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crystal-witchiness · 4 years ago

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***Okay so I found this in my notes from May 2021 as a reaction to the scenes in the beginning of Endgame when Captain Marvel first brings Tony and Nebula back to Earth, when they first get off the ship, and when Tony yells at Steve a few scenes later when he looks like ‘Death Warmed Over’ in his robe and i thought I’d share -

Every time someone argues with me about my ABSOLUTE 100% belief that Steve and Tony had romantic feelings for each other, I’ll just show them this scene. “And I needed YOU.” He didn’t say “You guys” or “Your help.” Tony looked at Steve with so much pain in his eyes and said, “I needed y o u.” And Steve is just as broken watching Tony. This isn’t the first time this has happened between them. They had MANY scenes like this in Civil War (but I like to pretend that movie didn’t happen cause ‘ow blow a hole in my ship why dontcha?’) I mean technically I could submit that whole movie as evidence of their feelings but there are too many negative emotions wrapped up in it and it hurts. This movie is the first time they’ve seen each other since Civil War and when Tony first gets off the ship he basically falls into Steve’s arms. First of all, Steve fricking S P R I N T S when he sees Tony getting off the ship, then Tony sighs in relief and lets Steve take his weight. AND IMMEDIATELY begins unloading his grief about losing Peter cause he knew Steve would understand and comfort him. You can SEE s e e when Pepper runs up that (Ofc Tony does another sigh of relief that the snap didn’t take her (which I wish it did sorry Pepper your character stopped being interesting in the 2nd Iron Man)) Tony has to pull himself off of Steve and pretend to have it more together than he does because Pepper immediately begins crying and Tony has to comfort her. But Steve doesn’t leave his side. Tony cradling Pepper but he’s turning his body so that Steve can cradle him and ugh. Honestly I would have accepted a polyamorous relationship. Tony NEEDED someone to be the leader. THATS LITERALLY WHAT PEPPER WAS TALKING ABOUT. Tony NEVER rests because he always thinks he has to be the one to do everything, EXCEPT for when Steve’s around. Steve is the Captain and even though they bump heads (a lot, awww couples’ squabbles) Tony ALWAYS defers to Steve when it’s important. And Steve? Steve HAS to be a leader, to be helpful, in a healthy way because he couldn’t be that for most of his life in the past. He was a scrawny defenseless guy who always had to depend on Bucky. So to be able to take care of this group of wonderful people who are so powerful and yet STILL NEED STEVE? It’s who he his. It’s who Tony is too but he doesn’t WANT to be that way, he does it because he has to. He does it when no one else can or he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. This scene right now is Tony feeling helpless and so he lashes out at the easiest person, Steve. Steve is their leader and has saved them many times. Tony saw that picture of Peter and couldn’t handle his own feelings of helplessness so he lashed out to bring down the next ‘leader figure’ of the group. Steve and Tony have always been the parents of the Avengers. Steve is the most dad-est dad ever to dad. Meanwhile, Tony invites everyone to live with him while feeding them, clothing them (armor and civilian clothes) and making sure they have top of the line protection. HE LITERALLY EVEN SAYS THIS IN AGE OF ULTRON. SUCH a mom. So he wanted to make Steve feel his pain because Steve made a promise that they would lose together and Steve wasn’t there on that moon. And OF COURSE Tony knows that Steve was on earth fighting his own battle against Thanos but he wasn’t WITH Tony. And they are always stronger together than apart. (Civil War kinda proved this too) Tony sees Steve’s absence as the reason they lost, because ‘if only they’d been together’ ‘maybe we could have won if we’d only been together.’

ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TONY LITERALLY GIVING STEVE A REPRESENTATION OF HIS HEART. I know he did it out of anger and to make a point but he took away this piece of him, that he made SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE FELT VULNERABLE WITHOUT THE ARC, and gave it to Steve. Once again shedding that responsibility and giving it to Steve. Because even with the residual anger over Civil War, Tony trusts Steve. He says otherwise in this moment out of anger but that “vision” he talks about here? He literally watches Steve die (YEAH THATS RIGHT I SAID STEVE. Not PEPPER, NOT RHODEY, NOT ANY OF THE OTHER AVENGERS.) Wanda showed him his worst fear in Age of Ultron and it was the death of the Avengers, but he didn’t see THEM die. Everyone else, Thor, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were already dead. Tony watched STEVE die and it was STEVE saying that Tony could’ve saved them that spurred him into creating Ultron. He was so scared of losing them and letting Steve down (and letting him die) that he wanted to wrap the whole world in armor to protect him. And he tries to do it again in this scene. He means it to be spiteful but he gives Steve his armor and tells him to hide from Thanos. WHICH IS ANOTHER THING UGH. Tony doesn’t know that out of all of the people who fought Thanos in Wakanda that day, Steve was the one who engaged in hand-to-hand combat with him. Everyone else had armor and suits, weapons, etc. Steve has his serum strength and he u s e d it. It didn’t help for very long but he used his BARE HANDS to fight an alien-monster wielding 5/6 of ALL POWERFUL infinity stones, and ofc he was never going to win, but even Thanos looked at Steve in incredulity at his bravery and resolve. A human (a super charged one at that but still a human) fought him with his bare hands and wasn’t going to stop. (Steve proved this again at the end of Endgame when he’s the last one standing against Thanos and his entire army and just tightens the strap on his broken shield, (and most likely broken arm, based on the flinch/hiss) and readies himself to fight alone. Steve also gave Wanda time to destroy the mind stone (unfortunately, that didn’t mean anything in the end)

AND YET Tony doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t know how hard Steve fought, just like Tony did on Titan, to stop Thanos. And I REALLY wish we had seen Tony’s reaction to Steve standing up to Thanos at the end of Endgame OR EVEN WIELDING MJOLNIR, but anyways.

Back to the basics. Boss level stuff most people don’t remember or think about- Tony’s dad very unhealthily IDOLIZED Steve. He canonically compared everything Tony did to Steve. So Tony grew up idolizing this man that he also despised because it fueled his father’s abuse of him. Tony shows this anger in the first Avengers. When they have their argument on the quinjet. “Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” He even says something about how Steve didn’t live up to his father’s hype (I don’t remember Tony’s exact words but that’s the gist) And ofc Steve says Tony’s nothing without his armor. But then they go on the prove each other wrong multiple times, but mainly in their last moments in the MCU. Steve proves it by standing alone against an ENTIRE alien army and later by picking up mjolnir. And Tony? Tony is that ONE factor in a million that Stephen sees. Tony, a beautifully pure human-being, with no powers or serums to help, takes on the powers of the stones. KNOWING it would kill him. He had proof. It nearly killed Thanos and Bruce and they were hulking (pun intended) beings with super strength and all that.

Tony and Steve were always set up to be spoils to one another and that makes them perfect together. They balance each other out. Pepper was a boss b****, no doubt, and I loved their relationship in the first two Iron Man movies, but as their characters grew and Tony’s personality was intrinsically changed through trauma- Pepper was no longer right for him. She was good for him, no doubt, but Tony couldn’t relax with her as he did with Steve. Tony could trust Steve to take over and everything could be fine. Pepper was like that for Stark Industries but not in other ways. Tony always saw himself as Pepper’s protector. I will 100% give her props for telling Tony that he’d never rest until he tried Scott’s time travel theory, but other than that she wasn’t particularly supportive of Iron. Man. What Pepper never seemed to understand, and what Steve didn’t understand when he FIRST met Tony, is that Tony and Iron Man are synonymous. Their is no ‘man outside the suit.’ Tony Stark is Iron Man and Iron Man is Tony Stark. Steve was placed into an already created persona of Captain America. Steve didn’t create Captain America even though that’s who he was. He was literally MADE for the role. Tony on the other hand, MADE Iron Man. He was the one who built the first suit - dying in a cave in Afghanistan. He was the one who took responsibility for Obadiah and his father’s actions and became a superhero to save the countries that were affected by Stark tech. Steve may have volunteered to be a superhero because he felt like he had no one other choice but Tony DIDN’T HAVE TO. He had fame, money, power, ALL OF IT. He could’ve EASILY hidden his company’s dark underside once he found out. But instead, Tony was like “Hey um so my company has done some bad things and instead of delegating aid through my money and power, I’m going to personally handle this with a titanium alloy suit and technology that I helped create in a cave while being held captive by a terrorist cell.”

Where was I going with this? OH YEAH.

I will believe in TonyxSteve (Stony) for the rest of my life and I will use fanfiction to fill the void of their deaths. Basically, if I lost anyone in the word vomit above, what I’m trying to say is that- Steve and Tony completed each other. They provided something the other needed. Tony needed stability and protection. He needed to feel like he could let go. Steve needed an anchor in the present. Someone lively and opinionated, SOMEONE ADVENTUROUS AND FUNNY, who Steve could smile with and protect. But also. Steve trusted Tony to be a leader as much as Tony trusted him. They had their ups and downs. Trauma and the Accords didn’t help their relationship at all, but should’ve been it for each other. And I honestly believe they would have t h r i v e d.

Honestly I applaud anyone who made it this far. I don’t know where this all came from but I will not apologize✌🏻

I rest my case your honor.

#avengers endgame #steve rogers #tony stark #captain america #iron man #stony #marvel endgame #steve x tony #i will die with this ship #i ship them #rip stan lee

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arandompostarchive · 4 years ago

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SALEM - Ch. 18

SAVED WORK

Summary: In all the centuries of your existence, you had never been dragged out of hiding by another god, put in a superhero team and forced to save the universe. But it seems your luck has run out.

_____________

***

You tugged Loki along with you, heading to the conference room Steve usually called you to. You saw Loki use magic to change into his armor, and you did the same, changing into Tony’s new suit for you. You’d have to thank him for it later.

You arrived there before most of the others. They took a bit longer to change than you and Loki. Magic was a helpful thing. Steve, Tony, Bucky, and Nat were the only ones in the room when you walked in.

“Y/n, we’re taking the quinjet closer, Tony and Sam will help you and Loki get up there since you can’t exactly teleport somewhere you can’t see,” Nat said, reminding you of the plan. You nodded along, taking your seat at the table next to Loki.

You noticed the group had put an extra chair at the table for Loki. It wasn’t much, but it was progress towards at least acknowledgment of Loki’s existence.

Thor had walked in as Nat finished talking and took a seat next to his brother. Steve turned to the three of you, switching into Captain Mode. “The important thing is that you, Loki, and Thor take out Moros. We’ll give you weapons from the ship. Y/n, you and Loki have fought him before. Do you think the three of you will be able to do it?” He asked. There wasn’t anything condescending in his voice, just worry the fight wouldn’t be over as quickly as possible.

“With weapons that can kill him and the assistance of my brother, we should not have a problem,” Loki said, reassuring Steve.

Tony rolled his eyes a bit. “I’m just saying, why is this guy so hard to kill? I mean, the two of you are gods and it was two against one. For once, I’m not trying to be an ass, I’m serious. Why is he so dangerous?” He asked. You could see it was a serious question, though you were sure he was holding back on some sarcastic remark. Steve looked to you for the answer, apparently Tony had voiced a question he wanted to be answered as well.

By that time, the entire team had joined you in the room, all in their suits. You looked between Tony and Steve to answer the question.

“The Asgardians and Olympians are different. The Asgardians may have labels, like ‘god of lies’ or ‘god of thunder’,” You gestured to Loki and Thor respectively. “But they are all one race. They get their titles later in life depending on their personalities. Olympians are born knowing their purpose. We are all different.”

Nat seemed confused at your explanation. “I’m not sure I follow.” She said, her head tilted to the side.

You sighed, unsure of how to explain it and make sense. “Each god has their own ‘specialties’ I suppose. I use magic and can use it to change my form, like when my eyes go dark. Poseidon uses water, Athena is a genius, Ares has strength, and so on. My brother is the god of destruction. Needless to say, he destroys.” You took a moment, making sure you were making sense. “He was born into destruction, unlike the rest of us. He’s the concept of destruction itself, which is a hard idea to kill. Some gods are less powerful than others, and children of Nyx tend to be much more dangerous. Especially ones with an ability like destroying anything. And I mean anything. Buildings, planets… people. My brother is not to be trifled with.” You said the last part softly. It was true, but you thought that was better kept out of the conversation of people about to fight Moros unless it was absolutely necessary

Loki’s hand squeezed your thigh in reassurance and you put your hand over his and smiled up at him. He returned the smile, turning his hand over so you could hold onto it. You saw Tony roll his eyes. “Dear god, if you guys are going to turn into a gross touchy couple, I’m blasting our resident smurf in the face, hear me?” He said, staring at you. You laughed a bit, while Tony glared.

“While I do find this sweet, we’ve got a really angry god to fight,” Sam said, drawing your attention back to the task at hand. You all nodded. Even Tony could be serious when he needed to, although he always tried to lighten the tension with humor. It was greatly appreciated most of the time, despite your sarcastic responses.

“Everyone else, besides Thor, Loki, and Y/n will stay on the ground and fight back the army. SHIELD has offered agents to help us and authorities will help when they can. Thor, Loki, Y/n, you can’t crash this ship. Tony was able to get some visuals of it. If it goes down, it’s sure to destroy far too much of the city. People will die without a doubt.” Steve looked to you, making sure you understood. The three of you nodded and everyone left to prepare.

Moros was already here, the best you could do was be as prepared as possible. You hadn’t fought with Thor and Loki before, although they had spent centuries fighting side by side, you had only fought beside Thor for a year and Loki for only a week. You could hardly call it practice. So, you shared as much information about Moros as you could think of. His fighting style, weapons, anything that came to mind.

Tony came up to you a few minutes into your explanation and handed you the weapons from the ship. You spread them out on a coffee table in the living room in order to divide them up. There were three of them, two daggers and a longsword. They weren’t the world’s prettiest weapons, but they would certainly do.

“Brother,” Thor started, “take the daggers and dual wield. Mjolnir may not be one of their god-killing creations, but it will certainly be able to deal a blow.” He said, smiling. You and Loki nodded, picking up your respective weapons. The sword didn’t have the usual beautiful look of a good longsword, but it wasn’t about the glamour today. It was much more about death.

You heard Steve’s voice over Friday’s system. “Everyone, report outside. We’ve seen movement from the ship. We’re leaving now. Thor, Loki, Sam, Y/n, Tony, you’re heading up to the ship. Get this over with as soon as you possibly can. You nodded, despite the fact that Cap could see you. Thor moved first, walking toward the elevator, you followed. Loki stopped walking.

“Coming?” Thor said, looking back as he waited for the elevator to come.

“We’ll meet you there in a minute,” Loki said, waving Thor off. Thor nodded, stepping into the elevator. You looked toward Loki, tilting your head to ask what’s wrong. He reached over to grab your hand and you took a step closer to him, slightly concerned.

“Be careful, my love.”

My love. My love. My love.

“Of course I will, why?” You asked, confused why he felt the need to remind you of something obvious.

He laughed. “I do not want to lose you. I doubt I can do that again, as selfish as that is to say.” You smiled at him and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Loki, believe me, I have no intention of dying today at my brother’s hands. Or at all, for that matter.” He nodded at that, accepting your answer. He seemed nervous. You could understand that. You would be too if you were in his shoes. He had lost you for almost three and a half centuries.

“Good.” You opened your mouth, but he spoke first. “And yes, I will protect myself as well, before you ask.” You nodded, accepting his answer as well. “You should take that off, you know.” He said, gesturing to the left side of your face. You had started to get used to not seeing from that eye, but you weren’t quite sure you should take the patch off yet.

Loki reached up to take it off, his hands moving slowly to give you time to stop him. You let him.

He pulled off the patch, careful not to pull too hard and pull your hair in the process. “Much better.” He said. Lifting your chin up to examine your eye. You suspected he wasn’t admiring it, rather making sure it had healed, but he wouldn’t admit it, so you let it go.

You used your magic to summon a small hand mirror. The was a large scar over half your face and it was distracting, to say the least. It reminded you of a spider’s web. The discolored and burned skin, crawling its way across your face. But your eye was the worst part. It looked gray now, like you were blind. Which, in all fairness, you were. The off-white color was almost disturbing to look at for you, so different than what you were used to seeing. It wasn’t your face anymore. It felt like someone else’s had been plastered over it. It felt odd to know it’d never be the same.

“Are you alright, love?” The word shook you out of your thoughts. Not the question, the word. “You’re crying.” You looked at Loki and brought your hand up to your cheek. You hadn’t even noticed you had started crying. You weren’t entirely sure why you were crying either. Was it your face? The pain? Blindness?

“How can you call me that?” You asked softly. It wasn’t an accusation, more of a genuine question.

“Call you what? Love?” Loki asked, confused. He didn’t seem upset by the scar. More concerned about you rather than the burn covering your face.

“I’m not the same, Loki. I messed with magic that I shouldn’t have and now I’m stuck like this. And you love me?” You realized why you were crying. Before all of this, before Moros, or the Avengers, or even Thor, you thought much differently of yourself. You never would have believed that someone would’ve called you ‘love’ much less the same person from your days in Salem. But now, after everything that had happened, he still called you love.

“Because I love you. Do you not like it? I can call you something else…” He trailed off, trying to think of another name.

“No. I like it, I’m just confused I suppose.” You weren’t exactly sure how to describe what you were thinking.

“Well, I love you. I know it’ll take longer for me to earn your love back, but I’ve missed you all these centuries. Now that I finally have you in my arms again I will not let you go over something as small as a scar.” He seemed to understand what you were thinking without you having to say it, which you were thankful for. You couldn’t hear a lie as well and his, that was true. But you could at least tell when he was lying. And right now? He wasn’t lying.

You leaned up, pulling him into a much deeper kiss before you led him over to the elevator and took it down to the first level.

***

“C’mon, just let the bird-man carry you,” Tony said, bored.

“There’s no other way up?” Loki asked, staring anxiously at Sam. He wasn’t a fan of flying. At all.

“How did you think you were getting there?” Tony asked sarcastically. You rolled your eyes at the argument, instead, securing your new sword into the sheath on your back. The sheath didn’t quite fit since the sword hadn’t come with one and you had to hastily make your own with your magic. It was far from perfect, but at least it worked.

“I’m not sure, but I wasn’t expecting to cling on to false bird wings to fly!” You and Thor had given up and had decided to let Tony and Sam deal with him (much to their dismay). Eventually, after far too long an argument, Loki let Sam carry him. Tony had refused to pick up the trickster, and you didn’t bother arguing.

“I will have you know, I dislike this!” Loki called out, midair. Moros’ ship was above the city now. It was within the atmosphere, although the air only got thinner higher up.

“Yeah, we figured that out by now.” Tony said, sounding bored with Loki’s fear of flying (of course, Loki insisted it wasn’t a fear. Just an “extreme dislike”).

“Only a little further!” You shouted over the rush of wind. The coms weren’t as helpful when there was wind rushing past you. Tony and Sam were much better off with their helmet and goggles. With the wind drying out your eyes and mouth, you envied them.

Soon, you ended up on the side of the ship, attached partially with magic, and partially with some technology you didn’t entirely understand. Asgard may have had technology in their society, but Olympus consisted of magic and magic only. No fancy tech for you to learn about. Tony cut through the ship’s metal with little difficulty with some sort of laser, you hadn’t bothered to ask him about any of his inventions and he got too frustrated explaining them, although you appreciated that he always tried to. The much more important part was that you got onto the ship and Tony and Sam flew back down to help the team. By the faint sound of shots and screaming you could hear below you, you figured the fighting must have started already.

The ship was bigger than you expected. The space you had entered looked to be a garage-like area, full of ships similar to the one you had stolen. There was a hallway off to the side, lined with odd-looking lights.

“I’m not certain what I thought would be up here, but it certainly is not this.” You heard Thor say from next to you. The ship seemed exclusively black, white, and gray, a soft monochromatic theme that screamed ‘military’. It smelled of bleach and cleaning supplies, and the whole place was immaculate. In any other situation, you’d appreciate the cleanliness.

“It doesn’t much matter. We need to find my brother.” The boys next to you nodded and the three of you looked around to find some sort of map.

There were words printed on the side of the hall, and you stepped forward to get a better look at them. The listed off locations with small arrows. The halls were painted a light gray, it reminded you more of an asylum than an army base, but it was much better than the dirt and blood-covered halls on Kalan.

“Here!” You shouted over at Thor and Loki who were checking different areas of the ship. The ran over quickly, anxious to find your brother. “Main Room. That sounds like somewhere he’d be, right?” You asked. Loki nodded in response and the three of you started walking toward the room.

You were doing your best to stay quiet. You wouldn’t hesitate to fight anyone you needed to, but you’d like to avoid as many battles as you possibly could.

The halls were long and confusing, each had the same board you had seen earlier, pointing you towards the Main Room, whatever that meant. You had come across a few guards, who strangely didn’t seem alarmed at your presence. Loki had suggested the three of you had set off an alarm system when you broke in. Thor seemed to agree with this, meaning Moros was prepared for you. Just what you needed today.

Soon, you finally reach a large, overdramatic door. It was black, a sharp contrast against the light gray of the halls. You looked at Thor and Loki who had each gotten out their weapons. You pulled out your longsword and forced open the doors, doing your best to look composed.

“Sister.” The voice echoed off the walls of the main room. It was a huge space with a large window to the city below. There was a chair directly in front of the window, and you could see a large broadsword in a sheath next to the chair.

“Brother.” You responded, doing your best to match Moros’ volume. Thor and Loki stayed behind you, letting you do all the talking. You doubted there would be much talking with Moros though.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Moros asked. His voice reminded you of gravel below someone’s shoe. The low, rough sound took up the whole room. You walked the length of the room, standing next to his chair at the window. You kept your hand on your sword. You could hear Loki protest from behind you before you heard Thor say something in response. Loki’s protests stopped and you silently thanked Thor for whatever he had said.

“Please, get more comfortable.” He gestured to your eyes, and you knew what he meant. You took a breath and let your magic change your form. Your eyes darkened and black veins spread out from them. You felt a bit more self-conscious looking like that, but at least you were in… good company. Or at least company that wouldn’t be shocked looking at you like that.

“You’re a goddess of war sister, although you take much more pride in magic and darkness than I.” He said. He looked over to you. It had been a long time since you had gotten a close look at your brother’s face. Full gods chose their forms, and this would’ve been terrifying to anyone else. Anyone who hadn’t grown up with the literal concept of the night as their mother. His face was covered in what looked like cracks. His armor was old, you could tell. Maybe made by the Greeks themselves. His eyes though. His eyes were what scared you. They seemed to be a white color, but you could see something in them. It was like watching a million cities burn away all at once. Like watching solar systems die and people perish. It was disturbing. Ir made you wonder what people thought of your eyes when they were dark.

“You must still appreciate a good battle though? Fighting and monsters. That’s exactly what you should enjoy, is it not? Is it not perfect?” The question seemed genuine. You weren’t certain how to respond. He was right, you did enjoy a good battle. Sure, you were with the Avengers to help people, but saying that your inner war goddess didn’t seep out every once in a while would be a lie. But still, you had more control than this.

“People will die, Moros.” Your voice wasn’t stern, more concerned. Hopeful that maybe he’d listen. You knew he wouldn’t, but it was worth a try.

He only laughed. “You sound like a child, Sister. Like a younger sibling asking me to stop breaking her toys.” He slumped down more in his chair, seeming more relaxed than you liked. You glanced back at Loki and Thor, mouthing at them to ‘stay alert’. Thor seemed confused, but Loki got the message and whispered it to Thor. They looked around them, keeping their eyes on as much of the room as they could. You didn’t like the idea of falling into a trap.

Moros gave another small laugh. The rough sound of his laugh made you cringe. “Though I suppose I am breaking your toys, aren’t I? You’re better than this, you know. You sit all day with humans. They’ll die before you blink. You’ve got, what? Maybe fifty more years with them? That’s nothing. And then those Asgardians.” He said the word with disgust dripping from his tongue. Like he wanted to get it out of his mouth as soon as he could.

You could hear Thor and Loki stepping closer to you, just enough for you to feel their presence behind you. “Even they die, Sister. Give it 4,000 years. You’ll see. They aren’t gods. Not real gods. They haven’t shaped worlds. They didn’t create the sky, like our ancestors. They don’t control the tides or move the sun. They control wars or love like us. They don’t control magic, like you, Sister. You could defeat that sorcerer of yours. And that brute he calls a brother? He is no Zeus. They’re no gods, Sister. Not like you, not a witch capable of more destruction than I could imagine.” That’s what this was about. He wanted your magic. He wanted to see what you can do when you could let it all go at once.

“You never get to use all your power. It’s all caged until you have to save the next human. I don’t know why you bother. They’ll die soon anyway.” Moros stood, walking close to the window. You grew concerned when he left his sword behind. You looked behind you to Thor and Loki. They seemed… upset.

“You won’t die?” Loki asked, looking at you. He was upset, though you couldn’t tell why. You nodded slowly in response.

“Not unless someone kills me. We’re much different than Asgardians, though I suppose that was obvious.” He didn’t say anything else, so you turned back around to join Moros.

