#mm psychology

[wander-wren]

i have so many thoughts about how the anti-fandom (particularly anti-fanfic) crowd nearly ALWAYS derides fanfic for being sexual. i noticed it the first time in this video essay (linked to the relevant segment), and now i see it everywhere.

under a cut for being long as hell and also discussing nsfw topics. if you are a minor, here’s your warning. thanks.

if you don’t want to watch the video, let me just tell you that the first three quotes included mention “voltron fetish porn,” “larry stylinson mpreg” and a coffee shop slow burn (omg, are we not going to talk about sex this ti-) “where the climax is an entire chapter of two guys fucking.”

ah, there it is.

and like, yeah, those fics exist. a lot of them probably don’t have a ton of literary value. do you think mass market erotica that all has the same shirtless dude on the cover has a ton of literary value?

(both of those things do have value, though. it’s seriously okay to read something for fun. i promise. it doesn’t have to have themes or be #deep.)

and on the one hand these people are clearly naming these specific examples partially as shock value. OBVIOUSLY no one who says dante’s inferno is fanfic (it’s not—which is the point of the video essay and a different topic entirely) is putting it on the same level as “voltron fetish porn.” obviously a non-fandom person, seeing that, is going to be disgusted and agree with you, probably.

but it also just speaks to the general idea that sex has no inherent value. it’s the same attitude that wants to cut “unnecessary” sex scenes from traditional original fiction, since ofc sex never moves the plot along in any way ever.

and that’s stupid! that’s fucking stupid. you’re going to tell me that every other human activity is poetic and important and beautiful but sex, for whatever reason, needs to be hidden and never talked about and is not any of those things. no.

and for the record i’m saying this as an asexual (sex-favorable) person, if for some reason that matters. i don’t know. i don’t think all or even most stories should have explicit sex scenes in them. i just think it’s a neutral or even positive thing when they do. and not all smutty fanfic is automatically meaningless.

in some fics, the sex is the point. like, sometimes it’s about the vulnerability. do i have to bring out thrust issues I WILL BRING OUT THRUST ISSUES. fuckit. you get to listen to me talk about it.

Thrust Issues is a marvel (stevetony) fic by Sineala that i read for the first time as a freshman in high school bc that’s what you get with unsupervised internet access. it’s not the worst thing i read at that age. anyway.

the fic is crack-treated-seriously, so keep that in mind. the premise goes that after an extremely rough mission, the avengers return to the tower only to be attacked hours later. steve was incredibly sleep-deprived and doesn’t hear the alarm, so tony goes to wake him and accidentally gets an eyeful of a sleeps-naked steve and his extremely naked extremely huge dick. after the fight they talk it out. steve admits that he doesn’t have penetrative sex because Dick Too Big.

tony, being in love with steve, offers to help a pal out by training himself to take steve’s monster cock. steve, being in love with tony, assumes this is the closest thing to a relationship he’s going to get and agrees. thus ensues the stupidest friends-with-benefits arrangement ever.

and that sounds silly and dumb and not at all profound, right?

but listen. friends with benefits is a ripe trope for this. because you have the intimacy, you have this vulnerability, and in thrust issues it is specifically an intimacy that steve has not had with other people, in a context that has usually been uncomfortable for him in the past.

you have your rules. it’s not real if you don’t kiss, until in the heat of the moment you can’t help it. it’s not real if you don’t use pet names, until one slips out and no one acknowledges it because no one wants to know if it was an accident or really meant.

you keep this arrangement out of your work life until you realize your lives are even more entangled than before and suddenly your reputations and lives are on the line because you get distracted. until suddenly one of you is being blackmailed and you don’t have an alibi because your alibi is your fuckbuddy.

until one of you isn’t out. and you’re not sure you can come out.

until you don’t know if your lunch date is a date date. until the lines blur and you don’t know what’s going on anymore. until you’re both each other’s best relationship and the whole thing is a lie, an experiment.

