#modern criminal au
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Dreamin of You
Modern Dark Actor Aemond X (Non-Famous GF Reader)
Warnings below
Word Count: 3065
Modern Aemond Masterlist
Full Masterlist
Banners by @arcielee
Warnings:: Jealousy, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, Dubcon, insecurity, unprotected sex (p in v), oral sex (F receiving)
Based on THIS request
"Aemond! Over here!" You cringe at the noise, a man with a camera nearly screeching into your ear.
Aemond shields his eyes, trying to block out the flashing of the cameras as he tightens his arm around you, pulling you through the crowd.
It has been about a year since he got his big break. The leading man on a hit show that streams on Netflix. One of this year's biggest hits.
His life entirely changed nearly overnight, changing yours right along with it. You could no longer go out in public with him. You would be swarmed by cameras and people reaching out and grabbing at him. Women yelled out to him that they loved him.
Oh, how the women scream for him.
It doesn't surprise you. He is handsome and charming, not to mention tall, with a jawline that could cut diamonds.
Aemond used to be a quiet man. Hiding in the shadows. Shy and self-conscious. His disability made him bow out from most social situations unless you were there.
You had met Aemond back in primary school. Growing up beside him, you knew him better than anyone else. Or at least you used to.
The man standing beside you now, curling you up in his arm, is not the same man he was just one short year ago, and the realization hit you recently.
You had accompanied him to a photo shoot as you often do. Watching him flit about the place, shaking hands and charming them all with that beautiful smile. The two female models on set hanging on his every word. One being so forward as to brush her hand on his arm. Which he allowed.
Every day, you felt the pressure of his newfound fame start to squeeze into every facet of your life.
You had never been an insecure person. Never. Now you found yourself constantly comparing.
Aemond had been approached by models, a fellow actress, and even a pretty popular musician, and when you look at them and then at yourself, it's obvious that there is simply no comparison.
He is going to leave you or cheat on you at some point, which has you constantly on edge. You had been denying this, but what man wouldn't? What man would stay with his average before fame girlfriend when he could have a lingerie model? A pop star?
You know that he loves you and you love him too, but sometimes love is just not enough.
That's how you find yourself here. Standing in his living room, watching him update his Instagram after fighting your way through a sea of photographers.
Your stomach feels sick as you watch him, trying to build up the courage to say what has been bouncing around in your head for weeks.
"It's time," you whisper to yourself.
You clear your throat as you gently shake out your limbs. "Aemond? I....I need to talk to you."
"Course." He doesn't lift his head from his phone, no doubt jumping on every notification coming from his social media accounts.
"It's important"
He lifts his head and furrows his brow.
"Everything alright, love?" He turns his phone screen down toward his lap to show you that you have his full attention.
You open your mouth to speak and immediately the anxiety of what you're about to do hits you like a tidal wave. Am I doing this? Really doing this?
Aemond can sense the panic that is coursing through you and stands up and quickly walks to you, taking your hands.
"Don't be afraid, love, tell me what's going on," He squeezes gently. His tenderness makes this all so much more difficult.
"I think it's...... Aemond? I..... I'm leaving" the relief you feel at finally telling him is soothing, it's done. You've said it. No take backs.
"Leave?" Aemond grips his phone tightly, his knuckles turning white as he turns his head from you. "Leave where? Go where? For what purpose?"
"Aemond..... I mean leave..... us. This" You turn your head in an effort to avoid that eye. You know you shouldn't look away. It's you who is doing this to the both of you. What right do you have to be sad?
The gentleness on his face is replaced with shock, and he turns his back to you, taking a few steps away. His silence is deafening, but you want to be fair. Give him a moment to process this.
"I... I just don't think we fit anymore, I'm so happy for you, Aemond. You're so talented, and all this that's happening to you? You deserve it, and i want you to have it." You recoil slightly at your own words. You've been thinking it for months, but saying it out loud, saying it to him. It's so painful. So final. "But, there's no room here for me anymore"
As you feel the all too familiar sting in your eyes, you watch his form turned away from you. You want him to look at you. Let you know that he understands that you don't want to hurt him. That this is what is best for both of you.
Instead, he chuckles, and you're hit with a wave of confusion before he turns around and stalks toward you. "Leaving? You think you're leaving me?" The smirk that creeps its way onto his face sends shivers down your spine.
He clicks his tongue as he reaches you, pulling you in tight against his chest.
"You don't get to leave." He coos. "No, my darling, you'll stay right here." he gently runs his fingers through your hair, the movement comforting and menacing.
The little hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Who is this? This isn't the Aemond you know. Kind gentle, Aemond.
No, this person is someone else.
His lifts your face to him by your chin and kisses you gently. The way he moves between loving and domineering so seamlessly, it's as if there are two of him.
"You are mine little dove." He chuckles again as he looks down at you, the gleam in his eye, conveying a message that you are having trouble reading.
"Things have changed yes, we will figure out how to make you more comfortable, but one thing remains constant and that is you."
"You don't get to decide that." You wanted to say this with conviction but it comes out weak and feeble. You and Aemond have hardly ever fought and when you do, he wins every time.
Aemond sighs and smiles. "But I do. See i decide if we stay together. Me, and i have decided that we will. Now if there are things that we can work on to make you more comfortable I am happy to do that" He pushes his face into the crook of your neck as he whispers, " It's what's best for both of us"
You push him back, his arrogance finally pushing you over the edge.
"Who are you? Huh? This isn't you! This arrogant, entitled twat!" The dam that was holding back all of your frustrations fully bursts and you can't help yourself from offloading.
"You flirt with models right in front of me, you-"
"IT'S AN ACT!" He explodes, and you jump back, his voice unrecognizable.
"You think I want them? Those vapid cunts?" He grips your arm tight and shoves you down onto the sofa. The movement jarring.
"Don't shove me!" You move to get up but he leans down caging you in with his arms.
"When I sleep, I dream of you, when awake, I dream of you, when I do anything, I dream of you. There is not another for me, not in this lifetime or the next."
You push your body back on the sofa, trying to put a little distance between the two of you. He glares at you for a moment, lowering his arms from the sofa and bringing them to your shoulders.
"If you leave, I will find you, and I will drag you back to me" He slowly drops to his knees in front of you, sliding his arms down the length of your body in the process. "I'll always find you."
