#miss her so she didn’t really care at some point. in the instances her scores were all miraculously perfect she was allowed home and spend

[pergaminaa]

Modern au:

When Dorian started dating Manon, he was able to see a few things in her that made him suspect something was off. At that point, he was able to see the pressure her grandmother put her under and he felt helpless in the face of that kind of thing.

Manon was really going out of her way to make sure everything is perfect and yet her grandmother kept scrutinizing her.

At formal events, he got to see that first hand. Manon would be super stressed, it would get worse about 2-3 days prior where her anxiety is at it’s peak; she won’t be able to sleep, and can’t keep anything down.

Dorian can see all of her effort and yet her grandmother’s responses are a variety of

“Don’t embarrass me,”

“What a disgrace,”

“This is worthless,”

And it really angers him.

But that was nothing compared to what he saw when they moved in together.

Prior to that, Manon was able to maintain her mask of aloofness and perfection. It was only when they lived together than Dorian saw how she struggles with insecurity and abandonment issues.

He learned of the long months she’d spend at boarding school, her grandmother wouldn’t allow her to return home if her grades are anything below a 100%. She’d call her an embarrassment and let her spend the holidays studying and making up for those grades.

He also saw how she struggles with boundaries sometimes. Moreover, he noticed that she instantly panics whenever she thinks that she made a mistake. Like forgetting her jacket on the counter, or leaving some of her work behind on the coffee table.

Dorian hates hates hates how her grandmother turned her into this person. She honestly believes that as soon as she commits the tiniest mistake, Dorian is going to leave and find someone better. He told her time and again that he doesn’t want anyone else, better or worse. He wants only her and nothing will ever change that.

But of course, his reassurance does nothing to elevate those issues that have been there for two decades. All he can is promise to always be there, that no matter what happens he isn’t going to leave or find someone else.

Now another issue is their families. They attend the same social circles and their families no each other. Chaol is against their relationship because he wants someone other than a Blackbeak to be with his friend. Aelin doesn’t care much, she tries to get along with Manon but the two of them don’t spend any time together to have any sort of relationship.

Then there are his parents; Georgina wants to pick her son’s lifelong partner. The fact that he’s with the Blackbeak heir infuriates her to no end.

Now normally he would ignore everyone and does as he pleases. However, now that he lives with Manon and knows exactly how vulnerable she is, he had a meeting with his parents and Chaol.

He sat them all down, and told them in no certain terms that if he brings Manon over for a visit, if any one of them make her feel unwanted, he’d get her out of there immediately and never return back there.

Dorian is serious, she’s been though enough and he sees how she struggles. That the perfectly put up woman is hiding a lot of things underneath and he hates how he can’t shoulder some of those things. All he can do is love her through it all and hope that one day it will be enough.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Wait, what? People actually liked Matilda the Musical 2022?

Okay so I recently watched Matilda the Musical 2022 on Netflix and I am...baffled by the score on rotten tomatoes. 93% rotten tomatoes score and 73% audience score.

What????

Casting is a mixed bag, to be honest. And I don’t wanna get too much into it, but here’s my rating of the cast. Miss Honey, Mrs. Phelps, and Matilda Wormwood were great. Matilda’s parents convincing jerks but perhaps a little bit too much because I just found them grating when they were on screen. I usually love Emma Thompson but truly hated her casting as Trunchbull. The prosthetics on her face did not look good and it just veered into uncanny valley for me. She was neither fun nor intimidating, so it just felt confused. A weird point of contention I have is that Bruce isn’t actually fat and that bothered me. All the kids do a great job singing and dancing. They’re impressive professionals and it’s not their fault I hated all the songs.

Tim Minchin is a very funny comedian and has been connected to some very fun projects. That being said, I hated most of the songs in this movie. Most of them were overly upbeat, even when the material was supposed to be a completely different tone. Very few of them actually allow a moment of quiet or a feeling other than ‘go go go’ for me. One of the few instances where they do allow it, shockingly, is where Matilda is getting angrier and angrier (sorry, I do not know song titles) and just when it seems like it should reach a peak of anger, it just...dies. And then it goes into a slow song and she pictures herself in the air. It felt very similar to a build up to a sneeze that never happens. Also, the final song where we get everyone suddenly ‘revolting’ because they’re ‘revolting’ children living in ‘revolting’ times? I cannot stress enough how much I fucking hated that song and how little I felt the movie earned that moment.

The lighting of the movie was digital for the most part (I think) and honestly didn’t look good in a lot of scenes, IMO. On top of that, we get a lot of weird things that absolutely, 100% did not need to be digital or CGI. The hat floating ahead of Matilda is not good CGI and it’s a total waste of that anyway. Attach the hat to a line and then attach it to a drone and then just edit out the drone. Why was the newt CGI? Why did it never actually really touch Miss Trunchbull? I’m sure the figure being made of chains is from the book or something, but it just looked stupid. And it ultimately attacked a thing that didn’t matter because the chokeys were literally never once used on screen. It comes up once in a song, is destroyed by Matilda, and then dozens of them show up just to be destroyed again.

Also, maybe the pacing works better in the stage production, but starting with the song about how parents love their babies but Matilda’s didn’t and then immediately going into a song from Matilda about how her parents don’t love her felt unnecessary at best. And then we get random songs that feel totally unnecessary, like Trunchbull singing about hammer throwing. Matilda having powers literally doesn’t show up until an hour into this two hour movie and they’re used so infrequently before the final confrontation that the entire part just feels shoehorned in. Truly could not care less about that song. The thing that destroyed the pacing for me though was the repeated just standstill the movie would come to in order to let Matilda tell an over the top story that ends up being the secret backstory to Miss Honey.

Miss Honey, by the way, who’s barely there and seems scared of her own shadow. Like, I just have a lot of icky feelings about Miss Honey being cast as a black woman only to live in a literal shed and take a backseat to the story of how her mother died. Like by the time the movie ends and Miss Honey volunteers to take care of Matilda, I’m deeply confused because they’ve had very little interaction (Matilda’s spent more time with Mrs. Phelps at this point) and there’s literally no place for Miss Honey to even keep Matilda! Like that’s a sweet gesture, ma’am, but where the fuck is this child going to live? That’s answered a few moments later with Miss Honey suddenly and miraculously having a house, but there’s not really rhyme or reason to it.

And here’s the part where I’m just gonna list things that were bad compared to the 1996 movie because I’ve gotta, okay? Edit: to be clear, I know the 2022 musical is not an adaption of the 1996 movie. This portion is to say strictly from the elements that the two movies share, the 1996 movie did those moments better. These are the points I know are heavily biased and not necessarily fair for a movie but that’s going to happen. No one ignores the existence of the pride and prejudice miniseries when talking about the Keira movie and comparing them doesn’t mean they think the movie is an adaptation of the miniseries. That being said, here are some comparisons between movies.

Matilda 1996 overall has a more cohesive narrative and theme going through it. Matilda actually has a fun build up of her powers and because most of the powers are created through practical effects, the overall end result is more charming and better. You cannot beat the Little Bitty Pretty One scene. Nothing the new movie does comes close to it. No, not even with the movie’s arguably great child actors dancing very well. The chokey in the 1996 movie is actually intimidating is actually used on screen. The chocolate cake and the way they filmed it manages to actually be simultaneously the most decadent amazing cake in existence and also viscerally disgusting. Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman are playing awful people but they are charming to watch. The goofs in the 1996 movie (the pranks to dad’s hair and hat, the newt, etc.) all just land way better as goofs. Hell, the musical didn’t even commit to the dye OR the hat in a good way.

TL;DR: I love some of the cast but fucking hell, Matilda the Musical sucked ass IMO. I’m glad y’all liked it but holy shit, I do not understand it.

[anauthore]

If the Rumours are True... (Kenny McCormick x Reader) {SERIES | Three}

Summary: The party at Wendy’s is more of a romp than you’re used to. The aftermath, also, is equally as unexpected.

Pairing: Kenny McCormick x Reader (she/her pronouns) - South Park

CW: implied sexual content / implied sexual content while intoxicated

NOTE: Every part of this series can be read as stand-alone, or as part of the series itself! If you don’t want to read each part on Tumblr, feel free to check out links to the work on the below websites:

Wattpad | Quotev | AO3

Fic Below the Cut | Previous Part | Next Part

South Park High, a school just as brutal (if not more) than any other high school peppered across the United States. There were cliques, clubs, boys, girls, and anything else you could imagine roaming the halls, ready to pounce.

You were luckier than most; you didn’t stand out at all. Sure, you had a small group of friends equally as normal as you, and sure, you turned in all of your assignments like a “goody-two-shoes”, but you blended in like camouflage in the forest.

At least, you did.

Your life has always been in the process of falling apart. You were used to the constant yelling and belittling of yourself, mostly from your parents. If anything, you’d used school- as hectic as it was- as an escape from all the shit in your day-to-day. You’d walk in, get noticed by no one, and stand in the corner, sit in your chair, get your work done, and leave. That’s how it’s always been, and the silence you’d brought along with you was always welcomed.

Today was different. Hell, last week was different. You weren’t one to go out and party, yet you took up the opportunity nearly as soon as it had fallen into your lap. You also didn’t ask for handouts or sleep in a stranger’s home, but when it was offered to you, you didn’t refuse. How could you? You needed help- Right?

You pushed open the double doors and breathed in the warmth from the heating system. You half-stomped, half-walked inside the building, getting extra snow from your boots before you found your usual waiting place; right around the corner of your class, conveniently in the front of the building just down the hall. You leant against the painted brick walls, trying to get your phone to connect to the school’s wifi before you gave up out of frustration- you understood why only teachers were allowed to connect, but that didn’t mean it didn’t piss you off some when you couldn't listen to music before class.

You took out your earbuds and wrapped the wire around your phone, shoving it into your pocket. You looked up just in time to make very brief eye contact with someone passing in the hall, and they snickered. Your brows furrowed, and you watched them slow down and whisper something to their partner before they pointed a thumb back in your direction. 

...What?

What could they possibly be talking about?

You didn’t do anything that would warrant gossip. You scoffed to yourself before a sinister thought crossed your mind: What did you do at the party? 

Anxiety built up in your chest as you racked your brain for any clue of something embarrassing you might’ve done. You just drank! You remembered playing beer pong, you remembered being really bad at it, but no instance of you completely embarrassing yourself came to mind.

You tapped your foot, waiting for the bell to ring and save you by ushering you and others to class. You wanted nothing more than to surround yourself in papers, work, and the silence that you’d grown to know as a friend, but you couldn’t. You, for the first time in a very long time, didn’t feel safe in the High School.

* * *

You sat in your seat- back corner, half-hidden by a structural mistake in the room that was a protruding wall. You leaned your head against your palm, leg bouncing as you tried not to stare at anyone that walked in after you. You heard mumbling and idle talk- it was Monday, and it’d been at least a few days before most people had had contact with their classmates. Greetings floated about before the teacher coughed and began his lesson.

You obediently pulled out a notebook and pencil, scribbling in the margins to distract yourself. You drew bottles and cigarettes, random circles, and a horrible rendition of a person. Before you knew it, class was over, and it was time to get up and leave.

You were the last one out of the room, and for good reason. The halls were crowded with people trying to get both here and there, but there was something else that you couldn’t put your finger on. You bumped elbows with some, and definitely were the subject for a group of laughing girls. Your blank expression didn’t change, but your pulse quickened, as did your pace. When you found a way out, you darted to your next class, ignoring anything and anyone that would possibly try and contact you.

It was like that for most of your day. Head down, dart to the next class. Do your work, turn it in, hide. You wanted nothing more than to be home right now- or at the very least, outside and away from everyone else. 

The period before lunch was the thing you were most looking forward to; Wendy Testaburger sat two seats down from you, and though you didn’t talk much with her, you knew she was at the party. You knew she had answers. She had to.

You left your stuff at your seat and waved to Wendy as she walked in. She smiled and waved back, as usual, but didn’t say anything important to you. You didn’t like to speak up when it was so quiet, but this was important.

“Hey, Wendy,” you called her quietly, hoping that she heard you.

She turned her head around and raised her eyebrows, letting you know that she heard you. “Yeah?”

“Uh, I need to talk to you. About the party. Did-” you quieted down some more, now that you knew she could hear you just fine, “did anything happen? Like, anything I should know about?”

She shook her head before she stopped herself, and started to laugh. “Well, actually, there are a few things you might not remember. Nothing bad though! I promise.” Her unfaltering smile calmed you some, but it could only give you so much comfort.

You nodded, waiting as she told you things you already knew. She told you just how much you sucked at beer pong, and how Stan- that was the black-haired boy’s name- made you drink every time you missed instead of every time you made a shot in. She laughed about how drunk you’d gotten, stumbling over and then nearly falling into Bebe when you realized you’d finally scored a point for them.

You nodded, but none of this helped. “So, I just got shitfaced and then went to sleep on your couch? That’s all that happened?”

She started to nod, but then stopped herself. “Well, no.”

When she didn’t elaborate, you pressed further. “Well, what? Seriously, Wendy, there are groups of girls I’ve never seen before laughing at me in the hallway. This is important.” You pled with your eyes and she bit her lip, giving in.

“Okay, but you didn’t hear this from me. Bebe didn’t want me to tell you. Girls’ oath, okay?” She stuck out her pinkie for you to take in a pinkie promise, and as childish as you thought it was, you humoured her and did as she asked.

When it was over, she nodded and leaned in, her voice now just a whisper. “Okay, so you already know you were very drunk. You had trouble walking up the stairs to go sit down and sober up, so I tried to help you but it wasn’t working out. Kenny- you know him, Stan’s friend who always wears orange?- Yeah, he took you upstairs and took care of you. He has more experience than anyone else in that matter, so it was better for him, you know?”

You blinked. Kenny helped you, again? You didn’t think he’d want anything else to do with you after you literally slept on his floor, but, as per usual, you were completely wrong in that regard.

“Wait, so Kenny ‘took care of me’? As in, gave me water and stuff, right?” Your intense gaze never once parted from hers, determined to scrounge up every piece of evidence you could on this case.

“Well, yeah. I don’t know exactly what he did, but I know he didn’t hurt you or anything. At least, not really.”

Confusion once again weighed on your eyebrows. “What do you mean, ‘not really’?”

She opened her mouth and then thought better of it, swallowing her words and looking to the side, as if she were being watched.

“Well, you know him. You know what he does.”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t know Kenny. You know him, and all of Cartman’s friends. I’ve only heard of him, and until the party, I haven’t really had anything to do with them!”

She seemed taken aback by your sudden outburst. “Jesus, (Y/n), you know what I meant. He’s a player. You know what they do- they sleep with girls and brag about it.”

Your stomach dropped and you could feel the butterflies of anxiety flutter through every part of you. “But he didn’t sleep with me.”

Wendy shrugged. “He didn’t have to. All he had to do was say he did.”

Your face scrunched up and you plopped back into your chair completely, Wendy turning back to face the front of the room. You had never been so angry, nor felt so used. You’d also never felt so forced out in the open.

Fuck it, you thought, endorsing your impulses for once, if he’s gonna push me out there, I might as well be out there.

* * *

The lunch bell rang and you practically leaped from your seat, fueled by anger and adrenaline. Maybe you were feeling excitement, too, but you couldn’t tell with the rising anxiety that accompanied your other feelings.

You walked past the lunch line and sat your bag down at your usual table, reserving your seat before you spun on your heel and searched for that orange wearing fucker. He was easy to spot, especially considering your town was small and the school even smaller. You stormed toward him, your feet flying across the cafeteria tile to meet him before he sat down.

Cartman was the first to notice you coming at them, his confused expression turning to one of annoyance before the others noticed you as well. You didn’t give anyone a chance to speak, however, before you opened your mouth and spat pure venom at your perpetrator. 

“What the fuck, McCormick?”

You grabbed his shoulder to make him look at you, but he must’ve sensed you coming because he was already staring you dead in the eye. He had one eyebrow raised, a dumb look on his face like he did nothing wrong at all.

“Hey, who the fuck are you calling McCormick?” Annoyance laced his words.

“You! You can’t just go around telling everyone we had sex! What kind of douchebag does that?”

Cartman snorted opposite you and Kenny looked at him for a brief moment before he turned his attention back on you. “Look, can we talk about this later? I-”

“No.” You interrupted him, tired of hearing his voice. Maybe he was right- everyone knows his name, everyone knows his game; everyone but you, apparently. “We didn’t sleep together. I’ve talked to you a total of two- two!- times, and you tell everyone we fucked? There’s gotta be something wrong with you in your head. Does your mom not give you enough attention?”

You could tell you struck a nerve with him, because his face got red and he clenched his fists under the table. At this point, the surrounding tables got quiet. No one was laughing now- just wide-eyed stares and confused glances from one friend to the other.