“Look at them. You must enjoy it, the fighting? It’s who you are. All of our siblings are dark people. Chaos, insanity, murder, death, war, destruction. We cannot control who we are, Sister. No matter how much you would like to.” You could see your friends fighting below you. They looked small from your view above the city, but you could still see them doing their best to fight the ships full of people running through New York. “Earth is a beginning. Our grandfather created this all, and I shall destroy it. It is the way of life. And it would be so much easier if you would join. This world is pointless. Humans live, they die, they impact nothing. They destroy their own planet. At the very least, don’t stand in my way. Go home, back to Olympus. I’ll even let you take your friends. Zeus would never oppose a daughter of Nyx!” He said, his happy tone contradicted his message.

Although, as sad as it was to admit, he had a point. As many people as you save, Earth would eventually crumble away. You’d have to return to Olympus sooner or later when the Universe eventually collapsed, and you wouldn’t even have Loki with you anymore. Asgardian life spans were impressive, but they didn’t last forever. Besides, your mother would want to talk to you about killing Ker eventually, not that you were excited about that conversation. She really hated it when her kids killed each other.

You couldn’t change who you were.

You’d always be the goddess of magic and war. You’d always have a place as Nyx’s youngest daughter. Always a child of the night, no matter how kind you were. Helping humans didn’t matter, it wasn’t as if the gods cared about them much anyway. There were plenty of other planets to fawn over and humans had long forgotten their existence. You could run away and keep Loki with you while you still had him. You could take up Moros’ offer. Drag all your friends away from the fight and bring them with you. Zeus never wanted to get on your mother’s bad side, which essentially gave you permission to break all the rules. You’d ignore Earth, convince them to save some other planets that were more worthwhile.

Moros was giving you time to think it over. You looked over the fighting. Every so often you’d see Sam and Tony flying over buildings, taking out as many soldiers as possible. But Tony seemed to stay close to the ship. He kept glancing back toward you, checking for any sign of change. He didn’t say anything. You couldn’t hear anyone contacting you over the coms, but he was thinking about you at least. And then you remembered…

How many of them would actually come?

There’s no way Steve would go with you. He loves these people too much, and he wasn’t your biggest fan. And if Steve was staying, so were Bucky, Sam, and Nat. If Nat was staying, so were Clint and Bruce. Thor had gotten attached to the humans over the past years. You couldn’t even blame him for it. Even Tony. He’d never say it, but he loved it here. He loved this team. Peter wouldn’t leave, he had his friends here. His new family. He was still an unofficially official Avenger, he’d never leave.

Which left you with Loki.

You could convince him to come. At this point, you were sure he’d go anywhere with you. You smiled at the thought, but the smile left your face quickly. You couldn’t leave your family behind. You couldn’t knowingly let a world die. You hoped that without you, maybe the Avengers would still find a way, but could you really take that chance. So, instead, you did just about the dumbest thing you could think of.

“Y/n, I know you may not like the humans as much as I do,” Thor started from behind you, “especially after everything they’ve done, but you aren’t thinking of saying yes, are you? There are billions of life forms here, not all of them are the same evil you’ve seen in your life. Please j—”

“Have you ever seen a sunset?” You asked calmly, ignoring whatever Thor was going to say. You were looking directly at Moros, and Thor recognized you weren’t talking to him. He didn’t interject again, letting you finish whatever thought you were going to start.

“What?” Moros asked incredulously.

“A sunset. Have you ever seen a sunset here?” You had a small smile on your face, remembering all the times you had seen a sunset yourself. They were beautiful.

“What does it matter if I’ve seen a sunset?” He was confused by your statement, completely thrown off. “That says nothing about humans! We created the sun, we created the sky, we move it across the heavens, we move everything!”

“That wasn’t my point, Brother. Have you seen a sunset?” You asked again, this time your tone sterner.

“This makes no difference, what are you talking about, Circe?” You glared again, not repeating the question. He sighed, resigning to your glare. “No, I have not.”

“You should. They’re beautiful. Humans love them. There’s a beautiful sunset in all of their romantic movies, they sit and just watch them constantly. Really. They do nothing but sit and watch the sun fall. There’s all these gorgeous colors, purples and oranges and yellows and pinks.”

You remembered sitting with Loki by the lake near Salem. It was a lovely view. Just the two of you, watching the sun sink past the dark lines of the trees, the sky echoing hues of orange. It was one of your favorite memories.

Moros looked at you like you were insane. “And?”

“That’s it. It’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything more lovely in my life. You should watch one. Just one. Just wait for the sky to turn and watch the sun over the ocean, you’d love it.” His expression didn’t change.

You could see Thor and Loki whispering to each other behind you, probably talking about how insane you sounded right about now. Talking to your genocidal brother about pretty colors.

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’?” Moros asked, “Is there no explanation?”

“What I mean is, there’s no point in sunsets. There will just be another one tomorrow.” You could still hear Loki and Thor behind you, and see the confusion plastered on Moros’ face. “But that doesn’t make them any less pretty. Humans are just like that. There will be a billion more and yes, some of them are much better than others, but they’re kind. And they create lives for themselves. They have friends and families, and this world is theirs. There is no point in wrecking everything just so you can ‘fulfill your purpose’. Maybe you should just destroy smaller things, things without as much life and beauty.

Moros groaned beside you. He walked back over to his chair and sat down, slumping against it. You followed shortly after, waving the next time Tony flew up close to the ship. You doubted he could see you, but if he could he’d feel a little better. You could hear some static over the com so you pulled it out of your ear. It looked like it was broken or something. Not that you understood anything about the technology in your hand. You shrugged and dropped it on the ground. If everything turns out alright, you could just grab it later. If.

“That’s your point? To leave because colors are nice? Go to Olympus, make your own colors! Sister, you have magic. Go create your own universe!”

“It’s so much nicer when you don’t make it yourself. You never know what’s coming that way.” You said, calmly.

Moros grabbed the broadsword next to him, once again coming to his feet. “I suppose it was worth an attempt, huh Sister?” He asked.

You sighed in response.“I suppose it was, Brother.”

You have a feeling you were talking about different things.

***

#loki x reader #loki #salem #saved work #fanfic

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imagine-loki · 5 years ago

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Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 56 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths. RATING: Mature NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Ella stood looking over the courtyard. Only a short time previous, it was bare, nothing but harsh and ugly ice shards, now, it was in full bloom. Beautiful ice flowers grew everywhere possible cultivated proudly by those forced to abandon such professions when the realm had fallen to a barren wasteland. She looked around as beings from different realms walked and spoke in different groupings. It felt right, seeing different peoples from different realms together on the realm she called her home. She also noticed that she did not feel so lonely for her old home seeing some of her favourite parts of it on her new home realm. Conversation was so important to her, so seeing the likes of such being opened with those of Jotunheim, it filled her with contentment. “You seem somewhat unhappy, you have done ever since the coronation.” Ella turned to look at her mother who was standing not too far away. “What ails you so, Mother?”

“Your husband is king…”

Ella was going to correct her mother with the term mate, not husband, but she stopped herself, it was irrelevant, it was the same thing by a different name. “He is.” She smiled proudly at such.

“Yet you were not made his queen.”

“There are no queens on Jotunheim, Mother. There never has been. All Kings except for Loki have multiple mates, so there never has been a call for such, which would be made queen? All of them being so would not have been an option.”

“This is not like other times,” Frigga pointed out. “There is only you now.”

“It is the way here, Mother. I know it is confusing, but you get used to it.” Ella purposely kept her tone light, not wanting to be seen to argue with her mother if any where to pass by them. “How was the Garden of Tyrell? I hope you brought one or two scrolls with you.”

“You are carrying a child, you should not even be considering new spells of that nature,” Frigga admonished.

“He will be here soon and though my days will be busy tending to him, I will still have time for such things. I always intend to have time to broaden my learning, even when I left home I wished for such.”

“Tending...surely you will have assistance?” Frigga had learnt quickly that on Jotunheim, there were no nursemaids to assist and raise the children but she thought Ella’s own entirely different rearing would have meant she would have done something different to the Jotnar. “Being of a foreign realm, you were never taught such things.”

“I can learn, as all mothers do. It has not been impossible through the ages, I think it something I can grasp it. Many women of far lesser means have done so successfully. Honestly, Mother, I feel as though you have no faith in me.”

Frigga felt her throat become tight at those words. “I have never doubted your ability since the day you proved all my ideas of you wrong for the second time. The first, I put down to fluke luck, the second...well, I was not going to allow myself to be mistaken again. You have never faltered to keep going in your attempts to do something. You may have, on occasion, had trouble trying to get there, but you always managed it. This will be no different but this is your most difficult hurdle to date. You are feeling the challenge of carrying a child, no doubt, not assisted by being somewhere so cold, I would assume.”

“He is like his father, he prefers the cold, it has led to some issues, I will not deny it. My hips would like it if I had taken Father’s size more than yours but overall, it has been something of a pleasant experience.”

Frigga was uncertain if her daughter was saying such things to dismiss any issues she was suffering personally but seeing her smile, she knew she would not get an answer on such if it were the case. “Are you not frightened?”

“Petrified. Very soon, this child will be here and dependant on me to keep him alive, how am I not supposed to be scared?”

“Parenting on our realm is quite terrifying, to not even have that assistance here...”

“I will have Greta and Alma to assist me.”

“What of the other one?” Ella looked at her mother curiously. “She seems somewhat cold.” She paused for a moment as she thought over her words. “On more than one level.”

Ella nodded slightly. “Angrboða and I do not see eye-to-eye. We mutually agree that we should have very little to do with one another and that is one of the very few things we do agree on.”

Frigga’s brow furrowed slightly. “That cannot be easy.”

“We make it work. My concern is my family, Loki, myself and our child, not in that order, mind. My duty is to me and mine, not to get into squabbles with beings I have little to do with.”

Frigga looked at Ella for a moment before nodding slightly. “I think your brother to be far more like your father in appearance, though his mind is something I have never been able to decide as to who he takes after. You, on the other hand, you are your Father’s daughter in mind, though you look more like me, I think.”

Ella laughed slightly. “If you think it is from him alone that I get such things, Mother, you are poorly mistaken. I am as much you in mind as I am Father, with a dash of my own personality of my own making added in for good measure.”

“That mischievous streak has to have come from somewhere,” Frigga commented in her own jestful manner.

“We already covered that in you and Father, or did you think none would ever learn how it is you came to know not mere seidr but dark witches magic and how Father came to even have Mjolnir and Gungnir when both were not in the possession of Asgard before the incident on Niðavellir that no one seems to talk about yet seems so very obviously something that should be spoken about?”

“First of all, how do you know about my less than appropriate education and secondly, what occurred on Niðavellir?”

“It’s not hard to figure out when the witch I went in search of made a comment about my being my mother’s daughter and with regards to the situation in which Father came to have those weapons, all I will say is that I have spoken to some beings with information on such as they were witnesses to the situation in which he came to have them and it would most certainly come under the heading of mischievous, or did both of you think none would ever come to question such things?”

Frigga knew that there was no manner in which she could get her daughter to explain further. Instead, she accepted the answer she was given as she knew it would be the only one she would get. “You never cease to amaze me, Ella. your knowledge is unrivalled in many ways.”

“I am proficient at everything I do.” Ella could not help gently putting a hand to her stomach. “I just wish he could see you all more. It feels wrong to know he will not see you as often as we wish he could. I want him to know you all but it will only be fleeting moments of such.”

“I only hope his father will be somewhat interested in spending time with him.” Ella frowned at her mother’s words. “The demand for there being children was because of him yet his disgust at such…”

“Loki is very much excited for the arrival of the baby. He has made mention more than once of how he cannot wait to begin to interact and bond with him. With regards to the demand, as you call it, I know it is hard to believe, Mother, but Loki never asked for that; it’s true but like with many of the marriages you have witnessed in your years like this, where how it starts is not how it remains. I know that you are saying these things out of concern but you have nothing to fear, I can assure you. Loki is a good mate. He cares about me.”

Frigga did not know if she should say anything to her daughter about the uncertain hope she carried in her voice. She could only hope that her daughter’s trust was well placed, though the past would suggest that there was a significant chance she was wrong. Leaving the Garden of Tyrell to the news that her daughter was dying from an infliction such as her own seidr fighting her own mind terrified Frigga. She wanted to call on Heimdall and have him bring her to the Ice Realm post-haste, to level it alone if Odin would not help her over what Loki had done to inflict such horrific isolation on Ella but she knew Heimdall would already have been told by Odin not to allow such, so she was forced to return to Asgard and prepare for her daughter’s return. When Odin returned to Asgard alone, informing her that Ella would not be dissuaded from remaining on Jotunheim, she fought once more to go see her daughter, mostly in an attempt to have her see sense and return home but again her husband thwarted her attempts to do so, stating they could not protect Ella from the realms forever, that their daughter had made her decision and it was their duty to respect such. If they could respect the decision of their son to battle when he could very easily be killed, they needed to extend the same to their daughter, though both privately knew it was different with Ella. She was different to Thor, reminding them both of their most notable traits, her bright eyes yearning for new knowledge all through her life and both elated to be the ones to bestow it on her. Thor tended to be more headstrong, like his father as Frigga often commented, but Ella, she was every bit the queen her mother was and far more, making the actions of Loki in not making her queen all the more baffling to Frigga. Everything felt so conflicting. His movements beside her as they stood side-by-side in the hall meeting guests were of caring, the fact he did not name her his partner conflicted with that in her mind.

#loki #others #submission #Submitted one shot #Pride and Prejudice #chapter 56 #wolfpawn

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notyetneedcoffee · 5 years ago

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Crossroads

Answer to Lexi’s 1k @the-omni-princess Challenge! Congrats!

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; some Steve x Peggy; very Steve-centric

Warnings: ANGST and loads of it!

Author’s note: This is my AU of Steve’s final Pym jump from End Game

____________________

The silence reminded him of the nights during the War. After the raging battle, even the animals and bugs refused to reveal their whereabouts. Although tonight he wondered if even the forest mourned Tony Stark. Steve Rogers sat alone in the middle of a glade not too far from the cabin Tony had called home. He tried to sleep, attempted to rid himself of the bone-weary exhaustion, but his mind would not shut down.

He knew everyone assumed his withdrawal, his moodiness and pain, stemmed from the battle and loss. A part of him felt immense guilt that they should be right, but they weren’t. After all these years of war on various scales, he felt the pain of loss differently. It just was a fact of life.

What spun his mind into a maelstrom of conflicted thoughts, tore his gut up with guilt, was something completely personal. Every option his highly strategical brain considered ended in pain and suffering for people he loved. Every option terrified him.

He’d seen Peggy.

It’d only been a moment, but seeing her young and vibrant sent his world spiraling. She wasn’t ravaged by age and Alzheimer's. As strong and lovely as the picture he carried with him, but in the flesh. Every missed opportunity and regret hit him all at once. It pulled at his heart, making him want to hold her like the awful pain of the years never happened.

The threat of Thanos did allow him to think about it. So, it just took up residence in mind.

Then there was the battle.

Those once lost were back. Sam in his ear. Bucky fought his way to his side.

He’d seen you.

Among the chaos, with your beautiful face set in grime determination, he caught a glimpse of you battling your way through the aliens. Fierce and powerful, you looked exactly the way you had the day he’d lost you in Wakanda. All the nights of passion, the solace and trust found in one another, lit his chest. Seeing you made him fight harder, renewed his strength.

The war was won. Friends were lost. Bodies were battered. Steve found himself holding you, but unable to do much more. Those who were lost tried to fathom being gone for so many years, to comprehend the changes to the world. You clung to him and wept. He’d missed you. He felt such relief having you in his arms.

Guilt ate him alive.

“You look like you’re planning all kinds of stupid.” Bucky’s voice came out of nowhere, making Steve jump.

“I’m just thinking.” Steve sighed.

“Like I said, stupid.” Bucky sat down on the log next to him so close their thighs touched.

Steve laughed without any humor. He felt tears push against the back of his eyes. Bucky’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. His head fell forward into his hands. He was exhausted.

“Rhodes filled me in on a few things.” Bucky squeezed his buddy’s shoulder. “Sounds rough, particularly for you and Natasha.”

“God. Nat.” Steve choked. He looked up at the stars, sniffing back reluctant tears. “I am so tired, Buck. I don’t have any fight left me. None.”

Something inside Bucky crumbled. He knew Steve meant it. That kid who got up time and time again after getting his ass beat, ready to go again because it was the right thing to do finally couldn’t. He just nodded, squeezing his friend tighter, not trusting his own voice.

“Part of me just wants to go back to a simpler time, make different choices.” Steve whispered, hating himself a little for saying it. “Not take on the fight, not take on the pain, and just live a simple life.”

“Yeah,” Bucky cleared his tight throat. “Although even when we were kids, things weren’t so simple.”

A long silence stretched before Steve moved away a little. “Not talking about when we were kids. I mean actually going back.”

Bucky froze. No.

Steve glanced at his friend, the hurt look staring back doubled the guilt eating away at his gut. “I saw her, Buck. Peggy.” He returned his focus to the stars. “I never stopped loving her.”

Torn between wanting to hit him and wanting to shake him, Bucky stood up. He paced, stopped, and paced some more. Steve stared at his hands in silence. Finally, Bucky stopped in front of him. His words were tight, ground out through clenched teeth. “Never mind me, or Sam, or anyone else on the team... what about Y/N? You don’t love her anymore?”

“Of course, I love her.” Steve’s face crumbled.

“So you’re just going to abandon her?” Bucky snapped.

“She’s strong, a fighter...”

Buck cut him off. “Yeah and Carter was always such a pushover.”

Steve pushed his hands through his hair. His voice broke, cracked with pain and exhaustion. “I can’t do it anymore. Bucky, please. I can’t fight anymore battles. I don’t have it in me. I’ve given up my whole life for everyone else. Always. I just...” A sob ripped free, and he stuffed his fist in his mouth.

“Pal,” Bucky put his hand on Steve’s head. “If anyone deserves to have a happy ending, it’s you.” Tears of his own slipped down his face. “You know I have your back, no matter what. If never seeing you again means that you’ll be able to have a happy life, then there’s no way I would hold you back. I’d hate it, but it would be worth it if I knew you were happy.”

“Buck.” Steve sniffed. “I don’t mean to...”

“Just be sure before you tell Y/N. I mean be absolutely positive.” Bucky’s face went hard. “Don’t break her heart and then change your mind. I swear I will break your neck.”

“What if I don’t know?” Steve whispered.

“Then don’t say anything to anyone.” Bucky sighed. “If you don’t come back, then I’ll explain it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. I’m telling you, that’s how it should go.”

“Buck,” Steve stood. They embraced, hugging tight. “Love you, punk.”

“You too, jerk.” Bucky squeezed him hard, praying to whatever powers that be that he would not have to tell everyone who loved Steve too that he would never be coming home.

__________________________

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back” Steve tried to smile. ‘I still don’t know. Don’t say anything.’

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky forced a smile, too. ‘Be sure, whatever you do.’

Steve stepped up on the platform. The first jump would take him to Asgard.

Thor gave him very specific instructions on how to return the Aether. Steve chuckled when Thor told him to put the hammer down anywhere, but on a window sill would be best... less damage to the building when he called it.

He arrived in a cavernous hall, surrounded by stone and gold. Unfamiliar scents filled the air, pleasant and rich, but he could not place them. Steve heard footsteps and ducked behind a corner. The person stopped close. He waited, silent.

“You must be a very close friend of my son’s.” A woman spoke. “Come out. I won’t raise the alarm.”

Steve cautiously stepped into the open. She was regal in every sense of the word. “Why not?”

“You are able to wield Mjolnir. It’s no small feat.” She smiled gently. “He was here earlier. The future is not going to be kind to Thor.”

He swallowed, taking a deep breath. Thor confessed to him privately he’d seen Frigga. Now seeing her for himself, Steve understood why. He didn’t even know her and he wanted to tell her everything even if he knew he couldn’t. She just radiated a calm, a peace he wanted to drown in.

“It’s not kind to any of us.” Steve sighed. “I have to return this to Dr. Foster. I don’t want to, but I can’t risk not doing it.”

“Alright.” She smiled sadly. “Let me see what I can do to help. Follow me.”

He did, without question.

“I don’t want to know what is going to happen, what has happened to you. It has something to do with the Infinity Stones, though doesn’t it?” Frigga glanced sideways at Steve. His jaw clenched. She slipped her hand into his elbow and grinned when his arm instinctively came up to properly escort her. “Did my son tell you anything of my power, my upbringing?”

“Thor say you’re the kindest and wisest person he’s ever known.” Steve answered. “You taught Loki much of his magic and that you see things, the truth of things.”

“That’s one way of putting it. I can follow of the strings of destiny.” She patted his bicep. “I can tell that you, like my son, stand at a crossroads. Perhaps the most important one of your life, because this one is a decision all your own. I don’t know what, but I know it’s deeply personal and profoundly painful.”

Steve stopped, staring wide eyed into her calm face.

“I find when I cannot unravel the answer, I lean on wise counsel.” Frigga led him on. “I may not be the best counsel for you. There is an Ancient One more familiar with your ways that is close to where you call home. Before you do anything else, I would seek out her.”

Steve’s mind jumped to the encounter Banner told him about with the woman who gave him the Time Stone. “Do you know her?”

“No, not personally.” Frigga smiled. “But she protects not just Midgard but all of Yggdrasil. Those of us with the ability definitely know of her.”

They stopped before a large door ornately carved. “Give me a few moments, then come in.”

Steve waited, listening intently. Nothing but the distant sounds of the city reached his ears. Finally he pushed open the door, peering inside. Frigga stood over the sleeping form of Jane. She waved him over assuring him that the little mortal would not feel a thing, nor would she remember. He felt a little sick when he injected the Aether back into Foster.

He stood back, staring into Frigga’s kind eyes before deciding to change his plans. Reprogramming the controls for the jump to take him to New York instead of Morag. Extending a hand, Steve took her small hand in his. “Thank you, for everything.”

“When you see my son, tell him to take care of himself.” She pulled him close and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself, too.”

Steve nodded, unsure how he would do it, but willing to try. He stepped back and pressed the button.

________________________

The jump dropped him on the roof of a building. He looked around, seeing the Chitauri battle not far away. His stomach dropped, the memories of the losses still keen. Another day when everything changed. A battle won, but the world’s innocence died. Aliens were real, and they were as bad as people ever imagined.

“It seems as if Dr. Banner was true to his word.” A calm voice spoke.

“I’ve come to return the stone to you.” Steve turned to see a small, bald woman in eastern clothing. Although nothing like the Norse Goddess, she radiated a similar calm...a powerful presence, like a monolith unmoving among the storm.

With a wave of her hands, the green stone rose from its container and return to its home in the Eye hanging around her neck.

“Captain,” She stared at him in a manner that left him feel exposed. “Walk with me.”

She turned, entering the building. Steve followed. Inside the temperature dropped, not uncomfortably. The dim light reflected off the well-polished wood. Cases held artifacts and books lined the shelves. The air smelled spicy, like raw incense.

“Time is an interesting thing. It is complex.” She spoke melodically as she wove through the glass cases. “It is linear, yet not. It is set, yet holds immeasurable permutations. What is not complex is our journey through it. With every moment, every experience, we change. We incorporate all that we learn as time passes, yet if we move through time we do not unlearn what we know.”

Steve felt his brow pull together. “I suppose we are all molded by our experiences.”

She paused at an hourglass, looking at sands drop a few at a time. “I think you are looking to unlearn what time has taught you. I’m afraid you cannot dial back who you are as easily as rolling back the hands of a clock. Somethings are too powerful to unmake, some threads of who we are cannot be broken.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Steve frowned. He just wanted to rest, to have his turn to be happy.

“You are tired, Captain.” She stepped closer, arms folded behind her back. For all of the intensity, she looked upon him kindly. “We often cannot see clearly through weary eyes.”

His eyes closed, feeling the burn of frustrated tears again. Steve ground his teeth together. “I am.” He sighed. “And I have a lot more to do before my mission is complete.”

“I would offer you safe place to rest, but I don’t think you will accept.” The edge of her mouth tipped up with a hint of a smile.

“No.” Steve took a deep breath. “I have a long way to go.”

“Very well,” she led him to a large round window where they could see the battle raging in the distance. Turning, she placed a hand on his chest over his heart. “You are a good man, Steve. Through trials and strife, you have remained true to yourself. What’s more, you have evolved. You’ve grown.” A calm smile spread across her face. “Like so many things in the universe, the more you grow, the more you realize how small you are. The more you know, the more you realize you have yet to learn. It can be burdensome, exhausting. But it can also be an exhilarating adventure if we can see it through fresh eyes.”

Steve knew he should be contemplating her words more deeply. He knew he should heed Frigga’s words and seek this woman’s counsel. However, it just caused the pain in his head to increase. He didn’t want to consider the cryptic meaning behind this woman’s words. He wanted to fold Peggy in his arms, in a simpler place, in a simpler time, and just sleep for days.

