#mod's newly melted heart

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

In case anyone was wondering, i was able to tell that josh groban recorded a new non-cast-album version of Dust and Ashes because he breathed differently between words

[bill-ciphers-nightmare-blog]

WELL, WELL, WELL, HELLO, HELLSITE!

NAME’S BILL CIPHER, BUT YOU MIGHT KNOW ME AS YOUR PREVIOUS LORD & MASTER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY , OR BY A THOUSAND OTHER NAMES AND POSTERS!! I’M EVERYWHERE!

NOW I GUESS YOU’LL BE WONDERING HOW I’M EVEN HERE, RIGHT? “Oh no! But Bill, you’re supposed to be dead!” WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY? I’M A GOD- AKIN TO AN INEXTINGUISHABLE COCKROACH THAT MELTS YOUR SHOES!! FACE IT, YOU KNEW I’D BE BACK.

AND BEFORE YOU ASK ABOUT THERAPRISM- DON’T!! ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT I’M HERE NOW, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT! COME ON KID, MAKE THE MOST OF IT! IT’S NOT EVERY CENTURY YOU GET TO TALK TO A DREAM DEMON! YOU’RE LUCKY! GO ON, BEFORE I DECIDE YOUR SKIN PUPPET LOOKS BETTER WITHOUT A HAND IN IT! HAHAHAHAHA

Hi there! ‘Tis me, the one wearing his exoskeleton! I wrote this introduction a whiiile ago, but I’m editing it to include some info.

△

Who’s yapping

buy gold: Bill speaking tag!

hologram: Mod speaking in post tag! (I talk in the tags themselves all the time.)

Other tags!

ford pines: These are self-explanatory, but this universe’s Ford in particular is the lovely @grunklefordpines! Interactions usually lead to the billfordivorce tag, which I highly recommend.

the siren: The spectacular @stanfordssiren! Calypso’s the name. Once dated & nearly drowned Ford, but since remeeting with him has been trying to become a better person, even giving up her diet. She and Bill fight a lot, namely because they both want Stanford and dislike each other due to circumstances. Related tags that may result: sirenford & sirenfordivorce.

henchmaniac(s): Those guys! Found at @henchmaniac-kryptos & @henchmaniacteeth.

the axolotl: No particular Axolotl for the universe- Bill interacts with quite a few now and then.

There are other characters that exist in this universe- A lot! Most that Bill hasn’t interacted with that much yet, but they’ll/they’d be found in the tags stan pines, mabel pines, dipper pines, fiddleford mcgucket, and so on. Follow them because they’re awesome and for extra context and plot and stuff!

-

bill meet up: Any time other Bills interact with mine.

euclydia / scalene and euclid: Any time they’re mentioned or interact. Angst! Yay! Pain is hilarious!

billford: Self explanatory, and rarer than billfordivorce.

theraprism: Anything about that. Bill is also currently here for the foreseeable (?) future.

-

billypso: The arc in which Bill got someone dubbed (by Mabel) as “Wrongzilla” (Also played by me) came to Calypso and manipulated them over a few days into a deal with a disguised Bill. He possessed her to restart Weirdmaggedon (& prevent her and Ford from getting close again) and there was much chaos in which many fell under the hypnosis of Cal’s song. In the end, a theraprism therapist called Francis Paradox showed up on the Axolotl’s behalf to stop Billypso, but failed rather quickly. Billypso and The Axolotl had been arguing, and as Bill did not heed its threats/warnings, he was stripped of all of his powers, which finally slingshot him out of Cal and back into his cell.

billypso aftermath: The current arc! Cipher is furious about what happened and adjusting back to Theraprism. Meanwhile, the rest are newly traumatized and attempting to mend what was broken, …or so. Bill wants to regain his powers.

△

Think that’s about it! Now remember, don’t take what Bill says to heart. He says Cipherish things- It’s terminal. We all know who he is. A deeply messed up triangle. So please do not take any actual offense!

Thank you! Please interact, & let’s get weird!! :)

– @floralstorms, mod.

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

women pity me fish hardly acknowledge me

[interactive-watchers]

A Silver Apology

Notes: Me and Mod Salem wrote this drabble together! Amaris POV is mine and Salem POV is theirs, this is in the DSMP by the way

The young nymph entered the small forge just by the back side of her cottage slipping on her apron, and tying up her chestnut colored hair with a white ribbon. She threw the ores into the furnace, feeling the hot air of the furnace be released into the air, letting the iron smelt into ingots. A comfortable familiar feeling seeped into her as the heat sent sweat gliding down her face. She allowed the ingots to cool down,eventually becoming more solid, the newly cooled metal showing the reflection of the girl’s slightly soot covered face. A pang of guilt hits her when she remembers why she's doing this, but she shuts the thought down, she doesn’t have the right to pity herself when she made them both feel so much worse. She puts her focus back onto the task at hand and places the iron into the melting pot, letting the iron become liquid. She quietly pours the searingly hot liquid into the sheet mold to let it cool, leaving her a moment to herself. She silently stares at the iron as it solidifies, dozens of thoughts racing behind those hazel eyes. She lets out a deep sigh as she returns back to her work putting the sheet metal onto her anvil to begin hammering it into shape. The metal gleamed a bright orange from the heat as she banged her hammer onto it with strong yet calculated swings. Regret still lingered in the back of her consciousness while her hands worked. Having forged so many times before her body continued reflectively as she got lost in her thoughts.

She should have stayed, or at the very least waited a little longer. Now she was reunited with them both, but their relationships still felt strained. She still remembers that conversation with Salem when they saw each other here for the first time. Though he tried not to show it, Amaris knew Salem too well to not notice they were hurt. Amaris knew he had issues with being abandoned, yet she left anyway. She really was stupid enough to think that a small goodbye would be enough to erase a millena of anxieties and fears. And Aurora, one of the few people patient and kind enough to help her through her issues, all for her to leave her behind. She’s one of her few constants in her life and she couldn’t even return the favor. Gods, she is such a piece of shit. She felt her vision blur and a familiar wetness on her cheeks yet she continued to pound the metal as it began to resemble the head of a throwing axe and a dagger. Her arms begin to tremble, tears streaming down her cheeks now. Yet she continues pounding, putting all of her sadness, guilt, and regret into her work. The loud clanging of the hammer against the iron being the only thing keeping her grounded. As she pounds the metal slowly starts to take form, her breathing begins to even out and the tears begin to subside. Until finally the hammering is done. She silently lowers her hammer and stares at the weapons, her heart beating so loud in her ears as she shakily takes in deep breaths. She stands there in silence for what feels like hours, other than the crackling fire and noises of the forge she’s left alone with her own thoughts, though this silence feels more empty than usual.

