#modern vikings request
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avelera · 8 months ago
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thesis about the sea peoples you say? may i request an infodump about the sea peoples?
Heya!
So, basically in college (undergraduate) I got really obsessed with the questions around the Collapse of the Aegean Bronze Age, mostly because I wanted to set my big Magnum Opus historical fiction novel in that time, and the deeper I dug into the rabbit hole the more it appeared that no one, absolutely no one, actually knows why the civilizations around the Mediterranean all fell from a state of pretty sophisticated internationally-trading civilizations to literal Dark Ages (all except for Egypt which was substantially weakened and never really recovered), all at once around 1200-1100 BCE.
The Sea Peoples are the names of the only contemporary (Egyptian) account we have that names who might have been responsible if this collapse was due to an invasion. It's a popular theory because a viking-style invasion is a much sexier reason for a civilization to collapse so we all gather around it like moths to flame. But the thing is, there's a lot of contradictory evidence for and against and shading that hypothesis.
Suffice to say, literally no actually knows what happened and almost every answer comes up, "Some combination of these things, probably?"
But what makes the Collapse even more interesting from a modern perspective is that if there was a historical Trojan War (and I think there was) as fictionalized in the Iliad and the Odyssey (and Song of Achilles, for the Tumbrlistas), then it would have taken place within a generation of the entire civilization that launched the Trojan War crumbling to dust.
So like, if you're Telemachus, your dad Odysseus fights in the Trojan War, some even manage to get home, and then like... everything goes to shit. Catastrophically. And doesn't recover for 400 years.
Seriously, they lost the written word, like how to actually write things down and read them and it took 400 years to get it back. That's how fucked shit got during the Collapse of the Bronze Age.
So my thesis was asking: what if these two things were related? What if the Trojan War either led to the Collapse or it was part of the Collapse or it was a result of the Collapse? Because the timeline is so unknown and muddled that it really could be any of those and again, that's if the Trojan War isn't entirely fictional (which I don't think it is, but many academics disagree, it used to be a whole thing up until Schliemann dug it up, and many doubted it was ever a historical event even after that.)
Ok, so at the risk of writing 75 pages on this again, let me just say:
My conclusion (more of a hypothesis proposal ultimately since there are so many gaps in our knowledge) was that the Trojan War took place before the Collapse of the Bronze Age. But, it might have been launched in response to a wider breakdown in trades routes and resources, causing the Greeks to launch the campaign basically as a bid to replenish their own coffers because they were getting squeezed by what they didn't know was the first rumblings of a global domino effect.
Therefore, since taking out Troy didn't solve those larger trends and forces, they all went home and then got slammed by the REAL problem, which was all the people who had been displaced from further away by this rolling drought or invasion or whatever that was disrupting these delicate international trade routes.
But the Greeks might have been part of the Sea Peoples too! Our only record of the Sea Peoples is from the Egyptians in a highly propagandistic text which makes them sound like this big fearsome foe but that might have been because saying, "We slaughtered a bunch of desperate refugees at our border who were looking for shelter," didn't sound as cool. If the Greeks (or Achaeans or Ahhiyawa) got swept up in this slow-rolling collapse/displacement of people, then they absolutely could have been among those refugees who crashed against the shores of Egypt.
A lot of my evidence was based on looking at how Troy was sacked (it was stripped literally down the nails and there was a lot of evidence of a long-term siege, like what we read about in the Iliad) vs. how Mycenae (Agamemnon's city) or Pylos (King Nestor's city) was sacked, where they were burned and stuff was stolen but they weren't stripped, it looks more like a standard looting hit-and-run type thing. Which led me to believe that it was different turmoil that rocked Mycenae and Pylos than what led to the sacking of Troy, despite the fact these things happened within about 20 years of each other. (Helen being a made-up reason for a resource-driven war would only be the oldest trick in the book, as far as propaganda goes, after all.)
But really, the craziest detail I'll leave you with is: we just don't know! And then it gets weirder. Because the Hittites fell at the same time so the Hittites scholars say, "Nah, the Sea Peoples weren't Hittites, they were probably Greeks." And the GREEK scholars say, "It wasn't us, it was probably the Hittites or someone else. " and the EGYPTIAN scholars say, "Yeah it was someone north of Egypt, maybe the Hittites or the Greeks." and the LEVANT scholars say, "It wasn't from the Levant, we know what was going on there, it has to be from somewhere else."
Literally every single possible source of the Sea Peoples has the scholars who specialize in that location saying it's not them and it must be the guy next door.
It's maddening!
And then there's a big ol' gap around Bulgaria and the Black Sea because, oh yeah, the Soviet Union forbade archaeology in those areas to quash any local pride so those places that were behind the Iron Curtain are decades behind on scholarship that would allow them to say, "Oh hey, it was actually us! Yeah, the invaders came from Bulgaria and got pushed down by a famine." or something to that effect.
We also have some histories from the time saying that the Sons of Heracles returned not long after the Trojan War to lay Greece to waste! And it's really evocative and sounds like it fits what we've got of all these burned cities that happened right after Troy fell! Except that's in doubt now too!
The latest theory is that it was climate change that led to a massive drought. You can read about it in the latest and most popular book on the subject, 1177 BCE which I highly recommend because if it had existed when I wrote my thesis, I wouldn't have had to write it.
But I disagree with the conclusion! Or rather, I'm skeptical. Because very decade, the problems of the day have been hypothesized as being the cause of the Collapse. Like, in the 60s, there was a theory that maybe it was internal strife around a labor strike, like the French Revolution. And y'know when there's a world war, they think it's an invasion. And there was a theory that it was 'cuz of an earthquake (I think that one is nonsense, Mediterranean civilizations famously bounce back quickly from earthquakes.) And now that climate change is on our mind, I'm a little weary to see that it's the new theory because it feels way too much like we're just projecting our problems onto this giant question mark.
Was climate an aspect! I think so! I think it might have contributed to the break down in trade routes that made everyone in the Mediterranean really stressed out and hostile and warlike and led to a lot of displacement. I'm not sure if it's the only reason though and I think the book just kinda reiterates everyone else saying, "I think it was this but in the end, we just don't know, and it was probably a lot of things." which we've known for ages so it's just repeating all the same conclusions. *sigh*
... Like I said, I wrote my thesis on this so yeah, I could go on for a while lol.
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writingoddess1125 · 1 year ago
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Welcome! Request: CLOSED
My name is JC and I love writing!
KOFI
I Write Mostly Angsty Slice of Life but always open to request!
Masterlist below -
10/28 updated
MARVEL
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XMEN
Kurt Wagner
1999 (Ongoing)
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Pt. 4
Pt. 5
Blowin Me up (Ongoing)
Pt. 1
ONE PIECE
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You Take Care of Their Hair
You get High with Them
Old Men Series Masterlist
Zoro,Luffy,Corazon Child Series
Crocodile, Law, Sanji Child Series
You Take their Hat
You Cook for Them Even though You such at It
How Strong the Old Man Gene's Are
They Lay on your chest
You give them a Massage
You give them Facemask
Drunk + Spiked
The Moment they fell in love with you
Just a Peak
You Die at Birth
(S)cream
Weird Relationship Milestones
Buggy The Clown I'm your Biggest Fan (Completed)
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
My Heart Breaks (Completed)
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Theater Brat (Completed)
Theater Brat
Theater Bart Pt. 2
Theater Brat Pt. 3
Fell In Love Alone (Ongoing)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Jessica and Roger Rabbit Effect
Part 1
Part 2
My Anchor
Solo Act
Not Flashy
Your Seat Awaits
Trouble Comes in Pairs Pt. 1
NSFW Alphabet
Buggy find out about thirst traps
Buggy finds out about thirst traps pt. 2
Not all Silver and Gold
Pain and Pleasure
Switch Things Up
Boardwalk Artist
Poppy Kisses
First Bounty
Modern AU Buggy -> Part 2
Secret Headcanon
Ocean Eyes
Drunk teasing with bestie
You get him a Corgi
Paints on S/O
Roronoa Zoro
Favorite Bartender
N$FW Alphabet
New Parent Zoro
Dancing With Swords (Ongoing)
Part 1
Luffy D. Monkey
Luffy realizing he's in love with you
Warm Mornings
Thunder Buddies
Sanji
Moral Support
Friend Like Me
A Girl to Love
Usopp
Bar Adventure
Shanks
Tag Youre It
You remind me
My Shooting Star
Mihawk
Call Me Sir
Only Us
NSFW Alphabet
Tag Youre It
My heart lies with you
Fight for pleasure
Look up Darling~
Daddy Mihawk
How and Why?
Crack
Morticia and Gomez Effect
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Its Done
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Crocodile
So Annoying
MISC.
Capitan Kuro X Reader
Alvida X Reader
VIKINGS- Coming Soon
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CALL OF DUTY
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Relationship Fluff
Medic of 141
Simon 'Ghost' Riley
Dumb cat that loves Simon
Finds out about thirst traps
Blip on the Radar (Ongoing)
Part 1
Part 2.
John 'Soap' McTavish
Koing
Finds out about thirst traps
But do have other interest and willing to write about other Animes, Cartoons, Shows and More!
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lisinfleur · 3 months ago
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MASTERLIST - Vikings Content
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Once this blog was entirely turned to the Series Vikings. Now that we're opening new themes, this post is a way for you who liked my Vikings Content to keep track of my old works so you can come back in time and enjoy them one more time!
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This masterlist will have content related to:
The series Vikings and its characters.
Series and side works made by Vikings Cast
Original characters in the series' universe - on demand
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⁑ Anything with more than 2 chapters.
WIPs:
No WIP at the moment.
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Finished:
Universe | Crossover Kriger x A Bond Between People
Et Bånd Mellem Krigere Pairing | Mads x Joy, Adrian x Reader Info | Fix It AU, crossover Kriger x A Bond Between People. ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, heavy ANGST, SMUT included, cursing, mentions of murder, blood, violence, drugs, death. Caution is recommended: the following content may be triggering.
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Universe | Vikings
Curse Pairing | No pair Info | Viking Age AU, Fantasy AU ⁑ Warnings: Horror, heavy ANGST, cursing, fictional creatures, mentions of death, mutilation, black magic, murder, major character deaths, blood, and violence. +18
Face the Music Pairing | Hvitserk x Plus Size! Reader Info | Viking Age AU, Requested by @thiahilmarsdottir​⁑Warnings: ANGST, romance. Mentions of fat-shaming, betrayal. Erotic content.
For the Sake of All Pairing | Sigurd x Blaeja Info | Viking Age AU, multiple shots related to one another ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, Fluffy, romance, +18
His... His Only Pairing | Alfred x Reader x Ivar Info | Viking Age AU, multiple drabbles related to one another ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, ANGST, romance, mentions of death, burning, betrayal, and some cursing. +18
Lady of the Lake Pairing | Sigurd x OC Info | Viking Age AU, Fantasy AU ⁑ Warnings: ANGST, romance, fantasy creatures, some cursing, mentions of death, blood, violence, and some horror. +18 
Mishaps Pairing | Hvitserk x OC/Reader Info | Modern AU, Dark AU, Mobster AU, Criminal Vikings AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, ANGST, SMUT included, cursing, mentions of murder, blood, violence, kidnapping, betrayal, 18+
Payback Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Modern AU, Mobster AU, Criminal Vikings AU, Dark AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, ANGST, cursing, mentions of murder, rape, death, violence, abuse, drugs, and torture. +18. Caution recommended: the following content may be triggering.
Rangsælis Pairing | Ubbe x Wife! Reader Info | Viking Age AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, heavy ANGST, SMUT included, cursing, mentions of murder, blood, violence, rape, violence against women, heathenry, death. 18+ Caution recommended: the following content may be triggering.  
Ravished Pairing | Ubbe x Reader Info | Viking Age AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, heavy ANGST, cursing, mentions of death, murder, violence, dirty talk, torture, rape, women humiliation, and violence against women. +18. Caution recommended: the following content may be triggering.
The Wolf, The Dog, and The Maiden Pairing | Hvitserk x Reader Info | Viking Age AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, heavy ANGST, cursing, mentions of major character’s death, underage death, murder, and violence. +18. Caution recommended: the following content may be triggering.
Through & Through Pairing | Ivar x OC Info | Viking Age AU ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, heavy ANGST, SMUT included, cursing, mentions of murder, blood, violence, crimes, torture, slavery, death. Caution is recommended: the following content may be triggering.
When You Weren’t Here to See Pairing | Sigurd x Siggy Björnsðóttir Info | Viking Age AU, requested by multiple anons ⁑Warnings: Mentions of child abandonment and sensitive themes, incestuous relationship (uncle x niece), SMUT, familiar conflicts.
Wrong Choices Pairing | Sigurd x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, Werewolves AU, Alpha x Beta x Omega Dynamics ⁑ Warnings: NSFW, SMUT included, ANGST, Fluffy, romance, mentions of violence, blood, wounds, and cursing. +18
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⁑ Little texts, scenes, and little fics with 1 or 2 chapters.
WIPs:
No WIP at the moment.
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Finished:
Universe | Cast 
Marco Ilsø
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Universe | Vikings
» Ragnarssons Team
Björn Ragnarsson
Ubbe Ragnarsson
Hvitserk Ragnarsson
Sigurd Ragnarsson
Ivar Ragnarsson
Neutral Shots
» Viking Team
Ragnar Lothbrok
Harald Finehair
Other Vikings
» Saxon Team
Alfred, the Great
Other Saxons
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⁑ Masterlists for the general events of this blog: ¹For the events focused on a single character, please check the character’s personal masterlist!
2019 Holiday Event - From: Us, To: You, With Love Universe | Vikings Cooperative event with @honestsycrets​ 
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Take a look at the links below and enjoy!
Ragnarssons In - Archive Part I and Part II All Ragnarssons reactions headcanons already published
Headcanons Archive - Vikings Content All Headcanons already published for Vikings
Plot List - Vikings Content List of ideas and plot starters for you guys Please, credit if use!
NSFW Prompt Challenge All drabbles published for Vikings in this kind of challenge.
Drabble Challenge All drabbles published for Vikings in this kind of challenge.
Valhalla Panel Scenes The Ragnar’s Sons went to Valhalla together and they’re now around the same table, drinking, feasting, fighting, and answering whatever you want to know!
» Followers Celebrations (Vikings content):
600 Followers Celebration Drabbles  
700 Followers Celebration Drabbles
1000 Followers Celebration Drabbles
2000 Followers Celebration Drabbles
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bumblesimagines · 6 months ago
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Under The Moonlight
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Part 16
Request: Yes or No
Summary: Seven years have passed since (Y/N) and the crew arrived to Constantinople. They've settled in since then, but life has not been easy for them.
CW/TW: Violence, war, religion bashing, vikings being vikings, period era situationships lmao, angst?, hurt emotionally and physically but barely any comfort, red flags? dont know her, (y/n) im begging you there's better fish in the sea
If you're new here and wondering where this came from, you can check out part one here and the masterlist here!
~~~
Seven years had passed since Emperor Romanos offered his sincere gratitude for ensuring the safe passage of his new wife, Eleana who they now were to call Empress Zoe. His gratitude reared its head through riches, rewards, and a place amongst his people, as well as a place amongst his army of men trained to kill and conquer the land of the empire's enemies. Constantinople was home now, even if temporarily.
They'd all settled in, although it'd taken time to grow accustomed to the vastly different culture and language. It'd been a difficult feat for (Y/N), his longing for his real home never dissipating amidst the heat and flourishing city. He missed his settlement in Greenland, his old friends, dearly missed his beloved mother who'd no doubt presumed him dead when he and his siblings hadn't returned home from their voyage. He longed for the cold and snow, the sound of the wind howling at night. 
Leif and Harald, ever the adaptable ones, slotted in perfectly with their surroundings.
Harald climbed the ranks with ease, finding himself a stranger no more to Emperor Romanos as his personal bodyguard and newfound general of his own army: the Varangians, an army full of Vikings and mercenaries in need of a home and money. It'd been expected from a Viking prince to slither his way up and coil around such an important role. He ensured the crew joined his army, and took part in the fighting and rewards. But it was never enough for Harald, no matter how many riches he acquired through the years. Nothing was ever enough for him.
Leif took to Mariam's old home and called it his own, his newfound thirst for knowledge only growing after he read through all her books and eventually began seeking it out in places called 'libraries'; rooms of knowledge, he explained. Each time they traveled to fight another war for Emperor Romanos, he sought out the writings and maps of those places, learning new information from ancient and modern times. The sciences of the world around them enthralled him, captivated him into an obsession. (Y/N) preferred it, though. He preferred his brother's eagerness over watching Leif lose himself in grief again. 
As much as (Y/N) found himself feeling out of place, fighting for the Byzantine Empire and calling Constantinople had given him much to do; and provided him with chances to see places he never would've dreamt of seeing. Such as the place they'd traveled to now, to defeat the Saracens at the urging of General Maniakes in Sicily. They'd been fighting for six months in what felt like an endless siege, and Emperor Romanos had begun growing antsy. 
(Y/N) squinted through the darkness as he walked through the tunnels they'd been digging for the past few weeks, a lantern tightly gripped in one hand and held before him. His eyes slowly grew accustomed to the darkness around him, allowing him to better see the crevices in the dirt walls around him. Short wooden beams and planks held the dirt in place, preventing it from crumpling and trapping those within. All a part of Leif's plan, as always. 
"How are we doing, Kaysan?" (Y/N) called out once the man came into view, flashing him a smile and being rewarded with a large one in return. Kaysan chuckled and wiped his hands along his pants, the subtle stink of sulfur lingering in the air around them. Foul-smelling enough to bring tears to one's eyes, but Leif insisted it was needed for his plan to work. 
"Your brother is working on the last of the sulfur we need. He says once it is ready, we can set the plan in motion." Kaysan answered, taking a step back to admire the combined work of the last couple weeks. Bundles of sulfur had been pushed into holes expanding across the wall of dirt, ready to be lit by a flame that'd bring down the tunnel and subsequently the wall of the fortress just mere feet above them. "I must admit I had little faith in his plan at first. But seeing what this powder can do when a flame is close to it..." Kaysan shook his head lightly, a twinkle of admiration in his dark eyes. 
"It is hard to match up to such a creative thinker as Leif." (Y/N) chuckled, his steps slow as he walked along the wall and took in the wall before him. He'd always known his brother had been destined for great things, whether on land or sea. Leif had inherited the best parts of his parents. No longer the savage son of Erik the Red. No, that title had fallen on (Y/N)'s shoulders, and he accepted it. 
"Come now," Kaysan gave his shoulder a small playful push. "You hardly need to match up to him, (Y/N). You're a smart man, and a loyal one at that; and, from what I've heard, you're quite charismatic when you wish to be."
"Have you been gossiping with the others, Kay?" (Y/N) questioned with a teasing grin, casting a glance at the man over his shoulder. It hardly counted as gossip, he supposed. Things with Harald never lasted long, whether he pulled away first or Harald did, but they always returned to each other in a desperate clash. It was vexing and tiresome, and he'd made up his mind a long time ago to put his foot down when it came to the charming prince. 
Kaysan gave a light shrug. "It surprised us, is all." 
The thumping of footsteps, soft panting, and clinking of lanterns swaying filled the tunnel, and (Y/N) had heard the panting noise enough times to recognize who it belonged to. He made brief eye contact with Kaysan and turned, raising his lantern high and smiling at the sight of his brother, although it faltered slightly when Harald appeared behind him. 
