#mmmmm… but really though. am i the only one who’s uncomfortable with the scene i put as my no. 1? hmmmmmmm

[deus-ex-mona]

good evening~~ here’s my very cursed(!!!) top 10 list on the most redundant [redacted] anime features off the top of my head~~

debates and disagreements welcome~

10- lxl and basketball

pointless inclusion that was pretty much just an excuse to get chiz to openly thirst over aizo. and to emphasise on just how much better aizo is at sports as compared to his poor sidekick yujiro. just male leads being male leads, ig

i mean, sure, it gave us that beautiful ball e mv, but lxl’s sporty [redacted] anime-induced hobby wasn’t worth much in general.

9- the inclusion of ⅘ of gen 2 tbh

they were pretty much just background extras for the most part, except for ken, who gets bonus moments thanks to being the male lead’s brother. heck, poor kodai doesn’t get much time to shine, despite being the adoring bf of one of the three heroines of the show. mans got more screentime either behind his camera, or as juri love flashbacks during her conversations with the jk trio.

as for the others, arisa got like 5 seconds of screentime (and 4 of them occurred in the sports fest ep, romeo ed included), and kotahina were nerfed to heck and back. they were written to be competitive and stubborn characters, so why were they portrayed to be nothing more than your average caring senpai towards hiyoko? a nd cultural festival w h e r e ? helloooooooooo~~~?

sure, the sports fest ep did give gen 2 in general a chance to show their stuff, but it was clearly more of viewer fanservice for pre-[redacted] anime fans who know and love these characters for who they truly are.

8- aizo’s “trauma reveal”

idk about you, but hiyoko does not need to know about aizo’s trauma. i mean, yeah, i totally get where ken’s coming from. as a scumbag older sibling myself, i, too, get the urge to dump lots of info about my brother to complete strangers. but. it’s just that. hiyori… really didn’t need to go “oh thank god it wasn’t real trauma. now. how can i fix him?”.

she really didn’t need to say that mans. all forms of trauma are valid forms of trauma… if that makes sense. she can’t just decide that someone’s trauma “isn’t real trauma” and then go ahead and liken it to her dislike for squid. and that includes aizo’s trauma with ladies. not cool.

on the bright side, at least aizo’s local idol boo yujiro took his trauma seriously and stood by him even as their manager had a trauma minimising session with his brother. and speaking of yujiro…

7- that someya ‘scandal’

what the heck was that ep 4 someya scandal lmao. it’s never brought up again????? not even by koichiro and tamagoro in the later episodes??? do they even know that there was a scandal about them??? bruh. what was it even there for lol. the gayze???

i mean, yeah, he’s totally the shame of the someya family for going ahead to be the less popular member of a popular idol duo, with said idol-ling being something he had received the head of said someya family’s permission for. but he had debuted without his family’s name anyway so??? does it even matter???

it would’ve actually made sense if it had a call back in a later episode, with, like, the reveal that maybe chizuru or one of the 100000 aizo stans there apparently are had leaked yujiro’s last name online in an attempt to take him down so that aizo can have a solo idol career or something. but no. it’s just never brought up again.

but before we drop the topic of yujiro like how his in-universe popularity dropped to 0 in the adaptations…

6- yujiro arrest reason

this. made. no. sense. either.

did the [redacted] anime throw darts at a dartboard of possible plot ideas to decide how the someya family side plot was going to go?? or was it decided with an online prompt generator?? or was it the result of a game of mad libs with the office crew????

like? lol? who smuggled koichiro into the bar??? and wh o let baby face yujiro into the bar??? and how did none of the staff at the bar question it?

though. wait. how the heck did hiyoko even see enough distinctive features of yujiro’s during the night that she witnessed his police encounter to identify him when they next crossed paths in the classroom? she was looking at him from above from her spot on a flight of stairs in dim lighting. just how good is her eyesight? hello?

5- repurposed yumefan

yeah yeah i k n o w the [redacted] anime staff justified their choice to use yumefan as a song to encourage hiyoko bc “it’s a song about encouraging others” and stuff. but still. yappa saikyou would probably have worked too, since it’s about not wanting to lose to your rivals and aiming to surpass the rest and stuff like that. or they could’ve just. y’know. kept nonfan in their setlist anyway if they wanted to dedicate a song to their friend(?) slash manager, since that song’s mv was the first mv that hiyoko had worked on, and thus, ✨memories✨ are there, y’know?

either way, the [redacted] anime staff saw yumefan, decided “ok it’s for women now” and had it dedicated to hiyoko and got the narumi sisters to cover it as a special ed. much wow. aizo would be proud. and speaking of aizo…

4- yuko in the countdown live

she moved to france in the lxl movie, so what is she doing here in the first place? to watch her estranged son hxld hxnds with some rando onstage? go back to france, yuko.

3- nagisa arc

the main problem i have with nagisa’s arc is how forced it felt tbh. it kinda felt like it was just. shoehorned into the plot? it just. didn’t flow well. like… especially how nagisa was completely written out of the plot after he hopped on that train. lxl had been teasing hiyoko relentlessly about nagisa till he left. then it was just like. he never existed?? excuse???

i mean. i love nagihiyo. don’t get me wrong. it’s just… the way the [redacted] anime staff plotted it into the story felt… off.

look, you see, i think the nagisa plot would’ve worked better as a season closer. like, after all that friendship drama and scandals and stuff, we get a breather in the form of the nagisa visit. he could be visiting for the countdown live, or for a christmas or new year’s visit for all i care, but it’d give the lxl + hiyoko trio, with newly strengthened bonds of friendship after all they’ve been through (thanks chiz), a chance to show off their cooperative skills with the hiyoko makeover sequence and subsequent nagisa encounter. heck, it’d even give nagisa another reason to be wary of lxl, since “aren’t these the dudes from that relationship scandal you were in? you should be more careful around them fr” could be a legit point of concern. plus! it could lead into a post-series uni timeskip or something for that sweet, sweet nagihiyo uni arc crumbs!!

hmmm. well. in the end, i still hate how nagisa’s existence was all but retconned after his episodes. poor lad. he deserves better!!! and speaking of deserving better…

2- the narumi sisters’ appearance

for sena, as she has co-starred with lxl in the past, and since she is still in the industry, it’s no surprise that she’d make an appearance or two. however, the r e a l problem is how she was handled. she was only abruptly thrown into ep 6 to fit in yet another “uwu woe is me im not cute uwu” hiyoko moment in the 24 minutes of terror. plus, those sena-mona moments make no sense whatsoever if you’re a [redacted] anime-only who doesn’t know how lxl and the narumis know each other. viewer fanservice at its finest, ig.

now. mona.

#notmymona

w h o is that girl and why does she have our angel’s name and face? i swear, the only redeeming trait she has is that her character design was done by moge, which is. yeah, much cuter than her lxl movie cameo appearance.

but aside from that. who is she? she has no goals, no ambition, all she does is go “uwu i look up to my sister who i envy… but nvm i’m here to be your relationship therapist so that’s enough about me—”

she doesn’t even get to perform in the [redacted] anime even though there was an entire joint-artiste concert in the last episode. she doesn’t even salt about her nasty encounter with yujiro (which would’ve made for a more interesting topic during her second encounter with hiyoko when they talked about conflicts with friends, instead of being demoted to a bonus manga tbh). she’s so bland, she makes plain spaghetti taste like carbonara.

and speaking of carbonara, we return to lxl for number one, which is…

1- the lxl shower scene (no image bc g o o d l a w d w h y w o u ld i include it)

they are 15. we don’t need that extended shower scene. we don’t need to know that hiyoko has no qualms about barging into the showers for the opposite gender, with said members of the opposite gender being completely nude and uncomfortable when she did so. we just. didn’t need to see any of that.

who was that scene even made for? help???? just how bad did they think their own show was that they felt the need to put in an out of place scene of teen boys showering to pad the runtime?? excuse???

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝐴𝑛 𝐼𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑆/𝑂 (𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑)

Warning: This reaction contains NSFW content that might not be suitable for some. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

❁𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Hongjoong was very well aware of how innocent you were, yet he never teased you about it nor babied you like others would. And he especially never pressured you or even brought up anything remotely sexual. He knew you'd let him know when you were ready to take that step in the relationship.

When the moment did come, he was surprised by your actions. You came into the room and straddled his lap.

"Baby? What are you?-"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence as you began kissing him hungrily, your hips grinding down on him. He was shocked by your sudden boldness, but he wasn't complaining. He kissed you back, his hands roaming down to grip your ass, taking control of your movements. You may have initiated this, but no way was he going to let you be in charge.

When your hand tried to slip into his jeans, he stopped you and smirked.

"Hold on baby. There'll be plenty of time for that later. First.."

Without warning, he got you off him and sat you down on the bed, his hands swiftly pulling your pants and panties off from you. Feeling shy again, you closed your legs, making Hongjoong chuckle.

"Not so brave anymore, are you love?"

Taking hold of your ankles, he pushed your legs apart to take in the sight of you. He had waited so long for this moment and he couldn't believe it. He got down in front of you, loving the way your cheeks turned pink and looked at him, waiting to see what he had planned.

"Don't worry baby. Just relax and leave everything to me."

He sent you a wink before he buried his face in between your legs, unable to hold back anymore. You gave him the green light and he was going to go for it.

❁𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Seonghwa loved how pure and innocent you were. It was no secret he got turned on by the thought of one day ruining you and staining your innocence, with your consent of course.

He wanted to hear you beg him to fuck you, to claim you as his and only his. He wanted you to writhe and moan underneath his body. But to get that, he had to make you want it.

That's why he often did little things to make you frustrated: whether it was by working out in front of you shirtless, caressing your sides while you tried cooking, kissing your neck more and more, whispering in your ear, and even licking off crumbs of food that got on your lips.

"What?" He'd often act like he didn't know what he was doing when you looked at him with a surprised expression.

The final straw for you was when he came back from a meeting, dressed in a suit. God how you loved it when he wore a suit, it just made him more irresistible. And you had been frustrated since the morning when he came out of the shower in a towel and his wet hair made you picture dirty scenes in your head. Gathering your courage, you suddenly blurted out:

"Seonghwa please fuck me."

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and your courage vanished, thinking maybe it wasn't the time to say that. But Seonghwa smiled, feeling accomplished of himself. He began unbuttoning his suit jacket, never taking his lust filled eyes from you as he commanded:

"Strip for me baby."

❁𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Even though he was a fearsome mafia boss, Yunho had the utmost respect for you. He loved you, adored you so much. He showed you the side of him he himself had forgotten he owned: the soft, caring and puppy like personality he was capable of showing. But it was only reserved for you and only you.

He knew you were a virgin and for that reason never even thought of overstepping any boundaries that would make you uncomfortable. 5 months later and he was still asking for permission to hold your hand.

He was elated yet scared when you told him one day that you wanted him to be your first.

"A-are you sure love? This is a big decision. I don't want you to regret anything." He voiced his concerns for you.

But after assuring him you wanted this, he gave in. He took utmost care of you, making sure to pleasure you and prep you so it wouldn't be too uncomfortable for you. He wanted you to feel safe and loved during your first time. He also made sure to shower you with praises.

"You're doing so well love. You're so beautiful."

He kept a slow and steady pace, his lips constantly kissing yours or your forehead, his hands holding onto yours as he looked down on you with love and adoration. He felt your nails claw his back and your legs wrap around his waist, your clenching walls signaling to him that you were close.

"It's ok baby, just let it go. Cum for me."

Yunho swears there's no more beautiful scene than watching your face contort with pleasure as you moan and whimper underneath him. He came inside you just seconds after, unable to hold back anymore.

But finally you were his and he was yours forever.

❁𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang lived for teasing you. He found it adorable how your cheeks would turn red every time he did or said anything mildly suggestive. Not one day went by when he didn't make you get flustered by his actions or words.

He especially loved making even the most innocent of situations turn suggestive and when you called him out on it, he'd feign innocence and instead would say you were the dirty minded one, making you get even more flustered and unable to say anything anymore.

You were in the process of baking a cherry pie one day. You wanted to make something special for yours and Yeosang's anniversary. Yeosang walked in and saw the current state of the kitchen.

"Babe. What's this?" He eyed you curiously.

"It's to make a pie." You explained as you began taking the stems off the cherries.

Yeosang chuckled as he caught you more than once popping a cherry into your mouth instead of the bowl.

"If you keep popping the cherries like that, there won't be enough for the actual pie you know."

You pouted a little.

"Can't help it. They're just so good."

Picking one up, you held it out for him to eat.

"Wanna try one?"

Yeosang couldn't pass away the opportunity. He leaned in and ate the cherry from your fingers, making sure to suck on the tip of one of them, making you widen your eyes just a bit. Clearing your throat, you asked:

"I take it you liked it?"

Yeosang hummed before responding:

"Sure.....but that's not the cherry I wanted to pop today."

He winked at you and left the room, leaving you stunned at his words.

❁𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

Every one often wondered how was it that the infamous Choi San was in an actual relationship, a serious one. And it was even more puzzling for his friends when they met you.

You were the complete opposite of San. You were such an innocent little thing, while San was known as the biggest Casanova in the mafia world. They often questioned his loyalty to you, which he proved time and time again that he was faithful to you and that he did love you. His friends were so happy to see him finally settle down, to actually love and be loved by someone.

Was it your innocence that attracted San? Partly yes. But San also knew you weren't all that innocent, at least not after you got involved with him. Everything about him is sinful, and he was bound to corrupt you sooner or later, which he loved doing.

