#more charlie fucking pwease!!

[hoss-bonaventure]

they were bonkers for this

[renranram]

can you pwease do some ted nivision / schlatt / charlie angst about them and reader having a stupid and petty argument that ensues over to recording where you can tell there's somethinf going on but can't tell whether its banter or not-

i just want some good classic argument angst 🤭

Pick who?

sfw !

fem!reader x ted x schlatt

rei writes angst for a while then failing miserably

@.giggleburger • 10 mins

guys y does the new episode seems off 😭??

#chucklesandwich #schlatt #ted #y/n #charlie

↳ 12 ⇆ 10 ♡ 301

@.numberoneschlaggotever • 6 mins

↳ replying to @.giggleburger

TRUE IT'S MORE DRIER N SAD, like no banter? no flirts? no jokes?

↳ 2 ⇆ 0 ♡ 3

@.milkthemilkman • 1 mins

↳ replying to @.giggleburger and @.numberoneschlaggotever

lmao it's either a bit or they actually fought

↳ 0 ⇆ 0 ♡ 1

you sigh out, reading recent tweets from their latest episode, it was two the three of them fought, you, ted and schlatt

the whole ordeal was schlatt and ted had been courting you, they've been trying to outdo eachother by giving you gifts, flirting with you, compliments and affection

during the past few weeks, you and ted had been hanging out, and of course schlatt noticed, he was blazing with jealous

so before a few minutes on your recording for the new episode for chuckle sandwich, he approaches you

" how's the dates? had fun without me? " schlatt states, glaring you as he crosses his arms

" jay? what are you talking about? " you reply, confused and shock at the sudden confrontation

" you've been going on dates right? you guys hang out like im also not into you " he added, " why can't you just decide already? "

" decide on what? " ted approaches the both of them as he rests his arm around on your shoulder, " oh, your boyfriend's here too " schlatt commented, his tone, snarky

" jay you're getting things wrong.. it's not like that " you try to explain, but ted accidentally interrupts you, " what like that? "

" i dont know, maybe she finally actually decides on who she likes? " schlatt retorts, glaring at ted's hand around you, " you can't just for her out to pick on both of us, she can have the time she needs " ted defends you with a sigh

" how fucking much more does she needs? it's been months, months of us going back and forth, aren't you tired ted? "

" schlatt, you do realize this is a huge deal right? you can't just suddenly confront her at topics like this " ted shakes his head, patting your back for comfort as schlatt pushes his hand off of you

" jay.. im sorry but this isn't just fair " you mumble, " fair? no, y/n, fucking make your decision, make me realize if all the things i did for you was worth it or no " schlatt continues

" schlatt, you're pressuring her " ted states, " im pressuring her to finally know the truth, does she likes me or you, that's just what i wanna know. "

" i.. i can't.. i cant decide right now " you mumble as ted rubs your shoulder but schlatt scoffs, " did sucking ted's dick feel that good? " schlatt blurts out

ted gasps, as you froze in your spot, flabbergasted and overwhelmed but then feeling anger as you hit a slap on his face, leaving a red mark

" you know what schlatt? maybe you're right, maybe... maybe the things you did for me weren't worth it " you mumble, teary eyed, " im sorry if i made you waste your time, you can fucking leave "

ted glares at schlatt, as he follows after you, leaving schlatt all by himself as the man comforts you

the whole argument caused the rest of the episode to be dry, cold and just.. not it, you avoided schlatt the whole episode, talking to only ted and the oblivious charlie

you groan out as you rolled on your bed, blaming yourself, maybe if you could've picked at that moment this wouldn't happen-

a knock interrupts your overthinking, you glanced at the clock, 11 pm, maybe your pizza had arrived? as you get off your bed, you slowly open the door revealing a teary eyed schlatt, a bouquet on his hand

" ... hi " he greets as you look away, " .... hi " you respond as he sighs out, " im.. im so fucking sorry " schlatt mutters

" i know.. i know i was impatient and so fucking jealous, i acted out my anger and im so fucking dumb to only realize that id hurt you " he states, " i should've waited, i should've never said those to you during our argument, y/n, i.. i fucking love you, im so.. im so fucking sorry "

your eyes widened, schlatt wasn't always the one to talk about his feelings, he'd rarely mention it, " it's alright.. if you.. you know.. wont let me have a chance anymore, i understand, im a fucking dick "

" but yeah.. i hope you forgive me " he mumbles, handling you the bouquet as you slowly face him, " .. jay.. im also.. uhm.. sorry for making you wait this long.. " you mutter, receiving the bouquet, " i understand why you'd suddenly confront me and.. say those things "

" it's fine.. if you dont want to chase after me anymore, i genuinely understand- " you were cut off by a hug, " no, im not letting that loser take you all by himself "

" this feels fucking cringey to say.. but i love you y/n, i dont care how long you'll love me back... or never love me back but that's just.. that's just what i wanna say, i fucking love you "

[chrisevansonly]

Sick Baby Duck (Little Duck AU🐥💛)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wife Reader (Momma E) x Arlie Mae

Summary: After waiting it out for the day to see if Arlie would get better, but when she doesn’t it’s time for a trip to the hospital so your little duck

Warnings: a bit of angst, mentions of hospitals and sickness, sad Arlie, worried momma and Chris

a/n: happy Monday everyone, I hope to get to fics out today since it’s my one day off from classes, so stay tuned for that! Things are very weird for me right now and I kind of feel like ass but it’s fine! I also feel like this sucks and my writing it bad again LOL 

Word Count: 1,416

 Arlie’s been sick a handful of times so you and Chris are no stranger to the common cold or flu that would spread throughout your household, but this was something you had yet to experience as parents. Arlie had been coughing all day but as time went on it turned into something very nasty and unmanageable, she was running a high fever, and if she wasn’t sleeping, she was in the worst discomfort and pain you’d ever seen her in. She was down for a nap once again after taking some more medicine, both you and Chris sat in the living room trying to figure out your next plan and what to do with your little sick baby

“I think we should go to the hospital, she’s not getting better and it’s really worrying me”

You nodded

“I think that’s smart, I’ll pack a bag with a few things, and we can go”

“No, you’re not coming”

The urge to smack Chris was strong when he decided to say that, but you crossed your arms and sent a glare his way

“Excuse me?”

“You’re pregnant, heavily might I add, and going into a building with lot of sick people is not a good idea”

You shook your head 

“I love you Chris, but I am not staying here while you leave and take our daughter to the emergency room. Not a fucking chance. So, I’m gonna go pack the bag, and bring a few masks with me, and that’s final.” 

Getting up from the couch you heard the sigh he let out, knowing he wouldn’t argue with you too much, you decided to pack a few things and change into a comfier outfit than what you had on. Chris was only looking out for you, and you knew that, but there was no way in hell you were going to sit at home and wait around while Arlie was headed to the emergency room.

-

Despite getting to go to the hospital, Chris made you wait in the car which caused another argument but in the end you decided to give up and wait for them there, he was supposed to call you when they were being seen by a doctor so you could come in, but he sent you photos of him and Arlie cuddled up in the waiting room with a fuzzy blanket over the two of them. Arlie’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. It was only about 45 minutes until Chris called you, putting two masks on you quickly exited the car and found your way through the waiting room and over to the nurse standing with Chris and Arlie

“m-momma hold pwease”

You frowned at the sadness in her voice before reaching out to take her into your arms 

“I’ve got you baby, we’ll get you feeling better”

The sounds of her coughs and the stuffiness in her nose made your heart break, little whimpers escaping her ever few minutes. You were so thankful it didn’t take long to get in to see a doctor, and it ended up being Arlie’s regular paediatrician Dr.Charlie

“Well, this is a surprise, hi guys, what’s going on?”

Chris looked at you before sitting up straighter in his chair 

“Arlie’s been getting sick the past few days, and today it’s gotten worse, she has a pretty nasty sounding cough, and I’ve noticed her struggling to breathe sometimes, that with a fever that will not go away, the only time I feel like she isn’t uncomfortable is when she’s asleep”

Dr. Charlie frowned nodding her head as she looked at Arlie who was resting against your shoulder, making a few notes before grabbing her stethoscope 

“Alright, well that does worry be so what I am going to do is listen to her chest and her lungs to see if I can figure out the reason behind what’s got her feeling so icky”

You nodded and sat Arlie up which she wasn’t too happy about, a pout on her face 

“Hi Arlie, can I listen to your chest sweet girl?”

