#morbid thoughts

[cherry-pop-elf]

Does anyone else see how Morbid Hogwarts Mystery Is?

You live your life a few years before Harry Potter joins Hogwarts. He’s still at the Dursleys and is unaware of the magic world. You live a happy life with growing up with Tonks, Bill, Charlie, Percy, all those familiar faces. It’s Snape early years at Hogwarts. Barley in his twenties

But you, as the person behind the screen, know that shit is gonna get very real. You know the truth. That Snape is a double agent. That Tonks will one day die. That Scabbers is actually Peter Pettigrew, and you can’t do anything about it

Just this forty year old man, pretending to be a rat, being played by Bill and Charlie. Just kids playing with someone who is responsible for their future brother in law’s parents dying

You’ll end up growing up to be a fellow teacher, and watch the characters you as the person who controls the play grew up with grow up themselves

You’ll watch Fred and George in their early days before Harry and Ron joined

You’ll watch these people live, but you know they will die

You can’t do anything to change history

You simply ARE part of history

You will watch your newly made life long friends die

You’ll watch the students you raise die

But you know how the story plays out, and can’t do anything to change it

Am I the only one that sees how morbid that all is? Just me?

[sharonisthebettercarter]

welp.

i just had a fuckin' dark idea.

pretty sure the reason marie specifically was kept alive might be because vicky plans to use her as a patsy.

the aim is u.s. presidency right?

but if neuman is the vp, prez either has to die or step down for her to be prez. probably ain't gonna do that?? just my two cents. she could pop his head. but there are a number of people who know her powers.

sure, there are other ways to do it, but if marie already has a bad rep and they know what her powers are and how they work--

holy FUCK, they may just be keeping her around to pin all the head popping kills on her. and marie would have no fucking clue or defense. she'd be their perfect 'fall guy'. always have a back up, right?

ugh...

excuse me. whiplash and flashes back to stormfront's:

"you're gonna be a big help to me"

and annie's:

"that means she has some sort of fucked up plan for me"

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

morbidity, my mistress, you are unkind and unwell... fuck it, you're cruel and heartless bitch. but as is vought's way of making patsies of children, this is not outside the realm of dark possibility...

[the-mechanica]

You reading this right now and me sitting here writing this are already ghosts someday

[captainpirateface]

[hislittleraincloud]

no way yoir actually 50 your fucking arounf

I was born in 1974.

40 years ago I wrote my first fan fic.

30 years ago I was getting my first tattoos.

20 years ago I stopped writing Potter fic (for the most part, I think I only wrote one since) and instead immersed myself in design work.

10 years ago my entire life blew up (again) and I'm not sure if I've ever been the same.

Inside, I've always been a cranky old man, but my spirit will probably always be trapped in adolescence. My adolescence, which was atypical in a myriad of ways.

ETA:

You might actually repeat yourself if you saw a photo of me. You'd think I was fucking with you, but as late as 2017 I was still getting carded for alcohol, at the Raleigh airport. I was told by the waitress that I looked 19...and she was about that age. At one kiosk, one of the salespeople asked me what my major was because they thought I went to Duke.

My relationship PTSD and depression have aged me since, though. Not the hair, but the face.

[temptressutara]

"I'll gouge your eyes, if I have to, so I'll forever be etch in your memories. "

[moved-to-piersgender]

I wish I didn't have to leave a dead body for other people to have to handle the disposal of when I die, I just wanna go *pop* out of existence and not leave a big ole mess behind when I'm old as fuck and my number's called

[ambidextrousarcher]

It’s actually really sad that when my parents (who I’m really close to irl) ask me ‘what happened to those friends of yours you love talking about? Friends you wrote and shared stories with? You don’t talk much about them these days, is something wrong?’ all I can say with a shrug is that they decided they don’t want to be friends anymore…basically it’s a sad truth some people just (like yours truly) keep loving those who have long since stopped reciprocating, for all that they may still say for the sake of formality that they still love you. Because, in my opinion, you don’t ditch people you love. You don’t abandon them. You stick with them instead, because that’s what my understanding of love is.

