#mmm im fucking feral rn

[flowing-between-space]

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[p4r4syte]

its boiling hot rn so heres some lost boy hcs. what i think theyd do/be like in summer (mildly suggestive?)

pls add comments, ill add to it :3

David :

•avoids everyone. i know vampires are cold blooded but no doubt these mfs get agitated during summer. David the worst. he’d be sat there, coat discarded with a pissed off expression. still smoking. god forbid he doesnt smoke

•will even get pissed off with Feeding Time™️ because the bloods warm so he’d just disappear for days on end. hiding away. basically hibernating

•Is Extremely Snappy. he will go for anyones throat, doesnt even matter if youre together (god forbid mates), he’ll be avoiding you just in case but will Bark at the boys given any chance

•”he wouldnt hurt a fly” HE WOULD!!!!!! Fuck That Fly Do Not Invade My Personal Space

•will only calm down once hes cooler, he would genuinely have to piss off to the sea (or i imagine the cave has a watered in area) ((only dwayne knows about it but he let david in on it)) or hes sulking in a damp, desolate part of the cave. just waiting for the summer to end

•only one of the boys that can speak to david during this time is dwayne because of how hes empathetic towards his Boys. Marko And Paul Will Be DropKicked On Sight.

•sleeps upside down, near the darkest most secluded park of the cave. there isnt any air, theres no breeze. he doesnt care, he just wants to, fester. Leave Him To Fester

Marko :

•becomes more feral than he ordinarily is

•he Will be dangling from the ceiling, trying to catch any breeze that rolls in

•he will also be chilling with the pigeons, they find the coolest places in the cave to rest so Why Not?

•the summer heat will also be giving him unneeded energy. he WILL be playfighting with paul and then laying there overheating and gets pissed off once paul tried to interact with him again. Cant You See Im Warm? Jesus.

•will find endless cool drinks on the boardwalk once it cools down during night. itll give him no sustenance and he’ll be pissed off that he has a headache tomorrow but. Mmm Slushie :3

•still eats hot food and will complain about how hes warmer now than before he ate the food. yes he knew beforehand. no he wont stop. let him complain

•him and paul sit shirtless in the centre part of the cave, eating ice creams and then getting pissed off once theyve eaten them all (or theyve melted)

•calmer than david, less irritated than dwayne, less energetic than paul

•sleeps in a random, small part of the cave because the air rushes straight through (he followed the pigeons)(he learns many things from them, this is one of the many great things he found out)

Paul :

•please calm down. its Hot. Get The Memo

•continues his antics, just with, less clothes.

•the ONLY motherfucker thats actively trying to interact with everyone else

•he doesnt get it, god bless. not a single thought in that head x

•is also smoking. sat on that fountain (the cold marble against his back), trying to yell to the others (they ignore him) speaker blasting music (its pissing everyone off)

•the only one that actually leaves the cave (until he convinces marko to get slushes with him. then hes no longer going alone)

•a nuisance. a pure fucking mosquito of a man. he’d be stuck to you if he could, please don’t let him you dont know where hes been (various ponds) (hes upside down in a shrub) (dont help him)

•hes a boombox blaster, weedsmoking, white rum drinker in summer. or whatever he can get his hands on. but best believe he’s living it up even if he doesnt make it out the cave most nights

•sleeps drunk in the fountain, naked. Hey, Its Cool. What Do You Want From Me?

Dwayne :

•is the only one who Actually attempts to cater to the rest

•he knows exactly how everyone is and as much as he Needs To Rot too, he needs to check on everyone first

•only person hes really checking on is david lets be honest

•after finding david and just, checking, he’ll find his own section of the cave. not too far, within ear distance of Everyone in the cave

•he’ll just rest there for a while, just dangling, all sweaty

•sometimes he has enough energy to chill with paul and marko but quickly loses it after a while. paul is Way too much for him in this heat. Hes Markos Issue Now :)

•he is the only one that will remind the other boys that they need to eat. it may be hot, but you still need to eat. cue moody david, hyper paul, sweaty and overstimulated marko and coping mother dwayne

•doesnt speak to anyone, literally not at all, because hes just Too Hot™️ so he’ll just pull your hand to what he wants, guiding you to what he needs

•sleeps alone, in the centre on the cave. just above where they all gather, so he can hear everyone but is just far enough away to get peace. oh, hes also naked.

[lizziesrecs]

AAND HERE WE GO. if anything you should see my reaction on this part, i think its amazing, enjoy!

(: cursive-bold is fic and regular is me :)

"What did your boss do?” He replies, tone casual

Steve needs you closer as well, grabbing your thighs and pulling you onto his lap.

"Wanna put on a show for him when he walks in?” Steve asks mischievously. You nod excitedly in response. 

me rn ↓

“Should we move this somewhere more comfortable?” 

“So, so good,” you moan, lightly laughing too when you feel Eddie smile between your legs. 

before you can apologise you see Eddie’s eyes roll in his head, his fingers gripping your thighs impossibly tighter. 

Mmm, and you taste divine sweetheart,” he moans out, using his thumb to wipe some of your slick off his chin before sucking it into his mouth with a groan.

no bc kms how is this not me rn what the fuckkkk

Steve barely gets to say please before Eddie is smashing their lips together.

WE LOVE THIS. WE STAN THIS. every part includes a steddie kiss and im here for it. im munching on it harder than them calling me a good girl. which says a lot

but you hope you get to find that out another time. 

the angst warning is making me think that this is foreshadowing that i won't find out another time.

Steve suddenly brings his hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s head, pulling him to join him down at your dripping cunt. 

You make a sound between a scream and a high pitched moan as you feel two separate tongues on you.

this sentence makes me feral.

“you like that huh? Like choking on my cock baby?” 

“God you’re such a fucking brat, hold still,” Eddie hisses. The words give you butterflies and they're not even directed towards you. 

they do. what the fuck eddie. that-

When the only things he's ever wanted are cuddling up to him as they sleep softly in his arms. 

Butterflies that die and wither in the depths of his chest when he thinks about what he’s about to say next. 

eddie baby.. no.. don't.. dont do what i think youre gonna do.. dont be stupid and end it "before its over". YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT MUNSON.

“This needs to stop.” Is all Eddie says as he enters the room, arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face.

EDWARD MUNSON. SHUT YOUR LYING WHORE MOUTH RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. before i start crying

“I fucking knew it,” you finally reply with a roll of your eyes. 

“I could tell you were faking it; you’re both not that good.” 

“Besides, do you think anyone else would do this with you? Who else would’ve taken care of you like how I’ve had to all these years?"

“At least I wouldn't have had to hang out with the freak.”

Y/N Y/L/N YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.

"Well at least you wouldn't have been a fucking virgin in your twenties." He spits back at you.

...steven. motherfucking. harrington.

“I would never do that.” Eddie says with no emotion, tone final.

“At least I’m not a freak who's still a virgin in her twenties, it’s not cool to be such a cocktease at your age.”

i am so sorry guys but im gonna fucking murder this motherfucker

“God, you’re such a bitch,” Eddie sighs, shaking his head, “no wonder your last boyfriend dumped you.” 

“I don't want to see you, either of you anymore, being your friend has been painful enough.” 

They finally nod, their shoulders slumping in defeat as they slowly make their way to the front door. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. 

It’s been almost a year now since that night, and just as long since you’ve seen Eddie and Steve.

a yEAR????

Boys on Film. Part iii

Pairing: PS!Steve x PS!Eddie x Virgin!reader

Summary: last week with Eddie and Steve was everything you could’ve dreamed of and yet you can’t seem to shake these feelings of inadequacy at your lack of experience. Getting it in your head that they must be so bored with you… but surely they would tell you if they felt that way… right?

Warnings: Smut (18+), Masturbation (female), Voyeurism, Oral sex (f&m), angst (don’t hate me)

Word count: 12K

a/n: omg it’s finally done!! I have been working on this for years trying to get it right while also having life happen. I really hope it lives up to expectations and I can get the next part out wayyyyy sooner (also massive thank yous to my babies @andvys @wroteclassicaly @usedtobecooler for all of your help ily all sm)

Part 1 // Part 2

You slide your hands along your thighs slowly, feeling goosebumps rise as your fingers barely graze your skin. Rub your hands up your thighs, yeah, just like that, Steve’s words replay in your mind. You move your hands higher, one coming to cup your bare tits as you replay Eddie telling Steve how gorgeous they were.  

You’re going faster than they showed you, you know that, but you’ve been so desperate all day at work you need to relieve some tension now. The events of a couple of days before replaying in your head on a constant loop. 