He loved how you were currently trying to hold back your moans as he pounded into you from behind. You let your head hung low, unable to see the reflection in the mirror, blushing hard.

"Nuh uh sweetheart. Don't pretend to be shy now. You were practically begging me to fuck you when you came in dressed like that."

San grabbed a hold of your hair and made you look up at the mirror, watching as he smirked at you through hazy eyes.

"Don't deny it. Beneath that innocent face, we both know you're just my little cockslut."

❁𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Your innocent and pure nature was exactly the reason why Mingi fell for you in the first place. He remembers that moment very clearly.

He was standing all alone in the rain, his heart feeling as dark as the black night. He was in really low spirits. He saw no point in life anymore. It seemed to him as if there was nothing left in this world that was good. He just saw bad everywhere. A long life of crime often makes you think that.

Suddenly he felt the rain above him stop. He looked up and saw an umbrella held over him. Turning around, he saw you. You were on your tip toes, holding the umbrella as high as you possibly could, which wasn't easy since Mingi was a giant.

His heart melted when you smiled at him and said:

"It's too cold and unsafe to be out like this. Do you want me to walk you home?"

He was used to having people fear him, yet here you were, not afraid of him nor looking at him like he was a monster. And even after spending time with him and finding out who he was, you didn't look at him in disgust or repulsion.

He couldn't help but fall for you then. He loved you and made it his mission to keep you safe and protected from the dark, cold world he was a part of.

He especially loves coming home to you. Wrapping his arms behind you, he inhales your scent as you stir the food in front of you.

"Mingi." You call out to him.

"Mmmmm?" He mumbles, already dozing off in your embrace.

"I need to get something." You tell him.

"Hold on. Just let me stay like this a few more seconds."

But you know it wouldn't last just a few seconds. Not when his hands began roaming around your body, not when the chaste kisses he pressed to your shoulders turned more heated and he bit down on the exposed skin.

Pressing a kiss to your ear, he whispered softly:

"Let me make love to you."

❁𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Wooyoung didn't even want to attend the meeting with the other mafia boss. He knew he was a stubborn old man who never agreed to anything and always looked down at Wooyoung for being so young, though in reality he knew he just resented him for being successful at such a young age in the criminal world.

But he doesn't regret it. Not when you, the old geezer's daughter, came in for a brief moment to give dear old dad a message. Wooyoung's eyes lit up when he saw you. And you yourself were captivated by him. Having been so sheltered by an overprotective father, you rarely ever saw men your age, and especially not as handsome as Wooyoung. You were so innocent, so naive and having met Wooyoung, you wanted him to ruin you. And he was more than happy to seduce such an innocent little thing like you.

That's how your risky romance started. First with tiny notes that evolved into risky text messages, and the once stolen kisses in corners turned to love scenes in Wooyoung's bedroom.

"Look at you being such a dirty girl. What would your father say if he saw you like this?"

You threw your head back at Wooyoung's words, the thought of your father catching you both terrifying and thrilling you.

Wooyoung smirked as he felt you clench around him.

"Oh you like that don't you? Who would have thought the perfect angel was such a little whore?"

His hands gripped your waist as he thrusted his hips up at you, hitting a new angle that would have you coming in seconds.

"Go on baby, I want you to scream my name as you cum. I want everyone to know that only I can make you feel this good. That this little pussy is mine and I own it.....

I want your dad to know that I'm the one who corrupted you, my little angel."

❁𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

When his friends said they wanted to go out and have fun, this wasn't what Jongho had in mind. Even though it was common for mafia bosses to go out once in a while, get wasted, have half naked women grind on their laps, and maybe take 1 or 2 home with them, it wasn't his cup of tea. He never enjoyed these types of things.

His eyes began to scan the area before they landed on you. You were just sitting there in one of the tables, looking completely out of place. You were dressed a lot more conservatively than what the environment asked for and judging by your untouched liquor, he could tell it was your first time in these types of places. The way you awkwardly looked over at your friends was an even bigger clue.

He couldn't help it when he let out a soft smile at you, amazed by your totally innocent and quiet aura. San and Wooyoung tried to snap him out of his trance, then looking over at you, they finally understand what was wrong with Jongho.

"Hey man, if you're into girls like that, you could have just said so. I'm sure it won't be so hard to get her into bed."

Jongho glared at San's suggestion.

"I'm not a fucking pervert that just thinks about getting his dick wet like you idiots." He scoffed.

Wooyoung snorted.

"So what? Are you going to go over there? Ask her for her number and take her on a date?" He teased the younger male.

They never expected him to, but he did. And not only did he get your number and a date, but he actually started a relationship with you...... and he eventually did get you into bed with him, but to him that's just the bonus in all this.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[honeygingergemini]

Tell Me What You Want

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader 

word count: 3.1k

warnings: smut (well, my first attempt at it), tipsy maybe possibly drunk reader, male POV i’m a girl so idk if i did a good job with that bc who knows. what goes on in the male brain also poor EXTREMELY poor descriptions sorry :) 

notes: um i’ve been wanting to write for a while but i was too nervous but then this scene kept playing at my head at work so I wrote it. I had steve in mind but i honestly haven’t watched a marvel movie since 2015 which is 5years ago and not 2 years like my brain remembers it as so my memory of the characteristics steve has are very fuzzy.... also english is not my first language so there will be typos and grammar mistakes sorry in advance. also please tell me if it sucks lol I really really really love criticism because it helps me gage were i’m at and how I can improve thank you :) 

                                                          .....

“bah” the sound of my girlfriend’s raspy voice pulls me from my light drift. I look over to see her cradling her foot in her hands. Unable to keep her balance she stumbles a little bit but quickly regains her footing stretching her hands out in front of her. “What the fuck?” she whispers to herself. 

I watch her as she makes her way around our shared chambers. I take in her once perfect appearance, now seeing someone completely different. Before leaving her hair was in perfectly uniformed spirals. The peach mini dress hugged her dips and curves beautifully, complementing the soft makeup on her face, and Her thin heels guarded her pink pedicure. Now, she is completely disheveled. The once tight curls are now matted waves, the lipstick smudged against her chin coincides with the thick eyeliner rings around both eyes. Her dress has completely shifted giving me the perfect peekaboo of areola. The shoes that were once on her feet are now in her hands. As if she feels me staring, she turns and locks eyes with me. 

“I’m sorry.” she sings out in a low whisper. holding out the syllables of the word. “Did i wake up?” 

“No.” I lie. 

“Oh good, ‘cause i wanted to…” she hiccups, a dead giveaway of her current state. “... i wanted to hang out with you” she’s talking but every word sounds like a moan.  

“Hang out with me?... Are you drunk?” I smile at her. I’ve always loved seeing her drunk simply because I can’t get drunk. 

“Mmmmm… kinda” she decides. 

“Kinda? either you are or you aren’t, which one is it?” 

“Well…i’m drunk enough to not feel embarrassed by doing this” she makes quick movements of dropping her heels from her hand before straddling my lap “but sober enough that i can still do this.” she slowly begins to grind on my thighs. Though her positioning is off, by a lot, I don’t care. I can still feel blood rushing to intimate areas of my body. my usually timid girl has transformed into a confident tease. I chuckle at the performance.

“Why are you laughing when you should be fucking me?” She pouts. 

“Oh really? tell me what you want me to do then.” Suddenly her face goes blank at my request. Usually, I am in control, I tell her when and where to move at all times, but I don’t want the game to end with her submission. I want to push her to try something new tonight.

 “I....” she hiccups again, harder this time causing a physical rise and fall of her chest emphasizing the twin orbs on her chest. “... I want to feel you.”  My growing hard on is touching the side of her thigh. 

“You are feeling me.” I smile at her. 

“Uh uh, closer?” She wiggles her body, but is still grinding slow. I shift my hips up ever so slightly so she can get a taste of what she wants. 

“Mmm” she lets out the tiniest moan if you’re not paying attention you’d miss it. Of course I don’t miss it. I never miss it. She leans into me with her right arm wrapped around my neck and her left hand touching my cheek softly. Her silk lips connect with mine and it takes all the strength I possess to not kiss her back. I want to see how far her liquid courage will take her. Once she notices I'm not kissing her back she whines. 

“Baaaaaaabeeee… Why aren’t you moving?”

“You didn’t tell me to move.” I say matter of factly. she huffs. “I told you,” I brush some of the disturbed curls from her face. “Tell me what you want me to do and i’ll do it.” I shrug. 

“But…” another hiccup peaks through her slurred words. “You know… I… get embarrassed.” her glossy brown eyes gaze into mine. 

“I know baby, but let’s try something new tonight.” I try to convince her giving her small peppering kisses to her face. “Just try it and if you wanna stop we’ll stop, okay?” She leers unwavering, weighing out her options. 

“Okay.” she sighs looking away from me as if trying to release all her nerves. “... What do I… you know… what do I say?” she fumbles with my fingers as a cashmere cat grin spreads across my face. 

“You say whatever you want…” I rub my thickset hands over her hips for added comfort. “Say anything you want me to do to you.” I kiss the corner or her mouth. Quick and soft. Not giving her too much, but just enough to hopefully spark some encouragement for her to begin speaking. She lets out another nerve breath before looking me in the face. It’s almost like she’s studying my face trying to see how serious I am. 

“Kiss me.” With that command I quickly lock our lips with firm pressure. 

“Slowly.” she murmurs through her lips. I slow my approach, taking my time with her lips. I create light suction around her bottom lip causing her to shift on me. I want to touch her so badly, but she only instructed me to kiss her. Nothing more, nothing less. She pulls away from me with her chest rising and falling quickly. 

“Add tongue?” it comes out less like a command and more like a question, but I give her a little leeway since it’s her first time. With my burly hands fisted at my sides I lift my body slightly. Once aligned perfectly, I kiss her again softly. I ran my tongue over her lips still puckered and pushed my body up before allowing my tongue to invade her mouth slowly. Another soft moan is released from her and I feel my nails digging into my palm. 

Let me touch you. 

She begins moving her hips again, her chest pushes into me with every deep breath she takes. 

“Kiss me from my lips to my spot.” 

“You have to be more specific than that.” I grunt with our lips still attached. She lets out a frustrating groan. 

“I want you to kiss me on my neck.” Her tone has changed. It’s a mix between exasperated and needy. I change direction and add my wet lips to her neck but not where I know she wants me. 

“Baby… lower” 

“Here?” I string out the teasing. 

“No. Here.” she moves my head to the space directly above her collarbone decorated by a tattoo. Before I could kiss the spot another command came through. 

“Suck no kiss.” Her facade crumbles and her native accent makes an appearance causing me to get more frustrated. She still hasn’t told me to touch her. Still complying to her demands, I suck her most sensitive spot. Hard. Her hands are now all over my midriff feeling me through my shirt. 

“Arms up.” She wheezes. I immediately lift my arms up allowing her to remove my shirt. My arms fall back to where they were by my sides. My favorite girl increases the pressure at which she’s moving her hips. The roles reverse and now she’s kissing all over me. Her lips sloppily move from my jaw to my shoulder to my pierced nipple. My jaw locks and my fists tighten. As a result of a lost bet I had to get the piercing and wear it for a year. There were times I hated that thing. This was not one of those times.

“Touch me.” she swirls her tongue around my jeweled nipple. Excitement ripples through my veins. 

“Where?” It comes out breathy but she didn’t mind. She smiles at me clearly feeling more comfortable. 

“Anywhere you like baby.” and with that I flipped her over trying to touch all parts of her body at once. My hands introduce themselves to her breast with a firm squeeze. My left hand goes down to now introduce itself to her warm center. I run her hand over the clothes spot a couple of times as if asking her to let me in. My thick skinned digits slide their way past the barely there material cupping her cunt. I can feel her lips burning an imprint to my hand. She feels warm. The smoothness of her body always takes me by surprise, even though I've felt her body just like this a million times before. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me to touch you since we’ve started.” 

“You should’ve asked…” my hands dip into the warm honey pool between her legs toying with her arousal causing her to pause. “... so i could give you my permission.” she smiles up at me. It’s shocking. She actually likes the control that she has. She brings my head back to her mouth and our lip match begins again. In making sure to take my time I circle her clit slowly. Agonizingly Slow. My fingers dance around her heated velvet opening just barely connecting with her special nub, but she moans as if i’m fucking her and I feel triumphant. It’s almost impossible to get her to make noise. She’s a quiet lover. My quiet lover. 

                                                        •••

She turns to look at me as if I have two heads. 

“Why would you ask me that?” She turns her face in embarrassment. “I…. I do like everything we do… in bed” She mumbles her last syllables quietly as if anyone else but me is listening. 

“So then my question stands, why don’t you ever make any noise?” my hands run along her thighs that are straddling mine. She starts playing with my fingers so I know she’s uncomfortable. 

“Well,..... it’s that…” she huffs. “I don’t like to be too loud… what if i don’t sound… nice….or what if the neighbors hear me?” 

“Then they’ll know you’re getting fucked by good dick.” 

“Stop, i’m serious.” she smiles lightly smacking me. “What if they hear me and see me the next day it’ll be so…” she immediately stops as I thrust upwards towards her heated core. 

“It gives me motivation when i hear that i’m pleasing you….” While continuously grinding into her sensitive spot I bring my lips to her neck. “I need tangible evidence of what I do to you. I need to hear…” she inhaled slowly as I bit down. “... you moaning.” I take a seat back looking directly into her warm eyes. 

