#mom you're the one who made me watch good will hunting!!!

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[railingsofsorrow]

old habits

a/n: in honour of cm:evolution new trailer that I saw emily holding a pack of cigarettes.

pairing: emily prentiss x f!bi!BAU!reader

warnings/content: exes with feelings trope; smoking; past relationships; discussion about marriage and family being overbearing; this is sad.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

[part 2] [part 3]

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“you're back at it?”

emily's head tilted to watch you approach from her peripheral vision.

you watched as her grey strands fell from her shoulder as she turned her neck.

one of the best things emily did was let her hair take on her natural colour, instead of dying it black continuously. she's beautiful regardless, especially with messy hair and her sleepy face as soon as she wakes up— and now you're spiraling.

your brain seemed to forget that she's no longer your girlfriend and kept on hunting you with memories you can't get back to.

she was playing with the pack of cigarettes as she admitted out loud, “mhm. trying not to, but—”

“you're stressed.”

her lips quirked up and she looked up at you, a hint of a smile. it wasn't a happy one. “that's one way to put it.”

you looked down at your shoes as you leaned to where she was sitting. eye contact was something you couldn't hold for long, it was hard and awkward. it didn't used to be like that. you could stare at emily the entire day and not look away for a second.

“what's stressing you out?” your voice was slightly muffled by the collar of your coat. it was cold, you find it absurd how emily never even flinched at the wind. she had always been warmer than you but had the coldest hands on earth.

“just needed some fresh air.”

you offered her a blank look.

she closed the lid of the pack, leaving it aside before she spoke again. if she did that out of respect for you or if she didn't felt like smoking anymore, you didn't care. both were good reasons.

“what's stressing you out?” she threw back.

“my mom called.” you eyed her hand for a moment, wondering if they were still as cold as you remembered them to be. clearing your throat and shaking your head to deviate your thoughts to a better and solid place, you said, “she wants to know when I'm going to visit because, you know, uh... she wants to introduce me to someone.”

a beat.

“oh.” emily let out a forced chuckle. “she wants to set you up with a guy.”

“precisely.” which is what your mother always did, even after you introduced emily as your long term girlfriend. her calls were always about finding someone good for you while you were in a relationship.

it was frustrating but you could handle it since you were never at her place anymore. you visited, yes, but five times a year, maybe. never more than that. you never told her you and emily had broke up.

“and do you want it? to meet him?”

a scoff left your lips, “no. it will probably be some religious prick who will want to control my life like my dad controlled hers.”

“she must be crazy about the idea of planning your wedding.”

you nodded, staring distractedly into the horizon.

“probably,” you said, “but it's never happening, so.”

“why would you say that?” you could see her frown through her tone of voice. “it can still happen.”

you leaned back slightly, inhaling with your eyes closed. your nose was definitely pink and you were starting you feel your fingers become numb, but the night sky and the quietness made you enjoy the moment.

and the company, of course.

“i don't want to.”

“get married?” she had a puzzled look while she studied you. and you let her profile you in that moment, even if you despised when she did that. “you used to want it.”

there are some things that are better left unsaid. in order for you to end a cycle, you have to do something to move on. so you say things that need to be said and leave out the ones that will come to the surface later. the what ifs.

you blamed the moon for your choice or words next.

“i used to want it, yes. when I was with you.”

you ignored the deafening silence that installed itself between the two of you, deciding to bask in the rare peaceful moment without seeing dead bodies and without hunting serial killers.

“i didn't know that.” she surprised you by breaking the silence. you thought she would've just pretended you didn't say anything and move on.

move on.

why is it so hard?

“you thought about marrying me?”

yes, please, torture me like that, emily prentiss. you're awfully good at that.

“emily, I thought about everything with you.”

“why?” she sounded genuinely confused.

“because I loved you.” you said matter-of-fact. “and I... you know what? I'm gonna head back inside. it's freezing out here.” you abruptly cut the conversation short. otherwise you'd say something you'd regret later and all the moving on you did in the last few years would go down the drain. a moment didn't change anything.

emily's icy fingers held you by the elbow and your breath failed for a second.

“i'm sorry.”

“no, don't do that.” you begged, pulling your arm back and out of her reach. you'd done that before, you remembered how you ended up. you're not going back there again.

she let you go, folding her arms across her chest as if she felt cold for the first time that night. she eyed the pack of cigarettes, taking a minute to remind herself of the progress she made for not smoking in the past months.

and your voice rang through her head as walked back inside the building.

“it's not good for you.” you said one night when she thought you were sleeping. your arm wrapped around her middle and you tucked your nose in the crook of her neck. she leaned back immediately, her body finding the comfort in seek in your warm touch.

she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth and stared at it. “i know.”

you kissed the back of her shoulder, rubbing softly the side of her waist. “why'd you wake up? nightmare?”

“yeah, I didn't want to wake you up too.” she grimaced, turning her head so your eyes could meet. you gave her an eye roll.

“you didn't but you should. I don't like you alone with your mind catastrophizing everything.”

and look how she ended up.

lonely. with her mind catastrophizing everything.

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a/n: i need to write some emily fluff....

[attackfish]

So everybody here knows that I'm notorious for being a massive defender of Ursa, and that I have no patience for the "Ursa was a bad mother, she favored Zuko, and was abusive to Azula and abandoned her kids, and made Ozai abuse Zuko," narrative. That narrative is vile, victim blaming, and deeply stupid on a number of levels.

With that out of the way, I want to talk about some really really bad parenting we see Ursa do during the series. And it is to be clear really really bad.

In the Book Two episode, "Bitter Work", Zuko and Iroh have a conversation:

ZUKO: So Uncle, I've been thinking. It's only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I'm going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. I know what you're going to say, she's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her-

IROH: No, she's crazy, and she needs to go down.

This scene is a favorite of a certain type of Azula fan who wants to paint Iroh as a big meanie who didn't wave his magic redemption wand over Azula the way he clearly did over Zuko. See? See? He's writing her off here and calling her crazy.

This of course misses the context of that scene, which is that Zuko is taking care of a severely injured Iroh, who was injured by Azula, in what looked a heck of a lot like a murder attempt. Earlier in Book Two, in the episode, "The Avatar State", Azula unambiguously attempts to murder her brother after failing to capture him, and he is only saved by Iroh's quick reflexes.

But let's leave that argument aside for today because what interests me about this scene in the context of Ursa's parenting, is the line Zuko says right before Iroh's infamous declaration: "I know what you're going to say, she's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her."

Because in the context of Zuko and Iroh's situation, where Azula has recently attempted to kill Zuko, and just put Iroh into a coma that Zuko had to take care of him during, in which he has only just woken up from, this line from Zuko actually demonstrates some really warped thinking. It is not a healthy response to the situation at all. And his assumption is that a good caring parent figure like Iroh is going to respond to this situation by telling him that Zuko needs to get along with his sister, who is actively trying to hunt him down and capture or kill him.

So why does Zuko think that? What adult reacted that way to Azula's violence toward her brother in the past? It wasn't Ozai. Ozai is not going to use the language of getting along with one's siblings, when he is so bent on setting them against each other. So who was it?

The show answers this a few episodes before this scene, in the Book Two episode, "Zuko Alone." The answer is clear and heartbreaking: It was Ursa.

The scene in which this becomes plain, starts with Zuko and Ursa walking together. Mai spots them and smiles and blushes. Azula notices, and then turns to Ty Lee, and whispers, "Watch this!"

AZULA: Mom, can you make Zuko play with us? We need equal teams to play a game!

ZUKO: I am not cart-wheeling.

AZULA: You won't have to. Cart-wheeling's not a game, dum-dum.

ZUKO: I don't care. I don't want to play with you!

AZULA: We are brother and sister. It's important for us to spend time together. Don't you think so, Mom?

URSA: Yes, darling, I think it's a good idea to play with your sister. Go on now, just for a little while.

And then Ursa leaves Zuko alone with Azula and her friends.

There is a lot here that I want to talk about. I have in fact talked about this scene before, and what it tells us about Ursa's eagerness to reinforce Azula's seemingly kind and loving behavior: [Link], and even touched on why this is in fact an example of bad parenting from Ursa: [Link], but I think this deserves its own post, where we examine exactly what went on here, what this tells us about Ursa's parenting, and how this affected Zuko, and to a lesser extent, Azula.

In those previously linked posts, I talk about how this is clearly a pattern, that Azula has learned to predict and manipulate, and because we know it's a pattern, we know that this behavior on Ursa's part is repeated, and something her children have come to expect from her. Zuko and Azula know their mother wants her children to get along with each other, and love each other and have a good sibling relationship with each other so much that if Azula she plays into that, Ursa will force Zuko to spend time with his sister, and worse, that time will be unsupervised.

So, to be clear here, what Ursa is doing is giving Azula unsupervised access to her brother, against his will, as a reward for Azula momentarily acting nice. Or in other words, Ursa forces Zuko to spend time with his abuser against his will because she wants them to get along.