You tweak your nipple, stifling a moan as you feel heat pool at your core. You bring your other hand to gently rub your clit over your panties, gasping at how wet they feel already. 

You’re desperate to feel how wet you are again as you move your panties to the side, lightly grazing a finger up your soaking core. That’s it, pretty girl, nice and slow, you can practically hear Eddie say breathlessly. 

You spread your wetness all over your clit before pumping a finger inside, crying out at how good it feels, your thumb coming up to rub fast circles in your clit. You know Eddie would chastise you right now for going too fast, but that image alone has you plunging another finger inside your dripping core. 

God, look at you, wish you could see how pretty and needy she looks right now, and so wet, you remember Eddie moaning to Steve. The coil inside of you tightening as your mind is focused on nothing but your boys. 

You realise you have been neglecting your nipples and give one an accidentally hard tweak at the realisation, causing you to arch your back at the mix of pleasure and pain. 

You’re so close, you can feel it as you moan out “I’m so close” to your empty room. You imagine Eddie and Steve calling you their good girl again as they desperately tell you to cum for them. 

That’s the final push you need before your orgasm crashes into you. Not as hard as it was with them but definitely the hardest you’ve ever made yourself cum on your own. 

Your back still arches and your legs still shake as you continue fingering yourself through your orgasm. 

You slump against the mattress when your orgasm finally fades. All too aware of the lack of Steve’s chest behind you or Eddie’s hands on your ankles. No, you think to yourself, I can’t get used to them always being here for that. The thought making your chest tighten but you’re too tired to unpack why. 

You quickly throw your pjs back on, climbing under the covers as exhaustion takes over. Your dreams travelling to your usual thoughts of Eddie and Steve. 

*****

You strut down your hallway with an extra pep in your step as you hear three quick knocks on your front door. Tonight is your usual night to hang out with Eddie and Steve which always makes you excited. But tonight brings an extra promise of continuing your lessons. You decided for a similar outfit as last time, something comfortable but still cute. You still feel like you excessively cleaned and moisturised but you’re definitely less nervous, excited this time even. 

You swing the door open much faster than you had intended, slightly startling Steve in the process. Your eyes quickly scan for Eddie, but assume they must have decided to drive separately. You beam at him as you motion him inside, throwing your arms around him in a friendly but tight hug. 

“Hello to you too honey,” he laughs fondly, returning your hug with just as much enthusiasm. “You’ll have to settle for just me for a little bit though,” he explains, letting your hug go to search your face for a reaction but still holding your hands in his warm palms, suddenly self conscious you’ll be disappointed in Eddie not being with him, “Eddie got caught up with doing something for Wayne, I couldn't catch the details, but he promises he’ll be joining us soon.” 

“Of course that's okay Stevie,” you say reassuringly, giving his hands a squeeze, “what do you want to do in the meantime?”

You mean your question innocently, and Steve knows that but he can’t help but selfishly want you to himself just for a second while Eddie is preoccupied. 

“Wanna sit?” He asks, letting go of one of your hands when you nod yes, holding the other tightly as he leads you to the couch. You can’t help but get butterflies in your stomach as you have every time you’ve sat on this couch since that night. 

Steve’s still holding your hand as you both sit next to each other, knees grazing as you angle yourself towards him. You find yourself staring absentmindedly at your interlocked fingers, teeth nibbling at your bottom lip as you feel nerves creep through your body. 

Steve can tell how tense you are as you sit rigid on the couch and grip his hand tighter than he thinks you realise. He hates seeing you like this around him, but can understand how you feel, doing this with someone he cares about is all new to him too after all. 

He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb in a comforting way. You look up at him as you realise you’ve been staring for a weirdly long time. You’re met with his warm amber eyes when you look up and you can feel yourself melting in them, earning yourself a warm smile from Steve. 

“Tell me about you honey,” his voice is as sweet as honey, “I feel like we haven’t properly caught up in ages, the last time we hung out we were a bit… preoccupied.” He says with a teasing wiggle of his eyebrows. You laugh at his ridiculous joke, thinking how he’s definitely been hanging out with Eddie too much, but can’t help the blush that creeps onto your cheeks. 

You and Steve talk for ages, you catch him up on the latest things that have happened in the last couple of weeks, which isn't much seeing as the most exciting things involved him anyway. He chats to you about his latest film, going into more details than he usually did, you realise. It leaves a slight pang in your chest but you’re glad he seems more comfortable sharing that part of his life with you now. 

You also don’t miss how certain details go straight to your core… and Steve doesn’t miss how that makes you squirm. As he continues his story he starts to gently trace your knee with his free hand, fingertips grazing you slightly, causing you to shudder from his touch. His fingertips inch higher and higher ever so slowly, leaving goosebumps in their journey towards where you need them most. 

You decide to chance a glance down at his fingers but realise too late that that's a bad idea when you find yourself unable to take your eyes off them. You watch his long slender fingers dance against your thigh, entranced by the way the veins and tendons tense and move with every movement. You stare intently at his fingertips, trying to will them to your core. 

Steve notices pretty quickly that you’re no longer listening to him so he asks you a question about work instead, wondering if just how preoccupied you are. You barely register that he’s asked you a question when you stare up at him blankly. He gives you a knowing smirk in return as he asks again, “How has work been babe?” 

“O-oh,” you stammer, swallowing thickly as you try to get your brain to work. 

You stumble your way through answering Steve, all while his fingers graze higher and higher. “A-and then my boss- ah,” you're cut off with an involuntary moan as Steve's fingers finally graze your core through your thin shorts. 

“What did your boss do?” He replies, tone casual, as though he’s completely unbothered by the situation and not already painfully hard in his jeans. You’re just so responsive, he really doesn’t know if he can contain himself until Eddie gets here. 

“O-oh well, um, she —“ you try to continue but your brain is so foggy, Steve's fingers increasing in pressure send shocks throughout your body. You clear your throat, “well, she was — um,” god he has pretty lips, you find yourself distracted again as you stare at them. You try to will your brain to form a coherent thought, one that doesn't involve Steve's lips, and fingers, and pretty eyes and how good his hands felt on you and how thick he is and oh how you can definitely see the outline of him straining against his jeans. 

Oh fuck it. You surge forward, suddenly capturing Steve’s lips with your own. The small surprised sound that Steve makes gets swallowed by your greedy mouth as he kisses you back with just as much intensity. You try to deepen the kiss, Steve letting you take control, loving how confident you are when you’re so turned on like this. 

You lean up on your knees, desperate to feel more of Steve, moaning as you feel your chest press against his. Steve needs you closer as well, grabbing your thighs and pulling you onto his lap. You squeal at the feeling, finally breaking away from his lips, but it quickly turns into a moan as you feel Steve’s hardening length pressed right against your core. 

Steve’s hands come to knead at your hips, not holding you still but not moving you either. As much as he would love to throw you onto the couch and bury himself deep inside you over and over again, or at least feel your hips grind against his, he would never let himself go faster than what you're ready for. 

Luckily for Steve you snake your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape and finally moving your hips against his. It’s sloppy and without rhythm, the angle not quite right but it offers at least a little bit of relief for him. 

You stay like that for a while, kissing and moaning and grinding against him. Your hips pick up their pace, needing something but you can’t seem to make it feel as good as you need it. You break the kiss, forehead resting against Steve's as you both pant. 

“Steve,” you whine, and god it’s one of the most beautiful sounds Steve has ever heard. 

“What do you need, beautiful?” He whispers. 

“You, more, just something, please.”

He chuckles fondly at you, he can’t get over how fucked out you are already. “I got you babe, just, here, like this.” Steve takes hold of your hips more firmly, angling them down and grinding you against him, moving his hips up against you at the same time. 

You let out a shaky groan, finally feeling the pressure deliciously against your clit. Steve attaches his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there as he continues to grind you against him. 

He can feel your thighs start to tense, shaking ever so slightly and as much as he would love to watch you come apart in his lap, he knows you should both wait for Eddie. 

“That feeling good huh baby?” He asks cockily. 

“Mmhm,” you moan, nodding your head vigorously, eyes screwed shut tightly as you try to chase that feeling. Just then Steve stops moving your hips, keeping you still as you try to squirm. You open your eyes then, bottom lip protruding in the cutest pout Steve has ever seen. 

“Don’t you think we should wait for Eddie, baby?” 

You take a deep breath, “Fuck, yeah, yeah you’re probably right.”

Steve rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breath. He nudges his nose against yours, stealing a quick, soft peck against your trembling lips. 

