#montoc

[hydralisk98]

Just in case I forget. (Lost a draft over it once again... might edit later)

I own design #2 & #7, aka the Sage blood and the Sienna blood. Could become very handy quite fast.

Also, here is my latest commissioned fantroll from my September 15th 2020's backup. Not sure if I got it before then but as it was hosted on Imgur and probably got forgotten there due to the artist no longer being active (at least for commissions) since that timestamp, would be also lost if it wasn't for my smartphone photo album on adoptables... And yes, each of them needs some adjustments to account at least somewhat towards bodily gender history and extended zodiac dynamics.

Part1

Your name is KAPROS MONTOC and YOU'RE VERY EXCITED. On a whim, you decided to explore an abandoned give that was on your way into town. At first, you didn't find anything, but eventually you discovered a pile of RETRO TECHNOLOGY. Now that you've finished bringing all the retro tech home, you're now going through your LOOT. None of it seems particularly rare, but you did get to finish your set of A2 RAVENAIR HUSKTOPS. Under your pile of loot, you have various ZOMBIE MOVIES scattered across your hive. You think it's a bit silly, but you love to imagine yourself inside the movies, thinking of what you would do. When you finally decide to go outside, you love to play PAINTBALL with your friends, through you're not very good. You blame it on your paintball visor, but actually just have TERRIBLE AIM. Your trolltag is computerBoy 4nd you c4n b3 4 bi7 h4rd 7o und3r274ndddddddd bu7 you 7ry 7o b3 chi11 :-]

Part2

Theme: Retrocomputing Name: Kapros Montoc Name explanation: Kapros is based on Kaypros, a retrocomputing computer company. Montoc is based on the Macintosh, one of the most popular retrocomputing computers. Gender: Male World: Alternia Age: 7 Sweeps [about 15 human years] Alignment: Neutral Good Dreamer Type: Prospit Strife Specibus: Cablekind Fetch Modus: Array - All captchalogued items are stored in a singular list and converted to binary, To access an item, he has to type in the integer associated with the item. His fetch modus is very slow and hasn't been updated, making it very easy to hack and causing frequent glitches. God Tier: Rogue of Mind Blood Color: Olive [#5B7C00 R: 91 G: 124 B: 0] Psionics: None Symbol: Power Button

Part3

Lusus: A quadrupedal furry animal slightly larger than a small dog that looks like a cross between a cat and a squirrel. He has a large fluffy tail that expands further when scared. His mouth has some flat teeth with two canines that continuously grow. To keep his teeth from growing too much, he chews on wires, handles and anything else he can, despite having many chew toys. When scared, he can send a shock though someone who touches him. Named Catdad. Hive: Lives on the top floor of a communal give stem. His hive is quite messy and colorful, with magazines and comic books splayed across the floor. The walls are painted grey, but covered in neon posters and paint stains. His floor is covered in a rug patterned after a cult classic zombie movie. His lusus sleeps on a small bed next to his computer desk. When necessary, he shovels the objects on his floor into his closet and shuts the door. Ancestor: The Operator

Part4

Trolltag: computerBoy [CB] Land: Land of Cogs and Rust [LOCAR] Quest: The land is made of cogs and steampunk machines that keep the planet running smoothly. Recently, the cogs have started to rust and the machines are beginning to fail, leaving the land stopped and the consorts stranded. The emotions have clouded the consort's abilities, making it so they cannot solve the problem on their own. Kapros must help fix the clockwork system and assist the consorts to set aside their emotions and distribute their intelligence and emotions. Once the cycle is reestablished, his quest bed and denizen become available. Denizen: Metis

Part5

Trickster: Cotton Candy Ice Cream Death: Accidentally impaled himself on a fence post. Personality: Very relaxed and mellow, rarely getting upset. He's very personable and social, spending most of his time with others. Does his best to be flexible and upbeat. Overly trusting to the point of being gullible. Afraid of upsetting others, leading to him being cowardly. Slightly forgetful and can be indecisive if he believes the decisions might affect others. Very quiet with strangers but very talkative with his friends. Hemoloyalty: Largely indifferent to the hemospectrum, but is very wary around mutants and seadwellers Interests: Retrocomputing, zombie movies, and paintball.

Part6

Typing Quirk: 4yyyyy :-] k33p2 hi2 23n73nc32 2imp13 u232 4 1o7 of 13372p34k no punct7u47ion or c4pi741iz47ion 1ik32 7o 2p4m 3mo7icon2 X-D v3ry chi11 ;-) 23nd2 4 1o7 of m3224g32 1ik3 4 1o7 m3224g32 >_> Other: Chews gum near-constantly Has a small neck tic

Also, this specific video rocks, and it inspires me quite to make my very own MS-Paint adventures content, really! (Especially over the hemospectrum, the feedback format, the worldbuilding and some of the alchemy)

[sakuranathalia]

PIEL MADURA ¿COMO PUEDO APLICAR LAS SOMBRAS EN MI PARPADO?

[headheartbellarke]

EIGHTEEN | Charlie Gillespie

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x sister’s best friend!fem reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, fluff

WORDS: 3.9k

SUMMARY: “So kiss me where I lay down

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground

I have loved you since we were 18

Long before we both thought the same thing

To be loved and to be in love

All I can do is say that these arms

Are made for holding you.”

READ ON AO3 

OR READ HERE BELOW

    Charlie smiles, watching the sunlight dance on Y/N’s face, almost like little splashes of golden paint. She hums to whatever song is playing through her earphones, a faint smile teasing the corners of her lips. Her eyes are closed, and Charlie marvels at how peaceful and serene she looks. Her h/c hair surrounds her head like a halo, and he is tempted to reach forward and press a kiss to her temple.

  He doesn’t do that, of course. Instead, he gets up from his couch and joins Y/N on the floor, lying beside her. Her eyelashes flutter at his movement and quaint, kind e/c eyes hold his stare, eyebrows raised in question.