[ravencincaide]

Sometimes I wish the concept of “mates” actually existed. Like how nice would it be if you knew that there was someone out there designed especially for you- your other half. That their happiness depended on you as much as your happiness depended on them.

Then I remember that a lot of people are assholes and crimes such as abuse, murder and rape are often committed by those in your inner circle.. suddenly the idea of a destined mate sounds a lot more like a possible “ date with death” than a romantic encounter..

[feelingsareforweak]

My mom whenever I start reading an ff or a novel: yOu knOw iN mY viLlAgE wE hAd a giRL liKE yoU, sMarT aNd dEdiCAteD bUt shE aLsO rEad sO mAnY nOvEls thAt shE wEnt dEloStiOnAl aNd wE hAd tO pUt hEr iN a mEntAl hoSpiTaL

[moonlights-tears]

Life is an hour glass nailed to a fucking table. Death has spun your roulette wheel.

Where

Will

It

Stop?

[bowtisbowt]

Inkle dinkle binky bunk

I got thrown inside a trunk

I was swimming peacefully

When a Hunter shot at me

Inkle dinkle binky bunk

Life's so hard when you're a duck

(To the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle little star)

inkle dinkle binky bunk

dude you can't just say inkle dinkle binky bunk

[howlsmovingmind]

I mentioned before in another post that I read “The Fault in Our Stars” during treatment (the first time I was diagnosed). I used to joke that it was probably the worst thing I could have read at the time, but looking back, 5 years later, I think it changed my life in a way I never thought it could.

I have a similar cancer to the one Augustus had, and I think my own acceptance of relapse and the feeling of powerlessness but still finding joy is something I learned from Augustus. Living in the moment and not letting it kill you. You can’t control if you die or not. But you can do your best to be yourself until the very end.

I was looking through fanfiction of TFIOS to see if anyone had any character analysis (essentially) of them or any angst about it, because I don’t like feeling alone in myself. But I saw quite a few that were fluffy or where Gus lives. And I don’t know why, but Gus living to me was never an option.

Maybe it’s just my own morbidity and closeness to illness, but, to me, Gus always dies. Something happens. His time will be cut short, no matter what universe you put him in.

And yet, with Neil Perry, I indulge in every iteration of him surviving. Of him making it through. I will almost never pick up a story if Neil Perry doesn’t live. But Gus has to die.

Dreams and hope live in Neil. He is well. He’s got dreams and a future, if he thought of another way out.

But Gus doesn’t have a choice. His dreams and goals are of no importance to his cancer. His cancer doesn’t care. His illness does not take into consideration what he wants. It will simply take until he dies.

We don’t have to stop though. We don’t have to die. Not really. We are almost always at a 50/50 chance of death no matter what we do. It’s always different for everyone, but we do have a chance of life. Mental and Physical illness do not have to be it for us. We can live.

Morbid thoughts and high hopes,

Howl

[phosphenemoth]

Mood check-in ?

Stable, but has morbid curiosity and a propensity to research concerning topics.

[the-dreams-of-a-storyteller]

Monsters

Are they figures contorting in the dark? Like the thing lurking under your bed or the one scurrying in the shadows at night that you see from the corner of your eye.

Are they beastly, or is it vaguely human but wrong? Like a divine messenger of catastrophe, half-holy and half-haunted but all teeth and claws, or perfectly terrifying angle, in all their glory with all their eyes and wings.

Are they close to looking human, but they cause you unease? Like a man walking towards you late at night or the panic of being alone with a man in the woods despite it being daytime.

How do you describe something monstrous?

[joleenenaylor]

I had a Flickr friend years ago that passed away. I used to scroll through his account now and then and think about that - that he was gone and yet his pictures remained. I wonder if they're still there or if they got deleted when his pro account finally ran out? Then I wonder how long my Flickr photos will stay up.