“I need to hear that i’m pleasing you, okay? Can you do that for me?” she quickly nods in response. “Use you words baby.” 

“Uh-uh Yes, yes i can do that for you.” 

“ Good, now make some noise for me.” 

                                                           •••

The flashed memory paired with the withering body audibly moaning underneath me was enough to set me off. I want to be inside her now. But I haven’t been given permission. 

“Speed up just a little bit babe, you’re doing great” her words slip through her pants and I oblige. It was all too much, electric shocks found their way to my southern head making it twitch with agony. I wanted to feel her around me. 

“Stop.” she moans. Confused, I simply look up at her while continuing my assault. 

“Baby… stop.” she asks again. I really wanted to continue, the pressure in the base of my stomach was not helping my case either, but this was my idea to begin with so again I followed directions. My hands leave her damp frame and await further instructions. Her eyes flutter open glazed with desire. A fire ignites within me starting at the abdomen and quickly spreading to the other parts of my anatomy. 

“Undress for me please.” she licks her lips slowly staring directly into my eyes. Her eyes. One of my favorite things about her. She doesn’t understand why I love them so much. She calls them her boring browns but they’re so much more to me. Those boring browns are so intense the first time she looked at me I couldn’t look away. They pulled me and never let me go. I remove my shorts under her magnetic gaze. Her intense gaze sinks to the member between my legs. 

“Sit down.” her eyes unwavering from my dick as I take a seat on the divan sofa parallel to the bed. 

“Touch yourself for me.” The request makes me smile. I shift bringing my hips forward, widening my legs. I take my time taunting her by doing what she says but not quite. My hands run along my thighs feeling my skin under my rough palms and she laughs. 

“I know exactly what you’re doing baby…” she starts shifting on the bed removing her panties but leaving her dress in disarray across her body. “And that’s fine. The longer you play around is the longer you have to wait to touch me.” she gives a sinister closed lip smile before gently tracing her fingers around her clit. Her eye contact with me remains strong as she adds more pressure to satisfy her needs. She sits up slightly creating a sight to see. Her legs are spread wide enough to perfectly accommodate my bulky frame, almost as if set in place by muscle memory. Her left hand is fondling her sweet bits while her right arm is outstretched behind her slightly bent attempting to hold her body up. Her face. I want that face ingrained so deeply into my mind that it will be the last thing I remember before I die. With her head lifted to the ceiling her sweet melodies flow bouncing off the walls of the room.

“Come on, I need you baby.” She brings her head down to look back at me. My jaw clenches watching her dip two fingers into her warm opening. “My fingers don’t feel like yours.” Her left hand is toying with her right nipple while her right is finding a steady rhythm. 

“No matter what I do my hands will never feel as good as you do.” She lets out a breathless moan and I can feel my self control dwindling. “No one can make me feel as good as you do… Not even myself.” 

“Mmm... Steve please” the sound of my name leaving her lips stilled me. “Please play with your dick... Please baby.” That is enough to send me into overdrive. I’ve never heard her speak like this. It’s rare to get a serious moan from her when fucking so to have her say this to me, to have her talk dirty like this... it’s different. I think i enjoy it. I reach my base and wince from the contact. I lift my extended piece to my stomach then back down to my thighs a couple times as if to wave hello.

“Fuck.” I whisper under my breath, moreso to myself. “Fuck, baby, this is what you like?” my fingers enclose my head in a tight grip to mimic the suction of my girlfriend. She nods her head frantically, still assaulting her pussy. 

“yeah? You gonna let me fuck you?” I grunt through passionate strokes. “You gonna let me make you feel good?” I look up at my love and she looks as if she is in a trance. My eyes follow hers to my dick and a shutter moves through me. I watch my hands as if they are not my own. My fingers cup around the head and create small semi circles, “uuhh-huh  f-fuck.” 

“Don’t cum.” she glares at me with dark eyes sitting up and crawling towards me. “I want you to cum inside.” Before I could move to her, she’s on top of me. Straddling me running her fingers through my hair. “You’ve been such a nice boy for me.” The praise makes my dick jump and she feels it. 

“Oh.”she breathes out. “Do you like it when I compliment you baby? I thought you said you didn’t need that?” I did say that. When we first started dating she was very vocal about all the things she loved about me making sure I knew. I would do the same for her because I know she needs that but words of affirmation became a little too much for me. Or so I thought. 

“I…” The words become lost on my tongue as a cross between a moan and a grunt leaves my lips as I feel her rub her pussy across my dick.

“How does it feel?” Her voice is husky, it holds a certainty i’ve never witnessed before tonight. A sharp pain shoots from my pec to the base of my cock. She twisted the jeweled nipple. “I asked you a question, be a good boy and answer me.”

“I-I-It feels-s s-so good.” My hands are on her hips now, following her rhythm. “So fucking good.” I didn’t have time to be embarrassed by my stutter because she aligns me with her sweet opening. She stills for a beat before slowly slipping me into her paradise. Groans from the pits of our stomach arise and she begins to move. It's slow at first, her small whimpers slipping through my labored breath, but something changes. She picks up the speed as she rotates her hips in a way that is sinful. I can sense that she’s getting tired but she holds out for me and my heart swells. 

“You’re doing so good, angel.”  My praise causes her to look me in the eyes. She’s getting to the end of her rope and whenever she ready to hand it back over to me, I’ll happily oblige. I roll my hips up to meet her and a soft sob leaves her lips. 

“Okay,” she sighs out “I’ve had my fun, use me please.” 

I plant my feet firmly beneath us and begin to raise my hips in sharp deliberate strokes. A string of curse words leaves her lips in a hushed whisper. My sweet girl doesn’t want me to hear. My sweet girl. 

“You feel so fucking good.” It’s crazy. No matter how many times I fuck her, it always feels brand new with her. Her body jerks over mine and I know she’s close. I’m right behind her. I lean back and allow my digits to caress her clit. She lets out a moan I’ve never heard as her body spasms around me, her walls grip my dick as if to say please don’t leave. And I don’t. I push myself deeper into her pussy and she lets out another pornographic moan which prompts me to cum. She trembles, gripping my arms and bringing our bodys close. We still, the only movement being the rapid rise and fall of our chests. 

“Oh my god.” She whispers. I pull at her hair lifting her head from my shoulder and scan her face. Her makeup is chaotically misplaced, hair is glued to her forehead, a dazed look is in her eyes. She looks beautiful. I suppose I said those words out loud because a loopy grin adorns her face. That one dimple in her right cheek that I love so much makes an appearance before a thank you slips past her lips to reach my ears. 

“You’re welcome baby.” I kiss her forehead before pulling her close to me again.

[shitty-marvel-fan732]

Boyfriend?

Author’s Note: 

Hello my friends! This is my first ever Loki x Reader oneshot, so I hope I didn’t do too poorly! This fic was beta-read by the wonderful @twentytwohearts​! 

If you end up liking this fic, let me know with a comment or reblog! I am taking requests for Loki as well as several other marvel characters, and if this fic inspires you, feel free to send one in!

Summary: Y/N and Loki have been getting closer for several weeks, but he’s still very ambivalent about their relationship status. Toss in a Stark party and an over eager fan and what will happen? 

IDEK y’all, I’m shit at summaries. Just…read it lol. 

“Mmmmm,” I hummed non-committedly as some older man in a suit more expensive than my entire life was worth continued rambling on next to me. I shifted uncomfortably in the ridiculous heels that Wanda had insisted I wear tonight, mentally groaning at the way they pinched my toes. I could already feel the blisters forming over the calloused soles of my aching feet.

 I was stuck at one of Tony’s famous parties, forced into a dress and heels by an overly zealous Sokovian, and hating every second. To add insult to my injury, I’d been caged into a conversation with one of the most boring, awkward men I’d ever met in my life. I couldn’t be sure exactly how long it’d been, but I did know it had been too long. I’d been subjected to literal torture, on multiple occasions, and even so I was sure this was worse. 

He seemed innocuous enough at first – albeit very awkward. He was thin and tall, with a slightly receding hairline and an air of a man that made more money than I could possibly fathom. As soon as I unintentionally made eye contact with him from across the crowded room, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He immediately made a beeline over to me with all the excitement and grace of an overexcited labrador puppy. He’d launched into conversation instantly, chatting eagerly about my abilities and past as if he had lived it himself. It was more than a bit creepy really how many details he knew about me and my life. 

At first, I was polite – smiling and nodding along with him as he animatedly spoke, all the while internally wishing to be literally anywhere else. I supplied as little as possible to our little chat, desperately hoping he would run out of steam and leave. But after what felt like hours, it was clear he wasn’t going to take the hint. I finally determined it’d been long enough, so I tried to gracefully leave the conversation. 

Unfortunately, all my attempts  fell on deaf ears. Though I was certain any sane person would’ve understood how uncomfortable I was based solely on body language, the eager man was evidently unaware of my obvious attempts to end our interaction, verbal or otherwise. He was either the most socially inept dude to have ever lived or the most persistent fan I’d ever encountered. Personally, I was beginning to think it was a bit of both, but regardless I was more than ready to leave politeness behind and tell him point-blank to fuck off. If it hadn’t been for Tony’s lecture beforehand about not doing exactly that, I probably would have done it already. 

Eyes scanning the room, I desperately looked for a way out of the encounter. After a few seconds my eyes fell upon Steve’s sympathetic gaze. 

Cap and I had known each other for a long time, and he knew as well as I did that if I didn’t find a socially acceptable way out soon that I’d resort to less than polite tactics to remove this dude from my side. He nodded once at me in understanding, before excusing himself from his own conversation and disappearing into the crowd. 

“So, I don’t know if I’d mentioned it or not yet, but you look really really good tonight,” the red-faced man standing next to me said loudly, pulling my attention away from Cap. Though internally I was screaming, I simply shot him a polite thin-lipped smile. 

“You did. Thank you once again,“ I replied shortly. He had, in fact, mentioned this multiple times tonight, and I was beginning to feel my patience run dangerously thin. He was evidently not fazed by my facial expression nor the irritated tone of my voice, and only smiled wider at my response. 

Fortunately for me, his next comment was cut off by the sudden presence of another body pressed to my back. At first I tensed, unsure of the contact, but felt myself relax as I recognized the familiar feel of leather armor-clad arms wrapping themselves securely around my waist. 

“I’ll never understand how you mortals can have spoken a language your entire lives and still not have an adequate grasp over its use,” Loki interrupted smoothly, breath fanning my ear as he spoke. I had to bite down on my lower lip to keep from laughing at the look on the poor man’s face as he realized who was standing behind me. 

” I– uhm. I’m sorry, what?“ the man stuttered out, confusion and fear overtaking his features. 

“Good. You said my dearest Y/N looked ‘really good’ tonight,” came Loki’s smooth reply. “Now, perhaps there is some kind of midgardian norm that I am unaware of, or maybe you have some sort of deficiency that’s affecting your eyesight? Nevertheless, I would feel remiss if I did not mention how many different adjectives there are to describe Y/N at this moment: radiant, elegant, sublime, exquisite, just to name a few among the many there are. Hundreds more I’d wager, but of all the words in the dictionary you chose ‘good’? Hm.”

The man’s face visibly paled as the Prince spoke, and I could feel the irritation and possessiveness seeping from his body with each word he spoke. His body tensed against my back and I could instantly tell that he was growing angry and impatient with the man before us.  My hands came to rest over the tops of his; I began gently rubbing soft circles into his flesh in an effort to soothe him. Though I secretly adored the praise and affirmation of his feelings, I’d promised Tony not to cause a scene, and I was certain that promise extended to Loki as well. I’d spent the better part of my evening desperately trying to be good, and I’d be damned if I was going to let all that effort go to waste simply because a certain dark-haired Asgardian couldn’t control his temper. Thankfully, I felt the tall god lean slightly into my touch, his tense form relaxing gradually.

“I’m so sorry…I had no — I didn’t know that he was your…that you were his…” the man floundered and I began to feel a twinge of pity for his clear distress. 

“Boyfriend?” I supplied with a small chuckle. The man nodded frantically, however his reaction was overshadowed by the Asgardian behind me. I felt Loki tense in response to my words, and I turned my head to see his beautiful face distorted into a grimace.

Of course. 

I’d been so thankful for his presence I’d clearly forgotten about his seeming discomfort with the label. Loki clearly despised the term, and never failed to make his feelings known.Though in the past months I’d grown exceptionally close to the god of mischief, he and I had never truly spoken about our 'relationship’. 

  Much to Loki’s discomfort, I often referred to him as my boyfriend. In turn he referred to me as “dear Y/N,” “my pet,” “love,” or something of the like. Though it didn’t bother me at first, I was beginning to feel very insecure at his seeming inability to label our relationship. Each time the word was brought up he always reacted just as he was now: visibly uncomfortable and dismayed. 

With every scowl, every look of disgust I felt a tiny pang in my heart that was only growing larger with each instance. Tonight was no exception, and I felt my face physically drop in response to his reaction. My palms began uncomfortably sweating, and I detangled myself from his arms as nonchalantly as possible. My thoughts were clouded with a haze of disappointment. The room began to feel too busy – the voices all seeming to scream directly into my ear and the air thick and suffocating. 

Suddenly feeling ill, I muttered an excuse and began to walk away from the two. No longer caring about how I was seen, I walked quickly through the crowd of people and out into the hallway. I braced myself against the wall as I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. My head was spinning with disjointed thoughts as I took deep breaths of the cool air. I pulled the God-forsaken heels from my feet roughly, desperate to give myself some degree of comfort as I slowly came back to reality. I leaned my head against the wall in exhaustion – my mind practically screaming taunts of embarrassment and shame. 