until someone blurts “i love you” in the middle of sex and you have to convince yourself that it’s not real, just hormones, but it was real and now they think you don’t love them back.

anyway that’s thrust issues. it’s a wild ride of a fic that has made me cry. steve and tony are already balancing secret identities and tony is balancing a huge amount of corporate stress re: blackmail and now they have this beautiful, awful extra secret on top and everything tangles together until it collapses. and none of it would work if half of it wasn’t gratuitous sex scenes.

do i need to bring up Bonnie & Klein? fine, i’ll do that too. it’s a BNHA (bakudeku) fic by surveycorpsjean where 20yo bkdk get thrust ten years into the future and do selfcest with their future selves. super not valuable and totally weird, amirite.

except it’s about seeing that your future is everything you’ve ever wanted, while the person who is supposed to make it happen seems disgusted. it’s about the relationship between your current self and your past. it’s about insecurities and hurting people before they can hurt you and coming back together anyway. it’s quite literally about self love. it’s about using sex to break down emotional walls and get important messages into stupid dumb thick skulls. it’s about knowing that this future isn’t guaranteed, but it is possible. hope.

and it is also about seeing two different versions of your local super hot hero couple bang. they are not mutually exclusive.

that one also makes me cry. partially because i’m a trans person with a fraught relationship to my past self. god. the fucking care that older deku takes with younger deku. they way that it’s so clearly helpful for both pairings, because the older ones are able to see their own growth. i sob when i get to the last chapter. i’m sorry i got off track i just had to wax poetic about this fic. actually i’m not sorry fuck you it’s important to me. and again, the sex is the point. it could be done without it, but a lot of the emotional impact would be lessened.

(i don’t even know how controversial selfcest is tbh. where’s that poll about fucking your clone.)

i already wrote about other popular smut tropes in fanfiction and the way they deal with gender and sex and consent.

i’m sorry if you think sex is dirty and bad and wrong or that kink is freak shit. i’m sorry you’re boring and unimaginative. i’m sorry there’s a whole world of meaning you’re ignoring.

i’m not saying all smutty fanfic is beautiful works of art that belong in a museum, or even that most of it is. i’m saying it’s stupid to dismiss an entire category of fanfic, or fanfic AS A WHOLE, because sometimes porn is just porn. lots of not-fanfic things are just porn for the sake of porn. it’s okay. you won’t die.

this got way longer than i expected. sorry not sorry. also if you want to see an alternate universe based entirely around bdsm that uses kink as a foundation for exploring trauma and recovery….i have a blog for you. @flfverse

that’s all, unless i’m still in my feelings in fifteen minutes.

[orsanedraws]

i will not give in to the urge to write an oc x character fic that's in my head... i will not...

[kagoutiss]

obsessed w this iwata asks where aonuma briefly describes his bouts of insanity and rage and prophetic nightmares near the end of majora’s mask development

[alloprosallus]

if the dove isn't dead i don't want it tbh

[annbourbon]

🖤 ✨ 🖤 ✨ Rika ✨ 🖤 ✨ 🖤

Let's start with Rika...

⚠️possible spoilers ahead, be warned⚠️

I can't believe I actually didn't realize that. I mean, I did it. Like 7 years ago, but I had no clue on how to explain it.

Besides it needs from Mystic Messenger Timeline *which I'm still working on, and trying to finish* to actually make sense.

Disclaimer: Please take into account that whatever I say here, it's only my opinion after playing the game so many years. I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I'm just a writer, who loves to spend time analysing characters and stories.

I did asked to my mom to help me with this and the other characters because of how difficult the task ahead of me was. My mom, who is an actual therapist, did her best to help me, but I did most of the analysis here, since I'm the one who knows the in's and outs of this game. Besides, I did my research and I'll make sure to quote it! So give it a chance and keep reading even if you disagree with me. And then, I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic 💕

Narcissus. Also known as daffodil.

Should I talk to you about the dark side of the flowers and tie it to MM characters?? Anyways, Rika is a narcissistic. But also has a profound trauma. One doesn't exclude the other. Here's a quote from Mayo Clinic:

«Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.»

