#misunderstanding? well yeah cause they both technically want the same thing

[imogenkol]

they despise each other (affectionate) [x]

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

(Oh My) Bunny-Baby 🔞

In which Jungkook had long lost hope to find someone sweet as you.

Tags/Warnings: Bunny Hybrid!Jungkook, Bunny Hybrid!Reader, strangers to lovers, major fluff, romance, Flirting, they're in love, also very horny towards the end oops, car sex, sloppy handjob, lots of... fluids, squirting aka champagne confetti wink wink, multiple orgasms, some aftercare?, idk it's something

Length: oneshot, I'll count later

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> You can request drabbles if you want.

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"Come on in- just, be a little quiet, I've got my new coworker over." Jimin chuckles, making Jungkook look at him scandalized- since Jimin, technically, has a girlfriend.

"Ah no, not like that." He waves off, walking in after they both taken off their shoes. "A waterpipe broke in her bedroom, so now she's crashing on my couch for the time being." He explains, putting a finger to his lips as they enter the living room area, where Jungkook spots your body underneath a blanket, clearly asleep.

What peaks his attention though, are the very obvious bunny ears on your head, only partially covered by your hair.

Bunny hybrids aren't common at all, nowadays, due to them ending up mixing with humans more often than not- so much so, that until now, Jungkook has never met another 'pure' bunny hybrid of the opposite sex before, ever. "Just sit down there- she sleeps like a rock, so don't worry too much about waking her." Jimin laughs, easily sitting down in a seat across from where you sleep, while Jungkook carefully takes the spot next to where your head is resting. From here, he's got an even better view of you- and you're just.. so cute.

Though he feels himself short-circuiting the moment you move, nose scrunching up a bit as you move your leg, blanket now slipping a little to reveal the softest looking bunny tail he's ever seen. That, combined with your ear twitching while you dream, makes him wonder about things he never really thought of before. He absentmindedly reaches to touch his own ear, trying to see if they're just as soft as yours look. Are they? He's not sure. He's so close to you he could just see for himself, especially when you move a little more, head leaning against his thigh, ears laying over it- but he knows how much he hates having his ears touched constantly, so he doesn't.

That would just be rude.

"Do you know a cheap place where she can stay? Sine my partner is a wolf hybrid, you know.." Jimin wonders, sighing. "Here, that's the sketches by the way." He offers, giving a few papers to Jungkook who takes them. "Oh! Or, since you're both the same species, maybe she could stay with you? You still have the pull-out couch right?"

"Yeah!" Jungkook answers, while you seem to finally wake up, slowly sitting upright, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Great!" Jimin misunderstands the rabbit boy's answer. "Hey, bunny? Jungkookie over here has an empty couch you can stay on." He tells you, who's ears slowly stand up, before you look over at the shoulder of the other bunny hybrid- head slowly lifting to look at the wide open eyes of the buck next to you. "He's easy to be around, don't worry." Jimin jokes.

"Oh?" You wonder, noticing Jungkook's black ears turned towards you as well, giving you all information you need for the moment. "Tha's nice of you." You slur sleepily, yawning before you stretch. "Thank you." You smile, and Jungkook is officially without any brain activity at all for the moment.

Especially when you lean your head to the side a bit, ears flopping over, still clearly drowsy from sleep.

"Uh.. yeah!" Jungkook snaps out of it, ripping his eyes away from you, though he hears you giggle a little to yourself, causing his tail to wiggle without his control of it. He honestly didn't mean to agree to something like this- hell, his apartment isn't even remotely tidied up, there's probably dishes in the sink and his laundry all over the place- but in some odd way, he also can't pass up the opportunity of a lifetime, basically; because you're so pretty, and-

wait, he doesn't even know if you have a boyfriend. Do you? And if you do, why is he not helping you out in a time like this? He knows he would've offered you to stay at his home right away if something was up. That's just common sense.

"I'll go get my stuff.." You mumble, slowly getting up to stretch one last time- bunny tail wiggling around as you groan, giving Jungkook pretty much whiplash from the sight alone, before you walk away into the bathroom, probably to shower and wake up properly.

"She's cute, huh?" Jimin teases, catching Jungkook staring after you. "Doesn't have a boyfriend from what I know. And she's a bunny too." He wiggles his eyebrows, while Jungkook shakes his head.

"So?" He huffs. "Doesn't mean we're like.. destined or something. I'm just gonna help her out- and after that, we'll go back to being strangers anyways." He simply says, shrugging it off. After all, he's tried relationships before- and they all somehow always failed because of him in some way, making him believe that at this point, he just isn't fit for simple relationships.

He can't help his instincts, and neither can he help his.. needs either.

So when he takes the sketches home to work on, and helps carry your bag for you- he doesn't get his hopes up for something changing, because down the line, maybe that'll protect him from the inevitable heartbreak when you leave just like he fears you will.

Just like everyone else did before.

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Inside his apartment, you're clearly finally properly awake now, curiously following him as he shows you around, before he leaves you in his small living room to fetch some sheets and blankets for you to put on the couch.

It's clear that he lives alone, apartment a bit.. lifeless almost, not much screaming home at you from what you can see. Apart from a sweater thrown over a chair at the open kitchenette, and a few dishes in the sink, it looks like any ordinary single-guy household.

Interesting. Especially the fact that his home only smells of himself and no one else. Doesn't he have a partner?

That wouldn't make sense. He's basically the perfect buck.

"It's a bit.. uh, I know this will look like it's broken but it's not-" He defends, rubbing the back of his neck after he put the blankets and sheets on one side of the couch, leaning down to pull on the lower edge of the front of the couch. "-it's just.. urgh- old!" He grits, using a good amount of strength to pull out the part that snaps back up into place, ultimately turning the small couch into a bed with good amount of space on it.

You can't help but stare wide eyed however, not at the furniture- but rather the clear display of strength of his, arms showing off their muscles even while covered mostly by his plain white t-shirt. You can't help it- after all, it's instincts.

Snapping out of it when you notice him looking at you in question, you shake those thoughts off for the moment, hands behind your back while you sway on your legs a little. "Uh.. I didn't listen, sorry. What did you say?" You ask, caught a bit in your staring contest between you and his thighs having multiplied twice their size from the way he's sitting on his heels on the floor.

"I asked if you.. if that blanket is enough, or if you want a thicker one?" He offers. "I have a spare one with feather filling if you'd like.." He wonders, and you nod instantly.

You like thick blankets and bedding a lot- it makes for great nesting material, and gives you a sense of comfort while asleep.

He smiles in a friendly manner, before he fetches said blanket, taking a bit longer to put a cover over it, before he brings it to the couch you're already on all fours on, tucking the sheets into the corners properly, and he can't help but watch you a little. He himself doesn't really nest, and since he's never met a female bunny hybrid before, he's never actually seen one making a nest, except for in movies and TV shows. So, seeing you so naturally do it, makes him wonder.

How much of what he heard and seen about female bunny hybrids is actually true- and how much is just romanticized fiction?

After all, he as a male bunny hybrid is often watered down to nothing but a good lover in bed- but once those people get into an actual relationship, and realize that it's not just fun and games but a need of his that he'd have fulfilled every day of the week if possible, he quickly becomes too much to handle.

And so, most of the time, everything always falls apart because he's too needy. Too demanding. Too high maintenance. Too tough to.. satiate.

"Here." He carefully offers the bedding to you, and you smile, happily taking it with a 'thank you' from your side. He's a bit awkward now- unsure if you'd like him to stay or not. "Do you… should I leave?" He asks, unsure.

"No?" You answer, shaking your head. "This is your home after all. Why should you leave?" You giggle, unaware of Jungkook's inner troubles with the whole situation. He sits down on the edge of the bed so he stays out of the way, while you position some pillows and the other blanket how you want, eventually settling on the thick feather-filled quilt, hugging it it as you look at him arms and legs wrapped around the thick fluffy bedding.

"I.. uhm, I've never actually met a doe before, so I'm not sure how to really act." He admits, and you nod, lips parted in an 'o'-shape as you realize his dilemma.

"That's fine." You simply say. "We're kinda rare after all, I only ever really met another buck like.. a few years back? And he was an asshole, so you're already doing a lot better than him!" You joke, though he can spot some truth behind your words, worrying him what might've happened in the past. "So, Jiminie gave you sketches, right?" You ask, and he nods, happy over the finally flowing conversation. "What's that about?" You ask.

"I'm a tattoo artist." He says, pulling up the sleeve of his white shirt way over his shoulder, showing off his inked arm, making you lean closer to gain a better look, ears fully turned towards him now in interest. "I designed all of them myself, for example." He offers, chuckling when you tilt your head to look at something in a different angle.

"Oh, they're so cool!" You praise, before leaning back again. "I wanna have a tattoo too, but, I don't know.. people told me I shouldn't, cause it wouldn't suit me.." You mumble, leaning back into the comfort of the bedding.

"I mean, it depends what you'd want?" He shrugs. "I could for sure come up with something more delicate maybe?" He wonders, mind already trying to imagine some art underneath your skin right now.

"Heh, you wanna mark me up?" You flirt boldly, catching him off guard at your innuendo. "I'm just kidding. You're cute!" You compliment, before you curl up in your little nest once more. "...though.." you mumble, looking at him dangerously from underneath your lashes.

...though?" He asks, breathes out almost carefully.

"Though I wouldn't mind you cuddling me, to be honest." You giggle into the quilt, cheeks tinted softly. "You look like you give great cuddles." You say, and he laughs a bit bashfully to himself.

"I mean- maybe?" He shrugs, unsure. He's not really.. cuddled much before, every touch of his always having been taken as either an invitation or demand even when it wasn't either- so at some point in his life, he just stopped even thinking about it. What would make you different from them?

And what does he really have to lose, down the line?

You're Jimin's coworker. If you and Jungkook don't work out, there's no awkwardness really, to be fair. You'd just part ways, and that would be it, and since you're both clearly adults, nothing speaks against it.

"Shouldn't we.. maybe get to know each other more?" He wonders carefully, testing the waters. And your next words make him wonder if you could really truly be a new start for him.

"Why? It's only cuddling." You huff. "It's not like I wanna go to phase two just because you touch me." You joke.

And while he does smile at it, it's not a joke to him.

It's much more than that.

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"Heeh, whatcha cooking?" You ask, dipping underneath his arm to catch a glimpse at the pot he's stirring, making him instinctively reach out to pull you back so you don't look inside and hurt yourself.

"Ramen- but it's spicy, so you might not like it." He chuckles, remembering how you told him last night at a movie you watched together that you don't tolerate spicy things very well. Most buny hybrids dont- but he grew up with it, so maybe that's why he can stomach it very well.

The movie you watched yesterday had only been background noise to be honest, because you were rather occupied getting to know each other better, just like Jungkook had suggested. He now knows that you moved here after a bad relationship break up lead to you wanting a new fresh start somewhere else, while you learned that Jungkook used to work at an internet Cafe for a while until he could finally land a spot at Min Yoongis tattoo studio.

You've warmed up to each other quite quickly- and not just over shared life experiences and problems you'd laugh over together.

"But I'm hungry." You tell him, looking upwards at his face that's watching you as well. "Can I use your kitchen to make myself something?" You wonder, and he smiles, laughing.

"I can cook one extra. I have a mild chicken one in here- would you like that?" He asks, and you nod, reaching for it- though he's holding it too far away. "I said I'm making it." He jokingly scolds. "You go wait, it'll take maybe twenty minutes or so." He explains, though you just turn around and...

Hug him?

"Heeh, you're so warm!" You giggle, unable to really resist at least trying to hug him once- when a hand sets itself onto your back, holding you close while he continues cooking. He just smells so nice, and he is so nice in general that you just involuntarily get attached already.

You're a bunny hybrid after all. You crave affection, need attention.. and much more than that, but this part, you've learned to control. It throws people off how clingy and needy you are, it's something you learned the hard way- and you're hoping that you won't screw it up with Jungkook.

Cause you really like him already. Might go as far as to say you've got a terrible crush.

"Am I bothering you?" You ask meekly but he shakes his head, a surprised expression on his face.

"No, I'd tell you if you did." He answers, and at that, your eyes sparkle in wonder, head resting against his chest. Words like that mean the world to you- because thar means you won't just unknowingly make him uncomfortable until he gets rid of you. He'll tell you first, so you can change.

"Thank you." You simply say-

And he wonders what you must've experienced in the past to be so grateful of simple communication like that.

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"So, you're staying with Jungkook now?" Namjoon, a bear hybrid across from you asks- and you nod.

"Hmhm, he's really nice." You compliment, and Jungkook feels his cheeks start to get hotter at your praise. He's got a terrible problem and it's only four days in of you both knowing each other-

Because his body is clearly reacting to your scent being all over his apartment and all over him.

He can't help it, it's quite frankly embarrassing how often he has to shower and try and relieve himself somewhat quietly so you won't notice- ache in his body now worse than ever before, with you as a doe so close around him all the time. You're clearly in your prime, and so is he- bodies communicating that desire constantly without either of your control.

And unbeknownst to him, you're very aware of his dilemma. He's not exactly as quiet as he thinks he is.

In that department, you pride yourself in being a lot more secretive- he probably hasn't even noticed that you got yourself off right in your nest in the living room, because you, compared to him, can be quiet.

Well, but he knows. Because while you might not make much sound, your scent left on your bedding speaks louder than you could ever scream. And it's torture.

"So, you both?" Jimin raises his brows suggestively, making Jungkook shakes his head bashfully. "Heh, why not? You're already so cute together!" He whines, always so passionate about his best friend finally finding that special someone.

Namjoon sighs and scolds the younger friend, before he looks at you. "I'm sorry, he can be a bit too bold sometimes." He says, and you just wave it off.

"No its fine, I understand." You say, before going back to eating.

You're awfully quiet the rest of the night, seemingly rather low on energy. It's something Jungkook notices with slight worry, fearing you might be coming down with something- unaware that it's both your social batteries running low, and also the fact that, naturally, bunny hybrids tend to kind of shrink in on themselves if they're without affection for too long.

And for you, it's been a long time since someone cared for you in a more intimate way.

But he doesn't connect the dots yet, rather offers to go home with you a bit earlier, to get you into bed so you can rest properly.

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You're surprisingly visiting often and regularly, even after returning to your now renovated home.

You seek him out actively, ask often for his opinion on things or if he wants to hang out- and he's thriving, energy at an all time high. It's something that everyone at the tattoo shop notices too, constantly picking on the rabbit hybrid- but he couldn't care less.

Because last night, you told him you liked him. Like, liked him a lot. You got a crush on him.

And it makes him all giddy with excitement, causes him to whistle as he cleans up his workspace to finally go home and welcome you back to his apartment for some takeout and cuddles- because that's something that you do often as well.

It's like the only quality sleep he has these days is only when he sleeps together with you. And not even in a sexual sense whatsoever.

You gently turn him whenever he falls into a bad position during his sleep that makes him snore- instead of telling him that he's annoying and disrupting your rest. You cling onto him, you're nuzzling into his neck, you scent him- and he loves every second of it, soaks up your affectionate attention like a sponge.

You're just so cute, and perfect for him- he can't help but fall for you. And knowing that you did too- just makes it all feel like a fairytale come true.

Though, in his car, things don't go quite as.. tame as he expected it to.

Not that he complains.

You're on his lap in the driver's seat as he'd parked his car at an empty parking lot out of sight of the main road, clinging to him, kissing him just as eagerly as he does you. It's desperate, open mouths stealing each other's breath away, his teasing bites to your lip making you whimper. "Please-" you softly cry, looking at him with pleading eyes. "-I'm starving.!" You complain, and he laughs.

The moment you're both in the backseat of his car, he wastes no time- using the sweater and shirt he pulls off his upper body in one go to throw them against the door so your head is supported, before he leans down to kiss you again. He can't get enough, not of you, and not of this moment-

Because down the line, he's equally as touch-starved as you are.

There's no time nor need for words as his hands push beneath your clothes, exploring what he finds beneath with eager palms, skin warm to the touch. You're squirming in place, needy for more than he gives right now- and he decides that patience can go fuck itself, because he needs you.

The moment he unveils your lower body to his eyes is the moment he just knows he can't control himself, hand instantly reaching between your legs to play with you, get you ready. "How have you been like this, huh?" He chuckles, jokes, as you squirm and roll your hips into his hand. "Poor baby, suffering in silence when I'm right here." He breathes out, sensitive core so desperate you don't need much to come undone for the first time.

While you catch your breath, he uses that time to search for a condom in his car- finding one in his wallet, thankfully, before he covers his length that you're already reaching for.

"Next time." He reassures your disappointed face as you realize he's not gonna let you return the favor. "Right now I need you." He instead explains, before he guides the head of his cock through your folds, collecting your wetness before he finally pushes inside.

Your head is finally empty, no thoughts rushing any longer, the only thing on your mind the feeling of him filling you up.

You don't care if you're needy, or clingy, or too demanding- right now you want all he has to offer, as your legs wrap around him, pulling him closer.

And closer he gets, leaning down to capture your lips once more before his hips start to move.

The sounds you make must be nothing shy of pornographic, but you don't spare any mind to it- instead letting your eyes roll back as he picks up his pace, testing your limits to see what you need, and what you can take. And much to his personal pleasure, it seems like you're a perfect fit-

Not just in any other way already.

Your tail must be soaked in your slick at this point, ring of foamy white decorating the base of his length as he keeps up his rhythm, skin smacking against skin loudly in the small space of the car. Any bystander outside probably knows exactly what's going on-

And he couldn't care less.

An almost growling sound escapes him when he feels you clench in your upcoming orgasm, thighs trembling against his body as you cry out, white hot pleasure making you blind and deaf for a second, while his hips stutter, one final push all it takes for him to snap-

As he pulls out your soaked cunt, pulling the condom off to instead close your legs and bring himself to his finish that way, white strings of cum covering your naked front, even up to your shirt that he's pushed way up high to reveal your bouncing chest to his eyes.

He's breathing heavily together with you, as he notices the scene he finds himself in.

The windows of the car are all fogged up, and it's stuffy inside, smell of sex filling the entirety of the space, leather of the seats squeaking slightly as he adjusts his position. Your most recent experience of pleasure covers his thighs and seats, but he doesn't mind, he can only laugh to himself absolutely starstruck.

He's never experience something like this before.