“I was so close though, shit,” You breathlessly laugh. 

“Oh trust me babe, I know.” He laughs with you, foreheads still pressed together. 

“I hope Eddie gets here soon,” you whine and as if he heard you, you hear the familiar sound of Eddie’s van pull up out the front. You sit up straighter in Steve’s lap, an excited smile on your face. Steve returns your smile but tries not to focus on the jealousy creeping up inside him at your excited reaction to Eddie. 

“Wanna put on a show for him when he walks in?” Steve asks mischievously. You nod excitedly in response. 

 *****

Eddie pulls up at your place, practically leaping out of his van and running up to your door. He uses the spare key you gave him, not even bothering to knock, assuming you probably both heard his van anyway. 

He resists the urge to yell ‘honeys I’m home’ as he enters. When he sees that you're both not in the kitchen he rounds the corner, the sight of you both rushing straight to his cock as he swallows hard. You’re perched on top of Steve’s lap, both of you making out fervently, each swallowing the soft moans you both make. He can see the plush of your ass in between Steve's fingers as he grips it to move you against him. 

I could get used to coming home to this.

Eddie quickly pushes that thought out of his mind. It was a stupid thought to have anyway. He watches how relaxed and in sync you both look, both lips swollen and red from obviously a long makeout session. This realisation settles in Eddie's stomach, envy bubbling deep inside. This feeling only grows as he realises neither of you have even realised he’s there, so he thinks. 

You and Steve continue to put on your show for Eddie, thinking he’s completely dumbstruck at the sight before him, this only spurring you both on further, deepening the already sloppy kiss and rutting against each other with even more desperation. 

Eddie clearing his throat finally breaks you and Steve apart. Any annoyance Eddie felt at the situation was quickly dispelled as he was met with two excited, fond and smiling faces. 

“Hey you two,” he coos, coming to stand behind you in front of the couch. 

“Thank god you’re here man,” Steve sighs, “If we’d been making out any longer I don’t know if I would’ve been able to stop myself from bending her over this couch and fucking her.” He playfully bites at your neck causing you to blush and giggle in his lap. 

Eddie thinks your blushing, already fucked out face is adorable, coming to sit down next to steve on the couch. You waste no time in climbing into his lap instead, snaking your arms around him in a tight hug, finishing it off with a quick peck when you both pull away. 

A peck that Eddie quickly deepens, one hand coming to rest against your waist and one holding the back of your head. You moan at the feeling, easily submitting to Eddie as he slips his tongue through your awaiting lips. 

Steve can’t help but miss the feeling of you on his lap but would be lying if he said he didn’t love watching you and Eddie make out. You can’t get over the difference between how they kiss. Steve is controlled and intoxicating where Eddie’s is messy and all consuming. 

You and Eddie kiss for a little while longer before Steve stands up abruptly, not being able to handle the tightness of his jeans any longer. He holds his hand out to you. 

“Should we move this somewhere more comfortable?” 

*****

After a giggly makeout session down the hallway to your room, all three of you running away, pulling the other two back, pushing each other against the wall  and drooling at the sight of the other two making out, you find yourself sprawled out in front of Eddie and Steve. Both shirtless and palming themselves through their jeans as they take in the sight of your once again naked before them. 

Before they left in the morning last week you had all talked about “the plan” moving forward, both telling you they think the next time should be them eating you out. Both of them “getting to show you how hard we can make you cum” — as Eddie had said cockily through a mouthful of toast. 

“So… who’s going first?” You ask nervously. Eddie and Steve’s eyes snapping up to yours. They hadn’t really thought about that. 

“We’ll seeing as you got her all to yourself this afternoon it's only fair I get to taste her first huh Stevie?” Eddie winks at you, causing you to giggle. 

“What?” Steve questions, “No way man, if anything I had to endure making out with her all afternoon without getting to taste her, I’ve earned first taste!” 

“What? Bullshit!” Eddie retaliates. 

You can’t help but laugh at both of them, never in a million years did you think you’d have two guys, let alone Eddie and Steve fighting over who gets to taste you first. 

“Well…” You start, causing both of them to glance back at you, “Steve did get to help me cum last time… I think it should be Eddie. I-if that’s okay Stevie?” 

Steve smiles warmly at you, this is about you, he reminds himself. “Of course that’s okay honey,” he whispers sweetly, shooting playful daggers at Eddie when he snickers. 

Eddie comes to settle between your legs, gently spreading your knees until he is face to face with your already dripping cunt. You shudder when you feel his hot breath ghost over you. He kisses your inner thighs, gripping the plush of them gently as he maintains eye contact with you. 

It’s a bit surreal for a second, seeing your best friend, your Eddie, in between your legs, but you’re also certain you'd never feel more comfortable with anyone else, other than maybe Steve. 

“Ready sweetheart?” He practically purrs. 

You know better than to not give them a verbal answer, breathing out a soft yeah in response. Pleased with your answer Eddie gives you his usual wicked grin before dipping down, pressing a soft kiss to your throbbing clit, causing you to jump, even at the soft gesture. 

He spreads your folds for him more, licking a broad stripe from your hole and up to flick your clit softly with the end of his tongue, causing you to whimper at the foreign feeling. He repeats his actions, gathering all of your slick on his tongue before smearing it all over your sensitive bud, moaning softly as your taste invades his mouth. 

“Oh? Ohhhh, oh fuck,” you whimper and moan through a range of reactions. It feels weird and nothing like you expected but also good and everything you’d hoped for. Completely different to your ex and infinitely better with a guy who can actually find your clit and extra sensitive with the vibrations from Eddie’s moans. 

Steve comes to lay down beside you, propping himself up on his elbow as he cups your jaw. You gaze up at him and grip his bicep as Eddie starts to gently suck on your now swollen clit, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through you.  

“How is he honey?” Steve asks with a chuckle, loving your sweet reactions. 

“So, so good,” you moan, lightly laughing too when you feel Eddie smile between your legs. 

You feel yourself getting lost in the feeling of Eddie’s tongue between your legs, your thoughts failing you as your mind can only focus on Steve and Eddie.

You feel the telltale signs of your orgasm fast approaching as Eddie’s skilled tongue starts to lightly breach your twitching hole. 

“Fuck,” you whimper at the feeling, throwing your head back at how intense it feels just to have half of Eddie’s tongue inside you. 

“Oh baby,” Steve coos, “You feeling that good from just his tongue barely fucking you huh?” 

You nod and whimper, the condescension in his tone making your walls clench around Eddie’s tongue, earning an even louder moan from the curly headed man between your legs. Eddie wasn’t sure who was loving this more. 

“Oh fuck, youre getting close huh honey?” Steve asks, leaning down to kiss along your jaw, “Fuckin’ sound so sweet when you’re ‘bout to cum for us.”

“Y-yeah,” you breathe between whimpers and tiny moans, “Ed-Eds is good, so so fucking good.” It’s the most coherent sentence you can manage at that moment. You can feel one of the most intense orgasms of your life rapidly approaching, all other thoughts and words failing you. 

Eddie moans cockily from between your legs, the low rumbling seemingly shooting through your entire body, adding to the already intense pleasure you're feeling. 

Steve continues to babble in your ear, sweet nothings of “you're being so good for us sweet girl.” and “you look so beautiful like this.”

Your hand flies down to tangle in Eddie’s hair, any previous apprehensions you had about touching him before and doing the ‘wrong thing’ completely gone the closer you get to reaching your peak. You realise too late how hard you're pulling on Eddie’s curly locks, but before you can apologise you see Eddie’s eyes roll in his head, his fingers gripping your thighs impossibly tighter. 

You mentally take note of the fact that Eddie loves his hair being pulled. Of course he does, you think.

You don’t get to think about that for much longer when Eddie starts to suck on you clit, hard. Your legs start to tremble, your thighs clenching around his head. 

“That's it, let go baby, make a mess of Ed’s pretty face.” Steve whispers in your ear. It’s enough to send you flying, hurdling over the edge as you cum harder than you ever have before. Your back arches, your whole body trembles and you practically scream Eddie’s name as you drench his face. 

Eddie doesn’t relent, sucking and licking you through your orgasm, only stopping when your back slumps onto the mattress, your body only trembling slightly from the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

As soon as you feel your senses return to you you look down in between your legs. The sight is almost enough to have you cumming again. Eddie is watching you with a warm smile, stark contrast to his beautiful, chocolate eyes gazing at you with intense lust. His soft lips and honestly half of his face soaked in your translucent, creamy cum. 

