#more eyes‚ sure‚ but since more people are posting stories everything gets buried

[snailmp3]

not my attention craving ass refreshing the ao3 page for my fic waiting for comments & getting sad when there arent any new ones

[loveydovey-leviathan]

I know you've written HCs for the older brothers crying - so what about the younger bros? :00 (And possibly the undateables/Simeon, if it isn't too much trouble!) I'm just a sucker for reverse comfort content 😔✊

crying hcs

gn! reader | older brothers dateables

a/n planning on doing the side dateables in another post! it'll take a while tho since school is kicking my ass /_ \

.

Satan:

He rarely ever gets emotional enough for this to happen now that he's learned to control his wrath. He might cry because of a particularly sad story he's been reading or maybe a cat he's taken care of fell sick, and while he can deal with that, it's when he gets so angry his mind knows the only other way to let everything out is to cry-- that's when it hits hardest. He sobs until he's left feeling cold and desolate.

There isn't any sign to know when he's about to cry, it just happens. He could be throwing tables and chairs across the room, he could be sitting quietly reading and the tears just appear. He's always surprised when it happens, he brings a hand to his face and becomes shocked when he sees them. He tries rubbing them away but once it starts, it won't stop anytime soon. If he isn't already-- he'll run to his room or somewhere else private. There, he buries his face into his arms and just cries. He sobs untils he's completely numb.

He won't do anything to try and get you to leave if you enter the room but he scoots away when you get closer. Giving him a hug really helps-- it won't stop him from crying but physical contact grounds him in a way. Carefully wrap your arms around him, he'll slowly sink into your chest and hug you back as gently as he can, like he's afraid he might hurt you like this. You don't have to do much after that, just sit there with him until he calms down.

He reacts pretty similarly if his brothers were the ones to find him, except he actively tells them to leave once they enter. They almost never listen and they know he needs someone right now, so they comfort him in their own ways. He just needs a person by his side.

Asmodeus:

It's no surprise to anyone but Asmo cries a lot. He cries to guilt people into giving him what he wants, he cries when he thinks he looks even more beautiful than he usually does, he cries when he's happy, when he's sad-- and he's not ashamed of it. During these light-hearted situations, he still makes absolute sure to look beautiful. His bottom lick quivers ever-so-slightly, his nose turns just the tiniest bit red and he wraps his arms around himself. Afterwards, he can quickly fix himself up in no time at all. Just a small swipe of tissue and a bit of a touch up to his make-up and outfit, then he's back to looking pretty in pink.

It's when he's insecure that he cries the hardest, and it always happens in his room. He makes sure to bury everything in the deepest crevices of his heart, almost never surfacing for anyone to see but sometimes it does and he can never truly stop the tears from falling, and on top of that-- he thinks he looks hideous like this. His chin scrunches up, his eyes turn red and he starts hiccupping. He desperately tries to wipe the tears away and act like this never happened but it won't stop-- his hands start shaking and he wraps his arms himself to try and calm down. He subconsciously rocks back and forth and he vaguely feels like he wants to faint. He won't leave his room for the rest of the day.

If you find him at his darkest hour, he furiously tries to rub the tears away and act like he wasn't crying his heart out. He wants to tell you to leave in his usual light-hearted tone but the words won't leave him. His voice is stuck in his throat. Close the door, walk towards the demon and give him a hug. If you're there, he stops crying quicker than he would've alone. Softly pet his hair and whisper sweet nothings, he thrives off of compliments-- even now.

If his brothers find him, he won't even bother acting like he's okay. He knows they'll see right through him, he just sits still as he weeps. Every brother has their own way of comforting him and while some of them are a bit unconventional-- the thought that they're trying their best to cheer him up makes it easier to silence his crying hiccups.

Beelzebub:

He's never been ashamed about crying. It's natural, so when he feels the tears come he lets them fall. He's always been one of the more emotionally intelligent of the brothers; he follows after Mammon in that way. He lets himself cry when he feels like it and he makes sure to comfort his brothers the best he can when he finds them sad as well.

He always starts by holding his wrist to his chest. He doesn't exactly know why he does it but maybe he just likes feeling small. He's big and protective, perfect to keep his family safe-- but sometimes he wants to be held as well.

If you find him like this, he'll appreciate a big hug. The ones where you squeeze with all your might like you want to wring out all the sadness away (he won't really feel it but he values the gesture). He'll hug you back, of course, and his hugs are known for being the best of the best. There, he'll tell you what's upsetting him, he trusts you-- you're his family after all.

It's pretty much the same when his brothers find him; a big hug and a long talk about why he's crying. He sometimes ends up sleeping in their room, feeling like they need to do more for their younger brother in times like this.

Belphegor:

The opposite of Beel in every sense. He hates crying, loathes how weak and tired it makes him feel. Sure, he might fake some tears to get what he wants (his brothers were always a bit too lenient with him), but actually letting out the sadness, anger and guilt he burdens? He despises it but he doesn't exactly wish for it to stop altogether. The torment of feeling this way reminds him of Lilith, the memory of losing her is painful-- but it's still a memory.

His lower lip quivers just the slightest bit before the tears start falling, and from there, he buries his face into his favourite pillow. It can get gross, there's snot and tears spread all over and it's always a hassle to clean-- but it's better than letting anyone but Beel and you see him like this.

When you see his face smushed against his pillow, you don't think anything of it. He's probably just sleeping as usual, but the small shake of his shoulders and low sniffles give him away. He won't move if you sit next to him but he'd appreciate it if you rubbed his back and stayed with him as he calms down or actually falls asleep.

His reaction will change depending on which brother finds him crying. If it's Lucifer or Mammon, he'll yell at them to leave. He tolerates Levi, Satan and Asmo, but Beel is really the only one he wants there. The familiar smell of food and the joy in his heart when his twin offers him food in an effort to cheer him up never fails to make Belphie smile.

[twstfanblog]

It's live people

The fabled main story rewrite fic is finally posted. I will mainly be posting it on my AO3, which I'm officially dropping here. But I will also try to give you guys the first chapter of each book as like an announcement of them starting. And as such here you go!

Yuu never remembered her dreams and this was the same all things considered. Echoes of voices calling out in desperation, the sounds of stones breaking and the phantom heat of what seemed like a fire. As usual, whatever she dreamt about started to fade away the lighter their sleep became. Half-baked thoughts and visions drifted into nothingness, leaving her blinking slowly back to the waking world.

She was breathing slowly and it was dark, was everything a dream then? Rubbing at her eyes, she yawns, hands moving carefully to find her phone where it should be placed lower on her bed. Instead, she feels the cool touch of foreign fabric under their fingers. Eyes snapping fully open, they start to trace their hands along their surroundings and body, "What is this…? I don't…" 

Silk. She hated silk. 'Fabric of Luxury' her ass, silk was hot and always felt weird on her skin. Any pair of silk pajamas were quickly given away since she couldn't even comfortably lounge in the material. But now, Yuu realized she was standing, everything was dark and she was covered head to toe in a silk outfit that kept her pleasantly cool.

Reaching out she feels the smooth texture of a wall, hands roaming around she feels another three walls. A box. She's in a fucking box. Was she buried alive? No, that wasn't possible. They had to, like, remove her organs to bury her, didn't they? Oh fuck. Was she about to be cremated ?

Her hands reached out in hesitance, making sure she felt the cool wood under her palms before she started to hit the surface. After a moment of silence, her hits start to increase in speed and force, “Hey! Hey, someone’s in here! Hello!?” Open palmed slaps turn to closed fists banging on the unmoving wall, “Hey!”

Every moment she spent hearing only her voice made her panic more and more. At the very least her banging was slowly inching the lid of whatever she was in. She huffed, fingers just barely squeezing through the gap. Luckily enough, the outside of the box was brighter, giving Yuu some sense of relief. Sadly it was short-lived, still seeing little and no one around, “Hello!?”

“Man, I need to find a robe fast…”

Yuu wiggles her fingers, hoping to draw the attention of whoever she had hoped she heard, “Hey! Over here! Oi!”

Quick steps echo in the room before the voice hisses at her, “Be quiet! You’re gonna get me caught!”

“Fuck you! I want out of this box!” She tries to move the lid again, groaning when it barely budges. This felt like a basic wood lid, why was it so hard to move? “Just help me!”

Whoever was outside was quiet for a moment, only to speak with an audible smirk, "Only if I get that robe you're wearing."

" I will - fine! I do not care! Just open the fucking box-"

“DEAL!”

It sounded like an explosion, the force of it ripping the lid away and a scream out of their throat. Their fingers felt uncomfortably dry yet sweaty from the intense heat that had suddenly enveloped them. They pulled their hand close, checking it over to make sure they still had all of their digits.

Once Yuu was confident they weren't missing any fingers, they stepped out of the box, "Thanks. You could have given me more…warning...Where are you?"

Yuu looked around the room, full of ornate coffins creepily enough, in confusion. Creepiness aside the room was large and decorated with gray tasseled flags sporting some type of blackbird as an emblem. It was like nothing she had ever seen before, nothing outside of a storybook anyway. Old, yet polished stone brick walls lined with green fire torches, dark. It looked pretty fancy.

They had started to walk, eyes tracing along the walls in unashamed curiosity before a voice jolted them from their stupor.

"Down here, human!"

Their eyes move downward, widening at the angrily pouting ‘cat’ sitting just in front of their feet, a three-pronged tail lashing around in annoyance.

"I let you out, so hand over the robe or you're gonna get it!"

…

Whatever confusion and surprise that had gripped them faded away. A talking cat, with blue flames coming out of its ears. They were clearly either dreaming or their brain was giving them one hell of a last chemical horah.

Yuu looked down at themselves. The robe was really nice now that they could see what they were wearing; silky black and lined with complex patterns of gold along the sleeves, a wide purple belt fastening it closed with an ornate golden buckle. Looking back to the cat, Yuu raises an eyebrow, muttering under their breath "I don't think this is gonna fit you, kitty."

The cat poofs up, blue flaming ears bursting out briefly from anger, "I'm not a cat! And you better hand it over if you don't wanna be extra crispy!"

" I will punt your ass, try me ." But, Yuu still started to unfasten the belt. Threats aside, they did make a deal and the ‘cat’ had helped them. Slipping the robe off their shoulders they were pleasantly surprised to see they were wearing a long-sleeved button-up, the sleeves ending fingerless with a loop around their middle fingers.

Picking the belt back up, they refasten it around their waist. They didn't have a mirror, just the general feel of their new outfit was plenty, "...Cute."

The robe was tossed onto the cat, the larger fabric engulfing the smaller creature's body easily, leaving it to hiss and scramble underneath it.

Yuu raised an eyebrow, watching the fabric shuffle and jolt around before taking pity on the poor thing. Taking the sleeve of the robe and lifting it off, they smirked at the frazzled cat, “Need some help?”

“No! I don't need help from some cruddy human! I'm Grim, master of magic and mystery! You should be bowing to me!”

Yuu will admit, the fire the cat spat out in anger was a little formidable. But they had a clear three feet over the beast and much stronger legs. If he actually attacked, the fight would be quick.

Tilting their head, they teasingly waved the robe around, jerking it out of Grim's reach whenever he tried to grab at it. Only when the cat had sat still, ears drooping in a truly pitiful display did he mumble out.

“...Fine.”

“...” Yuu shrugs, holding the robe out in front of them to give it a once over, “I'll take it. Hold still.”

The robe was not only too big for Grim to wear properly, but also had no way to close it. While they could give him the belt, it made their current outfit too cute to lose, so they had to come up with a new way to style the top. Rolling it up from the top, keeping the sleeves free until they had shortened the body of the fabric. Taking a gamble, they folded the sleeves in half to shorten them as well. Kneeling they tied the sleeves into a faux bowtie around Grim's neck. The way it was folded gave the illusion of four loops, leaving the rest of the robe to act as a cape.

Checking over their knot, they smile, patting the cat on the head a bit roughly before placing the oversized hood over his head. Though silently they wondered how his ears didn't set the fabric on fire, “There! Now you'll look dapper when you threaten to burn people alive.”

Grim smiled back, silently happy that this human had taken their time to help him, though he'd never say thank you, “Hmmmm. There may be more use for you yet, human. When I'm a great mage, I'll remember you when I rule the world!”

“Yeah, I doubt it. But, go have fun. I’m gonna…fucking leave, I guess.”

Yuu and Grim parted ways once outside of the room. They stood still, watching the creature scurry down the hallway and out of sight behind a corner, the shiny gold-laced robe flapping in the breeze. They let out a huff of a laugh, hands managing to find the pockets of the, strangely, perfectly tailored pants and walking in the opposite direction of Grim.

Wherever they were, dream or otherwise, was nice. It was nighttime, the sky empty of a single cloud and full of glittering stars and a massive greenish moon, the clean and crisp smell of ozone just barely noticeable. The grounds were like a castle; regal, old, and somehow effortlessly classy. This place was fancy, fancy . A fact that was only set by the number of tapestries and ornate portraits framed along the wall with shiny metal plaques resting under them. Their eyes tried to look from a distance at the details before turning away to gaze out the open arches, missing the paintings tilting their heads in confusion at their back. They pass by an open door, seeing what looks like a lecture room. It seemed lifeless in its empty state, but with designs carved into the wood of the built-in desks and rich colors, it was hard to call the room as such. There was an indescribable zing of something in the air here, like the feeling she'd remember having as a little kid on Christmas morning.

They found the exit to the building after wandering into a few more lecture rooms, leaving the empty halls through two large double doors. Pushing them open, just enough to squeeze through, they marveled briefly at the sight before them. A long stone staircase leading down to a perfectly manicured landscape. More buildings were stationed neatly on the flattened mountaintop, they could see what looked like a large iron gate blocking off the seemingly barren mountains outside of them. The glittering lights of a town far off in the distance, just barely covered by fog at the base of the mountain. Yuu smiled, looking up at the crystal clear sky full of stars as they leisurely descended the large number of stairs. As they looked at the bright green moon, they simply nodded their head in confirmation; a dream then.

They walked along the landscape for tens of minutes, reaching up to pluck an apple from one of the trees scattered about. Looking it over, they could only think about the old wives' tales of not eating the food in your dreams, a rule Yuu was never sure if they actually followed or not. They study the fruit, wondering if they could decipher the type from looks alone. It was big, like a Honeycrisp in season yet had the bold red coloring of a Red Delicious. Turning it over in their hands, checking for blemishes and finding none. Shrugging, they bring the apple to their mouth and bite into it.

Sweet, like a Honeycrisp, but had the lingering tartness of a Granny Smith. The combination making their mouth water and demand another bite while still leaving them satisfied with what they had. The skin was snappy, giving way under their teeth with ease yet filled with that ‘apple skin’ flavor Yuu couldn't help but love. They finished the apple in record time, tossing the core into a nearby bush and reaching for another; this one they would save for later.

They frowned, realizing they didn’t have their trusty shoulder bag with them. Then they realized they didn't have any of their possessions with them. Not their phone, their bag, the only thing that seemed to have remained on them was their underwear. Well, this was a dream anyhow, into the ‘Boob Pocket’ the apple went.

They look around briefly, seeing no one had spontaneously popped into existence the second they chose to be indecent, they undo the first few buttons of their shirt and shove the apple into their cleavage. Big boobs are good for one thing and it’s holding items. They’ll eat the apple later.

Seeing the brick path led farther away from the building, they looked behind them. Yep, still there. The castle hadn’t disappeared or become impossibly far away the second they left it, so maybe it was a more permanent fixture of the dream. They turn back to the path, giving the castle one last glance before continuing on their walk. It looked…weirdly familiar though Yuu wasn't sure where they had seen such a castle.

The ground level held more buildings to explore. Tall structures stood in the distance but there was a large building sitting just to the left of the stairs. Curiosity peaked, they walked toward the front and pushed open the door, wincing at the long squeak it produced. But, looking inside, their budding fear was quickly gone at seeing the rows and rows of towering bookshelves. Yuu steps into the room, glancing around to see if the area was really as empty as it appeared. Seeing no one around, not even a hellish prep school librarian, Yuu tip-toed into the room and closed the door behind them, breathing in the distinct smell of pressed paper and old leather.

Yuu walked through the shelves, not looking at the titles yet but enjoying how bright and vibrant the spines were. Some even had a gold lining! Just how much money did this dream school have to burn? They tap at one book, pulling it from the shelf and reading the cover before repeating the title aloud.

“The Great Freeze of the Northern Isles: A Personal Account from Olaph Christenson…” Yuu shrugs, tucking the book to her side and walking farther into the shelves. Before long Yuu had amassed several historical fiction books, even one that seemed to be a fantasy book about potions. They walked to a cluster of tables, just as ornately carved as the desks were in the main building. Sitting down, they crack open a book and start reading; not much else for them to do in this dream it seemed…

Yuu had surprisingly made their way half through one book before abandoning it for another. They did always love reading fairy tales; the ones in these books simply wrote about them in a more grounded manner. They had opened the potions book, reading the introductory paragraph and glancing at the table of contents before hearing doors slam open and the sound of yowling. They couldn’t see anything from their seat, at least not until they watched Grim scrabble his way through the aisles, yelling over his shoulder for an overgrown bird to leave him alone.

…

Not her monkey. Yuu turned back to the book in hand, trying to refind her place only to jump at the sound of a whip cracking. The book was forgotten for a moment, eyes looking around in bewilderment trying to find the source of the sound. 

Soon, they found the source; a tall man in a lavished blue and black suit combo with a black feather boa collar walked from between the shelves. Grim in his grasp via a black whip that held the cat yowling and squirming around.

The man sniffles, slacking the whip only to tighten it and silence Grim’s whining, “Consider it tough love …now just to find- Ah!” Black-tinted lips pulled into a pleased smile as he seemed to lock his sight on them, “There you are! I was growing worried I wouldn't be able to find you before the night was up.”

Yuu jolts lightly in their seat, not realizing they had made eye contact with the masked man. They couldn't actually see his eyes, the dim lighting of the room only showing bright glowing orbs from black pits. They quickly grabbed the book they were reading, standing from their seat.

The man sighs in relief seeing them stand, starting to walk over to them, “Oh, good! You're not going to be as troublesome as- AH! Wait!”

Yuu started out in a light jog away from the strange man, their pace picking up as they heard him following after them. Soon they and the unknown man were sprinting around the library, the masked figure calling out for them to stop.

Their response was to turn around and blindly launch the book at him. They tilted into a full run, turning sharply into a new section hearing the heavy thud of the hardcover book connecting and the man's squawk of pain. They duck behind a large desk, hiding in the opening underneath and hoping the man just assumed they had escaped the room.

Instead, they nearly screamed and kicked at Grim, the cat scrambling under the table with them. Yuu looked at the cat in surprise, noting his hair standing on end as they hissed out, “The fuck, don’t you go here or something? Why'd you bring that crazy guy here?”

Grim huffed, glaring up to them as he tried to press himself tighter against their legs to hide more under the desk, “I'm- I'm trying to be admitted here…I don’t know who that crazy bird is though…he saw me in the hallway and started throwing a fit-”

The man suddenly leaned in front of them, “There you two are-”

“AH!”

“ AH!” Yuu screamed along with Grim, their leg shooting out and connecting hard with the unknown man's chest, sending him crashing into the back of another sturdy desk.