He's never had any sexual encounter where he felt this satisfied after, no lingering appetite left for the moment, as he helps you out of your shirt to use it to wipe your body somewhat clean- his cum having stained the fabric already anyways.

The second he notices you shivering he helps you into a sitting position after cleaning you between your legs too- or at least drying your skin, before he wipes the seats. "I uh.." you mumble, staring at the mess you've made. "...that's new." You say, and he laughs, looking at you with eyes full of stars.

"I know." He answers, making you beam back with an equally love-filled gaze, shy laughter breaking the awkward aftermath of your first time.

And that's when he knew-

You're it for him.

For now and forever.

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"Jungkoooook~?" You sing, hanging somewhat upside down off his bed- when he walks into the bedroom, freshly showered.

"Whaaaaat~?" He parrots back in a similar tone, walking to the closet to get a shirt and pants.

"Do you love me?" You wonder, and he laughs, slipping the shirt over his head.

"Of course." He instantly answers without thinking.

"Do you really love me?" You ask, and he turns around now, looking at you with suspicion.

"...You're gonna ask me to drive you to that one specific place where they sell those giant milkshakes again, aren't you?" He accuses, and you giggle.

"I mean, do you reeeaaally love me?" You jokingly ask, and at that he squats down in front of you to kiss your upside-down lips with a smile.

"Of course I do." He answers. "So much so that I'll drive you there, even though you're gonna have a stomachache from all the food again."

"That was once!" You call out as he puts on his sweatpants having now sat up. "Or maybe twice.. okay if we count last Tuesday maybe three times but that-"

"Doesn't count, I know." He finishes his sentence for you, closing the closet before he leans his hands on the bed, lips catching yours to shut you up for a second.

But as he leans back to look at you, there's a new desire in your eyes.

"You know.. now that I think of it.." you mumble quietly, hands toying with the strings of his sweats. "I'm hungry for something else.." you bat your lashes at him, and he smirks at that, leaning his head to the side while he watches your lips.

"I wonder what that might be." He grins, licking his lips as you lean onto your back, his body now crawling over you.

"Guess you better find out." You tell him, hands already pulling down the hem of his pants slowly.

"Guess I have to." He shrugs, letting you undress him, trip to the far away diner long forgotten.

Because who needs to eat out when you've got the best dinner at home?

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[moonspirit]

Jealous aruani are fun and all, but...what if it's their friend that's the reason for the jealousy??? No love triangles.

Annie suddenly feels a twinge of irritation when she sees Pieck say something to Armin and they laugh together. Or maybe Armin overhears gossip about how Annie Leonhart and Connie Springer look so cute together. The next time he sees Connie, his stomach twists. And it's terrible!

Considering how Armin and Annie both have self-esteem issues...well, I can see how that could happen. Irritation, doubt, jealousy, and self-loathing for feeling that way about a friend. it's just painful, stupid and awkward. I have no idea how they will solve this😗

Hello jealousy anon! As promised, and thank you for the ask, it made me laugh xD

Because of-fucking-course there's nobody more capable of causing problems for Aruani off more than their very own family xD If you ask me, outsiders don't have the type of talent the other four have in creating misunderstandings and unnecessary chaos xD Plot-required-3rd-party-love-interest who? Move over, here's Connie the Springer man!

At first it's all quite unintentional. Connie spends time with Annie because Circumstances and Coincidence and hardly notices Armin's watery puppy eyes gazing at him from a depressing corner. It's not like Armin ever says anything out loud either because of course, he's happy! He's happy Annie has a silly friend that makes her laugh and forget that she's awkward and possibly frightening around people. He's glad Connie comes prepackaged with a whole lot of shitty jokes that happen to tickle her. He's really fucking glad Connie treats Annie like he treats everyone else!

But. Connie can also... dance. Really well. Like the guy's got those moves and can easily take Annie for a nice spin. He also... makes her laugh, like... a lot? A lot lot? Hm.. has Annie ever laughed like that with me? Uh... yeah, nevermind that, um- oh god, Connie's been looking pretty nice lately in those suits and he's rather good with the whole easy-fashion thing and uh- well shit, it's Connie, he's my friend, he's not- no, I mean, that photo in the newspapers was just an accidental shot, of course Annie was just laughing at his bad joke but well... she did look really happy with him and, oh shit--

Man.

Pieck on the other hand, doesn't fuck with people more than necessary. I don't actually see her getting *too* close with Armin but they do become very good friends! They have a lot in common, (for example music) and vibrate on the same atomic level of "yeah this is wrong and backhanded and probably will get us arrested in 18 countries but lets do it hehe". Hc that they probably get off to a slightly rocky start as Pieck doesn't put much faith in Armin's "naivete" and harbours resentment for his blowing up of Liberio's port, but as time goes by, they grow closer!

Maybe... too much closer for someone's liking 💀

Because okay? Annie gets it, she finds politics too boring and her takes end up being too cynical and skeptical in the room. Technically, she's glad Armin has someone in Pieck who will humour his ideas with a generous (but nice) dash of realism. Also, they enjoy picking out records together and she often finds them nodding their heads to a new tune once home.

She's glad, okay?

She is, she really is-

*sound of a thigh being stabbed followed by sounds of Reiner screaming*

Pieck is a cheerful girl tho 🥲

On a serious note, both Aruani are going to feel like total crap about this jealousy tho. Because as you said, it's their friends, their literal family who they share a lot of time and space with, and if anything could be clear it's that none of them want to see Aruani unhappy. So its not real, it's not anything to worry about, it's all just in their heads-

And yet.

Tbh the extra funny bit about this is gonna be when Connie and Pieck realize what they're doing to their poor lemonheads xD

"What! We're making you jealous?! wHAaT?? ... Hell YEAH, LET'S TURN IT UP!"

🥲🥲🥲🥲

I mean what else did you expect lol, Pieck and Connie are that duo who are going to derive more entertainment from their very own organic, homegrown family-drama than the moving pictures being shown in the town-square.

Suddenly it's all: "HEHE Armin, I bought Annie CAKES, see? FIVE Cakes! FiVE delICIOUS cakes and *I* am going to give it to her! Me!"

and: "Annniieeeeeeee~~ Oh no, why the long face this morning? Btw did you know Armin wants kids? Like a lot of kids? He told me- oh, he didn't tell you? Hehe I thought you'd be the first to know hehehehehe"

Their approaches to fanning this dumpster fire are different 😌

Their solution when things get too Sad?? Lock Aruani up in a room. Always ends well.

[kerorowhump]

i watched ep 226 and i have some thoughts about it...

keroro being suspected for something he didn't do is often par for the course, and granted it's both because of his status as an invader and for his tendency to actually cause trouble

[pictured: some examples off the top of my head of - mostly natsumi - assuming the worst from him]

but this episode to me is fascinating because of what else it brings up in relation to it. remember red oni blue oni? keroro's conflict about... on one side, keron, on the other, pekopon... about being seen as both the villain and the hero, so his position isn't threatened, while trying not to lose his friends on both sides. he doesn't actually want to be an invader, but it's tied to a lot of shit like his self esteem and... well, stuff I talked about in the past.

I think at least subconsciously he is afraid that his precarious position may blow up in his face eventually, and that is why he's jealous of everything that threatens it by being similar enough to him/receiving enough praise that he feels he might get replaced by it. he needs his position to be exclusive, because if it isn't, he doesn't have any merits for it ("leaders don't really do anything..." "I coasted along" "what makes me great?"). it feels like this is not just a random insecurity from lack of self esteem or fear from his unstable situation on its own (as an invader/"freeloader", feeling guilty for living in their house and causing them trouble) either, but ALSO projection from the fact that canonically yeah, he IS replaceable - that is a real constant threat for him. the clones? what makes him special?

[funny how many meetings keroro does where he's actually just venting lmao, he's got his priorities all out of whack ... or rather his feelings don't matter if they can't somehow be integrated into a mission?]

[pictured: the aformentioned projection dearimasu]

[keroro processing his feelings alone like he always does. loneliness and being misunderstood r such key parts of his character.]

But I think a similar emotion is true from Fuyuki's side, who's always been a bit lonely and overshadowed, so he'd be afraid of his trust being betrayed... but nevermind that, I like seeing keroro's situation specifically explored, because...

he knows he didn't do anything wrong, but his relationship with fuyuki means more than ego. he's willing to set it aside, and besides... it's easier with the guilt he already feels due to his situation, to apologize, because fuyuki means more to him than being right... his friends mean a lot to keroro, that's why relationship trouble with them so easily throws his emotions off balance. why he has to resort to everything else (denial, acting out, projection of guilt, people-pleasing, hiding how he feels, selfishness, etc), but with fuyuki in particular, I think it feels like the one relationship he hasn't messed up yet. honestly that person who said he's a dororo parallel was SO onto something...

they both love each other, but they're not infallible, so they'll let each other down, they'll misunderstand, they'll let their own feelings and fears and past experiences get in the way. they're not technically on the same side, after all

[the field trip misunderstanding... or you could say, keroro assumed earth is like keron? that they're two sides at war?]

but at the end of the day they still love each other, they are healing for each other and for what it's worth, they saved each other...

but that's the thing to me is that, by merely existing in his life, I think keroro feels like he's being a weight to him. that he's doing something wrong, that it's selfish of him to want to stay. that he has to earn it and yes, that he's not needed (AKA REPLACEABLE...).

trust is something that has to be built in a friendship but... due to keroro's situation... he can never fully prove himself one way or another (it would mean treason...) and in this ep I see the tragedy of that. fuyuki loves him, and generally trusts him, but it's not like keroro hasn't broken his trust in the past or gone too far, it's not like his planet and plans aren't still a danger for them, no matter how he feels about it...

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

All Aces Are Valid Even The Heteroromantic Ones (2024)

------------

[Note: Don't Reblog This Without My Permission…also you might need to click on this drawing of flags, to get a better view of it.]

the flag that is a mix of Aroace, with Fictoromantic with a white butterfly and a symbol that has to do with my viewing Earth as Eartheia now, being a mix of Proto-Earth and the Planet Theia mixed together…the diamond in it is suppose to be about Panplatonic.

like a diamond can be used for those who want to place the Transgender Flag colors into the same flag that may show they are Ace but are also having one or more hearts that can show their romantic identities but it could also be used for the queerplatonic.

like some people can be Heteroromantic but also Panplatonic… the whole white butterfly and eartheia symbol that is based off of mixing together one of Earth's other symbols as well as a symbol that has to do with the Goddess, but you might need to look very carefully to see it…also I'm not 100% sure how many people are both Aromantic and Demisexual.

but some who are Demisexual could turn out to be Biromantic, Panromantic or even Heteroromantic.

and well I guess the white butterfly could symbolize like one's spiritual belief and metamorphosis and the white butterfly does have some meanings that I really don't feel like getting into right now.

I'm not sure if I am Panplatonic, but I know besides being Gray-Aroace and Fictoromantic, I do view my being Heteroromantic as my Micro-Romantic Identity and I don't need to to make full sense about those parts of myself that some might not fully understand...I was even weird even before being born, cause when my Mom was pregnant with me, she NEVER got Morning Sickness...she would only get Evening Sickness with me...

which once again, my calling myself "The Eveningstar Princess" as a self-nickname, was way before I found out that Archangel Michael is also called "The Evening Star"...and there still some freaky coincidences that has to do with him, besides the whole "Eveningstar" thing...and well I can think of other stuff I was told about that happen when my Mom was still pregnant with me and her still getting Evening Sickness with me...that can prove how weird I was even before I ended up being born.

some babies even before and after they are born, will be weird...

I was one of those babies...but according to my family, while being a newborn I was the same size as a 2 week old...which if the Watcher Angels being the parents of the Nephilim, and some of them being my and other people's possible ancestors, not really our choice...

but I could be wrong about my being the size of a 2 week old when I was a newborn, has to do with genetics from some ancestors...

I was a surprise of course, any baby would be a surprise.

so yeah, not everyone has to understand my weirdness, I was always weird even before I was born, and not everyone has to understand me fully when my weird side comes out at times.

also the whole "RH Negative Blood Types" can't be saved because they are descendants of the Nephilim, that is Bull Slag...

I'm O RH D Negative, so very sorry if I'm viewed as the same way by some Toxic-Religious people...they are going to be part of the reason, why I rather go live with Mother, and by Mother, I mean The Earthly-Mother Goddess...even if I can still believe in the Heavenly-Father as well...

anyway I think it is possible that the Planet Proto-Earth and the Planet Theia would technically be called "Eartheia" but not everyone has to agree with me on that...

and anyway please make sure not to reblog this without my permission, and well everything will be okay...

and well I do make sure to give the heads up about it, just in case and making sure the tag is seen at the top as well, so there will be no misunderstandings or mistakes and well, anyway at least I am trying to make sure to give the heads up about it to make sure the that if those that don't see the tag for it right away, will know about it in advance...

anyway hope some of you like this, and it's okay that not everyone gets the whole one flag that has the white butterfly and what I'm calling the "Eartheia Symbol" on it...

[rosesvioletshardy]

we keep each other grounded - nolan patrick

okay so this is the first time i’m writing for nolan and the first time i’m writing in a while so i’m sorry if it’s really bad 

i tried my best to remember what happened in the first two game against the capitals so if i got anything wrong i’m sorry you have the right to yell at me

masterlist

warnings: fluff, suggested nsfw ??, none

# of words: 1,514 

--

home games had to be some of Nolan’s favorites because it didn’t involve that much travel but they often did mess with him knowing he’ll have to do better than usual. The past couple of mornings he’s been getting up earlier than his usual time to go out for runs and practice more before he left for practice with the guys. You started to notice how much quieter he got whenever home games happened and it was the first one that’ll have fans in Wells Fargo center which meant that he and the rest of the team would need to do a lot better than they were already doing. You knew that it wasn’t their fault with what was happening and they were trying their hardest. 

After the first game against the Capitals, Nolan had thought it was just the nerves that came from having fans in the arena again and being back in Philly that made them lose. Then the game against the Sabres boosted up their confidence a little more, especially after his shootout winning goal. They had another game against the Capitals again and he was for sure about bringing his A-game the night. Now, he was in your guys bedroom getting ready for the night and trying to calm his nerves that were getting to the best of him. He was fumbling with his tie knowing that he has trouble but tonight was bothering him even more and making it worse. You watched as he grunted in frustration and undid it before redoing it as you watched him. Nolan carefully started over again, mumbling to himself the instructions and words of encouragement, trying to calm himself down.

“You’re doing it wrong” you tell him as you walk over to him and take the tie from his hands. 

“I’m sorry, just nervous again i guess”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay to feel like this, it’s normal. You know it’s okay for you to express your feelings, even if you can’t put it in the right words sometimes, your body language says it all too.” you remind him giving him a small smile, fixing his collar as he gives a small smile

“Yeah, I know. It’s just there’s a lot of pressure that’s being put on us and we don't want another repeat of what happened.”

“You guys will do great, I promise. Now you better leave or you’ll be late. Remember, take deep breaths, talk to each other, or send signals, and good things will come.” you finished holding his hands before giving him a kiss. When you pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other and he held you in his arms before giving you one more kiss

“I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you, and we keep each other steady. Good luck. I’ll be cheering you on” you tell him as you look down and point to your jersey with his name and number when he can’t help but smile big as the both of you left and headed towards the front door

“Thanks, i’ll see you later tonight.”

“Hey, remember: win or lose, i still love you.” you reminded him as he exited giving a small smile and mumbled it back

----

The entire game had you on the edge of your seat. As soon as you thought they were going to score, it ended up being blocked. You could tell that they were trying and wanted to win this game against the Capitals seeing that the last two times didn’t go so well. Sitting on the couch, you nervously watch the second period as JVR got them their first goal of the night. This boosted their confidence but you didn’t want to get your hopes up too quickly incase something ended up getting jinxed

“Okay, relax Y/N, relax. They still have some time left in this period and third period to catch up to them” you had to remind yourself constantly. 

At this point you were sure that you didn’t have any nails left due to the two shots the caps managed to get in such little time after they scored. It wasn’t until a couple of minutes later Nolan scored making you jump and start screaming, hoping the neighbors didn’t call the cops. Grabbing your phone, you quickly texted him a huge congrats even though he wouldn't be able to see it until after the game was over. 

The rest of the game consisted of you yelling at the tv hoping that the guys would get more goals but they ended up losing 5-4. You knew Nolan would be disappointed but he knew he had to keep a straight face throughout any interviews he had to do afterwards. When he read your text, it put a smile on his face seeing how proud you were of him and how much he deserved it.

“Oh, what is little baby cat smiling about?” hayes asked as he saw him smiling big at his phone

“It’s Y/N isn’t it? Was it about your goal?” Travis asked trying to sneak a peak over Nolan’s shoulder causing him to move and turn even more red

“Yes it was about my goal, no not like that by the way. I know what you’re thinking.” he shot back

“Wasn’t thinking about it. But seriously what did she say” travis asked 

“Just how proud she is of he” kevin answered as he looked over nolan’s shoulder

“Oh boys Patty here is whipped” they joked as everyone laughed and Nolan smiled. He didn’t mind being whipped seeing how much he loves and trusts you

“Not like you guys aren’t with your wives and girlfriends. But I don't know, we just feel safe with each other and always bring out the good in each other. I mean, I’m not saying we’re perfect either, we have fights too, but we just keep each other grounded and we’re there for each other even if we don’t want to be at the moment.” Nolan said, smiling and turning red just at the thought of talking about you. 

Yeah he didn’t like talking about his personal life, especially his dating one, but he felt comfortable enough to tell his friends how he feels about and around you. They all looked at him with big smiles as he looked at them with a concerned look but shook it off because he knew that wouldn’t be the only time they’d see him like that.

After getting dressed and finishing a couple of interviews, all he wanted to do was just go back to your apartment and hold you. The entire car ride home he kept drumming his fingers against the steering wheel waiting until the moment he can just relax with you and the dogs. You were doing the same, waiting for him to come home and just let him let out everything he’s feeling about the game and let him rant about things he would never tell anyone else, just let out all his frustration on whether it was the whole game in general or how he played.

 Hearing the door click, you jumped off the couch and went over to where he was and all he could do after dropping his stuff off at the door was hug you. You knew that even though they ended the game behind one point, you were still proud about it seeing how the other games went

“Hey” he said softly kissing you on the head

“Hey, you guys did good tonight and I'm proud of the goal you made. I think I may have scared our neighbors again with it since the game with the sabres.” you tell him, causing him to laugh, picturing the scenario of you having to explain to your neighbors that it was a misunderstanding.