I think we can all see how that is some grade A terrible parenting.

And it does have negative effects on Azula. I think that we can see her learning how to manipulate people, learning how to lie and get what she wants from people, and that Ursa by giving her what she wants here, is showing her that this is a thing she can do to get what she wants. That is not a great lesson to teach your kid. I think it also feeds into Azula's possessiveness of her brother, and sense of entitlement towards him. She has learned that even the people who love and care about her brother, won't protect him from her. And she has learned that no matter what she does to him, he is supposed to try to get along with her.

These are some really terrible lessons, and we see some of the effects of them throughout the course of the show, so why is it that the "Ursa is a terrible mother" crowd never bring this up? I mean of course we know why, it doesn't fit their narrative. Their premise is not simply that Ursa is a bad mother, or even that her bad parenting explains Azula's behavior.

In fact frequently it isn't even about finding someone to blame for Azula's behavior, so that the responsibility isn't Azula's. (Which, to be clear is not how it would work anyway, because even if Ursa were exactly the type of horrible mother they said she was, Azula was still making the choices to do Very Bad Things, in the same way that just because Ozai is an abusive father, this doesn't mean Azula stopped being responsible for her own actions). It's more about proving that she has suffered enough that she deserves all the sympathy, and is allowed to be awful to other people, including Zuko, you know, as a treat.

The narrative that the "Ursa is a terrible mother" crowd are pushing is that Ursa didn't love her daughter, and thought she was a monster, Azula suffered so much, and it's so sad, and this is why she deserves to do very nasty things to everybody else, and no one should ever hold her accountable. Frequently there is some flavor of, "Zuko had a mother who loved him, you guys, unlike Azula, so he doesn't deserve sympathy, not like poor baby Azula!" Which is a deeply warped thought process on many many levels, but we're not going to go into that here.

The point is, that this type of bad parenting that I am pointing out here, doesn't fit this narrative, because this is not the kind of parenting mistake that a mother who doesn't love one of her children, and thinks that child is a monster, is going to make. This is the kind of mistake that a mother who loves her children very much, and wants them to have a good relationship, and doesn't recognize the threat that one of her children poses to the other, is going to make. In fact, the fact that she does it, proves that Ursa does in fact love her daughter and does not think she's a monster. So it does not fit the narrative these people are spinning, so they will never bring it up as an example of how Ursa was a bad mom.

Of course the other reason the "Ursa is a terrible mother" crowd aren't going to bring this part up is because it would mean acknowledging that Zuko deserved to be protected from Azula, and needed to be protected from Azula, when they were both children, which would go against the whole "she's a poor innocent child" thing they like to spin, and also because Azula is getting what she wants here, and Zuko is the one suffering, which is not going to get Azula any sympathy points.

And for the most part, Ursa was an excellent mother, who did the best job she could in horrible circumstances that she had very little control over, but she wasn't perfect, and she did make mistakes, which makes all of this a wonderful example of how even very good parents can make very bad choices that hurt their children and cause serious long-term damage.

I've talked some about the long term damage that Azula faces from this, learning about manipulation, and developing some really nasty entitlement issues with regards to her brother, but Zuko's long-term damage is if anything worse.

When we put this together with Zuko's line from "Bitter Work" quoted earlier, we can see that Zuko learns what Azula learns from the other angle, which is to say that he will not be protected from Azula by anyone, and not only will he not be protected, but he does not deserve to protect himself. Not only can he not defend himself, but he can't even protect himself by avoiding her. That's not allowed either. And in the face of her cruelty and violence towards him, it is still on him to make their relationship work, and to be clear, he should absolutely be making their relationship work. And the adults who love him are going to tell him this, no matter what Azula does to him.

I for one am really glad that Iroh is there to say no, that's a terrible idea, and you do not need to keep trying to get along with your sister who is trying to kill you. And it's significant that throughout Book Two, Iroh consistently protects Zuko from Azula, and teaches him what he needs to fight back.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Dean Winchester Series (2+ parts)

Below you'll find series that have more than three parts and stories that are only two parters. If you see a story that only has two parts that you want to see more of, let me know!

Happy reading :)

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Series Rewrite Status: In Progress Summary: You became a hunter early on in life. You hunted with the Winchesters after your mom died and this is your story. It’s a messy one but it’s yours.

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

You’re Not Alone Status: Completed Summary: You’ve been alone your entire life, watching as the world passes you by. Mental illness and the lack of self-esteem is your life until you meet Dean. Can he help you get back on track? Can he help you see you for who you really are? Can he help you realize that it’s never too late for love?

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Find Your Way Back Home Status: Completed Summary: The hunting life is never easy, especially for a kid. For someone who lives in a group home with a ton of siblings, hunting seems like a better alternative than being stuck in a prison for your entire childhood. Sam and Dean are good teachers and allow you to help when you can, but there is something about Dean that awakens something in you later in life… something you didn’t know you craved. You two are a ticking timebomb waiting to happen, but you always seem to find your way back to him regardless of what may happen between you.

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Deadly Proposal Status: In Progress Summary: You come from a very rare bloodline that makes your blood very rare to vampires. Your blood is special but you don't know it. When you meet Dean Winchester, he offers you the deal of a lifetime, but what happens when you let him into your life with your heart stitched onto your sleeve?

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Right After All Status: Completed Summary: One Man. Two Twins. One of them longs for the man's attention while the other gets to go home with him. One of them bares her heart for the man while the other steals his and doesn't give it back. He is faced with the ultimate decision. Which twin will he end up with?

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Past, Present, and Future Status: In Progress Summary: You have the power to manipulate time at will. You're the Time Stone. You were made for one reason and one reason only: to help other people. You go around to different worlds across every universe helping those who need it when you get called to Sam and Dean Winchester. You travel to the future and past for them only to create something that is either going to destroy you or help you.

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

You Can’t Escape Your Past Status: Completed Summary: You and Dean take a much needed vacation to Cape Town for your two year anniversary. You thought it would be perfect and everything you ever wanted. What happens when your past decided to catch up with you?

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader actually looks like*

Raindrops Make Perfect Circles Status: Completed Summary: This is the story of how you got married to Dean Winchester and how it all played out.

*The image(s) I’ve used for the reader on the cover DOES NOT reflect what the reader and Deanna actually looks like*

Dean and Deanna Series Status: On Hold Summary: You and Dean have a daughter together and these are the special moments in life.

Tethered // Part Two Status: On Hold Summary: You and Dean have the most wonderful baby girl and you love her with all of your heart. You sing to her when she cries and you do anything you possibly can to make her smile. Dean hopes he can raise his daughter because there is one major thing missing… Or is there?

Love At First Sight // After All These Years Summary: You’re Dean’s soulmate but you didn’t know that when you first met him. That explains why you fell for him at the first sight.

Caught Red Handed // Part 2 Summary: You and Dean Winchester have a special bond. You’re madly in love with him. Until one day your whole world comes crashing down. How can you ever forgive him for hurting you so badly? Was it even his fault?

Hurt Her and I’ll Kill You // Part 2 Summary: You’re Bobby’s daughter and Dean has a huge crush on you. When Bobby finds out, he gives Dean the “dad” talk.

Sleeping Curse // Part 2 Summary: Your life has been linked to Sam’s so as long as he’s alive, you are asleep. You don’t know when you’ll wake up or what you’ll see when you do. You just can’t help but think what Dean is going through.

Out Of Touch // Part Two Summary: Dean kicked you out of his life when you needed him the most, and you've been surviving with your son for the next eight years. You two are reunited and he realizes just how badly he's fucked up. Can he fix it? Do you want it fixed?

[zuko-always-lies]

Unpopular Opinion: Ursa's parenting negatively affected Zuko

One of the fascinating things about the ATLA fandom is that people are utterly uninterested in analyzing how Ursa's parenting really screwed up Zuko, even though it's pretty clear. I don't mean to attack Ursa here, because I think she had good intentions, but, although her parenting was far better than Ozai's, it contributed to Zuko's many poor decisions.

I've given a broader coverage to values Ursa extols to her children elsewhere. The general point you should take away from that is that Ursa was critical in instilling imperialist values in her children and in teaching them to respect/obey the Firelord.

However, that's not the point I will belabor here. I want to turn to something else. Let's take a look closely at the scene where Zuko tries to perform Azula's firebending routine in front of his grandfather and his father but falls flat on his face:

Ozai frowns at this news. Zuko starts off well, doing the same circular motions as Azula earlier. He manages to produce a small fire blast, which does not impress Fire Lord Azulon. When he tries to create another one, he falls. He gets back up, panting heavily, and tries again, only to fall harder. Ursa gets up worriedly and approaches Zuko to comfort him. Young Zuko: I failed. Ursa: No. I loved watching you. That's who you are, Zuko. Someone who keeps fighting even though it's hard.

