#modern!izzy

[space--hobbit]

yeah whoops apparently I'm writing fic now?

“You know what the worst part about training is? The fockin’ clients. Oooooh, yes, Mr Hands, I’ll definitely dedicate myself to just twenty fockin’ minutes per day on working out my dog’s leash reactivity! Then twats come back two weeks later and bitch at me about how I’m not fixing their dog, wasting their money, when they haven’t done any of the fockin’ WORK!”

Izzy finishes the sentence at a roar, throwing the receiver of his landline phone across the office.

Norman, his scruffy staghound, rises from his bed and places his front paws on Izzy’s shoulders, pressing his whole, solid body into Izzy’s torso and thighs, gently nudging the cross tattoo high on Izzy’s cheekbone with his wet nose.

Izzy sighs deeply and presses his forehead into Norman’s fuzzy shoulder.

“Cheers, mate. Good boy, good pressure. Alright, I’m okay now. Shh. Norm, release.”

Norman presses one last boop to Izzy’s face and flops down from his position to rest his big head across Izzy’s thighs, and sighs dramatically, as one tattooed hand reaches down to gently scratch behind his rose-shape ears.

From its position face down on the floor next to the filing cabinet, the phone begins to ring again.

-----

shoutout to @snapsandgrowls on twt for dropping a plot bunny that is just going to let me complain about work for several thousand words

[ltwilliammowett]

Izzy the late ship's cat of SS Great Britain

[mistydeyes]

a surprise house guest

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summary: The last thing Gaz expected to see in your shared flat was a baby in your arms and a mess in the kitchen, what have you gotten yourself into?

pairing: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x fem!roommate!reader

warnings: swearing

a/n: hehe gaz roommate babysitting fluff! sidenote i've been babysitting and ngl kids are lil cuties like ahh

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Gaz's relaxed and warm morning in his mountain of blankets was soon interrupted by the loud clanging around in your shared kitchen. He groaned as he tousled his messy hair and tried to look for his phone. "Jesus, 7 am, really Y/N?" he muttered as the bright screen of his phone lit up the room. He wondered what trouble you had gotten into while he was away.

You had been his roommate for about a year now but it felt even shorter due to him consistently being called away on duty and your busy work schedule. You were friendly, sure, and on occasion a bit flirtatious but at the end of the day, you were just another facet of his life. You were just someone to collect the mail, take care of the dust, and occasionally make sure his room wasn't crawling with bugs. You had somehow managed to accomplish such while doing it so attractively. Wait what was he saying, you were his roommate after all. Just a young professional needing a place and not caring about his infrequent stays. But on the other hand, you were his age and he always had suspected you might fancy him when you joked about sharing a one-bedroom apartment for "the benefits." His thoughts were interrupted by a loud "FUCK" and crashing emanating from the hallway. He hurriedly ripped off the sheets and ran down the hall to assess what was going on.

The last thing he expected was to see you, baby bottle in hand, and a baby on your hip. "Jesus!" you jumped as he emerged into the kitchen, "when the hell did you get home?" He relaxed, seeing that the kitchen wasn't on fire and you weren't fighting some early morning burglar. "Last night," he replied before returning to looking at the baby. He looked at it as if it was an alien, "was I really gone that long?" he asked almost afraid to hear the response. It took you a minute to process his question but you quickly covered your mouth to stifle a laugh. "Oh my god, no, no, he isn't mine," you said through laughs that made your sides hurt. "my kid sister dropped him off this morning. I agreed to help out and look after him for the day." With that, the baby cooed and tried to reach to hold your hand as you relented and looked back at Gaz. "I would have definitely cleared this with you, but I didn't expect you back so early," you sighed as you tried to calm the small bundle trying to put your fingers in his mouth. You took a brief look around the kitchen and noticed how much of a mess you had caused trying to prepare some milk, "I promise I'll clean up once I've set him down."