She nodded and Dr. Charlie began to take a listen, getting Arlie to take deep breaths if she could, listening intently before going through a routine check-up, a few coughing fits had her doctor frowning 

“Alright, well her fever is certainly high but luckily enough I can administer some medication to bring that down a bit, I’d recommend giving her a lukewarm bath when you get home, I know it’s late, but it will help.”

You nodded, Chris placing his hand on your knee, squeezing it for some comfort

“I think she has an upper respiratory infection mixed with a sinus infection, so I am going to send you home with some pretty heavy medication for her because I don’t want this to get any worse, it’s pretty severe as it is now, but I also don’t think we need to keep her here overnight”

“Okay, thank you do much Dr. Charlie, we really appreciate it”

She sent you a small smile 

“Of course, now I will say with you being far along with your pregnancy, and your due date coming up soon, you shouldn’t be as involved when she’s this sick, we just can’t risk anything with the baby”

Even though you knew she was going to suggest that it still broke your heart, and you couldn’t help the tears that lined the bottom of your eyes 

“I understand...”

Dr. Charlie sent you a sad smile before Chris got up to take Arlie from you, pulling his mask down for a moment to press a quick kiss to your forehead. You collected the medication from Arlie’s doctor before taking a few more notes from her and leaving the hospital, it wasn’t the most amazing news in the world, but you were more than happy to have a solution to get your baby feeling better. 

-

Chris could tell you were in a bad mood once he put Arlie down to bed after her bath and a few doses of her new medicine, you were all pouty in bed rubbing some oil on your very large belly, a nightly routine that Chris often loved to watch you complete 

“Baby?”

You looked up at him 

“Hmm?” 

“I know you’re upset with the news from the doctor, but I hope you know it’s only to keep you safe and keep the little man healthy…I hate seeing you so down”

You shrugged moving to get your cream, but Chris beat you to it before applying it to your legs, massaging the tensions out of your calves and then down to your feet, even if you were frustrated you couldn’t help the happy sighs that left your lips as his knuckles pushed into your heel 

“I just feel helpless, I know she’ll be okay because she has you to take care of her, but I have never sat out like this…”

He hummed in response 

“I know, but my mom and your mom are coming over in the morning to help out and you can still be around her baby, you just need to wear a mask to keep you and the monkey safe, okay?” 

“Okay”

Chris leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips, a goofy smile on his face when you both pulled back 

“How about you lay on your side, and I’ll give you a back massage to make you feel better honey?”

You pretended to think about it for a second 

“I mean I can’t say no to that…”

His laugh filled the room for a few seconds before you got comfy, and he started to work on all the sore spots that littered your upper and lower back. The news from tonight wasn’t the news any parents would love to receive but you knew Arlie had the best dad in the world and Chris would be the best nurse for her, not to mention the loving support of both your mother-in-law and your own mother. You couldn’t help but feel a little helpless at the fact that you were told to stay away from your baby girl so you wouldn’t get sick, but you knew deep down with the due date of your baby boy coming up, you and Chris didn’t want to risk a thing. So, if you had to settle for watching Arlie get better at a bit of a distance, you’d do just that, no matter how hard it would be. 

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

The hazbin hatedom is getting out of hand for me it's really cringe. Your thoughts

I have mixed opinions on this. So beforehand, I am going to say that this is a longer post from me, and I appreciate the anonymous message! <3 I will be talking about this specific question, as well as my interpretation, thoughts, and overall feelings on this matter. Please feel free to reblog, like, and comment your opinions and keep it civil. I want to have a friendly discussion, no matter how brash I seem: this is brutal honesty coming from my heart.

For those who have ZERO clue: Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are dark "comedy" shows for an adult audience, created by Vivienne "Vivziepop" Medrano, originally airing on YouTube. Helluva Boss is currently in its second season, while we have yet to find out anything else on Hazbin Hotel, as it is now a part of A24 and BentoBox. They center on the same setting, Hell, but have two different plot lines.

Hazbin Hotel is redemption focused, led by Princess Charlie Morningstar, the daughter of Lucifer. She wants to help the sinners in Hell become good and go up to heaven to avoid the yearly Exterminartion, aka a Purge. Helluva Boss, however, is about a murdering business called I.M.P., with Blitz, Millie, Moxxie, and Loona, going up to Earth with a grimoire that is provided by Stolas of the Ars Goetia, a prince. So here we go, into the Depths and reasoning of this post: the Hatedom. So lo and behold, my answer below.

On one hand, yes. The Hazbin Hatedom is a bit over the top. Yes, people are assholes. However, the Vivziepop stans who don't want to admit their precious senpai Vivziepop has done some pretty fucked up shit in the past. The hate can be unnecessary, but you know what else can be unnecessary? The toxic stans. I follow #vivziepop for certain analysis portrayals and criticism, or just general news. Sometimes people are tiresome. This is no exception.

I am falling out of the fandom because it can be toxic. I enjoy most of the characters, but other than that? Helluva Boss's current writing is NOT good. At all. The latest episode irked me to no end. I'm unimpressed with Seeing Stars. I am not very happy that they are forcing Stolitz down our throats as an "uwu pwease wove us" type of bullshit ship. I would much rather prefer Blitz and Stolas to be friends. I wished Stolas had his pilot personality and not the "uwu im a gay, tragic prince with a shitty wife, feel bad for me" bird we know in the series.

Moxxie in the latest episode is bitchy. He got on my nerves and was pissed at Millie being happy. This girl deserves more screentime (and I'm glad she got some of it) but seriously...Millie is always there for Moxxie, and Moxxie needs to reciprocate.

They made Stella seem stupid, when in reality, and if written properly, she can be a cunning and calculating villain with her brother. We've yet to see how Octavia and Stella interact, but I'm unsure.

I have definitely tried to keep my mouth shut as much as I could on this matter, because when I finally openly admit how I feel, it's not a pretty thing, especially with something that I'm so passionate about. Animation takes time, writing takes time, scripting, acting, everything takes so much time, and this is wasted potential. We can have so much better than just a fan-ficcy type rom-com, dark humor, sexual humor schtick. It's getting annoying, and I fear the worst when it comes to Hazbin Hotel.

Criticism is welcome here! Let me know what I left out. I'm willing to hear other opinions, so long as they're nice. If anons start flooding my inbox and getting mad, anons are off. Anon is a privilege, not a right.

[youngcreature28]

It kills me that you're not around - part 2

Read on a03

Harry wakes up with a jolt, looking around the room blearily for the cause of his sleep disturbance. He takes notice of his alarm clock, displaying that the time is 3:48 am and groans tiredly.

He listens out for a minute before laying back down after not hearing anything.

He’s just starting to fall asleep again, a miracle in itself when he notices the quiet whimpers coming from the baby monitor. He squints at the screen, noticing that it’s Charlie’s monitor making the noise.

Harry rubs his eyes in exhaustion before dragging himself out of bed.

He scratches absently at his stomach as he walks into Charlie’s starlit room. He doesn't bother turning the ceiling light on, knowing it would only make him more upset.

Harry notices that Charlie is hiding under his covers and frowns softly at the sad sight.

“It’s okay Charlie bear, daddy’s here now."

Charlie whimpers again in response but Harry can see two tiny arms reach out from beneath the duvet.

Harry lifts the duvet back, climbs over the safety railing and slides under the covers. Charlie immediately latches on, making soft sounds of distress, not yet crying.

Harry combs his fingers through his curls and feels Charlie relax into his arms. “What happened my love, did you have another bad dream, baby?”

Harry feels Charlie shake his head negatively and ponders what else could have happened. “Do you want to tell daddy what happened or do you just want daddy to hold you?”

“Los’ Twig” Charles mumbles into Harry's chest, fists tightening on Harry's sleep shirt. “Oh no love” Harry exclaims softly, trying to sound understanding of his son’s distress.