Your eyes widened slightly in fear. His love has always been expressed in gentleness, kind gestures, and soft caresses.
"What happened to being partners? Since when have you owned me as you seem to think?"
"I always have." He looks at you, not with malice, not with hubris, but with a look that tells you he takes this to be simple fact.
He pushes your skirt up, and begins trailing kisses up your thigh.
"Aemond.... we shouldn't. " His grip on your thigh tightens, but he doesn't stop. Your mind is telling you to push him away, stop him but your body is succumbing to his dangerous allure, like a lamb to the slaughter.
The closer he gets to your heat, the faster you lose your resolve. He's always had this effect on you. When he kisses you, touches you, loves on you, you all too quickly fall to your knees.
He slides his hand up your other thigh, slipping it under your skirt until he reaches your hip, gently squeezing at the flesh there.
You close your eyes and lean back on the sofa as he continues to lick and nip at your thigh. Every touch of his skin to yours sending currents of electricity through your veins.
"We're gonna be fine darlin" His voice is hynotizing. Just a moment ago you wanted to punch him in the face and now you are spreading your legs wider to give him enough room to fit his face between your thighs.
"That's a good girl, such a good girl" He moves his hand from your hip to your heat gently caressing you through the thin fabric of your thong.
"For someone who thinks we shouldn't be doing this you are very very wet" You feel the embarrasment rush to your cheeks but are unable to stop yourself from gently bucking your hips upward.
Aemond chuckles and clicks his tongue. "Is that was this was all about hmm? Have I been neglecting you sweet girl?" He moves your thong to the side and brings his finger to the wetness pooling there. "Hmmm seems I have, you poor poor thing" He mocks with fake sympathy.
You sigh as he grips your thighs dragging you to the edge of the sofa. pushing your skirt all the way up and exposing you to him.
"So fucking pretty" He leans forward and flicks the tip of his tongue on your pearl. Your leg twitches in response and he pulls his head back.
You groan at his teasing scooting your body closer to his face, as he starts to chuckle.
"Now, now sweet girl. I'm going to need you to admit, that you aren't going anywhere." He lightly scratches at the sensitive skin on your thigh with his thumbnail. You were supposed to break up and leave, This life with him was making you miserable. "Give me what I want, and I will return the favor" He again leans forward and flicks the very tip of your clit twice.
The teasing is starting to drive you to madness, you came into this room with conviction and a plan but it looks like you would leave this room with shame and satisfaction. "Fine! I'm not leaving, I'm not, I promise, I promise!" You feel a mix of discomfiture and arousal coursing through you but at this point you just don't care.
"Mmmmm" is the only sound he makes before again leaning forward and taking your engorged nerve into his mouth and sucking on it harshly.
"Fuckkkk Aem" You bring your hand down and grip his head, pushing his head closer to you and he is more than happy to oblige.
He slides a long course finger into you while he continues to swallow at your pearl. The sensations have your legs shaking uncontrollably, and as if your hips have a mind of their own, they buck gently against Aemonds face as he gives you everything he knows you want.
His finger crooks inside you, rubbing at the pad inside, gently calling your orgasm to him.
"Oh fuck ahhh!" Your whole body stiffens as he quickens the pace of both his mouth and finger.
As you tumble forward into your peak, you squeeze your legs around his head, the blood rushing to your face heating up your entire body. Is this heaven, or have you been tricked into hell?
After you finish sitting dumbstruck on the sofa, Aemond wastes no time. He slides towards you on his knees, wrapping his hand around your waist.
You rest your exhausted head on his shoulder and wrap your legs around his hips. With just one arm he lifts you slightly off the couch and slowly rises to his feet, you feel the muscles in his chest and shoulders tighten as he lifts you and himself from the floor carrying you into the bedroom. His hard cock pressed against you.
"Have I got you all stupid for me, sweet girl?"
You make some incoherent noises as he gently drops you onto the bed and climbs on top of you.
"I love you" He breathes the words directly into your ear, the sadness in his voice not lost on you. He slots himself between your legs tightly gripping your thigh and pulling it up against him.
"You can't ever leave ok?" He roughly kisses you before you can respond while he pulls you closer by the thigh pushing himself up tight against your core. "Not ever".
Aemond ruts against you, still fully clothed. "Can't live without ya." His voice sounds strained like this is taking everything out of him. "Won't live without ya." His movements become more rough, more desperate.
He pulls back from you just long enough to get your panties off, disposing of his boxers and trousers in the process, before slotting himself back between your legs.
He slides an arm under your back, bringing his hand to the back of your neck, raising your face to his.
"All I want is you. All I've ever wanted is you." His lips meet yours in a searing kiss, a kiss that screams don't go.
He pushes himself against your entrance, begging to be let in. You lean back further parting your legs and he pushes forward slowly.
"Fuck, I love you, oh gods I love you" He moans as he fills you up. Once he reaches the hilt, he lies down on top of you, sliding both of his arms under your shoulders before he gently starts to move against you.
Your bodies are pressed together so tight. You can hardly tell there are two separate people here.
"I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go," he repeats this over and over as his speed increases, his voice changing from desperate to domineering.
He grips your shoulders tightly, holding your body in place as he ruts up into you. "Do you understand now? You can never leave. I love you. You're mine. " his thrusts are slowly getting harder, as the heat again builds up in your abdomen.
"Fucking mine. Always mine. Forever mine," he growls the words at you as he bites into your neck.
"I'm gonna fill you up." He bites into your shoulder, pushing himself as far into you as he can get, but pushing ever still. He can't be close enough to you. He can't be far enough inside. Everything feels like it's just not enough.
He pulls back from you, has his speed increases, and his rhythm falters.
"Cmon cum for me sweet girl" He licks his thumb and brings it to your nub pressing down harshly on the nerve, his movements furious.
You whine out, your legs trembling as you feel your lower stomach growing tighter and tighter, the feeling overwhelming but so good. "Aem." You whimper, "ohhh gods"
"No baby, it's just me." He watches in wonder as you reach your peak for a second time, arching your back and yelling out loud.
"That's good. That's a good girl. Fuck yes baby" His movements become sloppy and he grips your hips tightly as he chases his release. "Say you love me," he growls his hips smacking against your skin with a loud slap sound as you moan out riding out the top of your pleasure.
