#miss u all and i hope ur taking care of urselves
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just a psa that i'm officially going on a little semi-hiatus
#mental health has taken a severe dip and i need to sort things out before i can do literally anything#miss u all and i hope ur taking care of urselves#* OOC.
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the fall of the house of usher AU with the todorokis
#🧚🏽♀️ — luxe chit chat#i cant stop thinking abt how good it was holy moly#im SO hit and miss with mike flanagan but i rly rly enjoyed it all#VICTORINES EPISODE WOW#i love how shitty the wholeeee family is i feel like u could definitely do something fun with that plot for an AU with the todorokis#touya would be napoleon#like i will not accept any other character for him#i havent thought abt the rest but this concept is so so sooo fun i love messy family stuff#i heard someone say it reminded them of succession which ive never seen so#maybe i should watch succession#ANYWAY i hope ur all good sorry i havent been as chatty lately#my anxiety has been so bad after my friendship breakup#im still goin thru it and my emotions are a rollercoaster but im doing my best yk#i am gonna try and get back into writing and creating stuff#hopefully will have something to post today or tomorrow#im editing a draft i had from before all of the drama so fingers crossed!!#take care of urselves and have nice days everybody mwah mwah
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hi, it's been a while huh. how r u all? i hope u've all been taking care of urselves !! i didn't intend to take this long of a break but life has been.. well.. life 😶🌫️ (rambles below.)
i've been wanting to come back a few weeks ago but every time i logged back onto the app, my brain n insecurities would eat me up so i'd log back out n tell myself tmrw will be different. ig i've lost the confidence in my writing n have become insecure about my abilities. have this nasty habit of comparing myself to others n thinking that there's no need for me to come back/post bc there's always gonna be someone better than me, aha (insecurities r fun, yknow) bUT enough of the oversharing bc i feel weird n awkward, i have been writing in my spare time n i have finally finished my jisung bday piece which i will post soontm (once i've polished it up) n i've got some other stuff that's completed which i will also post !!
anywhoo–lets talk !! how r u all? how was ur halloween? did u dress up? if so, what?! o: i did a last min halloween make-up n i did choso bc.. well.. i don't think i need to explain why, hihi 🥵🥵 if u don't celebrate halloween, what did u do anyways?! what have yall be doing? hows life for yall?
how's kpop btw? i haven't been keeping track of anything lately (aside from the riize situation) ik skz announced a cb n im excited but im not? idk, i find comebacks veeeery stressful n very overwhelming 😅 hope yall got tickets btw !! 🙂↕️ ( cries in eu n poor ) hanji casually revealing that he has another tat on his side which, omg he has another tat BUT also, sad bc NO MORE CROP TOPS 😭💔
oH. let's talk about ARCANE??!!! ✨ cinema ✨ i haven't cried that hard over a show in a veeeeerry long time. sad it's over n they won't be making another season, but im excited to see what other regions of ruintera they'll explore 👀👀
more league stuff, aha; BUT WORLDS FINAL?! ofc t1 won 🤭 i watched it with my bf n just,,, woooow!! gutted i couldn't go see it live bc they held the ceremony in london but it is what it is 🙂↕️ the open ceremony was *chefs kiss* ashnikko was my fav. linkin' park.... eeeh. idk. for a worlds song, personally, i don't like it.. (sry)
but yeee, aside from that, life has been a little iffy lately but i'm back (kinda. im nervous af to come back so uuh, be gentle with me. tack! 🥺) to write n post as much as i can (uni started. bye bye free time) but i hope ur all well n i've missed being here n interacting with u ❤️🩹
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it’s been so long since i’ve been on here and honestly i didn’t ever think i was gonna come back. i don’t know if the people i met or the friends i made on here are still here but if u guys are still here then i just wanna give everyone a big hug.
nothing feels the same anymore. it feels as if my whole world has been snatched away from me and there’s such a big gap in me that’s sadly never gonna be filled. i feel so empty and numb and regardless of having gone thru something similar before it still hurts so much.. it’s so painful. i end up crying whenever i see him but at the same time i end up going to search for him on my own bc i’m still not ready to let go of him yet and i’m scared that if i don’t end up seeking him then he’ll just be a memory somewhere along the line and i don’t want him to be that, just a memory. i’m so scared of losing him and him just disappearing slowly and the world moving forward as the days goes on as if nothing happened. as if he didn’t even exist in the first place.. i know the pain is gonna lessen as the years goes on but i don’t think i’ll ever be ready to say bye to him fully.. like i’m still feeling so numb i don’t think i even wanna fully accept that he’s just not here anymore.
my heart truly goes out to anyone who knew him and to everyone who loved him. he truly was such a wonderful person. someone who gave many warmth and im gonna miss that smile of his so badly. the smile that cheered so many of us. gonna miss his goofy sides too :’) i just miss him so much..
and like i said before idk how many of u guys are still here, especially the 2017 tumblr aroha moots, but if u are here pls don’t hesitate to reach out to me 🤍 i guess grieving together is gonna be a little bit bearable than grieving alone so yeah feel free to come talk to me tho i’m not sure if i’ll be able to respond immediately cause everything sucks and hurts so bad haha but i’m trying my best and i hope u guys will also try ur best and try to take care of urselves 🫂 sending hugs and love to all of u
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jacksonwang852g7: MAGIC MAN WORLD TOUR 2023 MEXICO
Mexico was insane. The level of “no tmr” energy was insane. Im currently taking a 3 days break just brainstorming my next project: drawing, creating and writing ideas to prep for MAGICMAN 2, and this Mexico moment kept coming up in my head.
I don’t think I ever witnessed something this insane and i want to say thank u for making it happen. Thank u for spending that precious time of urs to listen to me, and being in the moment with me❤️ I wish I can go back and relive that moment with u all again.