“OW!” the man groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

Yuu and Grim scramble from under the desk, the pair making their way to the agape double doors of the library. The bird man couldn't hope to chase them both down once they were out of the room. It was going to be a matter of luck once they got out whoever he decided was more important to chase down.

The sound of ice crunching suddenly filled the air. A bright blue light sailed over their heads and hit the ground in front of the doors. Yuu's eyes widened, watching ice form, grow, and completely consume their only exit. The ice didn't stop at just the door, a patch had raced toward them and Grim. They slipped, gold-heeled feet quickly leaving the floor and sending them hard onto their back and sliding into the wall of ice.

Yuu looked behind them, eyes widening as they saw the man still standing a good distance away with his cane held out. At the very tip of the cane (Does it say RAVEN???) they could see the fading bright blue light that had shot out the ice, “The fuck?”

“Enough of your running! We have places to be and I'm not going to let you cause any more havoc on my campus!”

Yuu turns to Grim, the cat creature equally panicked, “Dude, don't you have, like, fire powers or something to melt this!?”

Grim perks up, ears twitching as he grins and turns to the ice, “Oh yeah! Watch as the Great Grim melts this lackluster magician's ice- ACK!”

Yuu scrambles away just as the whip wraps around Grim, the cat being yanked toward the mysterious masked man. Grim squirmed around, yowling and trying to escape the wrapping.

“WHA-WHAT IS THIS!? I CAN'T USE MY FIRE!?”

“Honestly…” The man sighed, swinging Grim loosely as he walked forward, “You're in a library, fire should be the last thing you use in such a place. The money to replace all these books would destroy my vacation fund…”

Now that he stood in front of Yuu, they realized with an unsettling feeling in their stomach they actually couldn't see his eyes. Behind the fanciful face mask of a crow were nothing but two actual voids of black with pinprick lights of yellow. He stood right in front of them and tilted his head with a slight click of his tongue.

“My, my! I'm not sure if you're a troublemaker or simply an overzealous student.” He smiles, updating his gentle swing to twirling the cat creature in a slow circle, fully ignoring Grim's whines, “But, I am most pleased! We need more students who enjoy studying. Surely, we'll be able to out do- OW!”

Yuu swears under their breath, they missed the man's knee and had only kicked him in the shin. Not the fully devastating attack they hoped for, but it was something since the man took his time to bend down and nurse his leg. Time that Yuu took to push themselves up and make a break for it. Hopefully, this library had a second entryway somewhere.

They sadly didn't get far. Another bright light shot out from behind them, this one being green. It hit just before their feet, sprouting vines that easily snatched them up by the ankles and held them upside down. They flailed only a bit before the vines had stretched them back to the now frowning man.

“Stop. Kicking me! I've made my decision, you are a troublemaker . As such you will be properly punished once you are sorted. And another thing-” The man took care to grab them by the bicep, holding them as the vines slowly weakened and disappeared to leave them feet back on the ground, “You must learn to control your familiar. It's not even the first day and you've already violated the school rules multiple times!…”

The man goes on and on, not seeming to realize that Yuu had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He went on about gates and orientation, claiming Yuu must have the ‘temerity’ to open their gate before he called for them (whatever the hell temerity meant…). They try to make eye contact with Grim, only to see the creature simply struggling in the whip wrappings and doing great heaving breaths as he tried to summon his fire.

“Are you listening!? Goodness, you are shaping up to be quite a poor student. How disappointing…”

“...I don't go here…”

The man blinked at them. He leaned in closer, humming softly as he brought the head of his cane to gently tap them on the forehead, “Oh. You must have gotten disoriented during the journey. Not uncommon…but not an excuse either. You've wandered very far from the main building and have brought such an unruly familiar on campus-”

“That thing ain't mine.”

“Stop interrupting me!” The man huffs, shaking his head before twirling his cane. 

Yuu watches in surprise as the metal rod disappeared, vanishing from sight in a show of navy-colored sparkles like it had always been some type of optical illusion, “The fuck?”

The man taps them again on the forehead, clicking his tongue before forcibly turning Yuu around and lightly shoving them toward the thawing ice blockade, “No foul language. Come along now, let's get you to the mirror chamber before everyone decides to leave. Goodness knows you've already wasted so much of my time…”

“Can you hear me? I don't go here!” Yuu tried to wiggle their way out the bird man's grip on their shoulder.

He laughs, easily gripping Yuu by the back of their shirt and pressing against the center of their back, forcing them to walk out of the library, “I shall help you regain your wits as we walk. Aren't I such a kind and compassionate educator?”

“ Get off of me!?”

Yuu had all but dropped themselves into dead weight after they had been forced back up the stairs to the courtyard. Sadly, all it managed to do was have the man drag them with no effort. The man who they learned to be called Dire Crowley, the headmaster of Night Raven College.

Groaning, Yuu punched at Crowley's arm again. It didn't help the first few times but it was all they could do to show their frustration, “I'm not even old enough to go to college! I didn't sign up for your damn school!”

Crowley frowned, with one hand keeping Grim in a tight hold, he wasn't able to properly deal with his new unruly student, “Nonsense. You were brought to our campus and are dressed in our ceremonial robes! You clearly are to be a student of ours. Age aside, as long as you are 16 by the end of the year, you qualify for your first year here.”

Yuu let out a growl that slid into a throaty scream. Gripping their arms onto Crowley's, they actually dropped their weight to lift their legs and kick at him from behind; not very strong in the long run, but he didn't have room to dodge them, “I. Dont. GO HERE!”

“AH! NO! STOP!” Crowley cut his losses and released them, frowning heavily at the panting figure on the ground, “I will say, you are impressively physical for a magician. Perhaps you will be more useful in sports than academics …”

“...” Yuu lifted their head from the ground, staring into Crowley’s voids with a stunned expression, “I’m sorry, I'm physical for a fucking what now?”

“...A magician-”

“ A magician!? Like, an Alakazam kinda bullshit!?”

“Bless you?” 

Yuu pushed themselves off the ground of the courtyard, pointing to their person in quick motions, “I ain't no fuckin’ witch!?”

Crowley perks up, tapping a clawed ring to his chin, “Ah! Do you use female pronouns? That's not normally seen here these days, but I will make sure it is added to your student file. Aren't I truly so understanding and-”

“ I AM GOING TO ACTUALLY SHIT, SHUT UP FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS!”

The only sounds were of Yuu's controlled breaths, the fading echo of a flock of birds fleeing for their lives in the distance. Crowley merely blinked at them, sharing brief eye contact with a still bound and gagged Grim before shifting his sight back to them.

Once they were back to a sense of calm, Yuu pressed their mouth to their clasped hands. Blinking, they looked around, eyes lingering on the full green moon before turning to Crowley, “There's been some kind of mistake. I don't…I'm not from here. I can't have, like…signed up for classes here or something because, I'm not from here .”

Crowley only huffed, rolling his eyes as if Yuu was the one not listening, “An ebony carriage should have met you carrying your gate. It was the vessel that brought you here.”

“ Carriage? Like a horse-drawn buggy?” At Crowley's nod, Yuu sputtered, “I didn't see no fucking horse! Let alone a carriage!”

“Hmmm…But you awoke in a gate, did you not?” Only now did Crowley seem intrigued, yellow orbs focusing on Yuu in a new manner, “You were in a gate and you are in the ceremonial robes. Unless you want to admit to breaking onto the campus and stealing a set of robes, you are clearly meant to be a student.”

Yuu groaned, face falling into their hands, “I didn't break in anywhere! I woke up in a coffin- fucking weird by the way-”

Crowley perks up, smiling as he makes a pose as though to say ‘Eureka’, “Yes! That is the gate; it was shaped after a coffin to signify the ending of one life to begin your new life here on campus as a Night Raven student.”

“...” Yuu stared at Crowley, the man taking full notice to see how she suddenly became subdued, “I don't remember a carriage…I was…I was inside before I woke up…I wasn't…I don't…”

“...” Crowley placed his hand back to Yuu's shoulder, gently and to be the comforting weight they seemingly needed, “The gate transport can cause gaps in memory. You may start to remember more once you complete your orientation. But to do that we must make haste to the chamber. It'd do no good to have your dorm leave you behind.”

They both stand in silence, only Grim's ever-constant struggle a sound before Yuu took a deep breath. She looks up to Crowley, nodding their head; they didn't have much of a choice.

“Ok…”

Crowley smiles, eyes turning to crescents through his mask, “Then off we go!”

The walk back to the school seemed so much shorter. What had taken them nearly half an hour had ended in only what felt like five minutes with Crowley's hand pressed on their shoulder in support. Yuu wasn't entirely sure where they were in the castle; It seemed so small in the few halls they had wandered through earlier. But now they were able to fully grasp the sheer massive size of this unexplored location. Soon, their small group came to large double doors; the bustling sounds of multiple people closed behind it.

Crowley gave them a glance over his shoulder, either to silently tell them to brace themselves or to make sure they didn't bolt the second his hand left their shoulder. Either way, he gets his answer and turns back to the doors, pushing them up to hear a bright voice speaking loudly.

“-be his stomach was upset and he's taking a long bathroom break!”

Whatever serious air the headmaster had around him was instantly broken, the masked man stuttering and nearly stumping onto the large stage, “I was not having stomach issues! I will have you know I was not lollygagging around the school; I have brought back our wayward final student and their familiar.”

Yuu looked around the room, hundreds upon hundreds of masked individuals sat in what could only be described as a ritual room. Tall ceilings and branching archways of stone frame the room yet still draw attention to the grand oversized full-length mirror in the center of the cleared area. Yuu stared at the face in the mirror, it seemingly staring back with a look void of all emotion. From behind the ornate mirror, Yuu could see a small ensemble of other cloaked figures sitting in raised seating behind the mirror, a clear way to set them apart from the lower seated masses.

“...” Yuu blinked, “Oh…I get it. This is a fucking cult. ”

…

The room was silent, the stray and strangled laughter of a few students quickly being snuffed out. A few of the students on the raised seating looked completely scandalized, expressions angered yet stunned in their silence. Crowley turned around to face them, his face finally showing the correct amount of confusion, “ What?”

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Step 17: Oh Gods, She's Wearing Pants (NSFW)

Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I'm backkkk! Sorry this update took so long, I started a new job a few weeks ago and it has been a hugeee adjustment. But have some smut from this lil shrimp 🦐✨

Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar

(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)

Chapter 16

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HWTAHP Masterlist

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Life was actually looking up. You had been seeing Dr. Kinbott every other week to help work through the plethora of issues you had. On top of that Vlad was still getting you moving every day (you low-key hated him for it). He had also taken it upon himself to teach you everything he knew of vampire history. Sometimes you weren’t sure whether he was embellishing some of the stories or if vampire history was that insane.

Sometimes Yoko would tag along, more often than not to help him teach you how to use some of your vampire powers. You snorted the first time Vlad referred to them as that and then nearly died when he moved from one end of the room to right in front of you in the blink of an eye to glare down at you.

The one ‘vampire power’ you had the most control over was your sudden acquisition of fuckin epic strength. And by most control you mean you had to learn super quickly how not to rip every door you opened off its hinges.

Your other abilities weren’t anywhere near refined. Yoko had been trying to teach you how to use your enhanced speed which you had managed once before ending up smashing into a wall. You were fine, the wall however did suffer. (yet another wall that is a victim of your new powers. Rip.)

Since you didn’t know who your family was or where you came from both Vlad and Yoko had explained that you may have other abilities if you came from what they called a Legacy family. Apparently, they can have some super sick extra powers like hypnosis or transformation and the like. You were sure you were just a regular vampire, the odds of you having any extra powers were so slim you didn’t need to worry.

On top of that things between you and Larissa were better than ever. You spent every evening together, often ending with you staying the night in her quarters. And fucking hell was waking up to her almost every morning a gift from the gods.

On the nights when you’d stay with her, you’d help her with her evening routine, always ecstatic she let you help her. You’d help remove the pins from her hair, brushing it out for her as she removes her makeup. You always press kisses into her hair afterwards, your heart skipping a beat and the small soft smile on her face at your actions.

You’d both then change into pyjamas, hers always sinfully attractive on her. Then you spend the evening having dinner and cuddling on her couch. Sometimes she’d tell your stories of her day or about her past. you loved listening to her speak, you could quite literally do it for hours.

This morning you were lucky enough to wake up in her arms once again. You took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of her and feeling a smile creep across your face. You bury your head into her neck, sighing happily. You feel her stir a few moments later, her arm tightening around your waist. She lets out her own content sigh before pressing a kiss to your head.

“Mmm…good morning my darling,” she hums, her voice still raspy from sleep.

“Good morning pretty lady,” you hum back, leaning up to kiss her chastely.

The two of you stay like that for a little while, Larissa laying on her back with her eyes closed, one arm wrapped around your waist. You grinning up at her, bringing your hand up to trace the lines of her face. These moments with her, where the two of you are simply existing together, are your favourite moments in the world.

Eventually, though Larissa has to get up and get dressed, she does have a school to run after all. You love watching her get ready for the day. She always wears such gorgeous outfits, always looks so elegant and-

Oh, holy fuck she’s wearing pants today.

She so rarely wears pants, usually opting for skirts or dresses. So when she slips on a pair of form-hugging pants with a chunky belt and white sweater you almost choke on air and feel your face heat up. She bends over to pick up a pair of heels and you absolutely stare shamelessly at her ass.

You must have let out some noise, probably a rather gay sound with the way Larissa turns and looks at you. She grins smugly as she toes on her heels. She pulls on a blazer to complete the look before leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll see you later darling,” she all but purrs and you have to resist every urge to pull her into the bed and ravish her right then and there.

“I-you- have a good day m’love,” you manage, ogling her as she all but saunters away.

———

You spend the rest of the day catching glimpses of the white-haired beauty every hour or so. She seems to be moving around campus far more than usual. Not that you’re complaining. When she does come around, nine times out of ten you get so distracted you walk into or drop something.

On top of that, sometimes when she appeared she would shoot you these looks. You couldn’t explain it but you swear the woman was trying to kill you. Gods, you wanted to climb her like a tree.

So after a lunch filled with you all but drooling over her and a couple of hours afterwards daydreaming about her and her stupid sexy legs and hands and face…where were you again? You finally decided to say fuck it and made your way to her office in record time. Vlad and his lessons could wait, you had a far more important task to do.

You entered her office quietly, not wanting to disturb her if she was in a meeting. The sight that greeted you made you actually choke on air. There she was sitting at her desk as usual. But she had discarded her blazer on the back of her chair and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. She was typing furiously on her laptop, as usual, frowning at the screen from behind her glasses.

You locked the door behind you before striding purposefully over to her desk. By the time she glanced up at you, you were already rounding her desk to get to her.

“Darling? Is everything alri-oh!” She yelps as you pull her up from her chair into your arms.

You press a kiss to her very gorgeous lips and reach around her to shut her laptop and move it aside. You lift her up onto her desk, not once removing your mouth from hers. She lets out the cutest noise at that, hands moving to clutch your shoulders before she tangles them in your hair, tugging on it slightly. You groan into her mouth, teeth scraping against her lip. The room feels impossibly hot and she is wearing far too many clothes. As much as you like her pants they need to come off. Now.

Your hands make their way down her body, slipping under her sweater to caress the skin of her stomach. You preen at the hum she lets out, your hands becoming more daring. Your fingers slip under her bra, trailing gently over the underside of her breasts. She gasps, her mouth disconnecting from yours when your thumbs brush over her nipples.

You press kisses to her neck as you do your best to unclasp her bra. It does take a fair bit of fumbling and a few curses muttered to get there. Larissa lets out a breathy chuckle as she scratches the back of your neck. When you finally manage to get rid of the offending item you make quick work of removing it along with her sweater.

You press your lips to her collarbone, nipping at the soft skin just above her breasts. Her grip on your hair tightens, her hands attempting to move your attention where she wants it. Instead of giving her what she wants you graze your teeth along to underside of her breast, grinning at the way her breath stutters.

You decide your desire to tease her is not as strong as your need to please her and take one of her nipples into your mouth, lathing your tongue over it. The strangled moan she lets out makes your heart skip a beat. You nip at the pert bud, your other hand groping at her free breast. She lets out the most sinful sounds, your whole body heating more and more with each one.

Your hands travel down to the waistband of her pants, fingers quickly undoing the button and unzipping the zipper. You pull them and her panties down her legs after she lifts herself off the desk for a moment. She starts tugging on the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to take it off. You pull back from kissing her chest and take her hands in yours, moving them back to sit on the desk.

“Nu-uh honey, tonight I’m in charge,” you hum, delighting in the way her whole face turns red.

“So you just keep those lovely hands of yours right here. Can you do that for me, my love?”

“I- yes. Yes,” She breathes.

“Good girl,” you purr.

You get down on your knees, looping your arms under her thighs. You pepper kisses from her knee to the top of her thigh, stopping just before her soaking cunt. You repeat the action on the other side before gently pulling her thighs apart. You take in the sight of her glistening folds, feeling your mouth water at the sight.

“Is this all for me Rissa?”

“Mmm, only for you baby…” she moans.

You press one final kiss to the inside of her thigh before licking at her cunt. You lap at her slit, moaning at the taste of her. You’re certain this is what heaven is like, the way she tastes like the sweetest ambrosia.

You eat her out as though you were starved. You alternate between flicking your tongue over her clit and lapping at her entrance. Her moans and whimpers are like music to your ears, the sexiest symphony you’ve ever heard.

“Oh fuck, darling. Please-I’m-I’m so close-“ she pants.

You feel her thighs begin to tremble on either side of your head. She lets out a string of curses interspersed with cries of your name. You double your efforts, hands pinning her to her desk as she bucks and writhes.

“Fuck!” She cries.

Her back arches as she throws her head back, letting out a choked moan. Her whole body stiffens, thighs clamping shut around your head. You keep licking and sucking at her clit, only stopping when she gently pushes you away. You press one last kiss to her inner thigh before standing and wrapping your arms around her waist.

She truly looks ethereal in this moment. She’s leaning back on her hands, chest heaving and flushed. Her eyes are closed, breath coming out of her lips in pants. She’s glowing in the low light of her office. Her hair is slightly mussed, falling out of her elegant hairstyle in places.

You cup her cheek, heart-melting when she nuzzles into your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. You almost want to cry, luckily you don’t. You lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead, hearing her hum happily in response. You bury your face in her neck, enjoying having her in your arms.

“Darling,” she sighs happily, “not to sound ungrateful because that was truly wonderful, but what on earth brought this on?”

“Pants.” You mumble into her neck.

“Pardon?”

You lean back, idly tracing shapes into her collarbone. “You were uhm, you wore pants today. You don’t often you know wear ‘em. And you just. I mean you have such gorgeous legs and the most earth-shatteringly sexy ass I’ve ever seen-“

She bursts into laughter at your admission, cheeks flushing.

“It’s true!! You have no idea how hot you are Rissa. Like…I don’t know how I get anything done when you’re here looking like you stepped out of heaven every single day.”

“But the pants do something for you hm?” She chuckles.

“Mmm, they just tipped the scales of my already incredibly inappropriate thoughts about you,” you grin.

“Well, darling,” she purrs, slipping off her desk and sauntering in the direction of her bedroom while pulling you along, “I hope you had no intentions of returning to your rooms tonight.”