"Fucking say it" he grunts as he tries to hold back his climax, "Please baby say it." His face is contorted somewhere between pleasure and pain until you acquiesce.
"I love you." The words flow from your mouth so delicately, so naturally. There was never a question as to whether you loved him. The question is whether that love is enough.
Hearing the words from your tongue immediately sends Aemond into the climax he was fighting as he screams out like some kind of feral animal thrusting into you harshly as he rides out his high, collapsing onto your chest leaving himself sheathed inside.
"I love you too"
You wake up the next morning to the alarm on your phone going off and grumble, turning it off and rolling onto your side, looking at a sleeping Aemond. Feeling ashamed of yourself for giving into him last night.
As you slide out of the bed to get ready for work he reaches out and grips your wrist tight.
"Where are you going?" His eyes are still closed and his body hasn't moved the only thing alerting you to his consciousness being the hand tightly gripping your wrist, and his voice.
"To work?" You move again to get out of the bed thinking the matter settled.
"Oh, no we are sending your letter of resignation today" He opens his eyes and shifts in the bed stretching but not releasing your wrist.
"Aemond, i'm not quitting my job!" You can't believe he would even think that was an option. You love your job. Why would you quit? Why would he even want you to? You look towards him in utter confusion as he slightly tightens the grip on your wrist.
"You can't go. You might not come back." He yanks you back into the bed crawling on top of you.
"Like I said before. You're gonna stay right here"
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#aemond fanfiction#modern aemond x reader#modern aemond fanfiction#modern aemond/ you#dark aemond x reader#modern aemond#modern aemond angst#modern au#ewan nation#ewan mitchell#ewanverse#ewan mitchell verse#ewan mitchell fanfic#jess fics#my modern war criminal bf
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INTERESTING
Finally finished this post, so here it is to take your mind off v8
Modern Criminal AU
Ruby Rose
She, like the rest of RWBY, is a high school dropout. She pursues a life of crime, being inspired by her sister’s. She romanticizes the idea of being a criminal though she shouldn’t.
In this AU, Summer is alive and well, so this Ruby does differ a bit from canon Ruby. She begins as a naive but very much capable girl. Though, slowly, she becomes more and more stressed with every obstacle thrown her way.
Weiss Schnee
Before the start of the story, Weiss was disowned and thrown out of Schnee Manor. She’s forced into having to survive on her own until she meets the girls.
She wants revenge against her father. She only joins the team because of it. She’s snarky and rude. Blake and Yang really only see her as a nuisance. Ruby tries to get her to come around and be a friend.
Blake Belladonna
She was originally in a different group of criminals. But, in her mind, the others don’t have to know that. She’s quiet, keeps to herself. When annoyed, she’ll lash out. She’s pessimistic as hell.
Despite her negative traits, she’s quite helpful when it comes to strategy. Their most successful jobs were because of her planning.
The others know she’s running from something. She trained and smart, she could just leave if she wanted to, but she won’t. She’s paranoid. They don’t know why. They want to ask but know she wouldn’t give a clear answer.
Yang Xiao Long
She’s always been a loose canon. She used to nag other kids on at school just so she could fight them. Summer tries to understand and talk to her. Yang can’t ever get herself to explain her actions. Especially when the reason for said actions is across the room.
Raven isn’t exactly Mom of The Year. Yang and her argue often. Because of the way Raven was raised, tough love is what she believes in.
Yang leaves home and becomes a criminal. She doesn’t even realize she’s following her mothers’ footsteps.
Jaune Arc
He’s in med school, just trying to make a living and get on with his life. Then he meets Ruby.
He gets involved in the group’s nonsense. Whenever someone is hurt, they call him to help. While grumbling “I could get arrested for this,” he patches up the girls and tells them to rest.
After Weiss, he’s Ruby’s best friend.
Nora Valkyrie
She’s an athlete in college, a social butterfly, and could kick your ass.
She also sits at the TV, watching an olympic athlete. She may or may not have developed a crush on this person she’s never met.
She was adopted by the Ren family when she was a toddler. She doesn’t know anything about her biological family, but she’s happy with her parents and brother.
Pyrrha Nikos
She is the olympic athlete Nora has a crush on.
She started out young and slowly became famous. Her neighbors growing up were the Arc family. She and Jaune became good friends. After they got older and went to pursue their passions, they’ve stopped talking as much, but they still talk whenever they can.
Lie Ren
The best friend and brother of Nora. He’s honestly so done with her shit, but he still loves her.
He’s in med school, working to be a nurse. He crosses paths with a certain blonde soon-to-be doctor. They grow closer and now Ren suddenly has this weird feeling in his stomach every time he thinks of Jaune.
Penny Polendina
Already made a post about her! (x)
Oscar Pine
Haven’t decided on much for him, but so far, I’m thinking he bumped into Qrow. Qrow was on an assignment for Oz. Oscar got so heavily involved that Qrow just had to bring him back to Ozpin. This is how he was introduced to the Ozluminati and RWBYJNPR.
He has a legitimate backstory, but I won’t be disclosing that just yet. :)
Ozpin
Also has a backstory I won’t be revealing right now! But I can share a few things about him; he’s a professor at Beacon college, it’s a cover. He’s heavily connected to STRQ and RWBY.
Glynda Goodwitch
She’s not a main character, but I think she’s worth mentioning. She’s the right hand woman of Ozpin. She is also a professor at Beacon.
Qrow Branwen
He’s the left hand man to Oz. He’s incredibly loyal to him and would do anything for him if asked to. He and Oz are in a relationship. Some would say becoming intimate like that would compromise their professional relationship, but it actually made them trust each other more. Maybe so much to the point that they’re weak without one another...
#rwby#modern criminal au#ruby rose#pyrrha nikos#oscar pine#Ozpin#glynda goodwitch#qrow branwen#valkos#martial arcs#cloqwork#ozqrow#au#fic idea#rwby addition
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Steddie Missed Connection AU
feat. Craigslist-trawling-wingwoman!Robin + earnest-LA-transplant!Steve + rockstar!Eddie ✨ inspired by this actual Craigslist love story
It’s always about a 50/50 shot when Robin starts making her little back-of-the-throat squealing noises. Up to a certain pitch, Steve could pretend he had his AirPods on noise cancellation mode.
Once she reached fire-alarm-screeching levels, it overrode the settings and boom: he lost his fall guy.