“Thanks, I just think I could’ve done better-”

“Nols, stop. You did your best and I’m proud of you for it. You all tried your best and you did it. Maybe that green jersey brought you some luck and it helped.”

“Well, technically it was all because of you and your words”

“Oh please-”

“No i’m not kidding. Just you supporting me in general and helping me through everything when it comes to helping me through my migraines or in general, you’re always there for me even when I’m in another city playing. It’s because of you.” he whispered the last part causing you to blush

“I mean it. I mean you deal with everything that’s happened and help me calm down when I get into fights and get sent to the locker room. I’m glad you’re in my life and if it weren't for you I know I would’ve beaten myself up about this game” he finished. Staring into his eyes, you gave him a small smile before giving him a kiss 

“C’mon, you need to relax now and get your mind off the game. Especially after that goal you made.” you told him taking his hand and heading towards your bedroom

[redxblueihateloveyou]

A clip of haru and rin popped up on my youtube feed, it was the -haru gets angry- scene of eternal summer (another heated rinharu argument, I couldn't say no XD) and while I was rewatching it, idk why but when haru said "I swim for myself and for my friends" and rin replied "then swim for those friends, and for your own sake!" the expression rin made made me feel like he didn't even consider himself haru's friend or close friend, but still encouraged him to find a dream for haru himself because that's the only way they can swim together again

Haha I can't say no to all the rinharu scenes lol

Idk, I watched it a bit differently. It's definitely not the fact that he didn't consider himself Haru's friend, it's just the fact that Rin thought that he wasn't gonna be enough to make Haru's future a happy one after all the points Haru made in his yelling about 'why he swims'.

It was before the time they confessed that for them both the best team is the one when they're together. So when Haru started with his "I don't swim for this assholes to stare at me and for the records or smth" you can see Rin starting to putting it all together, he was like "okay, what for then?" and Haru goes "I swim for myself and my friends", it's like... Rin knows Nagisa, Makoto and Rei won't go for the national team xD, he can't give him that, and he certainly doesn't have enough self-esteem to think that he alone is enough to inspire him to move forward, when everyone else is not there anymore, he also doesn't know yet, that for Haru being on one team with Rin makes it apriori the best team, nevermind who are the other two aparently, bc they weren't at the point of their relationship yet to admit that at this point, cause hey, insecurity, hey.

Just loving swimming is not enough to make someone want to turn it into profession, just bc it can potentially make you hate it later on. If he doesn't want medals, glory, fame and achievements doesn't excite him, then it's even more complicated. "For friends" is also not an option, bc you can't form a national team yourself. So of course Rin was a bit lost there. Because he didn't really know what to offer him. He couldn't quite go and say "And if it's only me?"

Utsumi said about this scene that for Haru it was the moment he could finally let go and yell his true feelings out, just bc it was Rin (awwww), but for Rin it was the moment he started to think just about what Haru himself really wanted, for the first time hearing his real feelings out loud. Thinking that he should shove his own wishes away to help Haru find himself.

Basically as we know Rin automatically assumed that Haru will go with him "to the world" since like 13, bc he wanted to be with him, so from his own point of view since he didn't know about Haru wanting the same thing, it looks like all this time he pushed him into that (I guess u can say selfishly) bc he finds it hard to "go on without him".

So what Rin was going through during Haru's outburst was partially self-loathing, bc it was the moment that he realized that he put his selfish wish to be with him over Haru's own wishes (which was also to be with him, but that's well.. they love their misunderstandings) and didn't even know what was on his mind all this time.

But then he was also hurt, bc that was also a moment that he realized that there was in fact a possibility that his and Haru's dream might just not be the same one, and that's why "what dream? what future? it's only you who cares about that!" was so painful.

So like... true about the fact that he just wanted to help him, even if it meant things won't work out the way he wanted, that's why he phrased it like that in his talk with Sousuke in Yakusoku like "I'll just show him how it can be" but if he doesn't want this (me), that's okay. and that's what he said in Australia, too, when Haru turned to him already after realizing that he can have that with Rin, Rin said "we can just try it out, that's all" and if you don't like it, then fuck this and that was when Haru stopped feeling pressured and feeling like a circus monkey.

And that's why I find Rin's behavior during Australian trip twice as sweet, bc I don't know how dude was even holding on there, I'm guessing it was extremely hard for him to shove it all away and don't accidentely say smth that will make Haru feel like he owns him smth, you know. That's why he always stopped himself after "I've always admired you" for example, he goes "ahh no, can't do that", but then he slips in bed again. He like tried to tell him without this sounding obligatory like when Sousuke went "well, if you quit, he quits, haven't you thought about that?" making Haru feel quilty. Rin went like I won't lie, without you it's hard for me, but it's just bc you're so amazing and you make me feel like I can do anything, but the question he ends his speech with is whether he makes Haru feel the same way or not?

Rin's just the person who always always just GOES for the thing he wants and loves, so it was clear that he was like "I can't let you go, I just can't let you go, I'm sorry. but it also kills me to see you that way, so please please say you want this with me too". That's why it was so AAAAAA cause it's like technically both of their futures were on the line there, so the way he was holding on so well and made this about Haru is just really sweet. He was like we can travel the world together, watch oceans and fountains and fishies, eat mackerel sandwiches, swim together, be together, do illegal stuff together, I won't let the system imprison you, spread your wings, babe xD He was like really considerate, but also fought for their happiness, so it's like two for two for me.

But yeah, 2x09.. I fucking love that scene, bc of reasons, but also I always get extemely angry, too, bc I'm like.. I hate when they leave half of the stuff unspoken and then their insecurities like add some absolute bullshit to the blank spaces and it all leads to me facepalming, bc I'm like... I know what one wants and the other wants and they want the same thing, but they think they don't and just... kill me pls lmao

Anyways, I'm so glad this is finally over and we won't have to go throught his ever again. Fucking finally, now just confess that you don't just want to be in one bed with him, but to fuck him too and we're ok xD

[juniorgman187]

Never Enough (Spencer Reid Drabble)

Summary: Ever wondered what Garcia wrote on that sticky note in the series finale? Read here to find out. When Reader, the new technical analyst, feels out of place at a party, Penelope’s sticky note and Reid’s kind words do just the trick.

A/N: This is a comfort piece for me, someone very introverted who never seems to do well in social gatherings. So this is dedicated to anyone who’s ever felt like they didn’t belong. You are loved. Couple: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Fluff, Drabble Content Warning: Fear of exclusion, loneliness Word Count: 2.4k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

All my life, all I’d ever wanted was to be a social butterfly. Their lives seemed so easy. People would naturally flock to them, what with their charisma, their confidence, their natural gift of being conversational.

I envied them for the sole reason that I was nothing like them, not in the slightest.

It wasn’t easy for me to keep a conversation going, even if I was trying my very hardest, which was often the case. I could never seem to commandeer the room in the way that someone extroverted could, and it was especially hard sometimes to feel a part of everyone.

It would be too easy to say I was invisible. Instead, I felt painfully visible, and entirely ignored.

Everyone could see my shyness peeking through, everyone could see how alienated I’d become, everyone could see my despondence, and yet no one bothered to change it.

No one cared.

My excruciating awkwardness had reached an all-time high at Krystall’s birthday party.

Agent Rossi was so keen on inviting me, and I was honored to go since it’d be my first bonding experience with the team outside of work. I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to grow closer to them, otherwise, I’d run the risk of isolating myself even more. As if being brought in as the BAU’s new technical analyst to replace Penelope Garcia wasn’t enough of a reason for them to doubt, despise, and disrespect me, I was the introvert who had a hard time making friends - unlike my predecessor, who’ve I heard could make friends like nobody’s business. I knew I could never fill her shoes, much less fill the glaring void she created when she left, but still, I maintained my bright-eyes in hopes that I’d be enough for them, anyway. I was all too eager to get to know everyone as more than just my coworkers, with one exception.

Dr. Reid maintained an arm’s length distance from me at all times, and at first, I understood. I even empathized with him.

Besides SSA Morgan and SSA Hotchner, the only other person that he’d work the longest with was Penelope, and now she was gone, too, but the longer his rejection of me lasted, the more I was curious what he truly had against me, and the more I was less interested in changing that. Why would I work tirelessly at mending this broken friendship, if he wasn’t willing to meet me halfway?

I was more shocked that he, of all people, would be the most displeased with my arrival. When Agent Rossi replaced Agent Gideon, from what I heard, the transition wasn’t as rocky as mine. Dr. Reid was overjoyed to be working with him and to discuss all his books. When Jordan Todd, and eventually Ashley Seaver, took Agent Jareau’s place momentarily, he was happy to be working with them. When Alex Blake and Kate Callahan came in after Emily Prentiss, he welcomed them with open arms. So what was it about me that was so abhorrent to him?

I never outright asked, mainly because I feared confrontation and I also had no way of knowing if my curiosity would make the situation worse or better. But I should’ve. I should’ve marched right up to him and asked, “What’s your problem?”

Somehow, though, I finally got up the courage to do so tonight.

I watched as the team laughed at one of Rossi’s anecdotes, meanwhile, the inside jokes flew over my head, hindering that bonding experience I was so sure I’d get by coming here. So I stepped inside the house, wandering into a spare room, knowing I wouldn’t be missed.

I thought I’d only be there for a moment to get some “fresh air” even though I’d actually migrated from the outside to the inside, where there’d arguably be less fresh air, but that’d be my excuse if anyone came in. But I was forced to stay longer in the office when it finally happened.

I finally reached my breaking point.

It was building up all night. It started when I first stepped into the house. My confidence faltered almost immediately when I accidentally stepped on Rossi’s Italian leather dress shoe as I went to greet him. He told me not to worry, but of course, I did just the opposite. It was a minor bump in the road, something so minute, but still, it weighed on me thinking about how embarrassing it was that I dirtied something of his that everyone recognized as valuable.

My shame didn’t stop there. As I was talking with Krystall, there were many periods of awkward silence that I couldn’t manage to fill with words, so we each sipped at our wine until one of us would try to pick up the conversation. What’s worse was that we each knew the silence was suffocating, and I could tell we were both thinking of things to say to keep the conversation going, and yet, nothing worth saying came to mind.

And worst of all was when Penelope Garcia finally arrived at the party. Don’t misunderstand me - it wasn’t the worst part of all because she was bad - no, she was lovely. She gave me a welcome present - a Beanie Baby to put on my desk, evocative of her own style of decor, and I loved her for it, which made me hate her all the more.

Rossi’s house livened up when she came. Everyone flocked to greet her, laughter erupted and ricocheted off Rossi’s high ceilings. They were positively elated by her presence, truly happy. Which was the first time I’d ever seen them that way because frankly, they were never that happy with me.

It was a painful reminder that I could never bring what she brought to the team, and I could never be as good as her. And the general consensus I reached, sitting in Rossi’s office all alone with my glass of wine, was the same one I’d known for years now - I’m not enough.

And I will never be enough.

I hadn’t realized I was crying until a tear cascaded down my cheek, dripping right under my nose, forcing me to audibly sniffle it away. Using the sleeve of my cardigan, I desperately tried to wipe away the tears faster than they were spilling out, but it just wasn’t possible. In fact, the coarse fabric of my cardigan rubbing against my cheeks only made them redder, making the fact that I was unwell that much more obvious.

The sound of the doorknob turning sent me into overdrive, automatically engaging me into turning around and facing the wall so that whoever was coming in wouldn’t find me in the state that I was in. I sniffled a great big sniffle and fanned my face to dry it of any moisture that my silent sobs could’ve left.

“Sorry, Rossi, I was just getting some fresh air and I thought I’d check out your book collectio-”

When I turned around, Rossi wasn’t standing there as I’d assumed.

In fact, the person standing there was the last person I thought it’d be.

“Dr. Reid?”

He was lingering in the doorway, studying my face, to which I instantly preventing from continuing on any further by cowering my head and looking away.

“What are you doing here?” My voice had taken a tone of anger that I didn’t anticipate to be there originally.

“Are you okay?”

To my surprise, his question seemed sincere, but I couldn’t truly believe it was.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just allergies from being outside for so long. The pollen and stuff, you know?” I rambled nervously.

“Oh, really? Are you allergic to the grass?” He asked in a joking manner, knowing I was lying but still asking so that he’d have the satisfaction of getting to see me try and work my way out of the situation.

“Yes, I am actually. The most common outdoor allergy triggers are trees, grass, weed pollen, mold spores, dust mites, cockroaches, and cat, dog, and rodent dander. Don’t you know this? After all, you’re the one with the IQ of 187 here, not me.” I tried to joke to lighten up the room’s heaviness, but clearly, it didn’t work.

By this time, I’d already turned back to face the wall, so Reid surely couldn’t see me, but I heard the door click shut behind me, and a wave of anxiety permeated my soul.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

I scoffed at his question, almost hitting him back with an “As if you care.” But I decided against it in an effort to preserve what little repose we had left between us.

“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” He sounded like he was begging - like he was practically willing to go on his hands and knees to get me to answer, but all I could focus on was the feeling of his hot breath ghosting over my neck.

Goosebumps rose on my skins once he put his warm hand on my cold shoulder, which was bare from the absence of my cardigan and where it had slipped down to my elbow.

I flinched at the sensation, causing him to recoil.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He quickly apologized, regret filling his eyes. “Um, you look nice by the way. I like the way you did your hair. A-and your dress. It looks nice.”

Not even giving a chance to respond to his compliment, I asked again, “Why are you here?” Pressing him to get the point faster before I had a chance to react at another one of his physical advances.

“I saw you leave the backyard and I thought I should check on you.”

“Well, you’ve checked on me, so you can go back now.” I didn’t miss a beat when responding, fooling him into thinking that I didn’t catch his words and their intentions.

“I just want to talk.” He replied, finally answering my question from before.

“Okay. Let’s talk.”

He took a seat on a chaise lounge sofa while I stayed standing by the bookcase in preparation for a quick escape if need be.

“I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away. That wasn’t fair of me.”

Although I hadn’t expected him to apologize, I wasn’t going to be misled and naively accept his apology with no reservations.

“Why did you do it? And for so long?”

“I was angry. I didn’t want another person in my life that I cared about to walk away, so I thought maybe if I made you feel unwelcome, you wouldn’t want to stay. And she’d come back.”

It hurt to say, but at least I knew he was being honest.

“I accept your apology, but it’s not okay.”

“I know that.”

“Okay, are we good now? We’ve talked, so,” My hand gestured toward the door, suggesting he should leave, but he didn’t comply.

“I’m not leaving.”

“And why not?” The wine glass in my hand nearly shattered at the way my hand wrapped around it since its presence hindered me from being able to actually clench my fists.

“I didn’t come here to apologize, even though I should’ve sooner. But I came here because I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Like you care.” I chuckled mirthlessly.

“I do care.”

I gave in, not wanting to fight him any longer, otherwise, I might cry some more from the altercation.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” He shook his head. “I know you’re not fine. What’s really wrong, Y/N?”

I looked away immediately from his gaze, trying to hide the sheen that was inevitably coating my eyes from the presence of tears, but he would’ve known I was crying the minute I used the cuff of my cardigan to wipe under my nose again.

“I just . . . I feel so unconnected,” I whispered, the pain of my words stealing my volume. “I don’t fit in. And I’ve never fit in before, but I actually thought this might be my chance.”

“It still is. Just come back outside.”

“You don’t get it!”

“What don’t I get?”

“I just needed to take a moment to compose myself so I wouldn’t ruin the energy of the room. And I’d really like to do that alone, okay?”

“I know you don’t want me to go.”

“What?”

“You’re testing me to see if I’ll stay.”

“No, I’m not.”

“So you’re saying that if I left right now, you wouldn’t regret letting me walk away?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“I know you’re lying to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are. I know what it looks like when you lie. Wanna know how I know?”

I entertained his question out of pure frustration “How?”

“Because I pay attention to you. I see your mannerisms. I notice everything. Do you think I haven’t picked up on how you crack your knuckles when you’re nervous? Or how your stutter goes away when you talk about technology? Or how your fists clench, like how you’re doing right now?”

My eyes flickered to my fist that was wrapped so tightly around the glass, my knuckles were white. Out of shame, I loosened my grip.

“I pay attention because I care. And I’m sorry that I made you ever believe that I didn’t. What you do, and say, and think - it’s important. So no, I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here to give you the attention you deserve.” He sighed with a breath of relief. “I care more about you than whatever’s happening out there.”

And slowly, then all at once, that barrier between us broke down.

“I care about you. We all do. And when you’re ready, we can walk back out there together so that you can see for yourself just how much we care.”

. . . That night, I made nine more friends.

And the day we came back to work, with my Beanie Baby in hand, I rearranged my desk.

A folded up sticky note fell out from between two tables. I picked it up, recognizing the handwriting instantly.

Penelope Garcia.

Even when the laughter always seems to come from the other room and the world seems busy as it carries on without you, may you know this to be true. No matter who or what made you feel invisible, unworthy, unloved, or unseen, in this ever-moving world, there is still a place for you. And you are exactly in the place where you are meant to be.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

quote by morgan harper nichols

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I’ll Write This Scene a Thousand Times - Ch2

AO3 || Chapter 1

Ship: Moceit (Janus/Patton)

Warnings: Arguing, smoking mention character outed before they're ready.

Summary: Patton and Janus get into an argument. Feelings are hurt, and then they are shared.

Taglist: Technically, I don't have one yet, but I'm tagging some people from the first chapter who seemed interested in reading more. If you want to be added or removed, send me an ask or message.

@iclaimedtobethebetterbard @princess-rosie @symphony-soldier-29 @stardustsides @ent-is-undecisive @roka-logical-lies @ifyouhadntbutyoudid @3-has-charm @moceit

...

“Come on, try to be more cute!”

His new pretend paramour was turning out to be quite the demanding director. Janus pursed his lips, leaning idly against Patton’s incredible cozy couch cushions as he watched him tilt his phone this way and that, trying to find the most natural angle for a staged relationship announcement.

“You wound me, Patton,” he deadpanned, “I was under the impression you already found me rather cute.” Patton glared - no, that was the wrong word. Something incredibly intrinsic in the nature of Patton didn’t quite allow him to ‘glare’. Patton pouted at him in the selfie camera, freckled cheeks puffing out in frustration.