“Can daddy help Charlie find Twig, or do you want a cuddle first?”

Charlie’s head snaps up so fast that Harry almost gets whiplash for him.

His eyes are wide and pleading as he nods furiously.

“Pwease dada."

Harry gets out of the bed with Charlie in his arms and begins to softly call out to the stuffed giraffe, not loud enough to wake Mia.

“Twig, where are you? Charlie’s been looking for you buddy." Harry searches in Charlie’s bedding, knowing the teddy had to be in the room because Charlie can’t fall asleep without it.

“Twiiiggg” he calls again as he looks around the floor. “Come on silly boy, where did you run off to?” Charlie giggles tiredly at Harry’s antics and calls out for Twig. “Twig, come back."

Harry suddenly drops to a squat dramatically causing Charlie to laugh harder. He shushes the boy softly before reaching his free arm underneath the bed.

Harry exclaims in triumph as he feels something soft touch his hand. Harry pulls out the giraffe, gasping dramatically in shock. “There he is Charlie, I guess he was playing hide and seek with you buddy."

Charlie gasps in shock, reaching out for his friend. “Twig mornin pway."

“That’s right buddy, we play in the daytime, not at bedtime. Maybe you and Twig could play hide and seek in the morning?”

Charlie nods in agreement, snuggling into Twig, already beginning to fall asleep again.

Ah, to have the ability to fall asleep immediately no matter the time or situation, Harry wishes he still could do that.

But he’s alone now.

His bed is cold and empty.

And sleeping without the love of his life, after 9 years of sharing a bed changes things and it truly did fuck up his sleep schedule.

So fuck you, Louis Tomlinson. He hasn’t been able to fall straight to sleep or even have a full, energising night’s sleep since their final night together.

Shaking his head to get rid of that thought process, knowing it only brings pain and tears, Harry focuses his attention back on Charlie.

Charlie’s eyes are fluttering closed, almost fully asleep as he relaxes.

Thankfully he doesn’t need a change or Harry would be screwed.

Charlie had gotten his light sleeping, whilst Mia had gotten Louis’ deep sleeping.

“Fanks dada, wuv ya." Harry’s heart fills with love for his boy, still not believing that he was this lucky to have raised two loving, brilliant children.

“I love you too baby, more than you could ever know. I’ll always keep you safe."

Harry stands again, knees aching as they crack from squatting down too long. Harry makes his way over to Charlie’s bed and places the now sleeping boy back in.

He tucks the duvet around the boy and his teddy, so he won’t fall out of bed again.

Harry gently moves his curls off his forehead before kissing his head. Harry makes his way over to Mia’s room to make sure they hadn’t woken her up with their adventure.

He peeks in chuckling when he sees that she is now laying at the end of the bed, spread like a starfish. Harry gently picks her up before tucking her back into bed, checking her diaper briefly.

“I love you baby” Harry kisses her forehead and sees her blow a kiss back in her sleep, filling Harry’s heart further. He couldn’t love his kids more than he does, they are his everything, he doesn’t know how he would have survived without them in his life.

Probably wouldn’t have.

Harry finally climbs back into his now cold bed, checking the time again. 4:26 am.

Harry scrubs his face in exhaustion, knowing he probably wouldn’t be getting to sleep anytime soon. Harry knows he can’t keep surviving on 2 to 6 hours of sleep a night, but he doesn’t have much of a choice at the moment.

He’s doing the best he can without him there.

He lays back down, closing his eyes, hoping to get a few more hours of shut eye before the twins wake him up. Maybe one day things would be different for them, better even.

Ha, good luck with that, you know you'll never truly be happy without him, he thinks bitterly before trying to fall asleep.

* * * * * * * *

Harry wakes up to the beautiful sound of his children’s laughter. He just wishes he wasn’t hearing it so early as they jump on his mattress, trying to wake him from his slumber.

Harry really hates being right sometimes.

Yes, he eventually got back to sleep, but not until around 6:00 am and it’s now 7:40 am.

A total of 4 hours of sleep, so he’s going to need all the extra energy he can get.

“Daddy up, up, up” they cheer together, still jumping around his prone body.

“Shhh, daddy’s sleeping."

“Nooooo, takin” Charlie protests.

“I’m talking in my sleep” Harry corrected, face tucked in his pillow to cover his smirk.

Mia laughs cheekily before launching herself onto his stomach. Harry groans dramatically in pain, although it does sting. “You’ve killed me, Mia, I can never make pancakes again."

Charlie gasps in shock, crawling up Harry’s legs to get to his face. He begins to shake Harry’s head with his tiny hands barely covering half of his defined cheeks.

“Daddy ‘wake."

Harry plays dead, tongue out to the side for a few more seconds, but not long enough that Charlie gets scared for real.

Harry moves fast, arms wrapping around both of his kids and bringing them closer.

He rolls over so they are beneath him before pretending to devour their bellies. “Grrrrr, num num num, my favourite snack” the twins laugh hysterically, pushing Harry’s face away, tiny hands barely able to move his head.

“I gotcha now” Harry declares, laughing with them before moving away as they pant in exhaustion.

“Dada Wie” Mia teases, a devious look on her face.

“Excuse me, little miss, I am a perfect angel who has never done anything wrong in his life. Daddy never lies, I just pretend sometimes."

Mia narrows her eyes, not quite understanding what Harry was saying but knowing enough to know that Harry is full of shit.

“Uh huh, sure daddy."

Clutching his chest in mock horror Harry picks her up and tosses her away gently, making sure she lands safely on the bed. “How dare you, daddy’s gonna get you for that."

Mia hides behind her brother, laughing hysterically at their silly game. She loves sassing Harry and acting cheeky when they talk.

“Nooooo, ‘tect me Lee."

Puffing his chest bravely, Charlie stands in front of his sister blocking Harry’s view. “I hewe now."

“Oh no I can’t defeat two kiddos, what am I supposed to do now?” They giggle evilly, sticking their tongues out at him.

Harry holds a straight face for all of 10 seconds before he’s laughing too. They calm down as Harry pulls them in for a cuddle.

“Okay, my loves, what’s for breakfast today?”

Breakfast is the meal that he usually allows whatever breakfast food they want, lunch and dinner are usually more nutritious meals (although Harry still loves his takeaway meals).

“Bac’n” Mia cheers, reaching out for Harry, fists opening and closing. Harry places her on his hip, smoothing her wild bed hair down.

“Pa’cake” Charlie grins toothily, picking Twig up off the bed and allowing Harry to pick him up as well.

“Pancakes and bacon it is, although I’m gonna have to steal some just for that little attitude of yours” Amelia claps her hand in excitement, placing a wet kiss of gratitude on Harry’s cheek, giggling as his stubble tickles her.

“I share wif daddy."

“Thank you, love, you’re so sweet."

Harry walks downstairs, placing the twins on the couch before setting up the younger kids’ channel.

Harry watches as they become engrossed in Charlie and Lola, Charlie’s current favourite show because he shares a name with Lola’s brother.

Harry walks into the kitchen and begins preparing breakfast, also making a smoothie and coffee for himself, knowing he would need the energy today after his lack of sleep.

* * * * * * * *

“Daddy, cucu’ber want choccy mik” the stuffed dinosaur or better known as cucumber in question is held between Mia’s outstretched hands.

“Cucumber wants chocolate milk huh?” “Uh huh,” Mia nods enthusiastically, her head bobbing up and down adorably.

“Has cucumber been a good boy?” Harry questions, deciding to go along with her amusing antics. “Duh daddy” Harry raises his eyebrow at her sass and she quickly backtracks with a cheeky grin.

“Yes daddy, cucu’ber good."

Harry hides his grin, not wanting to make her feel like he is laughing at her. “Well if he's been a good boy, I suppose if he were to bring his breakfast plate in he could give a glass of chocolate milk” Mia’s eyes light up as she runs back to clear the table.

Harry shakes his head and chuckles softly, god he loves that kid and her sassy antics.

“Charlie bear, if you want chocolate milk, please bring your plate to daddy” Harry calls out to the toddler playing hide and seek in the living room.

