#moonshine bandits

[anthony-usa-today]

[dead-n-cide]

TODAY'S ANTHEM #486

[jeffcbliss]

Kenny Olson - Hilton NAMM Stage; Anaheim, CA (4-13-23). @kennyolsonrocks

Photo: Jeff Bliss

[aplpaca]

So im reading this bat book, right. And the guy who wrote the bat book I'm reading (Merlin Tuttle) is like a super famous biologist and conservationist but also he is insane. Pretty much every chapter is like "and here's how I almost died (again) while trying to do bat science"

Like

"and then I almost died bc I didn't bring enough lamp oil and kept exploring further into the cave"

"And then I did cave exploring for years without using a helmet"

"and then I had a gun pointed at me by a moonshiner using a cave to brew"

"And then I almost died being in a boat during a thunderstorm."

"And then I almost died being in a boat during a thunderstorm but this time it was in canada"

"And then I almost froze to death by being in a boat in the rain when it was cold"

"And then I almost died from not being in a boat when there was big waves and rocks"

"And then I got pulled over by the feds bc they thought we were running drugs in our bat research plane"

"And then I almost gave myself carbon dioxide poisoning in a bat cave"

"And then I did give myself ammonia poisoning in that same bat cave"

"And then I had to hide from lions in crocodile water in the middle of the night bc I went out by myself"

"And then we got threatened with spears by bandits that one time"

"And also there was that one time I almost died from charging elephants after letting an elephant charge closer to the car (instead of driving away immediately) so I could get a picture of a charging elephant"

Somehow this man is 82 rn

[thehomebakery]

A fun campaign idea: The Feywild West 🤠🌿

⚪️ Red Cap Bandits that come out during blood moons and terrorise traveller and sometimes frontier towns.

⚪️ Sandstorms that pass and the time of day seems to shift abruptly aftwards. Or mischievous Sand sprites that pick up lost wanderers.

⚪️ A train that brings people to the feywild west, but never lets locals get on or newcomers get back on.

⚪️ Spellguns (that's all) 💫

⚪️ Fairy rules around cowboy hats, loosing them, tipping them, when you can have them on etc.

⚪️ Cowboys riding unicorns and other weird and wild creatures

⚪️ Lycanthrope moonshine runners 🌙

⚪️ Bank heists and train robberies that are secretly just court squabbles hidden under brash violence

Feel free to add more ♡

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Heads up for the first aid:

How would Bandit, Noctis, Wake, & Vendettas react to their wife, Nemma, asking them to visit Hyrule Castle again the next day after a very boring & irritating day of “diplomacy” with the rich uppercrust of Hyrule?

Now, he very much doesn't want to, but…

There was that mischievous light in her eye that he'd know anywhere.

“What are you planning?”

Though, still mostly stoic, the corners of her lips quirked towards ever so slightly in a similar way to when a cat has devoured a bird whole. “Why, whatever do you mean, shinainaru danna-san?” (beloved husband) She says, fluttering her lashes at him demurely.

But that only raised both his suspicions… & his curiosity.

If he decides to return the next day…

He'll be greeted by the sight of king's expression of restrained humor as his servants & attendants scurry around furiously & the pompous elites from the night before wailing & complaining about “the indignity of such a horrid vandalization!”

And, when they drew close, those insipid wretches attempted to keep him from the main hall. But just as he was about to react, the king remarks, “Oh, come now! It was a harmless prank. How are we to make alliances if we hide our warts! Let them in.”

Confused, he glances at his wife, who’s hiding the lower half of her face behind a fan, eyes bright with glee. Now, the curiosity had a chokehold on him.

However, whatever he might've been expecting, it very much wasn’t what he found.

The main hall, that just the night before, had been gloriously, ostentatiously, even pompously, & vibrantly painted, was now a drab, uniform, unpainted, & unattractive gray with piles of what appeared to be peeled away paint upon the floor. Servants were furiously trying to repaint the walls or sweep the debris away. A couple were even weeping pathetically at the loss. It was utter mayhem.

What are his thoughts & feelings? Like, really go into it. I'm guessing half confused.

I’m also hoping for humor that he must valiantly fight against projecting upon his visage & possible sputtering that was covered up quickly when he takes out the gentlemen’s fan that his wife had handed to him just before they left for the castle.

Maybe clearing his throat before asking, “H-how exactly did this occur?”