You stare far too shamelessly at her ass as she drags you into her room. You were so focused on watching her that when she spins you around and all but pushes you onto the bed, you can only stare up at her, eyes wide and incredibly turned on.

She straddles your waist, smirking down at you in a way that makes heat pool between your thighs. She slips her hands beneath your shirt, leaning down to hover close enough to your face that you can feel her breath on your lips.

“Now then,” she hums, “let’s get you out of these clothes hm? The evenings only just started, and I’m nowhere near done with you.”

[cheesy09]

[CN] Kiro's Invasion Date

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This date was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]

[PART 1]

MC: ...It is a great honor to win the Best Creative Short Film Award at this Golden Star Film Festival

MC: Finally, I would like to thank the team who worked with me and the audience who were willing to listen and understand this story.

There was endless applause from the auditorium, and I bowed solemnly. When I stepped off the stage, several acquaintances nearby congratulated me one after another.

I thanked them one by one, and when I passed by that familiar figure, I couldn’t help but take a look.

Noticing my gaze, he raised his eyes, smiled and nodded.

Kiro: Congratulations.

MC: ...Thanks.

I wanted to say something more, but he looked away.

-

Until the end of the award ceremony and the start of the salon reception, our eyes never met again.

Since there weren’t many opportunities for colleagues to gather, many took this opportunity to converse with each other. Not far way, Kiro was happily chatting with a director, my presence completely unnoticed.

A little disappointment welled up in my heart. At that moment, Director Sun, who I had worked with before, came over with a glass of wine.

Director Sun: MC, congratulations on winning the award. Should I start calling you director now?

MC: You flatter me. I have you to thank for the drama salon you invited me to last time. I really learned a lot.

Director Sun: I’m also happy that you young people came to socialize more. I’ll do it again later. You and Kiro should come together when you’re free.

MC: ...Sure.

After Director Sun left with a smile, I took another look at Kiro, but happened to be caught by his returned gaze.

I raised my glass to him from a distance, just wanting to signal, but he unexpectedly came towards me.

KIro: Miss Producer MC, I watched your award-winning work this time. It was wonderful and touching. 

Polite and gentle. Everything seemed perfectly amiable but at the same time, very distant.

I took a deep breath, buried the phrase “I miss you so much” in my heart, and raised a polite smile.

MC: Congratulations to you for winning the Golden Star Actor Award. I respect you for that.

Without waiting for him to respond, I downed the champagne that was in my glass.

The alcohol suddenly went to my head, and my head grew light. Kiro’s slightly surprised face grew a bit troubled.

He took the glass from my hand and gently rubbed his fingertips against my skin, sending over an ambiguous electric current which made my fingertips numb.

Kiro: You look a little dizzy, Producer. Should I take you to your room to rest?

He stood at a distance that crossed no lines, and calmly and patiently waited for my answer.

I hadn’t reached a point where I couldn’t go back to my room myself, but before I could think about the results, my body instinctively took a step closer to him.

MC: ...Then I will have to trouble Mr. Star Kiro. 

[PART 2]

In order to celebrate Valentine’s Day tomorrow, the promenade from the banquet hall to the guest room was decorated with layers of brilliant star lights.

After leaving the banquet hall, the cool night air made me shiver. The very next second, a jacket with his body temperature fell on my shoulders.

He tidied up the coat for me in a gentlemanly manner, only his fingers casually grazing the ends of my hair before leaving.

We walked side by side, keeping a distance that was neither far nor close. And this distance was a result of my own suggestion.

-

[Flashback]

Kiro: It’s been ages since I’ve seen you. I never expected that Director Yan would be stricter than before...

On the phone, Kiro’s voice was listless.

This time, he was collaborating with the great director Yan Dao in an AI anthropomorphic movie, in which Kiro played the AI hero.

Kiro: Director Yan said that I wasn’t getting into the drama, and asked me to block out all emotional ‘input sources’ and look for a more ‘mechanized’ feeling.

Hearing Kiro’s long sigh, I pinched my phone with my fingertips, longing to touch his face.

The lingering love during the New Year’s holiday seemed to have left a lingering warmth, and we talked to each other on the phone almost every day during this period.

Could it be that Kiro couldn’t “shield his emotions” because we talked too much recently? My heart froze for a moment and I pursed my lips.

MC: How about... not contacting each other for some time? You should concentrate on filming first and find out how you feel.

Kiro: Don’t. I still need you to provide me with motivation.

MC: But haven’t you been NG (no good) for days? I don’t want to bother you.

MC: You should... know the source of the problem already.

As a major star who always asks to appear on screen with the most perfect appearance, Kiro was never one to let go of any of the factors that affected him.

The situation was clear. While I, too, was very sad, Kiro’s work was more important right now.

Kiro: .....

Kiro: But we’ll still meet at the Golden Star Film Festival next week... And the second day of the event is Valentine’s Day.

MC: During that time, I’ll keep my distance from you and will not interfere with your work.

I tried my best to make my voice sound extremely understated, but the pain from my fingernails digging into my palm still made me perceive the sadness in my heart. 

After a moment of silence on the other end of the phone, a low voice came.

Kiro: ...Sorry, it’s all my fault.

Kiro: When the filming for this is over, I’ll definitely make up for all the sweetness we’ve lost during this time. In fact, double it!

[End of Flashback]

-

Under the reflection of the bright starlight, his exquisite face still showed no sign of agitation.

I kind of regretted making that agreement.

Despite his coat blocking out the night wind, I still couldn’t help but slowly approach that familiar source of warmth. And as soon as the backs of our hands touched each other, the slightly cool gap in my heart was filled to the brim.

Tomorrow, he would return back to the studio to film, and the state he was maintaining would not be “wasted”.

Despite that reason tugging at my brain, my hands were unwilling to follow its instructions. I tentatively moved half a step closer to him again, letting our arms stick together.

The hand at my side touched his lightly with a forward rhythm, leaving an unconcealable throbbing in my heart. Kiro seemed to not notice it.

The reassuring temperature was like a warm current flowing slowly, which made one feel a little sad.

Just another five seconds, no, ten seconds... and then I’ll leave.

I counted the ten seconds in my heart over and over again, but as if we had a tacit understanding over this, neither of us moved away first.

When I was finally thinking about taking a step back, my pinkie was gently hooked.

His fingertips gently touched my palm, leaving a scorching mark.

In the deafening silence, I felt my heart beating clearly.

Not far away from the room, I slowed down, reluctant to part. And the finger that had been wrapped around mine, suddenly clasped my hand lightly.

Maybe it was the unstable center of gravity from wearing high-heeled shoes, or the swaying of my rationality after being soaked in alcohol, or maybe... it was him, who felt the same reluctance I did.

If it was an “unexpected situation”, it wouldn’t count as a breach of the agreement, would it?

With that thought in mind, I half-truthfully twitched and fell towards him. At almost the same time, a force came from my wrist, and my body fell into his embrace.

The hug was unexpected, but neither of us moved.

Until a slightly satisfied sigh came from my ear and I was hugged by the waist. In my partly widened eyes, the corners of his lips that seemed to be smiling, were reflected.

Kiro: It seems that today’s champagne has taken quite the toll on you. You probably won’t be able to walk to your room yourself.

Kiro: Let me take you the rest of the way.

-

There was a vague sound of water coming from the bathroom, and I leaned against the head of my bed, my pounding heart muddled into a complete mess.

The walk back from the banquet hall could have lasted a little longer...

I buried my face in his coat, missing the embrace that didn’t last long.

After a while, Kiro came out of the bathroom with a warm wet towel and makeup remover cotton, blocking out the dim floor light.

MC: You can go back and rest...

He didn’t respond to me, but just gently dabbed the makeup remover cotton on the corner of my eyes.

Kiro: Close your eyes.

The cleansing cotton carefully traced over every corner of my face. I couldn’t bear to fall asleep, so in a daze, I took his hand.

MC: Are you leaving?

Kiro: Do you want me to stay?

The whisper that was close at hand seemed to be a wonderful, yet deadly temptation. I nodded, shook my head again, and spoke the truth with unclear logic.

MC: You have to go back to the set tomorrow, I can’t mess with your focus--

MC: But I miss you so much...

After a moment of silence, a deep chuckle hit my heart. He moved closer and asked again.

Kiro: Do you want me to stay?

MC: How could I want you to leave...

As soon as my words fell, my body was pushed into the mattress and within the next second, an overwhelmingly hot kiss was pressed down on me without warning.

He easily pried open my mouth and lazily explored bit by bit. 

His slender fingers ran through my hair, traced my eyebrows over and over again, and than slid down to my collarbone, as if confirming something.

Kiro: MC...

He whispered my name, luring me to continue to approach him.

The sounds of our pants were quick and heavy, and our fingers were tightly intertwined, tirelessly demanding from each other, trying to fill in all the gaps that were left open during this period.

I almost wanted to melt in that scorching heat, but I was looking forward to his more undeniable invasion.

In the dimness, it seemed that the midnight bell sounded outside the window.

Finding a sliver of clarity in my broken mind, I tried my best to raise my neck, and kissed the corner of his warm lips.

MC: Happy Valentine’s Day, Kiro.

He paused, and then responded with a more passionate kiss.

My consciousness floated amongst gentle waves, and before falling asleep, a soft voice came to my ear.

Kiro: Happy Valentine’s Day, MC.

[PART 3]

It was almost noon the next day when I woke up from a deep sleep.

MC: Kiro..?

I rubbed my bleary eyes and called his name, but no one answered. There was no one beside the bed, only a lunch box that had been left on the small table that still had some residual warmth.

There were dozens of messages on my phone, and the top dialog box was blank.

Although a little disappointed, I tacitly put down my phone, got up and took a shower.

There was going to be a red carpet walk in the afternoon, and all the winners were participating. Many media outlets were also invited.

Among the messages I received, there was a message from an actor friend saying that he had to return to the set temporarily and could not walk the red carpet with me.

I sighed and walked out of the hotel to go to the event venue.

Do I want to go alone, or should I find a partner? Just as I was coming up with an idea, a pair of blue eyes flashed in my mind.

Like telepathy, a familiar van stopped in front of me.

The car door opened and the person I was thinking about appeared before me.

The early spring sunshine was perfectly adequate, and through the scattered new shoots and branches and leaves, a colorful scene was reflected on his body, like beautiful magic.

Seeing me, a smile grew on his face.

Kiro: Good afternoon, Gold Medal Producer. It looks like you had a good rest last night.

I felt like there was something hidden beneath his words, but his frank gaze was devoid of any charm.

Thinking that we should continue our previous “agreement”, I also smiled politely.

MC: Not bad indeed, you look like you got up early.

Kiro: Well, there was an interview in the morning, which just ended. The time arranged for that had been relatively early.

He explained lightly, and slowly blinked his eyes with a certain hint, arousing the scorching throbbing that we knew very well.

Kiro: For the red carpet event in the afternoon, who do you plan to walk with?

MC: My partner has a temporary job, so I’m planning a one-man red carpet challenge.

Unexpectedly, he raised his eyebrows, stretched his hand and showed a sincere smile.

Kiro: I’m also alone. I wonder if I can invite this Gold Medal Producer to walk the red carpet with me?

MC: Is that... okay?

Kiro: Don’t you think today is the perfect day for us to walk together?

Hie eyes were burning, and the smile on his lips seemed determined. This was an invitation that would not be rejected.

And of course, I wouldn’t say no to him.

MC: Then, please take care of me, Mr. Superstar.

-

After putting on our makeup, Kiro and I went backstage to await our turn.

On both sides of the red carpet, the flashing lights lit up one after another, becoming a foil for the dashing figures on the red carpet.

Kiro: It’s almost our turn.

Kiro tidied up his cuffs calmly, and the high-tailored suit made his figure even taller and more slender.

Perhaps seeing through my nervousness, he tilted his head and joked.

Kiro: If this expression got photographed on the red carpet, it’d be in the headlines tomorrow.

Kiro: The title would be “International superstar’s flirting on the Valentine’s Day red carpet with female producer failed, suspected to have an inside fling”.

MC: That’s way too exaggerated!

I laughed at his light-hearted banter and felt a warm finger against the corner of my lips.

Kiro: Your smile is beautiful. Be confident, you’re a gold star director. With me here, there won’t be a problem. You just have to show your brightest smile.

Usher: Mr. Kiro, Director MC, it’s your turn soon.

Kiro: Are you ready?

I exhaled and walked out of the shadows of the backstage with him in my arms.

The overwhelming flashes of light flashed one after another on both sides of us. It seemed like the brightest lights in the world had gathered here.

But at the moment, a secret joy that no one knew of suddenly arose in my heart.

Today was Valentine’s Day, and it was also my first time walking the red carpet with Kiro. 

Every shot would put us in the same frame. In this scene, he belonged only to me.

He faced the cameras with ease, his footsteps graceful and free, as if he was stepping on the stars with every step.

But the stars were vast, and he was the only focus.

I followed Kiro to the signature wall and was about to turn around when he just happened to lower his head.

Kiro: Excellent performance.

His warm lips traced against the shell of my ear, and his low whisper, accompanied by his warm breath, rushed into my ears, leaving a sultry and heart-throbbing sensation that no one else noticed.

By the time I wanted to trace back the disappearing temperature, the instigator had already smiled and waved to the camera.

Only the teasing at the corner of his lips that he hadn’t had time to withdraw revealed his devious little thoughts.

Reporter A: Director MC, congratulations on winning the Golden Star Awards this time. What was your inspiration for this work?

Reporter B: Kiro, I heard that you’re still filming a new movie. Can you tell me...

In addition to the Superstar Kiro, many reporters were also interested in me, a “director” who didn’t show her face very much.

Reporter C: I heard that the two of you had collaborated before. Walking the red carpet together on Valentine’s Day, is there any special meaning to it?

I was taken aback by the tricky question, but Kiro smiled with ease.

Kiro: I have always liked the works of producer MC, and it’s a great honor to participate in the award ceremony with her this time.

Kiro: Before stepping onto the red carpet, we were still discussing future cooperation.

Reporter B: Does this cooperation refer to the new work directed by MC?

Kiro: That is confidential.

Kiro: I can only say that she’s a creative and serious producer with many interesting stories, and you’ll find many new inspiring things when working with her.

He turned his face sideways, and in his clear and bright eyes, I alone was clearly reflected.

He pinched my finger lightly behind the shadow of the camera.

Kiro: [very, very softly] The muse of inspiration will always be my only choice.

-

After the red carpet event, the award ceremony was drawing to a close.

I was a little sad, since after this, Kiro would have to return to the set, and we wouldn’t be able to see each other until two months later.

Kiro: Do you have any work to do after this?

MC: Nope.

Kiro: Great, then let’s go~

Hearing that, my eyes lit up.

MC: Go where? Aren’t you going back to the set to film?

Kiro: That’s what I planned to do, but I need your help with something at work.

His expression was friendly but not intimate, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking for a while. But this was a work matter. I needed to help without breaking the “agreement”. Thinking about it like this, I nodded with peace of mind.

Kiro: After that, your time is mine.

-

Unexpectedly, Kiro took me to his recording studio. There were still some audio track files on the screen of his console.

Kiro: In addition to starring as the male lead, I actually also acted as the film’s music producer.

Kiro: There’s a BGM that requires a female voice to hum, and I think you’re voice is very suitable.

Seeing his confident appearance, I hesitated.

MC: ...Isn’t it better to have a professional singer sing this?

Kiro: In order to match the plot, I want a more jerky and pure tone, so I think your voice is very suitable.

He adjusted the sound, put the headset on my head and played the demo to the score.

Kiro: Take it easy, let me teach you.

Kiro was indeed an extremely professional teacher, and the recording of the piece didn’t take long.

After he finished listening to the recording, he smiled and nodded at me.

Kiro: I still have a personal OST that I want your help with. Do you want to strike while the iron is hot?

[PART 4]

His scorching body temperature approached me from behind. his arms crossed my shoulders, and he adjusted to microphone in front of me.

This posture basically completely enclosed me in his arms.

MC: Isn’t this a little too close...

Kiro: Not close, this one needs a chorus. Ready? I’ll teach you the melody first.

I tried my best to concentrate, but my mind was distracted by the body temperature behind me.

He seemed to have noticed my half-heartedness, and whispered in my ear with some “dissatisfaction”. 

Kiro: [whispering very enticingly] Focus on work--

His ambiguous whispers brushed past my ears along with his warm breath, leaving behind palpitations that made one feel restless.

But before I looked back, he pulled away, just like that unintentional move on the red carpet.

Kiro: Your voice is breaking here. Did you forget the way I taught you to speak so quickly?

Every time I made a small mistake, I would receive a little “reminder” from him. Either he would gently tug at my earlobe, or guide our bodies to be “close-fitted”.

But every single time, it was like a dragonfly skimming the water’s surface, leaving at a touch. It made one feel agitated, but helpless to do anything about it.

Finally, when he leaned over again and tried to ‘add fuel to the fire’, I squeezed his hand.

MC: Kiro, are you playing these tricks on purpose?

He tilted his head and leaned closer until our noses brushed. A pair of innocent eyes gazed at me deeply.

Kiro: Wasn’t it MC who broke the agreement by “tricking” me first?

Kiro: Obviously you said that you would refuse to contact me, and that meeting me would not affect my state, but it turned out to be the opposite.

He sighed softly, his voice slightly hoarse.

Kiro: Shouldn’t you be responsible for me?

MC: I... didn’t really go back on my word...

I opened my mouth, but when I recalled the little tricks I played under the intoxication, I felt a little guilty.

Kiro: Didn’t go back? You kept staring at me at the reception hall, and then stuck to me after drinking too much. Even when I was giving a speech on stage...

MC: Wait, I didn’t do anything while you gave your speech.

Kiro: You’d occasionally wander off to check your phone while others were giving their speeches. But as soon as I came on stage, you kept watching... I was so nervous that I forgot half my sentences. 

I was stunned for a moment and blinked belatedly.

MC: Don’t you know that I’m looking at you because you’re always looking at me?

He didn’t answer. His eyes seemed to contain thousands of unspeakable emotions, gently grasping my heart. 

The longing that had accumulated for a long time, engulfed me once again.

MC: Sorry, although we had an agreement, but I... really miss you.

MC: Can I give you a hug to recharge? Just for a moment...

Before I could finish speaking, a firm hug filled my arms, as if I had been waiting for a long time.

He cherishingly and tenderly kissed my eyebrows, again and again, and we indulged in each other’s temperatures without reservation.

I don’t know long it took before I reluctantly patted his back, but he only hugged me even tighter.

MC: ...What are you going to do about tomorrow’s shoot?

Kiro: It doesn’t matter... In order not to mess up, I’ve found a few tricks.

MC: Tricks?

Kiro: The method you proposed this time was very helpful, and my mistakes reduced immediately. 

Kiro: Although Director Yan felt that I was qualified, when I was researching this role, I felt a little distance from him.

He relaxed his shoulders and rested his chin on my shoulder. A voice that was deeper than usual lingered in my ears.

Kiro: Even if I know what he’s thinking, or how he’s acting... I can be cold and heartless, but I can’t be him. I thought for a long time and finally found the reason why.

MC: What is it?