Wiping her tears quickly she grabs her tongs and plucks the weapons off the anvil, both orange with heat, and dips them into the nearby water bucket leaving them cool to the touch. Picking up her rag she wipes away any soot or imperfections on the weapons, leaving them with a brighter metallic sheen. She gripped her bench grinder and began to run it down the sides of the dagger, repeating this until it was sharp enough for her standards. She then moved on to the axe head, scraping the bench grinder against the metal’s length. She thought she was making the right choice coming here. Everyone told her their disappearance was “normal” and “just Nare being Nare'' yet her instincts screamed at her something was wrong. That this time was different. Sure, turns out she was right, but the consequences of coming here were far worse than she expected. Now she’s stuck here as well until the gospel court manages to bring that sadistic bastard of a god to justice. She might as well not even be here with how much use she has. She continued to sharpen the axe head, with each stroke becoming stronger and stronger as she worked the metal. She finally held it up blowing off the dust, the cool metal contrasting her flushed skin. Her eyes puffy and her nose red, she rips her eyes away from her reflection. She began to carve details into the axe head, thoughts now pushed aside by her silent concentration. The minutes passed by like seconds as she gently yet firmly marked the axe with engravings, only stopping to wipe the sweat now running down her face. The axe head was almost completely covered in long, curbing lines that joined together near the face, the edges being the only spot untouched by her hand. With a metallic thunk she places the axe head onto the table, plucking a piece of wood from the table and getting to work on making the handle for the axe.

~*~

A traveler with a strange, moth like cloak strode through the woods on the way to the nymph’s cottage. “First My Claimed disappeared to this ‘ell ‘ole than my friends' damn.” They muttered under their breath. They had stopped in a place called ‘Snowchester’ during their travels, and their immortal heart almost stopped at the sight of their favorite claimed, a blonde avian hybrid named Theseus (affectionately called Tommy) with no memory of them and no wings. “Ayy Salem, gotta pull through” They muttered to themselves through gritted teeth. They checked their compass again. They were close to the coords that Amaris’ letter had told them to come too. Then in the distance, there it is, a simple cottage with a small forge on the side, surrounded by beautiful, vibrant wildflowers and a garden. (Salem would never admit it, but they always admired Amaris’ way to keep plants alive. They could only keep their associated plants alive) They pulled their hood down. Better see what they needed. (There couldn’t be any other reason Amaris would want them at her short-term home, they were proving themselves to be a horrid friend and patron. Really Salem, they obviously didn’t want you around. That’s why they left) They quickly pulled themselves out of their thoughts. They had a reputation as one of the two death gods that were actually happy, and they were just standing there, staring at their best friend's property. They briskly walked up the path to the home, and knocked three times (a habit they picked up from Kristen) on the rough-hewn door. Amaris opened the door. “Salem!! My friend!!!,” (She looked like she had been crying) “I didn’t think you’d come!!”

“Of ‘ourse I’d come! ya are my best friend!” Salem said back. (They wondered if she was crying because of them)

Amaris opened the door wider, ushering in her godly friend and leading them to the kitchen table. "Tea?"

“Of ‘ourse.” With that Amaris put a kettle to the stove and then turned to look at Salem. “So.. uh, The server is fucked right? It’s not just me?”

“No It ain’t just ya, I noticed it too. I saw ‘ommy on the way ‘ere, an’ ‘e dinae know who I was!”

Amaris hummed and turned to make the tea. “Uh. I did want to say I’m sorry Salem. You didn’t deserve to get left alone again, but I still left. And that was me being a horrible friend. I really am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.” Salem sat in silence (what does she mean that she’s the bad friend?) “See, I dinae know why yer ‘poloizing to me lass. I’m the bad friend for ‘ver reactin” Salem answered, rubbing at the back of their neck, fidgeting with the claps on their necklaces. “No Salem. I shouldn’t have left. A simple goodbye will not erase thousands of years of your anxiety.” Amaris sighed, handing the god their cup of tea. “‘anks” they muttered. Amaris sighed again. “OH! I have something for you!! Stay right here!” She ran into another room, letting Salem drink in silence again. She came back into the room, with a parcel, wrapped in simple black fabric. “Ay, wots ‘at now?” Salem laughed. The awkward tension seemed to be gone from the room. “A present!” Amaris answered happily, pushing the package into Salem’s lap. “Open it!” Salem laughed again, Quickly unwrapping the parcel, revealing a beautiful throwing axe, with intricate carvings on the handle, and wrought designs on the head of the axe itself. All in all, hand-made, probably from the forge right outside. “‘OLY SHITE AMA ‘IS IS AWESOME” Salem cackled happily. Amaris giggled. “I’m glad you like it, consider it an apology gift.”

“Well ‘en consider yaself forgiven.” Salem said, pulling Amaris into a hug, like they used too. (I wonder if they forgive me back?) “Soo.. now ‘at the sappy ‘art is over, wot are we gonna do ‘bout the total weirdness of ‘is server? I mean, ‘ommy’s been messed with, an’ Tech won’t talk to me; so Aurora is tryen’ to talk ‘ome sense inta ‘im.”

“I have a theory my friend, and it’s not great. But we will figure it out. I think some people know what is going on, and we are going to get to the bottom of it. Someone is behind this.”

[mojavehearts]

Fallout 4 Companions react to synth of soles spouse

ROMANCED 

REQUESTED!

(Did only the romanceable companions for this one! I’m sorry if anyone’s upset that others like nick, deacon ECT weren't included :((( I would happily add them if it was really wanted though :)) ) 

(also to who requested it I’m sorry it took so long ! xx)

I tried to base this one on their personalities/how ive seen them ingame deal with things

(also ‘some’ of these assume that Sole took in Synth Shaun but if your sole didn’t just...Disregard it hsjdkfj)

Cait:

Cait LOVED just walking around with Sole, every-so-often fighting some raiders or supermutants or feral ghoul. But she never thought that on their way back, upon entering Sanctuary their Spouse would be standing right at the gate waiting for them, but this couldn’t be ? They were dead...Right? Sole took Cait to see their body...Cait was unimaginably scared and already heartbroken, would Sole leave her now? what would happen to them, to her and the person she loved so much, her rock. Sole was just as shocked as Cait was turning to Cait and then back to their presumed dead Spouse, but sole knew deep down it wasn’t them, couldn’t be. ‘’Cait, go home and wait for me can you? I promise ill be back soon’’ every bone in Cait’s body wanted to refuse but she didn’t she walked on and hated herself for it, she sat on the couch legs shaking, picking at her nails and biting at her fingers for what felt like forever until she heard the door open, she immediately turned her head to the sound, sole stood there eyes deep and murky Sole flopped down beside Cait with a sigh and then turned to her with a sad smile ‘’Synth...Shaun definitely has his father/mother’s sense of humour..’’ they laughed dryly and Cait swallows deeply ‘’So ..You just gonna throw me away then?’’ Sole raises an eyebrow at Cait ‘’Why in gods name would I do that Cait? ‘’ ‘’Synth or not they’re your husband/wife, that would mean more to you than me’’ Sole shook their head, pulling Cait close with a sigh ‘’It’s not like that, you’re what matters to me now alright?, I love you Cait’’ That was enough for cait, usually she would be flying off the rails, breaking things, beating on their spouse, but the way Sole said what they said she believed it.