“Dude, don’t talk about his mom.” The ginger spoke up, his tone about as serious as the air in the room. Kenny didn’t even comment on his friend trying to back him- instead, he clenched his jaw to keep from saying something incredibly stupid.

“Maybe he should’ve thought about that before he spread rumours about me! Kenny-” you softened, suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion. Fuck, not now, please, you thought, damning your inner waterworks. “you let me stay at your house when my mom kicked me out. I don’t even know you, and you put me to bed so that no one else would take advantage of me when I was intoxicated! And- and now, come to find out, all you wanted to do was tell everyone you tricked another girl into giving you some pussy? What kind of fucked up person does that?”

Tears pricked at your eyes and you finally looked away from him. You sniffed, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands before anyone else could comment on them.

You were too late, though. Cartman piped up, as usual; “Fuck, no one cares, lady. So, you slept with Kenny, big deal. Don’t think you’ll get famous for it or anything. Jesus.”

You scoffed, shaking your head before muttering to Kenny, but mostly to yourself. “I thought you’d be better than this. I just- fuck, nevermind. Fuck you.”

You walked away, leaving him to do whatever he did while you had your back turned to him. You didn’t know, nor did you really care. You picked up your pack and rushed to the bathroom, locking yourself in a stall and crying as much as your body was able to. It wasn’t fair- life wasn’t fair. You knew that, but God you’d thought Kenny was a good guy. You thought maybe that deep down, he was just misunderstood. 

And your heart broke, because it was so obvious that you’d thought wrong.

[swaps55]

Arx

Someone left me a comment on a chapter of Exordium (!!!!), and revisiting it was a lot of fun, so I’m sharing some of it. 

From here. 

~

Zero gravity firefights on the Citadel were not something Garrus had even really fantasized about when working for C-Sec. Yet it was now something he could officially check off his list.

Though, ‘on’ the Citadel was now a mere technicality.

The disorienting part was not so much the distorted sense of space, the abrupt rearrangement of his internal gyroscope, but the soundless recoil of his rifle. The silent sparks erupting from a geth carapace when a slug punched through its shields and scored a critical hit. The open-mouthed roar of a charging krogan that fell upon deaf ears. Visual stimuli painted the inverted battlefield with enough visceral noise to give him a headache, but the muted calm between his ears took some getting used to. Like every turian the military had been part of his life since he turned sixteen, but small arms combat had comprised a rather small part of their all their zero G drills.

The topography of the tower’s outer hide helped a little. Rather than traveling a smooth, unbroken radius all the way to the top, they found themselves confronted by a complicated maze of control junctions, hydraulics, reams of exposed cabling and even keeper access maintenance corridors.

Garrus flashed a somewhat guilty look back at one of the squat green insectoids still tumbling out into the celestial waters behind them.

Up ahead of them, a geth dreadnaught trapped inside the station’s arms prepared to offload troops. Just to make things more fun.

Shepard honed in on a few automated defense turrets that Tali had identified along the Tower’s spine, leading them away from the elevator shaft and deeper into the maze, where they at least had some usable cover. Garrus vaguely remembered some lecture from his C-Sec training about those turrets, but he couldn’t recall a single instance in which they’d ever even been fired. And according to Tali they weren’t firing now. Someone had deactivated them.

Well, not for long. That drop ship wasn’t going anywhere unless they did something about it.

Another round of bullets refracted off his shields, its silent arrival taking nothing away from the teeth-rattling force of impact. Garrus absorbed it with a grunt, praying it wasn’t too much for the emitters to bleed off, and fired off another round of his rifle. Avoiding enemy fire was a lot harder when one wrong step would send you spinning off into space. As the keeper could attest.

At least they were better at keeping their feet on the ground than krogan, who apparently hadn’t all been nuked on Virmire. The only one happy about that development was Wrex, who ignored every single geth trying to shoot a rocket at him in favor of the tank-bred bulldozers racing along the Tower’s exterior.

Turns out that when indoctrinated krogan try to charge a Battlemaster in zero G, the Battlemaster wins. Every time.

The latest one sailed past Garrus’ head, one giant hand flailing in an effort to grab onto the part of Garrus’ helmet that covered his crest. ‘Cresting’ was a traditional krogan method of brutality, an instinct apparently so ingrained by their creator that these half-witted clones didn’t even care there was a helmet in the way. Or that they were currently floating off structure with no hope of recovery.

“Liara!” Alenko called out. “Trooper on your left!”

“I see it,” she called back, and the game the lieutenant and doctor had started playing – levitate the geth high enough for Alenko to kick it out into space – continued. They were getting really good at it.

The terrain around the defense towers consisted of raised bulkheads and sunken trenches to allow safer passage to and from. Shepard laid down cover fire on the latest round of geth while Tali and Alenko ascended the closest one, searching for a control box. The geth drop ship continued to unload some artillery of its own, which only complicated things further.

But that wasn’t what had Garrus’ attention.

The moment they had reached the defense towers, a strange silhouette crested the horizon. Its thick, massive synthetic limbs occasionally rose and fell, their impact against the structure strong enough that Garrus could feel it under his feet even if he couldn’t hear it.

It wasn’t just here. It had anchored itself to the tower itself – its giant maw clamped down on the tower’s peak while the legs maneuvered for purchase.

Spirits. It was huge.

A rocket from one of the destroyers detonated on the other side of the bulkhead Garrus and Shepard now crouched behind. Wrex bellowed – that sound at least traveled over the comm – and charged after it, wrangling the rocket launcher off its back and then firing it point blank into the geth’s chest, which erupted in a hailstorm of silent shrapnel.

“Tali, how’re those turrets coming?” Shepard barked.

“It’s a little hard to concentrate when you’re being fired on by a dropship!”

“We could try launching the angry krogan at it,” Garrus suggested.

“Don’t tempt me.” Shepard rose out of cover to fire his assault rifle. The muzzle blazed with light, the accompanying blare of sound lost out in the vacuum.

Garrus fired his sniper rifle at a destroyer, a maddening lick off the mark. Apparently he relied on the sound of its familiar crack more than he thought to find his rhythm. Here he had to adapt and find it solely through the weapon’s kick. Same beat, different lyrics.

As he reloaded the rifle the destroyer locked its aim on Tali. Garrus’ heart dropped to his feet. He swung the barrel of the gun to keep up, damn those things were fast when they charged, targeting software straining to find a new lock. “Tali, on your three!”

Shepard launched out of cover, rifle firing, pausing only long enough to lob a grenade. It detonated in a shower of sparks. The destroyer turned just as Garrus fired, shot once again glancing off its shields emitters.

“Shepard!”

The destroyer charged, barreling right into Shepard with bone shattering force. The commander spun, his grunt of pain sharp even over the comm, boots losing their grip on the tower.

Garrus fired, this time hitting his mark, slug finding its home right in the orb of the AI’s glowing face. He didn’t take time to gloat, leaping off his perch and flinging a hand out to grab Shepard’s boot.

“Fuck,” Shepard said. The moment his left foot touched down he grimaced and hopped, hissing through his teeth. “That was close.”

“You all right?”

Shepard glanced down at his hardsuit, eyes flicking back and forth as data scrolled across his HUD.

“Fine,” he said after a moment, tone clipped. He tested his weight again, one hand braced against his left hip, and grimaced. Behind them Wrex bellowed and barreled into two troopers trying to flank.

“Shepard?”

“It’s fine.” He swiveled his gaze back toward the turrets. “Got to get those things online and get rid of this dreadnaught.”

As if the turrets listened, they began powering on. Out of the corner of his eyes a bright orange flash accompanied the sudden shudder that swept under his feet. The shields of the dreadnaught glowed bright under the unexpected salvo.

One by one the other turrets came online, four in all, each one painting the geth ship’s hull. Alenko shouted something victorious over the comm. Minutes later Tali dropped in beside Garrus, shotgun back in hand.

“Nice work,” Shepard told her.

The geth ship shuddered, thrusters flashing as it tried to back away from the unexpected threat, then a blaze of light seared Garrus’ retinas as the drive core exploded, raining molten shrapnel down on their heads. Liara threw out her hands, dark energy uncoiling with an electric shimmer, creating a shield around them that deflected the debris. Garrus winced as one flaming piece of metal headed straight for his crest bounced harmlessly off the churning barrier.

“You’re a goddess, Liara,” he called out.

Shepard pushed to his feet and moved out the moment it was clear. His gait stuttered at first, but quickly became fluid and sure. “We need to find a hatch that’ll get us back into the shaft.”

“Preferably in a location that doesn’t involve playing talon touch with the giant reaper,” Garrus replied.

Wrex’s armored head appeared from behind a bulkhead a little farther up, covered in the silken slime of geth conductive fluid. Garrus expected an insult but instead the krogan roared, thundering towards him. Too late Garrus felt a violent strike against his back, followed by the sickening sensation of his feet losing their grip on the ground.

Oh no.

A hand snagged his leg spar, yanking him back down. His boots clamped back down on the deck with a thud. He gasped, then found himself face to face with Wrex’s helmet.

“You missed one,” the krogan growled, gesturing to a downed destroyer now sparking at Wrex’s feet.

“Thanks,” Garrus managed.

“Shepard!” Alenko hollered. “I think I have a way in!”

The commander paused just long enough to catch Garrus’ eye through his faceplate, nodding in satisfaction. “Stick around, Garrus. Things are about to get interesting.”

Garrus risked one last glance up into the incandescent light of the Ward arms, resolutely blocking out the cold curtain of space that lurked outside. A breathtaking view he never wanted to see again.

Yeah. Things were about to get interesting.

[pretty-setter-bois]

elephant in the banquet hall

request; please do a continuation of this!! i love it!! 😭

summary; the long-awaited prequel to elephant in the room — how a small interaction in hong kong led to an awkward tension, which might even lead to something more.

word count; 3343™

warnings; none, just a bit suggestive, an almost-car accident.

sequel

     “I’M BACK NOW.” haru announces, subconsciously tugging at his collar. 

“welcome back.” kamei greets, barely looking up from his screen.

“welcome back! how was hong kong? you ate a lot of yummy food, right?” saeki interrogates. 

he pauses for a second, blushing a little. “n-not so much...” he hands over a bag of mooncakes. “here's a gift for you guys.”

“wow! these mooncakes look so tasty! let's all have some!” saeki beams, taking them out of the bag. “huh? it's already open.

“sorry, i ate one as my share.” he apologizes, his tone anything but.

“you're so greedy. you ate a ton of delicious food, and on top of that you snacked on our gift?” kamei looks up to glare at him.

“i'm telling you, i didn't get to eat any good food.” haru sighs.

“but wasn't there a party at some fancy hotel after the symposium?”

“yeah, there was a party, but...”

     KATO WALKS UP to you and daisuke, a plate in his hands. “i'm starving... i finally managed to get two slices of the roast beef... i usually don't get to eat expensive cuts like this.” he eyes his food, earning a small chuckle from you as you eye your own plate. “huh? aren't you going to eat?” he turns to daisuke.

“no.” daisuke deadpans.

“what's wrong with you? here, i'll give you a slice. i waited in line for 10 minutes for this, so eat it with care.” he puts a piece on daisuke’s plate.

the black-haired man is reluctant, but takes a bite nonetheless. he immediately places his fork down, patting his mouth down with a napkin.

“this is so tough it's inedible. the quality of the meat is bad, and it's overcooked.” he begins to complain.

“what? stop complaining and eat.” haru furrows his eyebrows, something he did a lot around the millionaire. “someday, you're going to get what you deserve.”

“i'm heading over to a different restaurant now. do you want to come?” he asks, standing up.

“i’m fine, thank you.” you smile.

“this is plenty good for me, see you later.” haru says, cutting his food.

he walks off, leaving you and haru alone.

“sheesh, he's such a jerk... how do you raise someone to be such a picky eater?” haru rambles, and you laugh again.

“don’t get mad at him. why didn’t you go with him, anyway?” you ask.

he turns his head towards you, taking in your appearance. you look stunning — not that you usually don’t — and he forgets that you’ve asked him a question.

“kato?” you ask again.

“oh, uh, i didn’t want this food to go to waste.”

i want to stay with you.

you finish your food, drying your hands on the warm towels the banquet had gifted you with and popping the peppermints they gave you in your mouth. you excuse yourself to the bathroom.

on the other hand, haru is stopped by a man on his way out. “hello? are you from japan?”

“huh? oh...” kato switches languages. “i'm japanese.”

“i would like to ask about the police box system in japan.” the man states.

“in japan...?” haru tilts his head, confused.

"yes, about the police box system.”

"s-sorry...” the taupe-haired man apologizes, unable to comprehend ‘police box system’.

he hears a voice behind him, turning his head to find you.

“oh, the police box system?” you answer in flawless english. “it’s a box-like phone-station, created so that we’re able to reach the police at anytime.”

“ah, really?” answers the man. “i’m from the united states, here’s my card.” he hands you a card. “i’m here on business to research ways to better the police system in america.” (as he should).

“any more questions?” you ask, looking down at his card.

“oh, no. i just wanted to get a vague idea of what they did. thank you.” he grins, and you could’ve sworn he winked, “don’t worry, the number is international.”

“alright, goodbye.” you wave with a smile.

“actually, i do have one question-” the man begins.

“sorry, we have to go.” haru tries to get to the point with the little english he knew.

the man nods warily, leaving to find someone else to speak to. “see you around.”

haru turns around to you, his face solemn. “come on, we have to go.”

     “SO THAT’S WHY i didn't get a chance to eat.” haru explains, leaving out the last part.

“i can see why that happened. after all, it was an after party for an international symposium.” saeki nods.

“my english score was like 70 points out of 200 back when i took the national center test for university admissions.” he continues.

“how were you able to even join the metropolitan police department?” kamei squints. “anyways, you're like the most japanese person i know. you’re lucky (L/N) was there to save you.”

“oh yeah!” saeki says. “where is (L/N)-chan anyways?”

“ah...” haru’s mind trails to last night, and he shakes his head. “she called in sick today, said she caught a cold out of nowhere.”

“hm, strange...” kamei places his chin in his hand. “(L/N) usually doesn’t call in sick, even if she does have a cold.”

“maybe she’d really sick, we shouldn’t bother her.” haru tries to redirect the conversation.

“what could get (L/N)-san so sick to the point where she’d have to call in sick?” saeki ponders, and haru coughs to avoid gulping.

“so, did you end up missing your chance to eat?” kamei finally changes the topic.

“no, i didn't have a choice, so i tagged along with kambe to go eat.” haru exhales a sigh of relief.

“oh, so you were able to eat something delicious after all.” kamei nods.

“actually, that’s not really the case...”

“wait, i'm not sure if i understand. you got to eat, or you didn't?”

“i guess you can say i ate something...” he thinks of the mooncake, then trailing off to the thought of you. he lightly shakes his head again.

"the fact that you went to eat with kambe means that you went to a super high-end restaurant, right? how much was it? how was the meal?”

“500,000 yen.”

“you're kidding me!” saeki exclaims. “500,000?! that's way more than my monthly salary!”

“it's more than my salary, too. but... expensive doesn't necessarily mean good...” haru rubs the back of his neck.

     THE THREE OF you arrive at a high-end restaurant, one which daisuke seems to be familiar with. you and haru awe at the place, thinking of how expensive it must be.

"what's up with this place... it's so extravagant... but it's empty.” haru notes.

“i reserved the entire restaurant. i eat here often when i'm in hong kong.” daisuke explains.

“i see...” haru nods.

"menu, please.” the waiter greats in cantonese.

although you were better than haru at english, you were considerably clueless when it came to cantonese. he seems to pick up on this.

"thank you.” he thanks the waiter.

he turns to you, giving a brief explanation of the items on the menu and letting you pick.

“i'm starving... i missed out on that roast beef, so i'm craving meat...” he mutters.

“and i missed out on my desert because of you.” you tease jokingly, receiving a sheepish smile from the taupe-haired man.

“there's so many different kinds... meat... meat... meat... here it is. this must be where the meat section starts... let's see... 'pear, piece, with, steam, fruit, small, raccoon dog'... what is this?” he reads the menu aloud to you.

"pear slices with steamed civet.” daisuke answers.

“i can accept the pears... but civets? aren't they similar to raccoon dogs?”

"raccoon dogs are canines, civets are part of the viverridae family. they are completely different species.”

"you're missing the point.” haru says. “fine, i'll pick something else... have you decided, (L/N)?”

“no... i’ve never heard of these food before.” you admit.

"what's this? 'steamed, camel, peak'...” haru reads.

"that's steamed camel hump.” daisuke says.

"pass. let's see... 'boar, brain, temporary, leopard, fetus...”

"that one? you might think that it's stewed leopard fetus, but it's actually pig brains...”

“what the hell do these rich people eat...” you mutter.

"hey! isn't there any normal food here?!” haru yells, seeming to have read your thoughts.

"you sure complain a lot.” daisuke says nonchalantly.

“i'm not complaining! i just want to eat some normal chinese food!”