Regardless, the king remarks that, evidently, some mischievous little scamp had acquired a jar of Ordon’s finest & highest proof moonshine, then hid it open inside the hall. (Ganondorf was nearly unable to keep himself from snapping his neck to look at his wife, who had only just the night before last bought such a jar of Ordonian Moonshine. 2, in fact. Note: The highest proof of moonshine could very well do something like this if left open in a room overnight.)

Though it will take a lot to fix, the king had to admire that sort of creative genius! So simple, yet so effective!

How do they feel throughout this? How do they react upon the pair finding a moment alone away from prying eyes?

I’m hoping for hysterics or retrained giggling or chuckling or something to that effect. Possibly to the point of tears in his eyes, because his queen will certainly be giggling behind her fan, shoulders shaking with jubilance at having made such a mockery of the courts & gotten away with it.

However, should he ask, Nemma will simply state that just because they cannot strike just yet, does not mean that they can’t strike in other, possibly more subtle, if petty ways.

Also, she noticed how awfully the pompous aristocracy was speaking to him & how frustrated he’d been about not being able to put them in their places like she knew he wanted to, so she wished to “defend his honor” she supposed. Though, she hadn’t been planning to use the moonshine in such a way when she bought it, she remarks somewhat mournfully. She’d wanted to cook him a meal tonight & it would've paired well with the corn spirit. Luckily, she'd only needed to leave one jar, so she had enough left to at least bake a new dessert idea she'd had. Fall Moonshine Cake. It should be a lovely spiced thing full of apples & drizzled with a glaze. She was actually looking forward to it.

I love this. Yessss! I love mischief and mayhem! Look at her go! <3 <3 <3

*********************************************************************

The Ganondorfs and Demise, as varied and complex as their personalities may be, would all share a moment of confusion, curiosity, and—ultimately—amusement upon seeing the chaotic aftermath of Nemma’s prank on the Hyrulean elite.

Wind Waker Ganondorf (Wake): As Wake enters the hall, his usual stoic composure cracks slightly. The sight of the once-glorious chamber now stripped bare, servants wailing over the destruction of their precious décor, forces him to stifle a laugh. He quickly covers it up by pulling out the fan his wife gave him, clearing his throat. His mind, however, races with a mixture of shock, admiration, and pride in his queen's cleverness. "So much for the self-important pomp," he thinks, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he surveys the ridiculous scene. When the king mentions the jar of moonshine, Wake's eyes widen slightly, flickering toward Nemma, whose fan hides her playful grin. He knows exactly where that moonshine came from, and it takes everything in him not to burst into laughter then and there.

Later, when they find a moment alone, Wake can no longer hold it in. His deep, hearty laughter fills the empty hallway as he clutches his side, tears of amusement welling in his eyes. "You are more dangerous than any blade, Nemma," he says between fits of chuckles, his respect for her mischievous mind growing even more. Her explanation about defending his honor only makes him laugh harder, and the thought of a moonshine-baked dessert afterward just adds to the joy of the day.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf (Bandit): Bandit steps into the hall, his arms crossed, a deep frown on his face, still annoyed from the previous day’s diplomatic nonsense. However, the moment he sees the chaotic scene of elites complaining and servants scrambling to repaint the drab gray walls, his brow furrows in confusion. The king’s cryptic remark about a harmless prank makes him even more suspicious, and when he glances at Nemma, her demure yet wickedly gleeful expression sends alarm bells ringing in his mind.

When the king explains the moonshine fiasco, Bandit nearly sputters, the fan in his hand snapping open with a loud fwip as he covers his mouth. He narrows his eyes at his wife, who now seems to be enjoying his struggle to contain his laughter. "Moonshine?" he mutters under his breath, finally understanding what had transpired. The sheer ridiculousness of it all, paired with his queen’s audacious wit, threatens to break his composure.

Once alone, Bandit leans against the wall, his shoulders shaking as he fights back the urge to laugh. He runs a hand down his face and shakes his head, eyes twinkling with reluctant amusement. "You couldn’t just let me deal with them in my way, could you? No... you had to outsmart them in the most spectacularly petty way possible." Nemma’s explanation about “defending his honor” makes him groan in mock frustration, though a small, appreciative smile finally breaks through.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf (Noctis): Noctis, ever the most composed and regal of the Ganondorfs, strides into the hall with a bored, tired expression after the day of diplomacy. But when he takes in the sight of the destruction—the walls now dull and bare, the elites whining incessantly—he freezes. His golden eyes sweep across the hall, trying to comprehend what has happened, and then they land on Nemma, her mischievous smile hidden just behind her fan. He immediately knows something is amiss.