He listens out for a gasp of excitement before beginning to make two small glasses of chocolate milk.

Once the milk is made, Harry begins loading the dishwasher. Charlie and Mia come in together, holding a plastic plate, fork and sippy cup each.

Harry takes the dishes, praising them for their help. “Thank you for your big help, daddy’s made your chocolate milk. I’ll give it to you in a second, okay?”

Amelia begins to pout at having to wait, brow furrowed in distaste.

“Now daddy." She stomps her socked foot against the hardwood floor, crossing her arms in front of her. Her pout deepens, but Harry knows better than to give in to her attitude.

Harry makes sure to stay calm, even with as little energy as he has. “Amelia, please wait for daddy to finish loading the dishes. I’ve got my hands full and I can’t give you your drink until I’ve put the dishes down” he explains to the toddler.

She still doesn’t look pleased, her little hands now on her hips moodily, but she doesn’t argue further.

Harry sighs in relief at the beginning of a temper tantrum not turning into something more, knowing that Amelia can and will hold a grudge for days, she definitely gets that from him.

Something that his mum is constantly reassuring him about when he questions Amelia’s behaviour.

He knows it’s normal for toddlers to go through stages but he hopes she outgrows this one soon.

Harry swiftly turns on the dishwasher before washing his hands. He grabs the two sippy cups before handing the yellow one to Charlie and the red one to Mia, knowing they would fight over the colour if he let them choose.

“How do you both feel about going to aunt Gemma’s house for a play and lunch?” Gemma had texted him before breakfast, asking if he and the twins wanted to come over today, with Michal being away for work.

Mia jumps up and down in excitement and Harry can’t be more grateful that they are still young enough to need a lid on their drinks.

“Livvy?” Charlie asks. “Yeah, Olivia will be there too, Charlie bear. Maybe she’ll even let you both play with her if you’re gentle."

The twins nodded in agreement, already knowing how to handle the cat. They adore Olivia, and his mum’s cats and ask about them every day.

Harry’s not ready to be a single father and has pets to raise on top of it all.

Maybe one day in the future he’ll get them a pet of their own, but for now, this will have to do.

Fuck he still misses Clifford and Bruce every day.

* * * * * * * *

Harry is driving to Gemma’s house, the twins in the back babbling to each other about something that Harry can not understand without paying full attention, they’re still working on their vocabulary, them being only 2 years old.

Harry knows that they speak better than most toddlers, but most of the time it’s still a jumble of sounds and broken words that only Harry can begin to understand as their father.

Most people who talk to them need Harry to translate their speech.

He sings along to the ending of juice by his favourite female artist, Lizzo.

Harry makes a plan to text her later, he hasn’t been able to see her in a couple of months. She’s one of the few people who know about the twins and she loves spoiling them.

Harry received a package from her two weeks ago, containing a whole bunch of presents. Harry had sent her a rough copy of his album and she had wanted to do something to show her love in return.

Harry listens as the radio plays a couple of ads before the next song begins. It ends up being vaguely familiar and he can’t help but groan in annoyance, he’s not in the mood to deal with the memories the voice brings back.

Harry reaches out to change the station but Amelia shouts in protest. “No daddy, wisen pwease.” It’s one of her favourites of Louis’ and Harry knows he can’t deny her. “Sorry baby, you can listen."

He listens as they begin to sing along to the best of their abilities. As much as he didn’t want to listen, Harry can’t help but smile as he sees them in the mirror, dancing and having the time of their lives.

Fuck he loves them.

“I miss you when I least expect it I miss the way you feel on my lips And I don't know when I'll see you again I miss you when I least expect it

So when are you coming home Home When are you coming home Home”

As long as he has a say in the matter, you will never see him again, Louis.

Harry thinks he’s heard this one a couple of times. It’s from Louis’ second album that had been released recently. Amelia already knows most of the words (or she technically thinks she’s singing the words, but most sound like mumbles) to his songs.

As much as he hates it, Harry can’t help but love the song. Everything Louis creates is beautiful and their breakup doesn’t change that. He’s talented and Harry can appreciate good music without being ignorant.

He allows Louis' soft, raspy voice to wash over him.

“Feelings were fleeting but now I'm surrounded Visions of you shaved into the side of my head And as I sleep on the other side of the country I wonder how it feels to be safe in the palm of your hand

And I just want to go home Home I just want to go home Home”

As often as he is forced to listen to Louis’ songs for his kid’s sake, Harry tries not to pay attention and overthink the lyrics. It never actually works and he spends days trying to dissect every detail of the songs. Whether they’re about him, if Louis has moved on or it’s Louis’ way of saying ‘fuck you’ once more.

Because in songs like this, they’re about Louis wanting his love to come back to him, about how he misses them. If it was about Harry, then why is he making it out like Harry had left him?

Louis had made his decision, if he was really so miserable without Harry, he would have crawled back to Harry and begged to be taken back. But, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

“I don't take spoonfuls of romanticism in my tea But this is not a love song It's my truth I have to speak Oh, you are so important to me And I won't let you go I won't let you go”

Harry snorts quietly at that, rolling his eyes. ‘You’re so important to me’ and ‘I won't let you go’ as if those words weren't spoken to him everyday, only to be broken in the end. Speak whatever truth you need to Louis, Harry thinks, just make sure it is actually the truth before announcing it to the world.

“'Cause wherever you are is home Home Wherever you are is home Home I miss you when I least expect it I miss the way you feel on my lips And I don't know when I'll see you again So won't you please come home Home Won't you please come home home”

Harry lets out a relieved sigh when the song ends, being careful to not let his bitterness show and influence Amelia’s love of Louis. Despite it all, Harry still knows Louis deserves all of the love and hype he gets, should be getting more if he’s honest. He would never want to take this away from Amelia, not when she is able to connect with and love her father without even knowing him.

After a few more songs, thankfully none from him, the band or the solo members, they arrive in front of Gemma’s place.

Harry decided to carry the twins to the door, not wanting them to wander off trying to find Olivia outside when she’s more of an inside cat.

Harry doesn’t bother knocking, knowing that gem is probably waiting in the backyard for them.

He decides to call out anyway.

“We’re here Gemma, you outside?”

The sound of the back door opening causes the twins to try and wiggle out of his arms.

They’re quickly placed on the ground before Harry drops them.

“Hey guys” Gemma finally appears, arms open for a hug. Harry doesn’t hesitate to snuggle into her arms, he’s always been huge on touch and affection and his family have always embraced it.

Harry feels two small arms wrap around him as the kids join in on the hug. Harry and Gemma share a look, sending a knowing look to the other.

Before the twins know what has hit them, they have them lifted and squished between them.

Harry laughs as they giggle brightly, his favourite sound in the world. They stay cuddled for a minute longer before the twins get impatient and want to get down again.

A blur rushes past and Charlie is already toddling after as fast as his unsteady legs can take him.

“Remember to be gentle and ask permission before you touch Olivia, please Charlie” Harry hears a brief noise of agreement in return.

While this was occurring, Mia started rambling about her day to a patient looking Gemma. She always looks interested and inviting, and Amelia thrives on the attention.

All positive attention, really.

Harry doesn’t interrupt, allowing them to have a moment together.

Before long, Mia’s running off after Charlie and Olivia and Gemma is focusing back on Harry.

“Do you want a cuppa?” Harry nods in appreciation and they walk towards the kitchen.

Gemma sets out making them both a cup of tea while Harry pours the twins a glass of organic, freshly squeezed orange juice.

Gemma had already set out a late lunch for them. There was an array of triangle cut sandwiches and some chopped fruit and biscuits.

Harry makes Charlie a plate of two ham and cheese sandwich slices, some banana, strawberries, apples and mango with a hard boiled egg and a chocolate shortbread biscuit for after lunch.

For Amelia, he grabbed two chicken salad sandwiches, some banana, strawberries, mango and oranges with a hard boiled egg and a jammie dodger.

After finishing making the tea, Gemma makes her plate while Harry makes his own.

Eventually, the twins wander in, hungry for lunch. Harry washes their hands from petting Olivia before grabbing their plates to take outside.