Mexico was insane… I hope everyone took some thoughts away about urselves that night besides just having fun. I will be back asap. Til then, plz take good care of urselves. Wake up everyday & do what makes u happy. Find ur standard of happiness. Find ur magic
I miss u all already💋
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ARGH okay really quick since i have an exam to study for: the remainders of my nursey week content will be posted by the end of this week at the LATEST!
i have my first exam of the sem tmrw that i am. not ready for. and i have a shit ton of notes to catch up on and projects to start even tho it’s only week 3 but goddamnit if i won’t post my weekly omgcp content-
#g’s screeches#close mutuals! i miss u guys!! catch me on my personal insta where i’m most active or my twt or w/w#*w/e#i’ll still be on tumblr just not as much till later in the week#if we aren’t close mutuals i still love u all! hope ur taking care of urselves <333#it’s super ironic that as an asian person with a deep love for art and was always interested in art history that fuckin.#a contemporary art history class would be the one to make me feel like an idiot#ANYWYAS
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well just woke up guess im not going to work 🤡
#i feel like shit its whatever#i'll get a new job lmao#howre yall doing??#i rly miss interacting w u all but i've been going through it#anyway i hope ur taking care of urselves!#frnk.txt
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i miss y'all </3
#i know ur literally just a click away but omg#work is exhausting#i miss talking to you guys#and creating for u guys !!!#n e ways i hope ur all taking care of urselves :p#<33333#s.txt
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1923, Pt. I - The Day
PAIRING: Harry x Reader RATING: PG (for now) WORD COUNT: 7k REQUESTED: nope
hi everyone! here is PART 1 of my historical AU featuring harry as a groundskeeper/farmhand (i know that those two professions are slightly different but just let me have this ok snfjsjfnsdsf)
warning: parts of this fic will contain mature language and nsfw content. if it makes you uncomfortable, you absolutely do not have to read! take care of urselves <3
this series will be composed of three parts altogether, so i hope u all enjoy this first one! as always, please reblog the fics that you like! and don’t hesitate to send in feedback, i promise that we, as writers, always love to witness your reactions :) anywayyyy now that we’ve covered all the bases, go stupid with 1920s harry! can’t wait to hear ur thoughts 💌💌💌
~*~
July 5th, 1923
“What if he comes back with a beard that goes all the way down to his knees?”
You snort and shake your head. “He’s only been gone for a few months, Dee. I don’t think it’s possible for one’s whiskers to grow that quickly.”
Lydia shrugs, toying with the hem of her pale blue dress. “What if he met an evil witch in New York who cast a spell on him? And now he’s doomed to live out the rest of his life with horrifying facial hair!”
A laugh bubbles up in your throat. I don’t think that there are any witches in New York, you want to say, but you keep your mouth shut. Believing in magic is an integral part of childhood���you don’t want to be the one who takes that away from her. Soon enough, she’ll figure it out for herself.
You wind an elastic around your fingers, securing the end of her braid so that it doesn’t unravel. “That’s one,” you say, sighing quietly. “Turn to the side so that I can start on the other.”
She obeys, angling her head to the left. You gather her dark curls in a loose fist, skimming your nails against her scalp to collect every last strand.
Her hair has grown hot, absorbing the heat of the sun. It’s a beautiful day—there isn’t a single cloud in the sky. The two of you are sitting on the front steps of your home, looking out over the paved circular driveway and waiting excitedly for Andrew’s car to pull up to the iron gate. Realistically, you know that he won’t be here for at least another few hours, but Lydia insisted that you unwind outside to pass the time.
Somehow, she persuaded you to fashion her hair into twin braids. And though you had groaned at the initial request, here you are.
“He’s bringing a friend, you know,” your sister suddenly pipes up. “He told me in his letter.”
“Oh, really,” you say wryly. “And who exactly is this friend of his?”
“Martin Russell,” Lydia says, as though she’s reciting lines for a play. “He graduated from Harvard and then built his own company with nothing but a nickel to his name. Drew says that they’re trying to merge and become an empire.”
“An empire,” you echo, humouring her. “That sounds awfully intimidating, don’t you think?”
“Not to me,” she boasts, lacing her fingers together in her lap and squaring her shoulders. “Drew told me that I’m a businesswoman in the making.”
“That, you are,” you agree. You tie your remaining elastic around her second braid, fastening it in place. “All done.”
Lydia jumps to her feet, tugging down the material of her dress and turning to face you. She strikes a pose, placing one hand on her waist and lifting the other above her head. “How do I look?”
“Stunning,” you say, smiling up at her softly. “You’re the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen.”
At that, she frowns.
“I’m not little!” she protests, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m thirteen and a half!”
“That’s little,” you say, laughing quietly. “Trust me. Once you get to my age, you’ll understand.”
“I’d rather be little than ancient,” she shoots back, sticking her tongue out good-naturedly. You scoff, bringing your fingers up to your forehead so that you can shield your eyes from the sun.
“Twenty-three is not ancient!” you say, baffled.
Lydia just giggles, twirling around a few times and watching the skirt of her dress fan out handsomely. Once she looks up, however, she freezes in her tracks. Your eyebrows knit together as she extends her arm in a frantic wave.
“Hi, Harry!”
You stiffen, reflexively following her gaze.
Harry is about thirty feet from the steps, crossing the driveway with a heavy bag of soil slung over his shoulder. In his other hand, he’s carrying a bucket filled with rusted gardening tools. You had been so caught up in your conversation with your sister that you failed to notice him. He’s making his way toward the pretty garden that separates the entry and exit of the driveway, tucked between the two strips of road and outlined with smooth grey stones.
You swallow forcefully when he pauses at the sound of Lydia’s voice. He turns, and you get a full view of his broad chest, tanned skin peeking out from underneath his white shirt. Brown trousers cover his legs, held up by matching suspenders. His black boots are speckled with dried mud—you guess that he’s just come from the stables in the back.
Upon catching sight of your sister, he smiles and begins to walk over. You shift quickly, trying to focus on something—anything—else.
“Good afternoon, little bug.” Harry’s tone is deep, slow, rough. It sends a shiver down your spine. “You alright?”
“Very much so,” Lydia replies, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Harry, how old are you?”
“Twenty-seven,” he replies.
Your sister glances over at you, her brows arched high on her forehead. “He’s practically primeval.”
“Dee!” Her name leaves your lips as an admonishment, but you can’t stifle your laugh.
She just giggles and turns back to Harry; he’s smirking slightly, watching your interaction unfold. “Are you going to be planting more roses?” Lydia asks, changing the subject.
“Yes.” He nods. He sets the bucket down and uses his free hand to realign the bag of soil on his shoulder. “Would you like to help?”
Lydia spins around to face you, her eyes wide and pleading. “Can I? Pretty please?”
“You’re supposed to take Artemis out for a ride,” you tell her, pursing your lips. “You know how antsy she gets when she’s cooped up all day.”