He turned his head slightly and rubbed my face lightly with his fingertips. His eyes were filled with tenderness and love. 

I couldn’t help but breathe lightly, for fear of breaking the warmth of this moment.

Kiro: Because I met a very important person. She kept me away from loneliness, let me know the heartbeats of missing someone, and let me find my own destination.

He took my hand and placed it gently on his chest. The hot and powerful heartbeat under my hand, passed though my palm and merged with my pulse.

Kiro: She gave me irreplaceable warmth, and made me no longer remember what it was like to be alone.

Kiro: I can only try to image what it would be like to completely remove “Kiro” from my body, so that I wouldn’t feel love at all.

Kiro: That way, I can become him.

His tone was casual, but I couldn’t even imagine how hard it would be to completely strip yourself away. I pictured him forcing himself in a room, tossing and turning to adjust his state in order to be perfect.

There was a soreness in my heart. I stretched out my hand to trace his eyebrows and eyes, seeing that he hid that obscure tiredness without leaving a trace, and gently held my hand to the corner of his lips.

Kiro: So don’t worry, I’ll do fine tomorrow.

His determined voice sounded like some kind of appeasement, but also like a cryptic request. I let go of all considerations and hugged him again, but at the same time, a question suddenly floated in my mind--

MC: In other words, even without our agreement, you had found your own way.

MC: Then why did you keep your distance from me during the award ceremony?

Kiro: Because I wanted to try and see if I could still find that state while you were in front of me--

Kiro: But from the moment you came into my field of vision, I knew it was a failure.

Kiro: My body kept telling me that this was the person I loved the most. It had this uncontrollable desire to get close to you and embrace you.

Kiro: ...I wanted to declare my sovereignty over you in front of everyone.

Kiro: MC, tell me, why am I like this?

His slightly raised eyebrows were seductive, as if he was luring his prey into his territory little by little.

It was a no-brainer answer, but for some reason, I wanted to hear him say it myself.

MC: [blushing] Why?

Kiro: Because Kiro loves you.

Kiro: Because I love you, I can’t hide my love for you.

In his deep gaze, there was a secret emotion, akin to a sea of stars.

Kiro: It’s hard to pretend I don’t love you, even when I can’t see you.

Kiro: I can only keep hinting that I’m only temporarily saying goodbye to “Kiro”, and soon, I’ll be able to see my MC again.

The warm lights outlined his soft contours. Our overlapping breaths slowly drew closer, and his low end voice was a tad bit alluring.

As he wished, I got a little closer.

MC: See her for what reason?

Kiro: To let her know, of course-- how much I miss her.

Being grabbed by my wrist and lightly pulled, I was caught off guard and fell forward, falling into his long-awaited embrace.

Once the “prey” was ensnared, he lightly chuckled, and a fleeting kiss fell on the side of my neck. His scorching breath made me tremble uncontrollably.

But he seemed to have found something interesting, and slowly licked downwards, until he reached my collarbone.

The subtle probing but not in-depth teasing made the fire in my heart grow more and more intense. I pried away the headphones that were in the way from around his neck, and kissed him deeply.

But the tip of his tongue lazily chased after me, goading me to go deeper.

His fingers caressed the skin around my waist, the numbness spreading to every corner of my body, making my heart tremble at the same time.

The fiery and passionate kiss, with sweet comfort, slowly tempted me to give him everything.

More delightful than the sweetest sugar, more intoxicating than the mellowest wine.

I was like a drowning person, desperately trying to draw strength and oxygen from him.

As if aware of my response and desire, he melted a deep smile between his lips and teeth, his fingertips dancing along my spine, little by little.

Turns out that we were both the same; irresistibly addicted to each other.

Unable to stop.

It was the simultaneous longing of the body and soul, the irresistible attraction, and the emotion that was several times more intense than simple liking.

Like the softest and most fragrant thorns, one could not escape it, but was willing to sink into it.

During our interlaced panting, I saw my blurred self in his eyes.

Kiro: [gasping] I love you, MC.

Kiro: I’ve been in love with you since a long, long time ago.

As he said that, he kissed me, letting me feel the entirety of his confession with the most direct actions.

I don’t know who touched the control panel, but a soft and ambiguous melody slowly flowed out, blending with our chaotic heartbeats and breathing, into a beautiful movement.

MC: I’ll love you forever too, Kiro.

[nonclassyparty]

Playing Devil's Advocate when I say that I don't think SR!San is more "irredeemable" than SR!Mingi. From the beginning of this series, if I'm not wrong, you emphasized the importance of how human beings are flawed and we don't always do the right thing while other times we do. Even SR!Yeosang said SR!San wasn't a bad person, per se. Just someone he didn't want to be around just to say that he was the one who stuck with him through everything. Personally, what SR!Mingi did to Y/N was hurtful...and what was more hurtful was him not ever trying to address the elephant in the room after reuniting with Y/N. Y/N shared her more real and personal side of herself, showed vulnerability with him and when she confessed to him, even went out of her way to invite him to an event he would've loved to go to, he panicked and threw it in her face.

Then adding on top of that, Y/N comparing herself to SR!Yeosang and the situation with SR!Wooyoung really showed how still affected she was by what happened with SR!Mingi two years ago. Sure, she can try to bury her feelings for now but what happens when everything just starts filling up inside her until it just bursts when she can't bottle it up anymore? SR!San isn't innocent, not at all. But we know why he's acted the way he's acted. We know his upbringing. And it's not a 100% excuse to push everyone around him away the way he does but it is a factor. He's very much a less well-off counterpart to Y/N and I'm sure with your writing, if you'd put this entire story in his POV, more people would sympathize with him like we do with Y/N.

If not for Y/N's POV, we would've just thought she was a mean bitch without any reasoning as to why she acts the way she acts. We would've thought she was just out to get Boyoung and steal any person she loved and/or cared about. And that's the beauty of this series. I would love to read the final chapter and see how things are resolved, whether the main character ends up with anyone or not.

Have a good day!

hmmmmmmmmmm well i think readers so far consider him irredeemable in terms of ending up with y/n like the focus is more on that rather than him being irredeemable as a person😭

i don't think he's more irredeemable either, i've written him as a complicated character, showed a little bit of his perspective through the bonus parts but the focus is always more on who she should end up with and that it definitely shouldn't be san (which isn't wrong, she deserves better than him no matter what kind of person she was/is)

in the usual trope where boyoung would be our mc, san would definitely be liked as a character because we don't get to see how he treats our sr!mc and we would only see him from boyoung's pov where he's a closed off individual and well idk how they're written in those stories it's been awhile since i've read something like that but he'd basically be the player who has a soft spot for her and goes out of his way to pursue her and even tries to be vulnerable with her or something 😭 he is NOT a bad guy, he's just a person with his bad and good traits

i've said this so many times before but i wrote this story because i wanted to write about the typical mean girl but actually give her some dimension and show san through her eyes. it was never about him falling in love with her instead of boyoung or whether or not they end up together in the end but about their relationship and how it affects a character like her, that's why i brought him back and why i didn't want to wrap up their storyline because the story is literally about THEM and her development through it all. mingi, wooyoung, her parents, brother etc...those are all important plots here but they're side plots.

i think the san bonus parts and e-mails i've posted should be enough to know that there's more to him than he lets on but i can't really do anything for the readers who only see him as y/n's love interest and mingi's "rival" and refuse to look a little deeper into his character 😭😭 (not saying there's something wrong with that, if ppl want to see san as just an asshole then thats fine by me as well but it's just scratching the surface of the whole story)

[foggybear42]

the songs i have on my elody playlist and the lyrics in said songs that remind me of her

this ended up being a very long post so press read more to see the full thing

Alone And Sublime - Mother Mother

Aren't I supposed to wanna fight for love? / And life? / Everything that people say is right? / Am I so wrong to cry only when there's something in my eye? / Am I to die alone and sublime?

I threw a pebble in a stream / And let it go about as easily as love that might prosper / All the things they sing about in gospels. / Am I so awful, to stumble only when I'm walking with another? / Is it a blunder to die alone and sublime?

[aroace elody for the win]

Coming Back to Me - Leith Ross

Last week, I wondered if dying would feel like the stories the Catholic Church told / But I used to talk to my mother about how I just couldn't wait to get old

[also just the general feeling of realising that instead of viewing the world with the child-like wonder that you had as a kid, you now view the world with a sour cynicism]

doomsday - Lizzy Mcalpine

Pull the plug, make it painless / I don't want a violent end / Don't say that you'll always love me / 'Cause you know I'd bleed myself dry for you over and over again

I don't get a choice in the matter / Why would I? It's only the death of me

Eight - Sleeping at Last

I was just a kid who grew up strong enough / To pick this armor up / And suddenly it fit

I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive / And I grew up too quick

When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things / I see the familiar / I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too / Now I'm a broken mirror

I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart / And all I want is to trust you / Show me how to lay my sword down / For long enough to let you through

I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough / To hold the door shut / And bury my innocence

I'ma shake the ground with all my might / And I will pull my whole heart up to the surface / For the innocent, for the vulnerable / And I'll show up on the front lines with a purpose / And I'll give all I have, I'll give my blood, give my sweat / An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken / I'm shattered porcelain, glued back together again / Invincible like I've never been

Hate Yourself - TV Girl

I'd think you'd fall in love with anyone / Who fell in love with you

So take comfort / Cruel comfort / Before you start to wonder / How you got locked inside your room

Do you let them down, gently? / Does it only make it harder? / To let the feeling linger / To drag it out a little longer / Does it put your mind at ease? / But you're the one who brought 'em here / You're the one who has to take them when you leave / And how long will it… / Take? / Before you start to hate yourself

I Guess - Mitski

It's been you and me / Since before I was me / Without you, I don't yet know / Quite how to live

It's still as a pond / I am staring into / From here, I can say / Thank you / From here, I can tell you / Thank you

Inkpot Gods - The Amazing Devil

And what you see is not the dark / It's just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you'll become

And to those gods, I will speak bluntly / "We've an accord, if you ever touch or harm him / Please, rest assured that you might not fear a man / But to a woman, by the end, you'll kneel and plea / 'Cause I'm more than what my mum told me to be"

And I can hear him break / And he doesn't understand / And I wish that I could take his hand / But where I'm going is for me and me alone

If I don't make it back from where I've gone / Just know I loved you all along

Me and My Husband - Mitski

But me and my husband / We're doing better / It's always been just him and me / Together / So I bet all I have on that / Furrowed brow / And at least in this lifetime / We're sticking together / Me and my husband / We're sticking together

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

I drag you to the shore / Sweating through the heat / You're gonna drown in your sleep / For sure / Wake up and start a big fire / In our one room apartment / But I'm too tired / To have a pissing contest

I'm a bad liar / With a savior complex

[i really just hc that elody has a big saviour complex]

Screams and Dreams - Faye

And I guess this is the way it ends / And there's no point in staying friends / And I remember when you told me that you loved me / Little did I know and little did I say / You were over your head and I hadn't yet said / What's true in our heart

So I wish upon a star / And I promise I'll go far / And I close my eyes at once / And I hear a thousand songs

[mostly just added the "wish upon a star" part because it makes me think of fairy tales, and elody is, in fact, a fairy tale herself]

Show You a Body - Haley Heynderickx

I am letting you go / I am letting you go / I am letting you go awry

It was more a mirage / In sickness and health

[all the other lyrics fit elody in a more vibe-y way than a literal way]

Slow Down - Laufey

I wish it would slow down / Even for a second / I'm so old now / Left my adolescence

Think I found somebody / But don't think that it's love

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I had all and then most of you / Some and now none of you / Take me back to the night we met / I don't know what I'm supposed to do / Haunted by the ghost of you / Oh, take me back to the night we met

Two Slow Dancers - Mitski

It's funny how they're all the same / It's funny how you always remember / And we've both done it all a hundred times before / It's funny how I still forgot / It would be a hundred times easier / If we were young again

When - Dodie

I think I've been telling lies / 'Cause I've never been in love

Sure, I'll live in the moment / But I'm never happy here

Memories painted with much brighter ink / They tell me I loved, teach me how to think

I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love / Oh, it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when

[aroace elody for the win pt2]

and here's the playlist itself!! (art by polarsirens)

[letthewhumpbegin]

In the Line of Fire - Shadow and Bone

Fandom: Shadow and Bone, Six of Crows Characters: Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker Prompt: this was written for day 14 of @juneofdoom. Prompt: "What were you thinking?" Word count: 2198 Warnings: contains descriptions of gunshot wound, self-sacrifice (no character death).

A/N: I know this is a day early, but since I am very short on time tomorrow, I've decided to post this already today. Story can also be found on my AO3 and FF.net (you can find me under Thiswouldbeakick on both sites 😉)

GIF by me

The decision was made in a split-second, and actually more instinctively rather than consciously. Everyone would agree it might not have been the smartest thing to do, but bang in the middle of a shootout, one tends not to make the most rational decisions.

That was why Jesper saw only one way to stop the bullet that was now hurtling towards Kaz: get him out of the way before the round could bury itself in the thief's flesh.

"Get down!" Jesper threw himself at Kaz, effectively tackling him to the ground. Kaz groaned audibly as the both of them landed on the ground and he caught Jesper's full weight on his chest. He needed a moment to get his breath back. This had been a very close call, Kaz knew that all too well. But what he heard next, made Kaz realize this situation had just gotten way worse.

"I-- I'm hit..."

Jesper made a feeble attempt to push himself off of Kaz's chest, but couldn't find the strength and slumped back down. Kaz tried to keep it together, despite his discomfort at large parts of his body being in contact with someone else. Something was clearly wrong with Jesper, and the gunslinger wouldn't be helped if Kaz lost it completely.

The way Jesper limply rolled onto the floor as Kaz gently pushed him off of his chest was all the more reason for concern. "Jesper?" Where Kaz's voice never faltered, it did now at the sight in front of him. Jesper lay on his side, whimpering in pain, and a look of indescribable fear on his face. Something Kaz had never seen in the gunslinger before.

"I'm hit..." Jesper repeated, stammering and gasping for breath. Kaz's eyes hastily roamed over his friend's body. He didn't need long to see the bloodstain on the back of Jesper's grey coat. The wound was halfway between Jesper's shoulder blades and oozing blood. Kaz had seen too many injuries in his life already to know Jesper wasn't walking this off. No, this could easily prove fatal.

"Help me." Jesper's voice cracked as he reached a trembling hand out to Kaz's arm, and for once Kaz let him. Kaz vigorously nodded his head. "Hold on, Jes, hold on."

An involuntary cough rocked Jesper's body, and Kaz startled to see Jesper cough up some blood. They needed to move quickly and get Jesper to a Healer as soon as possible. Jesper's gaze found Kaz's face for just a moment, before his eyes rolled back and he passed out.

Kaz scrambled to his feet. Jesper would pull through this, Kaz would do everything in his power to make sure of that. But he couldn't do that alone. No, he needed the help of the only other person in the world he trusted enough.

Kaz took a deep breath and yelled out as loud as he could. "Inej!"

---

The first time Jesper found a tiny bit of consciousness again, there was a flurry of things happening around him. He heard people moving, conversing in low, yet urgent tones, and he felt hands touching his apparently bare shoulders.

With his consciousness slowly returning to him, so did the pain. It was like his back was on fire, leaving him unable to breath in too deeply, and on the verge of screaming out if he moved even the tiniest muscle.

Jesper opened his eyes just enough to see blurrily through his eyelashes. The dimly lit room he found himself in wasn't familiar to him, and neither were the two middle-aged women hurrying around him. Healers, Jesper presumed. At least, he hoped so, because the pain to his back was excruciating and he had never felt so weak as right now.

Jesper whimpered, making a very feeble attempt to move. "Kaz?" His mind, still foggy with only half his consciousness returned to him, suddenly fed him the last images he remembered from before blacking out, and why he had taken a bullet in the first place. "Don't worry about him now." One of the Healers pressed a gentle hand onto Jesper's back, urging him to lie still. But instead of calming him, it only made Jesper more worried and panicked.

"Kaz." His friend's name rolled of Jesper's lips in another half-conscious, frightened whimper. Again those hands trying to be gentle as they held him down. "No..." Jesper moaned. Tears of pain and fear made their way into his eyes. "Kaz... I need to see him. Why won't you tell me if he's alright?"

Jesper was just about to completely lose himself in his fear, when he heard the sound that finally managed to calm him somewhat: the sound of a cane on the wooden floor.

"I'm fine, don't you worry about me." Kaz slowly limped into Jesper's line of sight. He didn't look as composed as usual, but at least he was up and walking. "Let the Healers help you, Jesper."

Jesper finally relaxed, and immediately found himself on the brink of passing out again. He had never before experienced pain like this, and his exertions of just now certainly hadn't made that better. With a last strand of consciousness, Jesper looked past the Healers at Kaz standing a few feet behind them. He stood with both gloved hands resting on his cane, an expression on his face one did not often find there: concern.

Kaz's eyes locked with Jesper's, and he minutely dipped his head once. It was a small movement, but Jesper caught it and knew what it meant. Kaz took care of business, Kaz would take care of him, and whenever he did you were in good hands.

Jesper's muscles lost all their strength as he gave in to the Healers and disappeared into unconsciousness once again.

---

When Jesper awoke again, he immediately knew where he was. Without even opening his eyes, he knew he was back in the Barrel. The sounds and smells were unmistakable and he recognized them out of thousands.

But what he couldn't quite place was the soft surface he lay upon and the warm blankets he felt all around him. One didn't easily find these things in the Barrel, and a twinge of fear settled back in Jesper's chest. Was he really safe right now?

Jesper very slowly opened his eyes. A frown creased his brow as he found himself almost face to face with a golden-colored crow's head. He was about to blame it on the fogginess of his mind, when he realized he was staring at the handle of Kaz's cane, which stood leaning to the side of the bed Jesper found himself in.

Jesper slightly lifted his head off the pillow to look past the crow's head. If his cane was here, Kaz must be, too.

And indeed. He found Kaz sitting, slightly slouched down, in a comfortable chair a few feet beside the bed, fast asleep. One elbow rested on the armrest of the chair, while his hand supported his head as he slept. His face peaceful for once, and his entire body relaxed.

Jesper blinked sluggishly a few times. He had never actually seen Kaz asleep before, and the sight was strangely off to him. There had been rumors going around the Barrel for years that Dirtyhands never slept. Jesper was never quite able to prove those rumors wrong, although he was rational enough to know they couldn't be true, but he now had to unequivocally conclude that Kaz slept just like anyone else.

But was Kaz alright? Jesper could see the slow rise and fall of his chest, so he didn't really look on the brink of death, but Jesper still worried. Kaz was a star at hiding the things that bothered him, especially when it came to injuries. Jesper only vaguely remembered Kaz ensuring him he was alright back at the Healer's, but he needed confirmation on that again.

"Kaz..." Jesper mumbled as loud as he could get his voice after it not being used in a while. Kaz didn't even stir. "K-Kaz." Jesper slightly moved and he instantly felt the searing pain between his shoulder blades from where he had been shot. He winced loudly, his hands tightly gripping the edge of the bed. In his somewhat uncontrolled movement, Jesper knocked over Kaz's cane, which fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

Kaz nearly jumped a foot into the air, waking abruptly with a gasp he did his best to suppress. He looked around in confusion for a moment, before he locked eyes with Jesper. They held each other's gaze, until Kaz bent down to pick up his cane off the floor. He set it in front of the chair he sat on, resting both hands on the handle.