Causes: The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.

There are other two, that are genetic, and neurobiology causes, but I'll be focusing more on the environment, which let's be honest, it's what is displayed on the game. If you're interested on reading more about it, there's a link before the quote and, on References, I'll also be leaving every single link.

So let's go back to Rika and please read the next three images while remembering how's her relationship with V, and Saeran. Sometimes even with MC, and Mika.

As you can see...

Attention:

* Creates the RFA. Receives attention.

* Creates Mint Eye. Receives attention.

* Says V is her Sun.

* As soon as she gets tired, says V's killing her and wants to leave

* Wants to mix RFA and Mint Eye. I assume is because despite everything, she feels like she's losing attention on everything she created. And MC is the reason of that too.

They don't choose losers:

V is a millionaire

Jumin is a millionaire

Zen is super sexy and hot

Jaehee and the twins are really smart

Do I need to keep going? Even Elizabeth the 3rd is one of the most beautiful cats ever seen.

Grooming:

Here's the part that keeps bothering me because I realized about it before I could actually explain what it was going on. Seven years ago I decided to play the game, and I finished feeling a bit too weird on how everyone was so infatuated with Rika... it wasn't any other person that just dies and then the group dies too. It was still active two years after losing her (?) Even though they have only know each other for... 4 to 6 years?

Some even less. Like Jaehee. Which randomly brings me to: She's an ENFJ so she does focus on details like Jaehee (Jaehee might be ISFJ, ISTJ or even ESFJ considering how well she manages around people too. But that's another story.) Her enneagram is probably 1.

I can understand Yoosung, but... you know what I mean. It was weird. And once I reached the first VN novel about V and Rika I felt even more weirded out by these two.

I don't think I can pinpoint it but I felt like Rika was manipulating V so I was surprised when I realized some members were tying these two as lovers and a beautiful couple. Do you guys remember V being surprised by Rika quoting "The Sun is the mother of all"?? Yeah... Even back then, for me it was a highlight of how messed up their relationship was. But again, I couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Until, now.

After Cheritz released Another Story, and Rika DLC, many of my theories came true. But still in a disorganized way. Which is why I created The Mystic Messenger Timeline.

I did confirmed one thing:

Rika is a narcissist and V is a people pleaser (that doesn't make him any less villainous of what he is, but I'll explain once we'll reach his profile. I promise.) at least at the very beginning of this story.

She probably has psychopatic tendencies

She definitely has sadistic and abusive tendencies: I have a hard time putting through her whole behavior during Saeran's Route and especially during his AE. But she takes pleasure in hurting others. V, Saeran, MC, Mint Eye associates, etc.

A bit of One on the Enneagram:

It is called The Reformer.

Because Ones have a “sense of mission” that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have. They strive to overcome adversity—particularly moral adversity—so that the human spirit can shine through and make a difference. They strive after “higher values,” even at the cost of great personal sacrifice.

If you think I'm too far off, then please check the levels of healthy and unhealthy Ones can have. They sure ring a bit too much for me on Rika's behavior. From Level 1 to 9, we can see her evolution during the game. But here you have a couple of her worse traits.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions.

Level 8: Become obsessive about imperfection and the wrongdoing of others, although they may fall into contradictory actions, hypocritically doing the opposite of what they preach.

Level 9: Become condemnatory toward others, punitive and cruel to rid themselves of wrongdoers. Severe depressions, nervous breakdowns, and suicide attempts are likely. Generally corresponds to the Obsessive-Compulsive and Depressive personality disorders

If you want to know more about this, check this.

So, why do you (player) like Rika as character?

Because it's okay, I know people who actually like Rika. I don't, but I definitely don't hate her either...

You don't need to be worried about it as long as you know what she did was wrong. That's it. Now, why do you like her/identify with her?

Things that might, or not, ring a bell:

* Trauma: Rika has a traumatic past. And you might feel like it's a mirror of your past. Hence identifying with it might not be something difficult. Of course this doesn't mean you are leader of some religious cult.

