#mommy issues hit hard for her lol

[evolnoomym]

Washing Machine Heart 🩶

Mom’s Best-friend!Joel Miller x f!reader

Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: Your Mom is not nice to you, her only Daughter, always picking on you whenever she can. To get back at her you decide to seduce and fuck her Highschool Best-friend Joel Miller. Oh she also has a crush on him so that’s a bonus.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: no use of y/n, female reader, implied abuse, childhood trauma, alcohol, smut, reader has no name only nicknames, size difference, age gap, readers age is mentioned and Joel is more than double sooo, mommy issues, strained relationships, petty shit, cream pie, tittys, choking kind of, teasing, Joel is tiny bit Pervy, of course Daddy kink, unprotected p in v,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: I was mad so this is what I cooked up lol

Shoutout to @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is my first time writing smut sooooo be nice please. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. 🖤

Song’s I listened to while writing:

I Hate My Mom by GRLwood

Class of 2013 by Mitski

I hope ur miserable until ur dead by Nessa Barrett

Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA

Backstabber by Kesha

Jerk by Oliver Tree

You know exactly when the relationship between you and your mother started deteriorating- The day she decided to choose your loser Stepdad, the one she only dated for 4 years, over her own 8 year old daughter. From then on you took a backseat in her life yet she still expected you to take care of her all needs. You hate her for what she did and you miss her like a little kid. You had to drag her home when she drank too much, you can’t even remember how often that happened. Always having to jump in between that asshole and her fighting cuz even though she practically emotionally abandoned you, you still wanted to protect her from harm's way. She forced you to grow up so quickly, it’s her fault you never got a real childhood.

For years you accepted that this is normal. The screaming, the violence and the degrading words became a part of growing up. You were a kid but not clueless, someone who loves you wouldn’t have done all of this. And yet all of them tried so hard to make you shut up and believe it’s what you deserved.

Luckily what happened did not entirely break you. No, you grew into someone who fought for herself since no one ever did that.

Of course you hoped she might realize her mistakes, apologize and change but nothings new with her. She’s great at pretending to be a better person to the outside world, than she is in reality, behind closed doors the mask unveils an ugly woman. A narcissistic self absorbed monster that took all your joy away.

It’s pathetic considering how much she always talks about getting abused by her own father but instead of breaking the cycle she doubled down on it. Going as far as using that as an excuse for what she did to her own child.

She only kinda stopped the abuse once you no longer were a small child. Now that you could fight back she did not corner you anymore.

But just because she couldn’t hit you anymore doesn’t mean the picking on you stopped, no, it was her mission to rid you of the last remaining confidence and self love.

In each screaming match she tried so hard to gaslight you into believing you were crazy for feeling offended by her disgusting behavior.

One time you asked why she hit you as a little kid and the answer left you completely blown away. She expressed that you cried so much, and did it to provoke her. What else could she have possibly done other than raise her hand?

Or another time she refused to acknowledge that she hit you at all but a second later told you that perhaps if she would’ve done worse you would’ve turned out better.

At some point you stopped calling her Mom and only went with her name. You knew that it must hurt but did she really deserve that title after everything she did?

Now at 21 years old the relationship is just as rocky, not much has changed.

Your mom has basically zero friends, she’s a bitch of course no one would want to be too close, well except for Joel…..Joel Miller that somehow was her friend.

Perhaps only since they have known each other since High School, he might have felt some kind of obligation towards her due to that. She told you once that Joel was the boy every girl had a crush on with his whole guitar playing thing they all swooned over him.

Even now all those years later Joel was a beautiful specimen, tall, broad shoulders, huge hands, strong arms you’d like to be enveloped by, tanned freckled skin, a cute butt, gorgeous brown curls with slightly gray streaks showing his age, big brown eyes, a prominent nose and soft pillow like lips.

You understand why your Mom had a crush on him, any woman would bend over for him if he’d say so. She thought it was not too noticeable but unlike Joel you caught it immediately.

She made you the reason for her life being so shitty but now after years of torment you saw a chance at really giving her a reason to hate you. Maybe something is wrong with you for liking the idea of breaking her heart so much but you honestly couldn’t care less. The one you felt sorry for most was probably Joel; he would be the pawn in your deranged game without knowing.

As it turns out though Joel is not as innocent as expected, the more you tried to get closer the more you realized he might be easier to seduce than originally anticipated.

You started with small things like hugging him a bit longer than normally so he could feel you perky full tits squished against his chest. Touching his arms and squeezing them but not too much as if to draw attention to it. And from his reactions, he did not seem to mind.

You were not worried about your mother, she never was the most alert to begin with.

When Joel came over for a barbecue you used the time alone with him in the garden while your mother was in the kitchen preparing god knows what to impress him.

Joel and you had some interesting conversations.

“Soooo you work in contracting, right?” You asked him sweetly. Joel chuckled “Yeah sweetheart, I do. But ya know tha’ already, so why ask?” You played it off as much as you could “Just making sure you didn't decide to switch career paths in the time I haven’t seen you…” you look up at him through your lashes, cheekily biting your lip. Joel of course fell into the trap, his eyes going down to your plush lips in mere seconds. Got ya you dirty old men.

You stepped closer until you two were only a couple inches apart. His chest almost touched yours. In this position you really had to Crane your neck up to keep eye contact consistent.

“What are ya doing Baby,huh?” Joel tilted his head slightly down towards your face. You just giggled at him “Nothin Joel, just…” with that you put your hands on his wide chest ruining them down over his enticing slightly protruding belly. “I know you stare at my ass alllllll the time. I also know you like it when I walk close by you and graze you with my tits. My little skimpy outfits turn you on as well don’t they,huh Joel?” You smirk at him.

You can see how he clenches his jaw…ohhh yes you got him figured out.

He hisses low and menacing at you “You are a little slut ain’t ya, baby. Groping a man over double your age. Teasin me with those sugar tits and that tight lil ass….”

You can see his pupils dilate till his eyes look close to being completely blacked out. You muse “Yeah I’m a whore but you like that don’t you?” With that you cup his hard cock over his shorts he decided to wear today.

He gasps and immediately grips your wrist to yank those devilish hands away from his throbbing length. Especially when he hears your mother’s voice calling out from inside the house.

He backs off and tries to catch his breath as well as calm his raging hard on down to an unnoticeable minimum. Before he leaves to figure out what she called for he turns to you and lifts an accusing finger towards you.

“We ain’t done baby, ya gonna make it up to me for teasin and leavin me all high and dry, mkay?” He tilts his head almost to intimidate you but to no avail you’re just a massive brat “Hmmm sure Joeliii but i think your underwear is anything but dry.” You giggle and continue “Probably full of pre cum am I right,huh?”

Joel can’t believe what he’s gotten himself into and just shakes his head while turning to the house.

Somehow he made it through the barbecue without your mother noticing any tension between Joel and you. Stupid of her but good for you.

In the weeks after that afternoon you and him kept secretly meeting up. Most of the time at his house or he’d pick you up with his truck to drive you somewhere where he could have you without any distractions, of course when your mom wasn’t home. She might be stupid but even to her it would be weird why you suddenly start taking trips with Joel and she should not be suspicious.

Also during the talks with Joel that happened when taking a break between fucking it was once again made clear that he for whatever reason had not an ounce of knowledge about your mom’s crush.

The plan for how the reveal should go was set in motion. Your mom was driving out to one of those weird grocery stores that sold the health powders she drowned herself in, in hopes of making her more pretty from the inside out but to no avail the rot can’t be reversed.

You knew how long that would take her, it gave you enough time to fuck Joel in her favorite spot on the couch. Yeah petty and perhaps childish but you don’t care make her remember how you defiled her lovely couch with the man she was in love with.

Joel showed up 10 minutes after she drove off. You barely got the door closed behind him before he pounced on you. It’s been a few weeks since you fucked him last, you wanted him to be desperate for it so he’ll might be more focused on pounding you then notice that your mother is returning.

He immediately slotted his lips over yours, his hands grabbing at your hips with urgency.

You spin with him attached to your lips so you can guide him where you want him, on the couch. His breathing is already elevated and by the significantly evident bulge he’s massively turned on. Good, the less rational thinking the better.

While you push him towards the couch his lips slip down your jaw and land on your throat kissing and sucking all over. Between those kisses he huffs “Babyyy - I’ve - missed - ya so - much…” you just hum as an answer and when the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch he’s forced to unlatch from you.

He falls back, his head hitting the soft pillows so he’s only slightly elevated. You wink at him “yeah I bet you have and most of all He has missed me huh? Looks almost painful, did you not touch yourself in meantime?”

He sounds a bit whiny in his response “No Baby haven’t touched myself, saved it all for ya greedy little pussy.” Even when you think to have the upper hand he reminds you how different it actually is. “Come on baby, why don’t ya take of that lil skirt an’ take seat on my lap.” While grabbing at his crotch.

Your mouth is watering but there’s no time today to get your mouth on him like you usually love to. At his dirty words you can feel some wetness gush from your pulsing cunt, coating the inside of your thighs. As requested you slip your flowy skirt down your legs.

Joel let's out a gasp „No panties baby? Ya naughty little slut.“ he chuckles and you retort „Don’t need them if I’m with you, so why make it harder than it needs to be?“ at that Joel can only nod.

„Come here Sweet Moon Love.“ he demands.

You get on your hands and knees between his spread legs that lay on the couch. Slowly crawling towards him teasing him with your tits that are almost spilling out of your skimpy tank top.

When you finally sit down on his jeans-covered cock he lets out a sound of relief. Your knees on either side of his hips and his hands immediately find home on your hips and ass, kneading and caressing the skin there.