The lesson that Zuko learns from Ursa here is that his gift is stubborn persistence and that he should never stop trying to meet the toxic expectations of the Fire Nation royal court and of his father(she also might have inadvertently encouraged the Zuko-Azula sibling rivalry).

How do we know this is what Zuko took away from this? These scenes are paired together at the end of "Zuko Alone," as Zuko struggles to defeat Gow:

In the flashback, Zuko is sleeping in his room at night when a hand gently touches his shoulder. He awakens drowsily to see his mother dressed in a cloak.

Young Zuko: … Mom? Ursa: Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you. She pulls the barely conscious Zuko into a hug. Ursa: Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

and this scene:

Gow: Who ... who are you? Zuko:My name is Zuko. Son of Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai. Prince of the Fire Nation, and heir to the throne. Old man: Liar! I heard of you! You're not a prince, you're an outcast! His own father burned and disowned him!

Zuko took Ursa's advice to never give up and never forget who he was to heart, and as a result even though he's been burned, banished, and declared a traitor, even though he objectively has no real chance of getting his status and Ozai's favor back at this point, Zuko is still trying to do that and refuses to let go of his long-lost position in the Fire Nation as crown prince. The smart thing to do would be to give up and move on, but Zuko refuses to do that.

We can also turn to what Zuko says to Aang in "The Siege of the North, II":

Zuko: I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. [Stands up and looks outside the cave.] There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am.

All of this brings me back to my main point. Ozai might have been the one who burned and banished Zuko, who abused him and declared him a traitor, who demanded that Zuko capture the Avatar, but Ursa is the one who taught Zuko the persistence that made him chase after legends for three years, that made him take reckless risk after reckless risk, that made him continue chasing the Avatar even after Ozai was having him hunted as a traitor across the Earth Kingdom.

The biggest problem in Zuko's life is that he refuses to let go of his dream of regaining Ozai's favor, that he refuses to accept that Ozai doesn't love and move on and find something better to center his life around, and from what we see Ursa played a huge role in this, because she taught Zuko to never give up trying fulfilling the expectations of Ozai and the court, no matter how many times he failed. Ursa wasn't intending ill, but her parenting had a huge negative effect on Zuko's life.

[swordofsun]

One of the things I have discussed ad nauseum with @ilarual and @mybrainproblems is how Dean doesn't give John a denouncement in Lebanon because he doesn't need to give John a denouncement. He's already done it. Just because John wasn't there doesn't mean it didn't serve the same purpose for Dean.

Yes, I'm talking about 03x10 Dream A Little Dream Of Me:

DREAM DEAN

Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument.

(angry)

Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?

DEAN

(angry)

Son of a bitch!

DEAN pushes DREAM DEAN hard, knocking him into the wall above the desk.

DEAN

(screaming angrily)

My father was an obsessed bastard!

DREAM DEAN tries to get up and DEAN kicks him down on the desk again. DEAN holds the weapon as a bat and hits DREAM DEAN once and then pins him to the wall with it.

DEAN

All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He-

DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.

DEAN

He's the one who let Mom die.

DEAN pins DREAM DEAN again.

DEAN

– who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me.

He backs away from DREAM DEAN.

DEAN

And I don't deserve to go to Hell!*

The catharsis is admitting that John was unfair and expected too much. It doesn't actually need to be said to John. This is stuff Dean needs to acknowledge in himself. To accept and move forward with that knowledge. It's finally verbalized this that allows him to admit to Sam that he doesn't want to die and he doesn't want to go to hell.

But I also realized today that Dean does also get that yelling at John moment. He just doesn't get to remember it until 04x15 when Tessa gives him back his memories of 02x01.

JOHN is sitting by DEAN'S bed; !DEAN STANDS NEARBY.

!DEAN

Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything?

(he starts walking around the bed)

I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?**

And, again, it doesn't matter that John doesn't hear any of this. Because it's not for John. It's for Dean. Dean's the one who needed to acknowledge everything John did to him. And he does. He just doesn't have the need to then talk about it with other people or waste the short period of time he has with John in Lebanon hashing over stuff he's already dealt with.

He even gets an acknowledgment from John that he was wrong to raise Dean the way he did. He just followed it up by giving Dean one last shitty order. But he still does say:

JOHN

You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say "It's okay, Dad"

(pauses)

Dean, I'm sorry.

DEAN

What?

JOHN

You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.**

By the time Lebanon comes around he's dealt with all this crap. He's had his moments of yelling about the unfairness of it all. He's dealt with his issues around Mary making the deal in the first place and not leaving them any warnings or explanations.***

Lebanon is about healing an old hurt that's been festering since he was 4 years old. It's giving him one last happy family meal. Why would he ruin that by yelling at John about things he's already dealt with?

SAM

How did this happen?

DEAN

I-I-I don’t know. You said that the – the pearl gives you what your heart desires, right? So, my heart desired – I – I’ve wanted this, man. I’ve – I’ve wanted this since I was 4 years old.

SAM

Okay, I know, and I-I-I-I love this, too, Dean. I do, honestly, but – but messing with time –

DEAN

No, no, no, Sam.

SAM

You know how this ends. Things change.

DEAN

Yeah, great – we got our family back together. I’ll take that change.

SAM

That’s not what I mean.

DEAN

Stop. Just stop, okay? Look, can – can we just have one family dinner? Just one? Us – all of us together. That’s all I want. Can you just give me that?****

I think sometimes people get so focused on what they'd like to see that they forget what would actually make sense for the characters. Dean's had his denouncements and Lebanon is about reaffirming his happiness on where he is now.

JOHN

No, son. My fight. It was supposed to end with me, with Yellow Eyes. But now you – you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you. I guess that I had hoped, eventually, you would… get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family.

[DEAN nods. He smiles.]

DEAN

I have a family.****

*03x10 Transcript

**02x01 Transcript

***See 12x22 Who We Are

****14x13 Transcript

[misc-obeyme]

I'M ALIVE (BARELY) !! Work is kicking my ass. Also, lots of things went wrong for me this morning, but they all worked out in the end ?? Like I forgot to set my alarm, had to bring my mom's phone to her job bc she forgot it, my bus ended up running late because the doors would get stuck at stops. But I woke up on time, caught the bus after taking the phone, and made it early to work because the bus forgot to take the detour? My luck is insane (thanks Mammon.)

ANYWAY, i can no longer contain my thoughts about Mammon x Solomon x Mc. I'm just imagining my mc and Solomon who are both very curious, and love messing around with potions at purgatory hall, and finding alternatives to rare ingredients. This has definitely gone wrong a bunch of times (most days without a potion incident: 4)

and I'm imagining Mammon tagging along bc he misses mc and is jealous that Sol is taking up their time, but denies all claims - "I'm assigned to protect ya, ain't I?" "From Solomon?" "W-Well, he's a shady sorcerer!"

He sits on the floor by mc's feet, and will fetch them things because he can't say no to them. But he spends so much time listening to them brainstorm, he starts learning and will chime in randomly. Mc and Sol who are stuck on what to add, Mammon drops something in there, and they're both horrified until they realize the potion is perfect now. He just has a little database in his mind of what to add to something, and rare ingredients that the two wish they could get their hands on.

Thinking about Mammon doing a favor for a witch and she tells him to pick anything in her collection since she's low on money. He was about to be angry when he saw an ingredient that they've both been complaining is rare and hard to find. He asks the witch for that and then brings it to the two. He acts all nonchalant about it, trying to brush it off. Mc tackles him, meanwhile Solomon is in awe and staring with a twinkle in his eye.

Now Mammon starts requesting trades with witches, for a lower portion of grimm. Gets ingredients he knows they dream about, because the way mc and sol will get all giddy after he presents them with his earnings makes his stomach flip (he will never admit this)

"This is missing something" Solomon

"Yeah but I can't figure out what" MC

"Have you tried *insert seemingly common ingredient that doesn't work for most things*" Mammon

"But no one uses that, it's why we're always stuck with it" MC

"Couldn't hurt to try. See, watch." Mammon.

"WAIT, MAMMON DON'T- ... IT WORKED!?" Mc/Sol

----

"MAMMON HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS, IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS" mc

"Dunno, got it from a random witch. Said she didn't need it. *spent two hours haggling with said witch*"

"...am I in love?" Solomon, reevaluating life

"Eh? What are ya mumbling about? If you're gonna thank me, I want it loud and clear!"

my crack ship <3 they mean everything to me. I caved and hunted down the plushies of them on ebay too. ALSO I GOT TWO OF MY COMMISSIONS BACK AND I'M 😭 they're perfect !!! I'm so so happy with them. Literally the lock screen is beautiful bc it's me and mammon cuddling (HIS MUSCLES CC!! IM DYING) and it looks like it was taken by like asmo or something who walked in to wake us up.

i think I'm also a hopeless romantic, I'm just scared of confronting my feelings lol (you're right in that it is worth it, I just need to figure out how to be brave </3). I throw myself into romance books and fanfics. Vaguely related, thinking about coffee shop au with barista!Mammon and college student!Solomon.