“Can’t you take her out?” Lydia asks, clasping her fingers together and bringing them up to her chest.
“Dee,” you start, shaking your head, “you know I don’t—I couldn’t possibly—”
“Harry,” she says suddenly, glancing down at him from over her shoulder. “Have you been in the stables today? Did you see Artemis?”
Harry hums dutifully. His eyes fall to you—you look away.
“And did she seem anxious at all?” Lydia presses expectantly, placing her hands on her hips.
He hesitates. “Well…no. But if you need to take her out, please do. I’m perfectly capable of planting by myself.”
“Nonsense,” she says, waving away his words. She turns back to you, jutting her bottom lip out into an imploring pout. “Can’t you ask someone else to do it? What about Penelope? Or Beth?”
“Beth’s preparing lunch,” you say, scoffing quietly. “Besides, she refuses to work in a messy environment. What makes you think that she’ll willingly go down to the stables, of all places?”
Lydia frowns, blowing out an annoyed sigh.
“Fine,” she acquiesces at last, rolling her eyes. She spins around, hopping down the remaining steps and fixing Harry with an accusatory glare. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes! Don’t you dare start without me!”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, little bug,” he replies, his lips twitching. You watch as Lydia takes off, her braids whipping in the wind as she sprints toward the side of the house. Once she disappears around the corner and out of your sight, you press your palms to your face, sighing loudly.
“She’s too much,” you mutter, mostly to yourself. Harry chuckles quietly from the bottom of the stairs; you freeze suddenly, remembering that he’s still there.
“I should—” You clear your throat, climbing to your feet. The light material of your dress tickles the skin just below your knees. “I should probably go. There’s still so much to do before Drew returns.”
You’re lying, of course. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“I’m sure there is.” Harry nods, running his fingers through his hair. The dark strands curl beautifully behind his ears. You allow yourself to study them for only a moment before diverting your gaze up to the sky.
“It’s hot—are you thirsty?” you ask, squinted eyes trained on miles of cerulean blue. “I can get Beth to bring you some water, if you’d like.”
“That’d be lovely,” he says. “Thank you.”
You simply hum in response. Your hands are abnormally clammy when you wipe them across the thin petticoat covering your thighs.
“Right,” you say, chancing a glance back down at him. “Well…have a nice day.”
“You too, miss.”
You pause, fiddling with the satin bow tied at the small of your back. “You—you don’t have to call me that, Harry,” you remind him, shaking your head. “How many times must I tell you?”
“My apologies,” he says, shrugging. “Force of habit.”
“It’s alright,” you say, intent on avoiding his gaze. “It just—it makes me feel as though I’m your—your—”
You break off, uncertain of how to proceed. Thankfully, though, Harry seems to understand. He chuckles softly, bowing his chin in agreement. “I know.”
Embarrassment festers in your chest, creeping up your neck and settling into your cheeks. You straighten, swallowing down the hard lump in your throat and retreating toward the door. “Lydia will be back soon, I’m sure. Good day.”
When Harry lifts his head again, his green eyes teem with an emotion that is somehow unrecognizable yet familiar all at once. The gruff timbre of his response makes your stomach churn nervously, flipping your breakfast of fresh fruits and toast. You hate it more than anything else in the world.
You don’t hate him, though.
No…you could never hate him.
“Good day, miss. Ah, I mean—” His face collapses into a grimace. He grunts at the thoughtless error, shaking his head. “—good day.”
~*~
It’s just past three in the afternoon when a car horn honks from outside. Lydia’s shrill squeal of excitement follows soon thereafter.
“Drew!” she cries. She rushes into the front foyer, white shoes squeaking against the polished floor. The bottom of her dress is dotted with faded spots of mud, a testament to her time spent in the garden earlier today.
“Dee,” you scold her, frowning. “I told you to change once you had finished planting.”
“Sorry!” she says, though her tone suggests that she isn’t sorry at all—not in the slightest. “Got distracted!”
She grabs your hand, and you yelp when she gives a mighty tug, towing you outside. You dust off the skirt of your dress, tucking your hair behind your ears and staring at the iron gate in the distance—it’s closing back up, metal spines glinting alluringly in the sunlight. On one side of the driveway, a bright red car rolls along the pavement, tires bumping merrily against the ground. Two silhouettes sit in the front; the man behind the wheel honks the horn again and extends his arm through the window, sweeping it upward in a triumphant greeting.
“Drew!” Lydia repeats. She charges down the front steps, her hands outstretched.
“Be careful!” you call after her, gnawing anxiously on your bottom lip.
The sun is still high in the sky. You crane your neck, surveying your surroundings. Heat rises from the driveway in murky waves, blurring the scenery. The large portico that spans nearly the entire width of your home is lined with bushels of potted plants—roses and peonies and daffodils. The lawn is bright and healthy, spearmint-green grass trimmed to perfection.
Something shifts in the periphery of your vision. Your head snaps to the left.
Harry is there, leaning against the corner of the house. He’s still sporting the same outfit as before, except it’s even more sullied, now. You’re not surprised. Gardening is grubby work, but gardening with Lydia…it’s a miracle that he’s not caked in mud, soiled from head to toe.
On cue, Harry reaches for a dirty rag dangling over his shoulder. He grasps the material with strong fingers, lifting it to his face and wiping down his forehead and his cheeks. You watch him closely, fascinated by the thin sheen of sweat sparkling on his skin.
As though sensing your stare, his eyes dart over, locking squarely with yours.
A soft gasp falls from your lips. You clench your jaw, incontrovertibly caught, and quickly look away.
As soon as Andrew steps out of the car, Lydia launches herself into his arms. He laughs gleefully, catching her with ease and spinning her around. He’s dressed in a cream-coloured suit, the collar of his periwinkle button-up peeking out beneath the lapels. His loafers are shiny and brown; a matching hat is perched atop his head, hiding his dark hair from view. The cap makes his ears stick out even more than usual—upon realising this, you smile.
“Look at how much you’ve grown!” Andrew grunts, setting Lydia back down on the ground. He puts his hand next to her shoulder, as though measuring her against an invisible wall. “The last time I saw you, I could’ve sworn you were only this tall.”
She beams before standing on her tiptoes and poking at his chest. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be gone for so long next time!”