Curie:

(why aren't there enough gifs out there of this BEAUTIFUL woman I cant omg)

Curie stood there, frozen. staring deep into the eyes of Soles ‘dead’ spouse as they looked around the room curiously, Sole had gone out for the day and Curie was just doing some housework when they casually walked in, she didn’t make a sound and they finally turned and jumped with a yelp, making curie scream out, then they both just looked at each other wide eyed and breathing heavy, she had half expected them to hurt her or yell at her or something for being in their spouses house, pictures of Curie and Sole were framed basically all over the house, it didn't take a genius to realise what was going on, but their spouse smiled at her ‘’Thank you, for taking care of Him/Her, when I was created I was just made to help...But I got free I wanted to know who ‘I’ was or who I am or who I was meant to be but I know now that I may be have the same body, same memories. But I assure you I’m not here to damage this relationship I may have the same body, but I’m a different person’’ Curie was pleased and looked back to them with a soft smile, maybe just maybe it would be okay ‘’Let me make you something to eat’’

Danse:

Danse wanted to take Shaun out for the day, teach him how to shoot and how to hunt. Sole had insisted that he and Shaun bond more and Danse NEVER says no to Sole, not that he’d want to Shaun was a lovely kid, a little soft around the edges but he’s sure he would...Uh grow? into a fine man

Danse had helped Shaun learn how to make his bullet land better from afar and he was doing quite well shot a mongrel dog from a few feet away behind a bush ‘’Congratulations soldier, Ill go bring it over maybe your mother/father will mount it, ‘Shaun’s first big kill’ you know that sounds pretty violent actually’’ Shaun laughed a little and took a seat in the ground Danse smiles at him and ruffles his hair ‘’Ill be right back buddy, you keep practicing’’ It wasn’t exactly to far and he made sure Shaun was still in his sights and that he could hear more practice shots but as he was walking back he noticed them stop he walked a little faster and then dropped the carcass ...Was that...Shaun was laughing and smiling up at the man/woman ‘’Danse! look! they must have made them too!’’ Danse was shocked and quite disturbed he watched as their spouse stood and turned to him, a slight smile on their face ‘’Shaun was telling me all about you, you’re raising him well’’ Danse felt his chest slowly untighten, the BOS paladin in him wanted to believe this was a way to hurt him, hurt Sole, but he knew he and this person were one and the same now, but it still stung so he just brushed them off and walked past them to check up on Shaun ‘’I wouldn’t hurt him, I know he’s not technically my son, but he’s still just a boy’’ for some reason the words ‘my son’ struck Danse hard in the chest and he stood ‘’I don’t know why you are here but you’d better leave, Sole has moved on. For good’’ Danse couldn’t control himself in that moment and the other just sighed ‘’I understand, but there is not were else for me, I thought, I think maybe Sole can help’’ Danse’s nostrils flare slightly ‘’You get your help but you stay away from my family alright’’

Hancock:

(im sad the only gif of him smoking I could find was a modded version of him :(( )

Hancock was back in Good Neighbour ‘Mayoral’ business and such, he was just enjoying a cigarette when his doors slammed open, Fahrenheit immediately jumps up to defend Hancock, when he then notices who it is ‘’What the-’’ ‘’You stay away from my wife/husband!’’ they yelled at him, practically spewing venom Fahrenheit turns to Hancock eyes wide as if to say ‘what the fuck I thought this guy/chick was dead!’ he just waves her away ‘’It alright, I’m sure we can talk about this like adults’’ he puts out his cigarette and stands slowly ‘’You stay away from my partner!, you...UGH what even are you’’ Hancock was used to people saying things like this so it didn't really affect him all that much ‘’Hey, don't piss me off are you forgettin’ I got guards here?, look I don't know why you’re so upset you’ve been ‘dead’ for years now, me and sole got a whole thing goin on’’ ‘’dead?...I’m not...dead!’’ Hancock tilts his head to the side, what the hell was going on here ‘’Sole saw you die friend, back in the vault’’ ‘’what?! no we got out and then the institute took us in but they went missing and they couldn’t fine them!, that's where I woke up and then someone destroyed it! after asking around I find out they’re this whole new person and that they’re with...You?!’’ Hancock knew then what was going on and sighed softly, leaning up against the wall ‘’hate to break it to ya buddy you’ve been dead for 60 plus years’’ he then chuckles ‘’come to think of it I think its 69 now...Damn I’m old’’ their spouse had had enough ‘’stop with this funny business! I was in the army/I was a lawyer!’’ Hancock groaned slightly and stood up straight ‘’You want proof? then deal with me for a little while and ill show you’’

it was...Long and tedious and frankly very awkward but they were finally in the vault, staring back at the ‘real’ spouse ‘’I...Oh my god I think I’m going to be sick..’’ Hancock nods in agreement ‘’Sole wanted to bury ya but things always get in the way, listen I never met to take em from ya but there’s some things you gotta know now’’

MacCready:

MacCready and Sole were having a great time together, watching Shaun and Duncan play when suddenly someone came running up to them embracing Sole quickly Mac gasped out and pulled out his sniper ‘’Oh honey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you I just woke up, somewhere I-I I don’t even know how to explain I...You look so different-’’ they then trail off and turn to Mac holding a gun to their head in shock ‘’Hey buddy put it away this is my wife/husband’’ Maccready looks at them and then Sole helplessly and then to Duncan and Shaun and then frowns deeply slowly holstering his weapon ‘’I get it...’’ he didn't know if he should laugh or cry, frankly he didn’t even know what he would have done if Lucy had come back would he go back? he loves Sole with his whole being but...’’No, I’m not’’ Sole blurts out ‘’What!?’’ both their spouse and Mac say at the same time in shock ‘’I’m married Nate/Nora, to Robert.’’ Sole takes MacCready’s arm and holds it, their spouse looks at them both in shock and Mac could have just melted at that moment, he was on cloud nine but his conscious spoke out ‘’But...Sole they’re your-’’ ‘’I don't care who they are or were or... whatever!, I saw them DIE so I know for a fact that its not...Really them anyway, even if they were that isn't me anymore, I love YOU’’ and here comes the heart eyes, he couldn't help but to be real smug about it either smirking slightly at their ex they look on in confusion, this was gonna take a lot of explaining

Preston:

It was during the raid on the institute people yelling and shooting, Preston was full of fury and love his newly found relationship with sole had really helped him gain a lot of confidence back in himself, they helped him become the man he wanted to be, well the man he always was and he couldn’t thank them enough for that really.