Clearly, he didn’t have much trouble with that particular direction, Janus mused.

“Why can’t you just smile?”

“I am smiling.”

“You’re smirking!”

“Same thing.”

Patton made a very petulant noise indeed, “This needs to be believable!”

“You’re mistaken if you think anything where I’m-” he shuddered, “-smiling, will be remotely believable.”

Then he caught a look at Patton’s face. As funny as it was to wind him up, Janus wasn’t sure he wanted to see him actually crack today.

“Alright, look, why don’t you come closer?” he coaxed, shifting slightly and encouraging Patton to lean against him, draping his arm around his shoulder

“There you go, how sickeningly adorable are we?”

Within the frame of the selfie, they were adorable. Patton’s honey brown curls and fluffy white sweater were the perfect contrast against his fitted black button down - ofcourse, he already knew that, they’d chosen their outfits ahead of time. To anybody who couldn’t feel the stiffness in Patton’s shoulders, they probably looked like the perfect couple.

“Okay… you ready?”

Just as the countdown ticked to one, Janus turned his head and pressed a quick kiss against Patton’s cheek.

The camera clicked.

Patton whipped around to face him immediately after, cheeks darkening, “You - I didn’t know you were going to do that!”

Janus grinned, reaching for his wrist.

“And this is exactly why,” he replied in a voice not entirely devoid of smugness. The picture had been caught before Patton had had the chance to react, still smiling widely as Janus leaned over to kiss him, “You’re welcome.”

Patton blushed harder, spluttering slightly and quickly prying his wrist out of Janus’ grip, scooting back as far as the couch would allow. Janus let him go, following the embarrassed motion with his eyes.

Once he was at what he apparently deemed a safe distance away, Patton mumbled, “It is quite a good picture, actually. Better than any of the others we’ve taken today, anyway.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said it was quite good, actually-”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t quite catch you saying that, would you mind -”

“Oh stop it!” the corner’s of Patton’s mouth twitched in what Janus chose to interpret as a smile.

He rose to his feet, feeling rather good about himself, “Well, now I suppose you can send that along to Logan for approval and we can be done here then? Er - not that this hasn’t been fun, or whatever.” he amended hastily. Nailed it.

“Oh, um - actually…”

Janus groaned, “I swear to God if you tell me we have to take another set of photos, ‘just in case’-”

“It’s not that,” Patton said quickly, “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Well, you’d better make it quick,” Janus drawled, “I do have actual engagements outside of this, you know.”

The words came out in a moment of pettiness and he regretted them almost immediately, partly because they weren’t remotely true - unless mooching around at his home counted as an ‘outside engagement’.

But as he said them, Patton deflated, his eyes downcast, his mouth drawing in to form a silent, plaintive ‘oh’.

“That’s okay!” he covered up quickly, as if he thought Janus hadn’t noticed his disappointment, “It was silly anyway, you don’t have to-”

“No no no, it’s quite okay,” Janus interjected hastily, “I can always take out the time for you, dear.”

Right, yes, flirt Janus. I’m sure that’ll somehow not make you the asshole here.

Patton gave him a wan smile. He gestured for Janus to sit, and he did, careful to leave space between them now that the camera had been put away. He watched Patton fidget for a few minutes as he tried to find the words he wanted to say.

“-So the night we… well, met, so to speak,”

Ah. Janus winced internally - he’d been wondering if Patton would want to have this conversation for a while now, and had dearly hoped he never would. Externally, he smirked. “Yes, I would say we were rather ‘well met’ - I’m glad you think so too.”

Instead of the frustrated groan that he was expecting, a burst of tiny, adorable laughter spilled out of Patton’s lips. Patton seemed just as surprised as him, lifting his hand to cover his mouth even as his shoulders shook and his dark eyes crinkled with delight.

It was hard not to smile back, with a laugh like that, especially when it had been his own idiotic joke that had caused it.

“That was quite funny,” Patton admitted as his giggles tapered off.

It had been terrible, but Janus wasn’t one to look compliment horses in the mouth. “Thank you, I try.”

Patton’s face sobered far too soon, “Um, did you - do you remember anything? From then, I mean?”

“I…” Janus considered, “I remember enough.”

The memories were hazy, though. He remembered leaving the premiere, going to get a drink. He remembered catching sight of an absolute vision in pale blue, gazing with wide, curious eyes at his surroundings, smiling and waving self consciously when he’d noticed Janus watching him. He couldn’t for the life of him remember what they’d talked about.

He hadn’t even known who Patton was, at the time, though he’d assumed he was at least semi-famous, given the usual clientele of the club.

“D’you - do you remember what I was acting like?” Patton asked haltingly, “Was I normal, I mean?”

Janus paused. He thought about the man he’d met , who laughed loudly and carelessly, who followed him eagerly to the dancefloor. Who looked at him like he would follow him anywhere, if Janus asked. He thought about the man he’d woken up next to, who’d been skittish, panicking, shrinking into himself when Janus so much as looked at him.

He thought about the way he’d felt when Patton laughed at his dumb joke.

“I’ve known you for about three days and you’ve been either tipsy or highly stressed for all of them,” he replied in a measured voice, “I’m hardly the person to ask how ‘normal’ you were acting.”

Patton nodded, though he seemed disappointed, his brow knit in confusion.

“It’s just - I don’t remember anything,” he started, voice strained, “I’ve gone over it so many times and I still can’t understand why I did it!”

Janus’ gut twisted far harder than it should have.

“Oh, thank you so much,” he snapped.

“That’s not fair,” Patton snapped back with just as much wounded ferocity, “You know what I mean - I’ve never done anything like that! I’m not like that, I stay out of trouble-”

“-Not like what, exactly?” Janus interrupted, narrowing his eyes, “Or should I say, ‘not like whom’?”

“Janus-”

Stop, he should stop, remove himself from the situation, calm down.

Janus had gotten to his feet without realising it.

“‘Stay out of trouble?’” he hissed, “We are grownups, have you considered that we shouldn’t be getting into ‘trouble’ for having consensual sex in the first place-”

“Of course I’ve considered it, but that doesn’t change the fact that we do, and we did!” Patton protested, “I’m just being realistic here, we both chose to be in this industry-”

Janus scoffed.

“And maybe you don’t care, but I-” Patton spoke right over him, “think I have a responsibility to behave-”

“Behave?” Janus laughed bitterly.

“You’re misunderstanding me-”

“Oh no, I think I understand just fine,” he interrupted, “I’m so sorry I led you astray, I assure you it won’t happen again.”

“I- I know it won’t?” Patton replied, dumbfounded, “Janus, I’m not trying to fight with you-”

“Well in that case, perhaps I should take my leave.” Janus cut in.

Patton looked dismayed, “Maybe that’s for the best, yeah,” he muttered eventually. He didn’t get up to show Janus the door.

Janus thought about slamming it behind him, but decided it would be rude and uncouth.

Besides, it would be far more satisfying to leave it open so that Patton would have to get up and close it. He was at the end of the corridor before he heard it click quietly closed.

He didn’t turn around.

…

Janus was mooching around in his flat. Janus was definitely not thinking about Patton as he did so.

Had he been about to cry, when he left? He wouldn’t have noticed at the time, what with his own anger, but the idea that Patton might have cried after he walked out made his heart clench.

Because that was fair, he grumbled to himself. It wasn’t like he’d said anything wrong, he was right - this whole charade they’d gotten trapped in, it was unnecessary and ludicrous, and it wasn’t his fault - wasn’t either of their faults.

God, he needed a smoke.

Just as he was reaching for the box hidden in his bedside drawer - why were they hidden, he lived alone - his phone buzzed. He’d been tagged in an image by @patton.theheart on Instagram. Ah yes. Even if they were both seething and furious at each other, the dance continued.

“Three perfect months with @totally_notalyre - we’re both so excited to finally share our relationship with you all!!! <3 <3 <3”

The comments were already flooding in, row after row of overwhelming positivity, keyboard smashing and heart emojis. Janus scrolled through them impassively, stopping to smirk at the ones raving about how attractive he was - well, he never claimed to be a modest man.

Then he saw one that made his blood run cold.

“So proud of you Patton!”

Followed by several rainbows.

And several more:

“I’ve been a fan of you since you were like, 16 and I’m so happy to finally see you living your truth!”

“Well done Patton! Don’t worry - your true fans will stick by you no matter what!”

“Thank you so much for sharing your true self with us, Patton <3”

The memories of the past few days, every version of Patton that lived in his head, flashed before Janus’ eyes in a very different light, ending with him cross legged on his couch, biting his inner cheek as he listened to Janus berate him.

He definitely needed a fucking smoke now. No he didn’t - he needed to call Patton, he needed to talk to him, to ask him - to ask him what? They were barely friends, and he’d just spent the afternoon yelling at him, what right did he have to demand answers?

“Calm down, Lyre,” he growled to himself, “Just call the man, be calm and subtle; you need to apologise to him if nothing else.”

“Hello?” Patton had picked up on the first ring. Did his voice sound subdued over the phone? Or teary?

“You weren’t out,” Janus blurted out clumsily. So much for subtle.

“I’m sorry?”

“When we had our… ‘encounter’,” he clarified, “You were still closeted?”

“Oh, that,” Patton replied flatly. He could practically hear him fidgeting over the phone, “Well technically, I wasn’t exactly closeted, I was just - trying to avoid talking about it until I was ready.”

“ …I’m so sorry.”

“No, no - it’s okay!” Patton said hastily, “I mean, maybe not ‘okay’, but looking on the bright side - I was planning on coming out in a few months from now anyway! So, you know, technically this took the pressure off!”

Despite his cheery tone, Janus got the feeling Patton didn’t quite believe himself. He definitely didn’t believe him. “You had one planned?” he asked.

“Well yeah, actually!” Patton admitted, “Technically, it’s still gonna happen - I’m gonna be releasing an album where I sort of share my experiences and feelings and stuff, so it’s not like I lost anything, I guess.”

You lost the right to control your own damn narrative, Janus didn’t retort, because he knew fully well that Patton knew that, he was just a relentless, infuriating optimist.

“Um… Janus?” Patton’s voice cut through his thoughts, “Just by the way - I’m not technically supposed to tell many people, so please just keep that quiet because I think Logan is already quite cross at me anyway?”

“Done,” Janus chuckled. Then he drew in a breath, ready to address the difficult part of this call, “Regarding my conduct earlier today - I believe I might owe you an apology.”

“No you don’t.” Patton responded quickly, far firmer than he’d ever been, at least with Janus.

“Patton-”

“You don’t,” he repeated, “Yeah, I mean - you could have been nicer, but you were right, and I said some less than nice things too! But, you know - when you sorta grow up in this industry, it becomes a bit hard to know which bits are normal and which bits are kinda…messed up? And our little spat today, it really kind of reminded me, so if anything, maybe I should thank you!”

“You should not.”

“Well-”

“If you can forbid me from apologising, I can forbid you from thanking me.”

“Yeah, okay, fair enough!” Patton’s giggle was just as infectious over the phone and Janus felt the corners of his mouth lift against his will.

“Ahem - well, lovely talking to you, as always, but I ought to get going now.”

“Goodnight Janus.”

“…Goodnight, Patton.”

[barbecuebabybackribs]

 Being Bella’s little brother and Seth Clearwaters Imprint:

When the two of you met he had no idea Bella had a little brother, let alone that you were his imprint

But when he catches your eye for just a split second- he nearly chokes on the sandwich he had been eating

Suddenly nothing else around him matters, his whole world shifts and he want’s to stay in that moment forever, holding your gaze.

You had only been there to drop something off, Jacob had apparently left something at Bella’s- probably purposefully hoping Bella would come over to drop it off but boy, was he glad you came instead.

The whole packs eyes shift in between the two of you

“Well, he’s not what I was expecting.” Quill snickers, bumping Seth’s shoulder snapping him back to reality.

“Is Jacob around?” You asked, feeling a little uneasy at everyone staring at you, “Bella asked me to drop this off...” You trailed off shifting uncomfortably.

“He’s out on a run- but you can wait here.” Sam said, a smirk on his face as he listened to Seth’s racing thoughts

“Oh, that’s okay, I’ll just drop it off with you if that’s alright.” 

Seth’s shoulder’s dropped hoping you’d accept Sam’s offer and he’d be able to actually talk to you

You put Jacob’s wallet down on the table, hoping to get out of there as quickly as humanly possible because at this point the stares were deeply disturbing you

Paul threw his shoe at Seth, yelling at him in there heads to say something.

“Uh! Hi!?” He said a little to loud and obviously panicked

You just smiled at him, a little awkwardly but it was enough to get Seth hyped up

“I’m Seth Clearwater, Did you just move here?”

Ah, maybe that’s why they’ve been looking at you so strange, you think to yourself, A random stranger walks into your house and drops off there friends wallet. You assumed Bella had mentioned you coming over, apparently you assumed wrong.

“No, well kind of, I moved in a week after Bella got here.”

“How do you know Bella?” 

Oh so they don’t know about you at all, you laugh slightly, oh course she didn’t, she was such a nice sister but damn, not even mentioning her own brother. 

“She’s my sister...”

Suddenly everyone else was the one’s falling silent and Seth was chatting away about how you should come to there bonfire they were having tonight- they technically weren’t going to be having one but he was gonna be damned if he let you just walk away

You reluctantly agreed and then took your leave

You thought he was nice but were still unsettled by the awkward encounter

Seth however was over the moon, rambling about how nice you seemed and how they needed to throw the best bonfire, when Jacob came back he was attacked with hundreds of questions about you- Most of which he hardly knew the answer to like, what’s there favorite color, do they like muffins, what’s their favorite food, ect.

All the other pack members slightly dread having to listen to this forever.

Boy is excited but nervous when he waits for you

You take one step out of your car and he’s standing there practically jumping with joy

He can’t calm down, he’s just so excited to spend time with you

The pack have to warn him not to scare you off multiple times

Once you get over how excited he is you realized he’s actually pretty fun to be around, you spend all night talking about your lives and interests 

Before you leave you both agree you should hang out again soon- you actually suggest it and Seth can’t agree fast enough

When you leave Seth is so giddy- the entire pack is happy for him but they all start to poke fun at him

He doesn’t care, he’s over the moon happy

Since that day he’s almost constantly around you

You two become quick friends, You finally feel like you’ve connected with someone since you moved to Forks

You adore how happy and innocent he can be, loving his long ramblings about random things and interests he has

He loves how you actually listen to him, not brushing him off or just thinking he’s some silly kid

He invites you too the beach almost constantly- completely forgetting your human and you get cold

One time you ruffled his hair and he’s been obsessed with it ever since

Neither of you meant to fall in love

For you, you realized almost immediately you were starting to get a small crush on him, which only grew the longer you knew each other

He however was clueless for a long while, the pack started to suspect by his thoughts that you weren’t a platonic imprint

All Seth knows is one day it finally clicked in his head one day when you were grabbing fast food for eachother- you remembered his rather large order since this was a regular occurrence for the two of you- he was sitting at a table and suddenly it hit him

He was in love with you

Our man panics at the thought- he knew you cared about him but how much? He was clueless.

He hasn’t even told you that he’s a shifter- and you don’t know about vampires so he has no idea how you’ll react

You notice he’s slightly quieter then usual and you put your hand on his shoulder asking if everything is alright- He nearly jumps out of his skin

He assures you everything is fine while reading into almost everything you do or say, wondering if it’s a sign your just friends or that you like him

When he goes back to the pack that night he tries to clear his thoughts but they’re just full of you.

Paul ATTEMPTS at giving him advice

“Look, man, I don’t know what its like to... ya know be in love with a dude... but I am a dude and I’ve been in lots of relationships so If I were you I’d just come right out to her- I mean him- look just tell him you like him, I’m sure they feel the same way about you... I mean I think... probably.”

“Paul, your horrible at this.”

“Well then, you try since your so good at this, Quill.”

Seth thanks them quickly and leaves, he’s thankful that Paul gave him advice but just telling you almost gave him a heart attack to think about.

That night he writes almost a three paragraph text to you, but ends up deleting it- to nervous to tell you

Leah is sitting in the other room trying not to snoop on his thoughts but unable to keep them out

Ends up giving him some advice, that if he loves you to not let you go, to not rush things, and when he feels like he’s ready to ask you out.

He thanks her before heading off to bed

Turns out he feels ready in three days

The entire pack is internally hyping him up when you pick him up- He invited you to the beach, wanting to have you undivided attention.

Ends up rambling for an hour as he talks around his feelings.

Internally at war on whether or not he’s ready to tell you

“Do you want to go on a date?” He blurts out after a moment of silence

...

“Like... a date date?” You ask hopeful but not wanting to misunderstand

“Yeah... you don’t have to if you don’t want- I just thought it might be nice cause I really like yo-- you know what just forget I said anything it not importan--”

“I’d love to go on a date with you.” You answered, attempting to hide the severe blush rising to your cheeks.

Seth does not stop smiling the rest of your hang out- when he get’s home the pack doesn’t even need to hear his thoughts to know.

“Alright way to go Seth!”

You go home that day also unable to wipe your smile off your face

“what’s got you so happy about?” Bella asks, she secretly already know, Edward told her the minute you walked in the door.

She knew you two had become friends but she had no idea you were gay

“Nothing!” You chimed happily grabbing a soda from the fridge

“Okay.. Hey Y/N can I ask you something and you promise to tell the truth.”

“Sure, Bells, what’s up?”

“Are you... gay?

You both just look at each other for a few minutes before you finally answer “Maybe a bit.”

“Oh.. cool.” She says before going back upstairs, reeling from the new information.

Your left confused on what just happened and how she knew, but deciding it would be best to just accept it and move on

The next time you were in the same room it was very awkward

She didn’t exactly care, but she was raised where it was out of the norm

You thought she did care, and you couldn’t look her in the eye

Once Edward told her that how you felt, she decided it was time to talk

“You know, I don’t hate you... right?”

“... You don’t?”

“Uh no, I was just shocked... I’m glad you told me.”

“Well you did force my hand.”

“Yeah, sorry that was wrong of me.”

“It’s alright.”

Things were still awkward but that was your normal- living in a house with Charlie and Bella meant there were a lot of uncomfortable moments

Although you were glad she knew

On the day of your date both of your guys nerves were high

Everything felt very awkward

You went to see a movie, an action film he really wanted to see, you didn’t like it but were glad he enjoyed himself.