The strange woman stared at him, making him feel like she could see straight through him to question his inner most desire without ever saying a word. A defensive urge surged, but he fought it back. Strange called her the Ancient One. Frigga said she defended the world on this plain and others. Getting defensive over her stare, especially when he carried so much doubt was foolish.

That small smile touched her lips again. “Be well, Steve. May your path eventually lead you to happiness.”

Steve stared out the window at the battle once more, another memory rising to the surface. Out there, among the populace running for their lives, you were helping Clint after he crashed through a window. You helped him evacuate the building and fight off invaders. It was the turning point that brought you into his life. It was the day you decided to give up your job at the FBI to join the Avengers Initiative.

Guilt twisted his insides, and he choked out “thanks” before turning to leave. He had to return the scepter to Stark Tower. He stopped when she called out his name once more.

“At least allow me to help you get to your next destination safely." She held out one hand and formed a circle with the other. A portal opened.

He could see the corner of the elevator banks in the lobby of Stark Tower. Steve’s mouth opened slightly. Did this woman really know what he was thinking? It was exactly where he wanted to intercept the Hydra Agents. “Thank...thank you.”

She gave him a nod, and he stepped through.

_______________________

Returning the Power Stone turned out to be thankfully uneventful. Steve hoped, as he climbed the mountainside on the Vormir, that the Soul Stone would be equally quiet. He did not see anyone. All of the intelligence proved out, no cities or even life forms to be seen.

“I never thought I would see you again.”

Steve brought his shield up, shooting with the other hand. The black clad figure only looked down at himself, unmoved as if the bullets passed straight through. Johann Schmidt laughed, red skulled face cracking in a grotesque mirth.

“Captain.” He held out both hands. “You cannot kill me. I’m already in purgatory.”

“What?” Steve didn’t relax his stance.

“I made the mistake of trying to control a Stone and have been paying the price.”

“You’re...” Steve swallowed past the vice grip around his throat. Clint’s words echoing in his mind about the red floating guy who made them choose. “You were here when Natasha sacrificed herself for the Soul Stone.”

“Yes. A soul for a soul.”

“I’ve brought it back.” Steve strode forward, fury growing with each step. “I want her back.”

“Ah. Interesting.” Schmidt’s red face tilted sideways, studying him. “Her soul would have worked for you as well.”

“A soul for a soul. That’s what you said.” Steve growled. “I want her back.”

“Yes, because you are tied to her, returning the stone will release her.”

Steve gasped.

“Though not the way you wish, I think.”

Cap tried to grab him but got a fist full of black mist. “What do you mean?”

“If you return the stone, her soul will return to your life somehow, though not in the form you knew.”

“Like, what? Reincarnation?” Steve frowned.

“No. Yes.” Schmidt shrugged. “The souls that weave together over time touch and change over lifetimes. If you return the stone, her soul will be free to join the tapestry again.”

“How?”

“Throw it into the abyss.” The black spectral hand pointed to the edge.

Steve approached the edge, acutely aware this was the last place Natasha was alive. His breath grew shallow. The pain of her loss stabbed his chest. He never properly mourned Nat, his sister in every way but blood. He trusted her, loved her, would never be the same without her.

Finding himself looking down into a deep chasm, the bottom obscured by black fog, Steve threw the stone. He gave a silent prayer that she would be free, would touch his life again. As the stone disappeared, a golden orange shaft of light shot skyward. Brilliant, like the burning of the setting sun over the desert. The light spread radiating heat. Then vanished.

Steve looked down to see a solid stone floor far below in the chasm. He stepped back from the edge with a sharp intake of breath. Then it hit him. Faint, but undeniable, Steve could smell her. He closed his eyes and breathed deep. Natasha. Another breath and it was gone.

He turned around, remembering Schmidt, but didn’t see him anywhere. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps Nat’s soul was free and that somehow, someway, it would touch his again. The thought brought a little bit of warmth back.

There was only one stone left to return. Steve set the controls for New Jersey 1970.

______________________

Returning the Tesseract was simple now that Steve knew his way around the secure sections of the Army base. He made his way through the halls towards Peggy’s office, nerves moving him forward, but having no idea what he would say. The lights inside the office were office, creating both a surge of anxiety and relief.

Making certain no one noticed, he slipped inside. In the dim light he saw the photo of himself on the desk. Not after the procedure, but from when they’d first met. It warmed his heart that this was the version of himself she chose to remember.

He set it back down and looked around... and froze.

He did not notice the far wall last time. It was full of framed photographs and certificates. A large photo of Peggy and her family held a place of honor in the center. Her husband was a kind looking man, her children were beautiful. They looked to be young teens in the photo.

Another photo showed her and her daughter when she was a baby. Another of her son in his little league gear. Peggy and her husband stood beside Howard Stark and John F. Kennedy in one picture.

Certificate and diplomas memorializing Peggy’s hard work and advancement were presented side by side with her family. She showed everyone she could fight the good fight and what she was fighting for...all on one wall of photographs.

All the memories Peggy told him about.

Steve found himself sliding to the floor, back against a file cabinet and hand squeezed tightly over his mouth. He wanted to scream. All her hard work, everything Peggy did for the world, and he hadn’t even considered it. She wouldn’t give up. If he showed up in 1945, she wouldn’t understand wanting to hide from the world. Even if she agreed, she would never do any of these things.

His eyes locked closed as he fought back a sob. It was all a foolish dream. There was no going back. The Ancient One spoke the truth. He may be able to go back in time, but he can’t undo what time did to him. He was not the naive soldier Peggy knew. Steve choked. He felt battered, and bitter, far too cynical to even pretend to be that man again.

Still, every fiber in his being screamed to hold her. The tears she shed every time he visited her in the nursing home killed him a little bit. He wanted his dance.

Turning to the filing cabinet at his back, Steve quietly dug through the files until he found what he needed. An old address and an old date.

_______________________

Steve reached the house just as the sun went down. The curtains were open and he could see Peggy moving back and forth from the living room to the kitchen. His palms were sweating. A brand new 1947 Buick drove by as he crossed the street to the front steps. His heart pounded so hard he could hear it in his ears as he knocked on the door.

Peggy answered with a smile, but her eyes went huge and filled with tears. Her hand covered her mouth.

“Hey, Doll.” Steve reached out, taking her by the elbow and stepping inside. “It’s okay.”

“St-Steve.” Peggy breathed. He nodded. Her hand came out and touched his chest, his face. Tears fell. She stepped forward and he wrapped his arms around her.

Steve sighed, holding her closed, breathing her in. Some deep empty gash began to stitch closed. They stood there for a long time before Peggy’s curiosity grew. “How?”

“We need to talk.” Steve’s fingers traced over her back. “Can I – Can I just hold you for a minute more?”

She nodded against his chest.

“I’m going to tell you something that’s pretty hard to believe.” Steve buried his face in her hair. “And I’m going to ask you to never tell anyone about it. Ever.”

“Steve,” She gave a tearful chuckle. “You’re back from the dead. You’ve got hard to believe covered.”

He pulled back, cupping her face in one large hand. Steve’s mouth covered hers, soft and sweet. Tentative, Peggy kissed him slowly. He found himself instantly conflicted. Relishing in the simple kiss, one he only dreamed of having, he simultaneously missed the ravenous intensity of the kisses he shared with you.

“How? Steve? What happened?” Peggy pushed back.

“Best we sit down.” Steve led her to the sofa. He took her hands in his.

Steve didn’t know where to start. He’d thought about it, considered all the best options, but there still did not seem like any good options. He turned to face Peggy more directly. His brows drew together.

“What happened after the crash?” Peggy asked.

“I was frozen... for about 70 years.” Steve stared at their joined hands.

“What?” She breathed.

“I’m - I’ve come back from, well, a long time from now.” Steve looked into her wide eyes. “I can’t explain how. I shouldn’t even be here. I just had to...” He bit back his words, fighting to control himself.

Peggy let out a slow breath. “That means... oh Steve. It would be a completely different world. Everyone you know. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” He shook his head. “I, um, found friends...people that became like family. But everything is so...” Steve’s face pinched, tears threatening to fall. He whispered. “I just really missed... I wanted to have that dance.”

Her hand ghosted over his face and he opened his eyes. “What happened? I’ve never seen you look so...”

Tears fell as he finished for her. “Tired. I’m tired, Peggy. I’ve fought, and fought, and I don’t think I can do it anymore. I’ve seen things, battled things, that make the Nazis look like pussycats. There’s no more clear right and wrong. There’s no more good answers.”

“Stevie.” Tears fell down her cheeks matching his. Her fingers stroked through his hair. “I’m so sorry. But if you have this ability, this technology, then can you keep these things from happening?” She watched him shake his head. “Too easy, huh? What about your friends?”

“Lost some of the best. Nat, Tony.” Steve’s face crumpled. “Tony is, was, Howard’s son.”

Peggy’s hand covered her mouth as Steve went on.

“He was brilliant, Peggy. Smarter than Howard ever imagined. He sacrificed everything. Now his little girl...”

“She has you, right?”

Shame flushed fresh over Steve. He’d never even consider Morgan. “Yeah, she has a lot of us. Every one of the Avengers will look out for her.”

“Avengers?”

“Um,” Steve frowned. “We’re a collection of highly skilled, gifted, agents of a sort. We fight the bad guys.”

“And there’s a lot of Avengers.” Peggy asked, still smoothing his hair.

“More that I would have thought possible when we first started.” Steve nodded.

Peggy held his face in her hands. “You are always the one to lay on the wire, to lead the charge. Steve, maybe you need to let your friends fight some battles, too.”

“They do...”

“Steve. Maybe you can let them fight a few without you.” Peggy’s worried expression finally registered in his tired mind. “You don’t always have to be the one leading the charge.”

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against hers. “Always so smart. You’re going to do amazing things.”

“Don’t tell me.” Peggy placed a finger over his lips. “I want to be surprised.” He sighed. “We’re not going to meet again, are we?”

“You said you want to be surprised.” Steve whispered. His lips trailed over hers again. She pulled back before the kiss could deepen. “Never stopped lovin’ you, though.” He confessed.

“Me too.” Peggy cried. She sniffed. “I should let you know, though, there’s a very good man who wants to marry me.”

Steve sat up a little straighter, wiping his face before give her a smile. “You love him?”

“Yeah,” She wiped her own tears. “Although, I’m making him wait. There’s things I want to do first.”

He laughed. “That’s my girl.”

She laughed as well, taking his hand again. “Even though you’re out there somewhere, and I’m not going to have you in my life,” Peggy swallowed hard, “I’m so happy you’re still alive and have people who care about you.”

Steve stared at her for a long time. “Do you think I could have that dance before I go?”

____________________

You stepped up between Bucky and Sam when Bruce announced that Steve missed the return time. Sam looked confused, but the look on Bucky’s face made your heart sink. He knew something. You took his hand.

“You came?” He asked.

“Tried to get here in time to see him off but I was held up.” You chewed your lower lips. Pulling him away from the others, you dropped your voice. “He was really distracted, hurting, before he left.”

Bucky nodded.

“So was I.” You squeezed his hand harder. “God, Buck, I have the worse feeling. But I don’t know what I’m thinking right now. With everything that happened, learning about what we missed, losing Vis and Nat and Tony. Feeling like shit and now finding out...ugh, I’m just losing my mind right now.” Big tears filled your eyes.

He took you by the shoulders. He did not want to say anything, not yet. Steve just missed the return time a minute ago. “Finding out what, Doll?”

You reached into your back pocket and handed him your phone, a readout open on the screen. He looked it over carefully, twice. You cried as his eyes lifted back to you.

Wrapping you in his arms, Bucky rubbed your back. “Just breath, okay? When did you...”

“Just now. It’s why I’m late.” You held tight to his chest. “I should have done it earlier. What something happens and Steve...”

“Bucky!” Sam shouted.

You both looked up to see Steve walking toward you all from the lake. You felt Bucky take a deep breath. You let out a small sob. He placed his hand at the small of your back. “Come on.”

Sam was just pulling away from a hug when you come closer. Steve looked at you, seeing the tears in your eyes. “Buck?”

“No. She’s got news.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve pulled you closer, thumbing away a tear at the corner of your eye. You pulled him closer to kiss him. Your lips pulling at his lower lip, before your tongue slid along his, drawing a low moan from him. He pulled you close, burying his face in your hair. He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” You pulled back some.

“Being an idiot.” He sighed. “A tired, stupid, idiot.”

Steve stood up straighter. “I need to tell you guys something. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I never thought I’d say this but, I’m stepping down.”

“What the – wha?” Sam sputtered.

Steve stepped away from you and gripped Sam’s shoulder. Every bit of anguish showed in his eyes. “I can’t do it, man. Not now. These last years, these battles, just took all I had left. I’ve thought about it.” He held out his shield. “I want you to hold on to this.”

“You’re full of shit.” Sam balked.

“No.” Steve shook his head. “You do what I do, remember? It’s you.”

Sam hefted the shield. Bucky smiled. “Doesn’t look like complete crap.”

“Piss off.” Sam laughed.

“So, what are you going to do, then?” Bucky asked Steve.

“It’s going to take a lot of work to just get things working across the world again. I’d like the Avengers to have a positive impact on the changes without having to resort to something like the accords.” Steve answered thoughtfully. “I think it’s work that would rejuvenate me. I’m tired of breaking things. I’d like to create something instead.”

“Sounds like you’ll be doing a lot of that.” Bucky’s smile spread ear to ear.

“Buck,” You rolled your eyes him as you slipped under Steve’s arm. “Come with me.”

You led Steve back toward the water. He held you close, voice tight. “Sweetheart, I’m really sorry. I’ve been...messed up. I should have been at your side every minute. I know I said it before, but my god, life just fell apart with you gone. Coming back, and everything is different, is such a shock. And it’s only been a few days...”

You stopped, facing him. “Steve, do you really mean you’re stepping down from missions?”

“Yeah, Sweetheart. I’ve got to.”

“Good. Me too.”

Steve’s quizzical look caused you to pull your phone from your back pocket.

“I didn’t make when you left out for your mission, because I was having this rerun. I didn’t think it was possible, but the test is conclusive.” You handed him the report.

Fresh tears filled Steve eyes, these washed away his pain and filled him with joy. He read the words again and again, pregnancy: positive. A bright smile met your own, he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to be a dad.”

You nodded as he swept you up in his arms and spun you around. He kissed you deeply, thoroughly. Finally, smiling against your lips, Steve said. “Love you. Thank you for being there for me, for being here for me. You and this little princess are everything to me.”

“Princess, huh?” You cuddled into him. “Already sure it’s a girl?”

“Just a hunch.” Steve kissed your hair, utterly confident in the turn he’d taken at the crossroad.

TAGS:

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#the-omni-princess1kwritingchallenge #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers

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sserpente · 5 years ago

Text

As a last resort

A/N & Synopsis: Based on a prompt sent to me by @imboredsueme:

The hero shows up at the villain’s doorstep one night. They’re shivering, bleeding, scared. There’s also a slightly dazed look in their eyes--they were drugged. They look like they were assaulted. Looking up at the villain, swaying slightly as they’re close to passing out, they mumble: “...didn’t know where else to go...”, then collapse into the villain’s arms.

Sometimes, inspiration strikes you and when it does, you have to strike back. Featuring one of my favourite AU’s. 😉

Words: 2542 Warnings: Loki wins AU, mentions of drug use, drink spiking and attempted rape, fluff

Things were different around New York City ever since the Chitauri attack. Ever since the Avengers, hope of civilisation, society and humanity, had lost Earth to a man as beautiful as he was dangerous and the disappointment and anger the people had met you with on the streets had driven you further into living a hazardous life in the shadows.

Loki had announced a hefty bounty for your capture. Yours, and that of his adoptive brother Thor, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Heavens knew whether Tony Stark, Bruce Banner and Clint Barton were still alive after they had disappeared in the Avengers’… Loki’s tower around six months after the alien invasion. But the remaining Avengers were out there somewhere, hiding and planning to overthrow his ruling.

You had long given up on them trying to find you. Perhaps they thought you were dead—that you, a young woman with mere combat skills and two failed assassination attempts before you were recruited by the man you had been assigned to kill and became part of the Avengers only a few days after the God of Mischief had arrived on Earth to claim it, could not possibly survive this long in a realm ruled by chaos and malice.

They had left you and given up on you, choking you with all the hope that had swelled up in your chest every night before you curled up in a dirty rain barrel you had found to sleep in. Realisation had hit you after almost two years hiding among the homeless. You were alone in this world. You always had been. You had just been naïve enough to believe that the Avengers would finally change that.

Sure. The word, in the truest sense of its meaning, had sealed your fate tonight. You had shaken the devil’s hand, unsuspecting of the fatal deal you had struck. He was supposed to be an ally. Henry lived near the eerie scrap yard in the suburbs. He made money by stealing cars and selling the parts to shady dealers and they paid him enough to afford a flat he shared with friends. You had never asked but according to their looks, they were both drug dealers.

You had agreed to join them for a drink in a bar they knew would be safe for you to stroll in. Your face was all over the news, after all, the sum announced on your head making most people around New York City dizzy. It was high. Not as high as the bounty promised for the capture of Thor but higher than the bounty placed onto Captain America and Black Widow. Loki and you had fought in the past, regardless of you getting overwhelmed by the much stronger Asgardian, numerous times. He had offered you a way out to join him and you had refused. Now, self-preservation and the will to survive this hellhole New York City had become urging you on, you wished you hadn’t. Loki was a cunning and arrogant man. Something about you had fascinated him enough not to kill you when he brought you to his feet, disarmed and breathing heavily. But he had sworn revenge for your denial and rejection, for attempting to foil his plans.

When you realised that Henry’s friends, having asked for his consent prior to their actions, had spiked your drink, it was already too late. Whatever drug it was that now attacked your blood so aggressively and messed with your mind and thoughts, it burned like liquid fire in your stomach.

They had underestimated your combat skills when they dragged your weakened form outside through the back door to tear your clothes off your body which resulted in ugly holes revealing your skin on your thighs, stomach and chest. And you had fought back, striking with all your might and reaching for every body part that might hurt upon being hit as they had almost taken from you what you protected and cherished so dearly. Blood was streaming from your nose and the throbbing cut on your lip as well as a wound on your forehead. There were more injuries, for sure. The adrenaline cursing through your blood merely shut out the agony.

Bruises already formed on your stomach, one of the straps of your bra broken and revealing another cut right above your breast. A knife. Henry’s knife had done that. You would kill him for that and this time your assassination would not fail… if your survived this.

You moaned in pain when you heaved yourself into a dark alley to shield yourself from unwanted gazes. This was bad. This was really bad. You needed help but a hospital was out of the question. They would not help you without costs you could never cover without any insurance and if they recognised you…

Tears spilled from your eyes when another wave of sharp pain tore through your body, numbing your senses. You knew what fainting felt like… and you would lose consciousness soon if you didn’t act now and wanted to die in this alley. Your threw your head back, taking a deep breath which turned into a desperate sob.

Your sight blurred when you looked up into the cold night to see Loki’s tower protruding from the other buildings like an active volcano.

There was no need for Loki to guard the lobby downstairs, his Chitauri had made sure of that. He had made sure of that. People who walked into his tower usually did not make it back out unless they worked for him.

Sighing, he ran his fingers over his lower lip and tore his blue gaze away from the blond man who, only weeks after his victory over the Avengers, had volunteered to operate as his personal assistant and spy. He was a decommissioned politician, his motives questionable even to him—but thus far, he had proven to be useful.

His daily reports were beyond tiring and Loki could certainly think of more interesting activities to spend his evening. It was dark out already, thousands of artificial lights illuminating the nightly skyline of New York City and turning the many buildings beneath him into a murky sea.

He could use some distraction right about now. An attack, perhaps. Thor paying him a visit and starting yet another futile and brainless attempt to overthrow him with the sheer strength of his beloved hammer… sighing once more, he dismissed his lackey mid-sentence and leaned back in his cosy armchair, enjoying how silence spread in his living room and for once, letting his guard down.

That’s why the silent pling of the elevator caught him off guard, surprise and confusion rumbling inside of him as he stood to face the metal doors open to reveal… you. Loki closed the distance between the armchair and the elevator so fast any other human would have been intimidated but in your current state, you did not even notice.

What in the nine realms had happened to you? What were you doing here? If the Chitauri had caught you, one of their leaders would have been with you. If a bounty hunter had dragged you up, they would be demanding their reward right now.

Narrowing his blue eyes at you hostilely, he only took the time now to inspect your pathetic form. You were bleeding from several wounds, your clothes torn, skin covered in bruises and even cuts. Angry handprints and marks staining your flesh. Finally, you gathered the physical strength to look up at him shivering and scared, your eyes glazed and somewhat… abstracted. It was obvious you had been drugged by someone. What had happened?

“…I didn’t know where else to go…” You croaked out. Then, your eyelids flattered close and you collapsed into Loki’s arms.

The room you woke up in was not familiar. It was huge and spacious, neatly filled with dark brown furniture accentuated by golden engravings and green fabrics. The bed sheets covering your almost naked body were green too. Swallowing, you bit your lower lip to help ignore the pain and sat up a little to study your foreign surroundings.

A hot wave passed through you when your memories returned and hammered against your brain like Thor’s mjolnir, the amount of green and gold in the room a mocking reminder. Loki.

“You are awake.” Flinching hurt when his voiced pulled you back to the present. Next to him, the entire room appeared meagre and tiny, like his mere presence shrunk it all down. Your eyes locked with his, a scrutinising glare boring into you. Another memory. You had passed out in his arms. Your lips parted to respond but Loki cut you off before you could utter a single word.

“Tell me what happened to you.” It was not a question, it was a demand. But an explanation for why you had showed up at the very man’s doorstep who had suspended a bounty of a million dollars on you was the least you owed him.

I didn’t know where else to go, you had mumbled half-unconscious. Loki doubted you remembered your words and yet they had been echoing in his head ever since he had called for some nurses and a doctor. They had patched you up quickly, sewing the laceration on your forehead and tending to the wounds on the rest of your body. They had taken a sample of your blood, too, quickly finding the right antidote to fight the drug in your blood. You would recover.

What had you meant by “I didn’t know where else to go”? Surely, whoever was left of the Avengers would have come to your help nobly sooner or later. Loki wondered, genuinely, why they hadn’t. But even more important was the question why he had helped you.

He could have let you die and bleed out on his green carpet then and there, saving the bounty and announcing yet another victory to the already terrified people living under his reign in New York City. To decide against it had been impetuous and he had spent hours watching your sleeping form in his own bed attempting to figure out his motives.

And he had come to a conclusion. No matter whose side you had fought on two years ago, the moment you had stepped into that elevator, you were an innocent and likely assaulted woman in the need of help. You had come to him, of all people, knowing there was a chance he would bury his pointy sceptre deep in your stomach as soon as you stepped over the threshold. You had laid your life in his hands, presenting your head to him on a silver platter… and despite everything that had happened, you had trusted him enough to save you.

His question stirred up memories you did not want to harbour. Squeezing your eyes shut, you took a deep and painful breath.

“They tricked me. My drink… it was spiked. Outside, they tried to…” Your voice broke, tears worsening your sight. “They tried to rape me.”

Loki’s poignant expression darkened. “Who?” He growled. Would it make any difference to him if he knew? He could send for the Chitauri to kill whoever had dared to lay a hand on you and ravish you against your will. He clenched his fists. But why, by the Norns, would he care?

“Henry… his friends… I should have known better, I considered him a friend! He… he shared his food with me.” Out on the streets of New York City, starvation was one of the most common causes of death, right after death from exposure, drug use and alcohol poisoning and murder. Sharing food was a big deal.

Another look into Loki’s blue and nearly unreadable eyes made you burst out crying. You had no power to stop it, nor to hold it in until he had left. It must have been some kind of delayed shock that made you shake and sob uncontrollably with a start, hugging your knees to your chest for some sort of comfort.

Loki began pacing up and down his bedroom, unsure of how to deal with the situation in the most calculated way possible.

“You came to me fully aware of the consequences.” He stated bluntly, his voice surprisingly quiet. Another sob of yours tore through the air before you looked up at him so helplessly Loki felt a strange sting in his heart.

“You… treated my wounds. You won’t kill me now, w-will you? I know you are not that cruel, Loki.” Loki demanded respect and he demanded being addressed properly. As of right now, he was the king of this realm—he was your king. The provocative undertone in your voice when you spoke his name, despite your devastation, did not go unnoticed. It suited you and intrigued him. You had not lost your fire then.

“I just… I’m all alone. I didn’t know where else to go and you…” You did not finish your sentence as you did not know how. But there it was again. I didn’t know where else to go. You were right, of course. He would never kill you. You might have been an Avenger but you had not been so with all your heart. You acted out of desperation and the need of recognition, affection and praise—in which aspect, when he had first met and fought you, he had seen himself.

He had approached you before he knew himself, his feet taking control of his actions. You leaned back intimidated when he came to a halt right in front of you. Your fear of him was palpable. Loki was right. You had come to him knowing the consequences. Without probing you knew that he would not let you out of this tower again—and only Heaven knew if you would live long enough to deal with the gravity of your actions.