* Her willingness to fight despite having everything at odds. Let's not forget that before she goes nuts and starts brainwashing people, she did a lot of great deeds. Tried to stay positive and all that.

* Her kindness (we can discuss over certain things, but as much as she did terrible things, she also did amazing things, like creating the RFA to help people. Wether she did it with a certain master plan in mind or not, she did helped as much as she hurt and that's the important part.)

* She's just a great villain! It might be hard to understand for some people but you actually just look at her character as what it is, a character, and you're impressed by how many discussions and hot debates she brings onto the table. Understandable!

* Her flower means forgiveness♡

Do you have any other ideas for why you might like Rika? I'd be happy to read them. 💕

Also, this might be one of my last post about her. Might not be the last but I do need to finish with the Mystic Messenger Timeline, and I will but I don't think I have a lot more material to write about. So thank you for sticking with me all this time! I'm linking the main post on MysMe theories I have, I still need to finish tying up all nicely. But we're coming to the end. I'm definitely talking about trauma, coping mechanisms, parenthood, childhood and societal pressures but it'll be in other posts, possibly not even linking them to this one. Who knows? Stay tuned~!

References:

Mayo Clinic - Narcissistic Disorder Personality

Between Narcissistic & People pleaser

Medium - Beware a narcissist with a hero complex

Paired Life - Hero & Narcissist

Enneagram Institute - One

[skrunksthatwunk]

ive started a brainstorming doc for the kaiji koi-koi fic and a large large amount of it is just trying to figure out what works about kaiji and how i can innovate without diverging too much from the tone or themes etc. anyway ive been thinking about how the modifications fkmt makes to the games in kaiji function (i.e. minefield mahjong, restricted rps, one poker, etc), and how they each tie into key traits/feelings of playing to original versions. minefield mahjong centers and intensifies the feeling of waiting on a crucial tile while trying not to leave too much of a trail, one poker leans heavily into the bluffing via raising/calling elements of poker, and rrps sort of flips rps' main issue(?) on its head by removing its arbitrariness (while preserving at first the illusion of arbitrariness), and thus making it like.. something you can win via strategy and not just luck. ANYWAY i think ive figured out the key thread to pull for koi-koi and im very excited about that

[albontology]

proud to announce to albontology nation that i made the gochujang cookies and theyre delicious actually

[natasha-in-space]

You ever read a fic that's so good, you just have to lay there and stare at the ceiling in complete silence for like 15 minutes or so while your brain is basically vibrating with hundreds of thoughts? Yeah, that's one of the best feelings in the world, holy molly

[sweetsylus]

how abnormal would it be for me to tell sylus i wanna lick his teeth

[t0xic-r0ses]

January Reading Thus Far

I know January isn’t over but since I just got back on this app I figured I’d do a so far post with the 14 books I’ve read this month and the 3 I am currently reading!

This month I read:

Foe by Iain Reid: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Insatiable by Leigh Rivers: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

(I tried to continue the series because I loved the first one but I DNF’d book 2 at 20% cause I was over the ab*se p*rn from the brother and her just lying down and taking it)

Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Deaths Obsession by Avina St. Graves: ⭐️⭐️.5

A Soul of Ash and Blood by Jennifer L Armentrout: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (cas will always be book daddy number 1 idc idc)

The Summer That Melted Everything by Tiffany McDaniel: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Confessions by Kanae Minato: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

Skyshade by Alex Aster: ⭐️⭐️.5 (I think this was my last straw with this series)

For the Fans by Nyla K: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5

When the Moon Hatched by Sarah A Parker: ⭐️.5 (this was my last straw with booktok recs cause wtf)

The Queen of Nothing by Holly Black:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Prison Healer by Lynette Noni: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am currently reading:

The Ritual by Shantel Tessier

Mother of Death and Dawn by Carissa Broadbent

Just Another Missing Person by Gillian McAllister

Overall it’s been a great month so far! So many 5 star reads although I do think a lot of those were cause I had a good ass time and not because it’s literary art. I aim to start posting reviews for books as I finish them here but this was too much to post each review so if you’re curious why I rated how I did check out my fable!