"Keeping an eye on things?" Leif asked, his hand rubbing affectionately into (Y/N)'s shoulder when he passed him by. The two Vikings carried sacks slung over their shoulder, no doubt the last of the sulfur they needed to ensure the wall would completely collapse and allow them within. (Y/N) gave a silent nod, feeling Harald's eyes burning into the side of his skull.
"Future King of Norway," Kaysan greeted teasingly, patting Harald's arm and taking the sack from Harald so he could insert the last of it into the dirt walls around them. Harald chuckled breathlessly in return, tearing his eyes away from (Y/N) to study the dirt room. (Y/N) allowed himself to watch him, taking in the grime and blood covering his exposed biceps and face. He'd ridden off to battle once more, no doubt a failure as all the battles before. 
"As soon as we take this castle," Harald murmured, his hands coming to rest at his hips. (Y/N) swallowed, his gaze sliding away from the beautiful prince as bitterness settled in his stomach. Despite the years that'd passed, Harald's mind never changed on what he truly desired above all else: the throne of Norway, one occupied by the son of a man Harald once considered a close friend. 
"Is there really as much treasure inside as you say?" Kaysan asked, voice strained as he worked to shove the rolls of sulfur into the wall with Leif's help.
"Enough to fund all our dreams," Harald replied. 
(Y/N) hooked his lantern on one of the wooden posts and crouched down beside him, rolling up the dark blue sleeves of his tunic and revealing the ink along his right arm. The creature his mother would tell tales of back in his youth; a sea monster that resembled an octopus but grew to be as large as a warship named Kraken.
The head and body of the began around his bicep while the tentacles expanded and wrapped around his forearm, stopping around his wrist. He understood why so many others covered themselves with ink, whether writings or designs. The Kraken reminded him of his mother, of all the times he spent on a boat watching his brother and father hunt for narwhals and other sea beasts. 
Dipping his hand into the sack, he wrapped his fingers around one of the rolls and carefully lifted it before he pushed it into one of the holes in the wall. He rolled it side to side, scrapping and mushing dirt until the roll was securely in place. He mimicked the movements with a few more rolls, absentmindedly listening to the three men speak about the plan until he finished, his fingertips lightly dusted in the vibrant yellow powder. (Y/N) stood back up and turned, nearly barreling into Harald's chest plate. 
"Can we speak?" Harald asked softly, and (Y/N) felt his skin burn at the knowing glances cast in their direction from Kaysan and Leif. 
"We have little to speak about, Harald." (Y/N) told him, scooping his lantern back into his hand and making his way through the tunnel. Harald followed him because the man never took an answer he didn't want, and (Y/N) largely ignored him until they reached the entrance of the tunnel and stepped out into the blinding light of the late evening. 
"There's much to speak about, actually. Starting with the most important thing-"
"The throne?" (Y/N)'s features scrunched up, his spotty vision slowly adjusting to the daylight around them. He blinked a few times and his vision finally focused on the bustling camp around them. His gaze darted back to Harald's face, catching the grimace that passed over his features at his words before the general cleared his throat. 
"No, I do not... I don't wish to speak of the throne. I know how you feel about it. You know how I feel about it." Harald frowned, his lips nearly covered by his thick beard. He took the lanterns from his hands and hung them up by the entrance, a heavy sigh escaping him. "You've done well in Constantinople for many years. I've seen you flourish. You're not as guarded as you once were. If you can do well in a court like the Emperor's, you'd do even better in a Viking court amongst your own people." 
"Except it'd be your court with Christian jarls and Vikings who believe me worshipping a god that isn't theirs is a crime punishable by death. Your religion loves violently, Harald, as do its supporters. They'd condemn you for everything you've done with me." (Y/N) scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief and walking forward deeper into camp toward his tent. They'd had the conversation many times over the last few years, a neverending dance of push and pull trying to tire each other out into admitting defeat. But they were Vikings, and Vikings never gave up easily. 
(Y/N) stepped through the flaps of his tent and released a heavy sigh, his feet guiding him to the basin sat on the table filled with warm water. He dipped his hands inside, cleaning the dirt and sulfur off his fingers until the water turned murky. The tent flaps rustled with the arrival of someone else stepping into his tent and he peeked over his shoulders, half-expecting to see Harald but only seeing Dorn. She smiled at him, her hands and sleeves of her blue tunic steeped in dark red. He crinkled his nose. 
"Trust me," She sighed. "I know how it smells." 
"Come wash your hands, then." (Y/N) smiled, picking up a rag and drying his hands with it as she stepped up and eagerly rinsed her hands clean of pig's blood. Her eyes flickered up toward him a few times, her lips twisting and teeth digging lightly into them. He tilted his head at her and took a seat at the table, reaching out to pluck a grape from the bowl in the center. "What is it, Dorn?" 
"Batu and I were speaking the other day, and the topic of you and Harald came up." She began softly, thumb roughly rubbing into the skin of her palm until the streak of blood disappeared. Dorn raised her drenched hands toward her face, wiping off the grime and splatters of blood that'd collected on her skin. "I always wondered what went wrong between you both. When we meet... it seemed as if you two had much unspoken business. Then, during our trip to Constantinople, it all became clear. You were lovers, or former lovers, it was hard to tell at times but you... loved each other. We thought you had reconciled from whatever had occurred and yet..." 
"I've come to learn that love is complicated, and at most times it's the worst thing that can occur. Harald is... a lot of things, too many things, truly. If you are worried that the same will happen between you and Batu, I can certainly assure you that it will not. Batu loves you, Dorn. I can see that you love him. You're happy together, content. Neither of you desires more than what you have now. Harald does. He hungers for far too many things, and it will eventually be his ruin. I do not wish to be dragged along with him." 
"But you love each other?" Dorn questioned, wiping away droplets of water from her chin and drying her hands on her pants. (Y/N) plopped the grape into his mouth and bit into it, feeling the juices explode along his tongue as he mulled over her question. He loved Harald, he knew that well, but part of him resented him too. Most days, Harald made him wonder if he loved him, or merely lusted after him.
"It's complicated." He answered quietly, and Dorn winced, giving a meek nod and turning on her heel to leave the tent. He watched her depart, a mixture of emotions coiling around his heart and constricting it. (Y/N) released a shaky inhale and ran his hand over his face, forcing away the thoughts of Harald and their odd relationship to focus on preparing himself for a good night's rest and a long morning. 
Seven years had passed, but it barely changed either of them.
The following morning, (Y/N) and the others awoke and began preparing for the day ahead before the sun had even risen over the horizon. They changed into clothes more worthy of battle, putting on their armor and chain mail before collecting their weapons. (Y/N) secured his dagger to his hip and retrieved a battle axe, a hefty yet powerful thing that'd do more swift damage than his dagger. By the time the sun rose, the Varangian army had gathered around awaiting instructions. 
"Ready?" Leif asked softly, instinctively reaching out to check the straps of (Y/N)'s armor. The younger man smiled and allowed him to do so without fuss, a soft chuckle leaving him when Leif gave an approving nod, his fingers running over the chain mail before his arms dropped back to his sides. 
"As always." (Y/N) sighed, glancing at Harald when the prince approached them. The deep furrow in his brows softened when they locked eyes, the determination in his gaze disappearing into a look of longing. Harald had grown over the years, all his training with a disciplined army making him stronger, and larger. His hair had grown, as had his beard, and on the days the two managed to keep the peace without arguments, Harald allowed him to trim them. He looked older, more king than prince, and it made his stomach churn to admit it to himself.
Harald walked past them with a nod, coming to a stop at the entrance of the tunnel and peering into the darkness inside where Batu and Kaysan waited for the right moment. They were to draw the attention of the soldiers and coax them into attacking first so the flames from their attack ignited the trail leading to the sulfur. Once ignited, the two had to run before the tunnel exploded and the wall fell. Harald raised his battle axe and lightly tapped the bell, the one Batu needed to ring when the plan sprung into action. 
"You never were good at waiting, were you?" Leif arched a brow, wrapping his fingers around the bell to stop it from swaying and tolling. A small, playful smile tugged at Harald's lips. "Patience. It won't be long now, friend."
"Patience is hardly one of Harald's best attributes." (Y/N) murmured, a hint of teasing in his voice that drew Harald's lips into a full smile. Harald's hand reached out toward him, his palm pressing over his hip and sliding over his lower back; fingers dipping under the silver armor and pressing into the fabric beneath. His touch always felt protective and safe, but it never failed to fill (Y/N) with a false sense of hope. 
"It has always been one of yours, though," Harald spoke softly, his fingertips rubbing the fabric into (Y/N)'s skin affectionately. His eyes crinkled, and despite everything that'd been bubbling up inside (Y/N)'s stomach, he returned the smile. The prince's hand moved to the base of his neck, squeezing the exposed skin there lightly. To any strangers, it may have come across as two close friends merely speaking. But it was simply because Harald couldn't touch his face in public as he desired. "We should speak after the battle, (Y/N). I cannot allow another day to pass without us having a conversation." 
Pursing his lips, (Y/N) gave a small nod and wrapped his fingers over Harald's wrist. "Fine, Harald." Harald's features brightened and he leaned in, pressing their foreheads together before he released him as the bell began to toll. 
The enemy had fallen right for Leif's trap, just as they had hoped. 
Harald clapped Leif's shoulder and trekked back to his post atop a mound of dirt overlooking his army of seven hundred men and women. He began his speech, his words of encouragement riling up the army into cheers and shouts, warrior cries and calls. (Y/N) lingered by the tunnel's entrance, searching the dark for any sign of Batu and Kaysan as the army erupted into more cheers and cries. He spotted movement and Batu emerged, his armor slightly singed and parts of him coated in ash. (Y/N) waited with bated breath for Kaysan, but he never emerged, 
"Leif," (Y/N) turned to look at his brother, giving a light shake of his head. Leif's jaw clenched and he inhaled sharply, tossing his axe to Batu and motioning for him to join the others before he entered the tunnel, the darkness swallowing him and voice echoing off the walls until it grew distant and hardly audible. 
The cries and war horns sounded off through the valley as the army moved, rushing toward the wall their tunnel had led to. The ground gave a light tremor, and through the darkness, Leif emerged with Kaysan leaning on his body, a trickle of blood seeping down from his temple as dark smoke escaped from within the tunnel. (Y/N) called over one of the healers, helping his brother hand Kaysan off to the older man before the two turned and spotted the wall crumbling into a heap of smoke and dust. General Maniakes' men sprinted into action, following after the Varangians and joining the battle. 
"Come!" Leif called to him, taking two axes for himself and running toward the fortress with (Y/N) hot on his heels. 
Stepping through the rumble of the fallen wall, all that could be heard were cries of anger and pain, the clashing of metal against metal, and the thumping of rushing footsteps as all armies hurried to fight and defend. (Y/N) moved forward, locking onto the first Saracen soldier he saw and swinging his axe. The soldier blocked with his shield and then pulled it away to thrust his sword forward, but (Y/N) anticipated the attack and dodged, raising his axe and embedding the blade into the side of the soldier's throat. 
Taking the shield for himself, (Y/N) used it to block attacks from other soldiers, shoving them back and into expecting Varangians who struck the soldiers down with cries and heaves. The first wave of soldiers fell easily and (Y/N) heard Harald's victory cry sound off throughout the air, the tight crowd dispersing throughout the fortress to attack, take, and conquer as they made their way to the castle. The people residing within the walls had quickly fled to the castle for sanctuary, leaving the place largely deserted apart from the second and then the third wave of soldiers. 
By the time they reached the castle gates, Emperor Romanos had joined them, and with his appearance came a plea for parley that momentarily stopped the fighting. (Y/N) found his way to Leif, standing beside him and Dorn as the gates into the castle slowly parted, revealing soldiers inside and the people that'd taken refuge watching from windows or along the roofs. Their ruler, the Emir of Syracuse, waited in the center, clad in clothes and robes of gold and black. He walked forward, and despite his city having been sacked, his face remained unreadable. 
"Emir," Emperor Romanos spoke, "We have reached your barbican and taken your city. Your castle is surrounded. I have come to ask for your surrender, to save your people unnecessary suffering and death." Leif stepped forward, beginning to repeat his words in Arabic but the Emir raised his hand to stop him.
"A translator is not necessary. I understand you perfectly." He said, waving Leif off before he turned his attention back to Emperor Romanos, his dark eyes studying the shorter man before him. "There will be no surrender. As we speak, a great Saracen army is on its way from Cairo and Alexandria to join us. When it arrives it will be you who is surrounded and destroyed."
"For your sake, you should hope it arrives soon." Emperor Ramons responded.
There seemed to be a certain smugness that passed over the Emir's features, finally breaking the serious stare. "We are not worried. We have food and supplies to last us many months."
"But no water." Leif piped up, and the smugness promptly vanished, the furrow in Emir's brows disappearing and the corner of his lips turning downwards. "Syracuse has six wells. I diverted water from five. Your supply will last a week at most." 
At that, Emperor Romanos grinned. "Perhaps your allies will reach you and destroy us before that happens, or perhaps they won't and..." His eyes raised and dragged over the people watching and listening, amongst them women and frightened children. The Emir's head turned and (Y/N) followed his line of sight to a woman with three children at her side, all of various ages. His wife and children, he assumed. "Syracuse will perish. But either way.. many will die. And all will suffer."
"Then I offer another solution," The Emir said, tearing his attention away from his family to look back at them. "Single combat between two fighters. If you are victorious, Sycaruse is yours and you have my promise that my warriors will not retaliate. If you lose, you must depart and not return. Either way, my people must not be harmed."
"And who would your warrior be?" The Emperor inquired with a slight tilt of his head. (Y/N) glanced toward Harald, and then General Maniakes. The brutal, hate-filled man had hardly done much to win his ruler's approval over the last days, at least in comparison to Harald who'd handed him the fortress on a golden platter with little trouble. The Emperor himself would never fight, but he'd certainly unleash his favorite dog on the enemy. 
"Me," Emir answered icily. "And yours?"
"I fight for the empire." General Maniakes deep voice rumbled as he stepped forward but Emperor Romanos raised his hand to stop him, shaking his head and turning to look over his shoulder at Harald. The corners of his lips twisted up into a smile, one that made General Maniakes scowl and glare viciously at Harald.
"You will fight my Varangian." Emperor Romanos responded, striding forward toward the Emir and giving a dip of his head. "And you have my promise. Your people will not be harmed and our agreement, honored."
(Y/N) remained silent the walk back to camp, his gaze bouncing between the floor and staring holes into the back of Harald's head as they entered Leif's tent alongside the others. He approached the basin and dipped a rag inside, roughly wiping his hands and face clean to distract himself from his churning mind. He could feel the irritation creeping up his back, an annoyance he couldn't quite pin on anyone. Batu sharpened Harald's axe in thought, the sound filling the silence while Kaysan helped Harald adjust his armor. 
"If we were in Novgorod, I could sell a thousand seats and make enough to retire," Batu said and laughed heartily, his words only reminding (Y/N) of the countless times Harald had thrown himself into battle without thinking. He scarcely had good memories of Novgorod, and the ones he remembered vividly were of Harald bloody and battered. 
Without thinking, (Y/N) sent Batu a glare sharp enough to get his friend to hurriedly clamp his mouth shut and wince. He cleared his throat and diverted his eyes, subtly motioning for Kaysan and him to make their exit. Kaysan nodded and stood up from his stool, giving Harald a pat on the shoulder as Batu handed him his axe back and smiled encouragingly before the two quickly slipped out of the tent; leaving Harald alone with the two brothers. 
"We can select three weapons. I'll start with the battle axe." Harald spoke, approaching the weapon's table and setting the axe alongside the rest. (Y/N) inhaled deeply through his nose and rubbed his fingertips against his temple to soothe the beginnings of a headache away before it could consume him. Leif remained equally as silent and it finally made Harald cave. "You're both quiet, which means you're either angry or worried about something. Perhaps both."
"I worry you underestimate him," Leif revealed with a sigh, raising his head to look at his friend with a growing frown. Harald scoffed, his brows furrowing as his eyes darted between the two brothers, almost as if offended they'd doubt him. (Y/N) squeezed the water out of the rag and set it aside to dry, finally looking up at the prince. 
"I underestimate no man who's trying to kill me." Harald retorted, turning his irritated stare onto the weapons spread out in front of him. "We'll both be fighting for our lives." 
"No, only you will be." Leif's lips formed a grim line, feet moving slowly as he approached his friend and motioned in the direction of the castle. "He is fighting for his people."
"As am I-"
"What people? Yours or Romanos's?" Leif questioned him sharply, arching his brows and drawing a scowl from Harald. (Y/N) leaned his hip back against the table, his arms folding over his stomach. Harald and his short temper... it was a mystery how the man had lived for so long without getting himself killed.
"I fight today for the same reason I've been fighting for the last seven years! For treasure." It stung, even if (Y/N) had seen it coming, piercing his stomach and sucking him dry of the false hope. "So I can return to Norway and assume the throne of my people, which is rightfully mine. Nothing else." 
"I am glad to hear my brother and I are hardly considered things you fight for, Harald, after we've spent the last seven years fighting and living in a foreign country for you." (Y/N) seethed, and the tension in Harald's shoulders disappeared, his eyes squeezing shut and a silent curse forming on his lips. His chest heaved with a sigh and he stepped past Leif, his arm extending to grab him but (Y/N) smacked it away with a scoff. "I can understand caring little for a bedmate but Leif deserves to be someone you fight for after everything he's done for you." 
"A bedmate- (Y/N), I-" 
"Enjoy your fight, General." (Y/N) shoved past him forcibly and rounded the table before Harald could attempt to stop him. He threw the flaps of the tent apart and stepped out into the sunlight, taking a sharp inhale of the fresh air to calm the fury and hurt dancing along his veins. His fingers wrapped around the handle of his dagger, allowing himself to take a few more steadying breaths. 
He'd made the right decision years prior, he reminded himself. Harald proved it to him time after time. He just needed a reminder every once in a while, even if it hurt.
(Y/N) avoided looking in Harald's direction once he finished preparing for the fight, only focusing on following Emperor Romanos into the castle where they'd set up an area for the fight. He broke away from the Emperor's tight crowd to stand behind the table where Batu placed Harald's other two choices of weapon: a smaller battle axe and a sword, with the larger battle axe being the one he walked into the makeshift arena with. 
"He didn't mean to say it like that," Leif said quietly, always the one forced to make peace between them. (Y/N) pursed his lips and clasped his hands in front of himself, his fingers wrapping tightly around his palm. "I know you called yourself a bedmate to hurt him, (Y/N). You've seen how desperate he's been these past three years; you've seen how he gets when he hears you have a new lover. You are much more to him than that."
"But not enough to desire a different destiny for himself." Leif fell quiet at that, his softened eyes gazing into the side of his brother's face before he sighed softly and looked forward toward the two fighters when they entered the arena and assumed their positions. Despite his lingering hurt, worry jabbed at his stomach for Harald. 
Harald moved first, swinging his axe upward to knock back the Emir's sword, but the Emir moved swiftly, turning on his feet and facing Harald before he could turn around. Harald's jaw ticked and he studied his opponent, switching which hand held the axe before he charged again, grasping the axe with both hands and taking a few swings at him; metal clanging through the air as the Emir swiftly blocked each swing with his sword until Harald turned his axe and slammed the blunt end against his chest, forcing him back a few steps. 
The Emir grunted and grabbed Harald's axe, shoving it back and mimicking his movement as he slammed the handle of his sword repeatedly into Harald's chest which forced Harald to stumble backward and just barely dodge a swing from the sword. The Emir charged, giving Harald hardly any time to dodge another swing but he managed to duck down in time and create some distance between them to reassess his approach. The Emir sneered, baring his teeth and grasping the handle of his sword with both hands. He was a good fighter, as all rulers had to be. 