„Fuck Moon ya turn me on so much take of that goddamn top and show me those sweet sugar tits.“

So you do, slipping it over your head and throwing it somewhere behind you. He’s not surprised by the lack of a bra. He knows you hate wearing them and if he’s honest he loves that a lot, easier access and all.

Joel’s hands go from your hips up to the tits he loves so much. Carefully touching them, his warm hands and the wonderful feeling making it unable not to moan. Swiping his calloused fingers over your nipples, twisting them with determination causing you to keen.

You start arching your back towards his groping hands. His administrations cause the pull in your lower stomach to Continuously get stronger. You are convinced his jeans are covered in your juices and without realizing you’ve started to rub your bare pussy over his bulge with vigor.

„Joel enough I need you inside me, now!“ You don’t even wait for a response, lifting your hips and loosening his belt and unbuttoning the buttons of his jeans. With his help you drag his pants down but only so much that you are able to pull his throbbing cock out of the confines that are his blue boxers and you can see a huge dark spot where pre cum leaked, making you look at Joel chuckling „You really want it huh? Daddy” with a sweet lilt that makes his dick Twitch in your hands.

He just groans “Baby Moon if ya don’t sit down on my cock right now I’ll do it myself and I won’t give ya time to adjust.” He threatens but it really only turns you on more.

You peer up at the clock and see that you only have about 15 minutes left.

You take your original position and when his warm length slips through your moist folds his pre cum mixing with your own juices to create an addicting squelching sound.

At this point the dark hair nestling at the base of his cock and his happy trail are completely soaked.

“Gosh, Sweetheart she’s gushing all over me, put it in. She wants my cock don’t keep her waitin” you love when he talks in this way about your cunt, makes you wetter if that’s even possible.

You lift up a bit again and take hold of his length with one hand, the other on his chest to stabilize yourself. Dragging his leaking head through your glossy folds before lining him up with your gushing opening. You take one deep inhale cuz you know it’ll be a stretch even with how often you've done this.

Before sinking down on him you look at him there’s guilt somewhere deep in your conscience but you shake your head, you ain’t backing out now.

You slowly start to sink down when Joel decides it’s not quick enough so he grips your hips and in one swift fast motion sheets his huge dick inside your tight cunt.

“Ahhh..-ah J-Joel what the fuck” you hiss slapping his chest hard for being so impatient.

He huffs “Sorry Baby but Daddy has waited long enough for Her, just shush.” He actually has the audacity to shush you.

You get used to the feeling of being so filled to the brim and slide back & forth for a moment.

Then you put your feet down flat on the couch and grip the headrest behind him before starting to fuck him in earnest. Up and down at first slowly but steadily you get quicker and harder. Joel can’t even speak unless you count his obnoxiously loud moaning and growling.

“Yeah how you like that old man, hmm Daddy you're all quiet this pussy shut you up good, huh?” You wonder and out of nowhere one of Joel’s big hands grips your throat making you slow your movements to a minimum. He pulls your face toward his and grunts “Baby Moon ya need to be put in your place, ya bratty ass is treading on some mighty thin ice.”

He gives you one hard peck and then shoves your face in his neck. You don’t complain, you love when he’s so rough with you and his musky masculine smell is your favorite.

Joel pulls his legs up and plants his feet on the couch just like you did and then he starts to relentlessly push up into you at an alarming speed so hard that if it weren’t for the arm pinning you to his chest you’d fall off.

“Jo-Joel….Joel it’s so good ah…don’t stop” you babble in his ear and opposite to his harsh pounding he soothes “Shhh Baby I know, I know it’s so much for ya and Her. But listen to how much she’s enjoying it.”

And he’s right besides the obscene “plap, plap, plap” of skin hitting skin you can hear the wet squelching from the place you're both connected. “I’m close baby, where?” He asks while slipping a hand between your bodies to touch your neglected clit and immediately your whiny moans get even louder “I-in…inside Daddy. Pleaseee cum inside me.”

You beg and he loves that “Hmm yeah, ya wanna be filled up Baby?” He questions “God yes Daddy fill me up, please pleasee” you want nothing more than to feel him spill inside of you.

Seems that when Joel told you he was kinda deaf in his right ear it wasn’t a lie or maybe the plan of making him so desperate to fuck you that he won’t hear the door unlocking worked out.

But you can hear the slight clicking and the closing of the door. Unlike what you expect she does not start screaming, no, she’s eerily quiet. Perhaps it’s due to not having realized who exactly you're screwing as if there’s no tomorrow or simple shock.

Joel under you seems to have reached his end and without any preamble he starts shooting his warm cum deep inside your tight hole. The warm sensation combined with his unrelenting rubbing your clit pushes you over the finish line too. With that you pull up from his neck and drag him up as well, crossing your arms around his neck and kissing him.

You know she is right there at the threshold, you don’t care and to rub it in even more you say “Thank you Daddy, I love you.” And as if he knows his role Joel answers “I love you too little Moon.”

And that might have been the final straw, she speaks up and it flips out into incoherent screaming. Joel is immediately startled; he lightly pushes you off, quickly tugging himself back into his jeans and getting up to explain. You however get up slowly and put your top and skirt back on.

With the lack of panties you can feel his spend leaking out of you and you’re sure there’s very evident stains on Joel’s jeans that your mother must see.

The back and forth they must be having doesn’t even register to you. The blissful buzzing from the orgasm and the satisfaction of having succeeded in hurting her are making you all dozzy.

But then she comes charging at you screaming in your face “You’re smiling, you think this is funny??? I knew you were a bitch who only ruins everything, you are a worthless piece of shit a absolute waste of space” she’s so hysterical but you don’t care, it’s good she’s showing her true colors for Joel to see.

She continues “You are disgraceful and shameful for the entire family. I want you out of the house now. You are dead to me.” She probably thinks those words could hurt but it’s nothing compared to all the horrible things she did in the past. You just smirk at her nodding which infuriates her more than any comeback could.

With that you slip past her, Joel looks completely stunned by what just unfolded before his eyes. You don’t acknowledge him much, quickly skipping up the stairs,entering your room, grabbing a suitcase and filling it with the most important items. Then shuffling out of your room locking it behind you. You heave the suitcase down the stairs, no sign of Joel all you can hear is her crying in the living room, it amuses you, not an ounce of sympathy left for her. You don’t bother saying bye just open the front door and out you are.

The surprise is waiting in front of the house, Joel, he didn’t leave but instead waited for you.

He looks at you “Did it mean anything to you at all, or was it just a big joke?” He doesn’t look hurt, just confused. You close the distance between him and you “I wish it wouldn’t but it’s not possible to not feel anything, look at you Joel you’re a so beautiful so caring of course I fell for you.” He nods and takes your suitcase out of your hand. “Wh..what are you doing ?” You question “I’m taking ya home Moon, think I’d let you run around these streets? Get in the car” he urges.

And you do, when he drives off you don’t look back once.

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @sizzlingcloudmentality @the-mandawhor1an @clawdee @penvisions 🩶

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[jade-jini]

soft dom kazuha hehehehe wheeeeeeeen jade 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

(My baby Zuha is so gentle, almost makes me doubt she can dom sometimes)

tw: idk if it counts as ed, there’s a little part where reader ain’t big on eating but Zuha helps her with it. Just putting it here in case.

I think dom Zuha is big on praising and encouraging. Both in and out of bed. Like you’d be on your desk, clearly stressing about work, and she’d walk behind you and stop to give you a hot drink, a little shoulder massage and also shake you a bit lol and goes all “you can do it let’s go!”, making you laugh at her silliness, and she’s just happy to do so, leaving a kiss on your face as she leaves you to continue your work.

Once you come back with good news about the work submitted, she’ll hug you and all you hear is “that’s my girl” “I’m so proud of you.” “I knew you could do it, you’re amazing”, etc :3

If you had a hard day tho, she’s rather a bit quiet, letting you talk as she cuddles you, just going “mhm” so you know she’s paying attention. She would try to come up with a way to fix whatever the problem is, as well as telling you that what you did was good, and that she’s sorry it didn’t go the way you wanted, sympathizing with you about the issue. Feeling heard actually helps, and the warm hugs and kisses your girlfriend gives you, as well as her sweet words in between, yeah. There’s no way you can be sad for a long time when you have her.

Gentle dominance! I personally believe Kazuha can look a little intimidating when she looks serious 😭 but let’s be honest she’s such a sweet thing ahhhh. She doesn’t threaten you with punishments or anything like that. Rather she will be kind when speaking to you, but it’s clear when she’s telling and not asking. You’ve gained better habits thanks to her though.

“I’m not hungry, Zuha.” You’d say, but your girlfriend knows you haven’t had anything that day, and it’s past lunch time. Kazuha looks at you with a calm expression, but her tone is different from the cute voice she uses with you sometimes.

“You are eating, don’t argue with me.” She says, and her voice sends shivers down your spine. “It’s for your own good, my love. Can’t spend the day like that. Be good and listen to mommy, yes?” She whispered this last part only for you to listen of course. “Here, at least try some of my soup if you’re not that hungry.” And how can you say no? Specially when she’s sweetly feeding you lol. With time, now it was you who’d ask what she’d like for lunch ‘cause you were hungry, and when you started doing this she felt so happy knowing you had a healthier meal schedule.

“Straight posture, darling.” She says with her hand on your back, and the moment you feel her touch you obey. Same could be told in bed.

You guys are in your shared room at night, her kisses making you drunk already as she takes your jacket and shirt off. Of course you help her too, almost drooling at the view of her abs even though you’ve seen them a thousand times. Kazuha loves the reaction you have when seeing her body, one of the several motivations she has to continue going to the gym. As you leave kisses on her torso, she opens the drawer of the little nightstand next to your bed, and gets one of your favorite toys, silently asking you. Excitement traveling your body, you nod and help her with the rest of her clothes, staying on your knees as she gets the strap on ready.

