#miss may i season 5 part 26

[miss-may-i]

Miss May I: Season 5 Part 26

Vivian: Thanks for watching Jasper while we get situated. He shouldn't be here for all of this.

Lippika: Of course. Anything for the little one.

Lippika: Where's Julie? How's she handling this?

Vivian: She's upstairs giving her statement to the police right now.

Officer: So you and your brother left the house for a weekend and came back to it looking like this?

Julian: That's correct.

Officer: Are you sure it wasn't already like this when you left?

Julian: Why would we leave our home like this?

Officer: Is anyone injured or noticable items missing?

Julian: No.

Officer: Why possible suspects who could have done this?

Julian: ...

Julian: No.

Officer: Thank you, that's all I need. We'll continue the investigation from our end.

Julian: Hey, how's Jasper? Was Lippi okay with taking him?

Vivian: Yeah, they're fine. Are you really not going to tell the cops about Noah?

Julian: We don't know who did this.

Vivian: Julie, yes we do. The most dangerous time for women in abusive relationships is when they try to leave.

Julian: Noah isn't abusive, he just needs help.

Vivian: You file for divorce and then our house gets trashed. How is that not abusive? What if you and Jasper were home when he did this?

Julian: I...

Isabella: Oh Julie, I'm so glad you're okay!

Julian: Yeah, yeah. Everyone's fine. It's just messy.

Damian: So you really have no idea who could have done this?

Vivian: ...

Vivian: No. Must have just been some random attack.

Damian: Yeah, I bet. We should get started with cleaning all this up before it ruins your floors.

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[bosbas]

Chapter 5: I don't want you like a best friend

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.8k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love, angst, sexual tension, miscommunication (ish), benedict bridgerton being an idiot, anthony being a slayer in response

Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.

May 26, 1814 - Word has it that Benedict Bridgerton has returned from his mysterious disappearance to the countryside and was seen at White's with the Beaumont twins last night.

But more interestingly, the second Bridgerton brother was spotted with a certain Miss Y/N Beaumont about the town getting flavored ice in the growing summer heat, with Miss Beaumont appearing notably more joyous with him than during her interactions with other gentlemen she met at the Cowper Ball. While not privy to the intricacies of this friendship, this author does wonder whether Mr Bridgerton's newfound reappearance in the ton will affect Miss Beaumont's standing in the social season. Will suitors be too intimidated to pursue her? Though this matter might prove irrelevant, as Mr Bridgerton might decide to pursue Miss Beaumont himself...

Once again, you found yourself amidst the flurry of commotion that marked the afternoon before a ball. Only this time, you felt considerably less nervous knowing you had Benedict's company to look forward to. This would be your first time seeing him at a ball, dancing together outside the confines of either of your homes. You were quite accustomed to dancing with him. Both sets of your parents had been eager to teach their children the art of dancing, resulting in frequent informal post-dinner dancing lessons where you, more often than not, were paired off with Benedict. And you weren't complaining. He was a magnificent dancer, and you found you could just let go and allow him to take the lead while the two of you waltzed. Instead, you could focus on the feel of his steady hands on your waist, the handsome smile he cast down at you, or the shivers that ran up your spine when he would lean down to whisper something in your ear. Perhaps you were used to dancing with him, but that did not make it any less enjoyable.

Which is why you found yourself unable to keep still, excitedly humming and squirming around in the carriage bound for the Featherington residence. It was like your debut all over again, you thought, but with Ben being the only person who would be seeing you come out for the first time.

"Y/N, that's quite enough!" exclaimed Theo, clearly fed up with your antsy behavior. "Whatever is the matter? We are almost there; are you truly incapable of sitting still for a few more minutes?"

You glared at your older brother, choosing to ignore his comment but stilling your movements nonetheless. You were more than aware that Theo and Bastian were all but dragged to tonight's event by your mother, the pair being less than enthusiastic about attending a ball the very day they returned from their hunting trip, but you were not bothered one bit. If you had to go out and look for a husband ball after ball, they should, at the very least, be forced to be there as well. You envied their position in society, under no pressure to marry so soon and with complete freedom to do whatever they wanted, really. Your own literary pursuits were under somewhat of a time constraint unless you managed to find a suitable husband who would allow you the freedom to continue them, which was becoming increasingly unlikely as the season continued. Despite your mother's comforting words, assuring you that you did not have to marry this season, you honestly wondered how helpful another season would be if it was as fruitless as this one. You reasoned that you might just have to settle for someone you weren't particularly taken with, which was a dreadful thought, but at the very least, you were hoping to find someone who wasn't terribly dull.

After half an hour at the Featherington ball, you feared that "not terribly dull" might have been too high of an expectation to have for potential suitors. You were in the middle of a dance with some titled gentleman, his name you were not entirely sure of, who had been stunned into silence after you made a quip about a book you knew he should have read, as it was included in the Oxford curriculum you had been privy to courtesy of Benedict. Now, the two of you were dancing in complete silence, your eyes scanning the ballroom for any sign of your best friend. Just as you felt your foot being stepped on by your mute dance partner, you turned to see that Ben had entered the ballroom. The sharp pain in your foot was forgotten, and you relaxed, knowing you had an actually good dance to look forward to now.

Benedict eagerly entered the ballroom alongside his mother and older brother, immediately searching the crowd of people for you. Although he would never admit it, he was, for the first time in his life, properly excited for a ball. He knew he would be able to dance with you, granting a socially appropriate opportunity for him to hold on to your waist for a few minutes and feel the curve of your hips, occasionally getting close enough so he could smell your sweet perfume and whisper a silly comment in your ear. A comment that would no doubt make you laugh or at least giggle softly in a way that always seemed to elicit a warm feeling from his chest.

Unable to find you in the crowd, Benedict turned to Violet, who surely would know where you were by now, with a questioning look. She softened her features and gestured toward the dance floor, where Benedict could see you dancing with another man.

He barely heard his mother say over the roar in his ears, "She's out this year darling, with barely a spare moment away from a suitor or another," too focused on the man's hands on yours as he spun you around. Tearing his eyes away from the scene, he looked at Violet, who was already looking at him with a hint of concern. He swallowed thickly and put on a broad smile, not wanting to outwardly show what he was feeling.

"I suppose I'll be competing for her affections tonight, then. Hopefully she has space on her dance card," Benedict uttered, internally cringing.

Turning to Ben, Anthony leaned over and clapped him on the shoulder. "I don't think that'll be too much of a problem, brother. If you'd read Whistledown in your time away, you'd know your dear best friend has scarcely been giving any gentlemen the time of day. At the Cowper ball, Colin and I were practically the only ones she danced with," he said with a meaningful look.

Ben looked puzzled, not entirely trusting his brother's account of your season so far. He probed further, "A couple of men asked the twins about her at White's last night, so I just assumed she was having a lot of success." At the mention of the gentleman's club, Violet excused herself and went to go chat with some other mamas milling about the ballroom.

"She is having a lot of success, to be sure. Lots of gentlemen callers and the like. I just don't believe she actually likes anyone just yet," Anthony explained, seeing Benedict's shoulders relax just a fraction.

Trying to appear nonchalant, Ben responded, "Oh. That's a shame then that she hasn't found anyone she connects with."

"Are you sure you think it's a shame?" came Anthony's teasing reply, earning him a small shove from Benedict.

Just before Anthony could return the shove, you came up to the Bridgertons, walking as fast as was appropriate at an event like this. "Oh, thank heavens!" you exclaimed. "I thought the dance would never end. What good is an Oxford degree if you haven't even read The Odyssey?"

Anthony couldn't help but laugh at your exasperated demeanor, making a dig at your previous dance partner. But Ben was too eager to get you to himself. He softly grasped your wrist and took hold of your dance card, wordlessly asking for your permission. You raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

"I can't say yes if you don't ask, Ben," came your response. Yes, he was your best friend, but he needed to show some decorum. Besides, you really wanted to hear the words coming out of his mouth, needing the sweet sound engrained in your mind so you could revisit the scene later when you were in bed playing over the best parts of the night.

Stifling a smile and giving you a slight bow, Benedict looked deep into your eyes and flashed you the most charming, rakish grin he could muster. "Miss Y/N Beaumont, would you do me the honor of giving me this dance?" he spoke lowly, sending you a cheeky wink.

A simple "yes" from you would have sufficed, but you were finding it difficult to form any words at all. Your throat had gone dry, and you were astounded by the intense effect his words had on you. Having such a close relationship, the two of you were as informal as could be. But here, in this ballroom, barely even touching you, Ben had managed to leave you feeling warm and out of breath with a more formal tone than you had ever heard him speak to you. You maintained eye contact with him, licking your lips in a failed attempt to get something out to indicate that, yes, you desperately wanted to dance with him. You settled for a quick nod, pushing your dance card-clad wrist further in his direction.

He clasped your hand in both of his, reaching his fingers to touch your own. A teasing smile pulled at his lips. "I can't take you to the dance floor if you don't say anything, Y/N," he retorted, throwing back your earlier words. You finally broke eye contact, shaking your head and looking down, laughing at yourself.

"Yes, Mr Bridgerton. I would be delighted," came your airy response. Your breath hitched in your throat as he interlocked his fingers with yours and put a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the crowd during the short walk back to the dance floor.

"Very well, Miss Beaumont. But I insist you must call me Benedict," he said from behind you, lips dangerously close to your ear. You waited until you reached the dance floor, fighting goosebumps, and spun around to face him.

"Am I not allowed to call you Ben anymore, then?" you teased.

Ben could only smile down at you, a twinkle in his eye, "You can call me anything you like, darling."