They ran together into a room guns at the ready to fire but when they walked in there was a man/woman holding up their arms 

Sole puts their weapon down in shock ‘’Preston...look’’ Preston takes a good look at them and his eyes widen he turns back to sole and they share a glance ‘’P-Please don’t kill me’’ they didn’t recognise him/her, Preston felt bad for feeling relief that they didn't but he was weighing the odds of Sole leaving him already ‘’Lets take them with us, get them to safety...Please I can’t think of them dying again, even if its not them’’ Sole whispered to Preston softly, the flawed part of him was anxious and wanted to leave them there, but the better part of him knew that wasn’t what he was like and he nodded at Sole, they went through the rest of the Institute wiping it clean at the end Sole had even seen the synth version of their son, which made them go into hysterics, sobbing and holding him close. It was a good and bad day for them both

but also relieving 

Preston strutted around Sanctuary later that day, anxious as hell, worrying if Sole wanted to leave him and start again with their son and husband/wife so when a hand came down on his shoulder he jumped ‘’Oh god preston im sorry didn’t mean to sneak up on you’’ Sole stared at him with gentle eyes and he could have fallen inlove all over again ‘’Babe I-’’ Preston sighed not being able to let out the words he wanted to, Sole shook their head slowly ‘’You’re an open book you know that? I love you, now come home Shaun needs to formally meet you’’ Sole kisses him softly on the nose and pats his chest, walking away slowly

and his worries all melted away

Piper:

Piper was writing a new paper, it was all she had seemed to do lately since sole was out on this strange railroad mission (if your sole didn’t side with the railroad/didn't join it or anything just change it to B.O.S or whatever you’d like) that they knew they would be gone a while for, it had been two weeks or so now and Piper missed them ...Like really bad, so she was writing paper after paper to try and keep her mind elsewhere, but resting up on their bed at Homeplate she just couldn’t tonight, she wondered if they were okay if they were eating or sleeping enough, if they were hurt. It was a lot to take and she wondered if she needed a cigarette 

but then the door squeaked open ‘’P? you here?’’ 

‘‘Blue!’‘ 

Piper jumped up excitedly and raced down the stairs squeezing Sole into a tight hug ‘’I missed you too Piper, but hey you better look at what I found’’ Piper was confused and slowly let go of Sole, her eyes widen when she’s met face to face with an exact copy of their ex, she knew it couldn’t have been them, because sole buried them in Sanctuary ages ago ‘’Blue I- what’’ she was lost for words to be honest 

‘‘Oh believe me I was just as shocked when I found them, there was this whole synth refuge up in the capital wasteland! they all had the mind wipe but no face change ...I had wondered why and then realised all of those people were replicas of dead spouses from my time...a bit Sick right? they were the newest one’‘ Sole almost chuckled as their ‘ex spouse’ walked around eyeing everything ‘‘I just ...wow Blue! wait... you ain’t leaving me right...Right?!’‘ Piper joked at first but then realised the gravity of the situation Sole laughed and took her hand softly raising it up to kiss her knuckles ‘‘oh my god P’‘

(the fact that you can tell which ones I wrote first and then which I wrote after I woke up from my intense sleep fjfhfffdhsj) (Im sorry again for the wait! )

[spookyspaghetti-hcs]

Wedding fic- Made by Lil, helper!

Today was the day, Brian was gonna marry the man of his dreams, Timothy Wright.

He was looking at himself, the mirror showing him from head-to-toe, He was wearing a white three piece suit, black shoes and a black bowtie, His hair was smoothed back and he smelled heavily of cologne, Jessica, Amy, Jane and Nina were there with him, They all had on similar white dresses that hugged their curves perfectly, black lacy sashes and white rose designs in the hips, Jane was an exception with a white rose on her shoulder seeing as she was the maid of honor, Her and Brian were quite close, She was one of his best friends and practically called the role before Brian even offered it to her.

��You look amazing, Brian.” Jane said reassuringly, Noticing him fidgeting with his bowtie and gloves, He seemed to calm down slightly, letting out a deep breath “Yeah, I know” he replied, flashing a charming smirk her way “I’m just- nervous, really nervous.” This time, Nina was the one to speak “Don’t worry, everything will be completely fine, don’t overthink it.” She clasped a hand on his shoulder “You’re just getting wedding jitters, happens all the time. You’ve just gotta stay positive!” Brian exhaled once more, straightening out his suit “Yeah- Yeah, you’re totally right, There’s nothing to worry about. Hopefully.”

As for Tim, He, Jay, Toby, Jeff and Alex were still getting ready, Tim had on a black suit, black shirt and a white tie. Jay, Toby and Jeff were all groomsmen and surprisingly enough; Alex was the best man, The two of them began to become quite good friends after they set what happened aside although they do still fight and get on each others nerves, All of them had on black tuxes with quite obnoxious red rose pins.

"It’s gonna be fine, It’s gonna be fine.” Tim kept repeating to himself, pacing around as he tried to calm his nerves, he was failing miserably and sweating bullets, Alex noticed quite quickly “Chill out, It’ll all be good, man.” he said, brushing his own hair back, “I know that!” Tim quickly snapped back “I just- I can’t help it.”

He remembers the day he proposed to Brian, The weather was lovely, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining down on them as they sat on the grass, Brian was pre-occupied with a half-finished daisy chain and Tim was re-hearsing everything he planned to say in his head. “So- Um, Brian?” He started awkwardly, he was fidgeting with his sleeves and his eyes darted everywhere “What’s up, Buddy?” He took in a deep breath, turned to face Brian and propped himself on one knee

"Brian, I’m quite sure I’ve loved you since the day we met and everyday since then you’ve made me a happier, better man. I always feel close to you and I love knowing I have a future with you. I’ll always be with you, Through the good and the bad and the ugly, I want to grow old with you, I love you so much-” He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a little black box and opening it to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring “Will you marry me?”

He remembers seeing how happy Brian was as he flung himself into his arms, Crying “Yes” over and over again-

“Yo, Tim, Are you in there, bud?” Jeff’s raspy voice snapped him back into reality as he waved a hand in his face “Right, He’s back on planet Earth, guys”

“I know you’re nervous man, I’ve been there.” Alex said, shooting a glance towards Jay who was currently trying to tie his own tie, it wasn’t going very well “But if you overthink, you’ll fuck up. So like, Don’t do that.” Tim shook his head, As bad as Alex was at giving advice, He was strangely encouraging. “Yeah, Okay, It’s all gonna be fine. Try not to burn anything down this time though, Alex.” Jay snorted in the background, Earning himself a glare from his husband.