They had all decided to head outside to eat lunch and then play in the area Gemma had set up just for them last year.

When Amelia reviews her plate, her green eyes crinkle in excitement.

“Jame doge bes’."

Jammie Dodgers are her favourite biscuits and she would eat them all day if she could.

Charlie loves anything chocolate, but his favourite was surprisingly sour food. He loves lemon and green apples so much that he will eat a lemon as is.

Sometimes Harry will buy sour candy for him, but he has yet to give him anything too extreme or hard. When he’s older he definitely will, but right now, Charlie’s satisfied with the candy he does buy occasionally.

Harry glances around his family with a smile as they eat their lunch. Today has been good, no crying or tantrums so far and the weather is surprisingly warm for England.

The weather had started overcast but the sun had started to come out. Harry’s now glad that he had thought to put sunscreen on anyway.

“Thanks for the food Gem." “Fanks Aun Gem” Amelia smiles, jam smeared around her mouth. Charlie hops down with the help of Harry and wraps his arms around Gemma’s stomach in thanks, preferring actions over words. Gemma picks him up onto her lap, not minding the sticky hands touching her shirt.

“I’m glad you all liked it."

Harry wipes Mia’s face and hands while Gemma does the same to Charlie. Mia squirms and tries to escape, hating when Harry cleans her face.

“Pway daddy?” Harry glances up at Charlie’s voice and pretends to ponder the question. “Hmm I don’t know Gem, what do you think? Should we let them play now?”

A finger to her lips, Gemma tries not to break character as Charlie pleads with puppy dog eyes.

“I guess I could be persuaded to let them play, I might even have a surprise in the sandpit” Mia gasps in excitement, clapping her hands together.

“Pwease aun Gem” Charlie joins in until Gemma finally caves. “Okay then, go and see."

They toddle over to the sandpit, holding hands so Charlie doesn’t trip. Gemma had already taken the roof off for them in preparation.

Harry hears two loud gasps and looks over, a smile gracing his face as he sees the surprise.

It turns out that Gemma had somehow turned the sand light blue. The twins immediately climb in and start building their creations.

“Don’t forget to say thank you to aunt Gemma."

They glance over and call out a big thank you. “You’re welcome kiddos, I’m glad you like it."

Gemma turns to Harry and smiles. “Thanks for that Gem, they’re going to be talking about that to everyone they meet” Harry is thankful that his whole family has been supportive and a major help during the past few years.

They adore the twins and love to spoil them rotten.

“How are you doing Harry? What have you been up to?” Harry ponders the question, they see each other once or twice a week and text or call every day so there’s not much new with him that she wouldn’t already know.

“Well, as you know I’m just finishing up the final touches of my new album so I’ve started to do more promoting online lately."

Gemma nods. “Yeah, I saw that, the fans seem excited." Harry grins. “They have been waiting for this and I’m glad it’s almost ready for them, I hope they love it as much as I do. To be honest, I think that they’ll be happy no matter what now that I’ve put medicine and Anna officially on there."

Gemma gives him a knowing look, the fans had taken to asking her to tell her brother to release an official audio of the unreleased songs.

“How have the kids been? I know Charlie’s been feeling better recently and he’s become more outgoing. He never would have run off with Olivia without you there a couple of months ago."

“He’s become more confident and he’s able to be away from me more now, as long as he has Twig or Mia there with him. His therapist has been amazing throughout this. Amelia is still her usual clumsy self and falls almost every day, but she’s gotten good at her dance classes and she’s surprisingly balanced and almost graceful when she’s dancing."

“I’ll have to come to watch them again soon” Gemma suggests, causing Harry to agree. “They’d love that, they have their first concert coming up soon, so I’m nervous about how they are going to handle dancing in front of a large crowd."

Harry shakes his head to change the subject, trying not to think about the anxiety he feels. “Enough about me, how are you and Michal?”

The mention of her boyfriend brings a grin to Gemma’s face. “We’re doing really well, I don’t know if we’re telling people yet but we’ve started talking about trying for kids” she smiles sheepishly, a nervous yet happy look in her eyes. Her brother's reaction means everything to her, she wants his honest opinion about it even if they’re not married.

Harry’s eyes widen, a bright grin exploding on his face. “Gem” he whispers softly, his eyes full with happy tears. “I’m so happy for you, love. You’ll make the best mum."

Gemma’s eyes fill with emotional tears as she chuckles wetly. “Thank you, Harry, I love you” Gemma wipes her eyes. “Now stop crying, you're making me cry. Do you think it will matter that I’m not married yet and already planning kids?."

Harry laughs and wipes his own eyes. Fuck he’s emotional at the moment.

“I can’t help it. I’m so excited to be an uncle. I love you so much” Harry takes a calming breath. “No, I don’t think you should dedicate everything you do around marriage, it’s fine if you want kids before marriage or if you never want to get married at all."

Gemma releases a sigh of relief. “Thank you for being so understanding, H” Harry grabs her hand and squeezes reassuringly. “If there’s anything I can do, don’t hesitate to call."

They chat for a while longer and Harry is thinking about putting the kids down for a nap before they become crabby and tired. Before long Mia comes over and pulls at Harry’s arm, trying to get his attention.

“Daddy, needa wee."

She’s doing her little dance, legs squeezing together in desperation. “Let’s go my love” Harry’s quick to react, knowing that the toddler's bladder can be unpredictable and she could have an accident at any moment. Harry picks her up and leads her to the downstairs toilet.

They make it just in time.

She’s been getting better at telling him when she needs to, instead of telling him as she’s going or is too far gone and doesn’t make it in time.

He’s going to keep the nappies on anyway, they’re still not quite ready to be completely potty trained.

Amelia yawns loudly, resting her head on the crook of Harry’s neck, deciding for Harry about his plans for their nap.

Harry lifts her onto the sink to wash her hands. “How are you, today love?” He begins to dust the sand off into the sink, knowing it’s now nap time, he doesn’t want her to sleep in sand.

She turns around and hugs his neck again. “Good daddy. Wove you” Harry presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you too baby. You’re my favourite girl in the whole wide world."

Amelia grins toothily. “Bes’ daddy in wowld."

Harry places her legs around his stomach and sways them back and forth, dancing gently together.

He sings ‘adore you’ into her hair, knowing that it’s her favourite song.

When the song is over, Harry glances in the mirror and notices that she’s fallen asleep in his arms.

He stays there, swaying back and forth, soaking in the time he gets to spend with her. A day will come when she doesn’t want to be carried and Harry tries to cherish every moment she does.

Eventually, his arms become tired and he brings her to the spare room that Gemma had set up for when the twins come over.

He places her on the bed and shushes her, keeping a hand on her chest when she stirs. She settles back down and falls into a deeper sleep.

Harry makes his way back outside and sees Gemma and Charlie playing pirates together.

“Hi, baby” Charlie looks up and grins at him.

“Hi daddy, missed you."

“I missed you too bubba, but I’ll bet Gemma’s fun spending time with her adorable nephew."

Harry places a hand on Gemma's shoulder and whispers in her ear. “I’m going to warm up some milk, Mia’s already down."

“Let me know when you're done and I’ll bring him inside."

Harry grabs Twig off the outdoor table and goes to prepare a bottle of warm milk, something that he rarely needs to do anymore.

Today Charlie’s going to be hyped up from playing and won’t want to go down for a nap, but Harry knows that he always falls asleep with a bottle now that Harry no longer breastfeeds them.

He calls them in when the bottle is warm and reaches down to cradle Charlie.

“Thanks for dusting him off,” Gemma nods with a smile and makes her way to the toilet herself.

“Hi baby, have you had a good day?”

Charlie nods in Harry’s arms, gripping Twig in one hand and Harry in the other. “Uh huh. Mia?” Harry adores the love the twins have for each other, always looking out for the other.

“Mia fell asleep, but you’ll see her again soon” Charlie doesn’t reply, mouth opening for the bottle impatiently, making small sounds of annoyance when Harry doesn’t immediately give him what he wants. Harry finally presses the bottle's nipple into Charlie’s mouth and he makes a happy, content sound at the taste.