  “I thought you said that you were too mighty for the floor.” She teases, biting her lower lip to hide a smile. Charlie almost melts at that.

  “I never said that. Is everything okay up there?” He points his index finger at her head.

  The young woman of nineteen laughs mockingly. “Why, afraid you’re rubbing off your crazy on me?”

  Charlie rolls his eyes, and shifts closer to her, their arms touching slightly – and even that slight touch makes him feels butterflies in his stomach. It’s not uncommon, of course. Ever since he realized that he is indeed in love with her, anything that she does gives him butterflies. He doesn’t mind, of course – but he hates the fact that he is unable to tell her what effect she has on him. So, he resorts to ignoring or suppressing everything he feels for his little sister’s best friend instead.

  She pulls out an ear pod from her left ear and shoves it into Charlie’s ear. Eastside. She’s had this song on repeat, ever since she came to visit him in Vancouver, where he’s filming for the first season of Julie and The Phantoms.

  “I love this song. Reminds me of my first boyfriend. Remember him?” She says, softly.

  “Aaron. How could I forget? You begged me to cover for you at home so you could hang out with him.” He says, smiling softly at the memory. They were so young, Y/N just fourteen, and him sixteen. He remembers Y/N sitting beside him on the couch while he was watching a movie, all flushed and bothered, eyes continuously flitting to Charlie. He remembers saying, “I know you’re dying to tell me something.”

  She had nodded, looking around the Gillespies’ living room where they were currently seated in, apprehensively. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

  He had jutted out his pinky finger and wrapped it around hers. “Never.”

  “I think I really, really, super-duper like Aaron.”

  “Aaron as in your next-door neighbor?”

  “Yep.”

  Charlie had smirked. “He’s such a dork. I can’t believe that you like him.”

  “Shut up, Char. He’s the sweetest.”

  He chuckled. “His hobby is taking pictures of trees… if that doesn’t scream ‘dork’, then I don’t know what does.”

  She had glared at him while Megan had entered the room, plopping down on the couch beside Charlie. “What’s up?”

  “I’m telling him about Aaron, and he thinks that he’s a dork.”

  Megan shrugged. “What’s wrong with that? He’s really cute. Also, he was asking about you today.”

  “Really?” Y/N’s eyes brightened. Charlie laughed, shaking his head. “You girls are weird. But I approve. He’s a nice kid.”

  “I wasn’t looking for your approval?”

  “Yes, you were.”

  The girls had rolled their eyes at him and he had wrapped his arms around the two.

  Y/N’s voice brings him back to the present. “Simple times.”

  Charlie faces her. “Everyone after him were horrible.”

  She narrows her eyes at the boy beside her. “No, you were just too overprotective.”

  “Nope. They were all horrible.”

  They weren’t. Charlie just hated anyone who showed an interest in Y/N. At first, he thought that it was probably because he had literally watched her grow up. But a couple of months later, when he watched her kiss Levitt from the swim team, he had felt a smoldering rage rise in his stomach, along with his heart clenching. That day, he had realized that maybe there was more to it than watching her grow up. A couple more months later, on his eighteenth birthday, when she had kissed him on his cheek and handed him a present wrapped in shiny, blue paper, he had felt butterflies in his stomach. He also could feel the ghost of her delicate lips against his skin for days after, like the remnants of a fire brushing against his cheek.

  When he unwrapped the present, he found a vintage, hardbound copy of his favorite book, Les Misérables, along with a note, saying: ‘I might’ve read your journal. Only the part about how much you loved hardcovers and the part about how much you hated the fact that no bookstores nearby sold it. Well, I also might’ve read the part about how frustrated you are with microwave timers. I feel you, dude. But, yeah, remember when I said that I was going to visit my sister in Montoc? I lied, LOL. I went to a vintage bookstore in Fredericton. I’m sorry for lying, but ‘twas for a good reason, huh? Hope you like this. Also, you’re my second favorite person, after Meg. Happy 18th, Charles. Love, Y/N.’

  That moment he had realized that he was completely, utterly, truly, madly, deeply in love with his little sister’s best friend.

  It’s been about three years since that, and he still hasn’t told her how he feels.

  Now, Y/N looks at him, and rolls her eyes. “Sheesh.”

  She props herself on her elbow. “When are we going out today?”

  “Jeremy said that he made a reservation at 6. So, we’ll leave half an hour earlier.”

  “Okay. Is Owen going with us?”

  “Yeah. I don’t trust him to drive in Canada.”

  She grins. “He’s cool.”

  “Maybe sometimes.”

  “Savannah and Madi are the coolest, though.”

  “Definitely, yeah.”

  “You never told me that you had a cute roomie, though.”

  “Yeah – wait what?”

  Y/N flashes him a teasing smile and pushes herself upward with the palm of her hands. She brushes off her yoga pants and extends an arm to Charlie who is currently panicking inside.

  “Do you like Owen?”

  “What if I do?”

  Charlie must have looked as horrified as he had felt because she laughs and says, “I’m just messing with you.”

  “Thank god.”

***

  “Finally!” Y/N yells, kicking off her black, leather heels, which land near Charlie’s feet. He laughs, kicking them to the side.

  “You’re so dramatic.”

  “I dare you to wear heels like that for a day. See how you feel.”

  Owen pipes from behind them, closing the door to their apartment. “Oh, I did. My friend Dani made me wear them for a video. It was the most painful day of my life.”

  “See!” Y/N high fives his roommate as Charlie scrunches up his face. “How’d she find heels in your size, dude?”

  He laughs, and extends an arm toward the other two, who hand him their coats, muttering ‘thank you’ individually. He walks inside, yelling, “I’m fucking tired. Going to sleep.”

  “Don’t forget to check the stove!” Charlie yells back, hearing his roommate affirm his request.

  It’s just the two of them standing in the foyer now, and Charlie can’t stop staring at her. She’s wearing this beautiful red dress that compliments her skin perfectly, clinging to her body in all the right places – he had himself gifted her this dress on her nineteenth birthday. (Not really. His mother had picked the dress.)