Thanks, Apple.
But that’s where they are, and the squealing plus the screen in her hands, plus the way her leg’s bouncing against the table they’re both sitting at—which would have overrrode Steve’s AirPod excuse in about a minute because she’s gonna start splashing his glass of orange juice in a hot second—but all of it lumped together?
He’s lucky he’s retained his athletic reflexes post-high school—maybe only because of being joined-at-the-hip with this particular platonic soulmate, really—because by the time she’s swinging her iPad from its case to plop right down in front of him?
At least he’s quick enough to save his overnight oats from becoming aluminum-flavored when she drops the goddamn thing down without warning—caseless, the heathen—and makes indecipherable noises Steve thinks he’s maybe only heard at the zoo as she taps her nail with an migraine-inducing click on the screen.
Steve…supposes this means he’s obligated to look.
He sighs, fully expecting a dumb meme or a ‘cute TikTok’ because he knows who he fucking lives with; he reaches across the table and unfolds his glasses—really, assaulting him with this before he can even get his contacts in…
And it’s a…webpage. Like: just a webpage. A boring webpage, even. Definitely not matching up with the…squealing and table-sized earthquake of bouncing knees. He squints, tries to make it make sense.
Oh. Wow. He didn’t…
Steve did not actually know Craigslist still existed, let alone that people still used it. He was pretty sure the things for sale were always just kidnapping plots with extra steps, and then also that finding a person you walked past that one time was an FYP problem to solve. But.
Here, in front of him, in black and white and honestly like no other color:
Steve squints; it was posted this morning, but only just. Like 4am. So the last afternoon for there to be a one o’clock hour was—
Yesterday.
His yesterday was uneventful. Went shopping with Robs. Filled up the freezer and overbought shit again so they had a kind of massive and wholly mismatched dinner with the leftovers nearly popping open the fridge door. Can’t take the Midwesterner out of the man or woman, apparently.
Definitely nothing like the day this poor soul on a maybe-less-dead-than-presumed website had had. But Steve won’t pretend his heart doesn’t clench a little when he finishes reading because…it’s cheesy.
But Steve’s always been into that romantic…stuff.
“That’s very sweet,” he lands on commenting before passing the tablet back to Robin, who’s staring at him with frankly terrifying eyes. Like: lost-your-fucking-mind eyes.
“Steven.”
“What?”
“Steven.”
“Robin.”
He won’t even pretend he doesn’t jump with the metal slams on the wood where Robin narrowly misses flipping his bowl of sadly-abandoned oats with her iPad again when she slaps it down in from of him and points frantically yet again.
“Look at the location.”
Steve tilts his head.
Oh. He’d just looked at the time. And it’s not like the location in the title was…unique on its own.
“Huh,” he huffs with a shrug when he sees their part of the city listed in the main link up top. “Coinkydink.”
Robin’s growl starts deep, like a diaphragmatic thrum and Steve would be terrified of her if she were anyone else.
As it is: he’s only mildly unsettled. Specifically because the growl rumbles so…long.
Like at least a minute before she screams bloody fucking murder:
“My hair was in the buns!”
And the way she screeches it, and the maniacal twitch of those eyes…she’s saying more than those words, with those words.
Which means Steve has to put in effort to follow her coded message style of communicating, fucking hell. He hasn’t even eaten his breakfast.
He tries to think it through, at least manages to down his glass of OJ so it can’t be a sacrifice to flying iPads when he thinks he…
“Wait.”
Steve frowns. Robin just blinks.
“You don’t,” he shakes his head, or starts to, it’s a slow motion thing; “you don’t like honestly think,” but even as he’s saying it, the look in her eyes starts to make sense, and answers for him:
“This is not about me.”
Because: seriously.
“We were laughing!” Robin is immediate with her rebuttal, still in her screeching era. “No one else was there!”
“Because we specifically time our shopping for when people are at lunch on a weekday,” Steve counters quick, tries to cut her off at the pass; “a statistically slow window of opportunity for us to debate the list!”
“We write the list to avoid debating,” Robin answers in a more sedate, be reasonable now, dingus tone before she shakes her head and scowls and:
“Stop distracting me!”
Yep, back to the screeching.
“Why were you even on that fucking site?” Steve sighs as he crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.
“Steven,” Robin says again in that fucking tone that always means he’s missing the biggest, far-more-important point but does jack shit to help him find it.
“Robina.”
“Not my name, eww.”
“Well, now you know how I feel when you make up a middle name for me,” Steve sticks his tongue out very maturely to her scrunched up face: “they’re never even nice ones,” he adds, because they’re really not; “and I do know that was your next move so,” he smacks his hands opposite the screen on the table in front of him in victory as he crows:
“Denied.”
“This isn’t basketball,” Robin’s working her tongue around her lips inside her mouth, which is always deadly foreshadowing; “you didn’t block my shot or whatever—“
“Didn’t I?” Steve pushes because, well, one, he did, and two, the original conversation was absurd even for them.
“Maybe it was so empty because his security was there.”
Steve frowns. The tone’s too…even. No. No: too haughty.
“The fuck does that mean?”
“I said he looked like a rockstar,” she leans to grab back her tablet and poke near the top, obviously switching browser tabs: “so I did some digging.”
“Robin, what city do we live in?” Steve asks as she works, because yes, Steve remembers seeing a very hot fucking dude staring less in their direction than looking dumbstruck-lost as hell, and he’d considered walking over to ask if he needed help—Midwestern transplant to the bone—which was accompanied by the stray I’d fuck that gorgeous toothpick silly, but in the paper product aisle, like on the 48-count pack of Charmin, he looks soft under all that leather—then both thoughts were swiftly abandoned when the toothpick’s eyes met Steve’s and Steve maybe had to force himself to finish laughing at a joke he can’t remember now, that Robin told, because his skin felt like it was burning a little except the sun had poked behind a cloud, and his throat, it had like, it had just, it—
It just felt…weird.
He does remember that.
“But we don’t see rockstars every day,” which is fair, their neighborhood in particular is less music biz than others.
“Plus, look at this!”
Then she’s shoving the iPad back in front of Steve: it’s a TMZ shot or some other pap photo that’s more than half blur. It is indeed the parking lot at their Costco. And it does…feature a toothpick-esque figure looking similar to the one Steve remembers, but it’s more from the back than the side. And like, anyone can wear that much black in the summer. It’s a free country.