Seth didn’t really know what to do on a date, all he had to go off was Paul and romance movies- neither of those were the best things to base your knowledge off

When he saw you shiver slightly and pull your jacket closer he thought he had the perfect idea in his idea

He did the classic yawn and arm move, and you almost jumped out of your skin when you felt his hot arm lay across your shoulders

Unknowingly he timed his smooth moves with a suspenseful scene in the movie- and you were already on edge so him wrapping his arm around you scared the hell out of you

You felt guilty when he quickly recoiled and whispered a sorry

After a few moments of silence you decided you’d pull the same move on him

He was internally screaming at himself for being so stupid when you slithered your arm around him

You stared straight forward to nervous to meet his eye, however you could see in the corner of your eye he was looking at you

After a few seconds he relaxed into your touch, leaning slightly into you

He couldn’t focus on the movie after that, he was far to excited and if it weren’t for the fact that he was in a theater he would have been nervously rambling

You both went home, punching the air you were both so excited

He went to bed thinking about how good it felt to be in your arms

You went to bed gushing at how cute his face was when you left, his face was a red mess

After that day you guys talked everyday and saw each other every other day

On your third date, he works up the courage to kiss you, sweating nervously while he did it

Is so giddy when you press another kiss to his lips

You would’ve liked to continue but he was so excited he nearly pounces on you with a hug

It becomes a common occurrence to steal a kiss or two here and there

You dad was suspicious you were seeing a girl and not telling him

He tried to give you ‘the talk’ because he ‘was a teenage boy to and know’s what its like’

You were uncomfortably sitting on the sofa, wishing to be anywhere else

“Uhm dad... I should probably tell you something.”

“Oh god... is she pregnant?’

“NO! no no no, it’s not that... actually you won’t really need to worry about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a... seeing someone who’s not.. a girl...”

“So like a...”

“I’m seeing Seth Clearwater.” You decide it’s better to just rip off the band-aid

“Ah... well that’s good then... he’s a good kid.”

An uncomfortable silence falls and you both sip nervously at your drinks,

“You know you still need to use protection right...”

“Oh my god... yes dad I know.”

“I’m just making sure!” 

Things are a little uncomfortable for awhile but Charlie really doesn’t give a damn- he’s still not happy you were seeing someone behind his back, but he let’s it slide

Next time Seth comes over Charlie makes you leave the door cracked

Not that you minded, you just played games and talked- laughing together whenever you’d see Charlie checking on the two of you

The time to tell you about him being shifter finally come and he is terrified but excited to not need to hide it from you any more

“Hey Seth, Why are we going into the middle of the woods?”

“You’ll see!”

He leads you away from the others, before nervously stopping and turning to you

“Uhm so I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to show you... uh don’t panic please.”

The words ‘don’t panic’ made you panic, “Oh god please tell me your not a serial killer.”

“No, not a serial killer.”

“A... Cannibal?”

“Uh, also no. You’ll see.”

When he takes his shirt off you get extremely uncomfortable- When he takes his pants off you look anywhere but to him, “Uh... I should... I should go.”

Your about to turn around when in the flash of an eye the man that was standing before turns into a ginormous wolf

You just stare at him for a few minutes, not saying a damn word

You question literally everything you’ve ever known

“Okay.” You sigh, Finally looking him in the eye, “I don’t really know what to say at that but thanks, for not being a cannibal- your not going to eat me right now are you?”

He shakes his head, laughing internally at how that’s your concern right now.

“Okay then...” You trailed off, taking a few cautious steps forward- I mean.. it’s not exactly normal but it could’ve been worse, you thought to yourself.

“Can I... uhm..” You don’t finish your sentence, wearily raising your hand to touch him.

He nuzzled into your hand, you gently stroked his fur behind his ear- it was weird but you were trying your best to accept it, you did love him... all of him and if this is something you’d have to get used to, you were willing to do that.

“Okay,” you say patting his head, “Can you, ya know, unwolf-i-fy please, so I can talk to you.”

He takes a few steps away from you before you shifting, you quickly look away while he get’s changed

“So, what do you think?” Seth asks a little nervous but happy that you didn’t immediately run away

“My boyfriend is a werewolf... I mean that’s cool but, could’ve used a heads up.”

He explains the whole pack history, who is and isn’t werewolves, finally explains what happened to Emily- answering a question you hadn’t dared to ask, when he explains imprints to you, you get lowkey jealous.

“So... who’s your imprint then?”

“...”

“Seth.”

He laughed and motions towards you, it takes a second for it to click.

“... What’s that supposed to-- OH ME?”

“Yep!”

When he walks you back to the pack, Quill groans slightly- he had bet 20 dollars you would’ve ran for the hills

You just squint at the lot of them, not really knowing what to say but deciding you had to say something, “So all of you then?”

“Yes, we’re all shifters.” Sam says, cautious not to say to much.

“Well that’s... cool.”

Seth pulls you away and you decide it’s time to go

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” You asked, and he quickly replied with a “Yep!”

After you take a day to think and process, things basically go back to normal

You get so excited to see him shift that he get’s excited, which get’s you excited, and it just continues to loop

He can show you his strength and agility now so he decides to start sneaking in you window- with your permission

You’ll start hearing little taps on your window almost every night

You’ll look over and see his dopey smile.through the window

Him coming clean to you about his supernatural side means he finally feels comfortable to sleep with you- not the way your thinking

Quite literally cuddled up to you and sound asleep, arms and legs tangled together

Forks is a cold, cold place so you obviously need to sleep cuddled up to your warm boyfriend.

“So you could say your hot in both senses of the word.”

“I-”

He BLUSHES when you flirt with him, he get’s so flustered

When he flirts with you it’s all cheesy pickup lines- if they came from anyone else you’d gag but it’s cute from him

“Are you french?”

“No-”

“Because Eiffel for you.”

He’s a dork but you love him.

It takes a long while for you to get physically intimate

He’ll only be comfortable doing a few smaller things at first, not wanting to go all the way

You kind of expected it, he get’s embarrassed when you kiss him, so sex? Boy would probably die that instant

At the end of the day, he’s so happy he found you and so in love with you it almost overwhelms him

He makes sure to remind you how much he loves you everyday for the rest of your lives together

(SO I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS YESTERDAY MORNING BUT I CLICKED SAVE TO DRAFT AND IM REALLY DUMB. Also this is a request but I lost there request so I’m really sorry and hope you can see this bud. Love y’all, stay safe)

[hajimewhore]

Body Swap 👫 (Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader) ➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 3.2k words ➷Humor, slight angst, misunderstandings, mutual pining, shenanigans ofc, i missed oikawa ➷ Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, ✈Part 7

Hajime nearly chokes, wiping the ‘potion’ dribbling down his jawline, he presses the back of his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep the disgusting concoction from exiting his gut. 

“...How was it?”

You try to pat his back sympathetically (he’s gagging now), but you’re the one that insisted he try the mystery remedy first, and you cautiously pull your hand away as he shoots you the most menacing glare he can while he’s coughing into his palm. 

“It was made with weird mushrooms and fucking plants, how do you think it tastes?”

Terrible, you guess. And the effects were supposed to be instantaneous, according to a recipe dropped in one of the posts you found… not that you expected it to work. 

“Ahh, and nothing happened.”

You rub your jaw semi-thoughtfully, before catching the look on Hajime’s face. 

“Uh, Hajime?”

His expression is glaring, not unlike someone scheming for revenge. But that’s silly, Hajime wouldn’t blame you for the potion not working, right?

“It probably didn’t work because you didn’t try it with me.”

It seems he would, realization sets in as Hajime closes in on you, and you panic,

“I think it didn’t work because it was someone bullshitting!”

“Don’t you want to swap back? Just drink it!”

“You’re just mad, get away from me!”

You trip on your feet, stumbling into the kitchen table. It scrapes the tile as your hands clutch for purchase on anything that’ll help you get you away from the madman behind you, but the tablecloth you’ve grasped at isn’t much help seeing as you swipe it off the table entirely. You’d be impressed that all the plates and the flower-filled vase stayed perfectly set on the table from your impromptu magic trick, if it weren’t for Hajime assaulting you.

You cry out as if you’re being brutally attacked (you are, technically–just with plant juice), and Hajime takes you by the jaw and tilts a cup of the swirling cocktail to your lips, sloshing rather unappetizingly in the glass. If the thing had an aura, it’d have a thick gray cloud fuming from it. 

“And why would I be mad?”

“Because I made you drink a potion I found on a weird thread even though it was totally suspicious and completely untrustworthy!”

You confess to your sins, the thread was actually some sort of troll that promised the reader would swap bodies with their favorite celebrity, and you cast it aside for the likelihood of that never happening, it was probably a scam to get some gullible teens to drink essentially dirt.

And you admit that initially you thought it would be funny to prank Hajime, jotting down the recipe and conveniently leaving out the celebrity bit, but in your excitement to scheme you forgot Hajime doesn’t take too well to pranks at his expense. 

Not without retribution at least, and you find yourself grappling at his wrists, attempting to turn your head away from the glass.

He eyes you with a too eager grin,

“You should try it, really, it might work.”

It didn’t. 

It was disgusting. 

You have learned your lesson not to trifle with Hajime, and you're no closer to finding a solution to your problem. 

You slump onto the kitchen table, feeling especially abused and violated by the plant paste you regretfully crafted. 

“That’s number one on the list, what’s next?”

Hajime rests his elbow on the table, chin in palm as he scrolls on his phone. 

“Bonk our heads together so hard we pass out and hopefully wake up in our own bodies?”

You suggest. Who knows, it could actually work.

“No thanks, I’d rather not wake up the same way but with a concussion.”

The second Hajime turns down your cartoonish suggestion, his phone lights up and buzzes, signifying a call.

You glance at his phone, “Tooru’s calling you?”

“Fuck. I’ll just ignore it,”

The moment he sets his phone aside, the kitchen door bursts open, presenting none other than Oikawa Tooru, entirely expected given the situation and the fact that Hajime’s parents are still at work. 

“Tooru?!”

You blink in surprise, and Tooru frowns at the sight of the two of you together. 

“I knew you were ignoring me!”

“What the fuck Shittykawa, who said you could come over?”

Hajime grimaces, forgetting to stay true to your personality in his surprise. Tooru’s brow ticks at the catty response to his entrance. 

“I see you’ve been spending too much time with Iwa-chan, using his terrible nicknames! I didn’t think you’d ever use it on me either, but here we are!”

He folds his arms across his chest, and Hajime covers his mouth.

Shit, he let that one slip in his initial shock. 

“Besides, this is Iwa-chan’s house, and I say I can come over! You two have been ignoring me all week and coming up with the shittiest excuses—”

“Oikawa—”

“No, let me finish!”

He huffs, looking more serious than you’ve seen him outside the court. Judging by his posture and the worry in his brows, you can tell he’s been stressing himself lately. You bite your cheek, knowing full well you and Hajime were the root of the cause.

“Both of you have to go to the dentist when the office is closed, really? Iwa-chan studying for a test that’s not for another week, please! Give me a break. Not to mention, every practice you play like shit Iwa-chan,”

It’s not shit, you’re just not Hajime’s usual, because you’re not fucking Hajime. You want to argue, defend yourself and Hajime, but you keep your lips sealed. 

“You act like a total weirdo, you hardly talk to your own teammates and friends, and you–”

He turns to Hajime, technically you, scowl ever present. 

“You always run off with him after school! And don’t even pretend like you’re not having lunch with him too, Kunimi-chan saw you eating alone together by the art building���ditching me, yeah?”

He’s fuming, and his hair is moving in every direction accompanying his wild, frantic gestures. 

The guilt starts piling, and you’re starting to regret yours and Hajime’s way of handling the situation. 

To avoid uncomfortable situations and messing up, you thought the best method was to steer clear from everyone entirely. 

Clearly that’s backfiring, but it’s too late to erase those actions now. 

“Not only have you two spent all week lying to me, you’ve been completely ignoring my calls and texts all weekend too!”

Tooru pauses, rant seemingly over, but neither you or Hajime feel inclined to speak yet, too caught off guard by the outburst, and unsure of what you can say to remedy the situation. 

Tooru drops his arms at his sides, glancing away from the two of you, biting his lip. Your shoulders tense when you feel the atmosphere around him drop significantly.

“Are you guys mad at me?”

Oh. 

Oh fuck.

You forgot he had feelings. 

“Oikawa, it’s not that, I swear.”

You speak first, and Tooru looks to you with an expression that almost breaks your heart right there. Brown eyes glossy, lips in a thin line as if he’s trying to keep them from turning down into a frown, he looks genuinely displeased.

“Are you just sick of me? Are you tired of hanging out with me? I know I’m an asshole sometimes, but if it makes you guys that upset I can stop, I’ll be better.” 

In any other context you may quip with a ‘you could stop this whole time?’, but the joke wouldn’t sit right, and Tooru looks entirely too on edge, fingers tapping at his sides restlessly. 

Tooru’s always been the type to stay true to himself, unabashedly and unapologetically. He knows he’s flawed, has learned to accept his shortcomings as a person. But here he is before you and Hajime, willing to cast aside his pride for the sake of your friendship. It only serves to guilt you more, considering it’s based upon the lies you’ve built up.

“I promise we’re not sick of you, we just… had something come up that we had to deal with. It’s been really stressful, I’m sorry.”

You don’t particularly care if it’s too out of character, it’s what Tooru needs to hear. 

Risking a glance at Hajime, you see he’s shaking his leg and biting his lip, a few of his nervous tics, he’s contemplating something heavily. 

“And you can’t tell me? You always tell me when something is wrong.”

Tooru eyes you suspiciously, and it’s true, usually you can tell Tooru anything. But this isn’t something believable, and you and Hajime both decided it’s best kept a secret. 

“We can’t, but it’s nothing you did. Don’t worry about it, we’ll start hanging out soon, like we used to, we just have to deal with this ourselves.”

And you hope you’ll be able to, it’d be nice to go back to normal. You did miss movie nights with Tooru and Hajime, and you miss having lunch together on the rooftop. 

Tooru thinks for a moment, you see the gears turning in his head, eyes focused. He glances to Hajime, who hasn’t said a word the entire time, still tense on the other side of the table. 

Tooru’s contemplative gaze flicks to you, as if he’s had some sort of revelation. 

“Did you get her pregnant?”

WHA—THAT’S HIS REVELATION?

“You asshole, shut up!”

Hajime’s choice first words. 

“What?! No, no, fuck no!”

You blush heavily at his wild accusation, and Tooru looks visibly relieved. 

“Oh, thank god. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing, necessarily, and I always kind of expected it, but this is just too soon.”

He laughs airily, as if he doesn’t feel the weight of his words like you do, heavy on your heart. Does everyone have that assumption? That you and Hajime would one day be together like that?

“We’re not even dating, idiot.”

Ouch. Hajime’s adamant refusal jabs at you, and you try to ignore the ache that claws at your chest. That may have stung a bit, but you certainly won’t admit it out loud.

“Yeah, yeah. I just couldn’t think of any other reason you’d be ignoring me like that.”

“It’s ‘cause we swapped bodies.”

You whip your head to Hajime, physically ripped from your disappointment, too shocked he’d blab the truth to Tooru and expect a reasonable outcome from it.

“Hah. Hah.”

Tooru doesn’t even entertain the explanation, arms crossed and eyes disinterested, accompanying the dry laugh well.

“It’s true.”

You hope Hajime knows what he’s doing. 

“Funny, and I didn’t think you’d be in on it Iwa-chan, looking so surprised like that.”

Tooru doesn’t even look skeptical, or remotely fazed, as if he doesn’t want to be tricked into falling for something so blatantly stupid. 

And normally, he’d be right to, but in this case, you and Hajime were unfortunately not kidding. 

“I just didn’t think Hajime would openly admit that without talking to me first.”

You shoot a glance at Hajime, as if to convey ‘I hope you know what you’re doing’, but he merely shrugs in response. 

“And you’re a real prankster today too. What’s gotten into you guys? Seriously, are you mad at me?”

Tooru is starting to look a little peeved, visibly doubting your words of encouragement from earlier. 

“We’re not mad. We switched places. We woke up last Sunday in each other’s bodies. That’s why we haven’t been ourselves, and that’s why we’ve been avoiding everyone.”

Hajime continues with his explanation, as if Tooru would be any closer to believing it.

Which he isn’t. 

“That’s not even possible, but fine, I’ll play along. You’re Iwa-chan, supposedly. What’s something that only he would know?”

Tooru crosses his arms smugly, staring at your body, who is ‘supposedly’ Hajime, as if he’s got you two in checkmate. 

This can’t be good for Tooru, but it’s definitely going to be good for you if you’re getting in on a secret. 

“Alright. You swore me to secrecy for this one,” Hajime doesn’t hesitate for one second, “that time at the volleyball banquet last year you saw a girl with a ‘nice ass’ in a ‘super mega tight dress’ and wanted to hit on her, but when you tapped her shoulder, she turned around and it was actually Y/N–”

Now this is very interesting news to you. 

“H-HEY, STOP TALKING–”  

Hajime side steps Tooru’s attempt to cover his mouth,

“And you pre-gamed before the event so you drunkenly admitted to me that you’d still tap that but she’s practically your sister and that’s gross but her ass looked so–”

“I get it okay! How do I know you’re not just fucking with me and broke the secret pact we made?!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off and glares at you, but you’re giving him the widest, shit-eating grin. 

“I knew that dress looked good.”

“Enough games already!”

“What about the time in elementary school where you and I went to a volleyball match and you had to–”

“ENOUGH, enough, I believe you, okay!”

Tooru relents, red-faced and practically sweating from his nervous panic. 

“I wanna know about the time in elementary school where you and Hajime went to a volleyball match and something happened.”

You put your hand up, wanting to know the juicy details. You thought you and Tooru told each other everything, but apparently there’s some missing gaps in that ‘everything’, and you’re very eager to learn. 

“We made a friendship promise and he swore me not to tell anyone but because of the circumstances, he had to—” 

“I said I believed you already, stop trying to out me!”

Tooru cuts Hajime off at the best part, every time. 

He taps his foot with a huff, bottom lip twitching into a frown. Hajime gives him a smug look, staring back combatively, as if Tooru will attempt to call out bullshit again (he won’t). 