Harald charged again, slamming the end and top of his axe repeatedly against the Emir's side before slamming the top near his armpit and forcing him back roughly against the stone wall. The Emir released a shout at the impact and shoved the axe away, slashing his sword at Harald and missing his chest plate by an inch or so. Harald swung again, only for his axe to slam into the wall and break in half, leaving him without a weapon. 
With the half still in hand, he managed to defend himself by blocking the Emir's attacks as he sprang and walked backward toward the table. He threw the broken piece at the Emir's head, nearly hitting his ear, and swiftly turned on his heel to snatch both weapons from the table. He faced the Emir once more, eyes narrowing when the Emir approached his own table and took two new swords into his hands. They stared at each other for a brief moment, catching their breaths. 
The Emir charged first with a cry - perhaps growing emboldened with the trickle of blood seeping from Harald's brow - and swung both his swords at him relentlessly, turning and swinging as he followed Harald's quick dodges. Harald nearly sank his axe into the Emir's face in a quick turn but the Emir dodged it in time. They continued back and forth, swinging and dodging hits from each other with grunts and cries. They moved viciously and relentlessly, switching between fighting offensively and defensively within seconds as they grew more enraged and desperate for a win. 
Harald managed to swipe at the Emir's feet and knock him onto the gravelly ground, the Emir's foot rising up quickly to slam into Harald's knee and knock him down into a kneeling position. The Emir moved onto his knees as well, the blows they swung at each other forcing them to remain kneeling until the Emir launched himself forward and Harald threw himself backward, both men rolling along the floor. Harald moved onto his side and attempted to stab the Emir in the side with his sword but the Emir slashed right through the blade, leaving him with a sword resembling a knife. 
The two men scrambled upright and assessed each other again, sucking in large gulps of air and staring each other down. Harald switched the way he held his broken sword and the swing-block dance resumed until Harald swung at the Emir's and was cut just above the elbow. He released a cry of pain and sound around, wincing as he touched his bleeding arm before looking up at his opponent. The Emir stared at Harald, his breathing turning wheezy and his feet staggering. (Y/N) caught the gleam of the broken sword jammed right below the Emir's armpit. 
The Emir raised his arm and stumbled forward again, a look of distraught passing over his features as he fell to his knees and slumped forward. While Emperor Romanos's men erupted into cheers of victory, (Y/N) couldn't help but look in the direction of the Emir's wife, watching the tears stream helplessly down her face. Her husband had fought bravely, not just for his people but for her and their children. (Y/N) bit the inside of his cheek. 
His father had fought and killed countless of men, simply because he could and felt like it, but at least in Greenland, when you killed a man it was because it was necessary. For food, shelter, to defend your family. But in Constantinople, they took lives to make an emperor richer. They killed for treasure they hardly used, and for little else.
(Y/N) grimaced. He missed home.
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fantasydreamland · 6 months ago
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Welcome to my little dreamland 🏰
This blog is 18+ only !!!
Here to share the fantasy worlds I love & write a little smut. There’s simply not enough wlw fanfics. I’m bi so I love to share all my fictional crushes 🤍
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Thank you everyone for all the support so far! Y’all inspire me to keep writing 🤍 I had planned on only writing the ONE Margaery fic & now here we are lol
My stories:
GAME OF THRONES
Lonely Nights - Khaleesi 🤍🔥⭐️🌈
Queen in the North - Sansa Stark 🤍🔥🌈
Handmaiden - Margaery Tyrell 🤍🔥⭐️🌈
Gossip - Margaery Tyrell 🔥🌈 (sequel)
Secret Admirer - Margaery Tyrell 🌈
My Saviour - Jon Snow 🤍🔥⭐️
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON
Unspoken Love - Rhaenyra x Alicent 🔥🌈
Fun Wife - Aegon Targaryen 🤍🔥⭐️
Betrothed - Cregan Stark/Aemond Targaryen 🤍🔥⭐️
Mine - Aemond Targaryen 🔥 (sequel)
VIKINGS
Answered Prayers - Ragnar Lothbrok 🤍🔥
How the Viking men would look at you after inviting them to your bed 💋
Touch of a Goddess - Ivar Ragnarsson (COMING)
VIKINGS VALHALLA
New Friend - Leif Eriksson 🤍
LORD OF THE RINGS
Angel - Arwen Undómiel 🤍🌈
Sorceress - Legolas Greenleaf (COMING)
EMILY IN PARIS
La Vie En Rose - Camille Razat 🤍🌈
OUTER BANKS
How I imagine kissing Sarah Cameron 💋🌈
How I imagine kissing the Outer Banks boys 💋
Outer Banks boys ~ Kinks 💋🔥
🤍 = personal fav 🔥 = extra smut ⭐️ = popular 💋 = blurb 🌈 = wlw
they all have a little fluff & smut
(always open to requests - any shows/movies listed in the hashtags - I don’t write modern au)
🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇦🇮🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇵🇱
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qqueenofhades · 7 months ago
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Can I request a further rant on Alice Albinia's The Britannias please?
Anonymous asked: 'Further rant available upon request' here is my official request.
Aha. You are both prompt and accommodating. And it is my lunch break, so let's do this!
For context, this is the book in question:
This book was recently published, comes highly reviewed and (as I said) has apparently already been longlisted for some prestigious nonfiction writing/women's prizes. I got it from the library the other day and started reading it; I'm about 150 pages in. It has given me an increasing Itch to the point where lo, yes, here I am on Tumblr about to compose a Statement. This may be because of what the book blurb states upfront as its focus and goals:
Trespassing into the past to understand the present, The Britannias uncovers an enduring and subversive mythology of islands ruled by women. Albinia finds female independence woven through Roman colonial reports and Welsh medieval poetry, Restoration utopias and island folk songs. These neglected epics offer fierce feminist countercurrents to mainstream narratives of British identity and shed new light on women's status in the body politic today.
Okay... well. Basically, she wants to write a history of Britain as focused on its islands, which in itself is a perfectly valid thing to do. As she states in the introduction, focusing on the history of a place through its physically and geographically marginalized locations, its relation to the "mainland," the constructions of power and identity, how one resists and influences the other, is all a very interesting thing to do. It's just how she does it that gives me a twitch. Her clearly stated goal is to find a "hidden women's history" wherein these "fierce feminist countercurrents" are allowed to inform and eventually subvert a totally androcentric and oblivious mainstream British history that has apparently prevailed largely unchallenged ever since antiquity, and where the Male Process of History deliberately destroyed and excluded all female contributions. She is somehow, apparently, the first one to notice this and/or put it together.
Now I'll be honest, the Secret Magical Women trope also gives me a twitch wherever it appears, whether in saccharinely self-important historical or fantasy-historical fiction or in this case, attempted historical nonfiction. Albinia's thesis also seems, essentially, directly lifted from Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon fantasy series in the 1980s: the pagan Celtic/British tribes were egalitarian, proto-democratic, female-led and/or female-centric, and the conquering Romans/Christians/Saxons were all virulently misogynist, masculine, authoritarian, and determined to stamp out this wherever it appeared. I have only gotten up to about the year 1000 (it goes chronologically), so I can't speak to what rationales Albinia comes up with for the later centuries, but let me just say: Hmm. It says a lot about the overall style of this book that I read the first 10 pages and then immediately picked up my phone to check Wikipedia and see if she was a TERF. As far as I can tell, fortunately, she isn't, but it does give me the same binary gender-essentialist vibe (men are from Mars, women are from Venus), and yikes. Basically, there are a lot of things going on here, and all of them are Not Good when it comes to the actual practice and investigation of premodern women's history:
First, while Albinia cites a few research articles (via endnotes) and translations of primary sources (thus far, mostly Roman and early medieval) we know nothing about her qualifications for using these sources, how she is comparing and analyzing them, whether they should in fact be taken at face value, whether anyone else has written on these topics (spoiler alert: yes), or why we are supposed to buy her narrative of this Hidden Female History of Britain. For example: she includes several passages from Roman writers discussing (reported) actions or (reported) mythologies of British women or British female-associated places. These are presented as uncritical and general fact, or something which we should apparently assume was really happening as described, even when she (occasionally, and shallowly) points to the issue of using exterior and non-contemporary male writers from far away. Her analysis also does not touch at all on the potential metatextual or political impulses these Roman male writers might have for presenting a freshly conquered imperial territory as corruptly or unacceptably feminine, and whether this correlated at all to an overall real-world practice or belief. Yes, as far as we can tell, the ancient Celts were in some ways more "feminist" than the Romans, in that Roman public culture was deliberately and exclusively masculine and patriarchal and any civic participation by women in other societies would thus appear as more than usual. But that is a whole can of worms for many reasons, none of which are highlighted or dealt with here. (Like... are we even going to talk about how the "Roman standard" for society was itself re-created by the Renaissance and how that shapes Western historical views, or...?)
As I said above, the book completely brushes aside any of the previous existing scholarship on these topics (done, you know, by actual historians) and presents it as Albinia discovering these issues or formulating these arguments for the first time. She does mention a few other people whose work she relies on or who are informing her hypothesis, but several times thus far, this is from the 1920s or some other clearly outdated argument. Nobody in the field is still treating arguments made in the 1920s as au courant, and while I can't say for certain, it reads as her being more able to access older or public-domain work (since more up-to-date publications require institutional access or paying for copies) and doing the equivalent of the people on Wikipedia who cite the 1911 Catholic Encyclopedia for everything: they can get that text for free, so that's what they refer to. Now obviously, we all support uncovering feminist strands of history, doing feminist history, challenging heteronormative or patriarchal narratives, etc. But also, we support doing it well and making some reference to the complexity of it!!!!
Likewise, Albinia is a white British woman whose previous books are based on her time living and traveling in India and Pakistan (both of which are, uh, previously British colonies). I have not read them, so I can't speak to how she treats it, but there's certainly an element of exoticizing them here, and while she does make passing reference to the British Empire's effect on those places, she does a sort of weird inverse here. She obviously knows about the basic facts of empire and colonization, but there's a notable amount of time dedicated to portraying ancient/Celtic Britain as the helpless victim of constantly brutal Roman colonization (she makes a few very brief and offhand references to cultural miscegenation and how this process unfolded in ways apart from violence, but they are clearly secondary to her main thesis of this as a masculine rape analogy). She is very clear about mourning for this "sacred divine [female] Britain" which was then destroyed by the unrelentingly violent and misogynist forces of Roman (cultural/military) and Christian (religious) colonization, and as I said, that is straight up Marion Zimmer Bradley. I haven't gotten past said first 150 pages, but I'm not terribly confident that her historical analysis improves much in the centuries to follow.
The book does have some bright spots: it's well written, it's engaging, she includes some colorful and interesting sociological vignettes about life on the margins of modern Britain, and there are certainly some things she's mentioned that I would like to look into in more depth. But yet again, this is being presented as an Authoritative or Revelatory History deserving of recognition and prizes, when there are real historians who have done so much of this work and in so much better ways. There is very little nuance to her thesis, no context or analysis or critique provided for her sources (yet again: why are we supposed to take Roman men as an authority on British women and why is she presenting them as obvious empirical fact while critiquing all other elements of their system/society?) and some squicky assumptions around gender and empire that really would need to be drawn out and examined in more detail. The Secret Magical [Pagan] Women Erased In History By Brutal Men gimmick is one that got a lot of traction with Philippa Gregory (sidenote: bookstore websites really need to stop recommending me Philippa Gregory for Women's History Month before I do crimes), and has been exasperatingly hard to eradicate ever since. Just to name one, we need to talk a lot more about the gender politics of medieval Christianity, any of the work done on this topic already, or anything else that would complicate her argument beyond the simplistic black-and-white state in which it currently exists. There are plenty of historians who would like to do that! Why don't you give some of THEM a call?!?!
Anyway. There is probably more I could say (and might), but I will leave it here for now. Thank you for the indulgence, etc.
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How would Vikings react to Ivar being remembered?
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summary: it's in the title :)
notes: no warnings except for maybe mentions of death
tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @levithestripper @cookielovesbook-akie @leithdragon @demon-of-the-ancient-world @alicedopey, @ivarlover @batmandallyboy @akayxo09 @vrtualfairy @esme-viridian (hmu to be added/removed!)
masterlist | based on this request
Ragnar
Pretends he always knew (eugh he’s such a bitch ong)
Nooo I would never set my son out in the wild… meeee? No wayyy…
He takes credit for it for his ‘great parenting’ and ‘legend genetics’
If Ivar had any legend genetics, they came from aslaug
Aslaug
Proudest mom out there, acts like a soccer/pta mom when she hears
Aslaug actually always knew
She quotes her prophetic dreams from like, 853 AD?
“I knew since I was five years old.” (truth)
Lagertha
Okay? Who cares? What about Bjorn?
Totally not pissed that he may be more famous than she is (lie)
Defo sulks about it to torvi and then kills someone important to expand her own legacy
She’s in the fame biz
Bjorn
Bro throws a toddler tantrum
He will literally stomp the ground
“That’s not fair, I discovered the Mediterranean!!” (he says that in the stupid tone he gets in the later seasons)
So so bitter about it (he deserves that)
Ubbe
Ubbe’s smoking weed in America with Floki
He does not care
“That’s just bad taste from people from the future. Me personally? I’d admire the person who found a continent. Idk, that’s just me though.”
Gets over it the fastest
Literally just thinks that it’s so dumb of modern people bc Ivar is a silly little guy with anger issues
Hvitserk
Similar reaction to Ubbe, except he doesn’t have to get over anything
Just kinda shrugs, he’s too busy worrying about his own legacy
What’s he in the history books for? His cuisine skills?
Yeah, bro’s kinda busy managing his own shit and trying to stay alive
Sigurd
Don’t tell him
For your own safety
Will kill you and then himself
Ivar
Don’t tell him either
Never lets anyone hear the end of it
So so so annoying for a silly little guy
He just loves and hates himself so much that, at the same time, he so needs to hear this and also never, ever hear this ever at all
Floki
Floki is the same as Aslaug, he KNEW
Also, he takes credit for raising ivar and being a father figure (fair enough)
He’s a teeny tiny bit sad that ivar was friends (in a weird homosexual way) with Alfred though (kind of, and this only applies if we’re talking about tv show Vikings)
Honestly, Floki would be such a good source to add to the material we have of ivar
Ecbert
So mad he didn’t have a bigger impact on ivar
Also so mad that all the kids around him have such big legacies (Alfred, ivar) but not him??
He wants to get mentioned!! Footnotes aren’t enough!! He needs to be the main character, always.
Gets sad drunk over it way too long
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puppetmaster13u · 10 months ago
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I am slowly rotatin a crossover idea. A Batman and Flight Rising crossover, but perhaps slightly httyd themed-ish. Because I am just weak to feral cryptid batfam, and I am also weak to dragon-rider batfam.
So there are dragon hunters, vikings, general people living on islands, by shore, etc. Less modern, more httyd-fantasy-esque. But there's also things like the mechanical golems and such that can be found in FR. So less technology, more magic and spellwork and runework. Which I mean, already exists in base DC anyway.
Now the batfam specifically, I adore and love the idea of batfam living with dragons almost Valka style with a hint more feral.
Now here is what I think each of their backgrounds and an idea for each dragon would be.
Alfred- He still raises Bruce after his parents death at their request, but also might have gotten carried off by dragons. Thankfully, they were not part of the local Queen's nest meaning he didn't get eaten. He's done his best to raise Bruce- and the children he keeps bringing back the the dragon Nest to not be completely feral.
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Bruce- Like Alfred, he was carried away by dragons in the middle of a raid. Technically he was actually in Alfred's arms but y'know. He was about nine at that point and spent a large chunk of his childhood playing and wrestling with dragons. Will I be including dragonese in this? Good question. Despite Alfred's protests the moment he was old enough he started sneaking out of the Nest and both watching and gathering things from any nearby- or far away in some cases- human settlements. Eventually Alfred gives up and goes along with him to properly teach bartering and such- and Bruce ended up in a couple of apprenticeships, including a couple with blacksmiths. Which helps when he starts creating his own designs and ideas.
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Dick- Bruce kind of just spirited him away after the death of his parents. They were part of a circus of sorts, that did different shows, including a dance of sorts on dragon-back, which they did. So Dick finds the dragons around the nest comforting, especially when he just arrives. He also, much like Bruce, starts sneaking out, despite Bruce's own attempts to stop him. Which is how the whole dragon-people (thanks to clothing and armor covered in dragon scales, alongside wing-capes and such) myth starts gaining traction.
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Barbara- Now I feel like she's more of a Hiccup-figure, albeit well liked by the rest of her village, as her father is either chief or the captain of the guard. Her and Dick befriend each other during one of the 'civilian' outings, aka when Dick & Bruce weren't all cryptid. But it also, Dick does slip slightly and accidentally gives her the idea of dragon-training and taming. Her goal is to train a dragon and convince the rest of her village of it, and sometimes joins Bruce in dragon-trapper raiding thanks to Dick insisting,
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Jason- This lil gremlin wasn't exactly trapping dragons, but he stole broken traps and other things and traded the scrap to anyone he could for food and other supplies. He also has a bit of a pickpocketing habit. Dick might have laughed when he got Bruce, which is how he kind of got caught. He was very wary at first, but already half feral and the weird dragon-people have food and oh my stars, Flying! He is still a child after all, and was very excited about that sort of prospect.
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Tim- So can't exactly do the whole neighbor thing with him, seeing as the batfam lives in a dragon nest. That doesn't stop him from seeing them- and the dragon flocks- fly by from his window. His parents are merchants, and he's left alone a lot. Which directly plays into how he eventually runs into the batfam. Well, technically he runs into Jason first, though recognizes Dick from the Grayson show. Look, what was Jason supposed to do, there was a small child at the edge of a building that was on fire! And he recognizes Dick, so it's not like he can't take him, right?
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Steph- Steph is easy. Tim ran into her while she was freeing dragons from her father's ship and honestly, he did not kidnap her. She, kidnapped herself. Honestly he doesn't know where the heck she even came from, she just climbed on one of the dragons without a care in the world, smoking mask and hood and all. She almost explodes herself more than once and has a lot of insider information about the dragon trappers, and happily tells her new friends. According to her she was practically an orphan anyway, but at least with this she doesn't have to worry about being a "proper girl" according to her village elders.
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Cass- Similar to Steph, her father is a dragon trapper, albeit a far more notorious one. Also a bit of a mercenary for higher, who isn't afraid to steal and murder, and used her to his advantage in assassinations. Similar to canon she fled upon her first kill, albeit with any caged dragons who hadn't already been killed for skin and parts. She kind of just wandered for a while, before the dragons led her to the batfam's Nest. And she's gotten far more used to dragon body language than human, so it's a relief to be able to communicate and understand once more.
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Duke- Duke was in a bit of an accident, thought he knows it's not that despite what everyone else in the village said. He knows his parents were poisoned, and he knows that the house bursting into flames wasn't from a dragon. Well, technically not from a wild dragon, he saw the chains and armor and everything else even if nobody listened to him. Which is what spurs him and his friends into attempting to find out why and who is attacking the villages little by little. Bruce and them aren't entirely sure what exactly happened, but Duke and his own dragon were the only survivor on that stolen boat, and they can recognize both acid and fire.
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Damian- Damian, I am unsure about, because I'm not entirely sure where the League of Shadows would stand in a world like this. But he would still be Bruce's son. And I am thinking that the league would use magics, that's probably a part of the whole Pit. Which actually could fit with a lore thing with FR. But still, not entirely too sure, y'know? But he would end up with Bruce eventually, already with a dragon or would get one upon arrival.