“And look at him!”
She split-screens to a Wikipedia article about a band even Steve’s heard of, if not for listening to them himself. It…he glances at the paparazzi shot.
Lead guitarist of Corroded Coffin Sighted Getting Groceries Just Like Normal People in Mar—
And then he looks back to the wiki: okay. Same band name. The guy with the guitar in the photo looks…
He has the same hair.
“Don’t tell me it’s just coincidence.”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“It is just coincidence.”
“Steve.”
Steve feels his face sour.
“I know that tone,” because he does. It never leads to things he enjoys.
“You’ve thought about him.”
“He was gorgeous,” Steve thinks he surprises her with his honesty but like, what does he have to gain by lying? Plus:
“LA’s is like the plastic surgery capital of the fucking world, it’d be kinda sad if a lot of people generally weren’t pretty.”
“He wasn’t that kind of pretty.”
And fuck if they don’t share a brain cell; fuck if she doesn’t see right through him.
“And that’s not why you’ve been thinking about him.”
And fuck if she doesn’t know Steve, far too well.
“I never once said I’d been thinking about,” he hears the words and knows they’re weak, goddamnit.
“You never had to,” Robin smiles a little and taps an annoying finger at the screen again, that’a somehow flipped right back to the Craigslist ad thingy.
And she’s actually not entirely right, because he hadn’t thought much about the gorgeous toothpick man with curls Steve wanted to be smothered by, suffocate in like a pillow. But when he did?
He’d thought most about how he looked soft, on the inside. Thought wild and idiotic things like maybe his soft could match Steve’s soft when no one else’s ever had and he was always left bruised for it, more than once near-unhealable, and maybe they could, like, if their softnesses matched, then like—
Something.
But Steve always comes on too strong, wants too much, hopes to hard and way too fast, though this shit might take the cake, there: so it was idiotic and he’d left that train of thought to derail on its own and—
Did that come on too strong?
His gaze snags on the words, those exact words up on the screen and he’s very tempted to start growling deep in the pit of his stomach, take a cue from Robin’s absurdity.
“Don’t you have a class to get to?” Steve asks, looking pointedly at the clock on the microwave: he knows she does. Pottery making. For self-edification.
She scowls but looks—swears colorfully because it’s later than she thought as she jumps up and goes to presumably…do whatever she does in the bathroom to get ready to leave and look her lesbian-luring best before she gets smattered in wet clay.
Steve remains unclear on whether that look’s more or less attractive to the specific ladies she’s trying to bait.
Either way: it prompts Robin to drop her one-woman campaign insisting Steve’s soulmate of the romantic flavor is calling our desperately into the void of the internet. But it also, however, has the…side-effect of making the time itself an obvious thing. 11:09.
Rob’s gonna take the car, she’s got…supplies and stuff.
Why that’s important is…lost on him.
He could debase himself and brave the bus, if he got off at Washington and—
What the fuck.
What. The. Fuck.
Steve very forcefully shoves Robin’s iPad back across the table and doesn’t think about anything, especially not the numbers, like the number 214, like two hours and fourteen minutes until—
Steve nearly chokes himself on his fucking spoon with how violently he shoves it, full of oats, between his lips. As if he can shut his brain up as easy as he can his mouth.
It…actually kinda works. He might have chipped a tooth.
——————
In the end, Steve is proud of himself for being reasonable and having standards. He doesn’t take a fucking bus to meet a stranger in a Costco parking lot, Jesus Christ. Come on.
He books an Uber.
(And yes, he and Robin agreed no solo Ubers for a month to save up to have the air conditioner looked at before it copped out on them because their landlord only gave a shit if it was dead-dead and yes, maybe she’d gone so far as to put their account on a hold you had to call and remove to avoid temptation—though of the two of them, she definitely had the bigger problem—but little did she think on the fact that while you had to link a phone number, you could just use Google Voice and make a new account and no, Steve’s not insane, or a hopeless romantic, or almost-asking-for-heartbreak-on-the-regular, thank you very much.
He is resourceful. And it’s only like $15 with tip. It’s a quick ride.)
He asks to be dropped near the back of the lot, and takes the walk up slow. Almost goes the long way, straight into the store. Almost turns back entirely.
But then he sees those curls.
And his throat does the…the weird tight thing for no fucking reason, and his feet don’t ask permission to walk in the direction of the man standing…less dumbstruck, now. Even from the back it’s clear.
Now: he’s waiting.
Steve can barely breathe, can’t fucking swallow for the state of his throat, but his feet still aren’t waiting for permission, so it’s only fucking seconds before he’s close enough to catch a whiff of cologne and then—
“Sorry,” Steve ducks around the man from behind and reaches out automatically to steady him when he startles. “Hey, sorry, you just looked like maybe you were looking for something?” Steve smiles as open, as reassuring as he knows. “Just wanted to check if you needed any help.”
Keep it casual, Steve, keep it fucking friendly and extra polite and—
“Oh my god.”
The guy barely breathes it out, his eyes so wide, and Steve doesn’t know why he hasn’t moved his hand from the guy’s arm but Steve can feel the electric current that runs through him, like the finest grade of trembling. And electricity, right, it travels. Conducts.
In case you felt your heart skip just one beat, didn’t even have to full-on stop—
And even that proximity to this man is nothing compared to hearing his voice, low and a little syrupy even as he stares in shock, in disbelief—and oh. Oh, but what was it the guy had written in his post? About feeling the earth move a little, or like, rewiring your cells just for meeting eyes?
Steve, he’s…
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
“You’re here.”
Steve blinks, rocked back to the moment to deal with the new tilt of the globe and the spontaneous realignment of his insides later. This guy’s looking at Steve like he’s unbelievable, like he’s miraculous, like he’s…
Sunshine.
“I’m here?” Steve asks, a little breathy, a little curious.
“I,” the guy swallows, lips shiny as he bites at them, fucking adorable; “I saw you, umm, yesterday and I maybe, well, possibly I wrote some,” he fumbles and sounds like he’s building up to eventual hysterics, so Steve acts wholly on instinct and reaches further now to catch at both his hands.
“Relax,” Steve breathes out with a smile, and doesn’t overthink smoothing his thumbs over the guy’s knuckles, just in case it soothes him.