"this is normal chinese food for me. what do you mean by normal?”

"that would be...” he pauses to think. “for instance, fried rice, potstickers, or congee, you know? like stuff they sell at street food stalls. you don't have to be eating civets or camel humps to have good food!”

daisuke pauses. “a street food stall... i've never been to one...”

“then let's get some street food. the food stalls are cheap and rowdy, and you can always get a taste of the local culture.” haru looks around the restaurant. “what about you, (L/N)?”

“only if you pick what i eat.” you chuckle, earning an eager grin.

“HEUSC, find the best food stall we can get to in one hour.” daisuke presses on his earring.

"understood. balance: unlimited.” HEUSC answers.

the sounds of a helicopter approaching can be heard, waiting for the three detectives to get in. 

“so, where are we?” haru asks.

"a food stall.” deadpans daisuke.

"i know that! you just shoved us on to a chopper and took us to an unknown place, so i'm asking you where the hell we are!”

“this is macau. according to HEUSC, the best food stall within an hour's travel was this one located in sam chan dang, macau-”

"so we came to hong kong for nothing!”

"you sure complain a lot.”

haru sighs, cradling his head in his hands. “why can't we just have an ordinary meal...”

you pat his back reassuringly, a bit excited to see what daisuke has in store for the three of you.

“here you go. sorry to make you wait.” the man says in cantonese, serving you your food.

“well... it does look really tasty...” haru admits.

“yeah.” daisuke nods.

"well, we might as well dig in. i'm absolutely starving.” haru picks up his chopsticks.

“hold on!” daisuke interrupts.

“what now?”

“HEUSC mentioned the possibility of a food safety issue at this stall.”

“don't worry about details like that. this is a food stall, so not everything's gonna be perfect-”

"i can't allow that. HEUSC checked the surrounding radius of 10 meters, and found 7 rats and 48 cockroaches-”

"hey! i just lost my appetite!”

“can we go home?” you ask, already tired.

“oh no...” daisuke says, disregarding what you said.

"hey... what is it this time?” haru sighs.

"we're going back to hong kong.” he states

"huh? why?” you ask.

"the store that i was planning to buy souvenirs at closes in 30 minutes.” daisuke says.

"souvenirs? just buy something from a store that's open!” haru states.

"i can't do that.”

“actually, kambe, me and kato won’t bother you. we’ll look for a food stand, and you get your souvenirs. we’ll tell you when find one.”

haru’s a bit surprised by your words, but would rather spend time with you than hopping restaurants with daisuke.

daisuke nods, waving goodbye and hopping in his helicopter. you wave back, deciding to begin your search for a place to eat, haru close behind, of course.

“look! that place looks good!” you point, light on your feet.

you’re so excited that you don’t notice the truck driving on the road until the horn is almost by your ear.

haru grabs you back by the arm, holding you close as your mind tries to register what happened.

“i’m not letting you out of my sight.” he says, just loud enough for you to hear, bur firm.

you nod, quiet. what if haru hadn’t been there? what would’ve happened then?

a soft squeeze to the hand he’s been holding is all you need for reassurance. you wonder when he began to hold it.

he leads the two of you across to the restaurant that you saw, and you reread the sign.

“motel.” you squint. you take a quick glance of the stores open around you, and this one seems to be the only one. “i think everything else is closed. let’s check if they have food.”

the bell by the door jingles at your entrance, and the secretary at the desk turns to face you.

“hello, we were wondering if there was anywhere we could eat?” you ask.

“the buffet is open for about an hour, but only for the people who have rooms registered.” she answers.

you nod, and watch haru look down at his phone.

“kambe isn’t gonna be here for a while.” he informs you.

“we’ll get a room.” you nod.

she turns around to get the paperwork ready, and haru’s eyes widen.

“what do you mean? we have to leave tomorrow!” he whispers.

“don’t worry,” you assure him. “we’ll sign out early in the morning.”

the secretary turns around and hands you a piece of paper to fill out, to which you finish quickly and hand back to her.

“here’s your bill.” she states.

you’re relieved that it isn’t expensive, as you haven’t brought much money with you in the first place.

“um, excuse me?” you call.

“yeah?” she answers.

“this says single, we asked for a double.” you point to the paper.

haru has to gulp to avoid showing his embarrassment.

“sorry, but we only have one-bed rooms available.” she explains. “it doesn’t seem to be a problem between the two of you, though.”

your faces get red, and you quickly pay. the two of you awkwardly scurry off to the buffet, which you have previously been told is free.

you eat your meals in silence, ‘itadkimasu’ and occasional questions with one-word answers asked, but nothing else.

a ringing phone is what finally snaps the two of you out of it, and you look up to see that it’s haru’s.

“huh?! what do you mean you followed him home?! you don’t have enough space for us?! another flight?!” haru almost yells into his phone, before the other line beeps. “ugh.”

“what happened?” you ask.

“ah...” he nervously rubs at his neck. “daisuke bought too many souvenirs, and there was no place for us to fit.”

“the flight is supposed to be...” you look down at your watch. “right now!”

“yeah, he got us another.”

“when?”

“tomorrow...”

you nod, realizing that you would actually need to stay at the motel.

“it’s a good thing we made early reservations then...”

“yeah...”

     THE TWO OF you enter the reserved room, deciding to might as well get comfortable.

“hey, kato?” you ask. “i’m going to shower, can you look for a futon or something like that?”

he nods, leaving you to the bathroom and him to his thoughts.

the bathroom didn’t have any shampoo or conditioner, just a soap dispenser that serves as a reminder as to why you don’t like hotels.

you dry yourself off, placing on your previous clothes and cursing your past self for wearing something to uncomfortable.

you step out of the bathroom, a towel around your neck as you dry your hair. he notices you and instantly gets up, looking at you in worry.

“i... couldn’t find a futon...”

“it’s fine.” you sigh, placing the towel on a rack. “we’re adults, right?”

he nods, trying to make his gulp unnoticeable.

both your shoes had been placed by the door, and your jacket hung by his on a chair. his tie was on the bedside table, and only then had you noticed that the first few buttons of his shirt were open.

your backs were against each other, trying to get comfortable on the bed with a small pillow in-between you as a divider.

“hey, kato?” you call out. “sorry for getting you into this mess. we could’ve stuck with daisuke instead, but...”

“it’s fine.” he answers. “though, i don’t think i’ll be able to get any sleep tonight.”

“me either.”

the two of you turn to face each other, moving the pillow out of the way. you haven’t noticed the close proximity between you until his hot breath meets yours.

until you look at how his eyes darken, how good his hair looks messy, and confirm that his top buttons are indeed open.

it starts with a small kiss, really. are his lips as soft as they look? that’s all you want to confirm, and confirm you do.

you don’t remember how his shirt ends up on the floor, or how your dress is unzipped. what you do remember, is that it is the best night’s sleep you’ve gotten in a long time.

     YOU WOKE UP the next morning with a headache and a few hours of sleep, his phone buzzing on the table beside you.

he reaches to grab it, answering the call with a deep tone. “yeah, we’ll be there.” the call ends soon after. “it’s time to go.”

“i want to sleep.” you mumble.

“you can sleep on the plane.” he helps you up. “come on.”

the two of you get ready for your flight back to japan, and sign out at the front desk of the motel. you make sure to zip up your jacket all the way.

you arrive at the airport, and shortly board the plane after. you try to fall asleep, but the turbulence and noise make it hard to do so.

your headache has gotten worse, and you make a mental note to never shower before bed again.

daisuke greets you both in japan, dropping you off at haru’s home after one look at your condition. you’re far too tired to argue, and head to bed the moment you make it there.

   “THE FACT THAT we have mooncakes here means that he really made the chef make some...” saeki notes.

"yeah, he got ahold of the chef just as he got home. apparently, he made the chef return to the shop immediately to make some mooncakes right in front of his eyes.” haru explains.

“what do you mean? weren’t you there?” kamei asks.

“ah, i went to grab... dinner with (L/N).” haru sweats.

“that must have annoyed the chef,” kamei thinks. “bringing him back to the restaurant to cook, i mean.”

"but actually... you can't quite say that.”

"why? no matter how you look at it, what he did was out of line.”

“kambe bought the mooncakes for 5 million yen per box.”

"how many boxes did he buy?” saeki questions.

"this one, and the one box for his grandmother.” kato sighs.

“in other words, 10 million yen for two boxes of mooncakes... let's see, so there's 10 pieces in each box. so each piece is 500,000 yen...” kamei concludes.

"oh! so that means your dinner last night was...” saeki thinks.

"besides the food i ate with (L/N), it was this mooncake. i ate one on the flight back.” haru stands up. “i have to get her her mooncake, i was just stopping by to make sure everyone had one.”

“give her our best wishes!” waves saeki.

haru nods, wrapping your mooncake in a cloth and leaving the building. he is tired, but the fatigue he was feeling was nothing compared to yours.

he remembers that daisuke had dropped you off at his home, since neither knew your address and the black-haired man needed to get to work.

he opens the door to his apartment, hanging his jacket by the door and placing the mooncake on the table. he brings it to your sleeping form with a few headache tablets and a glass of water, leaving it on the bedside table.

he grabs a few of his clothes and heads in the the shower, drying off and deciding to take a short nap on the couch afterwards.

he falls asleep shortly, forgetting about the elephant in the room which waited to greet the two of you once you’ve woken up.

NOTES ♕❣⁂ღ

long awaited part two! i thought a prequel would be the best way to write a second part, and they can be read in any order :)

this story also takes place betweem episode two and episode four, during the flight to hong kong.

[thetypedwriter]

Wilder Girls Book Review by Rory Power

Wilder Girls Book Review by Rory Power

I didn’t know this until the end of the book, but apparently Wilder Girls is supposed to be a female version or retelling of Lord of the Flies. 

Now I’ve read the Lord of the Flies probably three times now and there was nothing other than the survival element on an island that makes me think the two novels are even related. 

Wilder Girls by Rory Power is about a group of girls stuck on an island after their boarding school, Raxter Academy, befalls a horrific evolution known as the Tox. 

After killing most of the adults on the island, the Tox continues to contaminate the girls, the wildlife, and the entirety of the environment on the island, making living creatures go feral, violent, and rotting-especially the girls. 

The book adopts an almost in medias res approach-or, known as in the middle of things -where we are not shown any of this happening. 

Instead it has been years since the Tox first took its toll, the survivors are diminishing day by day, the girls remaining are starving, infected by the Tox in some terribly grotesque way, and desperate for a cure. 

I genuinely think I would have liked this novel better if it had taken a Lord of the Flies approach and showed us from the beginning how the Tox descended, the madness and chaos it caused, and then the destructive aftermath that followed. 

But no, instead we are told all of this trauma and are expected to feel bad and sympathetic towards these angry characters whom we haven’t bonded with or seen experience any of these atrocities firsthand, but I’ll get more into that later. 

After taking way too long to introduce you to the island, the Tox disease, and how the girls operate on it, the plot slowly starts to trudge along when arguably the main character, Hetty, is chosen as a Boat Girl in lieu of her best friend and crush, Reese. 

The position of Boat Girl now awards Hetty the opportunity to leave the safety net of the school and its forbidden gates and travel with the other Boat Girls and one of the only adults on the island named Welch in order to receive supplies from the Navy that sends food periodically to the island. 

After her first trip however, Hetty learns that not all is what it seems on the island and that more than one person has secrets they’re keeping.

 Dark and deadly secrets. 

What unfolds is a bewildering tale of Hetty’s best friend Byatt being taken in by the Tox and stolen away, a rescue mission undertaken by Hetty and Reese in order to get her back, the unraveling of the island, snippets of Byatt’s POV as she’s being experimented on in order to find the cure, and a anticlimactic ending that left me bereft of any kind of satisfaction or contentment. 

This book was...trying too hard to be something that nobody asked for. 

A female retelling or re-imagining of Lord of the Flies is an interesting concept and I would be extremely curious to see the social and emotional differences it would have made having an entire female cast versus an entire male cast, but that is not what this book is. 

Other than being on an island and trying to survive, almost every element of the book is different. Lord of the Flies deals with concepts like the loss of innocence, nature versus civilization, and the inherent evil budding within each human being when driven to the extreme. 

You could argue that Wilder Girls has loss of innocence maybe, but the themes stop there. First off, there are adults in this novel and the girls cater to them accordingly. I never once forgot that Hetty, Byatt and Reese were teenagers. They read like teenagers. They act like teenagers. 

A third of the way through Lord of the Flies and you forget entirely that most of the characters are under aged 12 versus the sixteen and seventeen years old of Wilder Girls. 

The survival elements differ as well. In Lord of the Flies they have to learn to cooperate and survive on the island by hunting, gathering, and creating a social hierarchy. 

In Wilder Girls, the hierarchy is already in place with the headmistress of the school and they are given supplies (most of which is destroyed or dumped out by the way). 

I couldn’t actually believe that the book was telling me that these girls survive off a piece of jerky and the battery acid flavor of old soup and still living? And walking? And going to shooting practice?

The actual conditions these girls lived in was preposterous more than it was sad and I spent half the book with my head cocked trying to reason if people could even survive under such circumstances (I don’t think so, not for this long of a time). 

The comparisons just don’t cut it for me. 

To me, this book came across way too much as Rory Power trying to be symbolic, deep, and riveting and instead I was confused, bored, and unsympathetic. 

I cried at the end of Lord of the Flies. 

At the end of Wilder Girls, I flipped the page and was astounded to find that the book had ended. It didn’t even read like an ending. I thought it was just another chapter. 

It was so abortive and feckless that I genuinely thought pages were missing only to discover the acknowledgments part of the book came next, followed by a deleted chapter I didn’t give a crap about, and then discussion questions. 

Now, I don’t know who actually decides if a book gets discussion questions, it could be the publisher, the editor, the author, I have no idea. But I found the idea of giving this book discussion questions before it earned its merit was so pretentious it made me dislike it even more. 

This whole book just missed the mark for me. 

Power does have some good writing, but she tries too hard in my very subjective opinion. A lot of the writing was wordy and theatrical and I would get bored with all the waxing and waning of the characters and descriptions. 

The experimental writing bits with Byatt were downright miserable for me. I ended up skimming most of them. They were half-worded, half-formed, barely coherent thoughts and phrases and I understand that that was the point, but instead of intriguing or symbolic I found it irritating and a waste of time. 

I know I’ve been incredibly harsh on this book review and I’m sure there are many of you that would disagree with me seeing as this book was a New York Times Bestseller, but there was nothing in this book that landed for me personally. 

The characters were...semi-interesting but I felt like they didn’t get the development or proper exploration I needed to actually like them because the setting and the situations were so dire and ridiculous that it constantly robbed them of any kind of empathetic or human moment. 

I do really enjoy the idea of having an almost entire female centric novel but there are other books out there that accomplish that and a female/female romance much better in my opinion (Girls of Paper and Fire for instance). 

In the end, it’s safe to say that I didn’t enjoy this novel very much. I would have liked to see these characters before the Tox, to see their downfall, their pandemonium, their change and growth and regression as characters due to their world ending as they knew it. 

Then, when the Tox does come and the world goes upside down, the feelings and relationships of the characters would have much more meaning than being told what had happened and expected to care like I was and couldn’t bring myself to, even at the end. 

Recommendation: Read Lord of the Flies instead. 

Score: 4/10

[jonathanvik]

Starlight Dream - Chapter 8

“Yes, suffer more!” A girl hiding behind a pillar said, watching her evil plan coming into motion. Emiyo watched from the sidelines expectantly, curious.

Emiyo waited and waited, but still, nobody screamed or howled in pain. She scanned around the packed food court and saw people going about their usual daily lives, laughing and having fun. Everything seemed normal, making Emiyo furrow her brow in confusion.

“Yes! Their suffering is so perfect!” The girl said again, her fairy partner smirking in satisfaction. The girl was a tiny thing, standing shorter than most pre-teen-aged girls. Her hair was bright pink, cut into a quick bob.

“Am I missing something?” Emiyo intensified her search, but found nothing but an average day at the mall.

“I don’t see anyone dead or unconscious.” Nyx flew around, searching for anything out of the ordinary. “It must be so subtle it’s invisible!”

“What, come on!” An annoyed teenage boy with pimples said behind a counter at a burger place. “I just filled that!”

“Hey, what gives? Where’s the ketchup? I’m in a hurry!” A customer said. “My movie starts in ten minutes!”

The boy winced. “Sorry, sir. I’ll get some right away.”

“Victory!” The girl said, her fist pumping upwards.

“Victory in what, exactly?” Emiyo asked behind the girl, who yelped in surprise.

“Emiyo, uh, hi! You aren’t usually out in the field.” Himari said, wearing a nervous grin on her face.

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you!” Liam, her partner, gave a reassuring smile.

“You never answered my question.”

“You know, magical girl stuff!” Himari said. “Causing all the suffering I can.”