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And that's all I have for now lol. Thoughts?
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madhatterbri · 6 months ago
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Fight | J.W.
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Summary: Jay puts up a fight to save himself and Y/N.
Author's Note: If anyone has any requests for modern Jay, I'll gladly do them. Just this man screams Viking/ Captain. I mean, why have a Bang Bang Cart when you can have a Bang Bang ship?
Also, play the Virtual AEW Escape Room I created.
Taglist: @plentyoffandoms
Pure fiction
Dark clouds covered the night sky, making the two pirate ships almost impossible to see. Rain poured down on two men currently in combat. With one hard punch, one captain fell to his knees.
"The King Switchblade already on his knees? Pathetic," Pac laughed and brought his forehead to his. Jay tried to catch his breath. Annoyingly enough, he was starting to accept that Pac was going to beat him. The Gunns couldn't help him. They were fighting their own battles.
"Grant me some mercy and kill me so I don't have to hear you talk anymore," Jay spoke roughly. The hatred in his eyes grew as he stared at his foe. Pac grabbed his bearded chin roughly.
"I'm not gonna kill you, Jay. Not yet. I have her, Jay, your little Y/N," Pac laughed as a flicker of panic flashed in Jay's eyes. He had to be bluffing about knowing. There was no way he could know.
"You are lying," Jay accused with gritted teeth. Pac smirked.
"Pretty little thing. Very trusting. I told her I was a friend of yours. She is currently waiting for you in the captain's quarters," Pac teased. He patted Jay's cheek.
"Don't you dare hurt her. I will end you," Jay threatened, earning another maniacal laugh. The captain of the Bang Bang ship didn't have a leg to stand on. Pac wondered if the man could even stand.
"I'm not going to hurt her, Jay, but I can't say much for my men," Pac informed him. The man started to stand. Jay wrapped his arms around him to stand up. "Every morning, you'll wake up to a new piece of Y/N in your cell,"
Jay moved to punch him, yet Pac grabbed his hand. He started to pull on his fingers. Jay fell to his knees and yelled in pain. Pac kicked him in the chest. The captain fell on his hands and knees. His back was towards Pac.
"Maybe I will start with cutting her fingers off to prolong the process,"
Jay hunched over. All hope seemed lost. He was going to be placed in the brig, and his Y/N would suffer because of him. Cold metal pressed against his ankle and leg. He looked inside his boot to see a knife.
"Come on, Jay. Take it like a man. Y/N will at least want to know you went down on your feet and not your knees,"
Pac grabbed his shoulder to make him face him. Jay grabbed the knife from his boot and stabbed Pac's stomach. The man with raven locks stumbled backward. Blood poured from his mouth. He stumbled to the railing.
"How?" He asked before falling overboard to his death.
Pac's men immediately surrendered at their Captain's demise. The Gunns helped Jay to his feet. Their captain's arms draped over their shoulders. Even in his weakened condition, he needed to see his Y/N.
"Jay!" Y/N called the moment the door to the captain's quarters opened. She rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him. He grunted in pain. Her scent calmed him. Jay wrapped his arms around her.
"You are safe now. I got you," he sighed. The captain didn't want to let his treasure go.
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oncewhenalongtimeago · 1 year ago
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Good day! This is my first time asking so sorry if it sounds weird! Can I ask something related to Hiccup's accidental confession in "Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot"? Maybe his experience in jealousy when Dagur takes a liking to Hiccup's crush?
Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot pt 4
Pairing: Onesided!Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Modern!Fem!Reader
Words: 2197
Enter scene: Dagur the Deranged
Tags: Time Travel, Reader into Movieverse, Dragons: Riders of Berk, Twinsanity, Canon compliant/divergent, unedited
< Previous - Next>
Some people had fun lives-parties, drinks, a lot of mixing with other people-and some people got a full education. You got neither, because you were stuck here, some good thousand years in the past, listening to this.
“It’s so annoying, they won’t stop talking about my father!”
Everyone else cowered away, even his own… Friends. Followers. Parents, maybe. Whoever the men standing behind him were. There was something unsettling about him. He was intense and like a small animal, it made you want to quiet and hide. 
“Really?” You asked, parroting him, “I can see how that would be annoying.”
He looked at you with his eyes wide open, an insane look in his eye like he was waiting for you to falter somehow, so you were afraid that staying silent was out of the question.
“You wouldn’t happen to be hiding any dragons? Would you?”
“N-no?” You smiled awkwardly. Barf and Belch were more like one dragon. With two brains. So you were telling the truth, sort of,
A viking about the same age if not a few years older than you stood absentmindedly in the middle of your path, twirling a knife casually, though to you it came off as menacing. A metal helmet that covered all of his head barring his eyebrows, a bright red, and the oblong face below it.
Stripes of blue ran across his right eye. Left eye, from his perspective, your right. You couldn’t tell if it was facepaint or a tattoo.
“I’m sorry, I didn't… Ah, catch your name? Who are you, again?”
From memory, you could recall nothing of him but a few distant impressions. Not even a name. You knew vaguely that he was supposed to be important, and bad news, which set you on edge. He was probably not from around here, given that you’d never seen him before.
“... You don’t know who I am?” He looked almost affronted, fingering the tip of his knife, not caring a bit when the sharp blade cut a small nick into the very tip. You watched wearily as a small bit of blood welled at the entrance of the wound.
“I’m new here, and I don’t usually spend time indulging in politics.”
“Really?” he asked. ‘So you’re unattached?’ his face said joyfully. You weren’t very good at reading between the lines but you could tell that much. You were afraid he might be rid of you, then drag your lifeless body into the woods for the wolves to eat. Then he might eat the wolves.
You shifted from foot to foot uneasily and yet somehow exhaustively in front of a set of large doors, part of some poor viking’s hovel, wherein a large two-headed dragon was now contained.
You didn’t want to have anything to do with it but with all the panic, you felt that you should probably help out. 
You’d heard earlier that everyone was evacuating their dragons. When you asked where they were going and if you needed to catch a ride, they told you to stay back and ignore it like the rest of them. So, as per request, you decided to stay out of it.
You might not have known the reason why but you knew it was of the utmost importance. And you had an inkling it might have had something to do with Dagur the Deranged, as he was boasting his name and in the same breath spewing something about treaties and dragonblood.
Privately, though, you thought it seemed incredibly inconvenient and illogical to send all the dragons off the island, especially with how essential they had become to Berk’s day-to-day. There was no way in hel that they could have removed every trace of dragons in Berk in just a day. And in hindsight, they hadn’t. People had been cleaning up for weeks, though you weren’t sure why. Now you knew.
Honestly, maybe you weren’t even sure that the Berk vikings needed more than a day. After all, before the dragon raids stopped, they were rebuilding villages in just a day, on top of all the other insanely laborious things that you needed to do to survive on this island. 
Whoever thought it would be a good idea to build the village away from the forest and the rest of the island and fresh water and all the other foresty things people needed to survive deserved to die. Whoever decided it would be on this specific, extremely windy outcropping with only a thin, rickety bridge connecting the two deserved much worse.
“-My armada.” Dagur stood tall, staring off into the sky like he was preaching to some higher power, “Ready with the might of fifty thousand Berserker soldiers!”
Unfortunately, Dagur- he’d caught you as you’d shut the doors, two-pronged tail waving just out of sight. Wrangling dragons wasn’t your strong suit. In fact it was less wrangling and more pushing the Zippleback bodily in the direction you wanted and hoping that by some miracle it listened. Or found something it liked in the same direction.
“However, I can’t seem to find any dragon riders.”
“Well, I haven’t seen any recently“ You tried, voice a few octaves too high and a smidge too cracked. Hopefully, though, it was absent of the abject uncomfortability wracking your beating heart. Also, that was a blatant lie.
“But if there are any, they’re probably afraid?” You avoided looking him in the eye.
“The mighty Hooligans, most efficient dragon slayers, fiercest vikings on the seven seas, afraid? Who knew?” he said, with no amount of hidden glee, “If you’re lying to me, I’ll have your head.”
“On a platter,” You agreed, edging away slowly. Maybe he was insane. But whether he was insane enough was the question. Insane enough not to notice the stiff set of your shoulders and way you leaned back as he encroached on your personal space.
You glared bitterly at a burly blonde man with a large, ram-horned helmet as he snuck past the pair of you plus entourage. You wanted to call him a coward, but the odds, and the company were frightening, so you understood on some level. It didn’t stop the sharp bitter pang from curling in your gut.
At this very moment, you so very badly wanted to be anywhere else. Not pressed against a set of rugged wooden doors, with the too-loud gravel and dried grass crunching under your feet. Most of all, back on your haystack, laying down and imagining you were back in your time at a park, or something, with luxuries like electricity. And running water. And digestible food.
“Ruffnut! Tuffnut-!”
You breathed a sigh of relief as you heard, then saw, when you could muster the courage to turn your stiff neck away, Hiccup, in his red tunic-which he hadn’t seemed to take off since you’d given it to him, which was kind of gross, but whatever, it was his shirt- running down the long end of a spiraling wooden pathway to your right. 
The people here did only bathe, like, once a week. Maybe it wasn't whatever. It was kind of unsanitary. You realized bitterly that it might not be so hard to get ahold of some decent bathing water if you weren’t the only one who bathed so regularly.
Hiccup came to a clumsy stop right by you, slightly in front as if maybe sensing your alarm, though really you chalked it up to the steep incline and his difficult to navigate prosthetic leg. You suspected that there wasn’t as much of a solid grip at the bottom as there should be.
“Are you alright?” You mumbled under your breath. He did look stressed. Maybe he was vulnerable to the suggestion of taking a bath. If you were going to spend your time here campaigning for proper hygiene then he seemed like a good place to start.
“I’m-” Hiccup said, half-wheezing from his sprint, “Have you seen-?”
“What are we whispering about?” Dagur spoke loudly. Well, louder than the two of you. 
Hiccup winced. You winced too, though probably not for the same reason. The Zippleback stuck in storage behind had started doing something. There was a healthy rifling building up behind the two of you.
“There’s no dragons here!” Hiccup said, then, just as loudly, probably trying to cover up the noise behind him, “My father, the Chief, wants to speak with you.”
“Again?” Dagur threw his head back, obviously annoyed. Then he said, his voice laden with sarcasm, “How about you go ahead? We wouldn’t want to leave this lovely lady all by her lonesome, would we?”
His voice was not lacking in any amount of sarcasm.
“Look, like I said, how about you keep on searching. I’ll stay behind.” Hiccup asserted. He usually tried to take the mediating stance, with varied measures of success. Especially since the island started training dragons and he was put in charge of them. 
It wasn’t a lot, but you were sort of relieved he was doing something, because you most definitely didn’t have the authority, inherited or earned, to do it yourself.
Hiccup, though, looked an awful lot like he’d put on a pair of boots that were much too large for him, though the longer he stood there and Dagur stared, the more twitchy he got. 
Like a lightbulb went off in his head Dagur grinned down at the two of you. 
“Hey, wait-!” Hiccup startled, eyes widening. Before you could react, Dagur had pushed him aside and dipped you by the waist to move you out of Hiccup’s way, which only seemed to frustrate him in a way you hadn’t seen before.
“Thanks,” You said to Hiccup, petting the head of the calmed Zippleback, a-la-Hiccup, as he nursed his eye, fresh and brightly bruised, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, I didn’t do much,” Hiccup said deprecatingly, shifting awkwardly where he sat. He was sitting on a crate in the dark cabin. He had taken a pretty bad beating. 
You hadn’t sat by either, feeling terrible as Dagur took the excuse to bully Hiccup. Dagur hadn’t taken too kindly to you telling him no either. Unfortunately, now you were nursing a few bruises yourself. The hammer of justice was unisex, you supposed. Except in this case, it was more like the hammer of war.
You really hoped you hadn’t accidentally started something with the Berserkers.
“You said something,” You shook your head, “I think I saw at least five people pass me by before you. I mean it.”
“And I think I owe you an apology,” You laughed awkwardly, backing away from the Zippleback as it lifted its head, deciding that it had had enough time being scratched by your not-so-expert fingers, “I tried to help but I’m pretty sure I just made things more difficult. And got in the way. I didn’t really expect him to start a fight like that.”
“Got in the way? …Got in the way of what? Me talking my way into a fight? Or falling my way to victory?” Hiccup suggested hesitantly after a moment. You could tell he was having a hard time finding the right words. 
“I tripped more than you did.” You insisted. 
“No, you didn’t. Did you see me? I literally fell into a fist.” Hiccup looked up at you, exposing a still-bleeding cut under his bruise-free eye, which you had sacrificed a strip of your skirt to dab at. You worried it might need stitches.
“Well, at least Dagur’s off somewhere else. Terrorizing other people.” You scratched the back of your neck, cringing as the extra movement irritated your sore ribs. 
Hiccup winced, “That was supposed to be my job. To make sure he doesn’t.”
“Oh boy, That’s rough,” You said sympathetically, rubbing the back of your head, half self-consciously and half to make sure you weren’t forming any lumps, “Doesn’t he have, like, a whole detail following him around to make sure he can?”
You exhaled, “Speaking of, is there anywhere… away from him that I could go? Just until the end of the day? He really freaks me out.”
You hoped you said that right. Sometimes you had a hard time translating your modern colloquialisms. And decoding the local ones.
“I think so, I’m not sure, but have you seen the twins?” Hiccup furrowed his brow, “I’ve been, well, looking for them. I might have an idea.”
You sat yourself down heavily on a rock overlooking the cliffs, watching the fleet of Berserker ships sail off into the distance and you pounded your chest with your fist as you tried to calm your racing heart. You hadn’t realized what had happened at first so it had sent you into a panic.
But once you realized, you weren’t really sure all the extra theatrics were necessary. The chicken gore might have been a bit overkill. And the fake beheading. And the almost actual beheading. It was still wild enough that you had to flee.
A regular plain old fake dragon attack would have probably been enough. Genuinely, sometimes you had to ask yourself if you really had ended up in a kid’s show or something much, much worse.
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bravo4iscool · 4 months ago
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badass military!lagertha for @bumblebeesfromvenus 🤭
(task force 141 x modern!military!vikings!AU)
tag list - @yazt09 @blackhawkfanatic @hatterripper31
(masterlist overview | vikings masterlist | call of duty masterlist | join my tag list!)
REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!
johnny frowned as he looked at lagertha. was that a sword in her hand? was she actually taking a sword to the mission?
“do you think she’ll actually use it?” he nudges simon’s arm with a whisper. his eyes were fixated on lagertha and the sword, still not understanding the use of it.
simon sighs and rolls his eyes. “if she’s taking it with her then yes, she’s gonna use it.” it was a bit confusing to him to but then, he’s never worked with the norwegian army, let alone one of their task forces, before.
johnny hums. after a few moments he nudges simon again. “look!”
“what?” simon groans.
“the second lieutenant has an axe! what the fuck?” a quiet laugh leaves johnny mouth as he watches the norwegian’s gear up. this was all so new and somewhat confusing.
bjorn gazes towards johnny and simon, a slight frown on his face. “they’re judging us,” he mumbles as he plays with the axe in his hand. he turns his head to look at his brothers.
“probably because you’re taking an axe with you,” sigurd snorts, sharpening the blade of his dagger, without looking up. “you look like our ancestors. it’s probably funny to them.”
bjorn’s jaw tenses and his eyes narrow. “why are you saying it like that, huh? i am proud to be a descendant of odin!”
sigurd raises his hands in defense. “by all the gods, not even father goes into battle with an axe and he’s even closer to odin than you,” he laughs before continuing to sharpen his blade.
“will you ever shut up sigurd?” ivar groans, massaging the bridge of his nose while ubbe and hvitserk try to suppress their laughter.
lagertha rolls her eyes at the words of the boys, focussing on fitting her body armour. she was aware of the looks they were getting from the 141. their weapons were everything but standard issued but then, their whole task force also wasn’t.
ragnar sits beside her, cleaning his rifle. “i told him to leave the axe. he doesn’t want to,” he mumbles with a slight shrug. “he looks like a fool.”
lagertha laughs and shakes her head. “but it work for him, no? just like me and my sword.” she looks at the blade, as sharp as the day she forged it. “we always were different from them. don’t you remember the stories of the saxons and the vikings, mhh?”
ragnar chuckles, “i suppose you are right…”
“i always am,” lagertha grins.
-
“fucking hell,” johnny curses when he sees lagertha’s sword slice through a man just in front of him. his eyes are widen open while she turns around.
“you okay?” she wants to know, extending her arm to help johnny up. he grabs it and lets her help to pull him up to his feet.
once he’s back on his feet, his rifle in his hand, he nods. “am fine.” his eyes fall onto the sword. “that was—crazy,” he mumbles, looking up at her again.
she only laugh. “well thank you. but i think we should get going.��� she quickly checks her comms before he takes off into another building, johnny following close behind her.
soon after they are reunited with the other and johnny can’t help but notice the way blood is smeared all over bjorn’s axe. maybe those old weapons really did work…
“soap, how copy?” price asks and johnny gives him a quick thumbs up. the captain checks with the rest of his team while ragnar eyes his boys and lagertha.
he grabs ubbe by his neck, pulling him close. “everything alright?” he asks and ubbe nods. then ragnar moves on to sigurd, then bjorn before his eyes meet lagertha’s.
there aren’t many words exchanged between the both of them. they didn’t need that. lagertha nods and a small smile spreads on ragnar’s face. everyone was okay.
he turns towards price and with a single exchange of looks they know it’s time to continue. they still had intel to secure and a target to kill.
-
lagertha screams as she digs the blade of her sword into yet another man, even the hilt already coated in blood. a few strands of hair fall into her face, her cheeks sprinkled with blood.
her chest was heaving, her body armour almost restricting her breath as she grabs the gun from her thigh to shoot the man running towards her.
she fixes her ear piece before wiping her blade off with her sleeve.
as simon gets into the room, rifle drawn and ready to engage, lagertha already finished every single man in there off. he comes to a halt, letting his rifle slightly sink before regaining his composure.
lagertha gives him a subtle nod before she moves to leave the room. simon follows, almost like a lost puppy. he’s never met such a strong woman…
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bjornswoman · 1 year ago
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My prisoner
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Requested by none.
Author's note: Hello! I've been away for a while and I'm sorry about it. I wanted to come back with a fic about Bjorn, but this one was something that I was thinking for a while and I decided that this one will come out first. I want to believe that vikings fandom are still active. Anyway, till next time have fun and take care.
Pairing: Modern!Hvitserk x Reader.
Genre: Modern!au, drama, romance, fluff.
Summary: Your ex boyfriend breaks free from prison.
Warnings: Drama, mentions of prison break, mentions of death.
Life had never been easy for you.
When you thought that things started getting better, something really bad happened and you were back to zero.
Life had shown you its worst face so far.
You had lost your parents at young age. You were struggling all alone, dealing with two awful jobs and an ex that was more pain in the ass than all the bills you had to pay at the end of each month.
Your life became much more difficult when you decided to get involved with the most infamous family of the city — the Lothbroks. These men — the sons of Ragnar Lothbrok, a mobster — they run a dangerous gang the one their father had founded. You couldn't even want to think about all the illegal stuff they were doing and the police was after them.
The bad thing in that was that the police had you under their microscope, as well, because you were Hvitserk Lothbrok's girlfriend — ex girlfriend.
And things became even worse than before when they put him in jail, after your break-up, and he decided with the help of his family to break free.