"Welcome back," Kaz finally spoke. "Tell me you're alright." Jesper demanded before Kaz could say anything else. His voice was still croaky and hoarse, but Jesper couldn't care less about that now. All he wanted was real confirmation that Kaz had come out of the shootout unscathed.

"I already told you." Kaz's spoke flatly, brow creasing into a frown. "I know you, Kaz," Jesper mumbled weakly, "you hide any injuries you have when one of us is injured. You want us to be alright before you even begin to think about yourself." Kaz shifted uncomfortably in his chair, the wood creaking softly as his muscles tensed. "How do you know?" "You're not the only one making observations," Jesper answered, "so tell me, truthfully, are you alright?" Kaz nodded sincerely. "Yes." Jesper sighed in relief. Kaz wasn't hurt, so at least he hadn't taken a bullet for nothing.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air for a short while. Even though he was only half awake, Jesper effortlessly sensed Kaz had something he wanted to speak about. The thief sat staring at his own hands resting on his cane in front of him. A hard, yet unreadable look on his face. Jesper knew that look. It meant Kaz's brain was working overtime, and Jesper could easily deduce that would have something to do with the events of the shootout.

Finally, Jesper had had enough. "Just speak whatever's on your mind," he sighed. Kaz's gaze flickered onto Jesper, but the expression on his face didn't change. "What were you thinking?" Kaz spoke softly, but his tone was unforgiving. "When?" Jesper answered sarcastically, "I have many thoughts." "Don't take me for a fool, Jes." For a heartbeat Dirtyhands surfaced, before Kaz's expression immediately softened a little again. "I know you threw yourself in front of that bullet. And I also know that, if you hadn't, it would have struck me." "It would have killed you," Jesper corrected. Kaz slightly cocked his head to one side, mulling those words over. "And instead it nearly killed you."

Jesper was caught off guard by that comeback and hesitated before he spoke again. "Well, maybe... I didn't entirely think it through." "Why do it at all?" Kaz shrugged non-understandingly. "Half of Ketterdam would be celebrating my death." Jesper chuckled softly, before his tone turned very serious. "Kaz, I... I know you don't give a kruge about yourself, and many people would indeed rather see you dead, but there's also still people out there that do care about you... I care about you."

The usual frown on Kaz's brow deepened even further. His lips parted slightly and he took a breath as if he meant to say something, but finally settled upon just a deep exhale. "Just-- don't ever do that again," Kaz eventually spoke. A small smile tugged at the corner of Jesper's mouth. "Sure, boss."

Jesper shifted minutely under his covers. His back ached uncomfortably. The Healers had healed the wound, but his body still had a lot of recovering to do. He felt fatigued, out of strength, and like he could sleep for days on end. Apparently, Kaz had seen it, too. "I'll leave you to get more rest," he said solemnly.

Jesper watched Kaz slowly get to his feet. He couldn't help but notice how Kaz winced at the seemingly extreme stiffness in his bad leg, and how he leaned on his cane even heavier than usual.

"Exactly how long have you been sitting at my bedside?" Jesper frowned suspiciously. "You've been out for over a day, so..." Kaz admitted reluctantly, "more than a day." Jesper blinked a few times in surprise. Not only for hearing he had apparently been unconscious for more than a day, but more so that Kaz had refused to leave his side all that time.

Kaz walked a few paces, before looking back over his shoulder, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a smirk playing on his lips. "You're not the only one who needs to make sure their friend is alright." Jesper chuckled. A pleasant warmth settled in his chest at seeing this side of Kaz. It was rarely glimpsed, but there definitively was a sensitive side to him after all.

"Thank you," Jesper said sincerely, "for helping me." "Don't get used to it," Kaz answered with a grin. And Jesper immediately knew: if it ever came to it again, Kaz would help him no matter what.

Useful Links Section | Writing Masterlist Make a request from my prompts list

[cowandcalf]

McDanno WIP

Still going strong and writing for my McDanno WIP ‘Be Your Very Best At The Darkest Time’ (Soul Swap AU). By the way, I changed my mind about parting the story. I’ll pack everything into one long, wonderful story. My amazing friend with whom I survived three NaNos already, still reads my daily part I’m writing, and she said, how would the story end if I wanted to get my story out for the boys and not what I think should happen because it’s more according what people read? I was so surprised by that question but it’s the best advice I could get.

And by the way, I love how the H50 fandom and the love for McDanno is reviving! So many new posts are floating around, so many new fans are head over heels in love with McDanno. This is so fantastic!

A snipet of my WIP:

"Jesus, Mary. You didn't do anything wrong." Steve chokes out in shock. He has reached his limits of holding it together. Danny can tell. He breaks silently in Mary's arms. His shoulder shook with the pain he tries to push down again. Steve fights to stay strong for Mary. "I'm so sorry, Mary. I never meant to hurt you." He is about to pull back. "Not this time, Punk, you don't pull away when it gets difficult. Cry with me." Mary moves closer to Steve, face buried in his shoulder. She doesn't let Steve pull away and Danny watches how Mary shuffles on her knees closer to Steve. She clambers awkwardly into her brother's lap without taking her arms off his neck. Steve holds her like an injured bird. "What are you doing?" He looks completely taken aback. His arms are full of a tired Mary and it looks like she wants to crawl inside him. She doesn't care if she knees him in the thigh. She shifts around on Steve's legs ignoring his silent 'oofs' and grunts when her pointy elbows poke him in the chest and her scrawny butt, parked now on Steve's sore muscles, makes him twitch. "You haven't – haven't done that since you were a little girl, not more than five years old. It's a little bit . . . you know, you're so much bigger now." "Just let me. I need this." Mary sighs exhaustedly but is also more at peace with the situation. "You have it. I'm here, Mare, okay? I mean it when I say it." Steve's eyes drift over to Danny and with a pleading look, he begs for advice. He looks like he has no clue how to feel about a grown Mary in his lap. Danny signs him to wrap his arms all around Mary and rock her gently. Steve talks with his eyebrows and signals Danny to step closer but he does as told and circles his arms around Mary's fragile body. Danny bites back the grin that threatens to bloom on his lips. Steve is not yet super comfortable with the closeness but Mary doesn't pay zero attention to his discomfort. She forces tenderness and physical contact on him, tearing through any defense technic her brother has developed over the years. For Danny, she means a little wonder how she doesn't fuss over Steve's strict policy to keep the game face on even when emotions threaten to bring him down. She's in need of the protection and power her older brother stands for. And she desperately needs tender human contact. Danny comes to sit on the edge of the mattress. "Mary, don't get spooked, I'm sitting right behind you, okay? It's me, Danny. Can you remember me?" He asks in a soft voice while his eyes are trained on Steve and mouths at him 'hug her – hold her'. He sees the tear tracks on Steve's face and as difficult as the background of this reunion is, Danny sees the love almost as a golden light blossoming between Mary and Steve. Something deep that has been stored away for far too long is unfolding.

Share your WIPs guys. I’d love to read some of your works in progress. If you like of course and feel free to skip it. McDanno is eternal.

@goneahead @stephmcx @mcdannoangelwolf @merlin-wolfgang-trades-hale @murphyhatesme @too-much-in-my-brain and for sure I forgot some of you guys, but feel free to share too!

[sketchyfletch]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @feralkwe (thank you!)

How many works do you have on AO3?

11. I also have various ones scattered on ff.net, as well as lost to time on livejournal and a graveyard on my googledrive. 

What’s your total AO3 word count?

77246. In terms of fic writing output, I’m one of those little pilot fish that hangs around friendly sharks. 

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Dragon Age and the Arcana mobile game. I want to write more Mass Effect and I’ve done a Yasmin/Thirteen Dr Who ficlet. I used to write a lot of stuff for Naruto in my teens. 

What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Little Tender Loving Care - Arcana. Smut. Giving Nadia a massage. 

A Little Stronger You Thought - Arcana. A sparring practice with Nadia gets a bit hot and sweaty. Not actually smut this time. 

Won’t You Cleanse My Soul - Arcana. And we’re back to Smut. The bathroom scene taken to a conclusion not in the game. 

Not So Clean - Mass Effect. Smut again! Shepard and Traynor share a shower. 

Alone At Last - Dr Who. After Ryan and Graham leave the TARDIS, Yasmin and Thirteen finally push past a barrier in their friendship. 

Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I didn’t used to, but I love giving energy back to the people who took the time to write. 

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Back in my ff.net days, Leliana grieving after losing the Warden to the Ultimate Sacrifice. It implies Leliana dying as well. The angiest one on AO3 is Let it All Out, with Hawke spilling her guts to Leliana over everything that’s happened since they last saw each other in Lothering.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Alone At Last. Most of my one shots have a happy ending but this in particular. 

Do you get hate on fics? 

I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid it, although I have had a couple of ‘helpful’ comments telling me what I should do with the characters next (which is a guaranteed way to make me go in the opposite direction, not least so the commenter can’t claim credit for the idea). 

Do you write smut?

Cough. See above. 

Do you write crossovers?

I sort of am between Dragon Age games as I like bringing characters from one game and putting them in the setting of another. I’ve also been picking at a ‘Shepard crash lands on the Wounded Coast’ fic which I’m not sure will ever see the light of day. 

Have you had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve co-written a lot of storylines on forums, some of which have sprung out into me working on fics separately, but not collaborated on a fanfic before. 

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That’s a tough one. I adore Isabela/F Hawke, and ship Leliana very specifically with my jabby Siali Tabris, but if I was to pick one it would be Korra/Asami. When the first season of Korra came out I made a post on tumblr commenting on the chemistry between the two and really liking the idea of them together, but stating that the network would never, ever let it happen. (Child of the mid-2000’s ‘bury your gays’ wars here.) Having it come true was huge from a cultural standpoint, and I remember sitting at the computer sobbing my eyes out at the finale. It was so important to me so for that reason, I think they’ll always been my OTP even if I never write a fic for them. 

Which now I want to. Dammit. 

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really, really want to write more of Aliyah Hawke’s story. I love DA2 but Hawke as a protagonist never grabbed me by the brainstem in the way my Warden and Inquisitor did. I want to build her up some more. She has five chapters up on AO3 and I want to save her from the ashes. 

What are your writing strengths?

I’m told I’m good at distinctive character voices. I like to switch around POVs a lot during fics to give different perspectives on familiar scenes, and the way I write inner monologues is very specific to the character who is the focal point at that time. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m not an especially funny writer. Some people have a real knack for turns of phrase that leave you rolling on the floor, and sadly I am not one of those people. 

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done this a lot as Nicolette is either Orlesian or French depending on what world she’s inhabiting at the point I’m writing her, and in reference to her faceclaim also has Indian/Rivaini ancestry, so I’d sprinkle her speech with bits of whatever her mother tongue is. I’ve learned to be increasingly careful about this because a) a lot of free translation tools are absolute arse and b) context is very important. 

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I’m actually currently writing it. ‘I Cannot Fly, So Let Me Sing’ started as a joke of me taking my very pacifist wandering minstrel character who I have been playing for years and playing with the canon like a ball of yarn until I could justify making her Inquisitor. It has been great working her into the story and also trying to weave in other character POVs, but I am currently taking a bit of a break as I have two bridging/important infodump chapters to write before I can move onto the next bit and I am STUCK. 

Tagging @shenaniginstigations, @aithne and @zombolouge

[verbosebabbler]

I feel that I need to stop and write a post for the end of season 4, since there is a big status quo shift starting the next season. I really didn't end up writing anything about the spoilers below, just focusing on the Fear system.

Let's see if I can now write the 15 fears by memory, names may vary because why not also not have definitive names for a completely new categorization system.

Desolation Death Stranger Spiral Corruption Buried Vast Web Slaughter Flesh Lonely Darkness Eye Hunt Extinction

Ok, I can manage it, though slaughter and below were like pulling teeth from my memory for some reason. But it'll get easier with time. My memory isn't great without little reminders, but usually I can remember them in groups. Sure, why don't I group them. I had done it before when my only understanding was from the wiki. Because of how the fears tangle there will be multiple uses of each fear.

To start with are the pairs of opposites I can think of: Vast and Buried, of large or enclosed spaces Eye and Darkness, of the seen and not seen Eye and Spiral, of truth and falsehood Web and Lonely, of connection and disconnection

Then there's the large group of destructive sorts of fears Death, Desolation, Slaughter, Corruption, Extinction: • Death is specifically about an end of a person most usually • Desolation is the destruction of anything of worth or meaning, which can be a loved one. • Extinction is the apocalypse. Very associated with both End of life and with the Desolation of everything. • Slaughter is unimaginable violence which often results in a lot of death • Corruption has plenty of associations but the one relevant to this group is its connection to decay and rot.

Then there's a group that I associate with more primal fears Hunt, Slaughter, Flesh: • Hunt being the most primal of them all, the chase of predator and prey. • Slaughter is related to violence and feels connected to the predator part of the hunt, that hunger for the catch. • Flesh is related to the acknowledgement that people, like animals, are just meat and can be eaten and easily relates to the prey part of hunt. --Could also include the Death of the prey, the Darkness in which both predator and prey can hide, but for some reason my mind doesn't group them in here.

It's hard to articulate, but then there are fears that play or rely upon our perception of understanding of what things are. Eye, Stranger, Spiral: • Eye is the fear of being watched, of secrets revealed. It's the fear of being known • Stranger is the fear of the uncanny, of something being not quite right. It requires a base understanding of what something is, in order to fear what it's not supposed to be. • Spiral is the fear of confusion and deceit. Fundamentally, it is of misunderstanding. Of wrong or incorrect knowledge. --Of note, zampaniosim also uses corruption abstractly for the eroding of information. "The rot takes all in the end." Like corrupted data and link rot. So it would likely be partially grouped here.

There's also some looser. • Vast fear cases are likely going to coincide with Lonely. • Corruption or Web could both be associated with spiders. • Spiral and Corruption are an weird duo that is really hard for me to explain, though this is zampaniosim specific. 

I think I will need to make a larger separate post on corruption. I went off on an unrelated tangent to how overbroad corruption is, made even broader in zampaniosim. Seriously, trying to list out and separate all of the ideas that are getting lumped in to corruption is taxing on my energy and sanity.

But one thing that still puzzles me is, where are fractals in all this?? It's not brought up a lot in TMA: there's a story of a guy getting obsessed with them thinking they had secret knowledge of the universe, and there was an offhand mention of that web artifact table not being like the fractals. It felt like a setup to something then but maybe it was just a reference or just dropped. I only mention because both fractals and the idea of obsession that story had are a strong reoccurring element in zampaniosim and I think it made me believe it'd be a bigger deal here than it was. But now I'm not sure which fear that story was associated with.

I'm done typing for now. On to season 5, and then... My podcast app lists the Magnus Protocol as season 7? Was season 6 all the non Magnus extras in between? I've been skipping the extras and was going to go back to some later (like Duskhollow, which is relevant to zampaniosim). Eh, I'll figure that out when I finish season 5.

[togrowoldinv]

Her Hero

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

When your daughter says she wants to be like Natasha when she grows up, Nat has a hard time believing that’s a good thing. You are there to assure her that it is.

Note: This is mostly me just wishing that people in the MCU would have told Natasha more how amazing she is and how much she is valued. My college courses start tomorrow, so I will probably be posting less during the week but I am going to try to keep writing as much as I can. I hope you enjoy this one!

Masterlist

“Hey Mama?” You and Nat hear from the backseat. You had picked your daughter up from school and were listening to music in the car on the way home.

You reach to turn down the music and Nat looks her in the rearview mirror.

“Yes, detka?” Nat responds to Ali.

“We talked about what we want to be when we grow up at school today,” Ali explains.

“Oh yeah? That sounds interesting,” Nat says with a soft smile. One that she reserves for speaking to you and your children.

“I want to be an Avenger!” Ali says excitedly from the backseat.

“You can be anything you want to be, baby,” you reply.

“I want to be like Mama!” Ali says and you can’t help but smile at that.

You look at Nat and you see her jaw clinch just briefly before she hides it with a slight nod. Ali drops the conversation for now, her focus shifting to the buildings you pass as you drive down the road.

Later that night, you enter your bedroom to see Natasha already laying down under the covers. She’s been quiet all night since the conversation in the car.

“She’s finally asleep. That kid can really squeak a lot of stories out of me,” you say with a laugh. And Nat just hums in response.

You get ready for bed and crawl next to her. When she doesn’t turn over and pull you into her embrace, it solidifies your worries that she’s upset about earlier.

“Hey Nat, are you alright?” You ask her, touching her shoulder gently.

“Hmm, oh yeah, I’m okay y/n. Just tired,” she replies quietly. To anyone else, her voice may have sounded normal, but you could hear the buried worry etched into her cadence.

“Natasha,” you try to get her attention. “Can you look at me?”

She turns slightly to face you and you look her face over. Her eyes are slightly red rimmed and puffy. The usual sublime smile that her lips curl into at the sight of you is missing and in it’s place is a neutral line of your wife’s lips.

You move your hand to softly graze her cheek and she closes her eyes at your touch, leaning into your warmth.

“My love, what’s going on?” You whisper ever so quietly. Her eyes open again and their green color is accented with deep emotion. Tears begin to form in her eyes.

“What Ali said today,” she begins and you nod encouragingly. “She can’t be like me. I don’t want her to be like me. I’m not someone a child should ever want to be.” She says the words so quietly, so self consciously.

“Nat-“ you try but she interrupts you.

“I’m not a good person, y/n. She can’t be like me,” she repeats and your heart sinks. She sits up to lean against the headboard. You follow in suit.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, Natasha, but I think you need to. You, my love, are an amazing person. One of the best, no actually, the best person I have ever met,” you explain.

“No,” Nat says defiantly, her arms crossed at her chest.

“Yes. I do want Ali to grow up to be like you. That means she’ll be a loving, determined, passionate, empathetic woman,” you explain and she shakes her head.

“But the things I’ve done, y/n,” Nat says.

“Natasha, you are not defined by that. Who you are is not what you did. You were put in an impossible situation and you had to learn how to survive,” you plead for her to listen to your words.

“And despite everything, you found a way to live and to love. You found a way to love me. And to love our daughter. You are such a wonderful woman,” you still aren’t sure if she believes your words, but she uncrosses her arms and in turn opens herself up to you again.

“I’m sorry for shutting down on you,” Natasha says after a few moments of silence.

“It’s okay, baby. As long as you hear what I’m saying now,” you ease her worries.

“I hear you. Not sure if I believe it all, but you made some decent points. I certainly love you and Ali more than I ever thought I would be capable of loving anyone,” Natasha says, her voice thick with honesty.

She scoots closer to you and leans her head onto your shoulder. You wrap your arm around her waist and pull her as close as possible. Your cheek brushes against hers.

“You’re her hero, Natasha. That’s why she wants to be like you,” you tell her.

“Well I may be her hero, but so are you. We’re co-heroes,” Natasha says and you both laugh. You relish in the sound of her deep chuckle.

She turns her head and you two are so close that her nose brushes yours.