  She hasn’t noticed him staring, though.

  “Ugh, I can’t wait to get out of this dress.” She walks inside.

  Charlie pauses and purses his lips, trying to stop himself from picturing him doing it. He breathes out raggedly and follows her inside – trying (and failing) to shove that mental picture away.

  Reaching the living room, he falls back onto the couch, which has been his bed for the past few days that Y/N has been here. She had protested, of course. But she already has so much trouble sleeping – she’s had it ever since she was a child.

  Y/N hadn’t had the best childhood. Charlie faintly remembers his mom pulling him and his sister into the kitchen one day when Y/N left their house after spending the whole day there.

  “Mom? What happened to Y/N?” Megan had asked, childlike innocence dripping off her tone.

  Charlie had nodded, saying, “How’d she fall down the stairs? That bruise looked nasty.”

  Their mother had sighed, and Charlie still remembers the pain in her eyes. “Honey. I want you to listen carefully, okay? And not tell anyone. You two think you can do that?”

  They nodded enthusiastically.

  “There are good people in this world – like Y/N. But there are also bad people, people who hurt the good people. And sometimes, sometimes, your parents can also be bad people.”

  “That’s not true!” Megan had protested, their mother smiling.

  “Maybe not for you. I hope so. But Y/N’s parents – they aren’t the best people, okay? They…uh… I’m not going to excuse their actions. They, uh, hurt Y/N.”

  “So, they pushed her down the stairs?” Charlie asked, his eyes widened. He could not understand how the people that loved you the most could do that to you, especially to someone like Y/N. He’s known her his entire life, ever since the Y/L/Ns moved next door when he was still in diapers.

  “I don’t know. Something happened. She was too shaken up to talk about it.”

  “But – but – she’s the best person ever! Why would her mom and dad do that to her?” Megan had protested, eyes welling with tears at the thought of her best friend getting hurt.

  “I don’t know, honey. I wish I did, I really do.” Their mother paused for a long moment. “I want you two to always be nice to her, alright? No matter what happens. Because, right now, she feels alone. I can see it in her eyes – she’s scared, confused, lonely. I know you two love her so much, and I want you guys to make sure that she knows it, okay? Make sure that she never feels lonely, all right? Make sure that she’s always safe and comfortable, as long as she’s with us, you.”

  They had nodded, their hearts welling up with love for their friend.

  After their mother hugged the two of them, Charlie’s twelve-year-old sister had run off to the other room, to call her best friend and tell her just how much she loves her.

  Charlie had lingered in the kitchen, too sad over what he’d just been told.

  “Maman?”

  “Yes, honey?”

  “Can’t we just keep her for ourselves?”

  “If we could, we would. I would like nothing more. But that’s absolutely not legal, mon chéri.”

  “Oh. That’s unfair.”

  His mother had flashed him a sad smile. He had taken both of his hands in his, and said sincerely, “I promise you, maman. I’m always gonna protect her. No matter what.”

  His mother had pressed a kiss into his tousled hair and whispered, “I expect nothing less.”

  It’s been more than seven years since, but Charlie still does everything in his power to make sure that she is always safe and happy.

  “Hey, Char?” Her voice brings him back from his childhood.

  “Yeah?”

  “That couch doesn’t look comfortable.” She shrugged one shoulder.

  “It is! I promise you.” He lied. It definitely wasn’t comfortable. The blinding pain in his neck is proof of that.

  “Don’t lie to me. Come on, sleep in your bed.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’re not gonna sleep on the couch, Y/N. Seriously. You’re right, it’s too uncomfortable.”

  “I wasn’t gonna. We’ll sleep together. That came out wrong. I mean, we can both sleep in the same bed, we’re both adults.”

  Charlie wanted to protest, but the hopeless romantic in him drowned all objections.

  “We’ll put pillows between us, okay? And it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. Remember my seventeenth? We were so drunk that we thought that the bed was a magnet, and we were screws.” She continued, looking away.

  Charlie smiled up at her, remembering the feeling he had the next morning when he had woken up to find Y/N curled up into him, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. “All right. If it’s okay with you.”

  She nods, walking into his bedroom, with Charlie following close behind. Both them wordlessly change and freshen up in the bathroom, and Charlie falls face first in his bed.

  “Oh. My. God.”

  Y/N laughs, sitting at the corner of his bed. “Knew it.”

  Charlie grins at her, feeling absolutely euphoric, especially with the buzz from all the drinks he’s had tonight still lingering in his head like a tattoo kiss. She slides under the covers, burrowing her face into the soft pillows. “I can’t function anymore. Bye.”

  He laughs softly, squeezing her shoulder, to which she softly smiles. He slides under the cover, resting on his side to face her, or rather a mess of h/c hair and soft, rhythmic breaths. He closes his eyes, switching off the light, but he knows that he will not be getting much sleep tonight, especially with the fuzzy citrus scent of her perfume everywhere and the heat from her body consuming him.

***

  It’s 1:20 AM and Charlie can’t sleep. Turns out that being in the same bed with the girl he’s been in love with since he was eighteen is a very, very bad idea. He’s put as much space between them as possible, yet he still feels vigilant and hot. His mind is betraying him: all he can think about is how beautiful she looks when the moonlight streaming through his window is casting shadows on her face, or how she’s sometimes saying things (really, really weird things, though – Charlie doesn’t understand anything), how much she looks like a little cat while she’s snuggled into the covers, or how she flails her arms while she’s asleep.

  He considers crashing in Owen’s room for the night. But as soon as Y/N starts moving around, still sleeping, he holds that thought and watches her instead.

  He can see her getting agitated, as she tosses and turns. She continues murmuring something, but it’s still all jumbled, and it hits Charlie.

  He props himself on his elbow and leans close to her face. “Y/N. Hey. Come back to me. Y/N. Honey. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

  She gasps, as consciousness floods in her system. She looks confused for a second, and Charlie sits up, right beside her. “Listen to me. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay.”