Before you had time to process his words, which had undoubtedly left you breathless, the music started, and the two of you began dancing. It was a wonderfully familiar feeling, and you were gliding through the ballroom with ease, working perfectly in sync during every step, turn, and twirl. You were delighted. After far too long dancing with uninteresting or uncoordinated suitors, you could finally relax and just enjoy the dance, as well as the feeling of Ben's hand touching yours.

"So how is it, really? Looking for a husband?" Benedict asked after you had found a good rhythm.

Immediately, the topic clouded your features. You were unable to meet his gaze for fear of tears springing in your eyes. You bit your lip and composed yourself, blinking away any tears that had formed. With Ben, you could just be yourself; there was no need to pretend to want something you most certainly did not.

"Ummm... it's proven to be a challenge," you started, sniffling slightly. "Rather, I knew it would be challenging, but I didn't know how impossible it would feel. Every man wants a perfect, mindless housewife, and I fear I will be unable to fulfill that role. I want something different, Ben," you said, finally looking into his eyes. You were met with his sympathetic gaze, searching your face to take in all of your minuscule expressions. His hand softly squeezed your waist as you continued, "And I don't know if I will ever find someone who will allow me to do that. I can tell because barely anyone shows interest after they truly start to get to know me and can't keep up with the conversation," you added with a small laugh.

After twirling you around, he spoke, "I know, I can't say I envy your position. Truthfully, I would rather do anything other than get married at the moment, so I cannot imagine how you're feeling."

His words were thrown out almost casually, but you felt a stabbing pain in your gut as he said them. You already knew he didn't want to marry you. It would never work. He was your best friend. But it still hurt to hear him say it out loud. You were saved from having to respond by being twirled around again, so you simply nodded at him to continue, not trusting yourself to speak.

He sensed a change in your demeanor and thought that perhaps the prospect of marriage so soon was still a sensitive topic, so he tried to offer words of comfort. "At least you don't seem to have a lot of serious suitors right now. That way, you have time before you actually have to settle down."

But as soon as his words left his mouth and your face fell, he knew they were the wrong ones. You were staring off into the distance, refusing to make eye contact with him. The dance was almost over, and the pair of you were nearing Anthony once again, so Benedict knew he had to fix this in the next few moments while the two of you still had any semblance of privacy. Scrambling, he desperately searched for the correct words to say, blurting out the first thing he thought of to make you feel better.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, Y/N. I promise. You are so beautiful, and smart, and funny, and caring, and kind, and any man would be crazy to not want to marry you. With time, I am certain you will find a suitor who feels this way," came his rushed response.

Stunned into silence, seconds away from breaking down into sobs, you cut the dance short, disentangled your hands from Benedict's, and rushed to the ballroom exit, hoping not to cause a scene. The stabbing pain in your stomach was migrating to your chest. You were struggling to breathe and had tears blurring your vision, but luckily, you saw your mother near the exit and grabbed her hand, pulling her with you. She threw a startled apology over her shoulder at whoever she had been talking to and stopped you once you had left the ballroom.

Turning you around and firmly putting your hands on your shoulders, she scolded, "Whatever is the matter, Y/N? Why on earth would you–"

Stopped short by the sight of tears streaming down your cheeks, she softened and opted instead to hold you tightly to her, shushing you and stroking your hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked carefully.

You let out a choked sob, shaking your head. Primrose kissed the top of your head, not letting you go.

"That's alright, sweeting; we'll just leave the ball early then. Would you like that?"

You could only nod, holding onto her as she led you outside to the carriage. Desperate to go home and emotionally exhausted, you let yourself be directed into your seat and all but collapsed on top of your mother as soon as she was inside as well.

Back in the ballroom, Benedict stood frozen, looking in the direction you had run off in. Despite his utter confusion at your quick change in mood, he felt a crushing weight in his chest at being the cause of your distress. He thought things had been going quite well, actually. He had no idea why he had not been able to soothe you, usually an expert at reading your emotions, and had instead worsened the situation considerably. Wide-eyed, he turned to look at Anthony, who stood a few feet away. Ben was still stunned but shrugged at his brother, muttering, "Women" as an explanation for your sudden distress.

Benedict certainly had not been expecting Anthony to coddle him, but he could not help but be shocked when his brother's face transformed into a furious scowl, fists forming at his sides. He had barely reached his brother's side when Benedict felt Anthony's finger poking his chest aggressively.

"You are a complete and utter buffoon," whispered Anthony harshly, hoping to avoid a scene despite his overflowing anger. Benedict only sputtered in confusion, unsure of what to say.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I heard the last bit of your conversation, and obviously, this is a sensitive topic for Y/N. A large part of the reason no man has bothered to keep pursuing her is that they know the two of you have an incredibly strong 'friendship,'" continued Anthony in the same tone of voice, emphasizing the word 'friendship.' "You would know this if you bothered to talk to anyone at White's last night or kept up with your supposed best friend at all. But you were off in the countryside doing god knows what for whatever reason, and she had to face this alone."

Ire bubbled up in Benedict, feeling that his brother's response was uncalled for. "I cannot possibly have elicited this level of aggression from you. What the hell does Y/N's search for a husband have to do with me? Who she marries is entirely her choice," shot back Ben in the same angry whisper Anthony had been speaking in.

Anthony stepped back, looking at Benedict with disbelief. "You are either completely blind or the biggest fool I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."

With that, he turned on his heel, leaving Benedict reeling, still stunned, not to mention confused. He was replaying every interaction he had with you tonight, trying to find what he said or did that might have set you off, and, hopefully, trying to find a way to fix this.

---

Cass sat perched on your bed, where you lay in your night robe with a puffy face from the extensive crying you had done the previous night. Your mother had been discreet upon returning to your home, but your younger sister had inevitably heard you both come in and went to greet you in hopes of knowing what transpired at the Featherington Ball. Not wanting to explain your heartbreak to either of them in the moment, you had gone straight to your room and locked the door, not even allowing your lady's maid to help you out of your gown. But you knew you could not avoid your sister forever. So when morning came, Cass had slipped in before the rest of the Beaumonts rose. She found you already awake, staring out the window.

"Cass, I fear I have gotten myself into a most precarious situation," you started. She said nothing, opting instead to pat your leg in support. Her eyes grew wide as you briefly recounted your dance with Ben the previous night. You were near tears again, the pain of rejection still fresh.

"Well, I think Benedict Brigerton is an idiot. And a massive one, at that," your sister huffed out once you were finished speaking.

You let out a wet laugh in surprise, chastising her, "Cassandra! You must not use such foul language!"

"It's rather warranted in this situation, actually," responded Cass. Ever the fiery personality, you appreciated her fierce protectiveness in this moment.

"Honestly, I've gone over our conversation about a million times since it happened, and I don't think he actually said anything wrong. He doesn't want to marry. I don't have to worry about getting married right at this very moment, and I will eventually find someone who wants to marry me. Someone who is not him," you said carefully.

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but you pushed through, needing to say this out loud. "All of this is true. If Colin or Anthony or anyone else had said this, I would be inclined to agree with them. I think-" you paused, composing yourself.

"I think I have genuine feelings for him, which I had not entirely realized were there, or at least I had not categorized them as... whatever they actually are," you finished, unable to stop the tears from streaming down your face now. Cass reached over to hug you and moved to sit next to you on top of your covers.

You were still sniffling when she spoke up, "I was wondering how long it would take you to realize." Seeing your dirty look, she let out a laugh, "Sorry! I'm sorry! It was just quite obvious to me. Or to anyone with eyes, probably."

You put your head against the headboard behind you, closing your eyes in frustration and responding, "It's just very inconvenient that I feel this way. Obviously, he does not feel the same, which is obviously alright," you shot Cass a pointed look, warning her not to interject. "So, I believe that to actually find a husband, I must change my friendship with Benedict. Slightly."

"How do you mean?" asked Cass.

Rubbing your temples, you answered her, "Perhaps, seeing him less. So I'm not distracted. And so I stop comparing every suitor to him. And maybe not dancing at balls anymore. To have more time to dance with actual potential husbands. And because I do believe I will fall in love with him if we keep dancing like we did last night, which would not be helpful in the least." You had stopped crying now, your plan of action filling you with resolve.

"Are you implying that you aren't already in love with him? Because we both know that's not tr-" Cass attempted to say, before getting hit by one of your pillows square in the face. But this time, you were laughing with her. It was all going to be alright. You would find someone, and your feelings for Ben would soon become a thing of the past.

—

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[thegracefulknight]

Ciel/Lizzy Playlist

Long post ahead

Okay, so I tried made a list of songs which I think would be perfect for them. ♫ These songs are based from both of their POVs, though it may lean more towards Lizzy's.

Each song is arranged according to how O!Ciel and Lizzy's dynamics progressed through the manga. I also included parts of the song lyrics that highlight their relationship well, or those that resonate with important parts in their story. The first few songs are kinda meh but the last ones are sure to hurt like crazy! xD This playlist has 26 songs btw, so prepare your tissues and cry with me!

Hope you guys give it a listen! ♡

Song List:

1. Sad Song (We The Kings ft. Elena Coats)

—A light, almost fairy-tale like opening highlighting Lizzy and her dreams with R!Ciel. Together with O!Ciel, they are three children living in their happy, idyllic childhood.

"You're the perfect melody, the only harmony I wanna hear / You're my favorite part of me/ With you standing next to me /I've got nothing to fear"

2. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)

— Lizzy's sorrow after the murder of the Phantomhives. She remembers the boy she had sacrificed a lot of things for, the boy who was supposed to be her fairytale ending.