Emiyo gestured to the calm food court, her patience thin. “What suffering?”

“Lots of it! We stole all that store’s condiments.” Liam replied. “Remember how annoyed that man was? He might miss the beginning of his movie! Now that employee needs to refill the condiment stand! What a bother, right?”

Himari gave an emphatic nod. “Right! And that worker got yelled at! No one likes that!”

Emiyo fought the urge to rub her temple, feeling a headache coming on. “This is your idea of suffering? Really?! Suffering is having your body crushed and living in never-ending agony. Suffering is losing everyone you’ve ever loved and having nothing to live for. Suffering is living in a nuclear wasteland!”

“That boy seemed pretty miserable to me,” Himari muttered under her breath.

Himari coughed, regaining her confidence. “I think you’re a little confused. I’m actually playing the long game!”

Despite herself, this piqued Emiyo’s interest. Perhaps she’d misjudged the girl?

“Yeah, nuclear wastelands are great and all, but it’s tacky and too easy.” Himari puffed out her chest. “I’m destroying worlds with a thousand cuts!”

“Sorry, what?”

“It’s simple. I’m causing countless small instances of suffering so they’ll build into something greater and more explosive. People will bottle up their frustration until they burst and cause untold havoc!”

Emiyo’s eye twitched. “This is your brilliant plan, really?”

“Totally evil, right?” The girl and her partner gave an emphatic nod.

In her head, Emiyo’s headache intensified. “No wonder the suffering levels in your universes have only increased by .00000000001 percent.”

“I’m playing the long game.”

“For two hundred years?!”

“The very long game.”

You incompetent little! Emiyo wanted to throttle the girl but kept professional calm. An outburst would be unseemly. “If this is the caliber of sector 8’s magical girls, no wonder the suffering levels haven’t increased much.”

Of sector 8’s magical girls, Himari is one of the few remaining who still lived. Emiyo had found the others dead, killed by the rebel. Why didn’t she save Emiyo the trouble and kill Himari too? It’d be so easy!

“Look, I’m currently assessing the entirety of Sector 8. When I get back, your universes’ suffering better increase by at least twenty percent!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll just accelerate my plans somewhat.” Himari pulled out a small vial, smirking. “I plan to put this into the water supply!”

Hope sparked in Emiyo’s heart. Poisoning water was an excellent way to spread fear and panic!

“It makes the water taste funny. Not horrible, but still unpleasant.” Himari said. “It will force people to buy bottled water instead! What a needless expense, right?”

Emiyo put her face into her hands and screamed.

---

Takako howled in pain as her opponent tossed her onto the padded mat.

“Are you okay?” Seina asked, concerned.

“No, it’s fine.” She said, rubbing her bruised arm. Even without her magical girl powers, Seina hit like a truck. Takako returned to her feet, determined to go again. Her pride refused to leave until she’d scored several points against her rival.

“Darn it.” Takako cursed as her back struck the padded floor once again. “I’m much quicker than you. Yet, you keep beating me!” Somehow, the girl seemed more like a wall than a person, deflecting back everything Takako threw against her.

“That’s because you aren’t sticking with what I’ve been teaching you.” Mr. Kiyojiro said. “You always go for the dirty move rather than the practical one.”

“But it’s totally predictable and lame!” Takako waved a dismissive hand. “Not my style at all.”

Seina smiled. “I suppose, but you always leave yourself wide open. You aren’t working on your defense enough.”

Takako turned away. “Whatever. My genius is too brilliant for you to understand.”

Seina sighed, but a slight smile appeared on her lips. “Okay, Maeko. Fine. Want to go again?”

“Always, best out five?”

Despite her best efforts, Seina still won most exchanges, moving with lighting precision. Yet, Takako didn’t mind it. Instead, it only pushed her to work harder. She hadn’t been this excited in decades. Usually, she found her magical girl duties dull, but she enjoyed the challenge Seina presented. The fighting made her feel alive. It’d be a shame when Seina inevitably died in days ahead, but Takako would enjoy her company until then. They chatted as they walked across town, enjoying the scenery. People were working hard to rebuild, invigorated with a new purpose after the vampire’s fall. Despite herself, their grit and determination impressed Takako.

“Is that the new school?” Aiko looked down towards the skeleton of a building from their vantage point.

Seina flinched. “Yes, Lotus High School.”

“No way! The Prime Minister named a school after you?” Aiko beamed with pride.

“Yeah,” Seina replied, with little enthusiasm. “They wanted to call it Kamiyama High School, but I vetoed that idea. And the statue.”

Aiko rolled her eyes. “Please, you deserve some recognition! You saved the world!”

“I guess.” Seina said, still unhappy. Uncle Kenji is adamant I should attend it once it’s finished. Isn’t that the worst, going to a school named after you?”

“Don’t worry, I'll be by your side if anyone bugs you about it.” Aiko puffed out her chest. “Never thought I’d ever attend high school. I’m so looking forward to it. Do you think it’ll be anything like those mangas Maeko likes?”

“I hope so,” Seina said. “Clubs, romance, lunch on the roof, meeting with friends every day. It sounds nice.”

Takako rolled her eyes. The dullest, most ordinary things always infatuated Aiko and Seina. What next? Wanting to attend cram school too? Even thinking about it gave Takako bad memories.

“How about you, Maeko?” Aiko said. “What are you looking forward to in high school?” The two girls looked at her expectantly.

Shows what you know. I’m too old to care about things like high school! She paused, realizing, despite being several hundred years old, she’d never attended high school. Soon, both Seina and Aiko would have a much higher education level than her. Takako had run away from home long before high school age. Not that she cared, of course. Takako was smart enough without it.

“Eh, seems boring if you ask me,” Takako said, not impressed..

“How can you say that after the vampires basically starved us of any education?” Seina said, irritated. “I had to learn basic reading and math in secret! Uncle Kenji had to risk his life to teach me how to add!”

Takako took a step back, surprised by the usually meek girl’s angry outburst. “Okay, okay. Sorry,”

“I’m sorry too.” Seina said.” I lost my temper. It just frustrates me what basic things the vampires denied us. We were just things to them, not even people!”

“I know what you mean,” Aiko said, nodding. “But the vampires can’t stop us now! Humanity can’t be stopped!”

“Right! Oh, I can’t wait for high school to start!” Seina said dreamily. “Mr. Kiyojiro’s tutoring is great, but I want to learn from a real teacher! Uh, no offense, Mr. Kiyojiro.”

“I’m not offended.” Mr. Kiyojiro said, finally joining the conversation. “Teaching from random textbooks is awkward.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not a great teacher.”

“Oh, I don’t mind. Any chance to learn!” Seina replied, trying to reassure her bodyguard and tutor. “You’re doing an excellent job teaching me Japanese. It’s my favorite subject. And I’m not too shabby at English either.”

“Private tutor, you’re lucky. I just wish I could understand half of my lessons.” Aiko rolled her eyes. “Ms. Inouye still hasn’t created a coherent study plan yet.”

“Hey, the adults are working hard to teach you youngsters.” Mr. Kiyojiro said. “A few kinks in the plan aren’t unexpected. You’ve already lost too many years. How can you become proper adults without the proper education?”

“No argument here.” Aiko said, and Seina nodded.

“Sure, but being a proper adult means getting a job and paying taxes and rent.” Takako said, piping in.

Mr. Kiyojiro coughed into his fist. “Well, yes. But, that’s part of growing up. You can’t stay a child forever.”

“Except, Seina will stay a child forever,” Takako said, pointing out the flaw in the bodyguard’s logic.

“Not in my heart. I can get a job anyway!” Seina said, retorting the point.

“You actually want a job?” Takako asked in disbelief. It sounded like such a needless bother. “You’re a magical girl! There’s nothing stopping you from doing whatever you want.”

“Yes, actually,” Seina replied, puffing out her chest. “I’ll still be an adult, even if I appear ten!”

Colten’s eyes lit in awe. “You’re so responsible, Seina!”

Takako snorted. “Stupid if you ask me.”

“Trust me, Maeko,” Seina said. “Being a magical girl isn’t as appealing as it sounds.”

“Whatever. Well, I better get going.” After all that hard training, Takako wanted to gorge herself on shaved ice and watch some anime.

“Later!” Seina and Aiko waved as she left.

“You’re too comfortable with those two,” Lilha said from an alleyway. “You’d almost think you’d become friends.”

“Friends? Not likely.” Takako was too evil and hardhearted for such nonsense.

“Good,” Lilha replied. “Come. There are matters we need to discuss. It won’t be long until we’re ready.”

“You’re acting already? I’ve barely learned anything. Mr. Kiyojirois still teaching us the basics!”

Lilha raised an eyebrow. “Are we meant to wait years while you play with Seina?”

“We are both immortal.” For someone who was ageless, Lilha certainly was impatient. “Is it that important for you to return to your nightmare world?”

“We are vampires. We rule.”

“Okay, but why ban schools? Why make children work 70-hour weeks?” Takako couldn’t resist asking these questions any further.

“The humans needed to know their place. My husband was always adamant about grinding them down as much as possible.”

“Why? Aren’t these policies more likely to cause humanity’s extinction?”

“It wouldn’t get that far. We’d keep them alive. They are our pets.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Why?”

“You’re a magical girl. It’s your job to make people suffer.” Lilha gave her a pointed look, making Takako hesitate. It was true. Why was she caring about this?

“Well?”

“Have you lost your nerve? Don’t you hate Siena as deeply as I do? I’ve seen how she humiliates you. Are you happy always being her inferior?”

Takako stood straighter. “I’m the strongest. Always will be. We will kill Seina.”

“Good. I see no further use in having you train with Seina. You’ve learned enough. I fear you’re getting too cozy with her. It’s time we enact our plan.” Lilha shone with excitement. “By tomorrow, Seina Kamiyama will be dead!”

Takako nodded, realizing her doubts were foolish. This was what they’d agreed upon. She glanced back, watching Seina talking and laughing with her friends without a care in the world. It left a strange bitterness in Takako’s heart. But no, for the sake of the magical girls and Starlight Dream, Seina’s death was necessary. After giving the girl a final look, Takako focused on the task at hand. No more useless doubts or distractions.

---

“A day out? Sounds great!” Seina said. Mr. Kiyojiro had given them the day off, and they were debating how to best spend it.

Aiko beamed. “I know this cute little place that’s becoming really popular. It’s super trendy!”

“Clothes shopping?” Colten sighed from his perch on Seina’s head. “Okay.”

Seina patted her fairy friend on the head. “It won’t be long, then we’ll get some ice cream.”

Colten perked up. “Really?”

Aiko snorted in amusement. “You spoil him too much. Yes, I promise it’ll be quick. I haven’t forgotten you, Colten. I have some activities planned for you too. There’s this street performer I heard about that might interest you. He does Kamishibai.”

Colten’s eyes lit in excitement. It also piqued Seina’s interest. Since DVD players and working TVs were still rare, the art form had reemerged on Osaka’s streets to entertain people. Though because of her training, she hadn’t caught one yet. The art form used still pictures accompanied by the performer, who narrates the story. Her fairy partner bounced on her head, unable to contain his excitement, making Seina giggle.

“Kamishibai?” Maeko said, showing genuine interest. “I haven’t seen one of those in forever.” Mr. Kiyojiro nodded in agreement, also genuinely interested.

Seina blinked. “Really? How?” The vampires were strict about punishing anyone who dared defy their edicts. Even singing could get you killed. Maeko’s past was so bizarre. Did her taskmaster even do his job?

Maeko coughed into her fist. “When I was really young. You know, before the vampires.”

Seina nodded, embarrassed by her misunderstanding. Unfortunately, most of her memories before the darkness were scarce and blurry. Worse, they consisted of people she’d rather not consider. Their presence tainted her childhood worse than anything the vampires had done. It sent blazing furious hatred through her and almost brought tears to her eyes. Why had her parents’ betrayal hurt her so much? Despite trying to forget them, thoughts of them returned at random moments, hurting her all over again. Sensing his partner’s distress, Colten rubbed her back, calming her.

“Are you okay?” Maeko said, worried by Seina’s sudden change in mood.

“It’s fine.” Her parents didn’t matter anymore. Besides, she had a new family and they wouldn’t hurt her as they had.

“There’s this ramen stand that recently opened up. I’d like to try. Would you mind having lunch there?” Mr. Kiyojiro said.

“Sounds great. Is there anywhere else you’d like to go?” Seina felt guilty for dragging her bodyguard around town without his input. Was he as bored by girls shopping as Colten was? But Mr. Kiyojiro only waved his hand, indicating his wishes didn’t matter. After some consideration, Seina decided she’d at least allow him to pick where they’d eat supper too.

“I have a suggestion.” Maeko had been quiet throughout the entire conversation, drawing everyone’s attention. “Before going anywhere else, there’s this manga shop nearby I’d like to try. I heard it sells brand new manga. I’m curious if the rumors are true.”

“Sounds fun.” Aiko replied. “It will give Colten something to read while he’s waiting!”

Brand new manga? That sounded interesting. It brought a smile to Seina’s heart. Little by little, humanity was reclaiming their lives. The vampire’s reign was becoming a distant memory.

“Is this the right place?” Aiko glanced around, eying their surroundings with curiosity. They’d entered a part of Osaka that still remained mostly abandoned. The streets were empty, but Seina couldn’t help but feel she was being watched. Yet, when she looked, she spotted no one around. Odd.

“Just down this alley, and we’ll be there,” Maeko said, pointing towards a colorful sign that showed the shop’s name, Shinobu Manga Emporium. Seina peeked down the alley and saw an open door, seeing shelves of colorful manga ready for purchase.

A sense of wrongness overcame Seina, and she stopped her step. The feeling of being watched intensified, but she still couldn’t locate its source. Aiko picked on her anxiety.

“Is something the matter?” Aiko glaced around, a worried expression on her face.

Maeko snorted. “Nothing’s the matter. It’s just a manga shop.”

She gave her bodyguard a meaningful look, and he nodded in agreement. He’d also sensed the prevailing wrongness. “How about we go somewhere else? This place seems kinda sketchy.” Before Maeko could offer a retort, Seina jumped aside as a humongous axe flew towards where her head had been a moment earlier. It flew past and crashed into a nearby building leveling it with a resounding crash.

A large vampire emerged from literally nowhere, brandishing an axe almost larger than his body. “You got lucky. Next time I won't miss.” Several more muscular vampires emerged, surrounding them. Aiko screamed in terror and hid behind Seina.

Maeko rubbed her temple. “Jentin, you idiot! Your eagerness alerted her to the trap. Never mind. We do this the hard way instead!” Much to Seina’s shock, her friend pulled out a brooch similar to hers. “Change Change, Magical Love Genocide Dress Up!”

What the heck was happening? The veil of illusion disappeared, revealing a face she hadn’t expected. “Takako?”

The dark magical girl smirked. “Is it that shocking? Now be a good girl and die.” She pointed her black pistol point-blank towards Seina’s midsection and fired

[1-800-sunset]



Okay I got a college Dabihawks quirkless AU ft. Trans Keigo

Keigo is just another broke college student who made it in on a scholarship. Even though he was on a scholarship, living in an apartment with his best friend Rumi was hard. Not to mention Testerone shots weren’t cheap. Thankfully Rumi’s family has always had his back. When they were still in high school, it was thanks to them that he was able to get top surgery and get his name changed. His home life was pretty tough; his mom and dad were both terrible people. His dad was always in and out of jail and when he was home he would hurt his mom and him. But his mom wasn’t any better; she also took out her anger on him and would abuse substances. In eighth grade he was kicked out of the house when his mom went through his phone and found out he was Trans. Rumi’s family swooped in so quickly to take him under their custody. It’s not like either of his parents cared enough to fight them in a custody battle. Rumi had always been there for him. The Usagiyamas offered to pay for his college tuition but Keigo couldn’t let them do that so in High School he worked his butt off to go on a scholarship. Sure he was intelligent but he also put in the wok to earn what he wanted. The college he attended had one of those student program jobs which he gladly accepted the one where he got to work in the library. It just made sense to him since he was an English major. 

His favorite class had to be poetry. Sure he loved to read novels and add little notes in the margins but he has always felt comfort in poetry. Poetry was what kept him alive on those dark days in his parents’ old trailer. But it was sometimes hard to focus in that class because there was a guy who sat behind him in the next aisle that was always staring at him. He went by the name Dabi, whenever the teacher tried to say his name he would always cut her off. Dabi dressed like your stereotypical delinquent, always sporting ripped jeans and leather jacket. His nose, ears, and mouth pierced, tattoos that ran down his neck and arms and not to mention his hair was obviously dyed black. On the days Keigo really wasn’t having it he would turn around and send him a death glare as a way to tell him to cut it out. Dabi unfazed would just smirk back at him, earning an eye roll from Keigo who clearly gave up. 