“Bend over for me, will ya?” She asks, and the moment you feel her touch (and the strap teasing your clit from behind) you obey:). Her hand on your lower back pushing you down. “Good girl.” The praise resonating in your brain and you need more. She knows this. “My pretty girl, so wet already. We just started.”

And as soft as she might sound, she sure knows how to fuck you hard. Grabbing your hips as she focus all her energy into creating the perfect pace. Deep. Fast. Anything that will hit those spots that get you drooling all over your pillow. As your moans get louder and turn into sobs, she stops and pulls you up by the hair, keeping you in place as she asks “You ok?” you wonder how can her voice sound so calm?? She barely lets you nod before continuing “ok good.” And there she goes again, pounding you so good until your legs burn.

“Zuha~ please… fuck!” You cried as she keeps hitting your favorite spot, tears going down your face because of the overwhelming pleasure “mommy, please.. right there, yes~”.

“There, my baby? Is my darling feeling a little too good? Look at you, you look so beautiful when I fuck you like this, princess.” showering you in compliments before, during, and after you come. You never can’t not feel loved and desired when is Kazuha making you hers like that.

Now wait. ‘Cause teasing. She’s BIG on teasing, it’ll always get a smile of a giggle out of her to see and hear your reactions. Specially in public. When she grabs your thigh and squeezes for no reason, a little gasp or even moan escaping your lips? That makes her laugh 😭 when she whispers dirty things in your ear in Japanese, knowing damn well you either didn’t understand or barely caught a few words. However her deep voice is enough to get you going, there’s just something about the way she sounds when speaking her mother tongue like that to you. Enough for desire to be written all over your face, and when you think she’s gonna take you somewhere private, she’s just holding her laugh as she walks away, making you groan in disappointment.

“Not fair, Zuha.” You tell her once you catch up with her, holding her arm. She simply laughs at you, and pats your head before kissing your forehead.

“Be good and I’ll give you anything you want at home, my baby.” She says and you know she means it, so you simply nod and hug her tight, getting wrapped in her arms as well to protect each other from the cold weather <3.

[alexblakeisgay]

Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object

Ship: Alex Blake/Reader

Summary: Your eagerness to please has met its match in Alex's determination to break you...

Word Count: 533

Author's Note: This fills the Begging square on my @cmkinkbingo2024 card. Y'all have no idea how hard it is to not force these to be longer lol

“You’re such a good girl for me,” Alex said as you knelt at her feet, eating her out. “Aren’t you, Princess?” With one hand, she held a tumbler of whisky, while the other one tangled in your hair, keeping you tongue deep in her cunt.

You didn’t bother replying, knew that what Alex wanted you to be doing with your mouth wasn’t speaking. Besides, you’d been given the privilege of servicing Alex fucking Miller and you weren’t about to risk disappointing her. (You’d always wanted to be used like this by a gorgeous older woman, so you were hardly going to complain now that you were...)

Alex kept waiting for you to tap out, to need to catch your breath, to get bored and impatient. What she didn’t account for, though, was just how badly you wanted to please her... Afterall, you were a milennial with mommy issues and a praise kink.

You proceeded to make her cum three times before she needed to tap out, her clit so sensitive it was almost painful. “A plus work, Princess,” she said breathlessly. “I think you’ve earned a little treat...” She gently tossed you aside. “On your hands and knees,” she ordered.

Once you’d assumed the requested position, she proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait. And you knew what she was waiting for... “Please, Daddy?” you begged. “Please please please?” You pouted, batting your lashes up at her in plea.

Finally, she indulged your pleas...by slapping her palm down on your cunt. Once. Twice. Over and over. “Fuck, you sound so pretty for me...” she purred. “Can you hear how wet you are?”

“Please,” you whined desperately, knowing you were never going to get close enough like this and also knowing she wanted to hear you beg. “I need you, Daddy!”

She landed a very precise smack to your clit, causing you to yelp. “Oh, that was such a pretty noise you made, baby,” she praised. “Do you like it when I do that?”

You nodded frantically.

“Does my baby want me to fuck her? Yeah?”

You nodded again.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” she said, sliding two fingers into you and began thrusting them. She knew exactly what she was doing, knew exactly how to work her fingers to coax every whimper and whine and moan past your lips. Knew how to have you begging and pleading and bargaining. “Are you going to cum for Daddy, Princess? You’re tightening around my fingers, I can barely move them...”

She milked not one, but three orgasms from you in quick succession, in retribution for making her cum earlier.

“No more,” you whined, “Daddy, please...”

She chuckled. “Beg me to stop,” she said, never letting up her demanding pace.

You gave a petulant little huff. “Daddy, I can’t,” you begged. In spite of the verbal plea, your hips continued chasing her hand. “Daddy, it’s too much.” Your voice warbled as she hit the sweet spot inside you.

“You’re getting close, hmm?” she said, knowing how desperate you were. “Do you want to cum for me?”

You nodded, desperate for her to let you rest.

She had absolutely no intention of letting you do that, though...

[merakiui]

pretending genshin is a canon game in twst, who do u think idia (or lilia, and maybe cater bc u cant tell me he doesn't play mobile games) would main? and do u think there'd be any characters he hates either based off their element, personality, or just their lore 💀

Omg omg I have been wanting to talk about this sort of concept recently, so thank you for the ask aaaaaa!!! Let's pretend that everyone in NRC is playing the hit mobile game Genshin Impact (so I can write about who everyone mains hehe)!!!!

Riddle mains one of the starter characters, whether Traveler, Kaeya, Amber, or Lisa because he rarely pulls, so as a result he's built the main four. But I think he'd save for Cyno reruns because Cyno administers justice in accordance with the law and Riddle's pleased to see a character so dedicated to upholding order and justice. He might also like Raiden Shogun because she's a tyrannical strict leader like him and somehow he relates, but then he learns she abandoned her creation and Scaramouche's mommy issues hit a little too close to home for him, so he's not sure if he likes her all that much anymore. He also likes Yanfei because of her ties to the law as well!

Trey mains Jean. When he co-ops with Heartslabyul, he's usually stuck playing a healer. Not that it bothers him, mind you! He enjoys it because he can be a tease and only heal when a select few (Ace and Deuce) are within an inch of their lives lol.

Ace mains Childe, but he sucks at aiming and so he usually relies on Childe's water blades. He likes to join Deuce's world under the guise of helping when in reality he's stealing materials. He's the type who skips all of the dialogue and story.

Deuce mains Heizou and he does play for the story! He likes it a lot, and he really likes Heizou's character and how he's a detective. He is terrified of the Raiden Shogun. 100% was screaming in terror during her battle when she locks your skills because his Traveler is not the best built. >_<

Cater either mains Mona because astrology besties stick together and he loves her aesthetic or he mains Xinyan because he loves the punk-rock vibe she has, both in design but also it's her passion! I think he's also a secret Xiao main, but he doesn't tell anyone about it.

Leona mains Dehya!!!!! He does not care what anyone says about her. Radish Sprout can stick his meta talk elsewhere because Leona isn't listening! He thinks Dehya is super cool and badass. Just to prove everyone wrong, he makes sure to build his Dehya to be the utmost strongest. He doesn't pay the closest attention to the story, but he will admit there are some cutscenes that really do have him fully awake because of how cool they are. (He makes Ruggie play the story for him and do most of the exploring in his world to unlock teleports and domains.)

Ruggie mains one of the starter characters because there is no way he's spending his hard-earned money on pixels. He's entirely free to play, but when he gets to play on Leona's account he has lots of fun using all of the characters Leona has and perhaps even spending a little of Leona's Madol to wish on the banners. As a result, Leona has an unbuilt Cyno, Yae Miko, Eula, and Qiqi (he lost the 50/50 at some point).

Jack either mains Gorou, Albedo, or Noelle. I think he just really likes Geo the most, so it's his preferred element in a character. His characters are reasonably built (they're all better than Ace's builds, that's for sure). He doesn't play Genshin very often, though, so he's a little behind in the story.

Azul mains Yelan, Ayato, Dori, and Ningguang. He plays for the story and the collecting characters aspect. He's greedy, so he wants every character, but he's too prideful to whale. So he saves hoards primogems and uses them when he really wants a character or constellations. Somehow he's yet to lose a 50/50, much to Idia's annoyance.

Jade mains Kokomi. Yes, her crit rate and crit damage are absolutely insane. Yes, his Kokomi solos with wild damage. Yes, it's scary that Jade mains a healer who he's made into a DPS and never puts the jellyfish down when he plays with Azul and Floyd until the very last minute (though mostly he lets them die so he can smile innocently and say, "Oops. I must have missed the button.") He was really disappointed when Kokomi didn't turn out to be a merciless, villainous scheming tactician. In his heart, she is. :(

Floyd mains Wanderer, but it's only because he likes flying around like a little mosquito all the time. He does not care about the lore. He does not care about the story. He does not care about Wanderer's past. He is skipping the dialogue because he only wants to fight enemies and bosses. :/ he likes joining Azul and Jade's worlds at the most inconvenient times just to fly around as Wanderer while they're stuck in a cutscene LOL.

Kalim mains Nilou, Yoimiya, Itto, and Venti! He likes these characters because they all have such lovely, fun energy. He loves the story (he cried during some parts) and he loves every character and their designs and lore! He is a whale because he's weak to the pretty characters with their interesting stories, but he hasn't had time to properly build all of them. Kalim builds his characters based off of what he feels is right. Idia took one look at his account and died when he saw the builds. T_T

Jamil mains Sara or Zhongli! I think he might also be a secret Yae Miko main, but he doesn't tell everyone what characters he has or how strong they are. He rarely co-ops, instead choosing to stick to himself and enjoy the game in peace, but Kalim's always requesting to join his world and he can't possibly turn him down. T_T begrudgingly, Jamil lets him in, but his ego is boosted considerably when he's the one carrying Kalim during co-op. Genshin is one of the few games where Jamil actually beats Kalim in terms of character strengths and builds and he is very proud of that.