OKAY SORRY IM DONE RAMBLING 😭 HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY

- ✨ anon

Wow that does sound like a crazy morning!! I'm glad it all worked out, though~ Mammon is totally watching out for you!

OKAY but all of that sounds exactly like Mammon! I mean, he's super smart, he just doesn't usually bother to apply himself to anything. So it totally makes sense that he'd just pick up things because he's spending time with MC and Solomon. And then of course he's gonna end up seeing rare ingredients and being like, okay yeah I'm taking that. That all sounds absolutely adorable~

I'm curious about whether or not Solomon and Mammon would make a pact in this situation? I mean, if it's both of them and your MC that are in the relationship, do you think they would? Do you think Solomon would move past his obsession with getting a pact with Lucifer and end up in one with Mammon instead?

I always felt like Solomon doesn't really get Mammon, you know? But that doesn't mean he can't learn. And oh man, Solomon is such a tease and Mammon is so not good at being teased lol. That idea is giving me so many entertaining images, I can't even handle it.

Anyway, I'm totally here for it! It sounds really cute~

I'm so glad you're happy with your comms!!! They sound amazing!

And don't worry, you'll figure it out. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you have plenty of time! It's a balancing act, you know? It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings without letting them control you. But it's easier to decide what to do about them if you know what they are. Anyway, not to get all philosophical over here lol. I think the key is to find someone you want to be brave for, you know?

AUGH I love coffee shop aus sooooooo much!!! I was very obsessed with the idea of barista!Mammon for a while, mostly because of a daily chat where he was working at a cafe and then got into a fight with customer. He's good at finances, so I think he could be pretty business minded if he wanted to be. So I was thinking about a situation where he owns his own cafe, but when the customers get rude with one of his fellow baristas, he gets into a fight with them lol. I hadn't really considered who that other barista was, but it could be MC.

Anyway, I could ramble about coffee shop aus all day because I love them aklsdlkfjdfjkl

I hope you have a lovely day/night, too!!

[acherons-blade]

i've been thinking of a way to word this post/my thoughts about how aventurine's ptsd is written for a very long time, but to be honest, the only thing i can say is that as someone who has ptsd-like symptoms, how hoyo represented aventurine's ptsd means a lot to me.

(more elaboration on how well i think aventurine's ptsd is written under the cut)

before we start off, i'm going to be talking about various ptsd symptoms as stated by the dsm-5 (source). i'm not diagnosing aventurine, but by how the dsm-5 categorizes ptsd and various things aventurine experiences, i hope to show how people can see themselves in aventurine.

first off, it's abundantly clear aventurine has gone through a lot. quite literally the first thing the dsm-5 looks into before diagnosing ptsd is:

aventurine has gone through literally all of these. from being hunted down in the desert, watching his mom and sister die, being sold into slavery, and it being implied he gets into life or death situations by the ipc (from aventurine's future saying: "When you were strapped to that electric chair by Iymanikan warlords, who was it that gave you the idea?")--to say he's been through the wringer would be an understatement.

now, here's where we get into the symptoms. it's a short scene, but upon seeing his slave chains in the maze, aventurine does experience a flashback to him first being branded upon seeing it. it's a short one, but flashbacks don't have to be very long (source). he also has it, seemingly out of nowhere, which is something a lot of flashbacks tend to feel like.

and after he gets the flashback and aventurine's future taunts him about it, he tries to change the topic and gets irritated at future aventurine trying to rub salt in the wound.

which is also something the dsm-5 notes as relating to ptsd:

and it's clear that aventurine does not have a good self-image of himself. here's just a few examples:

(source)

and negative self-image is also another symptom of ptsd that is listed on the dsm-5

and considering aventurine is also described as "reckless" by other characters (and literally tries to kill himself in penacony) as well as experiences nightmares, i think it's safe to say he has self-destructive tendencies

now considering how many of the symptoms he has that's associated with ptsd, it's really clear how people with ptsd can see themselves in aventurine, even if it isn't "confirmed" that aventurine has ptsd

however, and i want to note, something about aventurine is that he's a character who's clearly more than his trauma, even if he still is effected by it after it happened. although his self-image is that he's nothing without his luck, the fact hoyo took so many steps to humanize him makes the audience to realize that aventurine is wrong about his worth, and he is worth more than his luck.

from including the detail that he always kept his dad's shirt, despite everything's he's been through, stole his mothers necklace back because it's one of the last things she left behind, giving a gift to the trailblazer in case he never made it back, and even something as small as giving him cat cakes and a messy room in promotional material, makes him relatable and shows rather than tells the audience that aventurine has a life, his own preferences, and his own morals and wishes.

and the fact that he's so much more than just "traumatized", means a lot to me, as someone who has ptsd symptoms. i'm not going into detail for obvious reasons, but constantly being effected by everyday things really does make you feel like you can never "grow from" your trauma--especially since it's something you're constantly reminded of.

but aventurine being a character who's clearly much more than what he's gone through makes me feel really hopeful, you know? it's like a reminder to zoom out and realize there are more aspects to you than your trauma. it doesn't go away, but you can learn to live to a life beyond it, and i think that's a reminder that means a lot to me. and i love the way aventurine is portrayed because of that :)

[the-lark-ascending69]

Hi!! I really loved your werewolf!max headcanons you posted a while back<3

Since the last point was a bit of a gut punch I wondered if you had any hcs about how her werewolf side reacts to/influences her injuries/coma/possible disabilities an the likes

Hiii hello it actually took me a ridiculously long time to find the post you're reffering to but here I have it! Link

Mmm I imagine werewolves are stronger when near the full moon, and they're at their weakest during the new moon. So what I'm imagining is that Max wakes up during the first full moon after falling into a coma, turning into a wolf and running away. No one at the hospital knows how they could have possibly lost a kid in a coma, but the party can instantly tell what's up and they go into the woods to find her.

I swear Max nearly kills Lucas when she sees him. Maybe it's something wolves have - affection aggression turning into aggresion aggression when they're under a lot of stress. She growls and bares her teeth and tbh, Lucas is terrified, but he refuses to leave her despite everyone else telling him to run.

He speaks softly and cracks a joke or two and eventually, she runs into the woods. They find her in the junkyard at dawn, curled up and asleep and naked and covered in dirt. For a moment, they worry she went into a coma again, but then she stirs when Nancy and El wrap a blanket around her, and she insults Steve when he carries her into the back of his car, and they all celebrate because it means she's back.

It takes some time for her to adjust to her new reality. She's left with a lot of problems - mostly her sight and motor skills. Her symptoms fluctuate a lot with the phases of the moon. Around full moons, she can see pretty okay-ish while wearing glasses, even being able to read on her own, but during new moons she's pretty much blind. She can also walk without mobility aids for two or three days a month, even managing to skate a little the day before a full moon, despite being a lot slower. She needs a wheelchair the rest of the month.

Her senses of smell and hearing have always been good, but now they've become so much sharper. She can recognize everyone by scent alone, and by the sound of their footsteps and breathing.

She's tired a lot more after her coma, so if new moons made her a bit moody and sleepy before, now they're much more debilitating. She can barely get out of bed now from sheer exhaustion, but it's fine, her friends got her covered. It's mostly Lucas and El who visit, but Dustin, Will and Mike will come over every now and then and burn down her kitchen trying to bake something decent for what El calls a "boys-girls daytime sleepover" (Lucas thinks that's just a normal hang-out, but El insists that it's different because they're going to bake cookies and paint their nails). The excuse they give her mom is that they're helping her keep up with school, but they always end up watching a movie or playing games instead.

She's at her healthiest when in wolf form. Some nights, she can run, jump, play and hunt just like she did before, without feeling any pain. Most days, though, she can walk and maybe trot, but it always hurts a little bit. There are days in which she could walk, but she's too exhausted and weak to get out of her room. Lucas and El are there for her when that happens, and they just talk to her and listen to some music. It's kind of lap dog behavior, Max thinks, to be an apex predator but lay on a comfy bed asking for head pats from her boyfriend and her best friend, but it's nice. It's different from hiding under her bed all night, back when Neil and Billy were around.

[littlestarlost]

You're Probably Taking Yellowjackets too literally, and there's still time to stop.

So there's like two months until the second season premiere of Yellowjackets, and as someone who was watching the show literally from the night of the pilot premiere, I have some Thoughts about how the fandom reacted to a lot of the show's mysteries at the time of airing, how a rewatch of the full first season feels after getting all that info piecemeal week after week, and how, in my humble opinion, people are simply misunderstanding a MASSIVE part of the show's conceit. So here's that rant, because I just rewatched season 1, and very few shows make me want to write full-blown essays like this one. You should absolutely watch the show if you haven't yet, ESPECIALLY if you are AFAB or femme or were raised and socialized female. Because hooooooo boy.