  She exhales, eyes closing for a second.

  “Are you okay?” Charlie asks when her breathing has turned cadenced.

  Her eyes widen and lips part. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t ever need to apologize for that. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I just – ever since I left home, I’ve been getting these nightmares.” She says, softly. Charlie lays next to her, turning to face her, while she mirrors his actions.

  “What do you see?” He asks.

  “Mostly my childhood. You know, my dad pushing me down the stairs. Or my mother telling me that I’m a horrible person and no one will ever love me, and she should have aborted me. Or my dad breaking the mirror the one time I got a B in math. Or my parents fighting. Or – you know, just a montage of my parents’ greatest hits.”

  She breathes out shakily.

  “Getting away didn’t stop the nightmares, huh?” He asks, resting a hand on her warm cheek.

  She scoots closer. “No. They still text me sometimes, mostly to remind me that I’m a terrible person and that I’m gonna go to hell for walking out on them and not going to Harvard.”

  “Y/N, don’t you dare –”

  “No. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Walking out was the best decision that I’ve ever made.”

  He smiles softly at her.

  “You and Megan… god, you two saved my life. I would never have had the courage to get this far if it wasn’t for you guys.”

  “No, honey. It was all you. You’re the strongest person we know.”

  “Shush. Let me compliment you in peace. You guys are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know.”

  She smiles, reaching forward to tangle run her hands through Charlie’s hair. They were dangerously close now: Charlie could see the curve of her nose, the lingering red lipstick color on her lips and count the number of eyelashes she has.

  “You’re the best thing that’s happened to us, too.”

  Charlie can feel something in the space between them, something pulling them close. It is cold outside, but here, in the cocoon they’ve created, he feels warm and at home.

  “Like, thank you so much for pushing me to get into law school. Now, I’m learning how to help millions of little girls who are going through what I went through, and it makes everything worth it. I feel like I don’t say this enough, but Charlie. Thank you for everything.”

  He smiles, trying to retort something funny but her proximity has jumbled his mind.

  “I know you’re really busy with your life, but thanks for still thinking of me sometimes.”

  That breaks Charlie out of his daze. “What?”

  “You know. You’re in a Netflix show, working with Kenny freaking Ortega and all these incredible people – and I’m enormously proud of you, by the way – and… well, you’ll soon not have that much time for your little sister’s best friend, you know?”

  “You’re not just my little sister’s best friend, Y/N.”

  “Yeah, I’m your friend, alright. But soon you’ll be meeting celebrities and models and actors and then you wouldn’t have time for me anymore.”

  Charlie furrows his brows. “Where is this coming from, Y/N?”

  “I just had a lot of time to think today.” She turns on her back, facing the ceiling.

  He hates the fact that she is so unpredictable: he never knows what’s going on in her head or what she is feeling. That’s one of the reasons that he’s kept his feelings for her a secret for almost three years.

  “I saw you with that model today. At the bar. Uh. So, I thought that you’re probably gonna meet a lot of them in LA. Models and Hollywood girls and all that. So, you’ll probably not have any time for me anymore.”

  Charlie shakes his head, recalling the model he was talking to earlier today. Or rather, yesterday. Carol. She was really nice, sweet, and beautiful – and definitely interested in Charlie. But his focus had been on Y/N, who was having a dance off with Owen and Savannah, all evening – or rather, all the time. He had tried to focus on the Carol, he really did – but after an hour, she herself realized that he wasn’t into her and whispered a ‘good luck with her’ to him before leaving to go back to her friends.

  “Y/N, that’s not true –”

  “It’s okay, Charlie. It’s good. Your life shouldn’t be stuck in the same place. It should be getting better, and you should be meeting new people, you know? You’ve been alone for a weirdly long time and it’s freaking your mom out. So, I know you’re gonna fall in love with someone and then you’ll be too busy –”

  “God, Y/N, how are you so fucking oblivious?” Charlie snaps, annoyance coursing through his veins.

  Her eyes widen at his harsh tone of voice, and it shocks Charlie, too. He’s never, ever raised his voice at her.

  “What?”

  Maybe it’s having her so incredibly close that causes him to finally snap. “Y/N, I have been in love with you ever since I was eighteen. You’re the only person that I want, and you’re the reason that I’ve been alone for a weirdly long time.”

  He immediately regrets saying that. Y/N is sitting up, and she is looking around everywhere, trying to avert Charlie’s eyes. He hides his face behind his hands, sinking deeper into the covers and trying to create a hole and fall down to the center of the earth.

  “I think you’ve had too much to drink today.”

  He groans into his hands, glad that he’s under the covers and the girl can’t see his absolutely scarlet face. “Oh, for god’s sake. Dude. I wrote you an entire ballad when I was nineteen because I realized that this is exactly what’s gonna happen – that I’m always gonna be in love with you, and you’re always gonna think of me as your best friend’s older brother.”

  He feels the covers shift above his head, and is greeted with Y/N’s face, a vulnerable look in her eyes. “Do you really mean it?”

  “Of course, I do. You’re my family – do you really think that I’m gonna joke about something like this and ruin our friendship? The only reason I’m even telling you this is because I’m incredibly frustrated that you’re so oblivious and you’re so fucking pretty. And so close. See, this is exactly why I wanted to sleep on the couch. Because I knew that I would lose it.”

  There’s a sudden flurry of movement and her lips are on his’, and they’re kissing, kissing, kissing. Charlie is too shocked to do anything at first but as soon as the warmth courses through his system and the butterflies go wild in his gut, he pulls her closer, rising up. She sits in his lap, straddling him, their hands getting lost in each other’s hairs – both of them trying to be closer, closer, closer to make up for all the lost years and to keep feeling the contentment that they feel from just being close to each other. She tastes like Charlie’s mint toothpaste and his dreams – like everything he’s ever wanted.

  As they separate for air, Y/N rests her forehead on his. “I thought you knew.”