Vil mains Yelan, Eula, and Rosaria because he likes their fashion styles (Yelan's fur coat is the moment). He's a casual player, so he's not very far in the story and he returns to it if and when the motivation to play strikes him. Still, he will admit it's a very beautiful game.

Rook mains all bow characters, but his favorite is Tighnari. He loves to say he's playing both an animal of prey and a predator when he's out killing enemies with Tighnari in the open world or if he's just shooting down birds from the sky. Even in a game, his aim is precise and perfect. It's actually a little scary...

Epel mains Razor, Diluc, and Heizou. He loves punching things with Heizou. It's a lot of fun, and there's something about Heizou that gives him a confidence boost. Maybe it's because Heizou is short and cute-looking like him, yet here he is beating people up with his fists. Epel has a lot of fun with that type of play style!

Idia has every character. Do not try to talk to him about builds because his are by far the best and strongest. He has his favorite five stars at c6, which includes Keqing, Xiao, Ganyu, Kazuha, Shenhe, Raiden Shogun, and Zhongli. He's on a mission to collect all of the Archons and all of the Harbingers. He is so invested in the story and lore, but he didn't like how Inazuma was written. He mourned for days when Signora was killed because he was looking forward to her being playable. :( he does not understand the hype around Scaramouche; yes, he is a hater like that. </3 but he will admit Scaramouche's boss theme and the boss design itself goes unbelievably hard. A certified banger.

Ortho mains Sucrose! He likes that she's interested in a field of science much like his brother. Ortho likes all of the characters who are connected to science in some way (like Albedo and Tighnari). He also finds Wanderer's backstory really interesting and, on some level, relatable (at least in terms of not being fully human).

Malleus mains Shenhe because he relates to her being misunderstood (and lonely) and he also finds her backstory to be very riveting. He is also drawn to Zhongli because of how wise he is. Malleus could listen to Zhongli drone on and on about Liyue history because he finds it really captivating! His builds aren't the best, though, and he's not very good at fighting, but he loves the storyline.

Lilia mains Hu Tao. He loves her lore and also her design. He finds all of her morbid jokes incredibly fun, and he loves the contrast between upbeat personality with the funeral director job. The Inazuma arc reminded him of his days as a war general. He was very disappointed when Kokomi accepted help from that "anonymous benefactor." Tsk, tsk. Now look what that has cost you. >_<

Sebek mains whoever Lord Malleus mains because he trusts his lord's discerning eye when it comes to choosing characters. He won't admit it to anyone, but he is actually highly invested in the plot. Sebek will wither away before he tells anyone, though. He's only playing because Malleus is (or so he continues to say, but he does enjoy the game when he plays it on occasion).

Silver mains Ganyu. He relates to her tendency to doze off, for he is guilty of the same thing. He can't play Genshin for too long because he usually falls asleep while playing, so it can get difficult to sit through Archon quests. But he does his best because Lilia recommended the game and he wants to understand it a little more.

[helpallthenamesaretakensblog]

EPISODE 5……..🥺

Right off the bat, i love the idea of percy’s forehead peeking out of the water, like the mysterious mermaid he is

Annabeth was the best part of the episode as always

Thought they were gonna talk more about thalia percy parallels grover just looked a lil tad distressed and that was it but whatever

Percy and his lil ‘hi’s will never stop being funny

the usual “i thought annabeth was gonna punch me but she was actually nice to me guys who would’ve thought someone would be happy to see me” narrative still shining through WITH THE HUG PLS CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET THE HUG WAS

grover’s so confused like “literally an hour ago you guys hated each other….am i missing out on some plot point”

dude was ‘looking for new tickets in the st. Louis arch as if they were going to be on the floor lying somewhere💀

Percy’s face when he addresses grover after the hug, he’s so proud someone actually hugged him 🥹his face is just like “hey grover look SHE’S HUGGING ME🥺”

Can I just say the writing for percy is perfect

like he’s so 50% there like he’s so good at communicating and asking what’s wrong and trying to understand the other person’s feelings (sally jackson’s son for you) but at the same time he has NEVER had a friend before so he ends up embarrassing himself 😂😭

”im pretty sure that’s what friends do” “….at least i think that’s what they do” pls 😭

grover’s face too help you’re already tired of being third wheel???oh honey this is THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIRST BOOK get comfortable

not their lil heads popping out and going back in. Peak comedy right there

Seriously adam did reallyyyyyy good as ares. Theres no one else i can imagine anymore as ares. The delicateness of his ‘good mood’ as if it is gonna break any second, the rage and fury but at the same time being extremely funny???

the diner looks so cosy it’s so cute

was kinda missing some percy rage in this but it comes out at the last so its fine

The real reason for grover to be so okay staying back is not the strategy of getting answers out of ares but because of how tired he was of taking care of annabeth and percy.

I feel like they should be showing luke more (later on they will, i have faith) im already forgetting about him it wont hit as hard if i dont remember him

Percy “ive not seen many movies since im broke” jackson x annabeth “ive never seen a movie since i live in a magical camp” chase

but the fact that annabeth’s never seen a movie kinda erases the fact that later on in hoo, annabeth talks about watching cheesy old romance movies with her father which kinda contributes to their dynamic but

the fact that percy would probably be the first one to take her to the movies makes me not care

honestly tho IM REALLY REALLY HOPING THAT THEIR FIRST MOVIE WONT BE THE ONE AT THE START OF BOTL I’d rage as much as annabeth when i see percy with rachel (not that im a rachel hater, im a circumstances hater)

grover is such a good therapist, like he is THE EMPATH. He tripped the god of war into talking about his life this is a grover appreciation post

annabeth zoning out with fascination at the mechanics and also i love the “percy being done with annabeth” representation

i cant see anything so nothing to say here

SEAWEED BRAIN THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT IN PJOTV HISTORY THE FIRST SEAWEED-

grover manipulating ares through his emotions>>>>>

also ares roasting athena

Percy sacrificing himself AGAIN like the depressed kid he is

annabeth immediately reassuring percy that she would save his mom the character developmentttttttt from being inconsiderate about percy losing his mom to promising that she would save the lady EVEN THOUGH SHE BARELY KNEW HER

This is giving me too many feelings guys the lady she’s promising to save is the lady who will be the best mother figure who will singlehandedly heal her mommy issues AND BECOME HER MOTHER IN LAW

“Its warm” i thought this was gonna be the last thing he says before whatever was gonna happen to him so i was like lol famous last words

but fr tho the intenseness of annabeth crying for percy to GET UP and percy’s just fading out of the world trying not to cry trying to reassure annabeth that he’s okay IN WHAT WOULD BE HIS LAST FEW WORDS, literally everything he does is for someone else even in his dying moments its just magelhi”gdsjihoawerhoudfjls

especially with the “im not…..” [okay] lol we have always known that percy, it aint a big surprise

i got to applaud leah for how she portrayed annabeth’s brain chemistry altering every minute with percy and how that influenced her speech with hephaestus

i cant believe thats leo’s dad hes giving santa claus i do like him tho

Now that i think about it the percabeth hug should have been after percy comes back to life not after the louis arch scene since they were just starting to have two minutes of chemistry there and have the “you dont have to feel bad about the hug” in the zebra truck scene

percy trying to intimidate ares lolllll walker scobell did his best to make it look real tho so good for him for not representing it as it was; a lil 12 year old child threatening a wrestler looking god of war

”Thanks for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers” will forever be in the cinema hall of fame

i feel like grover either is going to say the wrong person or he’s going to figure out it’s luke but something’s going to stop him from saying it out loud

or he’ll say it which causes some angst amongst the team who dont trust him cuz both annabeth and percy worship luke like there’s no tomorrow

RAINBOW?? OHH THEYRE GONNA IRIS MESSAGE LUKE??

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

[wanderingpages]

Noooo chapter 5😪😪😪😪 we’re coming to a close, fellas. I cannot… and yet. I can. We move forward my sisters in god

Oh…not him spending winter break with her…in the same house… as their parents…with all this…tension…. (Ive seen this [adult] movie before)

Aww he holds the door open for her… helps her take off her socks…walks her to class/.., it really is the little things. His actions… Peach said show dont tell 😮‍💨❤️

Not Cardan being fluent enough in french to have La Chute in its original publishing bye thats so hot of him and dare i say,..timothee chalamet core…. @iknowitwontwork wya (This is rockstar anon btw i am on medication (dont worry abt it peach this a little inside comradery bby)) anyways have i mentioned you write and its like a movie?

““Is it your favorite?” I ask. I wiggle my brows, “Do you think you, too, have fallen from grace?”” – first, not babygirl being versed in Camus 😛 secondly, ohhohoo i love all the biblical references 

“His smile is Cheshire in response, “Since the day I met you, little sister.”” - u know what…. At least he honest, like its really now hitting me that hes soooooooo honest about it. Playing  a little game as jude said when he was leaving her dorm after the party… like its a game but an honest one. Like am i crazy or is he just trying to see how far he can provoke her w their situation and honesty? 

Omg wait not him CLOCKING HER the very next paragraph  (By the way i feel like u should know, i have the chapter open on one half of my split screen and the other half is your ask box lol i am literally typing as i go like this is the wattpad comments section fr)

i feel so smart and validated that cardan literally says all of that ^^^ like wow i should have held my tongue (fingers) and read the next paragraph lmao

ALSO BAD THING SBY CULT DIDNT I LITERALLY SAY SHE KNOWS DOT MP3 BEFORE???? 