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you / When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too/ And when you're gone /The words I need to hear to always get me through the day /And make it okay /I miss you"

3. Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift ft. Joy Williams & Paul White)

— "Ciel" returns after one month; however, he has now changed. For the sake of the broken boy who returned to her, Lizzy makes another sacrifice, vowing to be a wife that could protect him, and keep him safe.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright / No one can hurt you now / Come morning light / You and I'll be safe and sound"

4. Your Guardian Angel (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

— Despite not wanting to get closer to her initially, O!Ciel finds himself caring for his brother's betrothed. He has protected her time and again, and vows to always protect her at all costs.

"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing / And stars are falling all for us / Days grow longer and nights grow shorter / I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) / I'll stand up with you forever / I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) / Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

5. THE CONTORTIONIST (Melanie Martinez)

— A song where Lizzy contemplates on how she keeps up the facade of being cute for her fiancé because of a comment made a long time ago. This song highlights the moment where she decides she is done pretending to be weak and cute.

"Twisted all my limbs for you / Two of them in knots and two of them in loops / Ribbons tied around like a noose / Wonder if I'll ever get it loose / I don't wanna bruise for you /Holding back my words until my face is blue (Huh) /I don't really care 'bout your crew / You can tell 'em what you wanted to

... I'm done, I'm done /Done doing backbends, I break and I snap / It's no fun, no fun / Pushed myself into a box while you held out a gun /I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah! / I'm done, I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

6. Queen (Loren Gray)

— The theme for the monumental scene where she drops the act and reveals her strength in the midst of the bizarre dolls. For love, the throws away her beauty. Which only leaves the boy beside her struck with awe at this new side of her.

"You can call me a princess all you like / 'Cause you like to keep me helpless by your side / But it ain't what I want, I'ma show you, I'ma show you / How to treat me like a queen /Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

/ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Boy, you better bow down on your knees / Can I get a "Yes, your majesty?"

7. You'll Be Safe Here (Rico Blanco)

— After Lizzy's unexpected revelation, the earl accepts her true self and begins to admire her more.

"Close your eyes, dry your tears / 'Cause when nothing seems clear / You'll be safe here from the sheer weight / Of your doubts and fears / Weary heart, you'll be safe here

... "And though the world would never understand / This unlikely union and why it still stands / Someday, we will be set free / Pray and believe"

8. So Close (Jon McLaughlin)

— The victory party after the second Sapphire Miracle has been memorable, not only for students, but also for the guests. Just for this one night, O!Ciel lets himself enjoy the night by dancing.. with her.

"A life goes by, romantic dreams must die / So I bid mine goodbye and never knew / So close was waiting, waiting here with you / And now forever I know / All that I want is to hold you so close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending / Almost believing this one's not pretend / Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come / So far we are so close"

9. You and I (Tatu)

— A song about the earl and the lady as a reflection of their circumstances, and their wish to protect. And wanting to believe.

"Just a side / To an anguished street, criticized/ For what we believe / If we hide, maybe we can make it through this / Is it fair, to be burned away? / Is it fair, that we live this way? /Victimized, for a life we didn't ask for

No truths to confirm / No lies to deny / Too hopeless to care /We're too scared to cry"

10. Smoke (PVRIS)

— Lizzy thinks she and her beloved have gotten closer, but have they? Somewhere in her mind, there is a small fuse waiting to be lit.

"You're just a ghost of blissful feelings / A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing / An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind. / I see your face, an apparition / But now it's changed / Shape shifting / Don't wanna open my eyes."

11. Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

— Just as Lizzy thought things will start changing for the better between them, small things that went unnoticeable at first are now telling her that something.. still feels not right.

"But there's a side to you / That I never knew, never knew /All the things you'd say / They were never true, never true / And the games you'd play / You would always win, always win"

12. Aoki Tsuki Michite (Book of Circus ED Theme, covered by AmaLee)

— A song where O!Ciel looks back on the choices he made, as he strengthens his resolve to go down the path he chose.

"Praise your palette of lies / For it's a masterpiece that you have created / All of your promises, bleeding in flawless harmony

Sing another spell, paint another dream / We could bring to life a new reality / All of my mistakes, gathering like storm clouds / Will soon rain down on me"

13. I Know You (Skylar Grey)

— Trying to ignore her doubts, Lizzy still continues to yearn to understand her fiancé who has changed and remained distant ever since that month. In her deepest wishes, she pleads to be allowed inside his heart.

"I believe, I believe there's love in you / Gridlocked on the dusty avenues / Inside your heart, just afraid to go / I am more, I am more than innocent / But just take a chance and let me in / And I'll show you ways that you don't know

Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate, Yeah / I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith

So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby / So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby"

14. Demons (Imagine Dragons; covered by Sam Tsui & Kurt Hugo Schneider)

— Despite Lizzy's efforts, the earl remains distant. He has embraced the darkness and his impending end, and the only thing he believes he can do is to keep her at a distance, for more reasons than one.

"They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate / It's woven in my soul / I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how"

15. Leave the Memories Alone (Fuel)

— A song from the earl's POV, as he reminisces the past and how he wishes to keep Lizzy in the light.

"I wanted you.. to stay by the windowsill with the blooming roses."

"So I find me in your garden now / A sad smile for the scene / And all the flowers that we planted now / Taken by the weeds / But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me / They stand tall there, in that summer breeze

Leave the memories alone, I don't want to see / The way it is, as to how it used to be / Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing / And I'll just hold you here in my memory"

16. What Was I Made For? (Billie Eilish)

— Lizzy reflects on her duties as the future wife of the Queen's Watchdog, and her sadness at not being able to help or understand the earl. The growing distance between them makes her feel desperate for answers.

"I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I'm not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for? / Takin' a drive, I was an ideal / Looked so alive, turns out, I'm not real / Just something you paid for / What was I made for?

'Cause I, I / I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try / I don't know how to feel, but someday I might / Someday I might"

17. Empty (PVRIS)

— Desperate to find a way to understand O!Ciel, Lizzy starts going to the Sphere Music Hall. However, what she finds there changes her forever.

"You see I want the world to believe, that there's a light inside of me / But it's time that I'll come clean / I'm not what I seem, no / Some would say I'm possessed, yeah / But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed / With life and death and emptiness, I guess / Can't you see all of the change in me?"

18. My Immortal (Evanescence)

— Lizzy remembers all the sacrifices she made for Ciel. She gave her heart for her betrothed, but now that she realizes her love has been given to two different people, where does her love for one end, and where does it begin for the other? Who does she really love? Somehow, she already knows the answer, and it is causing her anguish over her supposed love. *This song could be interpreted to be directed to both the twins, as Lizzy thought all this time that she was loving one person only.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light / Now I'm bound by the life you left behind / Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams / Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears / When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears / And I held your hand through all of these years / But you still have all of me"

19. Stay With Me (Danity Kane)

— Lizzy is in disbelief after discovering that the Ciel she has been with for the past three years was not her true betrothed. She tries so hard to hold on to the image of O!Ciel, the boy who accepted her, and the fiance she has come to love with all her heart. However, the ugly, undeniable truth is right in front of her.

"I've searched my heart over so many many times / No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night / Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days / You promised me we'd always be / And never go away / That's why I need you to stay

Stay with me, don't let me go / Cause I can't be without you /Just stay with me and hold me close / Because I've built my world around you / And I don't wanna know what it's like without you / So stay with me, just stay with me, stay.."

20. Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)

— Looking back to the times she tried to keep up her cheerful facade and balancing it with her strong side in front of the boy she loved— O!Ciel, Lizzy finally shatters under the grief and heartache of learning his lie.

"I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh/ Every day of my life/ My heart can't possibly break / When it wasn't even whole to start with.."

"...Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything / Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in / Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty / Because of you / I am afraid"

21. Stand In The Rain (Superchick)

— She's mad, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to return to the days where she doesn't know anything, and be by his side. But her duty is to remain here. Heartbroken, mad at herself and filled with guilt, she compensates by staying by R!Ciel's side.

"She won’t make a sound / Alone in this fight with herself / And the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down

She wants to be found / The only way out is through everything / She’s running from, wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain, stand your ground / Stand up when it’s all crashing down / You stand through the pain, you won’t drown / And one day what’s lost can be found / You stand in the rain"

22. Beautiful Girl (Broken Iris)

— O!Ciel's lies, mistakes and choices have finally come to haunt him. He realizes this as soon as his eyes met his twin brother's. And most of all, he finally discovers the reason why Lizzy left.

"Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late / I end this day in a most bitter way / A regretful state but...

I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile. I still remember the way you said "good-bye" / No matter how hard I try I can't forget about /

Beautiful Girl, on top of the world / Don't fall down, because an angel / Should never touch ground.."

23. Never Be The Same (Red)

— The sudden appearance of R!Ciel turns his world upside down. Remaining silent with a darkened expression on his face, a disheartened, regretful earl reminisces his memories with Lizzy

"I can see, I can still find /You're the only voice my heart can recognize /But I can't hear you now, yeah. /I'll never be the same / I'm caught inside the memories, the promises /Are yesterdays and I belong to you. / I just can't walk away, 'cause after loving you / I can never be the same."

24. Broken Inside (Broken Iris)

— Fighting despair, the earl descends further deep into the darkness. He is determined to take back everything, no matter what it takes.

"The thinning line between you and my sanity / Is quickly fading / Takes just a breeze to cause a storm /Takes just a breath to cause a scream / It takes me to cause a tragedy.."