One: What is Yellowjackets?

Yellowjackets is a television show that made its debut in the last few weeks of 2021. It stars Melanie Lynskey, Tawny Cypress, Christina Ricci, and Juliette Lewis as four women who, as teenagers, survived a harrowing plane crash with their high school soccer team which left them stranded in the Canadian wilderness for a year and a half. The series opens with a scene that really heavily implies that the girls resorted to cannibalism to survive during their ordeal, but we still do not know the specifics of how that came to be.

The show flips between following the adult survivors in the year 2021 and flashing back to the accident in 1996. The four main survivors--Shauna (Lynskey as an adult, Sophie Nélisse as a teen), Tai (Cypress as an adult, Jasmin Savoy Brown as a teen), Misty (Ricci as an adult, Sammi Hanratty as a teen) and Natalie (Lewis as an adult, Sophie Thatcher as a teen)--are all shown suffering from various levels and types of post-traumatic stress disorder, as you might imagine one would deal with if one had survived a fucking plane crash and cannibalism as teenagers. Without going deep into spoiler territory, let's just say that some shit goes down, and the first season concludes without a single piece of eaten flesh.

Two: Why is Yellowjackets Good?

These things are obviously subjective, but in my opinion Yellowjackets is one of the best pieces of fiction ever made about female trauma, specifically. When we meet the four adult survivors, none of them are doing well: Shauna chafes against her role as a stay at home wife and mom, seeking out an affair with a mysterious younger man because her world feels far too small; Taissa is running for state senate, but the stress of the election is causing the breakdown of her marriage and massive stress to her son; Natalie is in and out of rehab, actively suicidal and incapable of self-care; and Misty is a nurse who uses her role as a caretaker to manipulate and control everyone around her. Their various issues all stem not just from the plane crash, but also from the traumas that have been sprinkled throughout their lives up to the crash as well; Misty was a bullied social outcast, Natalie came from an abusive home, Shauna was constantly in her best friend Jackie's shadow, and Tai is a gay Black woman, with more than enough generational trauma to go around.

As a high school soccer team, all of these characters had their place in the hierarchy; but the crash upends that hierarchy. The queen bee is utterly useless out in the woods; the off-putting weirdo is suddenly the closest thing they have to a medical professional (she took babysitting training twice). Being in the closet no longer matters when you have to know how to hunt and clean a deer if you don't want to starve. Being the golden girl's best friend no longer carries the leverage it once did if you're more useful to the group than the golden girl. One person's hidden mental illness becomes a massive problem because she only took enough meds to cover the few days they were supposed to be away; another girls' religiosity becomes a lifeline in a mire of confusion and fear. The adults in the room are gone, and the already complex social structures of teenage girlhood become even more confusing when lives are literally on the line.

Three: What's Wrong With the Response to the Show?

The thing about Yellowjackets is that it has the misfortune of existing in the world that JJ Abrams has made, and JJ Abrams fucking destroyed the concept of mystery for an entire generation. For this, he will never be allowed to enter the kingdom of Heaven. May God have mercy on his soul.

Yellowjackets purposefully doesn't give us all the answers we want when we want them, and the setup of its many mysteries--how did the girls get rescued? Who gets eaten and when? What's with the weird symbol carved on the trees near the crash site?--includes allusions to possible--POSSIBLE--supernatural explanations. And as a result of JJ Abrams being one of the most irresponsible storytellers on the planet, I watched the media and fan response to Yellowjackets spiral into the same kind of mystery-box-solving, "MOVIE ENDING EXPLAINED IN 10 MINUTES" youtube video type of bullshit. It's dismaying because, at least in my opinion, it demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of what the showrunners are actually trying to explore, which is the fact that trauma does not resolve itself when given a tidy answer, and tidy answers simply do not exist anyway.

There are flashbacks inside flashbacks, pieces of the characters' childhoods that help to develop their backstories. One excellent example is the Man With No Eyes, a spectre first introduced in a flashback with Taissa as she watches her beloved grandmother die.

She sees The Man With No Eyes again in the woods, and then again as an adult spiraling into a psychotic episode. More intriguingly, Tai's son Sammy seems to imply knowledge of the Man With No Eyes too, despite the fact that Taissa has never told him about it. So, the fans wondered--how could he know? What could it mean? Is the Man a ghost? Is Sammy telepathic?

No.

The Man With No Eyes is a visual representation of generational trauma, and a really great one at that. Taissa does not come up with him; she learns of him from her grandmother, who sees him in her last terrified moments on this earth; it is a fear that is passed onto her children and grandchildren, despite having no explanation or origin. And generational trauma passes down to your kids, even when you don't vocalize it; that's what makes it generational trauma. Sammy inherits his mother's trauma, and in the absence of an answer he grasps for his own explanations for the spectre haunting him.

Another issue I take is with people trying to red-string-and-pushpin their way into a full explanation of the events we see. The crash survivors find a lake with an abandoned cabin nearby, where they can take more permanent shelter; why was there a mummified corpse in the attic? Why wasn't there a road from the cabin that they could follow to civilization? How far into the Canadian wilderness could they really be, to not be found for nineteen months?

It doesn't matter. If you're asking those questions, then you're not paying attention. You're missing the forest for the trees.

Four: Yellowjackets is a Show About Trauma

The thing about trauma is that it impacts every part of you. Nothing is ever the same, and the great agony of recovery is having to reconcile that painful truth. Another thing about trauma is that it defies logic and reason; there is no reason for why this happened to you and not to someone else. There is no tidy answer for every loose end. A lack of knowledge in the moment leads to actions which have consequences, and all the hindsight in the world can't change those decisions you made.

But one of the keenest and sharpest observations that Yellowjackets makes about trauma is the rather hilarious fact that we are all somehow supposed to just......go on living after it. Without getting help, without rending ourselves to ash and dust to be remade, without shrieking our anguish to the sky until we spit blood--we're just supposed to move on, to compartmentalize and keep going, to show up at work or school every single fucking day and just pretend that we're fine. And that doesn't just apply to major traumas like a fucking plane crash, but to all the tiny little traumas that come along with being a girl in society: the bullying, the ostracizing, the family issues, the generational trauma, the friendship breakups and emotional schisms. Yellowjackets is a show that demonstrates the absurdity of this expectation that we place on everyone in society, but especially on AFABs, to recover and continue and pretend that we aren't being eaten up from the inside. It's a show that takes great pains to reveal that nothing happens in a vacuum; every survivor of the plane crash arrived there with her own traumas already strapped to her back. It's a show that is willing to talk about how surviving something horrible will make you paranoid and anxious and insecure, even 25 years later, because trauma is continuous and healing is not linear. It's a show about reconciling the fact that answers simply aren't going to help, even if you get them someday.

Conclusion: How to Read Yellowjackets

I can't recommend Yellowjackets enough. It's a phenomenal show, especially if you are Gen X or millennial and grew up with these actresses as a major part of your adolescence. It's also a show that is proving itself to be whip-smart, far smarter than JJ Abrams ever was. It's a show that reminds us how cannibalistic teenage girlhood can be on its own, never mind the stresses of a real survival situation. It's a show that talks, openly and honestly, about how many of us simply are not okay, and shouldn't be considered okay, and probably should not be operating heavy machinery. It's a show that is willing to confront the way we need to cannibalize ourselves, consume our own trauma like Saturn devouring his son, in order to return to the world waiting impatiently for the version of us who will never exist again. It's a show not only about MILF rights, but also about MILF wrongs.

[writer1queenjaysblog]

Daddy's baby girl 💕

Yandere Dad Jake x oc.

Sho'ree is the second daughter of Jake and his mate and she was born small and with a extra finger like Lo'ak and Kiri and he's very protective of her and won't let anyone near her not even the Tonowari and Ronal son.

Her age 18.

Jake remember the time that Neytiri gave birth to Sho'ree she was small and weak she was told she wasn't going to make it but she pulled through.

Jake was scared thinking about his daughter dying but she lives through it he was proud of her and was very very over protective of her and he didn't let her go anywhere alone, what if his sweet little baby girl got hurt? What if someone hurt her? How will he get rid of their bodies?! So many thinks went through his mind.

As she got older she wanted to do things that her older brothers were doing like hunting only for Jake to be like: "No absolutely not." She was disappointed "But daddy Nete and Lo'ak go hunting all the time I never go mom goes too." "Because their older sweet heart and you can get hurt."

She tried to tell him that she could take care of herself but he wouldn't budge at all. "Daddy said no princess now go play with with your sisters."

She pout in defeat knowing pushing the situation with her dad wasn't going to work as her mother would back him up "Yes daddy." He smiles as he pets her head smiling "Good girl now go on."

Years went by and Sho'ree was now 18 and she was a beautiful vision her body filled out, curves that made the boys drool over her, smiling at her, filtering and the girls wanted to be her. Jake's yandere over protective fatherly instincts kicked in over drive.