I like that his jewelry comes up frequently because its part of him, just like her knuckles come up cus its part of her fr like both of them are so natural abt it too like her playing w his chain and him rubbing her fingers like ugjhhfh SHOW DONT TELL IS SO IMPORTANT

Whoaaa not him clocking ASHA now!! Not jude saying her mamma dead or alive she dont really care, RESPECT 

Wait not him pulling up to the gas station to get a first aid kit….like he really doesnt say a word about it at allllllll

And jude said oh, more time alone with him? In a diner? Count me in ❤️

Oh shit cardan has moneeeyyyyyy – “I guess, there really is a lot about him I had no idea of. “I'm an honorary member,” he shrugs, “It’s kind of hard not to be when Daddy funds their lifestyle.”” purrrrr

Oop!!! “ “Ghost is my best friend. It would have been a fight had it been Locke or anyone else,” he divulges, and though I shouldn't be startled by his honesty, it still makes me feel a little too warm. Then he admits, maybe selfishly considering his track record for the past few weeks, “If he had gone further, I would have buried him.”” HELLO

Lol jude got some balls to say ““That's a visceral reaction,” I come to terms with. “Your best friend?” I blush when I remind him quietly, “you’re the one who told me to open my mouth.”” cus like she right tho

Ahhh! I squeaked ! ““Plus, I think you look cute with a dick in your mouth.””

When hes a feminist 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 – ““What makes you think you have any right over my body?” / “I know I don't.””

Hold on hold on hold on wait a minut wait a minute hold on, when did cardan transition from little sister/dear sister to baby? It happened so naturally how am i this far in and catching it???? I love him

Lol jude said fuck condoms we fucking raw or not fucking at allll 😤😤😤😤 

“After a while, I notice him staring. “Do you want some of my pie,” I offer. / “Is that a euphemism?” / [..]“Do you want it to be?”” – yes, i do, i wsnt it.

““What's the pipeline between mommy issues and wanting to bend your sister over the bathroom sink?” “ - HELP ME?! – ““Stepsister,” I tell him.” – emphasis on step fr okayyyyyyyyyyy 

““It makes no difference to me, Jude. Sister or not, I’d want you the same way I wanted you then, the same way I want you now.” ” - wait why is there butterflies in my tummy 🫣🥺

““I want you to copy me,” he says, huskily, startling me, my eyes growing wide. “I want you to stick your fingers in your panties and do what I do.” ” - PEACH…the gasp i gasped ….  !!!! PEACH

IN THE DINER!?

IN FRONT - ACTUALLY !! ACTUALLY IN FRONT OF MY SALA D IN THE DINER?! .. do continue 

““I think…I want to do to you what Spring does to cherry trees,” he murmurs. “Open you up…watch you bloom.” ” – DO NOT BE QUOTING PROFOUND POETRY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE. 

His fingers in her mouth jus - 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶PUT MY FINGER IN UR MOUTH CUS U LOVE THE TASTE 

“He pulls out of my mouth, a trail of spit losing connection when he finds his way under the jacket, following my hand, and adding his finger to my two. I whimper at his intrusion, and think, disoriented, three. Three fingers.” – no fuc me for real PEACH PEACHERLY ANNE POSSIBLE i dont care that its dirty as hell this shit is poetic

NO NOT THE WAITRESS !!! NOT HIMS STILL GOING TOOO AHH PEACH

My heart racing rn 

Oh god.. The soft forehead kiss…like he didnt just rock her world in a booth in the diner… im literally and figuratively unwell

“He kisses me sweetly when we get to his car, and I kiss him back, because we can, for right now. ” – why did this hurt?!

AND ALL THIS TIME HE DIDNT EVEN LIKE CHERRIES

Not is it out of your system!!!! Twk ate w that fade to black fr tho

““Cherries?” / “Me,”” - STOP hes so fucking cute 

Okay this might be the longest ask yet 💀 my sisters in god is sending me💀

I think in any fic I’ve ever written, cardan is always holding doors for her lol

Not timothee chalamet core 😭😭😭 @iknowitwontwork ur friend is here, come get her ❤️

lol that is a nice piece of info to be made aware of 💀 I was lowkey wondering if you were switching through tabs lmao meanwhile I’m scrolling up and down trying to respond 💀 lol it would be soooo much h easier if this was the Wattpad comments section. Like they ate w that…that one little thing. They ate.

You did mention the song!

I really do try so hard to show not tell cus I hatttteee reading tell not show in books😭 like don’t tell me he loves her, show me!!! Where’s the build up?? The tension??

lol if cardan is blunt, Jude is ballsy (I hope it comes across this way lol)

Actually don’t know when that transition happened I just be typing stuff 💀

Always emphasis on STEP lmao he’s not the step brother he’s the brother that STEPPED up lmao lemme stop that was uncalled for anyways yes the diner, yes infront of your salad, ues the waitress, yes that song lmao

Also you should know the first time you called me peacherly anne possible, something in me changed like the stars alined and now peacherly is my go to user name for websites and stuff cus slayyyy who tf else being called peacherly ????!!!

Two really did eat w that lmaooo

[rin-and-jade]

Gonna keep coming here as anon lol. Anyway, went over some of the MID today and the biggest takeaway for me was there were no signs of borderline symptoms!!

I've been diagnosed with BPD since 19 and always told professionals I don't feel that's accurate. I've met people with BPD and talked so many in online forums, only ever related to their abandonment issues. It was a breath of fresh air that such a comprehensive assessment picked that up. Even my last therapist kept is as a diagnosis on my list because "She knows what DID looks like and I just don't hit the boxes for her". But I'm realizing I masked so hard in front of her because somewhere inside wanted to make her a motherly figure.. We got some mommy issues lmao.

We made it to the PTSD portion.. And I showed significant symptoms of that with dissociation. So idk if that's DID or what. He said my awareness to these parts is relatively high, and like yes... but also no because I still miss time frequently 😅

I am curious how the rest of going through the assessment is gonna be like.

Masking can definitely make your symptoms unseen or less defined which also obstructs the assessment.

Significant signs that relates to dissociation? That alone can tell alot, well, for having a dissociative disorder that is. I hope you can finish yours and get your results buddy!

- j

[sasukesun]

Wow from your pic, are you a fan of 'Monster', too? What do you think about that series?

monster is great. the characters are well written and interesting to follow, i really don’t think i’ve ever got bored watching it, even when the focus is not on the main characters, like tenma and johan, who are insanely well written. i’m going to be a doctor so tenma’s dilemmas have hit me hard, idk, it really gets me when a character chooses to do good over and over, always. watching johan is genuinely funny sometimes lol, what mommy issues does to a mf. and i’ve talked about this already but another funny thing is the fact that characters will connect every heinous thing that happens to johan no matter what kdhsjdh timmy turner’s dad saying dinkleberg vibes tbh, it’s not something that bothered me at all, it was just funny. even the side characters are interesting and well written, eva is a good and refreshing example because you’d expect her to fall into the typical spoiled and bitter woman writing but, unlike kishimoto who hates and wants some of his female characters to be embarrassing, urasawa wants eva to have her own development and complexity, and he gives her so. another very interesting thing is how, despite being framed as a monster through the story, i don’t think you can come out of monster thinking johan is purely evil. the actual unquestionable evil forces are the fascist ones, while the people who fight against them are minorities.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

I find your take really interesting because it's actually compelling and nuanced but I do still think I have a somewhat rosier view of Skyler as a person than you do (though still largely negative); in particular, I find it much easier to side with her early in the show, where, while what you say about her is true in a clear way, she still tends to have some decent argument for her position. The show is having some fun at her expense, but it's still putting her in situations where we can readily understand why she's doing what she's doing and she might even broadly be right. Of course Walt's medical decisions are his own (oh God I typed "her own" here originally and only caught it much later in editing; was this a terribly revealing Freudian slip? yikes), but at that point with what she knows Skyler would have to be a terrible spouse to not try to argue him into placing a higher value on his life. And while Skyler does have a comically naive bourgeoisie worldview on law and order, and willful naivete is not morally neutral, it's Marie who's stonewalling in the shoplifting conflict, not Skyler. I'd consider Skyler at the start of the show to be roughly on moral par with Jesse at worst (and even that feels like it's going awfully far), and that Jesse ultimately finds his way out of Walt's psychological web before she does feels more like happenstance than some deep indictment of her relative to him.

I do think it’s hard comparing Skyler to Jesse early on bc they are clearly at that point being treated by the show with different levels of seriousness. Jesse was slated for an early demise, remember, and was intended more as a stepping stone for Walt’s personal journey, whereas they would have had to be insane to do the same after one season with Skyler. (Well, frankly, they would have to have been insane to go through with it for Jesse too. But not as insane.)