"No worries," he replied as he made his way into the kitchen to make some coffee, "I was gonna say you look a little too good to have just given birth." You felt your face flush and before you could reply or even give him an introduction to your nephew, the bottle of formula was knocked out of your hands. "Oh for the love of God," you swore as you realized your tank top and pajama shorts were now stained with milk. Gaz couldn't help but laugh as he looked at you in such a state, it was clear you hadn't had time to get ready for the day as he took a good look at you. "Not funny, little man," you chided the baby before you looked at Gaz with a smirk. Before he could protest, you guided the baby into his arms and ran to your bedroom to get changed.

"Bloody hell, Y/N," he yelled after you, "what am I supposed to do?" "It's a baby, Kyle, I think you can handle it," you said through your partially opened door. He heard a few more clangs as you struggled to find something not soaked in milk. He looked back down to the bundle in his arms, "What's your name, little one?" He heard you laugh as you continued to rummage around. "Kyle for fucksake he's an infant, he can't talk," you shouted, "his name is Ben if you were wondering." Ben cooed at the sound of your voice and squirmed in Gaz's arms. "It's okay buddy, she'll be back in a moment," he tried to reassure him as he rocked his arms back and forth. The baby grew more impatient and began to let out a song of high-pitched cries. You emerged from the room, now in a different pair of shorts and a shirt. Without a second look, you rushed into the kitchen and began to clean up. "Take him to the living room," you said, exasperated, as Ben continued to wail. "You owe me one," Gaz called out and you could hear him trying to appease the now crying baby. You shook your head before going about tackling the mess in the kitchen. Once you finally finished and dried your hands on the hand towel, it was quiet except for some babbles from Ben.

"What do we have here?" you said as you walked up to the pair settled on the couch. Both turned to you, smiling like a pair of twins. You had to say Gaz looked rather handsome as the light streamed in from the window in your flat. An unshaven 5 o'clock shadow complimented his face nicely. "I got it handled," he said cockily as you sat on the couch next to him. "Sure you do," you replied and mocked his tone, your legs brushing against his as sat. You soon realized that the reason Ben had stopped crying was that he was now occupied by a small sealed bag of crisps. He was shaking it around proudly and slobbering all over the plastic. You turned your head to look at Gaz with a deadpan expression. "What?" he said defensively, "he likes it!" You let out a laugh as you crumbled back onto the couch and watched as Gaz held the baby on his lap. You couldn't deny, that once he got Ben to stop crying, he was a natural at this. You secretly envied the future, Mrs. Garrick. However, with Gaz's protective arm around the baby and you smiling right next to him, you looked like the perfect couple with a newborn. The moment quickly passed as you looked down at your hand. "Oh I have his bottle," you said and motioned for Gaz to pass you the baby. "Come here, love," you cooed and slowly rocked him in your arms. You set your feet on top of Gaz's lap and sang a soft little lullaby to calm the infant.

After watching the baby drink the formula at record speed, he was finally asleep in your arms. "Finally," you groaned as you watched his little eyelids flutter. You leaned back in the crook of the couch, making sure he was fast asleep before you looked back at Gaz. He had a sense of wonder and awe in his eyes as he looked up at you. You slowly moved Ben into the small lounger cushion your sister had brought and stretched out of exhaustion. "Thanks again," you whispered as you motioned for Gaz to follow you back to the kitchen, "I really appreciate it." He nodded in response and leaned against the counter, closing his eyes in a moment of peace. You stood next to him and placed your head against his arm. You could feel him slightly react to your action but soon relax as he looked down at you. To both of you, it felt oddly comfortable to be like this. "Welcome home, by the way," you said, finally acknowledging his return "Sorry about this whole mess." He smiled as you met eyes and then let out a low chuckle. "It's alright, I got caught up in watching you play Mummy today," he joked, slightly tussling your hair with his free hand. You blushed briefly at the compliment but you soon found yourself wrestling his arm to stop. You ended up placing it securely around your shoulders and held it in place to prevent any further assault.