The police was following each movement of yours. They were tracking your phone number, listening to all your phone calls, expecting to learn about your ex. They had even someone outside your apartment to watch you over.
You told them over and over again that you had nothing to do with that filthy man anymore, but they wouldn't believe in you.
You let a long breath leave your lungs as you were cleaning the bar counter.
"What is it again?" One of your coworkers asked. Well, Hope was more than a coworker, she was your friend.
The only one you could talk to and not raise any suspicions. You were friends with Torvi — the wife of Ubbe Lothbrok — and Gunnhild — the wife of Bjorn Lothbrok — but you couldn't see them, it was too risky to get in touch with any member of the family. Of course, the police kept a close eye on them, but still you couldn't have any kind of communication with any of the family.
"It's the usual problem with... him." You said as you were placing the clean glasses on their place behind the counter.
"The police is following me around like I'm some kind of a bloody criminal because I made the mistake to start a relationship with a mobster." You spoke angrily and threw the towel on the counter. You were so angry, so frustrated with all this mess. Your hands run through your hair.
"I know that this is difficult for you, but it is going to end, sweetheart. It will end when they get this son of a bitch back where he belongs — in prison." She said wih an encouraging smile on her face and her hand rubbed your back friendly.
Only those words weren't encouraging for you. Deep in your heart you didn't want him to get caught and sent back inside there again. It hurt you to think that the man you loved were inside a called cell.
It was true that he wasn't the best guy in the world, not even close to that. Hvitserk had done some bad things that he wasn't proud of and he had regretted of doing. He had a good heart and wanted to be better.
You forced something that was the resemblance of a smile on your face and followed her to the kitchen to get the orders and walk them to the costumers.
"Did he try to contact you after you know?" Hope asked you suddenly and you nodded your head as an answer — no he didn't and it quite hurt you. But you had broken up before he got in.
"At least, he didn't dare to after all he did."
You frowned when you heard the tone of her voice. Hvitserk had never hurt you. In fact, the reason he broke up with you was because he didn't want to involve you in his mess, in the shit he was deep into, but it was late for that.
"He didn't harm me." You muttered when you got back with an epty tray in your hands.
Hope rolled her eyes and continued to place the drinks on her tray. When she finished, she turned her eyes on you.
"But he harmed other people. He is a criminal. Prison is where he belongs." Those where her words before she waltzed through the tables with her tray in hands.
Her words were harsh for a man she didn't know at all. Yeah, Hvitserk did awful things, but he wasn't just that. You had seen the good side of his. You had seen the little broken child in him. The one who felt full when you showed him your love and affection. The one who tried to shield your heart even from him.
The rest of your shift went by as usual. There weren't many clients as a typical Wednesday night. But things changed when you got that damned phone call.
It was a couple of times before the closing time when Torvi called. You didn't expect her to, you didn't expect anyone from the family to reach for you. When you saw her name on the screen, you used the back door to get out and answered her call.
"Torvi?" The tone of your trembling voice gave away easily to level of your concern about Hvitserk. Torvi wouldn't call if something bad did not happen. Something had happened. Something that you wouldn't like to hear.
"What happened? You know that it's not safe to speak through the phone." Your body was pressed on the wall next to the door and your hand was clenching the phone.
"Something came up which we don't know whether it stands or not, but I had to inform you because Ubbe said that they are 80% sure that it's true." You felt the despair and sadness in the tone of her voice as well as you could feel the tears forming in your eyes.
Hvitserk — your mind screamed but your tongue didn't. You waited to hear more before you even try to fight back your emotions.
"Tell me for the love of Gods! What happened?" You were almost crying now.
Torvi took a deep breath before her next words.
"They found a body — a body in a really awful state. It's unrecognizable. At the time were are talking they are in a lab waiting for the results of the DNA analysis. But, Ubbe said that they are almost sure that the body belongs to Hvitserk. He didn't contact the brothers after the escape, they thought he was hiding and would eventually come out, but he didn't."
You couldn't hear the most of it. You collapsed on the floor halfway and closed your eyes forcefully in an attempt to fight the waterfalls of tears to fall. Your free hand moved on your face and it touched your forehead.
You stopped hearing. You were crying. He couldn't be dead. Hvitserk couldn't die. Not like this.
"They killed him and threw his body in a ditch in a middle of nowhere. The people who killed him are the same who framed him with this murder he didn't commit." She continued, but you couldn't hear anymore. Your brain couldn't process all these. You couldn't process the fact that Hvitserk was dead.
"Hvitserk..." You muttered his name like it was a prayer between your sobs.
"I know it hurts but you—"
You didn't let her finish. You ended the damned call and let your phone fall from your hands. You hid your face in your palms and let yourself cry and mourn the love of your life — the only person you were able to love this much and loved you back in his own different way.
After some time, you gathered your broken heart and the pieces of your body and got in. You wiped your tears and cleaned your face with some fresh water. You had to stay strong for a couple of times and then you could cry all your wanted.
At the closing, you took out the trash in an attempt to cry to yourself for a bit in the darkness where no one could see your tears for the man you loved the most. You were so sad and shattered that you didn't notice a black figure approaching you.
You only noticed when one of his hands was on your mouth and the pushed you in a dark corner. You eyes opened widely and your heart beat went faster until you saw the face of your captor.
He let you see his face. He took his hood off and got rid of the black scarf which was covering his mouth and nose. When you could finally see him, he freed your mouth and you gasped.
"You!" You whispered out of breath. Your hand run on his features that you missed so much. The last time you could saw him in person was many months ago, almost a month before he got arrested.
"Shh!" His index finger was on your lips.
"Don't shush me! I thought you were fucking dead! Torvi called an—" All your whisper-yelling stopped when his lips fell violently on yours. The very thing he did every time he wanted to get away feom scolding. But this time you weren't going to get mad or stop him, until not as long as you could breathe.
His skilled lips were moving just perfect on yours and the facial hair he had were just perfect. His hands grabbed you by the waist and you placed your own hands around his neck. Your body was pressed on the wall by his own.
This kiss felt like salvation. It was like you were whole again. It felt like you could breathe even if you didn't. You didn't want it to stop, but it had. After all, you two had many things to discuss.
Much to your displeasure, it stopped because of the lack of air to your lungs. His hands left your waist and moved on your face where he caressed your cheeks softly.
But that loving moment didn't last long, before he noticed, your hand collided with his cheek violently and his head turned at the side.
"Was that necessary? Why did you do it?" Hvitserk whisper-yelled. His palm was on his hurting cheek that had your mark on it, along with the mark of your nails.
"You scared me to fucking death with your bloody lies. Plus, you were a total dick to me when I called you in jail." You spoke and gazed at him. You had missed him terribly.
"Hey!" With that Hvitserk grabbed your face between his hands. Your faces were dangerously close for once more. "I told you, you shouldn't have called me there. As for my little lie, it was my only chance to see you." You spoke and left a soft kiss on your forehead.
"And how would that be? The police is out there waiting for a stupid movement of yours — exactly like this one — to get you. They are after me — following every step of mine. You shouldn't be here." You told him and tried to leave him in the darkness. You didn't want him to get caught because of you.
Hvitserk didn't let slip from his hands. His strong grip held there in from of him.
"It's dangerous, Hvitserk." You whispered at him.
Hvitserk smirked and one of his hands placed a strand of hair behind your ear.
"See that was exactly my plan with all this dead body lie. Indeed, there was a body, but not mine — obviously — and we used it to mislead them. They will try to find the body and they won't pay attention to you. At least, not as much as they did." He explained and you smiled.
"Ivar's plan?" You asked all smiling and he smiled back.
"Like you don't know the answer to that."
After that, you stayed there gazing at each other, having only the stars witnessing this moment between you.
"Why did you break my heart?" You asked as your eyes were only on his. You wanted to hear the truth coming out of his mouth.
His green eyes were glowing under the lights of the stars.
"I – I don't deserve you. You are kind and sweet and so angelic and I am the exact opposite. I am so filthy that I'll defile your purity. I've done things that I'm not proud about — bad things."
"Then why are you here now?"
Your question made him think about it himself once more. His eyes were looking only deep inside yours. You could feel his pain when he talked about the stuff he did, you could feel everying through those eyes. It hurt you to think that he felt this way for himself.
"Behind the bars, in that cell, the only thing you can do is thinking. You're thinking about all the right and wrong decisions of your life till the moment you got in — especially the wrong ones keep you up all night. And what kept me up was you. The thought of never seeing you again, never hearing your voice, you laugh, your scolding. I just couldn't live knowing that I hurt you. I love you. My life without you is meaningless."
"Just never push me away again, okay?" You spoke as your hand wiped a couple tears away from your eyes. Hvitserk help you and when there weren't any more tears in your eyes, he caressed your skin softly.
"I love you, you idiot." You muttered and kissed him again. This kiss was so much different from the previous one. It soft and loving.
"The plan is to never let you slip away from me ever again." He spoke as he was caressing your hair.
"And how is that supposed to happen?"
"We will leave together here and now."
You frowned. You weren't expecting him to say something like this. You pushed him back, so you could face him.
"Wait... You want us to leave everything behind — our lives — and run away. This – this is....." You couldn't form a proper sentence. You were to process his proposition.
Kattegat was everything you knew — the place you called home. Everyone you knew was here and by that you meant your friends and some very distant relatives. Apart from your life, his life was in this place. His family, his job.
"(Y/N), there's nothing for us here. If I stay, I'll go to prison and I won't be able to hold you ever again. I will leave at the end of the day, there is no future for me in this city." Both of your hearts were beating fast at the thought that you would never see each other again after this night.
It was true that there was nothing here for you, only these two jobs that you hated. You couldn't know what future had in store for you, but if you let Hvitserk leave alone, you would hate yourself for the rest of your life.
Hvitserk's hand grabbed yours and closed it in both of his palms, but before that his finger gripped your chin and moved your head in such position that you could look at each other.
"The clock is ticking — the time is running fast. You have to give me your answer now. Are you coming with me right now?"
His eyes were begging you to say yes.
His heart was begging you to say yes.
But your mind was the problem. Your mind was hesitating to follow him wherever he was going to take you.
You closed your eyes for a moment. You couldn't choose between your heart and your mind. A whole war had broke inside you.
"(Y/N)?"
At the sound of your name on his lips you opened your eyes.
"I will come wherever you are willing to go. I can't live without you, my love." You told him and hugged him tightly.
Hvitserk wrapped his hand with yours and pulled you close to him.
"Are you sure? If we leave now — together — there's no coming back. We will be both fugitives." He told you smirking.
You chuckled when you heard him.
"That's a risk I'd love to take for you."
With those last words Hvitserk and you run away from the police and the city forever.
250 notes · View notes
nikethestatue · 11 months ago
Text
A Match Baked In Heaven
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Chapter XII
The Moan
“I want buns of steel. But also, buns of cinnamon,” Elain Archeron muttered, as she pulled out a pan of cinnamon buns from the oven. It was a strange choice, but this was Feyre’s favourite treat, and Elain felt that she owed it to her sister on her birthday.
Elain was running late. But there was a lot to do.
Feyre had changed her mind at the last minute, and they weren’t going to a Moroccan restaurant anymore. Instead, the restaurant was catering, the party was at Feyre’s loft, and Elain was tasked with making desserts. And there were thirty people invited, though with Feyre’s friends, it was quite possible that many more would drop by.
Now, Elain was running behind. She had to make a cake too, because Feyre requested her cake, and not one from a bakery. Elain was pretty proud of the cake, though she had no idea how she was going to transport it and carry it, but she wasn’t concerned about the logistics right now.
“Piglet, you are being very rude,” she told her pug. Predictably, she received no response.
As she mixed icing sugar, lemon juice and double cream for the icing, she continued, “That’s fine. It’s entirely up to you if you want to play introvert today. However, don’t expect treats then. You can’t be a glum introvert and still want treats.”
To that, Piglet expanded a mournful moan.
“No,” Elain said. “I don’t even know if you’ll get your Advent Calendar treat today. Unless daddy wants to give it to you, don’t count on me.”
Piglet looked sadly at his calendar, sniffling and barking weakly.
In about ten minutes, he raised his head, but didn’t get up. But Elain knew why–because in the next moment, the doorbell rang. 
God she was running really, really late!
Wiping her hands with a towel, Elain fluffed up her hair–she wasn’t even sure why she was doing that–and went to the door.
When she opened it she was faced with not one, not two, but three men.
Three giant men. They looked wild, and dangerous, and beautiful. Not the men of this age or this time. They seemed ancient and powerful, like the warriors of old.
Not to say that they were dressed in armour or anything. 
In fact, all three were wearing identical black suits, which probably cost as much as a downpayment for a house, and white shirts, open to various lengths on their brown, muscular chests.
Elain whooshed out a breath.
Her lady parts did a funny squeezie-squeeze, especially at the sight of Azriel Night, whose dark golden skin contrasted gorgeously with the white shirt and the black tattoos that snaked from under the collar of his shirt.
“Gentlemen,” she said at last. “Please, come in.”
“Ready for us, beautiful?” Azriel smiled and winked at her.
“Yeah, all three of you…”
Initially, Azriel self-invited himself to be Elain’s date to the birthday party. That was followed by him telling her that he’d be bringing Rhysand as well, since Rhysand needed to be introduced to Feyre. But, apparently, Cassian was also ready to party, since he was standing right here, smirking and looming over everything and everyone.
“Brothers, let me introduce you properly,” Azriel announced, once they were inside. “Lady Elain Archeron, my future wife and the future mother of my children.”
“Ohmygod,” was all Elain managed to breathe, her eyes wide and her cheeks red.
Cassian chuckled under his breath. 
“Az is mental. Don’t mind him,” Cassian waved his hand, as he shouldered his way in.
He was strikingly handsome in a rough, lumberjack-chic kind of a way. Big. At least 6”6. He was probably a Viking or something like that in the past life. A Fae General. A chieftain, who’d smear himself in paint and fight the enemies with all sorts of terrifying weapons. He looked mighty fine in his bespoke suit, but it seems like all these modern trappings were little more than a nuisance to him, and he’d be just as comfortable in some fighting leathers.
“Hi Elain!” he boomed, looking around and whistling softly. “Nice digs, Lady. I’ve seen castles that aren’t as fancy as this. Is it too late for me to become a matchmaker?”
Elain smiled and he pulled her in for a quick hug.
“You are my future sis-in-law apparently!”
“Oh god, Cassian, not you too!” she moaned. 
“Step aside, Lothario,” Azriel hissed at him and Cassian laughed.
“I’d be worried too. He knows I am irresistible to the ladies,” he announced proudly.
“I am positive that Lady Elain can resist you.”
With that, the third man, a lithe, tall, slender, muscular specimen, with an aristocratic bearing, a bit of a posh sneer, and an impressively beautiful face, pushed past Cassian and then gently took Elain’s hand and brought it to his lips.
“Lady Elain Archeron. Allow me to introduce myself. Rhysand Darling.”
“Just Elain,” she told him, but curtsied nevertheless, adding, “Lord Darling.”
He smiled. He reeked of elegance and good breeding. 
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting the woman who’s bewitched my surly brother.”
“I am not surly,” Azriel threw with a frown.
Elain reached for him and then took Azriel’s hand in hers. 
“He is alright,” she approved, smiling at him. “He’s grown on me.”
“I believe you know my mother and my sister,” Rhysand commented, as he clasped his hands behind his back and circled the formal living room and the parlour, admiring the art on the walls.
“Kandinsky,” he muttered to himself.
“I do,” Elain confirmed. “Lady Selene and the Duchess are members of the Women’s Institute, as are my sisters and I.”
“Wait, what?” Cassian gaped at the two of them. “You know each other? You know Selene?”
“We circulate in the same places,” Elain said vaguely.
Scowling, Azriel growled, “Yeah, with the Queen, right?”
“Her Majesty was a member of the Institute as well. The Sandringham Chapter to be precise,”
“You met the Queen?” Cassian gawked at her like she suddenly started juggling fire balls.
“Elain is a Lady,” Azriel said with a sigh, looking somehow depressed about it. 
Elain held his hand in hers and gently rubbed her thumb over his pulse. When Azriel looked at her, she was smiling at him and that smile managed to calm him down somehow. Like Elain didn’t care about the difference in their upbringing, and she liked him for…him.
So Azriel smiled back at her and then whispered, “you aren’t even ready yet.”
“I’ve been baking.”
Azriel smiled excitedly and said, “I can’t wait to eat it! You know, matchy….Ours, is a match baked in heaven.”
“You are so ridiculous, I love it!” Elain stared at him, but then couldn’t help but laugh. 
“I am not ridiculous! I am right,” he argued.
“Where is the little beastie with the bows?” Cassian looked around, seeking out Piglet.
Azriel frowned and also twisted his head this way and that way.
“Where is little matey?”
Elain pursed her lips and then pointed to the sofa in the family room. 
“There he is. Being dramatic.”
And after a pause, added, “and RUDE! We have guests, and you are being absolutely rude!”
Azriel rushed to the pug.
Piglet was still dressed in his onesie, laying on the sofa arm, unmoving. 
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Depressed Piglet
“Pinky, my lovie, what’s wrong?” Azriel cooed, stroking the pug’s back. 
Piglet didn’t move and just lay there listlessly, his little short legs draped over the sofa arm. Azriel nosed into his back and whispered, “what’s wrong? Daddy is home. I’ll take care of my boy.” He then picked Piglet up and cradled him to his chest. 
“He is depressed,” Elain threw, while Rhysand watched Azriel fuss over the dog with amusement. 
“Depressed?!?!” Azriel gasped. “Why? What made him depressed?”
Elain crossed her arms on her chest, and said, her voice laced with disappointment.
“We went to the vet today: to get Piglet’s longevity shots. It was a substitute vet–not his usual one–so he gave him a check up too.”
“Is he okay?” Azriel exclaimed in fright. “Is he sick?!”
Rhysand snorted a laugh at Azriel’s reaction. Azriel didn’t even look at him, while flipping him the bird.
“Whoa, is the doggo okay?” Cassian also asked, worried. 
“He is fine. But the vet said that he is,” she took a piece of paper off the counter, and read out loud, “mildly anxious, highly spirited, overweight, overall well-adjusted, but with an extreme case of separation anxiety.”
As she repeated the diagnosis, Piglet released a tragic howl, before burrowing into Azriel’s neck.
“And he’s been like this ever since we came back.”
Azriel rocked Piglet back and forth in his embrace, kissing the top of his head. 
“Don’t listen to the stupid vet. You aren’t overweight. You are just plump. And that’s okay. You are built for feed, not speed.”
Rhys laughed again, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the scene. 
“And it’s okay to have separation anxiety. I am anxious every time I am separated from Ellie. And from you.”
“What exactly are longevity shots?” Rhys asked, cocking his head.
“They are illegal!” Elain announced proudly.
“Illegal?”
“Yes. They are stem cell shots. Not legal here. But I am not having my dog die–ever. So he gets his longevity shots every six months.”
“Must be a pricey enterprise?”
“It is. Three thousand a pop. And I don’t care. It’s worth it.”
“Worth it,” Azriel agreed, and then gently pulled Piglet away from his neck and looked into his big, sad eyes.
“Baby boy, do you want to go to a party?” he asked. “Do you want to be the star? You'll wear the nicest outfit and you’ll have so much fun there. Everyone will be loving on you. What do you say?”
Piglet sniffled, clearly needing more encouragement.
“There will be snacks,” Cassian added.
“Yes. And cake. And maybe chicken nuggies! They are your faves!”