  “What?” He’s surprised to find his voice hoarse.

  “That I’m in love with you.”

  He can’t stop the grin on his face from escaping. “What?”

  “I thought Meg told you. Or your mum. Or anyone really. Everyone’s called me out on it. I’ve always had a crush on you but dating all those guys in high school made me realize that I was kind of, you know, in love with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Same reason as you. You’re my family, Charlie. I didn’t wanna lose what we have just because of… you know.”

  Y/N slides off his lap and lies on the bed, next to him and he mirrors her actions, and she rests her head on his chest, the frantic beating in his chest her background music. He drapes an arm around her shoulders, desperate to have her close.

  “We’re both cowards, eh?”

  She giggles.

  “Wait. Meg knew?”

  “Of course. She’s my best friend.”

  “You know, one day I got drunk and told her that ‘I’m 100% attracted to your best friend sexually and emotionally and everythingally.’ I kept wondering why she was laughing.”

  “I hate her.” She buries her face in Charlie’s chest, giggling.

  Charlie laughs and pulls her in for another kiss, desperate to hold her again, to feel the high he only feels around her. She smiles against his lips, before a thought occurs to him. “Wait. You were jealous of the bar girl, weren’t you?”

  “Shut up, you dork.”

  They’re only half aware of the snowstorm raging outside from the warm cocoon they’ve created in each other’s arms. Maybe miracles really do exist.

***

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[dreamboytranscripts-blog]

Dreamboy Episode 2: The Boy & The Buck

DISCLAIMER: During the show, there are sounds and background noise playing as if to seem like you are actually there. This is what goes inside his brain, almost like he is talking to himself. The parts in “” are what he or other people say out loud. Also, I apologize for the spelling of names.

DANE: [Snoring]

RADIO: [Starts and plays opera] [High pitched note]

DANE: “Uh! Okay. Okay Okay. I’m up, I’m up... 12. 12. It’s 12. 12 am…”

RADIO:[Clapping and women saying ‘thank you. Thank you’]

DANE: “Fuck.” I’m half hanging off my bed, sheets twisted in my legs, pillows on the floor. Hand on my face.

MAN ON RADIO: “That was ‘The Mint Apple’ music by Francois Gearde. Preformed there by Allison Balvinbalm at the Cleveland Moriarity last Sunday evening. Ms. Bavinbalm’s offered a stunning program consisting mostly of Gearde’s songs and arias. And if you would like to hear more opera tonight, tune in later for ‘Opera Tonight’ with Brian Kettering. The news is coming up, but first a small pivan for solo piano, from French composer John Luplane.”

[Piano music starts playing]

DANE: I do not believe I did the A.M. /P.M. alarm mix-up thing. The radio alarm, which is usually news in the morning, is currently deep in its late-night classical program. Jesus, who stays up all night listening to this shit. I have to pee anyway. So I get up and I float to the bathroom in the dark. Arms out in front of me like a Macy’s Day balloon of a huge naked man, grumbling.

I pee, I flush, I shuffle back to bed. But, just before I lay down I hear something. Outside. In the front yard. Through the open window. Like a small voice. I walk over to the window. And then I jump and hide as soon as I see them. It’s the little girls from the grocery store. Standing under the street light in front of my house. Staring right up at me.

“What the fuck.”

I give it a few seconds. And then I look again. But now they are gone. I know I just saw them, they were just here. Then they reappear under another streetlight down the block, walking fast. They turn the corner and they’re gone. I go back to bed. But I feel off, something feels off. I’ve been seeing these little girls everywhere since the grocery store last weekend. They’re always ducking down allies and looking away when I look like they’re following me. I try to calm down. I try doing these breathing exercises that this boy in New York taught me.

[Inhaling] “One two three. Dollars in the bank.”[Exhaling]

[Inhaling] “One two three. Dollars in the bank.”[Exhaling]

It doesn’t seem to be working. I pull the covers up to my chin like I haven’t done since I was a kid.

MAN ON THE RADIO: “We just heard a lovely, if a bit meandering, pivan by John Luplane. Now it’s time for the news.”

[News music]

“Authorities have their first lead in the search for a plane that went missing over Lake Erie last weekend. Species of scavenger fish have been reported in the north-central part of the lake and could indicate the possible presence of large carcasses in the water, according to officials. In other news, Judge Elizabeth Gardner is set to rule on the controversial case of Zoe the Zebra sometime in the following week. The zebra is being quarantined and faces mandatory euthanization after an incident resulting in the death of 12-year-old Ian Harris last summer. Eli Critch, director of the zoo, declined to comment on the Zoe controversy, but instead flashing his infamous smile at reporters and said ‘Love is timeless. We’ll see you next spring for the new exhibit, The Forgotten Sea.’”

DANE: “How do you forget a whole sea?”

MAN ON RADIO: “And later this week we are turning to the garden center outside of the Lawsers-[fades into background]”

DANE: I’m starting to calm down. And I’m hot so I pull the covers down to a normal adult place. And close my eyes.

MAN ON RADIO: “-and call the station and give us your best impersonation of an orchid. What does an orchid sound like? Hm? Boohoo Bree pp [continues making noises in the background]”

DANE: And this guy’s voice is actually relaxing.

MAN ON RADIO: “Buhhhhhh. You know, I don’t know. Who knows. Anyway, the weather. Feels like there is definitely something blowing in off the lake. Currently 66 degrees and blustery. Chance of rain in the early morning hours. It’s just after midnight and this is 897 Classical Cleveland. Which must mean, I’m Dan Rudelstein. Welcome.