“Touché,” he chuckles, nodding in assent. His fingers find the ends of her braids, fiddling with them absentmindedly. “And who’s responsible for these pretty things, hm?”
“I think we both know the answer to that question,” you interject, making your way down the steps.
Andrew looks up at you and grins widely. You hold out your arms as you approach, and he accepts your invitation with a happy call of your name. He’s tall—a few inches over six feet, if you had to guess. You hug him tightly, burying your face into his shoulder and flattening your palms against his back.
“You look very handsome,” you tell him when you break apart. “I like this colour on you.”
He laughs sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck. “Do you? I was on the fence about it, truthfully.”
“You shouldn’t have been—it looks good,” you assure him, smoothing your knuckles over his collar. “What took you so long? You’re late.”
“Stopped off at the cemetery to visit mum and dad,” he explains. “Changed their flowers, too—calla lilies, this time.”
You nod grimly, pursing your lips. “Mum’s favourite. Excellent choice.”
One of the car’s doors slams shut; the noise pulls your attention away from your brother. You peer past him, eyes landing on the man who has just exited the passenger side of the vehicle. His skin is a fair shade of olive, complimented beautifully by the beige jacket slung over his shoulders. Checkered brown pants cover his legs, and he’s clutching a sturdy briefcase in one hand. Andrew retreats, keeping a palm on the small of your back as he leads you over to his companion.
“Girls,” he says, tipping his cap, “this is my business partner, Martin Russell. Martin, these are my sisters.”
Martin bows his head. “Lovely to meet you both.”
“Are you tired, Mister Russell?” you ask. “It’s been a long journey, I’m sure.”
“I’m quite alright, miss, thank you,” he replies.
You don’t miss the way his amber eyes trail along your figure as he straightens up. You step back before you even have the chance to register what you’re doing.
“Hello!” Lydia—much to your relief—butts in, grabbing Martin’s hand and shaking it frantically. “I’m Lydia. Say, how would you describe your time at Harvard? Did you enjoy it? Was it a lot of work?”
Martin chuckles nervously, taken aback by your sister’s blathering. “Er,” he starts, “I—”
“Dee,” Andrew says, snickering quietly. “At least let the man get settled in before you begin interrogating him.”
“Sorry,” Lydia mumbles, shrinking away.
“That’s alright,” Andrew says, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You’ll have plenty of time to chat with him over dinner tonight, won’t you? Is it true that Beth is preparing my favourite?”
Your sister beams and nods. “I asked her to!”
“That’s very kind of you.” Andrew smiles. He looks up at the house, his forlorn gaze running over the plethora of pale bricks and clear windows. Abruptly, he pauses, squinting and lifting his fingers to shield his face from the sun. “Is that…?”
Your blood runs cold.
Andrew raises an arm high above his head. “Harry!”
And suddenly, staring down at the ground becomes your most pressing concern of the day. Harry makes his way over, a mountain of handsome grime. It’s unfair, really, you think. How does he manage to look so fetching, even beneath a thin layer of soot?
“How have you been?” Andrew asks, surging forward and shaking his hand. “It’s good to see you.”
“Likewise,” Harry replies, grinning. “I’ve been alright. Keeping the garden tame, keeping the stables clean.” He tosses a pointed look in Lydia’s direction. “Keeping this little bug out of trouble.”
“Hey!” she protests, crossing her arms over her chest.
Harry just chuckles.
“I’m happy to hear that,” Andrew says, nodding in satisfaction. “It’s nice knowing that there’s still a man around the house to take care of these two.”
You bristle at his words, scowling in mock-offense. “We are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, thank you very much.”
“I know.” Your brother shoots you a mischievous wink, and only then do you realise that he’s merely trying to get a rise out of you. You roll your eyes, though you can’t quell the fond smile that creeps onto your face.
“Let’s go in,” you suggest. “You can say hello to the rest of the staff, and then we can all wash up before dinner.”
Andrew hums in agreement. He tilts his head to the side, attention fixed almost exclusively on Harry. “You should come, H,” he says swiftly. “It’s been too long; we need to catch up.”
“Drew—” Your shoulders tense, and your nostrils flare. “I don’t think—”
“I’d love to,” Harry interrupts. He hooks his thumbs beneath the straps of his suspenders. “Thank you for the invite, Drew.”
“Of course.” Your brother nods before turning back to Lydia and Martin. “Shall we, then?”
The three of them push between you and Harry, climbing up the steps and disappearing through the front door. Inside, your sister unleashes a stream of fleeting questions: What’s it like in New York? Are the people nice? How was the food? Did you see the Statue of Liberty?
Gradually, her inquiries fade away. You stand there, chest inflated with a held breath and fingers fidgeting anxiously with the skirt of your dress. The sun beats down against the crown of your head, triggering a mild fit of dizziness.
Or maybe that’s just Harry.
“So…,” he begins, blowing out an awkward sigh. “What shall we be eating tonight?”
You scoff, unable to help yourself. “You accepted the offer without knowing exactly what it was?”
“Should I know?”
You swallow heavily, pinning your gaze on the scarlet vehicle still parked only a few feet away. “Minestrone,” you say. The word is clipped. “Drew loves it.”
“I’ve had it,” he tells you. “Beth always saves me a bit if there’s some left over.”
You nod wordlessly.
“Are you upset with me?” Harry asks, digging his hands into his pockets. You’re so taken aback by his question that your head snaps toward him, brows cinched together in confusion.
“What?” The question falls from your lips before you can blink. “No, of course not. Why would you think that?”
“You won’t even look at me,” he hums, shrugging casually.
“I’m looking at you right now.”
“Not before, you weren’t.”
“I—” you break off, pursing your lips and squeezing your eyes shut. You pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers, trying to keep yourself composed. “I have to go.”
“As do I.”
“Right.” You avoid his gaze. “Goodbye, then.” You whip around, hurrying up the steps.
“Goodbye,” Harry replies from behind you. The smile in his voice is painfully conspicuous. “See you at dinner.”
~*~
You’ve just pinned a final clip into your hair when Lydia comes barrelling through your bedroom door with no warning whatsoever. You’ve long since given up on reprimanding her for it. She always forgets to knock.
“Can you button me up?” she requests, spinning around and exposing her bare back.
“Did you run down the hall like that?” you ask, laughing at her eccentricity.
