#monty looking at this kid and being like :/ someone needs to socialize this thing. sit next 2 me and u can do the talking

[xheksprostate]

Monty has him hang around him... lets Dobes call him Sammy... peace and love on planet earth

[harrisonstories]

George Harrison holding a t-shirt which says, “Animals are my friends and I don’t eat my friends” with Lakshmi Shankar during the Dark Horse tour. (1974)

George Harrison + politics

“I think about [the war in Vietnam] every day, and it’s wrong. Anything to do with war is wrong. They’re all wrapped up in their Nelsons and their Churchills and their Montys -- always talking about war heroes. Look at All Our Yesterdays. How we killed a few more Huns here or there. Makes me sick. They’re the sort who are leaning on the walking sticks and telling us a few years in the Army would do us good.” (Datebook, 1966)

“He thinks that his, George’s personal taxes are going directly to pay for F111’s. He sees Mr. Wilson, the Prime Minister of England, as the Sheriff of Nottingham, ‘There he goes,’ George said bitterly,  ‘Taking all the money and then moaning about deficits here, deficits  there -- always moaning about deficits.’ In fact, he approves of nobody in authority, religious or secular. These people are called Big Cheeses or King Henrys. They should practice what they preach, and, according to George, they do not. ‘Take  teachers,’ he said. ‘In every class when I was at school there was always a little kid who was scruffy and smelly; and the punishment was always to sit next to the smelly kid. Fancy a teacher doing that.’” (Datebook, 1966)

“I think if somebody can go and buy a crate of whiskey and drink that and be perfectly within the law then I think somebody, particularly within the privacy of his own home, should be able to smoke a marijuana cigarette. You know. I think marijuana is only as bad as an ordinary cigarette, or alcohol or tea or coffee or any of those things. They’re all drugs, all stimulants you know. The thing is to define between something that is merely a stimulant and something that makes your physical body crave for it. There’s no comparison between marijuana and heroin.” (KRLA, 1967)  

“I noticed a police car. It says, written on the door, ‘To serve and to protect’, and that really sort of buzzed me. I was starting to wonder like, who are they serving, and who are they protecting? I mean that’s where it’s really at because maybe they do serve and protect, but you know...themselves or? Like, who? [...] That’s the trick you see. They say, ‘It’s not me. It’s somebody up there telling me what to do,.’ and you can never find like, who is the guy at the top? Because they shift the load, you know? Take a load off Annie.” (1968)

“It’s shocking for anyone to shoot anyone. Some shootings just get more publicity than others. There’s no interest in people who aren’t senators. It’s silly for people to have guns. If they have guns, they’re going to use them, aren’t they? If people get busted for anything today, they should get busted for guns, I think.” (Teenset, 1968)

“[The government] still choose to use the money for military and for weaponry, as opposed to building the inner cities, giving people jobs, or detoxifying the oceans or whatever. I mean it’s just -- it’s in a nutshell greed I think. It all comes down to greed. Y’know industry, commerce, and that.” (RTE, 1987)

“I voted for the Greens because I think it’s more important to um, have a bit of oxygen to breathe. I think that’s one of the most important things, to have something left of the planet.” (1987)

“I know it must sound strange from someone who’s made a lot of money out of selling records, but the present yuppie consumerism spurred on by Mrs. Thatcher and her friends is absolute anathema to me. It is, I believe, amoral and ultimately very corrupting. I despise the politicians -- and there are so many of them like this in the present Government -- who urge us on to new heights of consumerism, who elevate the yuppie to the ultimate pinnacle as the ideal to be copied by all. This idea that profit and the private sector must rule everything is just crazy to me. I don’t accept it at all.” (1987)

“You see, even in a place like Henley-on-Thames there are youngsters who are not from particularly well-off families. Some of them live on the borderline of real poverty. And there’s a limit to how much there is for people like that to do. For some time we ran a special scheme of subsidised ticket prices for such young people and it worked wonderfully well. We asked Michael Heseltine, our local MP, to ask Nicholas Ridley, the Secretary of State for the Environment, to make the cinema a listed building. It is a period piece. But Heseltine said to me, 'It is not a good enough building to save, you know, and quite honestly, George, you cannot stop it from being knocked down.' So I said, 'Well, there is too much traffic coming over Henley Bridge anyway, why don’t we knock that down and make a nice big, wide, concrete one? In principle, I don’t see that there’s any real difference.' And he said, 'George, don’t be so ridiculous! That bridge is an old structure and is so much part of Henley, it’s important to Henley!' I replied, 'But if you take the cinema away, then something else, and then something else, then you slowly change the town. The cinema is just as important as the bridge in that respect, and the cinema has a social function that no bridge can ever have.' And, you know, Heseltine looked at me as if to say, 'Shut your mouth, you ignorant Liverpool git!'” (1987)

“If you have a leader who hasn’t got himself together, then you can’t do anything. Then you see like Richard Nixons, Ronald Reagans -- all these kinds of people are empty. They’re just like a shell with darkness and emptiness inside, and they’re out there leading countries.” (1988)

“[Piggies] was social comment, and it’s still the same today. Especially now, with glasnost, and communism going away, they’ve got to have a good reason not to give that money to the poor, or redivert it into helping the planet become safe and unpolluted.” (Musician, 1990)

“The poison is everywhere, on your potatoes, tomatoes — not to mention the air we breathe. The basic problem is that the agrochem­ical industries have a stranglehold on the government. They’re all in cahoots [...] What we need is an honest army that goes around busting those guys, because they’re the ones ruining this planet. But what you find is that the people causing the most environmental damage are the industrialists. And the Dow Jones people. Buy buy buy! Sell sell sell! This madness that Reagan and Thatcher created, this idea that everyone is much better off now, everyone is more in debt, there’s more concrete, we’ve sacrificed the planet for the motor car.” (Musician, 1990)

"I earn enough money to be a conservative, but I am not willing to give up my principles.” (El Pais, 2000)

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Well, that was cold

I have mod that makes diseases actually dangerous. (actually several of them and they’re all listed here on Pleasant Sims’ modlist)

The first rotation? Everything’s fine. The only one who fell ill was John Burb and he, as a family Sim, was able to soup himself to health in no time.

The second rotation... Ajaj Loner got sick.

With cold.

I was like, “I know flu is pretty dangerous with this mod but cold should be fine, right? I mean, I used to have it four times a year. So glad it’s not flu!”

I thought I was lucky.

I wasn’t.

After Ajaj’s turn ended, he was free to wander around and spread the cold everywhere.

Because they have chemistry and she was on a prowl, I even had Nina Caliente seduce Ajaj. She got the cold but I was like whatever, she’s a strong quasi-alien, running nose for a few days won’t kill her!

How fatally wrong I was I realized during a vacation that Nina went on with her sister and Ajaj. She was just chilling, sleeping in her hotel room, when all of the sudden, Grim Reaper!

You sure, Dina?

Nina was dead. Dead from the cold. And she was pregnant, no less!

I reloaded because it was on a vacation and Nina was the only playable Sim, so I was quite worried what would become of the grave. I managed to get her home and moved Chloe Curious in, so that someone can eventually plead for her. She was lucky the second time around and survived. Chloe got infected but survived as well.

But we had an epidemic on our hands now. Ajaj and Nina have been quite successful generously sharing their cold all across the hood and I failed to keep track of who has it.

Still, I thought it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t understand the scale, I was still thinking that it was just Ajaj, Consort Capp and the Pleasants.

Again, I was wrong.

When I got in the rotation to the Capps (the Capps 1), everyone was infected. I was still optimistic, though, because we were talking about a household where 2/4 Sims are Family and one is a Family Secondary, they can bathe in the soup!

The teens ate their soup and survived.

Consort died that night. He was due to die at the end of their round anyway but because he didn’t do so of old age, his grandchildren received no bonus inheritance.

The only one who gained something from that was Olive Specter who was delighted to see Consort, her crush, perish, so she could finally raise him as a zombie.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a screenshot of her actually raising him, so here’s at the very least Olive walking menacingly to work.

Anyway, moving onto the Capps again (the Capps 2, Goneril edition), things looked bleak. Goneril was pregnant and she and all the kids were infected. Albany was immediately called to action to generate enough soup but the house devolved into utter chaos. Everybody had their soup but just as they recovered, they got infected again!

Ok, I was thinking, Consort was quite old and fragile. Nina must’ve had the cold for a long time, given she was on a vacation. There’s no way the kids are gonna die on the first day they got infected. They had the soup, so I’ll send them to beds, so they can get a good-night sleep and enough rest.

Nope.

Ariel, a child, died in her sleep.

Nobody was able to get to her in time to plead for her.

While I was contemplating an in-character way of resurrection, Desdemona, a young teen, died in her sleep just about two hours after her sister.

Again, nobody was fast enough.

Luckily, Miranda was already in college and she was roommates with Ophelia Nigmos, who was in possession of a genie lamp she was safeguarding from Olive. Hearing about the tragedy that befell her friend’s family, moved by the death of a little girl and her not much older sister, Ophelia the Family Sim offered Miranda the lamp on the spot.

Miranda rushed home to drop off the lamp and then ran off so she doesn’t get infected. Well, she did anyway but since I haven’t played the college Sims yet, I don’t know of her fate.

Hal made a good use of the lamp. He rolled the wants to resurrect both his sisters and that’s exactly what he did.

He triumphantly finished making the wishes...

And dropped dead.

Another young soul succumbed to cold.

But! Since there was still a wish left and his sisters were back alive, Desdemona swiftly brought him back.

Ariel’s and Hal’s resurrections were perfect.

Desdemona’s was faulty, so her personality got reversed.

But as long as they’re alive and preferably not zombies, everything will do.

The Capps were all cured! Hooray!

Wait. Not all Capps. There was still Regan’s branch and, predictably, they were all infected. And this time, there was no Family Sim in sight.

The only non-infected Sim in the family was a little toddler. The poor, poor child was in for a life-long trauma.

Kent went quick and quiet the first night of their round. Regan fortunately recovered. Cornwall did too. They had a very lucky start of the round all together, I may add. Kent’s tragic death was followed by Regan’s demotion that lead to her subsequent want to quit her job (...and she was the only one who was making any significant money), then Cornwall set the house on fire while cooking breakfast, then he got fired.

Poor thing. First got house-fired, then job-fired.

Regan’s LTW was to reach the top of the Law career, so she got herself a new job there. On her first day, she got promoted!

And she brought home a friend! Sweet!

No... nooooo...

It was Ajaj F*ckin’ Loner.

Both Regan and Cornwall got infected before you could say “act your surname and social-distance, you jerk!”

Cornwall died almost immediately. Unfortunately, Regan was asleep and failed to get up and ambush the Grim Reaper in time.

On the bright side, she recovered!

So I watch her go to work, the nanny arrives to baby-sit the toddler, everything seems to finally have settled down.

But then I spot an unexpected movement in the house.

It’s Titania Summerdream. Who let her in? I have no idea.

It would be quite sweet of her to check on her friend Regan after she lost two family members and to help with her young daughter.

If... if she didn’t have the fricking cold!

Regan returned from work and I rushed to have her send Titania away.

Of damn course she didn’t go before giving the cold to Regan.

Now it was the third time Regan got infected and there were no other family members to take care of the toddler if she dies. It was very suspenseful. I decided to use extreme measures and I teleported Albany in, made him selectable and had him cook the soup.

Instead of that, he proceeded to bicker with Regan.

If he got re-infected, I swear...

Anyway, after a three tries or so, Regan got her soup and Albany was on his merry way away.

What a relief! I sent Regan to sleep, trusting the soup to do its magic. The next morning her needs all looked great! No notification yet but I was sure it’s gonna arrive any second. When suddenly...

Yeap, she died.

Regan Capp died the way she lived. Paying her family’s bills.

I used Simblender again to quickly move in Hal. He was there in time to plead for Regan!

And for the first time in the Capp household, he actually made it! He pleaded!

And... and... lost.

So I had him stay to take care of the toddler until their round was over. Then I moved them both back with Goneril’s branch.

At the very least young Ione, the genius toddler with maxed Logic skill, got something resembling a birthday party with her cousin and his boyfriend Alexander Goth.

Given that Montys had their losses as well, the cold has already taken out much of the adult population of Veronaville.

The only two adults left (not counting fresh elders Albany and Goneril) in Veronaville were in fact the Summerdreams who were extremely lucky and with an abundance of soup, they survived.

To be completely honest, I’m very happy with the mod. I tend to play large hoods and although it tends to be rather tragic, the occasional epidemic of cold trims the population down a bit without me killing anybody off and it gives the game an additional bit of challenge and randomness.

...or maybe I’m just a sh*tty person to my Sims.

Bonus screenshots of the Strangetown cold outbreak:

Vidcund Curious spent two nights sleeping in a chair in his children’s bedroom because he was afraid they’re going to die from the cold in their sleep and wanted to be there to plead for them. In the end it actually happened, he pleaded and managed to save his daughter.

The Smiths had to be unfortunately visited by the Therapist. PT9 died on the day he was supposed to die of old age but hours prior, he became yet another victim of the cold. And it was very unlucky, since it meant no inheritance and by the Watcher, Jenny and their 5 kids could definitely use it. They were completely broke.

But not everything was morbid and tragic!

Lazlo rolled quite the unexpected want to get married to his girlfriend, Cassandra Goth. They weren’t engaged, she wasn’t pregnant, he’s not a Family secondary, and the date they were on wasn’t even in the stage Sims usually roll engagement wants, he simply rolled it out of the blue. And of course I went with it! (Cassandra had recently divorced Don, rolling the wish to remarry almost immediately.)

The only family in the hood that could technically mass-produce medicine so that not everyone is dependent on the soup, the Beakers, of course didn’t. Why would they risk their hides, toying with the Mysterious Disease, when they didn’t have to? Instead, they social-distanced and spent the rotation raking in promotions and taking care of their army of children. (Loki kept rolling wants to get abducted and ARC wasn’t kind to them either. But with Loki being Family secondary and Circe leaving most of the parenting on him anyway, I don’t think they mind.)

Note the alien toddler, the second youngest child. He has 10 Nice points. That’s 4 points more than all 5 of his siblings and his parents combined. He’s gonna have a rough childhood, the poor thing.

Jill Smith managed to get nibbled on by the pack leader just in time, a few days before going to college. She’s thrilled by her new wolf-y powers! And regardless of what her mother says, she knows the fur goes with her school uniform just perfectly!

Rachel Pleasant, the youngest offspring of Daniel that he knows about (the second youngest overall), aged up into a child! And judging by the look on her face, she already knows how much of a mess her family is.

Not even being brought back from the dead made Desdemona Capp immune to the Summerdream charm. Bottom, the young Romance Sim, invited her girlfriend to hang out in their hot tub. It was an afternoon to remember for both of them.

Local ageing general married a successful young athlete, Kristen Loste. Unfortunately for everyone attending the wedding, the bride’s former roommate Chloe Curious decided that flirting with her literally the next interaction after Kristen said, “I do.” was a smart idea. No need to add that the wedding cake was left to rot forgotten, never cut. It was a sad wedding cake but even though it started to stink around two hours after the wedding, it still lasted longer than the marriage.

And far away in La Fiesta Tech, two estranged siblings were talking things out and healing their relationship.

Now I lost this hood (again) and started a new one, so the next gameplay post will probably feature the same characters in completely different circumstances and nothing is going to make sense but... what does anyway?

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - One Angry Princess

There’s two halves to this episode. The first is a well constructed, if over simple, mystery for the kiddos to solve. The other is a failed attempt at being ‘deep’ and ‘mature’.  

Summary: Attila is finally opening up his own bakery, but people generally don't want to stop by because of his scary helmet. The next day, Monty's Sweet Shoppe is destroyed, and Attila is arrested. He is about to be banished from the kingdom, but Rapunzel makes an appeal to investigate the matter further. 

The Episode is Meant to be a Homage to 12 Angry Men, but Misses the Point of the Original Film

So for those who haven’t seen the movie, (though really you should) 12 Angry Men is about a jury trying to decide if an accused person is guilty of a violent crime. At first the evidence seems clear, but one lone juror refuses to vote guilty until the evidence has been gone over again. One by one he convinces the other men to vote not guilty as they each have to face they’re own personal biases.

Sound familiar? 

In the show Rapunzel is the sole believer in Attila’s innocence despite evidence to the contrary. She insists on investigating herself while challenging everyone else’s personal biases. 

The difference?

12 Angry Men is a hard hitting look at how privilege, prejudice, and cognitive bias can interfere with the American judicial system. None of the jurors are named, but they are all middle class, presumably Christian, white guys. And that is the point. They are all different from the accused; a young, poor, arguably non-white teen (the play is intentionally vague about the kid’s race so that you can slot any minority in there) who has a history of getting into trouble. If you were to change the ethnicity, race, gender, class, or age of any of the 12 characters then you would suddenly have a very different story. It’s their backgrounds and pre-formed opinions that inform their decisions. Even the main protagonist is not exempt from re-examining his own personal biases. 

Meanwhile the writers of Tangled: the Series are too busy showing off how clever Rapunzel is to actually deal with the themes of injustice and bigotry that they added in themselves in the first place.

Rapunzel Knowing Attila Before Hand Weakens the Message

In 12 Angry Men none of the jurors know the accuse. In fact, they can’t know him. It’s against the law. In order to have an impartial jury, no one can have any ties to either the defendant or the prosecution, and they must not have knowledge of the case or have had specific experiences that might cause them to be biased or unfair. 