If the staring in class wasn’t enough Dabi eventually found out that Keigo’s worked in the library and soon started to show up there to the dismay of Keigo. This guy sure did like to bother him. Rumi after telling her what was going on, laughed and said Dabi was probably trying to get with him. Keigo only laughed and threw his pillow at her. No way a guy like him was trying to get with Keigo. One day Keigo got sick and couldn’t make it to his job. But Rumi needed to meet up with a partner to work on a project in the library. There she found Dabi who seemed like he was looking for someone. Just from the description that Keigo gave her, she was able to figure out that he was Dabi. So she decided to help the guy out a little. She sat across from him, and he looked up at her in a way that told her to scram. She just smirked.

“Keigo’s not here today. He got sick yesterday and it’s taken him awhile to recover.”

His blue eyes widened in surprise because he didn’t expect her to know why he was here.

“The name’s Rumi. I’m his sister.” She said while extending her hand to him which he reluctantly shook. She knew that he was questioning their relation  since they looked nothing alike.

“Dabi. Now why are you telling me this?”

“Look Dabi, Keigo may be obvious but I am not. I know what you are trying to do.” 

Her suspicions were correct in the way that his cheeks flushed and diverted his eyes.

“Normally I would threaten to rip you apart but I decided I was gonna take pity on you and give you a hand.” His eyes lit up in a way that reminded her of a puppy. Oh yes he may be just what Keigo needs. 

“Keigo loves sweets. Sugar is his favorite thing in the world.That bastard has the fastest metabolism I have ever seen; he could eat desserts for days without gaining a single pound. If you want to get to his heart go through his stomach. Bring him poetry god he loves poetry more than life itself.” Rumi said with a soft look in her eye. She got up from her seat and before walking away Dabi spoke.

“How do you know if you can trust me.”

“I don’t.”

“.... thank you” was all Dabi could mutter, earning a smile from Rumi.

Dabi decided to take Rumi’s advice and started to bring Keigo sweets before their class started. Keigo was surprised to say the least that Dabi was giving him food but he wasn’t going to turn away sugar and would accept it. Making Dabi smile at him. He sure was confused to why he was doing this but hey free food is free food. On the days he worked. Dabi would stop with the whole staring at him from afar and snarky remarks when checking out books. Instead he would lean over and talk to him about their class and discuss their different analyses. Turns out Dabi had some pretty solid points. Dabi would sometimes even slide a poetry book over to him and every time he would try and return it he would refuse insisting Keigo keep it. Keigo’s reaction would always be to smile and look down at the floor as he hugged the book. Dabi’s heart would flutter at his smile only making him want to bring it out even more. One night when Keigo was leaving work Dabi decided to ask him if he would want to go to a local cafe. Keigo originally said no but his stomach eventually gave in. Dabi was ecstatic and they ate together. It was during this time that Dabi realized how much smaller Keigo was compared to him.This became their routine. Keigo would always try to fight him on paying the bill but Dabi would always win. He used his card so damn often that Keigo was definitely worried for his credit score. Dabi would only give him a lopsided smile and assure him that it was fine.

Rumi one night asks him how was his date with Dabi in which he denies it is a date. But the thought stays in his head and he can’t help but think were all those trips to eat were dates. The next day he doesn’t even look at Dabi; he's too caught up in his own mind. This stresses Dabi the fuck out because he doesn’t know if he accidentally did something to make the blond mad at him. So at Keigo’s job he asks if he did something wrong. Keigo really can’t bring himself to lie to the guy he really grew to like.

“Dabi… were all those trips to go eat together dates?” He asked not to look at him jut in case he was wrong he wouldn’t have to see the rejection.

Dabi sheepishly rubbed his neck debating whether or not to tell the truth.

“Well um uh yes…”

“Oh…” blush rising on both their faces. 

“Look Keigo, I really like you and I want to continue to go on those kinds of dates. But if you don’t I um… understand.” He was able to push out laying it all on the line.

“ I want to.. I mean yes I will go on more dates with you.” Keigo was able to say as the blush on his face grew darker. Dabi’s entire face lit up in happiness.

They start to date each other doing normal things aside from eating out. Dabi goes out of his way to shower Keigo with both gifts. Dabi really liked to show his affection physically in the forms of hugging and kissing. But sometimes they would start to get frisky which would always freak him out because he hasn’t told Dabi he was trans. He was mostly afraid. He really liked Dabi but he was so afraid of him breaking up with him. Dabi never pushed him to tell him what was wrong and would drop it, opting to hold him instead. One instance he decides to tell him the truth, he expected him to maybe yell at him in betrayal but instead he got a kiss. Dabi reassured him that he still liked him even if he was trans. Things start to get easier after that and Dabi even begins to help buy his testosterone shots, even bringing him cookies as a treat to make him feel better.

Eventually they talk about their childhoods. When Keigo tells him, he has to physically stop Dabi from getting up to try and hunt his garbage parents down. He explains how he doesn’t care about them anymore and the Usagiyamas are his true family. Dabi reveals that he is actually Touya Todoroki, son of Enji Todoroki, a well known billionaire. His dad was a terrible person, Dabi told Keigo of all the things he did to his family like the physical, emotional and mental abuse they had to endure. This drove them apart.  After his mom finally divorced his dad, he was legally obligated to give all members of his family a generous amount of money per month. Dabi used his on his college tuition and then later used it to shower his boyfriend with sweets and gifts. Dabi found it hard to talk with his family without feeling overwhelmed with bitter resentment for his dad. That night they just hold each other not wanting to let go.

During winter break Keigo decides to invite Dabi to celebrate Christmas with him and Rumi’s family. Dabi was reluctant but eventually gave in. The Usagiyamas were one of the nicest people Dabi has ever met and he was glad that they were able to care for Keigo for all these years. Rumi’s parents take a liking to him and unofficially make him a part of their family. It’s after this trip that Dabi realizes he misses his family. With Keigo by his side he reaches out to them and they decide to get together for New Year’s. Keigo offers him a gentle squeeze  of his hand when that day arrives and they are in front of his sister’s door.  He looks into Keigo’s golden eyes and gives him a nervous smile. Everything was going to be okay.

[austennerdita2533]

Hey! Hope all is well!! First of all, thank you for all the links to save money on books. I checked them out and plan to use some with buying books!! And don’t worry I have other self-restraint issues-mine come more from the fact that I get bored easily so I have about 4-5 books going at the same time. That way I can switch up genres when I need it (for instance I always have a fantasy, a romance, and a dark romance all available to me at the same time because those are my favorites) but sometimes more than one of the genres too. I also am terrible at following a tbr for instance I have been wanting to read Ugly Love for months now but then as I get closer to finishing a book a different book grabs my attention and must be read asap. But to prevent money spending I just browse through kindle and download a free sample of books I want to try instead of buying them right away. Plus I have a rule with myself that I have to read the first 10% of the book that the free sample gives me before I buy anything because at that point I can tell if I like the writing style, the potential story, etc. Just because I don’t want to buy a book and not finish it so I don’t want to waste my money and time. It has worked well so far! I mean there really has only been one book (well series) that I did not buy because I could not even get through a chapter (unfortunately that was the from blood and ash series which I know is a big hit but personally the writing style just was not for me)but it still saved me money!!

I heard about the Book of Night by Holly Black I am really looking forward to it!! I have other friends who adore Jurdan so we are all pumped to see her take on an adult romance and the summary sounded really cool!!

I will have to check out Anxious People for sure!!

But anyway I finally finished The Atlas Six!! Honestly I would have finished it sooner but I got into a romance mood so I went and read both Birthday Girl, Punk 57, and Credence by Penelope Douglas. Definitely recommend Birthday Girl if you like age gap relationships-it is a big one though so if those are not for you I do not recommend it. Punk 57 was okay, I was expecting a little more out of it than I got and I only read it since they were pen pals and I love letter writing but there was not a whole lot of that. And Credence well Credence is what it is LOL it is SUPER taboo and not for everyone and I feel slightly ashamed to say I enjoyed it, but I do not know you well enough on a personal basis to say read it or not read it because well it is wild and it is really a book that I think you love or you epically hate and think people are insane for liking. So look up at your own risk.

But did you end up finishing atlas six?? I do not want to talk about it unless you finished it!! What were your thoughts on the characters/plot/ships?? I am super excited about the future of it!! Olivie confirmed it will be a trilogy recently. I think the next book comes out next year. I also want to start some of her other books like Alone With You in the Ether. I just really enjoyed her writing style and the way she develops characters.

Can’t wait to talk about it with you once you get through it!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hello, hello! I'm embarrassed it's taken me so long to get back to you, I apologize! I haven't had access to WiFi the last week and a half so I haven't been on here much. I went away with two of my closest girlfriends and we were busy laughing, chatting, and goofing the time away--pretty standard with us, tbh. We're a bunch of Chatty Kathy's whenever we're around each other. 😄

But yayyy! I'm so happy you might be able to use some of those money saving book sites. They've been a godsend for me, truly. I mean, I still spend double what I ought on books but at least I can rationalize it because I know I'm saving some money lol. That's smart of you to have established that rule where you read 10% of the sample first before you buy the book. I might have to try that. I hate when I buy a book only to find myself disappointed because I don't enjoy the writing style or the story. I do usually read excerpts, but they're not always long enough for me to tell if I might like something or not.

I'm sorry you didn't care for the From Blood and Ash series. That seems to be hit or miss for a lot people. I believe I have the first two books on my Kindle (which I scored cheaply from Kindle Daily Deals lol) so I will get into it at some point. I'm curious which way I will land.

I don't know how people only read one book at a time. (No hate, just amazed lol.) Like you, I usually have at least 2, sometimes 3 or 4, books in rotation because I want to slip into different genres depending on my mood. And also depending on the time of day. Sometimes I prefer to read fantasies or thrillers during the day because they're exciting. I don't want to stop reading. Now, romances and non-fiction I will read at night, before bed. They're good genres to lull me to sleep with their facts and/or fluffiness.

I'm gonna have to check out Penelope Douglas. I'm not that familiar with her writing, but I'm always looking for new romance authors. You seemed so shy/embarrassed about liking Credence that I HAD to go and look up the summary lolol. You can't say "taboo" and then have me not investigate. My interest is piqued! The polyamory angle sounds fun. I've only read it in fic for the most part so this one's going on the tbr. As is Birthday Girl with the age gap. They both sound deliciously promising!

Something to know about me when it comes to books, to reading: I'm a daredevil. There's literally nothing I won't try at least once. There are times I balk AT MYSELF for the things I pick up knowingly, willingly, but I never regret it. Not even when I read something disturbing enough to give me nightmares. Which has definitely happened. 😂

And yes, I have finished The Atlas Six. I tore through that book so fast! I kept sneaking reading it when I was supposed to be doing other things. I loved that it was a character-driven fantasy because those are my favorite. And the magical system is so cool! It's such a creative blend of science and magic--like, the way she embedded particle physics and the multiverse into everything set my nerd flag flying like you wouldn't believe haha. The characters all have that morally gray Six of Crows vibe to them, too. They're enigmatic. Hard to pin down. They're all thrown together out of necessity not because they like each other, and it was fun to see how attachments did or did not form. I liked Callum the least. However, he's also one of the characters who intrigues me the most because I have no idea wtf he wants. There's no way to parse what his endgame is right now besides self-preservation. Nico is a conceited wise ass, so naturally I love him. Parisa and Reina both terrify me for different reasons. Parisa screams I AM A SIREN so I don't want to tread too close to her. Reina, I think, is going to just, like, detonate the whole planet at some point. She has so much untapped power. Tristan grew on me the most. I didn't care for him much in the beginning because he was an asshole, but then little by little, his layers start to peel back and you see how much he cares. How much he feels. Libby I related to a lot because I've spent most of my life feeling like an outcast like her. And the fact that she's constantly battling inadequacy--oof! That hit me.

As far as ships go, sheesh, I gotta say I'm conflicted! I feel like there are so many different directions the author could go??? It's rare for me not to know where the romance is headed, even this early on in the series, but I really don't.

Parisa and Dalton seem to be the most obvious ship right now. Even so, there's something dark, something dangerous and unknown lurking there so I don't know if that'll work out. Nico and Libby have the enemies-to-lovers type banter and dynamic that I love to gobble up. They're a lot of fun. I enjoy their scenes a lot. It's interesting that they're bound/connected in their powers, too. I can't wait to learn more about that. I'd be totally fine if they went romantic...but then I'm also picking up a vibe between him and his roommate. So I don't know what to think? I could get behind Libby and Tristan as well. Their unresolved tension leaps - literally LEAPS - off the page and I like how their dynamic progressed from dislike (on his end) to respect to something more...well, undefinable as of yet. There's palpable sexual/emotional energy between them, though, for sure. Callum seems to genuinely care about Tristan but he's been so damn manipulative! He'd have to jump through some hoops for me to get on board.

As you can see I babble a LOT when I get excited haha.

Anyway, what about you? Do you have any favorite characters or ships so far? That twist at the end was pretty good, don't you think? It blew the whole story wide open. I'm so looking forward to the rest of the trilogy.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts! xx

[lostgirlrewatch]

1x11 - Faetal Justice (gettin real tired of your puns, Michelle, jk I never will)

Written by: Peter Mohan

Directed by: Robert Lieberman

Original Air Date: November 28, 2010

Oops. I missed a week. Sorry :( I’m back with episode 1x11.

Dyson gets framed for murdering some Dark Fae, and the gang has to prove him innocent.

Hey, remember the club, guys? Remember what that was like? Also Vex is back. Yay.

I wish my kitchen looked that fancy. I can’t keep vegetables that fresh. Their setup only looks like it will produce tasty food, though, because apparently they can’t cook for shit.

I am excited enough to see Hale that I took this screenshot for no reason.

But anyway, Bo and Kenzi are of course investigating the crime, as they do, while Dyson invokes sanctuary back at the Dal. Which basically means that Trick clears the whole bar out and lets Dyson hang out there for some amount of time where the Dark Fae can’t immediately come after him for killing one of their own.

They end up back at the club that Dyson woke up next to, which is Vex’s club. They start to suspect Vex may have something to do with framing Dyson for the murder. I can’t imagine why.

Vex makes a comment about how “another killer in the room (Bo) adds to the excitement,” to which Kenzi fiercely replies that Bo isn’t a killer. Vex is skeptical, considering how many people she has killed over the years, and suggests that he and Bo compare “scores.”

That hit below the belt.

Evony arrives at the Dal to pick up Dyson, in spite of sanctuary, because she has decided that the rules don’t apply to her. “Just think of me as a VIP,” she says. “I do.”

What a queen. Listen, is she wrong? Do the rules apply to Evony? Need they?

She has such queen energy that I love every time she shows up, even if she does absolutely nothing except make snarky comments. You have to appreciate the dominating energy of the woman in charge of the entire darker half of the supernatural underworld. She eventually backs off though.

Meanwhile, to Bo’s surprise, Lauren shows up at the precinct to discuss the case with her and Hale. (Hale invited her, and didn’t think to tell either of them that the other would be there, because he has no idea what’s going on between them.)

Bo is still pissed as fuck. I didn’t bother getting a screenshot, but the glare she gives Lauren is just as withering as it was last time.

So Lauren does...science-y stuff, I guess. I don’t really listen to what she’s saying when she talks about her science shit. I think Lauren is suggesting that Dyson turn himself in to the Dark Fae, though? So they can compare bite marks or something? Okay, I just rewatched the scene. Lauren suggests that Dyson turn himself in and wait while they go through a whole forensics analysis of the scene to determine his innocence (not acknowledging the possibility that evidence against Dyson may have been planted). Bo is like, “fuck no.” Lauren claims that in spite of the fact that she and Dyson “haven’t always been on the best of terms,” she is “actually trying to help here.”

It doesn’t end well. It’s awkward.

Hmm...*narrows eyes* Wait.

Stick around, Lauren fans. You’ll love this. I’m analyzing Lauren.

Lauren’s solutions to problems are always very...clinical. They’re clinical without fail, often to the point of being...not good solutions.

Lauren’s solution to Dyson’s problem--being accused of murder--is to have him turn himself in so that they can run tests and have the evidence prove him innocent. This is such a clearly half-assed idea, I don’t even really know why she suggested it. This idea is like if you could not care less about Dyson or this entire situation at all but you were dragged into being a part of the brainstorming session and you were forced to contribute something. It scans as laziness. Like either Lauren’s brain is too exhausted to put any energy whatsoever into trying to help Dyson, or she actually doesn’t care about him at all and is only there out of obligation and because of Bo. Hm.

Lauren’s solutions to problems don’t just rely on science, I get she’s a scientist and those are the skills she brings to the table. She goes a step farther. Her solutions are always devoid of emotion. Think about why that is.