“You back with us sweetheart?” You hear Steve whisper in your ear, your head lulling to the side to face him as a dopey smile forms on your face. 

“Yeah,” you laugh, “shit that was amazing.” 

Eddie gives you a cocky smile at that. “Mmm, and you taste divine sweetheart,” he moans out, using his thumb to wipe some of your slick off his chin before sucking it into his mouth with a groan. An involuntary whimper leaving your lips as you watch him. 

Eddie and Steve chuckle fondly at your reaction before Eddie turns his attention to Steve. 

“You’ve gotta have a taste of her man, fucking incredible.” 

Steve is quick to move to kneel next to Eddie between your legs, leaning in to get a taste right from Eddie lips but Eddie stops him with a hand on his chest. Instead wiping more off of his chin with his thumb, before gently wiping it against Steve’s lips teasingly.  

You sit up on your elbows, wanting to get the best view you can. 

Steve is quick to open his mouth, sucking on Eddie’s thumb like it’s his favourite flavour of ice cream, theatrically moaning at your taste as his eyes roll. 

“More?” Eddie asks him knowingly, removing his thumb. 

Steve barely gets to say please before Eddie is smashing their lips together. Steve impatiently deepens the kiss, his tongue invading every inch of Eddie’s mouth, both of them moaning into each other.

When the taste of you starts to dull in Eddie’s mouth, Steve pulls away, licking a broad stripe from Eddie's chin all the way back to Eddie’s slightly gaping lips before connecting them both again. It earns him a slightly surprised moan from Eddie and causes you to squirm, trying to close your legs but being unable as the two boys are still between them. 

“What did I tell you?” Eddie asks Steve breathlessly when they finally break away. 

“Mmph, you were right — fucking devine,” Steve moans, Eddie’s eyes dart to you, giving you a quick wink, causing your cheeks to burn. 

“Think you could handle more, sweet girl?” Eddie asks. You nod your head apprehensively, craving more but also always unsure of what mischief Eddie is planning. 

But before you can dwell on that thought for too long, Eddie is gently guiding Steve’s head to your still dripping cunt. Watching you both for any signs of apprehension, smirking to himself when he finds only wonder in your eyes and pure lust in Steve’s as he gets himself comfortable on his stomach. 

You jolt when Steve licks your cunt, apologising to him but you just feel Steve smile against you and moan at your taste in response. Steve is slower and more gentle than Eddie. You’re not sure if he's going easy on you because he knows how overly sensitive you must be or if he is usually just this gentle, but you hope you get to find that out another time. 

Eddie keeps his hand on the back of Steve’s head, pulling the hair slightly, knowing how much it makes Steve squirm. Steve moans at the pressure on his scalp, hips absentmindedly rutting against the bed, desperate for some kind of relief. 

You continue to moan and flinch from the overstimulation to your swollen clit, Eddie’s mouth practically salivating at the sight. As if reading Eddie’s mind, Steve suddenly brings his hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s head, pulling him to join him down at your dripping cunt. 

You sit up higher on your hands now, not wanting to miss a second of this and spreading your legs impossibly wider to accommodate two people between them. Eddie darts his tongue out, licking slowly along your clit too, tongue bumping Steve’s as he does. Eddie drops his hand from Steve’s head, letting the other take control. 

You make a sound between a scream and a high pitched moan as you feel two separate tongues on you. Your hand coming to cup your mouth instinctively as you start to feel self conscious of the sounds you’re making. 

“Ah ah, sweetheart,” you hear Eddie’s deep voice as he grabs your hand, pulling it away from your face, “let us hear your pretty moans.” 

You nod in response, still gripping Eddie’s hand and tangling your fingers together as he goes back to devouring you, your eyes screwing shut at the intense, overstimulating pleasure. You feel them both move slightly, one tongue dipping lower, circling your hole as the other continues to circle your clit slowly, deliberately. 

You gasp as you feel the tongue start to breach your hole, head snapping down to see both sets of eyes on you. You see Eddie’s eyes brimming with mischief as you realise it’s his tongue that’s slowly thrusting inside you again, this time as far as it will reach with Steve’s head in the way. 

Your mouth hangs open in a silent gasp, eyebrows furrowing together as you watch them intently. You whine when Eddie pulls away from your cunt, taking his hand back from your tight grip as he sits up. However he is quick to replace his tongue with one of his fingers, barely pushing it into you up to the first knuckle. 

“This okay sweet girl?” He asks breathlessly, wasting no time to slowly push his finger in when you whisper out please. 

You moan and gasp at the foreign feeling of having someone else’s fingers inside of you as Eddie continues to pump further into your dripping heat with every thrust. 

As soon as he’s got one finger pumping in and out of you slowly you turn to him, begging for him to add another finger which he happily obliges. 

“Aww, sweetheart,” he coos with a fake pout as you whimper at the delicious sting of his second finger being added, “that too much for your tight little pussy?” 

“N-no,” you stutter out, “fuck, no, its good. It’s so fucking good Eddie your fingers are so thick.” You don’t have time to register how out of character it is for you to talk like this, but you’re hurdling too fast towards your second orgasm — something that once felt impossible — to notice. “So much thicker than mine, fuck. A-and Steve, your tongue feels, oh god, so good. It’s so much and so perfect, shit.”  

Steve’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he lets out a guttural moan at your words. Eddie looking at you in a mix of surprise and awe as he mutters a “Fuck, princess,”. His free hand coming to palm himself through his jeans. 

You watch Eddie touch himself, suddenly getting the overwhelming urge to have him deep in your throat like you’ve been imaging for the past week. 

With you knew found confidence you shakily ask, “Y-you look so hot when you touch yourself Ed’s, fuck. C-can I?” 

Eddie finds your vague question adorable. He’s got an inkling of what you’re asking for. But he needs to hear those words fall from your bitten lips. Eddie slowly removes his fingers, still careful to not hurt you, although you're so wet he's sure he could slide his dick in with no resistance at this point. 

He comes to kneel beside you on the bed. “You’re gonna have to ask better than that princess, what do you need from me?” 

“Your cock.” You mumble, flushing a little, “Please, can I, — can I suck it again?” 

Eddie would give you the world if you asked with the way your lust blown, glassy eyes are staring up at him. He wastes no time undoing his pants, shoving them and his boxers down in one swift motion. 

“You sure you’re up for this sweet thing? It’s hard to concentrate on pleasing whilst getting pleased, ya know?” 

“Mm I’m sure, please?” You beg, reaching out for him with one hand, the other keeping you half upright. 

“Eager,” he chuckles at you, “here, keep your head still like that and focus on keeping yourself upright, I’m gonna thrust into your mouth, I promise I’ll be gentle, okay?” 

“Okay,” you breathe, eyes focused on Eddie’s cock mere inches from your lips, your mouth salivating and opening on instinct as you finally get what you so desperately crave. 

The musky taste of Eddie invades your senses as you finally feel the head slip past your lips. You go to bob your head but Eddie grabs your hair, holding you still. Instead feeding you his cock slowly, inch by inch before moving out and gently thrusting back in. He continues this until he’s set a good rhythm that’s still slow enough for you. 

“That’s it,” Eddie sighs at the relief of you lips and tongue, “good fucking girl.”

You feel Steve’s fingers breach your hole suddenly, two fingers sliding in with ease due to the stretching from Eddie moments ago. You feel Steve curl his fingers, reaching a spot deep inside you that you’ve never been able to reach on your own. 

The feeling causes you to gasp around Eddie’s cock, accidentally gagging in the process. Steve stops licking and sucking at your clit when he hears you, stilling his fingers inside you. Eddie is quick to remove himself from your mouth, although he couldn’t hide the moan that left his lips feeling your throat constrict around his cock like that, resisting the urge to completely ruin you. 

“You okay little one?” He asks, wiping a tear that’s escaped your glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you assure him, turning to Steve, “you can do both at the same time?” You ask innocently, awe and surprise written all over your face. 

“Yeah,” Steve replies with a chuckle as Eddie smiles. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” 

Steve can’t stop the smile that spreads on his face, you are so cute it hurts. 

“You okay if I get back to it?” He asks, diving back in gently when you nod your head vigorously. 

“Ready for me too, sweet girl?” He asks, thumb rubbing gently against your cheek. You respond by opening your mouth, your tongue hanging out, inviting Eddie’s cock back in. 

Eddie thinks about chastising you for not using your words, but decides that can wait for another time. He instead gently grabs the back of your head, angling it back towards him and thrusting slowly into your eagerly awaiting lips. 