Yet, at the very same time, you felt an overwhelming gratefulness washing over your mangled body when your eyes locked with his once more. Loki could have let you die pathetically. He could have killed you the moment the elevator doors opened to reveal your weakened form… and he did not.

“Thank you. For saving me.”

What he did next surprised you both. Loki lifted his arm, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek. Long and soft fingers caressing your wet skin. It was a light, gentle and hesitant touch as if he was trying to figure out what to do with you—and the odd sensations in his chest ever since you had collapsed in his arms.

Your lower lip was shaking as your eyes fell shut upon his tender touch. You did not realise you began sobbing again and wrapped your arms around his middle until you were already holding onto him, desperate to forget your assault. Loki… held you. Hesitantly and rather maladroitly, he pressed you against him almost possessively. In any other situation, you would have snorted at your stupidity. You were hugging the villain. Why… did this feel so right?

He would positively kill Henry and his friends, slowly and intimately, to avenge you. But first, he would have to thank them for driving you into his arms.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate so much if you supported me on Kofi! kofi.com/sserpente ♥

Additional disclaimer: The original prompt that inspired this story seemed to have originally been posted by @one-lonely-whumperfly.

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peteerrpaarkerr · 6 years ago

Text

Day and Night (Peter Parker Soulmate AU) pt. 1

Summary: When Tony Stark first saw his newborn daughter’s soulmate marking, he was thrilled to know that she would get to experience a love like his and Pepper’s. However, 17 years later when Tony sees an identical tattoo on his daughter’s best friend/superhero protégé, Peter Parker, he vows to keep y/n safe by not allowing them to realize that their futures are intertwined.

Pairings: Peter Parker x y/n

Warnings: None at the moment, I will update each chapter accordingly

Author’s note: Hey guys! This is my first time writing a Peter Parker fic and I’m hoping it’ll turn out well! Please let me know if you want me to continue it or if you have any comments! Thanks!

/////////////

The day that Y/n Stark was born was the happiest day of Tony’s life. The second he laid eyes on Pepper cradling their newborn child, his heart burst from pride and love for his daughter.

He could not believe that he had helped create something so perfect… so innocent. He was full of admiration the second he knew Pepper was pregnant, but had no idea how important you would be in his life until he saw you for the first time.

From the way he was holding you, he got a glimpse of his soulmate marking that both Pepper and he had on their wrists: a compass. It signified that no matter how lost they were, they would always come back to each other. While it seemed like Tony was the only one that was lost, it perfectly summarized their relationship. It was one of the most beautiful things the universe had given Tony, besides now yourself.

He carefully lifted up your delicate wrist and saw no marking. He checked the other one and then your ankles looking for the tattoo. When he didn’t find one, his heart stopped beating for a second, assuming a terrible scenario where you might not have one. Before he could panic, Pepper tiredly told Tony, “There’s a small marking on her shoulder blade.”

Tony handed you over to Pepper and examined your back, noting the small, full moon that was printed on your skin. It was rather small, being no larger than a coin, but Tony was filled with joy. From seeing that moon, he knew there was someone for his daughter, someone who would take care of and love her forever. Someone who could protect her from the world’s darkest tragedies when she was older and who could be her closest companion.

“It’s perfect. She’s perfect.” Tony remarked, kissing Pepper’s and then your own forehead as the three of you shared your first moments alive.

——— 17 years later ———

“Y/n!”

You woke up to a frantic knock on your bedroom door. Lazily pushing back the covers, you opened your eyes and squinted at the golden light coming from your window. You sat there for a second, taking in the beauty of the skyline from the window in Avenger’s tower while the knocking became more persistent.

“Get upppp!” A voice dragged out while they begin wiggling the locked doorknob. “I know you’re in there!”

You smiled at the familiar voice and made your way out of bed towards the door. “Just meet me downstairs!” You yelled back, immediately turning around to get dressed for the day.

A loud groan could be heard from behind the door, but the person answered, “If you don’t hurry, I’m eating your crepes! And Thor made them, so they will probably be gone by the time you get there!” The person sprinted away from the door and you could hear their footsteps dwindle as they ran down the hallway.

You knew they were serious when they threatened to eat your crepes, so you quickly got ready for the day.

Approximately 4 minutes later, you ran in the kitchen and straight towards the counter, reaching for the last crepe, only for it to be pulled right out of your hand.

“Hey!” You exclaimed, “Not fair! It’s my-“

“Nope! I just had a training session, so it’s mine!” Natasha smirked, bringing the crepe towards her mouth before it was torn out of her hands by Clint.

“I’m named my son after you, so it’s my crepe. Nathaniel would agree.” Clint winked while walking away with the crepe, only to duck when the Mjolnir came flying at him, dropping the crepe into Thor’s waiting hands.

“I’m a god, it’s mine.” Thor remarked, still adorned in the chef’s hat and your old, child-sized, pink apron that read, “Mommy’s Favorite Helper”. Natasha and Clint started bickering with Thor over the crepe when Steve walked in, shook his head, and walked to the fridge to grab a glass of milk.

Suddenly, a metal contraption propelled through the kitchen, snatching the crepe and falling back into the hands of Tony Stark. He cheekily grinned as he stuffed the entire crepe into his mouth before anyone could have a say. “It’s mine because it’s my daughter’s birthday,” he uttered with his mouth full.

You frowned and added, “Hey, wait a minute… shouldn’t that be my reasoning to have the crepe?”

“Not a chance, Sunny Girl.” Your father winked, swallowing the rest of the crepe.

You rolled your eyes, but gave him a slight smile at the mention of your hidden soulmate tattoo. He thought it would be a funny inside joke to call you the opposite of what was on your shoulder blade since you were quite the opposite of him in your personality. There were a few similarities between Tony and you, like your love for science and your determination to help others, but you lacked in having his cocky and spontaneous tendencies. He considered you to be the perfect child and he would do anything to protect you from harm.

However, he apparently did not mind stealing the last crepe, leaving you without your favorite breakfast on your birthday.

“Hold up, y/n,” announced Peter, your best friend and the owner of the voice who had woken you up prior. “I saved you a stack of crepes!” You beamed when he presented you with a plate of crepes, strawberries and Nutella already in between the layers, just the way you liked it.

“Underoos, you spoiled the surprise! I was trying to make her think I was going to starve her on her birthday!” Tony stated sarcastically, nudging Peter a little when he walked past him towards the table.

“Aw, Pete,” you grinned at him, taking the plate and noting the Nutella on his chin, “I thought you said you weren’t going to save me any.”

“Of course I was! It’s your birthday… actually, I gotta admit, I ate one…” he trailed off, teasing you playfully as he handed you a fork.

You lightly laughed, reaching forward to wipe the Nutella off of his face. “I can see that, Parker.” You turned around to see your father and the other Avengers jokingly argue over who should have received the last crepe, not paying attention to you anymore. Wanting to eat your breakfast in a quieter environment, you tapped Peter’s shoulder and nodded your head towards the door, silently suggesting to leave the room. He nodded in response and you both headed off to your favorite place in the tower: your personal science lab.

When Tony learned that you enjoyed science as much as he did, he spared no expense into turning an entire floor into a space where you could explore experiments. As you grew older, it turned into more of an armor station for the Avenger’s, something you thoroughly enjoyed working with. You had an eye for knowing how to fix or enhance your dad’s creations, and you even began to build your own. You were fortunate enough to create some protective, yet fully-functioning armor for Stephen Strange and Bucky Barnes, which served well during daily missions. You hadn’t told anyone yet, but you were hoping to surprise Peter with a new suit and work with your dad to create a new line of health analysis systems for all of the team.

Peter waltzed into the room right behind you and sat in his usual rolling chair, pushing away on his feet towards the window. You sat on one of the desks, criss-crossing your legs, and began to eat your crepes.

“So,” Peter said, turning himself around to face you, “how does it feel to finally be 17?” You rolled your eyes at his question, knowing you were almost an entire year younger than him.

“I guess it’s alright, I don’t feel any older.” You shrugged, continuing to eat your crepes. “I’m excited because you finally can’t make fun of me anymore since we’re the same age,” you teased, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Yeah,” Peter scoffed, “for nine days. I’ll be 18 next Friday.” He chuckled as you threw a strawberry at him, hoping it would hit him in the face. To your dismay, his spidey senses quickly reacted and he caught it in his mouth.

You rolled your eyes again, something you found yourself doing more often than not around Peter since his antics were expected.

You and Peter had been best friends since your freshman year at Midtown School of Science and Technology. You may have been younger than Peter and your classmates, but your intelligence and maturity kept you in the top percentage of your class throughout all four years of high school. You and Peter were the proud co-salutatorians of Midtown, only 0.0002 in GPA-scale behind MJ, the valedictorian, and a good 0.008 ahead of Flash, who was still salty about “a couple of nobodies” beating him. What Flash didn’t know is that Peter and you managed to spend 85% of your time working on Avenger’s-related activities and rarely focused on your studies, which should have given him ample opportunity to beat you guys. That was one of the main things you and Peter laughed about throughout the past few weeks following graduation.

Peter knew you all the way from your favorite color to your dream job to your dreams in life. He knew you loved rainy days and chilly autumn seasons, and he knew your exact orders at all of the restaurants you would go to with him. As you grew closer, you confided in him with your greatest fears, being rejected and feeling alone. But he also knew that you were stronger than anyone he had ever known.

Despite you not fighting alongside the Avengers, he knew you put all of your energy into planning out the team’s strategies and suits. You worked harder than anyone on the team and he was beyond proud of you for it.

“Hey, y/n, did you turn in your class requests?” Peter asked, referring to your university schedule that would begin to consume your life in the next month.

“Yep, I submitted it last night before I started working on Nat’s tech boots.”

The two of you decided to attend Empire State University, both having full rides and not wanting to leave each other during college. Despite neither of you knowing your soulmates yet, you both knew that you wanted to be apart of each other’s lives for as long as you both lived. You were both so content with your friendship and living out your lives that you hadn’t discussed soulmates more than once the whole time you had been friends. You recalled that conversation when you were discussing where you both wanted to attend college.

Peter realized that he needed to stay in New York so that he could continue being Spider-Man while balancing his studies. He felt that he owed it to Tony after having been taken in by him as a team member and, after seeing the bond between you and Peter, a friend.

“Y/n, where do you think you’ll go to college?” Peter asked nervously, twiddling his thumbs in anticipation to your response. As much as it would pain him to watch you leave, he knew that going to another college might be the place where you find your career passion or even your soulmate. It could be detrimental to your future.

You looked up from your laptop, with open tabs for Carnegie Mellon and MIT, and shrugged. “I’m not sure yet, I guess I’ll decide when the financial offers come in.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Pffft, like you’re going to need them. You’ve got all the money in the world to pay for college.”

You giggled, shutting your laptop and giving your full attention to Peter. “Yes, I do, but you have to keep in mind that he will cover yours too.”

Peter turned bright red at the thought of Tony paying for his education; he wasn’t his son and Peter would feel awful taking advantage of Mr. Stark’s financial gain like that. “I-I could never, it would be wrong to use someone else’s money for my personal benefit.”

You smirked and opened back up your laptop. “See, that’s why I’m also trying to get offers. I don’t want to be someone else’s financial responsibility and I want to earn the degree myself.” You looked down to stare at the screen, scrolling through programs and tuition plans. “My dad has worked extremely hard for me my entire life and I feel that if I do this on my own that I’m, in a way, repaying him. I just want to make him proud.”

You were unaware of how Peter gazed at you in admiration. He was thinking how crazy it was that someone in such a great socioeconomic position could think in such a humble way. He loved that and so many other qualities about you, which is why he was thankful he was your best friend.

Deep inside of him, he knew that he felt a little more for you than being friends. However, he would never admit it due to the possibility of losing you as a friend and the fact that you both lived in a world full of soulmates.

Neither of you had seen the other’s soulmate tattoos nor asked about them because it secretly hurt you both to think that you could possibly lead separate lives someday. However, you both subconsciously decided to enjoy the time you had with each other, after all, you had the rest of your lives to be with your soulmate. There was only so much time available to pursue your friendship.

“Speaking of which, we need to go to fill out that paperwork,” Peter mentioned, beginning to toy with one of the potential models for more advanced web shooters on your desk.

“You mean the one for skipping some of our GE’s? We can’t fill that out until the week before classes begin.” You responded, taking the last bite of your crepes. Peter let out an “oh, right” before footsteps could be heard echoing in the corridor right outside the lab.

Tony walked in and pointed at Peter, motioning for him to leave the room with him. “Before you do whatever teens do on their birthdays, we need to finalize your suit adjustment.”

Peter jumped up at the word “suit”, still not being able to believe that Tony designed his armor, and followed him out of the room. “I’ll be right back!” Peter called out, leaving you in the lab.

—————

Peter stood on a metal platform, his arms raised in the air as he was being scanned for the body of the suit.

“I was thinking that you, y/n, and I should go get lunch in a couple of hours,” Tony mentioned, fiddling with a design on his tech surface. “Also, shirt off, Underoos. The scanner isn’t working. But yeah, doesn’t she like Thai food?”

Peter pulled off his shirt and allowed the robot to scan his figure for the suit’s size. “Yeah, she loves Thai food. How about Thai Pepper on 56th?”

“Yep, that’ll do,” Tony answered back, reviewing the data that was transmitted onto the computer. Peter began talking about y/n’s favorite dessert place that they should go to following lunch while Tony analyzed the image. However, Tony stopped paying attention to Peter when something small and unusual on Peter’s back caught his eye.

Being curious (and somewhat nosey), Tony zoomed in on Peter’s back and squinted at his shoulder blade. “What the…” Tony whispered.

He spotted a small, shaded sphere printed on Peter’s skin, which appeared to be very similar to one he had seen before.

Peter, still rambling about y/n’s favorite foods and unaware of Tony’s discovery, was surprised when Tony yanked his shoulders and turned him around. “Uh, Mr. Stark?”

The air trapped itself in Tony’s lungs, leaving him unable to form a sentence. He was astounded that he hadn’t noticed the marking earlier.

“Is something wrong?” Peter questioned.

Tony remained silent. He couldn’t believe that Peter had a detailed soulmate tattoo of a full moon. The exact same one that his daughter had been born with 17 years ago.

///////////////

Part Two: https://peteerrpaarkerr.tumblr.com/post/186089973589/day-and-night-peter-parker-soulmate-au-pt-2

#peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x soulmate #peter parker soulmate #peter parker fandom #peter parker fic #peter parker #spiderman fic #spiderman #marvel fic #marvel #tony stark #stark!reader #soulmate au #avengers #avengers fic #soulmate tattoo

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ainstgirl · 6 years ago

Text

WE ARE IN THE ENDGAME (2/2)

Summary: The Endgame movie told from the point of view of the reader SPOILERS OF ENDGAME (obviously) English is my third language so im sorry if there’s any misspellings.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: If you’ve seen Endgame, you know what awaits you.

Gifs aren’t mine

MASTERLIST

PART 1

Just when you thought everything was going to be okay Tony and Steve appear with empty hands. "what happend? You said you had them" You say getting out of the car with Scott. "hulk made me a tackle and Loki steal the tesseract... again" Tony says. "and what do we do now?" You say worried, this was your last chance. "I think I have an idea" he looks at Steve "I know where to find what we need" "Tony, I mean sr Stark, we only have particles for the return trip" Scott says and you nod. "If it goes well we will have what we need to return and for some more trips" Tony says. "If?" you ask, what if that didn't work? "you and Scott return to the present with the scepter, I'll go with Tony" Steve explains. "I'll go with you" you say. "No" "Steve what if.." you start to say but Steve interrupts you. "go back to the present, we'll see you in a second, please" he pleads with his eyes. "be careful" you say finally accepting that you weren't going to be able to go with them. "i'm always careful remember?" Steve says and his smile in the last thing you see before he disappears. A second later you appear back to the present, in the past, hours have passed, but in the present it has only been a few seconds. You feel relief when you see Tony and Steve by your side. "we did it" Steve says almost unable to believe it. But something wasn't right, Natasha wasn't here. "Clint... where is she? where's Nat?" you ask him without wanting to know the answer, because if she wasn't here ... "she's gone... she sacrificed himself to get the stone" Clint says with tears in his eyes. "no..." you say and Steve surrounds you with his arms. "her sacrifice won't be in vain" he says in a broken voice "Bruce, Tony get the glove for the stones, lets do this"

Bruce is the one who decides to wear the glove and activate the stones, he has the best chance of surviving, and he almost died but as soon as he activates them, Clint's wife calls him, letting you know that everyone was back, you did it, they are back. You didn't realize you were crying until you felt the tears fall on your face, but this time they were tears of happiness, but you should already know, happiness doesn't usually last long.

Everyone around you was happy, finally, this was over but then there is a big explosion that makes the ground give way, and then everything turns black. When you open your eyes, everything is blurred, there is a lot of smoke and dirt everywhere. There is something heavy on top of you that makes it difficult for you to breathe, a body. "Steve?" you say trying to move him "Steve" Is he alive? he had protected you with his body "please Steve you can't be dead" and then you notice how his body moves "Are you okay?" He asks, examining you with his eyes looking for serious injuries. "i'm okay" you say before kissing him. "lovebirds, what if we leave that for later? There's a purple alien up there" Tony says approaching you. Thor appears behind Tony ready for the battle. "we'll take care of Thanos, look for the stones, they have to be among the rubble and keep them away from the battle" Steve kisses you one last time before running off to battle.

You were looking for the glove with the stones when Clint appears "Clint, Are you okay? i was looking for that" Apparently Clint had found the stones. "yeahhh all yours" He throws at you the glove "now run" and then you see them, the tunnel you were in was filling up with aliens looking for the stones. You don't need Clint to repeat it to you, you start running with the glove. Clint starts throwing arrows creating explosions to gain time as he runs behind you. when finally you come to the surface you can see what little remains of your home, and the person responsible of that fighting with the love of your life. But he wasn't alone, all those who had disappeared were here fighting with Thanos and his army. You wanted to fight with them, but you had a mission, to prevent Thanos from taking the stones and your only option was to send them to the past. "Scott" you yell, getting his attention "your van with the portal, where is it?" He looks at the glove and then at you, he seems to understand what you need it for "put it in motion and give me a signal when it's ready" and he nods before running to his van. You were distracted waiting for the signal when an alien is thrown against you but before you have time to react the alien was dead in the ground. Then you see it, you see him. He was the same as five years ago in Wakanda "I always have to be watching your back" Bucky says excited to see you "and you still owe me a cake" he smiles. "Try not to disappear this time and I will make you one" you wink at him but then you hear Scott's signal, making you come back to reality "duty calls me" and you start to run to Scott. Some aliens try to attack you but you get rid of them, it seems that you were about to get to Scott when you feel an impact on your back that throws you to the ground. You see blood on the ground, your blood, When you look up you find Thanos smiling at you. "I will enjoy completely eliminating your little planet" Thanos says raising his double-edged sword , that's how you were going to die, at least you've been able to see your friends one last time, but then Mjolnir strikes him away from you. You expect to see Thor wielding it but it is not him, if not Steve who wields it and a wave of pride runs through your body. Steve is fighting with him to keep him away from you, this is your chance, but there are more and more aliens between you and the portal in Scott's car. "i can't do this alone" you say thinking aloud. "you're not alone" Carol had returned at the best time and behind her were more women ready to fight.

"Let's teach them how girls fight" you say rising from the ground and cleaning the blood from your head. You all fight as a team, alien that gets in your way, alien that is destroyed, you are so close to the portal, a couple of meters left... and the car burst into flames in front of you, Thanos had destroyed it. It seems that time stoped, you're hit again, getting away from the glove. Carol fights against Thanos but he finally gets the glove, he was about to snap his fingers when Tony throws himself at him. Your heart stops when Thanos throws him into the air. You run to Tony but instead of pain, you see him smile with the stones in his power, he had stolen them. Tony introduces them in his suit and you know what he is prepared to do, but the most important thing is that you know what it will cost him to do it. "I'm Iron Man" Tony says and suddenly comes into your head the interview where he said the same phrase discovering his identity,and then he snaps his fingers making Thanos and his entire army disappear. You can't help but smile when you see him disappear but that smile disappears when you see Tony fall to the ground lifeless. Tony had given his life to save everyone.

The funeral was beautiful, you were all broken, especially Steve. "hey babe" You sit by his side, Sam had let you stay at his house since your home, the headquarters, was nothing but rubble "are you okay?" "he's gone" he says almost in a whisper "I told him years ago that he wasn't a hero, that he would never sacrifice himself, but he did..." tears fall down his face. "hey...He knows how important he was to you" you say taking away his tears. "how are you feeling? your ribs still hurt?" he says looking at the bruise on your cheek. "i'm fine... but i need to talk to you" "what's wrong?" "Tony... he told me where you went to get the stones...New Jersey 1970" You have been avoiding this conversation with him, but you needed to know the truth "was she there?" you don't need to say the name, he knows who you're talking about. "yes" he simply says. "There is still a bottle of particles, you could go back to the past and finally have your dance with her, have the life you had always wanted to have" You say taking it out of your pocket "I've always known that she was your first love" you put the jar with the particles in his hand. "What are you doing?" he asks confused. "give you the opportunity to have what you always wanted" You say trying to hold back the tears. "what i always wanted? i told you that i wanted a life with you" Steve says without being able to believe what you were offering him. "That was before you could have the life you lost with her, Steve" "you're right, a part of me has always wanted to be able to go back and be with her" those words hurt you more than the blows of the battle "Do you want to know what I felt when I saw her? happiness" he says without looking away "She was the director of Shield, she's going to have a family, I was happy for her, but never, not even one's, it has crossed my mind to be with her, I just want to be with you, you say that now I have the opportunity to return, but I don't want to, I just want the life that I promised you, a house far from the city, maybe close to Tony and Pepper's, to have a family with you, that's the only thing I want" He says caressing your face "I'm sorry if I made you feel that you weren't everything to me, but believe me you are" he kisses you with passion, letting you know how much he loves you. You have always felt Peggy's shadow in your relationship with Steve and now that he had the opportunity to choose, he chose you, eliminating all the doubts and insecurities that you had. "i love you" you say looking him in the eyes. "i love you 3000" he says to you, making you smile.

----------Five years later---------------

You were cooking when Steve hugs you from behind and gives you a kiss on the neck. "are they here?" You say turning around to see Steve. "They just arrived, Nat is already playing with Morgan in the barn" he explains. "Have you left them alone?" you say with reproach. "Happy is with them don't worry, Pepper couldn't stay, she had an important meeting, but she'll come to dinner" Steve informs you. "perfect, I'm going to finish preparing the food, you should go and see what these little ones are doing with Happy, last time they locked him in the attic" you say trying to hide your smile, you found him five hours later. "yeah your right, If I don't come back in an hour, come and get me okay?" he jokes giving you a kiss on the forehead. "sure... love you" you say smiling. "love you 3000" he always says that and you love it. This was the life you had always dreamed of and you couldn't be happier.

*five minutes later* "babe? i can't find Happy" says Steve entering the house. "NATASHA ROGERS Y/L/N AND MORGAN STARK POTTS" you yell "WHAT DID YOU DO WHITH HAPPY???!!" but you only hear the laughter of two girls running around the house.

THE END.

MASTERLIST

I hope you liked it <3

#avengers 4 #avengers fanfiction #Avengers #avengers endgame #endgame #endgame fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #captain america fanfic #captain america #captain america x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #MARVEL FANDOM #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #fanficiton

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i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now · 5 years ago

Text

A better life (Chapter 6, Avengers x reader)

ay, so here’s chapter 6, enjoy, and please comment/like/reblog if you enjoy this, reblogs really help to like, make things reach new people, and comments can really help me to become better as a writer, so go ahead and give me contstructive criticism is you want

i’ve no idea what i’m doing, so like, yeah, also the previous chapters are on my blog, and this one’s a bit longer. i currently have chapter 9 all done, and will start chapter 10 when i have energy, and i’ll be figuring out a new posting schedule because i’m going back to school in like a week and a half Edit: chapter 7 is out

tw: panic attack, mention of nightmares, lowkey social anxiety because i’m very social anxiety

When you walked in, it wasn’t too loud in the main room. A red haired woman, Black Widow or Natasha Romanoff, was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, in black pants and a white shirt. Clint was sitting on a kitchen counter, one leg under himself. Steve was standing up, leaning on a wall, and the man everyone called Bucky was standing in front of him. They were talking and laughing. A white man with short brown hair was standing next to Clint, leaning on the kitchen counter, talking to Clint about something. A black man entered the room and waved at Tony, who nodded back at him. Bruce Banner was standing beside the window, looking outside quietly. Thor was literally there, just sitting on a couch, throwing Mjolnir up and catching it. A woman with orange hair, wearing mostly red clothes was sitting on the floor, next to Natasha, and she was looking intently at a little cubic object in front of her. The cube began to fly as something red escaped from the woman’s hands. It didn’t surprise you that much, but it was kind of mesmerizing.