“Yes,” she says matter-of-factly. “But don’t worry—I made sure that the coast was clear.”
“Brilliant. Your reconnaissance skills are truly a sight to behold.”
She scoffs, smiling at you from over her shoulder. “Are you going to help me, or not?”
“Patience, Dee,” you say. You turn back to your own reflection, twirling your finger through a loose strand of hair and letting it fall picturesquely against your temple. “There.”
Her feet scuffle absentmindedly against the floor as you approach her. She’s wearing a pastel pink dress with short, puffy sleeves that cinch at her skinny biceps. The bottom hem of her petticoat tickles her knees, which strain against transparent white tights. You remember wearing something nearly identical when you were her age. The outfit isn’t a hand-me-down, though. The stitching is brand-new, and the fabric is crisp and fresh, like it’s never once seen the inside of a washtub.
“It’s nice having Drew back home, wouldn’t you agree?” you ask your sister. She squeals when the nail of your index finger ghosts playfully up her spine.
“It is,” she concurs as you begin to fasten the clasps at the small of her back. “I’ve missed him terribly.”
“So have I,” you hum, pressing your mouth into a thin line. “There are some things that I could do without, though. Like that comment he made about us not being able to take care of ourselves.”
“He was only teasing,” Lydia says. “You know that. Besides—” She shrugs, puckering her lips idly. “—he was right. Harry does take care of us, even though we may not always need it.”
At that, you pause.
“‘Harry takes care of us’?” you parrot, your brows knitting together. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well,” she starts, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Who trims the lawn and tends to the flowers early in the morning? And who cleans out the stables when they get messy?”
“We pay him to do those things, Dee,” you say, shaking your head slightly. “It’s his job.”
“I suppose you’re right,” she agrees. “But he does so much more, don’t you think?”
You say nothing. She takes your silence as an invitation to elaborate.
“For example,” she says—declares, “he never gets irritated with me whenever I prattle on about my day.”
“Oh.” You smirk. “So you are aware of your tendency to talk too much.”
“Not funny,” she deadpans. You giggle.
“He always lets me follow him around whenever I get bored,” she adds, her eyes glazing over. “And he likes to make sure that you’re alright, too.”
Your fingers fumble with the last button at the top of her dress. You pray that she doesn’t detect the sudden blunder. “How so?” you probe, trying to keep your voice level.
“You know,” she indicates, even though you most certainly do not. “Like today, as we were planting the roses. He asked me how you were doing—if you were eating well, if you were getting enough sleep. Those are fairly standard inquiries regarding one’s wellbeing, I’d say. Do you disagree?”
“No,” you murmur, gnawing on your painted bottom lip. “I don’t.”
You finish your task, fastening the final clasp on her dress and smoothing your fingers down her sides. “There you go,” you say softly, your throat dry. “All done.”
“Thank you,” she singsongs, twirling around to face you. She studies you closely, soaking in the black floor-length gown cascading down your figure. “You look beautiful,” she says, her tone sincere. “Martin’s going to be utterly speechless when he sees you!”
A weak chuckle falls from your mouth. “Shall we go down?” you suggest, wrapping a loose arm around her shoulders and guiding her toward the door.
“Yes, please,” she replies. She places a palm over her stomach, features crumpling into a theatrical scowl. “I’m famished.”
You smile.
And as you exit your bedroom with your sister in tow, you realise that she may have been wrong about which man you’re hoping to impress.
~*~
Dinner is full of surprises, many of which present themselves in the form of Martin Russell. It’s astonishing, you think, because the man who had barely spoken ten words upon first meeting you is now commanding the table at which you’re sat. Andrew is perched at the head, with Martin just off to his right. Lydia is next to him, and you’re directly across from him. And that means that Harry…
Harry is right next to you.
You do everything in your power to avoid looking in his direction. Thankfully, it proves to be easier than expected, considering the fact that Martin has been droning on about his company for the past fifteen minutes. You don’t believe that anyone else has managed to squeeze in a single word.
There’s wine, candles, and the finest china your family owns. But all of that pales in comparison to the man sitting beside you.
Harry cleans up exquisitely. Upon first entering the dining room, you were shocked to find him in a black tuxedo with a white bowtie resting just below his throat. It appears that he even combed and gelled his hair, though some strands have fallen free from the style and now hang down over his forehead. You don’t mind it, though—if anything, it’s a hint of the man you know peeking through. And the man you know is handsome—alarmingly so.
Drew had whistled as you descended the stairs. He then offered you his arm, patting your hand and telling you that you looked wonderful. Martin hadn’t been able to control his reaction, his eyes raking up and down your figure like you were a lavish meal on a silver platter. It had taken everything in you to hide your distaste.
But Harry…
Harry hadn’t said a word. He’d fixed his face perfectly, showing no sign of emotion whatsoever. You’d been hoping for something—anything—indicative of his opinion toward your outfit, but you observed no such consequence. He’d only acknowledged you with a curt nod before settling into his chair and pointedly looking away.
And now, here you are—a bowl of minestrone in front of you, a wineglass inches away from your lips, and an irritated groan simmering on the back of your tongue. Martin’s voice is growing more and more irksome by the minute.
“And then, it was as though they couldn’t get enough—”
“I had assured them that I would bring in at least twice the revenue—”
“It was incredible! I’ve never seen anything like it—”
You polish off the rest of your wine, reaching across the table for the half-empty bottle. No one notices as you pour a bit more of the alcohol into your glass, sneakily surpassing what would be considered appropriate for a lady to consume. You set the bottle back down with a silent huff, lifting the goblet to your lips and letting your attention wander.
You freeze when you catch Harry staring at you out of the corner of his eye. The edges of his mouth are curled up ever-so-slightly, nearly imperceptible. Heat rushes to your cheeks; you gulp down a large sip of wine, averting your gaze.
You deposit your drink onto the pristine white tablecloth, glaring intently at your food. You can feel Harry’s playful stare burning a hole into the side of your head; you suspect that he’s trying his hardest not to laugh.
Your soup has cooled substantially. You shovel a spoonful past your lips, swallowing it with a considerable amount of difficulty. Everyone else has nearly finished their dinner, save for Martin. You want to thrust his face into his bowl—maybe then, he’ll finally shut up.
You lift your wine back up to your mouth. The action draws Martin’s focus. His eyes flit down to your minestrone, and then jump to the other empty dishes around the table. At last, he seems to realise the disparity between your meals, because a small, sheepish smile creeps onto his face.