"I'm serious," Gaz defended as he relaxed his confined arm, "you look like a natural with him. You looked up at him and decided to test the waters, just a tiny bit. "Oh really now?" you challenged, "something about this situation gives you baby fever?" Now Gaz was the one with a subtle blush on his cheeks as you smirked at his reaction. "Let's go on a date then, love, and find out," he blurted, seemingly without any hesitation. You tensed a bit as you processed what he was saying. "You asking me out now, Garrick?" you questioned, turning your body to look at him. "Maybe I am," he whispered, moving a piece of hair out of your face and moving his hand to cup your face. As time moved slowly, you stood on your tippy toes and moved closer to his lips. Just as the space was about to close, a shrieking cry filled the apartment. "I think he wants Daddy," you teased as you tried to hide your disappointment, "we'll talk about this after dinner?" As Kyle huffed away, you couldn't help but secretly thank your sister for the emergency nanny service.

[duffslut]

On the tour bus

Slash x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 745

Warnings: Smut! Drug use, Minors Dni.

The bus was passing through some deserted place, the view from the window was already boring for you and you were almost regretting having begged your brother Izzy to go on his band's tour with him, Steven slept with a magazine on his face blocking the sun, Your brother Izzy was writing something on a piece of paper, Duff and Axl were rolling a joint while talking to each other and Slash was drawing on the bus window with a marker, tapping his feet on the floor with his cowboy boots. You had been on the road for hours, and you just couldn't stand not having anything to do anymore.

You stood up and walked to the back of the bus where everyone's bags were, including your brother's, which you knew must have something interesting in there. Once you found the small transparent package, you walked back down the aisle of the bus, stopping at the seat where Slash was sitting.

- Wanna get high? - You asked him, shaking the small plastic bag of coke.

Slash's eyes widened and you smiled watching him look from side to side before pulling you onto the seat next to him.

- Where did you get that? - He asked, a little afraid to approach you since Izzy was only a few feet away.

- It doesn't matter. - You said, opening the bag but Slash took it from you before you could take anything.

- You're nuts! - Slash said almost in a whisper. - Go to the bathroom and I'll come right after.

You rolled your eyes but obeyed, you and Slash locked in the bus bathroom alone? That was a great idea.

You went into the bathroom and left the door ajar without locking it. While you waited, you fixed your hair and touched up your lipstick, looking at yourself in the mirror. As soon as Slash got close to the door you pulled him into the tiny bathroom and closed the door.

- Pray Izzy doesn't find out we're doing this. - He said, about to pour some of the coke over the sink, but you took the bag from his hand and made a line right above your tits instead.

- What are you waiting for? - You asked.

Slash's confused expression turned into a small smile and he carefully lowered the straps of your top, pulling it down below your waist, exposing your breasts, his nose touched your skin and he snorted the coke out of you, slowly lifting his head and whispering in your ear:

- You're a crazy little bitch.. - He said and then you pulled his body throwing him against the door.

- My turn. - You lifted his shirt, his low pants showed some of his pubic hair which turned you on a little.

You formed the thin line of white powder over his abdomen and snorted it all at once, licking his skin after finishing.

- Are you that bored? - Slash grabbed your hair and pulled your face close to his. - Do you want me to fuck you with your brother out here?

You smiled, waving, closing your eyes and leaning in to kiss him.

- I do. - You said before kissing his soft lips and his tongue invaded your mouth.

Slash promptly opened your denim shorts and touched your wet panties without taking his lips off yours, you felt your head spin a little but his firm hand on your head gave you the security that you needed. You opened his pants and grabbed his hard cock. You were already high and didn't even care if you made noise or not, Slash moved your body and now you were leaning against the bathroom door, with your ass leaning towards him, you heard him snort another line of coke before resting his head on your shoulder and brushing his cock over your wet and needy pussy, you couldn't hold back a moan when he entered you, sliding his big dick into your pussy and starting to fuck you hard, nibbling on your skin as your exposed tits bounced with his thrusts.