I mean, turning Dyson in to the Dark Fae is objectively a terrible idea, first of all because they would one hundred percent immediately string him up and torture him for information. (Which is exactly what they do later in the episode!) Lauren is not stupid. She’s a smart gal. She should know this. If she knows that Dyson would be tortured, why would she suggest he turn himself in unless she has absolutely no emotional investment in his physical or mental wellbeing whatsoever? Again, it’s a clinical solution that treats the people involved as though they are pieces in a puzzle.

Second of all, Lauren suggests they run a bunch of tests and rely on forensic evidence to determine whether or not Dyson is innocent. She says, “Hopefully [the animal hairs on the body] won’t match Dyson’s DNA, and hopefully we’ll get [the results] on time.” 

“That’s way too many ‘hopefully’s,” Bo snaps back.

Lauren doesn’t seem that concerned with whether the hairs do or don’t match Dyson’s DNA. I mean, “hopefully” they won’t, but she is content to take the risk, let the situation play out, and let the evidence speak.

But she is also completely ignoring the possibility that even if the evidence incriminates Dyson, it might have been planted there by whoever is trying to frame him. What then? There would be no way to prove that it was planted in time--the Dark Fae would instantly execute him, and no one could stop them because he’d be in their custody. Even a cursory review of Lauren’s half-assed, not-thought-out plan reveals that it’s past risky and more in the realm of stupid.

So you tell me. I’m more interested in hearing what anyone else has to say about her than writing what I think. What is the deal with Lauren? Why is she like this? Is she so cold and unfeeling that she doesn’t have any concern for the physical and emotional wellbeing of others? Does she just not give a fuck about Dyson specifically? Or is she so burnt out and exhausted by the mental strain of her job and her enslavement that she can’t summon any emotional energy whatsoever, and has to completely rely on cold logic to offer anything at all?

I said Lauren fans would like this because I was analyzing her, but I neglected to mention that I would also be dunking on her. Sorry if you were duped. I feel like I offered her a way out at the end there, though. Give me all your pro-Lauren arguments if you feel so inclined.

Anyway, Bo and Hale have a nice little mini-conversation afterwards. Hale confesses that he once thought Bo might be bad for Dyson, that she’d break his heart or he’d destroy himself for her.

He tells her he was wrong, and that she’s “the real deal.” How sweet.

The only witness to the crime is apparently this human girl named Porscha, who reminds Kenzi a lot of herself. Porscha is also young, on the streets, and a runaway from a bad home situation. 

I don’t really care about her or like her as a character, but I do appreciate that her presence prompts Kenzi to drop a few more tidbits of information about her past here and there. For instance, she mentions that she’s been on her own since she was 15, which seems like a long time but is actually only like four years because Kenzi is 19 and therefore a literal baby. 

More interesting is this exchange. Porscha comments that it must be nice that Kenzi and Bo have each other. Kenzi responds a little awkwardly. She agrees that it is nice, but then she says that she’s still getting used to it. She’s still getting used to “being noticed.” Because when she was at home, she says, it was always better to not be noticed. “That’s when things got ugly.”

Yeah. So as if we didn’t already know, Kenzi comes from an abusive home. A home that was so awful that it was better to run away and be on the streets at 15. Then she was completely alone for four years, and homeless for that entire time. 

Think about it. Living with Bo like this must feel so odd. Kenzi has never lived in a house with another person before where it actually felt like a home and she actually felt safe. The way she sort of averts her eyes, tenses a little bit when she says she’s still getting used to it (Ksenia is fantastic as always by the way) is such a realistic portrayal of a response to recovery from trauma.

The way I like to think of it is this. Going from being in a long-term traumatic situation to being in a safe and loving situation is kind of like putting a frostbitten hand in warm water. Warming it up is good, it’s healing, but when your hand is so used to being cold, warming it up is going to hurt like hell. Recovering from trauma is kind of like that. Good things can hurt, especially when you’re not used to them.

But it doesn’t hurt quite so bad for Kenzi that she’s ready to flee and go back to being alone the streets, which is what is familiar to her. It just seems like it’s mildly uncomfortable. And that’s good. Because it means she can get used to being loved and having a family.

Jesus, why am I writing these things every week, they’re so long. LMAO help

So the episode ends with the reveal that it was the bartender all along! GASP! Side note: the whole reason this episode happened is because this bartender, who is clearly an adult man (physically in his 20s or 30s but actually much older since I assume he’s Fae?) was apparently “in love” with the human girl Porscha, who, based on her conversations with Kenzi, is definitely supposed to be a teenager. And also based on her conversations with Kenzi, Porscha has even “stayed over a few times” at his place. Can you say creepy? Adult man taking advantage of a young girl on the street who has no family and nowhere else to go? Grooming her? Just saying.

In a moment that I find somewhat disturbing and rather cold, the main gang all walk out and leave the bartender to be (most likely) brutally tortured and murdered by Vex and the Morrigan. That’s him up there. I mean, I know the Dark Fae are a practically untouchable political powerhouse, and there’s not really anything Bo and the others could do, but still. They totally just left this guy to his death.

But significantly, the episode ends with Bo and Dyson sharing a kiss, as they reaffirm their feelings for one another, and seemingly enter an official romantic relationship.

Oh boy! How cute. :) I wonder what’s next for these two.

Surely not heartbreak and suffering?

Big plot developments of the episode: Bo and Dyson are (it’s implied) officially an item now. This is Bo’s first legit committed relationship in the series. #dybo #neverforgetwhereitallbegan #rip #F and respect to the two people and a potato chip who like this ship #will this actually tag this post

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (126/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Nagaoka.]

"Okay, so Treekul's in a bad spot. She should have been more careful about who she got mixed up with. Yeah, and she shouldn't have been so eager to run off on another quest. But that's what makes Treekul cool, you know? Other alchemical historians? They just sit in libraries all day, poring over dusty holo-fiches. But Treekul goes out and finds things. And for once, she had backup. Two Saiyans, Lesseri and Endive, and then we picked up a third, Guwar. With their support, I could discover all sorts of artifacts."

Treekul stopped, shook her head, and gestured to slow down. "I mean she could discover," she said. "Sorry. My therapist always told me this works better if I refer to myself in the third person. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but I-- but Treekul's under a little more stress than usual. Like I said, it was handy to have three Saiyans backing her up, even if they only wanted her to find things for them, at least she knew no one would mess with her. And she scored some decent leads along the way. There's a treasure trove of artifacts in that penthouse on Quadzityz, assuming it survived the war. Lesseri and Endive killed the owner and wrecked the security systems, and most of that stuff isn't even valuable to anyone else. Nothing to stop Treekul from walking in and helping herself. Another paper for the academic journals. If she ever makes it out of this mess, that is."

She began to pace back and forth around her modest living quarters. The strips of red fabric that made up her "robes" trailed behind her legs as she walked.

"The Saiyans were looking for a cult," she continued. "And Treekul heard it was named after 'jindan', an alchemical term for mercuric sulfide. Or, rather, the fundamental principle that mercuric sulfide represents. So she saw an opportunity and agreed to help them find this cult, using her expertise with a geomantic compass. Guwar was a mathematician, if you can believe that, so he helped out with the calculations. He was a really nice guy. Bit of an inferiority complex, but I get the feeling that goes for every Saiyan."

She stopped herself again. "Not 'was', 'is'. Guwar is a nice guy," she said. "Just because no one's told me what happened to him doesn't necessarily mean he got killed in the war. It's just... Treekul could really use his help right now. Or even if he can't help, it'd be nice if he were here to listen to her, like he did back on the ship, before they found the Jindan cult.

"Turns out the cult was real all along, and they leave just enough bread crumbs out there so that other Saiyans can find them. Their leader is the Saiyan King, Rehval III, but here, he calls himself 'Trismegistus', a reference to the Thrice Blessed alchemist from ancient writings. Rehval seems to think he's uncovered some great secret, something that makes him the greatest alchemist ever, and from what I've seen, he might be right about that. His Jindan potion makes Saiyans even stronger, and he must have thousands of them working for him. Only trouble is that they have to give up their free will. Rehval tells them what to eat, when to sleep, they all have sex in some 'breeding pit' thing that I don't even want to think about..."

She paused to rub the bridge of her nose, then ran her hand over the short green hair on her lavender scalp. It was normally a satisfying feeling for her, but not this time, her hair was too long for that by now.

"The others all did whatever Rehval told them to. All they cared about was power. They brought Treekul here, and no one was interested in how she got home. No payday, no paper, no treasure trove of artifacts. Instead, Rehval decided to keep her as some sort of alien pet. He thinks he can train her to be an alchemist, and so far he hasn't done too bad a job of it, at least when he's not creeping on her. It makes me... It makes her want to scream. But that's okay. It's okay for her to be frightened. She's never been this afraid, and she's got good reason to be."

She stopped pacing and looked intently in the direction of her bed. "So here's the good news. Treekul has options. Sure, she's not any closer to getting off this planet than when she first arrived, but she hasn't been wasting time either. Treekul didn't get this far without being resourceful. She can be absolutely terrified and still get herself out of this. That's what makes her strong."

She went to a small writing desk along the wall of her room and picked up a scroll. It carried a faint odor of rotten eggs and olefins. "Rehval's convinced that she'll become his apprentice, I guess ruling over the Saiyans like a god isn't enough for him, he wants to pass down his knowledge of alchemy. Well, fine. If he's as talented as he says he is, maybe he'll show Treekul a little more than he should. Something she can use to get out of here. For instance, this scroll belonging to Mirdane talks about disguising yourself perfectly, even down to smell and ki signature. If Treekul can get good enough at alchemy to figure that out, she could walk right up to the shipyard and be halfway to the next star system before anyone knew she was missing.

"I know what you're thinking: Treekul's a quick study, but she's an archaeologist who studies alchemists, not an alchemist herself, so maybe that plan is little too ambitious. Fair point. Which is why she's been working other angles. The boss wants her to play one of his priestesses, right? He's dressed her up in a cocktail dress that went through a blender. Well, that gives her access to all his brainwashed goons, and all that undeserved authority that comes with it. She hasn't heard from the acolytes who offered to show me around the hangar, but they seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Don't worry, when they finally take her on the tour, Treekul won't spend too much time there, just enough to get a feel for the place when it's time for her to snoop around by herself.

"And if that doesn't pan out there's always Endive. Too bad about her. For a while there, I was sure she'd turn on the boss. From what I hear, Rehval does something to the cultist's memories, so they don't recognize him as the king, even of they knew him before when he ruled Planet Saiya. At some point Endive must have found out that "Trismegistus" is the same guy who killed her father, but she doesn't seem to care. He's been using her for one of his casual sex hookups for weeks now. I thought..."

She stopped and took a seat in her chair, then looked down at the red flats on her feet. "I just thought-- Treekul thought Endive was smarter than that. She was so disciplined and focused. You'd think she wouldn't be so easily manipulated, but... she's become completely devoted to him, and the scariest thing is that you can tell she knows it's wrong. But enough about her. If Endive and Lesseri won't help Treekul, then Treekul needs to forget about them."

She stood up and started pacing again. "Speaking of sex... Treekul doesn't want to go down that road, but she has to keep it in mind. Rehval has his followers convinced that he needs a rotation of women to share his bed. Something about 'balancing his bodily humors', but I think we all know he just wants to have a good time. He wants Treekul for some reason. All those women at his beck and call, and he wants the one woman on the planet who isn't interested. It's like he's waiting for her to fall madly in love with him. Yeah, good luck with that. Still... if she's going to earn his trust, she need to play along with his expectations. Maybe she ought to flirt a little, so he'll think his plan is working. He's not exactly unattractive, it's the whole 'delusions of grandeur' thing that's a turn-off."

Treekul stopped and crossed her arms as she looked at the bed. "Here's the problem. If she's not careful, he'll probably get bored with her and have her brainwashed like everyone else on this planet. Or he'll just kill her for being an alien. On the other hand, if she's too careful, and Treekul waste too much time playing the eager disciple, the he won't need to brainwash her, because she'll basically be doing it for him. Ugh! What a fix."

"Um, were you finished?"

"Huh?"

The Saiyan man lying on her bed had sat up and pointed to his ears, which were stuffed with wax. "I'm on duty in ten minutes," he said. "Unless you need me to stay here..."

Treekul gestured at her own ears for him to remove the wax, and so he did.

"Yeah, all finished," she said. "You were amazing, Zhoybok."

"It's an honor, madam priestess," he said as he rose from the bed, "but I really don't understand your species' mating practices. You didn't even touch me the whole time."

"Oh, you don't remember any of it, then?" Treekul asked in mock concern. "I guess the psychic vibrations must have been beyond your comprehension. That happens with aliens who lack the secret eighth sense my people have. You probably just hallucinated me pacing around and talking to myself."

Zhoybok was astonished. "As a matter of fact, I did!"

"To tell you the truth, a lot of my kind frown on this sort of thing. They think it's perverse to have this level of intimacy with life forms who can't experience it properly. But for me, I think that's part of the thrill. It's so... savage, don't you think?"

Zhoybok wasn't sure what to say, but he wasn't interested in disputing the words of a priestess, so he accepted her compliments and excused himself. Once he was gone, Treekul shook her head and lay down on the bed. Lying was tiring work, even to someone as gullible as Zhoybok.

"I really need to get more comfortable about talking to myself," she said.

*******

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

There were only four people aboard Luffa's star-yacht, which now criss-crossed the worlds of the Federation in a frantic effort to keep pace with the Jindan Cult's attacks. The Federation defenses were spread thin, and if any invading ship managed to land on a planet, there were few who could stand up to the alchemically-empowered Saiyans inside. Luffa was getting better at fighting them, but their numbers were beginning to take a toll on her body. Dr. Topsas, her personal physician, had found ways to heal her in time for the next battle, while the clairvoyant Dotz had proven handy at predicting attacks before they happened, so Luffa could plan her travel. The fourth passenger on board, Zatte, was Luffa's wife, and she was beginning to wonder if she served any useful purpose here at all.

"That's ridiculous," Wampaaan'riix said when she shared her frustrations with him over the subspace radio. The Yetitan looked as enormous as ever, despite the desktop monitor scaling down his nine-foot-tall frame. "You practically operate the entire ship by yourself."

"So did Keda," Zatte said. She was rubbing the muscles in her arms and legs while she spoke to him. "And she did it better than I ever could."

"And you find no honor in succeeding a fallen comrade?" Wampaan'riix asked.

"It's not enough," Zatte said. "Keda didn't recognize Luffa as a xan-nil'Dor. For her, Luffa was a friend, and sort of a business partner, I guess you could say. For me, she's my wife, and an instrument of Providence. I have to do better. Especially now."

It was almost impossible to read his expressions through the coat of long white hair that covered most of his face, but the way Wampaaan'riix narrowed his eyes was unmistakable. "You're not thinking of going with her into the field?" he asked warily.

"I already have," Zatte said. "At first it seemed to be just what I wanted. I'd set up somewhere safe and shoot down cultists to keep them off Luffa's back. Trouble is, she took it as a challenge. Lately, she's been making it her business to take out the enemy before I can get a shot off. And that's romantic and all, but--"

"You two are insane," Wampaaan'riix grumbled.

"Look, I have to be there for her," Zatte said. She had moved on to stretching her hamstrings. "She's fighting a war against her own kind. Even the Saiyans on our side don't fully trust her. She doesn't let it show, but I know how much it eats at her. I can't imagine what it would be like to fight other Dorluns."

"I agree, she needs your support," Wampaaan'riix said. "But if you keep pushing yourself you may not be there when she needs it the most. This Dotz woman. She can predict the enemy attacks, can't she? Why not ask her for help? If she can tell Luffa where to go and when, then she can do the same for you, right?"

"That's the problem," Zatte said. "Dotz can't see Luffa's fate, only the planets and battles that lie ahead. We only know Luffa will get involved when Luffa decides to intervene."

"Strange, but even if that's true, why not see what Dotz can read about your own future?" Wampaaan'riix suggested. "I'm surprised you haven't already. You're a survivalist after all."

"I... I can't," Zatte said. She rose from the foam mat on the deck of her cabin and approached the desk.

"Well why not?" Wampaaan'riix asked. "It can't be a moral objection. You seem to have no problem with any of Dotz' other readings."

"Look, I... I have to go. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Just promise me you'll do it in the daytime," Wampaaan'riix groaned. "I know you've been in space a long time, but my den is on a different day-night cycle than--"

She hastily switched off the monitor, and a second later Luffa entered the cabin.

"I set the slow cooker for three hours," Luffa said as she rubbed her hands together. "How long before we get to Dodjem?"

"Tomorrow morning," Zatte said. They met in the center of the cabin and embraced.

"Dotz thinks there'll be ten Jindan Saiyans there," Luffa said with a smile. "Should be interesting."

"I'm going with you," Zatte insisted.

"Oh, I can handle ten," Luffa assured her.

"Then I'll watch you through my scope," Zatte said. "Or I'll shoot a few down for you, but either way, I'm coming along."

"Heh. Okay. You worry too much, you know that?"