As the king explains the moonshine prank, Noctis blinks, still trying to process how something as simple as a jar of alcohol could wreak such havoc. He opens the fan Nemma handed him earlier with a graceful flick, subtly fanning his face to cover the smile that’s trying to break through. The image of those snobbish nobles having their grand hall ruined by a jar of Ordonian moonshine is too deliciously ironic to ignore.

When they’re alone, Noctis lets out a low chuckle, a rare sound from the usually stoic king. He shakes his head, folding his arms over his chest. "I cannot decide whether I should be impressed or furious," he admits, though his lips quirk into an affectionate smile. "I hope you left enough moonshine for our dinner, Nemma. That cake sounds intriguing."

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf (Hedony): Hedony’s first instinct is to assume that something violent occurred when he sees the mess in the hall. The paint peeled off, the nobles screeching like wounded animals—it all points to some grand act of destruction. But when he hears the king’s explanation and sees Nemma’s barely-contained laughter behind her fan, the realization of what really happened hits him. His lips twitch, wanting to curl into a smirk, but he keeps his face impassive, though only barely.

The idea of using moonshine to cause this level of mayhem is... brilliant. Simple, yet effective. He clenches his jaw, holding back the urge to laugh aloud. "How exactly did this occur?" he asks, voice tight with the effort of not breaking into hysterics.

Later, when they’re alone, Hedony finally allows himself to laugh. His booming voice echoes through the corridors as he pulls Nemma close, kissing her deeply. "You’re going to be the death of me, woman," he says with a grin, his pride in her devious mind shining through. "But what a glorious way to go."

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf (Vendettas): Vendettas, ever suspicious and brooding, walks into the hall, already irritated by the previous day’s events. His eyes scan the destruction with a raised brow. The nobles whining, the king trying to calm everyone down—it all seems so trivial to him. But then he sees Nemma’s smirk hidden behind her fan, and his annoyance fades, replaced by curiosity.

The explanation about the moonshine catches him off guard. He stops in his tracks, blinking in surprise. "Moonshine? Really?" His hand twitches toward the fan she gave him earlier, and before he knows it, he’s covering his face, trying not to snort. The absurdity of it all, the sheer pettiness, is enough to make even him struggle to maintain his composure.

When they’re alone, Vendettas lets out a rare, deep chuckle. "I didn’t think you’d take it that far," he admits, shaking his head. "But I’m glad you did. They deserved it."

Demise: Demise, ever the most prideful and straightforward, enters the hall with a scowl, his patience already worn thin from the previous day's tiresome events. But when he sees the disarray, his scowl deepens. He shoots a suspicious look at Nemma, whose playful eyes behind her fan give everything away.

As the king explains the moonshine incident, Demise’s scowl falters, replaced by confusion. "Moonshine?" His deep voice rumbles as he looks between Nemma and the king, trying to comprehend how such a simple substance caused this chaos. But then he remembers the jar Nemma bought, and realization dawns on him. He tries to stifle his amusement, but a deep, guttural laugh escapes his throat despite himself.

Later, when they’re alone, Demise grips Nemma by the waist, pulling her close. "You are a wicked woman," he growls softly, though there’s a note of admiration in his voice. "But I wouldn’t have it any other way."

[biinaberry]

So is there any AU changes/things between tumble town and the other empires? Like background or jimmy related treaties or so? Alliances that didnt exist until jim? (Havent really caught up on canon beyond recent eps and so far, jim seems to be close to the guild but like... nothing beyond)

Sausage and Jimmy slowly became venting buddies after Jimmy asked Sausage how he coped loosing his old home. Eventually the two became sorta friends sorta acquaintances with a pseudo alliance where they will defend each other but not have it written down as Jimmy doesn't want to alert Joel to anything.

In his teen years he did discover that tumble town's closest ally was Dawn as the newly appointed Queen Gem informed Jimmy of their alliance through the creation of mead using Dawn's honey productions. [more about tumble town's exports below]

While many assume that Tumble town's main export was gunpowder, it originally thrived in the alcohol and tobacco industry. Gunpowder and tnt was only introduced after Jebediah married into the Solidarity family, giving Rosemary his family recipe and process.

Their alcohol exports was spearheaded with their first deal with Dawn and the creation of mead. After that Tumble town would export its moonshine, whiskey, bourbon, mead, etc. If you wanted a specific kind of drink, Tumble Town had your back. Which then made Jimmy panic as he had no clue of the town's old recipes, but luckily stumbled upon an old buried chest of recipes under the remains of the original bank after excavating the site.