- Fuck! Y/n.. - Slash growled in your ear as his cock went in and out of you faster and faster. - Y/n...

You continued to hear him say your name until the bathroom door opened and you almost fell naked to the floor, it wasn't Slash who was calling you.

- What the fuck is that?! - Izzy screamed, Duff and Axl appeared behind him with wide eyes, watching the scene between you and Slash.

- Shit.

[oldmanyaois]

ok hello tumblr :3 idk where to get started posting here but here's some stuff i still like that i did for the #happyedizzyweek event on twitter early this year

[mundayme]

steddyhands at the airport

-

stede and ed are happy that everything eventually worked out and izzy realizes that he doesn't mind holding hands in public anymore

[mmievin]

Roadtip modern AU moment for the lads,

[arsenicflame]

steddyhands au where Stede & Izzy start fake dating to scam a load of money (either to secure Stede's inheritance, or just like a classic wedding gift scam or something) but they also still both kinda hate each other and are constantly bickering, and keep slipping up and raising suspicion & have to dig themselves a deeper and deeper lie to keep the ruse up

(meanwhile, Stede AND Izzy have independently started fucking Ed behind each others back. Ed thinks hes seeing a wonderful polyamorous couple who just arent interested in threesomes, meanwhile Izzy and Stede are desperately trying to keep the other from finding out theyre sleeping with someone else)

(yes they hate each other and arent even dating for real. yes they are sneaking Ed behind the others back like its a real affair. its stizzy)

[local-space-gay]

I noticed there’s simultaneously both more and less historical accuracy this season. The real Blackbeard did shoot Izzy in the leg, there are a lot more historical figures like Ned Low, Mary Read, Anne Bonny and Zheng Yi Sao, and Stede Bonnet did make prisoners walk the plank.

Izzy hands also sings a song from the 1940s, Ned Low uses the word lolz, and technically Zheng wasn’t born until 1775.

I love it.

[thym3y]

i ❤️ old man yaoi

[izzyhandsyouaglassofwine]

seen a couple people running to that "is it bad writing or do you not understand genre" post in regards to the ofmd upset. and let me remind people that this show was marketed as a romantic comedy, ESPECIALLY this season!

In that regard, I found an article/blog post that directly addresses the question "can you have character death in a romantic comedy?" And it really hits the nail on the head.

Even if you were to make the argument "well it's a dark comedy!" or "its a pirate show!" there's still a balance that needs to be met if you don't want to alienate your audience.

People are going to argue that the death was earned because they spent the entire season building up his character and "completing his arc". Well, I'll argue that they DIDN'T complete his arc. In fact they took about twelve steps back in his death scene by seemingly ret conning his progress and having him center Ed's feelings on his literal deathbed. So it really feels a lot like fridging, because that's exactly what it was. Izzy's death was for Ed's arc, not his own. And they spent so much time focusing on Izzy all season, focusing on his growth and giving him such a specific arc about queerness and recovery, that yeah, his death feels like a slap to the face and not a tragic story beat that makes the story all the richer.

[malcolmreeds]

snapshots from my ofmd ouizzy modern au 💛🖤

[mistydeyes]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Task Force 141 and a reader that they never have seen out of uniform until one day they all go to a bar but the reader is late? Next thing they know the reader walks up to them dressed like they just walked straight out of the 2000’s?

(if you end up doing this request: thank you so much! I absolutely luv your writing!!)

thank you so much for requesting! i literally am in love with 2000's fashion like you'll be seeing me walking with low-cut jeans and a baby tee fr

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summary: After a tiring mission, the 141 invites you to drink away the night at the pub. However, you get into a lively argument about fashion when they question your choice in 2000's inspired attire.

pairings: taskforce 141 x platonic!gn!reader (codename: Storm)

warnings: swearing, slight bullying (they fr just don't understand fashion)

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"Didn't we tell Storm half-past eight?" Gaz asked, looking down at his watch. The pub was nearly empty as the men continued to add glass after glass to a growing pile. Despite reminding you with a string of texts, you still haven't made an appearance. "Still don't get why they had to change," Soap continued, choking down another drink, "Lt's still wearing his goddamn mask." The group laughed as their attention was directed to Ghost, still wearing his signature face mask. "They probably wanted a shower and some fresh trousers," Price commented and the rest of the group returned to a more interesting conversation.

