#mlb Dark Humour

[spittyfishy]

So not fair they wasted one of the best akumas on the worst episode

[that-wildwolf]

Get to know me! :D

I was tagged by @lerr-writes-fic (thank you, I love oversharing on the internet!) and I'm no-pressure-tagging @nicolasadrabbles, @crescentbunny, and @evvi

3 Ships: uhhh... Royai, Shakarian, Raeda! Wait, this is one of those "quick, without thinking" type of questions, right?

First Ever Ship: Sarah Jane Smith/the Doctor (Doctor Who)

Last Song: Made In Heaven (Queen)

Last Movie: the new Pinnochio by Guillermo del Toro. It was pretty good, a lot of dark humour. Not sure if I liked the musical aspect though.

Currently Reading: a totally normal number of pre-reveal ladynoir fanfics that i need for my mental well being

Currently Watching: I'm on season 4 in my MLB rewatch and season 3 in my FMAB rewatch. Oh, right, the new season of BNHA is airing now too. So also that.

Currently Consuming: unhealthy amounts of nice hot winter tea

Currently Craving: any fucking inspiration at all, I haven't written a single word in over a week, I feel like I'm about to burst. help.

[twilitty]

3 & 3 bella x jacob for your fic ask game? 👀👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you for the ask! I almost went wayyy overboard with this so I had to rein myself in lol I hope you enjoy it! Just a sweet little date to the movies (1.2k words) warning: this was not proof read lol so ignore any mistakes please

It was Billys idea for Jake and I to go to the movies, or rather, it was his idea for us to leave his house and suggested the movie theatre to ensure we’d be gone for a length of time. Billy Black, while a fan of both his son and I, is not a fan of having his living room dominated by us. After our latest movie recorded over his baseball game he told us we had to find another place to go, and that once the MLB season was over we’d be allowed back in the house. This seems to affect Jacob more than it does me.

“I don’t see why he can’t just go watch with Harry or your dad or something,” He complains to me after we pile into my truck, him taking over the drivers seat because apparently I make him nauseous. No, not me, my driving abilities. It’s a common argument in our relationship although our arrangement of him driving works better for both of us. I get to look out the window and choose the music, he is saved from the migraine and stomach ache my driving supposedly causes.

“That’s his house, we shouldn’t be kicking him out,” I say while sliding through radio stations. “Besides this way we get movie popcorn not the microwave stuff.” This way I am also forced to dress in something other than sweatpants and a big t-shirt, which seems to be my uniform whenever I’m at the Blacks. This is my first time wearing jeans in nearly a week, the texture is familiar and rejuvenates my confidence. I mentally thank Billy.

“That’s my house,” the boy next to me says, sounding just a little bit like a scorned toddler. “I should get some rights to the TV.”

“You get TV rights once baseball is over,” I say, rephrasing what his father told us. I have no idea when the baseball season officially ends, or even when it started. And, I don’t dare say this for fear that Jake’s mood will remain negative, but I think another sport comes after baseball. Maybe football? Or hockey? Jacob will likely not get TV rights until he moves out and buys his own TV.

“Yeah, yeah, just not the same thing.”

The drive into Port Angeles, which houses the nearest theatre, is comfortable and quiet except for new age rock playing through the speakers. Jake has tried to install an aux input, so I can play music from my phone, but I won’t let him. I enjoy the radio, and besides there are too many choices on my phone.

The movie theatre is dead. It’s not a deal day and no new movies have been released, or at least not any popular movies. The theatre is hosting Actress Night, where they showcase some of the highest ranking movies from an actress previously voted on. It’s Julia Roberts tonight, Jennifer Aniston tomorrow, and some other woman we’re way too young to know the name of after that. Jake purchases us two tickets, I pick up the bill for popcorn and drinks.

This is one of my favourite things about being with Jacob. It’s so easy. He pays for some stuff and I pay for some and sometimes when we’re both broke we just sit at home and eat stale pretzels while watching Real Housewife reruns. I don’t have to worry about owing him money or the scales of our relationship being tipped unevenly.

The room which hosts our movie, Pretty Woman, is nearly empty except for a few middle aged couples sitting near the front. “I’ll never understand why adults congregate at the front like that, it must hurt their eyes to be so close to the screen,” I mumble as we pass two men sitting so close their heads are tilted completely upwards just to see the opening advertisements.

“Or,” Jacob tells me, “They’ll be too busy getting funky to watch.” That’s the other thing with dating Jacob Black, he enjoys saying things that he knows get under my skin. He’s brash, bold, saying whatever he wants. I’m a little more timid, and this is something I never forget when I’m with him.

“Ohmigod.” I duck my head, grabbing his wrist to pull him up the glow-in-the-dark stairs. “I doubt they’re… getting funky.” His wrist twists and I end up holding his hand, him stepping up to be on the same level as me.

“Bella, come on, adults always come to the movies to get freaky-”

“Stop with the lingo or I leave,” I bluff. “No more funky or freaky, got it, Black?”

He squeezes my hand once, smiling down at me with mild humour, russet skin illuminated by the stairs. I love his smile. “Alright,” he agrees with a sideways pull of his mouth, trying to hide a laugh. “But you better not be expecting anything spicy from me tonight.” A woman turns over her shoulder to look at us, a frown impeding on her expression. Jake notices this and guffaws a little too loudly. “Come on, let's go.”