“My friend,” Steve lets go with one hand and grabs his phone to show the page he’d loaded on the ride here; “she was convinced it was you, about me. I wasn’t, so,” he shakes his head quick when something falls in the guy’s face, something dims: oh, umm, no.
He cannot have that.
“Not trying to catch you out or something,” Steve exhales it warm, as reassuring as he can, with his whole chest as he grabs the guy’s hands in both his own again—since he seemed to not mind; “just,” and Steve shrugs even as he smiles a little, less self-deprecating with it than he’d probably have landed on if the guy hadn’t reacted to Steve’s hands on his by clinging back so tight:
“Just a little hard to believe, is all.”
The man barely lets the words settle before his jaw drops almost comically and he demands, high-pitched and somehow still rumbling, something commanding in it nonetheless:
“How?”
Like it’s unimaginable. Like Steve reading that post and walking into this lot and striding up to a perfect stranger—who may or may not be very famous but that’s actually not even a little bit of the point—but a stranger who would want to see him—
But then Steve’s meeting the guy’s eyes again; hadn’t wholly realized he’d been staring at their hands more than anything. Those eyes are like the night sky, swirling and endless and sparking in the right slant of light, and Steve feels them like a welcome, like a cushion of the stars, like a safe landing in a chaotic universe.
He doesn’t even know this man.
But he thinks…yesterday. Yesterday, his heart didn’t stop, not like this guy had written, but Steve understands now what it did do instead, the thing he did remember, the tightness in his throat: his heart didn’t stop.
It just surged upward and took up residence to pound at his trachea where it tripped instead. Which is kinda where he’s back to right now.
“Could I,” the guy’s voice is rough, shaky, and so is he, Steve feels it where he’s still got his hand gripped firm; “would it be too much to ask if I could hug you?”
And he huffs a breath, and it sounds too….too small, like he’s afraid or ashamed and it pings something hateful, but so much more protective in Steve’s blood just to hear it as he confesses on a end of an exhale:
“I just want to know if you’re real.”
And Steve didn’t grow up a hugger, but he sure as shit’s grown into one; he’d be one of those people standing in the city with a ‘Free Hugs’ sign without much convincing. But this guy.
This man in front of him who may or may not be famous, is definitely a stranger either way save that he poured out some lines on the internet that maybe exceeded the term ‘heartfelt’ by a mile, who may or may not be standing in here, inside this moment, for something like fate because…Steve did feel it.
Maybe he didn’t think twice about the immensity it could have, not in the moment, because he’d been shopping, and Robin’s story was funny and maybe he was just struck by his luck in living a life with his platonic soulmate and knowing joy; surely your heart can trip for that and just because it never had before, just because it did this one first time when he crossed eyes with a genuinely beautiful man who left Steve with half-a-second’s certainty that looking any longer would flay wide this unknown person’s soul for Steve to sift through: but Steve felt things like that easy, always had. Romanticized nothings like it was a profession.
But it never hit like this had, has—is—before, if indeed this is actually anything—
And Steve’s heart is still tripping but it’s back in his chest, and he knows it because where he’s pressed against this guy’s kinda-gasping chest, now, close and tight? Maybe Steve’s never paid attention before, or maybe Steve’s just never…touched like this before, even if all they’re doing is hugging in a fucking parking lot.
But.
He’s pressed there and his heart’s tripping in his chest and he knows it wholly and fully because he can feel this man’s heartbeat next to his own—and where it should be a battle, because it’s pounding, both of them are, one side literally against the other?
It feels like a caress. It feels like, like…
Steve closes his eyes tight because they start to sting with the single word it feels like: impossible, absurd, but…
Here he is. He’s never felt someone’s heartbeat pressed up against his own before. Definitely never felt—never dreamt—that it could feel like it fits.
He leans back when he thinks he’s got a hold on the hopelessness of his tender-hearted absurdity, but the guy is staring at him already when he does and suddenly Steve’s got a handle on absolutely nothing except his pulse jackrabbiting some more but then also feeling…like it lost something. Like it’s not complete.
And the man, he’s staring with those eyes so wide again but now it’s like he’s…it’s kinda like he knows. He knows his eyes are going to let Steve flay him wide open.
It’s like he’s begging Steve to…look. To look and less to take, and more to…have.
Maybe, maybe to keep?
And…how?
“Do you feel it?” the guy whispers, those deep dark eyes so big: just these vulnerable, bleeding hearts on main. “Even just—“ he tries to walk back, to open it all up wider, desperate and hopeful and Steve hears all of it because it’s all written in the same key as all that Steve knows, all that Steve is. Somehow.
Somehow.
So Steve blinks, too many times before he grabs the man harder and drags him in again to hold, hold, hold until the heartbeat on either side of Steve’s ribs is reaching for the other, touching. Until they’re holding on, too, and once they do, then he can whisper, warm and maybe wet in the crook of this man’s neck, this stranger who’s holding onto his heart now, unfathomable, as he speaks words he doesn’t have to think about first to know they’re going to shift the world again, this time so they both can know it in the souls of them together, all at once:
“I feel it.”
For @hbyrde36, who requested 'Missed Connection AU' at my HOBBIT-STYLE BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST
✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @nerdyglassescheeseychick @swimmingbirdrunningrock @goodolefashionedloverboi @sanctumdemunson @theheadlessphilosopher @lawrencebshoggoth
divider credits here and here
💫 ao3 link here
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#fluff#romance#missed connection AU#modern AU#love at first sight#rockstar!eddie munson#(but it's 100% secondary to:)#eddie immediate-heart-eyes munson#steve the perpetual romantic harrington#maybe this is the time he doesn't get burned for it either#(bah that's hilarious—MAYBE—as if there's a chance that it's NOT)#criminally soft#schmoop#slightly-crazed-wingwomen!robin#endearing platonic soulmate bickering#platonic stobin#stranger things#gift fic#hbyrde36#hitlikehammers' hobbit-birthday prompt fest#hitlikehammers v words#hitlikehammers writes
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In the bau gc:
Penelope: SHARKS DON'T HAVE BONES??
Y/n: No, they have cartilage skeletons.
Emily: "I'm gonna send this to the gc watch y/n be like "oh you didn't know that already?"- Pen
Penelope: not in a bad way! I just knew you'd know.