As the group laughed at Soap recounting Ghost's out-of-character dialogue in Las Almas, their gaze fell on the pub's door as it swung open. The group smiled at the familiar face and gestured you over. You walked to the table quickly, feeling the attention in the empty pub. At first, you thought it was due to your late entrance but when you approached, you saw all eyes focused on your attire. It was like you walked out of the 2000s or robbed a Delias before your arrival. You felt a little self-conscious at the confused looks and wondered what all the fuzz was about. "What? Do I have a stain?" you questioned as you dusted off your low-cut, denim jeans. "No, it's just-" Gaz began to say but Soap interjected. "Why do you dress like that?" he asked and you raised an eyebrow. You looked down at your jeans and Von Dutch top. "But I normally dress like this?" you said with a curious tone. You dressed like this before joining the military and held on to the lively aesthetic of the early 2000s. You were embarrassed to admit but Britney Spears and *NSYNC were your fashion icons.

"Yeah," Ghost spoke up as he eyed the interesting font of your shirt, "you look like you could be an extra in a Spice Girls video." You rolled your eyes, grabbing at one of the half-drunk glasses on the table. "You've been quiet, Captain," you edged while looking at him, "what do you think?" There was a hush over the room as you waited in anticipation. "Clothes are clothes," he simply replied and the table roared with laughter. "Such a grandad thing to say," Soap loudly exclaimed and everyone clambered with sentiments of agreement. "Sorry I don't wear Wrangler jeans and black fitness tops," you mumbled. It was a subtle jab at your colleagues but Gaz took it to heart. "I have style!" he shouted as you shook your head in disapproval.

"Gaz, you look like someone trying to emulate an Instagram model or some teenager's Pinterest board," you argued and you were met by the howling of the tipsy men. "And Captain, I'm sorry but you look like a father going on holiday to the Swiss Alps," you directed towards Price as everyone realized this was becoming an insult fueled rage. Soap was still laughing wildly, shaking his head in agreement with your every word. "Oh you shouldn't be laughing, Soap," you said as you turned to him, "a navy blue sweater and black jeans are a fashion crime." He quickly turned red and looked embarrassed as he examined the mismatched colors. Everyone held their breath as you turned to Ghost. "And Lt," you paused, thinking of what you should say next, "you dress like you've never heard of color."

[duffslut]

[sibmakesart]

Snippets of the college au

Izzys the one everyone thinks is a bad influance because hes a little angry emo but hes actually the only one that has the slightest disire to graduate

Hes also the worst teatcher ever and will let his boyfriends lead him astray from his homework

[tallowfallow]

It's always funny to me how people give Modern!AU Izzy these real cool jobs like surgeon or chef or rock star or big, impressive CEO of an unnamed company doing unnamed trade.

Modern Izzy is, at best, a manager of Walgreens that nobody respects. He eats ramen that he microwaves in the backroom. He yells about teenagers loitering in the parking lot. He has a specific cash register that no one else is allowed to use because they'll mess up his settings. He sabotaged the PA system and plays music from a second-hand phone from a company that might have never existed. He will eat product off the shelf but write up anybody else who does. He wears a lanyard with fourty six keys attached to it. For some reason, he's wearing dress shoes. Sometimes when it's raining, he'll go stand in the parking lot to get soaked. He lives with two roommates (Ed and Jack) who are never home, are possibly fucking (they are) and are absolutely never doing their chores. He watches the camera live feeds from his apartment and calls in to berate any employees who aren't working hard enough. He definitely says "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean." He let a stray cat live in the manager's office. He gives quarterly performance reviews and never ranks anyone about a 3 outta 5.

He makes 15 dollars an hour.