He would have Neteyam and Lo'ak watch her every move. No boy has come Forward saying that they want to court her or be her mate because of Jake giving them the death glares and tell them no and other things that scared them away and they never spoke to her again or anything. Neteyam and Lo'ak were the second reason as well as Neytiri.

It was time to leave home after Miles had her hostage and had a knife under her neck Jake wanted to kill him but he couldn't let his baby girl get hurt so he told him it wasn't over.

Once arrive to their new home Jake looked and saw how Ao'nung was looking at her and his friends looked at her body up and down make his blood boil but he knew he couldn't do anything so he told her to get on the other side of him.

"Baby girl come here stand next to me." He said watching the teen look at his daughter before making eye contact with him with Jake glaring daggers at him. Once settled in Sho'ree was excited she looked at the ocean and wanted to swim and meet new people "Dad I think I'm ready to swim and meet new people especially some handsome boys." She made her family look at her with a stare that was dark.

Jake looked at her in shock "No princess you can't your not old enough." "Daddy I am ready for a boyfriend and..." "And?" "I- I don't think I should tell you guys." "Come on sis."

Said Neteyam "Your brother is right Sho'ree you know better we don't keep secrets in this family." He said as she worked up the courage to tell them "I want to mate." She blushing as Jake looked shocked his little girl ready for mating?!

Having sex with a man?! "Sho'ree honey you're not ready your to Young and pure." Said Jake "But dad I think I am my body has these urges."

"That's the thing honey it's your body it doesn't know what it needs those are wants and your still growing up your body's changing by the time your old enough you'll forget it."

"Now get ready for dinner." "Ok." She knew she was in heat "Jake I think she's ready." "No no she isn't she's still a little girl." "In your eyes Jake but not to them not to those boys..those adult men who see her as any other woman on this island." Jake knew Neytiri was right but the thought of them touching his baby girl sent him into rage.

"No she's not going to mate and no one is going to touch her and if they lay one hand even a finger on my little girl Neytiri I'll make them regret being born." He said unpacking his sons agreed if anyone touch their little sister it will be hell to pay.

"No one will touch or hurt my baby girl nobody I'll kill anyone and everyone in my way if they do." Jake said as she sees her swimming with Ao'nung and his sister and friends.

@lovemyavatar

[crushculture03]

The First Meeting

See Masterlist for warnings

Chp 3 of ‘About you’

Gifs aren’t mine all credit goes to the og creators

Summer 1999

Bobby Singer didn't like visitors, it was well known he really didn't like people in general, well besides his daughter Valerie, who was the only one who could make that grumpy man smile.

The morning of June 2nd loud banging woke both Bobby and Valerie. Bobby pulled his pistol out as he slowly approached the door, "Who the hell is it!" he yells. "It's John, Bobby, '' a voice says. Bobby groans and puts his gun away, opening the door to reveal the Winchester boys. "What John '' Bobby says, clearly not happy to see his friend. "I gotta go on some hunts but can't take the boys, can you watch them while I'm away? '' John asks, and motions to the two teen boys standing next to him.

Bobby sighs and looks at the boys, "Fine, but you owe me big time Winchester '' he grumbles, "Come on boys' ' he says and steps aside so they can walk into the house. "Thanks Singer I appreciate it, bye boys be good" John says, before walking back to his car and speeding off.

Bobby closes the door and looks at the boys, "Sam, Dean wow you two have grown, how old are ya again?" he asks, "I'm 18 and Sammy's 16" Dean says. "Ok, well Sam you're the same age as Valerie'' Bobby says, "Val get down here there's someone I want you to meet!" her father shouts up the stairs.

Sam swears he felt his heart skip a beat when a young blonde girl came down the stairs. "Val, meet Sam and Dean Winchester, Winchesters Meet my daughter Valerie," he says, introducing the teens. "Hi" she says sheepishly, "Hey," the boys say in unison. "Val they're going to be staying with us all summer, can you show them to their room? '' he asks, "Of course" she smiles and motions for the boys to follow her.

The three teens made their way upstairs, "So um this will be your guy's room, there are two beds here, and my rooms down the hall, the bathroom is the last door on the right" She said. Dean walks into the room, throwing his duffel bag on one of the beds, while Sam stays in the hallway next to her. "Thanks, Valerie" he mumbles, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment, he's never been good at talking to girls. "You can call me Val, Sam" she smiles, he nods his head in response before walking into the room. "I'll let you guys get settled in, I'll be in my room if you need me, '' she says before walking down the hall to her room.

"Sammy has a crush" Dean teases his brother, "I do not!" Sam defends himself, even though his deep red cheeks give away his lie. "You better be careful, she's Bobbys daughter and you don't wanna be on his bad side" his older brother warns "But I say go for it Sam, maybe you'll finally get some" he teases before falling back on the old bed. "Thanks, Dean" he mumbles, before putting his bag down on the other bed. "I'm gonna go walk around" Sam says, his brother waves him off before closing his eyes, taking a nap.

Sam walks down the hallway, coming to a stop in front of her door, he nervously knocks on her door. Val opens the door, now out of her pajamas and into actual clothes, "Hey Sam everything ok?" she asks, "Yeah I was just wondering if maybe you'd be able to show me around the property, if-if you're not busy" he stumbles on his words a bit. "Of course" she says, Val couldn't help the butterflies that flew around her stomach when she looked at him.

He steps aside so she can follow her, she walks past him and down the stairs, he follows her. "Well let me show you my favorite place to go, my dad built it when I was a kid and my mom was still around" she leads him outside, the two walking in comfortable silence until they reach a run down tree house. "I know it looks old but it's safe I promise" she says as she climbs the stairs and motions for him to follow her. He follows after her and takes in his surroundings, the tree house was old and worn down but there were two bean bags in there and the remnants of smoked joints and empty beer bottles.

"Wow you're a bit of a rebel aren't you? '' he jokes as he sits down on one of the beaten up bean bag chairs. "It helps ease the pain of some of the stuff I see on hunts and everything, it's nice to get away from it all" she says as she takes a seat next to him.  "I understand that, so Bobby forces you to hunt like my dad does," he asks. "No, he did train me but doesn't force me to go on hunts if I don't want to, I'm sorry your dad does, he sounds like an asshole" she says, which causes Sam to let out a laugh, "you're not wrong about that" he responds.

"Do you plan on hunting when you turn 18, or do you wanna do something else?" she asks, "Well I hope to go to college, I know my dad won't be happy but I don't care, he's controlled too much of my life already" Sam responds. "I hope you get that life" she says, looking over at him and smiling, "Thanks" he responds.

Present Day

"Whatcha thinking about Val" Sam asks, snapping the girl out of her daze. "Just thinking about the summer we met, I remember us sitting in my tree house talking about the future, I'm glad you got your dream" she says before going back to looking out the window watching the scenery go by. "Aw day dreaming about Sammy aren't you" Dean teases from the driver seat, she kicks his seat "Shut up" she snaps. "Hey be careful in my baby you better not have scratched the seats" Dean lectures, "yes sir" she says, saluting him in a teasing way. The three still had a long way to go, not only miles wise, but also in the hunt to find John Winchester.

[lovetransaction]

the brother within: #3

3) being liminal, the dog is the guardian of the threshold, and is thereby a protector of hearth and home, of structure and tradition; and, – Daniel Deardorff, The Other Within: The Genius of Deformity in Myth, Culture & Psyche

When Sam was two months old, a wasp flew in the window and landed on his tummy. Mom had fallen asleep for just a minute, Dean knew she needed a minute sometimes so he didn't wake her up, he stood by the crib and watched the wasp's pointy brown body moving in circles against Sam's so-soft onesie. Sam hadn't noticed yet. Dean put two of his fingers on Sam's tummy and the wasp crawled onto them and it felt gross but he held his breath and walked to the window and the wasp flew back out before he even got there. He went back and Sam was looking at him, and Dean said, "you're ohhhh-kay," the way Dad said it sometimes, which meant that it was.

---

Dean started crying and couldn't stop when Mr. Darling sent Nana out to the doghouse when he watched Peter Pan. He never did finish the movie.

---

There comes a time when Sam has an imaginary friend and Dean doesn't much like it. There comes a time when Sam has a secret dog during secret Flagstaff and Dean doesn't like that either. There comes a time when Sam has both a girlfriend and a dog that Dean doesn't know and that's shitty too.

Dean doesn't like dogs in his car. Dean paid attention to that one Aesop's Fable about the manger, but he doesn't think it applies to him, not really. Who uses mangers anymore anyhow? They'd just burn up in the fire and take the baby messiah with them.