And it shows! The early depth and nuance you see in Jesse is pretty much pure Aaron paul; he’s written fairly one-dimensionally as white trash sidekick comic relief, whereas Skyler is already being deliberately built up for big things. So it’s weird to compare the two imo, the way it would be weird to compare her and walt Jr. There’s just more to her early on

And idk, maybe some of the animosity i have for her (which i was exaggerating somewhat, for the sake of the take/bit, though not in essentials) is personal. Family technically-not-coercing you into medical treatment (that could Save Your Life!!) hits a little too close to home, and I uhhhh. Idk if you’ve been reading my blog long enough to hear about my mommy/ex-gf issues lol. (Ofc, plausibly deniable therapeutic venting is most of what most ppl have to say about brba at any length, so i don’t think this is a specially egregious interpretive failing on my part.) But I do think, simply on the merits, the “poor battered housewife” reaction to the misogynistic frenzy she initially provoked among certain segments of the fandom is overgenerous. It’s at least better than the negative reaction against that same crowd regarding walt, though, which consistently drives ppl to commit obvious and basically indefensible errors about central plot points, at which point I think you can barely be described as engaging with the show itself at all

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

[janwixler]

Hi!!! Who are your top 5 favorite aftg characters? I think for me it'd be Neil, Andrew, Kevin, Matt and Allison

helloooo~!! <3 that is a VERY trick question tbh!! I mean, all the foxes are like a can of jelly beans to me, each got a different flavour and I can't get enough of every single one of them~!! but, here's my top 5 which changes every week lolol...1. Neil : ofc Neil has to be at the Top! reading the book from his perspective made me *feel* some of thing. Neil tries hard not to get attached but look who ended up being a lover-boy jock <3 And That mouth of his, like, oh my, gwadd~ let's just say i fell in love with him on kathy's show! Of course his mommy and daddy issues have nothing to do with him being fav :)) 2. Andrew : at first I was oblivious like Neil about Andrew. but then, ya know, Andrew, Andrew Joseph Minyard? ya. The golden boi in Neil's life makes me wanna *melt* Every Damn Time.. <3 And his cigarette habits hits so close to home. Reading about him with faint smell of cigars and cologne lingering on him, is just.. *sighs dreamily* ~ 3. Kevin : oh, Kevin oh, Kevin~ I bet if he existed in our universe I would be a total SIMP for that pretty boy. I have thing for sexy sportsmen hehehehe... ;D from a annoying character, he went straight in my fav babygirl character~ his bisexual ass was really something! 4. Renne : listen, listen, Woman, right? yea. yea, stay with me. woman, who could KILL you~ <33 I fell for her THE exact MOMENT she was introduced!! the hair? Heavenly! The smile? Angelic! The skills? Deadly~! How could she NOT be my Fav character??!! 5. Aaron : WHOA, WHOA, WHOAAA!! before you judge me for that you can't deny that he indeed is an interesting character!! yeah, I will agree with you that he is a shitty annoying bitch-ass and ungrateful punk, And THAT what makes his character so entertaining to me!! even in fics too, like, so much drama with Aaron lol. in fact, he won't even bother with the shit you do if you Just Leave him alone lolol. He actually is just a Normal boi with Anger issues! Aaron and I have the same major. but whatever amiright? And my other 5 could be Matt, Wymack, Allison, Abby aannnddd Neil's british uncle Stuart... hahaha!! but, ahem, I am serious!

[mashamorevvna]

I don't know if I sent one but 💌 for both ask games lol

send me a 💌 and ill tell u something i love about you

oooh where to even begin 💗

im sure ive mentioned it before, but i really really admire your work as an artist. i think it hits such an amazing balance between prose, character work, introspection and i gobble it up sooooo much. its trulyyy insane how you have such a deft hand at characterisation that your ocs are fully recognisable in au scenarios and the way you build this continuity between projects like its truly spectacular to me

i think you also have amazinggggg taste in literature. like helois and abelard letter? incredible win. sarah kane? another incredible win. and i do go very often 👀👀 whenever you mention something i hadnt read or seen before!! i deeply deeply respect your taste, in short!

also i just really wanted to add that i really cherish all the interactions bc they meant a lot to me and i really admire your commitment to community building bc i know it takes consistent effort and a care for other artists that i think is exemplary in fandom and i do think youre one of the pillars of this lil niche!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

ive been sloooowly chipping away at the companion fic to jaheira&durge so yayyy me. i just find it really fascinating to juxtapose a durge who has to go back to bhaal's temple, with gortash who is defined by his refusal to go back to his personal hell!! also back again to gort's toment nexus of mommy issues. as if i ever left it, but thats another matter lmao

Korilla does not like him. Which is fair—his mother had not liked him either. He can sense the self-same flicker of annoyance, the bloating resentment at having to take care of something so unself-sufficient. To both he is a burden; to both he is less than a child, and little more than an inanimate object to preserve in working order. Was, in his mother's case, he thinks ruefully. "Acceptance, Flymm."  He almost laughs, and then remembers what the punishment for disrespecting the Master of the house is. And Korilla is nothing if not an extension of Raphael's authority. His gauntlet, one that more often than not he needn't even bother to instruct; it acts, and it's always to his pleasure. "Acceptance," he echoes.  "Yes. Hope is acceptance's deceitful sister. Hope would tell you to fight, this need not be forever. But you're smarter than that. There's no hope here, there can never have been," she says, and there’s a finality to her tone, as if she needs to convince herself above all.  She is beautiful, and terrible, and she does not love him at all. But it soothes him, in a way; hard not to be when weaned by a mother who had not once sat by his sickbed, who in truth might have cared for him less than this stranger.

[purrplegyuu]

Villain | Choi Yeonjun (one shot)

Warnings: smut, destructive thoughts, slightly mommy issues 'cuz i have them lol, drunk sex, 'best friends to fuck buddies' kinda relationship, cheating, angsty, exhibitionism.

Word count: 2.2k

Ayeee, I've been writting this since some time ago. I put so much effort on it, so please appreciate it.

Also, I wanted to wish y'all a happy new year. I would like to know how's it going so far.

Oh and remember my requests are open currently, so make sure to send some requests. I'm working hard on the ones I already have.

Luv yaa!

Remembering everything I yelled at him last night, I cannot help feeling insanely humiliated. The way I confessed my feelings, the way my voice broke, the way I almost cried when he said he never really felt the same… I was his best friend at the beginning, and then, I became nothing but his whore. Why would I think it would ever change?

Yet, it hurts so bad. And sitting right in front of his girlfriend is still more heartbreaking. Especially knowing the fact that she’s the reason we’ve begun with this shit, especially not really regretting everything and, somehow, thanking her instead.

“Gyuri, Truth or dare” One of our friends says, the one who knew what Yeonjun thought about me all this time, Minwoo.

“Truth” She answers. And, looking closely at her smile, I totally understand the reason he preferred her over me. She’s pretty, she’s charmful, she’s nice… she’s not a broken girl like me.

“Have you already had sex with Yeonjun?” Everyone yells at the spicy question. She laughs nervously.

“No no, we haven’t” She says, but Eunhyuk laughs by her side, saying she’s lying. He’s also one of our friends, the one who threw tons of parties in order to make her drunk enough to lose her virginity with Yeonjun. He never invited me tho.

“They did! Guys, I saw them! It was on the trip to the Han river” Says the third of our friends, Hanbin, the one whose parents own a house on the Han river, and always promised to take me there. But he didn’t… never did.

“Oh my god I knew it, this is so exciting!” Says the last of our friends, Minkyu, the only one who knew what my feelings for Yeonjun was.

Thinking about it carefully… none of them where ever my friends. I was never even close to them, and the aura when I was around them was way different than when there was only Yeonjun.

 Why am I noticing it until now? Why do I notice how much of a bitch I’m until now? Why am I suddenly mad? Why do I hate her so much?

“Truth or dare” Minkyu says.

Everyone looks at me, awkwardly as I take my time to answer. 

I cannot help thinking about every time I thought they were also my friends, all the things I made for them, all the times I helped them. And also think about all the parties I was not invited to, all the friend reunions they made and I casually showed up without realizing I was not wanted there… Yeonjun was right with it? Did he try to do it also?

“Truth” I say. My voice sounds way lower than usual. I look directly into the floor as I let the alcohol of the first bottle of beer I’ve ever drunk in my life take control of the things I say, the things I do.

“Uh uh, I’d like to ask!” Gyuri’s friend asks. “Do you… like Yeunjun?” She always came up with these kinds of rude questions to me. Even when we were not playing truth or dare. I always answer even rudder, however, I’m not rational Sohee now, I’m drunk Sohee.

“Hanna!” Gyuri laughs at his question, hitting her shoulder, telling her to shut up in a jokingly voice tone.

I take one more bottle of beer, and drink it until everything left is the middle of the liquid. Everyone is looking at me surprised at my unusual behavior. They’ve always known me because of how closed minded I am. I hated alcohol. Everything I hate now is everyone at this party. Including me.

“That was… a… clear answer” Gyuri says awkwardly. I suddenly hate her voice even more. I suddenly have the urge to jump onto her neck and bite until her head and the rest of her body are not one only object.

I suddenly want to see her broken for the first time.

“I’m actually fucking Yeonjun” Everyone look at me, waiting for anything to happen, maybe even thinking I’m joking. “Well, I guess he’s the one fucking me, right?”I see her face, I see the awkward smile in her face slowly fading, looking around to see if someone can give her an answer about what am I saying. Minwoo, Hanbin, Eunhyuk and Minkyu look at me surprised. I smile like a psycho, and then I laugh even more when Minwoo tries to silence me. “And… and If you do not believe me yet, come and look through the window”

I stand up, running to Minwoo’s bedroom. The one where he’s at. I know him well enough to know that this is his favourite place here. 

I close the door right behind me, making him jump at my sudden presency.

“Sohee” The moment he looks at me makes me feel something I cannot really describe nor understand. I hate him so much because of everything he said, but I also love him so much. And the awkwardness would have made me back up and think about it carefully and regret. However, I was drunk as fuck.

I walk fastly towards him, until his chest is against mine. “I don’t want to talk anymore” He says.

“Neither I do” I say. “I just want you one more time”

“Are you drunk?” I ignore his question, trying to take his face and kiss him. But he stops me, taking my arms. “I don’t think you really want it, it’s going to hurt worst if we fuck now”

“I know what I want, Jjun. I want it, one last time. If you don’t fuck me tonight, I swear I’m going to regret it my whole life” We’re close enough to make it look suspicious for everyone, however, I want them to see. I want to see him hurted. I want him to cry almost the way I did last night.