He pulls me up the stairs to the very top level, my feet all too willing to carry me away from the scowling woman. We sit in the middle of the row and I can hear Jessica in my mind, the back row is for more than kissing. I should know, Mike and I always sit in the back row. Angela had a field day with this information, by which I mean every time she and I went to the movies she would actively avoid the back row so as to not contaminate her clothing with the supposedly filthy seats. Now, sitting next to my boyfriend in the more than kissing row, I am feeling a little worried about the state of our seats.

The movie title rolls as Jake slides his phone off and places it in my purse, which he dutifully places on the seat next to him. “To make sure nobody snatches it,” he informs me, even though out of all twelve people in the room, we are the only ones up here. The popcorn stays on his lap, pushed against the arm rest so I can access it without needing to lean all the way over. He won’t let me hold the bag, which is my own fault. I tend to hoard my movie snacks and he is most definitely not letting that happen.

As the movie opens, Julia Roberts dressed scantily, Jake takes my hand in his as I reach for popcorn. “If you finish this within the first fifteen minutes I will be very disappointed in you.” He whispers it, sending a pointed look at me, as if I’m known for my Olympic-level popcorn eating skills. I am not known for this skill, and the only person aware of it is Jacob Black and he seems hell bent on making sure I don’t eat my share and then his.

“You’re such a nerd,” I whisper back, but even I can hear the smile in my voice. He releases my hand for a moment before recatching it and twining his fingers through mine. We sit like this for a while, hand in hand, me craving a sticky handful of popcorn and him all too happy to watch me struggle to eat with my free hand.

The movie continues, Jake whispering criticisms in my ear as new events and plot turns take place. When Julia is denied help at the expensive store he whispers, “I would have served her,” then with a look at my expression he quickly back peddles, “not ‘cause she’s pretty but ‘cause she deserves respect and service. You gotta treat people fairly, you know.” Then we lapse back into silence.

The movie ends, I take the empty cups and popcorn bag, Jake takes my purse and informs me that it brings out the honey shades in his eyes. I’m not sure he even knows what that means, but let him hold my purse because he enjoys doing things like that. Sometimes I bring my purse even when I don’t need it, just so he can hold onto it.

[laresearchette]

Thursday, April 29, 2021 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: DEADHOUSE DARK (Shudder) CHASING OCEAN GIANTS (Animal Planet Canada) 4:00pm THE BIG SHOT WITH BETHENNY (Crave 1) 6:20pm (Premiering on May 4 on CTV Life at 9:10pm) 2021 NFL DRAFT (TSN/TSN5) 8:00pm FLIP OR FLOP (HGTV Canada) 10:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT     LET’S BE REAL (FOX Feed) PEOPLE PRESENTS: WILLIAM & KATE'S ROYAL ANNIVERSARY (CW Feed)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:

NETFLIX CANADA THINGS HEARD & SEEN YASUKE

MLB BASEBALL (SN) 1:00pm: Yankees vs. Orioles

NHL HOCKEY (SN360) 7:00pm: Sabres vs. Bruins (SNPacific/TSN4) 7:30pm: Canucks vs. Leafs (SN) 9:00pm: Flames vs. Oilers

NBA BASKETBALL (TSN3) 7:00pm: Nets vs. Pacers     (SN1) 9:00pm: Raptors vs. Nuggets

THE ARTISTS (CBC) 8:00pm: Exploring the cultural impact of video game designers and companies since the 1970s.

RUTHERFORD FALLS (Showcase) 8:00pm/8:31pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Town namesake Nathan Rutherford and his best friend, Reagan, find themselves at a crossroads -- quite literally -- when their sleepy town gets an unexpected wake-up call.  In Episode Two, Nathan seeks guidance from his old college history professor; Reagan agrees to join Terry as he tries to win over members of their Tribal Council.

MOOSEMEAT & MARMALADE (APTN) 8:00pm:  For Dan it's the ultimate British experience, a formal driven shoot on a Castle estate, but Art couldn't feel more like a fish out of water; with their love of good food and good humour, the pair manage to come together as always to enjoy.

QUEST OUT WEST: WILD FOOD (APTN) 8:30pm: Tracey arrives home in Penticton BC and meets up with local artists Clint George and Billie Kruger.

BIG BROTHER CANADA (Global) 9:00pm

RUST VALLEY RESTORERS (History Canada) 9:00pm:  Fantasies turn to nightmares when Connor enlists Rust Bros on a personal build; Avery goes over budget on his dream truck; James tackles a project from his past.

SWAMP PEOPLE (History Canada) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Overpopulation supercharges gator aggression; diving into the fray, Troy puts his new deckhand, Pickle, to the test; Daniel welcomes his grandson, Dorien, back; Junior returns to the swamp; Ronnie and Ashley come under attack from a marsh monster.

GHOST ADVENTURES (DTour) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Screaming Room: House of Hell: A California home where it's claimed all who enter are overtaken by sinister forces.

FIRE MASTERS (Food Network Canada) 11:00pm: The Wildfire round puts grilling skills to the ultimate test, the Crossfire round serves up wine and cheese and then it's off to Southeast Asia for the Feast of Fire.

FIVE DAY FLIP (HGTV Canada) 11:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  A woman and her team completely gut and remodel a kitchen and two bathrooms, while adding custom touches to the rest of a 19th Century house.

CANADIAN REFLECTIONS (CBC) 11:30pm: Cayenne; Jessica Jessica

[spittyfishy]

I can’t believe they only gave him five minutes of screen time 💔

That episode,, man was it a retcon-y mess lol. Derision was the only season 5 episode I was looking forward to (purely bc of Dark Cupid) and it was terrible in the most hilarious way lol