“Lord,” he chuckles, settling into the cushion of his chair. “You all must’ve been ravenous. I’ve hardly touched my food.”
“It’s hard to eat whilst boasting, I’d imagine,” you mutter into your glass.
A loud, hacking cough breaks you out of your little bubble. Your head snaps to the left. Harry is choking on his own wine, chiseled cheeks growing red with exertion. He curls his fingers into a firm fist, pounding a few times on his chest to dislodge the liquid stuck in his windpipe. Reflexively, you place a hand on his arm, your forehead wrinkling in concern.
“You alright, H?” Andrew asks, leaning forward over his plate.
“Fine!” Harry croaks. He makes an indiscernible gesture with his hand, waving your brother’s worries away. “I’m fine, thanks. Just went down the wrong way, that’s all.”
He coughs again, burying the sound into the crook of his elbow.
You watch him with troubled eyes. When your gazes lock, only then do you realise that your palm is still splayed out over his bicep. You pull away quickly, recoiling as though you’ve just passed your knuckles through an open flame. Harry’s body rumbles as he clears his throat. He hooks two fingers into the collar of his button-up, loosening it from where it’s secured tightly around his neck.
Lydia is talking, now, but her declarations fade into the background. You wish that you could concentrate on them—you really do—but you have more far more pressing matters at hand.
Like Harry shooting you a swift, secretive smile, and every piece of the puzzle clicking perfectly into place.
His unassuming sip…your quiet quip…
He’d heard you.
You sit back in your seat, your ears ringing. Harry places one of his hands on the wooden arm of his chair; his knuckles flex painstakingly. Across the table, Andrew and Lydia have resumed their lively conversation. Martin scarfs down the rest of his soup, trying to catch up. The candlesticks perched between your plates melt slowly, a mess of waxy dribbles and drops.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind, you become aware that—for the first time tonight—no one is paying you any attention. The realisation makes you feel giddy, drunk on power and anonymity.
Or maybe that’s just the wine.
You peer down at Harry’s nails, studying them absentmindedly—they’ve been scrubbed clean.
And before you can even begin to register what on earth you’re doing, you reach out, tracing the veins on the back of his hand with one finger. Harry tenses; his concentration immediately falls to where you’re touching him. When you finally muster enough confidence to meet his gaze, you find him watching you with wide, awestruck eyes.
A small part of you is smug—that’s the reaction you’d been searching for at the beginning of the evening. That’s how you’d wanted him to look at you when you made your entrance, wrapped up in a pretty black gown and layers of opaque red lipstick.
You cease your movements and retract your arm, tucking it back against your side as you turn your interest elsewhere. In the periphery of your vision, Harry has pinned you with an unwavering, stunned expression, his body rooted in place. Despite the rapid thumping of your heart, you keep your gaze trained ahead and your chin held high, pride swelling in your abdomen like a hot-air balloon.
Lydia laughs at something that Andrew says. Martin tugs haughtily at the lapels of his suit. You release a heavy exhale and nudge your bowl a few inches away from your chest, completely sated.
~*~
Once everyone retires to their rooms for the evening, you wait approximately an hour before slipping out. You’re light on your feet, sneaking past Lydia’s quarters and the guestroom that was given to Martin for the duration of his stay. He snores—quite loudly, too. You can hear him as though he’s right next to you, even from where you’re hovering out in the hall.
You make your way down the spiral staircase, heading toward the large double doors leading to the backyard. You quickly tug on a delicate pair of slippers before sneaking out into darkness’ cool embrace. Midnight is only a few minutes away.
You pull your wool cardigan a bit tighter around your torso. The hem of your silk nightgown is shorter than that of a standard dress. The wind nips teasingly at your knees, making you shiver. Blades of grass tickle your ankles as you march toward the stables. There’s a single light hanging above the entrance, bathing the wooden panes in a faint yellow glow. Green grass gives way to dry soil and the odd piece of straw littered across the dirt.
Inside the stables, only two of the six pens are occupied. The first one houses Apollo, Andrew’s stallion. His skin is like chestnuts, his mane the colour of the sun. You’re sure that your brother will take him out early tomorrow morning—you doubt that he was able to find many docile steeds in the bustling streets of New York.
You bypass Apollo completely, stopping in front of your horse—Artemis.
She’s a sight to behold, white skin and jet-black hair. She reminds you of the first snowfall of the season: crisp and pure, untainted by footprints and pollution and everything else in between. She’s been your partner in crime for the past decade, even though you’ve spent the last few years simply guiding her along with your feet on the ground and a hand tangled in her reins.
Somewhere beneath the rational layer of your brain, you like to think that she sympathizes with your hesitation to get back on the saddle.
“Psst!” you hiss, leaning against the wooden gate of her pen. “Artemis! Come here, my love.”
She lifts her head up from the floor, chewing on a handful of hay. You dig your fingers into the material of your cardigan, producing a sugar cube from the depths of your left pocket. Artemis’ nostrils flare as you hold it out in your palm; she trots over happily, drawn to the sweet treat.
“Haven’t come to visit you in a few days,” you murmur as she dips her mouth against your hand. You stroke your knuckles down the side of her neck, petting her softly. “I’m sorry about that. Things have been so chaotic back at the house. I’ve barely gotten a moment to breathe.”
She whinnies quietly.
“Did you miss me?” you ask. When she nuzzles her nose into your arm, you smile. “I missed you, too. I thought that maybe you were developing a preference for Lydia. But that’s not possible, is it? I’m your favourite.”
Someone clears their throat from behind you. You gasp and whip around, hands flying to your chest. Your gaze locks onto an amused smirk and a pair of impish green eyes, and your stomach lurches uneasily.
“Hello,” you stammer, air caught in your lungs.
“Hello,” Harry replies.
He’s still dressed in his attire from dinner, though his appearance is significantly more relaxed. He’s abandoned the white bowtie and undone the top two buttons of his shirt, allowing his collarbones to peek out from beneath the pallid fabric. The cuffs of his suit have been rolled up, and his hair has completely fallen from its acute coif. Glossy strands tumble down around his temples, curling in a way that makes you want to reach out and touch them.
“What are you doing here?” you ask. You hope that he doesn’t hear the twinge of embarrassment in your voice. He caught you in the middle of a one-sided conversation with your horse, after all.