Next up we have a real piece of musical esertaria for you. Now most of you are probably familiar with ‘Hale to the Chief’, the official fanfare that plays whenever the United States president enters a room or formal function. But there are other less known and seldom heard pieces of music associated with the U.S. presidency. Take for example, the Inaugural Waltz. Now, the first Inaugural Waltz was composed in 1809 for the inauguration of James Madison and was danced by James and his wife, Dolly, at the ball. And it was such a hit, everybody loved so much they said we need to have one for every inauguration. So a new waltz was commissioned, composed, and dance at every inauguration all the way up until 1933, when F.D.R. did away with the tradition of dancing the waltz. Calling it a quote ‘thick ritual for thin times.’ Now, the waltz did not go quietly into the night, no [laughs]. Instead it went underground and remained a vital part of the ceremonial fabric of the inauguration. A new waltz still being commissioned and composed for every president all the way up through present day. However, most of this music has never been heard, until now. In a fabulous new recording entitled ‘Undanced’. Some of this music finally gets it debut. So, without further ado, here is the United States Marine band, augmented by the United States Marine Chamber Orchestra under the baton of Lieutenant Colonel James K. Montoc with ‘Dance of the Honey Wasp.’ The official inaugural waltz of President Ronald and first lady Nancy Reagan.” [Music starts playing]

DANE: I know he just it didn’t happen but I can’t help but picture it. A dark ballroom. A circle pf stoned faced dignitaries standing around. Ronald on one side, Nancy on the other. Slowly they approach a spotlight in the middle of a big dancefloor. They grab onto each other and lean in and say something in their nasty secret little language. Then they smile. Take a breath. And start waltzing.

RADIO: [Waltz starts]

DANE: Ugh. As they spin, his joules come out like wings like gross flesh wings. Ugh. I’m getting sick just thinking about it. Them spinning around and around and around. And around.

RADIO: [Music continues to play then turns ominous at around 9:24]

DANE: I’m back in the dream. Totally submerged in that dark water. Hanging. Swaying. And then the cold on my legs again. And again I try to get away. Swimming harder and harder until I’m thrashing and I open my mouth to scream. And nothing. Everything is dark and still for what seems like a really long time. And then, a light. Soft but growing coming from everywhere. Like dawn. And the water goes from black to cloudy green all around me. Except for some of the water stays black. The water below me. A shadow. And then it moves like a wall. It slides away into the green murk in front of me and I watch the spot where it disappeared. I keep watching. Waiting. And then I see its face come out of the green. It’s so big it’s-it’s the size of a front of a school bus. It stops. Like 20 feet from me. Like it’s looking at me. But its eyes look dead. Black with bony circles around them. And its jaws are, lust huge jagged bone blades that don’t quite fit together all the way. They are hanging half open. All of a sudden they start to move. They start opening. And I feel the water around me start to flow towards the mouth. No. No. NO. And the mouth is opening wider and wider and I try to get away. [Gasp and music returns to background]

I turn off the radio. I sit up in bed. I throw off the covers. I’m in the guest bedroom at Emily’s house. I look down. My dick is so hard it’s throbbing. My belly is wet with pre-cum. A breeze from the open window makes it feel instantly cold. The open window. I remember the girl scouts and get creeped out all over again. My eyes fall on a rectangle of warm light on the bedroom wall. The house next to Emily’s is empty, it’s been on the market for months now, ever since I got here and the realtor comes everyday almost to show it and I see him come and go. But when he leaves he leaves lights on inside the house. I guess to deter break-ins at night. Anyway, since there are no curtains on the windows these lights cast rectangles of warm light all over, all around the house. On the lawn, on the side of Emily’s house, and one in my bedroom. I’m looking at it right now, trying not to think of those girl scouts, when all of a sudden it vanishes. Like it had never been there at all. Leaving perfectly blue wall. Blue as a whale dream. And then it starts. The thrum thrum thrum of blood in my neck and the physical arrival of a question. I can feel it in my gut. Why did the light go out? Now there are plenty of perfectly reasonable explanations of why the light went out but for some reason my brain is only interested in the terrifying ones, the unreasonable ones. I have to look. I get out of bed, I start walking to my window but a chilling thought occurs me just before I get there, what if there is someone or something in the empty house? It could see me If I’m next to my window. So I jump on my bed and army roll across it and I land on the floor on the other side in the dark. And I walk until the window of the empty house comes into view through my window. I try to squint into it. Try to see into the blackness beyond the reflection of the streetlight but I can’t. And then, another light, from the side. It’s the motion light from behind the house. And then another question, what’s moving in the backyard? So I put on shorts and I go downstairs. I can hear the old house moving all around me, groaning like I woke it up. And I get into the kitchen and that motion light is blaring through all of the windows and it’s coming through the crack and the backdoor, it’s like ‘Close Encounters’ of the third kind down there and I walk up to the backdoor and I look out the window and I try to peek over the privacy fence into the yard of the empty house next door but I can’t see over the privacy fence. I mean it’s a privacy fence. I’m gonna have to go outside. So I take a breath and I open the door and I step out onto the porch. It’s cold. I can see my breath. I walk to the edge of the porch and I look over the privacy fence into the backyard of the empty house. Nothing. Just the driveway of the empty house. A long satin grey loaf that runs all the way down to the street. And the new sod of the backyard, green. Half of the backyard is in shadow. And just then the motion light clicks off. And it’s like everything relaxes. And slowly my yes just starts to adjust and the nighttime starts to give me things back and that faint blue outline stuff, there’s like a hose spool in the backyard. And the electric meter on the side of the house and then a pair of large eyes. I find them already watching me. And then antlers come into view above the eyes. And something about our eyes connecting must have engendered and ultimatum in the buck because it straightens up and looks at me for just a second before it takes off and dashes down the drive way. And the motion light comes on and splashes its warm hide in my eyes for just a second before it’s gone. I watch it disappear Run into the street. And everything is quiet except for the hum of the motion light. And then the flick of a lighter. I instinctively hunch down. A small orange ember appears on the back porch of the empty house. It floats towards the edge, until a young man comes into view. He is young but his skin is covered in what look like tattoos. He takes a hit of his cigarette and leans out into the light and looks down the driveway to where the buck disappeared. And then he turns and his eyes meet mine.

“Fuck.”