“Please” I say, and that’s all he needs to take my body with his hands, pushing me against his chest and kissing my lips as deeply as he never did before. My arms go up to hug his neck strongly, wanting anything but to have him closer than it’s possible for the last time. 

His hands run all over my body, caressing my neck, my back, and taking my butt strongly. I hear him buffing some times, squeezing me so good between his arms I can even forget that I want to see him hurted, wanting him to be mine forever instead.

“I’m sorry” He says between every kiss he gives to my lips, Then he kisses my cheeks, he bites the bulb of my ear, licks a long stripe of my neck, and sucks  on my clavicle, taking the hem of the crop top I’m wearing, pushing it up until my chest is bare just for him.

If I have to say one of the main reasons I’ve fallen for him, this would totally be the way he’s the only man I’ve had sex with who doesn’t dislike how small my breasts are. Everyone just touched my body, fucked my pussy and left, but Yeonjun kisses my nipples, bites them, sucks on them like he likes them. Makes me feel like I’m perfect, even though I know I’m not. 

I look around the room, somehow knowing it’s probably the last time I’m here. The memories of all the times I’ve been here almost makes me forget about Yeonjun’s hands working on lowering my oversized jeans.

Minwoo was I loss my virginity to. I didn’t ever really liked him, but I liked the way he made me feel. I was pretty for his eyes, I was funny to his ears, I was perfect for his hands. That’s what he used to say before he knew Sabrina, who he fucked one night on a party and never talked to her after that. It broke my heart, but I managed to act like I was okay because it would make me feel worse if he knew.

I fucked Hanbin one year after that on this same room. I didn’t actually wanted to also. However, I was starting to realise I liked Yeonjun, and I just wanted to be sure if that was right. It was. And I felt so dirty after that because Yeonjun himself saw everything through the weird window of Minwoo’s bedroom , the one I asked Minwoo once what was it for.

I didn’t talk to Yeonjun anymore this last year of high school because of how embarrassed I was. However, I found him again in college, and we became best friends.

Thinking about it, I can’t help feeling bad because of all of the memories in this room. I do am dirty.

I moan when I feel his fingers on my folds. He takes my jaw strongly, forcing me to look away from the empty window. When I look directly into her eyes, I notice it; I’m not mad. 

I don’t hate him. I can’t.

Why? Why do I hate her so much when she has never done anything wrong to me? 

The memory of my mother telling me that I’m a bad person, everything I’ve ever made is wrong… telling me I’m the villain of everybody’s story. 

And even realizing I’m who I am now because of Yeonjun, I still can’t hate him. 

He kisses me once again, and I feel his jeans falling to the floor beside mine. His hand taking my leg, lifting it until it’s hugging his waist. That's everything I need to realise I have fallen for him once again. 

It takes him not much to have his dick buried deep into my cunt. My hands take his arms so strongly I fear I might be hurting him. However, I’m too lost in the feelings to care about that. 

“Yeonjun” I murmur, lost enough to not notice what am I saying. “I’m sorry” My words don’t seem like they have a meaning, however, they do. 

I look at Hanbin walking through the window, looking at us and fake confusion. 

Yeonjun’s pushes on my cunt make me almost loss control. However, I manage to keep looking through the window as Minwoo and Eunhyuk do the same as Hanbin.

I feel this heat on my lower abdomen forming as this rut starts to tense.

Gyuri’s friend look at me surprised. She always thought I’m a whore. I don’t really care about her.

Yeonjun’s as close as me, I can tell because of the way his pace increases on speed and strength. 

Minkyu’s eyes do not even look at me. And I know for the way he acts that he doesn’t feel great being part of this. He’s never been the worst, but he’s not the good one either.

The way his hips hit mine is making me crazy. I can barely keep looking at the window, but I try to do it as much as I can because she’s the only reason I’m doing it. 

The moment Gyuri walks in, I can see her eyes watering instantly. There’s no illusions on her face anymore, and any kind of bright has faded from her face. And that’s everything I needed to cum. 

Yeonjun cums also, moaning lowly in my ear. 

And everything disappears for a second. It’s just me, enjoying the moment like I never really did before.

“Yeonjun?” Her broken voice brings me back to reality. 

Yeonjun jumps almost scared, putting his clothes back on, trying to explain everything they just saw wasn’t what they saw. 

I also put my clothes back on, looking at any other side of the room. 

“You don’t need to say nothing” I look at her. I notice she’s fighting the urge to cry. “She-” Her voice broken, her eyes tear, she pouts, and I don’t like it. 

“She already told everyone what have you both been doing all this time” Yeonjun looks at me. 

He can’t believe that. And I feel like he would never believe I did if my face didn’t tell him the truth. I know he would blame all of his friends before believe his own girlfriend it was me. But the way hundreds of tears are running down my face tells everything.

I suddenly regret it because I realise this is not what I wanted. 

I bitterly realise I have just broken him and her, but I have also broken me even more.

Mom was always right, and I’m not going to lie, I always knew it. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to be better. I would always be the villain of everyone’s story.

Now they do have reasons to call me the villain.

Masterlist

[sublimecatgalaxy]

My Boys

Pairing: Fezco x reader; Ashtray (platonic) x reader

Summary: Ashtray's had a hard life and Fezco's girlfriend, Y/n, is well aware. It's safe to say she took Ashtray under her wing and he never really told her how much he appreciates her. But all it takes is one word and she knows.

Song: "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last

Warnings: Ashtray having mommy/abandonment issues. It's heartbreaking. Also mentions of sex and swearing lol.

A/n: I loved writing this holy crap, okay. This one is short and sweet.

I hated the fact that Fez and Ashtray grew up without loving parents. I know they had their grandma, the gangbanger that she was- is. Fez didn't talk about his dad that often, the only thing that I knew was that he was an abusive dick and worked at a strip club. His father was rough on Fez as a child, the idea making me beyond angry. Probably because his mind was trying to shield him from unnecessary pain and the fact that he got hit over the head pretty hard by his grandma.

He didn't talk about his mom much. Probably because he really didn't know that much about her in the first place. I can only imagine what went down between his father and mother with the piece of shit that he was. All I know is that his grandma spoke highly of her, that she was kind, beautiful. The fact that he always uses the past tense while speaking of her led to believe that she was no longer here.

Ash on the other hand was a business transaction. The thought of that made me sick. The fact that they used a child to get drugs, to trade for drugs, and then never came back for him. Fez always said that he was a sweet kid, didn't cry, slept well. He would've been perfect to any deserving mother or family but instead Fez took over when his grandma was too high or too busy to take care of him.

Their grandma definitely cared for them in her own way. She protected them, that's for sure. I never doubted their safety for a moment even though they went with her to deals and were in pretty dangerous situations all the time. But they were her business partners, her family. The helped her with everything and anything under the sun.

I can't imagine the pain the two of them felt when she took a turn for the worst. No one knows what happened to this day, one day she was and the next day she wasn't. I know Fez carried a lot of guilt for that day and I understood why. But that amount of pressure, saving your guardian's life, should never be something that a child should bear. I'm thankful that Ash doesn't remember all too much about that day.

And though they weren't related, they were family. Just like I was.

When I first started seeing Fez, Ash was skeptical. Rightly so, this was his brother, his own family in the whole world. And I was just this new chick who was literally head over heels for his brother. I understood the worry and the concern.

But it didn't last long.

The first time that Ash showed any type of excitement towards me was when Fez and I went out to dinner for our six month anniversary. Look, I know Fez lacked the attention span sometimes, but that man could remember dates and could plan an outing like nobody's business. But that night, we went out to a nice restaurant and Ash pouted the whole night that we were going without him. I felt bad for him, knowing that this was his favorite restaurant so I ordered his favorite meal to go and brought it home for him.

When I tell you that his face lit up like a Christmas tree, that was an understatement. He was genuinely so excited. I remember Fez patting me on the back and placing a simple kiss on my cheek, thanking me for taking care of Ash. For loving him.

I did love him. He was my boy and Fez was my man.

My favorite past time was taking care of the two of them. I was a hug when they needed it, a shoulder to cry on which didn't happen often but the offer was there, I cooked for them and cleaned the apartment if it needed it. The biggest thing was that I took care of their grandma when they were too busy with business. Fez taught me everything I needed to know about the medications, the steps, everything.

Ash was just relieved that Fez could actually take a break. To stop feeling that he owed her the world because he felt like it was his fault that she was in this position in the first place.

I knew that they appreciated me. I didn't need recognition or a prize. They were the prize.

"You alright, baby?" Fez asks, his head tilting to look at me as he turns onto our street, his hand squeezing mine.

"Yeah, of course. I was just thinking about that time that I brought Ash food home on our six month. How excited he was." I chuckle, smiling fondly at the memory as Fez hums, a small smile on his lips.

"Yeah, you spoil the kid, huh?" He laughs, my head bobbing in a small nod as I watch him. I felt so overwhelming lucky to have him. He was perfect for me, soft, kind, and contrary to popular belief, he was very smart and was a great listener. All he did was listen to me talk and he loved to tell me how much he loved it. That he could listen to me talk for hours.

He's so handsome though. His eyelashes flutter against his freckled cheek every time he blinks, his biceps flexing as he turns the wheel. I grin wickedly, my thighs clenching together at the sight of his strong hands, excitement rushing through me to my core. As we pull into the parking lot, I can tell by Fez's wandering eyes and flirty comments that I'm gonna enjoy myself tonight.

We make our way inside quietly, my head peeking around the corner to see Ash unconscious on the couch, the TV playing quietly in the background. He liked to wait up for Fez and I, making sure the two of us got home safe before he went to bed.