Harry holds up his hand. There’s a pale pink envelope clutched between his fingers.
“Post,” he says, like it’s the only reasonable explanation. It is, you suppose. “I was on my way home when I spotted you.”
Home. The little cottage just down the trail—the groundskeeper’s residence. It was built years ago, only a few acres away from the main house. You pass it sometimes when you take Artemis out for a walk. More often than not, you’ve found yourself studying its red bricks and white windowsills, yearning for a peek inside.
“Are you alright?” Harry asks, wrenching you from your thoughts.
“Yes.” You nod, blinking twice. “Your letter—,” you say, desperate to change the subject. “—who is it from?”
And you immediately want to sink into the earth, because it’s none of your bloody business, is it? You have no right to be poking around and questioning him about his personal life. A slight grimace tugs at the corners of your lips, smearing a pained expression across your features.
But Harry just hums, unperturbed by your inquiry.
“My sister,” he tells you, shrugging. “She writes to me from Paris.”
He has a sister?
“Paris,” you echo dumbly. “France?”
His lips twitch. You want to set yourself on fire.
“Does she like it?”
“I think so,” he says, watching you with twinkling eyes. “She wants me to visit her soon, but I’m—” He hesitates, looking away. “Well, I won’t bore you with the details.”
And though he hadn’t let the words slip out, you know exactly what he meant to say.
She wants me to visit her soon, but I’m stuck here.
A pang of guilt ricochets through your chest. Blood thunders in your ears as you direct your attention to the ground, kicking at the dirt below your slippers. You suddenly realise that whilst Harry is fully clothed, you’re dressed in nothing but a flimsy silk nightgown. You wrap your arms around your torso, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your knuckles.
“Er—”
You glance up at Harry when the awkward noise falls from his mouth. “Yes?”
He lifts his chin and gestures toward Artemis, who has returned to her tasty pile of hay. “She belongs to Lydia, does she not?”
“No, actually,” you reply. “Lydia takes her out, typically, but…she’s mine.”
“I see.” His face renders an innocent type of curiosity, one eyebrow cocked high on his forehead. “Do you ride?”
You balk, nearly choking on your own saliva. “I beg your pardon?”
And just like that, the innocence is gone. Harry’s features melt into a portrait of wicked mirth. His irises glint roguishly as he fixes you with a shrewd, crafty smirk.
“The horse,” he says slowly, his tone ripe with amusement. “Do you ride?”
“Oh,” you croak. “Sorry, I—”
Your nostrils flare as you avert your eyes, too humiliated to meet his gaze. He’s aware of the way in which you interpreted his question. He understands why you were so appalled. He knows exactly where your mind went.
“No,” you answer quickly. “I don’t. Not anymore, at least.”
Harry tilts his head to the side, confused.
“How long has it been?” he asks. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you mount.”
“I stopped a few months before you came to work for us,” you say, playing with a loose thread hanging from your cardigan. After a beat of silence, you add, “There was…an incident. I fell.”
“Oh.” He recoils slightly, taken aback by your revelation. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s alright.” Your feet scuffle against the dusty ground. “Sometimes, I catch myself longing for it, but I just—” You shrug. “I can never seem to get back on.”
“I understand.” His response is excruciatingly sincere.
You watch him out of the corner of your eye. He takes an experimental step forward, gauging your reaction. When you don’t make a move to retreat, he does it again. You chew on the inside of your cheek as he draws nearer, and your heart stutters beneath your ribs when he angles his body to the side, offering you his arm.
“May I walk you back?”
Is there a hint of fondness in his voice, or is it merely your imagination?
“You may,” you concede weakly.
You slide your hand into the crook of his elbow and bid Artemis goodnight. The two of you stroll back up to the estate in silence, enjoying the tranquility of the evening. The wind whistles through the thicket of trees lining the edge of the property. Crickets chirp loudly, seeking shelter between blades of grass. Harry’s body is unbelievably warm, radiating heat despite the slight chill carried by nightfall.
You release his arm once you reach the steps of the back porch. He studies you carefully as you climb the first two stairs, a divot digging into the space between his brows.
All of a sudden, you pause, brought to a standstill by an invisible string. You spin back around, looking down and finding a pair of bright jade eyes in the dark.
“Goodnight, Harry,” you say softly, hands dropping to your sides.
Quicker than a bolt of lightning, he seizes your fingers between his. A faint gasp leaves your mouth when he bows forward and presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles. Harry peers up at you innocuously, pulling his lips away from your skin after a long moment of stillness.
“Goodnight, miss,” he says. The words flow over you like molasses, viscous and warm and inconceivably sweet. “Sleep tight.”
~*~
PART II: The Week
PART III: The Month
if you’re enjoying this series so far, please consider donating to my ko-fi! thank you bunches <3
#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles smut#there's not a single curse word in this fic holy shit.............i think this is a first for me snfsjsdnsfsjfsn#ANYWAY i hope u like it!!!!! i'll be here if yall wanna chat after lol#farmhandrry#harry writing
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HSAGSH HELLO I’M BACK 👉👈 I MISSED EVRYRONME HELLO
i’m super sorry for being away for a long time but i got the proper therapy consultations and i’ve been improving myself enough to be able to socialise now ! i miss everyone so much i feel like i missed out a lot JFJSGFJ
i’m sorry keeping u guys ij the dark i feel rly bad but i promise i won’t leave again !! thank u for all the kind msgs i got a little teary reading them honestly ily all sm ur all angels ty ily ily ily thank u for always supporting me i don’t deserve all of this 🥺😭
hopefully i can make it up to u all soon!! i’ve been thinking of exploring new stuff and i wanna bring u guys along too since they make me happy and i want u too be happy too !
I HOPE U GUYS HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF URSELVES THO FHSJGAH 😠😤 always make sure to stay hydrated ilysm !!
#babbles#ifofo 🌸#i came back w the milk 🥛#AHAHA#I’M NOT DEAD AHDKS#I MISSED U ALL IM BACK HELLO HELOOA DHAKBDKS#i have so many unreleased drawings ehe <3#guess who’s been playing geenshin teehee 😳#tumblr ate all of my asks PLSFGJSF#IM SO UPSET#i hope u guys haven’t forgot abt me </3#i hope u’ve all been taking care of urselves 😠😤#i missed u all so so so so much HGESLPR#thank u for the msgs ilysm <3#i’ll finish answering u all tomorrow !!!#sorry for taking so long omg 😭#CMERE GIVE ME A HUG#free smooches too#ily all so much sorry for leaving again 🥺😭#mwa mwa kith kith <3
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are you planning to post again?? i hope you’re well!!