-

Soon, the wedding was in full swing, Sally and BEN walked as the flower girl and the ring bearer, Both were grinning like mad, After them came the pairs; Jessica and Jay Nina and Jeff Amy and Alex And lastly, Jane and Toby. They all took their places on both sides of the Alter, Tim was already there, waiting anxiously for Brian to walk down the aisle, He couldn’t wait to see him after a day of not running into him at all, Suddenly the music started and the guests rose from their seats. Brian walked down the aisle with his red ad white rose bouquet next to The Slenderman, He had offered to walk him down seeing as he didnt have any family to do it, That nearly brought Brian to tears.

Tim could only gape in amazement at how stunning his groom looked, He looked like an angel Tim swore he could’ve fainted when Brian finally reached him, He gently took his hands, Looking him in the eyes with utmost love and adoration and Brian did the same, The priest started but they really couldn’t hear him as everything around them faded out, Tim could not take his eyes off of Brian ‘You look- beautiful.“ he mouthed in awe and Brian flashed one of his infamous grins his way, Melting Tim’s heart on the spot, The priest cleared his throat ’'Ahem, I said- You may now say your vows.”

Tim flushed red, embarrassed but went first “Words can not say how glad I am to have met you, You are my best friend and soulmate. You’re sweet, smart, brave, beautiful and that list just goes on, But we’d be here for years if I tried to finish it. You’ve put up with me through everything and I canot imagine my life without you. Brian, I love you more than anything.” By the time he finished, Brian had tears in his eyes and could barely start his sentence “Aw, Tim. The day I met you, Life has been a constant adventure, Filled with so much joy and complete craziness but I regret nothing, not even the bad times, you were always my ray of hope and you’ve made me feel so strong even when everyone said I was weak, I love you with all my heart, Timothy. I can’t imagine my life without ever knowing you.” Tim had a big, goofy smile on his face by the time Brian had finished and, believe it or not, tears began to fall from his eyes and he reached over to entertwine their fingers, squeezing the others hand. “And now, the rings”

BEN brought the rings up to them and they both put one on each others fingers, sharing a tender smile. “Do you, Timothy Wright, take Brian Thomas to be your lawfully wedded Husband? To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” “Duh.” Tim answered, earning some laughs from the crowd, The priest repeated the question to Brian, Who in turn replied “Of course, I do.” “Well then, By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom.” “Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice.” Tim smirked, Sweeping Brian into a passionate kiss, The crowd erupted in cheers, whistles and congratulations to the very happy newly weds.

Mod Kenshi note: And we have our first request filled by a helper! You can find out more about Lil, including her main & her creepypasta blog on spooky unrelated, so go check her out! Anyways, any of y'all remember this prompt from, what August? For our 100 follower fic give away?

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

Also i might fuck around and musically analyze all the songs in great comet for fun. Starting with either pierre or the ball

[thestuckylibrary]

Mod’s Reads: February 2018

Here’s the list of everything the Mods have read this past month!

Mod Iamnmbr3

The Wedding of Bucky Barnes by stephrc79 (complete | 67,805 | T )

This is the story of how an instagramming, trolling, pain in the ass got married to an equally annoying, artistic, bossy, stubborn blond oaf.

Or, you know, how one James Buchanan Barnes, Instagram Extraordinaire, married Captain America himself, one Steven Grant Rogers.

between everything, yourself, and home by napricot (complete | 24,396 | E )

This is your home?” asks Bucky at one point. “It’s where I’m living now, yeah.” Bucky comes home. Steve's a little slower on the uptake.

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario) (WIP | 53,118 | M )

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

Broken White Boy by herecomesbucktofuckshitup (complete | 2,405 | T )

Shuri fixes Bucky Barnes.

ROGERS: An American Musical by HopeNight (complete | 11,317 | T )

In the MCU, instead of picking up a biography of Alexander Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda picks up a biography of Steve Rogers. This changes things. While the world goes insane for the musical, Steve and the man who believes himself to be Bucky Barnes find their own ways to take control of their narratives.

So here's the real question: How does a half-dead orphan born in the middle of a forgotten spot in the tenements of New York without a father and raised by a single mother grow up to be the first and only super soldier?

Tender, Like a Bruise by Bohemienne (complete | 1,932 | T )

Bucky is awake and healed, but Steve’s afraid of what it will mean.

There Is No Shortage of Blood* by alby_mangroves, Dira Sudis (dsudis) (WIP | 109,855 | E ) *past noncon 

The long slow recovery of Bucky Barnes after his escape from HYDRA.

(And the longer, slower recovery of his sex life.)

just goddamn marry me already, for fuck’s sake by newsbypostcard (complete | 6,376 | E )

“Do you,” Steve says, fingers newly tugging Bucky’s underwear until it starts to slide off his hips, “want to marry me, or not?”

Bucky sighs. “You know, in some circles people would consider this interrogation under duress.”

Mod Blue

In honor of v-day from spitandvinegar

For @silentwalrus1 , ANG Steve and Bucky sexting, incorporating a couple of very sensual lines from @pornhubcommentsonvalentines . I regret nothing.

The Job Between Here and There by Pohadka (complete | 40,336 | M)

He might be free from HYDRA’s command and making his own life now, but James Buchanan Barnes is far more lost than he’d ever been before. Nothing matches the vague memories he’s recovered so far, and the world has progressed far beyond needing soldiers. To find out what he wants, and how to get it, he just needs a little… Leverage.

Part 1 of The Job Between Here and There

It's Just Temporary by perfect_plan (complete | 52,615 | M)

Bucky Barnes has no idea what he wants to do with his life and is stumbling from one temp job to the next. Hopefully he can keep his new job at Stark Industries for longer than a week...

the cold never bothered me anyway by icoulddothisallday (complete | 75,562 | E)

Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).

The Wishing Stone by greenbergsays (onehot | 2,850 | E)

“Rogers,” Natasha said as she pushed her way into Steve’s bedroom. “We have a situation. Have you seen -- oh.”

She stopped short.

Behind her, she knew, was the sleek, expansive space of Steve’s apartment in Stark Tower; filled to the brim with the latest gadgets and sturdiest furniture Stark could find for his favorite super soldier.

The door to Steve’s bedroom, however, was a gateway to a completely different time and place.

How To Woo A Winter Demon by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 6,938 | T)

Steve slept in the ice for a long, long time. Longer than anyone thought possible. For over two thousand years before S.H.I.E.L.D. found and unfroze him. Yeah, the world was different and so were his team members. Team-creatures? Steve’s not sure what the politically-correct term is. There’s a lot of things he doesn’t know. What he does is that the demon living on the seventh sub-level is hot.

The Art Of Cooking For Two by littleblackfox (complete | 92,761 | M) (reread)

“Any questions?” “Uh. What the fuck am I doing here?” Bucky offers.