"Until the end of me, I swear / You'll be the death of me / I dare you to cross the line again / Because deep down inside /There's something that waits to be / Broken Inside"

25. The Scientist (Coldplay)

— O!Ciel should have known that this is coming. He knew he lied, and was willing to take this to his grave. But he didn't expect to feel like this when it did happen. If only things have been different..

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions / Oh let's go back to the start / Running in circles; coming up tails / Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy / It's such a shame for us to part / Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard / Oh take me back to the start"

26. Descent Within (Broken Iris)

— Outro; the perfect ending for a story doomed to end in tragedy

[dailydracart]

What's this blog for?

My goal is to follow the "Dracula Daily" tag for the year 2024 and reblog story-relevant art. This means I want it to turn out almost like a picture book -- where there's one tag for every Dracula Daily date, and you can look through the fanart for each date.

I will also gradually be reblogging art from the previous years (but keeping it spoiler-free!) You'll find the art for each year under the tags "2024", "2023" and "2022", as well as in their respective date tags.

Click here to go directly to a date:

Pre-story | May 3 | May 4 | May 5 | May 7 | May 8 | May 9 | May 11 | May 12 | May 15 | May 16 | May 18 | May 19 | May 24 | May 25 | May 26 | May 28 | May 31

June 5 | June 17 | June 18 | June 24 | June 25 | June 29 | June 30

July 1 | July 8 | July 18 | July 19 | July 20 | July 22 | July 24 | July 26 | July 27 | July 28 | July 29 | July 30

Aug 1 | Aug 2 | Aug 3 | Aug 4 | Aug 6 | Aug 8 | Aug 9 | Aug 10 | Aug 11 | Aug 12 | Aug 13 | Aug 14 | Aug 15 | Aug 17 | Aug 18 | Aug 19 | Aug 20 | Aug 21 | Aug 23 | Aug 24 | Aug 25 | Aug 30 | Aug 31

Sep 1 | Sep 2 | Sep 3 | Sep 4 | Sep 5 | Sep 6 | Sep 7 | Sep 8 | Sep 9 | Sep 10 | Sep 11 | Sep 12 | Sep 13 | Sep 17 | Sep 18 | Sep19 | Sep 20 | Sep 21* | Sep 22 | Sep 23 | Sep 24 | Sep 25 | Sep 26 | Sep 27 | Sep 28 | Sep 29 | Sep 30

Oct 1 | Oct 2 | Oct 3 | Oct 4 | Oct 5 | Oct 6 | Oct 11 | Oct 15 | Oct 16 | The remaining date tags are IN THE REBLOGS of this post! I seem to have hit a link limit...

More Notes & FAQ unter the cut:

*Note: If you're listening to Re: Dracula, or reading the original book instead of the Dracula Daily e-mails, the events of September 21 are covered in the same entry as September 20! This is because Bram Stoker apparently overlooked that everything after Lucy's immediate death happens on the following day. The e-mails split events up as it should be, with two seperate days.

Reblog guidelines:

I try to keep it as story-relevant as possible.* This means that I won't reblog AU art, most character portraits with no further context, and similar things. Some of it may be a bit of a gray zone. For example: character portraits that feature a specific character who only appears in one or two entries, I will probably reblog for that entry. Character portraits of, let's say, Jonathan I won't reblog bc that's too unspecific, UNLESS there is something linking it - again - to a specific part of the book that's easy to pinpoint, like the very first days of his journey. *Note: "story-relevant" doesn't mean "100% text-accurate". Joke posts and art related more to the general impression of an entry that are not direct illustrations of a scene absolutely count!

Spoiler policy:

This blog will be spoiler-free for the 2024 season! Any art from the previous years that concerns a later date will only be posted when that date comes around. Please note: Sometimes a piece of art will allude to or foreshadow things that happen further on in the story, while definitely belonging to a date that has already happened! For these cases I will use the tag "spoilery content" - please blacklist that tag if you want to avoid possible spoilers completely! [Here's an example of what sort of things I'd consider to belong under that tag. Spoilery for Lucy's storyline so view under your own risk.]

What about things like collages, edits and moodboards?

I'm not opposed to reblogging them, too! They only need to be made specific enough so they can be attached to a specific entry. But since they're not my first priority when scanning the tags for pictures (my brain skips anything that's not a drawing almost on autopilot), I've likely missed them all. You're welcome to send something in that you think fits here!

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x22 There's No Place Like Home (Part 4)

Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 528

Tagging a few people who may be interested (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list): @sailormew4 @annaamell @flslp87 @emmateo26 @bethacaciakay 

@ultraluckycatnd @effulgent-mind @ilovemesomekillianjones @brooke-to-broch 

@missgymgirl @galadriel26 @the-lady-of-misthaven @charmingturkeysandwich 

@jennjenn615 @laschatzi @kimmy46 @snowbellewells @iamanneenigma

@daxx04 @nickillian  @gillie  @britishguyslover @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst

@kmomof4 @linda8084 @golfgirld @captain-swan-coffee @searchingwardrobes 

@hollyethecurious @laughswaytoomuch  @allyourdarlingswans  @winterbaby89 @facesiousbutton82 

@therooksshiningknight @lfh1226-linda @tiganasummertree @jrob64  @anmylica 

@booksteaandtoomuchtv @i-will-sing-no-requiem @bluewildcatfanatic @laianely

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Notes: I knew there was no way I could stick to just one drabble an episode for the CS movie, so I didn't even try. There will be 2 drabbles for 3x21 and 4 for 3x22. They are all written, so the plan is to post one per day until they're all posted.

Note 2: You didn't think I could write a series of season 3 drabbles without one about the CS kiss outside of Granny's did you?

She was kissing him, really kissing him.  Killian’s heart swelled, somehow, paradoxically both soaring and settling.  She was kissing him.

He’d never planned to tell her about the deal he’d had to make to get back to her.  He wanted her more than anything in the world, but the last thing he’d wanted was for her to come to him out of a sense of obligation, of owing him for what he’d given up.

He missed his ship, aye, but if it was a choice between the Jolly and Emma, it was no contest.  He’d have given up anything to get back to her.

The kiss went on and on.  It was far gentler and less passionate than the one they’d shared in Neverland, but it was real.  It was not borne merely of lust but of feelings acknowledged without words.  She’d leaned into him not to blow off steam, not in answer to a challenge, not as a thank you.

She’d leaned in to him because she cared for him.  She’d let down her walls and accepted her family and now she’d accepted her feelings for him.  He could feel it in the way her lips and tongue moved against his.

It was overwhelming, the feelings inside so real they nearly brought tears to his eyes.

Later, when he had a chance to reflect on all of it, the elation would come, the joy that would make him want to shout his love to the rooftops, but for now, nothing existed but her and the fact that she was kissing him.

She pulled back for a moment and looked up at him with an almost tentative smile, and the openness in her eyes, the trust, the–dare he say it–love he saw shining back at him through them would have brought him to his knees had he been standing.

He returned her gentle smile before leaning in to close the distance between them once more.  He’d always let her set the pace of this relationship, let her make the first moves.  He’d been hesitant to step forward toward her–not only because he knew he needed to be patient and allow her to lower her walls in her own time, but also because he needed to protect his own heart.  If he moved too quickly and scared her away….

But now, something had changed.  She’d given herself to him–not yet in the carnal sense, of course, but in the emotional sense.  With her kiss, she’d told him she wanted this relationship too; that she was done running, and he could have no more stopped himself from going in for that second kiss than he could have stopped himself from breathing.

She was intoxicating, and it was a high from which he hoped to never come down.  Cupping her head with his hand, letting the silky strands flow through his fingers, he let the kiss go on and on.

No doubt there would be difficulties, set backs, new villains to defeat, but for now, for right now, he felt as though his life was nothing short of perfect, and he’d remain with her in this moment forever if he could.

[gogogogolev]

Stephen will be competing at the 50th Skate Canada International in Halifax, Nova Scotia this week. The short program is on Saturday, October 26 starting at 2:55 PM ADT, and the free skate is on Sunday, October 27 starting at noon. There is no gala. Parts of the competition will be broadcast on TV on CBC. Livestreams of the on air broadcast are here.

Stephen returns to international competition after 51 weeks away. In the past 5 years Stephen has been out of competition for about 36 months due to injury or illness. You can argue that some of that is part of the off season but even if we shave off a few months it is still a huge amount of time to not be competing. He has been through a lot with his growth and it may be that he also has a chronic back issue. The big goal this season has to be to remain in good health as much as possible.

In case you have missed it there have been several changes in his life. He has left Team Raf, moved back to Toronto from Irvine, and transferred universities from UCI to U of T. He even seems to have gotten a new car. We haven't really heard from him but he seems to be doing alright. I know we have been begging him to come back for years but he needs to be comfortable with what he has decided to do with his life even beyond this sport. Maybe we will get to hear his thoughts about all this in the near future.

This season did not start with a Challenger Series event but going off his last event we know that Stephen has increased the technical difficulty of his programs. Now he just needs to deliver that content without popping jumps. If he was taking some time to just adapt to all the new things going on then it makes sense to keep away from competition. He also minimized time away from school this way. He has two GP events so he can warm up with SCI. Stephen will be the only Canadian skater at NHK Trophy so the focus will be on him fully but that is much preferable to the previous situation regarding that event. We will only get to see Stephen briefly this year before the wait for Nationals starts.

This season also features Scott Moir's least favourite event but with only one spot at Worlds for Canadian men I am not sure how assignments will get split. Hopefully we will at least get to see Stephen skate in the second half of the season this time around.

Links SCI24 website ISU event page ISU results page Announcement Coloured time schedule Livestreams - CBC SP, Radio-Canada SP (FR), CBC FS, Radio-Canada FS (FR)

Good luck Stephen!