Rapunzel being Attila’s friend means that she already has her own bias and an invested interest in making sure Attila goes free. She’s not acting out of the simple goodness of her heart here. She’s doing something that directly benefits herself. 

I don’t expect a children’s fantasy show to recreate the US judicial system with all of the complexities there in, but I do expect it to uphold it’s heroine as the selfless person it claims her to be. Yet the show constantly undermines this supposed character trait by only having her help the people she befriends, and only if that help doesn’t require anything emotionally challenging or mentally taxing from her.   

How much more powerful would this episode be if Rapunzel was defending a stranger or someone she actively disliked? Imagine if it was Monty who was being accuse and Raps had to swallow her pride in order to do what is right. But that would require the show having Rapunzel actually learn something instead of placing her on a pedestal. It would also mean giving Monty a reason to exist rather than keeping him around to be a convenient red herring.      

Rapunzel Shouldn’t Have to Prove Attila’s Innocence 

Rather than have a courtroom drama the show opts to have a ‘whodunit’ story instead. This unfortunately gives the implication that Corona’s judicial system runs on a ‘guilty until proven innocent’ mantra, which is backwards to any humane legal system. ‘Innocent until proven guilty’, ‘reasonable doubt’, ‘due process’, are the cornerstones of our modern social ethics. 

In 12 Angry Men, we never find out if the accused actually committed the crime or not. That is because his actual innocence isn’t the point of the story. It’s about whether or not the system is working like it should or if it’s being compromised by human error. 

Once again, I don’t expect a recreation of the US judicial system, but if you’re writing a story for a modern audience then you need to reinforce modern morals. Simply crouching Corona’s legal system as ‘of the times’ or ‘fantasy’ while ignoring why we no longer have such systems in place reduces the story to puerile fare. 

It also means that show’s writers didn’t put enough thought into their world building. 

No One Calls Out the Obviously Corrupt System 

The show has interwoven throughout its ongoing narrative themes of classism, injustice, abuse, and authoritarianism, but then fails to follow through on those themes by not having any of the protagonists actually examine any of these issues. They just sit there in the background, even as the show tries it darndest to present Rapunzel as an arbiter of reform. However a person can’t bring about change if they can’t even admit that there is a problem to begin with.   

In this episode alone we have

Banishment is considered a reasonable punishment for an act of vandalism. A crime that is usually considered only a misdemeanor unless the damage goes over a certain amount. Keep in mind that not even most felonies would be given such a punishment in the real world

Introduces the prison barge that regularly carries away convicts. In the past ‘undesirables’ would be shipped off to prison colonies as a form of persecution. Attila and every other person we see subjected to Corona’s legal system are of a lower class. 

Many prejudge Attila based off his appearance, lower class, and past upbringing. However, it is either Attila who is expected to change or Rapunzel who is expected to win people over. At no point is anyone told that they shouldn’t be prejudiced to begin with. 

There is no judge, jury, or lawyers. The king alone decides the fate of criminals, the Captain is expected to be the both the prosecutor and the ‘executioner’, which is a conflict of interest, and the defendant has no one to represent them unless they so happen to know a kind statesperson. Meaning you have to be either rich or well connected in order to even have a chance to defend yourself. 

Oh and there’s this...

Uh, yeah you do. You’re the flipping king. You make the law. You’re the one to bring charges against Attila, and nearly every other criminal in the show, in the first place. 

The show constantly wants us to view Frederic as simply an everyman who is only doing his job, but he’s not. He’s a ruler and as such he has powers and responsibilities that no one else has or ever will have. The series gives both him and Rapunzel all of the privileges of being in charge without holding them to account for the consequences of their actions. 

By not pointing out how wrong these actions are, the show winds up avocating them instead. When I call Tangled the Series authoritarian, this is why. Because authority is never questioned even when clearly wrong and nepotism is presented as the solution to conflicts as oppose to being the problem itself.

The Show Introduces Complex Issues but Then Oversimplifies the Conflicts Surrounding Those Issues

The creators of the show have constantly declared that the series is ‘not for kids’. That they were shooting for an older audience than the pre-school time slot they were given. Now ignoring the fact that Tangled was always going to have a built in audince of pre-teen girls and ignoring that children’s media can be mature, TTS lacks the nuance needed to viewed as anything other than a pantomime. 

As stated before, this episode alone ignores the very real issues interlaced within the conflict in order to give us an overly simple mystery that anyone over the age of five could figure out.  

It’s frustrating to watch the show constantly skirt towards the edge of complexity only to see it chicken out and go for the low hanging fruit instead. As a consequence the series winds up being for no one. Too shallow for adults and older teens, but too confused in its morals to be shown to small children and younger adolescents. 

I wouldn’t recommend this show to a parent, not without encouraging them to view the series either before or alongside their child in order to counteract it’s ‘lessons’ and I know parents within the fandom itself who’ve stopped showing newer episodes to their kids; stating that they want their child to be old enough to point out the harmful messages to before doing so. 

Once Again No One Learns Anything 

Rapunzel doesn’t learn that the system is flawed. Attila doesn’t learn to open up to people. Nobody learns to treat people with respect and to not judge others based on appearances alone.

The whole point of the episode is to just show off how much ‘better’ Rapunzel is than everyone else. The show constantly feels the need to tear down other characters in an effort to make its favs look good as opposed to just letting the mains grow as people. 

Conclusion

Tangled the tv series is no 12 Angry Men. It’s no Steven Universe/Gravity Falls/Avatar:TLA/She-Ra/Gargoyles/Batman:TAS either. It barely reaches the same level as the likes of DnD, Sonic SATAM, or Voltron. Interesting ideas but poor pacing, build up, and lack of follow through, with some naff decisions thrown into the mix bring things down in quality. And unlike the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon from the early 80s, TTS lacks the benefit of being a pioneer in the field of animation, where such flaws are more forgivable. 

[thetrainwreckjournals]

The Little Wolf Queen Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Connection

 Ava is woken up too early, is stared at by one of the boys on the hockey team and feels weird. Shawn goes to school, his nose is on overdrive and he finds his mate.

 The first thing she heard was the shrieking blare of her alarm followed by her stepmother Elena calling her name from downstairs. Groaning, she slammed her hand down on the alarm before rolling back into her sheets to enjoy the warmth, closing her eyes….and immediately opening them when she heard her door open.

 “Ava” Elena’s gentle voice came through her room. “Ava sweetheart, you gotta get up for school”

 “No” Ava grumbled.

 “Ava honey, school is important” Elena chuckled.

 “It’s not, I’m gonna make a killing being a grumpy judge on a talent show like Simon Cowell” Ava muttered from under her covers.

 “You still need to finish school, now come on and get up before-”

 “AVAAAAAA” came the loud voice of her three-year-old sister before a small mass crashed into her body with much more force than it should’ve.

 “Oof” Ava groaned upon the impact.

 “Chelsea!” Elena chastised the small girl. “Don’t do that, you could hurt your sister!”

 “Sorry Mommy” Chelsea said bashfully.

 “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to your sister” Elena scolded.

 “Sorry Ava” Chelsea smiled before throwing herself to hug her older sister.

 “S’alright kid” Ava smiled back before reaching for her phone to take a quick snapchat of her sister being all cuddly and cute.

 “Let’s get you both downstairs, gotta get you both ready for school” Elena smiled.

Reluctantly hauling herself out of bed, she remembered why she loved her blankets so much. It may have been spring in Canada, but the mornings could be chilly. Her sleep jumper and shorts were perfect until she removed the blankets, even on the carpet and with socks on, her legs felt slightly cold. Walking down the stairs somewhat drowsily with a big yawn coming up, Ava couldn’t help but smile as the twins stood at the bottom of the stairs with big curious eyes as they watched their mom with big smiles to match.

 “Oh, by the way, they ate the rest of the chocolate cake” Elena smiled apologetically. “I can buy some more from the bakery when I drop them off at Mum’s”

 “Elena darling” Ava’s dad called from the kitchen, “Where on earth is the cheese?”

 “Back of the fridge” both Ava and Elena answered at the same time.

 “You don’t suppose he’ll ever get his eyes checked, do you?” Elena quizzed gazing into the kitchen.

 “It’s Dad, what do you think?” Ava stated like it was obvious.

 Elena laughed her bell like laugh and took the hands of the twins while Chelsea grabbed Ava’s hand and pulled her down the stairs.

 “Morning sleeping beauty” Ava’s dad smiled fondly at his somewhat disheveled daughter.

 “Dad” she acknowledged. “Can you grab me that cereal?”

 Passing the cereal to his daughter, he watched her as she sighed upon looking at her phone. “everything okay?”

 “Yeah, but last two weeks of school and then summer. Which means feeling too lazy to do those last pieces of work that get me into the 11th Grade” Ava groaned miserably.

 “Just two more weeks baby” Elena smiled kissing Ava’s temple.

 “Elena do my work for me” Ava begged.

“You’re a capable woman Ava” Elena reminded her stepdaughter.

 “Fine” she grumbled.

 Eating her cereal, she was joined by an equally grumpy Jesse and a very sleepy Noah.

 “Do you want some of my fruit loops?” Jesse asked with a big yawn.

 “Nah that’s alright, you want any coco pops?” she asked him.

 “Just a spoon” he smiled dopily.

 While he got his cereal, Noah glanced at them while eating his wholemeal ham and tomato sandwich with his favourite cheese.

 “Those cereals have lots of added sugar in them y’know. You should eat something lo GI that has protein in it” Noah told them in his four-year-old “I know everything” tone before walking off to sit on the porch with their Dad.

 Narrowing her eyes in confusion, Ava reminded herself that he was four and not 30. Then she turned to Jesse as if he had an explanation, which apparently, he did.

 “He’s been watching the food network on his sick days” Jesse shrugged.

 Elena loved the food network. It made sense.

 Finishing her cereal, she went upstairs to throw on her jeans and Coca Cola t shirt and converse before heading to her mirror. She blended out her foundation and concealer before debating if he could be bothered with proper eyeshadow. Deciding she could not, she set her face with powder, bronzed her cheekbones and used the same bronzer for eyeshadow and contouring her nose before applying a nude lip and mascara. She almost forgot her highlight but then remembered that Katie was planning on polaroid’s at school today so she applied some.

 She threw her books in her bag, her tissues and bounced her way downstairs before making her coffee.

 “Well you certainly seem to be in much higher spirits” Elena smiled.

 “All things are possible with coffee and mascara Elena, all things” Ava smiled back brightly.

 “Wanna go and round up your siblings?” Her dad asked.

 “Sure” Ava agreed. “GET DOWN HERE MY ARMY” she yelled at the top of her lungs making Elena and her Dad wince.

 “I meant at a lower volume” Her Dad grumbled.

 “There’s too many to find individually” Ava shrugged.

 Just then, a mess of four children came hurdling down the hallway giggling and laughing while they raced each other to the front door.

 “School drop off time. Alex and Levi, just where do you think you’re going?” Elena said in fake sternness with her hands on her hips.

 Alex and Levi were meant to be waiting with Ava’s Dad. Instead they had their animal bag packs on and their jackets.

 “They’re coming with us” Chelsea stated proudly. “I put their jackets on and Jesse got their bags Mom”

 Raising her eyes to the ceiling, Elena sighed. “You can come to the drop offs but then we’re coming back home to say goodbye to Dad and the dogs”

 Giggling victoriously, they all packed themselves into the car and drove off to school.

 “Have a nice day. Two more weeks, that’s all Ava” Elena reminded her stepdaughter before driving off.

 Groaning in despair, Ava turned and walked her way through school.

 “Morning Ava” Monty smiled nervously at her.

 “Morning Monty” Ava smiled back.

 Monty was the socially awkward geek in her History class who seemed to have a crush on her. She wasn’t to alarmed by him, it was his friend Gavin, the extroverted creep who bothered her.

 “Babe!” she heard the exaggerated happiness in the voice of Heather Wilson, the school’s very own demon, as she rushed over to very sloppily kiss her newest toy, Dustin Kirk. Dustin and Heather belonged to the popular kids of the school. While Ava wasn’t unpopular, she didn’t have the whole “queen” status going on for her. She noticed that some of the hockey players were present, bit early for them. She spotted Katie’s older brother and then she saw Shawn Mendes with his friends Cameron Dallas and Brian Craigen. They played on the hockey team and were kinda cute. His mom was friends with Elena and her Dad. Karen was a sweet lady. But then she spotted the one who made her heart stop. Jake Henderson. All 5ft11 of his blonde-haired, blue-eyed muscle. Snapping herself out of it before someone noticed her staring, she walked around their group and onto her friends.

 “Hello Ava” Katie greeted. “How was the weekend, we didn’t see you at all”

 “Talk about missing the fun” Leah grinned. “I don’t think Laura’s ever seen so many shirtless men in her life”

 “It was a wonderful sight to behold” Laura smiled.

 “How was games night?” Stacey smiled.

 “Good, you know Elena’s parents, heavy on the food, heavy on the wine and heavier on the desert” Ava sighed contently.

 “You know I swear you’re never happy without food in your mouth” Laura laughed.

 “Food is good for the soul. And I need about all the soul I can get in these last two weeks” Ava muttered grimly.

 As the girls continued gossiping about the latest party, Ava couldn’t help but feel she was being watched. She looked up to see the last person she was expecting to be looking at her. Shawn Mendes was watching her with an odd sort of gaze as he caught her eye. Affection? Admiration? It was strange. Suddenly she felt this odd sensation in her stomach and slightly dizzy.  Before she could linger on it, the bell rang and their classes had begun.

 SHAWNS POV

 He was early to school today. Brian’s parents had taken his brother out of town for a specialist appointment for his little brothers hearing, so they were at school before the bell rang for once.

 He was watching Heather and Dustin be their usual selves and then he smelt it. That same sweet smell he caught lingering in the hallways. Except this time, it was stronger, much stronger. Overwhelmingly so. It was all his nose could focus on. A cross between vanilla and baking sugar. He took a deep inhale and turned to his left. A girl walking by seemed to radiate the smell.

 Mate. His inner wolf told him.  

 He suddenly felt dizzy, his hands were sweaty, his body was warm and he felt a tugging sensation at his stomach. The smell seemed to overpower all his senses as shivers went down his spine. Could it really be?

 She was small and she had black hair. All he could see was the back of her covered by a denim jacket and a backpack. When she had sat down, she was against the wall and her could only see half her face. Caramel skin. And then by some sort of mercy she frowned. Was she okay? Was something making her sad? Then she looked up, right at him and he felt his whole world shift. He got lost in her brown eyes and he felt a drop in his stomach and a fluttery feeling. It was her. He had found his mate. She looked so familiar, but did he know her? Did she know him? He didn’t have a chance to linger as the bell rang and he was pulled in one direction whilst she was pulled in the other.

 He had spent the whole day with his head in the clouds thinking of her and when he was leaving school, he saw her once more getting into a car with… no…Liam Beauregard? He was notorious for his womanizing ways. He didn’t do love or commitment. He was in simple words, a dog.

 Walking his way to Jake’s car, he stared out the window in misery. His mate with another wolf? A deplorable one at that.

 “Uhh dude, you getting out or coming home with me?” Jake laughed.

 “Sorry man, see y’all at practice” Shawn grinned, shaking it off. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell his friend yet.

 He was lying on his bed formulating a plan to murder Liam when his thoughts returned to her and all he could do was smile.

 He had found her. He had found his mate. And she was perfect. Petite in height, quite slim from what he could see, not that he’d care if she was otherwise. Black hair, dark brows, chocolate brown eyes and caramel skin with plump lips. She was stunning. He wondered if she was Spanish or something. She definitely looked it.

 Broken out of his thoughts by his Mom’s voice telling him to leave his bed and the sound of a car pulling up, he suddenly remembered his Mom telling him Elena Prescott would be coming over for afternoon tea today. Elena was one of the few wolves mated to a human in their pack. Her mate actually helped out by playing the role of pack doctor on Wednesdays. They were both nice people. Besides, Elena was Shawn’s favourite babysitter as a kid. He could ask her about her human mate bond. Rare but possible, as Shawn now knew. Or did he. Was she human? He didn’t have time to dwell as he trudged downstairs to greet Elena.

 After saying hi and being told to make tea by his Mom, he returned to smiled at his babysitter who now had 5 children of her own now if he remembered correctly.

 “Hey there Rockstar” Elena smiled.

 “Ellie” Shawn smiled brightly at her.

 “You and Aaliyah are the only ones to get away with calling me that”

 “we were the best kids you ever babysat and you know it” Shawn grinned.

 “Quite possibly” Elena avoided answering

 “How are you kids?” he quizzed, genuinely interested.

 “Growing” she said ominously. “and fast”

 “How old are they all now?”

 “Jesse’s five, Chelsea is three and Levi and Alex are 18 months.”

 “Man, your house must be loud” Shawn laughed.

 “You’ve no idea. The dogs are quieter than my kids and you can hear them bark from here” Elena said dramatically.

 Suddenly Elena moved and knocked her keys off the coffee table which Shawn immediately picked up for her before spotting the keychain and the photo on it. Of Elena, her husband, her kids and Shawn’s mate.

 “Ellie who’s the older girl? You’ve only got 4 four kids” Shawn observed.

 “Oh, that’s Ava, our biggest ray of sunshine. She’s not much younger than you actually, Lewis actually had four kids from his previous marriage, she’s his third child and second daughter” Elena explained.

 “Does she know about all of this?” Shawn asked.