When Thor had first arrived unannounced to the tower with the trickster in tow, the team and I had been largely skeptical. However, in time Loki proved himself to have indeed been “rehabilitated,” and after a while Steve and Tony had allowed him to start going on missions with the team. Slowly but surely the two of us began to bond; at first it was over his fascination with my abilities and our mutual love of literature, but as the weeks went by I found myself developing feelings I didn’t quite understand for the lanky god. To my extreme surprise, I began to feel that my affections were reciprocated. The last few weeks had been wonderful– the two of us had fallen into a natural rhythm of spending time together, both on missions and otherwise.

Reflecting back on our time spent together, I felt the tiny pang of insecurity grow larger in my chest, filling me with feelings of shame and embarrassment. Clearly, Loki didn’t feel the same about our relationship as I did, if it could even be classified as such. And why should he? He was a Prince – a literal god – and I was just a lowly mortal. I was a fool. A pitiful, lovestruck girl that fell for someone who would never love her the same. It was depressing really. I chuckled humorlessly as I realized how sappy and teen-novelesque my situation had become. 

“Love?” his voice drifted into my ears, effectively pulling me out of my thoughts for the moment. I kept my head hung low and eyes trained on the floor. The knots in my stomach tightened their grip at the usually welcomed sound of his voice. My mind only raced faster as he approached me and my heart beat wildly out of control. 

I felt familiar, soft fingers hook their way under my chin as Loki gently lifted my face to meet his. His expression was one of irritation – likely lingering from the interaction with that insufferable businessman – but his green-blue eyes swam with a much gentler sort of feeling. Though he rarely showed true emotion on his face, his eyes were a different story. Impossibly deep and full of secrets, they always betrayed his true feelings. I’d become close enough to the lanky god in the past weeks that I was able to decipher those emotions with stunning accuracy. Currently, his eyes exuded feelings of concern and affection. 

“Are you alright?” he questioned gently. I exhaled lightly. 

“I’m fine.” I muttered, eyes turning downwards once more. Loki’s eyes sparkled with slight amusement as one of his brows quirked upwards. 

“So bold of you my dear, to attempt to withhold the truth from the god of lies,” he teased, lips curling into a lopsided smirk. 

All the feelings of embarrassment and shame abruptly shifted within me at the sight of his smug face. Internally, my overwhelming sadness was turning to anger and resentment quicker than I could control. 

“I’m not lying!“ I snapped, brows furrowing and body practically jumping away from his. His expression morphed from amused to concerned instantly, forehead crinkling in confusion. 

“Is this about that infuriating man back there?” he questioned, confusion and worry evident in his tone. “If so, please don’t trouble yourself any longer over the matter. I think I’ve made it perfectly cle–”

“He was sweet Loki,” I grumbled stubbornly, cutting him off. Although I had absolutely no desire to return to a conversation with him, the man was clearly well-intentioned. I’d actually forgotten all about him – but I couldn’t stand to hear Loki make some excuse for my poor mood.

He recoiled slightly at my display of irritation, surprised. I’d never interrupted him before and it was obvious he was even more perplexed than before with the unexpected outburst. Never one to show weakness, his face abruptly shifted to his typical expressionless mask. 

  “Sweet? You didn’t seem to think so whilst he was harassing you before, now did you?” he questioned cooly. “I know your face well enough by now, dearest Y/N, and your eyes were practically screaming for assistance.”

I scoffed, arms coming to rest petulantly across my chest. 

“Well if you know me as well as you claim, then by all means you should have no problem understanding why I’m upset,” I huffed, hoping he took the bait and simply asked why I was upset. Instead, I was infuriated as I watched a sly grin make its way across his handsome features. 

“But I thought you weren’t upset sweetling?” he grinned. He looked extremely proud of himself – clearly ecstatic to have coerced me into admitting that I’d lied, even though he’d known so since the start. 

Ordinarily I adored his intelligence – delighting in hearing the inner workings of his mind – but right now his display of wit combined with the smug expression he was sporting made my fists tingle with the urge to punch him straight in the face. I could feel my face burn red with anger at the sly remark and my eyes narrowed into near slits. 

“Oh, shut up Loki,” I snapped. “Clearly, we both know I’m pissed." 

"Then by all means, please enlighten me, because I evidently don’t understand,” he taunted. Though his words were laced with his trademarked contempt, I could see the twinge of concern still evident in his eyes. The small indication that he seemed to care about me caused all the feelings of sadness and insecurity to bubble back up to the surface. I sighed, taking a breath to steady myself before deciding to just dive right into what was sure to be an extremely awkward conversation.

“I don’t understand you! Or – I guess – I don’t understand us. What we are. I mean, are you ashamed of me because I’m not from Asgard or something? Or do you just not feel the same way I do? Oh god, I’ve completely misinterpreted everything haven’t I? I’m so stupid, I–” I babbled quickly, words slurring together with speed and face flushing. 

Loki’s soft hands came to rest on my arms, effectively cutting off my panicked ramblings. His facial expression was a strange mix of pity, fear, and confusion that I’d never seen before. I felt tears begin to prick the corners of my eyes and a burning sensation overwhelmed my sinuses. I cast my eyes downward once more, suddenly filled with self-pity and feeling extremely exposed. Loki was having none of that – his gentle fingers came to rest under my chin, pulling my face back up to meet his gaze once more. 

“Why in all the nine realms would you think I don’t feel the same?” he mused softly, brows dipping lower with concern and fingers gently caressing my face. “Have I not made my affections clear?”

“Well, you tell me, Loki. When we’re alone I think I know where we stand, but then there are incidents like tonight that make me think differently. I mean, you visibly cringe when I refer to you as my boyfriend…" I started, frown deepening at his visible recoil at the term. “See! Just like that, what is that? Do you not consider us together? Are we not, oh god, I dunno exclusive?”

Loki sighed, removing his hands from my face and rubbing his face tiredly. He looked like a parent exasperated with their child. Though I was pretty sure that wasn’t his intention, the small action reignited the spark of anger and resentment I’d felt before, and the overwhelming urge to punch him in his stupid handsome face returned abruptly. 

“You know what, whatever. I don’t care what you refer to me as anymore Loki. Better yet, just don’t refer to me at all,“ I spat, turning angrily on my heel and stomping away. 

I didn’t make it more than a few steps before I felt a hand on my bicep and I was twirled back around. Suddenly I was chest to chest with an extremely pissed off looking god. Never one to back down from confrontation, I glared definantly into his face. His eyes were almost eerie, a stormy mix of blue and green that reminded me of a sea just before a hurricane. His expression was nearly unreadable as his face searched mine – mouth set in a thin line and dark brows furrowed in anger. 

“You truly think so little of me and of yourself that you assume that I am embarrassed by you?” he practically seethed. “Darling, I could never and will never be embarrassed by your presence in my life. Do not mistake my reluctance to use trivial, midgardian terms as a reluctance to share my infatuation with you.”

My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, silently urging him to continue since I clearly was not understanding what he was getting at. He exhaled loudly, hand leaving my arm to run through his inky locks in another show of exasperation. 

“I don’t understand,” I muttered, still hoping to prompt him into further explanation. His eyes seemed to soften marginally as they swept over my face. I was beginning to feel nearly uncomfortable under the god’s heavy gaze, but (as was usually the case) I also felt the all too familiar feelings of butterflies in my lower belly that only Loki’s attention seemed to stir. After an immeasurable length of time, he sighed once more, soft fingers parting from his sides to come to rest on my body. One of his hands reached down to latch onto the curve of my waist firmly. He pulled our chests flush with one another gently. The other fluttered delicately to the side of my face, thumb rubbing small circles into the soft flesh. My own palms came to rest across the smooth planes of his armor-clad chest – an action my body took without having to consult with my mind first. 

“Dearest, I think I should first apologize for the way my actions have made you feel,” he started gently, voice low in tone and volume and words practically dripping with affection and remorse as he looked down at me. “Never in all the time I’ve spent with you have I noticed any signs of your discomfort; if I had, we would’ve had this discussion much sooner.”

I swallowed thickly, unsure of where he was going with this. Though I wanted him to get on with it and just tell me how he felt, part of me wished I’d never brought the subject up to begin with. Feelings of indecision and doubt made their home in the pit of my stomach as I waited impatiently for him to continue. 

“As you know I often, shall we say, struggle to make sense of the customs and norms here,” he continued. “Though I’ve read vast amounts on the subject, I can’t seem to quite grasp the ‘normal’ way of life here – especially when it comes to your people’s courting traditions.”

I felt my wrinkled brows quirk upwards in surprise, not expecting the conversation to turn this way. My heart hammered so loudly in my chest with anticipation, I was sure he could hear it. If he could, he didn’t let it show. His gaze never wavered from my own – grey-blue eyes swimming with vulnerability as they surveyed my face. 

"As you’d probably expect, things are done much differently on Asgard. What you refer to as 'dating’ we call 'courting’, and the expectations and labels wildly differ. We call our partners  'Kærasti’ when speaking of them to others and 'elskan mín' when speaking with one another. Both of which translate loosely to 'my darling loved one’,” he explained softly. 

A short intake of breath nearly brought me out of the trance I’d felt like I’d been under the entire time Loki had been speaking. His gentle words and piercing gaze had been almost hypnotic; I’d spent the better part of the last few moments wholly enthralled by the smooth timbre of his voice, savoring the affection he radiated with each word. The words  'elskan mín' filtered its way through my ears into the fog that was . Though still foreign to my ears, I knew I’d heard the phrase before. 

“And, if I’m correct, the customary term for partners on this realm is 'boyfriend/girlfriend’?” he questioned gently. I nodded dumbly, still in too much of a daze to properly form words. “Ahh, and you see therein lies my problem. Why should I devalue my feelings for you with such a loose, meaningless term? I much prefer the ones used back home. Terms that are more…descriptive of the state of our partnership.”

I was still moderately struggling to process what was being said, my mind consumed mostly of observations on his voice and eyes. But as I struggled to decipher his words, a realization struck me like a bullet. I suddenly realized where I’d heard the term 'elskan mín' before. It was in another lovestruck trance, memories a million miles away from this dimly lit hallway that my ears had picked up the endearing phrase for the first time. 

Spoken in hushed murmurs by the very same god that was explaining the meaning to me now. 

Spoken to me.

A blush began to creep its way up my neck at the stark realization, mortification the likes of which I’d never experienced before crashing over me like a tsunami. Whether he truly was a mind reader (I hadn’t ever been truly convinced that he wasn’t) or if my reddened face and sheepish expression had alerted him to my obvious embarrassment, he seemed to understand immediately. The hand that had been softly caressing my hip gave me a small squeeze of encouragement. Even with the affectionate gesture, the urge to bury myself as deeply into the floor as possible was still raging in my chest. 

“Oh,” I squeaked. His eyes sparkled with amusement and his lip curled into his dazzling smirk. 

“I gather, based on your reaction tonight, that you made the incorrect assumption that I was – what – disgusted by the idea of a monogamous relationship?” he asked plainly, getting straight to the point. Once again I nodded silently, my mind still too overworked to speak.

My face was burning with embarrassment, and I buried my head into his chest in a vain effort to hide from his amused gaze. Loki chuckled – the vibrations reverberating through his body and tickling my face. I couldn’t see his expression from my position, but I could picture it perfectly in my mind. The skin around his eyes was very likely crinkled from the size of his smile and his eyes a bright, clear blue lit brightly with a sparkle of amusement. The mental image alone was enough to send happy butterflies swirling around in my stomach, despite the lingering embarrassment. His arms left my sides as he chuckled – one closed itself around my back, pulling me securely against his chest, and the other came to rest on the base of my neck. His long fingers gently entangled themselves in the hair at the base of my head. His cheek found its home on the crown of my head, and I could feel his smooth lips gently place a kiss there. I shivered lightly at the sensation, embarrassment fading a marginal amount at the comforting embrace. 

“Well, as thoroughly enjoyable as I find your sheepish state, I think we should clarify things,” he murmured softly against my hair. I hummed in agreement, waiting for him to start. 

“My love, I truly am sorry that I ever made you doubt the feelings I have for you,” he whispered, causing yet another blush to break out across my face. “But I hope it’s enough that I tell you now. I am so infatuated with you, my dear Y/N, I do not care to hide that fact from anyone. I would tell anyone the same – especially irritating men like the one you were chatting with tonight. The hesitation you perceived has absolutely nothing to do with my affections for you, nor does it indicate a desire to be free from labels. I simply loathe the overly simplified, descriptionless terms that are the norm on this planet. But if it makes you happy, I’m sure I can –”

“No!” I blurted, cutting his next statement off completely. My head rose from its place nestled in Loki’s strong chest and my hands balled into fists atop the thick armor covering his chest in an effort to gain his attention. My eyes searched his, and based on the surprise and confusion evident in his pale blue irises, I would wager that I looked at least a little crazy in this moment. It wasn’t like me to interrupt him while speaking and this was the second time in mere hours that I’d done so. My neck warmed marginally as I spoke up, the now familiar feelings of embarrassment rising within me once more as I looked upwards at the amused expression on Loki’s handsome face. I shoved the embarrassment back down, steadying myself with a deep breath before I spoke. 

“Sorry. I just – I don’t want you to change the way you act around me, at all,” I stammered, confidence deflating slightly as I realized I didn’t actually quite know what I wanted to say. He wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion, eyes roaming across my reddened face in search of answers. “I mean, it’s okay with me, whatever you choose to refer to me as. As long as I’m the only one you refer to.”