If you have any thoughts about these or anything else I’ve read I’d love to hear. I’ll do a January wrapped at the end of the month and maybe a yes if or no if or something along those lines since this will be a fruitful month for me with a lot of books I would recommend.

I’ll leave with if you only read one book from this list my recs would be if you want…

Lit Fic: the summer

Romance: for the fans

Fantasy: you should read the whole cruel price series that ends with the queen. Seriously. I know it’s YA. Please just do it.

✨

[alloprosallus]

woke up so late but the new sleep token song oh my god. also thsi was the first thing on my fyp and i'm crying after the post i made yday and cardiolog1st comparing him to a puppy this morning

[rerubenoving]

funny how many of our brothers in humanity making selfhelp glowup killself woodchip shickerbar are not hot not fun not charismatic. unfortunately theres this one girl that is. love herrr. who wins, really, when i watch eleven minutes of advice im not gonna take if im there for the way she talks, not what shes got to say

[swoonblog123]

Book Review: Alter Arlo

Do you like dystopian stories? Do you like psychological mindfuckery? If yes, then strap in because this one is for you. The synopsis about this book, Alter Arlo by Nordika Night, is going to brief and annoyingly vague because the best way to experience it is to go in completely blind. However, here’s what I can tell you without giving away too much. When we come into this story, we learn that…

[nereidprinc3ss]

no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin)

in which spencer reid is gentle with overwhelmed fem!reader after sex

18+ (fluff, implied intimacy) warnings/tags: it's just aftercare, but like psychological aftercare, implied intimacy duh, vague descriptions of sex but nothing explicit, hurt/comfort without the hurt, allusions to postcoital dysphoria, reader cries but its not really sad, spencer reid is so kind i wish men were real, i think that is all a/n: guess who wrote an entirely different thing instead of touching her wips..... AGAIN...... this bitch cant do anything omggg!! but this was based on a request so go me also what a strange time to be posting but it's only 1k words and nobody can stop me

“Hey. Are you with me, angel?”

You blink your eyes open in the dark room—reorienting yourself to the tangle of your bodies. How many minutes has it been?

“Hm?”

He chuckles—a quick huff from his nose as he brings a hand up to push hair from your face. 

“I asked you if you’re with me.”

It takes you a moment to answer. You’re still trying to make sense of where you are in space, each sensation coming back to you one by one—the weight and pressure of him against you, the slip of cotton sheets and a cool breeze from the cracked window over your heated sticky skin. 

“Oh.”

It’s not much of an answer and your voice is small. For a moment he lets it sit, cupping your warm cheek. Your eyes flutter shut again. His voice comes gentler, dipped in concern. 

“You okay?”

This time you don’t try to speak. Your tongue is like a lead weight in your mouth and your brain is running on dial-up. The best you can do is to cling to him, hiding your face in the curve of his neck and hoping he’ll understand that your firm hold on him is a request for him to tighten his own arms around you, until you’re sure you won’t float away. He reciprocates and it makes you feel more secure immediately. 

“Can you answer me?” He murmurs, all sweet solicitation, lips brushing the top of your head in this new airtight position. And then, a moment later— “Baby. I wanna hear your voice.”

“Mhm,” you manage. 

Spencer rewards you by rubbing your back in slow circles. His hand feels nice on your bare skin. The way you love him is too big for words. It could make you cry. 

“Wasn’t too much? You’re not hurting anywhere?”

You shake your head and try to ignore the ache in your bones when you can’t seem to get him close enough. 

“Mm-mm.”

It’s not entirely true—your legs are sore, but it’s nothing that needs tending to, and your lower back is a bit crampy, but he’s already working on that. 

He hums. “You’re pretty out of it, sweet girl. What’s going on with you?”