 “No, we agreed to keep her out of it until necessary” Elena said. “We’ll have to tell her eventually because of Jesse” Elena sighed. “Her best friend comes from a wolf family too actually, Katie Beauregard”

 “Marcus’ daughter?” Karen asked.

 “One and only, her and Katie have been attached to the hip since she moved her. More like sisters than friends those two are”

 He couldn’t believe his ears. Elena’s stepdaughter was his mate. He’d hit the jackpot. He could find out everything from her.

 “I feel like I’ve seen her before” Shawn muttered. “Does she go to my school or something?” he feigned ignorance.

 “Year below you actually” Elena told him.

 “Oh, well if ever see the two of you I’ll make sure I come and say hi” Shawn smiled politely before turning to his Mom. “I have practice now, I’ll be home for dinner, just later than usual. Bye guys”

 Turning and running out of the house he walked his way to Kyle’s house two blocks over, smiling the whole way there.

 Ava. Her name was Ava Prescott. The name suited her. Just thinking of her made him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. He’d locked eyes with her for a split second but it was enough for him to know she was his mate. Beautiful chocolate almond shaped eyes and a gorgeous smile based off what he’d seen when she was dragged out by her friends, grinning at their enthusiasm. He didn’t notice much too overcome with his initial emotions and heart eyes.

 He did however notice Jason Lewis eyeing her up like a piece of meat as she got dragged past him.

Asshole.

 All Shawn knew was that he had to find a way to talk to her, get to know her and somehow manage not to freak her out in the process.

 He was going to be with his mate.

Part 2

[songofwizardry]

wolfstar teacher!au, part 2: the other marauders

part 1 of my wolfstar teacher!au that I posted an embarrassingly long time ago (you can find it here) got way, waaay more attention than I was expecting it to, so here y’all go: part 2, the backstory for Sirius, James and Peter, and how they all ended up in and around Hogwarts. Feat. our faves, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter! as always, enjoy and let me know what y’all think! [content warning: parental queerphobia/abuse/implied awfulness in bullet points 3 to 6.] ☆------------------------☆------------------------☆

So let’s talk about where our faves, the rest of the Marauders, are.

Being posh af, both James Potter and Sirius Black attended Hogwarts from the time they started secondary school.

Originally from London, Sirius is the kid of Orion, a Senegalese diplomat who was posted in London right at the start of his career, and Walburga, oldest daughter of a Ghanaian-French high-society couple, who moved from Paris to London when she was a child.

Sirius’ interactions with their family headed straight towards disastrous very quickly—during their initial years at Hogwarts, Sirius’ rebellion got more and more noticeable, all number of increasingly-terse letters and increasingly-angry phone calls were exchanged during term-time, and summers got increasingly-awful every year. This culminated in Sirius being outed, in a horrible, dramatic, and very teen-TV-drama-very-special-queer-episode-esque way at one am one night, the summer between their fifth and sixth years.

The ensuing conversation (‘I will not tolerate anything – anyone – of that sort under my roof!’ / ‘Well that’s fucking fine, isn’t it, because I won’t be under your roof!’ / ‘You’re doing this to yourself, Sirius, remember that—we’re not kicking you out. You’re making this choice.’ / ‘Oh yes, just one in a long string of things I’ve chosen to do, things I’ve chosen to be, isn’t it? Fine, then, I’m choosing to leave.’) meant that Sirius walked out of Grimmauld Place at about two-thirty in the morning, with only their coat, their mobile that was on twenty percent charge, and their ‘emergencies’ bag that they’d had for years now (it didn’t contain much more than several old cereal bars, about a hundred quid in change that a much-younger Sirius had squirrelled away, and a scrap of paper, dating back to first year, with James’ home number and his address scrawled on in messy handwriting that was definitely not Sirius’).

More than slightly out of it, Sirius ended up walking to the end of the road, called a cab to drive them across London in the middle of the night, paid the ludicrous eighty-something pound fare in mostly one- and two-pound coins, and finally, at about four in the morning, stood in front of the Potters’ house and called their landline.

(It was James’ dad who picked up, James’ dad who insisted Just call me Monty, now, none of that, whenever Sirius referred to him as Mr. Potter, James’ dad who’d given Sirius a hug the second time they’d met and whose glasses were somehow, impossibly, even more crooked than James’ own. When he picked up the phone, his voice was thicker, accent broader, with sleep; and Sirius, suddenly horribly unsure, crumpled the ancient note from James in one fist and said, “Hey, uh, Mr. Potter? I’ve—well, I’ve left my house, I’m—outside yours? Can I come in?”)

That was how Sirius, short of everything but legal adoption, ended up a Potter child, had their diet switched to one that suddenly contained far too many rotis, and was introduced by James solely as his sibling, with an associated glare that dared anyone to question it.

After Hogwarts, Sirius’ deep-seated desire to not return to London manifested in them running off to St. Andrews to do a fine art degree. Mrs. Potter, who had been looking forward to having the children not be off in Scotland, was slightly disappointed, but she responded by instead posting Sirius numerous packages of fancy teabags, because Mrs. Potter (rightfully) believed that in the absence of being actually there to fuss over someone, the next best alternative was to provide them with tea.

While Sirius was off being artsy as fuck, James Potter was off… also being pretty artsy. In a move that made Monty raise his eyebrows and quietly wonder how he’d ended up with not one, but two children doing creative arts, James stayed closer to home, went to Reading, and read English and Creative Writing. It took staying on for a Master’s for James to decide he’d had enough of academia, and of the overwhelming whiteness of English departments, for a bit, and to decide that he wanted A Break, and also a source of income that wasn’t a student loan. Enter Sirius.

James had been off being pretty unemployable, while Sirius was being… slightly more employable. A couple years volunteering during their degree had led them to the shocking realisation that holy shit, they liked teaching people about artsy shit. Their only problem was that nobody (short of the Potter parents, but Sirius wasn’t keen on taking more money from them) wanted to fund an art teacher. A year out of uni, with a year of mixed work and volunteering under their belt – leading museum tours, art therapy at kids’ hospitals, one particularly fantastic weekend spent spray-painting with a youth group in Manchester, pretty much anything they could get their hands on that had ‘art’ and ‘young people’ in the description – Sirius heard, through the grapevine, that Trelawney had finally retired.

On a whim, they called up Hogwarts. The conversation with Dumbledore went something like this: ‘I haven’t got a teaching qualification, sir, but I do have a full year of experience–‘ / ‘We’re an independent school, Sirius, we don’t exactly need the qualification. Anyway, an art degree and some experience is more than Sibyl had when she started, so why don’t you send an application along to me, hmm?’

Hogwarts got back to Sirius quickly, which is how, a week later, they called up James, saying, “Hey, you know how you wanted a break from uni and all that shit? How do you feel about moving to Hogsmeade with me?”

It was a completely impractical decision. James, unlike Sirius, didn’t have a job offer there, didn’t have plans, he only had the sudden realisation that he’d kinda missed living with Sirius, and his pretty-unshakeable confidence that things would always turn out the way they were meant to.

He said yes.

Which is how, two years down the road, we find the two of them here—living opposite The Three Broomsticks in a small house, one bedroom on the bottom floor and one on the top, that’s owned by Rosmerta.

Sirius is an established figure at Hogwarts, where they’re a bit of a student favourite and have acquired a reputation for being slightly chaotic (possibly because they once let a stressed year eleven class decorate the wall of the art classroom, spray-painting it with the words No such thing as bad art!).

James, being a bit too posh to have ever done the unemployed-grad thing of waiting tables, is a triple-threat freelancer instead—he writes fortnightly book reviews, which often end up with a bit of a commentary on The Human Condition, for eccentric magazine The Quibbler; he contributes regularly to Parivaar, an online artsy zine/website/collective that started up in Birmingham but has now got contributors across the UK and readers across the world, that describes itself as art, fiction, and opinions by and for desi rebels, misfits and weirdos; and, because Hogsmeade is small, he does the marketing and runs the social media for The Three Broomsticks—which isn’t much work, considering how small it is, but at least he can ensure the fifty-odd people, mostly students, who follow @3BroomsticksPub only see grammatically-perfect tweets.

The Potter parents are… slightly concerned about James’ rather non-traditional sources of income, but Euphemia reads The Quibbler and can’t deny he writes very well, and he says he’s fine and no, the two of them don’t need any help with the rent, thank you very much, so they tut a bit from afar and perhaps still send them too many teabags, and load both James and Sirius up with a frankly ridiculous number of tupperware containers full of curry and roti when they come visit.

This is when James and Sirius meet Peter Pettigrew.

It’s a rainy evening in late March. The two of them have, earlier that day, just come back up from London, where they spent the weekend with James’ parents, who wanted to see him for his birthday. They’re now in the Three Broomsticks, because that’s what they do—Sirius is nursing a pint, hair up in a bun, sketching out an idea for a mural—they’ve convinced Dumbledore that the third-floor corridor that students insist is haunted by the spirit of a giant, three-headed dog is in need of a rebrand before another generation of first-years gets pranked by being trapped in there and is scarred for life. James has lemonade and is watching Sirius, recounting the many tales of the three-headed dog he heard during his time at Hogwarts, including the one story that claims the spirit is called Fluffy. This is when they see Peter.

Anyone new at The Three Broomsticks sticks out when it’s not a student visit weekend, and this short white guy, his hair and coat and rucksack wet from the rain, is no exception. He looks damp and cold and rather lost and lonely, sitting at a corner table with a drink, so James, being Euphemia and Monty’s son and thus, genetically speaking, destined to be the ultimate mother hen, decides to go over to him and offer to buy him some of Rosmerta’s excellent, and very warming, tomato soup. That’s just what James does, and Sirius is used to it at this point, so they only watch, amused, as James drags the sodden stranger over to join their table.

Introductions are made, and they learn that Peter, who was born in Shropshire, trained to be a nurse in Shropshire, and until very recently, worked in Shropshire, had finally left Shropshire – for good – for Hogsmeade, because his Mum had died earlier that year and he couldn’t stay in the same house. Through the NHS friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend grapevine, he’d ended up finding a job at St. Mungo’s Hospital, a few towns over, and was moving in with a woman he’d only spoken to on the phone, a Lily Evans—she was also a friend-of-a-friend found through the same grapevine, lived further down in Hogsmeade, towards the Hog’s Head, and had recently also started work at St. Mungo’s, and needed someone to split the rent with. In short, Peter explains, draining the very last of the admittedly-incredible tomato soup, everything feels like a bit of a mess, and he would really like to take a nap for about a week.

Aforementioned mother hen, James, is appropriately horrified and sympathetic at Peter’s plight, and declares himself and Sirius Peter’s “official guides” to life in Hogsmeade and settling in.

It’s only a few short months after this – a few months during which Peter hangs out with James and Sirius regularly at The Three Broomsticks, they meet his housemate Lily, and Sirius lets the leavers’ class, slightly dead after all their exams, help paint a giant mural on the third-floor corridor that features a surprisingly-cute three-headed ghost dog, with the Hogwarts crest and the word FLUFFY on its collar – that Sirius hears about The New Teacher.

At this point, they’re kinda used to the disaster that is the state of physics teaching at Hogwarts. It’s early in the summer, and they’re vaguely aware that Flitwick is running interviews again, only because it’s the talk of the staff room and the entire science department have looked like they’re on the verge of breakdown since Moody, or as they call it in the staff room, The Iraqi Plane Incident.

That weekend, though, they run into Flitwick in Gladrags, where Flitwick is searching, as always, for trousers that will fit his small frame, and Flitwick takes one look at them, grins, and says, “Sirius! We found someone! He’s called Lupin, he’s got an actual physics degree, and, consider this, he seems decent!”

And that is the first thing Sirius Black hears about Remus Lupin.

[seanpatricklittlewriter]

The Movie Post

Greetings and salutations, true believers. I haven’t posted anything in a while other than shameless book promotion stuff for #FourthAndWrong, and for that I apologize. I always say I’d let you know if anything good happened immediately, but nothing good has happened. The new book is out. A few people who have read it told me they liked it. It’s not selling well. Lack of sales means a lack of reviews, which only helps it not sell faster. It’s all a vicious cycle. At a certain point, you have to remember that you’re only writing books because some tiny voice in your head won’t let you stop, and you just throw your hands up and let everything else fall as it may. For the first time, I’ve actually bothered to try real advertising. I’m giving advertising on the Kindle lock screens a go. I’ll let you know if actually works.

 In the meantime, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts while puttering around the house, going for walks, and ignoring the gym. (I gotta stop ignoring the gym…) If you haven’t watched “Ted Lasso” on AppleTV yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s one of the best shows I’ve watched in a long time. Great writing. Great characters. Great story. Very uplifting and wonderful. One of the show’s writers, creators, and stars, the wonderful Brett Goldstein (who plays the gruff Roy Kent on the show), has a podcast called “Films to Buried With.”

 I started listening to his podcast because I enjoy him on the show so much, and I’ve found out that I enjoy his podcast as much as the show. He’s a genuinely sweet man, and he gets comedian and actor friends to guest on his podcast. The show’s conceit is that Brett invites guests on, tells them they have died, and then gets them to relive their life through the films that meant something to them. It’s a fun little chat show, and a solid way to waste an hour while you’re getting through doing the dishes or mowing the lawn.

 It’s precisely the sort of podcast I would love to be on. I’ve always said you can judge your level of success by what people invite you to do. I always said I’d know if I “made it” if I could ever get invited to be on one of the podcasts I enjoy, rather than trying to wrangle my way into someone else’s podcast or blog. So far— this has not happened. That should tell you what level of success I’m stuck at. I don’t get invited to the movies by my imaginary friends. But Brett encourages people to share their ideas and opinions on social media, anyhow. It’s a fun way to play along at home, tell other people about the podcast, and start conversations around your favorite movies. Stories bind us together. They give us common ground and build bridges toward strengthening relationships. If you meet someone new, you can tell if you’ll get along with them by what films they enjoy. So in that spirit, I’d like to answer the questions Brett asks his guests by discussing a few of my favorite films. If you’d like to play along in the comments, please do. I always love reading about what other people think about movies, books, or music. I won’t bother going through the death/afterlife conceit he uses, but I recommend listening to a few of his podcasts if you enjoy this sort of thing. It’s a fun little premise he uses to generate the episodes.

 --What’s the first film you remember seeing?

         I remember bits and pieces of several films from my childhood. I remember the Muppet Movie in the theater. I remember seeing The Black Hole. I remember a lot of little chunks of a lot of Disney animated films. But the movie that sticks out in my head is “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It was 1981. I was six. I remember going to see it on a Sunday matinee with my family. I remember it was packed. People were literally sitting on the floor in the aisles. We got three seats someplace, but I remember my dad having to sit in the row in front of us. I don’t remember a ton about the movie the first time I saw it other than being scared of the pit of snakes and the melting Nazi faces. However, I remember the iconic moment when Harrison Ford pulled the gun on the swordsman and shot him. I remember the audience reaction and thinking, “That’s a hero.” I’ve long been a Harrison Ford fan. Between Han Solo and Indiana Jones, he played two of the most iconic heroes of my childhood. When I wrote the TeslaCon novels, I made no secret that my protagonist, Nicodemus Clarke, was just a shallow rip-off of Indiana Jones. It’s funny, but to this day, in my head, if you ask me what a hero looks like, it’s always going to be Harrison Ford.

  --What’s the scariest film you’ve ever seen?

          The scariest film I’ve ever seen is Kevin Smith’s “Red State.” It’s a movie about a religious cult that’s very reminiscent of the Westboro Baptist Church, David Koresh/Waco compound, or any of the other extremely far-right Christian separatist movements. It’s scary because there are many, many of these gun-hoarding compounds, and the movie, while extreme, is not too far off from possibility. Michael Parks plays the leader of the family at the heart of the film, and his performance was award worthy. He was truly terrifying.     As an aside, prior to Red State, I always told people the movie that scared me the most was the original “The Amityville Horror.” Basically, I saw the scene where the poltergeist made the drop-sash window fall on the kid’s fingers and nearly sever them, and that was it. I had the same drop-sash windows in my bedroom, and I was scared of them from then on. I’d like to say that I outgrew my fear of drop-sash windows, but I’m 46 and they still skeeze me out when I see them. A movie I saw 40 years ago warped me forever.

  --What’s the movie that made you cry the most?

         I used to not be someone who cried at movies. However, years of thyroid issues and depression have messed with my response to emotional moments, so I do get teary nowadays at movies. Emotionally speaking, it’s not sad movies that get to me. It’s movies where someone overcomes something difficult. Especially sports movies. The ones that get me the most teary-eyed now are movies like the first “Rocky,” “Hoosiers,” “Miracle,” and “Rudy.” I also get teary-eyed at points of bravery to the point of stupidity. The best example of that is the climax and denouement of “How to Train Your Dragon.” Strangely enough, when a movie does something that is supposed to be a tear-jerker moment to the point that it panders to the audience, I don’t cry— I actually get angry. Anything Nicolas Sparks has ever had his name attached to, for instance. It’s maudlin, and it doesn’t deserve our respect.

  --What the film that made you laugh the most?

       This is not going to be a popular answer. If I was a little more erudite, I’d say something like ��Airplane” or “Blazing Saddles” or “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” However, I didn’t see any of those in the theater originally. I was home, watching them on video. While they were funny and some of my favorite movies, I did not really do a ton of laughing while I saw them. I went to see “BASEketball” with my sister, and the theater was packed. Something about seeing a movie in a crowded theater heightens the emotional impact of jokes, and for whatever reason, that movie put me on the floor a couple of times. It’s a silly movie full of cheap laughs, but I remember hurting as I was leaving the theater. My sides and cheeks were sore. Second on that list was the movie “Bridesmaids.” I don’t think I’ve laughed harder at any movie than the scene where they all get diarrhea in the bridal shop. Especially Melissa McCarthy: “LOOK AWAY!”