#starchildz incorrect quotes#watch me info dump about sharks#ugh i love animals#criminal minds#im mentally unwell#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#penelope garcia#emily prentiss#this was originally gonna be morgan and gacia but emily made more sense#group chat#modern au ig#idk what to tag this one as
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Imagine Halbrand posing as your bodyguard while planning to kill you...
Imagine Halbrand posing as your bodyguard while planning to kill you...
He planned to take back what was stolen from him but your predecessor died before he could get his revenge. So he went on to getting close to you in order to see your empire crumble...
The problem is, he got too close...
#AU#alternate universe#modern au#criminal emperors au#random imagine#enemies to lovers#brat!reader#halbrand#halbrand x reader#sauron x reader#sauron#sauron imagine#halbrand imagine#adar related reader? 🤔#my stuff#my fics
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Holy Hell! Don’t leave us on a cliffhanger please?!
How did the 141 boys react when they got the call that she had been shot? How did they catch the guy who did it? And what are they going to do to him? 😈
continued from here
disclaimer: because they are what they are (highly trained assassins 🫣), heavy mentions of stabbings and beatings, proceed with caution lmfao ‼️ rushed/ooc
"we can go all night, when you give out from exhaustion and pain. when you're begging us to kill you, when you're cryin to end your life, we're gonna be here" pulling off the bag from his face, ghost examined his features. the man winced and grimaced, gasping a little as the light flooded his vision and finally looking at his captor. standing tall at 6'4, bigger than most men ghost was certainly not someone to be trifled with. his brown eyes hardened behind his skull balaclava, twirled a knife expertly between his fingers
ghost had no sympathy for the person in front of him, he had been hunting you down for days and very nearly coming close in succeeding in his given task. all he could remember is what soap had said,"one centimeter over and it would've torn right through her heart" and it only served to further anger him when he knew you didn't have any bad intentions at all, you weren't there to hurt anyone. you only thought it was an innocent date and you have paid the price for it at a grave cost. the thought of losing you tonight only fuelled his anger, his jaw clenched tightly as his eyes remained on the man
rules were rules, threatening the 141 was punishable by death. and simon had never been so glad for it
"listen i'm sorry man, i didn't know" the man tried to justify to which ghost scoffed, cold brown eyes glancing at the sharp array of weapons on the table opposite.
"choose a better excuse, that one is overused" his chest vibrates with dark chuckles and it causes the tension in the air to suffocate, this wasn't an amused laugh. this had brought on fear and pain and ghost hadn't even inflicted anything yet. still the man's determined attitude hadn't wavered, much to simon's displeasure.
"fuck you" the man hissed and then cried out in pain when a whip slapped his abdomen, undoubtedly leaving a trail of blood in its wake. his head was yanked back as ghost grabbed a fistful of hair, his face in close proximity of the other
"listen close you bastard, i've dealt with my fair share of bloody narcissists. but you hurt y/n, you shot her. so take your bloody time i'll get what i want from you, one way or another" ghost snarled, the tip of his sharpened knife trailing down her neck circling around the man's abdomen. he screamed when the knife was twisted into the first layer of skin, gaping down to where the blood was beginning to pool on his lap.
"now all you gotta do is give me a name. and this stops right here. but if not..." ghost pushed the knife a little more deeper into the body, grinning under his mask when the man whimpered trying so hard to not scream. to try keep his composture not wanting to bring any satisfaction to the enemy
but hell, it was hanging by a small thread at this point.
"any progress?" a deeper, gravelly voice cuts in and both heads look towards the door. the man lets a small gasp as the rest of the team pile into the room. it was as if they commanded respect, demanded to be listened to. their muscles straining against their shirt, scars littering their bodies proof of the business they were, of the lives they led
"he's stubborn" ghost stops, wiping the few drops of blood from his mask. he was getting rather irritated, wanting to be at the hospital with you but forced to take care of this problem.
"he's looking worse for the wear" soap chuckled but there was no humour in his voice. all he could think about was how fragile you looked after being shot and it made him want to tear into the man but gaz and ghost would hold him back, they already were eyeing him carefully. still it was rather amusing how many people tried to kill them and yet they always seemed to be on the receiving end of the blade.
"why not kill 'im, the poor bastard" soap scoffed with sarcasm, looking at the man with pure anger, his fists clenching as he sized the man up. desperately wanting to be the one to plunge the knife so deep into his heart and watch the life fade away from his eyes. just as he had done with you
"as convenient as that sounds, we'll never end up getting our information if he's dead" gaz leans back on the table, looking at the purple and blue blotches on the man's skin. the way his hair was matted down with blood and sweat, how he looked on the verge of passing out at any given moment. they'd bring him back alive though, none of their enemies ever did have a quick painless death here. ghost had a knack for making his prisoners suffer until they physically and mentally couldn't take anymore, testing each and every brutal limit in their weak bodies. it was only a matter of time until he spilled the dark secret.
but time was not on their side.
"y-you bastards, go to hell" his voice fluctuated angrily as he tried to keep his heartbeat normal, to keep those nerves at bay. to remember his training as a soldier but these men were different, for every step he took they already knew about. he was at their mercy this time.
placing a hand deep within his pocket, the captain of the team entered the room a pensive look painted upon his features. he shifted his bucket hat, looking down at their little victim tied up to the chair as his head tilted a little.
"we're all tired from your little reign of heroism, thinking you're doing well by serving your country and your organisation. for now, you'd do well to remember we're the ones who determine whether you walk out of this building alive. i suggest you start by giving us some answers. you see, myself..." price grabbed the knife from ghost's hand in a quick flash and plunged it straight into the muscle of the man's thigh, completely unfazed at his screams and the splatter of blood coating his cargos
"well, i am not a particularly patient man"
#asks#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#141 x reader#task force 141#criminal minds au
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warmup. For the masses
#alva lorenz#we are so back#IM ON BREAK FOR MARCHING#HA#idv#identity v#art#fanart#idv fanart#idv hermit#idv alva#not THEEE best but yk#its a warmup#would u kiss him#i would#you qre beautiful old man#:3$#“he needs to mew”#-both my sibling and my friend#its ok alva your jawline is fine....#maybe a alvaseph crumb later....#also i was thinkiny of a modern au tracy design#IT IS CRIMINAL THQT SHE DOESNR HAVE OFFICIAL ART IN MODERN CLOTHES YET#Atleast as far as i have dug for#hashyag modernize my girl#mannne i got rid of his eyebags a little on accident. whatever#I WILL. do right by him later
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Irredeemable Bastards
Very excited to finally be able to post (one) of my pieces from the OFMD RBB with the lovely @thetardigrape
The chapter with art has finally been released so if you haven’t already check it out you should it is absolutely delicious sprizzy content and tardi is an amazing writer!