Harry reclines on the lounge and gazes into Charlie’s eyes as he feeds. Charlie smiles around the nipple as Harry pulls a funny face.

Moments like these are his favourite. The quiet one on one time where they can be happy. He misses the closeness breastfeeding the twins had brought to their relationships. He doesn't miss the soreness or tiny teeth biting his nipples or the cracked, dry skin they left him with. Still, if he ever got the opportunity, he would breastfeed his baby every time.

Harry kisses Charlie's forehead as his eyes begin to stay closed longer with each blink. “I love you."

Charlie mumbles around the bottle and Harry knows he’s trying to repeat the sentiment.

The bottle is empty as Charlie finally falls asleep in Harry’s warm arms. Harry places the bottle beside him and gently rocks Charlie in his sleep, a small burp escaping as he does.

Harry stands as Gemma walks back in. “I’m going to put him down, then we can talk more."

“I’ll make us some more tea."

Charlie is placed in the bed next to Mia and they immediately gravitate toward each other.

They cling together and Charlie makes a happy noise in his sleep as Mia hugs him.

Phone in hand, Harry snaps a few photos of the adorable sight before heading back out. He had taken way too many photos and videos today, since in the sandpit, since while holding a sleeping Mia and since whole feeding Charlie.

Harry has thousands of photos, wanting to preserve the memories and be able to look back fondly when they’re grown up.

Gemma leaves the tea in the kitchen to cool and meets Harry in the lounge room. They settle next to each other and begin where they left off outside.

* * * * * * * *

A loud ringing fills the air and Harry reaches for his phone in this pocket, briefly pausing to talk to Gemma about heading to the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back,” she nods in acknowledgment and Harry already knows she’ll keep an ear out for the twins while he’s gone.

In the kitchen, Harry looks at his display screen and sees a number he doesn’t recognise. He grabs his glass of water before bringing the phone to his ear and answering the phone.

The phone has been ringing for a while and Harry knows he just made it before it went to voicemail.

“Hello?” Harry knows that only people of importance hold this number, so he answers even with it being an unknown number.

“Hi there, this is Sasha Balandin from BMG records, how are you today?” The tiny voice answers.

A sharp gasp gets stuck in his throat, dread filling every inch of his body. “Fine” his voice comes out in a croak causing him to clear his throat and try again. “I’m fine thank you, what can I do for you?”

“Is this Harry Styles speaking?”

“This is he." There’s no point in denying it, they know who he is, it’s just a formal way of greeting him. They wouldn’t be calling unless they knew it was his number.

“Hi Harry, I’m calling to let you know that everything is finally ready, later than originally planned with the band's contract switching over to us we had to reevaluate and change a lot."

She takes a moment to breathe and Harry hopes she isn’t about to say what he thinks she is, but when has he ever been that lucky? “We can now thankfully tell you that the planned reunion is all set to go ahead once the details and any requests have been sorted."

The glass slips and shatters.

And with it Harry’s heart.

[note-katha]

TWC 6: The Well-Read Characters

Chapter 6: The Well-Read Characters

*insert read more but I'm on Mobile*

    “So, uh,” Ion started, looking at the black cloud that was now growing, free of the restraints of the white void room. “Should I apologize for that?”

    “No,” Aspen answered, “It’s Notey’s fault for not telling giving even the slightest hint that you shouldn’t have opened it.”

    “Well, at least now, we’ll probably make some progress?!” Ellienne Emperaire guessed.

    “Or not,” Aspen interjected with his otherworldly knowledge, that knowledge being of the world they came from, “Notey’s probably off socializing and too busy to write any action this chapter, if she even writes it at all.”

    “You know what I like?” Ellienne Emperaire suddenly said, “Socializing! Which I can’t do here! Gosh, Notey why would you do this to me?”

    “But, you’re socializing here with us?” Ion pointed out.

    Ellienne Emperaire paused, “Oh, you right, you right, Ion.” Ellienne Emperaire stopped, realizing something.

    Ion seemed to realize it too, “Why can’t I say my name?” He asked, “I mean, I can say Ion, but not...Ion?” Ion shook his head and frowned, “This isn’t working.”

    “I’m Cayol the Kale, so I don’t really mind,” Cayol offered. “ But, I can say Aspen’s name.”

    “Yeah, because it’s the same name!” Aspen shouted, “When’s that going to become plot relevant in this poor excuse for a fanfiction, huh Notey?!”

    “...Nowotey, pwease, save us?” Cayol decidedly said.

    “Cayol, you’ve just made her more likely to not help us.” Aspen sighed and started to look around. “We’re in a field now, why?” Aspen was growing more and more frustrated. It was like a poorly designed video game in his eyes,

    “Maybe,” Ellienne Emperaire offered, “This is all a plot to allow us to redeem the Malformation!” She pointed at the cloud, utterly serious. “So, Mally, tell us,” Ellienne Emperaire leaned forward, “How do you feel today?”

    The cloud offered no response other than it’s continually growing state. Ellienne Emperaire sighed and tried to come up with another plan, scanning the group before her before settling on one person. An idea struck here.

    “Ion! You’ve written Malformation fanfic! What’s it thinking?” She asked urgently, looking at Ion deadly serious.

    Ion took a step back, raising his hands in defense, “It’s an AU, but I had to ask Notey about everything for the Malformation. I’m all for malformation good but…” He eyed the cloud, “Is that even the Malformation?”

    “If that’s the Malformation…” Cayol started, “And Notey’s the Malformation...then….” She looked up, “Who’s writing this story?!”

    “Plot twist!” Ellienne Emperaire helpfully added. “But, I thought Aspen was the Malformation?”

    “I’m a being of chaos, not an entity. There’s a difference.” After answering the question, Aspen began to look around, for anything really.

    They were in an empty field, well, mostly empty. Not too far off there was a forest of trees and the opposite way looked far too dangerous to even consider but that didn’t mean they should. After all, this was a novel and the easy way was usually the wrong way.

    “Which way do we go?” Ellienne Emperaire asked the group, “I  have no idea, since I’m not the traitor and I don’t know how the story’s gonna go!”

    “Yeah, yeah, Ellienne Emperaire, we get it. You don’t want us to think you’re the traitor.”

    “Ellienne Emperaire, ugh,” Ellienne Emperaire frowned in disgust, “I hate it. Fuck the French and their ‘N’s and ‘E’s and Notey, how dare you give me a name like this!”

    “I dunno, Ellienne Emperaire, it’s kind of funny,” Cayol giggled.

    “Aspen gets to keep his name! Why?”

    “I wish I could tell you,” Aspen muttered. They needed to get back on task, figure out which way to go and what would that do. It was this moment, that Aspen realized something. They still had their blocks and the last time he had thrown something onto the black cloud, he received something from it.

    “Okay, I have an idea!” Aspen announced, “Throw your blocks into the cloud.”

    “But what if it hurts Mally!!!” Ellienne Emperaire gasped, “We can’t do that!”

    “Look, either we stay trapped in here and journey endlessly with no tools of survival or we try to see if we can get something out of this cloud.”

    “But...what if the blocks are our tools of survival?” Ion pointed out.

    “Ion, at least get rid of the cursed block that gave us this black cloud of ambiguous morality.”

    It took a moment, but Ion gave in with a shrug and did his best to throw the empty block into the cloud. It rumbled ominous before spitting something out.

    Another box.

    Everyone was silent for a moment.

    “Oh come ON Notey!” Aspen shouted, “At least develop the plot!”

    Ion picked up the box and examined it, “I don’t think we can open this one as easily, but something tells me we shouldn’t damage it.”

    “Keep it away from Aspen then,” Cayol warned.

    “Wait, Ion,” Ellienne Emperaire started, “How do you know not to break it? Are you the traitor!?”

    “He did get a note that he didn’t disclose to anyone,”Aspen muttered.

    “I’m not a traitor! I promise!”

    No one thought to quickly trust him though.

    “Well, whether you’re the traitor or not,” Aspen started, “I want to get back at Notey. Therefore, I’ll be bringing up her mind control kink.”

    Aspen’s decisions were not appreciated, despite the fact that his existence was.