You moan around Eddie’s length, the overwhelming sensations of Steve’s tongue circling your clit, his lips sucking gently on you every now and then, his fingers thrusting, curling and stretching you and the weight of Eddie’s cock restringing dizzyingly against your tongue, dragging over it and slipping slightly down your throat becoming all too much. 

But you never want it to stop. 

Steve is completely lost in you, your taste, your smell, the beautiful sounds you're making all because of him. He’s been desperate since he got you in his lap, this just sending him into a frenzy, straining to keep his control so as to not overwhelm you and completely in awe of how well you’re doing. He can’t help but grind against the bed, right in time with the thrusting of his fingers, imagining it was his cock stuffed deep inside you instead. 

He looks up at you, completely mesmerised by the way you’re taking Eddie’s cock so well. How hot you look with your eyes half lidded, staring up at Eddie, drool coating the corner of your mouth and no doubt the other side he can’t see.

Eddie looks just as beautiful, his long waves cascading down his back and sticking to his forehead. His eyes are screwed shut, brows furrowed and Steve can tell he’s trying so hard to be gentle with you, knowing just how hard Eddie usually likes it. It has his dick throbbing, begging for release. 

He’s so lost in you both that he doesn’t realise he’s starting to rut against the bed faster and consequently, fingering you faster as well. 

You feel Steve speed up, the dizzying pleasure causing you to choke on Eddie again. You moan at the feeling, already addicted to the feeling of gagging on Eddie’s thick cock.  

You’re somewhat annoyed when you feel Eddie start to pull away again, no doubt to check on you once again. Although you appreciate how caring and gentle they are being, you feel like you might die if he pulls away again. 

You quickly grab the back of his thigh, pulling it closer to you again and making you gag as Eddie wasn't expecting the force in which you pulled him closer. You moan again at the feeling. 

“Oh fuck sweetheart,” Eddie moans, “you like that huh? Like choking on my cock baby?” 

Both you and Steve moan at his words, you moaning out a “mmhmm” as best you can around his cock. 

“Shit look at our dirty fucking girl, Stevie,” he continues, stomach muscles contracting from his fast approaching orgasm whenever you gag and moan around his length. 

Eddie throws his head back as he feels you bob your head in time with his thrusts, taking him deeper in your throat than he thought you would be able to. 

“Jesus Christ sweetheart, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he almost whimpers breathlessly. The moan that leaves your lips at his statement is pornographic, sending Eddie hurdling faster towards his orgasm. 

“You like that huh? Want me to cum in this slutty throat?” He asks, and he’s met with more moans and gags. 

He cant take it anymore, your mouth feels absolutely sinful. He grabs your hair harder, still trying his best to be gentle with you but failing slightly. He makes the mistake of looking down, he’s met with your half closed, beautiful eyes staring up at him as his cock disappears between your lips and the image of Steve being completely lost in your pussy, rutting shamelessly against the bed as his hand grips your thigh. 

Those two things are what finally sends him hurdling over the edge. 

“Oh god just like that y/n, oh fuck, m’gonna — I’m gonna fucking cum, shit-” Eddie cums with a silent moan, hips stilling completely, one first balled by his side, the other tangled in your hair. It takes everything in him to keep still while you gladly milk him dry with your mouth, moaning at the taste. 

When Eddie feels his orgasm subsiding he quickly pulls out of your mouth with a pop, the feeling verging on overstimulating. 

The feeling of Eddie’s thick ropes of cum covering your tongue and sliding down your throat are enough to bring you to the brink of your second orgasm of the night. As soon as Eddie’s cock leaves your mouth you throw your head back, moans and whimpers now free to spill past your swollen lips. 

Eddie bends down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, tasting himself on your tongue as you moan into each other's mouths. You break away as Steve starts to suck on your clit, hard, your hand coming down to tangle in his caramel locks as you make eye contact with the sweet boy between your legs. 

“Oh fuck, Steve I’m so close,” you practically scream, “Your tongue is so good, fuck your fingers are so thick it’s so good, fuck you’re stretching me out so good baby.” 

Steve and Eddie moan at your words, surprised but pleased with how wrecked they’ve gotten you, so much so that you finally seem to have no problem telling them exactly how you feel. All previous anxieties melted away as your brain fogs and your legs start to shake. 

They can tell you’re right on the edge. Eddie leans down slightly, bracing you with a hand on your back to keep you upright as your arms start to wobble, pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder as he mumbles encouragements and praises of ‘good girl, we’ve got you, come on and let go for us, make a mess of Stevies pretty face like you did mine.’ 

Your orgasm crashes into you and you soak Steve's face with a pleasured scream. Your whole body shakes and your vision blurs, you’re thankful for Eddie holding you up or else you feel as though you’d sink through the mattress. 

Feeling you clench around his fingers and tasting your cum has Steve cumming as well, he hadn’t realised just how worked up he’d gotten until it was too late and he was cumming in his pants like a teenager. He groans into your cunt, continuing to lick and finger you through both of your orgasms. 

“I think that’s enough Steve,” you both barely hear Eddie. Steve had gotten so lost in his own orgasm he hadn’t thought to ease you through yours, thankfully though, he hears Eddie enough and does stop, and you finally start to catch your breath. 

You slowly start to open your eyes, blinking at the brightness, your vision finally focusing again. You see Steve between your legs still, resting his head on one of your thighs as he massages the other, staring up at you lovingly. 

“Welcome back little one,” you hear Eddie whisper as he continues to plant soft kisses on your shoulder and rub your back. 

“Hey,” you say with a giggle, “damn that was… intense.” 

“It wasn’t too much?” Steve asks you. 

“Definitely not,” you reply. 

“Good,” Eddie replies for him. You all stay like that for a second, all basking in the afterglow of your orgasms and the boys letting you come down from your high further. 

After a couple of moments you feel a slight change in Eddie’s demeanour. Unbeknownst to you Eddie had realised Steve had cum while eating you out. And there was no way Eddie was going to pass up the opportunity to ‘punish’ him for it.   

“Now,” he starts, “can you move over here for me, gorgeous?” He asks, gently moving you up and over so you're now on one side of the bed instead of the middle, your head resting gently on the pillows. 

You turn to get a better view of what Eddie’s planning, grabbing a pillow and hugging it between your arms, resting on your stomach with one leg bent, your chin dipping into the pillow in your arms. 

Steve was quick to hop up when Eddie moved you, now sitting on his knees, his hands resting perfectly on his thighs. He looks almost submissive, you think, no doubt sensing the change in Eddie too. 

Eddie crawls back over to the younger man, kneeling in front and towering over him, using his pointer finger to tilt Steve’s head back to look him in the eyes. 

“Poor little Stevie,” he says with a fake pout, “cumming in his pants like a teenager again from the pretty sounds our y/n was making huh?” 

You don’t miss how your heart leaps at Eddie calling you our y/n, but you’re way more preoccupied on the fact that you made the Steve Harrington cum in his jeans. 

“You did?” You ask in surprise, sitting up as much as your laxed body will let you. 

Steve nods sheepishly in return, avoiding eye contact as his head drops. Eddie is quick to grab his chin harshly, forcing Steve’s eyes back on him “She asked you a question,” he hisses. 

“Yes, I did.” Steve says, eyes never leaving the metalheads black orbs. 

Eddie tuts in return, “What are we gonna do with you huh?” He asks rhetorically, “Lie down.”

Steve obeys quickly, coming to lie next to, but still slightly away from you. You’re completely hypnotised by the dynamic and how they're acting. You’ve heard all of their stories of doing scenes where they’re ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’, but seeing what you’re pretty sure is Eddie being Dominant while Steve is Submissive for him is something entirely different. 

If it didn’t feel like your whole lower body was numb, you know you’d be feeling your heartbeat in your core at the sight in front of you. 

You watch as Eddie undoes Steve’s jeans, pulling them and his boxers down in one go, Steve’s half hard, sticky length resting against his tight stomach. Steve whines as it comes in contact with the cool air, finally free from the confines of his tight jeans after what seems like hours. 

Eddie is quick to take Steve firmly in his grasp, slowly tugging on him as Steve hisses, whimpers and squirms under his touch. 

“Shit, Eddie, fuck, ‘s sensitive,” Steve whines out, trying to squirm away from Eddie’s grip. 

“Ah ah baby,” Eddie tuts, snaking his other hand around Steve’s back, circling his hips and pulling him back closer, holding him down. He leans out and spits on the head of Steve's dick, the drool dripping down onto Eddie's fingers as he continues to pump Steve. 