---

"Good boy," Dad says, tired, and hauls Dean onto his lap all sprawled and sideways so he can swizzle his fingertips into Dean's hair and then wrap him up in a tight hug. "You're always taking care of us," Dad mumbles against the side of Dean's head, fingers moving behind Dean's ear as he sighs. They both smell like the tomato and rice soup Dean had managed to cobble together out of a tin of Campbell's and some leftover fried rice, and the tang of it isn't exactly the nicest but it's comforting. Like home. Sam's on the other end of the sofa conked out from eating the last tin of pudding, and Dean turns around until he can settle against Dad properly. The rise and fall of Dad's stomach, the occasional thick way he clears his throat -- he swallowed some kind of ectoplasm on the last hunt and it's still working through his system -- and the swish of Dad's fingers through his hair. Dean's getting too big for this, he knows. But for tonight he made it all feel right, he did it all good, and his brother and father are sleepy and quiet and Dean's a good boy.

---

He wasn't gonna fuck a poodle, come on. Not one that looked like that.

---

"You're me but backwards," Chuck says to him at one point. Dean's still stinging from the don't confuse me with your dad remark, especially since technically Chuck is supposed to be basically everyone's dad, otherwise what's the whole frigging point of the Our Father?

"You're backwards," is what Dean says, and Chuck grins and shoots finger guns at him. "You should've kept your dad's dog tags," Chuck says. "You know what I do with lukewarm things. You should commit to the motif."

Dean doesn't ask what the hell Chuck's talking about. Dean leaves it alone.

---

Sam's the one who guts the hellhound. Dean can't do anything but watch.

---

The bunker is the best place they've ever been and Dean doesn't waste time in making it a home, because Dean knows better than to waste time. For a while after that extra forty in Hell he'd counted his age in dog years, because that seemed to make more sense. But most of that wasn't really living. Most of that was a choke chain, and sometimes he still feels it biting into his throat in Alastair's voice, and Azazel's, and John's. He feels bad about that last one and he doesn't. Dad had outlasted him in Hell, after all. If anybody would understand it would be him.

---

Sometimes, Dean thinks, all of their hard work and sacrifice isn't what they're left with in the end. It all comes down to a miracle.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

@cullen-blue23

I’ve had this headcannon for a really long time: Wen Ning can sing really well (even now as a fierce corpse), but is really shy about it because Wen Ch*o and Co used to make fun of him for it. I really wanna see the juniors (+wangxian potentially) catch him when he’s really in the zone. He just turns to see a small crowd of awed teenagers (Once again I am here with my Wen Ning appreciation agenda)

+

🧟🎶❤️‍🩹(he can sing really well, but is self conscious cause he used to get made fun of. He sings a lullaby for the kids after a bad night hunt. It worked wonders.)

These prompts are super similar so I've decided to combine them! One is from the fluff prompts, the other is from the emoji event. I hope it was worth the wait <3

Uncle Ning, sing to me too!!

The juniors huddle together in front of the campfire, quieter than usual. Their expressions are haunted, still thinking over the happenings in their night hunt, the way they fell victim to those vicious ghosts, the feeling that they were going to die by their hand. The images the ghosts materialized for them to see, the paralyzing fear, the way their bodies shook with the adrenaline of wanting to fight for their lives but being unable to.

Wen Ning showed up at the perfect time, saving their lives and destroying those ghosts - but what if he hadn't? How could they ask to be allowed to night hunt alone if they nearly died in their first mission?

Wen Ning hands each of them a pastry he got from his quick trip to the nearby town. They thank him and bite into the treats, the sweet taste distracting their bad thoughts momentarily. While they eat, Wen Ning stokes the fire, and checks over the surroundings for any dangers.

"Uncle Ning... tell us a story?" Sizhui asks, and he looks so much like his younger, scared self in the Burial Mounds that Wen Ning almost feels life beat into his heart.

"What story would you like to hear?"

"Something nice..."

Wen Ning thinks over a few seconds before taking a seat next to the kids. "When I was little, I used to be very scared of the dark. To be honest, I was scared of everything, but the dark especially. So my mom, who was a cultivator, invented a lullaby that had a protection spell in it. She'd sing it to me every night and so I stopped being afraid of the dark... of anything really."

"What happened to her, uncle Ning?" Jingyi asks as he finishes his treat.

"She became ill and died shortly before the Sunshot Campaign started. A degenerative disease..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, it's been a long time ago... But... I think my mom's lullaby could help you guys... want to hear it?"

"Mhm!"

And so, Wen Ning closes his eyes, and he imagines his mom's kind smile and her beautiful voice, the melody, the soft words of her song. He's both her and himself, 5 years old and 35, parent and child all the same, and if he could, he'd cry.

Sleep, my baby, the stars shine for you

The sun and the moon and the fireflies too

My love will reach you like the sky meets the sea

And they'll watch over you, and I'll join you soon...

It's been so long since he's thought of this song, since he's thought of his mother, since he's sung anything. He hums the melody, and sees himself fall asleep on his mom's chest, with Wen Qing by his side, when the world was still beautiful and alive. When they all were.

Wen Ning opens his eyes, and he's met with the juniors' awed expressions. The fear is now replaced with wonder, and their faces no longer bear the aftermath of a terrible night hunt.

"Uncle Ning... your voice..."

"I know it isn't very good-"

"It's amazing!" Jingyi intervenes, "Can you sing us some more songs?"

"You...like it?"

"Of course! You're so talented! You could make a fortune!"

Wen Ning feels like crying, though he can't anymore. He used to be made fun of, be called all sorts of unkind names whenever he tried to sing - so he stopped. He hasn't sung anything at all long before he even died. Wen Chao would call him a failed circus worker, a worthless artist, whatever he felt like - and now Wen Chao is dead and these kids like him. Like his singing, his stories, his guidance, trust him with their lives.

Wen Ning sings to them all the songs he can remember.

He wishes Wen Qing could hear him too. She used to love it when he sang to her.

[sunnyie-eve]

3 | Don't need you

Series: Uttermost Lifestyle

Paring: Johnny Knoxville x Original female character

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Mention of rape and young pregnancy's

| MASTERLIST |

I've been working with the guys for a few months now and we were all super close. Caiden loved to say he had multiple uncles since his real uncle was a piece of shit.

At the moment I was at the office coming up and going over ideas because Jeff told me to. "Morning." I hear Johnny come in.

"Thought you were off this weekend?" I say looking through the papers.

"Jeff told me to help you with ideas." I look up to see him holding Madison.

"Put me down." She tells him so he does and she comes running over to me.

At times he would bring her to work when we weren't filming and I would play with her so she took a liking to me.

"I still can't believe she goes straight to you. Oh, her mom told me to tell you... she hates you in a playful way because now when she does hairstyles on her, Madison says you do it better." He takes a seat at the table with me.

"Tell her I'm sorry." I laugh putting Madison on my lap. "You really wanna do the cup test?" I look at what he put as different tests.

"For number one Caiden already volunteered to kick." He lets me know.

"You asked him?" I give him a look.

"He asked me about what I had in mind and he said can I kick you. I'm scared why he volunteered so quickly."

"Because he'll get to be on tv. He loves you almost as much as he loves Chris, so it's not because he doesn't like you." I laugh.

"Okay, that's a good reason." He makes me laugh more.

~

After a few hours of working on bits, I have to get going to pick up Caiden from my parents place. "Wanna go get some lunch?" Johnny asks picking up Madison.

"I have to go pick up Caiden from my parents house. I'm sorry." I get my things together.

"Then let's go get him then go eat." He smiles.

"You're gonna follow me around?" I laugh.

"To your place so you can park then we can go get him in my car. Let's go." He heads out.

I shake my head heading out too and he follows me home so I could get in his car. "Well now you know where I live." I laugh getting in his car.

"I'm sure I was bound to know at some point." He laughs so I tell him where my parents live.

When we get there we park and get out since I soda I might be awhile because my parents love to talk forever.

"I'm here!" I shout opening the door.

"Mo- JOHNNY!" Caiden runs past me going to hug him so he puts Madison down who holds onto my leg in a unfamiliar environment.

"I feel the love. You know what." I pick up Madison, "You steal my son, I steal your daughter when she's with you and not her mom." I walk into the living room with Johnny holding Caiden on his back.

"So we finally get to meet the Johnny Knoxville." My father laughs.

"Hello Mr. Hunt." Johnny gives him a polite smile.

"We can't stay much long because Johnny is taking us all out to a free lunch." I say making him look at me.

"I didn't say free."

"You offered so it's free." I laugh.

"Well have a good lunch." My mom says as we all leave.

When we get to a restaurant we go inside taking a seat at a table. Most of our meal was good with Caiden talking about school and stuff. We also continued to talk about upcoming bits.

"Mom." Caiden stops laughing getting super serious.

"What honey?" I ask seeing him stare in the distance so I turn my head to see Kyle sitting at a table alone watching us.

"What? Who's that?" Johnny looks where we were looking.

"We're ready to leave." I make the table look nice.

"Yeah, okay." Johnny calls the waitress for the check.