He lets the hit go until the smoke obscures his face and when the smoke clears his eyes have moved on. I don’t think he saw me. He’s looking over his shoulder, scanning the dark yards. And then he takes his cigarette and he puts it in his lips and holds it there in that way that smokers do where they sorta purse their lips. And his hands goes down to his pants. He undoes his button, his zipper, puts one thumb in the elastic of his underwear and pulls down until his dick flops over and hangs there. My eyes swallow it. It’s big and floppy and it has one long view that zig zags through it like a river. And the foreskin ruffed and folds around the head, it looks like the collar of ancient royalty. It’s lit dramatically by the motion light on the garage, it’s like a diva getting ready for her aria. I see his checks suck in as he pulls in on his cigarette. The ember brightens. My eyes widen. Her music starts. And then the motion light clicks off. And the slat sound of piss hitting new sod. Then after a few second the cigarette is a shooting star, explodes on the driveway. And then I hear the screen door on the empty house shut and I’m left alone, in the dark. Piss steam and cigarette smoke drifting towards me and I feel like a young boy after his first magic show.

I go back inside and I go back upstairs. Call it a hunch but I get my phone out and I re-download Grindr. I sign in with my email and my password, it takes like 10 seconds and I’m back on the grid. And sure enough, right next to me is a blank profile, 20 feet away. I click on it. It expands. No age, 5’8”, 130lbs, right now. And then the sounds. Brrip.

NO NAME: “Hey.”

DANE: “Hey.”

NO NAME: “Big buck, huh?”

DANE: “Yeah it was.”

NO NAME: “Are there a lot around here?”

DANE: “Yeah they like the lake.”

NO NAME: “What lake?”

DANE: “Um, Lake Erie. It’s one of the Great Lakes.”

NO NAME: “LOL, you’re funny. More pics?”

DANE: The headlights of a car swing through my window and I hear the unmistakable sound of tires on driveway grid. I get up and look. An SUV is parked in the driveway of the empty house next door. A man gets out. It’s the realtor.

Brrip

NO NAME: “I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon. I’m Luke by the way.”

DANE: Luke. Luke? This is Luke from the cake box? The realtor goes into the house. The lights that were on inside the house turn off one by one. I see two shadows move on each other, their legs tangling. They spill into another dark room and I lose them for a minute. I get closer to my window and I wait. And when they reappear, their forms are defined by the dim glow of streetlight. Luke is naked and bent over. The realtor is behind him, still wearing his shirt and loosen tie and there is rhythm to their movement. Soft lion's flexing with each other. I feel myself getting hard in my shorts. The realtor quickens and Luke’s eyes close tight. His jaw falls open a little more with each thrust. I start touching myself. Luke steadies himself with an arm on the window ledge. The realtor reaches around and puts his fingers in Luke’s mouth.

“Fuck this is hot.”

I’m rubbing my dick through my shorts. The realtor runs his other hand up Luke’s back, threads it through his blonde hair, makes a fit and pulls Luke’s head back hard. His eyes swing up towards me in the window and I see him see me. My hand on my dick. And then he smiles wide. As much as a person can smile with fingers in their mouth. So I slide my shorts off and get closer to the window so he can see all of me. My dick is rock hard now and I start jerking off. Faster and faster. And realtor is drumming away on his own holy agenda and completely unaware of me. But Luke eyes are locked on my dick and the realtor’s rhythm reaches a climax and his drumming turns into this sort of twitching. [Breathing hard] And I feel myself build and build and let go and I hear it hit the window. And I double over. When I look up they are gone and my cum is running like slow milk down the pane. After a little bit I see them reappear in another window, in the kitchen of the empty house. The realtor dressed, tightening his tie. Luke is still naked. They are facing each other. And then a flash of movement. The realtor pulls his hand back and punches Luke hard in the face. Luke spins and falls back down out of view and the realtor turns quickly and leaves. I see his legs rushing through the dark house. I back away from my window. My heart starts pounding. I hear a car door and then an engine and then the lights swing back through my room the way they came.

“What do I do?”

I peak out again. I look down at the kitchen window. Nothing. He still hasn’t gotten up. So I put on jeans and a hoodie and shoes and I go downstairs. And I go out my front door and I cross the lawns and the driveway. And u on the porch of the other house. I try the handle. It’s open. I go inside.

“Hello?”

Nothing. I make my way to the back, to the kitchen. Just around the corner, I see him. Luke. Laying there naked on the kitchen floor. Bloody. His face is young, gorgeous. And his dick is rock hard. Bobbing. And what looked like tattoos before are actually bruises. All over his body. Like little storms. I lean down and I shake him. he comes to.

LUKE: [Inhales]

DANE: his eyes widen when he sees my face. He looks down at his bare chest and fingers the red pooling in his collarbone.

“Hey. Hey, don’t worry, it looks a lot worse than it is.”

LUKE: “Great. Take a picture.”

DANE: He hands me his phone and I reach out to take it but we both just hold onto it and stare at each other. And my stomach feels weird like it wants to crawl out of my mouth. But in a good way?

SONG:

That sound could be the sound of laughing

Not the cold October wind

Maybe this feeling is the beginning

And not the end

And this cold autumn day could be the first day of spring

Any moment the songbirds could start

And I could find someone beside me

In the dark

In the dark

[CREDITS]

[madamlaydebug]

History has talked about the Mer-Ka-Ba mostly as the vehicle that allows a person to ascend or descend into the higher or lower worlds. But actually the Mer-Ka-Ba is much more than just a vehicle of ascension. It can be, really, anything — since it is the primal pattern that created all things and all universes, both visible and invisible (see The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life, volumes I & II).

In the Bible there is reference to Ezekiel and the wheels by which Ezekiel ascended into heaven.[3] This was the Mer-ka-Ba.

In the Torah, there is reference to the Merkavah (as it is spelled in Hebrew) which has two different meanings: One meaning is ''chariot,'' which is a vehicle; the other is the ''Throne of God.'' When the two definitions are combined, the true meaning comes to life.

