#morbid thoughts

[the-mouse-in-the-library]

Tw: mentioning cancer, morbid thoughts

Me, fantasizing about having breast cancer so I could have a mastectomy: 'maybe I'm faking all this trans stuff'

[sharonisthebettercarter]

welp.

i just had a fuckin' dark idea.

pretty sure the reason marie specifically was kept alive might be because vicky plans to use her as a patsy.

the aim is u.s. presidency right?

but if neuman is the vp, prez either has to die or step down for her to be prez. probably ain't gonna do that?? just my two cents. she could pop his head. but there are a number of people who know her powers.

sure, there are other ways to do it, but if marie already has a bad rep and they know what her powers are and how they work--

holy FUCK, they may just be keeping her around to pin all the head popping kills on her. and marie would have no fucking clue or defense. she'd be their perfect 'fall guy'. always have a back up, right?

ugh...

excuse me. whiplash and flashes back to stormfront's:

"you're gonna be a big help to me"

and annie's:

"that means she has some sort of fucked up plan for me"

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

morbidity, my mistress, you are unkind and unwell... fuck it, you're cruel and heartless bitch. but as is vought's way of making patsies of children, this is not outside the realm of dark possibility...

[hislittleraincloud]

no way yoir actually 50 your fucking arounf

I was born in 1974.

40 years ago I wrote my first fan fic.

30 years ago I was getting my first tattoos.

20 years ago I stopped writing Potter fic (for the most part, I think I only wrote one since) and instead immersed myself in design work.

10 years ago my entire life blew up (again) and I'm not sure if I've ever been the same.

Inside, I've always been a cranky old man, but my spirit will probably always be trapped in adolescence. My adolescence, which was atypical in a myriad of ways.

ETA:

You might actually repeat yourself if you saw a photo of me. You'd think I was fucking with you, but as late as 2017 I was still getting carded for alcohol, at the Raleigh airport. I was told by the waitress that I looked 19...and she was about that age. At one kiosk, one of the salespeople asked me what my major was because they thought I went to Duke.

My relationship PTSD and depression have aged me since, though. Not the hair, but the face.

[temptressutara]

"I'll gouge your eyes, if I have to, so I'll forever be etch in your memories. "

[moved-to-piersgender]

I wish I didn't have to leave a dead body for other people to have to handle the disposal of when I die, I just wanna go *pop* out of existence and not leave a big ole mess behind when I'm old as fuck and my number's called

[ambidextrousarcher]

It’s actually really sad that when my parents (who I’m really close to irl) ask me ‘what happened to those friends of yours you love talking about? Friends you wrote and shared stories with? You don’t talk much about them these days, is something wrong?’ all I can say with a shrug is that they decided they don’t want to be friends anymore…basically it’s a sad truth some people just (like yours truly) keep loving those who have long since stopped reciprocating, for all that they may still say for the sake of formality that they still love you. Because, in my opinion, you don’t ditch people you love. You don’t abandon them. You stick with them instead, because that’s what my understanding of love is.

[joleenenaylor]

I had a Flickr friend years ago that passed away. I used to scroll through his account now and then and think about that - that he was gone and yet his pictures remained. I wonder if they're still there or if they got deleted when his pro account finally ran out? Then I wonder how long my Flickr photos will stay up.

[phosphenemoth]

Mood check-in ?

Stable, but has morbid curiosity and a propensity to research concerning topics.

[the-dreams-of-a-storyteller]

Monsters

Are they figures contorting in the dark? Like the thing lurking under your bed or the one scurrying in the shadows at night that you see from the corner of your eye.

Are they beastly, or is it vaguely human but wrong? Like a divine messenger of catastrophe, half-holy and half-haunted but all teeth and claws, or perfectly terrifying angle, in all their glory with all their eyes and wings.

Are they close to looking human, but they cause you unease? Like a man walking towards you late at night or the panic of being alone with a man in the woods despite it being daytime.

How do you describe something monstrous?

[alex-finechi-is-back]

You ever have visions of your own dead body in a bog. All the feelings in your body leaving as the blood of your veins tries to bleed to safety.

You ever think of how your blood wants to live but it’s pumping through a mind that can’t help but crave oblivion.

Thinking of how the blood would feel as it tries to keep me alive.

[ghst-hrt]

Anymore lately, I want to strip the flesh off my bones because I don’t feel like myself anymore—I don’t feel like I belong here anymore…

[hamish-ohana-rogers]

In the time of christ I'm on my period

[ambidextrousarcher]

It’s quite morbidly funny how it’s just easy for some people to say ‘I don’t care about you as much as you do for me,’ ‘I feel more comfortable not caring about you and knowing that you care’ which I…honestly find quite baffling?

In my opinion, genuine love and care is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Perhaps we should give it more sparingly, though, if the above is a response we can get.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

𝔓𝔬𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔡ã𝔬 - 𝔐𝔬𝔯𝔟𝔦𝔡 𝔗𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰

[foolishly-living]

In theory, you could stab someone in between their ribcage spaces with a menorah to death.

[valyn-kitteh]

8/28/23

I get high. I listen to music. I get in my feels and weepy.

also forget how to spell

and worry when i'm going to die

morbid? maybe. my aunt died in her late thirties/early forties i believe - my dad, heart attack in his 60s. i am currently older than my aunt but younger than my dad - but i am not my own grandma i'm so sorry

found this gem today:

giving me ideas for next year