You’ll have to remember to ask Hajime about the middle school incident at a later date, but right now, 

“I’m sorry we kept this from you, and sorry I kept ignoring your calls, Tooru. We didn’t know what to do.”

You interrupt their staring contest, wrapping your arms around Tooru in a tight hug. You’re the tallest you’ve ever been, and it’s weird to hug him when you aren’t yourself, but you missed your best friend. 

“Uh…”

Tooru awkwardly pats your back,

“I was kind of lying before because I thought you guys were trying to shame and humiliate me, but this is really weird and I actually might believe you now.”

“Asshole, that’s all it took?! And stop hugging him like that, it's freaking me out!”

Hajime slaps Tooru on the back, yanking you by the back of your shirt to pull you from the hug. 

He grumbles something indecipherable under his breath, contemplating whether he should even say anything, 

“I’m sorry too. I guess.”

He gives Tooru an awkward, much gentler slap on the back, before slinging his arm around Tooru in some sort of half-hug gesture.

“I-Iwa-chan! It really is you in there!”

Oikawa’s fake tears spring to life as he bends down to wrap Hajime in a hug, who struggles like a cat wanting to be released. 

“Get off me!”

Tooru pulls back, wiping a tear from his long lashes, 

“I’m still really upset right now, I really thought you guys hated me! So if you could please shower me with adoration, that’d be lovely.”

Tooru spreads out his arms, a pathetic expression on his face that Hajime doesn’t buy for one second. 

“Tooru! I love you! You’re the best Tooru, your jump serves are great! Your setting is unmatched! You’re my bestest friend!”

You cheer him on, Hajime is balking that you’d even entertain the idea of doing that in his body, let alone acting on it, but Tooru eats it up with gleaming eyes. 

“Quit feeding his ego!”

It’s your turn to be scolded by Hajime, but you just stick your tongue out at him sheepishly. 

“He deserves it?”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly! He didn’t do anything, and we were being bad friends.”

“I’m on your side,”

Tooru slings an arm around your shoulder and gazes down at Hajime, who’s more aggravated now than when he was drinking straight plant paste. 

It hadn’t bothered him too much initially, but having to crane his neck up to glare at Tooru is sparking some caveman urge deep inside Hajime to absolutely throttle him.

“Out. Get out of my house.”

“Technically, this isn’t your house–OW, Iwa-chan, that still hurts!”

“Newsflash Asshole-kawa, girls can hit too!”

They can, and you let Hajime prove his point. 

“So,”

“If it’s something about aliens, I don’t want to hear it.”

You interrupt Tooru before he can spew something definitely about aliens.

“I wasn’t going to bring up aliens–though it’s a very valid cause you definitely need to consider. I was actually going to ask if you have any idea how long you’re gonna be like this?”

You give Tooru a tired look, and Hajime just ignores him entirely, tired of glaring no doubt. 

Tooru’s been lazing around, attempting to ‘help’ you and Hajime, but you doubt he’s accomplished anything aside from scrolling through the same threads you’ve looked through. You’re willing to bet he researched for a minute or two before losing interest, abandoning the task in favor of looking through Karasuno’s and Shiratorizawa’s match history.

“If we knew, we’d tell you.”

You respond, since it seems Hajime isn’t interested in replying.

“Ooh, that reminds me,” Tooru props his elbows up on the couch, pausing whatever volleyball match he was watching to drop his phone on his chest, “I saw this foreign family comedy once where the mom and her daughter swapped places, but they had to show each other selfless love and understand what the other goes through to swap back.” 

Tooru gasps in additional realization before turning to Hajime, “Iwa-chan, are you her mom?”

The look Hajime gives Tooru is enough to put him in a grave and send secondhand chills down your spine. 

“Sorry, sorry, don’t hit me again! Your hands are pointy and jabby now, it’s hard to get used to.”

Ignoring that, 

“Hajime and I already understand each other, we have to put up with you all day.”

“True,” Tooru is completely unbothered by that comment, “I did see a romcom where the two main characters had to kiss at the end, they ended up swapping places like that.”

You don’t like that he casually suggests this with such an innocent look on his features.

“That sounds stupid, watch better movies.”

Hajime grunts out, and you’ll admit that kissing Hajime would be nice, but under normal circumstances preferably. You don’t particularly want to kiss yourself as Hajime. 

“I appreciate all your knowledge in films that have body swaps in them Tooru, but this isn’t a romcom, or a movie.”

You sigh, and Tooru hums thoughtfully. 

“Sure, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

He sits upright with ease, sliding off the couch and pocketing his phone, 

“Anyways, I’ve got more practice to do. I’ll try not to be too hard on you tomorrow, now that I know you’ve swapped with that brute over there. Ciao!”

Tooru ducks out of the living room and out the Iwaizumi household before Hajime can assault him, and good thing, he probably would’ve had some bruises from your ‘jabby’ and ‘pointy’ hands. 

With Tooru’s quick escape, you’re left contemplating whether that suggestion would actually work or not, risking glances to Hajime across the room.

A/N: not me ending a chapter on a juicy bit again afjknddm, anyways im posting this at an ungodly time but i hope everyone enjoys!

taglist: @cybergovl @babybellecheese @keijikunn @168-cm-png @sexy0android @cuddlesslut @bumbledunce​

[todoroki-waifu]

Note: I wrote this in 2014 but never posted it. At least I think I didn’t? Lol. Anyway, this is my first Haikyuu fic! I edited it a bit so hopefully you guys enjoy it! I love Kageyama so much. 😭♥️😭♥️

Kageyama x F!Reader

Word Count: 1631

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Cursing.

A quiet but long sigh passes between your lips, your jaw resting on your palm while you stare out the window. All your friends take note of your somber mood and although you tell them you’re fine, your response doesn’t match your behavior. It was the beginning of the lunch period, but the cold weather persuaded everyone to stay indoors. 

Desks were moved around to accommodate the students’ ideal seating arrangement with their friends. You suddenly felt your desk shift slightly and you turn your head to find that Kageyama had pushed his table right beside yours. 

“Oi, I know you’re lying.”

“Eh? Lying about what?" 

"That you’re ‘okay’.” He situated himself back to his seat, facing you with determination to have you reveal what you’ve been hiding. 

“I’m not lying. Really! I’m just…tired. I didn’t get enough sleep.” Maybe if you kept telling yourself that, you might actually believe it yourself. 

“Hn.” He leaned in slightly with an interrogating aura surrounding him. 

“A-anyway, I’m gonna get something from the vending machine. Want anything?” You stood up, his presence overwhelming you slightly. 

“Yes, I want you to tell me the truth." 

"Kageyama-kun, I said I’m fine, okay? If you keep asking, I’m going to get mad.” Your annoyed look shut his mouth.

A few moments after you left, the door of his classroom was roughly opened and a slightly high pitched voice gathered everyone’s attention.

“__(y/n)-chan!” Nishinoya sings your name before his eyes try to find you. “Are you okay?!" 

"Who do I need to beat up?!” Tanaka pounds his right fist into his left palm. 

“Guys, we shouldn’t be so loud.” Asahi tries to hush the boisterous duo. 

“We brought you something that’ll hopefully cheer you up.” Sugawara chimes in, holding up a bag filled with various goodies. 

“Oh! You guys came here, too?” Yamaguchi is surprised with the sudden crowd in the room. 

“I told you it was unnecessary for us to come here.” Tsukishima sighs but quickly glances around the classroom to find you. 

Kageyama finds the volleyball team entering the room, walking to where yours and his desks were. 

“Where did __(y/n)-chan go?” Hinata asks after returning from the restroom.

“She went to get something from the vending machine." 

"Oi! Did you do something to __(y/n)-chan?” The two first years look to where their volleyball senpais were gathered.

“You! You look pretty guilty. What did you do to __(y/n)-chan, damn it?”

“Now, now, let’s calm down. I’m sorry about them. ___(y/n) is our friend and we’re just worr-”

“I’m sorry! I-I didn’t do anything, I swear! I don’t even talk to __(y/n)-chan!” cries the freshman who Tanaka and Nishinoya decided to question. 

“I’m sorry about these three. Please ignore them.” Daichi bows his head to the young male, dragging Asahi, Tanaka, and Nishinoya to where the rest of the group was. 

“Stop scaring the first years!” He scolds. 

“Eh? But I didn’t-” Asahi doesn’t understand why he was being scolded. 

“Your face is already scary enough!” The poor long haired boy pouts at his failed attempt to defend himself. 

“Did you manage to find anything out from ___(y/n)-chan?” Kageyama hears Hinata ask.

“She hasn’t said anything. She keeps saying she’s fine and that she’s just tired." 

"Maybe we shouldn’t push her into telling us, but let’s just try to show our support.” Sugawara places a few snacks the team bought for you beside your bento. 

“You guys are overreacting. If she says she’s tired, then maybe it’s just that.” Tsukishima grunts.

“I know the difference between her being tired and when there’s something on her mind." 

"Do you really, now? I didn’t know you paid that much attention to her.” The blonde smirks at the black haired setter. 

“S-s-shut up! I just …there’s just a difference with her mood, that’s all! It’s not that hard to tell." 

"Let’s not argue. We’re here for __(y/n)-chan, remember?” Yamaguchi tries to pacify the two. 

“Actually, Kageyama is right. __(y/n)-chan isn’t tired. She’s a bit heartbroken.” Kiyoko finally reveals what has been bothering you. She knew exactly what brought down your mood. Although she wasn’t one to blurt out your private conversation, if it had the boys this concerned, they deserved to know that it wasn’t too serious, like someone bullying you.

“Heartbroken?" 

"Yes, she found out that the guy she likes, likes someone else.” That was all she would say. Giving out too much details would betray your trust. “I told her maybe it wasn’t true, but it still discouraged her. Anyway, try not to say anything. I don’t want to worsen her mood.”

The gang agreed silently to not mention what Kiyoko had said and decided to focus on making you feel better. You were surprised to find the group surrounding your seat, but smiled at their presence. You had a feeling they had the same concerns as Kageyama.

You were feeling better than this morning, but once in a while, you would slip into your distracted gaze. Kageyama was becoming quite annoyed with your behavior. Who the hell was that bastard anyway? He bet he would be a waste of your time. So, why did you care about him so much? 

After practice, he was one of the last few to leave school grounds. He spotted you walking towards the school gates, the setter quickening his pace to match yours. He got lucky that both your club activities ended simultaneously.

“Oi, __(y/n)," 

He was met with silence.

”__(y/n).“ He raised his voice slightly and frowned when you ignored him.

”___(y/n)!“ Kageyama finally manages to capture your attention.

"Ep!” You screech, turning to where you felt your hand being grabbed. Your free hand had its fingers curled tightly against your palm, ready to strike, but stopped when you recognized the individual.

“K-k-kageyama-kun! You scared me!”

“I’ve been trying to call you!” He had one arm up to defend against your almost attack. 

“S-sorry! I didn’t hear you.” You lowered your guard and he did the same, slowly releasing his grip.

“Clearly. Are you still thinking about what’s been bothering you all day?”

“N-no, I’m just tired.” You didn’t want your friends to worry.

“W-who cares about that damn bastard!” He was fed up with your crush. In the first place, why the hell didn’t your crush notice such a beautiful girl longing to be with him? Second, did he think he was too good for you?

“Huh?”

“I heard from Kiyoko-senpai that you had your heart broken. She didn’t say who, but that’s why you’ve been upset. Like I said, who cares about him? You’re too good for him anyway! I bet he’s just some idiot who’s too stupid to notice you. I bet he isn’t worthy of your attention. You should give me his name so I can kick his weak ass! I’ll prove to you that you don’t need a dumbass like that.”

“So…you mean to say that you’ll kick your own ass?” You blinked, tilting your head to the side a bit.

“Kick my own ass…? The hell would I do that for?”

“I’m gonna give you a minute to think about it.” You found it cute how Kageyama was becoming defensive for you. You didn’t intend to reveal who you were admiring, but you would feel better if your feelings were at least known.

“…I’m the lame dumbass that you like?” He points at himself, shock painting his face once he registers what you said.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “A-ah, but I don’t think you’re a dumbass!”

“Wait, but I thought that the guy you liked, likes someone else?” Kageyama was confused! He didn’t like anyone but you!

“Exactly. I’m probably taking a big risk here, but you’re my crush, Kageyama-kun. I heard Hinata talking about how you both admire Makoto-senpai and how you wish that she was in our year and that she would join the volleyball team. And I heard that you also plan to ask her out.”

“Wait…what? No way! I don’t like Makoto-senpai like that! And I think you’re seriously misunderstanding here.” [1]

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure which Makoto you’re referring to but I’m talking about the guy from the swimming club. Anyway, the reason I said that was because I admire him. He’s very athletic and passionate about swimming. I know it has nothing to do with volleyball, but I heard he gives out excellent training tips. I was hoping that we’d meet up sometime to discuss what I can do to increase my strength and stamina.”

“Oh…” you nod slowly before embarrassment shows on your cheeks. “Oh! Oh my -I’m so sorry for assuming things.”

“I-it’s fine.” He looks away to hide his cheeks that matched yours. “You can m-m-make it up to me by letting me take you o-out on a d-d-d-date.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you on a date? I technically did confess first.” With your face burning a deeper red and a shy smile, Kageyama felt his heart pump faster.

“But I l-liked you first so I should be the one asking.” He argues childishly, slightly disappointed that he didn’t get to confess to you beforehand. But that disappointment didn’t stay long since he was more than happy to hear your feelings.

“Is that so?”

“Mm.” He firmly answers.

“All right, well, I’m free Friday night. Does that work with you?”

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up at your place at 7?”

“It’s a date.” You take a step closer to him and lightly kiss his cheek. “See you then!" 

He watches you turn towards the direction of your house, your figure becoming further away from him. Shaking himself from the slight daze caused by your kiss, he quickly follows you.

"W-wait!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[1] Free! :p

[delimeful]

Community Gardens

this is a donation drive commission for @htmlfroggy! based on the prompt: platonic intrulogical g/t & the song ‘community gardens’ by the scary jokes! this is my first time trying a songfic, so i hope its good!

warnings: remus and all the vaguely squicky things he says, illness, misunderstandings, small mentions of body horror

-

Full disclosure, I am a monster A creature of despair, not that that should be a cause for concern If there's one thing I've learned in all my years here It's that despair is less abundant in those who understand How to plant their hearts in community gardens

-

Logan first met his best friend because he was investigating rumors of a human lurking around the border of his forest. 

He had his doubts, of course; ever since he’d personally visited every human settlement on the perimeter of his woods, the ritual sacrifices done to ‘appease the monsters’ had quickly come to a halt, and the amount of angry humans out for vengeance had dropped concurrently. 

When he gently pushed past the boughs of the saplings marking the border, however, there was indeed a human crouched on the ground, seemingly buried up to his elbows in mud. They looked up at Logan’s approach, and the giant was prepared for a number of reactions to his presence. Swearing, screaming, slumping over in a dead faint. 

Plenty had responded to him like this in the past, and plenty more certainly would in the future. It came with being a monstrous giant.

The human offering him a slightly unhinged grin and a mud-slinging wave wasn’t one of the responses he had prepared for.

As such, his reply was uncharacteristically tentative, as though his voice would snap the human out of the peaceable trance they were in. “...Greetings. I am Logan, denizen of this forest. I’m here to inquire into what you’re doing here at the edge of the woods.” 

“Ooh, an interrogation!” The human didn’t stand, craning their neck back at a painful-looking angle to see him properly. “What if I don’t want to say, huh? Are you gonna grind me into bone meal under your heel?”

Logan blinked. The fear that normally would accompany such words was still completely absent. “No. I will not be harming you unless you move to harm those under my protection.”

The human sighed, almost disappointed. “Yeah, I didn’t take you for the type. Oh, well, guess we’re both leaving unsatisfied then.” 

Logan waited a moment longer, and then sighed lowly, before lowering himself to sit amongst his trees. The human cocked an eyebrow, looking as though another inappropriate comment was on the tip of his tongue. 

“If you don’t wish to explain yourself, then I will be supervising your excursions as the guardian of these woods,” Logan announced, sure that his cold gaze would at least give the strange human some pause. 

Of course, because they seemed to delight in proving his assumptions wrong, the human just stared for a moment before a wide, enthusiastic smile spread over his face. 

Logan sighed again, and steadfastly ignored the bright flare of curiosity the human had sparked in him. Most likely, they were simply a thrill-seeker, looking for an adventure like all the epics humans told about interacting with giants. Surely, they’d grow bored soon enough.

-

You'll be fine, you honeycomb Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so cold? You'll be fine, oh honey pie Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so unkind?

-

“Who did it?” 

The half-growl in Remus’ voice was enough that his gaze was immediately drawn away from the Lewisia cotyledon that he had been carefully coaxing root rot from. 

His unruly human acquaintance had apparently gotten closer while he was distracted, abandoning his small plot of freshly-turned soil and haphazard seedlings. It was a break from their typical engagement, where Logan remained in the treeline and Remus remained rooted in his strange, barely-edible ‘vegetable garden’ as they talked. 

“What do you mean?” he replied once he’d processed the strange question. “Is something amiss?” 

“Is your brain made of stone?” Remus shot back sharply, and Logan’s eyebrows drew together automatically at the insult. The human barely seemed to notice, thankfully. “Of course something’s amiss, you’re bleeding out all over the place!” 

He pointed emphatically, and Logan realized what the human was so up in arms about even as he turned to look. On his left side, stretched over his ribs, a long gash was slowly trickling sap-like ichor. The wound had been mostly hidden by his left arm, but in turning to focus on a new plant, he must have accidentally displayed it to the human. “Ah. Do not be alarmed, it’s a shallow wound and will scab over shortly--”

Remus waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t insult me, I know that much from the look of it alone! What I don’t know is: Who. Did. It?” 

Logan frowned briefly. He wasn’t sure why the human wanted to know, but he certainly wasn’t in the habit of denying anyone information. “I wasn’t informed of their name. A Jorōgumo sought sanctuary, which I granted, and approximately half a day later, a human mercenary attempted to breach the forest borders.” 

“And you killed the bastard?” Remus asked expectantly. Logan couldn’t help the minute flinch that traveled through him, the way his face shuttered back to cold neutrality. He’d thought… It didn’t matter. It was his own fault for believing that the man saw him in any other way. 

“No. I warded the forest against them with a bit of their blood. Once they realize the wards are impenetrable, I believe they will move on to an easier bounty.” 