[chupenguin]

Hi! I have been desperately wanting a skk figure skating AU and was expecting I’d have to write it myself but then I found out you have one! Please take this as an invitation to ramble about it, I am listening intently and taking detailed notes like this is a college lecture.

OMG HELLO

1st of all you must know that i actually have 2 versions of this au: skk medal count goes more or less the same but there's a diference

The au I have more worked and developed is a figure skater chuuya only, he's the skater, Dazai is his #1 fan and best friend since dippers, he ends becoming a teacher but he quite likes music, so some times he makes the arrangments for Chuuya's programs

That one is a simple one, Chuuya is adopted by Verlaine when he's 4 or 5, Verlaine is France top skaters, but he suffers an injurie during Torino 2006 and had to retire, so he become Chuuya coach

I love figure skating, I follow it all season so I know more or less about how ISU works and I wanted to keep it more or less realistic: under and over scorings, disliking some music, styles and all that

The only thing I'm more or less ignoring about the ISU is that here they're transfrindly weeeeeeeee Chuuya is trans here

Anyway back to the details Chuuya is also inspird by Yuzuru Hanyu, I'm biased and I'm not sorry

He wins a lot, gets a lot of world reconds and, since he's my fave and this is my self indulgent au, 3 consecutive medal titles: 2014, 2018 and 2022

He'll retire around 26 or so, becuse his style is really agresive, like he has a good technique and he takes care of his body, but he's been hiding injuries and trying quads since his junior days

he's such an artistic skater, deep edges, can do figures, so so so flexible and adaptable... he knows ballet, so he's really a pretty clasic 90s like skater, but with a punk side

Well, you've already seen my post about his programs: he chooses the music he wants, not the one the ISU would like to hear

This happens because, when he was still a junior, he made a deal with Verlaine: If i win the gold at junior worlds, I get to choose my music ALWAYS

AND HE WON

oh and kouyou also trains him, she's his choerographer

but like his brother he gets a bad injury during the Olympics, hide it, and it gets worst at words, so he needs surgery and he takes a whole year to heal

anyway after retiring he goes into coaching, and skk get to get marred and have a kid

also he's terrible at intweviews during his whole carrer, he doesn't have a filter

and he's plushie is of course a tinny dog

The other au is: ice dancers skk

because listen, I love ice dance, and I've been in this fandom since 2016 so you know, the moment i sat in front of my TV watching VirtueMoir skating to Moulin rouge I KNEW THAT WAS SOMETHING MEANT FOR SKK

I know dazai is strong, but I choose ice dancing for them instead of pairs becase I still think that, even if he's strong, Dazai is quite lazzy

They're insane in ice dance, they lifts are, so SO SOSOSO ACROBATIC, they're so in sync that it's scary

also win a lot, they retire a little latter becuse ice dancing is """""easier"""" so they stay in top until their 30s and retire

and well, the kid happens here too because it's my other self indulent thing, he borns during the covid seaons, so they only miss a season and half as they recover and adapt, do a few more seasons where a whole horde of uncles and unties take care of the kid while his parents win medals, and when they finally retire, it's in part so they can foccus on the family they're creating

oh and this chuuya (because i can never leave him alone) gets a small plot of having fribromialgia

the diagnosis is actually what makes skk switch from pairs to ice dance, so it won't take such a tool in chuuya's body

inspiration?? VirtueMoir, SuiHan, Smart/Diaz, Sara/Kirill (can you tell I love pair events???) they're so elegant

Like Poirier/Gilles?? I may have not liked them this season, but the last ones??? the elegance in their Vangoh one?? god insane, i want that for skk

they're elegant and risky and bold, as they get older they lean more in the Daisuke/Muramoto style, older figure skaters everyone looks up to and everyone loves

they're glued by the hip, never seen apart

The base of this one would be their kid in the futyre giving an interview about his parents, like a 10 aniversary thing of skk first OLympic medal, and we'll see their storie like a docuentary

(this is fun because one scene is the reporter showing an old video of skk to the kid and the video is an interview that goes like:

Reporter would you like it if your kid become a figure skater?

skk: no, they would like a sport easier and more natural for the body for the kid.

cut back to the kid in the docomentary sayinf that teehee, he did become a figure skater in the end)

and well that's more or less everything

SORRY IF IT¡S TOO MUCH

also my dms are open if you want to talk

[freyaswolf]

For years, I lived in bewildered befuddlement regarding the musical musings of Taylor Swift. I usually listen to rock or metal, so her brand of pop was not a part of my usual lineup. However, I gained lovely friends here on Tumblr who swear by our Lady TayTay, so I decided I should check out her stuff. But there was SO MUCH, I didn't even know where to start. Luckily, my dearest mutual and actual friend, @idontgettechnology , took pity on me and made me the most amazing playlist to get me started. She titled it Taylor Swift 101, with a description of "Class is is session bish".

I spent today working my way through it, and it was a revelation! I took notes, cause that's what you're supposed to do in class, so here are my highlights from the 56 song playlist. I know I'm missing out on years of lore regarding TSwift, but I'm eager to learn. After a few more listens I may even be ready for the 201 level of this class lol

Notes below the cut, to save your scrolling thumb 😜

Ok, here we go! (I'm pretty sure these are in the intended order, and mostly these are first impressions)

1. Fifteen: wow, this took me straight back to highschool!

2. Teardrops on my Guitar: yep, I'm already hooked

3. Fearless: UGH!!!!

4. Tied Together with a Smile: FUCK!

5. Whitehorse: Holy shit!

6. Cold as You: DAMN!!!

7. You Belong with Me: (SCREAMING) I'm officially invested!

8. Stay Beautiful: 😍😍😍

9. That's The Way I Loved You: FUUUUUUCK!!!

10. Come Back, Be Here: I'm dead over this one ☠️

11. Sparks Fly: EHRMEHGHERD!!!

12. All Too Well: DUUUUUDE!!! I think this is about Jake Gyllenhaal? Also, OOOUUUUUCCCHHH, I can feel her pain!

13. Dear John: EW! Girl, he's a toxic ass narcissist! Babygirl, you need to ditch those boys, get you a girlfriend instead. I volunteer as tribute, or I would if I wasn't too old and boring lol

14. I Almost Do: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

15. Enchanted: Oh the feels!!! Also, my personal head canon is that this is about Chris Evans 😜

16. Red: oh boy, have I been here!

17. Long Live: THIS IS SUCH A GREAT SONG! OH MY HEART!

18. Blank Space: HA! I love this song!

19. Out of the Woods: girl does not have normal relationships

20. How You Get the Girl: OOOOF! I mean come on, she's literally giving instructions!

21. Bad Blood: Fuck you song if ever I heard one! "You made this mess, you know that right?" Kinda vibes

22. Clean: (hand over heart in salute) I feel you sis!

23. Wonderland: Love this! Also, who is this green eyed boy she keeps mentioning?!

24. Look at What You Made Me Do: love this! "Fine, now I'm the bad guy" vibes 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

25. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DUDE!!! LOVE THIS!!! 🤣

26. Gorgeous: Love this! UGH SHUT UP YOUR PRETTY FACE! Also about Chris Evans lol

27. Getaway Car: Damn, I've had a few of these, and yeah nothing good happens in a getaway car. Doomed! Lol

28. Dress: HOT!!!

29. New Years Day: Oh my heart!!!

30. The Man: FUCK YES!!!

31. The Archer: wow, exhausting/exhausted, this poor kid!

32. London Boy: FUCK. (This totally made me think of JQ) lol

33. Paper Rings: LOVE!!! ❤️❤️❤️

34. Cruel Summer: relatable lol

35. Cardigan: Sobbing 😭

36. Ivy: UGH! Made me cry!

37. Exile: FML. SOBBING. FR UGLY CRYING.

38. Champagne Problems: this girl needs a hug

39. Illicit Affairs: OUCH!

40. Coney Island: 🖤

41. Hoax: I am bereft. I feel like I just broke up with all of my exes at once.

42. Gold Rush: definitely about Chris Evans. Also the way I flirt, if you're too perfect, I avoid and ignore. And if I can't do that, I heckle.

43. Tis the Damn Season: FEEEEELS!!!

44. Mirrorball: she needs all of the hugs, and some real friends.

45. No Body, No Crime: I would absolutely hide bodies for her. I would die for her.

45. Betty: I have questions? Also, I 🖤 when she says fuck.

46: Evermore: I liked it, but I didn't have a definitive "note"

47. Antihero: HA!

48. Maroon: I really love it when she says fuck. It may be a new kink for me.

49. Lavender Haze: I really want her to get a girlfriend.

50. You're on Your Own Kid: SO GOOD!

51. Bejeweled: FUCK YES!!!

52. Mastermind: 😈😈😈 I've done this. This is me.

53. The Great War: bonded like war buddies lol

54. High Infidelity: Feels decidedly Hellcheery

55. Would've Could've Should've: DAAAAAMMMMNNN!!!!

56. Dear Reader: WOW

And I am SPENT! This was a rollercoaster of emotions, and I enjoyed the whole fucking time. I am now a ride or die T Swift fan. Dude, I had no idea. Thank you so much MJ for this guided tour, I had the best time today! 🥰

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 32 Week 5: A Tribute Fit for a Legend

So this is super late. I did not realize how much I did not want to write about 5 contemporaries that I did not find to be all that good or interesting. Only one was cool. The rest I either didn't care about at all or just weren't all that good. So what I'm gonna do is talk about the Len tribute, my favorite dance of the night and then talk about my general feelings about the rest of the night.