“Hey”, Tony gently said to you to bring you back to what was happening. “Would you be okay with me introducing you to everyone at once? Or would you like to go around and just meet everyone one by one?”

“I’m, uh, I’m not sure. Could you..?” You looked at him, a bit afraid: you really weren’t the best at social interaction. He understood what you meant and you both walked closer to the other people. Natasha was already staring at you, as well as Thor, and you were beginning to feel as if you were suffocating. You were used to people staring at you for all the bad reasons: your mother taught you that you were weird and did weird things, and that if you just stopped fidgeting all the time people wouldn’t stare. You suddenly noticed that you that you were fidgeting with your hands and decided to cross your arms to stop them from moving.

“Hey, everyone. So I told you that there’s been someone Peter’s been hanging out with lately, right? Here’s the person. They’re great at archery, by the way. Ask Clint”, Tony said, while signing, as everyone quieted down and looked at you. Natasha stood up and walked up to the two of you. She exchanged bright smiles with Tony and extended her hand to you for a handshake, which was firm.

“Natasha Romanoff. Black Widow. Clint was going to ask me to train you in self defense, right? So, what are you doing here so late?”

“Hi. Yeah, he was. I’m Y/N. I’m, I’m actually staying here, for the night.”

“Cool. I’ll train you. Any specific reasons for that?”

You shrugged and she let the subject go. You felt pretty comfortable around her already, she seemed like the kind of person who wouldn’t ask many questions, and she did drop the topic when you didn’t want to answer.

The orange haired woman was still concentrating on the cube in front of her. “Who’s that?”, you asked Natasha.

“That’s Wanda Maximoff. She’s the result of an experiment, she has telekinesis. It’s pretty cool.”

A few seconds later, Thor came up to you and offered a handshake as well. His hand was bigger than Natasha’s, but he didn’t squeeze your hand too much. He was strong, you knew that, but the handshake you got didn’t really show that. He was smiling softly the entire time.

“Hi, I heard your name’s Y/N, right?” When you didn’t disagree, he continued. “That’s a quite nice name.”

You shyly smiled. “Thanks..”

After that, Tony led you to Steve and Bucky. You and Bucky were quickly acquainted, and you told him you liked his metal arm. He chuckled, thanked you, and pointed out that there were some magnets on his arm. He said that Peter placed them there to make him like his arm more. It was a silly thing to do, but it seemed that Bucky appreciated it. He also showed you that Peter stuck a small post it note attached to the arm by a magnet. There was a list of foods on the post it note. A shopping list, you realized. *That’s lowkey adorable.*

In a while, you met everyone who was currently there. The man with short brown hair that you hadn’t met before turned out to be Ant-Man, Scott Lang being his name. The black man who waved at Tony was Falcon, or Sam Wilson. You also spoke to Wanda for a few minutes, and you told her that it was pretty fascinating, what she could do. She looked happy about it. It also turned out she could read thoughts. You felt some anxiety rising up in your chest, but Tony then asked her specifically not to read yours. She respected that, and you later thanked him for doing that. You signed a greeting to Clint and he greeted you back.

You awkwardly made your way to the kettle, which you had noticed upon entering the room. You filled it up with water and put it on to boil. Tony showed you where all the tea was and you thanked him. When the water boiled, you carefully took one of the plain white mugs, not wanting to accidentally take someone else’s, and poured the hot water into it. You then quickly opened the paper containing the tea bag, took out the sachet, and lowered it into the water. You had picked jasmine tea, hoping that it would help you with sleeping. It probably wouldn’t work for the “staying asleep” part of it, but one could hope, right?

Natasha came up beside you as you were about to take your mug and go sit down somewhere, maybe on the floor, maybe in front of Thor.

“Trouble sleeping?” She gestured at the mug.

“Maybe”, you replied. You really hoped she wouldn’t say that you’re too young to have sleeping problems, because people seemed to like doing that.

“I get it, it sucks. Sometimes I wake up after a particularly bad nightmare and it takes me hours to calm down. I wouldn’t know how to help with sleeping, I don’t know how to deal with it either. You aren’t alone though. Most of us here can’t sleep properly.” She smiled.

You nodded.

Suddenly, Tony asked: “Anyone want to play chess with me? Anyone? No? Nobody? Alright.”

You raised your hand hesitantly, and when he saw you, you said: “Oh, uh, I actually really like playing chess. It’s fun. Can I play?”

His eyebrows went up ever so slightly, but you caught the movement. He invited you to the table, and you brought your mug over and set it down beside the chess board.

You chose to play with the black pieces, so Tony was the one making the first move. You then immediately made your move. You were playing for a bit less than ten minutes by now, you were calculating each and every move you made, looking at what Tony could possibly do, how it could disadvantage or advantage him, thinking of which move would be best for you in which situation. It was starting to get interesting. He kept trying to move and kill your more powerful and important pieces, but you kept stopping him with a move from a pawn or a knight. People who thought pawns aren’t important in a game of chess baffled you: these pieces could be turned into something else if they reached the other end of the board. Not to mention, their moves were so simple and they were so small that people sometimes forgot their importance, their existence even.

A few of the other Avengers were sitting on the couches, around you or Tony, closely surveying the board. You took your time choosing your moves, sometimes taking long minutes to figure out what was best. Tony seemed to make some decisions more impulsively. That was where he made mistakes. Chess was a game you really loved though, and you were not about to go easy on him.

You already had eight of his pieces on your side, since you killed them. He only had three of yours: a rook, a pawn, and a bishop. Every time you killed another one of his pieces, someone went “ooh” or “damn”. They were probably used to Tony winning all the games. *Not today*, you thought. Tony swore quietly every time one of his pieces was killed.

Your goal was to eliminate anything that could help his king escape. You had five of his pawns, one of his knights, and both of his bishops. You put a sort of protective box over your king, and your queen had an open exit on the side.

More time passed by, it was getting closer to 9pm. You killed his second knight, one of his rooks, and another one of his pawns. He was getting nervous. All he had left was a queen, a king, two pawns, and a rook. However, in that time, he had also managed to take one of your knights, your second rook, and two of your pawns. You still had more pieces than him.

The tension grew as you took away his two remaining pawns. The most powerful piece in his possession was his queen, but luckily, you still had yours. You slowly advanced to his side of the board, trying to create a trap for his queen. Finally, you succeeded. Your queen was positioned in front of his, several squares away. Your pawn stood one diagonal before his queen, and your remaining bishop was standing in diagonal from his queen. Behind every piece, you had a pawn in diagonal: if he decided to kill one of your pieces with his queen, his queen would, inevitably, die from a pawn. If he didn’t move her, she would also inevitably die.

You ended up getting his queen. All that was left to him now was his king and a rook. You easily took out his rook and then placed several pieces in different places so he wouldn’t be able to escape with his king indefinitely.

“Checkmate”, you said triumphantly.

You both stood up, smiling, and shook hands. “Good game”, he said. “You’re really good at this. Maybe even better than me. We’ll have to play again sometime.” You agreed with his last sentence happily and thanked him.

You had finished your tea and were getting really sleepy, so after everyone congratulated you for winning against Tony Stark, an actual genius, you told everyone good night and asked Tony if it would be alright for him to show you where you’ll be sleeping. He led you into a nice room with a really comfortable looking bed, a television, a lamp, and probably more things you didn’t notice because you were tired. He showed you that there was something you could change into for the night, if you wanted to. A pair of black pants was on the bed, as well as a long sleeved shirt. He must’ve noticed that you usually don’t take off your sweaters.

“Thank you, mister Stark.. I’m, I’m gonna try and sleep now.”

“Alright. Good night, kiddo. If anything, I’m in the room in front of this one, and Natasha’s right over on your right when you come out of the door. Clint is beside Natasha.”

“Thank you. Good night, mister Stark.” He left and you closed the door after him. You immediately locked it from the inside, force of habit, and changed into the clothes on the bed, carefully folding yours and putting them onto a table.

You crawled into the bed, covering yourself with the blankets: sleeping in a cold room, covered in blankets was the best.

After having jasmine tea, your eyes were pretty much closing by themselves, and you ended up falling asleep in less than an hour. Usually, it took you several hours, often at least three, to fall asleep.

For the next four hours, you kept waking up and going back to sleep. Then, you didn’t wake up for an hour.

But when you did wake up, it was from a nightmare. You were curled up in a ball, you felt tears on your face, and you couldn’t breathe. You instinctively sat up with your back against that wall to feel less vulnerable. You clawed at your neck, trying to get air, but there was none. You were starting to get dizzy. You heard a light knock on your door and panicked.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me, Natasha. I was still awake, I heard you crying. I’m gonna pick the lock and come in in ten seconds, okay?” Her voice was soft.

She came in, closed the door behind her, and quietly walked up to your bed. She sat down in front of you on the bed. “Is touch okay right now for you?” You shook your head, unable to speak because you couldn’t breathe. “Alright. Breathe with me, okay? Take your time. It’s okay, no one will hurt you. I’m here, I’ve got you. It’s going to be alright, I promise.”

You focused on her voice and listened to her breathing as she took deep breaths, and after a while, you could feel your breathing beginning to become more normal, though still shaky. You were shaking, slightly rocking back and forth, and fidgeting a lot, but everything was starting to become okay again.

Natasha started softly singing something, and hearing her voice relaxed you greatly. You were still fidgeting, but you were now breathing properly. Every once in a while, she said that everything will be okay. You wanted so badly to believe her.

You both sat in silence for maybe twenty minutes, giving you time to begin feeling safe again, and then she spoke.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head instead of responding with actual words. Speaking seemed like too much for you right now.

“Do you want to talk about it later? I know sign language, so you can sign if you want to say something but can’t.”

“Maybe later. Thank you”, you signed. “For helping me.” Lately, signing was easier than speaking for you. And that was okay with you.

She signed back: “You’re very welcome. I’m here for you. Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes, if that’s okay”, you signed to her. She dragged other blankets over from the couch in the room and lay down after you pulled your blankets closer to yourself. You laid down and moved closer to the wall, hoping you weren’t taking up too much space.

She then started humming quietly as you drifted to sleep, exhausted.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers x reader fanfiction #avengers #x reader fanfic #x reader fanfiction

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thesaltofcarthage · 6 years ago

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Avengers: Endgame: Did Marvel Pull It Off?

This is a followup to my (surprisingly popular!) post “The Stakes Are Too High.” (at least, it surprised the hell out of me that it got so popular; I wasn’t expecting it to resonate as widely as it did.)

FULL ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I’m putting it under a cut just in case.

Also, above the cut in case you’re still dodging spoilers, tagging @kryptaria @iamanartichoke @taurileonis @hjbender @chey-tips22 @wu-the-stoic @englishontheinside @rennemichaels @alwida10 @ladylowkeyed @saltoftheearths @mizkit @thelightofthingshopedfor @essesnceofhappiness @theravenofwynter @pinetreeparadoxx @ironhammermagicshieldedgreenbow @philosopherking1887 @waywardkansasflower @lokeanrampant @maneth985 @ilovethemallsoimconfused @bengalaas @icyxmischief @yuuki-fandoms @snailchick @fictions-stranger @adhdasianaroace @artherra @missmaladicta @queerfictionwriter because you specifically commented/reblogged.

So having seen Endgame, the question becomes: Did Marvel pull it off?

My answer is: yes and no.

Did we get an emotionally satisfying ending? Did Marvel understand that closure doesn’t have to come with corpses?

There were a lot of things I loved about Endgame. There were many, many of the “small character moments” we were begging for. Marvel didn’t forget that we fell in love with people and we need to see people and their choices and how they live with the consequences of those choices... mostly.

I loved how Marvel rewarded the audience for watching 11 years of movies. It was practically wall-to-wall Easter eggs and callbacks. I loved how the time travel allowed us to loop back through some of our favorite scenes and see them from other points of view, and the additional information. (Sitwell and Brumlow taking the scepter immediately after Loki’s capture: oh, so that’s how HYDRA got the Mind Stone!) I loved the cameos upon cameos (despite how silly it is for someone like Natalie Portman to show up for literally 15 seconds and not get any lines). I appreciated that Captain Marvel was used exactly the right amount: she saved Tony and Nebula, she was established as part of the post-Snap team, she came in at the end to lend some firepower, but she did not have any part in solving the problem nor was she the person who ultimately handed Thanos his raisin ass. I LOVED THE FINAL BATTLE, HOLY FUCK. (With the exception of Loki not being present, but I’ll get to that.) There were real laughs, and real tears. I cheered when Steve summoned Mjolnir (and laughed my head off at the Cap-on-Cap fight). I loved Morgan and Cassie, and the echoes of fathers and daughters throughout.

There were things I did not love, even before we got to the final or semi-final fates of some characters. I was genuinely offended with Thor’s treatment. I was not happy with Loki. I was confused about Vision, Gamora, and Black Widow, because they are due to return for future TV shows and movies, so leaving their statuses open or cloudy (or “dead,” which I put in quotes for a reason) was just disconcerting. The time travel opened up a lot of problems.

My original post was about endings, so let’s talk about those. In approximately descending order of Satisfying to WTF:

Stan Lee: Got his last cameo in the end of the arc so he didn’t miss any, driving along, clearly having the time of his life. Excelsior, Stan, and thank you for everything.

Clint: Got his happy ending. He was deeply bitter about losing his family, but got them restored to him. He did lose Nat, but I’ll cover her in her own section.

Steve: He did get his soft epilogue, albeit with Peggy Carter, and I can’t fault that. Marvel was never going to give us the Steve/Bucky romance no matter how obvious it was, and Steve/Peggy also works. (And really, I love Peggy, so for her to get a happy ending too is a bonus.) Steve gave so much of himself over the years. I can’t object to allowing him to be selfish and re-live his life quietly, to finally put down his shield and go home from the war. He got his reward.

It basically works with the existing timeline if you squint and assume that Peggy’s Alzheimer’s was messing with her at the beginning of Civil War, or if there’s another timeline altogether. I’m slightly annoyed that whatever he got to have with Bucky all happened offscreen between the stinger of Black Panther and the beginning of Infinity War, but apparently they did spend time together. And Steve clearly told Bucky was he was planning; that’s what “I’m gonna miss you” was foreshadowing.

STEVE IS WORTHY OF MJOLNIR. YESSSSSS!

Bruce: I was okay with the “Professor Hulk” storyline (which I was told by a sharp-eyed nephew is from the comics), although I wouldn’t have minded seeing that internal struggle onscreen, but I understand it’s an IP rights issue and there isn’t going to be another Marvel standalone Hulk film.

Tony: Augh. AUGH! I get it. I know why he died, on a meta level. But still.

This, at least, we can say is mostly “heartbreaking” and not “burn.” Tony got the five-year interval to make some kind of peace with his losses. He and Pepper got married and had Morgan. He got some kind of Happy For Now. He got some kind of reward, which RDJ brilliantly conveyed even in the few minutes we saw.

@hjbender linked @starkysnarks’s excellent post about Tony’s arc. One important part:

That’s why I think that giving a better, more positive message is so important. While other characters have flaws, it’s only Tony who has this consistent, this carefully streamlined storyline of improvement, of redemption, of self-realization and self-betterment. It’s Tony who is most often referred to (by the aforementioned mainstream outlets AND within the fandom) as the most human of the characters, and his story – as the most humane. His happy ending with a new house and young family will not feel like an opt-out, it will not feel complacent, at least not to me. It will feel like hope. It will feel like achieving, at least partially, the goal of that endless internal struggle that we all go through daily. It will feel like it’s possible to be good and be happy and be content, to know that you have done you best and your best is good enough for you to live, and go forward, and be.

He ultimately got some of this, for a while. Tony’s fatal flaw is his fear about Thanos, or the threat that Thanos represents. Prior to Avengers, Tony was happy-go-lucky because he could, eventually, beat whatever the world threw at him. But Thanos was not of this world, and would have wiped everyone out if Tony hadn’t managed to get that nuke through the portal. That trauma, that guilt, that fear, is what drives him for the rest of the Infinity Stones storyline. He is desperate to protect everyone. It’s what makes him want to put “a suit of armor around the world” in Age of Ultron, and of course the way Ultron backfires compounds Tony’s PTSD and guilt, which is what leads to his position in Civil War and the fight he picks with Steve at the beginning of Endgame.

And the worst happens in Infinity War, and the Avengers lose. Everything Tony feared ultimately happened.

Five years later, he’s managed to move forward. He has his happy ending — as happy as he can be, given their losses. He’s accepted his failure, more or less. He wants to rest, which is why he rejects Steve and the others at first.

But his tinkerer’s brain won’t let him put their proposal aside. He needs to know intellectually that there’s no chance, that he can’t fix what he screwed up. Because that’s the other part of what drives him: they lost. He lost. “I lost the kid,” he tells Steve (meaning Peter). That fear of loss, of losing people, of failing people, of disappointing people, is what keeps pushing him. If he knows that there’s no possible way he can undo his mistake, he’ll figure out a way to cope, especially since he still has Pepper and then his daughter. But now there is a way, or there might be, and he can’t let that lie, he can’t rest, until he knows one way or the other. And when the way to fix things becomes possible, there is no other outcome for Tony to choose. He wouldn’t be a hero otherwise.

It is a terrible loss, but in the end I could accept it. Tony got a Happy For Now. He was able to enjoy his life for a little while. He got the genuine closure with his father which he couldn’t in the BARF hologram at the beginning of Civil War thanks to the time travel, and he got to see Peter restored and give him the hug which they weren’t at yet in Homecoming. Tony was triumphant. He defeated his greatest, most terrible adversary. He defeated his fear. Thanos is gone, and his minions with him. The echo of “I. Am. Iron Man.” was exquisite. (even more so knowing that line in the first movie was ad-libbed! it wasn’t in the script! It was RDJ’s idea!) So his death is sad, but it’s earned.

Natasha: Meh. Just meh. The scene where she and Clint fight over who is going to die was blackly hilarious. It made narrative sense for Nat to be the one who died — she has found family, but not children; she spent the interval trying to run the Avengers and SHIELD and trying to fix things, and this allowed her to contribute in a material way; she still has a lot of red in her moral ledger — but on a meta level, we know there’s a Black Widow movie in the works. It doesn’t make sense to have a spinoff series set before Endgame when you know how the character dies. It’s not a bad ending, all things considered, but the actress herself can’t get younger. Is it supposed to be her origin/backstory movie after the character has died? Is it Multiverse Branching Timelines? Was she restored when Steve returned all the Stones to their place in the timeline? Was she restored with Tony’s Snap, or Bruce’s? Not knowing how that’s going to work with the rest of the MCU timeline blunted the emotional effect of her death for me.

Although he’s not an original Avenger, I had similar issues with Vision. There will be a Scarlet Witch and Vision TV series. Vision is still dead, according to Wanda at Tony’s funeral. So was he restored with either Bruce’s Snap or Tony’s? Was 2018 Gamora?

And the two which completely did not work for me, the ones where I think Marvel really missed:

Thor: Of the original Avengers, he was the one I was most upset about.

I really, really did not like how Thor’s very legitimate grief, depression, PTSD, and alcoholism were played for laughs. Thor is down to a “kingdom” of a few hundred people at best (we don’t know what Asgard’s population was to start with, but Hela killed quite a few, and then Thanos killed half of them on the Statesman, and it’s entirely possible that the Snappening dusted half of whomever remained). He’s living with the murders of Loki, Heimdall, and the Warriors Three (I can’t remember if Sif was supposed to have survived the Snappening, but she doesn’t appear in Endgame). He didn’t “go for the head” in Infinity War, which clearly haunts him despite the fact that Peter Quill is just as much to blame for interrupting Strange, Tony, Peter, and Mantis, or Wanda is just as much to blame for not getting the Stone out of Vision’s head faster, etc. etc. He cut off Thanos’s head after the fact and is clinging to that — “Who else here killed Thanos?” — as some kind of cold comfort. “Look, at least I did that in the end. At least I got revenge.”

Thor is a mess. His family is dead. His dearest friends are dead. He’s in a depressive spiral, self-medicating with food and alcohol, lost in video games because they are a consequence-free way to “win.” He’s holed up with Miek and Korg because they didn’t know him before Ragnarok and they have no real expectations of King Thor, God of Thunder, Avenger, Hero. He feels he has failed at everything which has ever been expected of him.

And the script... plays this... for laughs.

We are meant to laugh at his pot belly and flabby physique. We are meant to laugh at his unkempt matted hair and wild unbraided beard. We are meant to laugh at his drunkenness, at how he passes out, at how he blearily begs and whimpers to be the one to unSnap everyone ( “Please let me do something good, something right,” he pleads), at how he returns to Asgard on the day of Frigga’s murder and tries to frat-boy off to the cellars for some of Odin’s best ale because he cannot face his failure on this day too.

None of this is funny. It’s not funny at. all. It’s horrifying.

I do understand that this is likely more Hemsworth than Marvel. The actor vocally complained that he was bored with formal, upright Thor and would have been done with the character without Taika Waititi’s more comedic take in Ragnarok. He has said in interviews that Thor in Endgame is the closest to Hemsworth himself that the character has ever been, and clearly the actor loves doing comedy. He’s good at it — I enjoyed Kevin in Ghostbusters 2016.

I don’t object to loosening up Thor. I don’t object to showing Thor spiraling into alcoholism and depression and hiding from the world in food and games. I object to using depression and alcoholism for comedy.

Thor faces Frigga, reluctantly, and she counsels her son whom she loves, telling him not to worry about living up to expectations but to be his best true self. This is consistent with both characters; Thor has accepted how hard it is to be king. Then as Thor is quantumming out she adds “And eat a salad.” Really? You had to throw that in there? She sees the wreck her son has become and she nags? She gives him some kind and loving advice, she knows there’s some weirdness going on, but she has to cap it with fat-shaming?

We are meant to mock formerly ripped Thor for being “fat and ugly,” but let’s be clear: Thor’s appearance is an outward manifestation of deep emotional issues. Thor has not been able to cope with his failure. He and Tony faced similar terrible losses. Both characters originally had sunny dispositions. Tony, who still had Pepper at least, has managed to crawl out of his hole and build something with his wife and daughter. Thor lost his brother, his other half, and has mentally, emotionally, and physically collapsed. There really is no Thor without Loki.

And speaking of, I’m going to scream for a moment:

SERIOUSLY, MARVEL, WHAT EVEN THE FLAMING FUCK WAS THAT? YOU TEE UP A GODDAMN LINE LIKE “I ASSURE YOU, BROTHER, THE SUN WILL SHINE ON US AGAIN” AND THEN IT DOESN’T PAY OFF? I FUCKING WAVED THAT FLAG FOR A SOLID YEAR BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THAT AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME?

Loki: I am well aware that Loki started as an antagonist, and that my perspective is skewed from the fandoms I choose to participate in. I know that he’s not an Avenger.

But purely from a narrative point of view, Marvel, ya done fucked up. You dropped the ball.

From my previous post:

Loki’s death in Infinity War was so stupid and narratively pointless that a lot of fans, myself included, believe that there’s a plan behind the scenes (since we know Endgame involves time travel) which somehow explains it and gives it meaning. Because if not, then one of the most popular MCU characters — the only antagonist to keep returning, film after film, and primarily because audiences love him — died for nothing.

And there you have it. Explaining it after the fact in Loki’s TV show doesn’t count (and we don’t know that they will). Yes, Loki grabs the Tesseract in 2012 and disappears, so you can argue that “he doesn’t die,” but all that really does is screw up the timeline. It creates another timeline branch which isn’t resolved.

Is everything now a branched universe? If Loki took off with the Tesseract, does that mean The Dark World and Ragnarok never happened? If Loki didn’t go back to Asgard in chains at the end of Avengers, that means TDW couldn’t have happened the way it did. It means that Loki didn’t sacrifice himself, but does that also mean that Malekith would have gotten the Aether/Reality Stone from Jane and killed her? (It was Loki’s plan which saved Jane, let’s recall. And killed Kurse.) Does that mean Odin is still alive and on Asgard? And Hela was never unleashed? And therefore Loki and Thor never ended up on Sakaar and Hulk and Valkyrie Brunnhilde are still there? Or worse, that Odin died and Hela was unleashed but Thor wasn’t able to stop her because he didn’t have Hulk, Valkyrie, and Loki to help him? So she’s now loose and rampaging across the realms murdering at will?

It was appropriate for the larger arc for Carol to be part of the cavalry swooping in during the final battle to pummel Thanos for a while, but I kept waiting for Loki to show up. Loki was tortured by Thanos and Ebony Maw, which is what kicked off the plot of Avengers. If 2014 Thor was willing to break Loki out of prison to get revenge for Frigga’s death, why wouldn’t either 2014 Thor or 2023 Thor be willing to tell 2012 Loki “We have an opportunity for you to get back at Thanos. Wanna help?” Because as strung out and as still cocky as he was, jauntily waving in the elevator at the beast who just beat the shit out of him, I bet Loki would have been delighted to take a few swings at Giant Purple Nutsack Face. Yes, he probably would have escaped at some point during the final battle, because that’s who he was at the time, and still is — he’s “very comfortable with chaos,” as Hiddleston notes. And that would have been consistent. Help others if it also helps him, he’s not really a hero at that point in his arc, check out after Thanos is dead because he doesn’t want to go back to prison. That all would have worked. Even if he had no more to do than Shuri or Okoye, just to show him shooting a few blasts of seidr and showing that he is in fact just as powerful a sorcerer as Doctor “I’ve only been doing this for a year” Strange.