    “Notey, you’re not allowed to use the narration to sass or compliment me,” Aspen said, again forgetting the fact that he had no power in the realm of the TWC. “Rude. You agreed I was an being of chaos and now you claim I have no power?”

    Aspen, despite bringing up fairly valid points was to be ignored, because the black cloud of ambiguous morality was still growing and beginning to cover the sky in size.

    “We should leave,” Cayol helpfully offered, “Now.”

    “Agreed,” Ellienne Emperaire said, “Nice, safe woods or spooky path that will inevitably lead us to our doom?”

    Everyone wanted to go to the nice and safe woods, but they knew what they had to do.

    Ellienne Emperaire sighed, beginning to lead the way, “Spooky path that will inevitably lead us to our doom!”

~

    The absence of Notey (PST), Aspen (PST), Cole (EST), liv, and Charlie was becoming noticeable. Where had they all gone? School? Work? Had their internet just broken? Despite all these questions, the people were still online, still on Tumblr.

    no-url-ideas-tho had still been posting about her projects and her excitement for them.

    arynneva was still working away at her worldbuilding and sharing small facts about her work.

    writerofwriting had her regular posts rambling incessantly about new projects and ideas.

    spacebrick3 had an AU going regularly each morning.

    superwaywardangel had his queue and was responding when tagged in things.

    So, what was happening?

[cielizzydefencesquad]

*big puppy eyes* nooo, it’s not obnoxious at all! :3 I absolutely love it. Pwetty pwease, share more if you want. I cry why is this the best AU I have ever read. ;-; I’m so happy thank u. Here’s an anime I recommend because I love this parental shit: Hinamatsuri. I laughed and I cried and it has the same kind of vibe. A father learning how to be a dad.

In which Single Mum Seb has to learn how to cook because RC is sick of eating takeout and misses the homemade meals Mama Rachel used to cook so he throws a tantrum until Sebastian gives in, takes the kids to Whole Foods with the intent of buying pasta and sauce but as soon as the kids enter the beautifully overpriced supermarket, chaos erupts.

Finny wants to buy apple blossom seeds even though Sebastian’s all “Finnian J. Phantomhive we did not come to Whole Foods to purchase gardening supplies so you put those $14 seeds down now because I am not shelling out double digits for crap you can find in the middle of the forest.”

To which Finny replies (with big ole eyes): “You said a bad word.”

Erstwhile RC is throwing everything he can get into the shopping cart because he’s a rational kid and doesn’t know when they’ll ever venture out into society again. (“Is Uncle Sebastian a hermit? Does he ever go out?” RC rolled his eyes. “No wonder he’s such a freak, he doesn’t know how to interact with people.”)

But the thing is, RC’s only like 9 so all the foods he’s throwing in are totally random and he’s not the least bit concerned with what’s in and out of season. Right now it’s July but RC’s chucking in spring apricots, cherries, lychee, fall apples and gooseberries, winter plums, autumn persimmons—just everything he finds aesthetically appealing really.

And when Sebastian and Finny walk back to the cart (with Finny holding not one packet of seeds but five because after Sebastian started swearing, the mothers started gasping and pretty soon Seb’s wallet was $70 lighter), Sebastian nearly has a conniption because what the fuck are those things??

To which RC is all “they’re called lychee, Uncle Sebastian.” With his face all smug and pretty while Sebastian is all “I am not feeding three kids under the age of twelve fruit that’s covered in prickly shell shit” but realizes he’s gotta censor himself so he tries to reason with RC but hello, RC’s a Phantomhive.

This is followed by a disgruntled Seb making the worst deal of his life. “Put the lychee back and I’ll let you get strawberries” (but he low-key forgets that RC doesn’t do anything by halves so they buy like 7 cartons of that damn red fruit before Sebastian’s ready to call it quits until he notices Younger Bro Phantomhive has all but vanished)

After three minutes of frantic sprinting about the store, Seb & co find OC with his face pressed against the cake display glass before he turns around, eyes hopeful and asking “pleeeease Uncle Sebastian? Can’t we get just one little cake?”

And Sebastian’s all “Absolutely not.” (Because now he’s using Parenting Book Code #1, never let your kids eat sweets before dinner.)

But OC’s got those luminous sapphire eyes and his lower lip starts to wobble and he’s all “I haven’t had chocolate cake since…since before then.” With a pained expression and his little hands pressed against his heart and even the freaking bakery lady is tearing up but Sebastian is all “I am not about to get conned three times” but at the same time, he can’t just let a 9 year old burst into tears at Whole Foods of all places.

So what does he do?

He actually…behaves like a parent.

Sebastian kneels down (with RC and Finny watching his every move) and going “How about this, instead of cake we can make chocolate fondue. Your brother bought quite a few strawberries and with fondue you don’t even have to use a plate and fork.”

But OC’s still upset and Sebastian is becoming more and more uncomfortable as everyone continues to stare at him like he’s the devil incarnate.

So he goes for broke.

“Do you remember that story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?”

OC nods silently.

“And the chocolate river Mr. Wonka had in his factory? Making fondue would be quite similar to having a chocolate river at home. You can dip anything you’d like into it. Strawberries, cherries—and we can even make different kinds. I remember Vincent telling me you were fond of chocolate, isn’t that right?”

The wobble in OC’s lip is gone and his wide sapphire eyes begin to gleam with excitement as he peeks over Sebastian’s shoulder to see RC and Finny, both thoroughly entranced with Sebastian’s words.

“What do you say?” Sebastian prompts.

(Which is pretty much how Sebastian’s kitchen table gets ruined beyond repair from chocolate stains and his poor, unfortunate assistant finds himself rushing between LA and NYC picking up a new carpet and towels for his very irritated—if somewhat amused—boss.)

I want to see a sitcom of this omg 

Sebastian + 3 kids + supermarket shenanigans XD 

Once again, thank you so much for allowing me to ramble Anon! (＾▽＾)

- mod Nina 

[overly-analogical]

Can Lying Be Good Analysis

SPOILERS

• When Deceit shows up Thomas is very startled. He reacts much the way he used to react when Anxiety popped up. He does not know it’s not Morality but he is suddenly scared. I’m not sure this means anything other than Deceit doesn’t announce himself like Patton does but I think it’s worth noting.

• He also says “Papa’s in the House” which while he doesn’t realize it’s untrue, it’s untrue.

• “Guess who has ten fingers and is very confused? This guy! Heh heh I’m silly like that.” Liar liar pants on fire. He’s not confused or sill and he’s certainly not Patton.

• Roman immediately apologizes to Virgil for calling him Charlie frown, he’s doing so well.

• “Oh good, Logan, everyone’s favorite character!” GUYS MY HEART!!! He says this cause it’s a lie. This is one of his insults that’s backhanded because of who he is and Logan is honestly pleased by this and thinks it’s a genuine compliment. Ouch.

• In loo of Patton Virgil is the moral compass. He’s the one telling Thomas not to lie to Joan cause it’s wrong, Logan is indifferent, Roman wants to lie.

• also can we just? We had a Virgil went missing episode, then a Logan went missing episode, then a Morality (secretly) went missing episode. Is Roman next?

• “Well you’ll have no trouble at all explaining that to them.” Is this a lie? Does he believe it? Can he tell truths? It’s about the future so can it be considered a lie or a truth or is that a gray area.

• Virgil is displeased

•F WORD FACE guys HELP I’m dying that’s hilarious

• Logan’s wise eyes and soft Ooooh when he realizes Thomas wants to lie. He doesn’t tell Thomas it’s wrong, he knows that’s not his job, but he is surprised and doesn’t seem happy about it.

• So I looked into Kant some. The story is actually from Kant and not Plato. Kant believed that Morality is based in reason. It’s trying to do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing, and not as a means to achieve an end that benefits you or others. Saving your friend is what most of us would view is the right thing, but according to Kant, the result of your actions don’t make them right if they would be wrong in other circumstances. Morality is based on reason and truth not lies and manipulation. Interestingly though many people believe that according to Kant’s philosophy you simply could not lie to the murderer, so if you were to say “I will not tell you that because I want to protect this person and I believe you will kill them” then that is not a lie, that is the truth. You are not manipulating their reality, or using them as a means to accomplish your ends. I think Deceit knew all of this but he left it out. I this was a lie of omission.