Eddie slowly licks the head of Steve’s length, groaning at the leftover taste of his cum before suckling lightly on the head. Steve continues to squirm. Even the light touches making him thrash in Eddie’s hold. 

Eddie finally starts to take Steve in his mouth, causing Steve’s hands to shoot out. One almost ripping a hole in your bed cover, the other trying to pull Eddie off by his hair. 

Eddie pulls off of Steve with a chuckle, grabbing Steve;s hand and holding it still by his side with the arm that's still behind Steve’s back. 

“God you’re such a fucking brat, hold still,” Eddie hisses. The words give you butterflies and they're not even directed towards you. 

You watch as Eddie continues to suck Steve off, their moans and Steve's whimpers completely hypnotising but as you continue to watch them interact you can’t help the annoying words of self doubt that start to creep into your mind. 

The smile on Eddie's face when he was telling Steve what to do and the look on Steve’s face as it contorts in so much pleasure, as he’s giggling and whining and moaning at the overstimulation. It seems carefree, like they are not having to hold back with each other, like they know the other person can actually handle what they're doing, not having to check in every 5 seconds because they know the other would be able to tell them to stop if needed. 

It looks fun. So much more fun than what they’ve been doing with you. 

Steve cries out as Eddie lightly plays with his balls, his second orgasm fast approaching. They can feel your eyes glued to them, knowing your watching only egging them on more, adding to the pleasure they are both feeling. God, they can’t wait to do this with you, but they know you need some more time before they can. 

They don’t care though, they're willing to wait for as long as you need. 

You watch as Steve’s hips start to meet Eddie’s pace, thrusting fast into his mouth. You watch in awe as Eddie hardly even gags, managing a lot better than you did. You look at how much more Steve is enjoying this, so much more than when Eddie had to hold back to show you how to suck Steve’s dick. How boring is it going to be for them when they take your virginity? 

“Fuck, Eddie I’m gonna cum, you want it huh? Wanna taste my cum?” Steve tries to tease, earning himself a smack on the thigh from Eddie. The sting only turns him on more. 

“Shit, yeah like that, exactly like that, oh my go-,” Steve cries out as he cums, thrashing even more in Eddie’s grip as he fights away and towards the pleasure. Eddie gives Steve mercy, barely sucking on him and stopping as soon as he’s sure Steve’s finished cumming. 

Eddie is quick to crawl up to Steve, crashing their lips together in a sloppy kiss. You watch behind hooded eyes as they swap fluids between their mouths, the pink of Steve’s tongue poking out to lave at Eddie’s, swallowing drops of his own cum. 

Steve’s the first to break away, “Okay that’s enough, fuck,” he pants, flopping back onto the bed, “gonna make me pass out Eds.” 

Eddie hops up, stretching as he chuckles at you both, tired and spent on the bed. 

“C’mon,” he murmurs fondly, tapping Steve’s thigh, cocking his head in your direction “we gotta get this one to bed.” 

They both look at you as you give them a tired smile, all negative thoughts gone from your head as their kind eyes meet yours. It's much easier to just be here with them anyway, for now at least. 

“‘M’not even tired,” you slur purposely with a giggle. 

“Mhmm sure, sure,” Eddie replies, coming around your side of the bed before picking you up bridal style, laughing at the small scream you let out as he picks you up. 

“Eddieeee,” you complain half heartedly, wrapping your arms around him and snuggling into his neck as he starts to walk you down your hallway to the bathroom “I can walk myself.”

“Honestly princess I don't know if you can.” He tuts. 

“Yeah, I mean I did make you cum pretty hard, way harder than Eddie did at least,” Steve teases as he follows you both. Yours, his and Eddie’s pjs in his hands.  Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve playfully as you giggle at their teasing, squealing as Eddie pops you down on the cold bench. 

“Eds, ‘s cold,” you pout. 

“I know baby just one sec, gotta get the shower ready for you.”

As soon as Eddie and Steve decide that the shower is the perfect temperature (with more bickering of course) they pop you on your feet, being extra doting as they make sure you can stand and taking their time to wash your body and hair for you. 

As much as you try to bury it, your insecurities arise again, thinking about how much more wrecked you are compared to Steve and how he doesn’t need his body washed for him because his arms feel like jelly. 

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie and Steve are absolutely loving this. Getting to touch your body, pamper you, be soft with you. It feels just as soothing to them as they hope it does to you. It’s something they never get when they are working: intimacy. It’s fun and they always unwind with the actors after, to make sure everything was okay and they enjoyed themselves but it's not like this. It's not with you. 

You all crawl into your bed after the shower. Getting cosy with each other just like you did last time. Eddie on his side facing you and Steve, you in the middle again, your head against Eddie’s chest and Steve’s head just above yours on Eddie’s arm, almost tucked under Eddie’s chin, his arm slung tightly over your waist. Eddie’s arm that’s under Steve’s head is bent as he plays with Steve’s hair, his other hand resting on the side of your face, playing with your hair and stroking your cheek, soothing both of you. 

It doesn’t take long for you and Steve to drift off to sleep, Eddie still playing with both of your hair. He watches you both, fondness and sadness settling in his stomach. 

He cares about you both so much, never wanting these moments with you both to end. But he knows they have to, he knows one day these moments will end for good. When he and Steve have shown you all they can. When your confidence is up and you finally find someone who treats you right, someone you deserve. And when Steve finds another girl who loves him better than Nancy ever could. 

He knows you’ll both move on from this, from him some day. Eddie knows he should move on from this too, but how could he? When the only things he's ever wanted are cuddling up to him as they sleep softly in his arms. 

*****

You sigh in frustration, pulling a pillow over your head and letting out a groan. You peek out from under it to see the time, your clock reading 12:03am, way past when you wanted to go to sleep… and meaning you’ve been trying to make yourself cum for over 2 hours. 

This is the third time you’ve tried to make yourself cum after your last encounter with the boys last week. The week before was so easy, you were able to make yourself cum in no time and practically whenever you wanted thanks to the boys (and the memory of their pretty moans). 

But now, everytime you start to get close your head, of course, wanders to the sight of Steve’s cock shoved down Eddie’s throat. A sight which would have had you cumming in 30 seconds in the past but instead it just raises those awful thoughts of how much more fun they seemed to have without you. How much easier it was for them to just have fun together without having to worry. How it must be so boring with you. 

You admit your defeat, getting yourself dressed and dramatically flopping back into bed. Your mind swims with a billion thoughts. You’re nervous about seeing them again tomorrow, even more so because of how weird the morning after was.

Something was off. Mainly with Eddie, you couldn’t put your finger on what but he just didn’t seem like the overly flirty, annoyingly confident, super sweet guy he usually was. Steve had noticed it too, finally asking Eddie what his deal was. 

“Just tired I guess,” he’d replied with a shrug, “Didn’t completely pass out like you two, I mean I only got to cum once last night.” He had joked, with not enough enthusiasm in his voice. 

You remember slumping in your seat, thinking of how much more fun he would have had if you weren’t so tired, maybe you could’ve made him cum again, or made him cum harder if you’d sucked his dick better or if only you could’ve made him cum again as you rode him. 

You push your palms into your eyes. Trying to squeeze the negative thoughts out of your brain. 

It doesn’t help that you never really talked about what to expect tomorrow. You’d tried to bring it up and Steve had seemed keen to talk about it but the conversation never really went anywhere. The idea of the next time being you losing your virginity had been floated around but nothing had really been decided. But they hadn't said no. 

The nerves of losing my virginity tomorrow, maybe, must just be getting the better of me, you decided. Yes you're obviously less experienced than them but they knew that from the start. They knew what it was going to be like with you and they agreed, they wanted this. 

A thought you’d been reasoning with all week. One that at least seems to help you finally get some rest. A thought that seems to be overcome by your insecure thoughts as soon as you wake up. 

You finally close your eyes, sleep slowly pulling you in as you hold on to one thing: Surely they’d tell you if they weren’t enjoying it anymore, right?

*****

Steve jumps into Eddie’s van with an extra pep in his step, overly excited to spend another fun night with his two favourite people. He greets Eddie with an excited hey man, but only gets a grunt of a hey in return. 

“Whoa, what's up with you, cranky pants?” Steve teases, face turning serious when Eddie doesn’t reply, instead keeping his eyes strained on the road. 

“Hey, Eddie,” he tried again, softer this time, worry evident in his voice, “talk to be babe, what's wrong?” 

Eddie doesn’t miss how Steve calling him babe sets butterflies off in his stomach. Butterflies that die and wither in the depths of his chest when he thinks about what he’s about to say next. 