“Y/n, you are my hero,” Natasha says more seriously and your heart warms. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Thank you for loving me,” you reply and she smiles as she leans in for a kiss, whispering an I love you too before her lips connect with yours.

[shigarakis-cumdump]

An Unhealthy Obsession- Shigaraki x reader

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shigarakiscumdump/works

(If you like what you read, consider supporting me on Ao3!)

Summary: Short yandere fic based off the song “An Unhealthy Obsession,” by The Blake Robinson Synth. Orchestra. 

Cw: yandere and stalker tendencies

Word count: 1.9k 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*..✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Many people would call Shigarki the creepy type if they saw him on the street. Slouched over, face always buried in his phone with his hoodie covering the rest. He looked like your local creep who hung around popular stores and malls by himself. He would go to one mall in particular, even more so after he realized they had a Game Stop there. He would frequently go in to browse, and while he was checking out one day, he met you behind the counter.

“Will this be all?” you ask in your sweet customer service voice, with your head slightly tilted. Shigaraki froze in place. No one this pretty has ever talked to him before.

“Um, yeah, that’s all.” he says quickly, looking down to the ground while you're bagging his games.

“This one’s my favorite; I’ve been playing non-stop since it came out, have fun with it!” you say as you hand the bag back. And you play games? Could it get any more perfect?!

“Thanks,” he managed before walking out of the store and finding the closest bathroom. He locked the stall door and sat down. With his heartbeat in his cock, he couldn’t stop thinking of how innocent your voice sounded, and how pretty you looked. He decided from then on you were his next obsession.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigaraki visited the store so often he learned your schedule. He would watch others make small talk with you, and it made him want to steal you for himself. His blood boiled when someone else would make you laugh. Soon enough, seeing you at your work wasn’t enough. He wanted to know more about you. So he followed you home one day. He kept his distance, being too scared of appearing creepy to people around him. You lived a few blocks away from him, who knew!This made it very easy for Shigaraki to stake out across the street and just watch you for hours. You always kept your windows open, maybe for the natural light? He appreciated it though; in his eyes, you left your blinds open for him. So he could watch as you dance around your room with your dog, and then relax and watch tv, hugging a pillow as you accidentally fall asleep. You were precious, and he realized all you wanted, all you needed, was someone like him to cuddle up into, to make sure you were safe. After all, there were too many creeps who could hurt you- he was just making sure they didn't get to you.

Shigaraki made it back to his place, but you never left his head. He went from sitting in the bushes, to sitting hunched over his desk, looking up your name on every search engine imaginable. “Bingo!” he says once he finds your socials. He scrolls down your page, seeing your stories about going to conventions earlier in the summer, spending time with your friends and- oh? What’s this? You were hugging a boy in this picture. Shigaraki zoomed in to get a good look at his face. “Why would you want a bastard like him?” he grunted angrily. He clicked on his profile and saw a post of you two eating at “your favorite restaurant” together for his birthday. The post was from the beginning of this year, so maybe you weren’t still with the guy. I mean Shigaraki didn’t see anyone while he was stalking you, which was a good sign.

Over time, his camera roll would fill up with screenshots of you off of your profile, shaky pictures he snapped of you while you were working, etc. He was in the store just when you worked now, because any other time he was following paces behind you to wherever your pretty feet were taking you. Stepping up to the counter with a few games, you began checking him out. His voice low and quiet as he asked, “Do you play games often?”

“Oh sure! Whenever I have free time, really. But lately I’ve been too busy. We should totally play together sometime!” you beam. Play together? He wanted to do a lot more than that .

“C-Cool, then I’ll see you through a screen next time,” Shigaraki scratches his neck awkwardly. You give him that practiced smile you show to all the customers. “Oh, what time do you get out?” he asks, and you give him a confused look. “S-so I know when to hop on! Just in case..” he drifts off, trying to keep cool. You tell him around 8, and he leaves. That’s perfect. Gives him just enough time to run some errands.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigaraki went to the hardware store and got the smallest cameras he would find. He hurried over to your place, and prayed the key was still under the rug where you left it. And it was! He unlocked your door, and your small dog ran up to him, jumping on his leg. “You’re a friendly little guy, aren’t you?” he says, leaning down to pet the dog. Don’t get distracted ! He reminded himself. He began by setting a few cameras up in your room, one facing each corner. This gave him a perfect view of your bed, desk, and closet. While he was in there, he picked up a piece of thin red fabric off the ground. He inhaled deeply, to smell a sweet and salty scent. He shoved them into his pockets for later, and finished placing the cameras.

Back out in the living room, your dog was following him around. Shigaraki knelt down and gave him a pat. He read the dog's collar; apparently his name was Shiro. Cute. “You want something, Shiro? You need some food?” he asked, looking around for his dog dish. He found it and filled it up and then sat on the couch. He took your panties out of his pocket, giving them another whiff. The smell shot straight down to his groin, heating him up. He pulled his phone out and went to his album just for you and scrolled through the pictures. He loved you so dearly, and one day you would know just how much he cherished you. He played back the small interactions the two of you had, and all the memories you’d have together in the future. He palmed his hardening cock, head leaning back on the couch.

It was 6:30, he still had a few more hours before you were back. He revealed his dick from his sweatpants, his tip leaking pre. He put your red panties in his hand, and started to jerk himself off- the soft lace brushing against the underside of his dick. His breathing became hitched and sporadic at the thought of you underneath him making the same noises. No, he wasn’t experienced, but you would teach him everything he needed to know!

“Y/N… god you’re so tight..” he groaned. His hips thrusting up into you as you let out lewd noises for him. He grabbed your face and whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“God please- fuck, I’m close, Shiggy!” you whined under him, twitching with your back arched and a tit in his mouth. The thoughts that filled his mind went directly to his cock. Shigaraki humped his hand, wishing it could be you, waiting for when it was you. Maybe you’d even fuck on this couch, who knows. He quickly finished and made sure to leave nothing behind before heading out and staking out behind the bushes again.

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You throw yourself on the couch as always, sitting where he sat just an hour ago. You made yourself some tea as you turned the tv on. It wasn’t too late, meaning Shigaraki could watch you for a bit.

A little later, you make yourself dinner. You take the trash out and leave it by the road. Shigaraki, being the weirdo he is, makes his way across the street, dangerously close to your front window, to snoop through your trash. There had to be something good in there. . He rummaged through your trash to find empty take out containers, some paper, and- chapstick? He wasn’t big on using it himself, but if it was yours, it was automatically going on his lips. He thought of it like an indirect kiss from his one and only. It had a taste of sweet strawberries, probably what you would taste like if he ever had the chance to kiss you. One day, he keeps telling himself. He pulls out his phone to check your room cameras and he sees you starting up your pc. Right! You asked to game with him earlier!  Shigaraki raced back home to load his game, praying he would find you in one of the local servers. There was FlameThrower2050 , TheRadicalDude , SuckItRight , and Shiro’sCloud online. You had to be the last one. He shot you a direct message, asking if you were up for a game, and you said yes. You actually said yes! Of course, you didn’t know it was him. You went into a private lobby and you turned on your headset. “Hey, can you hear me?” you asked innocently. Your pure voice went right through his heart. “Uh yeah, you sound great,” he blurts out. “Oh, Shigaraki?” you remembered his name?! This left him ecstatic. The game starts and you play a few rounds, Shigaraki being in heaven. You ended up beating him. In every. Single. Round. A bit embarrassing for him, but you laughed it off and didn’t make fun of him for it. Oddly, that stuck with him. You were so nice the whole time- he couldn’t wait to talk to you at work tomorrow!

It was getting late, which is why you had to go, which also meant Shigaraki got to watch you on the cameras. He pulled out his phone, switching to the view of your bed. You crawled in with just panties and an oversized shirt on, how cute. You scrolled on your phone for a little, until it dropped on your chest and you fell asleep. Your phone battery is gunna die, silly… Shigaraki thinks to himself. He could always go over and plug it in for you. No! That was too dangerous!! What if you wake up when he’s standing over you? Certainly that’s not a good impression to leave. He argues with himself for a bit before he’s out of the house, running down the street. His feet carry him all the way back to your place. He grabs the key and goes for the door. It was unlocked. You left it unlocked for him? How nice of you! He sneaks in and Shiro is quick to jump on him. Shiro took quite a liking to him. He tiptoed over to your room, looking at your sleeping body through the door crack. He opened the door slightly, going in and looming over you. He pried the phone from out of your hands and plugged it in for you. You would thank him later; tomorrow! When you’d see him next. Shigaraki zoned out, watching you sleep soundly for a good hour, stealing pictures of you while you were snoring, and getting a quick sniff of your hair. He had stayed there a lot longer than intended, the sun starting to rise. He snuck out of your room and locked the door on his way out.

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“Oh, hey!” Shigaraki hears your pleasant voice call out to him from the counter. “Last night was a lot of fun; how about we play again tonight?” you ask him. He immediately says yes, his heart doing flips in his chest. This was the start of something good.

[kyovtani]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

[ banner source ]

[hereforhalstead]

Pizza and A Pack of Beers

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: Yessss by my bestie who takes up 80% of my requests and i absolutely love her for it lmao @halsteadlover​

Hiiii bestie so you know what I'm about to ask you soooo pleaseeeeee write about jealous Jay turning up at your place after Kim set you up on a date with someone from med like I KNOW FOR A FACT you'd write it PERFECTLY 😩😩😩😩😩 can't wait to read it

Love you lots don't hate me lol xx 💞

• Warnings: Swearing

• Summary: Kim sets you up on a date but it doesn’t go well and there’s only one person you wish would turn up at your door to comfort you but when he does you don’t expect him to tell you everything you’ve always wanted him to say.

• Words: 6089.

• A/N : thank you so much for 500 followers!! You have no idea how happy this platform makes me and how I don’t feel I deserve this at all but I appreciate each and every one of you for putting up with me! I’ know I promised some jealous jay which this is slightly but im so weak for soft Jay at the moment.. hope this lives up to your expectations bestie, if it doesn’t dont kill me and i apologise for the title, i couldn’t think of a good one lmao. Also, I have about 5 other requests on the go at the moment which I’ll be posting one at the weekend. I’m not ignoring them, I promise I’m working on them but I just want to make sure they’re right before they’re posted.

Hope you enjoy!

***

“Y/N?” Adam calls out from the other side of the room “you coming Molly’s? Kev’s buying” he remarks but the displeased look on Atwaters face tells a different story “Uh, no he is not”. You chuckle but shake your head, checking to see who’s around with a slight relief it was just the 3 of you as the others were in the lockeroom grabbing their stuff. 

“I can’t, enjoy though” you chime, shutting the drawers in your desk and tossing the key to Adam who looks back at you confused “Is this because Kev said he wasn’t buying?” he raises his brows to Atwater who holds his hands up in defence “Don’t look at me bro, you ain’t gonna get round me”.

You roll your eyes at the pair and groan “I have a date, alright?”you confess and their eyes widen at your comment “Like a date, date?” Adam probes “What other kind of dates are there?” you mock, grabbing your coat from the back of your chair before placing it over your arm.

 “With who?” Kevin interupts, reminding you how grateful you were it was just the 3 of you as god knows how much this unit loves a gossip. 

“Halstead?” Adam asks and you scoff “Yeah right, he wishes” you remark but they stand stern before you as you knit your brows in hesitancy “What? Kim set me up with some doctor from Med” you innocently question, Kevin runs his hand along his jawline as he smirks “You two confuse me, I swear you’re like obsessed with each other yet neither of you will do anything about it?”. 

You find yourself speechless at his answer as you never realized how much people had caught on. You and Jay had been partners since the beginning, Voight teaming you up to be ‘good cop, bad cop’ on a mission and years later here you were.

Surely the little added extras just came with how close you had to be in the job, right? Knowing one an other better than you know yourself, being able to reel off their coffee order without having to think twice, the pang of worry you feel when things start to go south were all just natural, surely?

You can’t say you hadn’t let your mind wander to the thought of you and Jay being more. The way you catch him looking at you sometimes as you bury yourself in paperwork, his late night calls to make sure you got home safe from a night out, offering you a place to stay if you’d worked too late and he didn’t want you to be alone.

You’d become so accustom to it at this point that you didn’t think twice about the little guestures but clearly others had. If there was something you’d learnt quickly in this job it was that word travels fast and something doesnt stay a secret for long, you only dread the conversations they’ve had about you and Jay behind your back and wonder if he’s thinking the same. 

You shrug Kevin’s comments off as they stand waiting for you to give your usual witty response “His loss” you scorn, earning an sharp intake of breath from the pair as Adam brings a fist to his mouth to laugh

 “Does he know about this little date you’ve got?” he asks but before you can respond, the man himself and Kim stroll into the room and you slightly swear under your breath that you hadn’t left sooner. 

“Everyone coming?” Kim asks and you brace yourself for how Kevin and Adam are going to land you in it but to your surprise, neither of them do. “Y/N said she’ll join us later” Adam speaks for you to which you nudge his arm after saying no such thing

 “You want me to tell Halstead you got a date?” he mumbles and you roll your eyes “Exactly” he sarcastically smiles before turning back to the others. 

“Why you not going now?” Jay asks and you stutter your words before Kevin interjects “She’s got female stuff to deal with man, leave it at that” he comments and you internally want to give him a punch to the shoulder at the thought he really couldn’t come up with anything better. 

“Everything okay?” Jay probes, slight hint of worry in his tone but you’re yet again spoken for by Adam “She’s all good man” he assures and Jay chuckles “She can’t speak for herself?”. You make your way in front of your two new apparent bodyguards and catch the look as Kim finally twigs onto why you’re not joining them in Molly’s

“Oh yeah, she’s just got other plans” she sends a wink in your direction and you laugh at the fact you still actually haven’t said a word considering you were the one being questioned.

“I’ll see you later” you comment, turning to head down the stairs of the district but not before Adam can get one more quip in as you leave “Don’t do anything I wouldn't do!” he calls out, clearly already forgetting the ‘female stuff’ reason they gave.

You can already see the glare Jay shoots him, he hates not being in the know about something and especially if it came to you and it was even worse if he was being lied to about it. Despite this, something deep down told you it was for the best he didn’t know about your date.

You can hear them all cackling at your expense behind you so you decided to have the last laugh at Adams clever comment “Doesn’t leave me with much does it Ruzek?” you hear them ‘ooo’ at your come back, followed by a “oh, come on” groan from Adam which confirms you’d won. 

**

You sat at the table, running your fingertip along the top of your wine glass as you listened to the man opposite groan about his neighbours and the dog that barks in the middle of the night. Struggling to remember the last time you opened your mouth to speak, let alone him trying to engage you in the conversation.

Your mind wandered over to the group at Molly’s, picturing how Adam would be ordering another round of shots and despite the moaning everyone would cheer as he goes to grab another tray.

There’d be some deep conversations going on about things that had gone wrong throughout the week, encouraged by a few drinks as the heart felt stories pour out.

Most importantly all you could think of was your partner sat there without you by his side. Your stupid smug face partner who would constantly piss you off to the brink of wanting to murder but, he always knew how to get back on your good side with the mischievous glint in his eye everytime. He was your partner and most importantly, he wasn’t the man sitting opposite you. 

At this point, thinking about what you needed on your next trip to the grocery store was what was keeping you sane and not falling asleep in your meal. Your favoritie meal wasn’t even appealing to you anymore, pushing the carbs around with your fork as you winced at the sound of the fork occasionally scraping the plate.

If someone paid you 100 bucks you couldn’t say what he was currently complaining about and you’re surprised how he hasn’t picked up on the fact your mind was a million miles away. 

“Everything okay with the meal?” you jolt out of your thoughts as the waiter approaches to clear your plates, looking down embarrassed at the pitiful attempt you’d made at finishing the dish.

“Lovely thank you but I’m just too full” you remark, taking the final sip of your drink and also handing the glass to the water “Just the bill please” you add to the surprise of your date, Brad who looked at you confused. 

“Wrapping this up so soon?” he mocks, raised brows to match his tone as he also finishes his drink.

“Just not feeling great” you lie, thinking it would be the easiest excuse to leave early but he wasn’t having it as he shrugged “Come back to mine and I’ll look after you”.

Well, if you didn’t feel ill before you did now, the smugness drawn across his face sends shivers down your spine and not in a good way. He’d spoken about nothing but himself all evening and now he expects you to go back to his place even though you’d just said you don’t feel well? 

“I’m fine thanks” you decline, grateful for the bill being placed between the pair of you as the waiter returns. “Will we be splitting it this evening?” he innocently asks, Brad confidently slamming his card onto the table before you can even reach your purse with a cocky remark “There’s more than enough on there to cover this, big man”. You offered a weak smile, containing the internal scoff you so badly wanted to let out but covered your mouth with your hand to stop yourself.

 The waiter looks down at you, subtle eye roll as you let out a sigh “Have a good evening” he offers, quick to turn and leave the pair of you sat in silence as you make the first move to leave.

Standing and pushing your chair under the table to which he soon follows, holding his arm out to allow you to walk in front of him. The hairs on the back of your neck stand as you feel his gaze piercing into your lower back, the instant regret of wearing such a skin tight dress loomed as you finally made it outside the restaurant.

“I’m gonna call a cab to take me home” you distract yourself by loading the app on your phone but he chuckles “Oh, so you’re really not coming back to mine?” he slurs, luckily not facing you as you’re unable to withhold the look of disgust at his continuous comments and clearly not getting the hint. 

You flinch as a hand presses against your back, feeling him breathing down on you and instantly wanting to heave from the smell of booze on his breath as he speaks “Come on pretty girl, I’ll make you feel better”. He drapes his jacket around your shoulders and despite how hard you try to shrug it off he keeps it firmly on your shoulders.

This wasn’t the feeling you were used too, normally it was your partners jackets being handed to you after a long night and he notices you shivering or simply a way to say ‘I told you so’ after he insisted you should bring a jacket but you shut him down with the endless ‘Jay, I’ll be fine’ comments but eventually giving in to be engulfed in his attire.

As much as you tried to not compare the two, it was like an angel and devil on each shoulder. One was reminding you of the constant digs or snarky comments he would make that drove you insane but there was the other that pushed the thoughts of what made him so great.

When he would stay late at the district because you wanted to wrap a case up and he didn’t want you to be alone or the time he would bring you a coffee in the morning after watching you knock back drinks at Molly’s the night before. He was a pain in the ass but my god, he was worth every annoyance.

Brad really wasn’t getting the hint, you bat his chest to get him off you as he stumbles back “Thanks for dinner” you mock, grateful the cab you’d ordered had just spun round the corner, securing your safety and ticket away from the dreadful man.

You quickly open the door and jump in, shutting the door behind you and locking it “You didn’t give me your number” he calls out on the other side of the window but you grimace a smile “If it’s meant to be, you’ll guess it”.

The cab driver clearly got the hint better than Brad did, slamming his foot onto the pedal as he drives away “Rough night?” he jokes to which you huff with your head leaning on the window “Like you wouldn’t believe”.

**

You’d thought about going to Molly’s to put a positive end to your night but even that didn’t appeal to you. You directed the cab driver to your apartment where you were now slouched on the sofa, silence only being interrupted by the gargles from your stomach and the regret of not finishing your meal earlier playing on your mind.