But Loki’s death in Infinity War is for nothing. Even if I wasn’t as invested in the character as I am, from a storytelling standpoint, it was pointless. The entire heavy foreshadowing of that line was utterly whiffed. You can’t even argue that “Loki sacrificed himself for Thor” because Thanos disappeared with the Space Stone, leaving Thor behind, and Thor crawled over to his brother’s dead, broken body and crumpled there to die. Thor gave up and never recovered. The last word he expected he would ever say was “Loki....”

Thor didn’t choose in that moment to use Loki’s sacrifice to stand up and claim revenge. Even Clint did more than that after Natasha’s death. Thor only continued on to forge Stormbreaker because the Guardians happened to pick him up in the vacuum of space after the Statesman exploded. That wasn’t a choice by the character, which is what moves a character arc forward. It was happenstance. Thor’s heart was destroyed with Loki’s death. It’s a shell of a man who eventually beheads Thanos.

Loki got an “Avenge the Fallen” poster, but he wasn’t avenged. The 2012 version of him escaped and branched off a new timeline, according to the Ancient One’s explanation of how time travel works in the MCU.

We don’t know if either Tony’s or Bruce’s Snap restored 2018 Loki. Endgame is the end of this arc. Marvel can’t patch stuff up later and claim a do-over.

AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE MARVEL WE NEVER GOT THOR AND LOKI’S HUG.

So: did Marvel hurt us?

Not as badly as I feared. There was a ton of fanservice and moments which were so go-for-broke that I felt like we were watching wish-fulfillment fanfic. (So many jokes about Steve’s ass. Steve joking about Steve’s ass.) The script didn’t stop to explain who people were or give context; it assumed the audience knew everything and was keeping up. And that last battle, have mercy, Helm’s Deep and Pelennor Fields look like playground skirmishes in comparison.

BUT: The loose ends are deeply frustrating, and I think the Loki fandom is going to blow a collective gasket. Grotty Drunk Thor having constant My Dick Is Bigger fights with Peter Quill is not going to make me want to watch Guardians 3. (Although if Loki comes back and sneers at Quill, and Thor follows his brother off into the wild yonder with stars in his eyes, okay, call me.)

I will watch the Marvel TV shows because I’m a masochist, but I don’t know how much I’m going to allow myself to get emotionally involved. My expectations are far lower than before IW/EG. I don’t know how the shows and movies involving “dead” characters are going to explain things. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey handwaving is kind of a cheat, and it doesn’t excuse the shit storytelling which was allowed to happen in the first place.

Do I regret the journey? I don’t. It’s been a hell of a ride, and I’m so glad to have met these characters. I could wish for some things to be better, and hoo boy is there going to be a lot of corrective fanfic, but I’m not sorry I came along.

(and P.S.: Loki lives. :P)

#endgame spoilers #the stakes are too high #avengers: endgame #meta discussion #mcu #long post

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writing-prompts-for-friends · 5 years ago

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Notes on Robert McKee’s “Story” 17: Essential Qualities of a Protagonist (and Other Characters)

Today we cover McKee’s rundown of the essential qualities of the protagonist, a.k.a. The Main Character who does The Thing. That’s the dictionary definition; trust me I have a Bachelor’s in English. Because Thor is the best my favorite superhero, I’m going to see if he (in the Marvel Cinematic Universe) ticks all the boxes of McKee’s qualities of a protagonist. Warning: all the spoilers. Additional Warning: Long post.

The Protagonist

Usually, the protagonist is one person. However, sometimes stories are driven by a duo, such as THELMA AND LOUISE, or a trio or more. These are called Plural-Protagonists.

For two or more characters to form a Plural-Protagonist, two conditions must be met:

All individuals in the group share the same desire

In the struggle to achieve this desire, they mutually suffer and benefit.

So we can say that THE AVENGERS has the Plural-Protagonists of all the Avengers. They seek to defeat Loki, regain the Tesseract, and save the world from the Chitauri invasion.

A story can also be Mutliprotagonist. Here, characters pursue separate and individual desires, suffering and benefiting independently. We could use the unfortunate film Thor 2: The Dark World as an example. (Do you remember it lol?) Loki and Thor are forced to work together to defeat the Dark Elves, but each for very different desires and benefits.

Other examples of Multiprotagonist works would be PULP FICTION and THE BREAKFAST CLUB, just to name a couple more examples.

Multiprotagonist works often result in Multiplot stories. Rather than driving the telling through the focused desire of a protagonist, either single or plural, these works weave a number of smaller stories, each with its own protagonist, to create a dynamic portrait of a specific society. PULP FICTION certainly displays the Multiplot at work well.

Also, as I’m sure you’re aware, the protagonist doesn’t need to be human. Bugs Bunny is the protagonist in Looney Tunes. Hamtaro is the protagonist in Hamtaro. Thomas the Tank Engine is a sentient train.

“Anything that can be given a free will and the capacity to desire, take action, and suffer the consequences can be a protagonist. It’s even possible, in rare cases, to switch protagonists halfway through a story. PSYCHO does this, making the shower murder both an emotional and formal jolt.”

Now let’s dive into the hallmark qualities necessary of all protagonists.

1. A Protagonist Is a Willful Character

“Other characters may be dogged, even inflexible, but the protagonist in particular is a willful being. The exact quantity of this willpower, however, may not be measurable. Quality of willpower is as important as quantity.”

Thor is perhaps one of the most willful characters of the Avengers, second only to Captain America. His sense of justice and responsibility as protector of realms demands that he make bold decisions and act for the greater good. His desires are always clear because he is transparent, the polar opposite of his brother.

However, not all protagonists display their willpower. Take the character Groot, who may appear to be passive particularly in Endgame when he is going through his rebellious teen years. Yet when he offers a piece of himself to become the hilt of Thor’s new weapon Stormbreaker. It is clear that despite his outward apathy, he has not lost the desire to assist his friends and stop Thanos.

McKee cautions us that:

“The truly passive protagonist is a regrettably common mistake. A story cannot be told about a protagonist who doesn’t want anything, who cannot make decisions, whose actions effect no change at any level.”

2. A Protagonist Has a Conscious Desire

In each of the Marvel films, Thor’s outward desires have been somewhere along the lines of “Protecting the Nine Realms.” The protagonist’s will impels a known desire. The protagonist has a need or goal, an object of desire, and knows it. For many characters, a simple, clear, conscious desire is sufficient.

3. The Protagonist May Also Have a Self-Contradictory Unconscious Desire

Thor’s outward desires have always been the altruistic “Protecting the Nine Realms,” but in his deep character, from the very first Thor film to Endgame, Thor has struggled to find himself worthy in the eyes of his father, of his people, and, at his very core, in the eyes of himself. In contrast to his outward desires that are self-sacrificial, deep down he has always felt the uncontrollable wish to be deemed “worthy,” not only by Mjolnir, but by his father, Loki, Jane, the people of the Nine that he wishes to serve, and ultimately by himself. Having grown up as the first son of the Allfather, the throne is his by default and everything in life has been handed to him. Yet he has always sought to prove his worthiness is not from birthright.

McKee states:

“The most memorable, fascinating characters tend to have not only a conscious but an unconscious desire. Although these complex protagonists are unaware of their subconscious need, the audience senses it, perceiving in them an inner contradiction. The conscious and unconscious desires of a multidimensional protagonist contradict each other. What he believes he wants is the antithesis of what he actually but unwittingly wants. What would be the point of giving a character a subconscious desire if it happens to be the very thing he knowingly seeks?”

Excluding his battle with the frost giants in Jotunheim at the beginning of the first Thor film when he was brash and immature, Thor has never gone against an enemy in order to prove his worthiness. When he fails to stop Thanos, he comes to the conclusion that he is worthless, and it is only thanks to Frigga that he realizes that not only is he still worthy; he has always been worthy.

4. The Protagonist Has the Capabilities to Pursue the Object of Desire Convincingly

“The protagonist’s characterization must be appropriate. He needs a believable combination of qualities in the right balance to pursue his desires. This doesn’t mean that he’ll get what he wants. He may fail. But the character’s desires must be realistic enough in relationship to his will and capacities for the audience to believe that he could be doing what they see him doing and that he has a chance for fulfillment.”

In the first Thor movie, Odin exiles his son to Earth until he has proved himself worthy as his successor to the throne. Thor, as brash and confident as he was at the start of the movie, convinces Jane and the audience that he will be able to retrieve Mjolnir immediately. This is proven not only by his unshakable confidence, but also by the way he destroys any and all opponents who stand in his way. The audience feels the same confidence as Thor, that it is just a simple matter of walking in and taking back what is rightfully his.

Yet to our dismay we see that he is not yet worthy when he is unable to regain Mjolnir.

5. The Protagonist Must Have at Least a Chance to Attain His Desire

“An audience has no patience for a protagonist who lacks all possibility of realizing his desire. The reason is simple: No one believes this of his own life. No one believes he doesn’t have even the smallest chance of fulfilling his wishes. But if we were to pull the camera back on life, the grand overview might lead us to conclude that, in the words of Henry David Thoreau, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” that most people waste their precious time and die with the feeling they’ve fallen short of their dreams. As honest as this painful insight may be, we cannot allow ourselves to believe it. Instead, we carry hope to the end.

Hope, after all, is not unreasonable. It’s simply hypothetical. ... We all carry hope in our hearts, no matter the odds against us. A protagonist, therefore, who’s literally hopeless, who hasn’t even the minimal capacity to achieve his desire, cannot interest us.”

When Thor is unable to retrieve Mjolnir and Loki tells him that his return to Asgard has been forbidden, he truly hits rock bottom and becomes hopeless. Both he and the audience feel that there is no way to realize his desire of returning home and taking the throne.

But then minutes later, both Jane and Dr. Selvig show up to rescue him from detention, and from there hope is found in his newfound friends.

6. The Protagonist Has the Will and Capacity to Pursue the Object of his Conscious and/or Unconscious Desire to the End of the Line, to the Human Limit Established by Setting and Genre.

“The art of story is not about the middle ground, but about the pendulum of existence swinging to the limits, about life lived in its most intense states. We explore the middle ranges of experience, but only as a path to the end of the line. The audience senses that limit and wants it reached. For no matter how intimate or epic the setting, instinctively the audience draws a circle around the characters and their world, a circumference of experience that’s defined by the nature of the fictional reality. This line may reach inward to the soul, outward into the universe, or in both directions at once. The audience, therefore, expects the storyteller to be an artist of vision who can take his story to those distant depths and ranges.”

Just look at the character development we see in Thor from the first movie to Endgame. An immature, hot-headed, entitled boy has matured into a man willing to make any sacrifice, to expend every last drop of sweat, blood, and power not to prove his strength, not even to prove his worth, but to restore balance and justice to the world.

7. A Story Must Build to a Final Action Beyond Which the Audience Cannot Imagine Another

“In other words, a film cannot send its audience to the street rewriting it. If people exist imagining scenes they thought they should have seen before or after the ending we give them, they will be less than happy moviegoers. We’re supposed to be better writers than they. The audience wants to be taken to the limit, to where all questions are answered, all emotions satisfied--the end of the line.

The protagonist takes us to this limit. He must have it within himself to pursue his desire to the boundaries of human experience in depth, breadth, or both, to reach absolute and irreversible change. This, by the way, doesn’t mean that your film can’t have sequel; your protagonist may have more tales to tell. It means that each story must find closure for itself.”

It’s 2020 and fanfiction is now mainstream. But not all fanfics are born from dissatisfactory endings. Rather, many of them are born because we yearn to fill in all of the little in-between moments and what-ifs that arise unbidden in our minds because of our love of the work and its characters.

While I wonder how Thor will continue his life without Asgard, without his people, and most of all, without Loki, a sojourn seems like the best way for a man who has grown up within the confines of court decorum and lofty expectations to find out who he wants to be. And most importantly, Thor has come to terms with the fact that he is not meant to be a leader, and that he is worthy--not necessarily of the throne or of anyone else’s respect/love/loyalty--but that he is worthy of self-respect. To me, this is a satisfactory ending for his character in MCU.

8. The Protagonist Must Be Empathetic; He May or May Not Be Sympathetic

“Sympathetic means likable. Tom Hanks, for example, in his typical role: The moment he steps on screen, we like him. We’d want him as a friend, family member, or lover. He has an innate likability and evoke sympathy. Empathy, however, is a more profound response.

Empathetic means “like me.” Deep within the protagonist the audience recognizes a certain shared humanity. ... There’s something about the character that strikes a chord. In that moment of recognition, the audience suddenly and instinctively wants the protagonist to achieve whatever it is that he desires.”

To be honest, as a MASSIVE Thor fan, the first two movies stayed pretty true to the traditional comic Thor, who was serious, spoke in Ye Olde Englishe, and was such a lofty, justice-driven hero that he was hard to relate to. The Thor of the first two movies wasn’t exactly for everyone.

However, his complex relationship with Loki is what, in my opinion, managed to make him and Loki in particular empathetic to the audience. To love someone while knowing they are poison, to continue giving them chances when you know full well that it will likely end up harming you, and yet still refusing to give up hope on them, is a bitter battle that many of us face.

Ragnarok in particular is what cemented Thor’s empathy, but also his sympathy more than anything else. They dropped all of the old-timey speak, got downright silly, and let Hemsworth’s comedic talents shine through to brilliant effect.

Not only did Ragnarok make Thor one of the most beloved characters in MCU, it also shows Thor’s acceptance of Loki for the trickster that he is. He no longer desires to “fix” Loki, and Loki, who desires acceptance more than anything, finds a new respect for his brother. This makes Loki’s death all the more poignant later, when it seems that the two brothers have finally become able to coexist.

On Audience Bond

“The audience's emotional involvement is held by the glue of empathy. If the writer fails to fuse a bond between filmgoer and protagonist, we sit outside feeling nothing. Involvement has nothing to do with evoking altruism or compassion. We empathize for very personal, if not egocentric, reasons. When we identify with a protagonist and his desires in life, we are in fact rooting for our own desires in life. ... The gift of story is the opportunity to live lives beyond our own, to desire and struggle in a myriad of worlds and times, at all the various depths of our being.

...Empathy, therefore, is absolute, while sympathy is optional. ... Likability is no guarantee of audience involvement; it’s merely an aspect of characterization. The audience identifies with deep character, with innate qualities revealed through choice under pressure.”

Thor had a weak audience bond in the first two Thor films, but Ragnarok changed everything. While I’m sad that we veered away from Ye Olde Speche version of him because I have a thing for that, and i will never ever forgive them for cutting his hair because I also have a thing for that, Ragnarok is one of the best Marvel films yet in my opinion because of how much it managed to make Thor empathetic to the audience.

Anyways, thanks for letting me use this post as an excuse to rant about Thor haha. I hope that using an example like him make these points clearer.

Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print

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peripetual · 6 years ago

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I was angry with Steve’s ending at first. But the more I thought about, the more I was able to justify it until I’ve finally found some peace in it. First to clear the air: Bucky definitely knew what was going on. I still don’t fully understand all of the time travel logistics of this (if he created an alternate universe, why was he already on the bench instead of coming out of the portal? Does this mean he was Peggy’s husband the whole time? Is our main continuity actually the alternate timeline that he had created?). Also, I don’t think this takes away Peggy’s autonomy in any way. Assuming the alternate timeline theory is true, her other husband and family still exist just fine in the main timeline. The main problem I had with the ending was the nagging feeling that, well, this isn’t a decision that Steve would make. Until I realized that it might be.

To start with, let’s take Tony, as a comparison who had a pretty stereotypical hero’s arc and went, in the most general terms, from selfish to selfless (no hate on Tony’s arc lmao I love him and obviously it was more complex than this, but that was the basic transition. He went from egotistical playboy to, well, Iron Man.) Steve’s arc can be thought of as the opposite. He starts out as bright and shiny Steve Rogers, the ultimate underdog who just wants to prove his worth and help fight for the cause he believes in. He’s literally the perfect, selfless soldier. After he sacrificed himself to save the world and went into the ice, when he woke up, he did the same thing. He joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and continued to devote himself to an organization that he believed was protecting the world. He had lost everyone and everything he had ever known, so his entire life became about the mission. But that very organization and, by extension, his entire life, turned out to be a lie. And so he lost that faith in the government and institutions in general. He still hung onto the team he had built, but in Civil War, when Tony was guilt-ridden by all the destruction they had caused, Steve still acted so selflessly. Of course he felt guilty too--anyone who denies that is insane--but unlike Tony, he truly believed that the government couldn’t be trusted to regulate the Avengers. And who could blame him? And so he, more than anyone else, was willing to shoulder the crushing blame and guilt for the deaths of innocent civilians because he knew that it was what was best for the public at large. But he was treated like a criminal despite the fact that he was just trying to do what was best. Even worse, he was treated like a criminal by one of his best friends, who on numerous occasions (especially at the beginning of Endgame) made it very clear that he still blamed Steve for the things that had gone wrong. He became a vigilante, still acting selflessly but not trusting anyone anymore except for a few people. And then Steve lost his two best friends, Sam and Bucky, for five years. Five years where he was constantly reminded of the fact that they had failed. But he still kept going, and his closest friend by far was Nat, and they kept fighting despite everything seeming more and more useless. And then Nat dies. She sacrifices herself to save the world. And so does Tony, who also sacrifices himself to save the world. Steve is still there, but he can’t shake the feeling that it should’ve been him, and after it’s all over, part of him wishes he had sacrificed himself too. Because he knows it’s a selfish thing to think, but it would’ve been easier. He would have finally saved the world and actually, genuinely helped people; he would’ve been treated like a hero; he wouldn’t have to deal with the gaping emptiness of his life afterwards. Because his entire life had been about the mission, and it was over. And sure, he had Sam and he had Bucky. He had Wanda and Clint and Maria Hill and everyone else. But he knew that if he stayed, he’d always be Captain America. And he was so, so sick of it. He was tired of losing the only people he trusted. He was tired of living life on edge, constantly fighting for other people only to fail and be blamed for it. He had seen how much Tony loved his new, quiet life, and he had seen how quickly everything could be taken away. And one thing had changed. He was no longer trapped here, in this still-somewhat-unfamiliar world that he had been trapped in for so long. He had just seen Peggy, he had seen the entire world--the entire life--that had been taken from him, and now he had the means to get there. And he knew at this point, what with the surplus of more than capable heroes and everything else that we saw, that Sam and Bucky would be okay and that the world would be okay without him. So he finally, after years and years of putting everyone in the damn universe before himself, did something that would make him happy.

So no, this decision isn’t one that would have been made by 1945 Steve or by 2012 Steve or even by 2018 Steve. But he’s grown, he’s changed, and he’s been through a hell of a lot since then. He didn’t “go back to the beginning” like everyone’s saying, he didn’t fail to move on with his life. In fact, that’s exactly what he did. He moved on. Not in the sense of linear time, but in the sense of his purpose in life and what he had been missing this whole time. He moved on from being a superhero and became someone else instead. And sure, it would’ve been easier if he had died. It would’ve been easier if he had sacrificed himself to save the world and died a hero, exactly like how he started. But this ending is messier and more complicated, and so is Steve. He’s not a different person than we thought he was. 2012 Steve is still 2012 Steve, Civil War Steve is still Civil War Steve. And this Steve is still ours. He still fought to the end to save the world, he was still worthy of wielding Mjolnir, he still understood the importance of beating Thanos and never losing hope. He’s Steve. He’s messy and complicated, parts of him have changed and parts of him definitely haven’t. And that’s why we love him.

#god i've been analyzing this for 48 hours straight i had to get it out #there's still so much more to discuss #but that's for another day #avengers endgame #endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #steve rogers #captain america #iron man #tony stark #mcu #peggy carter #analysis

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fanfic-collection · 6 years ago

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Valhalla: Loki x Reader - Pt 2

Spoilers!

Please comment.

I’m kinda frustrated at Endgame and how some things have been handled and this is my therapy for it. So I apologize in advance if you do not care for characterization of some people............... I’m trying to remain in character and objective, but I am also coping with my own frustrations of the movie and giving myself closure that I want (well before the series) was going to write more (you’ll see what I mean) but I guess I’ll do that part another day!

A circle of white rocks surrounded a pool of crystal clear water. Yet though the water was clear as day, the depths were not visible.

Frigga walked over to a small table and lifted a tray of cups. “I saw you coming.” She explained, glancing at the pool.

You and Loki each took a cup, Frigga removing her own, before setting the tray back on the table. She motioned for each of you to take a seat on the floor around the pool. Where you sat seemed to be made of soft pillows, yet the ground had been solid.

Frigga took her seat at the pool's edge, grabbing a handful of herbs and tossed them into the water. They sank for a moment, rippling the surface before vanishing.

For a moment, nothing happened, the pool merely absorbing the plants. You and Loki waited with hushed breaths.

Slowly the water began to form and make shapes, an image of a battlefield appeared.

Loki inhaled sharply. “The Dark Order...” He breathed softly. You reached out and touched his hand, stroking your fingers over the back of it gently. Loki glanced at you, a soft smile crossing his features, before stoically turning back to the battle. “I see the earth's mightiest heroes' numbers have grown since my time there.”

Frigga smiled, “Yes. Intentional or not, it was certainly made clear that greater threats existed in the universe.”

Loki shook his head, “They could have been safe, free of such threats. They played with power they did not understand.”

“There was a time where I thought you had done the same.” Frigga responded.

Loki looked up sharply, eyes hard.

“How ignorant I was.” Frigga finished, looking back down as Wakandan warriors fell in the onslaught.

The bifrost opened and Thor appeared, a raccoon on his shoulder and a Flora colossus by his side. Loki smiled wistfully.

“I don't recognize that weapon.” You glanced at Loki, “I was aware of Mjolnir's destruction...”

“Stormbreaker.” Loki explained, grinning. “I had it commissioned during my time as Odin, events were unfolding in the universe, it seemed best to stay ahead of them.” Loki glanced back at Frigga, “Where is the monster now?”

Frigga waved her hand and the scene changed. A barren land appeared, the end of a fight.

Loki tilted his head and squinted, “The metal man?” He leaned forward, watching a bargain unfold. “I see the sorcerer has decided to get involved in Midgard's lowly affairs.”

“He's giving one of the Infinity Stones to...”

“Thanos.” Loki breathed softly. “For the metal man's life.”

A portal opened by the space stone and Thanos vanished.

Loki looked at Frigga sharply, “Where did he go?”

Frigga tossed more plants into the water and the image changed.

Thor rushed at Thanos, Stormbreaker held aloft, the axe flew true, lightning crackling from its blade.

It landed in Thanos' chest.

Loki's mouth fell open. The three of you leaned forward. Thanos raised the gauntlet, six stones glistening and...

“No.” You whispered, shaking your head and looking up at Frigga.

“They lost.” Loki finished for you, disbelief heavy in his voice. He looked up at Frigga, “How? That is the most powerful weapon...” Loki looked back down at the frozen image of Thor watching Thanos vanish through the portal. Loki looked back up. Then back down.

Clenching his fist, Loki turned away, teeth clenched.

“There's more.” Frigga said softly.

“Is this happening now, or has it already happened?” Loki turned back, interested once more.

“It's hard to say. Time does not match up here as it does there. It has taken me a great deal of time to find out how to see between the worlds.” Frigga explained.

“Please, continue.” Loki said, settling back into his seat.

The Avengers were gathered in a facility, mostly the ones Loki knew, plus a daughter of Thanos who seemed to have changed alliances, the raccoon, and a new woman. Your trio of watchers sat in silence as they schemed a new plan to track Thanos down, he had used the Infinity Stones again.

And then...

“Just like that, he's dead?” Loki asked, watching as Thanos' head fell to the ground.

“The stones are gone...” You whispered, “All those people, all those lives, half the universe, gone.”

“Our people.” Loki whispered.

“Do the lives of humans mean so little to you, Loki? I had hoped your indifference was madness.” Frigga admonished.

Loki raised his eyebrow, “Forgive me,” He sneered, “It's hard to forget that after a literal lifetime of father's teachings that suddenly we're to remember that these mortals are in fact valuable assets, more important than goats at banquet tables.”

Frigga pursed her lips. “You are able to think for yourself.”

“Their lives are fleeting.”

“And yet they live so fully nonetheless.”

“Where were these words to challenge Odin in life?” Loki responded, a touch of poison on his tongue.

Frigga looked down sadly, “It was easier to think and know in my heart than to stand against him.”

“I do not wish death on them, but I have better things to mourn.”

“Is that how you will wile away your time from now until darkness?” Frigga responded.