Writing His Own Happy Ending by LightningStriking (complete | 25,022 | E)

Bucky Barnes is a writer. A gay erotic fiction writer to be precise. With a successful career, a questionably functioning computer, and an addiction to watching cat videos while eating Chinese food. Steve Rogers is an editor. Of many things, not least of all, Bucky Barnes gay erotic fiction. A working relationship that was working just fine for both parties. Until, after years of communicating purely via e-mail, the two men meet in person. And Bucky quickly realizes that Steve not only has a fantastic eye for detail, he's got a smile that could melt any heart, and a body any one of Bucky's fictional heroes would die to touch. A sentiment Bucky shares. So how does Bucky begin his immediate campaign to win his way into Steve's bed, and his heart? By playing to his strengths. In other words, by writing a new series of sex filled stories staring a muscle bound blond and a seductively enticing brunet. Any resemblance to actual persons purely intentional. If editing Bucky's steamy stories hadn't given Steve all sorts of inappropriate fantasies before, it certainly does now...

seapup by wearing_tearing (oneshot | 1,765 | M)

There are a lot of monsters down in the deep dark sea, Steve included. But he is not prey and he is not about to let himself be eaten.

Into That Good Night by Nonymos (complete | 73,540 | E)

Steve Rogers has lived for entirely too long—long enough to see the world's end. The heroes are gone, and the Earth is pushing what's left of mankind towards the exit.

But when a makeshift team rises from the ashes, when a mysterious presence all but drags Steve there, he begins to think there may be hope yet. As they shoot for the stars one last time, Steve will get proof yet again that the future is nothing if not an echo of the past.

Other than that, this month Mod Blue fell into an Altered Carbon shaped hole. Please send help and/or Stucky Altered Carbon AUs with happy endings.

Mod Julia

Not the Jealous Type by justanothersong (oneshot | 3,377 | G)

“Oh, I get it,” Tony said, smug little grin playing across his features. “You’re all angsty because your partner took time off to hang out with his war buddy, and you’re cooped up here doing paperwork. Is that it?”

“Did I not just say to leave it alone?” Sam huffed in response.

Places left behind by Claudia_flies (oneshot | 7,175 | E)

As Steve approaches the door of the walk-in closet, there’s a sudden growl. It’s low and defensive, and Steve freezes. He’s only wearing a towel, he suddenly realizes stupidly.

“Jarvis?” he calls out.

“Yes, sir?” comes the clipped voice of the A.I over the comms system.

“Is there someone in the closet?”

a desert in my heart and nowhere to hide by endofadream (oneshot | 3,720 | E)

Steve struggles to push himself upright, already muttering, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” and stops when Bucky’s metal hand clamps down onto the back of his neck. It’s hardly more than its usual gentle hold, but immediately Steve melts, tension leeching from his body even as his heart pounds in his chest.

Bucky draws in a ragged breath behind him. “Is that what you want?” he asks after a pause.

tutorial by belovedmuerto (oneshot | 2,362 | T)

“I’m pretty sure I’m a terrible kisser,” Steve mutters, mostly to his pencil and paper.

Still Learning Every Day by Nejinee (oneshot | 5,024 | M)

“Oh, don’t tell me you fell in love with a stripper. Come on, Steve. I’m too tired to go into Manhattan and fight some asshat for your virtue. Or would I have to dance for it?”

--

Steve loves Bucky, always has. He just never figured any other men would turn his head until he goes to a strip club and learns that it's not just women who can be strippers these days.

The Necrofloranomicon by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (complete | 47,569 | T)

Bucky didn't want much. Just to keep his head down, to sell his flowers in peace, and to stay off Shield's radar. His life would have been a lot easier if his flowers weren't dead and if being a necromancer wasn't illegal, but easy or not, he was getting by. Steve didn't want much, either. He was happy working for Shield, he had good friends, and overall his life was going just about the way he wanted it. Problem was, being happy with your life was generally an invitation for fate to throw a spanner in the works—and in Steve's specific case, it was going to be a spanner named Bucky.

Fuck Valentine's Day by jinlinli (oneshot | 4,218 | T)

Steve and Bucky's friends finally get sick and tired of their obliviousness, so they set them up on a blind date on Valentine's Day. But of course, they think it's just a prank because they're idiots.

Ex Libris by CloudAtlas (oneshot | 8,066 | T)

When the last customer has been dealt with, Steve turns to his new companion with, “Hi. I’m Steve, I’m new,” and finds a guy about his own height, with a kind smile and his long hair in a messy bun.

“Hi,” the guy says. “I’m James and I’m old.”

Stupid Cupid (you're a real mean guy) by chicklette (oneshot | 6,846 | E)

It's February and the weather in Brooklyn in shitty. So when his best friend Bucky offers Steve a week-long, all expenses paid trip to Mexico, he figures, what could go wrong? So what if it's a couples-only resort. Over Valentine's Day.

The Roommate by layersofsilence, Niitza (complete | 28,632 | T)

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

No Faraway Shore by eyres (complete | 56,906 | T)

President James Barnes has spent his career saying that the defining moment of his life was when he discovered that Steve Rogers had sacrificed himself while Bucky had lain in a New York hospital bed with only one arm.

Now, Bucky would say it was when SHIELD told him Steve was alive.

The one where Bucky is President, Steve makes friends and enemies in the future, and a wedding in the Rose Garden has to wait until Hydra is defeated again.

[thunderheadfred]

Okay so... I cannot imagine this is the kind of thing you were hoping for when you sent me this prompt - but the moment I saw #15, this was the only thing I could think of, and the idea just kept eating away at me. In some form or other, this drabble is probably going to end up being the opening scene of Midnight Blue, which uh. Starts out unrelentingly depressing. This takes place in the post-ME1 aftermath of Red Streak, so just... yeah. I’m sorry in advance. If it’s any comfort, I definitely cried a little bit while writing this, so at least I’m suffering with you.

Goes without saying, this contains heavy spoilers for Red Streak.

You can also read this on AO3, if you prefer.

Kiss Prompt #15 - a gentle “I love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss

(for @wafflesrock16 , with my sincerest apologies)

When Sovereign went down, Kithoi got the worst of it. Debris and ejecta carved a mile-wide diagonal swath across the ward arm, and the resulting ruin was indiscriminate. Offices, apartments, nightclubs, schools - all blasted to rubble. Some structures had been halved so cleanly that they stood in the middle of empty blocks like slices of many-layered desserts melting on their plates.

Days after the disaster, chunks of undead Reaper still sizzled, peppered unpredictably throughout the path of destruction. Wherever they landed, there they stayed, untouched by even the boldest black market tech scrappers. Far from inert, Soverign’s fallen body parts coughed caustic plumes of purple smoke and spat deadly rains of sparks at anyone who tried to get too close. Spec-Ops crews had been dispatched to sweep the ward clean of the dangerous Reaper leftovers, but countless scattered tons of rubble made the task painstakingly slow. Large-scale containment procedures always took time, and this clean-up had stretched official resources to the breaking point. The recovery teams were forced to pass over non-critical wreckage, leaving it to be picked over by scavengers or rot where it lay.