Feeling sorry for yourself after removing your make up and change into some comfier clothes, shoving them into the wash to get rid of any smell from Brad. Half tempted to burn them to destroy any evidence completely.

Aimlessly scrolling through your phone, laughing at the videos posted to social media of everyone in Molly’s downing drinks like there was no tomorrow as they raised a glass to anything they could think of as an excuse to get another.

Slightly regretting not going but the last thing you wanted was to be bombarded with questions as soon as you enter the door, questions you didn’t want to lie about to avoid hurting Kim’s feelings but also it was a group of detectives, they could tell a lie from a mile off.

Meanwhile, Adam was at the bar with Kim who was bragging about the man she had set you up with and how great the pair of you would be together. Jay listened intently, trying his best to pry his attention away but failing as he innocently drank his beer with the occasoinal nod or hum in agreement to Kim’s spiel.

He didn’t wait to hear it.

He didn’t want to hear how she thought this man was perfect for you. He didn’t want to hear she thought you’d be having such a great time. He didn’t want to hear it yet he couldnt tear himself away.

Suddenly Kim jumps from her seat, bounding towards the door as Brad enters. She was clearly expecting you to be there so couldn’t hide the dissapointment when he walked in alone, Jay was equally as confused but dare he say, relieved?

The thought of you walking in on another man’s arm would inrage him so was quite glad to see him bowl in by himself. Kim ushered him over to Jay and Adam at the bar to join them, shouting to Herrmann to get him a beer as he introduces himself to the pair. 

“Ah, you’re Will’s brother?” Brad comments, holding his hand out to offer but Jay keeps one hand wrapped around the bottle at his lips and the other resting on the bar, causing Brad to retract his hand back into his pocket “Yeah, that’s me” he responds with a dry tone, wanting Brad to get the hint he was the last person he’d want stood in front of him right now. 

“Yeah, she mentioned you actually” Brad comments, also taking a sip of his beer as Jay’s eyes light up at the thought of you talking about him, even during a date “Said how annoying you are” he chuckles at his own comment to which Adam and Kim join in the amusement but Jay was stern faced and not enjoying the digs in the slightest.

“How was it then?” Kim raises her voice in excitment to change the subject after noticing the glare Jay was currently burning into Brad’s side. “Man, she’s great” he gloats, leaning back on his heels as he smirks “Quite a mouth on her too”. Kim almost chokes on her drink at his comment, Jay suddenly you having a tight grip on the beer bottle as his fists clench.

“Couldn’t shut her up, she loved talking to me about everything. Kept going on about how much she was missing her little sister and her dog Lily” he shrugged but Jay scoffed.

 “She said that?” he asks, confidence laced in his voice as he took another sip of his beer before earning a nod from Brad “Interesting” he mumbles, flicking his eyes over to Kim and Adam who also had knitted brows in confusion.

“What did she order?” Jay continues to interrogate, clearly unsettling Brad as he harshly swallows “What’s with all the questions?” he hits back to which Jay shrugs casually “I’m a detective, can’t help myself sometimes”.

Kim clears her throat to break the tension as Jay and Brad continue staring at each other. Even with the disadvantage of Jay being sat on the stool and Brad towering over him, Jay still couldn’t stop himself thinking how easy it would be to tackle him to the ground if he dared to say something about you that would set him off.

“Some salad thing, barely touched it she was so invested in what I was saying. Think she just wanted to get me back to hers” he raises his brows to Adam who responds with a disgusted look, he wasn’t getting the right vibe from Brad and even worse he wasn’t getting the hint.

Jay let’s put a pitiful laugh which grabs Brads attention “Am I missing something here?” he questions, directing his voice to Adam but Jay stands to bring the attention back onto him.

“First of all, she doesn’t have a sister or a dog” he commands as he harshly places his now empty beer bottle on the bar and watches how Brad quickly looks down at the firm hand placed round the shockingly in tact bottle but then back up to Jay’s menacing glare.

“Second of all, stop bullshitting about how well it went when she was clearly would’ve thought you were as dull as dish water and would prefer watching paint dry” he hands some money across to Adam to pay for his round before excusing himself.

 “You don’t have to be a detective to work out she’s way too good for you” he spits out at Brad as he passes, nudging his shoulder as he passes and heads for the door. He could barely gather his thoughts, he didn’t know what he was doing or what he would say but he just needed to be with you. 

**

You tutted at the reality show, screaming the occasional curse word at a stupid answer or calling out if you thought of it before the contestants did. You usually hated reality shows, refusing to watch any of the popular yearly series that grace the screen but this was helping to distract you from your awful evening and how much you wished you’d just gone to Molly’s.

‘I’d rather be with them’ you thought to yourself before audially sighing when you realize you really should be saying ‘I’d rather be with him’. 

Thoughts of Jay being in Molly’s grow increasingly harder to ignore, you know how much female attention he gets and can only picture the way he’s enjoying himself without having to look over his shoulder and see you giving the girl a death glare. 

He was probably talking to the third or fourth girl of the night by now and not even through trying. He’d head to the bar to order a round and instantly be caught by a girl at his side, tossing her hair around with a cringy giggle as she tries it on with him.

Depending on his mood, he’d either entertain it to pass the time as he waits for the drink or in his gentlemanly way tell her he was here to enjoy time with his friends and wasn’t interested but of course you couldn’t possibly think of the second option right now.

In your head he was outside with some girl, pinning her against the wall as their alcohol soaked lips crash together while he whispers sweet nothings in her ear to earn that stupid little laugh like she hasn’t got exactly what she wanted. It made you feel sick. 

Wandering over to the kitchen to stare at the near empty fridge, reaching for another beige food item as you snack on the odd piece of junk food you’d collected throughout the week. Eating half a chocolate bar but throwing it away as it wasn’t helping the sick feeling and deciding on grabbing yourself a glass of water and heading to bed for a somewhat early night.

You huff as you pad across the room, hunched shoulders from feeling sorry for yourself but you were truly the one to blame. After a terrible date you should’ve gone to the bar to be with your friends, to be with him but no you came home to wallow in self pity, good one. 

A round of knocks from the front door echo throughout the apartment, checking the time to see 11.05pm flashing back at you from the TV monitor. You thought about asking who it was but deciding to not answer it as it would probably be some of your drunk neighbors asking if you had any lemonade as they’d run out or something stupid like that.

Normally, you’d atleast check who it was but you weren’t in the mood. What if it was Brad? He’d come to try his luck one more time? The thought made you feel even worse and if anything hurried you further away from the door.

“If you don’t answer your phone, you can atleast let me in”

The pit in your stomach grew as you heard the all too familiar voice, surely he hadn’t come all this way just to check up on you? That would be just you imagining something you wanted to happen and those things didn’t happen to you, not with him.

“Y/N. Open the door” you hear Jay’s voice boom, not out of anger but dare you say, concern? 

You take a quick glance in the mirror, cursing yourself for removing your make up and changing into some slobby comfy clothes. He knocks again but this time doesn’t stop, continuing to pound his fists into the door as he doesn’t take no for an answer.

You run your hands through your hair in some attempt to regain some form of decency before twisting the door handle and opening to see Jay stood in the hall, pizza box in one hand bottle and pack of beers in the other. His smile is infectious as he radiates happiness from the moment he see’s you, holding the items up with raised brows 

“Pizza’s getting cold and these are getting warm”

You roll your eyes before opening the door fully to let him into the apartment, feeling the instant relief of comfort from his aftershave as he closely passes “You didn’t unhook the latch, do you have it on normally?” you slowly shut the door, turning to him in confusion as he makes himself at home by grabbing the bottle opener and handing you an open bottle of beer. 

“Didn’t realise I’d just let my dad in?” you joke but he flashes a stern look before turning back to the pizza “Just saying”. 

You make your way back over to the sofa, letting him get organised before he finally joins you. He places the pizza box between the pair of you and for a split second you take that as a hint he doesn’t want to get too close to you, otherwise he’d sit beside you and place the box on the table in front but no, he was keeping his distance. 

Each grabbing a slice of pizza, you turn your attention back to the screen but feel his gaze still on you “You hate these things? I told you to watch Love Island and you nearly didn’t speak to me for a week” he throws his hand up in gest as you chuckle “It’s a game show, it’s different”. 

He leans to grab a beer and the room falls silent , each waiting for the other to speak but neither of you sure what to say. The inner battle in Jay’s head of whether to ask about your date sends the cogs in his brain turning, so fast it’s a surprise you don’t hear them. 

On one hand he wants to hear about how horrible it was, how you hated every second and wish you hadn’t gone but on the other what if you loved it? What if you’d gone home to wait for Brad to come over later? What if you’d already texted him to come and that’s why you weren’t asnwering your phone when he tried to call earlier? 

“Why are you here?” your timid voice breaks the silence, also just as nervous to speak as Jay. You fully expected to be told some story about how he was craving warm pizza and your apartment was closer than his to eat it whilst it was hot. Or how he needed a place to stay for a few hours before heading into work the next morning so you were just a convenience but neither of those things were his reponse.

“I was worried about you”

You almost choke on your sip of beer, placing it back on the table as you finish your pizza slice “You were worried about me?” you double check you heard correctly and you weren’t just having one of those outer body experiences where you’re hearing what you wish he would say. 

“Brad came to Molly’s” he smirks and your heart drops “Shit” you mumble, running your hand across your forhead as you chuckle “Did he say what a terrible date I am?” you look at Jay through your fingers as he shakes his head, trying to surpress a grin but failing “Just the opposite actually”.

You sit confused, waiting for Jay to ellaborate on his story as he throws a pizza crust back into the box and rubbing his hands on his jeans to dust off the crumbs “Was raving about you. In fact, think he’s quite fond of you”.

You throw your head back and groan “Don’t tell me that, if you’re gonna sit and say how great he is you can leave” you point to the door but Jay stays seated with the signature smile spreading on his face “I’m not going anywhere”.

***

It had been a few hours since Jay turned up at your door, he’d convinced you to turn to his favourite late night game show which you were now watching. After finishing the pizza, he took the box into the kitchen and took you by surprise as he sat down right beside you. You froze, instantly feeling like a shy school girl again after the boy you like accidentally touched your hand, but this wasn’t accidental. It was far from it.

He swung his arm round the back of the sofa and wrapped it around your shoulders to pull you into him, allowing yourself to lean your head on his shoulder as he placed his on top of yours. You stared at the screen feeling riged, scared to even breathe too heavy as you were so close he would feel anything and everything.

“It’s Mount Rushmore, idiot” he called out, removing his head from yours to point at the TV. “Is he for real? How thick can people be?” he argued with himself as you watched on, who knew someone yelling at a TV game show could give you such loving butterflies in your stomach?

‘Top 5 places a guy will take a girl on a date’

The next question flashes up on the screen and you pat Jay on the thigh, an innocent guesture that you didn’t think much of until after you’d done it. Feeling him flick his eyes down to your hand that was still resting on his leg before returning his attention back to the screen “This ones on you Halstead”. 

He sighs as the first answer is revealed, “Well the movies is boring” he scoffs “worst date ever, you just sit at a screen and don’t talk. What’s the point? Can do that at home” you chuckle at his groaning which earns a hum of confusion from Jay.

“You go next” he switches the question onto you but you shake your head “This is from a guys point of view, don’t bring this onto me” you return your head on his shoulder and slightly nestle into his neck.

Your skin feels like its burning as his hand drops from the back of the sofa to your waist and pulls you closer to him. You expect him to make a joke about it or a sarcastic comment but he doesn’t, it’s almost as if he doesn’t even realise he’s done it and that it was more of a natrual thing for him to do. 

The answers continue to be revealed, each getting more stereotypical each time and earning a dig from Jay after every failed attempt of the contestants guessing “Do these people just watch films and get the ideas from there?” he moans “No originality these days”.

“Okay Mr Originality, what’s your idea of a perfect date then?” you ask, still keeping your head nestled into him as you feel his chest vibrate in a soft laugh “You really wanna know?” he asks to which you nod “I wanna know what the bachelor Jay Halstead does to impress the ladies”. 

He takes a final sip of his beer before setting it down on the table, an inaudible sigh escaping your lips as you feel him slightly lift his grasp that had settled on your hips. You stay slouched into the sofa, hoping he will return to his position to which you feel your heat skip as leans back to join you.

“So” he begins, kicking his feet up on the table and once again slinging his arm around you. You allow your head to fall back into the crook of his neck with a content hum, hearing a light chuckle which tells you he heard your almost silent noise. 

“First of all, it wouldn’t be the movies or the theatre. That’s just stupid and especially if its a first date, you can’t even get to know the person, I don’t understand. Second of all I’d” you tap lightly against his chest to stop him in his rant.

“Are we gonna be continuing with this number scheme? Feels like i’m in school” you joke, feeling Jay sink his head onto yours and dig his fingertips into your skin to make you jolt “Fine, I’ll start again”. 

“I’d turn up at the door, maybe flowers or maybe some beers. Sometimes I’d book a table at their favourite restaurant but I wouldn’t just ask them which one. I would’ve found out sneakily through conversation or asking their friends or collegues so they’re surprised when we get there at how well I pay attention to these things.” 

You instantly regret asking, why did you have to ask him about his ‘Jay Halstead’ moves when the thought of him on a date with someone else makes you feel physically sick? You can’t stand your mind entertaining the thought of another girl giving him attention at a bar whilst he waits for drinks, let alone him describing in depth the extra miles he’d go to when he’s with a girl he likes. 

You continue listening to his story, getting lost in his words as he seems to let them fall from his lips so casually as he describes the date. 

“I’d maybe even pick them up from work, surprise them with a weekend away if we’ve been together a while to try and get some time together” he pauses before taking a deep breath and continuing on.

“Even something so simple as not being able to enjoy a night at Molly’s if she isn’t there so turning up at her apartment with a nearly cold pizza and 4 pack of beer to scream answers at TV presenter that can’t hear us until she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder.

I’d cover her with a blanket, not wanting to carry her to bed incase she got the wrong idea. I’d set up a little place for myself on the chair next to her, watching as she smiles in her sleep and wondering if she’s thinking of me and if she knows just how crazy she makes me”

His voice trails off, almost as if he was speaking without thinking and now second guessing everything he’s just said. He was clearly speaking about you.

The amount of time he’d wish he could book a table at your favourite Italian restaurant that he see’s you looking at the menu for all the time but can never justify the price.

Overhearing you and Kim talking about a cabin by the lake you saw on social media, craving the idea of him whisking you away after work for an impromptu weekend where he could have you all to himself and not have to share you with anyone. He wanted all those things, but he could only see them happening with you. 

“Sounds an awful lot like you’ve got someone in mind for these dates?” you tease “She’s a luckily girl if shes got Jay Halstead thinking of her like that” you remark, unsure of whether to acknowledge everyhing he has just spilled out or to let it pass by, put it down to him having a few drinks and clearly getting more tired as you feel him pull you into him more and the weight of him leaning on you growing stronger. 

“Yeah she is, too bad I have to watch her go on dates with other guys and hear him rave about it at a bar when all I can think about if how it should be me”.

Another silence falls between you, it had gone too far for it to be considered a ‘drunken comment’ at this point he was just describing you and you both knew it. 

“You should tell her how you feel” you lift your hand to innocently play with the buttons on his shirt, nothing sinster or sexual about it but you found comfort in the extra form of touch.

You yawn into his side, draping your arm across his chest as you bring your leg to rest onto his. You feel him drop a kiss to the top of your head as he places his other hand on your thigh to hook it round him, further closing the gap between the pair of you as you feel him harshly swallow “I think I just did”. 

***

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[refriedweeb]

PUT YOUR LIPS ON MY SKIN ( HAWKS + READER 18+)

A/N: heyyoo! refriedweeb here again with another request from @alexandria-selina and has elements of jealous hawks with his wings (from that tiktok head canon of them puffing out you know what I mean) and this post from @keiqos !

Prompt: “A jealous Hawks where his s/o gets hit on by another pro and she's blushing. She's just being shy but Hawks takes it as she likes it. Instead of getting into a fight with the pro, he shows his s/o why she shouldn't look at anyone else.”

Tags/Warnings: smut, overstimulation, jealousy, mirror fucking, spit, a lil bit of blood, rutting, feral, aftercare, kink, jealous, dirty talk.

Word count: 5,080

Keigo Takami hated hero events. He hated having to wear the Hawks persona day in and day out, especially when it came to being surrounded by his fellow pro heroes. Now, don’t get the guy wrong, he did enjoy what he did for a career despite any behaviors he had to unlearn from the hero commission themselves. He wanted to save people, he wanted to make the world a better and safer place. He just hated all the bullshit politics that came with it. They were heroes, hell. It wasn’t about making best friends and going to fancy events when there was always going to people out there that needed them while they clinked glasses of overpriced champagne.

Though, one thing Keigo didn’t think he minded that much was seeing you dolled up in a dress that led his mind to sinful, dark places. You and Keigo had only recently started dating, after months of him slowly starting to open up to you about the shit that he’d gone through, how he’d really felt about the commission once he’d gotten the sense that he could trust you. It’d been a struggle to call yourselves an item, but now that you could, Keigo felt what he could only assume was peace inside of a darkened and traumatized heart. There was also another emotion that was stirring in him that had nothing to do with peace, and all of those awful things that he wanted to do to your body. None that he would apologize for, of course.

It wasn’t his fault that the commission had decided to host a little event when he was in the peak of his rut season.

And oh, was Keigo in trouble. You’d recently started wearing a new perfume that had driven him up a wall the moment he’d caught the scent on you at the beginning of his mating season. It wasn’t sickly sweet, but sweet enough, and mixed perfectly with your natural pheromones to create a musk that drove his cock to twitch every time you shook some hair over your shoulder, stretched, fucking just breathed. He’d been unable to keep his hands off you for the majority of the weeks that had past, except as of late. You’d told him to keep his filthy paws to himself leading up to the event, not wanting to be bruised or love bit to all hell because Keigo couldn’t control himself. The way that he saw it, the dress you’d picked for the night was to torment him on purpose. Deep red velvet that matched his wings, settling over the curve of your hips, the flow of your waist.

You’d made him promise to be on his best behavior for the night, not wanting any trouble or any media to get wildly stories about what your relationship was really about. But damn, if the moment you were alone with him, he was going to tear that dress to shreds with what little talons he had in place of regular nails. You, on the other hand, your body had been spent. Keigo was insatiable on a good day, but ever since the rut season had started, it’d been exceptionally so. Not that you could complain, your body was sore in a much different, more appreciative way than you felt with sparring.

And yes, you had chosen the red velvet dress on purpose. It was your goal of the night to drive Keigo as out of his mind as possible. You couldn’t read him quite as well yet, your relationship still relatively new, and Keigo working through an entire lifetime of walls to protect his emotional security from the hero commission. His expression was a blank one, but when you locked eyes with him, Keigo gave you the smallest eyebrow raise as he looked you up and down. A silent stamp approval that had heat blossoming up your neck. He wanted to make that perfume you were wearing mixed with his own, he wanted to make sure that anyone who got a whiff of your scent knew who you belonged to. He wasn’t a fan of sharing by any means.