1. First of all, I'd like to sincerely apologize for the broken promises I made, saying that your requests would be written in a timely manner and that I would reply to your messages, reblogs, mentions, etc, soon. I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long, and I hope that you all can forgive me for my unexpected absence... but please rest assured that I will always be here.
2. Secondly, I am not equipped with the vocabulary to explain how warm this message made me feel. To think someone is still thinking of me, my writing, and my blog? To know that I have impacted someone so much to where they wish me well in my vacancy? It's such a lovely feeling that happily dances around my soul and tickles my face with red. I really appreciate your kind words, anon, and thank you for your patience! (I hope you're doing well too)!
3. I basically had a mental breakdown over the fact that Armin wasn't real which made me realize how disconnected from reality I am which led me on a personal journey to discover why my life was so unfulfilling that I had to rely on a fictional character to replace every sort of negativity and responsibility in my life and made me search for how I can make my life enriched and fulfilled as well as to figure out what's missing that I so desperately need. Needless to say, I have created a healthy space for myself in which I can properly reflect on and handle the challenges in my life as well as discover who I truly am and walk on the path that was always meant for me. I encourage you all to take some time to reflect. Deep down inside, you already know what you want, and you already know what you need to do. Ignite the confidence inside your heart, and you can accomplish anything.
4. enough with the sappy stuff. bish you best believe imma start writing again, ur actually gonna have a hard time getting rid of me. plus armin be so fine gotdamn how could you not write about him 😩😩😩😩😩 want to get on my knees for this man but anyway ~ first, im gonna work on the head canons I promised for my follower event, and then I will begin writing prompts again. I will also start responding to your messages, mentions, reblogs, etc, so don't think I"m ignoring you! I really appreciate you guys AND U BETTER BE TAKING CARE OF URSELVES BISH I KNOW WHEN U DON"T DRINK ENOUGH WATER. IN FACT GET UR ASS UP AND GO DRINK SOME RN, NO ARGUING WITH ME, CADET.
anyway, love u guys so much and see u soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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I'm glad you're back. We missed you. Hope you're okay and save.
thank u i missed u guys too and i hope ur all doing well and eating well and taking care of urselves
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i miss u all. sorry ive been missing, ive been so out if it. just been sleeping and going to therapy, thats literally it. i hope ur all taking care of urselves!!
#i miss talking to u all#in other news im trying to stop taking benzos which sucks#but it’s good for me#:-)#take care of urselves
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hey honey angels!! 🌼✨🧁🍮🍯🍰🍮🧁🍰🍮🍯 I hope ur all taking care of urselves n eating lots!! 🧁🍯✨🌼🧁🍰🍯🌙☀️🍯🍰💗💖🍯🍰🧁 I currently have all three of my finals tmr KDJDKDJDJDJS n I’m just excited to get over them at this point 🥺🥺🥺 I miss u all!!!
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hello everyone!!I hope yall are doing well.I miss u all,i miss mom,i miss uncle sans and paps,i miss my aunts alphys and undyne,i miss having chara guide me,but i hope you guys are having a good holiday out there!!Take care of urselves,take ur meds,drink some water,do some self care!!I love u!! -Frisk
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hey ! I’m still alive 🙇 I’ve just been rlly busy and tired lately. I hope ur all doing well 😣 I miss bangtan and talking to those of u that speak to me uhfjdjdkd my next free day will be spent catching up and lazing abt on here lol and I can’t wait to just do nOTHI NG UHFJD 😩
Kk on to my main point for this post, if ur reading this i love u 💗 and I hope u felt happiness at some point today! Or if ur day is just starting, i hope that u feel happiness later on 💞 I’ve been focusing on my own happiness recently and trying to pinpoint which areas I can rlly work on to be able invite more of it into my life,, and it’s definitely not easy. So if you’re trying at all,,,, if you’re truly trying lately, just know that I support u and that I’m rooting for u. I believe we can find our own happiness when we rlly want to, and I hope u find yours soon. And i hope i can find more for myself as well. It’s haaaarrddd but if we open ourselves up to more opportunities and experiences, we may just find those golden pockets of happiness that we find evading us so often,, and I truly hope we do ! Gosh im ramblingndkd but listen!! I love u !!! I believe in u !!! I think we’re all strong af !!! And I think putting urself and ur happiness first is always important !!! So pls,, take care of urselves. Treat urself with the love and respect u deserve and pllsss never forget that u deserve both.
#personal#that went longer than i wanted it to fjdkks#sorry 😅#i had another rlly sweet client the other day and shes been on my mind all day today#she was 14 and her mom just wanted her to feel better abt herself and she told me#that if makeup was the way to do it then she would support her daughter no matter what#and i was like 😢 but then i rlly talked to thr girl and i did some light stuff on her face#and we threw in some glitter and she was so happy afterwards and ifjsksk#her mom thanked me profusely before they left me#and then she called my boss today just to thank me again and i jdnsk 😭😭#i just love making people happy and to be able to help young girls like the one i helped the other day#and to know that the happiness lasted and rlly meant something like it warms my heart#i know i sound like a broken record but#im fkn passionate abt this stuff im passionate abt makeup and skin sure but#im passionate abt making sure people know their worth and that they know theyre fkn#beautiful as they are and if they wanna add to that ?? that just makes em even prettier#like u being 100000% urself is always the most gorgeous thing u can do#and if that comes with all the extras than fkn throw in those extras that u feel comfortable with#idk im just rlly glad ive fallen back in love with why i entered this industry#i love helping women in their 50s i love helping women in their 10s and 20s like#any age is fine because we all hurt and worry the same#we all feel as tho we're less than we are and fkn why ??? theres never a good reason#that doesnt revolve around other people#which is bs because other people arent u !! theres only one u and that person is gorgeous#gorgeous and amazing and one of a fkn kind so u better treat em like they are#because no one else can be expected to do thag#*that which guess what ? u deserve. we all do. immfmdm i just want everyone to love#themselves and realise that its so important to get there
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