"Someone has to," Zatte said. "Dotz still can't see your future, you know."

"Well, her other predictions are getting better," Luffa said. "On Shoust IV, she managed to get an accurate count on the enemy. She even located them to within a one mile radius. I think her powers are really coming along."

"Yeah, but she can't see your future."

"Does that still bother you?" Luffa asked.

Zatte tightened her grip on Luffa's torso and swung her onto the nearby bed. A moment later, she was had climbed on top of Luffa, planting her hands on her shoulders.

"No, it doesn't," Zatte said. "Not anymore."

"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Luffa said with a grin.

"I thought about it," Zatte said after giving her a long kiss. "I prayed about it too. Is it all right if I light some candles?"

"Uh, sure, knock yourself out," Luffa said.

Zatte rolled off of Luffa and went to a storage cabinet on the other side if her cabin. She removed four candles and laid them on the floor in a trapezoid formation surrounding the bed. After she lit each one, she got back in bed and knelt beside Luffa.

"Is the scent too much for you?" Zatte asked. "I know how sensitive your nose is."

"It's fine," Luffa said. "Smells kind of nice, really."

"It's not exactly sacred," Zatte said. The incense is just to keep insects away during religious observances. It makes me feel closer to Providence, though. So does this."

She placed her hand on Luffa's neck, and rested her thumb where she could take her pulse. The she took a deep breath and muttered something in her native language.

"Uh, what's going on here, exactly?" Luffa asked.

"I realized that I was letting Dotz' abilities cloud my faith in you," Zatte said. "I promised myself that I wouldn't ask her to read my future. I was worried that she might find out that I end up living without you somehow."

"I won't leave you, Zattie," Luffa said. "We've had our ups and downs, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I have to trust that," Zatte said. "That's why I can't let Dotz's predictions bother me. She's getting better at them, but not when it comes to you. That scared me for a while, so I started meditating on it."

"Go on," Luffa said carefully.

"I came to realize that it makes sense that Dotz can't see your fate, because you're part of the Divine Plan. If she knew what you were going to do and when, then it would be like she was seeing into the mind of Providence."

"Or maybe I'm just so powerful that my ki interferes with her readings," Luffa suggested.

"Sure, that could be all it is," Zatte said. "But I like the version that supports my fanatic devotion to you."

She leaned over to kiss Luffa, still taking her pulse as they embraced. Luffa pulled away gently, and shook her head.

"You know how uncomfortable I get with this stuff," she said.

"I know," Zatte said. "But you keep getting hurt out there, and Dotz doesn't know what will happen next, so this is how I cope."

"I mean, you tell me I'm like God's righteous bludgeon or something, but the other night you... well, it was great, but maybe it was sacrilegious?"

Zatte straddled Luffa again, and held down her shoulders. "It's okay," she said. "Sex is a consecration ritual in my culture."

"Oh yeah?" Luffa asked.

"Dorluns value survival. People don't usually have sex while they're being chased by predators. They do it when they're safe and secure. And it can bring about new life."

"Huh. Maybe that's why my own people are so uptight about it," Luffa said. "In public, I mean. I've always had... ah!... mixed feelings about being safe."

"It's all in how you look at it. We're flying through a vacuum, faster than the speed of light, through a war zone, on a pleasure craft with no crew. And we're not exactly dressed for action right now. But if you're still bored, I'll... mmph!... I'll see if I can keep you amused for a while."

*******

[21 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

The battle on Dodjem went as smoothly as could be expected. Dotz' prophecies were mostly accurate, and Luffa was able to surprise the enemy before they noticed her ship. They fought back ferociously, and Luffa's right shoulder was scorched by a ki attack, but Dr. Topsas was confident that he could heal this in a matter of days. Dodjem was liberated in less than two hours, and Luffa proceeded on her way to the next battle Dotz had predicted, in the Ryllax System.

"Careful," Luffa said, guiding Zatte's hand away from her banadaged shoulder. She had set up the slow cooker once again, and the two of them had convened in Zatte's cabin.

"Does it hurt?" Zatte asked as she gingerly lifted Luffa's blood-stained shirt over her head and other arm.

"Sure it hurts, but that's not the point," Luffa said. "Doc'll really be sore if you mess up his bandanges."

"It's a wonder the whole ship isn't full of this stuff," Zatte said. She tossed the shirt at the laundry receptacle, but it hit the rim and fell out instead. "I mean, where does he put it all after he cuts it off of you?"

"He eats it," Luffa said.

"You're kidding."

"No, seriously. I've seen him do it. He makes all of these bandages from his own webbing. It takes a lot of protein to make that work, so he doesn't like to waste it."

"I had no idea," Zatte said. "You think you know a guy... whuh--!"

Luffa pulled her close with her good arm. "Forget about him for now. I wanted to talk about that shot you took back on Dodjem."

Zatte's expression shifted from genuine surprise to feigned innocence. "Oh, did that bother you, darling?"

"I thought one of those Jindan bastards found you," Luffa said. "I had one of them wide open, ready to kill, and I had to pass it up so I could chase the other one down before he found you."

"He had no idea where I was hiding," Zatte boasted.

"I know," Luffa said. "Even I couldn't find you. How am I supposed to watch your back if I don't even know where you are? You're taking a big risk out there, you know that, right?"

"That's the way," Zatte said. "Talk dirty to me."

"Oh, I'll do more than talk before I'm through with you," Luffa said with a grin. "I'll-- dammit..."

She rolled away from Zatte and drew her arms to her chest.

"Let me see," Zatte said.

"It's nothing," Luffa insisted. "Just give me a minute."

"Let me see," Zatte insisted back. Luffa made an irritated grunt, but didn't resist when Zatte took her hands in her own.

"I was starting to think your hands had stopped trembling," Zatte said as she massaged Luffa's palms. It didn't actually do anything to improve the situation, but it made them both feel better when she did this. "I haven't seen you stuff them in your pockets much lately."

"It's... it's not as bad as it used to be," Luffa said. "I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with Katem, but I think it still helps. Maybe it's all your prayers."

"He's kind of a hot mess," Zatte said.

"Just like his mom, huh?" Luffa chuckled.

"You're not a bad mother, Luffa. What happened wasn't your fault."

"I know," Luffa said. "It doesn't help much, but I know."

"You're still worked up about Fytpall, aren't you?" Zatte asked.

"I've seen worse in my time," Luffa said.

"Maybe, but you were pretty shaken up when you came back from that one," Zatte said. "You don't usually stick around and see what the civilians are going through."

"I'm just... I'm not strong enough, Zattie. I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but I know I could do better than this. If I was just a little better, I could..."

"You're good enough, okay? And maybe you can get stronger, but you can't just get there instantly. It's like you always tell me when we spar."

Luffa didn't say anything, but her heavy sigh was response enough. Zatte continued to rub her thumbs into the scars on Luffa's hands.

"You don't have to be tough for me," Zatte said. "It's okay. It's okay."

Soon enough, the tremors in Luffa's hands subsided, and they went back to what they were doing, although the mood had shifted from flirtation to comfort. Within thirty minutes, their clothes lay on the deck, and they were entangled in the sheets. Zatte occasionally said something in her own language, and kept her finger on Luffa's carotid artery as she muttered to herself. Eventually, she sat up and cradled Luffa's upper body in her lap.

*******

[24 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

"I was so busy favoring my shoulder that I left my knee wide open!" Luffa grumbled. The campaign on Ryllax had ended hours ago, but Luffa's clothes and hair still carried the scent of Ryllaxian pollens from the battlefield.

"Are you going to make it to Eirzee IV?" Zatte asked as she carried Luffa's pants to the laundry receptacle. She took in the strange aroma one last time before shoving the clothes into the hatch.

"Oh, sure," Luffa said. "Doc repaired the worst of it, and I'll have to play it more carefully, but now he's gonna kick me out of the kitchen!"

"You don't know that," Zatte said.

"I can practically hear him, Zattie," Luffa said. "'Saving planets is one thing, but I'll not have you undoing all my work making a casserole, little mammal.'"

"What, now you can see the future, too?" Zatte asked. She was setting up candles around the bed again.

"Heh, maybe. I guess Old Darbock's genes are finally kicking in," Luffa said. "But it looks like I only know how to predict cranky doctors, so Dotz's job is probably safe."

"Well, I hate to take sides, but we can get by on leftovers for a while," Zatte said. "You cook too much food anyway."

Luffa lay back in the bed and groaned. "Still? I keep cutting the portions down for you guys, and it's still too much? That's insane..."

"I'm going to do my litany now," Zatte said. "Any requests?"

"I, uh, I don't think so," Luffa said. "Well, bless Dotz again. And Doc, and the others. And yourself."

Zatte began speaking slowly and methodically, reciting lines from the Dorlun Holybook in her alien tongue. Luffa only knew bits and pieces of her language, but Zatte had been happy to translate for her whenever she asked.

Luffa felt strange whenever her wife did these kinds of observances. She had never been comfortable with being a "chosen one" in Zatte's theology-- or anyone else's, for that matter. And yet, watching this woman pray over her so fervently was somehow inspiring. Zatte had suffered so much in her life, and yet she refused to abandon her principles. It reminded her of Saiyan pride, though Luffa supposed that most beings would just call it stubbornness. Zatte was too zealous to give up hope.

"Thank you for letting me do this," Zatte said when she finished.

"No problem," Luffa said. "Your language is pretty."

She leaned over and fetched a bottle of oil from the edge of the bed. Carefully, she dispensed a small portion onto her fingers, then dabbed it on Luffa's throat and wrists, tracing along the path of major blood vessels.

"All done," Zatte said.

"You've been really ramping up the religious stuff lately," Luffa said. "The litanies, the candles, the oil. I don't really get it myself, but is it helping you?"

"I think so," Zatte said. "The Dorluns prefer not to waste resources on empty ceremony. Some types of xan-nil'Dor call for physical labor. Farming a plot of land, or defending an important place. You, though, well, you're damn near invincible, so you're pretty low-maintenance. I just need something to do. A routine to renew my devotion to your cause."

"Like a practice drill," Luffa said.

Zatte rose from the bed and started putting out the candles. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I may not be able to stop your hands from shaking, but at least I can show that I care. I think that's worth doing."

"Maybe," Luffa said. "It's not a big deal. They don't interfere with my fighting."

Zatte lay down beside her and took her hands in her own. "It just reminds me of what you've been through. I can't take away your pain, but I can try to empathize. You taught me how important that is."

"I taught you?"

"Sure. You're the most compassionate person I know."

*******

[27 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

Dr. Topsas did not order Luffa out of the kitchen, though after the battle on Gairess, he began to wish he had. He implored Luffa to wait before heading off into another battle, but the point was moot. Dotz had no new predictions, and so Luffa found herself with no choice but to wait. Once more, she spent the evening in her wife's cabin.

"I... I gotta admit," Zatte said as she tried to catch her breath. "Even with the broken ribs... you really--"

"Is this messed up?" Luffa suddenly asked.

"Is what messed up?"

Luffa pointed at herself and then at Zatte. "Us," she said. "I mean, you've got the candles set up, you say a prayer before we go to bed, and then we talk about almost getting killed to get in the mood."

"Don't forget the sparring," Zatte said.

"You know, I never sparred with Kandai," Luffa said. "He never wanted to, and I never questioned it. He was so much stronger than me that he didn't see the point. But the gap between you and me is even bigger, and I love sparring with you."

"We're aliens," Zatte said. "I'm cut off from my own people and you're unique among yours. There's nothing conventional about us."

"I know, but... Zattie, are you ever afraid?"

"Of course," Zatte said. "Fear keeps you alive."

"I mean, are your afraid right now?" Luffa asked.

"Here? With you?" Zatte asked. "No. Are you afraid?"

"Yeah," Luffa said.

"About the war? Your son?"

"I'm afraid I'm not good enough," Luffa said. I feel like I'm gonna screw this up. Like I have before."

She reached for Zatte's face, and gently removed the patch from her right eye, revealing the scar tissue and prosthetic implant underneath.

"If it's me you're worried about..." Zatte began, but Luffa put her finger on her lips to silence her.

"I know, you're prepared to burn for me, or suffer whatever it takes, right? I wish I had a tenth of your courage. I wish... well, I wish there was some other Super Saiyan handling this."

"Aren't you always saying you're stronger than they were?" Zatte asked.

"Maybe I am, but I bet the old heroes never had to deal with the kind of baggage I've got."

"This is about your hands, isn't it?" Zatte asked. She took Luffa's palms into her own, and held them steady in case they began to tremble.

"It was four years ago," Luffa said. "I should have gotten over it by now. I should have gotten over Keda's death, I should have gotten over everything... The old heroes never had to deal with this sort of thing. They just fought and won. Nice and simple. I'm fighting, and I'm winning, but I keep dwelling on it all. Worrying about battles from the past, wondering how I'm going to do in the next ones."

"Maybe they had it just as bad," Zatte said. "Maybe the storytellers just left those parts out."

"Sometimes I wish things were different, you know? You told me before this is exactly how you wanted things to be, but I bet you'd like it better with Keda still alive. Or hell, the rest of the colony."

"But they're not alive, Luffa," Zatte said. "I have to accept that they're gone."

"I could have saved them all," Luffa said. "I had the power. I must have had it inside me all along. If only I had known how to use it then. When it would have mattered. If only I wasn't such a coward..."

"Don't say things like that!" Zatte said. "I know you use that kind of talk to get yourself fired up, but I don't want you believing that sort of thing. You're the bravest person I know."

"It's not enough," Luffa said. "That's what I worry about, anyway."

"And that's what the candles and the prayers are for," Zatte said. She lifted Luffa's hands slightly. "I don't just pray for the tremors to stop," she said. "I pray that the tremors won't interfere with your mission. I pray that you can accept what you are the way I do. You know why?"

Luffa didn't answer, so she lay down beside her and took her hand.

"Maybe you're right, and maybe another Super Saiyan could deal with this better than you could. You've told me that you think there might be another one like you, a thousand years from now. Well, I don't think the universe can wait that long. I think we need a Super Saiyan right now, and you're it."

"You're right," Luffa said. "It's just hard to see it that way from the inside. All these fights I've been having with these cultists, they start to run together after a while. It'd be different if they were stronger, or if I could come at them healthy. But they keep chipping away at me, and there doesn't seem to be any end to it..."

"We've got some time, at least," Zatte said. "Dotz hasn't seen anything new coming up, right? Remember how you used to fly over the coastlines on Luffasworld?"

"Yeah," Luffa said, "but that's way out in the galactic core. By the time we got there--"

Zatte put a finger on her lips. "I know that, but Woshad's not far away. We could take a few days to look around there."

Luffa seemed pleased by the suggestion, but before she could speak, a chirping noise sounded from the cabin's intercom, and both women looked up to see the light blinking on the panel on the wall.

"Um, this is Dotz," came the voice through the speaker. "Well, um, the service robot told me I could talk to the whole ship this way, and I thought it might be faster than trying to find everyone. Despye's been attacked. Or, well, it will be in about twenty hours. It looks pretty bad to me. I saw about twenty Saiyans, and one of those rock creatures they use."

"Oh no..." Zatte said.

"I, uh, set a course for Despye," Dotz continued, "and we should be heading there now, but I thought one of you should check to make sure I did it right. I'm still getting used to the helm controls..."

"We won't get there in twenty hours," Luffa grumbled. "Those bastards will have a head start, again. Even if the fleet can get there before us--"

"I know, I'll take care of it," Zatte said. She rolled out of the bed and went to find her clothes. "You need to get some sleep."

"Fine, but make sure you get some yourself," Luffa said. "I mean... you're going with me, right?"

"So I can watch you wipe them out before I can even line up a shot?" Zatte asked. "Sure, if you want me to."

"Actually," Luffa said as she patted her swollen knee, "I was thinking I might lure a few in for you to shoot. Make things a little easier. For Doc, you know?"

Zatte grinned as she pulled her shirt over her head, and most of that smile was still there when she turned to look back at Luffa. "For Dr. Topsas," she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Makes sense. He's been working pretty hard lately."

"Just don't stay up all night cleaning your guns, okay?" Luffa muttered.

Zatte pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the door. "Anything you say," she chuckled as she headed out into the corridor.

NEXT: Rats in mazes.

[theredhairedmonkey]

A few people had some feedback for my meta on Claudia here. Instead of reblogging the meta over and over again, I’d rather address the arguments raised by @silverspetz​ here and @atreefullofstars​ here.

So... neither of these posts seem all that enthusiastic with either (1) my treatment of Dark Magic nor (2) my assessment of Claudia. I’ll do my best to break down both of these arguments as well as possible.

From @silverspetz​:

I don’t really believe in the “power corrupts” thing in the first place, but even if I did it wouldn’t change the fact that primal magic users also have elevated power and the only reason you can give for why dark magic would be more tempting is because it makes things “too” easy. If you were actually honest with this argument you would be insisting that the true evil is that magic exists at all and not just that dark magic is arbitrarily “too powerful”. 