  --What is the sexist film you’ve seen?

         For me, I will never forget seeing “Bachelor Party” on HBO at a friend’s house. Monique Gabrielle’s scene is probably the first time I saw full-frontal female nudity in a film. It burned itself into my brain. I probably have a thing for redheads to this day because of that scene. The rest of the movie is very wild and funny. It was one of the launching blocks for Tom Hanks’s ridiculously amazing career. But that one moment stands out as one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.

  --What film did you used to love, but now it’s not that great?

         Pretty much anything with “Rocky” in the title and a number following it. I still enjoy them, but Rocky III and IV, especially— not that good. I used to love them. I used to watch them whenever they hit TV, but now I only need to watch the first “Rocky,” and maybe the final fight in “Rocky II.” Anything else, I can leave out. They just feel a little overclocked at this point in my life.

  --What’s a film that people and critics panned, but you enjoyed?

        “Goon.” It’s a hockey film written by Jay Baruchel and starring Seann William Scott. It didn’t get wide release—almost straight-to-video. It didn’t get great reviews. I think Metacritic has it around 60%. But something about that movie hit me, and I love it. I suggest it to people all the time. It’s got great performances. It’s a solid flick. It’s not going to overwhelm you. It’s now one of my comfort films. When I’m bored and need something on in the background, I will often choose “Goon” or its sequel, “Goon: Last of the Enforcers.” The sequel was not as good as the original, but it’s still worth a watch. Kurt Russell’s son Wyatt is the villain in the sequel. He’s extremely good.

  --What’s a film that people love, but you hate?

        Hands down: “Avatar” or “Titanic.” Something about a lot of James Cameron films just don’t work with me. I think it’s because they’re too grandiose. They try too hard. Also, the scripts are just there to get him to the big, visual set-pieces. They’re thin on both character and plot. I can’t stand either of them.

  --What’s a film that means a lot to you, but it’s not because of the quality of the movie (i.e. you saw it with someone and it’s special, or it has importance to people around you, etc…)?

       Easily, “The Man From Snowy River.” This is a family favorite. I grew up watching this flick, and I made my daughter watch it when she was younger. I will never get tired of it. I probably watch it maybe three or four times a year. There’s just something about the cinematography of the climax when Jim goes down the mountainside on Denny’s back. It’s always breath-taking. Also, if you watch “The Man From Snowy River,” you see what my dad always wanted his life to be. Most boys’ fathers want their sons to be doctor or lawyers. My dad wanted me to be a cowboy.

  --What film do you relate to the most?

        “Clerks.” I saw “Clerks” when I was a senior in high school. Rented it from a local video store. I saw two dudes who were outliers in their social group working crappy jobs and dealing with the mundane nothingness of life. It hit me right in the gut. I resolved to do something better than that. So far, I’ve failed to do so, but I keep trying.

  --Empirically speaking, what is the best film? (Not necessarily favorite film— but what film do you think is the best film ever made?)

         I have to say it was “Lawrence of Arabia.” The casting was amazing. The cinematography was incredible, unrivaled, really. The story was excellent. And the ordeal of the entire filming process was without peer. What they went through to make that movie, hands down, makes it the best film ever made. The scope of the film alone is mind-boggling.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy is a close second, but that’s technically three films, so I went with Lawrence of Arabia.

  --What film have you seen the most?

         I have watched “The Muppet Movie” a ton. I still love the movie “Roxanne.” I have also seen “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and “The Quiet Man” more than any single person probably should. If I had to think about it and pick one film I’ve seen more than other…it’s probably “Meatballs.” Growing up, my sister and I watched that flick a thousand times. I can probably recite it from memory. It’s also one of the films that cemented an undying loyalty to Bill Murray.

   --And finally: You die and go to heaven. And in heaven, they ask you to pick one film that summarizes your life, one film that makes people understand you, or a film you want people to watch to help them know you better. What is that film?

         Nothing has had more influence on my life than the movie “Ghostbusters.” It defined me in several ways: my love for comedy, my love for the paranormal, and my love for snark and snappy comebacks. I loved Ghostbusters so much that I watched it on a weekly basis. I ran the audio cables from our VCR to a tape deck and recorded an audio copy of the film to play on my Walkman while I road the bus to school every day. I still have the film memorized word-for-word. I will often let my eyes go a little weird and turn to my daughter and say, “Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!” To know me is to understand Ghostbusters on a molecular level. I owe that movie a lot.

  Anyhow, this was a fun way to waste my night. I encourage you to play along. Answer some or all of the questions Brett asks his guests. I highly recommend listening to a few episodes of “Films to Be Buried With” on your favorite podcatcher app. And if anyone out there knows Brett Goldstein, please let him know I’m available to guest on his podcast. Until next time—Thanks for reading.

--Sean

[chasholidays]

Can you do a Harry Potter au where both Bellamy and Clarke independently discover the room of requirement and then all of a sudden start running into each other there and getting angry because this is supposed to be /my/ room and what do you mean I'm not using it right I can use it however I want to

Obviously, Bellamy is happy to be a prefect. It’s a huge honor, and he thinks he’s good at it. For all he knows he can be a little intimidating, he’s always been good with kids, and the younger students know that he’s someone they can trust, that they can come to for advice and help, when they need it.

It’s just that they think they need help a lot. Every time he’s in the Hufflepuff common room, he’s constantly besieged, being asked for homework help, to mediate disputes, what he’s reading, what he’s doing, if he wants to play chess, and even if he deals with them, it feels constant.

As problems to have go, it’s a good one, but sometimes he does just want time to himself.

The library is a little better, but he still thinks of it as more of a social space. It’s where he can do work with his friends from other houses, and he still has plenty of people coming up to ask him for help.

What he wants, by two months into his fifth year, is to just have a place where he can breathe. And, maybe, play video games. The ban on technology is still newly lifted, and even though Hufflepuff has the highest concentration of muggles and muggleborns, his Nintendo Switch is still something of a novelty.

He’s not looking for the Room of Requirement, when he finds it. He’s heard rumors about it, of course, but mostly as a place to hide things, not a place to hide people. But the door appears when he’s thinking how much he needs a break from everything, and he knows it wasn’t there before, so it must be a place for him to get away.

It’s clear, when he goes in, that he’s not the only one to use the room for this purpose. There are half-finished projects lying around, things that are less hidden and more private. There’s definitely some porn, which makes sense even if he has no interest in investigating it, and a bed, and a couch.

Most importantly for his purposes, it has a television and a place to plug his Switch in, so he flips the cushion on the couch, puts his feet up, and settles in for a few hours of real, honest-to-god privacy.

What a concept.

*

Going to the room becomes a part of his routine. He doesn’t do it often, both because he wants to be available for the kids who want to talk to him and because he doesn’t want to hog the space. The room seems pretty good about not appearing when people are in there and really need to be alone, or at least that’s his interpretation. There have been times when he passes by and the door refuses to appear, and once he monitored it after that and saw Gina and Raven leaving after, straightening their robes. But other times, he’s been in there and had other people come in, so apparently the room considers solitude to be his preference, not his need. And, to be fair, he’s never been upset about having the company. Miller and Monty came in once, clearly looking to hook up, but they were happy to play some games with him, and he left after to give them some alone time. And the other people he’s in there are mostly people he likes, ones who are looking for solitude of their own and don’t bother him.

After about a month, Clarke Griffin shows up, and that’s–different.

It’s not, precisely, that he dislikes Clarke. He learned early on that Slytherin was full of pureblooded bigots, but Miller is a Slytherin, and they made friends fast, so he was more wary of them than outright hostile. He and Clarke clashed in a fairly natural way, but it was a clash of personalities, not of ideals. They’re just the kind of people who liked to bicker, and they still like to bicker.

They’re not really good at being friendly, though.

Clarke takes a second to take him in. He’s on the couch with a bag of chocolate frogs, playing Breath of the Wild. It’s what he’s done basically every time he’s come in here, except sometimes he has different snacks.

“Really?” she finally asks.

“What?”

She flops down next to him on the couch, putting her feet up with a huff. “You need a special room to play video games?”

“I need a special room to get some alone time. The first years really want to tell me how to kill moblins, and they suck at it.”

“How are you supposed to kill moblins?”

“Wait until they’re asleep and rain death from above.” He glances at her, frowning. “What do you do in here?”

She bristles. “Why should I tell you?”

“Because if you don’t, you can’t do it. I don’t mind sharing, but I’m not leaving just so you can do some unidentified thing.”

“What if I want privacy?” she asks, in a pointed way, and he tries very hard to not think about Clarke coming in here for some alone time.

“I just got here, so give me an hour and then it’s all yours.”

She thinks it over, then says, “I’m working on a project.”

“That’s it?”

“All you’re doing is playing video games, is that supposed to be better?”

“Not better. I’m just surprised you’re being so sketchy about a project.”

She huffs. “It’s a Slytherin thing.”

“You’re not making this make any more sense.”

“Secret santa,” she finally says. “We’re doing a house secret santa and the point is half coming up with something that your giftee will like and half figuring out who got you and what the gift is. So I’m making mine somewhere there aren’t any Slytherins.”

“That’s actually kind of cute.”

“Way better than video games,” she teases, and he kicks her foot.

“Shut up.”

*

When he gets back from winter break, Bellamy actually finds himself rethinking his use of the room of requirement. In part, it’s that he assumes Clarke won’t be there, now that her project is done, and she’d become something of a perk, so if she’s gone, he’ll have a lot less fun. She was coming in at the same time he was every week, and they weren’t exactly hanging out, but it was close. She made fun of him for needing a place to hide from the Hufflepuffs and he threatened to tell the Slytherins what she was working on.

Fun, by their standards.

But he also has to admit it doesn’t really feel needed like it used to. The first and second years have settled in and made their own friends, so they’re coming to him less, and he could probably just stay in the common room.

He doesn’t want to, but he could.

This is, presumably, why he can’t get the door to appear, though. Because he doesn’t need a place to be alone right now, not really.

Honestly, what he needs is a place where he can hang out with Clarke, but—

The door, obediently, materializes in the wall, and when he opens it, Clarke is already there, sitting on the couch with her legs tucked under her.

He can’t help his grin. “Hey, how was your break?”

She moves her books so there’s room for him to put his stuff down. “Okay. How about yours?”

“Kind of awkward. My sister is really bitter that I got magic powers and she didn’t so every time I go home she’s angry at me for like a solid week. So I barely have time for her to get over before I’m coming back.”

“I guess that would be weird for muggle families.”

“I can’t decide if it’s would be worse if she was a squib. They’re probably both tough.”

“Is she your only sibling?”

“Yeah. What about you, any siblings?”

“No, just me.”

“But you’re halfblood, right?”

“Yeah. I think my parents wanted more kids, but it wasn’t in the cards.”

They chat about families, and it’s only when they’re getting ready to leave and he remembers how he got the room to open that he realizes he doesn’t know what she was doing.

“What did you need in here, anyway?”

“Oh, one of the first years is sick, I didn’t want to catch anything.”

He snorts. “I’m sure there are other places you can go to not get sick, Clarke.”

“I was here, the door appeared, so I must have needed it. QED.”

“QED,” he agrees. “So I’m not going to see you here next week?”

“Not unless I need it for something.”

“Cool. I guess we’ll find out.”

*

“Did you know technology still doesn’t work in the Slytherin common room?” she asks him next week, when he finally remembers to actually ask what she’s doing. They spent about an hour talking about movies, somehow. He’s still not sure how.

“So, let me get this straight—“

“Queer,” says Clarke.

“What?”

“You’re not straight, right? I’m not either. So we’re getting it queer.”

He laughs. “Okay, yeah, let me get this queer. You made fun of me for needing a special room to play video games, but here you are dicking around on your phone.”

“Your Switch works in your common room, you don’t need a special place for it.”

“Your phone works in the library.”

“So does your Switch. Where is it, by the way? Did you beat the game?”

“I can actually play in the common room now,” he says without thinking. “It’s quieted down.”

She nudges his shoulder. “So what are you doing here?”

The answer is, of course, looking for her, but he can’t say that. “Games are fine, but I still can’t really concentrate on homework in the common room, so–”

“So, you’re such a giant nerd that you come to the room of requirement to do homework.”

“The homework needs to get done, Clarke.”

She smirks over her shoulder. “But it didn’t.”

“And you barely looked at your phone.”

“Well, I didn’t have that much to do.” She bites the corner of her mouth. “But I’ll probably want to do the same thing next week, so–”

He nearly sags with the relief of it. “So I’ll see you then.”

*

By the third meeting, Bellamy’s sort of forgotten about the logistics of what I need a place to see Clarke might be. She’s usually there before him, and he figured that it wasn’t a big deal. Even if she wasn’t there, he could still have a place to meet her.

So when he goes over early because he actually wants to get some work done, he’s not expecting it to make any difference. She’ll show up when she shows up. No big deal.

Instead, when he opens the door, Clarke just kind of–appears, in her pajamas, looking confused and disoriented.

“Bellamy?”

“Hey,” he says, slow. “I, uh–came early.”

“What am I doing here?”

“I guess I needed you,” he offers, because he’s not sure what the fuck else to say. He spontaneously summoned her. There’s no other explanation.

To his relief, she laughs. “Wow, that’s actually really smooth. Seriously, what have you been coming here for?”

“I needed somewhere to spend time with you.”

“Really?”

“That’s how I get the door to show up, yeah.”

She bites her lip, grinning. “I just ask for somewhere to hook up.”

“And then you never use it.”

“I haven’t used it yet,” she corrects, tugging him in. “What were you doing here early?”

“Nothing this important,” he says, and kisses her.

*

Next week, they go to the room together, which Bellamy has to admit is a lot more efficient.

“So, is this an acceptable use of the room of requirement?” he teases, kissing her jaw. “Or do we need to play video games too?”

“This is all I’ve been wanting to do with the room of requirement for weeks,” she says. It’s not like they haven’t made out other places, but he’ll admit that he’s been looking forward to being here. It feels like their place. “But I wouldn’t mind playing video games after we hook up.”

“Perfect,” she says. “That sounds like exactly what I need.”

[cats-and-writing]

Bet On It - Murphy AU Imagine*

*Kind of.

This was supposed to be a present for a secret santa exchange in the writing crew that I’m in, but I ended up doing another one for the girl. So now you guys get to have this one. 

“Bet on it”

“Y/L/N!” A voice snapped at me. I looked up from the book in my hand, behind the bars in my room stood one of the guards. I think his name is Simon…or maybe it’s Michael. Greasy hair fell on his beady eyes as he pushed it back only for it to fall forward again, his lanky figure was so tall that it seemed to fold into himself. “Stand up and hold your hands in the air.”

“Why?” I couldn’t help but question as I did what I was told, months of beating when you didn’t do as told making me execute orders.  

His laugh sent chills down my spine. Simon or is it Michael? opened the cell door and walked inside while taking out his handcuff. “It seems you’re one of the lucky ones to enter the 100 program.” He jerked my arms down and pulled them behind my back, pain burst in my shoulders. Cuffing them he pushed me out of my cell, once outside I could see a few more people being pushed out of their cells, some questioned the guards and other just complied in silence.

We were all pushed into a line, armed guards stood walking besides us, behind, while some stood in the higher levels guns pointed toward us. It was all a little too much most of us where kids, the oldest one barely reaching 18. Once outside the prison we were pushed into a waiting van.

“Hi!”

I turned to the excited voice besides me. A guy waved at me, or as much as you can while handcuffed, a smile crossing his face. He was pale, strands of dark hair fell into his face while the rest of it was pushed back by…goggles?

“I’m Jasper, and that besides you is Monty.” He points to an Asian guy besides him, who’s also smiling. I waved as much as I could. “So… do you know where we going?”

“I’m Y/N, and nop,” I responded with a ‘pop’. “I know as much as you do,” I turned back to Jasper, “which is nothing.”

He shakes his head. “Damn, these dudes don’t tell us anything.” Jasper leaned in, an air of accomplice around him. “I heard they’re trying a new program.”

Program? Why would they take us out of the prison for that? It might be the same one Simon or Michael told me.

 “What program?” 

Jasper opened his mouth to answer when our seat shuddered, our heads snapped to the side. A slight guy scowled at us, he nodded his head to the side, standing a few feet’s behind us stood Simon… Michael? While his back was turned to us, he stood still while his face was slightly turned toward us clearly listening to our conversation. I looked back to the guy, his scowl seemed to had deepened and a sneer was grazing his lips as he looked over to the guard.

“Eric, come here!” Another guard stuck his head inside the van, Simon or Michael turned around. So, his named was Eric, who would’ve thought so. Eric went over to the other guard, both muttered quietly on the door. Eric motioned to the inside of the van while the guard frowned at him, with a sigh Eric seemed to give up and walked out of the car leaving us all unsupervised. Moments later they returned with another guy in tow. A prisoner. He was tall, wavy hair framing his tanned skin, hos brown eyes scanned the van as if to look for something.

“Get moving, Blake.”

The guard pushed him forward. Walking down the van his eyes kept flickering around looking like he wasn’t being pushed around. he was pushed to the back of the van, once the boy was secured, the guard positioned himself in the front, and we were on our way to whatever they were taking us.