In Ancient Egypt, this primal pattern was called the Mer-Ka-Ba. It was actually three words, not one. Mer meant a kind of light that rotated within itself. Ka meant spirit, in this case referring to the human spirit. And Ba meant the human body — though it also could mean the concept of Reality that spirit holds. And so the entire word in ancient Egypt referred to a rotating light that would take the spirit and the body from one world into another.

I once spent a couple of hours with Credo Mutwa, the spiritual leader of the Zulu tribe in Africa. He explained to me that Merkaba (one word) was a Zulu word meaning a space/time/dimension vehicle. He told me that according to Zulu legend his entire tribe had come from another dimension here to Earth using the Merkaba.

In the modern world there are teachers worldwide — and I am one of them — who are helping people remember the Mer-Ka-Ba. Thus begin a process in consciousness that will eventually translate us from the third-dimensional world into the next higher one through what is being called ''ascension.''

Ascension involves a process where the human body is transformed into light and translated by an incredible birth into a new world. It is achieved through a meditation that requires the mind, heart, body, and spirit to completely integrate in one pattern of light and transcend the human limitations of this reality.

This concept of the Mer-Ka-Ba as an ascension vehicle is not new. It is very, very old.

mer-ka-ba

What actually is the Mer-Ka-Ba? Technically, it is an electro-magnetic field sitting at about four degrees Kelvin, found primarily within the microwave range — at least in the third dimension — that is entirely geometric in nature. Specifically, the geometry used is called ''Sacred Geometry,'' as this particular geometry is found in the creation patterns of all things in Creation.

merkaba geometry The Mer-Ka-Ba field is extremely complex, involving the five Platonic solids and other sacred polyhedrons. It is believed to extend through all possible dimensional and parallel universes, and can possibly change its nature from electro-magnetic to whatever is appropriate.

The blueprint of the Mer-Ka-Ba is found throughout nature, such as in this photo of a galaxy.

One of the functions of the Mer-Ka-Ba, as we said, is to act as the vehicle to take the spirit and the body into the next world. However, this function — and most of the other possibilities — is impossible to obtain until something changes within the person. Sombrero galaxyThe Mer-Ka-Ba is situated around the human body like a three-dimensional geometric web that is dormant and nonfunctional, waiting for the right moment. When the spirit that inhabits the body remembers that it is there and begins to change certain aspects of itself, an incredible transformation begins to grow.

It was believed in ancient times, and even written about by the Hebrews,[2], that the Merkavah could be turned on by certain principles in meditation. This involves breathing changes, and mind, heart, and body changes that alter the way a person perceives the Reality. From my perspective, it is the beginning of ''Enlightenment.''

And yet it is clear that the Mer-Ka-Ba can also be ''activated,'' as the New Agers say, by other methods beside the male-style instructions using the breathing changes mentioned above. It can also become functional through methods that are purely female. Through the true living of qualities such as love, faith, trust, truth, and compassion, the Mer-Ka-Ba can spontaneously become alive. In other words, very pure human character can translate into a living Mer-Ka-Ba field around the person, even if that person doesn't initially know it is there.

And yes, absolutely, the Mer-Ka-Ba is alive. It is a living field, not a purely mechanical field of energy. Because it is a living field, it responds to human thought and feeling, which is the way to connect to the field. So the ''computer'' that guides the Mer-Ka-Ba is the human mind and heart. The possibilities are endless.

At a certain and specific moment (not necessarily in this lifetime), a person's Mer-Ka-Ba field can become alive. When this happens, an electro-magnetic change occurs which results in a disc of energy that comes out from a tiny place near the base of the spine and quickly expands to about 27 to 30 feet in radius around the body. This disc can easily be perceived by scientific means, and if the United States Airforce is correct it can be put up on their computer screens via satellite. In other words, the military can see people who activate their Mer-Ka-Bas, and watch as they move around the surface of the Earth.

Since the number of people who have done this is now in the millions, it is a fairly common sight now. It is the enormous magnetic burst that results from the disc expanding that brings attention to itself. This can easily be made invisible by people who activate their Mer-ka-Bas, if they so desire.

The knowledge of the Mer-Ka-Ba is well known by most of the more powerful governments of the world. I am certain that our government used the Mer-Ka-Ba in the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment and the 1983 Montoc Experiments — in their mind-control experiments and dimensional explorations, and in controlling weather. And I am equally certain that Russia is using the Mer-Ka-Ba in their spy programs and defense systems.

But regardless of government experimentation, Mother Earth, the human race, and we as individuals can profit from this understanding and knowledge. The remembering of the Mer-Ka-Ba is unfolding all over the world. From my point of view, this unfoldment is all part of the evolving cosmic DNA. The Mer-Ka-Ba will be remembered now because this is the time to remember.

Yes, I believe, as did almost all the ancient civilizations, that there are specific moments in the history of mankind where great jumps in human understanding take place, as in the ancient Sumerian, Egyptian, and Indus Valley civilizations.[3]

I truly feel that we have arrived at another one of these grand moments of human history where brilliant light expands around the world, and another huge leap in human consciousness appears. And, my friends, I truly believe, from my own personal experience, that the Mer-Ka-Ba is a doorway or a dimensional window into a higher level of consciousness that could be the catalyst for this great change called ascension.

So, to close, I will say again: Your character is the key to your ascension. Regardless of who you are at this moment, good or bad, you can change your character. Like losing weight, it is completely within your control if you focus.

In changing yourself, your Mer-Ka-Ba can become alive. And once it is alive, everything is possible.

[reddogstarsystem1111]

The knowledge of the Mer-Ka-Ba is well known by most of the more powerful governments of the world. I am certain that our government used the Mer-Ka-Ba in the 1943 Philadelphia Experiment and the 1983 Montoc Experiments — in their mind-control experiments and dimensional explorations, and in controlling weather. And I am equally certain that Russia is using the Mer-Ka-Ba in their spy programs and defense systems.