Len Tribute

Len's tribute was the best moment of the night for me. I kinda miss watching a straightforward ballroom routine. Over the last 5 years, we've gotten so far from that with all the themes and the desires to be different that the pros are creating a lot of unmemorable dances because they're losing the essence of the show and the dance. This waltz really captured the essence of the show and was such a beautiful tribute to someone that had such a major impact on this part of the dance community. I love rule breaking and updating dances as much as the next person, but only if there is a well thought out reason behind it and you're not just throwing things together. Anyway, I may have had my feelings about Len from time to time, but I cannot deny his impact and how much all of us will miss his presence. What a great way to honor him.

Favorite Dance

With all I said about traditional routines, I have to say that Barry and Peta's paso was my favorite dance of the night for the same reason that I really enjoyed the waltz for Len. It was a classic paso and we really got to see Barry at his best so far. He did extremely well and that dance left the biggest impact on me. The score was appropriate and I have to say that it might be my favorite dance of the season so far.

Thoughts on the Contemporaries

I didn't care for them at all. Charity's was weird and kinda detached from the music. Harry's was bad. Mauricio and Mira's were non events (and Mira's was kinda cringey). Lele's was cool but again, I just didn't even really care for it. I never want another night of 5 contemporaries. It's too much. Especially because we mostly have untrained pros putting these dances together and they always end up looking the same.

General Thoughts

No one deserved a 10. I think Charity and Jason deserved the highest scores with 27s. Xochitl should've gotten a 26 because they were some pitter patter moments throughout the dance. I thought Ariana had her best dance of the season. Alyson was fine. There could've been more in hold. Jason still needs to work on his hold. Also, I'm not shocked that Mira was eliminated. That was the most obvious elimination of the season to me. Yeah, that's really it.

I also do not like the fact that the show is keeping the judges' save around without actually committing to whether or not it is going to be something that they use. At this point, we know it is coming back up this season. Be honest and let us know that it will be returning during a double. Either do that or it looks like you're only keeping it around to save Charity, Ariana, Xochitl or Jason if they end up in the bottom with Harry or Alyson. And while it would be hard to lose one of those four over the other two, it happens. We don't get to pick and choose how we let this show be this show. Either force the judges to judge properly or don't bring this shit back next season, Conrad. And this is on him because he loves to play these games with trying to keep people over others in ways that he feels is slick (when it's not and I see right through him and have since the stuff he pulled back in season 12).

Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

[lgcmanager]

TEAM UNKNOWN 001

SCHEDULE TYPE: TRIMESTER ( PART 1 OUT OF 1 ) SCHEDULE RESTRICTIONS: cannot be paired with another trimester schedule, unless stated otherwise. for reference as to whether your muse is eligible for this event, please click over HERE.

( ooc note: as stated in the previous post, this meeting take place on APRIL 10. however, we are aware that you've all worked hard during this season of future dreams 6 and not making it in NOVA might be dejecting and leave you in uncertainty concerning your characters. as we wish to aleviate worries and anxieties regarding the future of your charcters and if we have/there has future plans for them, we've decided to post TEAM UNKNOWN's trimester mission this week instead of the next. some things might miss context (like the trainees workshops) and this is because we've moved this post up by one week. everything should be clarified by next ac, thank you for your understanding )

early morning on APRIL 10, KIM HYUNCHEOL is already waiting for the girls in the meeting room as they come in. he waits for all of the them be comfortably seated to start on the day's topic: "i hope you all had a good week off. i've left you with a bit a bit of a mystery before we parted ways, so without further ado, lets get into the thick of it. TEAM UNKNOWN, isn't as vague as it sounds, and used to easily refer to the 5 of you as a whole, since you'll be working on TWO DIFFERERENT GOALS. first, LIU YUXI and YANG AERA; you will be making DEBUT PREPARATIONS to join FABULA and/or CRYSTALLIS. meanwhile, CHA SORI, KIM YUJIN NOH AREUM and PARK JAEKYUNG; you'll be preparing for LGC GIRLS JAPAN 2023."

HYUNCHEOL takes a short break to give them time to digest the news before continuing on to explain their schedule:

ODD WEEKS

MON-FRI: JAPANESE LESSONS (8AM-12PM) / PRACTICE for an LGC JAPANESE RELEASE (1PM-5PM)

SATURDAYS: JAPANESE EXAM & GROUP SONG EVALUATION

EVEN WEEKS

MON-FRI [WEEKS 2 and 4]: ENGLISH LESSONS (8AM-12PM) / REGULAR TRAINEES WORKSHOPS (1PM-5PM)

MON-FRI [from WEEK 6]: ENGLISH LESSONS (8AM-12PM) / [LGC GIRLS JAPAN] SOLO EVALUATION PREPARATION or [YUXI & AERA] FABULA & CRYSTALLIS' songs PRACTICE (1PM-5PM)

SATURDAYS: ENGLISH EXAM & GROUP SONG/SOLO EVALUATION

since KIM YUJIN and NOH AREUM are already fluent (enough) in ENGLISH, they'll instead receive ADDITIONAL JAPANESE LESSONS on EVEN WEEKS. the english exam will also be replaced by a japanese exam.

we expect each girls to gain around 15 POINTS in EACH language throughout the trimester (or 30 POINTS in JAPANESE for AREUM and YUJIN).

DETAILED SCHEDULE

WEEK 1 [ APRIL 10 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / GIRLS GOTTA LIVE (lgc girls japan)

WEEK 2 [ APRIL 17 ]: ENGLISH LESSONS / WORKSHOP (voice diction)

WEEK 3 [ APRIL 24 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / CRIMSON DRESS (lgc girls japan)

WEEK 4 [ MAY 1 ]: ENGLISH LESSONS / WORKSHOP (characterization)

WEEK 5 [ MAY 8 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / CANDY (blazing)

WEEK 6 [ MAY 15 ]: ENGLISH LESSONS / SOLO EVAL PREPARATIONS or COOL (fabula)

WEEK 7 [ MAY 22 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / WILDSIDE (blazing)

WEEK 8 [ MAY 29 ]:  ENGLISH LESSONS / SOLO EVAL PREPARATIONS or FIESTA (crystallis)

WEEK 9 [ JUNE 5 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / BREAKTHROUGH (lgc girls japan)

WEEK 10 [ JUNE 12 ]: ENGLISH LESSONS / SOLO EVAL PREPARATIONS or HOW YOU LIKE THAT (fabula)

WEEK 11 [ JUNE 19 ]: JAPANESE LESSONS / DANCE WITH ME NOW (blazing)

WEEK 12 [ JUNE 26 ]: ENGLISH LESSONS / SOLO EVAL PREPARATIONS or BUTTERFLY (crystallis)

HOBBY

"as you might have noticed, this schedule gives you a lot of free time on SATURDAYS. and this has been designed on purpose; the company wants you to spend your SATURDAYS afternoon trying out new things and finding HOBBIES unrelated to your career. this will not only help you develop skills outside of entertainment industry, but help you get your mind off training and rehearsing. join a painting class, try pilates, sign up for climbing classes, get baking lessons... anything, as long as it has nothing to do with the entertainment industry! this has been highly recommended by the company's psychologist, who also wants you to know that her door is opened if you ever need to talk!"

REQUIREMENTS

TRAINING SESSIONS: write a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) with another trainee about anything related to/happening during the shedule above. completing this will earn you +8 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE ! ** can be done up to three times, as long as it is with different partners. on a total of THREE THREADS; one of your partners MUST be part of TEAM UNKNOWN and one of your partners MUST be a TRAINEE outside of team unknown**

HOBBY: write a 300+ word solo about your character participating in their new hobby. completing this will earn you +6 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE !

make sure to use the hashtag lgc:tumission for all of the tasks. you have until JUNE 17, 2023 at 11:59PM EDT to complete the requirements and validate your points. please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog.

MUSE NAME ∙ TEAM UNKNOWN MISSION 001

 - TRAINING SESSIONS: +8 ( skill points distribution )  [ LINK ] ** can be done three times **  - HOBBY: +6 ( skill points distribution ) [ LINK ]

[janus-cadet]

J'ai publié 61 fois en 2022

49 billets créés (80%)

12 billets reblogués (20%)

Les blogs que j'ai le plus reblogués :

@mimmixerenard

@jonathanstims

@mimmixereblogs

J'ai étiqueté 56 billets en 2022

Seulement 8% de mes billets ne comportaient pas de tag

#fanart - 18 billets

#digital art - 18 billets

#artwork - 17 billets

#tarot card - 10 billets

#le visiteur du futur - 9 billets

#vdf - 8 billets

#art request - 8 billets

#tarot card concept - 8 billets

#sanders sides - 8 billets

#pride month 2022 - 8 billets

Tag le plus long : 98 caractères

#but i mean if you're looking for stuff about the corinthian you are probably not triggered by eyes

Mes billets vedette en 2022 :

n°5

This one was request quite a few time on Instagram- therefore, many version of the same drawings. I would love to make a version for each one, but let’s be honest, time is working against me! 

And it’s not like I will never draw that character again.

Sooo here come our favorite demon, Crowley, with the non-binary, genderfluid and mlm flag.

Voir l'intégralité du billet

286 notes - publié le 22 juin 2022

n°4

I’ve started a drawing before the six fanarts challenge, and therefore, I’m finishing it now. Like, let’s call it a sort-of-a-break, while being aware it’s not really a break, since it’s definitely more complicated than a serie of portrait...  

So basically, I was feeling hyped because of the second season, and I drew the Ineffable Husbands from Good Omens. It’s been so long since I last drew them!

Yes, I wanted to draw the wings- but more importantly, Crowley’s hair. So yes, it’s the part of the drawing I spent most of the time on.