After what it seemed like an eternity, we’ve come to a stop. Looking around it seemed like we were in the middle of nowhere, trees surrounded us from every side while looming overhead was a seemingly old building. The guards up front muttered to themselves, the words road, lost, and angry drifted through the air a few seconds later the van started moving again following a partially hidden dirt road.  This honestly looked taken out of a horror novel, and not a very good one.  “Hey, does this feels strange to you too?” Jasper leaned over as he whispered. I kept quiet. A few minutes passed and the looming building came into view, a sing hanged from its gates; ‘Grounds Reformatory’. The van came to a stop once it reached the building, the guards started pulling us out and pushing us into the reformatory. The inside looked a little upgraded from its front, but the cobwebs and dust hanging in the air told us all we needed to know, this wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Welcome to Grounds Reformatory, I’m doctor Grounds.” A man came down a flight of stairs as if this place needed more clichés. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought like that, snickers and snorts resonated all around the room. Dr. Grounds glared at us for a moment before smiling once more. “You’ve been selected to form part of a social adaptation program. You’re the first group to ever form part of it, history is in the making.”

“Guinea pigs more likely.” I heard someone mutter behind me. looking back, I came face to face with the guy from earlier, he gave me a smirk before turning back to the doctor. Sweeping over the group, I saw the last guy to enter the van, he was looking at something in his right. A girl stood staring straight ahead, her wavy hair and tanned skin mirroring that of the guy. Family, maybe? With a shrug, I turned back to Grounds.

“You will all be wearing these wristbands,” He said holding one up, “with these we will be able to track your movements, it will also track your heartbeats.”

His smile when he said that sent chills down my spine. Everything after that was a blur of showing us to our rooms, taking the handcuffs off, and slapping the wristbands on. Apparently, everything we might need was provided, as it became clear once I entered my assigned room. Two beds where pushed to opposite sides of the room, two closets at either side of the door, books, notebooks, pens, and more miscellanies where placed on top of two desk. I walked to one of the closets and opened it up. averaged sized clothes lined the racks, a few pair of shoes took up space on the floor, as I was about to touch one of the items a door opening and shortly closing sounded besides me.

“Hi”

I looked to the side, a blonde girl was standing in front of the closed door. She gave me a smile.

“I’m Clarke. Nice to meet you.” She extended her hand, after a second of consideration I shook it. We hit it off from there. After a few hours of just checking out the clothes provided, and swapping them when the sizes didn’t match we walked out to explore. The more time I spent with her the more I was befuddled as to why she was here in the first place. It seemed almost comical imagining her doing a crime. Well, everyone has some secrets. I smiled to myself at the thought.

“Hey, Y/N,” I looked up at my name, googles boy stood in front of me, his friend standing a foot behind him. “It seems we have a leader.”

“What?”

“Yeah, that guy that was last to enter the van. He’s giving out orders in the common room.”                        

Clarke got a pensive look at that, she turned to me a second later. “We should probably check this out.” I thanked Jasper for the information, and followed Clarke to the common room. The guy from the van stood in the middle of the room while a group of people surrounded him. murmurs of agreement seemed to run across the group as people started to take their wristbands off.

“Wait, wait, wait!”

Clarke stalked to the center of the room. Standing face to face with van guy she faced the group. “Those wristbands are our only communication with the outside. Without them they can’t monitor us.”

“That’s why we’re taking it off.” Van guy interjects. “and you princess are gonna do the same.”

Clarke scoff at the guy. “And who are you exactly?”

The guy stands to his full height at the question as he stares down to her. “Bellamy, the leader of this group.” He stares at Clarke silently challenging her on his decision, she just stares up at him, a challenge clear in her eyes.

“I bet they’re gonna hook up in a week time.” A voice sounded from besides me, looking to the side the guy from earlier stood with a smirk. I looked again to where Bellamy and Clarke stood facing each other. Well, this certainly seemed interesting. I turned to the guy again. “Well…”

“John”

“Well, John, I’m not one to back down from a bet. What are you betting?”

He pulled out a swiss knife from his pocket. I wasn’t really interested in the knife, but seeing how sure he was made me want it. “Give it two weeks.” I gave him a smile and left the room.

A week passed after the bet was made, Bellamy and Clarke fought on every decision made, mostly on the wristband still adorning Clarke’s wrist. Today was no different, their argument could be heard all over the house, and to Murphy this seemed to mean things where progressing. If that’s what it could be said from the way he liked to smirk and wave the knife around as he was doing at this moment.

His cockiness was draining fast as the days come and went and the week was rapidly approaching. Bellamy and Clarke only seemed to keep fighting as they were doing right about now, with a smirk I turned to Murphy sitting on the table behind me.

“It seems you’re losing Murph,” I said with a laugh, “I can already see what’ll do with that knife of yours.”

He sneered in response.

By the second week, Murphy scowled each time Bellamy and Clarke appeared together. His annoyance making winning the bet sweeter and sweeter, I quickly turned to the couple in front of me and lifted my eyebrow to Clarke. A sign passed between us and without a second thought she turned to the man besides her. One hand grasping his neck while the other pulled on his shirt. Bellamy was cut short as Clarke’s lips crashed on his mouth. Everything seemed to still for a second as everyone watched the scene unfolding before them, Bellamy stiffening for a second before sighing into the kiss.

I could only smile as Bellamy and Clarke kissed, what made it even better was the annoyed look on Murphy’s face as he looked on. Breakfast couldn’t get any better.

“Murphy!” One of his friends called him. Standing up he walked out of the room; I put out my hand when he walked pass. The cool metal of the knife made my grin grow, bets are certainly interesting little things.

[anthony-cohen-blog]

QUESTIONNAIRE

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? Anthony Joshua Cohen

Where and when were you born? In a small, barely-named town on the west coast of the US, 25 years ago

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Monty and Eshel Cohen, both working at the local middle school of our town, my father as a maths teacher, my mother as the librarian. They are mellow-hearted, simple people who mean no harm and pull their small weight in society as best as they can, hardly ever complaining, never wanting more than just leading a happy, comfortable life. 

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No siblings by blood, no, but Tanner, James and Micah who I met in the Biel hospital will always somehow count as family.

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. Tanner has temporarily given me shelter until I find an affordable apartment. Sometimes I dream about never leaving her again, but she is with her girlfriend, and who am I to intrude?

What is your occupation? Waiting in a bar and sorting in products in a supermarket.

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. People say I look good, I prefer not to look at all. I try to blend, and I think my unflashy appearance helps, but for the leather jacket that is. But I need this one. I’ve got blue eyes, curly light hair (it’s rather soft but I don’t like people touching it) and pale skin; all attributes that make it easy to be trusted and forgotten by the people I meet.

To which social class do you belong? Despite not owning much at the moment and requiring two pasttime jobs to pay my mere share, I would still consider myself middle class because if I were to truly need it, I coudl always go back home to my parents and ask for help. That is a luxury not many have. 

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? You mean except turning into a walking bush every now and then? No.

Are you right or left-handed? Right-handed.

What does your voice sound like? I keep it low, I don’t like talking, I don’t like people hearing me, so I guess I mumble a lot. But I’ve also spent a lot of time living with someone far away from any noise, so I prefer being silent than talking over noises around me. 

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? I make sure not to have verbal habits, as they help people remember you. But I think I shrug a lot, if that counts.

What do you have in your pockets? Let me see. Cigarettes, a lighter, keys, money, the usual. Oh, and if you don’t tell anyone ... a few pretty stones I found along my way. They mean nothing. But they’re pretty.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? No. As I said, I make sure not to. 

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? Chaotic, very stressful. My parents wanted to know what was wrong with me, and eventually gave me to the Biels. Those are anything but happy memories, but everything after that was a simple, calm life. They thought I had been cured, you know.

What is your earliest memory? The red balloon I got for my third birthday, I was very excited about it, don’t ask.

How much schooling have you had? I graduated high school.

Did you enjoy school? I never hated it. Learning in itself is something wonderful, but sitting in a classroom all day was never my favourite thing to do, even if I didn’t despise it. I was never bullied or particularly popular either, by the way, so I never made horrible memories.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? At the Biel Hospital, learning how to shut all emotions out. I think, above all, this is what taught me how to survive.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. No. I never wanted to be like anyone else because I never wanted to be.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? After I came back from the hospital, well. They are normal and simple people, I am good at being normal and simple. Totally ... human.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Cured.

As a child, what were your favorite activities? I liked listening to people talk and read to me, I think. I was never allowed around other kids before the hospital, so I don’t think I had many exciting hobbies worth talking about.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I think I was predispositioned to be a happy child, but my parents sorrows about my condition made me, if not anxious, quiet and guilt-charged.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? I spent most of my days alone before the hospital, in the hospital I met Tanner, James and Micah and we were great friends, family, and after the hospital I was good with a few people I shared classes with. I went to parties and proms but I was also never invited to sleep overs or dates. 

When and with whom was your first kiss? Cora Singer, whom I had been sharing classes with for many years, was my first kiss and girlfriend. We were together for about five months, I can’t quite remember why we broke up.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? After Cora Singer came Loreley Abson. We were only together for a few weeks in the last year of high school and I think she slept with me because she didn’t want to go to college as a virgin. However, when I close my eyes and think of my first time, I’ll always think of Purple.

If you are a supernatural being (can include Gifted), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. I was born with my gift, and for many years I considered it a curse because my parents did. I was experimented on, some would call it torture, but I like to think I was treated. Not healed as my parents think, but treated. I now know how to suppress my abilities and deal with them. The first time I called it my gift, though, was when Purple showed me the beauty of it.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? When the hospital burnt one night and Tanner saved us. And then, a few years later, when I met Purple. It’s maybe cheesy or stupid to say that, but our first kiss, to realise what love means, that was very important to me.

Who has had the most influence on you? I don’t know? Children are influenced by parents, no? I don’t consider myself particularly influenced. Then again, Purple changed my opinion on many things, like my gift. No, really, I can’t answer this question.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Finding Tanner.

What is your greatest regret? That I am who I am. I think I caused a lot of pain for my family. I know I should not feel ashamed for it, but if I had the choice to give it all away, I might.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I’ve done a lot of unspeakable things. Unspeakable in the sense that saying them out loud could get me in trouble with the law. But at the end of the day I never hurt anybody. I did what I had to do to survive, but never at a cost of someone’s well-being.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Not officially, no.

When was the time you were the most frightened? Every night at the Biel hospital. 

What is the most embarrassing thing to ever to happen to you? Oh. That. I once went to school on a Saturday by accident. But I guess that’s not very ... 

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? Maybe I’d teach myself how to control my gift sooner. Maybe I’d make myself never fall in love with Purple. Maybe I’d never leave him.

What is your best memory? Last month, meeting Tanner again. I have other beautiful memories, but this? It shines bright against everything else.

What is your worst memory? There have been many ugly memories, but just like with the good ones, it’s what happened the most recent that hurts the most. Destroying Purple’s trailer in our fight. I. I am still disgusted by having done that.

PART 4: BELIEFS AND OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic.

What is your greatest fear? Losing Tanner again.

What are your religious views? My father is an Atheist, my mother Jewish, I’d like to say I believe in nothing, but ever since the portals have been opened? What is real and what isn’t anymore?

What are your political views? I believe the well-being of the individual is more important than money.

What are your views on sex? It is just natural. Neither avoiding it nor making everything about it seems sensical to me but then again, I can’t really have it. Not with someone else, at least.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? I asked myself this question many times and I think, yes. I would be. To protect those who love, I would go very very far.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Take someone’s life. But my answer stands.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I wish I could say no, but then, sometimes I meet people and I just know that I will see them again, that they will matter to me one day, and how else would you explain that?

What do you believe makes a successful life? Who cares about success.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? To myself I have no choice but to be honest. If I were to ignore how I feel, poppies and violets would bloom to remind me. But to others? I don’t know. I’ve learned how to suppress all feelings, and in a way I’d rather never share them with others. Even if that means to lie to those I love.

Do you have any biases or prejudices? The more time passes and the more Royce Industries goes against the gifted, the more I find myself despising the non-gifted. Other than that, no, I don’t think I am very biased. I go with what is logical, and sometimes the most beautiful thing to believe.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? No. 

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? All those who have saved me, deserved to be saved in return. My parents. Tanner. Purple. 

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

How close are you to your family?

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

Do you care what others think of you?

PART 6: LIKES AND DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? I like taking long walks and baths.

What is your most treasured possession? None of the few tings I own are treasured.

What is your favorite color? Yellow.

What is your favorite food? Bread is good.

What, if anything, do you like to read? I don’t enjoy reading.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? To talk with someone you like until late at night. When I still had a car, I used to listen to music, whatever was on the radio. But I’d never consider it good entertainment. Necessary, if anything. The same goes for all other form of art.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I smoke cigarettes, but I can’t drink or do drugs. They make me lose control on my gift, and that is the last thing I can have.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? I didn’t have a typical Saturday night in many many years. At the moment I cook if ever someone is hungry, back in high school I used to hang out with my friends by the football stadium. 

What makes you laugh? A lot of things, actually. I like me a good joke. I have a simple humour, I think, Charlie Chapman and Laurel and Hardy will always get a chuckle out of me.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Violence of all sort. Even just yelling or threats. It makes me very uneasy.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? This happens a lot. Usually I go take a walk or drink tea. I like just pondering about things.

How do you deal with stress? I’m hardly ever stressed, it’s not really something that happens in my life style, but the answer would be the same as the previous one.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? This is a strange question because my whole life through I had a plan. At first I needed to find someone to cure me. Then I needed to find Tanner. Within those two plans I act spontaneously and never ever planned, but can you still call that spontaneous? If you do everything as it comes up as long as it lets you stay on your path?

What are your pet peeves? People who can’t listen. People who judge others blindly. People who only care about themselves. 

PART 7: SELF IMAGES AND ETC.

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? At the moment, I get up with the sun, get myself cleaned and dressed, then make breakfast for whoever wants. Then I go to work. Take breaks. Come home and cook again. Sometiems I go back to work for a later shift. But usually, if I can, I go to sleep with the sun, too. I cannot stand the night. Back when I still used to travel around it was about the same thing. 

What is your greatest strength as a person? I guess you could call me loyal.

What is your greatest weakness? The same, I fear. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Please don’t make me say it...

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Introverted. People exhaust me.

Are you generally organized or messy? I don’t care about being orderly or planned out within my own space, but as soon as it affects others I can be very organized and clean.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Reading people (and thus making them trust me, waiting, getting jobs, etc), cooking tea, and waiting. The waiting-waiting. Sitting and taking a breath. Letting time pass with patience. I’m good at that. What I’m bad at is expressing myself, not getting hurt by small things, and trusting people.

Do you like yourself? I serve my own purpose.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? I once wanted to find someone, now I don’t know anymore. I have lost all ambition.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Please. Don’t ask me about the future.

If you could choose, how would you want to die? Painless, fast, with my body looking preserved enough for my parents to identify me and being able to say their goodbyes.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. I’d do just what I’m doing now. Maybe say the things I could never speak.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? I don’t wish to be remembered.

What three words best describe your personality? Quiet, loyal, healthy.

What three words would others probably use to describe you? Quiet, odd, good. Or at least I wish they did.

[pinkfan-gurl]

Starry Night

chapter six of an 1oo high school au

Monty tried to keep calm as he sat in the backseat.

Never in a million years would he have thought that he'd be riding in the backseat of Bellamy Blake's car. And it wasn't that Monty was afraid of Bellamy, because he wasn't.

Bellamy wasn't exactly popular in the traditional sense that typical movies like Mean Girls try to portray. Everyone knew that he was working three jobs and taking advanced classes in attempts to get into a recognizable college. Everyone knew that his main goal at this point was to get a degree in social science.

The hard work and dedication that Bellamy had been putting into his work since starting high school was notable and everyone respected him for it or held him in at least some high esteem. Almost everyone. Clarke was too oblivious by their rivalry to view him any differently from the boy who dumped a pail of sand in her lap in kindergarten.

The car ride wasn't long at all—maybe ten minutes at the most. Jasper and Monty stayed quiet while Octavia filled the silence with a recap of her day while Bellamy listened. "Thanks for the ride, Bellamy," Octavia said as she pushed the front-seat forward enough for the two boys in the back to scramble out.

Bellamy eyed Jasper warily before glancing back to Octavia. "What time do you need a pick-up, O?"

Monty noticed Bellamy regard Jasper suspiciously again and Monty wondered if it was because he was Clarke's brother or if Bellamy knew of Jasper's crush on Octavia. "Few hours," Octavia said and let the seat spring back into place. "I'll call you."

"Are they going to need a ride too?" Monty had expected Bellamy's tone to be hostile but it was surprisingly calm.

Octavia glanced over at Jasper who shook his head. "No, uh," he hesitated, looking nervous, "Clarke's supposed to come get us."

Bellamy scoffed slightly, shaking his head. He muttered something under his breath—"the princess" Monty heard—then he nodded. "Okay, I'll be back around ten to get you, O."

Octavia scrunched up her nose, clearly disappointed. "Why so early? I said I'd call you."

"Mom doesn't want you out later than that. Plus, I'm going over to Miller's and I don't need to be worrying about the trouble you're getting into while I'm over there."

"Fine. But don't show up even a minute before ten."

"Someone's being bossy. Makes me wonder what you're up to." He tilted his nose down and Octavia blushed slightly.

Monty turned away politely, pretending to take an interest in an ant crawling between the cracks of the sidewalk while Octavia hastily hissed at her brother. When Monty looked up, Bellamy was pulling out of the parking lot and Octavia's face was returning to it's normal color.