His face broke out into the devilish smirk that made my knees go weak. I suddenly had slight trouble standing upright. Luckily for me, his strong arms were still wrapped around my frame, and he had no qualms about holding me tighter in his embrace. He pulled me closer to his body with one arm as his other snaked its way up to the side of my face. Loki’s thumb rubbed gently across my mouth as we gazed at each other, making my head go cloudy with memories of his smooth lips pressed against mine. He leaned down so close to my face that I could feel the warmth across my lips from each breath he took. The feelings of affection and anticipation curled themselves in my belly with such intensity that I almost missed his soft voice as he replied. 

“Are you sure elskan mín?” he whispered, tone teeming with an off-character level of uncertainty. Though his voice made him seem unsure his body reacted as it always did when we were alone.  His lips were so close to mine now that I could feel them brush teasingly against me with each tender word. I felt my brain short-circuit at the brief touch. Though there was still so much to be said, so much to discuss, I couldn’t handle the irritating distance between us for another second. So I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled his lips down to mine in lieu of a response. My fingers traced aimless patterns across the smooth planes of his sharp jawline as our lips tangled in an all too familiar dance. 

Though we’d shared more than our fair share of kisses in the past months, this one felt different somehow. Each place his hands touched felt like they left a trail of fire in their wake and the way his lips moved against mine felt almost possessive. My entire being felt like it was floating on pure air as we kissed, and I felt extreme disappointment when I had to pull back to breathe. Evidently, Loki did not share my need for oxygen, and he continued to place small kisses across my face. Through my labored breathing and the love-filled haze that was clouding my thoughts I was still able to internally swoon at the sweet action. Typically, Loki was just as he appeared to be: calm, self-assured, and reluctant to express his affection, lest he become vulnerable. But it seemed that he wasn’t too concerned with showing his vulnerability at the moment, and the feeling of his soft lips roaming across the skin of my face and neck caused the butterflies in my belly to swarm with glee. 

Eventually he slowed his affectionate attack, and his forehead came to rest against mine. We stood like this for an immeasurable amount of time, eyes closed, neither of us speaking a word as the muffled sounds of the party filtered in from the hall. I smiled, elated as my eyes fluttered open and I drank in my favorite sight – Loki, at his most exposed. His eyes were still closed, breathing slightly ragged, a small but genuine smile gracing his thin lips, and the normally creamy skin of his cheeks blotchy with patches of pink. There was no greater feeling in this world than seeing him in such an utterly blissful state and knowing I was somehow lucky enough to have been the cause. 

“Yes.” I whispered gently, hesitant to break the peaceful cocoon that we’d encased ourselves in. Loki’s eyelids opened lazily, revealing the pale blue color that I’d come to dream about. 

“Yes?” he repeated questioningly. I giggled lightly at the look of slight confusion that painted the handsome god’s features. 

“Yes, I’m sure,” I explained patiently. A flash of understanding passed his face at the statement, and his face broke out into yet another knee-buckling smile. He leaned his head down towards mine – no doubt about to capture my lips in a sweet kiss. Though my body was screaming against the movement, I ducked my head backwards to avoid his kiss. His brows furrowed in confusion, the creases on his forehead deepening at the amused giggle that escaped me at the sight. 

“I am sure, but can you do me one favor?” I asked innocently. His face remained puzzled as he slowly nodded. His hands resumed their previous ministrations, smoothly running down the length of my body and back as we stood. 

“Can you not make a face like you’ve smelled something bad when someone uses the word boyfriend? Cause I don’t care how cute you are, I am never going to be cool with that,” I requested semi-jokingly. Loki merely blinked for a moment, a stunned look on his face as he took in my words. I felt a tingle of insecurity pass through my chest at his reaction, but waited patiently for a response nonetheless. 

After what felt like hours, the look of stunned confusion passed his features as his most genuine, face-splitting smile took over. He chuckled as he pulled me closer into his chest – the sound sending waves of relief through me as I snuggled readily into his embrace.

“Duly noted, my love.”

[tigers-eyes-26]

My Theory of Huey, Louie, and Dewey’s Father

Disclaimer: In college I had an Oceania literature class. One of those books was Potiki by Patricia Grace. Really good book about indigenous peoples struggles. One of Potiki’s main character Toko has a mysterious conception. It made me think of the boy’s father being such an unexplained mystery. I am not Maori. IF you are Maori you can Correct anything in this fiction just add your comment. This is a work of fanfiction and is just for fun. Also, I can’t write accents, just know all the Maori people are talking in a Aotearoa accent, and Scrooge has Scottish Accent. Also Trigger Warning there is a rape scene, but it is not explicit. Also, thoughts of abortion, mentions of getting drugged. 

“Who is our father?”

 “Oh no one needed to be remembered.”

Aotearoa in the 2000s

Della wasn’t allowed in the men’s meeting house, where her brother and uncle were. The other women invited her to hang out with them, but she ended up hanging out with the kids of the community.  They played tricks on her and let her play their games. Della stepped aside to “catch her breath” but she really wanted to see if she could hear was the men were talking about. She wasn’t going to go inside the house, but it was made of wood, so hopefully she could hear from the outside. She put her ear to the back of the meeting house.

“Oi!” Della jumped she looked for the voice that called. A child around ten years old smiled up at her. she had seen him around the community. “What you doing?”

Her eyes darted around, “nothing just… just admiring these….carvings.”

The child was unconvinced but continued with the topic. “If you really want to see a carving there is one in the sea caves over there.” the kid pointed off to the rocky cliffs that waves roughly crashed against.

Della saw the challenge. “Why is it in a cave?”

The kid shrugged. “No one will tell me.”

Now her curiosity was peaked. “Well let’s go look at it.”  

Della gathered a wetsuit and some supplies from their boat. The kid pointed to a little arch that was just barely above the water. “Under there is a large cave with the Tekoteko in it.”

Della hummed she looked at the waves timing them. “This carving better be good.”

“Some say it is the most handsome Tekoteko in the entire world.” He made a circular motion with his arms and stood on his tip toes.

“Why would they put a ‘handsome’ carving in a cave?”

He shrugged.

“One last question before I jump in.” Della squirmed a little, “Do ya think there will be fish?”

the kid gave her a look like she was crazy. “it’s the ocean lady! Its where fish live!”

“I know but with the waves do…. Do you think they will touch me?”

The kid sighed. “I don’t think the fish can follow you into the cave.”

Della took a deep breath to stele her nerves. “Ok I have a mystery to solve.” Put in her respirator in and dove into the sea.

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about the fish below you. She tried to focus on her goal. She got to the arch and dove under it. There really was a cave!

She got out her flashlight it was a really deep cave. she treaded onward. Why keep a carving this hidden?

She was expecting booby traps but there was none. Just a cave. how bor…. Wait was that a sound? Della stopped her inner monolog to listen carefully. There was a rushing of the ocean. She darted around to see if there was water coming into the cave. noth.. oh! There it was again.

“Hello?” she called.

“Eh” a voice answered

“Show yourself!” she prepped herself for a fight.

There was a cough. “Sorry… I don’t….like…light.” the voice was a young man’s but sounded unused.

Della wasn’t going to turn off her light, that a perfect excuse to ambush her in the dark.  “Who are you!?”

“I…guard the…Tekoteko…”

A Guard? Down here? for long time? in the dark? Whoever he was he wasn’t human.

“Well sense you guard it, you’re going to tell me to turn around and ever come back.”

“no….come….look.”

“It’s going to put a curse on me isn’t it?”

“some say….curse…. some say blessing……”

Mmmmm was this reverse psychology? “Why was it put down in this cave?”

“It’s their….magic….used…by….outsider. He….wished….for….eternal life…..”

“He became the carving, didn’t he?”

There was a chuckle. “intuitive…..”

“And if I break him out of the carving I get caught in the statue as he lives free?”

“He….needs….only….to be…..remembered.”

ah they put him down here to be out of sight out of mind. “Ok so just give me his name and I can write it in my journal and he will be remembered.”

“His name….its written….on…the….Tekoteko.”

“Nope this is a trap.”  She turned on her heel to leave. She took one step down into WATER! The tides! The water was rising. She had stayed in the cave too long. “Awwww Phooey!”

“continue….forward…higher… ground.”

Della sighed the voice was right she had been heading up a slope. Might as well keep going.

She came to an opening to an alcove. Ok just don’t look or touch the carving. She looked down at the ground it had some soft moss so that was good. She turned around to look at the ocean water.

“the….ocean….can’t…..reach…here.”

She realized the voice came from the back of the alcove probably from the carving itself. She just needed to wait until the tides lowered.  She heard wood creaking. She turned around trying to only look at the feet eh? stump? “Stay back!” She held her flashlight in front of her.

“I….need…only…to be…..remembered.”

“ya a creepy talking walking wooden statue that trapped me in a cave, hard to forget.”

“you’ll….. forget.”

Della felt hands on her arms. She struggled but the grip tightened. “Let go of me! You big palooka!” she tried to keep the flashlight on the statue.  She kicked at the wooden body, it didn’t seem to effect it. She banged her flashlight against his arms in hopes that she would splinter them. She pushed her feet against his body in hopes that she could slip out of his grip. The fingers started to grow long slender and slink down into her hand causing her to drop the flashlight.

“Look…..” his wooden arms slithered like a vine around her arms up to her face. She struggled more biting at the crawling wood. it got purchase of her head to hold it still.

“NO!” She grit her eyes closed. She could feel some splinters slithering into the corners of her eyes. “No!” Her eye lids were forcibly pried open. She saw the face of the Tekoteko. The eyes open on the carving. Underneath the wooden lids were shiny iridescent orbs. She had seen this on the other figures in village, but these eyes weren’t just shying with sunlight but with magic. Her mind started to fog. No! she couldn’t move her eyes. Her mind started to feel numb. She couldn’t open her mouth she figured the wood had wound itself around her beak.

“I need descendants.” This statement didn’t come from the statue it echoed around in her head. She felt her consciousness slipping.

***************************************************************

Della gasped jolting up. What…. What happened? The flashlight was still on. She picked it up and did a sweep of the alcove. She jumped when she saw the still carving. She waited. It didn’t move. Its eyes were open but there were no shiny part anymore just empty holes. She looked down at herself did she absorb his soul? Was he living in her mind now? She needed to know what kind of magic that was.

She zipped up her wet suit tighter around her neck. She found her oxygen tanks they had been unstrapped on thrown to the side. They still worked thank goodness. She started down though the sea cave. The tide had subdued. How long had she been out? She managed to make it out of the sea cave and into the waves. Her body felt weak.  

“Della!” she looked up at the cliff. Her brother dove into the ocean and her uncle was surrounded by the rest of the tribe. Donald wrapped a rope around her so the tribe could haul them out of the ocean.

 Della was chanted over and washed. So, she could enter the village again. The chief’s wife and several other ladies with tattoos on their chins. Gathered Della into a women’s house. Gave her regular clothes back. Once she was dressed, she was invited to sit among the women.

“I am so sorry for what has happened to you.” Lamented the Chief’s wife.

“What exactly happened to me?”

The ladies looked at each other. “Did you not….see?”

Della felt uncomfortable. “I was in some sort of hypnotic state…...”

There was a breath let out. “That may be a blessing.”  

Della only raised an eyebrow.

The lady continued, “Our statues that are carved are of relatives long gone. It is forbidden to carve people who are living. The purpose of the Tekoteko’s is for us to remember our ancestor’s stories. We keep our ancestors alive though us. The one that made that carving thought this meant he would be kept alive forever. A misinterpretation. No one is meant to carve unless they are set a part to do so. He was an outsider dealing with things he didn’t know.” The Chief lady rubbed her head irritated. “By carving that Tekoteko and having no descendants to keep his stories. He tied his soul to the Tekoteko….” Everyone now looked at Della. “Until he has descendants to release his soul from the wood.

Della started to sweat.

“We put that Tekoteko in that cave so that none of our girls would be…. harmed by him.”

Della felt like she would pass out. She took some deep breaths. “What should I do?”

“That is up to you.”

“What if I don’t have his…. descendants?”

“Our priest has some theories. But none of them are pleasant for your afterlife.”

Della frowned. “what if I… go through with it?”

“Our priest tells us his soul will move on. They will be the ones to continue his memory. They are his gate to being released from this world.”  

“I need to think.” she jogged out of the house.

****************************************************

Donald’s hands were broken for sure. He didn’t care. He wanted to demolish the one that had done this to his sister.  He had was laying on the grass, Tribes people were picking up the scraps of wood Donald had punched off the trees around him. Someone was going to get a new canoe from the tree he had downed. Della found him. She scooped up his body and hugged him. He started to huff and puff again.

“Dumbella!”

“WHAT!” she dropped his lame body back on the ground.

He hopped up at once, “You shouldn’t have gone in that dumb cave alone!” He squawked at her.  

She stood with her hands clenched. “I’m 25-year-old adventurer!  I don’t need an escort every where I go!”

“Well maybe you do!”

“What about you? 20 year old college student going off to South America with your band and getting drugged and beaten!”

They huff and puffed at each other, but the huffing and puffing turned into cries. They both cared about each other and just wanted to protect each other. They hugged again.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to go home.” She looked around the grove of trees. “Where is Uncle Scrooge?” Donald looked around too. They heard a snuffling behind a tree.