Sally was ecstatic to inform the town that they could sell their recipes for a profit. The bandit's recipes were made into the "convicted" line of drinks. The other emperors were not expecting the sudden increase in moonshine recipes but they weren't complaining.

[crazyasscountrygirl]

[cocoawithmarshmallows]

cw: usage of tobacco products, references to sexual activity

Mayfly lied in bed now, eyes tracing the dimly lit ceiling. Her hands rested on her chest, cushioned by the blankets beneath her fingers, rising and falling with each of her bated breaths. Her thighs pressed together, hot in their softest creases, as she thought.

It wasn't her intention, not at first. She had been working late, filing reports. It was another slow night at the station, and Mayfly had offered to stay late to file reports of past robberies. In the presence of recent crime, new records of criminals had stacked up high; Mayfly did the right thing by offering to help, it was her job, after all.

She didn't know the sheriff would be staying late, too.

He was always so good at sneaking up on her, catching her off guard. Mayfly figured it would be another one of those things again, never expecting it to go somewhere, anywhere. Yet he managed to surprise her again, and Mayfly didn't understand how she didn't see it coming—lidded eyes, the gentle scent of liquor somewhere beneath his collar, the hot, dry air that passed through an open office window.

He offered her a ride home, which should have been the end of it. Mayfly had no idea how she ended up at his, truly. Bandits were out, it wasn't safe to travel so far out of town.

His house was closer, anyways.

What would her mother say? Nothing, being six feet into the ground, but Mayfly pondered the shame regardless. Her heart thrummed behind her chest as she recalled the night's events—the feeling of his rough hands in hers, those sounds he made like a bubbling brook as he towered over her, so unique, so pretty, the words he spoke to her, laced with moonshine on his tongue and echoing in the night air, close to her heart now, sweet thing, pretty girl.

Mayfly swallowed, shifting in her place. Against the dark, she could make out the cowhide hat of the sheriff, hanging quietly on the bedpost. Beside her, leaning back with face tipped to the side, was her impromptu man of the hour. He lifted a cigarette to his mouth with an inhale, the ember at the end expanding its light with his lungs, just enough glow for her to see his face for a fleeting moment, staring at her, gazing, as if he was ready to consume her all over again; and then his face plunged back into darkness, slightly shifting his body that weighed so heavily on the mattress because of his sheer size, causing Mayfly to roll closer to his person like the tides to the moon.

The smoke spun in the air as he blew it from his beak with a silent huff, a gossamer curtain of an after feeling that continued to course through Mayfly’s veins. It clouded her head, her senses, as she breathed in the secondhand smoke, redolent of his scent, of him, staining her lips like an indirect kiss.

“Doing alright there, darling?” He drawled, the end of his cigarette teasing his beak. “You’ve been real quiet.”

Mayfly said nothing, absorbing the silence, the feeling that lingered between them. Slowly, movement caught the corner of her eye, rustling, then a pause, followed by a hand outstretched in her direction.

The sheriff was offering her a cigarette.

“Helps me with the nerves, you know,” he admitted bashfully. His own remained lit, hanging by the corner of his mouth. Carefully, Mayfly shifted herself closer, taking the offering from his rough hand. Hesitantly, she placed it between her own lips, unsure of what to do.

The sheriff noticed her struggle, and with a gentle smile, he said, “Here. I’ll light it for you.”

Mayfly blinked, pondering why he hadn’t taken out his matchbox again, when the sheriff angled his head towards her as if to find her lips again, the red hot end of his own cigarette lighting hers, eyes closed as he breathed their shared air in. Mayfly’s cigarette radiated to life, painting both their faces with that same glow, allowing her to catch his eyes once more before the inky sheet of night hid those pooling black eyes once more.

The smoke burned on its way out of her nose and lungs, dense and warm, unknotting the bundles in her muscles and quelling the ache in her chest. Out she breathed, her own cloud a signature of her presence in his room, his bed.

The two remained silent for a moment, before Mayfly spoke again. “…It was real nice of you to let me stay someplace safe tonight.” The cigarette smoked between her fingers, it almost spelled out his name. “Never knew you felt that way…’bout me. …Thank you, sir.”

A slower exhale preceded his answer, Mayfly could hear the smile on his tongue through the dark. “Call me Leo.”

Mayfly swallowed. “Leo?”