"Everything good?" Jasper asked upon her return to them.

Octavia nodded, rubbing circles into her arms. "Just Bellamy being a dick, per the usual. Come on, I can see Sterling's car parked near the front."

…

After having gotten his M&M blizzard, Jasper followed Octavia to a table where a few of the other soccer kids decided to settle.

The entire place was full of people that Jasper recognized from the team and most of them had other friends along with them. The noise decibel was through the roof, reminding Jasper of when he was forced to eat in college cafeterias on field trips. He found not being able to hear the person sitting across from him rather annoying.

Octavia slid into a booth with Harper, Fox, and Sterling which Jasper found appropriate. Other than being on the soccer team, he knew that the three of them also resided on student-council because on more than one occasion they had been over to help Clarke out with something or other.

When Harper smiled at them, Jasper made sure to nudge Monty in the side roughly and he almost tripped head first into the table except he was able to right himself at the last moment. "Hi," Monty tried to cover it up but his face was still slightly flushed and his voice was weak.

Jasper had to keep from laughing, but then Octavia grabbed him by the cuff of his hoodie and pulled him over so that their shoulders brushed as they sat. He took it that his face said it all because suddenly Monty was the one refraining his giggles.

"You guys did great today," Harper gushed excitedly to Sterling and Octavia.

Octavia shrugged nonchalantly. "Not a big deal. Right place at the right time."

"Yeah," Sterling agreed, crossing his arms on the table. "It was kind of a fluke. It only went in the net because the goalie tripped over his own feet."

"Who cares?" Jasper's stomach twisted as everyone's eyes turned to him. God, he was so awkward. "I mean, we won right? Flukes still count."

Everyone stayed quiet for a second, but then Fox said "Jasper's right" and the growing pit in his stomach stopped deepening.

"We beat Mecha Prep and that's what matters." She planted a kiss on Sterling's cheek.

Quickly licking the ice cream off of his spoon, Japser stuck it back into the lump of ice cream and then held the cup up over the table. "To winning!"

He felt stupid for a second, but then Monty's cotton candy and Octavia's double-chocolate chip cookie dough blizzards joined his in the middle followed by everyone else's. "To winning!" they cheered, breaking out into giggles.

As more people filtered in, the louder the room got. Some of the kids who happened to be present were trembling behind their parents, terrified of the older kids hanging around like they owned the place.

Octavia must have read his mind because she called over the noise, "You guys wanna go to the elementary school play yard?"

"Sounds good!" Harper shouted back.

Jasper slid out of the booth, falling into step with Monty as Harper and Octavia led the way through the restaurant and to the door. The elementary school was just down the sidewalk from the Dairy Queen, making it an ideal spot for them to unwind.

"Are you going to talk to her?" Jasper nudged Monty. Harper and Octavia were talking in depthly with their hands.

Monty scowled. "No way."

"Why not?"

"Unlike you, I don't have an entire battle plan drawn up on how to get a girl to like me."

"I can get my box of crayons and colored construction paper and have one drawn up for you in like, thirty minutes."

Monty rolled his eyes. "No thank you."

"Okay," Jasper shrugged as they stepped onto the school yard field. "But I'm always here to help you with your girl problems, buddy."

They took their time crossing the field opposed to the mad bolt to the merry-go-round that Octavia had opted for. Harper called out to her to slow it down, but then she took off to intercept Octavia at break-neck speeds.

"Come on," Jasper laughed, pulling Monty along once they made it within a reasonable jogging distance.

Octavia's hair whipped around as she held onto the metal bars, leaning her torso off the edge as far as she dared. Even in her dirty, yellow uniform and clashing flip-flops she looked so beautiful.

Jasper was so busy staring at her, he hadn't even registered that Monty had already climbed onto the merry-go-round or that he was just awkwardly watching them spin with a dopey smile on his face.

"Jasper!" Monty cupped his hands around his mouth. "Make it go faster!"

"Yeah!" Harper whooped and Octavia's grin just widened, but it was enough to motivate Jasper into running what felt like a mile around in a circle to help it gain speed before jumping on himself.

"Oh my God," he panted, falling flat on his back in the middle of the rotating disk. "This thing is so heavy, especially with you giants on here."

"I'm a giant?" Monty snorted, obviously trying to be heard. Harper chuckled.

Twisting her leg around the bars, Octavia stood up and stretched her arms out. From his spot on the ground, Jasper couldn't see anything but the blue sky and clouds revolving around her as she stood freely against the wind. From the gentle smile on her face to the deep inhalations to the way her hair barely touched her face as they moved, Jasper could tell she was in a bliss.

And right now, while she was sweaty and covered in dirt, he couldn't think of a moment where she looked more beautiful.

…

Darkness came too early in Octavia's opinion.

The covers of darkness first started taking it's dim hold on the sky around nine and only continued to darken since then. Now at a quarter to ten, she knew that she was going to have to leave soon, even though the darkness called for to stay.

After the merry-go-round, Octavia and the others alternated between the different pieces of playground equipment, acting like they were kids again. At one point, they busted out Jasper's soccer ball and used it as a basketball on the blacktop. When Harper left about a half-hour after dark, the rest of them decided to settle down and enjoy each other's company.

Originally they had been sitting on the top of the monkey bars, but that soon grew to be uncomfortable so Monty suggested they chill out on the grass.

"Do you guys ever wonder what's out there?" Monty murmured suddenly.

Octavia turned to her right where Monty was lying. "What do you mean?" Jasper asked from her other side.

Monty sighed, keeping his eyes trained on the stars. "Do you think there's other life other than our planet? Or if there's something out there that could support human life?"

Octavia rolled on her side, waiting expectantly for Jasper's rebuttal. "Maybe," he said finally. She noticed how he kept his gaze on the sky intently as well.

"What about you, Octavia?" Monty's voice came from behind her.

Octavia returned to her initial position on her back. "I'm not really big into the whole science aspect behind the galaxy. I'm more into the history behind it."

Jasper pursed his lips. "Isn't history and science the same thing?"

Octavia laughed wistfully. "Not the history I'm thinking of."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't done this in awhile," she started. "Watch the stars, I mean. I used to do it all the time with my brother when I was a bit younger. He's really into mythology and stuff so he would tell me the stories behind the constellations."

Octavia pointed up at what she distinctly knew as Orion but could be easily seen as a clump of stars. "That's the Hunter, Orion. He fell in love with the goddess Artemis, but she swore herself to eternal maidenhood. Apollo, Artemis's brother, was so furious that he shot and killed Orion on the day he was supposed to marry Artemis."

She pointed out another group of stars that could've easily been overlooked by the untrained eye. "And that's the constellation of Andromeda. She was a princess of Ethiopia who was doomed to being mauled by a sea monster after her parents pissed off Poseidon. But the demigod Perseus saved her on the condition that her parents let him marry her, which they agreed to but kind of forgot when it was all said and done. But Andromeda upheld her parents end of the bargain and married Perseus, so the goddess Athena put her in the stars as a reward."

"Wow," Jasper breathed. "That's really cool that you know those stories."

Octavia grinned, rubbing her palms against the grass. "I don't know nearly as many stories as Bellamy does. He's like a walking encyclopedia for Greek myths. He could probably recite an ancient story for how every star that's visible from earth came to be."

"He must be great at parties."

Octavia laughed out loud. "Yeah. One day, I want to be a legend in the stars. I want people to recount the epics of Octavia Blake every time they see a certain constellation."

"That's a lot cooler than asking about aliens," Monty conceded.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking in the cool atmosphere. It was the first time in a long while that Octavia genuinely felt at peace.

"Hey, look." Jasper nodded toward at red light that flashed in intervals as it crossed the inky blue sky. "Satellite."

Octavia shivered. "How could people ever voluntarily live in space?"

"I think it could be cool," Monty said. "Not forever, but it'd be cool to see the planet from a different angle."

"Not to me." She shifted her legs so that they were pulled up to her chest. "It sounds claustrophobic and restricting. No fresh air. No soccer. No pizza. Oh my God, no pizza." She faked a groan. "But especially no fresh air. I'd lose it in space. I need the freedom of the ground, ya know?"

"I understand that." Jasper smiled, tearing his eyes away from the sky.

For a minute, Octavia was tempted to lean over and kiss him. It didn't have to be big or extravagant; a quick kiss under the stars sounded perfect. She was already starting to lean in when her phone buzzed where it sat on her stomach, surprising everyone.

Jasper fell back in the grass, and if it weren't for the cover of darkness he probably would have been visibly red in the cheeks.

"Hello?" she answered as harshly as she could into the phone.

"I'm in the parking lot outside of the Dairy Queen but it's closed. Where the hell are you?" Bellamy's voice came from the other end and Octavia didn't even stop her eyeroll.

"We're just down a block. At the elementary school."

"You're not alone are you?"

"Jasper and Monty are here with me."

"Still?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't they be?"

"I just assumed Clarke would—you know what? That's not important. Come to the sidewalk; I'm gonna pull over and get you."

"See you in a minute." She hung up the phone. "That was Bellamy."

"We figured," Monty said. Jasper shot him a look, but Octavia figured that Monty couldn't even tell with how thick the dark was. "You want us to walk with you? It'd be safer."

Out of the corner of her eye, Octavia saw the headlights of a car pulling over to the side of the road. "No, that's okay. I see him now. Thanks for the offer though."

She stood up and Jasper quickly scrambled to his feet. His hair covered his eyes. "Well thanks for inviting us. I sure had fun."

"I did too," Octavia smiled. "I'm glad you guys could hang out for a little bit." She cupped Jasper's face and placed a kiss on his cheek. "See you guys on Monday!"

She snatched up her hoodie from the ground, then jogged to where Bellamy was waiting. "Hey, big brother," she greeted whilst climbing into the car.

Bellamy put the car into gear and pulled back out onto the road. "So how was it?"

"Told some Greek myths." She felt satisfied when his face perked into a smile. "I'm the life of the party."

"Well that's good, I guess. I don't know how I feel about you being the life of a party."

"Nothing bad happened. We were just eating ice cream and playing on the playground."

"It's not you I don't trust."

A slight rush of anger filled Octavia's stomach. "Jasper and Monty are good guys."

Bellamy's fists tightened on the steering wheel and his body tensed against his seat belt. "I don't know them, O, so I can't know that for sure."

"If you trust me, then why can't you trust that I'm making a good decision?"

"Because I know how some guys can be, O. I've hung out with people like that before and I don't like the idea of my little—"

"—please stop." Octavia slammed her fist against her lap. "I know you're just trying to protect me, but I can take care of myself."

Bellamy's tone remained calm even though his body was more tense than she had ever seen before. "You're still just a kid, Octavia."

"I'm only a year and a half younger, alright, Bellamy? I'm not some helpless little fifth grader who doesn't have friends on the playground anymore. I can take care of my damned self."

This time, Bellamy growled and his eyes flashed. "I can't demand that you respect me, but at least you could pretend you do."

Octavia gritted her teeth. "Fine, then. How was your student council meeting on Monday?"

She was still seething, and everything about her tone was sarcastic. At this point, she couldn't care less.

"It was fine, thanks for asking." Bellamy was just as pissed as she was. She could tell not only by the body language, but also by the fact that he almost bypassed the street that led into their subdivision. "I'm stuck being co-president with Clarke."

"Good," Octavia snarled. "Maybe she can teach you some manners."

"I'm pretty sure that she and Wells have enough etiquette for everyone," he snapped back. He pulled the car to a stop in their driveway and ripped the keys from the ignition.

"News flash, dipshit," Octavia climbed out of the car, "Clarke and Wells broke up." She watched as Bellamy's jaw slacked, then dropped.

She didn't wait for him to respond before slamming the car door in his face and then locking herself in her bedroom.

chapter 7

[fixthedisconnect]

The Beginning

tl;dr

Trying to improve myself

In haiku form, son!

This is me. Lying on a couch. Down and out. Well maybe not out but definitely not in and very much down. If life were a game, I’m currently AFK. Discouraged. Disheartened. An argument could be made for “broken”. Certainly more than Hercules level of despair 

It's difficult to describe. I'm unsure if my problems qualify as legitimate (as opposed to un-legit) Unsure if I'm just perceiving them to be bigger or worse than they actually are? I really don't want to complain. We all know that person who is… “A little ray of sunshine” shall we say. Nothing is EVER good enough. They hate puppies and rainbows. They could be be unhappy at Disneyland. No one likes being around those people. They’re probably also communists.

*Side note, was there a scientific study published in a reputable peer reviewed journal with statistically significant data showing a clear correlation that led the researchers to fail to reject the null hypothesis, or whatever, and ultimately declare Mouse land “The Happiest Place on Earth”?... If not, Disney is MIGHTY sure of themselves. The HAPPIEST? Of ALL other places? I mean, have they even heard of the Great British Baking Show? Do you even bake, bruh? Don't get me wrong, Disneyland is up there but if I had to pick between the two, I'm more than fairly sure I'd have to go with the tasting tent in the middle of an English countryside, eating Puff pastries listening to Paul's thick liverpudlian accent. Okay less his accent, it's more of an excuse to say liverpudlian. Try it. It's fun. I think that gives the Peter pan ride a run for its money at least.

But I digress, back to me ;)

I was saying I don’t wish to be the aforementioned type of person so I try not to complain (some of y’all who know me personally are stifling scoffs I’m sure) and I realize there are many, MANY people who have it MUCH worse than me. I am also BEYOND grateful for the good things I do have in my life. 

BUT!

… at the same time, the stuff I’m dealing with really does seem like a bit to me.

I have an injured tailbone that’s been a source of constant pain for about 3 years now. I used to be able to sit in a certain position or on a specific chair without it hurting but now it’s pretty much 24/7. Yet x-rays, MRIs, trigger point and nerve blocking injections and several different meds have not helped at all.

I’m in my 30s now which apparently means your ribs pop out of place while you sleep. I get them cracked back into place at the Chiropractor and they're out again the next morning. Basically it hurts to breathe and I can feel my back muscles scraping over my ribs.

My house is ALSO falling apart and I can’t afford to fix it. My backyard is a dirt pile and I feel SUPER awesome that my kids don’t have grass to run around in. Our plumbing, electrical, and roof all need to be replaced because the house was built before electricity was a thing. Well... 1950. Which is basically the same. And every time I look around at everything that’s broken I feel worse because I’m reminded that I don’t have the means to fix it. Why don’t I have the the funds? Welp...

I’ve been laid off 3 times in the last 4 years and since graduating college 6 years ago have yet to be at one job longer than a year. I pretty much live in fear that every day I go into work will be my last and live in constant stress of how I’m going to provide for my family. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had a marketable skill but I majored in German Literature (long story for another day) and sadly not too many people are looking to hire me to read books to them in German and write sub-par research papers about the motivations of the protagonists...

Why don’t you just learn a new skill, you might ask? That’s a great question. I’ll tell you. In SONG form

No? Monty Python? Anyone? Bueller? NM...

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for about 2 years (which remarkably coincides with how old our youngest child is) and am effectively a zombie now living off cold pizza & diet mtn dew. That’s what zombies eat, right? Low energy, difficult to focus, seconds away from weeping most days. Which means I have had a beast of a time trying to find the time, motivation and energy to learn to code or be a graphic/ web designer or whatever skill will guarantee that I don’t have a heart attack every time someone says, “Hey, you got a sec?”

So, as a zombie dad, most days I wake up late, trying to get every last second of “sleep” that I can, roll out of bed, shove some “food” in my face and rush off to work (usually without showering, shaving, brushing teeth or any thing resembling self care or hygiene). Gross, I know. And believe me, I’m not boasting here. I live in a state of constant embarrassment of myself. But may I remind you... zombie.

Then I sit in pain for 8 hrs at a job I don’t care for (but am beyond grateful for) and am afraid to lose, hop in my almost broken vehicle & head home to eat a delicious meal made by my beautiful, loving wife. Try not to take the disappointment in my children’s eyes to heart when I tell them I can’t play with them because I’m too tired and in too much pain. Get them down to bed and instead of using the remaining hour or so to do something productive, I fall asleep while watching Parks & Rec through for the 100th time because it’s funny and I need as much levity and release as I can get. Then I’m on the night shift (usually up 2 or 3 times a night getting bottles, changing diapers, rocking back to sleep, etc) and doing it again the next day. Worn out. Run Down. Scraping by, dragging my broken down body through the motions of a “life.”

I feel like this:

Not like a cool zombie

Geez... He makes it look so EASY and fun...

Now, you’re not gonna believe me, but I SWEAR I’m not complaining. Seriously. Just explaining where I’m at these days. Setting the stage, painting the backdrop, giving you some context. I REALLY do try not to complain because as I said, I know it could be way worse and I really am grateful for the good things I DO have and if this is the price for those things and people, I’ll do it again and again. 

But do you see what I mean? Some might say, you don’t shower every day? You don’t brush your teeth regularly? But in my mind and body, I’m just too tired and don’t have time. Last year I broke two back molars in half chewing on gum. Yup, gum. And I lived with that for 6 months because I couldn’t get them fixed because I didn’t have insurance because I didn’t have a job. Seems like a legitimate reason versus a lame excuse.

But I know other people who are going to school full time, while working 2 jobs who seldom see their family let alone get time to play with them. Making do with less and seemingly more put-together than I am. So am I just making excuses then? I mean, have you SEEN this kid?!

Now, I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others. I know everyone’s got their own challenges and I should only compare myself to the best version of myself. But that’s just the thing. I AM comparing myself to myself. And I’m not even CLOSE. 