#izzy hands#lucius spriggs#ofmd fanart#art#ofmd#illustration#izzyhandsfanart#sprizzy#my art#another week another modern au another style#expect this time the au was created by tardi and hoooooooooooooooly this is the criminal AU you need I promise you#it has all the best tropes#fake dating#pining#enimies to lovers#Lucius gets to be a messy bitch a soft boy and a pickpocket#Izzy gets to be jealous and soft and sad
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Lemon drop 🍋
#fanart#mashle#art#artists on tumblr#lemon irvine#my art#doodle#modern au#bookstore owner Lemon my love….#I was watching criminal minds while drawing this one#sorry for the shortage of landot
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spencer x reader except it's a modern family au where Spencer is Phil and reader is Claire
Spencer as the goofy, fun loving, laid back dad and reader as the snarky, perfectionist mom who has to be on top of everything cause no one else is
such a contrast to how Spencer normally is I know but I NEED HIM TO BE HAPPY AND TRAUMA FREE FOR ONCE and I can't stop thinking of the scene where Phil tries to comfort Claire and she goes "I'm going to kill you"
#rossi and hotch as jay and gloria#emily and jj as mitch and cam#derek is... i'll think about that one#penelope too#spencer x reader#spencer x female reader#spencer reid#spencer reid au#spencer reid x reader#modern family#criminal minds au
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she's my little war criminal🥰
#yelena aot#yelena snk#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#i kinda hc that yelena is just her alias in mafia/criminal/modern au#sometimes i draw her eyes dark green for funsies💚(she has dark/black eyes according to wiki)
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they’re at some evening party festival whatever
please don’t tag as ship
#nem art#fanart#bleach#i reread summer fall the longest winter and spring by reddening_heart it's so fun. it's criminal how there's not more modern aus#jushiro ukitake#shunsui kyoraku#digital art#artists on tumblr#small artist#drawing#clip studio paint#rkgk#hmm i might go and draw full designs of their fits cause they're cool in my head
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Time’s child dressed for Halloween, their costume is makeshift ‘golden’ armour with red and blue paint covering parts of their face. Time, confused at their costume consider they said it was a ‘superhero’: “Okay, I give up. Who’re you supposed to be?” Time’s child, eyes bright and grinning from ear to ear: “I’m you daddy!” The older man can’t help the smile the pushes it ways onto his face, his chest fills with pride and joy at his child’s words. He’s gonna do everything for this kid...
#linked universe#linked universe time#lu time#modern au#kinda? i guess?#dad! time#inspired by a criminal minds scene#look i love this man#linked universe incorrect quotes
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Can't stop thinking about Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson and here I am thinking that Paulie would somehow memories the whole dance and will do it randomly Infront of Sam just to piss him off
#Lets say like this is a modern au of the trio#Can you imagine like Sam and Tommy is talking to eachother#Then Paulie somewhere near Tom starts to dance a little#Sam tries his best not to cackle and puts his annoyed expression#While Tom noticed it and got confused#looked behind him and there's Paulie doin the dance#mafia definitive edition#sam trapani#paulie lombardo#tommy angelo#random thoughts#Michael Jackson#smooth criminal
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Hyper feminine reader working for Kortag and 141 is so funny to me, because there is this AI cover video of Ghost and König singing: Somebody that I used to know. And I can see in my minds eye them getting drunk and doing that when reader starts to give too much attention to a third party.
so sweet :") <33
drunk ghost and könig going absolutely feral and incredibly whiny when you're speaking to someone else on the team, neither man unable to help themselves as they glare/pout from the sidelines. "c'mere lovie, miss you so bad" "liebling you're too far. come to my arms i'll warm you up" "shut your trap, i'm speaking" ":("
drunk ghost and könig absolutely staring down anyone that thinks they have a chance with you at the party their huge looming forms able to intimidate any potential suitors
drunk ghost and könig obsessed with your pretty dress and them fidgeting with your jewellery, trying so bad to scent you with their musk and their smell while fighting off the other
drunk ghost and könig beefing with each other loudly when one of them brings up how you work better with their team (könig) and the other getting incredibly dominant about it (ghost)
drunk ghost and könig who sing your praises, boasting about your analytical skills and how your intelligence have saved them so many times.
drunk ghost and könig battling between each other to fight over your affections, threatening to pull a grenade on one another: "you better back the fuck up" "i don't listen to short men" "oH-"
#asks#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#cod mwii#simon riley x reader#könig#könig mw2#criminal minds au
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HOLLY IM ALWAYS HERE!! I’m not always sure what to say but I can assure u!! I lobe Ur Little rants and blurbs about how ur OBESSED with ur SHOTO fic or Childe
How have u been! What have u been up to :0
i know haha you were not part of who i meant when i said “most people” :]
i can assure you, if you encourage me to post every last thought that gets into my brain on here, you will be hearing about more than just my current drafts or my absolute love, adoration and devotion to childe (who has taken over my mind, at this point he needs to become real or i shall never enjoy a sane life again jsjsh)
as for what i’m doing, i’m trying to get my life together, i got the grade for my thesis back this week so that’s one worry less i guess (there are still enough left, i can say that much)
#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡#┊✩彡 unsigned letter ♡#‘you have bewitched me body and soul’ but it’s a fictional criminal#(fitting since i’m playing ikevil atm lol)#atp i just assume 90% of my asks are from you#most loyal person even though i’m not posting what you’re here for (modern scara lol)#i feel really bad about that btw#i wanted to maybe get a drabble going lately bc i feel like i owe the modern au enjoyers#but i opened my modern au draft and got immediately hit by exhaustion lol#i need to bring childe and scara back#and introduce [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] and [redacted]#i guess i had plans for [redacted] and [redacted] and a perhaps so many more too hshshsh#ugh look at me spoiling my fictional universe like that jshshsh
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