"He keeps staring mom." Caiden stares at the table.

Last week Kyle showed up to my apartment banging on the door threatening me since I won't let him near Caiden. I recently made it to where Kyle had no visiting rights because how he's been get worse with showing up in unwanted places. The school had to call the police because he got past the office walking around the school for Caiden.

"Just don't look at him." I tell him as Johnny pays so we can leave.

"Have a good day." The waitress tells us as we get up to leave.

"Let's leave through the outside area so we don't have to pass him." Johnny takes my free hand with his free hand.

As we get to the car Johnny helps us get in as I see Kyle come out the front to watch us. When we get back to my place Johnny stops me while Caiden takes the keys to go inside.

"You need to get a restraining order against him. I could tell how scared you both were. What happened recently?" He asks me.

"Last week he threatened me and trust me I know. Thank you for lunch." I give him a smile shutting the car door going to my apartment.

Caiden goes to his room wanting to take a nap so I let him. As I started to head to my room to change clothes there was a knock at my door. I look out the peephole to see Johnny.

"What?" I ask confused.

"We're stay here with tonight because I saw your ex park outside." He comes him with Madison shutting the door locking it behind him.

"We don't need you here." I let him know.

"I don't care if you don't need me here. I wanna be here." He puts Madison down.

I just stare at him as he gives me a serious worried look. "I don't have a third room for you two." I knew there was no changing his mind.

"I can sleep on the couch." He looks over at it.

"What about Madison?" I ask because I only had one couch in my shitty apartment.

"I can make it work."

"No, you guys can just sleep in my room. I'll sleep with Caiden in his bed. We can both fit." I walk to my room and he flows me while Madison watches what Caiden put on tv before going to his room.

"I don't wanna kick you out of your bed or Caiden." He sits on my bed as I look for clothes to change into.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch." I walk I to my bathroom taking my hair down to brush.

"Well what are we gonna do to fix this problem?" He asks as I get undressed to change clothes.

"I'll share my bed with you both. It's a king so it's big enough for three." I look at him so he looks at the whole bed.

"And your comfortable with that?" He looks back over at me.

"Johnny, I'm changing in front of you right now and I've basically showered with you. I think I can share a bed with you." I laugh at him.

"We have sorta become close friends since you saw my dick. Chris was right about that." He laughs.

"I'm gonna be best friends with the whole cast at some point then." I fall back on to my bed.

"Tell me the full story of you and your ex." He says making me groan.

"We met through our friends. His best friend was dating mine at the time. We started talking and hanging out. He was really sweet but he had a terrible temper so he could turn into a whole other person in a second. We started dating and back then, I was the one that could calm him down. When it came to the night I got pregnant with Caiden, I didn't even wanna go to the party so that meant I didn't want to drink. He kept pressuring me to drink more and more. After one I knew it didn't feel right anymore and that was because he drugged it. All I can remember is his walking me to a room to lay down and he said he'll make me feel better. I woke up the next morning terrified not remembering anything and how I ended up naked. I thought back to the last drink making me break down. I got dressed and when home crying to my mother. I told her everything and she told my dad. They went to the police and Kyle's parents but no one believed me because I had no proof. We were both just drunk stupid teens who tries out sex for the first time. After that he was pissed I would told someone and threatened to do it again with me all there to know what's going on. He refused to let me end things until I found out I was pregnant. He wanted nothing to do with what was growing in me making me fat. He avoided me like didn't even exist."

"And he randomly decided to pop back in on Caiden's 6th birthday getting his hopes up." Johnny remembers what I told him.

"Yeah. Caiden was slightly excited to finally meet his father because he didn't know him. But when Kyle would cancel last minute or never show, Caiden gave up on him. He's terrified of Kyle from spending only a couple of hours with him on day." I explain to him.

"What happened?"

"He won't talk about it to me or Chris. It worries me because he's my baby and I wanna know what Kyle did." I start to get upset.

Johnny hand grabs my hand pulling me to sit up and wraps his arms around me making me start to tear up. "I wish he was comfortable to talk to me about it." I start to cry into his chest.

"I'm sure he will at some point to help get it off him. Don't think you're a bad mom because he hasn't told you yet. Like he's your world, you're his world too. You're all he has." He rubs my back.

"Thank you for this." I say in the hug.

"I'm here if you ever want to talk about it." He says making me laugh.

"I meant the hug but that too." I say making him laugh now. "You should go check on Madison." I get out of the hug.

"I forgot about her." He gets up rushing out of the room.

[spnwin-reader]

Prime Dean gives Alt John the tools to unlock the truth and decide for himself if he will hunt

Original run context: John's feelings of betrayal

In the original #SPNprime, John was not allowed to fight for or defend himself until it was already too late. This made the wound of Mary's death much, much deeper than it would have otherwise been.

Unlike with Sam keeping the truth from Jess out of shame, Mary's keeping the truth from John may stem from incredible fear, watching Azazel kill him in The Beginning.

(It's perhaps more akin to Dean symbolically blinding Lisa and Ben to the truth to keep them safe than how Sam was with Jess.)

But the in The Song Remains the Same, John (temporarily) learns the truth, and he is (rightfully) frustrated by having been kept in the dark. He feels intense betrayal. He feels like a child.

JOHN: Monsters. Monsters? MARY: Yes. JOHN: Monsters are real. MARY: I'm sorry, I didn't know how— JOHN: And you fight them? All of you? SAM: Yeah. JOHN: How long? MARY: All my life. John, just try to understand— DEAN: She didn't exactly have a choice— JOHN: Shut up, all of you! Look, not another word, or so help me, I will turn this car around! Silence falls.

/// LATER ///

JOHN: What? Y'all might have treated me like a fool, but I am not useless. I can draw a damn— (JOHN picks up the paper from next to a large knife.)—whatever it is—a sigil.

///

Original run context: Mary continued to hunt near/during the beginning of her marriage?

In Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox, we learn that it could've been Mary who created much of the tension in their marriage by potentially stepping out on John to hunt, calling into question if the fight shown between them in Dark Side of the Moon.

MARY: "No, John. We're not having this conversation again. Time to think? About what? You have two boys at home." DEAN: "I remember this. Mom and dad were fighting, and then he moved out for a couple of days." MARY: "Fine. Then don't. There's nothing more to talk about."

Now we wonder: Was this fight even John's fault to begin with? The stereotype of "angry husband" might lull you into thinking so, but it's equally possible that it was Mary that originated the fight--Mary who had a long, canon-supported history of lying. She's even the one shutting down the conversation here!

Mary would probably rather John think she's unfaithful than risk John being dragged into hunting, and she'd probably pivot to supporting their kids as an excuse to smooth things over. (Just as Cas would rather Dean assume anything so long as he's not dragged into the dangerous world of angelic Civil War).

Alternatively, the fight may have even been part of the normal ebb-and-flow of a marriage. It may have been that the fight looked a LOT bigger through the eyes of a sensitive four-year-old.

(A couple of days ain't even that long, but boy it sure does feel big when you're a kid. But just because their marriage wasn't "perfect" doesn't mean it wasn't good, and the Dean-Sam conversation completely misses on that front.)

//

One of the things post-season 12 in #SPNprime does so beautifully is calls into question everything we know about Mary, including the cartoonish idea of John as the root of all evil.

Mary's lies are given rich complexity, as is Dean's memory of her.

Everything in Dark Side of the Moon, from the idea of "Heaven" as the "perfect place you grow up" to being simplistically at peace with your siblings/"littermates" in the ideal childhood home forever is given more complexity by the narrative unfridging of Mary.

(It's why the gate to Heaven is always associated with a playground. "There's no place like home," is literal in SPN. Heaven can even be seen as the idealization of childhood, as sharing the same history.)

///

Dean helps John because Dean was also "locked out" during critical periods in his life, prevented from Danger "for his own good"

Dean feels this pain acutely in season 6, when Samuel Campbell, his brother Sam, and Bobby Singer keep him out of the larger hunting plot in order to "keep him at peace."

Despite their good intentions, this denied him the right to choose for himself if he'd meet The Fight head on.

Cas, too, does this with the angelic Civil War, with Kelly Kline, general "angel business," and The Empty deal, and Dean feels that as unintended rejection.

He feels, like John, coddled. Like a child. Not getting the chance to be an equal comrade or partner in the fight.

///

Here, prime Dean is giving John the key to discover the truth about monsters and Henry's Men of Letters heritage.

Certainly John has a lot of emotional baggage and childhood abandonment trauma to work through, but at least this time he'll have more agency ahead of time, and he'll get to choose which path to prepare for rather than having the world of monsters thrust upon him in the midst of a grief-spiral.

Dean has handed that power of Choice back to John.

Perhaps prime Dean too is wounded from being kept in the dark. Perhaps he longs for a world were he's known about Cas's The Empty deal instead of, like John, being blindsided and struck dumb by grief.