They approached their uncle’s hiding spot. Della gave a knock to the side of the tree. Scrooge quickly rubbed his handkerchief over his eyes. He looked up at the twins. “What am I going to tell Hortense?” his voice still shaky.

Della looked at Donald for some assistance. He just blinked at her. She took a deep breath. “Whatever we tell them, we’ll tell them together.”

[earthbound-swap]

It was the middle of the night when a meteor struck, or at least it felt like it to Ness. He didn’t stop to check the time, either, or bother to get out of his pj’s before his mom yelled at him for it. It felt like the whole town was there just to see too, even if it might’ve been only five people. But, it wasn’t every day a huge rock flew out of the sky. Especially in an area like this.

Ness still got his way to the top of the hill where it had fallen, or at least as far as he was allowed. Got blocked off, the police seemed to appear quickly at the scene.

The meteor was huge though, taking up a lot of the hill. Ness saw it quite well from where he was standing. He tried to take it in before going back home (he was still dead tired, it was the middle of the night after all); before an all too familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“‘Sup, Ness!” Pokey had put his arm around Ness’s shoulder, pretty aggressively, “What’re you up to this late at night?”

“Well, the meteor-”

“No duh, the meteor!” Pokey cut him off before laughing. “You’re gettin’ in the cops… well, I mean officer’s way!” he gave an obvious fake-sweet smile to one of the policemen guarding the area. “Just go home, I can tell you all-ll-ll about this in the morning!”

“Can’t I just see?” Ness asked, just a little desperate.

“Mmmmm, let me think. Nah!” Pokey let go of him and laughed again. “I got ya! Don’t worry your stupid little head!”

Ness ended up going home after that; the policemen’s annoyed faces at Pokey’s antics and Pokey himself was enough to drive him back home and back to bed. His mom already realized he was gone and was waiting for him at the door, to make sure he was alright.

He just wanted a bit more sleep...

Until a loud knocking at the door woke him up again. He wasn’t getting any sleep tonight, was he? So he just got changed and went back downstairs.

“Pokey, are you flirting with my mom?”

The kid snickered, standing in the door frame as he was talking to Ness’s mom, who to be fair, looked pretty uncomfortable. “Hey, Ness, s-so…” he hesitated. “I lost Picky at the meteor site after the police left. My mom's gonna be pissed if I don’t find him soon, ya mind helpin’ a guy like me out here?”

“It’s like… five in the morning,” Ness checked a clock on the wall.

“Fuck you! I just wanna make sure he’s alright, alright? Don’t be a jerk about it.”

“I’m not… alright, sure, let’s go. King! C’mere!” Ness called over his dog, he needed to go for a walk anyway, and King happily came along for their trip back up to the meteor that fell not even hours ago.

Picky had been sleeping soundly by a tree, looking almost at peace before Pokey had lightly tapped him with his foot. “Picky. Picky! Picky, wake uppppp!”

Ness listened to the two’s banter, something about Picky being infinitely more mature than Pokey (he had to admit, it’s true). Though he was a bit more interested in the meteor. It was incredibly hot, as expected, but there was something else.

“Do any of you hear a buzzing?” Pokey commented on it first.

“That’s not just you, no.” Ness agreed.

The three had gathered around the meteor, examining it and its newfound buzzing. Even more surprising was when it suddenly erupted a bright beam of light…

And a beetle a little bigger than the size of a thumb.

“A bee I am… not.” it started speaking, as the three looked at each other with looks of utter confusion as the beetle continued to infodump like an old sci-fi movie. “I am from the future, ten years to be exact, and in the future, all is devastation. Giygas, the universal destroyer, sent the world into chaos and eternal darkness. However! In my time, there is a legend of when the boy will find the point of light, the passage of time will shatter the nightmare rock, and he will reveal the path of light.

“I believe that you are the boy, Pokey Minch.”

...Pokey?

“Me?!” the kid in question blurted out. “I mean— of course, it’s me! I’m-”

“I’m not finished!” the beetle yelled before the three could start talking amongst themselves.“Giygas’ plan must’ve started on Earth, if we act now, you might have time to stop his evil ways. There are three important things to keep in mind: wisdom, courage, and friendship. The legends tell of three boys and a girl. Go now, I will explain it all when the time comes! You have much work to do, Pokey.”

A wave of silence came over the three of them, eventually broken by Pokey himself. “Uhh… destruction? Legend? Friendship? I’m not interested, this sounds pretty fucking lame. I’m gonna be dragged around for no reason.”

“It sounded pretty honest, I dunno, dude…” Ness was still trying to take it all in, he felt like he learned something he shouldn’t have. “If you want, I can try and help you out! Hey, I might be one of the four, even!”

He had the gut feeling that he definitely wasn’t. It’s not his job to intervene, but he couldn’t help but feel it was at least nice of him to try.

“Yeah, sure, I guess. I’m just bringin’ Picky back home,”

“I’m not five!” Picky argued with his older brother with a joking pout.

“Sure sure, you’re still getting home though. It’s almost morning. Meet you in Onett, Ness?” Pokey offered.

“Sure, dude, meet you in Onett.”

It was already sunrise when Ness got into the city, and not too long later before Pokey had joined him. He almost looked pissed off to Ness, had being in some sort of ‘prophecy’ set him off that badly?

“Ay Ness, ya think a yo-yo could be helpful?” was the first thing Pokey said that wasn’t a grumble under his breath.

“Yeah, it’s better than nothing!” Which Ness just realized was exactly what he had, nothing. Hell, he didn’t even think about needing to fight anyone, even if that should’ve been obvious.

Big quest, after all, those always have huge battles. He picked up a rock on the side of the road, that’ll do.

“Has this place always been so overrun with Sharks? I don’t remember there being this many…” he had finally taken notice of them all, but Pokey already still seemed a little preoccupied.

“Hey, shit-brain!” he had been cursing one of the Sharks out aggressively already while chasing him; an interesting style of fighting, Ness’d give him that.

Though, he had to chase after the two to get into this fight or be mildly helpful to Porky at all. “Gotcha!” Ness threw the rock he found at the Shark, which hit him in the face and at least made him flinch a bit

“Ness, you really didn’t need to-” Pokey started complaining before--

Smash! The Shark swung a hula-hoop directly into Ness, knocking him onto the ground. He shook off his head a bit and had to sit for a moment before getting back up into the fight again, though the Shark had already run off. He pinched his nose before Pokey had come up to him again.

“Are you crying?” Pokey asked him dryly.

“N-no!” Ness defended, “I just got a bloody nose, really, I’ll be fine,” It was quite a hard toss into his head, and when Ness let go and looked at his hand, there seemed to be quite a bit of blood.

“You can’t put up a fight at all! Dumb bitch, its been one battle! Are you even gonna be helpful?”

“It was one try, give me another chance!” He knew what they were both thinking though.

There’s no way I would prove myself with another chance.

“Just go, Ness. This isn’t your journey. Fuck off, and go home.”

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S5E4

Not in chronological order, yaaaayyyy...

Also the other reaction posts for Episodes 8-10 are still a work in progress so hang on!

My sister watched it with me (as well as another episode in S5 and we both plan on watching the series finale together) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

This is going to be fun.

“Shut up and die [Oswald].”  *starts singing “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry*

You are really going to hell.

I am.  It’s a curse.

*Recap shows Haven blowing up*  Welp.

Ahhhh that freaking shot [of the burning teddy bear]

Hell of a shot to open with

MMMMM....

Also that one [of the people getting out].  That one’s good.

This whole opening just leaves you so numb.

Right?  Holy shit.

And I do like that the other villains are so shocked and horrified at this.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, like you have Penguin and Ed and the other people are like “Oh my God...”

Yeah...

Oh you better not-

*Barbara points her gun at an unsuspecting Oswald*  Oh come on, his back is turned!

Not right nooowww!

That’s bullshit!

*both look uncomfortable when we hear a baby crying in the background*

Everyone’s just kinda grabbing each other!

*grabs my sister and shakes her by the shoulders*  It’s like “Jim!”  “Harvey!”  “Oswald!”

*one more time*  “Bruce!”  No, I’m kidding.

*laughs*  Christ!

Yeah, whenever they use orange lighting in this show, it’s like “Ah yes, give me more!”

Except you know it means shit’s about to go down.

I know.

Or some shit has already gone down.

*Jim looks at the ruins of Haven*  Shiiit...

*Harvey hands back the badge Jim gave to Will*  Nooooooo....

*sighs*

Nooooo... come on.  God dang it.

*Opening titles roll*  So yeah, how’s that for an opening?

Noooo...

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.”  Jesus!

“49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.”  *very softly*  Oh my God.

I swear to God she’s [Secretary Walker] an al Ghul somewhere.

AN:  This was actually recorded a few weeks ago.  Little did I know...

“But whoever destroyed that building can't destroy the hope we've built.”  That’s not gonna do shit!

Yeah, that one lady in the crowd’s like “Oh my God...”  SAAAME!

That’s not gonna do shit, Jim!

“How are you [Jim] gonna stop it from happening again?!?”  Good question!  Honestly right now, Jim, you’re not lookin’ so hot.

I know!

Luciusss!!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.”  Someone say “It’s Gotham.”  Please God!

“SELINA!”  They just leave his [Bruce’s] ass there...

God... poor Bruce.

That’s gonna be nightmare inducing.

Yeahhh-

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in*  OH NOOO COME ON!

Ohhh the Ecco goons!

Can I preemptively say “[expletive] that noise?”

*chuckles*

Also, I love this bit right here:

*laughs when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot*  Worth the shot, buddy!

Ugghh, so close!

*Alfred comes to the rescue*  AL-FRED!

YES!!

LET’S GO!

YESSS!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal.  Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.”  Where’d he get that?!?

*at same time*  What is that?!?

We already get that he’s Batman:  he’s pulling solutions out of his ass.

It’s Lucius.

I guess.

“How did that happen?”  “I [Bruce] let my guard down.”  *aside* You do that a lot, buddy!  You’ll do it more in the future!

“She’s [Selina] gone after Jeremiah, alone.”  *silently hurrahs*

OK, why is she [Barbara] wearing like a dominatrix outfit?

I mean, her last outfit was covered in filth so... also she has Penguin’s hair.

Yeah but- the leather corset?  Really?  C’mon...

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.”  “This is Gotham.  You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“  *both giggle*

“How about a location? A building in the northeast corner of Harlow Park. He says the guy's holed up there.”  Also, they really need to release an official map for this because I have no idea where everything is.

They really need to.

Like I know that they use the actual No Man’s Land map

Right... but this continuity strays so much from regular DC continuity that not all of that might apply.

Yeah.  It’s like “Oh the Soothsayers are in the Granton district in the Dark Zone” and I’m like “Well where is that?!?”

Yeah.

Amusement Mile?!?  I know Ace Chemicals is in the Dark Zone.

Of course it is!

It’s near Crime Alley.

‘Course it damn well is!

But Crime Alley’s in Firefly’s zone.  I think, yeah.

Que interesante...

Ohhh that lightinggg!

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct*  Ohh c’mon... c’mon dude.

Digging the eyepatch on that guy [henchman] though

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”* 

“…you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.”  *sings*  OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

Hey yo, I’m gonna need a right hand man!

*groans*  I’m already dreading this.

“Take all you can carry.”  Arm yourselves to the teeth.  You’re gonna need it.

Also, they did not kill the dog.

Oh thank God.

Just to let you know!

“WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL THE DOG!”

TZE CHUN, THANK YOU!

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?”  Don’t ever say that again.

Yee-haw.

You’ve yee-d your last haw.

*laughs*

*Ed wakes up*  Nooo, who gives a shit about Ed?  Who gives a shit?  I don’t give a shit!

*aside*  It’s gonna become a lot more important.

I like this music here [when Ed investigates the suitcase] actually

*both end up scatting it*

Just sounds like they’re banging a bunch of coconuts together.

*both sing*  BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!

*imitates Ed saying “I’ve been on a trip!” hand gesture included*

*both tilt our heads in unison to read the message on Ed’s hand*

“KNOWS WHAT?!?”  Me.

Oh my God...

That’s the campaign poster [of Oswald] in S3!

Also I like how the cop cars have the grills and bars on the front and on the windshield.

Yeah... smart move!

“To hell with Penguin.  Haven wasn't your fault.”  “I [Jim] told the people it was safe. I made them into a target.”  You know Penguin’s right there!  He can hear you.

*One of the cop cars drive past Jim*  Don’t park in the puddle!  Noooo that’s what they diddd-

No they didn’t.  Nevermind.

*giggles when Oswald pulls out a megaphone*

“There goes the element of surprise.”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, he freaking winked at Jim!  Oswald, you-

Oh noooo...

*Another shot at the group*  Yep.

“We’re sitting ducks out here.”  “And one Penguin.  Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?”  *both laugh*

*both imitate Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu…”*

“Pretty cozy up here.  Thanks guys.”  C’mon buddy!  C’mon!

*claps hands*  Give us him!

Give us the goods!

Give us!

“Zsasz?!?”  Yassss....

“Oh hey guys, what’s up?”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, I’ve missed him!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss*  YAASSSS!!

ZSAAAAAAAAAASZZZ...

ZSAAAAAAASZZZZ....

ZSAAAASSSZZZZ HONEY!

ZSAAAASSZZZZ!

*giggles*  Yaaasss....

Oh my God what.  Is that Selina?!?

No, that’s Ed.

Freakin- what is it with him and the bad disguises?!?

But like he got through the entire precinct like that!