Spencer is always careful with you. He’d never hurt you, or sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure. That said, he’s just as passionate as you are. The stretch of your arms above your head is still fresh in your mind—the ghost of his grip, pressing your wrists into the mattress, or pushing your leg up, or pulling you exactly where he wanted you by the hips. It’s all wonderful, and you never feel safer than you do when you’re with him, but it doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable, any less raw, after all is said and done. Maybe it’s precisely because you trust him so much that you’re so sensitive afterward. But he never, ever makes you feel bad for having an intense reaction to an intense experience. He always meets you where you’re at. That in itself makes you emotional. Spencer is different than any of the partners you’d had before. 

Again, he’s patient as you try to process his question and work up a response. Maybe a minute later, you’re breathing out something that feels true. 

“Overwhelmed.”

The word is a tap against glass you didn’t know was there until it’s fracturing like a spiderweb. With no warning, and for no good reason, you find yourself choked up. 

“Oh,” he says, sympathetic and drawn out as understanding sets in. “Do you need me to back off for a minute?”

You squeeze him even fiercer and shake your head, unable to stop the tears from drawing their shiny paths down your cheeks and sinking into the weave of the pillow case. 

“Shh. You’re okay,” he murmurs, quiet and slow and almost sing-songy as he smooths your hair, though you know he doesn’t really expect you to stop crying. “You’re okay, pretty. Remember what I said about all the hormonal shifts in your body after you come?”

Once more you nod against him with a small, shuddering sniffle. 

“And how sometimes your body regulates by crying? Kind of like a… a reset button?”

“Mhm.”

“Mhm.” He shifts from rubbing your back to tracing light lines in shapeless patterns with the blunt edges of his nails, and your breath catches before you’re melting in his hold. “It’s okay to have big or confusing feelings after sex. It’s actually really common. I just want you to be honest with me about those feelings, right? So we can keep you safe?”

“Right.”

“Would you tell me if you were hurting, or if something I did or said was bothering you?”

“Yes.”

If you were looking at him you know he’d be smiling ever so slightly at your monosyllabic responses, charting an upward path with his hand and pushing it through your hair at the nape of your neck. “You can just nod, baby. You don’t have to talk. I know you’re tired.”

You make a small noise of gratitude and nuzzle closer, feeling better as the tears slow, quickly as they’d come. 

“Do you want a bath in a little while?”

Another nod. He scratches at your scalp. “Okay. We’ll do a bath, and then dinner, and then I’m finally going to make you watch that documentary about Helvetica. It’s a little outdated, and there are a few basic errors about the origin and development of the font as well as misinformation about the typeface subgroup in general, but I can amend those as we watch and afterward we can read the director’s tenth anniversary statement. I was waiting to read it until we watched it together.”

Spencer knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll fall asleep ten minutes in, curled up on the couch under a blanket in your biggest hoodie with your head on his lap and his hand in your hair, just like this. 

He’s actually really looking forward to it.

[shouyuus]

insane thought but vi makes you sit on her lap while you do your makeup bc she just wants to be close at all times. i’m having visions 🧙‍♀️ of her just resting her head on your shoulder and smiling so fondly at you in the mirror, just observing you…… ugh 😞

OKAY but can we talk about it; there's an amazing tiktoker who has a whole series on breaking down the psychology of arcane via the fights, body language, communication, etc and how that all goes towards the storytelling and they do it rly well so i'll just let you guys ruminate on the 44 part arcane series they've doNE BUT. the thing they've said over and over again about how the way vi shows love and affection is FULL HAND CONTACT, like more so than even physical touch (ALTHO IM SURE THATS AN EXTENSION OF IT YALL), it's the hand thing

SO. like college roommate!vi after you guys have made it official, and ur both going to some kind of party, and you've already done vi's make up (and gotten SUPER distracted during it because well, it ended up with you straddling her lap and basically trying very hard not to fuck up her eyeliner bc her hands were ALL OVER your thighs and waist, inching up your shirt and teasing your skin), so now you've gotta do yours, and as much as you love and adore her, you know if you ask her to do your makeup in exchange you'll end up looking like you're going to an avril lavigne concert at age 13 which is NOT always a bad thing but just not the vibe you're going for tonight right.

so imagine sitting at your vanity, her with her chin hooked over your shoulder, and her arms wrapped around your waist, your back against her chest. and she's so warm, she's always been warm, but you always notice it more when you're like this -- the contours of your body fitted so perfectly against each other, like jigsaw pieces clicking into place for the very first time and realizing that this is where they were always meant to be.