Unable to think of anything else to do with himself, Garrus wandered into one of the ramshackle civilian support squads. Organized by neighborhood parliaments, led by a few haggard C-Sec officers who had volunteered their off-duty hours, newly homeless citizens cleaned their own streets.

It was sweaty, thankless work - overwhelming in scale, numbing in practice. Mostly unsupervised, Garrus was left to pick through it all, forced to ignore anything he couldn’t lift. For the recycling plants, he assembled ten-foot piles of scrapmetal and eezo. He waded through jagged hull shavings as thick as his arm, recognizing the last remnants of the warships eviscerated by Soverign’s Beam. He swept glass and rerouted stagnant water mains. He incinerated bags full of clothing and children’s toys, already crunchy with ash. And he found bodies. So many bodies.

None of them were hers.

During the night cycle, when visibility was too low for recovery work, Garrus picked over the ruins and tried to find his apartment. He had lived on Kithoi for a decade and had been sifting wreckage for a week, but he still found it difficult to maintain his bearings. His customary landmark - the flashy, dirt-cheap jurum take-out place two blocks distal from his apartment complex - was now a circle of raw vacuum. Clean as a bullet, a plasma-hot shard of the Presidium had pierced through the heart of his old neighborhood and left behind a lacy, delicate ring of exposed strata. Beyond a thin sheet of transparent pressure shielding, the stars watched him. Bright and cruel and hungry, they glittered like teeth.

After several nights of fruitless exploration, Garrus was ducking under fallen girders on the promisingly familiar third story of a blown-out building. He stumbled through a slip of loose ash and his boot came down on something hollow, shattering it to pieces with a startling crack. Terrified that it was a skull, he hesitated to look.

But when he lifted his foot, all he found was a soot-black 1/144 replica of the Destiny Ascension.

He was home.

Only the vaguest top-down details remained, like an archaeologist’s reconstruction propped over a burial mound. The superstructure lingered. A single wall had survived nearly untouched, the interior support between the bathroom and his bed. Everything else was heat-blasted beyond recognizability. The panels on his kitchen cabinets, once dingy but serviceable, now peeled back in rippling sheets. The street-facing walls were hardest hit of all, transformed into tortured fists of rebar clenched around shriveled black clumps of plasticite that had once been windows.

He entered slowly, unsure of the floor.

His boots crunched over plastic and glass, over the chewed-up remains of his furniture, his television, his data-pads, his desk. He watched a thin gray powder stir around his heels, making clear, dark footprints wherever he stepped, and realized he was walking through his own ashes. Ten years of his own life, gone.

The corner of his living room that had once been dedicated to a life-long modding hobby (an obsession his sister had dubbed unhealthy) was now a foul-smelling smudge. One quick glance told him that his carefully tended supply of oil-soaked lithium had caught fire and fueled what looked to have been a sizable inferno. As usual, Solana had been right, though he imagined this particular I-told-you-so would have given her little satisfaction.

All across the apartment, model ships were strewn in unrecognizable bits and pieces - a tragicomic miniature of the numerous tragedies outside. Years of careful collecting and affectionate assembly were in that graveyard. Gifts from his mother, his sister, friends from Cipritine that he hadn’t spoken to in years. Each vessel thoughtfully assembled over long months - some had taken years. As a matter of principle, Garrus had been in the habit of cleaning the collection on a bi-monthly schedule, rotating the fleet through his spotless display cases, carefully mounting his favorites on plaques that he engraved himself.

There was only one he cared about now. The newest and cheapest, never even finished. Garrus dug through debris for a full half hour before he found the first recognizable piece of the Normandy: a three-inch fragment of her starboard hull. He tried to wipe the soot away with his thumb, to see if her colors were still intact, but the fragment crumbled through his fingers.

After that, he had little reason to stay. Desperate for anything salvageable, he made one final sweep. This time, he focused on the surviving bedroom wall, going straight for the built-in bedside storage. He wasn’t hopeful, but maybe he’d left something in a drawer. An omni-tool, a data-pad. Something. Anything. He would walk out of here with a half-melted candy wrapper clenched in his fist, if that was all he had left.

Instead, what he found winded him like a fist to the keel.

There, in a mostly-empty drawer on level with what once had been his headrest, he found a pair of pristine Alliance dog tags. Paralyzed by the sight, chest on fire, he sucked in a breath and held it to the count of ten. A mistake, surely. She must have forgotten to take them with her, last time…

Mechanically, he reached into the drawer. Picked up the dog tags. Brought them closer.

He swallowed a sick flood of bile. On one side, Jane Shepard’s name topped a short list, the insultingly dull bullet-points of a military life. Fighting the knot in his chest, Garrus turned the tags to the reverse face.

His heart stopped. No.

No accident. Shepard had left the tags in this drawer deliberately, had carefully arranged them like this in the hope of future discovery. A message. A promise. A confession. He knew all this for a fact - the evidence had just been seared into him forever like a sunspot in the back of his eye. 

Before leaving these tags in his bedside drawer, Shepard had stolen two small bottles of enamel from his model kits and meticulously filled the stripes on her identical N7 insignia with hand-painted streaks.

One red, one blue.

The room swayed. For one gut-clenching moment, Garrus was convinced the building was about to topple. To steady himself, he pressed the cool tags against his forehead. Out of sight, out of mind. He tried to blink away the nausea, but the cold touch of Shepard’s last message soaked through his plates like a soft kiss.

Blowing faintly through the dust of the room, he heard a small but terrible noise.

I love you.

A moment too late, he recognized that wretched, broken cry: his own voice. 

Silencing himself, forcing down the scream in his throat, he brought the tags to his mouth and sucked in an involuntary, shuddering breath. Cold and chemical, the familiar metallic tang of fresh-set modeling paint filled his mouth, his nose.

With that, his final vestiges of structural integrity gave way. He hit the floor in broken stages: one knee, then the other, a hip, the heel of his hand.

Until his throat blistered and his eyes burned salt-raw, until the blood in his heart grew slow with cold, Garrus Vakarian crumpled into his life’s very dust, and wept.

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

I know i have literally zero say,,,,,, but a nonbinary anatole,,,,,,,,, 🤩🤩🤩 that’s a godtier take right there ok

me: okay. one, we're nonbinary and this character is male. even though we can hit all his notes, we'll never be cast. and our body type doesn't match the character. two, we're aroace and he is a MASSIVE fuckboy. we would be super uncomfortable in the kissing scenes and slightly sexual scenes. three, is Great Comet ever going to revive. face it, brain, do you really think we'll ever play Anatole Kuragin?

my brain: mon cher

my brain: i don't consider myself bound to answer questions put to me in that tone

me:

my brain:

me:

me: MY FACE, ALREADY PALE, BECOMES DISTORTED BY FURY

[pastelacrylics]

Shutdown/meltdown vs. sensory overload vs. panic attack?