“Not if I get to them first,” Remus replied cheerily, spinning his slightly-rotted wooden trowel in his hand. Logan felt a thrum of alarm at the idea of him getting in an altercation with a mercenary, though he wasn’t sure why. If two outsiders got in a fight, it was technically out of his jurisdiction.

“You most certainly will not attempt to hinder their departure,” he said firmly. “It would be detrimental to all parties involved.” 

Remus visibly pouted, before sighing and throwing the trowel at the ground hard enough to half-bury it. “Fine, Beanstalk, but at least let me—“ 

He stepped forwards, even closer, and Logan stiffened, all-too-aware of how small the human was compared to him. “What are you doing?” 

His voice came out slightly shriller than normal, and Remus jerked to a stop instantly, glancing up at him before turning his head away, something in his expression dropping. 

“I was just… nothing. Forgot for a second,” he muttered, bringing his hand up to inspect his dirt-encrusted nails. He continued before Logan could ask what exactly he’d forgotten that had prompted such a bitter expression. “Anyways, I’m sure you’re tired of babysitting, so I’m heading back. Seeya, Colossus.” 

Logan watched as Remus whistled off-tune as he turned away,  his shoulders drawn just slightly too-tight, and felt as though he’d missed something important.

-

The culmination of man's mistakes came the day The sun ran so hot, it turned the desert to glass If there's something to be learned from all these losers It's that the price that you pay For arrogance and a false sense of immunity Is to face the wrath of a dying star

-

For the next few moon cycles, Remus barely appeared at their-- his makeshift garden, and when he did, he was simultaneously more subdued and twitchier than usual. He almost always left early.

Logan knew, logically, that he should be glad for this development. The human’s basic survival instincts had clearly finally kicked in, and he was distancing himself appropriately from a monster. It was what he’d been expecting from the beginning, and better that it had happened now rather than go on any longer, what with how… worked up he was over it. 

Ridiculous. He sighed through his nose and turned away from the cluster of bleeding Hydnellum he’d found, attempting to force his thoughts away from the human and what his reaction to such a unique-looking mushroom specimen would have been. He needed to focus on his duties as the curator of these woods. 

However, it seemed fate had other ideas, for it was only a few groves later that he was called upon by a Hamrammr, Alda, who had been wearing the form of a large wood grouse for the past few seasons. 

“I have news on your human,” she said, and her tone was urgent enough that Logan forewent reminding her that Remus was not ‘his’ human. “One of my flock saw him dragged into a town jail two days past, and he hasn’t emerged since.” 

Logan attempted to ignore his quickening heartbeat. He couldn’t jump to conclusions. “Which town?”

Alda watched him keenly for a moment. “The populous one to the northeast of our territory. Be careful, Curator. You know the laws of these woods apply to even you.” 

Logan nodded sharply, and then was moving. Once he reached the fields between his woods and the human settlement, he took a deep breath to clear his mind. Barging into the humans’ space like this would hardly be appropriate, seeing as he worked to keep them from doing the very same to him. 

Instead, he folded in on himself like a withering plant, ignoring the painful cracking of wood and bone as he took on a smaller form. A simple glamor to match, and he didn’t receive a second glance as he walked the streets as an average traveler. 

An average traveler could find someone willing to gossip easily enough. And if Remus would fear him less in a reduced form, that was just a completely unintentional bonus.

“Criminals? We don’t have many here, and none with a valuable bounty.” 

“Really? I believed I heard whispers of a recent arrest,” Logan replied, completely truthfully.  

The shopkeep waved his hand dismissively. “Oh, yes, the resident cursebearer was found guilty of conspiring with the beasts of the enchanted wood to try and bring destruction upon our humble town, but as I said, no bounty--” 

“The denizens of the woods are forbidden from attacking nearby towns,” Logan recited automatically, his mind racing. Remus was a cursebearer? The practice of directing all the magical and non-magical curses of a town onto one individual was archaic, barbaric, and… explained a lot about Remus’s behavior, actually. There was a strange pit in his stomach at the thought.

“That’s what the giant told everyone, but how are we to really trust the word of a monster? Besides, the cursebearer was witnessed haunting the edges of the woods, speaking with that very giant!” Logan kept his face carefully neutral as the shopkeep shook his head. “It’s just too suspicious. He could have struck a deal, could already be one of those beasts at this point, and he spent enough time dragging filth through our streets as it is. Good riddance, I say.” 

The shopkeep broke off as he turned away, hiding the crack in his expressionless mask. Logan barely heard the resulting questions as he walked away with sharp steps.

The next morning, the town woke to the sight of half the jail’s roof torn clean off, and one very distinctive prisoner missing. 

-

You'll be fine, you honeycomb Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so cold? You'll be fine, oh honey pie Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so unkind?

-

Logan carefully cradled the human’s limp form in one hand, seated in their usual spot at the edge of the woods. He hadn’t expected to be so obvious in his retrieval of Remus, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it, either. 

When he’d successfully infiltrated the jail, he’d been subject to an embarrassing lack of control over his magic at the sight of Remus. The human had been barely-conscious, wrists shackled to the wall of his cell and a sickly pallor to his skin. It looked as though what little he’d been fed had been expunged in fits of sickness. 

Worst of all, he’d managed to focus on Logan’s frozen form after a moment, and a haphazard expression of delight had spread across his face. “Itty bitty Logan,” he slurred feverishly, “man, did I die al’rdy? Good. Missed ya.” 

Logan’s grip on his shapeshift had snapped as though he was a youngling again, and somewhere between caving the ceiling in and rusting the cuffs away, Remus had fallen back to unconsciousness. Even now, as the sun rose, he was uncannily still, only the rasps of each shallow breath proving his life intact. 

“I’m unsure what to do,” Logan confessed, studying Remus’s frame. The human was so small without his usual exuberant gesturing. His wrists oozed where the manacles had been, human flesh scabbing over so much slower than Logan’s would have. “I cannot abide the thought of sending you back to live with people who treat you like that, but to bring you into the woods would bind you to them in a way that could not be undone. Bind you to me in a way that could not be undone. I doubt you’d want that.” 

“Are you… stupid?” 

Logan jolted at the voice, mocking but almost a whisper for how loud it was. “Remus?” 

The human was squinting up at him, and even those few words sent him into a fit of coughing. Logan hurriedly drew morning dew up from the nearest saplings and pressed the liquid to Remus’s lips. 

“Don’t waste energy,” he chided; Remus flipped him off. “I apologize for… handling you while you were unconscious, but we cannot waste time. You are seriously ill, and need treatment. Do you have anyone who can provide it? Cost is no obstacle.” 

Remus snorted audibly, and opened his mouth for a heartbeat before his face pinched in with resulting pain. He shook his head with an eye roll. Logan tried not to feel frustration at his friend’s lackadaisical attitude towards his own health, and failed.

“This is not a joke, Remus! If you don’t get immediate treatment, your only options will be making a contract with my forest, or death.” 

Remus held up a finger.

“First option,” he croaked. “Stone for brains.” 

Logan was rendered speechless for a short moment, his fingers curling up around the human. “Wh— Remus, you can’t give up on human treatment so rashly. A contract will change you. You’d be, for lack of a better term, stuck with me until you made a full recovery and paid back the debt at the very least.”

Remus hacked out something that might have been another insult to Logan’s intelligence, and he held up his pointer finger more emphatically. “First option. We’re— ‘m your friend. Not scared of you, big fucking nerd. That’s my final word… maybe liter’lly.” 

And because he was as dramatic as he was vulgar, Remus chose that moment to let his eyes roll back in his head. 

His heartbeat loud in his ears, Logan took a deep breath, pushed all of his concerns and doubts aside, and stepped into the woods. 

-

The years have been hard on this lonely heart If you wanna know the truth There's no more community gardens So I guess I'll have to settle for you

-

“I don’t get it,” Remus mentioned one afternoon, watching Logan finish the last touches of a seal for a dryad’s lightning wound. “If you didn’t know I was a cursebearer, and you didn’t even end up caring I was a cursebearer anyway, why didn’t you ever let me near you when we hung out?”

Logan pressed the seal into the tree and glanced over at him, sighing with exasperation upon seeing him picking at the turmeric leaves ringed around his healing wrists. At least he couldn’t reach the ones working to repair his lungs.

“You’ll agitate your wounds if you do that,” he chided, reaching over to lift him from the mossy, oversized log he sat on. As always, he hesitated a moment before making contact, and as always, Remus leaned up in advance to greet him, as though being carried in the palm of a giant was not only normal, but also the only form of transportation he’d ever accept. 

“Ooh, sounds fun.” Remus grinned mischievously but did indeed stop uprooting the plants embedded in his skin. He laid himself out flat on his back instead, an arm and a leg dangling over the edges of Logan’s curled hand, uncaring of the cool forest air rushing past him as Logan walked. “You still haven’t answered my question, though.”  

“I’m not sure I fully understand it. You’re asking why I didn’t physically interact with you, before, but I believe the answer is obvious.” Logan adjusted his woven sleeve cuff absently. “I simply… found your company enjoyable and didn’t wish to scare you off, I suppose.”

He waited for the typical laughter that came whenever he implied that maybe Remus should be wary around him, since he was by most human definitions, a literal giant monster. It didn’t come. 

Instead, Remus’s face was scrunched up in thought. “So… it was because you wanted to keep being friends. And not because you thought I was gross, or repellant, or better off as juicy blood mulch, or--”

“If anyone wants to mulch you, Remus,” Logan interrupted neatly, “they will have to go through me first.”

“...Not if I get to them first,” Remus responded, a slow grin building on his face. “Since we’re friends and all.” 

“That completely counteracts the point of my protection, but yes,” Logan said, a small smile of his own finding its way onto his face, “we certainly are.” 

[fishylife]

Guess who caved and read all 66 chapters of Painter of the Night? I don’t normally like to read comics that are still ongoing because I don’t like losing momentum while waiting for updates but here I am 🤡🤡

Spoilers.

 I typed this while distracted so sorry for any muddled thoughts.

Story

I am glad that I read up to Chapter 66 because a huge misunderstanding was cleared up (the fact that Nakyum legitimately did not run away this time). I would’ve been pulling my hair out if the misunderstanding went on further (I HATE misunderstanding/miscommunication as a plot device).

A lot of people on the subreddit theorized that this was a huge turning point in the story. For the first time, we’re seeing Seungho show legitimate remorse and sadness over Nakyum’s suffering. Hopefully we’re going to see change his behaviour and act more reasonably towards Nakyum, and be more communicative about why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Though I think Nakyum is still a bit confused about his feelings for Seungho, he’s past the point of hating Seungho and wanting to leave. He said that he’d tried to run away before but he had nowhere to run to. He acknowledges that Seungho is a constant in his life, a protector and an indirect caregiver. But he’s still struggling with his feelings for Seungho.

In that way, Seungho and Nakyum are sort of opposite. Seungho recognized his romantic love for Nakyum first, but he couldn’t see how he was hurting him. As for Nakyum, he figured out how he could make Seungho happy early on, but he’s still struggling a bit with regards to how he feels about Seungho, likely because a part of his heart is still with Inhun. Again, he definitely recognizes Seungho as his protector (he’d instinctively called out to Seungho for help when he was kidnapped), but he’s still struggling over whether he’s in love with him.

This week we’re getting a continuation to the spinoff story so we won’t see the story pick up again until next week.

I do think the spinoff story is interesting. Currently, Seungho holds a lot of power over Nakyum, both in terms of political/administrative power, and physical power. But with Seungho as a peasant and Nakyum as a son of a noble family, Nakyum holds the social power over Seungho and it evens up their power dynamics a bit, which I do like. It feels safer for Nakyum lmao.

In terms of the style of story telling, it’s mostly angst, I’ll be honest. And it is rather melodramatic because miscommunication tends to be something the author uses quite a bit as a storytelling technique. Luckily, they’re not dragged out for too long.

Art

The art is pretty nice. It’s all in full colour, which surprised me. The art is extremely detailed. I wonder how the artist can do so much in a week lol. I hope they’re not overworked.

Seungho

Both Seungho and Nakyum have had their share of past trauma, but my thinking is that they’ve manifested in different ways.

It’s implied that Seungho’s father knew about his sexuality from a young age and tried to treat it through medical means and then by locking him up, which effectively stopped his education, despite him having been a bright student. Seungho then lived out his young adult days in debauchery. Early on, he implied that he was just living by his father’s principles, or something along those lines. My guess is that his dad left him behind so he could debauch in isolation without affecting the rest of the family.

So Seungho grew up without many close friends. He was surrounded by servants and yes men (like Jihwa) who would not call him out on his bullshit. So I think that’s how he developed his extremely bossy and abusive behaviour.

Why Nakyum was different for Seungho was that initially, he didn’t have power over Nakyum. He would tell him to do things, but Nakyum would not necessarily heed his commands, not painting, or trying to run away. His heart was still fully loyal to Inhun. So I think that was why Nakyum elicited extra violent behaviour from Seungho. Seungho had never been defied like this.

But I think Seungho was also intrigued by Nakyum. Nakyum was a contradiction because he drew smut but was always super embarrassed when faced with sexual situations irl. Seungho should've felt better when Inhun was sent away and Nakyum became submissive during sex and yet that’s when Seungho felt like something was wrong. Nakyum just kept eliciting unexpected emotions from Seungho. I definitely think Seungho saw him as a plaything at first, but came to care for him after he got to know more about him and his personal life.

Nakyum

Nakyum also came from a tough background. He was an orphan, and was raised along kisaeng ladies. Inhun was the first authority figure whom he’d had a positive impression of, and he latched on to him. He admired Inhun so much that he tried his best to listen to him when he told him not to draw erotic art anymore.

Inhun unfortunately didn’t see their relationship the same way. He showed a kind face to most of his students but he looked down on their lowly statuses. Only when he saw Nakyum as a pawn, did he give him attention. But he never hid his emotions, visibly expressing his anger when Nakyum wasn’t being a good spy, brushing off Nakyum’s confession of love.

Nakyum’s love for Inhun was so extremely pure and all-consuming. I cried when he was so swiftly rejected and condescended upon by Inhun T_T Because I knew how much courage it took for Nakyum to confess, how he wanted nothing but for Inhun to have good things, and Inhun cared not for any of that because it wasn’t want he wanted. Nakyum wasn’t helping him in the way he needed, and he cared far more for ambition than romantic love (not to mention romantic love from a lowly peasant).

After the rejection, Nakyum internalized Inhun’s words when he called him a prostitute. A part of him still loved Inhun and if he said that, Nakyum figured he must’ve been right. The other part of him decided that acting submissively to Seungho was the only way to survive.

Basically, Nakyum’s going through a huge emotional journey because his hero Inhun has kind of abandoned him (though he hasn’t forgotten him completely), but Nakyum hasn’t found a worthy person to give his heart to.

Seungho & Nakyum

I’m still thinking about their relationship and why we ship them despite the shit they’ve done (mostly the shit that Seungho’s done to Nakyum).

For Seungho, I think Nakyum was the first person he met who had a different way of expressing love. He’d never met someone like Nakyum who would stuff he despised just to help out Inhun. Even when Inhun didn’t show an inkling of appreciation. Perhaps Seungho felt that he didn’t know what love was until he met Nakyum.

As for Nakyum, he theorized that he was only desperate for affection and that was why he felt himself drawn to Seungho. I think that is technically true. But more than that, I think Seungho has arguably shown more levels of care to Nakyum than Inhun has. Yeah, Seungho has done horrendous stuff to Nakyum, but he’s also shown more affection to Nakyum. That includes physical affection, but Seungho also bought him warm clothes, called on a doctor to care for his health, etc. Again, all of the care absolutely does NOT cancel out the abusive behaviour on Seungho’s side, but that’s how I think Nakyum found himself feeling more and more comfortable with Seungho. Loving someone is about showing your bad sides as well as your good sides.

I think both Seungho and Nakyum are finding affection/care in forms that they’d never experienced before, and that’s why they are drawn to each other.

Problematic?

I had a feeling that this would be a story that a lot of people would consider problematic. It’s probably because I’m older now, but it doesn’t really bother me. I obviously know that there is toxic behaviour shown by the characters and I would never want that in real life, but it’s really not difficult for me to separate what works in fiction vs. what works in reality.

This was a different time period, when rich and powerful people could just do whatever they wanted. Not excusing problematic behaviour, just explaining the entitled behaviour of some of the elites.

Seungho for sure shows extremely toxic behaviour. I think the point is that he is a problematic man who has trouble expressing emotions the normal way, and it ends up hurting those around him and those he cares about. He’s definitely an imperfect person who’s unpleasant to be around, but I think one thing the author wanted to show is that bad people are still capable of having emotions. By no means do I excuse his toxic behaviour. But I am all for showing that flawed people are still worthy of attention. We are still interested in what Seungho does in spite of his poor behaviour because we recognize that he is still a person.

I also recognize that Nakyum is woobified a lot. He’s constantly put in situations where he is the victim and he doesn’t/can’t fight back. In the latest event with Jihwa ordering Nakyum’s kidnapping/murder, the Nameless one had threatened Nakyum’s life so that he wouldn’t reveal the fact that he’d kidnapped him, and that caused all of Seungho’s meanness in the past few chapters. I recognize that whump is a popular trope, but usually because it ends in comfort. (I specifically can’t enjoy whump if it doesn’t end in comfort) It sets up a situation in which it feels reasonable for the victim to receive comfort. Again, this is stuff that I only enjoy in fiction. I recognize that in real life, people shouldn’t have to get hurt to be worthy of love and care. But I can see why people may say that Nakyum being the victim might be a problem.

Other

I thought Jihwa & the Nameless one were going to be a side pairing from the moment I saw the Nameless one’s jaw lmao. It was angular and I was like, that’s a handsome man’s jaw. I’m glad that Jihwa realized before hurting Nakyum that he couldn’t possibly fix his relationship with Seungho anymore. He recognized that even with Nakyum out of the picture, Seungho wouldn’t want to come to him. Seungho’s mind would always be filled with Nakyum, and if Seungho had found out that he was behind the murder, he’d hate Jihwa even more. Like Nameless one, despite the despicable things that Jihwa had done, I did pity him. He was in love with Seungho for a long time, and thought that giving him everything he wanted (including letting him have sexual relations with others) would endear himself to Seungho. But they were just not meant to be.