“He likes chicken nuggets?” Rhys asked, chuckling.
“They are chicken meatballs, but we call them ‘chicken nuggies’,” Azriel explained. 
And then, he started signing. And dancing. With Piglet dangling in his hands, Azriel sang to the tune of Jose Feliciano’s ‘Feliz Navidad’:
Please feed the dog
Please feed the dog
Please feed the dog
I am so hungry
I don’t wanna starve!
I want a bucket of chicken nuggies!
I want a bucket of chicken nuggies!
I want a bucket of chicken nuggies!
And a slice of meatloaf
Everyone stared at him, slack-jawed. 
“Jesus Mary and Joseph,” Rhys whispered in horrified awe. “Do we need an intervention?”
“Don’t get in between a man and his dog,” Cassian warned.
The dog meanwhile, bobbed his head to the song, finally coming to, and returning to his normal self. 
“Did he get snacks today?” Azriel asked Elain. “He looks a little thin.”
“Yeah, he lost 5 kilos because he didn’t have snacks today,” she threw tartly, still displeased with Piglet’s attitude and behaviour.
“Okay, can we at least do the Advent Calendar?” Azriel pleaded, while Piglet slipped from his hands and then trotted happily to the huntboard and got on his hind leg, waiting for his daily treat.
“Oh, really? Now he is ready?” Elain asked dryly, staring Piglet down, who turned away from her and towards a much safer Azriel. And he even sweetened the deal with a smile, grinning at his dad, and showing a full row of his tiny little crooked teeth. 
“He is ready!” Azriel announced excitedly, and then there was a whole argument between him and Cassian over who is going to break the slat and take out the treat. Cassian won, because he declared that he ‘never gets to do it, but Azriel gets to do it all the time!’ With that, he broke the seal, took out a small chewable treat shaped like a bone and broke it in half, before Azriel could stop him.
“Oh no!”
“What?” Cassian asked, alarmed, while Piglet crunched on half the snack.
“You don’t understand…it’s dog maths,”
“What?”
With a deep sigh, Azriel explained, “If you break a treat into two, that actually means zero treats. Or, for example, when dinner is at 7 pm, but you serve dinner at 7:02 pm, that means that you are two hours late. Though if you serve dinner at 6 pm, you are also two hours late.
“Anything that is human food is also dog food, but dog food is only dog food. In addition, human food is not counted towards food or snacks, therefore, it could be consumed in unlimited amounts.”
Rhys was shaking with laughter, while Cassian was clearly doing some complex calculations in his head, as he listened to Azriel. He fed Piglet the second part of the treat, and then confirmed, “So this means he did not receive a treat at all?”
“Exactly. A broken treat does not count as a treat.”
“I am adopting dog maths for all my maths,” Rhys decided right then and there. 
Elain was watching the brouhaha with a shake of her head, before she asked, “May I count on you three, gentlemen, to undress him, put this tie on him, and then put his coat on.”
She handed Azriel a brown chequered tie and a Burberry jacket for the dog, but he in turn handed it to Cassian and said, “I am going to go help my girl out.”
It’s not that Elain needed help exactly, but she didn’t mind it either. Cassian looked at the dog attire uncertainly, gnawing on his lip, and then told Rhys ‘you are helping’.
“He likes to escape,” Azriel offered helpfully, as he ran after Elain up the stairs. 
The moment the other two men were out of sight, he lifted her in his arms and pressed his face into her neck, inhaling deeply. 
“I’ve missed my girl,” he murmured, dragging his nose over her jawline, up her cheek, kissing her softly and slowly.
“Azriel,” she moaned into his hair, grabbing the back of his neck.
“Let’s fuck off and not go to the party, send Cass, Rhys and pug, and stay in and fuck?” he proposed, hope shining in his eyes.
She laughed softly and said, “I think my sister might be a bit affronted if I didn’t attend her 25th birthday so I could stay home and fuck, as you put it.”
“Who, Fey? Fey wouldn’t care!” he blew his cheeks, “she is our shipper!”
“What?”
“She ships us hard. Wants us to be together!”
“Is this your dark romance lingo?”
“You should join the dark romance revolution,” he suggested. “You can join our Book Club,”
“Wait, you have a book club?”
“Yes, we do. But shit, you can’t! No girls allowed,” he shrugged apologetically.
“You have an all-men Book Club where you read dark romances?” she asked incredulously.
“Yeah. We are not sexist or anything. We read romances and smut.”
“You just said that no girls are allowed in your Book Club. That’s the definition of ‘sexist’.”
He frowned, thinking, while he deposited her on the floor in their bedroom, and plopped down on the bed himself. 
“Oh yeah. Oh, well, a little sexist. But not super sexist.”
“Oh, well, phew. As long as you aren’t super sexist!”
Rolling on his side, and propping his head, he gave her a heated, lascivious look and said,
“Come on, strip, baby. Show me what you are wearing!”
“Since when did our relationship include stripping?” she pondered, as she disappeared in the walk-in closet.
“Not yet, but it should include plenty of stripping,” he decided. “I am all stripping-ready and if you’d like me to, I can strip right now.”
“Oh, no doubt,” Elain didn’t seem surprised.
Downstairs, it seemed that the two humans lost control of the situation pretty quickly. There was banging, suspicious crashing, curses and little claws clacking frantically on the floor. Cries of ‘hold him!’ and ‘shit’ and ‘why is he so fast’ peppered the commotion.
Azriel was smiling, listening to the chaos. He did warn them.
“This? Or this?”
When he glanced at Elain, his jaw dropped. Everything was forgotten.
If the house was on fire, he wouldn't have cared. 
Because his naughty Elain came out, holding two hangers in her hands, and wearing nothing but a tiny, lacy, baby blue lingerie set. It hugged her generous form very deliciously and was basically see-through, which made Azriel swallow audibly. He asked for stripping and well, here they were. He could clearly see her full breasts and the pink nipples beneath the gossamer-thin material. And the way her knickers wrapped around the round hips just so…the firm, but ample thighs…
“Nu!” she pressed.
“What?” he asked, looking dazed.
At that point though, Piglet tore through the bedroom. He looked a proper state. Half of his onesie was hanging off his body, and he zoomed wildly around the bedroom, diving under the bed, before emerging and repeating his frantic circle.
From downstairs, they heard Rhys’s disgruntled holler, “What is this dog on?! What’s in the longevity shots? Cocaine?! I bet it’s coke!”
Elain stood there, almost naked, laughing, while Azriel devoured her with his eyes.
Piglet stopped his zooming and gave the situation an assessing gaze, looking whether any serial killers needed sorting out. Having not found any, he gave everyone a victorious bark and then bounded out the bedroom and down the stairs. 
“Hold him on the right!” Cassian shouted.
“He is too fast!” Rhys screamed back, “how’s he so fast when he only has three legs!”
“Bribe him with a strawberry or a piece of cheese!” Azriel yelled in turn, not taking his eyes off Elain.
She grumbled, “how many men over 6”5 does it take to dress a three-legged pug?”
Azriel sat up on the bed and whispered, “Come here, baby.”
“Why do I feel like if I do, then we might not be leaving here at all?”
“You might be correct, but maybe, just maybe, if I touch some of these fleshy soft bits,”
“WHAT? Fleshy soft bits??” she gasped incredulously, while Azriel’s very long arm wrapped around her hips and he pushed her closer. 
“Such,” he kissed her, in fact, soft belly, “fine,” another kiss right below her breast, “fleshy,” and his lips landed on the side of her waist, where it curved sensually and where he licked a path down to her hip, “soft,” and he lightly bit the spot just above the lacy band of her underwear, “bits,” and he inhaled so hard with his face against the mound of her sex that a satisfied, raw groan of pleasure reverberated deep within his chest. 
Elain almost fainted, when suddenly, he wrapped his mouth over the lips of her pussy, biting them gently through the material of the underwear. 
“My god,” she gasped, not knowing whether to push him away, or to pull his face closer and into her slit.
He dragged his tongue against the seam of her folds, and muttered hoarsely, his voice rough and harsher than usual, “do you know how much I’ve dreamt about eating your pussy? How much I want to watch you coming on my tongue?”
“My god, Azriel,” Elain managed to growl out, while he filled his huge palms with the flesh of her round ass cheeks. His thumbs stroked her skin, while he kissed her thighs, around her belly button, before gladly sinking his teeth into her breast and biting her nipple.
“I will be your god, my beautiful Elain,” he promised. “Once I make you come, you’ll understand the definition of ‘my god’.”
“So confident.”
“Oh I am.”
He pulled back a bit, and told her, “Gotta confess. A nice bare pink pussy is my kryptonite.”
“I suppose I fit the bill then?”
“You do. You always do.”
She picked up the two dresses that she had dropped on the floor and showed them to him again.
One was a wintry, knit dress, which no doubt, would look mighty fine wrapped over her form. The other, was a much more formal dress, in some ways sculptural, made of some type of heavy satin. It was cream, tailored and spectacular. 
“This is more practical,” Elain said, lifting the knit dress. “I can wear it with tall boots and I think it would look nice,”
“No,” he said flatly.
“No?”
“You aren’t going to look ‘nice’. You’ll look stunning. ‘Nice’ is not for Elain Archeron. It’s not for my girl.”
She bit her lip adorably, considering his words, while he was watching her like a hungry hound.
“I do have these shoes that I’ve been dying to wear, but they are open and it’s December.”
“Bring the shoes,” he ordered simply. “You’ll put them on there.”
“Okay,” she agreed, though it didn’t seem like she needed a lot of encouragement. 
…Downstairs, Cassian had Piglet in some kind of MMA headlock, while Rhysand was attempting to put the jacket on the pug. 
Small wins: they succeeded in taking the onesie off. And Piglet had a tie around his neck, even if it was all skewed. 
The jacket was proving to be a challenge.
“You two seriously cannot be trusted with a dog,” Azriel lamented, watching the pathetic display. 
“Fuck, Elain,” Cassian gasped. “You look…wow. You look really beautiful.”
Azriel immediately wrapped a possessive, proprietary arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. 
“Thank you, Cassian,” Elain smiled and then snapped her fingers.
With frightening ease, Piglet broke out of Cassian’s hold, showing that he was just indulging them and that they never stood a chance. He also grabbed the jacket out of Rhys’s hands and trotted to Elain, handing it to her. 
“Are you going to be a good boy tonight?” she asked, as she dressed him in about 47 seconds. “It’s Aunt Fey’s birthday and you have to be nice to her. She’ll want to give you hugs,” at that Piglet sighed, “and you have to give her hugs.”
Piglet led the charge, and when he saw Dev and Dev asked to ‘shake’, he shook with him. Azriel was carrying the birthday cake, internally freaking out. That was a heavy responsibility.  Rhysand was charged with carrying the cinnamon buns and the pastries. Somehow, Cassian ended up without a task, however, once they piled into the car, he was responsible for holding Piglet in his lap. Elain carried and touched nothing other than her purse. 
“Camden then?” Dev confirmed with Elain.
“Yes,” Elain nodded, sandwiched between Azriel and Rhysand, and feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of testosterone in the car. The most amorous sensations came from Azriel’s side, whose scent she wanted to drown in. The heat of body, the muscular arm that pressed into hers, the very sight of his gorgeous throat which she wanted to kiss and lick and bite had her squirming in her seat, pressing her thighs together. Azriel gave her a side glance and smirked. 
“You feeling okay, baby?” he asked lightly.
“Oh, just splendid!” she assured him tartly.
“You sure? You seem a bit squirmy there,”
“Oh, quite positive. Just setting in,” she offered him a fake smile.
“Anything I can do to help you? Settle in, that is?”
“Doing okay on my own,”
“It would seem so. Perhaps you’ve been doing it on your own for a bit too long…and might require a helping hand after all?”
Cassian squinted at them, stroking Piglet’s head, looking absolutely and hysterically ridiculous holding a dressed up pug. Elain kept averting her eyes from the two of them, because she knew that she was about to burst into laughter.
“Is this some kind of sex talk?” Cassian asked suspiciously.
Rhys smiled a brief smile, and it occurred to Elain that nothing much escaped this man. 
“Ellie doesn’t do sex talks,” Azriel told him.
“Hmmm…sounds like sex talk,” Cassian insisted. “Will there be girls at this party?”
“Quite a few,” Elain nodded. 
“Okay, maybe I’ll hook up with someone.”
“You are not going there to hook up!” Rhys warned him.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not an American frat party where you are going to be shagging someone in an empty bedroom. We are going to a birthday party. And we weren’t even invited!”
“I was invited,” Azriel argued.
“Technically, you weren’t,” Rhys argued. “You are going as Elain’s date.”
“Oh.”
“Then what am I?” Cassian wondered.
“Piglet’s date,” Elain joked. “Listen, it’s fine. You were all technically invited. Feyre wanted to meet everyone. She is quite taken with Azriel already. I am sure you’ll impress her as well. Now, impressing my older sister Nesta might be a little more difficult.”
“Oh yeah?” Cassian instantly leaned forward, as if the challenge of impressing Nesta intrigued him.
“Nesta is…complicated,” was all Elain said. 
“Is she as beautiful as you?” Cassian queried.
Elain got all adorably pink and flustered and Azriel gave his brother an unimpressed look.
“Nesta is very attractive,” Azriel growled, stroking the side of Elain’s neck with his thumb. “But no one is as beautiful as Elain.”
Elain lit up like a Christmas tree at his words, blushing and smiling and trying to hide, but he only kissed her temple and held her closer.
-
When Rhysand heard ‘Camden’ he did not expect this. He wasn’t exactly a Camden type of a person, so he wondered if he’d stick out like a sore thumb in the Camden crowd. He was an Old Etonian. But when they arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and reminded himself that the Archerons weren’t exactly poor. They stopped next to a sprawling refurbished industrial building. It was old London brick–dark and dirtied with age, which gave it character. There were a couple of huge windows, now brightly lit up, and behind the house was a canal and a little dock. This was nice. 
Cassian got out first, and Piglet confidently trotted to the door and barked, announcing his arrival. Azriel was last, holding on that cake like his life depended on it. Rhysand smiled. Azriel was such a good boyfriend. Who would’ve thought? But he turned out to be the exemplary boyfriend, who was utterly obsessed with Elain. To an unhealthy degree, in Rhys’s opinion. Azriel already marked his body permanently with all things Elain. If this didn’t go well and ended in a way that Azriel wasn’t expecting, well…it would get messy. Hearts would be broken. Dreams would be shattered. Tattoos would have to be removed or covered up…
The door opened and a tall, very slim woman stood in front of them. That she was Elain’s sister was obvious. But her face was sharper, the eyes a steely grey-blue, long golden brown hair tied into a no-nonsense chignon at the nape of her neck. She wore a simple pearl-grey dress, well-tailored, but without frills, and a huge diamond and emerald brooch, a la the late Queen. 
For a moment, she just stood there, assessing them all with an unflinching gaze.
“Are you Nesta?” Cassian suddenly stepped forward, his attention wholly on the willowy, busty beauty in front of him.
“You are late,” she said instead, ignoring him.
“We aren’t!” Elain argued. “The party doesn’t start until six and we have plenty of time to prepare.”
Cassian wasn’t deterred and announced, “I am Cassian!”
“Congratulations,” Nesta said. Then, she asked Elain, “What is this? A reverse harem?” 
Before the confused Elain could answer, Cassian asked excitedly, 
“Oh, a fellow reverse harem lover?! Very nice. What’s your favourite book?”
Nesta gave him a puzzled, but intrigued look, while he continued, undeterred, 
“Mine is “The Kings’ Wife’! What’s yours?”
“‘Forget-Me-Not Bombshell’,” she answered flatly, surprising everyone. “Obviously.”
“Obviously.”
Behind Nesta, they heard an excited voice, and an exclamation, “Elain, this cake!!! Oh my goddess! It’s crazy beautiful!! Piggy! Come…Come! Give me hugs! Come to me, my good boy.”
Piglet muscled his way between the sea of legs, and hopped towards the birthday girl, being a good boy, just like he promised. 
She sat on the floor and accepted him in her arms, taking off his coat. 
“Welcome everyone!” she said loudly. 
“Thank you for having us,” Rhys said ahead of everyone. He wasn’t sure why.
And then, her eyes landed on him. 
Feyre. What a name.
A gently lovely girl, with blue eyes and brown hair, and a scattering of visible freckles all over her nose and cheeks. Not a beauty like Elain. Not as striking as Nesta. And yet…
“I’ve heard your voice,” she suddenly said, her luminous eyes firmly planted on Rhys’s face.
“Pardon?” he stuttered.
“It was like you called me,” she continued, “and I heard you. Your voice. Across the hills, calling me. I think it was in a dream,” she laughed nervously. “But your voice was very distinctive.”
“Well, then I am glad that I am the man of your dreams. Literally.”
At that, Feyre laughed, but it was nervous, as if there was a grain of truth in his voice.
Rhys continued,
“Happy birthday, Feyre darling.”
She got up from the floor, still holding the pug. Piglet looked between the two of them with a smug look on his squished face. Like he knew something they didn’t.
“Are you Rhysand?” she asked shyly.
“I am Rhysand,” he confirmed. “You’ve heard of me?”
“I have. Apparently, I’ve also heard you. Welcome.”
Like her sisters, Feyre also wore a plain dress, of deep dark blue velvet. It was simple, but form-fitting, exposing her elegant neck. She didn’t wear any jewellery and at that, Rhys smirked and reached into his jacket pocket. He stepped closer to the birthday girl, ignoring all the curious stares from his brothers and her sisters, and then took out a flat black box and handed it to her.
“For you.”
Feyre blushed prettily and looked up at him from under her long lashes. 
“A gift? For me?” she repeated, taking the box from him.
“A pretty gift for a pretty girl,” he smiled, smoothly opening the lid and suddenly taking out a…crown. A diadem. 
Nesta stared at the gift, and so did Cassian, and even Azriel, with complete astonishment.
It was a delicate band of white gold, shaped like a branch, studded in places with tiny diamonds and lapis lazuli. 
“A crown for the lady.”
Rhys smiled at Feyre, whose eyes were as big as saucers and then gently placed the diadem upon her head, effectively crowning her.
“Well, now it’s perfect.”
“I…my…I can’t…” Feyre began to babble frantically, but Rhys only offered an indulgent smile and said, “of course you can. Now, did you know that Piglet loves me and allowed me to dress him?” he lied.
“Oh no way! Really?!” she exclaimed, totally falling for his bullshit. “He could be so standoffish. And if he wants to zoom…well, then you can’t even catch him!”
“No?! You don’t say?” Rhys pretended to be shocked, while offering her his arm.
She took it easily, still clutching Piglet to her, her eyes never leaving Rhys’s face.
“May I tell you something?” she requested.
“Well, of course! What is it?”
“I think that you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” she gushed. “And I thought that Azriel was handsome,”
“Well, he is another pretty face for sure. But not as pretty as mine,” Rhys winked at her, and they disappeared inside the huge loft, joking and laughing.
“Did he just give her a tiara?” Nesta questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah…who needs soup when you can just get a tiara,” Elain agreed. 
Turning abruptly to Cassian, Nesta said, “Help me please.”
“With pleasure,” he grinned. 
“I’ll let Elain take her coat off, but please bring the cake into the kitchen,” Nesta commanded, picking up the boxes with buns and pastries, while Cassian lifted the cake.
“Be careful with your bear paws,” she warned him sternly.
“Well, don’t stress me out!” he threw back, and they also disappeared inside the cavernous house, sniping and bickering playfully.
“Well, I don’t know what just happened there,” Azriel twirled his finger in the direction of his brothers, “but something did.”