Everyone wasn’t paying attention!  If they were paying attention, they would’ve just ripped it [the blanket] off of him!

I know!

“I can still see your face.”  “Not when I do this, you can’t.”

*laughs*

It’s literally that!

It is.

*Ed runs into Lucius*  Ohhh yess!  I really like these two interacting.

Lucius!

“I am given and I am taken.  I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.”  Oh screw off!

Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.”  I love that!

His little poses!

Yes yes!

“Well I'm [Ed] guessing you [Lucius] don't want money, because, uh, it's worthless.  I don't tend to carry snacks on me.  And if I had any bullets, I would just shoot you and take the folder.”  I really want somebody to be like “I’ll give you a load of bullets for a box of Cheez-Its.”  “DONE!”

*laughs*  Would you like the other half of this cosmic brownie?

My God, THIS MAN GOES FREE!

You know who Chris Chalk kinda reminds me of?  The ally guy from “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes?”

Yeah, it does...

Hari Rhodes!  That’s the actor!

*giggles insanely when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

What the frick?

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.”  *both laugh*

What a way to say that.

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago!  Why should we believe a snake like you?!?”  “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?”  *raises pen in air in agreement*

Well duh!”

“Is this about Sofia Falcone?  You should really move past that.  It’s not healthy.”  *both giggle*

This man...

This man!  He was probably raised in the South.  He would probably go “Hey y’all!  You’ve yee-d your last haw...”

Noooo noooo... he feels more like a California guy.

Yeah... *starts singing the theme song for “The OC”*

*Everyone starts firing at Zsasz*  Zsasz is just like “Nope!’

“Nope!”

That’s the most casual duck.  Just rolls out of the way!

Come on, Jim!

I’m kinda wondering why they never got “Um guys, there’s a freaking concrete wall between windows.  He could just hide behind that!”

Or they could just like aim at an angle.

Yeah...

Get in the room!

This isn’t rocket science.

*both crack up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*still laughing*  What an asshole!

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground*  WHAA-

LET’S GO!

Right through the snack table!

And they destroyed his bowl of chips.

“[Victor] Glad to see you’re still with us.”  This man has never given a shit in his entire life.

“Thank you, thank you.  You were great.  Glad there are no hard feelings.”  I’ll be here all week.  Try the veal!

*laughs*  That was priceless.

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].”  No!

No!

“If he did this, I need to know if it was a part of something larger.”  Jim, you’re always a part of something larger!  READ THE SCENE!

Oh my God, they got Zsasz sitting in the back.  Zsasz is probably gonna like try to strike up a conversation.

“So, how was life?”  “Oh my God, shut up....”

It’s that bit in “Civil War:”  “So you like cats.”

“Sam.”

This is Tony Stank!

*Selina follows Ecco and the new followers into the work site*  Oh here we go, here we go.  Here we go!

Oh Jesus... the belly of the beast.

Also, that place must smell like just terrible.

Right?!??!  If this place doesn’t smell like an armpit, then...

*Sykes dies*  ...oh God.

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.”  *leans far and away from screen*

Bitch.

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?”  You prick.

*turns towards me*  Don’t you dare [sing]

*leans away when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife*  HI THANKS NO BYE!

*both groan in disgust*

YOU NASTY!  YOU TWO [Jeremiah and Ecco] DESERVE EACH OTHER, ya- mmmmmm!

Honestly though, I am kink-shaming.  I am kink-shaming so hard.

*chuckles*  They’re carrying his [Sykes] body out in a wheelbarrow.

OK, but like the Tim Curry voice- that’s an affectation!  He’s just putting that on to sound impressive.

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

He’s like “Mm-mm!  Sorry!  Helloooo!”

*Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar*  Noooooo...

He’s lookin’ right at the bullet...

Eeuughh...

“Bruce Wayne, and his sidekick Curls?  Or is he the sidekick?”  That’s still such a great line.

“And Curls can walk.  Really well.  Especially… for a paraplegic.”  *done*

*softly laughs in shock*  Oh my God...

*Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco*  How have these two not eaten each other alive at this point-

*sinks down in chair when Jeremiah dismisses Ecco*  Oh my God, that was a ghost kiss!  I HATE YOU!

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!”  *both laugh*

That is a hell of a line!

*Selina follows Ecco and her group*  Yeah, you see him [Jeremiah] in the background just whip around!

Yeaahhh!

That was like a horror movie thing, where the monster just whips around.  You can imagine a little scare chord in the background.

Right?!?

Also, I like how they establish that relationship in like under a minute.

Yeah...

Like yes, that is how you do it.

That was good.

Eat that, “Suicide Squad!”

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.”  “But for this level of destruction, that would require a bomb that's 20 cubic feet of explosive material.”  Or a baZOOKA!

People just really love their RPGs in this show.

People just really love bazookas.  Bane uses one in the Bane Red Trailer

“Man walks into a room, alone, and is later found murdered.  There are no windows, and one door, which is locked from the inside.”  *whispers*  Toxic gas.  No I’m kidding.

“The bomb was the building.”  *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

I love that.

*Ed and Lucius figure out how the building blew up*  This makes the forensics class part of me just so happy.

“Ow!  That’s a really nice table.”  *both chuckle*

“We got a dozen witnesses that saw you [Victor] walk out of that building before it went kabooey.”  *in unison*  Kabooey.

“Hey, do you guys have any canned peaches? Man, I'd trade an arm and a leg for that right now. Not mine, somebody else's.”  *both laugh*

Man, I missed him!

I know!  I’m gonna miss him so much!

“And, guys, those were warning shots. I mean, if I really wanted to kill you you'd be dead.”  If you guys could aim in this show.

Right?

I mean it’s not like the *pretends to shoot around something*

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.”  Can we see them?

*gives me a weird look*

His scars!  We only see them once [way back in S1].

I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it.  He’s handsome.”  *both chuckle*

OK, but if the Gotham fandom isn’t already shipping them, I’m gonna be very disappointed.

*tries not to say anything without laughing*

Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

“Looks like you need a new suspect.”  *in Southern drawl*  Looks like it wasn’t Zsasz!

*Oswald arrives at the precinct*  Go to hell!

I love that shot of him.

“I know the wheels of justice turn slowly, so I'm here to provide - a modicum of grease.”  A what of what?

He said “grace” like “grease.”

What of what?  I don’t know.  I don’t know diction anymore.

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim... Actually, I did, which is why I didn’t come alone.” OH COME ON!

*nods*

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?

“Torturing- torturing Zsasz into confessing won't give the people justice.”  And it’s not a very effective way of getting answers either!  Because they’re gonna say anything to make it stop.

Also, take a shot every time Oswald refers to Jim as “old friend.”

You’d be dead.

“There will be a trial!”  I still really wanted an episode like the “Trial” episode from the animated series.  That would have been so cool!

*waves at screen when Zsasz gets escorted out*  Bye Zsasz... you’re gonna be high as a kite the next time we see you.

We see him more in this episode.

OK.

The last episode he’s in, he’s just like “Whaauggh!”

*laughs*  What a way to go out though.

Harvey just tackles you?

I mean, if I’m gonna go out, I’m gonna go out high as a paper kite too.

*gives her the strangest look*

*laughs*  You’re judging me so hard!

*shakes head*  I can’t believe you.

I say that like I know what the hell getting high even feels like.

I love that this lazy ass [Haven bomber] just like leaves all the stuff there.  He’s like “Oh, we gotta scatter it!  Kick!”

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.”  So he [Ed] didn’t do it.

*shakes my head like the liar I am*

OK...

“I appreciate your help, Ed.  Couldn’t have done it without you.  If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.”  *chuckles*

[Ed] You have one friend.  Kind of.

He so badly wants to say “No, god dammit!” but he can’t!

Censorship!

This show isn’t rated high enough.  Let Edward say [expletive]

*wheezes*  He’s not that kind of person who would say that.

Oswald would!

He would.  I made that meme thing!

Yeah that’s true.

Ed would catch himself and go “Oh... fart.”

“PENN, WHERE THE F-”

*both laugh*

Oh, that was brilliant*

*The crowd at the trial becomes unruly*  Fight, fight, fight!

Oh God...

“Look at them, Harvey.”  Not another speech!

Now see, that [mural behind the staircase in Oswald’s place] is like Bioshock!  That big-  isn’t there a big mural in the-

Yeahhh, in the church, yeah!

For the workforce?

I dunno, this is more like OG Bioshock instead of Bioshock Infinite.

Yeah.

Because we’re past the religious stuff.

Ohh the purple lighting behind him [Oswald].

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer?  I feel like my rights are being violated.”  I mean, technically they are.

Wait, they actually have somewhere there like transcribing the whole thing [trial]!

I also like that he’s [Oswald] wearing the sash that the choir members wore.

Yep...

He [Oswald] paid off the witnesses though!  This is-

No!  Yeah, they said money is useless, so why would Oswald pay them off?

True... but this is obviously just a sham trial.

It is!  It’s a kangaroo court.  I love “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Also I like that goon in the background that looks like Neo from “The Matrix.”  With the long coat- no, that’s Morpheus.  Nevermind.

“It was a bomb.”  *chuckles*  It was a big one.

“For months now, you've been hearing me [Jim] say help is coming.”  IT AIN’T!

“This is not justice.”  This is where I pull out that quote from the first “Dark Phoenix” trailer and just insert it in here.

“I’ll [Oswald] consider that your [Jim’s] closing argument.”  That was like his opening and closing argument!

Though it did put me in mind of a much better speech from “Camelot”:  “They have forgotten justice, they want revenge, revenge the most worthless of causes.”

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty*  What the hell were you [Jim] expecting?

Welp.

And Zsasz is like “Great...”  Good job, Jim!

Thanks for that, Jim!

Great job!

There is a guillotineeee!

Oh come onnn!

They probably got it from like the natural history museum. 

Sheesh...

Also, why would they have a guillotine in the natural history museum of Gotham?

Because this place is [expletive] up all the way up to the ears.

“Any last words?”  [Oswald] YOU PUT TAPE ON HIS MOUTH, YOU ASSHOLE!

*laughs when Victor gives his muffled last words*  He’s just stalling, I love it!

“Well said.”  *laughs*

*Victor gets rescued at the last minute*  Ohhh ho ho ho!

Shit, that was close!

*imitates Oswald yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

I actually really hope we see Zsasz in the time jump. 

I hope so.

I will be so happy.

*Jim shoves Oswald to the ground*  MOM, HE PUSHED ME!

You self-serving asshole!

“What choice do I [Jim] have?  Either I let him [Victor] go, or he's dead for something he didn't do.”  Either that or it’s like the final scene from “Se7en.”

*very softly*  Eesh...

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?  No.  Zsasz is not up for that.

No.

I think he begrudgingly gets along with Barbara so he wouldn’t do that.

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim.  It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys… like me.”  Yes.

“What?”  “Yeah, what?”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Give him your gun.”  OK, I hate this because Jim wants him [Victor] to shoot him. 

Come on...

He wants a shootout!

“Maybe I'm just tired of listening to you, Victor.”  Jim, come on!

*groans in frustration*

I like that shot though [of Victor being offered Harvey’s gun].  It’s like one of the westerns, with the blurry background.

“Do it.”  No...

Jim, what are you, stupid?

*sits back in relief when Victor turns him down* Oh thank God...

“So [Victor] get the hell out of my face.”  So why did he [Jim] want a shoot out?  He just wanted an excuse to arrest him again?

It’s guess it’s just kind of the built up anger.  Plus the fact that everything Jim has tried to do has utterly failed.

Yeah...

So he’s at the end of his rope and given up everything.

That’s true, yeah.

Ooohh that’s [the lighting for that shot of the tunnel workers walking down the hall] cool.

Yeah, where the hell is this?

I don’t know... it looks like an old parking garage.

It does!

*All the tunnel workers get knocked out*  Oh dear.

*claps when Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred*  LET’S GOOOOO!  Yess!

Alfred being a badass!

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

*done*

*mouths along with Jeremiah’s line about the river, with eyebrows and all*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?”  “Dig a little deeper.”   *has to sit forward in an attempt not to laugh/sing*

*still done*

*eyes widen when Selina walks up to Jeremiah and stabs him*

“Deep enough?”  Let’s go.

Damn.

“Well Selina, I must say-“  Yeah, the Tim Curry voice is an affectation.

Yeah.

Stab number two.  Stab number three.

*in unison*  Four.  Five!  Six.  Seven.  Eight.  Nine.

God...

Ho-ly shit!

*Jeremiah drops to the ground*  And he’s alive after that.

*shakes head*

*Selina gets hit in the head with a tool*  Ohhhhhh!  That oughta hurttt!

Yeah.... Jesus.

Also, you noticed like that he [Jeremiah] immediately calmed down like “Oh, it’s not Ecco, oh thank God- oh it’s just Selina.”

*laughs*

*Last shot of Jeremiah in the episode*  He looks dead.

Yeah.  Like how the hell did you survive getting stabbed in the stomach nine times?

Plus, in the next episode, there’s a doctor there.  I think it’s some sort of surgeon.

Still though... damn...

*Ed is exhausted after climbing stairs*  Mood, Ed.

“I hate stairs.”  *laughs*

What a mood!

*sings*  What a mood, what a mood, what a mighty big mood!

[1215]  Oh Jesus...

Oh my gosh, the amount of times I’ve seen a ceramic rooster thing, ugh... that brings me back.

This poor old lady!

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.”  *softly*  Oh my God...

*The old woman hits Ed over the head*  HA!