“As many times as you want me, sugar.”

tl:dr: mayfly ends up sleeping with the sheriff who just so happens to be leo

this was supposed to be a short blurb how the heck did it spiral aksjdgdhfjfk

read “sanctuary” on ao3 (shameless plug)

[the-eternal-quest-for-balance]

Moonshine Bandits - "Red, White & Boozed" ft. Colt Ford (Official Music ...

[steampunkforever]

The Last American Hero is a great film if you want to watch a film that harnesses the rebelliousness of the Dukes of Hazard without making you look at the confederate battle flag and deal with uncomfortable thoughts about old media and America's painful past.

If you asked me for a film that just recaptured the "Rural outlaw from the American South" playfulness, I'd recommend you just watch Smokey and the Bandit. This is, at its heart, more than just about flaunting the law.

The Last American Hero can be distilled to "if the Duke boys had to give up running booze and legitimize, how would they navigate the integration of their free spirits into great society?" The answer, just like the real moonshiners a young (and cute!) Jeff Bridges represents in this film, is racing cars.

NASCAR, as very smug people who don't like NASCAR will remind you, was founded by moonshiners who'd built hot cars to run from the cops down twisty country roads as they delivered cases of Prohibition-flaunting (and later simply unregulated) booze. Somewhere in between moonshine falling out of relevance and Dogecoin sponsoring a car, the bootleggers started getting together to show off what their machines could do, first on beaches and fields and later as events at fairground circle tracks (hence the overdone only turning left jokes) that could house more spectators.

Just like those bootleggers, Jeff Bridges character must do what all 70s American cinema mavericks have done and carve a path that lets him fly free. Except instead of being a jaded Vietnam vet, he's a young racer trying to use what he learned careening down the hollers to navigate the already regulation-stifled world of stock car racing.

Interestingly, instead of films that run along the lines of Rambo, where the options are antisocial activity, a return to the old life, or fiery death doing what you love, The Last American Hero tells us that we must adapt to survive, that integration into society does not necessitate compromising freedom nor does it mean abandoning "the self."

Without a hint of preachiness or soapboxing this film presented a complex, timely narrative with sophisticated artistic direction while somehow simultaneously getting demolition derby strategies completely correct. You ARE supposed to go at the other cars trunk first, it keeps the shock away from your driveline and prevents your radiator from being punctured in a collision.

[jeusussavearmyveteran1205]

Moonshine Bandits - Pass Me The Ammo

[babyblueetbaemonster]

Skyrim Asks

Tagged by @purrpletartan and @friend-of-giants thank you both for tagging me :D

Tagging @the-sunlit-earth, @katastronoot, @ace-of-creation, @thescrolls-haveforetold, @ark-sided, @themonsterundermystairs, @apollinariafh, @hannahcbrown if you want to :3

(and no you don't have to draw anything i just have problems haha)

And anyone wanna play this of course :)

(Long post under the cut)

1.Favorite Tavern:

You know, the Winking Skeever's not just the best inn in Solitude. It's the also the only inn in Solitude. hahaha. I like the family who runs this place. It's always lively. Sometimes the Bards College gang would come here playing music.

2.Favorite Drink:

I'm a simple Nord loving simple Nord Mead. I found a lot of mead lying around the bandit cave I cleared out haha. It's probably moonshine but tastes quite good :D

3.Travel Companion:

The most reliable mercenary I've met is Teldryn Sero! He's a strong swordsman. He can do magic. He got a flame atronach! His voice is so nice and he's secretly very handsome under that crab mask haha

4.Wealthy or not?

Hahaha I'm stupidly rich. Don't tell Brynjolf ;)

5.Worships the Aedra or the Daedra?

6.Biggest Fear:

The magic immortal snail.

7.Pet Peeves:

The epic kill cam when I shot an arrow and it didn't even kill anyone (?)

8.Do they like being dragonborn?

Yeah! It's really fun! I like to randomly yell at people haha

9.Favorite faction:

College of Winterhold!!! I love it because the quest line is so broken and all my friends are there haha

10.An object of sentimental value:

I still got the fine iron dagger from Alvor. He taught me how to use a forge and gave me the dagger for free when I got nothing in return. I keep the dagger to remember his generosity, and to remind me to be kind to others.

11.Hobbies:

Cooking and baking :D

12.Favorite city:

Solitude. It's a fun big city. They have clothing store, Bards College, my favorite inn, a lot of flowers and a dock. I got invited to a tea party with uncle Sheo once and it's lovely <3