I've struggled with this one too. Its weird and hard to decipher. I tend to categorize them based on cause, outward symptoms, and severity.Sensory overload (while miserable) is what I consider the least severe. Everything feels too much but you can still function enough to leave and/or get the input to stop. This generally comes before a meltdown or shutdown.Meltdowns/Shutdowns are like realllllly bad sensory overloads, plus a level of exhaustion from communication and other people. This is a double whammy when it comes to causes, and is generally unsolvable without stimming and waiting it out. This leads to acting out or being unable to interact. Panic attacks are from anxiety attacks (a sense of dread) that just won't go away. Once it's a panic attack and not an anxiety attack, you've hit the point that you think you are dying, you can't breathe, and it feels like a freaking heart attack. Anxiety attacks are similar, heart racing and pounding, difficult breathing, but you aren't quite calling 911 over them. They are caused mainly by internal stuff, no sensory input you can just shut down. These can also lead to meltdowns or shutdowns, if its from other people and communication exhaustion mixed with anxiety, which I know they sometimes can be. I hope this helps! 

So my sister has lots of things, one being autism, and when she has meltdowns, she hits her head. Now.. Okay, it wouldn't be so bad, but she has these plastic 'Yo-Kai Watches' (if you know what those are), and she hits her head with those, and has cracked them before. I'm really worried she might hurt herself, but any reasoning I try to give she doesn't understand. Any advice on what to do?? Because I really don't want her to hurt herself...

It sounds like she is stimming during these meltdowns! I know that redirecting one urge to do a dangerous, self injurious, or destructive stim into a less bad one can help her, and ease your anxiety. Next time she starts melting down, help guide her to a soft area like a couch or bed, and she can rock and hit that instead. You can also try finding stim toys or comfort items that she likes, and it will help her use other things to self regulate when coming down from a meltdown.

If you can figure out the cause of the meltdowns (usually noise/ lights/ other easily decipherable sensory input), getting rid of and preventing the cause will also help insure this happening less.

I'm newly diagnosed so I don't know much about my autism yet, but what do autistic burnout feel like? or what are their symptoms? because I'm not sure if this is what I'm experiencing or if it's something else...

((As a mod I would personally leave this question to someone else, but I really hate leaving things blank or without an attempt because I've had so many years of being taught not to, so I guess I'll try)

Autistic burnout is the feeling of exhaustion when it comes to having dealt with many social interactions and people. Generally for me its just a lethargic feeling, and I don't want to do anything and I enter a shutdown of sorts. A lot of the time I find it is personally accompanied by an anxious feeling.

Sorry if you've already gotten a question like this before but what are the main traits for diagnosing autism?

I dont personally know a lot about professional diagnosis's, but I know that for my self diagnosis I looked at loads of research that basically boiled down into three big groups, and one "other" group.

-Social issues         This could include issues with communication or eye contact, or general         misunderstandings and a lack of real friends and connections. -Sensory issues        This includes being sensitive to noise, light, touch, taste, textures in general,         or being so insensitive that you seek out anything to enrich your life with       new/different sensory experiences. -Self stimulatory behaviors       Stimming can mean lots of different things, but hand flapping is particularly      common, as is spinning, rocking, or other "fidgets" -An "Other" category        A need for routines, executive dysfunction, and other traits that are       attributed to your autism would fall into this category. I would google any       traits you are personally wondering about, along with "autism" and see if it      falls into this category.

What is the difference between autism, ADHD, and asbugers ( forgot how to spell that sorry)??

Aspergers is no longer considered a separate diagnosis from Autism anymore, as they both fall under "Autism Spectrum Disorder", the new label under the DSM5.

Because of that, I can't tell you much about the old differences between those two, but I know that Aspies were basically just "higher-functioning" (less obvious) Autistics.

ADHD and the similar ADD, OCD, and SPD are all cousin disorders of Autism, having many (but not all) of the same traits. With ADHD in particular, it means that there will be very few social issues in comparison. Mainly, the issues will be in compulsions, hyperactivity, need for routine, easily distracted, and social issues will be confusion over not following the whole conversation. ADHD is often times accompanied by executive dysfunction, or the inability to do certain tasks, and you generally won't even understand why.

what are some examples of autistic social difficulties?

-Not being able to make eye contact (or being uncomfortable at all with it) -hyperempathy (or being able to feel what others are feeling) -general confusion -sarcasm going over your head -taking things too literally -answering people out of turn or when they aren't expecting you to -not talking when you are expected to -talking too much/ not taking turns in conversation -talking about "uncomfortable" topics (such as being very observant and talking about things you weren't told by the person and them shifting away)

Is it possible to become/appear less autistic as you grow older?

As you develop more and more coping mechanisms and stims, and learn from others what is or is not "socially acceptable" you may appear less autistic. It is part of growing up autistic in a world that doesn't entirely fit to you. This is common, but not everyone goes through it. If you appear less autistic, it doesn't mean you've become less autistic, just that you've changed how you deal with the world around you.

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

I had an epiphany regarding Natasha Pierre and the muppets of 1812. Stay tuned for potential visual aid…

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

Happy five year anniversary to my seeing the show that changed my life <3

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

sorry for sounding aggressive, i was actively in love with comet when the show closed because of him so i thought it was common knowledge. and there’s the fact that oak was responding very condescendingly and aggressively to criticism of any type (including from me!) around that time. seeing him praised as pierre given all of that + personal experience with him just pisses me off. maybe he’s changed, but i will never be able to see the show with the original cast because of his behavior lmao (and i was a huge fan of him before this happened which sucks)

Hey that is a totally valid and rightfully upsetting experience! I’m really sorry that he ruined it for you, and im also really miffed about the show closing way too soon.

I think i got defensive because when i heard about the show’s early closing, the controversy i had heard surrounded the end was the backlash over Mandy Patinkin replacing oak as pierre. I had heard a whole lot about people saying it was racist of the casting directors to pre-maturely replace a black actor with a super famous white guy because they were afraid he would underperform. And i heard that as a result, well-meaning people ended boycotting the show and, well, you know how that story ended. So my feelings about oak’s pierre have pretty much always been a result of the idea that he’s a talented and underrated actor of color who never really got a chance to show it in this role.

At least, that was how i understood it. It’s absolutely hearsay and therefore probably not the whole truth, but it was important for me that you knew where i was coming from with my defense, just as it was important for me to know where you were coming from!

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

imagine thinking oak played pierre well when he was an asshole to everyone and didn’t practice shit 😭😭 he contributed VERY heavily to the show closing and continued to trash it months after it closed. he was an entitled brat that threw a disastrous temper tantrum lmao

Imagine thinking this was public common knowledge and that it was cool to be unnecessarily condescending to a random stranger on the internet because she reblogged a meme she thought was funny?

[ace-pierre-bezukhov]

They say we are asleep until we fall in love and ive pressed that snooze button like 17 times so