*Ed starts to remember*  Oh my God!  He did it after all!  Oh, you- eat shit, Ed!

*points at screen*  Yeah that’s [the long hair and bowler hat] not a look!

*Ed blow up Haven in a flashback*  Why would he even do it though?

Also, I like these Windows screensaver effects.  *laughs*

Also, I wanna know how he [Ed] got the room number.

“I promise, I won't tell anybody.”  “I know you won't.”  Oh, c’mon, Ed!

No, c’mon!  Ed, no!  No no no!

*Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death*  Eat shit and dieeeee...

*tries not to laugh*  That’s from “Batman Forever!”  Because he pushes the guy out the window in the wheelchair!

Ohhhh, eat shit and dieee-

OK, OK, here’s the thing.  You’re gonna hate this ending because I hate this ending-

Oh God...

Because Jim and Barbara and it’s like-

What...

Yeah...

*yowls in frustration*

*can’t help but laugh*  Same.

“[Barbara] Your tip didn't pan out.”  “Well, I've got another one.”  Nooo.

Jim does not need this right now.

He does not need this right now.

You’ve made a lot of shitty decisions this episode, Jim.

Yeah, everyone has.  And these two have [throughout the show].

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.”  *to the tune of the opening of 2001*  Shuuuutttt upppp!  SHUT UP!

Is this really the time for freakin’ anger sex?

I know!

“I told you to leave.”  No.

*shakes head*

*both say varying degrees of “No” when Barbara gets super close to Jim*

Jim, no.  No.

No.

*Jim grabs Barbara’s arm to stop her*  Jim, no.

MMMMMMM!!!

*bolts out of seat when Jim and Barbara start to make out* 

JIIM, COME ONNN!!!

*in the background*  I’m goin’ out the window, bye!

Jim...

*comes back to seat when end titles appear*  AND THAT IS THE end of the episode!

Nooooo!!  Jiimmm, come on!  COME ON!

[fated-fateless]

SHIPPING INFO   /   answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.   /   REPOST. Don’t reblog.

TAGGED BY:  @bound-by-golden-wings TAGGING: @darling-red @moonsought @argcntumfidcm @smol-dragonseeker @abyss-wolf and whoever else would like to do this C:

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:

Chosen Undead & Solaire, sunlight 4 lyfe! Since Caspiron is essentially just my player character in Dark Souls, that’s the only thing that truly came up, but of course that is very different in roleplaying. I have a few one-sided crushes headcanoned for him, but they are hardly ships. Other than that… I didn’t have any ships in mind when I created him, so I guess this question doesn’t really apply.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:  I like slowly developing relationships. Anything can work for me as long as there is chemistry between the two characters, and I do not only expect fluff and such – relationships can be though, gritty business, and I’m willing to do all sorts of dynamics. I am somewhat out of practice with smut, though, and I am not sure if I can do justice to such scenes…. but, well, I’m always willing to discuss anything!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: Casp is in his early-mid twenties, and is perpetually stuck in that age due to his curse. He does not age, he just withers away. Similarly ageless beings are fine - otherwise I wouldn’t be comfortable with shipping with someone much younger than him.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:  

Mmmmm… not really, no. The only thing that I need is a decent development, and a story that makes sense. I want to feel the ship, and I need some time to do that, otherwise I cannot write it as a believable relationship.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW?: 

Ehhh... hard to say. I write very think-y, and NSFW often starts with dirty thoughts, but I am not usually very descriptive with those. Physically, some groping is allowed before it turns full-on NSFW.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?:  

So far there are two ships underway, one is with @moonsought’s Watcher, Hoenir, and the other is @bound-by-golden-wings‘ Ornstein. They are still under development of course, but they seem very interesting, and once I get off my arse I shall work on them more C:

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:  

If you want to ship-ship, then yes, I would much prefer that.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:  

Depends, I’m not much of a shipper to be perfectly honest. It’s different with original characters though. I do understand why one would be hesitant to ship with original characters, but honestly, I quite like them, especially when they are well developed C: Shipping can give some amazingly interesting dynamics, and I am all for those!

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: 

Yes, each ship to their own AU!

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: 

Ship more-or-less, I would say. I do like it, but is not a huge priority. To tell you the truth, I didn’t expect anyone to be interested in Casp anyways so it all came as a surprise :’)

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: 

Hmm… Pate & Creighton, Leonhard & Rosaria, Kirk & Fair Lady… Lautrec & Anastacia

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Ask meeee! Hit me up, ask for my Discord, just poke me, tell me if you’d like to ship with my boy and we will talk it out!

[ice-daddy-vitya]

[For mun: how do you feel about Victor teasing yuuri for his weight despite him being clearly uncomfortable about it? That was one of the few parts of the show i didn't like, but maybe it was because I have a poor body image myself] For victor (if you want): why did you call Yuuri 'piggy'?

Mun: Mmmmm ok so I have mixed feelings about this? Because the interactions in that scene can be taken multiple ways, but this is how I interpreted it. (I’m keeping in mind cultural differences throughout this post, and I am trying not to project my own social westernized stigmas as an American who is overweight with body positivity issues) 

In the series, the first time Viktor refers to Yuuri as a “little piggy”, you can tell right away that it’s playful, not malicious. You can tell in the tone of his voice and in the way he speaks to Yuuri that this is just how Viktor’s character is. He’s blunt, and honest, and a tease. (we see it happen several times, with one example occurring during their exchange in the parking lot during Yuuri’s anxiety attack in episode 7.) It’s in his nature to be this way. And personally, Yuuri didn’t seem to be as bothered by it as someone with severe body image issues would probably be. Like, it’s very clear and canon that Yuuri has anxiety, and he’s probably put off by it a little bit, but I never noticed him become emotionally triggered or bothered by anything related to his weight. The only thing we really see happen, is the fact that he just gains it way too easily. I don’t recall ever seeing any behaviors from Yuuri throughout the series that made it seem as though he had body image issues. (Yes, in the scene where Nishigori teased Yuuri as a child, he seemed bothered by it - but what child wouldn’t be when they’re being teased by a child older than them in front of another friend/Yuuko? Also, in episode 2, Yuuri expresses a lot more embarrassment at being called out by Minako for gaining weight in front of Viktor, and embarrassment that he allowed himself to gain weight due to his depression, than actual shame based in how he looked.) Yes, Yuuri definitely has self esteem issues and performance anxiety, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t have confidence in how he looks. 

- In fact, the way Yuuri acts when he’s all dolled up, at his physical prime, in costume, and out on the ice, tells us that he DOES have a confidence in how he can present himself. He even manages to go from not seeing himself as a sexual person at all (when he initially wanted to refuse performing “Eros”) - to becoming a very sexually expressive person in his interactions with Viktor (Demanding Viktor’s attention, licking lips, blowing kisses, tugging Viktor’s tie). And I think a lot of this has to due with him not only becoming more confident as a person, but also learning how to use his beauty and charms as a weapon during performances. (Again, the monologue during his skate when he tells the story about being the “most beautiful woman seducing the man”, etc) And we also see him express confidence in himself naturally in moments when his anxiety isn’t overwhelming him (i.e - when Yurio first appears in japan in the scene where Yuuri says, WHILE SMILING, and I quote, “he’s underestimating me…”)- 

We never actively see Yuuri put himself down for how he looks simply because of becoming fat. Whenever we see Yuuri doubt himself, it’s more generalized or focused in his ability to skate. (And he could still skate HELLA perfect even while he was overweight! - which is another point that people missed. His weight never HINDERED him.) What we see from him is a lot of self doubt about his relationship with Viktor. He thinks he’s not a good enough person overall, thinks little of himself as a person in general. (He’s not famous, he’s not rich, he’s not a gold medalist like Viktor, he isn’t talented enough, he’s too ‘normal’ - thus somehow rendering him undeserving of Viktor’s time and attention and love) 

Yuuri’s weight was treated more like, how can I put it… an inconvenience? Like, here he is, a top figure skater and athlete, and he probably has a really shitty metabolism. He eats badly for a week and suddenly he’s lost all of his progress for the season. And that’s a real issue that lots of people, including athletes, have! Yuuri is probably the type of person who has to work out every single day for at least an hour or two a day to maintain his slender, active physique. And the moment he stops working out daily (i.e - from what Kubo has told us about Yuuri in the Yuri!!! on Stage event during off-season) he ends up right back to being overweight again. But it’s not as though he can’t lose it. Yuuri easily fluctuates between being physically fit and overweight - and that kind of upkeep can become exhausting. (I know, I myself am a former athlete, and someone who puts on weight easily)

Back to episode 2, during the katsudon scene, we get the quote from Yuuri after Viktor calls him “piggy”, where he says, “I feel like I should be offended…” Meaning he wasn’t. Now, this could be because he’s still in the afterglow of meeting his idol and having Viktor become his coach so suddenly. But even then, his reaction was pretty mild, imo, in comparison to the offense he takes with OTHER things Viktor says. And he’s also not afraid to ever call Viktor out on it! That’s also why I don’t think the nickname bothers him too much. He allows Yurio to call him “Katsudon” and “pig” and Yuuri kind of just… shrugs it off. If Yuuri was honestly bothered by it? I think there would have been a bigger display in his reactions. Especially since Yuuri is a very expressive character when it comes to things like embarrassment, shame, anxiety, anger or sadness. Also, going back to Viktor’s character - we see that he’s not exactly the best as thinking before he speaks. On multiple occasions, Viktor says things to Yuuri that crosses a line. HOWEVER, every single time Yuuri has taken issue with something Viktor said, he speaks up and tells Viktor that he doesn’t like it. And when Yuuri tells him to? Viktor STOPS. Yuuri spoke up when they were at the beach discussing what to call their relationship, with Viktor agreeing to “meet Yuuri halfway” after suggesting he be his lover, much to Yuuri’s panic. Viktor immediately took a step back, understanding that it was still too early in their relationship to call it anything past friends. Then again, we see it happen in episode 7, going back to the anxiety attack in the parking lot. Yuuri gets visibly upset with Viktor for his inconsiderate attempts to get Yuuri to focus. And after calling Viktor out, Viktor, realizing what he’s done, goes back on what he said. 

That said, I truly believe that the nickname “piggy” was actually intended more as a term of endearment. It may not be something everyone likes or agrees with, because to a lot of us (especially western viewers), being called a “fat pig” isn’t exactly something we’d consider to be cute or sweet. But there’s a lot of cultural differences that we have to take into account here in addition to their character dynamics that helps to explain precisely why a character does something. Anyway - Sorry this ended up turning into a fucking dissertation lmfao I didn’t mean to go out on a tangent, I just wanted to answer honestly and in a way that made sense. I hope this was good enough to answer your ask, anon!

[chaos-candy]

LISTEN UP I GOT SOME THEORIES FOR SU AND BOY DO I LOVE ME SOME THEORIES MMMMM

1: PINK DIAMOND AND FAMETHYST

Pink knows she's defective and doesn't get a lot of attention from the diamonds for it, so she becomes bratty as possible to get some attention, even if it's negative//tho, the scene before she throws a fit with yellow, seems to be more child like wonder\\ all while doubting her self worth

Like

You think the famethyst love themselves because of her? Bc I'm pretty sure all of the famethyst have met her and they're all called defective//I am including the jaspers or the beta kindergartens in this, though the probably didn't get to know pink that well due to being made in the middle of war\\ bc the famethyst are all called defective, and she helped them with self worth and they helped her

In all honesty, she might have hated Jasper bc Jasper is often referred to as the perfect Quartz and pink didn't want a perfect Quartz, even if all the famethyst were "perfect soldiers" they were all flawed

They were in a moon base and took care of the humans and that was their flaw

Caring, and not having the mentality of a perfect solider, and Pink didn't want a perfect Quartz, she wanted something like her

She would've loved our amethyst

2: pearl?

You think pink only took a defective pearl if the above theory is true? And what if that pearl is our pearl? Now, now calm down, I know her gen is on her head, and bc pearl's gen are usually where their diamond's gem are, that means she served white

See, here's the thing

That's one of the ways she was defective

She was made for pink diamond

Our pearl had her own way of thinking

And pearl seems to be even more uncomfortable then anyone else when pink diamond's shattering is brought up, and sure, everyone is uncomfortable but again she is most upset by it. And, yeah it might be a pearl's reaction to be deeply devastated when a diamond is shattered bc they're only there to serve

But I feel like it would make a bigger impact on her to be that uncomfortable if it was her diamond, and had it not been for pink, pearl would have been shattered //again she was of free spirit she would have been shattered by White if she wasn't pink's pearl\\ had it not be for pink

And then the war started

And she wanted to get back at the diamonds for shattering those who were different

It went too far

^you could like, give me some good "yeah, plausible but [reason to improve\or why theory is really iffy]"

But I mean I could be right this show is like yeah it's normal; wait no guess again

3: seeing through pink's eyes?

It was very strange to me the fact that stevonnie could see into what pink was thinking

First I thought it could be bc Rose saw it through pink bc she saw humans sleeping and thought it was fun

The same way Steven has entered humans dreams and a diamond's mind while asleep could have been plausible bc sometimes you remember your past life when you sleep but that obviously can't be the case,, obviously

And if that bubbled gem in the temple //you know the one I'm talking about you've seen the post I'm like 95% sure you have\\ IS pink diamond and stevonnie was able to see her thoughts then pink diamond might have been unbubbled

Steven's done it before tO blue it's not that far off

Or is it a new power from stevonnie that allows them to look into the past of the building they're at?

That was a lot to write, probably misspelled a lot..