-
Feyre’s place was wonderful, though very different from Elain’s. The floors were dark, old wide planks, the walls–exposed brick, shiplap, stucco, there were beams above, and soaring ceilings, impressive windows and all sorts of interesting industrial touches. 
“I like our house better,” Azriel decided easily, after he looked around.
Elain smiled at his bluntness, finally taking off her coat. She sat on the arm of the sofa, and unzipped her boots. They were in a small sitting room, where Feyre usually watched TV. Just behind the wall, they heard laughter, clinking of glasses, and the arrival of more guests. Excited compliments of ‘Feyre, look at your tiara!’ ‘Fey are you wearing a crown?!’ ‘Feyre, you are a proper high noble lady’, ‘Should we call you Lady Feyre?’ and so on. They also heard Piglet squealing and galloping around, yelling wawabawa akwakwaka which was his usual call for snacks. Since he was ‘depressed’ earlier today, his snack consumption was quite low compared to his daily snack load.
It was only when Elain turned her head that she gasped and recoiled.
Because Azriel…
He was…
Well…
He was on one knee in front of her. 
“Hi,” he smiled at her, seeing her shocked face.
“What…what are you…ohmygod…what are you doing?!” 
She was literally hyperventilating.
Clutching the front of her dress, she was gasping like a fish, her face flushed.
“Elain, will you,” he began asking solemnly,
“YES!” she cried out, eyes wild. “Yes,”
“Give me your pretty foot,” he continued nonchalantly, smirking to himself.
“Wait, what?” 
“Your foot, pretty girl,” he extended his hand out. 
“You don’t want to…” her voice faded into a whisper.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“I am sure,” she hissed.
“So, you don’t want me to ask you to marry you?” he confirmed, while he took her foot and then pulled out her fancy high-heeled open toe pumps from the bag, and slid one on. 
“No!” she shouted.
“No need to yell, beautiful,” he told her, working on the complex tie and clasp of the shoe. 
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On his knees
“I am not yelling,” she pouted.
“So you didn’t get excited when you saw me on one knee?”
“No.”
“Didn’t think that maybe, just maybe I’ll pull a ring out?”
“No!” 
“Hmmm. You seem a bit upset, sweetheart.”
“I am not upset,” she folded her arms on her chest, as she bit her lip aggressively, trying to stifle the tears that threatened to fall. 
“So you don’t want to marry me?” he pressed.
“No!” she repeated yet again.
“Hmmm,” he gave another annoying hum, and then took her left hand and squeezed her ring finger, before bringing it to his lips and kissing it. “And you don’t want a big diamond ring on this pretty little finger of yours?”
“No!”
“Okay, I am a little sad, as I was planning to stop by Cartier, but if you aren’t interested,”
“You are not going to do it!” she argued petulantly.
He shrugged, “who knows…But seeing as you aren’t interested anyway,”
Quickly she amended, “I am not not interested…”
“Oh no? Because I did think that you looked a bit devastated when you didn’t find me proposing.”
“I am not devastated. I was just surprised,” Elain insisted stubbornly.
He tied her second shoe and then bent to kiss her ankle.
“And if I did, propose that is, what would my Cinderella say to her Prince?”
He wrapped his big, warm hands over her bare legs, rubbing the backs of her knees slowly, as he waited for her answer.
“I don’t know! Can I say ‘yes’ after knowing you for 2 months?”
“You can say ‘yes’ after knowing me for two hours,”
“You called me a cow, and a prissy bird or something like that in the first two hours of our meeting,” she glowered at him.
“You implied that I couldn’t get it up,” he reminded her quickly.
“Ergh, I didn’t mean it,”
“Because I can certainly demonstrate–me getting it up pretty well,” he offered. 
“So you keep saying.”
“And you keep denying me the opportunity,” he scolded, before kissing her hand again. “Look at me,” he ordered, and then lifted her chin, so their eyes met. “The truth is, at the end of the day, you are the one person I want to come home to. You are the only person who I want to tell about my day. You are the one who I want to share my happiness with, my sandnes, my frustrations. So, I’ll ask you, Elain Archeron. And you better say yes. Because there is no getting rid of me.”
Elain wiped her tears with her first. She didn’t even know why she was crying. Probably because she loved him. And the thought of him not asking her to be with him forever did in fact, devastate her. 
“Why are you crying?” he asked gently.
“I dunno,” she admitted, wiping her tears again.
“You don’t have to cry. I am yours. I am.”
“You don’t have anyone else?”
“Nah…” then he stopped and looked at her guiltily, adding,  “Well, I do…” he paused mysteriously and Elain gasped in silent horror.
“You do?!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah…”
“Who is she?”
“Oh, it’s a he,” he said immediately, grinning at her. “He is furry, likes snacks a lot, has three legs, snores and zooms,”
Through her tears, Elain smiled and then pushed him. 
“Are you just going to traumatise me for the rest of the night?” she demanded, finally getting up.
“Do you like me on my knees in front of you, Miss Archeron?”
“That’s the least you can do for putting me through all this nonsense,” she looked down at her legs, her sexy shoes, and sighed. 
“You are gorgeous. A girl of my dreams,”
“Apparently, that’s Rhys–he is in Feyre’s dreams,” Elain said dryly.
“Yeah, he is the girl of her dreams,” Azriel nodded and then rose up, while Elain laughed.
-
Cassian sat in an armchair, observing the revelry in front of him. He swirled his whiskey lazily around the tumbler, feeling mellow. He wasn’t exactly drunk, but he was under the influence for sure. It was a good feeling. The party-loving pug had arrived about fifteen minutes ago, definitely also under the influence of something, because he yawned widely and then raised his front paws, asking Cassian to pick him up. It looked like Piglet had decided that Cassian could join his secret and exclusive pug-pack and Cassian was only too happy to oblige. Now, Piglet was snoring blissfully, his head resting on Cassian’s thigh. Taking his pug-protector duties very seriously, Cassian scowled at anyone who attempted to disturb the sleeping pup, and considering his size and general appearance, no one dared to contradict him. 
“Hey Nes,” he called out. “Come sit with me.”
Nesta, who was walking by, gave him her typical icy look and snapped, “Don’t call me that.”
“What? Nes?” he smiled playfully. “Alright, sweetheart. Whatever you say.”
He patted the seat next to him. It would be a snuggly fit for the two of them, since he took up so much space.
“What do you want?” she demanded, but he noticed that she didn’t exactly walk away.
“Come, sit with me. I’ll tell you a story.”
“I don’t want stories,”
“Sure you do, my prickly rose.”
“You are overly familiar, Mr. Night,” Nesta sipped her white wine, but Cassian reached out and held out his massive hand to her. And Nesta…Nesta…took it. He pulled her to him gently and she stepped closer, before he wrapped his arm around her waist and to her utter dismay, placed her next to him. Piglet moved onto his side, but didn’t wake up.
“The little beastie is tired,” Cassian murmured, his expression soft.
“What do you want, Mr. Night?” she tried again. 
“You remind me of Elain,” he noted simply. “She is mad formal as well.”
“I don’t know you at all!”
“You can find out more. Whatever you want.”
“What do you do?” Nesta asked, squirming next to his massive, muscular body. God he was handsome. Azriel was handsome, hands down maybe the most handsome one out of the three–and that was saying something. Rhysand–not her type, but undeniably beautiful. But this one–objectively, he was probably the least classically handsome, yet to Nesta, he was simply stunning. Everything she didn’t know she liked he possessed. This size of his, the muscles, the strong features, the jet black silky hair tied into a haphazard bun. 
“I am a sports agent,” he answered. “What about you?”
“A barrister.”
“I should’ve guessed. Here is what I think, Miss Archeron,”
“What?”
“You are a very successful, very beautiful, very lonely and very misunderstood woman,”
Nesta jolted in her place, her pale face colouring angrily, her brows knitting together at the audacity of his words. His expression remained calm, almost placid, though, unlike Azriel, this wasn’t a placid man. Undeterred he continued, “And I am guessing that you are knocking on 30 pretty soon, and you aren’t very happy with where you are in life. It should’ve been different, right?”
She attempted to get up, but he held her down, and tsked,
“Before you storm away, let me tell you something,”
“Leave me the hell alone!” she snarled. “You uncouth, rude bastard,”
He chuckled.
“Uncouth, huh? Cute. The Archeron girls are adorable. Now, look at them,” he jerked his head towards the crowd. Reluctantly, Nesta followed his gaze, and watched Elain and Azriel seated next to each other on top of the radiator cover, eating what looked like ice cream. Well, he was holding the bowl, but he was feeding Elain, who was licking the spoon, before he dunked it back into the ice cream, and took a swipe himself. She rested her head on his shoulder, both of her hands wrapped securely around his upper arm, holding onto him like she couldn’t let go. 
It struck Nesta then–how relaxed Elain looked. Elain was always a little bit tense, unless she was with Piglet. She was especially tense around Eris, always worrying about his opinion, always desperate to please him, always seeking his approval, or a rare compliment. Elain worried about her figure, having been told by their mother that she was chubby and that she’d never get married, because men wanted a slender wife. Elain was insecure, old-fashioned, but bold and entrepreneurial, which made for a confusing combination. But never did Nesta observe Elain looking so…content. Happy. At ease. She held on to that big, tattooed, striking man and only had her eyes for him. It didn’t look like the rest of the world existed for her, because he was the centre of it. 
“She is in love,” Nesta breathed, the realisation slamming into her like a hammer.
Azriel was in love, for a long time now, and of that she was sure. But Elain? Elain had fallen too.
Turning abruptly to Cassian, she found him with his hands clasped behind his head, looking mighty satisfied, with a proud smirk on his lips.
“What are you so happy about?” she demanded.
He tsked and said, “I set them up.”
“What are you on about?”
“Without me, they wouldn’t have met! I was the one who contacted her. I was the one who dragged him to meet with her. I was the matchmaker. And look how well I matched them. Now, obviously, this extends to Feyre and Rhys now. If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t have met either,”
“Hold your horses with them! They just met tonight,”
“And yet he crowned her like she was his lady,” Cassian reminded her.
“Which was weird,”
“Rhys likes big gestures,”
“Alright, fine, what do you want? To quit your job as a sports agent and work with Elain as a Junior Matchmaker?”
At that, Cassian laughed, and woke up Piglet. The dog stretched, yawned and then rolled over and quickly located his ma and dad in the crowd. With a happy yip, he jumped off the chair and ran over to them. 
Nesta turned away from Cassian, watching Azriel scoop some ice cream into a soup bowl and let Piglet slurp it all with messy gusto. Nesta knew how much Piglet loved a pup cup, and this was a pup cup on steroids. Elain and Azriel cooed and laughed over their dog, holding hands, watching him, commenting something to each other, and Nesta was struck by another revelation–they were a family. Somewhere along the road, somehow, the three of them formed a family of their own. And Elain was no longer just an Archeron. For almost thirty years, Nesta had her two sisters, and the three Archeron sisters were an unshakable, even somewhat notorious unit. They were regal and beautiful and available and wealthy. They were the Three Sisters. And now…She glanced at Elain again, who was back on the radiator cover, seated with her legs crossed and placed on Azriel’s lap, who held them tightly. Whatever he was saying, was making Elain laugh loudly, her head thrown back. The grouping of empty glasses near her probably played a role as well. But it stung Nesta somewhere deep in her chest. Her beloved sister was no longer hers. Her beloved sister was now beloved by someone else. Elain’s light and softness were well and truly melding with the untamed intensity of Azriel Night. 
“The only one I want to matchmake for, is you,” Cassian said firmly. His tone was steady, but he said it in such a manner that Nesta turned to him, looking into his lovely luminous hazel eyes. 
“And who are you setting me up with exactly?” she asked, cocking her head.
“Me.”
“You?”
“Me. You and I are going on a date.”
“Excuse me?” she almost choked on her wine.
“Why are you surprised, Nes?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“I’ll call you whatever you want me to call you, sweetheart. What do you say? Walk on the wild side? Me and you?” he winked at her.
“You are mad,” he concluded simply.
“Perhaps. Doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”
She stood up from the chair, and he didn’t stop her this time. He just looked at her expectantly.
“Fine,” she said tersely.
Cassian smiled.
“I knew you were a smart girl.”
“I am already regretting it,” she warned.
“You won’t have any regrets. Once I am done with you, you’ll be asking for more and more dates.”
“Doubtful.”
“I’ll prove it.”
She threw him a withering glance, and added,
“The only reason I am saying yes to you is because,”
“My blinding handsomeness? All my bulging muscles? My mighty height? Wicked sense of humour? Winning personality?” he offered.
Nesta rolled her eyes and moaned, “Help me Lord. No, ridiculous man.”
“What then? What secret weapon do I possess that totally made you want to go out with me?”
“Piglet trusts you,” she shrugged, like it didn’t mean much. 
“Oh…”
“And he doesn’t trust many people. I’ve been watching him. He trusts no one like he trusts Azriel. He even trusts Azriel with Elain! Which is unheard of. He is actually capable of leaving her with Azriel and not hovering like he is surgically attached to her. And when I saw today that he actually sought you out and slept next to,”
“That was the turning point?” Cassian chuckled. “The beastie trusting me?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s good to know. He is my wingman. Now, where the fuck is cake?! Are we cutting or what?”
“It’s a birthday, not a wedding,” Nesta reminded him. Cassian took her by the hand, soliciting a small girlish gasp of surprise from her. 
“Yeah…not yet.”
-
Elain was standing, eating birthday cake, chatting with her old classmate Lucien, who was also one of Feyre’s closest friends. Lucien was also distantly related to Eris, which only confirmed yet again how incestuous their circle actually was. Azriel teased her about it, but he was actually correct in his observation. 
Lucien’s been throwing confused glances in Azriel’s direction most of the night, as if trying to figure out who he was to Elain, and what the nature of their relationship was.
But he was too polite to ask, so instead, he joked, “So, when am I going to be set up with someone sexy, smart and successful? What am I, a wet herring?”
Elain laughed.
“All herrings are wet by default,” she told him, “I thought you weren’t interested in matchmaking?”
“I wasn’t. But seeing how well you are doing, I am eager to have you change my mind.”
“Are you ready then?” Elain asked seriously.
A year ago, Lucien was in a very serious car accident, where he lost his eyes in the aftermath. His longtime girlfriend left him shortly afterwards. He’s been devastated ever since, and wouldn’t venture out in any social situations, let alone dates. This was the first time that he decided to attend anything that had more than three guests, and only because he and Feyre went way back.
“I might be. I want to have someone looking at me the way you are looking at him,” and he nodded towards Azriel who was talking in a group of men.
Elain squirmed a bit and blushed at his insinuation.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Eris. Not my business,” he told her quickly.
“Thank you. But Eris hasn’t been in touch for weeks now. It’s nobody’s fault.”
“His loss. Maybe mine as well,” and he looked at her with a longing that made her almost uncomfortable. “But I don’t think it was ever meant to be–you and I.”
“I don’t think so,” she agreed. “We look good on paper. But maybe we don’t work so well as anything but friends.”
“The friendship is good,” Lucien decided, sipping some of his champagne. “Let’s do that. Let’s be friends.”
“And there might be someone of interest who could be a good potential,” Elain murmured thoughtfully, clearly thinking about something.
“Oh yeah?”
“But you’d have to be a client. Formally.”
“At least tell me her name!” he laughed. “What if she has a horrible name!”
“Nuala. How’s that? Can you live with that?”
“Oh. Nuala. I like it!”
“So, if you are serious, then ring me up after New Year’s and we’ll create your profile and will get to work.”
“And you think that this wouldn’t be an impediment?” he asked awkwardly, pointing to his face. 
Elain looked at him and said seriously,
“For some, yes. For others, no. If they can’t see beyond the surface and not understand what you bring then it’s probably not a good match. Or a good person.”
Suddenly a familiar, very muscular, very big hand smacked Elain on the ass. 
She whipped and hissed at the grinning Azriel. Piglet was at his feet, looking up, also grinning smugly.
Before she could unleash, Azriel quickly explained, “It’s my burden, beautiful. Every man’s burden–the need to smack his lady’s juicy rump whenever we are near it.”
“Oh, is that so!!” she exclaimed, while Lucien hid his smile in his champagne flute.
“Listen,” Azriel said somberly, like he was being serious. “It’s not easy. It’s not easy to have these…urges. You think I want to walk around, see your gorgeous arse, and be overcome by an intolerable need to slap it? And then I have to trudge and actually, you know, do it! Slap your yummy buns.”
“Yummy buns?!?!?” 
“Oh goodness…” Lucien laughed. “I think I shall leave you two alone to discuss!”
“Not until you tell her that it’s an uncontrollable urge that all men suffer from?” Azriel insisted, wrapping his arm around Elain’s waist.
“Most of us do,” Lucien confirmed. “Not everyone acts on it though,”
“See, not everyone acts on it!” Elain elbowed Azriel and he bowed dramatically.
“I think it depends on the arse. Yours is too tempting not to smack.”
Once Lucien moved on to another group of guests, Azriel grabbed Elain by the hand and dragged her after him, with Piglet hot on their heels.
“You are not having messy sex with me in the closet!” she warned.
He didn’t answer, but threw her her coat and her boots, while lunging at Piglet and taking him by surprise before he could escape.
“Are we leaving?” Elain asked, looking around and at her coat in confusion.
“No. But put it on. We are gonna go out for a sec.”
She frowned at his abruptness, but took off her heels and pulled on her socks and then her boots, before tying her coat with a belt. Piglet was wearing his jacket too, though he looked unamused and put off by the fact that he wasn’t chased around. Azriel even pulled on Piglet’s knit hat, while he dressed himself, and then taking Elain’s hand, he had the three of them sneak out quietly. 
The moment they were outside, Elain gasped softly and threw her head back. 
The world had turned white.
Snow.
Thick, fluffy piles of snow had fallen in the past few hours and now covered everything in pristine brilliant whiteness. It swirled in the lemony light of street lights, falling silently all around them.
Piglet looked up, awed. 
This was a new and beautiful thing that he didn’t remember from before. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and he caught snowflakes on his nose, licking his lips loudly. Then, with a happy howl, Piglet burst forth and galloped through the snow, rolling in it and screeching joyfully.
Elain bounced on her heels, clapping her hands excitedly, laughing and also trying to catch some snowflakes on her tongue.
“This is better than sex in the closet!” she giggled, spreading her arms wide.
Azriel came behind her and wrapped his arm across her chest.
“Fuck sex,” he whispered into her ear, his lips warm and tender on her cold skin. She shivered at the proximity, because of how good he smelled, and because he enveloped her in his warmth and his bigness. He continued, his cheek scraping against her own.
“I am trying to be your home, you know. Your safe place. Your go-to person for happy and for sad. I am looking to be the reason you smile, and laugh and clap your hands.”
“Az,” she breathed and turned in his arms, looking up at him. Her chocolate-brown eyes were filled with tears. Tears of love. They rolled silently over her cheeks, while Azriel smiled down at her and whispered, 
“We're still gonna have rough sex though.”
Before she could answer, he gently took her jaw in his fingers and tilted her face so it lined up with his. 
“I want to kiss you, Elain,” he said seriously, his breath fanning over her lips.
“Kiss me then,” she permitted. Thick, white clumps of snow fell on Azriel’s black hair, his eyelashes, her hands that clutched at his shoulders. Her tears dried up and she breathed heavily, disoriented and aroused at once.
And then, Azriel kissed her.
His lips were heavenly. 
Soft and light at first, tentative and gentle. 