• I also find it very interesting that it was Kant that Thomas and Joan chose because Kant believes all Morality is based in reason, also known as Logic. I’ll make a separate post for this though cause I want to really get into that on its own.

• Deceit’s rant about Kant is in direct opposition to Patton’s short and factually incorrect statement about Plato and that speaks volumes about them as characters. Deceit usesfancy names and technicalities to manipulate the others while Patton finds the content of the story is more important to his point, and then makes jokes about eating play dough.

• Logan is impressed but also confused. I think he suspects something is off at this point.

• “Well I’m Morality I gotta know my stuff.” No you’re not and that’s not his job anyway, another lie.

• “Impressed isn’t the word I’d use.” Virgil still thinks this is Patton and he’s really disappointed in his friend.

• “The point is many people think Kant is just a bit idealistic.” By this he means many people think Kant was an amoral piece of shit with no regard for the consequences of his actions. Do understatements count as lies?

• “Patton I thought you said Lying was wrong” “well it’s all about your priorities friendo. What’s more important to us, Joan’s feelings or honesty?” I once saw a post on here that said if somebody ever tells you you only have two choices, it’s a lie. It’s a lie and they want you to forget about the other choices. If somebody tells you you can have an apple or an orange they want you to forget you can have and apple or an orange, or both, or neither, or a banana. There’s never just two choices and deceit isn’t just deceit is manipulation.

• when Logan says “see I know things too.” He feels threatened when people know more than him.

• “I can’t lie to Joan.” “Detailed instructions of how to lie to Joan.” Me though.

• Roman breaking the fourth wall about the shapeshifting thing.

“Maybe if you’re considering lying to Joan you deserve to be punished.” Virgil is like. Harsh. He’s really protective of Thomas’s friends. Even from Thomas.

• “Strategy” for lying to Joan. I don’t think Logan can really like this but he’s respecting Thomas’ decisions anyway because hours not his job to ask question moral decisions.

• “DWI” “Driving While Intoxicated” guys I’m crying this is so funny I can’t

• Logan says no so soft and he looks at the back of the card before he tells Roman the real definition because he’s unsure and he’s scared of being wrong.

• “Aww Pwease! Right? You know how I love cartoons?” This an attempt to appear more like morality and assign a reason to take the job Roman really wants which real Patton wouldnt do.

• “you were a mistake” Roman wtf.

• “Doctor Who reference? Fantastic.” Clever and borders on word association. Nice.

• “Roman, that was a beautiful portrayal of a mother betrayed by her son.” It was terrible and Roman just let’s this snake man fool him. Smh.

• “Logan does Thomas have that information?” “No he doesn’t.” My serious son takes this serious question seriously.

• A homeless lady ate it.

• Let👋 Virgil👋 say👋fuck👋!!!!!! Kidding don’t ever.

• I will always find Logan teaching things extremely comforting. Logan is comforting. This is going to be a video I watch when I have a bad day because it has Logan teaching us things.

• “We should makes point to actually feed the homeless later” “totally” wow. He doesn’t agree at all. He doesn’t think they should try to feed the homeless he thinks they should just lie about feeding the homeless.

• Virgil: “what if mom found out”

Logan: “According to Romans portrayal probably some kind of betrayal driven disownment.”

Virgil: “WHAT?!?!?!?!?!”

This is funny because Logan I think is attempting to make a negative remark about Roman’s portrayal of Thomas’ mom but Virgil takes it very seriously and considers it as a real possibility because Logan said it and now he’s afraid.

• “Action! That’s not just for movies!” Maybe he can’t stop talking until he’s told a lie.

• Virgil’s booing.

• Virgil saying nice to the idea of working at hot topic

• “Drama Terg” Deceit does not once refer to any one of them as kiddo.

• Roman feels off after the Lying to get out of work scene and he looks to Patton hoping that, as morality, Patton will put a stop to all this, or reassure him. Deceit isn’t Patton so he doesn’t.

• Virgil is appalled Patton isn’t upset by this.

• Patton is pleased during the case scene.

• Roman announces he’s feeling icky. He’s bad at describing emotions and understanding them too I think. We get descriptions like “icky” or “Bittery Jittery and not very Glittery” when he’s upset.

• “Everyone knows where babies come from. Messenger Falcons.” An attempt at behaving like Patton or a lie for the sake of lying? It’s poorly executed if it’s a Patton imitation. Patton doesn’t believe he knows and he thinks “Storks are involved”, storks are not messenger falcons. No one in the history of the world has ever suggested messenger falcons deliver babies that’s preposterous.

• “And stopping again, Thomas I didn’t believe any of that.” A truth? Or was there a very small part he did believe.

• Roman gets really upset and puts this energy into freaking out over a soppy cup prop.

• Virgil is so ready to be done he completely misinterprets Roman.

• These nerds and their love of the classical arts poetry geeks logince someone write an au dammit.

• “Thomas, you don’t want to make Joan mad at you do you?” Manipulative bastard.

• “Could you stand to lose the support of one of Thomas’ friends?” Playing on Virgil’s insecurity that Thomas’ friends will leave them.

• can we just. Virgil. We’ve talked about Patton probably being scary when angry but not Virgil. We haven’t actually seen Virgil Angry up until now. Mildly annoyed? Concerned? Disappointed? Afraid? Yes. But not genuine anger. Here we see a glimpse and he’s holding back because it’s Patton. Never be on the wrong end of an angry Virgil he’ll kill you with one look.

• “Virgil? it’s me. Aren’t we friends?” “I’m not so sure we are.” I’m pretty sure he still thinks this is Patton. Which means this is a really powerful moment for Virgil. Patton was the first person to really value him in the mind palace and treat him as a friend and an equal. He considers Patton his best friend. This is Virgil, standing his ground even if it means giving up almost all the progress he’s made with the others to do the right thing. It takes great courage to stand up to ones enemies. And a great deal more to stand up to ones friends.

• Deceit realized no part of Thomas is going to budge and he gets desperate.

• “I know what I said, it doesn’t matter, in this situation it’s the right thing to do, period.” His voice starts to chance here it’s nasally.

• he practically shreiks “Yes”

• he drops the act and you can see it visibly the moment he gave up Thomas is such a good actor.

• “wow I’m so proud of you Thomas you’re so mature.” He doesn’t care if Thomas notices somethings off now.

• “I knew something was off” he knew something was off but not what was off. He really didn’t know that wasn’t Patton.

• Logan thinks it’s obvious he figured it out a while ago but didn’t say anything. Probably because he knew he couldn’t. Though he does try to say it here. I really wonder what point he figured it out.

• my sweet oblivious prince.

• “oooh I don’t know either Thomas you might not like what you find.” So Deceit lies to Thomas about himself to keep Thomas happy right? But here he doesn’t care about concealing himself and seems to be goading Thomas so he’ll ask. So he’s lashing out at Thomas because he’s angry Thomas didn’t go with his plan.

• Logan says Deceit much the same way he says Falsehood.

• “Did you just finish washing some dishes?” “Yesss” Deceit seems to take a lot of joy in this specific lie which I find very very funny.

• “Oh, you are, Thomas. You are a good person. Everybody says so.” Daaaaaaamn.

• The exchange between Logan and Deceit. I got chills.

• I am and always have been Patton muahahaha

• the other three are so done with his bs but Thomas is genuinely terrified

• okay but it would be an interesting idea if Deceit has been Morality the whole time. Awful and angsty, but interesting.

• “ow that Hurt, I mean that didn’t hurt me at all ow” he can tell truths, but does he have to tell lies?

• we’ll see him again and I’m looking forward to it. Every story needs a good old fashioned villain.

• Virgil is so happy to hear Patton’s dad jokes again he doesn’t hide his smiles.

• The eating play dough thing has me cracking up but especially the part where Logan was confused and he thought Patton meant he was eating the ancient and very dead philosopher Plato.

• Roman is adorable and he’s a knight and a hero I love him.

End of Analysis thanks for reading.