"The kids asleep, be quiet." I whisper, slipping my heels off as I lose a few inches. Fez locks the door behind us, his hand resting on my back as we make our way further into the home. Before we can enter the hallway, I turn on my heel, making my way over to the sleeping boy. Even though he's like a loaded gun most of the time, he always looked utterly sweet when he slept. He drooled, sure, a lot, but his knees are tucked safely to his chest, his arm draped over the side of the couch.

"Whatchu doin'?" Fez asks in a hushed whisper, my head turning to look back at him with a soft shrug.

"He's gonna get cold. I wanted to cover him up." I reply, turning to grab the blanket off the back of the couch. He rolls over as I cover him, his lips parting gently as he groans.

"Night, mom." He mutters, my brain doing a double take at what I think I just heard. I turn back to Fez with wide eyes and he obviously heard it too because he shares a similar look. My heart melts, my gaze fluttering back to the sleeping boy as I lean down, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Sleep good, hun." Brushing a hand over the top of his head, a small smile forms on his lips as I back away slowly. A small squeal leaves my lips by the time I approach Fez, a soft, proud smile on his face. "He called me mom, Fez, he called me mom." I whisper, my hands reaching out to smack his chest as he nods with a small laugh.

"You're all he's ever known." He whispers, leaning forward to gently press a kiss to my lips. He lingers a bit, his arms wrapping around my waist with a sigh.

"Don't tell 'im he said that. He'd be embarrassed." I whisper against his lips, knowing that he wanted to use this against him to tease him. "It's beyond sweet, Fez, he'd literally never believe that something that nice came out of his mouth." I giggle, taking Fez's hands in mine as I pull him down the hallway. "Does that make me a milf?" I gasp, my jaw dropped as Fez rolls his eyes, pushing the bedroom door open as I follow him. He moves to sit on the bed with a sigh, his hands pulling his shirt over his head.

"Nah, baby." He shakes his head, my lips pouting as I step in between his thighs. "Not 'nless you want me to make you one." He winks, my heart swelling at the thought. He has a naughty grin on his lips as I gasp, his hands resting on my lower back as I place my lips on his. "C'mere." He smirks, a small squeal leaving my lips as he pulls me to the bed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------Taglist: @jamespotterswifey @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @letmebeyoureuphoria @rafecameronswhore @4lyssasworld @write-from-the-heart @ariianelle @vampviolets

Euphoria Taglist: @usernamelol @ssprayberrythings

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

Seven- Mommy Issues

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything

Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.

A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)

Previously

Afraid Masterlist

Song recommendation

Gif made by me!

As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?

She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.

She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.

By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.

She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.

And she was right.

A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.

The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.

Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.

The missing paper read as so:

“This is my dream, John.

And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.

Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.

And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.

I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.

Be the parent I will never be able to be.”

Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.

John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.

Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.

It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.

The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.

But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.

She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.

And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.

When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.

She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.

Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.

Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.

A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.

“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.

“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”

“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”

“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.

“Yeah, but it feels like it.”

“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”

“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”

“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”

“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”

“How did you find me, anyway?”

“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”

“I do not!”

“You so do!”

And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.

Taglist

@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank

If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!

[incorrectgreekgods]

My Friend’s Opinions On Various Greek Gods From Greek Mythology

Let me preface this by saying- I’m the one into mythology. My friends are going off of a two month unit three years ago and whatever mythology they’ve read/absorbed from modern media. None of this is taken to be offensive, and it is all based off of Ancient Greek Mythology and not hellenic polytheism. 

Now! Here are five of my friend’s impressions:

Isadora

Zeus - whore Poseidon - water Hades - meanie Persephone - gets caught by meanie Demeter - no fuckign idea Hera - i think she's a mommy? Hestia - also no fucking idea Athena - big brains Hermes - hehe that's my bestie Apollo - golden hourrrr Artemis - baddie asf Hephaestus - big muscle blacksmith Aphrodite - pretty Ares - meanier meanie Dionysus - naked drunkard

Santana

Zeus - needs to keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy Hades - vibes=immaculate minus him being like a killer Persephone - she’s chill funny Demeter - idk this man Hera - a little jelly of her mans but she’s chill Hestia - idk this girl Athena - thriving Hermes - speedy man with funny shoes Apollo - bow and arrow guy i think Artemis - baddie Hephaestus - who is this man Aphrodite - pretty one i think Ares - needs anger management Dionysus - drunk uncle

Sasha (who popped off???)

Zeus ⁃god sky, lightning, etc. ⁃sleeps with literally anything that breathes ⁃Terrible husband to Hera but they somehow make it work ⁃Last son to be barfed up by Kronos ⁃Leader of the gods (but like super bad at his job because the gods are always fighting?)

Poseidon ⁃Water ⁃Likes his angry, drunk cyclops children ⁃Sleeps with a lot of things too but is overshadowed by Zeus

Hades ⁃Death ⁃Hella depressed ⁃Honestly a pretty chill dude until her abducts women ⁃Husband to persephone ⁃The third wheel of him, Zeus, and Poseidon

Persephone ⁃Purple, flowers ⁃Demeter’s daughter ⁃Hot as fuck ⁃Pretty chill after being kidnapped ⁃Married Hades - lil bit of a shady situation but whatever they seem happy

Demeter ⁃Agriculture, growing ⁃Carries a scythe around and honestly that’s so badass ⁃“What sort of women doesn’t have an axe?” vibes ⁃idk what else I mean got super mad when her daughter was abducted but Id be concerned if she wasn’t

Hera ⁃Marriage, family ⁃Kinda ironic seeing as her husband is cheating on her 24/7 ⁃But also their marriage has stayed together so maybe she does have the secret to making a successful partnership ⁃Anyways she is jealous of zeus ⁃OH also she turns the lovers of his she catches into animals which sucks for the lovers but DAMN I love her

Hestia ⁃hearth, home ⁃SO sweet ⁃Nobody on Olympus deserves her ⁃Poseidon tried to marry her which in my opinion was a terrible idea

Athena ⁃Wisdom, strategy, cunning, war ⁃Thriving hard ⁃Big brain moment ⁃Um owl? ⁃Makes fun of other gods while they make fun of her but she always wins

Hermes ⁃Traveling, messages (LMAO originally I wrote massages and now I can totally see it) ⁃Sneaky little shit ⁃Has little shoes with wings and two snakes ⁃Makes stupid mistakes but manages to get out of punishment ⁃Gay ⁃Gay for Apollo  

Apollo ⁃Sun, music, arts ⁃Muses (I think he’s slept with all of them right?) ⁃Would 100% be the most followed person on Insta just for his golden hour shots ⁃Pan ⁃Gay for Hermes

Artemis ⁃Hunting, forrest, femininity ⁃Fucking awesome ⁃Sleeps with all her huntresses but it just hits different than Zeus ⁃Bow and arrow and other cool stuff to kill people  

Hephaestus ⁃Forge, metal work, armory, blacksmith ⁃Chucked from mount Olympus when he was a baby ⁃Serious daddy and mommy issues ⁃Loves Aphrodite but she is just not on the same level

Aphrodite ⁃Love, beauty ⁃Doesn’t seem to give two shits about anyone but she’s honestly thriving ⁃She and ares are in a thing but she’s definitely owning that relationship

Ares ⁃War ⁃Stupid? idk he seems to loose every war he starts ⁃Loves of Aphrodite but he knows he’s about to lose her

Dionysus ⁃Drunk all the time ⁃Um I literally have no idea what he does other than party and get drunk ⁃Respect for his lack of goals in life

Emily

Zeus - wanna lightning bolt your small dick off Poseidon - cool water guy who made Odysseus’ life bad lol TEAM POSEIDON Hades - underworld dude with a weird ass dog. kidnapped then married Persephone. Reminds me of creepy old men on the internet your parents warn you about.   Persephone - fucking hot and should be more appreciative that hades wants her that badly (jealousy) Demeter - seriously please hack my face off w your scythe my agricultural top Hera - milf. that’s all. AND WAY TOO GOOD FOR SMALL DICK MAN Hestia - hearth? Huh? Athena - baddest bitch around. intelligent, owl, blood kink, probably. Hermes - mailman with shoe game. GAY Apollo - music, the sun, def part of the lgbtq+ community. Artemis - BADDEST BITCH AROUND. Huntress, cool weapons, and i would pay so much money to have her rail me dominatrix style ( bring the bow please) Hephaestus - blacksmith right? simps for Aphrodite (as he should). mommy AND daddy issues. Aphrodite - beauty, love, hot asf Ares - war, and has serious anger issues. I’ll give you my therapists card babe Dionysus - drunk all the time, reminds me of moms who have the wine glasses that say “it’s moms turn to wine”.

Norie

Zeus - shitty husband, couldn’t keep it in his pants Poseidon - water guy, hate this mf cause of Medusa, def least fav god Hades - underworld ruler, people who like him think their quirky (Ik cause it used to be me) Persephone - so hot, pls rail me, sry she got stockholm syndrome but like I would be flattered if anyone cared enough to kidnap me Demeter - top, grain mf, could fuck me with her scythe Hera - could top me, needed a good divorce lawyer Hestia - goddess of hearth? Don’t rly know much abt her but like I think she’s the oldest of her siblings Athena - smart one, owl bitch, also a whore for war Hermes - idk remember much, mischief, wings? Apollo - bisexual disaster, music bitch Artemis - hunter, could shoot me with her bow and I would say thank you Hephaestus - no thoughts at all, wait is this the guy who was with Pandora? Idk but like I think he was a blacksmith Aphrodite - hot Ares - war, a little over the top Dionysus - drunk, alcohol addiction rivals isadora’s