"which one -- the darker one? or the lighter one?" you ask, holding up an eyeshadow palette to show her over your shoulder. and you feel her hand twitch on your stomach, but she doesn't shift either of them, just nuzzles deeper into the crook of your neck.

"mmm... the lighter one," she says, "goes better with the dress you picked out.

you laugh, nodding, and dabbing a finger into the lighter shimmer shadow, leaning forward slightly to apply it across your eyelids. vi lets out a tiny whine as your back separates from her chest. and a second later, she's leaning forward too, chasing the contact. you cast her an exasperated smile in the mirror as she pouts at you over your shoulder.

"vi -- you're gonna make me mess up!"

"okay, okay, fine," but she's definitely still whining about it, barely letting up her hold as you shift your seat on her lap to give yourself a bit more stability as you go back to doing your makeup.

"what do you think?" you ask, pulling back and relaxing against her once more.

vi only tugs you in tighter, her fingers curled around your middle.

"i think you look beautiful, but... i always think that, so..."

you crinkle your nose, feeling a familiar heat wash into your cheeks.

"you don't think it's too much glitter?"

vi shakes her head, chuckling.

"nope. no such thing."

your lips twitch wider, "correct answer."

"mm... see? i pay attention," she says, nosing along your neck, her breath hot on your skin.

"i -- i've never said you don't!" you say, squeaking slightly as vi smirks into your shoulder.

"i know." a kiss.

"v-vi..."

"hm?" another kiss.

"what're you --"

"what's it -- look like --?" her teeth skimming along the junction of your neck.

"i-it looks like you're trying to make us even later f-for this party than we already are."

vi hums, shrugging as she sinks her teeth into your bare skin.

"well if we're already late --"

"vi! w-we promised we'd go --"

"and we will --" you feel the tips of her fingers teasing into the waistband of your sleep shorts, and you think that at least you haven't changed into your dress yet.

"we're gonna ruin our makeup!"

vi's hands pause, and a second later, she sighs, her face appearing over your shoulder in the reflected image of the mirror. she blows a strand of pink hair from her face.

"fine... but if it's a boring party --"

you roll your eyes, "we can irish exit as hard as you want."

vi's smirk smears sideways and you immediately bite down on your bottom lip.

"your words, cupcake. not mine."

you grin, leaning forward again to wing out your eyeliner and apply the most waterproof kind of mascara you can as vi watches you with indulgent eyes and a knowing smile.

in the end, you don't end up leaving the party early. but you do manage to desecrate of the bedrooms upstairs. though you only feel kinda bad for it because, well, you can't just throw a party, invite the entire girls rugby team, and not expect some level of debauchery, right?

right.

[sthilarions]

There’s been talk of how Charles’s death was due to physical violence and he protects himself and Edwin physically, and Edwin’s death was magical so he protects himself and Charles magically

But I feel relatively little has been made of the contrast between the, mm… types of trauma of their deaths, at the moment of death? Because Charles’s death was miserable physically but actually quite lovely, psychologically; getting killed by his friends sucked, obviously, but by the time of his actual death he was at peace, he was almost happy. Whereas Edwin’s death was minimally traumatic physically (barring rope burns, a bit of bruising from struggling, etc) but he died in terror while being, you know, actively hate-crimed; it was awful psychologically.

And I feel like probably the sort of pain a ghost was in, at the moment of their death, probably has lasting effects, y’know?

Just a thought.