But Min implied that Jihwa had crossed the line already this time by kidnapping Nakyum. After the happenings of Chapter 66, Seungho’s going to have a field day with Jihwa and I’m not sure how he’s going to get out of that one. Not sure if Nameless one can do anything to help.

I don’t know how long this manhwa is supposed to be, but there are several story lines other than Seungho x Nakyum that haven’t been addressed yet. Like I said, I think we’re going to see Jihwa x Nameless one expanded upon a bit. There’s some stuff going on with the Yoon family, since Seungho’s brother keeps coming over. I wonder if Seungho’s going to try starting a career (this isn’t based on anything, I’m just wondering). And I also have a feeling that Inhun might return, which will likely force Nakyum to choose between Inhun or Seungho once and for all.

To be completely honest, I don’t want this manhwa to drag out for too long. For selfish reasons because again I don’t like waiting for ongoing comic chapters. I don’t know how long the manhwa is intended to be, but based on my paragraph above, it’d still take a lot of time for all of those loose ends to be wrapped up. But considering the fact that Seungho and Nakyum’s relationship is probably finally going to get better, hopefully we’re over half way through? Just me being hopeful.

Final

I didn’t write a full review for this on my Dreamwidth because, like, this comic isn’t even done yet. But as you can see, I enjoyed reading it. I feel like I’m missing a hundred things that crossed my mind while reading this. And there are a lot of interesting analysis posts on Tumblr and Reddit that are opening my mind to other interpretations too.

I had a BL manga phase when I was a teenager and now I’m like “...is it time to get back into it?” Lol. In any case, it’s interesting reading BL as an adult now because like I said, it’s so much easier to separate the fiction from the reality now. I can read BL purely as fiction while recognizing what tropes are not healthy, and they don’t diminish the story. It’s melodramatic because it’s exactly that: melodrama.

[k-writer1998]

Who Said Love Was Easy? (1/12)

      There are many different kinds of people who come and go from your life. Some will stay constant and sturdy like a river, growing alongside you, others will come like a whirlwind who wreaks havoc and leaves just as quickly, then there is everything in between. In this twisted maze of connections, that is where our story begins. A steadfast boy, a girl with a past, a little bit of alcohol, mistakes, and some love. Where can you go wrong with that?

angsty fluff

w.c: 1.6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      I didn’t think I would see him, here of all places, but at the same time somehow it seemed appropriate. We did meet for the first time when he was drunk confessing his problems to me after all. Who knew he would start working at one of my favorite pubs? Taking my usual seat by the window in the corner, he came by and took my order. Of course because he was drunk when we met he doesn’t seem to recall our encounter at all. “Jeongin” the name tag says… After receiving my order I took my time enjoying my food and subconsciously my eyes followed him around all night. The first thing I noticed was his line of sight. Whenever he had a spare moment to breathe, his eyes scanned the room for a specific person. Watching them interact though made things very clear. Definitely knew each other before working here and he likes her. I think he started to notice my gaze at some point because he would occasionally throw a confused glance at me which turned irritated as time went on. It wasn’t until it got slow and there were only a few people besides me in the pub before he got frustrated and confronted me as he brought my bill.

“What are you?”

“Someone who has feelings for you?”

      I innocently cock my head to the side, leaning forward and resting my chin on my hand as I smiled up at him. I saw annoyance flash across his eyes before it was replaced with the polite customer service shine again.

“I'm sorry but-”

“You have feelings for her?” I point to the girl manning the cash register before continuing, “I know. If you're someone like me, you can easily tell.”

“Someone like you?”

“How would you say it? Someone who is in love with love? How long have you liked her anyways?”

“I don't think that’s appropri-”

“It's just a question.”

“... Four years,” he mumbled out as he cast a nervous glance at the girl.

“Ah, I see…” 

“Yeah so you should just give-”

“Wait,” I hold up my hand to stop him. “Don’t misunderstand. That doesn't change my feelings for you. That’s not how it works.”

“Feelings? We've only just met.”

“We've met before though, don't you remember?”

      I gave him a cheshire-like grin as his face turned into one of questioning before he shook his head to focus on what he was originally doing, rejecting me.

“Well regardless I'll still like her so you're wasting your efforts.”

“With the few facts about me you’ve just learned, do you really think I would like someone who is only capable of shallow feelings? Don't worry, I know fully well what I'm getting myself into. It was nice chatting with you, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on.”

      With my bill paid I walked off, knowing I left the boy baffled. As I made my exit, his voice carried over the sound of the few patrons in the pub and a pleased smile crept to my face. 

“Who was that?”

“That’s y/n, she’s a regular. She’s sometimes hard to deal with cause of her straightforwardness, you’ll get used to it,” Jaehyung, the owner, laughed.

      I didn’t go to the pub any more than I usually did but true to my word I saw Jeongin every time I was there. Nothing underhanded, apparently fate just decided to align our paths for the time being. I’ve also had the chance to meet and talk to Gahyeon, much to the dismay of Jeongin whose careful gaze eyed me every time I spoke to her. Because of this, every time I try to talk to him, he’s apprehensive as if I would extort money from him or something with this information. He has yet to figure out our first meeting too. I know it's a ridiculous notion to expect him to remember a drunk night, but he wasn’t even trying and I couldn’t say it didn’t hurt a little. Especially because he hasn’t left my mind from that night on. My monologue was cut short by Jaehyung’s voice calling out to me.

“How’s my favorite neighbor?”

“I’m your only neighbor Mr. apartment-at-the-end-of-the-hall.”

“As prickly as always I see. How have you been?”

“The same as I was two days ago when you last asked,” I roll my eyes.

“I know you secretly love me bugging you. You’d probably forget how to speak if I didn’t.”

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes, “how’s business been?”

“Pretty good lately, we’re getting a lot of regulars now because they love the newbies. Like look at that smile, refreshing and endearing.”

      With that our eyes both glanced over to the table Jeongin was serving and it was like literal flowers were blooming over there. It can’t be denied he had that youthful charm to him but I couldn’t fully appreciate his ambiance when there were girls so obviously flirting.

“If you aren’t careful he might take your self-proclaimed spot as the face of the pub because his looks definitely top yours, especially since he’s fresh and young,” I teased to divert my attention from the scene ahead.

“Okay you brat I get it, you want the old man to leave you alone. You don’t have to attack me to tell me,” he whined.

“I’m only stating the facts, don't be a baby.”

      We both laughed and continued to chat more but from the corner of my eye I caught a different watchful gaze. As my eyes fluttered in that direction for a moment, Gahyeon had dropped her gaze frantically. In the next beat my eyes darted to Jeongin, finding him in an instant since I looked for his figure so often, and of course his gaze was on her. Looking back at Jaehyung as he was still rambling and this whole entanglement was going straight over his head but then again he was always a dense one when it came to things like this. Well isn’t this quite the predicament?

      Since I stayed later than usual today Jaehyung told me to wait for him so we could go home together, something about it not being safe. I can literally take a taxi but I’m not one to argue with him, I always lose somehow. I went to help with the dishes while everyone was cleaning the rest of the pub and some time in the middle, Jeongin came in.

“When will you stop this?”

“What? Being a regular? Hate to break it to you but I was a regular before you worked here so I technically have seniority,” I stated lightly.

      My eyes darted to the side to examine his face as my hands moved on muscle memory. He seems to fidget at my response, casting a nervous glance back to the front of the shop. Ah… and here I thought I was getting under his skin and finally had a fraction of his mind for myself.

“I make you uncomfortable don’t I? Not because I like you but because I know, and I’ve been friendly with Gahyeon right?”

      If his eyes widening as big as saucers was any indication, I hit the nail on the head. I felt my pettiness come up and I couldn’t help but scare him a little so that maybe I could occupy his mind just a bit.

“Instead of worrying about what I might say, worry about what I know. You were quite talkative on the night we first met… but I won’t say anything to her. I’m not one to meddle just because I like the person.”

“Ah… uhm, well-”

“You aren’t the confrontational type are you? Cat got your tongue already?” I laugh.

“Well how am I supposed to respond when you already know?” He mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“My bad, sorry. Gotta go.”

      I smirked at his flustered exit, his reactions are so cute. I was half way through drying the dishes when Jaehyung caught me, forcing me to sit on the counter in his line of sight as he finished the rest since I’m “not on his payroll.” Of course, like a magnet, Gahyeon appeared and used chatting with me as an excuse to watch Jaehyung. She has it just as bad as Jeongin does for her except this is new to her… either that or she just doesn’t know subtlety.

“Oh so how do you guys know each other? You seem close," Gahyeon asked.

“We’ve been neighbors for three years, he’s the nosy aunty I never asked for. Right Jaehyung-oppa?”

“Hey, I’m no aunty, there’s only a five year age gap.”

“You are when you nag me about eating and my social life all the time.”

      He scoffs at my snarky comment and I roll my eyes with a smirk. Focusing back on Gahyeon, her smile seemed to be pulled a bit tighter than before. Obviously this interaction only seemed to fuel her suspicions in addition to it not answering her underlying question of our relationship so she tried again.

“You must be a regular because of him then,” she laughs just as Jeongin comes up behind her.

“Of course. It has my two favorite things, good food and my favorite person.”

      My eyes connected with Jeongin’s as the reply fell from my lips, my mixed message registering in Gahyeon’s mind. On the other hand Jaehyung gasped.

“I’m your favorite person?!”

“Who said it was you?” I tested.

“I- If not me, it better be Jimin cause Chan and Younghyun are off limits!”

“Who knows, why does it have to be Jimin-noona?”

      My eyes drag back to Jeongin again and the corner of my lip quirks up just a smidge more as I catch him rolling his eyes at me. 

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Credit for 22-Jump Street 2014 Movie goes to Columbia Pictures & Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Credit for Cuphead Series goes to StudioMDHR

-----------------

it seems that scene is really REALLY popular by fans,

that it has become a meme....I just had to draw it.

sure I can’t make it into animatic, but this is just as good.

I do plan to post this at the other place I go to.

but I think I will wait until later to do it, maybe a hour or so.

the word “Patty-Cake” seem like a good word to put down.

playing patty-cake can be personal to toons.

so yeah I am using the word as a censor for the real word

that is used and well even if I have only seen little bit of clips,

and seen the animatic crossover of the Captain’s Daughter.

I hope to watch the full movie someday.

as for who the Angel (with demon horns headband on to hide the fact she isn’t a demon.) is in this drawing.

she is suppose to be Devil’s Daughter and King Dice’s Step-Daughter.

and no she doesn’t have a Mom,

and the Devil didn’t just create her on purpose.

ya see when a Soul, even a former Angel like Devil,

they can go through a fragmenting, where a piece of their Soul

will break off from their very being and make what is called

a newborn soul, if there are two souls about to fragment

a part of themselves then the two fragments will merge together,

making the newborn soul that is formed have two Soul-Parents instead of one.

so yes the daughter in this drawing

was born Soul-Asexually.

and I know I said this before

but I will say it again, that the Asexual Reproduction

should not be confused for the Asexual Identity,

even if you only use the word “Asexual”

and could mean one or the other, it is best to be clear so there is no misunderstandings.

speaking of identities, I wonder if it is normal to form

a type of Species Identity?

is it weird the other day ago

I started to think of myself being Demi-Human...?

well with the soul/spiritual heritage I have,

I guess I would still be a Demi-Human either way.

I mean try to hope that me having Vampire heritage was just a prank,

but my pendulum gave another Yes about it,

went Yes again when I asked if my spiritual heritage 

is Earth Angel & Succubus.

well spiritual heritage is something you are stuck with for life,

even when you end up being reborn, it will be stuck with you for eternity.

 at least I was given a No when I asked if I have werewolf heritage.

but it be cool if it did give me a Yes about that question.

it did give a Yes when I asked if my Older Brother has werewolf heritage, so if I had to guess, if he supposedly has it,

it would most likely be from his dad.

my pendulum did give a Yes when I asked if my Brother

has Vampire heritage too, and another Yes when I asked if it comes from our Mom.

so if my pendulum isn’t pranking,

that would mean that my brother is like Vampire/Werewolf.

well I know I wouldn’t want to go all drinking the same thing as the full vampires....no thank you.

plus I do like garlic sauce and find it really yummy,

and I have a reflection.

well, even if I am some kind of descendant of some unknown vampire

ancestor (unless it is my and Vlad The Impaler’s shared paternal ancestor, who’s two wives make us distant half-cousins.)

that would only be my biological heritage, my vessel form.

like I said the spiritual heritage is something you are stuck with...

for life and eternity.

at least I got permission to go live with the Divine Mother/Goddess

over at Earth-Heaven/Neo-Heaven...

because of what I am, I don’t think I would fit in very well...

 I know one thing, if it is true that the 9 Circles of Heck

is in the 5th Heaven, then people might not take it very well.

I think I want to see that as a Fan-Headcanon for Hazbin Hotel.

of course it might only be Fan-Canon to a AU of it.

plus hypothetically let’s say that it is true

that the Circles/Rings of Heck/Hell is in the 5th Heaven,

 and is in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss.

wouldn’t that mean that Charlie doesn’t know that her subjects,

both demon-born and former human/sinner-demon,

are technically already in heaven, they are just in the 5th part of it,

but are inside a type of Ring Prison.

wouldn’t that blow one’s mind if that turned out to be canon.

but I don’t think that would be added into those two shows.

but it would still be good and interest for Fanon-AU use.

some stuff that fans come up and theorize,

wont always be canon to the series and that’s fine.

well Starco ended up becoming 100% Canon.

which I think if things turned out different, Star could of ended up with Tom because of that vote/poll.......pretty sure that had something to do with Star and Marco ending up together in the very end.

also while playing Yandere Simulator the other day,

I had figured out that it is a bad idea to take a ring...

cause if you don’t put it in Osana’s bag

or keep it and then try to leave Akademi,

you will get in big trouble, so if you are trying for a Pacifist Route

and only want to befriend Osana and try to get her to be with Kyuji,

then do NOT take that ring that you will find on the rooftop

next to one of those two purple haired sisters.

I had to start all over because of that, of course I still have the save where I fully beat Osana and it now says that the new rival is Amai.

so right now I have two saves, and in the new save I wanted to try to save Osana’s cat and try to get her and Kyuji together.

so far Kyuji has changed himself to look like Osana’s dream guy,

I just hope me leading him to the library and getting him to study,

had helped....

of course when I did help him talk to Osana while hiding behind a tree,

I had to re-send that letter to Osana and tell her about it again,

because when I was waiting behind the school, she was a bit late.

so yeah I had to leave the place and go and send the letter again

and then I had to tell her about it again.

 interesting to know, that before I went to save her cat,

I got the blonde hair dye first (from using Ayano’s computer.)

and then when I ended up at the Stalker’s place,

Ayano’s hair was blonde, so that was fast.

and it was still nighttime in the game too.   

I also decided to join the cooking club,

I think if I am a part of the cooking club it might make it more easy

to try to talk to Amai, at least I can only hope it does.

each time I tried to talk to her in my other save,

she just couldn’t and was busy.

in my other save I am in the Music Club.

when I make another save, I want to try to join a different club.

I am taking a bit of a break from playing the game right now,

I will play more of it later.

I do have a theory about Fun-Girl from Yandere Simulator,

I can’t help but think of her being a like Gaster.

I even did a crossover drawing of Fun-Girl and Gaster.

I will post it up on here too, and also post it over at the other place I go to as well.

anyway back to this drawing, it is a crossover

and it is a reference to that 22 Jump Street Movie,

which once again I hope to watch someday.

and yeah Cuphead is holding a cross, for obvious reasons.

Mugman is of course is still thinking and processing

what Snake-Eyes are talking about.

well we know how it will end up,

and Mugman is going to be very amused.  

I don’t really feel like drawing that, so it’s fine that it is just this.

the OC in this drawing, in the role of the daughter,

might end up being a one-shot character...

if someone wants to do a continue drawing response to this drawing,

like make a short comic or animation of it, I guess I be okay with it...

but the likely of someone drawing a continue/comic version of this,

is perhaps very little and not likely to happen.

but at least I enjoyed drawing this.

I think sometime I will post a song I wrote a few years ago,

when I was in a very dark place, I was happy to find out that it survived

after what happen in March this year....

it is something I put some very personal feelings down in the song.

also it’s okay that not many agree with me having a species identity,

I mean if I am Aroaceflux, Gyno-Agender and Demi-Human,

then that’s just makes me, well, me.

even if it it did take me time to figure that out.

I just figured out this year on the Month of May,

that I started to see myself as a Demi-Human.

sometime I should draw three flags

that has to do with the Sexuality, Gender and Species Identities. 

also I need to point out that I have added a certain site

to my list of Semi-Misanthrope.

first I want to say that I have nothing against Jesus,

but that  Jesus-Is-Savior site.......

it is just....I can’t stand it, Rock’N Roll ain’t evil,

I mean there can be mature rock, but there are different forms of music.

 and even if someone is homosexual or homoromantic,

outside the human body and at the core of the soul,

we may appear Masculine or Feminine, but the soul doesn’t have a biological sex/gender, and has no organic binary.

plus if a man did like other man in his present life,

were to be reborn as a woman in his next life and still like men in her new life where she is reborn as a woman,

would that still make her a homosexual...?

I think that truth would kind of make anyone think.

if when I do get reborn, I don’t EVER want my biological body

to be male....I feel more comfortable with the other, and if it takes me time to figure out I am Gyno-Agender in that next life, then it’s fine by me too....

I don’t know if the humans who dislike homosexuals,

really think about the logic that has to do with when a human dies,

if they become reborn into a different bio-gender/sex

they might still be attracted to the guys or gals that they were in their past life.

I hope my explaining about that doesn’t get misinterpreted.               

I don’t like when my words end up misunderstood.

well small misunderstandings okay, but when it is big and ends up hurting feelings then that is really not good.

but yeah, I just don’t like the toxic stuff that is going on in that site.

 maybe I should try not to worry about it.

right now I am listening to some music,

I’m listening to Agnes’s Don’t Breaking My Heart.

anyway, I’m just gonna hurry and post this

and then post that Undertale x Yandere Simulator Crossover.

hope some of you like this drawing,

and I hope some like how King Dice

is making the scary eyes at Cuphead lol.

once again I enjoyed drawing this,

I even drew wedding rings on King Dice and Devil’s fingers.

and them saying the same thing to both Mugman and Cuphead.