“It’s just… all wrong,” Eddie whispers, the right words not coming to him. 

“What's ‘all wrong’?” Steve replies, tone serious and soft as he places his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, waiting patiently as Eddie tries to gather his thoughts. 

“Just this whole arrangement, it’s… just not how it was supposed to go.” Eddie tries to explain, hoping Steve won’t make him say it. 

“I understand, it’s moving too fast huh?” Steve tries, thinking he’s understanding what Eddie means. 

“Yeah I mean, I guess.” Eddie sighs, Steve’s just not quite getting it, “I just wanted things to be different with her and w-with you.” 

Eddie holds his breath, hoping Steve is understanding now. 

“I understand Eddie,” Steve whispers, “just tell her how you feel, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Really?” Eddie asks, he thought Steve would be more upset about him wanting to stop, “You’re sure she won’t be mad?”

“Of course not Eddie!” Steve replies, “ Trust me she won’t mind”. I mean what’s another week Steve thinks… still not quite getting what Eddie means. 

***** 

You race to the door like you always do, excited to see your boys but also nervous that if you don’t get this over and done with you’ll end up pretending you aren't home. The nerves from last night still swimming around in your head. 

As you open the door you throw yourself into Steve’s arms as he was closest to the door, him returning the hug with  the same enthusiasm. However when you go to hug Eddie it feels like you’re hugging a brick wall. You step back from him awkwardly, looking at the way too forced smile on his face.

“Hey, are you okay?” You ask sweetly, and god it almost kills him, knowing you have no idea what's about to come. 

“Yeah, fine.” He says unconvincingly. He’s about to tell you but it seems wrong, he needs a second to collect himself first. “Just, um, need to go to the bathroom.” He grumbles at himself, slightly shoving past you and down the hall. 

You look at Steve, confused. 

“Is he okay?” You ask. 

“Yeah he’s alright, he um, we just need to talk to you honey.” He says sweetly, too sweetly, and with a hint of condescension. 

Oh no.

Your mind goes full throttle on all of the horrible insecure thoughts you’ve been having for the past week. We need to talk. You knew it, you knew they were sick of you!

Okay, okay, you tell yourself, it’s probably nothing, just hear them out. Trying your best to try and calm down before you have a full blown panic attack. 

Steve can tell you’re getting nervous, he’s about to lead you over to the couch, reassure you, he’ll you can’t down so you can all talk about this calmly but Eddie comes back before he has a chance. 

“This needs to stop.” Is all Eddie says as he enters the room, arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face. 

When those words leave Eddie’s lips you feel weirdly calm, you were right, they are sick of you. All of the insecure voices stop, why would you need them now anyway when they were right all along. 

You just scoff at him, mirroring his body language. 

“J-just for like the week though right?” Steve asks, confused, this isn’t what he thought Eddie meant in the car. 

“No,” Eddie replies, “I mean for good.”

Steve is surprised and a bit hurt, but if Eddie isn’t comfortable doing this anymore then yes they should probably stop. 

They both look at you, waiting for your reaction. 

“I fucking knew it,” you finally reply with a roll of your eyes. 

“You knew it?” Eddie replies with some malice in his voice, confused as to why this is your reaction. He didn’t want to hurt you but he had hoped there was some part of you that was as upset about this stopping as he was. 

“Yeah. I knew you guys were getting fucking bored, I could tell cause you were using your porn star ‘acting’ on me”. Okay, ouch, that was maybe too far. But right now you didn’t care. How could you care when the two people you cared about most were standing in front of you and telling you all the horrible things you had been thinking were true. 

They don't want you. 

“Pornstar acting?” Eddie practically spits. 

“Yeah,” you continue, on a roll now and being consumed by your anger, “I could tell you were faking it; you’re both not that good.” 

They both look at you, shocked and a little hurt. You start to feel bad but before you can apologise Eddie opens his big mouth again. 

“Yeah? Well you didn’t seem to be complaining about our ‘pornstar acting’ when you were fucking screaming our names.” 

“Eddie,” Steve tries, trying to stop this before it gets too out of control, but Eddie interrupts him. 

“Besides, do you think anyone else would do this with you? Who else would’ve taken care of you like how I’ve had to all these years?” His anger completely taking over at your completely unfair reaction. 

“I knew it!” You practically scream, “I knew you resented having to ‘take care of me’ all those years in highschool! I wish you never had then!” You mean that you wish Eddie wouldn't have if he was just going to resent you for it, but to Eddie it sounds like you wish you hadn’t been friends for all these years, that you regret his friendship. 

“Oh really?” Eddie retaliates, “Who were you gonna hang out with instead? King Steve?” 

Steve looks at Eddie in shock, how is any of this his fault? 

You scoff at him again, “At least I wouldn't have had to hang out with the freak.”

That statement shoots right to Eddie’s heart, completely ripping it to shreds. He was right, he really was just a third wheel, this whole time. No wonder you were so nervous to hang out with Steve all those years ago. He was a fool to think that maybe he had a chance, you were friends for all of highschool, if you wanted him you would have made a move, gave some sort of indication you felt the same, but you never did.

“Yeah and Steve and his fuckwits were better?” He asks, expression cold and unforgiving. 

“At least I wouldn’t have been bullied everyday.”

“Yeah you would’ve been the bully!” Eddie shouts. 

Steve, having been silent in shock this whole fight finally pipes up at that, hurt and anger running cold through his veins as well, “Whoa whoa, that’s not fair, we weren’t bullies?!”

“Yes you were!” Eddie and you shout at the same time. 

“You and your whole group made my life awful,” you add, just to add to the pain from you that Steve was already feeling. 

There's silence that seems to stretch on for eternity. You and Eddie are breathing heavily, angry at everyone and especially yourselves. Steve feels like he's standing on the outside, he’s tried for years to get rid of his reputation from highschool, he thought you and Eddie understood that. 

“Don’t try to stand here and say that the only reason you never got fucked in highschool was because you hung out with me,” Eddie finally breaks the silence.

“That was all you baby,” Steve mumbles, eyes cast downward, the baby coming out like an insult. 

What would he know? You think angrily.  

“God I'm so sorry for having standards Steve and not wanting to be another one of your conquests or something.” 

“Well at least you wouldn’t have been a fucking virgin in your twenties.” He spits back at you. 

Too far Eddie thinks, his anger now being directed towards Steve, as if he knew what it was like for you and him during high school, “Oh yeah, and being one of the many girls you fucked and got rid of is better?” 

Of course, Steve rolls his eyes, he can dish it out to her but as soon as I say one thing i'm the bad guy he thinks 

“You're just pissed ‘cause you never made a move.” 

‘Made a move’? What does Steve even mean by that? It's stupid, you know it is, but there's a little part of you that perks up at that, some part of your broken heart holds on to just a sliver of hope. Did Eddie want to make a move on you all those years ago? 

“I would never do that.” Eddie says with no emotion, tone final. She's my best friend, she's so much more than that he should have added, but he didn’t. Instead it comes across like he's disgusted. Like the mere thought of ever asking you out makes him want to gag.  

“Wow thanks Eddie, cause you’re such a catch,” you spit back. 

Steve laughs at that, boy he really was wrong, he really felt like such a third wheel this whole time, he really thought you would’ve jumped to date Eddie given the chance but maybe not. 

But of course Steve’s laugh comes across like he agrees, like he also thinks Eddie wouldn’t stand a chance with you. Eddie’s face falls at that. The look on his face making you just as mad with Steve. 

“Don't act like you’re any better,” you retort. Like he wouldn’t have just flirted, seduced, fucked and left you if it wasn’t for Eddie. 

“You’ve always been closer with Eddie! You only barely tolerated me for him.” Steve’s completely taken aback by that, is that how you really felt? All this time while you were one of Steve's closest friends you thought that he only tolerated you?

“That's not true.” He says through a clenched jaw. 

“If it wasn’t for Eddie you would look at me like you look at all the other conquests, remember when we first met and you couldn’t stop flirting?” You ask, tone condescending, Steve does remember, “It was only when Eddie told you to stop that you actually treated me like a person.”

“What and Eddie was treating you like a person this whole time?” Steve shouldn’t say this, god he knows he shouldn’t, “The whole time through high school everyone thought you were fucking, anybody who even dared look at you was met with a deathstare from Eddie. He acted like you were his fucking property.” 

What? You physically recoil backwards at his words. There’s no way anyone thought that right? You feel like you’re back in high school, everytime everyone looked at you weird, was that why? Because they thought you were just Eddie Munson’s slut? 