It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with life. It’s not that I just want more money (though that couldn’t hurt) or a bigger house or power or fame. I really only want enough to care for my family and some extra to help others out. It’s more of a discontent with who I am as a person. I’m not as nice as I’d like to be. I’m not as skilled as I’d like to be. I’m not as humble as I’d like to be. The list goes on... Literally. I have a list. A back log of ideas I want to try, things I want to learn, skills I want to have and put to use, people I want to help.

Basically, I have bad health, bad financial situation, no career, super awesome self esteem, fragile mental health, and not much of a social life.

Sooooo... So so SO!

I’m changing. This WAS me. 

I’m on a journey to finally achieve everything I’ve been putting off and become the best version of me. And I hope you’ll join me on the trip because I hope to learn from all this and I hope that someone somewhere can learn something as well. Even if that’s what NOT to do (Hey man, if it helps SOMEbody, I consider it a success and worth any effort).

So, follow along. I’ll share what I can along the way. And make sure to let me know how I can help you achieve YOUR goals too! Until later!

[melika-elena]

First of all congrats congrats ily! You deserve ALL the followers Mel! (And all the Minty!) Fic prompt: my friend can’t stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they’re hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there’s a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package (surprise! they're the same person) AU

ILY ILY!!!! Here’s your fic :) 

“His name’s Monty.”

Miller waited.

And waited.

He gave in. “Uh, okay.” He raised an eyebrow. “And?”

Clarke raised an eyebrow in return. “And what? His name’s Monty. Here’s his number.”

It had been a nice day today– his coworkers weren’t being too big of dicks; it was finally dark past six o’clock; and his beer was good, so instead of falling back on his usual surliness, Miller veered into amusement instead. “You know,” he said, “I had been expecting a more effusive recommendation for this guy than this.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well, I’ve tried that with you before with other guys and you always found some stupid thing about them to talk yourself out of texting them,” she said. “So I’m done doing the hard work for you. Talk to them yourself and figure out why you don’t want to text them.”

“Well, that’s no fun,” Miller complained. “Not to mention complicated.”

Clarke leveled him with a stare that reminded him eerily of Raven. “If you don’t text Monty, you’re missing out,” she said bluntly. “All you need to know is that he’s great and I wouldn’t steer you wrong, okay?”

Miller opened his mouth to respond with something snarky, but then shut it. Well, that was true. Clarke could be an overbearing bitch sometimes, but her heart was in the right place, and even if her own dating life was a complete disaster, she could pretty clearly see other people’s.

“Fine,” he grunted. “Give me his number.”

From Nate (8:10PM)

Hey

This is Nate

Clarke’s friend

She gave me your number?

From Monty (8:12PM)

Hey!

Yeah, she told me she was going to

Um

How are you?

From Nate (8:14PM)

Good

Awkward

From Monty (8:15PM)

Ha!

Same

It could be worse, I guess

This could be in PERSON

From Nate (8:16PM)

I’ll be fully honest– when you said that

I cringed

From Monty (8:24PM)

An introvert’s worst nightmare

I get it

This is meeting my social interaction

quota for the evening

So I don’t feel too guilty for sitting in my PJs

And watching Bob’s Burgers on Netflix

From Nate (8:25PM)

Ideal Friday night situation, imo

I love Bob’s Burgers

Did you hear they’re taking that off Netflix?

From Monty (8:26PM)

WHAT? NO!!!!!

What the flying fuck

From Nate (8:27PM)

It’s a fucking tragedy

They’re pulling a bunch of shows

Focusing on original content, I think

Which– if it’s like Sense8, fine

If it’s like Iron Fist, they can go fuck themselves

From Monty (8:28PM)

I have so many opinions

About both those shows

I don’t even know where to start

From Nate (8:29PM)

Lucky for you

I’m also doing nothing

We have all the time in the world

“Package for… Nathan Miller?”

“Miller!” Murphy called, bored, not looking up. “Package for you.”

Miller scowled as he came to the front desk. “You can sign it for me,” he said pointedly to Murphy. “It’s part of your job?”

Murphy ignored him.

“Any interest in switching careers?” Miller muttered to the messenger as he signed for the package, giving the messenger a flicker of an apologetic smile. His smile froze for a second as he handed back the slip and pen.

The guy was cute, there was no denying that, dark, shaggy hair, bright smile, and in his bike attire, it was evident that this guy had insane thighs, holy shit. The nametag on his shirt read Jasper. “Heh, my mother would be thrilled,” he said, “three career moves in a year. But I think I’ll stick with this for now.”

Miller snorted, despite his curiosity at the other man’s statement. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

Jasper laughed. “I will,” he said. “Have a good day!” He said, turning around.

Miller couldn’t help himself– he definitely checked out if those bike shorts made his ass look as good as his thighs (they did.) “Yeah,” he said. “You, too.”

From Monty (10:34PM)

Hear me out here–

ANH

ESB

ROJ

TFA

RO

ROS

AOC

PM

From Miller (10:36PM)

That’s MOSTLY right

But why are you kidding yourself

Empire Strikes Back > A New Hope

From Monty (10:38PM)

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

Nate!!

How can you go wrong with the one that

STARTED EVERYTHING

I mean, come on

From Miller (10:40PM)

Everything about ESB is better

It gets to the heart and soul of the story

ANH is a lot of set-up

From Monty (10:42PM)

We need to watch the movies and see

From Miller (10:43PM)

Haven’t you seen the movies like, 27 times,

According to you?

From Monty (10:45PM)

Well, YEAH

But not with YOU

Miller and Monty had been texting for weeks now, mostly platonically. Sometimes it veered into flirting, and Miller was totally on board, but the idea of meeting face-to-face, even if he knew he liked Monty as a person? It freaked him out.

Not to mention… he might’ve also been engaging in a little real-life flirting, too, with someone who wasn’t Monty.

Jasper the Bike Messenger came by at least twice a week with packages, and just maybe Miller timed it so that he was always on his way out for a coffee break when Jasper came by, just so they could chat and then walk out together. Maybe it was a little obvious (especially judging by Murphy’s judgmental, snarky comments,) but Miller couldn’t bring himself to care. Jasper was just so cute, with his great smile and shiny black hair, and the way he used his hands to talk, (and those fucking shorts). Miller was working up the courage to ask him for his number, or to join him on a coffee break, or something, but the idea of Monty kept holding him back.

He and Monty weren’t exclusive; hell, they’re dancing around the idea of just meeting up in person. But Miller’d never been someone who talks to multiple people at once, weighing his options; that’s fine for some people, as long as everyone’s on board, but he didn’t work that way. He just couldn’t. And he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Hey,” said Jasper, smile lighting up his face as he came in. “No Murphy today?”

“Out sick,” Miller said. “Thank god. The temp agency might be sending us someone new next week,” he raised his eyebrows meaningfully. “Unless you want to step in?”

Jasper laughed. “Nah, I’m good,” he said. “But maybe if the next temp doesn’t work out.”

Miller’s lips quirked. “You like it?” He asked. “Being a messenger?”

Jasper shrugged. “Keeps me in good shape,” he said, and it was all Miller could do to bite back a, fuck, yeah, it does comment. “And, well, to be honest I had a fast-paced office job for a few years before this– it burnt me out, putting it mildly. I quit and wanted something completely different, and this is it. I don’t know how long I’ll continue to do it, but it’s good until I figure out what I really want. Bike rides help with thinking about that, too.” He grinned. “And my best friend works there, too, which is fun.”

“That does help,” Miller said, wondering if this was the moment where he should ask Jasper to coffee, but he was already getting back on his bike, and the moment passed.

Fuck. Miller rubbed his hand over his face as Jasper pedaled away with a wave. He really needed to get his life into order.

From Monty (4:28PM)

Nate

Is it the weekend yet?

I’m DYING

From Miller (4:32PM)

Only a half-hour left

Any weekend plans?

From Monty (4:37PM)

Not much

My best friend Jasper and I

Are going to be hanging out

Might go see the new Power Rangers

You?

Miller nearly spat out his lukewarm coffee. How many fucking Jaspers were there in the world, anyway? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. He was in some fucking trouble. It would just be his life where he had a crush on two best friends.

From Miller (4:48 PM)

Sounds fun

Is Jasper the same friend who you said used to

Make you dress up as the red and blue rangers

Every year for Halloween for like, ten years?

From Monty (4:50PM)

Yes, that’s him! Good memory

Yeah, he’s been my best friend for ages

Feel like I haven’t talked about him a lot

Even though we work together and stuff

He’s been really busy with his new girlfriend

So I haven’t seen him lately.

Best friends who work together. Jasper said it himself, too, so it Even though the thought that Jasper was unavailable should’ve made Miller’s life easier, it kind of punched him in the gut, anyway. He liked Jasper, and now he just felt guilt at the idea that the choice had been made for him because he liked Monty, too, and didn’t want to think of him as a back-up.

At least he knew enough now not to flirt with Jasper anymore, and he could just focus on Monty and continue on as they were. Yeah. Good plan.

From Miller (5:02PM)

It’s finally the weekend

Besides seeing the Power Rangers

Would you be interested in grabbing a drink?

From Monty (5:05PM)

Yeah

I would like that

Miller saw him basically the moment he came in and it took every ounce of courage in him not to turn around and hightail it out of there. What were the odds that Jasper would be here as well? Did Monty tell him? Oh, god, maybe Monty bailed and sent Jasper in his place.

Now he was actually considering leaving, but Jasper already spotted him, and he looked as confused as Miller felt, even as his face lit up in a smile.

“Miller, hey!” Jasper said, bounding up to him. “What a coincidence.”

“Hey,” Miller said, hoping he didn’t look as awkward as he felt. “It is. What, uh, what are you up to tonight?”

Jasper rubbed his hand at the back of his neck. “I’m, uh, meeting up with someone I’ve been talking to a few weeks now. Friend of a friend. I think it’s a date?”

Miller froze. “What?”

Jasper didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, he’s a friend of my friend Clarke. She said that we were totally each other’s types, and at first I didn’t quite believe her– if you knew her, you’d know that her love life is a total shit show, but she was actually right! I, uh, I really like him, and–” he cuts himself off with a laugh. “And you really don’t care about that. Sorry.”

“No,” Miller still didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but he needed to find out now. “No, I really do. I think you’re here for me. Maybe?”

Jasper frowned. “What?”

“I think so, anyway,” Miller shook his head. “I’m also here to meet someone who I’ve been texting for a while. Someone my friend Clarke set me up with.”

Jasper’s gaping. “But I’m here for someone named Nate.”

“And I’m here for someone named Monty.”

They both said at the same time, “That’s me.”

Jasper– Monty is laughing. “What did you think my name was?”

“The first day you came into my office, your name tag read Jasper,” Miller said. “So I thought–”

“Oh my god,” Monty said. “I remember that day! I had to wear Jasper’s shirt because I spilled coffee on mine.” He gave Miller a questioning look. “But I thought– your name–”

“Nathan Miller,” Miller said with a smile.

Monty laughed again. “This is ridiculous.”

Miller gave him a sheepish smile. “I felt so guilty,” he said, “I thought–”

“Me, too,” Monty said. “But, uh, now it’s kinda like all my dreams are coming true.”

“Yeah,” Miller swallowed. “Same.” He cocked his head to the side. “Drink?”

Monty leaned over and took Miller’s hand, threading his fingers with his. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

[ledlightbulbs34-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

sasha grey pocket pussy "Masturbation... is just not approved of the particular Lord not this chapel, regardless of what could be said by those whoever 'norms' are lower", Director Kimball of the Cathedral involving Jesus Christ associated with Latter-Day Heureux (1981) "Every sperm will be sacred. Just about every sperm is extremely good. If a new sperm is squandered, The almighty gets quite irate. " Monty Python's This is connected with Life. A price frequently used by various places of worship in an effort in order to contain illicit operates amongst its people. Each and every perorata on masturbation would likely quotation it, at least each of the sermons I have listened to. Beneath circumstances, is it difficult to envision masturbation as one of often the biggest taboos in all of our society? Even today? Methodical education has done any little to switch it. Can that mean women and men don't masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70% of females masturbate according to be able to various scientific studies. The problem lies in the acknowledgement of the fact that will you masturbate. Without a doubt the story... a story about you. One night you were sitting only inside your apartment eating french fries. You decided to check out a number of new internet sites on the net when you eat. So you journal on to your ISP and also start surfing. Inadvertently, you discover some piece of pornography(yes, the internet is quite entire of it! ) Seeking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley between your legs. One matter leads to an additional and you end up spoiling your current underpants. Now permit me tell you a different story. best pocket pussy One night you're sitting alone in some sort of club drinking beer. And also then a most stunning person penetrates the nightclub. The person that will cause tingling between your thighs just taking a look at him or perhaps her. You decide which you can't let go of this particular opportunity to get to help know this creation regarding god. Therefore you move toward this person and begin modest talk. One thing causes another and you finish up in your current house. Whether you are a new woman or a man, the next morning an individual wouldn't be jumping using delight in the first case. When you go available in the morning to meet your friends, an individual would definitely not tell these individuals about the hot internet site you found and precisely how a person jerked off to it. Nonetheless, in the particular second case, you'd be better with informing anyone who cared for to listen how you had essentially the most wonderful experience associated with your life yesterday evening. Precisely why? Well, maybe mainly because self pleasure is, nicely, practically nothing special. You can complete the idea anytime you wish. Of course seducing typically the person of your aspirations is pretty an accomplishment. Not any wonder you will need an audience. But what for those who have a new friend like me. An associate who is crazy plenty of might you did an individual wank off yesterday night time? Has been it good? Exactly what will you do then? Will you tell your friend with regards to the hot site in addition to your experience? Would an individual simply say, "Yeah! This was excellent! What concerning you? " Or will you pretend nothing possessed happened and lie... similar to you were somewhere in addition yesterday night, or might be lead your buddy to be able to believe you got happy using someone? I was guessing you would do the latter. Most certainly you'll not acknowledge the act associated with masturbation. Rather you would avert the question along with alter the topic. And when your buddy tells anyone about a hot conquest the same night, you actually would want a serving of water when you can drown. Shame as well as remorse would come over a person and you would transform the issue in double quick period. Are you crazy? Noway! You are only one of the bulk. And an amazing majority in that! Way more the vast majority that what George Rose bush had in the final elections! The main reason -social physical fitness! You are the same as the youngster who ran out from the movie theater hall that was screening process an adult film (mind anyone, he had simply no business to be there throughout the first place! However each of the cinemas care in relation to is the great deals of their tickets! ) Later in the day, typically the buddy who had recently been at the movies along with him, caught up having the dog and asked, "Why inside hell's name do a person run out? " The youngster answered, "My mom said that if I watched a woman acquiring naked I would change to stone. And damn you Harry, a portion of me was already evolving into stone! " Unluckily, the social conditioning is inappropriate. It is since wrong as the social problem in 18-19th one hundred year China, where widows have been forced to burn living along with their husbands. As completely wrong as the church ended up being in using up Galileo for implying mother nature was certainly not the centre in the whole world. Lily Tomlin put it greatest, "We have reasons to believe that man first strolled upright to free their hands for masturbation! very well If god didn't would like us to masturbate, perhaps we would still end up being walking just like dogs along with horses! Often the social physical fitness is a result involving numerous myths, lies along with cons perpetrated by a number of individuals for personal profit. Unfortunately, this specific conditioning is usually like a hard fanatic, very tough to fracture. However, with effort along with chanelising your energies, you may break it. Remember, the nuts that crack the toughest, are often the people that taste the best! You must be wondering, what sort of hell does it make a difference if you feel guilty about fleshlight. Have to spend time splitting this cased characters? Certain objective believe that shame conscious, whether sexual shame or in any other application form, is the most destructive element to your mental well being. Others believe it is one regarding the most destructive. Yet the very best effect regarding guilt conscious in my opinion offers been a lack involving confidence inside self. Right now you are an clever reader. I don't have to have to make clear you the particular importance of self self confidence. Whether it be your career, human relationships or any additional aspect of life, lack associated with self confidence can bring your personal downfall. Now I am not really implying that should you start to feel more comfy regarding masturbation, you will succeed in most elements of life. But that would be a nice step to help take. An useless guilt that should, and is eradicated from your mind. Bear in mind, an ocean is created of little droplets regarding water. Eliminate a decline at a time as due time, the underwater would be empty! Connected with course it would take many millennia! Luckily, you have a tendency have an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings here and there! The first stage towards eradication in this guilt is knowledge. You will find thousands of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by faith, unfortunately. But some perpetrated by means of hoax runners. Lets look into often the most important ones. 1. Fleshlight is against typically the will regarding god. Hokum. At one point the church considered anyone who all was overtly zealous in order to his wife a great adultrater. Follow that educating and also your wife would become carrying out adultery! Several clergymen have hot on record to help say in which not solely the church's teachings concerning sexuality were unconnected to the scriptures, but they will caused more harm when compared with good amongst people. Apart from, nowhere in the spiritual teachings of any main beliefs is masturbation deemed completely wrong. 2. Masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction. Most males and even some ladies seem to think consequently. Wrong again. Lets tackle the males first. Its understandable that seeing their sperm flow out associated with their body, they think the idea may end sometimes. Effectively, it will end eventually... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. But until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You have unlimited credit here! Orgasm is a completely replenishable useful resource, renewable on the hourly base! For girls, well, there is not any time frame in the idea. Probably perpetrated by previous ladies who also never got an ejaculation in all their entire life! three or more. Fleshlight causes acne, hair loss, skin diseases. This one is usually my favorite. Mainly because it is one of several better scams of all times! Your own social conditioning would certainly have you imagine that masturbation is bad for your health. But negative how? No person would supply you a satisfying response! Now some scam musicians saw this as a great fine opportunity to easily sell their products like hair growth lotions, etc. Given that most people start masturbating in their teens, (the times of acne and various other skin problems), they would get you believe that this kind of is attributable to masturbation! Unfortunately for them, this can be as untrue as the sunshine rising from the west! Masturbation has no physical side effects! several. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there is no need for diet regime pills and health and fitness regimes my friend! And many surely 70% of UNITED STATES more than likely be overweight! 5. Solely Kids masturbate! The reason why would you say that? We wonder! Very well quite false, most adults masturbate... yes even after marital life! a few. Masturbation is for guys. And it is regarding 70% of the women also. That's right, 2/3 regarding all females masturbate! several. Only losers masturbate! Another of my favorites. Merely goes to show just how much of any taboo is masturbation! Initial thing, 99% of males in addition to seventy percent of females have got masturbated at least once throughout their existence. Now which is a hell of your lot of losers avoid you assume! Nothing a lot more that I can add genuinely... this is really the particular quintessential insecurity amongst folks regarding self pleasure. 7. Masturbation is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did which one originate! Someone must make a etymology of those myths, would make regarding an useful read! Merely as untrue while all of these myths, masturbation along with homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to their fantasies of reverse sex, other individuals to their own fantasies of very same intercourse. That's it. in search of. Masturbation will make you sightless! Others claim that masturbation is usually bad for your own personal eyesight. Nevertheless , their says are unsupported by specifics and healthcare advice. My spouse and i suggest you talk to help your general physician in addition to he will make clear you what a load associated with bull this is. 10. Fleshlight changes the condition of your shaft Effectively, it does make it steel solid. But believe myself, after you orgasm, the solidity is finished! So no. Fleshlight offers absolutely no result on how the penis appearance.