I still like the ensemble! It was supposed to be a background for my computer.

Voir l'intégralité du billet

317 notes - publié le 22 février 2022

n°3

It's been a while since I last drew a simple portrait, and I did not realise how much I loved and missed it! Alan Rickman is a delight to draw.

I think I might try to make prints for that one, in a close future.

571 notes - publié le 8 novembre 2022

n°2

I seem to be on my way to do all Major Arcanes, and, for some reason, also the Suit of Swords. Ah, well.

Today, I drew the Seven of Swords ; and who's better to incarnate a card about betrayal, deception, lies et keeping secrets than our one and onely Lord Of the Lies, Janus Sanders ?

Believe it or not, the swords were actually not easy to draw. I am no sword-person. So why draw the Suit of Swords ? Eh.

Upright, this card indicates theft, trickery, among other things : you may be trying to get away with something, or are being sneaky. You use cunning and deception to get the advantage in situations. On another note, it suggests that you may need to put yourself first to get that stuff you want, and grossly, don't hesitate to, ya know, attack the Piñata. Sometimes, you need to put your own needs first, even if other may not agree with you.

Reversed, the cards implies you feel like a fraud, that you are deceiving yourself, attempt to fool yourself that everything is okay when it's not. Il represents keeping secrets hidden from others, which may bring you stress, tension, along with guilt and shame.

I think you can see why I picked my favorite snake to represente the card !

Voir l'intégralité du billet

611 notes - publié le 2 août 2022

Mon billet n°1 en 2022

I may developped a fixation on that movie. And on that guy. Oopsie daisies.

“There was blood all over my nice antic couch.

- Which one ? The red one ?

- Well, it’s red now, Ja.”

668 notes - publié le 26 mai 2022

Obtenez votre année 2022 en revue sur Tumblr →

[sevenmilliongoldfish]

I posted 7,377 times in 2022

That's 7,083 more posts than 2021!

49 posts created (1%)

7,328 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@seafoam-blues

@gayafmermaid

@sp-aace

@blackbeardskneebrace

@frog-cult-leader

I tagged 1,925 of my posts in 2022

#wwdits - 251 posts

#ofmd - 227 posts

#stranger things - 165 posts

#eurovision - 159 posts

#esc 2022 - 152 posts

#dimension 20 - 124 posts

#good omens - 104 posts

#doctor who - 89 posts

#fantasy high - 85 posts

#bbc ghosts - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#(it’s not even the first time he’s done this. it’s at least the third. but this is the first time he’s outted me as trans and i’m pissed)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There are probably more fans of San Mariano’s entry in Eurovision this year than there are people in San Marino…

26 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#4

Gender of the Day:

See the full post

29 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

#3

okay so like i know that at the end of the new episode jodie whittaker’s doctor is going to regenerate and ncuti gatwa will be the new doctor etc etc and i have come to accept that (mostly) (i’ll still miss jodie a lot)

bUT this thought did not cross my mind until now: what if sacha dhawan’s master regenerates???? i am not ready to let him go!! dhawan!master has been one of my favourite parts, if not my favourite part, of chris chibnall’s era and i am in no way ready to give that up!!!

anyway fingers crossed that sacha dhawan will still be the master for a few more seasons bc i think he’s simply the best

37 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

#2

i had a dream last night that at the end of stranger things 5 will FINALLY admits his feelings for mike and IMMEDIATELY gets sent to the Upside Down, closing the gate to the Upside Down forever and saving Hawkins bc of something or other (maybe he made a deal with Vecna).

38 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

it’s november 5th. officially coming out as someone who has seen all 15 seasons of supernatural.

431 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[depressedhouseplant]

JFW Stats for Fun and Learning

Since I haven’t updated JFW in about a month, I thought it was time to go back for another stats post. I modified the criteria slightly for when I started doing posts over the course of several days instead of 1 entry. Now only the first entry would be counted in either the Top 10 or Hall of Shame unless it was an actual sequel. Reblogs are used as tie breakers in the case of the same like count.

There were some changes to the Top 10, but not many. I’m pretty sure nothing will unseat number one especially since I don’t plan on writing anything else for JFW (but never say never, eh?)

The Top 10 JFW Entries:

Doting BF Felix Y/N - 136 likes - posted January 26

2. Yunho Best Man / Maid of Honor Y/N - 81 likes - posted January 24

3. Ateez Valentine’s Day OT8 - 69 likes (yes I laughed like the mature adult I am) - posted February 14

4. Wooyoung Next Door Neighbor Y/N - 50 likes - posted February 20

5. Yunho Best Man / Maid of Honor Y/N - 47 likes - posted February 1

6. Yunho Royalty Y/N - 44 likes - posted March 7

7. Yungi Youth - 43 likes - posted January 17

8. Hyunjae Strangers at the Club Y/N - 41 likes - posted January 29

9. Juyeon / Aeri Hookup - 33 likes - posted April 24

10. Sunwoo / Yeji / Belle - 33 likes - posted May 10

The Juyeon / Aeri Hookup entry moved up 1 spot to 9 and the Sunwoo / Yeji / Belle entry took the 10 spot since it had 1 reblog, but Juyeon / Aeri Hookup had 2 reblogs. Part 2 of Doting Boyfriend Felix was previously 9 and is now 11.

The Bottom 10 JFW Entries:

SKZ OT8 Werewolves - 1 like - posted August 10 (this entry does include references to relationship violence so I’m not surprised)

2. Chanlix FWB - 1 like - posted January 4 (I’m not sure why y’all didn’t like this one, but you didn’t)

3. Milkyu Knife Play - 2 likes - posted October 14 (I can see why this one didn’t do well either, but aren’t the denizens of Tumblr supposed to be little freaks?)

4. Sunghoon Secret Virgin Y/N - 2 likes - posted July 15 (I left y’all hanging with this one so again I’m not surprised)

5. Jumil Arranged Marriage - 2 likes - posted June 25 (I’m a little confused with this one. The one directly after it got 6 likes. Were you expecting smut & disappointed?)

6. Younghoon / Aria Blind Date - 2 likes - posted June 4 (I’m also confused by this one. The other BG/GG pairings did relatively well but this one flopped like a dying fish. Again, expectation of smut?)

7. SOPE Seasons - 2 likes - posted April 29 (After people begging me for BTS, I give BTS & get…crickets)

8. Vmin Models - 2 likes - posted April 28 (No one here likes Vmin I guess?)

9. Woosang Grief - 2 likes - posted April 2 (I get this one because it touches on a pretty heavy subject)

10. Bbangju Royalty - 2 likes - posted April 1 (This one was violent so I get it)

Now for a new entry into my stats pool. I’m going to offer the top 5 underrated entries that I posted. These are ones I’m really proud of, think you should give a try if you haven’t, or I just wanted to give them some airtime that they might have otherwise missed.

The Top 5 Criminally Underrated JFW Entries According To The Author:

Mingi “Daddy” Y/N - 21 likes - posted February 29 - Free your minds! Eschew gender roles! Bask in the glory of a man calling a woman daddy!

2. Jumil Moonrock - 8 likes - posted May 18 - They made a video set to a song about fucking when you’re stoned off your ass. What did you want me to do? Also I think it’s decent smut.

3. Hyunjin / Juyeon Car Sex - 7 likes - posted April 23 - I feel like this is more than smut, it’s also an expression of love. However, the 2 Juyeon / GG crossovers were posted immediately after this one so it might have gotten lost in the shuffle.

4. The Entire Apocalypse AU - Just read it & give it a try, yeah? Also it’s about the only place you’re gonna see TXT in here.

5. Namgi Mirrors on the Ceiling - 2 likes - posted January 11 - It was my birthday & I was trying to be funny. C’mon y’all.

In all seriousness, thank you to everyone who has taken time out of their day to keep up with JFW or anything I’ve written. It means the world to me that people read (and hopefully enjoy!) my silly little stories. As of right now I’m still taking a break from writing. I’ll know when I’m ready to come back. Until then, please keep liking, reblogging, and commenting. It really does make my day.

XOXO

[wolint]

OPPORTUNITIES!

OPPORTUNITIES

Ephesians 5:16

Opportunities they say come but once.

An opportunity is an occasion that falls in our way or presents itself during an event; an opportunity is a convenience or fitness of time and place for something to happen.

In the tapestry of life, opportunities weave their threads, creating moments that can shape our destiny. The Bible speaks eloquently about seizing these divine chances, recognizing their significance, and responding with wisdom and courage.

Life is defined by opportunities missed and opportunities seized. We must learn to take advantage of the right opportunities when they are presented by responding with bold action when we recognise them as God-given chances to participate in His purpose.

Redemption is the preciousness of an opportune season; the opportune time accorded every human by God. Opportunity in a narrower sense, is a special favourable season for good, occasionally presenting itself, which believers ought to diligently avail themselves of, Ephesians 5:15.

Like the sons of Issachar, we need to watch the time and make it our own to control it; as business-minded people lookout for opportunities, and accurately choose the best goods and services on offer; as believers, we do not serve time, but command it and appropriate the opportunities time gives, and it shall do what you approve.

We should always be ready to seize opportunities to witness for Christ. Sooner or later, that opportunity may come as a conversation in the office, through a discussion with the neighbour over the fence, or a chance conversation at the supermarket, bus stop, café, and school ground. For Philip, the opportunity came as the Spirit prompted him to strike up a conversation with a foreigner who happens to be struggling to understand the scriptures. Acts 8:26-38.

We should always be alert to seize the opportunities to share our faith with others, ask the Holy Spirit to open our eyes, heart and mind to the opportunities that lie ahead of us daily, just like Philip.