Eddie sees red at Steve’s word and especially the reaction you had to them. “That's bullshit and you know it, Harrington. At least I’m not revelling in the fact that I finally get to fuck a virgin unlike all of those other easy girls you got with.” 

Your head feels like it's spinning, you could be physically sick at their words. Is that a thing? Do people like ‘getting with virgins’? Is that all they saw this as?

“What, so I was just a fetish to you both this whole time?” You mean for it to come out angry but there’s a wobble in your voice, “You’re both fucking freaks.” 

The insult hits harder for Eddie than it does Steve, who’s started to notice the cracks in your anger. Before he can think the words are spilling out of his mouth “At least I’m not a freak who's still a virgin in her twenties, it’s not cool to be such a cocktease at your age.”

That reignites a little bit of anger in you, enough for you to push down the tears that are threatening to fall for a little while longer. “At least I didn't flunk high school and have to become a pornstar in my twenties to get by. Is swinging your dicks around all you two are good at?”

Eddie and Steve look like you just punched them both in the face. They’ve had to deal with a lot of judgement from a lot of people for doing what they do, they’ve both lost friendships and relationships over this. But you were always there for them, the whole time and you never once judged them. Until now.  

“God, you’re such a bitch,” Eddie sighs, shaking his head, “no wonder your last boyfriend dumped you.” 

That. That was it. Right there. The last thing you could handle from them both as a single tear slipped down your cheek. Causing a tiny sliver of regret to wash over Eddie and Steve instantly. 

“Get out,” you say, voice wavering as you try to keep it together, not wanting them to see you cry. 

“What?” They both ask softly. 

“I said get out.” You repeat, slightly more sure of yourself this time, “I don't want to see you, either of you anymore, being your friend has been painful enough.” 

You don't mean to let that last part slip but you can’t stop it. It’s true, having to be so close to them yet so far, having to watch them flirt and go home with other girls, having to listen to their relationship troubles and about all of the films they’ve stared in, it’s been hell. 

You thought you were doing a good job of pushing your feelings down this whole time, but deciding to fool around with them, to maybe lose your virginity to them, it was a mistake. Getting to touch them the way you’ve wanted to for years made all of your feelings arise. Yet you hadn’t realised just how much you were falling for them, not until they were yanked away from you once again. This time further than they had been before. 

Your words don’t convey the emotions you were hoping they would, instead it sounded like you regretted being their friend because you didn’t like them, not because you were falling for them. 

Eddie scoffs, “Don’t act like it’s been any easier for us.” You don’t realise it, but his words hold the same meaning as yours do. But instead, like yours, his words come across as a rejection.

It couldn’t have been easy being friends with someone as shy as you, someone as needy as you, someone who hangs on their every word and someone who is a loser virgin in their twenties is what you think Eddie means. 

The rejection is enough for the dam to finally break, your bottom lip wobbling as you fail to try to stop your tears from flowing freely down your cheeks. Before you can stop yourself a sob rips it way out of you, your arms instinctively wrapping around yourself for some sort of comfort. 

You look so small, helpless and broken, they think. Looking at you, their girl, their y/n, being so distraught because of them, it makes them regret everything. They should've told you no, they should’ve figured out another way for you to lose your virginity, or maybe done it with less emotion. They should’ve stopped themselves from falling so hard for you and each other. 

Eddie rakes his fingers through his hair in defeat. He feels helpless, he’d promised you all those years ago to protect you and he’d failed. He steps toward you slowly, hands out as if you were a scared little animal, and to be honest, you looked like one right now. 

“Little one,” he whispers as he steps closer, hoping the old nickname will bring you some kind of comfort. 

“Don’t.” You snap at him before he gets a chance to say anything else, finally meeting his eyes, the hurt written all over your face, “You don’t get to call me that anymore, I want you to leave.” You manage to say in between sobs. 

“Honey,” Steve tries, both of them hating the thought of leaving you alone when you’re like this. 

“Just get out!” You yell, arms flailing. You look at them both when they don’t move, “Please.” You whisper, eyes begging. You couldn’t bare to be around them for another second. The two people who have always made you calm and happy now just felt like an intrusion in your space. You needed them gone. 

They finally nod, their shoulders slumping in defeat as they slowly make their way to the front door. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. 

*****

It’s been almost a year now since that night, and just as long since you’ve seen Eddie and Steve.

Taglist: @pxrxcxa @eddiemunsonfuxks @translatemunson @bandofoxxking @corrodedcherry @corrodedhawkins @chainsawmunson @divinelyruled @parkermunson

[leakypizza]

lets get perrsonal questions or whaveterver

i wanted to make a question tag but feral and this is what i came up with. tag ur friends, tag ur enemies, but most importantly give me a kiss at ur earliest convenience.

thank u @cl0wnapologist i love u molly

1. say hi! :D (name/age/pronouns)

hello i am jillian also referred to as jill and sometimes jill beans im 20 and my pronouns are she/her

2. what’s your venus sign? <3

aquarius <3 i will never experience love

3. would you rather people perceive you as the person you present to the world or your true self? are they the same?

it would be cool for people to see me as my true self but im kinda fuckin wack,,, not in a way like “im not like other girls” like as in wow im just wack as fuck idk. i think i am more my true self at this point in my life than i was before which is cool but i feel really alienated from other people u know? gotta switch to sorority girl sometimes its just more convenient to pretend to be someone else

4. what do you prioritize in your relationships—how well someone treats you or how much you like them?

mmm i feel like how much i like them matters because i dont like anyone so that’s like step 1, and they also probably shouldn’t treat me like shit but i tend to let people do that so i just don’t have relationships

5. what’s the most embarrassing fanfic you’ve ever read?

jokes on you i never read fanfiction as a youth!

6. would you rather be fluent in every language or a master of every instrument? if you could only pick one of each what would it be?

probably every language but i would like to be slick with the guitar

7. share some of your favorite characters!

ymir from attack on titan because i vaguely look like her and she is bitch lesbian. also probably every female from attack on titan. i also am a fan of asuka and misato from nge, and tamaki from ouran. also probably i could go on but i will spare you bc this is embarassing

8. what’s a niche interest/subject you could write a 12-page essay on?

sex education and i have written multiple 10+ page essays on it in fact

also probably astrology i did make a 52 slide presentation on the basics of it which is the most capricorn thing i have ever done

9. what are you missing the most right now?

making new friends but also having friends who have the same interests as me specifically molly and alyssa :(

10. hottest non-human animated character? (ex. zootopia fox, ryuk from death note, aunt fanny from robots)

WHY IS RYUK YOUR EXAMPLE

the female titan but not annie just like the actual titan 

the war hammer titan as well shes so sexy

11. share some of your old urls/handles/usernames (i’m looking at u, 1D insta with 70 followers from 2013)

lets not bring this up :) 

12. what’s a favorite physical feature of yourself? what are some favorite physical features of your friends/loved ones?

my personal favorite feature is my boobies not because they look good but because they are soft and squishy and are my own little stress balls. i have been told i have good teeth tho but my ex said that so it doesnt count

and i love molly’s long ass thick ass hair and her laugh and pretty smile and i love how alyssa has very pretty eyes and skin idk how to describe and bof of their styles are amazing

13. what’s a favorite personality trait of yours? of your friends/loved ones?

there is nothing good about my personality

bUt molly has the best sense of humor in the world and alyssa is the most caring woman her intuition makes her insults towards me so spicy i love it

14. describe a recent time someone made you feel loved/valued

when alyssa gave me a pusheen squishmallow for my birthday

15. what’s the most embarrassing character you’ve been attracted to?

akira from devilman which ik isn’t embarassing bc hes hot but like...,,,, specifically the ceiling scene

16. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (complimentary)

made frog cakes with @cl0wnapologist and @lesbianspongeb0b while watching ouran highschool host club

17. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (derogatory)

when my friends were saying what sport we seem like we wouldve played in high school and all my friends said i would’ve played softball <3

18. what are your comfort movies/shows/books/foods?

movies: spongebob, ratatouille, spirited away

shows: ouran, kids baking championship, free!

books: my anatomy textbook

foods: everything. lately it’s been chocolate peanut butter soup which is a monstrosity i created while high but u know what it slaps

19. last 5 things you looked up in your youtube search bar/history?

rice krispie treats , brown butter rice krispie treats , binging with babish rice krispie treats , rice krispie treats without marshmallows , and attack on titan abridged

(i was craving them one night ok chill)

20. should we kiss rn? :*

i’ve been waiting for u to ask

idk if i have any active mutuals left so i’m not tagging anyone lmao

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.