She tensed against him, the bulk of his body shielding her from the world. And in this world, in her world, there was only him.
His kiss was tender, but firm, luxuriant and dominant at once. He gripped her face in his massive hands, squeezing tightly and holding her in place, but his lips were soft and loving on her mouth. He didn’t hurry, but tasted her thoroughly, enjoyed the scent of her sugar- and wine-tinted mouth. She tasted delicious–like he always thought she would. Butter and honey and pastry and everything nice. Everything that was Elain. She was sweet and homey and familiar, and he felt like he’d kissed her a million times before. 
His tongue parted her lips at last, and he continued his exploration, but it grew hungrier and more urgent as the kiss progressed. A groan of primal, animalistic pleasure escaped his throat, reverberating against her lips and Elain trembled in his arms, growing hot and needy, despite the falling snow and the sharp wind. 
She felt consumed by him, and yet, worshipped at the same time. Just like always. He ignited feelings in her which she’d never experienced before–didn’t even think that she was capable of them. It was raw and hot, and left her feeling lightheaded and overwhelmed. Elain didn’t care about anything at that moment, nothing but Azriel Night, the man she came to love so desperately and completely. 
She arched into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding the back of his head, while he cupped her head and delved deeper into her mouth, licking and sucking on her tongue. His other hand fell away from her face and slipped down her back, before pressing into her hip and pushing her closer to him. 
Elain was well aware of his general size and how he was big everywhere. But feeling him now, thick and hard against her belly, definitely aroused–finally made her feel like a woman. She felt desired. Needed. Wanted. Big, strong, powerful, towering Azriel, and she was his undoing right now. Little Elain, whom no one took seriously. Azriel Night was kissing her. Panting for her. Growling in his chest like a beast because of how she made him feel.
She didn’t know that she needed this kiss until his mouth took possession of hers. To say that she’d never been kissed like this before was an understatement of the century. Azriel licked and sucked on her mouth, nipping on her lips, biting them until they were swollen beneath his. It was then that she released a ragged, pitiful moan of pleasure, because he ground himself between her legs and her breasts rubbed into his solid chest, intensifying her pleasure, making her feel everything. 
“This is the sound I want to hear when I am inside of you,” he murmured into her mouth, kissing her lightly, before clamping his teeth over her jaw. 
Elain felt his heart pounding against her own, and she howled into the night when he bit her neck, sucking in on the delicate skin and marking her as his anew. He sucked and bit her and she staggered back, almost falling out of his arms. He didn’t let go of her, but only growled like a beast, panting into her skin, his lips and teeth working themselves deep into her flesh, while his arms banded around her. Elain gasped from the pain and the sublime pleasure, because hearing him grunt and growl like that might have been the sexiest sound she’d ever heard. 
“I want them all to know who you belong to,” he whispered, returning to her lips and kissing her hard and sloppily. She loved this untamed, wild side of him, where he lost his control and revealed the true nature of him and his utter obsession with her. “To me. You belong to me,” he chanted. “Mine.”
“Yours,” she nodded, kissing his lips, kissing his eyes, then his tongue, then his lips again. She was the one to lose control of the situation just as well. If he wanted to fuck her against the wall of her sister’s house, she’d let him. She was achy everywhere, tense and wet between her legs, and when he boldly thrust his hand under her dress, and between her damp thighs, he smiled.
His thumb brushed against her slit, and between kisses he asked, “all for me?”
“All for you,” she nodded, biting his neck hard and leaving teeth marks on his skin.
“I guess you want me to be yours as well?” he joked, and then pulled his hand away from her pussy and licked his thumb. Before she could answer, he kissed her again, his tongue sliding against hers and allowing her to taste her own essence. It felt forbidden and scandalous and not something that Elain’s done before, but she liked it. She liked everything. And this kiss…it was unreal. It was unreal in its intensity and its pure eroticism. Who could even kiss like that? Apparently Azriel Night could. She was buzzing. Head to toe she was shivering, her fingers and toes were tingling, her tongue couldn’t get enough of him, of his taste, of how he felt against her own tongue. 
Once they pulled apart to get some air into their lungs, Azriel smiled at her and rubbed his cold nose against hers. 
“Can I kiss you now any time I want to?” he asked.
“Yes!!” she just about yelled. “And I will be kissing you!”
He clasped his hands on the small of her back and kissed her again, “well, that’s brilliant, because I really, really like kissing you.”
He then reached between their bodies and said, “Now, look what I have!”
“What?”
From his pocket, he took out a…carrot. 
“Stole it from Fey,” he said conspiratorially, as if it explained something to the very perplexed Elain.
He grabbed her hand and said, “come on! We are building a snowman!”
“Now?”
“Well, of course now!” he said, looking at her like she was silly. “Next year we might be building one with our baby. This year, we gotta build it with our fur son.”
“What baby?!” she gasped, as he tugged her along, to the clearing where Piglet was burrowing through the snow, rolling in it and howling with excitement.
“You know–son, daughter. Baby.”
“We are having a baby now?”
“Starts with kissing, ends with a baby. That’s how it is.”
“I wasn’t planning on having any babies,” Elain argued feebly, but he only said, “plans change’.
The snow was thick and wet, but there wasn’t heaps of it, since it was London, after all. 
“You do the head, I’ll do the base,” Azriel instructed, assessing the situation and figuring that they’d have enough snow for a small, modest snowman.
Turned out that Elain sucked at making a snowman. She wasn’t wearing gloves and her hands kept getting cold, so Azriel needed to continuously interrupt his own work, so he could blow into and kiss her freezing palms, which only descended into more kissing…mouth kissing. Meanwhile, their stupid pug kept destroying the round snow mounds that they managed to construct by jumping into them and rolling around happily. Elain’s boots were soaked through as well, so by the time Azriel finally managed to roll a decent base, he had to give his girl a piggyback ride, because she was freezing and shaking, while laughing uproariously. She was also filming his work on her phone, while Piglet hopped around them, trying to understand what was happening. Hanging precariously off Azriel’s back, Elain finally managed to roll a decent-enough ball, which they hefted together and carefully placed on top of the other ball. 
“Pink, we need a stick,” Azriel instructed, and Piglet took off before Azriel even finished talking.
“Whoa,” he breathed, as Elain laughed, her arms wrapped around his neck, and her lips constantly making contact with his face. “I guess he really wanted that stick.”
Piglet returned with a stick, tossed it to Azriel, who fashioned one arm out of it, before sending the pug to fetch another. Soon their snowman had two arms, a couple of coins for eyes, and then, with great fanfare, Elain pushed the carrot into the head. 
She barely managed to take a few photos and a short video for Piglet’s Insta account, before he began to circle the snowman curiously, barking and growling at it, and then attacking it viciously.
“Why are you so mean?!” Elain cried. “You are supposed to be gentle with it! Don’t eat it!”
Oh yeah, he was gonna eat it. 
Piglet savagely munched on pieces of the snowman, licking and pulling clumps of snow, smacking his lips. 
“Fucking animal,” Azriel laughed, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Elain. “Are you cold?”
“I am,” she nodded. “But I don’t want to go back inside. This is so much fun!”
“Yeah? What else is fun?” he teased.
She drew her knuckles over his cheek, his now-wet hair and then stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his cold mouth. He didn’t have to be asked twice and quickly took over, capturing her sweet mouth with his and eagerly coaxing her plump, buttery-scented lips apart. She whimpered against him, especially when his hands boldly slid to cup the curve of her behind, slipping beneath the coat and making her shiver from the cold. She didn’t care. She sighed warmly and deliciously into his mouth and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, her cold, wet fingers tangling in his hair. Caressing his tongue with her own she opened up eagerly to the kiss, and Azriel responded in kind, deepening the caress of his tongue, kissing her filthy and hot, his lips both teasing, and dominating at once. It was dirty and open-mouthed, her kisses loud and maddeningly sticky, rendering his brain to almost naught–all he saw and felt was his gorgeous girl, finally, nearly all his.
Elain moaned against him and Azriel…pulled away abruptly and yelled, “Piglet! The fuck, you weirdo?!”
Elain turned around and gasped in shock, not knowing whether to scream, cry or laugh. So she did all three–laughing so hard, that tears sprung in her eyes.
Because Piglet burrowed into the snowman and successfully pulled out the carrot, which he was now crunching on, though it looked like he was making out with the snowman.
“Dr. Hannibal Piglet Lecter,” Azriel muttered. “Fucking savage pug.” 
Azriel grabbed her phone and filmed the carnage.
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From Piglet's Instagram: The carrot is no more
“This should pay for his upkeep for a month,” he said, knowing that the video will garner a million likes and comments. 
Gripping the half-eaten carrot in his mouth Piglet rushed to them and demanded that Azriel pick him up. 
“That’s it? You just give up?” Azriel laughed, as he grabbed the dog and pulled Elain closer to him.
When they returned to the house, the first thing they were greeted by was Nesta and Cassian, glaring at them and arms crossed on their chests.
“We saw you making out!” Cassian declared like he was Mother Superior at a convent.
“Guess the two of you failed as chaperones!” Azriel shrugged indifferently, while he helped Elain out of her coat.
“We didn’t fail!” Nesta bristled. “You two are out of control!”
Little did she know.
-
The next day
Dev arrived around 11:30 am. He hadn’t asked Azriel this yet, but he had wondered where Azriel planned to live once he and Elain got married. Elain’s house made much more sense for a family, not to mention that her office was here as well. But if Azriel was going to move here, Dev needed to consider where he was going to move as well. Russell Square, Holborn, Fitzrovia were really out of his budget. Azriel paid well, but these were some prime locations, and he’d have to rob a bank to afford something nice. Shame that he wasn’t a footballer who grew up with a billionaire duke, or a little heiress who inherited a damn mansion just because. Considering her sister’s place last night, Dev definitely thought that it was better to be born wealthy and healthy, than poor and ill. 
The pug came out first, dressed in a full on morning suit, with a pale blue silk tie no less. He barked his greeting and headed for the car.
“Shake?” Dev asked, extending his hand. Piglet gave him his paw. Then Elain and Azriel came out of the house, holding hands like teenagers. No doubt about it, his old mate Azriel Night, the quiet, scarred boy whom Dev met in a group home when they were around eleven was in love. Azriel, who didn’t say much, leaving the talking to his rambunctious brother Cassian, but who possessed incredible speed, the ability to appear and disappear like a ghost, and a mean left hook that could fall even a grown man in a few seconds–that Azriel was now all grown up. And Dev was proud of him. Azriel deserved something good in his life. Something nice. Something pure and genuine. And this sweet little matchmaker of his, this fancy noble Lady and her posh pug somehow, amazingly, fit the bill.
Azriel opened the car door for Elain, and just as she climbed inside, he slapped her arse.
“I am a gentleman, baby,” he announced. “Always a man, not always gentle.”
“You can’t be like this in front of my father!” she warned.
“Oh, meeting the family?” Dev chuckled. “You ready for that, big man?”
“I’d have to meet him one day,” Azriel shrugged. “Guess today is the day.”
“So, where to? Kensington Palace? Buckingham?” Dev joked. Would he be terribly surprised of Elain said ‘yes’? not really. 
“Mayfair,” she said. “Mount St.”
Of course. Dev wasn’t even surprised. An ultra posh street with Balenciaga, Rubinacci and exclusive jewellery stores, a caviar and champagne restaurant Scott’s, as well as the luxury Connaught hotel where basic rooms went for 1,000 quid a night. 
“We usually go to Annabel’s for all of our birthdays,” Elain explained, and both Azriel and Dev shook their heads. 
“Let me guess. Dad is a member?” Azriel chuckled. Annabel’s was an elegant private club with a dance floor for the famous, the dressed-up and the well-heeled.
Elain pursed her lips, indicating that he was. 
“So why not today?”
“Feyre texted and said that we should go to dad’s,” Elain said. “Said to bring you,”
“Oh boy. I am getting somewhat nervous,” he joked, but Dev, who knew Azriel for a long, long time, noticed a note of worry in his friend’s voice. Azriel was all jokes and nonchalance and elegant swagger, but he was going to meet the father of the girl he loved. And that meant something. It was important.
It wasn’t a long drive and Dev soon parked next to a massive, three story Edwardian mansion. It was red brick with white trim and actual columns. Piglet barked excitedly, recognising the place. 
“You’re going to go see grandpa?” Elain asked, stroking his head. Piglet barked again, raring to go.
“Whenever I have to leave him with my father–especially if I go on a holiday–I come back, and it’s basically ‘I shall require organic vegetables three times a day with freshly churned butter. A pup cup of the finest double cream delivered daily and milked from a prized cow in Oxfordshire. For dinner, I shall dine on a lightly seared steak, a bit of duck confit and a brioche toast. Oh, and a couple of mini cannoli straight from Naples’.”
“Somehow, I am not even a little bit surprised,” Azriel admitted and Dev nodded in agreement. 
“The level of spoiling that he receives from my father is criminal.”
Azriel told himself that he was not nervous, when Elain took his arm, and they walked under the portico, the doors opening as if by magic.
There was a butler, who greeted them and called Elain ‘Lady Elain’. They walked through wide marble hallways and sitting rooms, Azriel feeling decidedly out of place even if he wouldn’t show it. Piglet tore through the house, howling happily, unconcerned about anything, and by the time they saw him next, it was in the dining room where a middle-aged gentleman was cooing and hugging the pug, rocking him like he was a baby. 
To Azriel’s surprise, Nesta was here too, but also Cassian–which was unexpected, to say the least. Cassian raised his shoulders, indicating that he had no idea why he was here, though it didn’t look like he was greatly burdened by the company. 
“Daddy!” Elain went to her father and he smiled at her. 
“Good morning, pumpkin,”
Pumpkin? That made Azriel smile. But the nickname fit. She was his little pumpkin.
“Please meet Mr. Azriel Night,” Elain introduced them. “My father, Sir Charles Archeron.”
“Arsenal captain,” the older man nodded knowingly. “My girls are Tottenham fans. I am an Arsenal man myself. Though I do enjoy rugby a lot as well.”
“I am slowly pulling Elain and Piglet to my side,” Azriel teased. 
“Oh, I saw all the photos on that Instagram that Elain has for the pup. He looked like a Gunner born and bred.”
Azriel laughed, “You follow him too?”
“How can I not,” he squeezed Piglet lovingly. “Barring my girls giving me actual grandchildren, this is so far, my only grand-pup,” he said dramatically.
Nesta rolled her eyes. Elain rolled her eyes.
And both groaned.
“This is what happens every time I mention grandchildren,” Mr. Archeron complained.
Just as he said the words, Rhys entered the room, holding a champagne flute, with Feyre on his arm. 
“Oh, you’ve arrived!” Feyre exclaimed with a wide smile. “I was just showing Rhys around.”
“Why are we all here, by the way?” Nesta asked impatiently. “I was looking forward to Annabel’s.”
“Forgive the change of plans,” Rhysand said breezily. “We’ll be sure to go to Annabel’s soon.”
“Well then, what is it?” Nesta sipped her mimosa, while silent servants circulated around the room with trays of champagne. “We are all here now.”
“I am curious myself,” Mr. Archeron agreed, while he gave Piglet a piece of cheese. “And I am pleasantly surprised to see my three daughters with such fine gentlemen. All here together, today.”
Nesta was about to protest the implication that she was here with Cassian, but Cassian put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, effectively quieting her down.
Rhysand and Feyre exchanged a glance, and then he said,
“Feyre and I got married earlier today. She is now Marchioness Feyre Archeron-Darling, Lady Darling. My wife.”
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teacupcollector · 1 year ago
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Hvitzerk: *Giving the Lap Dance* Y/N: *Receiving The Lap Dance* Ragnarsons: *The Groomsmen* Aslaug: *Shocked*
This is a modern AU in my head, but I was unable to figure out how to write it and be funny xD. I am open to Viking requests. I am about to start rewatching it, so I will try my best to be accurate to the character.
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peachymilkandcream · 1 year ago
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Levi x Evelyn
Feel free to drop in my asks at anytime to ask for a headcanon, scenario, or to ask a question! ^^
Please read the Rules before requesting! ^^
Lists: Main series'|Main series' no.2|Oneshots|Oneshots no.2|Headcanons
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Break Me Slowly: (Series) ->
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6 (🍑)
Part 7
Part 8 (🍑)
Part 9 (🍑)
Part 10
Part 11 (🍑)
Part 12 (🍑)
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17 (Slight 🍑)
Part 18
Part 19 (Slight 🍑)
Part 20
Part 21
Part 22 (🍑)
Part 23
Part 24
Part 25
Part 26
Part 27
Part 28 (🍑)
Part 29
Part 30 (Finale)
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Ready Or Not: (Series) ->
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10 (Finale)
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Written In Blood: Modern AU (Series): ->
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5 (🍑)
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12 (🍑)
Part 13
Part 14 (🍑)
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17 (🍑)
Part 18 (🍑)
Part 19 (🍑)
Part 20 (Finale)
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Kingdom Of Ash And Greed AU (Series): ->
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 (Slight 🍑)
Part 4 (🍑)
Part 5 (🍑)
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9 (🍑)
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12 (🍑)
Part 13 (Slight 🍑)
Part 14 (🍑)
Part 15
Part 16 (Finale)
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My Prize [Viking AU] (Series) ->
Part 1 Part 2
Part 3 (🍑)
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6 (🍑)
Part 7 (🍑)
Part 8 (Finale)
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Payment [Mafia AU] (Series) ->
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10 (Finale)
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fioiswriting · 1 year ago
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💫 About me...
Hi !! My name’s Fio, I’m in my late 20s and when I’m not writing, I’m reading, making cosplays with my wonderful girlfriend, playing video games or studying to be a history teacher.
I created this sideblog to post my fanfictions. I have severe social anxiety but I LOVE getting comments and requests!! My ask box is always open and I'm nice, I promise <3
English is not my first language, so please excuse the grammar/syntax errors or spelling mistakes. I can write in French (my native language) or in Italian too. As I'm very busy, I tend to write very slowly, so I can't tell you exactly when I'll be posting or updating.
Keep it mind that it will mostly be a nsfw blog. MDNI ♡
Hope you enjoy your time here !! ♥
Sometimes I talk about myself using the tag the exciting life of fio, but you can block it
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💫 Main fandoms...
House of the Dragon ♥
Game of Thrones
Star Wars (mainly prequel trilogy & clone wars era)
The Last Kingdom
Vikings
Kaamelott
Arcane
Overwatch
Reign
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💫 Currently writing...
Daemon Targaryen x Jace girlfriend!reader - modern AU
The sea and the fire (Aemond x reader) - chapter 2
Cregan Stark x reader (request)
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💫 Masterlist
House of the dragon
Aemond Targaryen
Reunion [+18] | finished | Aemond x niece!reader | angst with comfort Or when you find your presumed dead former husband 3 years later. Part 1 - Part 2 The sea and the fire | on going | Aemond x niece!reader | angst Or when you're married to your childhood sweetheart who becomes your enemy and you get lost in the terrible maze of politics. Chapter 1 The dragon and his little rose | on going | Aemond x Tyrell!Reader | beauty and the beast retelling Or when you offer yourself to the beast to free your people.
Prologue
Aemond Targaryen & Alys Rivers
The lust we share [+18] | one shot | finished | Aemond x wife!Reader x Alys | pwp Or when your husband takes you to Harrenhal and you met his lover.
Cregan Stark
Soon
Daemon Targaryen
Soon
Jacaerys Velaryon
Muña [+18] | one shot | finished | Jacaerys x aunt!Reader | pwp Or when you're married to your nephew, and find he's turned into a strong man with a mommy kink.
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