Paul says that a wide door of opportunity opened to him but with adversaries. It would be wonderful if he had left that part out. But he did not. The devil is not going to sit down, rollover, and play dead and let us seize any opportunity without a fight. 1 Corinthians 16:9. Every opportunity that God gives you demands a steadfast, persevering spirit. You must be willing to take risks, lay it all on the line, and even be willing to lose it all to seize an opportunity.

Every problem is an opportunity in the making! Christ helps us turn such problems into opportunities as He did with His first miracle of turning water into wine in Matthew 25:1-13.

Have you ever said, "I wish I would have thought of that?" That means you only recognize opportunity after you see someone else doing it first. We need to become more sensitive to the opportunities and the open doors that God presents in our lives.

When we seize opportunities and make use of the resources and tools available to us, we find satisfaction in our accomplishment and reward for our effort.

God has presented us with the individual ability and opportunity to invest for the good and growth of His kingdom, to this end we must take every opportunity to use our gifts for God.

Someone once said that if all you see are obstacles, then you have taken your eyes off the goals. You are no longer focused on your opportunities and visions if you’re not focused on Jesus.

Sometimes, turning an opportunity into a reality looks impossible to the point that it will keep you from even trying at all. If you do not try, then there is no possible way to succeed.

When God gives you a vision, do not quit until you seize it! To seize your opportunity, you must be willing to stretch yourself, take risks and aim high! Heed the wisdom of Scripture, recognizing that every moment holds potential.

PRAYER: Lord, God grant me the grace to see the opportunities before and the wisdom and strength to seize them in Jesus’ name, amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT’L PRAYER MIN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT AND GENEROSITY.

Follow the FRESH MANNA CHANNEL on Telegram: https://t.me/freshmdevo

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PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING US TO UPGRADE OUR RECORDING EQUIPMENT TO ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF OUR EPISODES. ANY CONTRIBUTION, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby - September 2024 (Total Count: 20)

Now Comes the Fun Part (The How-the-f*#k- did-I-get-this-old Musical) September 1, 2024 | Off-Broadway | York Theatre | Evening | Musical | Original | 1H 30M A Lovely Night

The Roommate September 5, 2024 | Broadway | Booth Theatre | Evening | Play | Original | 1H 40M You Can Pry This Show Out of My Cold Dead Hands

Suffs September 6, 2024 | Broadway | Music Box Theatre | Evening | Musical | Original | 2H 30M Why I Love the Theatre

Forbidden Broadway: Merrily We Stole a Song September 14, 2024 | Off-Broadway | Theatre 555 | Matinee | Musical | Original | 1H 30M A Lovely Night

Our Class September 15, 2024 | Off-Broadway | Classic Stage Company | Matinee | Play | Original | 2H 50M Well...I'm Glad I Saw It

An Evening with Broadway Legend LaChanze September 15, 2024 | 54 Below | Evening | Cabaret | Series | 1H 20M You Can Pry This Show Out of My Cold Dead Hands

Black Mother, Lost Daughter September 17, 2024 | Atlantic Theater Company | Evening | Play | Reading | 1H 30M You Can Pry This Show Out of My Cold Dead Hands

The Beacon September 18, 2024 | Off-Broadway | Irish Repertory Theatre | Evening | Play | 2H 30M Why I Love the Theatre

Malcriada September 19, 2024 | Atlantic Theater Company | Evening | Play | Reading | 2H 20M Enjoyable, But Left No Lasting Impression

The Hills of California September 20, 2024 | Broadway | Broadhurst Theatre | Evening | Play | Original | 2H 45M A Lovely Night

Counting and Cracking September 21, 2024 | Off-Broadway | NYU Skirball | Matinee | Play | Original | 3H 30M You Can Pry This Show Out of My Cold Dead Hands

Fish September 18, 2024 | Developmental Presentation | Signature Theatre | Evening | 1H 30M Enjoyable, But Left No Lasting Impression

Broadway Flea Market & Grand Auction 2024 September 22, 2024 | BC/EFA | All Day | Event | Auction | 10H A Lovely Night

Miss Lulu Bett September 23, 2024 | Classic Stage Company | Evening | Play | Reading | 2H A Lovely Night

Kaufman Music Center Season Kickoff September 24, 2024 | Kaufman Music Center | Evening | Event | 45M Enjoyable, But Left No Lasting Impression

Selected Shorts: Banned Books with Judy Blume September 26, 2024 | Symphony Space | Evening | Reading | Series | 2H 5M Why I Love the Theatre

Yellow Face September 26, 2024 | Broadway | Todd Haimes Theatre | Evening | Play | Revival | 1H 40M You Can Pry This Show Out of My Cold Dead Hands

Campaign for Kamala Cabaret September 28th, 2024 | Don't Tell Mama | Afternoon | Cabaret | Fundraiser | 2H Well...I'm Glad I Saw It

Dirty Laundry September 29, 2024 | Off-Broadway | WP Theater | Matinee | Play | Original | 1H 30M A Lovely Night

Sunset Boulevard September 30, 2024 | Broadway | St. James Theatre | Evening | Musical | Revival | 2H 30M ALW Memorial Landfill

Monthly Masterposts: January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October | November | December

[ksouul]

april 26

as we switch seasons, the fixed state through these degrees are narrowing down my focus. the field in which i'm feeling through are three things. health, creativity in authentic taste and personal aesthetic, and dialog.

at my peak, I was someone who was pivotal. the ripples of my choices in the encouragement and motivation I'd offer in conversations would lead me closer and closer to opportunities that felt necessary. i'd like to say right for me but even that piece of the truth is trivial. til today, i'd like not to lean onto my own conceptions and continue to try and run all facets on the different angles God's truth has to offer. in English 101, they call it rhetorical thinking. my fixation on astrology in mind has surely stemmed from my mother. she's shared with me that any piece of revelation she ties to its science and I think it hinders me from enjoying life purely. what is pure to me? it's innocence. it's looking at a tree and not putting any names to it or any language to try and explain their movement. its looking up at the sky and enjoying what you see for what it is. not naming the cloud or being curious to what their name is but trying to understand the picture its creating instead or creating your own art with the strokes or fluffs given. truly don't know what it is i'm going through but I've gone through enough rounds around the sun to identify the motions and patterns of my timeline to catch that my need to run all facets is critical to my growth in the next 6 months.

I am at a time in my life where the facets need to be cleaned. all the pipes feel like they need to be changed. perhaps I can prepare for when it's time to install them. I graduate in August and as much as I love education, college is a flow I don't think would be fair for me to go through again. I am at a time in my life where i'm understanding the alchemy of surrendering into what my heart truly desires. my heart is devoted to the Kingdom and to the teachings that Jesus Christ doctrine has taught me. I've only ever gotten this far because of philosophers stone. where the heart and mind bind together to be purified. pushing through to graduation though has led me to forcefully learn and in ways it does wonders. if one was to say that you have to go at things consistently to obtain what you want, I believe that to a fault. I've learned that feelings aren't facts. if I don't feel like going to the gym but know that I have to, it must be done. but those are actions. forcing myself to be taught, hits differently. I think it runs me dry but thank Creation for coffee. i'm truly so thankful for this break. my first two days I didn't do anything but sleep and was revamped with the energy I miss so much within myself. the drive and passion for a better tomorrow and I still have yet to sit down and understand where that flow clogged up. I could name a few things but I've also been slowing down on physical activities to rest more. since the times changed i'm still trying to recover. the longer days holds me to wanna be a part of it til the end and the beginning to wind down at late 8pm close to 9 is causing me to go under to getting sleep for only 6 hours or 5 at most. impressed though as always, my ability to pull through and still make the best of what I can do which seems to be elevating at new heights.

for a second, I was chasing the whirlwind. where I was 6 months ago my plans to where I would be now is no where near what i've envisioned and my adaptability took me at the least 3 weeks to regain the plans I have to stay on the path. I just wanna be filled with trees surrounding me though. to lose sight of the sky and where I am and walk aimlessly. which is why I state that the education flow in this system is not for me. that it isn't fair to me. some may say that aiming aimlessly is a fault and I beg to differ. I find its beauty in it as well as its chaos and I truly am not withered by it. but maybe I am which is why if I hadn't had a break any sooner, I would have reached my burn out and I know it. these breaks are saving my life. which seems so selfish because my heart is on fire when I try to plan ways to save others. so much depth. not enough surface to swim in it, not just yet. I know I have to finish through though and again my hearts desires are not just for me. at 19 I was told to go out on this field and have come to accumulate for the many reasons of why. I only have 3 more months once i'm back and it. will. take. me. to. so. many. doors.

the balance of discipline and freedom. that is what I am learning. that is what I am being taught. in this jar holds many pieces of unfolding wisdom. which brings me to an idea I should create for my new home with my family. although where I envisioned i'd be 6 months ago isn't anywhere near where I would think I'd be now, it's much more beautiful than I could've ever thought for it to go and life has shown me that every. single. time. although what I envisioned was more from the mind, these flowers grew through concrete and I didn't realize how hardened my heart was. the tears I've cried have grown what's coming and is yet to come and for that holds the truth that justice will be served as long as I continue to face the atrocities bravely and find each opportunity I can to encourage others not to turn a blind eye. this revolution of ours is near and I always knew as a child that this is the lifetime I get to see it for humanity. why? because I wouldn't dare let my niece or the kids of my niece and nephews live in a world like this. and for their own troubles in their timelines, they'll create a better world for the next to come. this is evolution. not just a revolution. it is so important and the voices that continue to amplify tell it so.