“Oh no, I intend to learn this land's secrets. For now though, I wish to know what becomes of my brother. We have been through much and he has never known suffering, I fear how he will handle it.”

“You think Thor has not suffered in his life?” Frigga countered.

“He has known the suffering of a golden child. And now he has lost that. No Odin to enable him, you cannot comfort him, even I cannot gawk in his shadow, desperate for a breath of air, a touch of sun.” Loki responded evenly, a coldness in his voice. “How will the golden son fair, I wonder? His friends who occasionally humored me are dead, courtesy of Hela, Sif is lost in the winds, even our faithful people cannot give him the love and adoration they once did: how could they? The deathtoll on Asgard, the lives halved by Thanos personally and how many more turned to dust? He was sworn to protect our people. I did that for three years, mocked cruelly for it when I turned our forces inward, keeping them from other realms and allowing Asgard to prosper in itself. I turned our wealth to the arts. Did I glorify myself? Perhaps, I daresay I was owed that much for my sacrifice, I would have gone alone, unknown, and forgotten as ever had I not. I am owed that much. Was removing Odin's powers wrong, it is by right a crime of the realm, but what of the punishment promised to me despite my efforts time and again? Or Thor, who in this situation was valiant and just? I do not regret sending Odin to Midgard. He was the one who chose to die. And where is the fool?” Loki looked around angrily as though Odin might walk out suddenly.

“He was not worthy of Valhalla.” Frigga whispered quietly. “A warrior's death befits Valhalla, dying with a blade, or weapon, in one's hand.”

Loki blinked several times, slowly reeling back. “Oh.” He finally finished with a soft mutter.

“Well, regardless if Thor has known suffering before, he knows it now.” Frigga pointed at the water.

Thor stumbled around his hut drunkenly, night after night. The days and nights whirled by, time passing in a blur. Slowly his hair grew out, his muscles sagged, the weight of the world settled on his shoulders, and yet he rarely left his hut.

“He's a mess.” Loki said, having stood up during his speech and never resumed sitting.

“My poor son.” Frigga whispered, reaching towards the water.

Loki looked at Thor in disgust, “What of our people?”

“Valkyrie cares for them mostly, Thor leaves his hut every month or so to address the Asgardians. They've set up a nice little fishing village on the water's edge.” Frigga explained, still staring longingly at Thor.

“Even now you seek to bolster him.”

“He needs it!” Frigga looked up at Loki.

Loki grit his teeth, “In the depths of my misery, he came to me in my cell. I blamed myself for your death, and he refused to share in our grief, resilient as always. My golden brother.” Loki hissed.

“Your jealousy will wear at you, Loki. Even in death it can destroy you.” Frigga murmured.

Loki looked down at Thor laying on his back, staring morosely at the ceiling. Korg, the rock creature, stood in the doorway with a case of beers. Setting down the case, he closed the door and left.

“I'm disgusted.” Loki whispered. “He's better than that. I admired him for so long.”

“He is only a man, Loki.” Frigga whispered back.

“We are gods. The god of thunder. Look at him.”

“Do you see yourself?” Frigga asked.

“I see what I could have been.” Loki muttered, “I was given nothing and forged in fire. He was given everything.” Loki shook his head.

“He lost his people.”

“I lost my people. And I fought on, I sacrificed my life for him, to live, not... not for this.” Loki trailed off.

“Living is much harder than dying.”

Loki's eyes flashed, “Do you forget what happened when the Bifrost broke? When Odin told me, dangling over an abyss, that I was not good enough? When I gave into despair? You think I haven't met death before? I have been wrenched away from her sweet kiss more times than most, you think I don't know that living is harder than dying?”

Frigga changed tactics, “He has not known the same pain you have, he has not had to cope as you have.”

“No. I had to alone, everything, always alone.”

You stood up. “You have me.”

“I lost you so quickly.” Loki said, turning to you and cupping your face.

You gripped his neck and pulled him towards your height, leaning your forehead against his. “I did not know you for as long as I wish I had, but I have thought every moment I have been here of you. I have been with you in spirit.”

Loki smiled weakly, thumb stroking along your cheek. He swallowed hard and nodded before slowly pulling away. Looking back at Frigga then down at Thor, he shook his head.

“Brother... what is wrong with you...” Loki slowly knelt down. You knelt down beside him and leaned against him.

“How long has it been?” You asked, noting the new lines on Thor's face, the length of his hair, the state of the hut.

“I believe five years.” Frigga answered.

“He doesn't speak with the Avengers, his old friends?” Loki tilted his head.

“He's broken, my son.” Frigga responded, “He seems to be trying to drink himself to death. You have always been a great source of comfort to him.”

“As he said so frequently.” Loki muttered.

“Do you have no sympathy for your brother, after all you've been through?” Frigga asked, a hint of pleading in her voice.

“It's been five years, he has not said my name once.” Loki replied, watching Dr. Banner and the raccoon leave, Thor stumbling after them.

“So time travel? How will that work with the scrying pool?” Loki asked.

“It is attuned to their energies in the cosmos, I believe it will follow them.” Frigga explained, searching for more herbs.

“They're going back to the Chitauri invasion.” Loki breathed, “Will they see me?”

“It is likely.”

“I wish to follow the metal man as well.”

“You can call him Tony, he seem nice. I think he respects you.” You smiled at him.

“And how would you know?” Loki raised an eyebrow at you.

“What do you think we practiced scrying on before you arrived?”

Loki looked from you to Frigga then slowly smiled, “So it would seem.” He finally responded, shaking his head slowly and chuckling, “Very well.”

Thor sneaked past Loki's cell, the raccoon in tandem. Without acknowledging them, the Loki in the cell continued to toss a metal cup, ignoring the world around him.

“He ignored me.” Loki whispered softly, “He didn't even acknowledge my existence... All this grief...” Loki looked up at Frigga. “You said he mourned for the loss of me, surely he would...” He looked down at the empty hall beside the cell. “Wouldn't he...” Loki watched as Thor worried at the raccoon, fretting over the impending death of Frigga. “Of course he worries for you.” Loki swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. “Is all this sorrow and grief...”

“He didn't bat an eye when the Warriors three died.” you whispered.

Loki looked at you, “I thought surely I just hadn't found them on the ship yet.”

“You're more observant than that.”

Loki looked at Frigga, then to you, back at the pool. “He speaks not my name, he stops not for me in prison, yet is willing to risk any consequences by seeking you out.” A crooked, open-mouthed smile crossed Loki's face as he continued to blink, tears pricking at his eyes. “Of course.” He licked his lips, nodding slowly. “Yes. My mistake.”

“Loki...” You said slowly, resting your hand on his knee.

Frigga interjected, “He has never been good at expressing his emotions, Loki.”

“He couldn't be damned to even mention me? Not even to you? To stop at my cell? I'm sure I would have just thought it was that madness setting in!” Loki snarled.

“Your brother doesn't think like that.”

“There you are, defending him again!” Loki snapped.

“I'm trying to make you see another side!” Frigga protested.

Loki pursed his lips.

“He fixes problems by punching them, he doesn't know how to tell someone that he is bleeding from his heart, that the closest person to him is gone forever and he is alone in the world and he thinks it's his fault.”

“It is his damned fault!” Loki roared.

“Loki please.” Frigga pleaded.

Loki trembled beside you, fury radiating from him.

“He wanted you to love him as you always had, for you to step out and be your own person scared him, he needed time to change and adapt to your growth.”

“Pity for him.” Loki snarled.

“People always need time to grow, Loki, even for you. He would have, in time, and perhaps it would have been healthier for you to be away for him during that time, to grow by yourself as he grew by himself. But fate was cruel and took away that chance.”

“But now he has the rock beast, back to hero worshiping him.” Loki shook his head, “Any growth he might have had from having his enablers taken away is gone, he's going to fall back into the old patterns.”

Frigga sighed and looked down at the pool, Thor triumphantly holding Mjolnir. “So it would seem.”

“Might as well see the Chitauri then.” Loki waved his hand.

#Loki x reader #multi chapter

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jcmorrigan · 5 years ago

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Stop! Hammer Time!

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) This is the longest thing I’ve written for us - it’s 12 pages in MS Word - so no one’s obligated to read it; I’m just putting it out there because I’m lovestruck and need to get this out of my system. I’m only YT-current, not VRV-current, and it’s been four episodes, so I’m well aware this ship could get sunk at any time. I’m just having fun while I can. Anyway, here’s the whole big love confession thing - there’s some contextual stuff that you just gotta Roll With and also I have lots of headcanons in play here that Word of God is probably gonna disprove (trans biroace Gio anyone?). Anyway, enjoy. Or don’t.

***

I would say the part where it all went to shit was the Fog of Lost Souls.

To be fair, we were losing pretty badly before that. It had seemed like the perfect crime: overrun the mall. Jewelry stores galore! Expensive video game consoles! A Hot Topic for Rachel!

As for Miss Scribere, she had done the usual, for the usual fee. A detailed floor plan, thorough reconnaissance, surveys of the entrys and exits, locations of all visible security cameras, proximity of the Hot Topic to the ideal entry point. After all, her cut was going to be enough gems to pay off her rent and also every piece of Kingdom Hearts merch in the entire boutique. (Mostly that Kairi hoodie.)

That’s me. Miss Rachel Scribere. No, I don’t have an Epithet, least of all one to do with writing. I wish. I am a writer, however. It’s just that I’m a mundie of a writer.

So, fast forward. I, the independent contractor who is a Banzai Blaster associate by a technicality, have brought the intel to the legit Blasters (as “legit” as the Blasters can be – seriously, there’s a reason I’m an independent contractor). We’ve thought through every obstacle that could probably have happened to us (and, thanks to one certain gorgeous boss, several that could improbably have happened). I’ve already deliberately repressed several outpourings of affection toward said gorgeous boss.

Oh, yeah. That’s an important part of this story. The fact that Crusher isn’t the only person crushing on Giovanni Potage. Just that he’s the only person who got nicknamed after it.

Keep your finger on that fast-forward button. So we’re in the middle of the food court, about twelve of us trying to bring out our haul, and I’ve already had about five of those moments where Giovanni and I would have to interact directly (including him wandering into the Hot Topic as my hand was hovering over that Kairi hoodie, and then I had to pretend that I wasn’t a complete and total gamer nerd and give it up until another day when I would probably pay full MSRP for it) and I would get just too flustered to say anything in return and move on over to talk to Ben or Darkstar or anybody but Crusher, really, since he was quite steamed at me for being the Romantic Rival.

We had it all in the bag, quite literally, when the other guy showed up. With another crime syndicate. And these guys were wearing black to indicate they were really, really serious. My danger senses went off almost immediately, but Giovanni, being Giovanni, had insisted that the Banzai Blasters had first dibs on this mall, so the other guys would just have to leave.

That was how we found out the other guy’s Epithet was “Hammer.” Whose Epithet is “Hammer,” anyway? Stupid question: this guy’s. Marcus Malleus, he was called. His syndicate didn’t have a name, because apparently naming your crime syndicate is for losers (never mind that we didn’t even pick the name). And even without the gigantic hammer of solidified aether that he hoisted like a dark Mjolnir, this man was enormous. He probably could have killed us with one blow.

And we’ve now arrived at the place where it went to shit.

“Whose Epithet is ‘Hammer,’ anyway?” Giovanni asked derisively. (No, I never have had an original idea in my life; why do you ask?) “What’re you gonna do? Knock us all into the ground like nails?”

“Exactly,” Marcus said as he grinned, showing off a few broken teeth to demonstrate that he’d survived his fair share of scraps.

“Don’t be silly!” Giovanni waved him off. “We’d never…survive…that.”

It seemed he was the last one to realize we were in some deep shit.

“That’s what I’m countin’ on,” Marcus said as he advanced.

I could see that Giovanni’s knees were beginning to tremble. I wanted to run to him, to throw myself between him and the threat, but I was frozen, rooted to the spot by fear of all flavors. What a failure, failure, failure I was –

And yet he didn’t admit to his own terror. Instead, he put up a hand and demanded, “STOP!”

That was enough to at least distract Marcus into holding still. “What the – “

“I hope you’re prepared to find your way…” Giovanni had put his arms out to either side now. “THROUGH THE FOG OF LOST SOULS!”

The steam filled the food court quickly and thoroughly. We all heard Giovanni shriek “SCATTER!”.

So we did…as iffy as I felt about leaving him behind and fending for myself.

Turned out that shouldn’t have been my priority at all. Turned out I couldn’t fucking see anything in the fog-bomb, which worked in our favor insofar as it meant Marcus not chasing us but had the big downside of me being unable to find my way through an unfamiliar environment.

I ran into a fucking table.

I screamed as I went down, hitting the tile hard. At least it was only the ordinary sort of fall. Nothing broken, nothing bruised – not even my glasses.

That relief only lasted momentarily, because I’d been tripped up just long enough for the fog to clear and Marcus to find one and only one Blaster (or rather Blaster-adjacent) left on the field. And guess who that was?

The moment I’d gotten to my feet, I felt the hammer’s blow.

I was thrown all the way out of the court, hitting a wall before going down. In a panic, I made a check that I was still alive – well, duh, or I wouldn’t have been panicking. But there was pain, so much pain. Something was broken, but I couldn’t quite tell what, because my head was fucked up as well. I was pretty sure I was concussed, or on the verge of it. Consciousness became less of a black-and-white state and more like a soupy gray area where I was suspended between dreamland and knowing just how many steps away from death I was.

In the flashes, I knew what I was dreaming about. Him. Kneeling over my prone body, hands pressed to either side of me, his voice breaking as he lamented, “Composer…no…not my beautiful, amazing Composer…he…he fucked her up…!” The hitch in his breath that indicated he was crying.

Wait a minute.

That wasn’t the dream half.

I attempted to pry my eyes open to see Giovanni hovering over me, shivering with concern. Was he all blurry because I was half-dead or because my glasses had been shattered and lost? Did it matter? His cape was draping almost protectively around both of us as he wept.

My heart skipped a few beats, even though I knew damn well he did this for all of his minions. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t a favorite. He loved all of us so much…and that’s why I loved him so specially. Because he had room in his heart for so many people. Because he didn’t have to have a crush on me to do this, to cry for me when he worried I was –

I had better try to indicate I wasn’t actually dead.

I pushed out a laborious groan. Things were getting clearer…sort of. I managed the words “I’m…fffffine.”

“Then COME ON!” He seized my forearms. “We gotta get outta here! I think this guy might be having a lucky enough day to beat us today!”

“Mmh…okay…”

It seemed a Herculean feat to get to my feet. Thankfully, my vision wasn’t blurring in and out so much – more like normal lost-glasses blind than concussion-blind. We could still make a run for it.

Or so I thought until I put weight on my right foot and crumpled immediately with a yelp.

It took me a moment to realize that he’d gone down with me as I’d fallen to my knees, keeping his hands on my forearms. “Not fine,” I panted, “not fine…”

“Then I’m gonna get you out of here.”

It was that determination in his voice that always signified he was about to do something absolutely asinine.

Before I could talk him out of it, he’d swept me up like a bride, one arm behind my back and the other under my knees. It would have been like a scene from a dream had I not known that Giovanni could not lift my weight, and he was doomed to fail from the start.

We tumbled over together, screaming in two-part harmony.

“Okayokayokay – “ Giovanni muttered as I rolled off of him, now pretty much sobbing from the pain. What all had that Malleus guy broken? “Oh! I know! I know EXACTLY how I’m getting you out of here! You’ll be patched up in no time!”

I then felt the rim of a warm cup of liquid being pressed to my lips. Was he serious? “Is this – “

“Just drink it, dammit!”

I wanted to refuse, but we didn’t have time for that fight. As the health-replenishing soup coursed through me, I could feel the aches and pains disappearing, mellowing out, the throbbing and buzzing in my head subsiding.

He’d actually done it. And I immediately wished he hadn’t.

“Why did you DO that?” I screamed.

“WHAT?” he barked. “Are you grossed out because it’s from my SWEAT? I would think it’s better than being DEAD!”

“I don’t CARE about your sweat-soup, and you know it! But you can only do that once per fight! Now you can’t use it on YOU!”

“Oh, please.” He stood to full height, and I rose with him, trying to focus on his facial features through my half-blind haze. “Like I’m gonna let this jerk best me. Trust me, that fog’s gonna keep him lost for a while, and I’m gonna – “

I may have been half-blind, but even I could make out the shape of the hammer swinging through the fog.

For once, my reflexes were on-point enough to carry me out of the way.

Giovanni’s weren’t.

I saw him sideswiped, then peeled off the floor so Marcus could hold him up by the collar; “Payback, you little bitch!”

I could hear his whimpering. His screaming. I wanted so badly to fling myself at Marcus Malleus, to tackle him, to land my own critical hit, to save my boss, my friend, my Giovanni –

And I turned and ran instead.

But not without a strategy. I was half-blind, disarmed, and no good in a fight at this moment. I would just have to hope Giovanni would hold out until I’d gotten my plan in motion.

Please.

The other Blasters had taken refuge in a Claire’s we’d designated as our rendez-vous point should we need to scatter. I stumbled in, nearly knocking down a rotating display of earrings.

“Where is he?” a voice called out. Crusher, of course.

“He’s back there,” I said in a panicked rush. “The big guy has him.”

“Why the HELL did you leave – “

“I need you guys to run the Gazpacho Maneuver,” I declared.

“But we’ve never practiced that before!” Car Crash argued.

“Well, you’re gonna do it NOW,” I insisted, “or the boss is gonna get crushed.”

By the time we got back to the food court…I’ll admit I couldn’t see a lot of the details. Just a strip of yellow lying on the floor, a shadowy mass hovering above him with an instrument held high.

However, if the Gazpacho Maneuver went to plan, which I know it did, here’s what happened: first, Artful Dodger ran at Marcus to distract him, getting his attention only to duck every blow. (Contrary to what you’re thinking right now, he actually got his nickname from his love of Dickens. Go figure.) Then Crusher and Car Crash rushed him from either side to blindside him from two directions. During this time, Flamethrower and Sharpshooter arranged themselves around the food court in order to sharpshoot and flamethrow at Marcus, respectively, from an optimal distance – and no, I did not mix up that order. Meanwhile, Ben and Darkstar teamed up to spirit Giovanni away, carrying him away from the danger zone. On the way out, Ben tugged my sleeve, indicating I needed to go with.

So I did, leaving the others to carry out the other thirty-six moves of the plan that would either leave Marcus incapacitated and bound on the floor or just buy them some more time before they were also smacked halfway across the mall.

We re-convened in a JCPenney. We’d almost gone to the Claire’s, but then realized that had no bed for a patient, and had to relocate to a department store with some of those little short bed-sets that look comically small. When I was younger, I always used to think those things were perfectly kid-sized. Huh…I wondered how Molly would think about these beds, since they seemed the perfect length for her.

How was I going to tell Molly if the closest thing she had to a dad died protecting me? Hell, Sylvie didn’t have the best relationship with Giovanni, but…how could I tell him either?

Ben and Darkstar had Giovanni settled as best they could across the bed widthways, adjusting the pillow beneath his head, giving worried mutters of “Boss…boss!”

I held my breath, praying he’d answer.

“Wh…why’d you do that? I was winning…”

It was like being dunked in an ocean of relief. I practically collapsed. Very nearly started crying when I heard his voice, weak as it was.

“We know you were!” Ben replied. “But we thought it was best to leave that hammer guy with the humiliation of defeat while we made our getaway!”

“No,” I broke in. “No, I’m not playing this game. Not today.”

I could see all eyes turning upon me. All heads, anyway. Vision was still shot, but I could make out outlines and colors.

“You almost died,” I said, now feeling the tears coming. “Because I fucked up. I fucked up, and you healed me instead of yourself, and I just…I shouldn’t have come here, and I’m so, so sorry…”

“What?” Giovanni’s voice cracked. “Composer…you did great out there! You rallied the backup! I knew you were a great choice for team strategist! You probably would’ve played a really epic victory theme for that team attack if you’d had speakers! …We gotta start bringing speakers on our heists.”

“Just STOP!” I shrieked, shutting my eyes to let the tears gather up. “DON’T talk me up! I don’t need your pity! I just need you not to die! I…I…”

I couldn’t say it now. No. He didn’t need that. But there was something else I wanted to assert.

“I think…you’re wonderful…” I choked. “To all of us…and without you…we’d be fucking nowhere…you make all of us feel so special, and…and we can’t lose you.”

No. I wasn’t going to confess, but in times like these, I couldn’t keep myself completely sequestered. Not when he, too, was probably in need of somebody to be a comfort.

I approached the bed, prying my eyes open far enough to see it clearly, placing my hand on the edge of the mattress and scooting it toward him. He got the hint, catching my hand in his and squeezing it so tightly that I knew deep down, he was far more afraid than he was letting on.

“I know,” he said softly. “And you’re not gonna. But we need you too, Composer. You’re emotional support. You’re, uh…you’re really valuable emotional support. Like when a person who isn’t necessarily me is in a lot of pain and needs a really, really good friend…”

I closed my other hand around his. “I’m here,” I practically whispered. “I’m gonna be shit at doing anything but crying, but I’ll try.”

“Thanks, Composer. I knew I could count on you. You know I love you, right?”

I froze. Then it hit me all over again: he said that to all of us. I wasn’t special. But I didn’t need to be. The last thing I needed was to be throwing myself a fucking pity party while he was lying broken and beaten on a mini-bed.

“I know,” I choked. “How…how bad does it hurt?”

“It’s not bad! I think he only broke my leg. Upper body’s just fine! That’s enough to put up a fight, right?”

That got a laugh out of me. Even though I knew he was probably serious about his leg being broken. His pain tolerance was rather incredible. “Which leg is it?”

I knew he was thinking over which of his hands formed the “L.” He eventually came up with “Left.”

I was on his right side, so theoretically…no. That would be pretty damn selfish.

But maybe not. Because I knew he wouldn’t ever admit to wanting, needing more. “If it wouldn’t hurt you too much,” I said softly, “I might need a hug.”

“Sure,” he said, too enthusiastically. I had been right. “Bring it in, Composer.”

I practically fell into him, wrapping his upper body up tight in my arms. I cried over him as he’d cried over me. He leaned into me, and I could feel him shaking, trying so hard to hide it. I thrust my hand into his hair, the only thing I could think of, stroking through the pink locks to give him any extra comfort I could.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I whispered. “I…I’ve got you.” I’d always wanted to say that to someone. I hadn’t really considered the dire circumstances that would warrant it. Turned out it was absolutely as intimate of a thing as I had thought.

His hand clutched at the back of my dress. Trying to pull me tighter.

“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“I’m not,” he whispered, and I knew he meant it.

“Uh…Boss? Composer?” Ben broke in.

Right. We were making a pretty big scene. We let go at that, and I turned back around, only to see the real reason that Ben had gotten our attention. The other Blasters had arrived en masse.

“Wait,” I realized. “If you’re here, and Boss isn’t healed up…that means…”

“We lost,” Car Crash sighed, and though I couldn’t see the details, I could imagine the bruises and cuts riddling them.

“Anyone down?” Giovanni asked in a panic.

“Nope,” Flamethrower stated. “We did lose the haul, though. Everything except the one bag with the Special Thing you told us to protect.”

Now I was lost. “What was the Special Thing?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Giovanni said quickly.

“Boss, what did you take?”

“I SAAAIIIIID DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT! WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOM?”

“I sure HOPE you don’t think of me as a mom,” I grumbled.

“What?”

Giovanni sighed. “Well, the important thing is we don’t have any boys down.”

“Speaking of down,” I realized, “did anyone think to pull the grate – “

“We’re locked in,” Flamethrower assured me. “No one’s getting in…no one’s getting out.” Then the ramifications sank in. “We’re actually stuck here until the morning.”

“We shouldn’t move him, either,” I said softly. “I don’t know what to do about that, but…maybe things will look better in the morning.”

“C’moooonnnn, I can make it,” Giovanni sighed. “Just carry me out like you did here.”

“Not if your leg’s broken.”

“That is seriously not gonna mess it up.”

“Yes. It. Seriously. IS.”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING FOR ME, COMPOSER? ARE YOU THE BOSS? NO! I’M THE BOSS! THAT’S WHY MY NAME IS ‘BOSS’!”

“I’M TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOUR LEG DOESN’T GET FUCKED UP ANY WORSE, OKAY? WILL YOU JUST SLOW DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll heal up just fine IN JAIL WHEN THE COPS SHOW UP TO DRAG US ALL IN!”

I clenched my teeth. Then sighed. “I am not doing this. Okay. What counts as a fight?”

“Wha – “

“What. Counts. As. A. Fight.”

“Okay, I totally see where you’re going with this,” Giovanni replied, “but you should spell it out because I don’t think Spike gets it.”

“Hey!” Spike snapped. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to point it out!”

“You can make one healing soup per fight,” I reminded him. “You spent your hammer-guy soup on me. How long do you have to wait to get in another fight to spawn it again?”

“…Three hours?” he guessed. “I dunno; I’ve never timed it out before.”

“And if you got in a slap-fight with one of us, would it work?”