[renoquotes]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

male stroker "Masturbation... is not really approved of the particular Lord neither this religious organization, regardless of what might be said by those in whose 'norms' are lower", Chief executive Kimball of the Ceremony connected with Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Team (1981) "Every sperm is definitely sacred. Every single sperm is fantastic. If a new sperm is thrown away, Lord gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's The real meaning of Life. A price typically used by various churches in an effort to help contain illicit works between its people. Each rollo on masturbation might price it, at least every one of the sermons I have listened to. Within the circumstances, is that difficult to visualize masturbation as one of often the biggest taboos in each of our society? Even today? Research education has done any little to alter it. Really does that mean men and women have a tendency masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and seventy percent of ladies masturbate according to help various reports. The difficulty lies in the acknowledgement of the fact this you masturbate. Clearly any story... a story regarding you. 1 night a person were sitting only within your apartment eating lasagna. You decided to verify out a few new web sites on the net while you eat. So you record on to your internet connection and start surfing. Inadvertently, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Shopping at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley regarding the legs. One thing leads to yet another and also you end up ruining your own underpants. Now make me tell you yet another story. sasha grey masturbator One night you're sitting alone in some sort of tavern drinking beer. In addition to then a new most gorgeous person gets into the pub. The person that will cause tingley between your thighs just considering him as well as her. You decide this you can't forget about this kind of opportunity to get to help know this creation associated with god. And that means you move toward this person and start small talk. One thing brings about another and you stop up in your own condo. Whether you are a new woman or possibly a man, the particular next morning you probably would not be jumping using delight in the first event. When you go out there in the evening to meet your friends, a person would not necessarily tell these people about the hot web-site you found and exactly how you actually jerked off in order to it. However, in typically the second case, you would be informing anyone who cared for to help listen how you possessed by far the most wonderful experience connected with your life yesterday evening. Precisely why? Well, maybe since self applied pleasure is, well, nothing at all special. You can perform that anytime you need. Of course seducing typically the person of your ambitions is pretty an accomplishment. No wonder you will need an visitors. But what in case you have a new friend like me. A buddy who is crazy adequate individuals you did you actually wank off yesterday nights? Had been it good? Just what could you do then? Would likely you inform your friend concerning the hot internet site and also your experience? Would a person simply say, "Yeah! The idea was excellent! What about you? " Or maybe might you pretend nothing had happened and lie... similar to you were somewhere otherwise yesterday evening, or maybe lead your friend to believe you got happy using someone? I was guessing you might do the particular latter. Most certainly you will not acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you might evade the question in addition to affect the topic. And any time your good friend tells a person about a hot cure the same night, you actually would want a bowl of water when you could possibly drown. Shame and also sense of guilt would come over you actually and you would transform the topic in double quick period. Are you actually crazy? Noway! You will be simply one of the the greater part. And a good majority on that! Way more majority that what George Plant had in the very last elections! The reason -social health! You are identical to the young man who ran out from the movie theatre hall that was screening an adult film (mind you actually, he had not any business to be there in the first place! But all of the cinemas care in relation to is the selling associated with their tickets! ) Later on in the day, the particular pal who had been at the movies having him, caught up using him or her and asked, "Why within the hell's name did you run out? very well The young man answered, "My mom declared if I actually watched a woman receiving naked I would change to natural stone. And damn you Harry, a aspect of me was already turning into stone! " Unluckily, the social conditioning will be completely wrong. It is as wrong as being the social ailment in 18-19th century India, where widows have been obligated to burn well together with their husbands. As inappropriate as the church had been in losing Galileo intended for implying mother nature was certainly not the centre with the galaxy. Lily Tomlin input it greatest, "We have great think that man first stepped upright to free their hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't wish us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking like dogs as well as horses! The social conditioning is a result associated with numerous myths, lies and also hoaxes perpetrated by a number of individuals to get personal advantage. Unfortunately, that conditioning will be like a hard fanatic, very tough to bust. However, with effort along with chanelising your energies, you could break it. Remember, the particular nuts that crack the toughest, are often the people that taste the very best! A person must be wondering, the way the hell does it make a difference if you believe guilty about fleshlight. Why should you spend time breaking this housing? Certain when compared with believe that sense of guilt mindful, whether sexual sense of guilt or even in any other application form, is the most damaging element to your mental health and fitness. Others find that it is one associated with the most destructive. But the greatest effect regarding guilt conscious if you ask me offers been a lack involving confidence with self. Today you are an clever reader. I don't want to describe you often the importance of self assurance. Specific your career, relationships or any different part of life, lack regarding self confidence can bring your current downfall. Now I am certainly not implying that should you commence to feel more cozy about masturbation, you might succeed in almost all aspects of life. But that might be a nice step to be able to take. A great useless sense of guilt that should, and they are eradicated from your mind. Recall, an ocean is created of little droplets connected with water. Do away with a fall at a time since due time, the underwater would be empty! Connected with course it will take a number of millennia! The good news is, you don't have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings in some places! The first move towards eradication in this remorse is knowledge. You will find hundreds and hundreds of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by foi, unfortunately. Yet some perpetrated by rip-off runners. Lets have a look at the particular most important ones. just one. Masturbation is against the will associated with god. Hokum. At one point the church considered anyone who also was overtly passionate for you to his wife a adultrater. Follow that educating along with your wife would become assigning adultery! Several clergymen have become on record to help say in which not just the church's theories in relation to sexuality were not related for you to the scriptures, but that they caused more harm compared to good amongst people. Besides, nowhere in the strict instruction of any important beliefs is masturbation regarded completely wrong. 2. Masturbation will cause erectile dysfunction. Most guys and even many ladies seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. It is understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out connected with themselves, they think it may end sometimes. Effectively, it will end at some point... maybe when you usually are 100 years old. However until then don't fret. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Semen is a completely alternative resource, renewable on the hourly foundation! For women, well, there is absolutely no time frame in the theory. Probably perpetrated by aged ladies who have never acquired an climax in their entire life! a few. Fleshlight causes acne, hairloss, skin area diseases. This one is actually my favorite. Mainly simply because it is on the list of better scams of all instances! Your personal social conditioning would likely have you feel that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But bad how? No one would offer you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as the great opportunity to will sell their products similar to curly hair growth lotions, etc. Given that most people start masturbating throughout their teens, (the periods of pimple and other skin problems), they might possess you believe that this kind of is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, this is as untrue as the sun rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no real side effects! some. Masturbating will make you thin and skinny! Then there is no need for diet pills and fitness routines my friend! And many surely 70% of STATES didn't be overweight! your five. Merely Kids masturbate! The reason could you say that? My partner and i wonder! Very well quite wrong, most grown ups masturbate... yup even after marital life! some. Masturbation is for males. And it is for 70% from the women way too. That's right, two thirds connected with all females masturbate! 6. Only losers masturbate! One more of my favorites. Just goes to show just simply how much of any taboo is masturbation! Initial thing, 99% of males and 70% of females have masturbated at least once inside their lifestyles. Now this is a hell of an lot of losers no longer you assume! Nothing more that I can also add actually... this is really typically the supreme insecurity amongst men and women concerning self pleasure. main. Fleshlight is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did in which one originate! Somebody have to make a etymology these myths, would make with regard to an exciting read! Just as untrue seeing that most these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to help their dreams of opposing sex, other individuals to their own fantasies of identical sexual. That's it. being unfaithful. Fleshlight will make you blind! Others claim that fleshlight is bad for your eyesight. However , their states are unsupported by facts and healthcare advice. I actually suggest you talk in order to your common physician as well as he will explain you what a load involving bull this is. 12. Masturbation changes the shape of your manhood Well, it does make this rock hard. But believe me, after you orgasm, the hardness is gone! So no. Fleshlight offers absolutely no influence on how your penis appearance.

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Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

best masturbator "Masturbation... is not really approved of the particular Lord not this cathedral, regardless of what may be said by those whose 'norms' are lower", President Kimball of the Church regarding Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (1981) "Every sperm is actually sacred. Each and every sperm is extremely good. If some sort of sperm is wasted, The almighty gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's This is regarding Life. A offer generally used by various churches in an effort to help contain illicit works amongst its people. Every rollo on masturbation would price it, at least the many sermons I have been told. Under the circumstances, is that difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the biggest taboos in the society? Even today? Research education has done some sort of little to alter it. Really does that mean people avoid masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70% of girls masturbate according for you to various experiments. The problem lies in the approval of the fact this you masturbate. Let me tell you any story... a story about you. A single night a person were sitting solely in your apartment eating pizza. You decided to look at out several new sites on the net when you eat. So you record on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadvertently, you discover some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Hunting at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingling regarding the legs. One issue leads to a different and also you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you a different story. male masturbator One night you had been sitting alone in some sort of nightclub drinking beer. Along with then some sort of most wonderful person makes its way into the pub. The person that will cause tingley between your hip and legs just taking a look at him or maybe her. You decide in which you can't let go of this particular opportunity to get in order to know fantastic creation involving god. So you move in direction of this person and start small talk. One thing leads to another and you finish up in your current house. Whether you are some sort of woman or possibly a man, typically the next morning a person probably would not be jumping with delight in the first circumstance. When you go available in the evening for you to meet your friends, an individual would not really tell these about the hot web site you found and exactly how you actually jerked off for you to it. Even so, in typically the second case, it would be eaiest revealing anyone who cared for you to listen how you had one of the most wonderful experience connected with your life yesterday. The reason why? Well, maybe due to the fact self applied pleasure is, nicely, absolutely nothing special. You can perform the item anytime you need. Of course influencing the particular person of your aspirations is very an accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. But what if you have any friend like me. A buddy who is crazy sufficient might you did an individual wank off yesterday nighttime? Had been it good? Just what do you do then? Would likely you inform your friend with regards to the hot web site in addition to your experience? Would you just say, "Yeah! This was great! What regarding you? " Or even might you pretend nothing got happened and lie... something similar to you were somewhere else yesterday nighttime, or might be lead your good friend to be able to believe you got lucky together with someone? I was guessing you would probably do often the latter. Most certainly you won't acknowledge the act associated with masturbation. Rather you will evade the question as well as alter the topic. And while your buddy tells you about a hot cure the same night, an individual would want a dish of water in which you may drown. Shame and also guilt would come over you actually and you would adjust the theme in two times quick time period. Are you crazy? Noway! You are just one of the the vast majority. And an amazing majority in that! Way more the vast majority that what George Rose bush had in the final elections! The reason -social health! You are identical to the youngster who ran outside the movie theater hall that was screening an adult film (mind you, he had absolutely no business that they are there in the first place! However the many cinemas care with regards to is the purchase regarding their tickets! ) Afterwards in the day, typically the close friend who had been recently at the movies together with him, caught up together with the pup and asked, "Why in the hell's name do you run out? micron The boy answered, "My mom declared if We watched a woman obtaining naked I would change to gemstone. And darn you Harry, a portion of me was already evolving into stone! " Unfortunately, the social conditioning is wrong. It is seeing that wrong for the reason that social condition in 18-19th one hundred year The indian subcontinent, where widows had been pushed to burn living together with their husbands. As wrong as the church has been in getting rid of Galileo regarding implying everything was certainly not the centre with the market. Lily Tomlin put it very best, "We have great believe that man first strolled upright to free his / her hands for masturbation! inches If god didn't wish us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking such as dogs as well as horses! The social health is a result regarding a number of myths, lies in addition to hoaxes perpetrated by a number of individuals intended for personal profit. Unfortunately, this kind of conditioning is definitely like a hard enthusiast, very tough to split. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you are able to break it. Remember, typically the nuts that crack the toughest, are often the ones that taste the top! You actually must be wondering, how the hell does it make a difference if you are guilty about fleshlight. Why wouldn't you spend time bursting this casing? Certain research psychologists believe that shame cognizant, whether sexual guilt as well as in any other form, is the most damaging element for the mental wellness. Others believe it is one of the most destructive. Nevertheless the greatest effect involving guilt conscious in my experience offers been a lack regarding confidence throughout self. Now you are an sensible reader. I don't have to have to make clear you often the importance of self self-confidence. Whether it is your career, romantic relationships or any additional aspect of life, lack regarding confidence can bring your personal downfall. Now I am definitely not implying which will you get started to feel more comfortable with regards to masturbation, you would certainly succeed in all of elements of life. But the idea will be a nice step to help take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and will be eliminated from your mind. Remember, an ocean is manufactured of small droplets of water. Get rid of a decline at a time and in due time, the ocean would be empty! Associated with course it will take many millennia! The good news is, you avoid have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings every now and then! The first action towards eradication of the guilt is knowledge. You will discover hundreds and hundreds of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by certitude, unfortunately. But some perpetrated simply by hoax runners. Lets look into typically the most important ones. 1. Masturbation is against typically the will associated with god. Hoke. At just one point the church regarded as anyone who else was overtly excited to help his wife the adultrater. Follow that training in addition to your wife would end up being doing adultery! Several clergymen have hot on record in order to say in which not merely the church's coaching regarding sexuality were unconnected for you to the scriptures, but they caused more harm as compared to good amongst people. Furthermore, nowhere in the spiritual theories of any important made use of is masturbation considered incorrect. 2. Masturbation will probably cause erectile dysfunction. Most adult males and even several ladies seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets take on the males first. It is understandable that seeing their own sperm flow out of their body, they think this may end at some point. Properly, it will end eventually... maybe when you usually are 100 years old. Although until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is very unlike Standard Chartered. You might have unlimited credit here! Orgasm is a completely alternative learning resource, renewable on a hourly basis! For girls, well, there is absolutely no time frame in the idea. Probably perpetrated by previous ladies who also never acquired an ejaculation in their particular entire life! three. Masturbation causes acne, thinning hair, pores and skin diseases. This one is definitely my favorite. Mainly since it is on the list of far better scams of all times! Your own social conditioning might have you think that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But bad how? Nobody would provide you a satisfying answer! Now some scam musicians saw this as the very good opportunity to will sell their products including locks growth lotions, etc. Given that most people start masturbating in their teens, (the occasions of zits and some other skin problems), they might get you believe that this specific is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, this is while untrue as the sun rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no bodily side effects! four. Masturbating will make you skinny and skinny! Then there would be no need for diet program pills and health and fitness routines my friend! And many definitely 70% of STATES would not be overweight! your five. Just Kids masturbate! Exactly why will you say that? I wonder! Effectively quite untrue, most people masturbate... you got it even after relationship! six. Masturbation is for adult men. And it is for 70% on the women also. That's right, 2/3 involving all females masturbate! 8. Only losers masturbate! A different of my favorites. Merely goes to show simply how much of any taboo is masturbation! Very first thing, 00% of males and also 70% of females get masturbated at least once within their existence. Now in which is a hell of the lot of losers don't you think! Nothing considerably more that I can also add truly... this is really often the quintessential insecurity amongst men and women relating to self pleasure. 7. Masturbation is for homosexuals. Wow. Where did that will one originate! Someone need to make a etymology of those myths, would make with regard to an interesting read! Merely as untrue as all of these myths, masturbation and also homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate to their fantasies of other sex, other individuals to their own fantasies of same love-making. That's it. in search of. Masturbation will make you blind! Others claim that masturbation is actually bad for your own personal eyesight. But their says are unsupported by facts and medical advice. My partner and i suggest you talk to your common physician in addition to he will clarify anyone what a load connected with bull this is. 15. Masturbation changes the appearance of your male organ Nicely, it does make this rock solid. But believe myself, as soon as you orgasm, the solidity fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no effect on how your penis seems.