The night carried on, speeches given by the leaders of the commission (which you’d always found yourself by Keigo’s side much to his comfort), Endeavor’s speech, All Night’s retirement speech, and so on and so on. There’s been a light array of snacks while the pros mingled, finding yourself talking to Shinya Kamihara, otherwise known to the world as Edgeshot. It wasn’t very often you got to mingle with the top ten pros, your rank in the high teens, so you found yourself shy. Not quite sure how to handle yourself around such class, experiences, and amazing heroes. You were sure the blush on your cheeks, your neck, was visible from outer space. Shinya was a gentleman, he complimented you on your quirk, your work, and the little bit of history you’d talked to him about on why you had made your choice to become a hero. From your point of view, it was a harmless conversation that was borderline on friendly as you got to know the fellow hero, but from a certain outside perspective it was something a little more.

Keigo wasn’t paying attention to any of the conversation going on around him, his eyes were focused on you. The way you tipped your head back as you laughed, sending another ripple effect of your smell through the air. Was that bastard Edgeshot trying to move in on you? Did he really think he had a chance? He swallowed the jealousy in his throat, though his avian side had a mind of its own on this. His wings, proud and defensive, puffed out. This caused a stir of the other heroes around him, asking if there was something they missed that he’d alerted to. Keigo laughed, the same charismatic Hawks as always, saying they just needed a stretch. He crossed his arms, fidgeting with one of his cuff links. Keigo, jealous? Haha. HAHAHAHA...ha? His eyes were narrowed into slits as he watched you pat Edgeshot on the shoulder, leaning in to kiss his cheek before the other hero moved away.

His instinct was to claim you right then and there. To rub his scent all over you and yours on his so that no one else would mistake you as open. But...that’d certainly cause a scene and that was something he promised he wouldn’t do that night. So, Keigo bit back on his instinct, unclenched his jaw, and behaved for the rest of the night. Anything that came after that was entirely out of his control. You’d floated around to him throughout the night, not doing much outside of brushing hands together, a chaste smile shared between you. This was your first real hero event ever since you broke into the teens of your career, and it was one you wanted to soak in. Keigo knew this, and didn’t want to spoil it for you despite his own feelings on the event. 

Keigo’s mood, his want, took a turn for the worse when it came to someone actually flirting with you. You, not experienced enough with the personalities of some of these heroes to realize what was happening. It wasn’t Edgeshot this time, no. Now...it was Ryo Inui, better known as Hound Dog. And he was like Keigo in a way that he wanted to mark whatever it was that he wanted. Ryo put his hand on the small of your back, where Keigo’s hand was supposed to go. He laughed when you laughed, leaning in close to you as like there was some desperate secret he needed to share with your ears only. Ryo was flirting with his girlfriend and was being so bold about it. No, nope. That would not do for him. His wings fanned out again, this time catching the attention of several people around him, you and Ryo included. Your mouth dropped open in awe at the sight, though when you caught Keigo’s eyes to see his pupils narrowed into slits, something like a firework set off in your belly. 

That fucking mutt dared to spoil that perfume that sent him into a frenzy with his dog-like scent? That wasn’t something that Keigo could stand for in the slightest. That scent was you. It was the scent he had been planning on burying his own in.

The two of you left the event shortly after.

On the ride back to Keigo’s place, the car was silent. Not a word was spoken between the two of you, though it was full of tension in a way where if you breathed, you felt that you could choke on it. He drove fast, shifting gear after gear with aggression that made you wish it was your neck he gripped so hard. As you sat in the passenger seat,  you couldn’t help but rub your thighs together to feel some of that much desired tension between your legs. This didn’t go unnoticed by Keigo, and he hissed. 

Still, the two of you didn’t exchange words until you were behind the privacy of his front door. And even then, you spoke first. “Everything okay, Keigo?”

His pupils were still zeroed in on you, as he stalked towards you, every bit the predator bird that he was. And fuck, if it didn’t make you want to melt into a puddle at his feet. You walked backwards, careful not to trip over the towering heels you were in. His body was hot, flush against yours though he refused to touch you. Keigo wanted to take his time with this, with devouring you. You’d rubbed it in his face how much the rest of the heroes wanted you, being the little flirt that you were. There was no need for him to rush into anything, the way Keigo saw it. “Oh, everything’s fine.” He commented, tone dark. “I could handle that nimrod Edgeshot eyeing you up like some desert, sure. I behaved,” Keigo tipped his head to the side as he shrugged. He’d managed to walk you back into the bedroom you’d been sharing recently. 

“What are you talking about? Edgeshot was just being friendly!”

Keigo’s chuckle was cynical, but it turned the silk of your bundle into a pearl with how quickly it excited you. “He wanted to tear this dress of you just as much as I do.” How he was. “But then you had to go and be a little tease, didn’t you?” Keigo was watching you like a hawk would watch a mouse just before it clutched it in its’ talons. “Had to let Ryo rub himself on you like the mutt he is. In the middle of my rutting season.” Your back bumped up against the floor length mirror behind you as Keigo gripped your jaw, the sharp curve of what would have been talons biting into the skin there. “All I can smell on you is him.”

He clucked his tongue. Sharp, narrowed eyes lowered over your skin and back up. You were breathless and Keigo hadn’t even touched you yet. “That just won’t do, now will it, (Y/N)?”

“K-Keigo, I don’t know what you’re-”

A soft cry of pain rose from the back of your throat as his version of talons sank into your skin, enough to draw a little bit of blood. This was Keigo in his rutting form times a million, a possessive version of him you’d never seen before. Part of you was scared, but the larger part of you was excited. He wanted to claim you. He wanted to make you more than just his. 

“I asked if that would do, (Y/N)?”

Unable to speak with how tightly Keigo gripped your jaw, you simply shook your head from side to side. No, it wouldn’t do. That crooked smirk brushed over Keigo’s lips, and you wanted to taste him so bad. Taste the anger on his tongue, feel the fury in the rows of his teeth. Keigo was pissed, more than anything, that someone had tried to erase his claim on you. So, the only way to make sure that never happened again was to mold the scent of you with his. “That’s a good little slut.” Keigo released his hand from your jaw, the faint tickle of blood that ran down your jaw sending a shiver down your spine.

Keigo turned surprisingly gentle as he turned you around, as he pressed your hands up against the curve of the mirror that you were facing. “I’m going to make you watch me claim you. Fuck you and fill you until there’s no fucking mistaking who you belong to.” His hands dug into the back of your skin, and you winced. “You keep these hands right here, and if you don’t, there’ll be problems. Do you understand, little bird?”

“Yes, Keigo.”

His devilishly wicked smile returned. And so did the greed in his hands. Keigo took his time groping you, the swell of your breasts full in his hands. The winding curves of your waist and hips. Down the silken road of the dress that he swore he’d destroy. He wasn’t soft, gentle. Keigo was at his brink already, but he wanted to take his time with torturing you for being such a teasing little whore. His hands gripped the sides of your thighs, plunged through the velvet fabric so that lines of red were exposed in the slits he left behind. A soft moan escaped you at the sensation of talons digging through your skin, and he watched your expression in the mirror’s reflection as he did it over your backside. “Do you like that, whore?” he whispered in your ear. “When I leave my mark on you? When all you can feel is me?”

“Yes, fuck,” you breathed in response. He buried his face in the juncture of your neck and collarbone, taking a deep breath in that still smelled like mutt, fueling his need to erase that smell completely. His kisses were wet, sloppy, tongue traced over the length of your collarbone, of your neck. A soft sigh escaped you, your grip on the perimeter of the mirror growing tighter as the need to touch Keigo grew. His teeth sank into the soft spot of your neck, your head falling back on his shoulder as he suckled the skin there, a patch of pink blossoming against the skin there that would eventually bruise. The assault against your neck and your shoulders didn’t stop there, either. He ran his nose along the length of your shoulders, leaving trails of wet, angry patches from where he’d bit and pulled at your skin. There wasn’t a single ounce of Keigo that was kidding when he said he was going to erase every trace of anyone on your body but him. His cock was hard, and it would have been so easy to just bury himself inside the soft warmth of your cunt, and god how he ached to.

But the best things came to those that waited.

While his tongue and mouth worked at your neck and shoulders, his fingers played with your breasts, groping and pulling at the skin there with reckless abandon. Fingers pinched at your nipples, sharpened nails ghosted across the tender flesh there. You shuddered, shifted where you stood as you ground against his hips, feeling the thick length of him there. Keigo had barely even touched you, but you could feel the pool of warmth between your thighs only growing wetter. “Keigo,” you mewled. 

“Hmm?” his breath came hot against the ear he had been nibbling on, and your knees knocked together. 

“Touch me,” you pleaded.

“Touch you where?” His tone sounded positively bored, pinching your nipple between his thumb and index finger that caused you to squeal.

“My pussy,” you caught sight of your own desperate expression in the mirror, all while Keigo looked like a predator playing with his food. And in that moment, you realized this was exactly what it was. Keigo was toying with you before he sent you to the next level of existence. Your legs quivered.  “Play with me.”

“Have you been a good little bird?” He asked.

“Yes.”

His hum seemed to be a satisfied answer, because his hands left your breasts, finding a new home at the back of your dress. But rather than go for the zipper, Keigo simply tore the fabric. The sound of it ripping filled the room as it pooled down at your feet seconds later. Leaving you exposed save for the same colored red pair of panties you’d worn that night. The dress had left no room for a matching bra given the dip at your back it’d once had. But that was of no consequence to Keigo. Keigo let out a sharp breath through his teeth as he admired your body and all that came with it. His hands found the curve of your backside, kneading the flesh there with thought. You could feel the tent of him pressing in between your thighs, and you let him slip between your thighs, shifting your thighs back and forth to alleviate some of the tension in his cock for him.

On instinct, more due to the fact that the bird in him wanted to cover you in his scent and his cum, Keigo rolled his hips into you with a snap of a thrust. It pushed you forward, almost sending you colliding with the mirror. “Little bird, that wasn’t very nice of you.” He scolded, letting a finger draw under the band of your panty before lifting it up. A moment later it was slapping against your skin, and you hissed. “I’ll have to punish you. Such behavior tonight...” he drawled, quickly shedding his formal attire until he was dressed down to just his pants. Keigo pressed his chest against your back, rubbing himself against you. His free hand returned to one of your breasts, toying with the nipple there as he murmured in your ear, his voice husky. 

Feral.

“So naughty tonight...” Keigo continued as his other hand slipped down the front of your body, underneath the dark red lace that had kept that pretty little cunt concealed from him. He found how wet you already were for him, slick glaze quick to coat his fingers as he ran them up and down between your legs. “Already so ready for me. You really are the little tease, aren’t you?” A moan escaped you as he teased the tip of his finger around the circle of your clit, but not quite touching it. “So filthy...” he went on, breath hot against where he’d drawn out hickies moments before. 

You were so eager for him to be inside of you, already so wet for him, Keigo had the perfect punishment for you being so naughty. He brushed his thumb against your clit, and your grip on the mirror slid down as you fought not to grab onto him. He was tantalizingly slow as he circled around your clit, tapping against the swollen bud every so often but not often enough for what you needed in that moment. His chuckle was dry, the hand that had been playing with your breast sneaking up to your neck. Your thighs were slick with your need, your core on fire as he teased you closer and closer to your edge. 

Keigo tipped your head back, opening your mouth as he leaned in. As he spat on the tongue you’d pushed out like the slut you were. Every possible hole he could find to fill you with, Keigo was going to. You weren’t going to be able to walk down the fucking street without a single person forgetting who you belonged to. “What do we say, little bird?”

“Thank you,” you rasped as he slid two fingers into you, feeling him stretch your walls as he slowly pumped them in and out of you. He was slow, methodical, holding your jaw in place so that he could look down at that awestruck expression on your face as he finger fucked you. Your belly was on fire, waves of fire rolling as your orgasm wound tighter and tighter around his fingers. Keigo could feel his own cock slick with his precum, knowing he wouldn’t be able to last much longer himself.

 “I don’t like it when other people look at you like you’re theirs for the taking,” Keigo muttered when he the tip of his nail along your clit. The featherlight sensation caused your knees to buckle, your hips to buck as you fell back into him. “You’re mine. And I’m going to fill you so fucking good that no one makes that mistake again.” He stretched your walls further with a third finger, and you writhed in your standing position as he continued to work those fingers in and out of you. The coil in your belly was wound tight enough where you thought

“Who do you belong to, little bird?” His fingers picked up pace, the sound of your silken glaze coating him filling the room while you fought to make your brain remember words. Your mouth hung open as he finger-fucked you, head bobbing against his shoulder as he looked down at you expectantly. “Tell your man who this pussy belongs to, and I’ll let you cum.” He could feel how close you were, the sound of your mewls turning to pants.

“You! It belongs to you!” you whimpered, grinding against his hand, your hips rolled forward to press his fingers deeper inside you. “Please, Keigo!”

This satisfied him enough, at least for now. His pace quickened still until your head was hung forward between your shoulders, moaning his name over and over as you watched him finger fuck you. Your orgasm was on the brink, the precipice of pleasure and all you needed was -

“Ah, fuck! Fuck, Ke-AH,” That needed push found you moments later and you were spilling around the spread of his fingers, your orgasm taking over you as your legs spasmed, knees buckling so that Keigo had to support you with a hand around your waist. Your grip on the outer of the mirror so ironclad you thought you’d break it. It rolled through you in waves, Keigo’s fingers sticky as he pulled them from you, suckling your sweetness of his fingers like it was candy. Shit. 

“What a good little slut,” he whispered. The sound of his belt loosening, the pants falling, re-sparked that fire you’d just doused by orgasming. You could see his cock, curved and thick with a head already milking his cum. “Gonna fill you so good now, gonna fuck you full of my cum.” You watched, mouth dry as he milked himself with a fist. “Gonna watch me fuck you, baby bird.” You could feel the press of his head between your thighs, and you widened your stance to accommodate him. 

Then, without warning, he thrust so hard into you, that you cried out in pain. His thrusts from the get go were borderline violent, painful as you fought against being thrown into the glass of the mirror. A hand fisted into your hair, pulling it sharply enough that you could feel the pain, but with enough leeway that you could still watch as he moved in and out of you, his cock already wet with what was left behind from your first orgasm. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, the smell of sweet sex coming shortly after. You were unable to make any intelligible noises aside from mewls and gasps, while Keigo was behind you muttering to himself about how good your pussy felt, how it was made for his cock, how he was going to fill you up so fucking good. 

The mountain climb to your orgasm started again, your cunt clenching around him as he thrust in and out of you with feverish need. His hips were sloppy, and you didn’t dare tear your eyes away from where he slipped in and out of you. “Such a sweet fucking cunt,” Hawks groaned, twisting your hair tighter in his fist. “My fucking pussy.” he hissed with a thrust that hit the highest point of your wall and caused you pain. Yet you didn’t dare stop. The look on Keigo’s face, the roll of his bottom lip between his teeth, let you know he was close to his high. The sight of him so focused on fucking you wound your belly tighter, and you missed the hand that slipped down to your clit once more. You cried out, the over-sensitized nub of your clit protesting as his thumb found it once more.  The grip you had on the mirror shifted again, a move to get his hand away from where you were most sensitive.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” he growled, and your legs quivered. His eyes were still narrowed into near-invisible slits as you obeyed the order. You shook, spasmed, as he raced your orgasm to line up with his. 

“Please, please, ah, hrnngh, Kei-” your hips found the rhythm to match his almost instantly, and tears sparked in your eyes as the bundle of nerves exploded inside of your body, every nerve ending inside you set on fire, exploding as your second orgasm found you just moments before Keigo found his own. 

“Fuck, fuck yeah, gonna fill you so fuckin-Urngh,” Keigo groaned, fucking into you with one last violent thrust as he spilled himself in you, shooting ribbons of cum that went scorching through your core. There was a moment as the two of you stood there, Keigo still inside of you, breathing heavily. You on the other hand, were shaking all over, barely able to keep yourself on both legs. 

Keigo’s callused finger pad was still resting over your clit, and even the smallest shift sent a wave of pleasured pain coursing through your entire body. You were overstimulated, likely to cum if he persisted again. “Kei...” you whispered.  His head was resting over your collarbone, hung low. He reached out and slapped your hand away, pressed it back to the mirror. He wasn’t done with you.

“Told you, little bird. Gotta punish you.”

A whimper rolled through you, “I can’t, I can’t, I-” you let out a whine as he tapped his thumb against you again, slowly rolling a half-hard cock in and out of you as he started at your clit again. Massaging it slowly, cruelly. Your legs bowed out, slack as it was on Keigo alone to keep you supported with your weight against his chest. “Gotta make sure you know,” his hips snapped against yours again, and those tears that had been hidden in your eyes slipped loose. “That no one else is gonna fuck you this good. No one’s gonna make you feel this good.” he said, your body screaming at you for relief, for the prickling of nerves in your skin to cease. “You’re my good little slut.” You could feel whatever remnants of his cum shooting out into you once more, wetness cascading down your thighs. 

The perfume you’d been wearing now, Keigo noted, was mixed so heavily with his own pheromones and sex, that there was no mistaking who fucked you at night. Who you were mated to. You were all Keigo’s, and that was what mattered to him. But he still had to finish punishing you for being a little tease, for allowing that musky scent to be tarnished by anyone other than him. You were a whimpering, sobbing mess, flushed against his body as your hips moved on their own accord in time with the fingers he was using between your sopping lips. Your cries were pained, unintelligible pleas to cum and be released. Yet, he took his time. Feeling that sweet cunt clamp down around his fingers once he pulled out of you. A moment’s reprieve before his fingers stretched you all over again. He wound you tighter, and tighter, sending that fire racing through your veins.

“I can’-” you cried out, a threatening wave of pleasure and pain coursing through you. “Please let me cum, please. I’ll be good, I’ll be good.” tears were wet against your cheek as he played with you. 

“You promise, little bird?”

“Yes! Yes I promise!” you begged.

After all that time of keeping your hands on the perimeter of the mirror, your third and final orgasm had them flying to Keigo’s hair for stable purchase as it overtook you. Your sobs filled the room as your rode out the final orgasm, your chest heaving in shuddering breaths as Keigo worked you through it, held onto your body tightly to keep you from collapsing. Your legs were soaked, your nether region slick from top to bottom. Keigo pulled his fingers from inside you, slick and thick coated with both of your bodily fluids. His eyes met yours through the mirror as those fingers dipped between your lips, pushing them onto the flat of your tongue as you lapped and sucked them clean. Only when he was satisfied you’d gotten every last drop of each other’s cum, did Keigo pull his fingers from your mouth.

“You did so good, little bird.” he cooed in your ear, nuzzling his nose against the curve of your ear as he placed gentle kisses to sweat-soaked hair. Brushed away the tears on your cheeks. “Such a good girl,” he said, a hand smoothing over the places he’d bitten and marked you.  Lips gentle as he pressed chaste kisses to the place on his jaw where his talons pricked you. The feral need for Keigo to fuck you into oblivion was satiated for now, his touch now gentle as he caressed and soothed you, the aftershocks of an overstimulated orgasm lessening as time lapsed. He was pleased that your scent now, was so heavily mixed of him and that perfume. No one was going to act as Hound Dog had, especially now. His lips were soft against your temple, his thumbs tender against the curve of your shoulders. It was a scent he was immediately fond of, and a scent he’d do anything to protect, to maintain. Keigo hummed, folding you up into the safety of his arms, surrounded by nothing but contentedness.