He shrugged. “Probably?”

“Good enough for me,” I decided. “We wait three hours, then stage a fight, and then we can probably get you out of that bed.”

“Fiiiiiiine,” Giovanni sighed, folding his arms and looking for all the world like a petulant child. “We’ll do it YOUR way. Now we gotta kill three hours! I’m gonna be so booooooored!”

“God.” I rolled my eyes. “Stop being so immature for like two seconds. There are PLENTY of ways we can be not bored in here. Like, I dunno…playing wed-bed-behead or Would You Rather.”

“Oh, I’M immature, and THAT’S how you want to pass the time?”

“Screw this.” I turned to storm off toward the eyeglass shop. “I’m getting at least SOME of my vision back.”

I felt a little bad about leaving him, but he seemed able to snark for himself at the moment, so I decided to just let him stew while I went shopping for some new glasses. Shopping without paying, that is.

“Uh…Composer?”

I turned to see a certain purple-haired minion tagging along – pretty much my one teammate who was shorter than me. “Hey, Spike.”

“So…I was just wondering,” Spike brought up. “You and Boss…you ever notice how you two kinda fight like a married couple?”

I nearly froze. Yet I kept up my stride, my one shoe (when had I lost a shoe?) clacking on the tile. “No, we don’t.”

“You kinda do.”

“We do NOT.”

“I’m just saying…”

“Do you WANT me to like him?” I snapped at her. “Last time I checked, you were the one who loved him. You and Crusher.” I then immediately regretted it. “God. No. That came out wrong. What I meant – “

“I know you wanna keep the peace and everything,” Spike replied, “but you can go for him. I mean, he won’t notice, he never DOES, but you don’t have to hold back for my sake or Crusher’s.”

“Yes, I do.” I sighed. “Spike…I already tried.”

“…Oh.”

“It flew over his head about thirty times, and then I gave up,” I sighed. “He loves all of us. And I love that about him. But I’m never gonna be more than just…another one of the boys. And that should be fine! I’d rather have a life WITH the Boss than a life WITHOUT the Boss! But…it’s just not meant to be. And I have to put up with that.”

“Well, I’m sorry,” Spike lamented. “I mean, I came over here because I thought you should know that I really am jealous. There’s a reason Crusher’s so jealous, too. A lot of us are jealous. Boss is just…always so happy with you. I guess there’s something about you that gets to him.”

“Don’t get my hopes up,” I said somberly.

“I’m not trying to,” Spike replied. “But you two are really good friends. You shouldn’t avoid him so much.”

“…Am I that obvious?”

“He WANTS to get to know you better. But you keep running away, and I was right about why, which means Flamethrower owes me five bucks!”

“Well, maybe I’ll have to think about it, then.” We’d arrived at the eyeglasses. “But no promises. Like I said…I tried. Maybe I just…have to try harder to aim for the friend zone. The friend zone isn’t bad. It’s where you make friends.”

“That’s the spirit, Composer!”

I began to cycle through a rack of glasses.

“What’s your prescription?” Spike asked.

“I have no fucking idea,” I replied.

Eventually, I found one that improved my vision enough for me to get by. Now I could see how many little bruises Spike was sporting beneath her visor. My stomach twisted; I wondered if technically, that, too, was my fault.

I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

I kicked off my other shoe on the way back; the asymmetry was bothering me. I did my best to listen to Spike complaining about the loot Marcus got away with, especially the rhinestone-studded smartphone case (which she seemed to be angrier about than him taking an actual smartphone from our haul). All the while, I couldn’t help but mull over all the things that were my fault. Her getting hurt, them getting hurt…

Giovanni getting hurt.

Everyone else was thronged around him, him still reclined on the mini-bed, when Spike and I returned. I tried to hang to the back of the crowd, trying not to draw attention to myself. No need to kick up that fight again.

“All right, boys,” Giovanni stated. “Like we planned.”

And then they all began to disperse.

“Wait, what?” Spike asked.

“Boss wants us to investigate all the departments,” Flamethrower explained. “We might be able to pick up some replacement loot!”

“Um…okay?”

Spike and I turned to join the mission, but I was held back by a sharp demand: “Not you, Composer.”

It took me a while to be able to turn and face him once the others had scattered. Then, once I met his eyes – even from that distance, I could see the gold flecks in them, or maybe that was just my memory filling in, since I was wearing under-prescription glasses – I gave a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“What do you MEAN for what?” I was snapping again. “For being rude, I guess.”

“You really think I’m that immature?”

He wasn’t smiling. He was actually asking. I felt like I’d just been stabbed in the heart.

“No,” I admitted. “It’s…just kind of an easy target. Well, okay, I do think you are kinda immature, but it’s…fun immature. The whole kid-at-heart thing. That’s one of the reasons I love…running missions with you and hanging around base.”

“Okay. Just checking. That’s kinda what I thought, but I had to make sure before I said anything.”

“Said anything about what?” I was baffled.

“I’m having a bit of a crisis,” Giovanni said rather casually, turning to face the ceiling. “You’re good with strategy and tactics and all that brainy stuff. Maybe you can help me.”

Gingerly, I approached the bed. Sat down beside him on the edge of it. “I’ll try.”

I thought, for a moment, I saw him tense when I sat down. I wondered if I was too close, if I should leave.

“You know I love each and every one of my minions,” he stated. “All of you bring something special to the team! Together, we are an unstoppable force of unadulterated evil AWESOMENESS! But I’m not supposed to play favorites! If I think one of my minions is better than any of the others, then what happens? Do I lose all credibility? Do I stop seeing how valuable they are? I can’t do that to my boys!”

I wasn’t sure exactly where he was going with this. I wondered if maybe he’d latched onto someone he actually did have feelings for. Oh. He wanted me to advise him how to progress with his actual crush.

Fuck.

“I…don’t think it’s bad to have a favorite,” I muttered. “Not necessarily. I mean, having a LEAST favorite would be a problem, but you’re not gonna lose sight of how great everyone is if you pick a fave. You’re you. You’re Giovanni Potage.”

“I mean, that is true.”

My fingers interlaced with each other. “Wh…who is it?”

He was silent a while before saying, “I don’t wanna tell you their minion name, but her – HIS legal name is…uh…Ray…bert…Flibere. Raybert Flibere.”

I swear I was legally dead for the next three seconds. Heart stopped and all that. Even I wasn’t spacey enough to let that one fly over my head.

“And…how does Raybert make you feel?” I asked.

“Well,” Giovanni sputtered, “it’s – it’s complicated because – she has a – I mean he has a great smile, and he always laughs at my jokes, and I’m not saying my jokes are HORRIBLE, but let’s just pretend I did make horrible jokes. He’d still laugh at them. I dunno, I guess I have fun with him all the time, and I wanna make him smile, and also he makes me kinda out of breath and my heart gets this weird fluttery thing that I’m thinking is a genetic condition and GOD…DAMMIT, IT’S YOU.”

I gave an overdramatic gasp. “I had NO IDEA that Raybert Flibere was secretly a codename for Rachel Scribere!”

“Yeah, I know. I was pretty slick with that one. But I can’t freaking keep it inside anymore! You’re my best friend on the whole team, and I was really looking forward to doing this heist with you, and I…I think…”

The expression on his face was one I had never seen before. Eyes wide as they could be, as though he were facing down some existential demon. “I think I want you to be my girlfriend,” he choked out. Then, at the speed of light: “I mean, I am pretty charming and all, so I figure I have a shot, and this is just a casual thing, like you being my girlfriend casually, not that I wanna make a big deal out of it or – “

“Boss.”

“What? Can’t you see I’m trying to explain myself so I don’t look stupid here?”

“Do you remember what I was trying to tell you a couple months ago?”

“What, that thing about the dates?” Giovanni replied. “I TOLD you, dates are delicious, but not as good as figs no matter how you slice – OH.” He looked like he’d just been whacked with a two-by-four. “You were asking me ON a date.” He raised a hand to wave it off. “Which I knew, of course. I was just playing it cool until I sorted out my own heart. You know everyone wants a piece of me. It’s not easy figuring out who I should reciprocate to.”

“So you know about Spike and Crusher wanting to date you too.”

“THEY WH – I mean, yeah.” He swallowed hard. “But even with that in play, it’s still you. I can’t really explain it. You just make me smile a lot, I guess.”

I turned away from him. “You know I’m not a happy person.”

“You seem like a lot of fun to me. Especially at the compulsory Banzai Blasters dance parties.”

“I’m pretty high-maintenance.”

“Uh, yeah, duh. I KNOW. That’s why I want to prove I can MAINTENANCE you. Challenge accepted!”

“I hate myself,” I muttered. “I act like I don’t, but I do.”

“Well, then, you need somebody to point out what’s good in you, because there’s a damn lot of it.”

His hand wrapped around mine again, and I just about jumped. It was like static electricity. A new charge between us that hadn’t been there previously.

“And…I…maybe wanna thank you for…you know…this.” I still was turned away, but I could tell how flustered he was. He didn’t have to explain what “this” was. The memory of holding him close was still fresh in my mind. “I WANTED to use that soup on you, you know! How am I gonna keep doing awesome crimes without my Composer?”

“Well, I sure as shit can’t do anything without my Boss.”

“…’Boss.’ Y’know, that sounds kinda impersonal for this.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. “You even have your kids call you ‘Boss.’”

“One: she’s not my kid. Technically. Two: if she was, she’s my ONLY kid. The glasses nerd ISN’T.”

“Lies,” I teased.

“But seriously! If you wanna be my girlfriend, and you want me to be your boyfriend, you’ll still be my minion, but you’re my FAVORITE minion, so you should get to call me whatever you want!”

“You can still call me ‘Composer,’” I told him. “I like it now.”

“Good, ‘cause it’s a good name for ya! It shows off how creative you are! That’s why I like saying it: to remind everyone who’s the smart one around here without admitting it isn’t me!” He said the next words in a hiss: “But don’t tell the boys I said that. They don’t know I’m kind of an idiot.”

“You’re a TOTAL idiot,” I affirmed. “But…I love that. It works for you. It doesn’t really hold you back.”

“So, uh…you…you wanna do this or what?”

I knew I had to face him for this. So I turned. It was the most strangely vulnerable I’d ever seen him – hanging on a thread for my answer.

“Yeah,” I told him. “Let’s do this.”

“Cool! Now we’re officially partners in crime!”

“Yeah!” I smiled. Then realized what the deal-breaker might be. “Wait. There’s…there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Is this where you give me my cute pet name?”

“No,” I sighed. “It’s where I tell you that…you don’t get to fuck me.”

“Huh?”

“Because I’m asexual. Like, REALLY sex-repulsed. Ice-cold. And that ain’t changing. So if you want somebody you can fuck, you shouldn’t waste your time – “

“You thought I wanted to do THAT?”

I flinched. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all.

“I keep forgetting that’s a huge thing in this dating stuff,” he grumbled.

I hardly dared to believe it. “Are…you…?”

He gave a nervous laugh. “Funny thing…I’m kinda…asexual myself.”

“NICE!” I squealed. “This is PERFECT!” I’d known he was biromantic – that was common knowledge around base – but not this.

“And, uh…” He was now the one turning away from me. “There’s…more. I kinda…don’t have…guy things? Downstairs?”

It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying. Then my jaw dropped; “I KNEW IT.”

“Yeah. That was a thing. I picked the name ‘Giovanni’ out myself, y’know. Sounds sexy, right?”

“Incredibly sexy.”

“So if that’s gonna be a turn-off, nowwouldbethetimetotellme.”

I thought it over, just in case my first instinct wasn’t right. Then I squeezed his hand gently. “It’s fine. It’s seriously fine. I wasn’t planning on using anything in the ‘downstairs’ area to begin with, so it’s not a big deal. I’m into guys. You’re a guy. There we go.”

He rolled his head back over to look me in the eye, as though questioning if I were genuine in this sentiment. I gave him a gentle smile, and he flashed me a mischievous smirk. “Don’t be mad because I get THREE pride flags and you only get ONE.”

“Well, I wasn’t until you SAID that!”

“Okay. So that’s about everything, except…oh, yeah. The big thing.”

“Your pet name, I know,” I recalled. Then, due to my general chickenshit nature, what I said next came out as a mumble.

“What was that?”

“I said I…” I could feel my face going red.

“What, is it embarrassing?” Giovanni teased. “You wanna call me ‘Shnookums’? ‘Cutie Pie’? ‘Sugar fangs’?”

“Wha – NO!” I snapped. “I was thinking…more like…” I finally managed to squeak it out: “Gio.”

“I like that!” he cried immediately. “It has panache!”

“All right. Then you’re not Boss anymore…Gio.” I couldn’t help but smile. I was finally calling him it out loud. I could’ve said it all day, over and over, Gio, Gio, Gio…

“But that wasn’t the thing that was gonna wrap it up, Composer.”

“Wait, what?”

His free hand searched beneath the blankets of the mini-bed. “The Special Thing. I was gonna say this to you tomorrow, after I got it for you. Actually, I wasn’t sure what I was going to get to make this as dramatic as possible, until I saw you looking at this in the nerd store. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anybody you’re a nerd if you don’t tell anybody I’m a dumbass.”

He passed me a plastic bag containing a folded piece of fabric. A black plastic bag. I knew it immediately.

“YOU. DIDN’T.” I pried the bag open; my jaw dropped. “Do…do you even know what this means to me?”

“I know it’s from one of your nerd games. Maybe you wanna tell me about it sometime? I like the looks of it.”

I removed the pink-and-plaid hoodie from the bag, slipping it on over my dress. (It didn’t match at all. I didn’t care.) “It’s from a character I’m not sure you’d like,” I admitted. “She’s like the sweetest hero. There is literally no evil in her. But she just seems so nice and friendly, and everyone calls her useless, and I love thinking about her potential.”

“She sounds like you. Except without a fun side.”

“That’s actually a compliment, believe it or not.”

He was biting his lip now, fangs almost piercing it, and I could tell he wanted to say more. “What?”

“…Also, she’s not useless. I’m not…a super fan or anything…but I know she gets that huge moment in the second game when she jumps off the balcony and starts beating up the monsters. And that’s also a lot like you when you get down to it.”

I lightly slapped his shoulder. “You. FUCKER. You KNEW. And you let me think I was ALONE here?”

“Look, I’m already hiding the whole dumbass thing!” Giovanni hissed. “You think I can live down being a nerd AND a dumbass AND the guy who cried when she bit it in the third?”

“Ho…ly…shit. You and I need to have a SERIOUSLY long conversation.”

“Well, we have some time now. And three hours to pass later.”

“What about the boys?”

“We’ll just send them to check out more distractions. They’re probably trying on formal wear right now.”

(I later found out that was exactly what the bulk of them were doing.)

“You can get more comfortable if you want,” Giovanni invited. “There’s room.”

Again, it took me a while to grasp his meaning. He was really trying so hard to climb out of the hole of flustered-ness he’d tripped himself into. I did get it, though. I pulled my legs up onto the mattress, lying down beside him. “Is this too close?”

“No. It can be closer, you know.”

I scooted closer to him – pressing right up beside him. His arm came up behind my back, and I shivered as he cradled me there. I pivoted, laying on my side so I could put an arm around him, as well – after all, he was still the one with a shattered leg. And so many more little bruises and marks I could see now that I had better glasses.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“Will you cut that out?” he sighed. “It’s really better me than you.”

My arm pried off him so that I could gently stroke down the side of his face. Looking into his luminous, sparkling eyes. Smoothing down those long, unruly pink locks. He was mine, mine, mine. And my heart would damn near break if I let this happen to him again.

“I’m not the kind of badass you think I am,” I said hoarsely. Great. Now I was on the verge of crying again. “I don’t have a whole jump-off-the-balcony-and-slice-monsters thing. I just…stood there and watched him beat you up.”

“I don’t care. You’re valid in so many ways, Composer. Just…stay with me now?”

“Yes. I will.”

My arm was replaced over him, protecting him as best I could from what few threats could reach us here in this bed – loneliness, misunderstanding, betrayal.

“So tell me exactly how many ‘nerd games’ you’ve played,” I said with a playful smirk. Turning it on him for once.

“Ohhhhh boy,” he sighed. “So this is gonna turn into a pretty long explanation…”

#selfship #i'm at soup!

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solcomfortssouls · 6 years ago

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Avengers Endgame review

This movie suffered a bit from the sheer amount of content that made it all a bit hrr and chaotic, but everything I was looking forward to was there and some more, so I'm actually pretty satisfied.

Firstly, this movie was very Iron man centric and as a big Tony Stark fan I loved every part of it. Tony's conflict in this movie was about choosing between the happiness of his family and his own time with them and the greater good of the whole universe and for me it overshadowed everyone else.

Tony having a family and a daughter for 5 happy years. Oh god, that was so sweet and deserved. A nice house by the lake, and a cute little girl that Tony treats so lovingly while staying in character. Also his relationship with Pepper is amazing here - he told her immediately what he was thinking about doing, and she knew and loved him enough to understand he wouldn't be able to give it a rest. He wouldn't be able to let go of the chance, possible only because of his brilliant mind. She knew she married a genius with obsessive compulsion to fix the world. Tony wouldn't be able to live with himself, if he didn't. But it was hilarious and heartbreaking seeing him so mad when he realized he figured it out.

Morgan. I wonder what role she will play. I would love it if she did have some in the future. Even more if she did come up in connection with Peter somehow though that's unlikely. But every scene with her and Tony was perfection personalized.

Tony and Cap reconciling. Really all their scenes were excellent. Cap helping Tony out of the jet, Tony saying he couldn't stop Thanos, Tony saying he lost the kid in that broken tone... Then Tony getting angry because he was right to be afraid so much ahead of time and then blaming Cap and passing out...That was powerful. Not that I think he was completly right to blame Cap, and it was cruel to say that to him. But it was so in character for Tony and I felt deeply for them and their suffering in that scene.

But then Tony and Cap making amends was very satisfying. Cap still came to Tony with the time travel idea and accepted when Tony rejected him out of the concern for his family. But I think Cap knew that Tony wouldn't give it a rest, that by giving him the thought he would definitely obsess over it until he figured it out. And despite Tony having the most to lose out of all of them, he hated he couldn't save Peter. That was a loss heavily hanging on him and tipping him over the edge in his decision.

Then all the scenes showing Tony and Cap trusting each other was just plain joy. It almost makes up for the fact that Cap wasn't there in Tony's last moments. But I guess there were only so many characters that could be by his side when he was dying and the people chosen - Rhody, Peter and Pepper - were definitely Tony's most treasured people that brought him peace.

Peter coming back and Tony immediatly hugging him. Oh Peter. Also Peter running with the gauntlet and being helped by all the other heroes. Really a parent team for him.

Peter crying by Tony's side. Like that heartbroken sobbing and how he tried talking to him, waking him. Oh kid. I'm interested to see how much this will impact Peter in future movies.

Tony's death scene. I loved how Pepper didn't have a freak out but instead calmly reassured him that they would make it, that they would be okay in the world he saved for them. She was aware what was Tony staking and she truly understood who he was, accepted and loved him for it. What a beautiful love. Tony fought and struggled and obsessed and cared and suffered enough. He has done enough. He can rest now. It doesn't seem fair to me he died when he finally achieved genuine happiness - with a family and Peter back. But that's the thing with tragic and untimely death, with sacrifaces for something bigger, with battles of this scale and the loss it accompanies. And it really brings home what's at risk when someone precious is actually lost.

From narrative standpoint it makes sense because Tony wouldn't be able just stay out of the way after giving up the mantle to other heroes. There is no way he would be able to live in peace when others were in trouble. To keep him true to himself and to keep him out, they had to kill him.

It's a bit different with Cap's ending. He already lived and fought in two wars, helped more then anyone could have hoped or expected him to. So Cap took Tony's advice and example by finally making a real life for himself. I think he deserved it after all he has done for earth. Plus I have seen people saying that it went against his development of moving on from his past, but if you look closer Cap's arc was never about moving on. It's something he encouraged in others but didn't know how to do for himself. Besides Avengers were special by not letting things go and attempting the impossible. Cap was stuck in the wrong century, forced to live a different life, far from his home. I don't blame him for using the chance to have it all back when he could. Besides the world doesn't need him anymore. There is enough of superheroes that the responsibility can fall off his shoulders. It was okay for him to let go and he was able to in contrast to Tony who wouldn't be able to do so, had he survived.

It's a bit confusing with the time travel, but technically if changing something in the past leads to the same future anyway, then they used time travel without erasing everything that happens in the previous movies. Cap still returned from the ice and fought with the Avengers and met old Peggy but also had a life with her. The rules are not that clear, but I understand what they were trying to do here.

The costs of victory in this film were real and painful. Gamora forgetting her bonding with the Guardians and what person it made her into. Vision not coming back. Natasha. Cap choosing to have a life instead of saving the world over and over. And God, Tony. His whole arc came to an incredible conclusion. He had a family and a lovely relationship with his daughter. And I felt his internal conflict the most. It was a lot different for him then for the others because he didn't lose everything. He had to actually decide between having a happy life with his family or dying to save the universe. Between his own self-interest and his family or the chance of bringing everyone else's family back. (Nice little callback to what his father was worried about too. And I'm happy he got closure from the prove his father did love him).

His funeral hurt. It was so emotional to see all the characters, even the Guardians honouring his death.

The way he saved everyone - not just earth but the whole universe by what he did was epic and I pretty much coudn't breathe. When Strange held up that one finger and realization fleshed in Tony's eyes that this was the only way. Oh Tony.

To me Clint's arc of going dark after the loss of his family came off as a bit cliche and his willingness to die for Nat when he had a family to live for as unrealistic - was it to show his guilt about his actions as Ronin or his closeness to Nat or his heroic character? But I'm not much of a fan of either Clint or Nat so no surprise this wasn't emotionally moving for me. Admittedly Clint's acting was believable in the heartbreaking scenes, and he really shined while protecting the gauntlet. I was kinda proud Earth had a pretty capable protector for the infinity stones themselves in the shape of one Clint Barton.

Scott turned out important but many of his dialogue and comments were just for fun and came off to me as a bit improper. I didn't really care about him at all. But I have never been much of a fan of his.

The whole combination of Hulk-Bruce, Scott's goofiness and chubby drunk Thor that couldn't focus felt a bit jarring. It was too ridiculous to be taken seriously. Rocket I could still take. Not all of them combined.

Hulk-Bruce just felt so...out of nowhere? I was intrigued by Bruce's conflict with Hulk in Infinity War and how they were going to solve it. But this? Bruce's arc was always about accepting Hulk as part of himself instead for as his enemy. This flash-forward resolving all this off screen felt cheap and I couldn't take Hulk-Bruce seriously as result.

Thor. Hmm. I didn't care much about him before Ragnarok, but he really charmed me there. So it was interesting seeing this broken side of him. It was realistic to his character since Thor is a fighter and a man of action and not killing Thanos when he had the chance really was kinda his fault. Where was he aiming? I understand he blamed himself for this the most and that even after killing Thanos nothing was solved and even worse for Thor there was no one to fight. Nothing to do but face the emptiness of his failure. Without a pressing goal or enemy Thor neglected himself and I found it believable. As much as I missed the handsome strong Thor. But he was mentally broken and him going with the Guardians means his story is not over. He didn't have all that much to offer in the last battle - the spotlight was on Cap and Tony since this was the ending to their arcs and journeys, the peak of all their development, them reaching their full potential (Steve wielding Mjolnir, Thor and Tony's tech combined, Pep in Iron suit).That's why Thor is allowed to make heavy mistakes here.

Let's not forget all the interactions of the original Avenegers plus Nebula and Rocket as a whole. Tony, Steve and Nat putting the puzzle pieces together for the time travel heist, Nebula and her revelations and the others feeling for her, (plus how Rhodey sympathised with her), Steve and Nat scenes and Nat and Clint scenes. They really tried to do their bond justice with these and in the mourning of Nat in the later half.

Nebula proved pretty interesting this movie. There was a lot of emotional results to what have been done to her and I actually quite enjoyed the focus on her and her reunion with Gamora.

The last battle was grand, with so many characters coming to defend the Earth. It felt so well deserved after Tony, Steve and Thor fought tooth and nail with Thanos to bring everyone back, that all the saved came to back them up. I loved Cap's "Reassemble" - that was incredibly well played.

I would critise the shifts between the individual plot lines were sometimes too jarring. It was chaotic, coming from one impactful scene only to get hit with another, with little to no breathing room or time to savour the atmosphere in-between. I guess that was hard to avoid with the amount and concentration of plot and characters. Infinity War succeeded in balancing emotion, action and humour, but Endgame felt like a mess of heavy scenes mixed with a lot of out of place humour.

All in all it was a bit messier but rewarding, deeply thought-out with some characters and a bit rushed with others. I have definitely found new favourite scenes and can't wait to see Endgame again.

#avengers endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #avengers endgame review #iron man #tony stark #steve rogers #capitan america #peter parker #thor #avengers movie #marvel #mcu #endgame spoilers #spiderman #thanos #pappertony #irondad and spiderson #iron dad

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