Let's break down these forms of magic. For Primal Magic, in order to take full advantage of all that it can offer you, a mage has to have an arcanum (or an uber-rare Primal Stone). An arcanum requires a deep, fundamental understanding of the Primal Source, and far more so; there’s a reason only a rare few elves even become mages, and why even sky mages can’t automatically learn to grow mage wings. There’s a lot of internal mental discipline and legwork that’s involved--the reason why Lujanne can cast spells, but Runaan and Rayla can’t. While Callum is an exception, canonically it usually takes years if not decades to master this kind of magic.

Dark Magic doesn’t require any of this. If you have the materials and the incantation words, that’s enough. No deep understanding or internal channeling of magic is required. That’s what makes it so easy. And this is canon; this is what Aaron and Justin describe as the difference between Primal and Dark Magic when it comes to ease.

But being easy does not in of itself make Dark Magic bad. It’s why it’s tempting (Callum catches on to this, even when Viren and Claudia do not). The fact that there is no limit to what you can do with Dark Magic, combined with the fact that everything you could ever need or want could just be a single spell away is what makes this dangerous. Again, unlike Primal Magic, Dark Magic is characterized as unlimited power. That’s what makes this a toxic combination.

Primal Magic simply doesn’t operate this way. It’s a naturally occuring phenomenon that can be tapped into. There are limits as to what can be done; Primal Energy needs to be nearby, and many spells, such as aspiro and mage wings, are limited by what the mage can physically exert.

The Primal Mages that we’ve seen demonstrate a separate issue with Primal Magic, but I’ll talk about that below. 

Sure, it is nice that you at least admit that Xadia probably exiled humans to preserve the status quo, but you are still insisting that dark magic is the only kind with inherently corrupting influence and acting as if being born with an inherent power isn’t already playing life at easy mode. You don’t ask the question “how long before elves decide to do the easy thing instead of the right thing” even though they have already done far worse things than any dark mage on the show. It is all so very reminicent of all the arguments you hear from the majority whenever a minority tries to assert itself. “No, you can’t fight oppression your way, that’s wrong and bad. Do it on our terms”. The show’s thesis is basically that “reverse racism” is worse than actual racism, and the fandom largely agrees. You can save your “is dark magic too powerful” concerns until humanity as a whole has been given even a modicum of the power they actually deserve.

The show definitely doesn’t pull its punches when it comes to dragons and elves. Sol Regem quite nearly wipes out a city, while the ethnic cleansing of humans had been compared to the Trail of Tears by the show’s creators. And the thing is, there are issues with the way elven mages and dragons use their magic, even though that’s beyond the scope of my meta on Claudia. But just because a group is oppressed or marginalized doesn’t mean any attempt to gain, as you say, a “modicum of the power they actually deserve” is justified. In fact, that’s all very reminiscent of real-life formerly oppressed groups who either gained that “modicum of power” through exploiting others or taking advantage of their newfound power to settle the score with their former oppressors, which just perpetuates a cycle of hatred and violence...which kinda sounds like the point the first three seasons of the show was trying to push!

To your question “how long before elves decide to do the easy thing instead of the right thing,” we already have an answer. There is an elf who isn’t bothered by questions of doing the right thing.

Who only really cares about increasing his own power in the quickest way possible, regardless of who he harms, corrupts or kills along the way.

And it’s this guy:

In spite of mastering all six Primal Sources, he still turns to Dark Magic as a means to get what he wants. Which does give us the answer to your question--when an elven doesn’t care about the right thing, merely the easy thing, they too turn to Dark Magic. That’s the corrupting influence of this branch of magic. Aaravos should have had all the power he needed, but he wanted more.

And what does he do with his power once he has it? He eclipses the Sun Nexus, creating perpetual night over Lux Auera and quite possibly wiping out the city. That should drive home what “unlimited power” means with regard to Dark Magic--you can quite possibly destroy Primal Sources at will. You can’t do that with Primal Magic.

But Primal Mages, at least who we’ve seen, don’t particularly care to bolster their own power over the lives of others because, honestly, they’re kinda indifferent to them. And that’s their flaw--not power-lust, but apathy to the plight or struggles of people.

Keep in mind, they’re not unkind or callous toward others. Lujanne, for instance, is nice and will help Team Zym...when they ask her to. It’s why she simultaneously tells the group that “dark forces are pursuing you” while still being willing to show Callum around and letting the team drag their heals. Rayla was quite indignant at that (”I thought you were on my side!”). 

Or, she helps Ez get to Xadia because Soren asks her to, then wanders off to fuck around with other humans, while a war for the future of the world is fought. 

Ibis is similar--he suggests to Callum that the group simply leaves with Zym rather than make their stand, thus giving Viren the opportunity to gain power. He helps out in finding dragons to fight alongside them, but we never see him take part in the battle itself. Just like Lujanne, he helps the group with their goals but doesn’t engage directly with any threats.

The differences between Dark and Primal Mages are similar to the Sith and the Jedi in the Prequel Trilogy. The Sith are power-hungry, perhaps beginning their fall to the Dark Side out of a goal to protect their loved ones or a similar aim before being corrupted by their desire for power and domination. The Jedi, however, are “keepers of the peace,” and will get involved when that peace is disrupted...and turn a blind eye to slavery on worlds like Tatooine. They’ll preserve the status quo, but don’t do much else, which is why the Separatist Crisis was started in the first place; countless worlds were irate that the Republic, and by extension, the Jedi Council, ignored their problems and struggles.

Primal Mages are the Jedi in this situation. From what we could ascertain, they didn’t do much of anything to help the humans before they were desperate enough to turn to Dark Magic.  The fact that a human learning an arcanum was so surprising just shows how little anyone tried to help humanity before dismissing them as a lost cause. 

This is also why Callum is such a standout example of a mage. He rejects the temptation of Dark Magic while also deciding to stay and fight to defend Zym. He’s chosen who he wants to be, and he’s not going to make the same mistakes that mages from either camp have made.

Primal Magic has its flaws, but to say that Dark Magic and Primal Magic both represent power and share the same temptations misses the larger point.

As for Claudia supposedly being “selfish”, yeah, this is where you are absolutely being dishonest to demonize Claudia. Soren was not willing to accept his condition. It was blatantly obvious that he was just having a breakdown and trying to find silver-linings whereever he could. Even his first poem was basically him lamenting his new situation. And he was very obviously happy when Claudia fixed his spine. 

You would have a point had Claudia actually obtained Soren’s consent. The fact that she didn’t even bother to ask his permission violated his agency. Even after she was done, Soren never found out what it cost for him to be healed. 

All of this is extremely problematic. It’s not a small thing that medical practitioners seek out consent from their patients, even when the treatment is painless, simple, and safe. The autonomy that people have over their own bodies is of utmost importance, something that can’t be dismissed with a simple “Oh well he was unhappy anyway, he would have said yes if I asked.”

I think that, deep down, even now, Claudia is a good person. She thinks what she’s choosing to do with her magic is ultimately the right thing. It’s just that, in her mind, other people don’t get to choose.

 So forgive me if I think that meta about primal magic you plan to write is going to be a bunch of drivel that admits elves wen’t too far in commiting genocide but ultimately doesn’t see how being born with the power to crush armies might make you at least as tempted to solve all your problems with sheer force as the ability to turn chains into snakes.

Hopefully, the little that I wrote about Primal Magic assuaged your worries somewhat. There’s a lot more to write about this form of magic, most of which can’t fit here.

And it’s not like creatures with Primal Magic never use sheer force to try and solve their problems (that’s exactly what Sol Regem attempts to do). But when you look at what you can do with Primal Magic versus what you can do with Dark Magic, the former simply doesn’t compare. This isn’t an apples to apples comparison in terms of raw power.

For @atreefullofstars​:

And miss me with “dark magic is easy and dark mages don’t sacrifice anything so everything they do is selfish.” Yeah, characters in the show–the ones who already don’t like dark magic–have said that a few times. But what’s shown on screen is dark mages collapsing, falling ill, panting, and turning corpselike and clearly unhealthy from using it, when nothing like that happens to primal mages. What is “Claudia doesn’t lose anything other than a streak of black hair” supposed to mean? She didn’t make a magical trade, her hair color for Soren’s spine; if that were the case she wouldn’t have needed the deer. She did something so difficult, that put so much physical strain on her body, that it turned some of her hair white. When that happens in real life, there are physiological consequences way beyond hair color; the hair is just a clear visual representation of how badly that strained her body.

Lets set aside whether Dark Mages never sacrifice anything for their magic (Ziard, for instance, sacrificed his life to save Elarion; Callum fell into a coma). What I’m talking about is in this particular case--Claudia momentarily collapses from using a lot of Dark Magic...then proceeds to get back up again and is none the worse for wear in the next scene. That’s all I’m trying to say. Claudia does not “sacrifice her own well-being” to save her brother when there are no long-term side effects to her other than that one streak (it’s not from the physical strain either; stress-induced grayness doesn’t just come up in one spot and it certainly doesn’t friggin turn already black hair white!).

The streak isn’t supposed to visually represent the strain on her body that was clearly temporary. It visually represents how Dark Magic is slowly starting to change Claudia. One might say it’s corrupting her.

And if that just isn’t enough, if she should have to give up more because she’s supposedly being selfish, well, it’s still more than primal mages sacrifice. What did Callum sacrifice to save Rayla? What did it cost him, what did he lose? Is it selfish that he used his magic to rescue her from falling, because he loves her and doesn’t want his life to change by losing her? What did he give up when he cast Fulminus to selfishly override Ibis’s objections to teaching him? What did it cost him to cast Aspiro and blow Zym up into the air to block out the sun, saving him and Rayla? Every primal spell in the show is “selfish” when you view it through a lens determined to show it that way, and not one of them has a cost. Every good deed anyone has EVER done could be construed as selfish because it made them feel good to do it; even if it was difficult or uncomfortable, they were obviously still satisfying some other principle they value more and getting net benefit.

I think you’re missing the point if you think that the issue with Dark Magic is that it doesn’t come with enough personal sacrifice. Me arguing that Claudia didn’t sacrifice her well-being for Soren isn’t me arguing that she should have.

But as for whether primal mages are selfish...Callum quite nearly falls to his death in a long-shot attempt to save Rayla. And keep in mind, he isn’t trying to save an idea of her, or the portrait of a perfect relationship, or something that he simply desires for himself. He’s trying to save her. And unlike with Claudia, it doesn’t come at anyone else’s expense--just, potentially, himself. 

Before that, he puts himself between Zym/Rayla and scores of enhanced soldiers. He risks his life just to protect them. Before that, he crushes a moon opal to learn the truth about Rayla’s parents, so she can feel free to make her own choice (and this was the epitome of selflessness; he didn’t attempt to convince her to leave with them. If she wanted to stay, fight and die, Callum was willing to accept that. Think about that when you say that every primal spell in the show is somehow selfish).

And before that, he uses Fulminis to get Ibis’s attention so he could learn magic...so that he could protect Zym and his friends from Viren’s army. Throughout all of Season 3, Callum does magic primarily to help others and never just for himself. It doesn’t come at the expense of anyone else’s life or anyone’s agency. That’s the difference between Callum and Claudia--to reduce all of that to just “well any choice is selfish when you think about it” is just pure nihilism.

[artificialqueens]

Worlds Collide, Chapter 4 (Biangela) - Albatross

AN: it’s finally back! so originally this was going to be the biadore chapter but as you can see, it got long. now it’s biangela and biadore will be focused on in the next installment. and thank you to @veronicasanders and @maeveofhearts for offering feedback. i’m sorry i didn’t change more of the story based on that but i just want this chapter gone at this point.

To say Bianca Del Rio was a mystery to her classmates was a bit of an understatement.

Yes, many of them knew who she was, but precious few could say they actually knew her…and even less could tell you what her powers were.

Not that it was really a secret as far as Bianca was concerned. They didn’t ask and she didn’t feel the need to tell. Her powers were passive after all so there wasn’t really much to boast about. They were useful but it was easy to get overwhelmed by them if she wasn’t careful.

The school was well aware of her ability to enter other’s minds and took the necessary precautions to prevent her from cheating on exams. They always separated her from the rest of her classmates on testing days and placed her in a room well beyond what they expected the range of her powers to be. It was fairly well thought out, though a bit basic, she had to admit. One thing they had not counted on, however, was for Bianca to use her powers on herself.

She understood very early on that she could dive deep into her own memory and pull out mental images as though she had been staring at them only a second ago. Using this method, she would review her notes and textbooks during the exam and receive near perfect scores every time. Of course this plan required her to pay attention in class and take down meticulous notes but it was a small price to pay for not having to study for hours on end. A simple glance through her notes and textbook right before class and she’d be ready to ace any question thrown her way.

Most teachers were a bit suspicious of how her grades were always so high but when they could find no evidence of cheating, they had to let it go. And soon enough her scores were the talk of the school. Someone had even speculated that the reason she was placed in a separate room was so that no one could cheat off of her and rapidly, that rumor took off like wildfire. 

Not that Bianca had any inclination to dispel that particular misconception. She found she rather liked the attention after all. Especially when it put her in the eye of a certain classmate of hers.

She and Raja had arrived at the school at the same time so they had a passing familiarity with one another from orientation alone. It was nothing more than superficial as the pair got settled into their new lives on campus. Sure, they might’ve exchanged a few flirty comments here and there but Bianca hadn’t really thought much of it. Raja wasn’t the type she’d usually go for and the much taller girl was rather aloof so it was hard to get a good read on her personality. She never seemed to be too invested in one relationship over another, just floating back and forth between groups of friends without making a truly firm connection with any of them. Not that Bianca had much to say on that subject either.  After all, she didn’t feel the need to commit herself to any particular group just yet either. She too drifted among a few of her closer friends but kept most private thoughts, well…private.

It was only when Raja started showing a particular interest in her that she began letting down some of those walls.

She seemed to be genuinely impressed by Bianca’s grades, marvelling once again at the latest 99% glaring at the top of the first page. This particular exam was no joke either; seven pages front to back and three essay questions. A few students had complained afterwards that there just wasn’t enough time to complete everything so they either BS'ed their way through the open ended questions or just guessed at a number of the multiple choice ones. Even Raja had only managed a score in the lower 90’s…

Bianca was about to tuck away the test into one of her binders and forget about it but a question from Raja made her stop in her tracks. It was a simple question, nothing too out of the ordinary, only “Maybe you could help me study sometime?”

The look on Raja’s face however told a different story. It was that same flirty smile she’d seen on her friend a number of times before, though in this instance it looked perhaps a bit more serious, more genuine. Her eyes darted not so subtly to Bianca’s lips but her voice remained airy and light. It was just enough to make Bianca a tad cautious that she might be reading too much into the situation.

A considering smirk of her own spread across her lips as she looked Raja up and down before replying back smoothly, “Maybe…My room or yours?”

Now the ball was in Raja’s court. Depending on her answer, Bianca would likely have hers. But without even missing a beat, and even looking a bit like the cat that had caught the mouse, Raja shot back, “Well, you live alone don’t you? It’d make more sense to do it there, don'tcha think?”

Bianca nodded, her eyes shining with a mischievous undertone as Raja reached over to run a lazy, almost inviting finger across Bianca’s wrist as she added, “What do you say? Up for it?”

She was all but challenging Bianca now and certainly Bianca wasn’t one to back down, not without a fight at least. But deciding to keep it coy, just for show at this point, she gave a vague half-hearted commitment of, “I might be…Why don’t you stop by tonight and we’ll see what happens. Room 304.”

“Don’t worry, I know,” Raja assured her as she withdrew looking rather pleased with herself.

It was certainly no secret which room was Bianca’s; a corner space by herself which was almost unheard of for a first year student. The school had agreed to allow her to live alone for the sake of her powers but as was typical, the allowance earned her the jealousy of the others living in the dorms, especially those that did not get along with their roommates. Michelle was very intent on pairing new students with more senior ones in the hopes of fostering relationships and knowledge sharing between those with similar powers. It worked in some cases, not all, but it was a decent plan. This usually was more successful with elemental powers. Raja herself had picked up a few tricks from her roommate…It’ll be sad when she leaves, they really did click after all, but that was the design of the school; once the senior students were ready to move out, to higher education or otherwise, the newest batch of arrivals would take their place in the empty dorm rooms and the cycle would begin again.

But for now and the foreseeable future, Bianca lived alone and that was how she liked it. Especially if it meant she could hook up without the worry of a roommate barging in.

And true to her word, Raja did show up outside her door that night wearing precious little other than a camisole, shorts and a flirty smile.

“What? No books?” Bianca asked as a smirk of her own grew across her lips.

Raja just threw her head back and laughed out “Shut up!” before inviting herself into the room. Beyond that there was little more talking before the two fell into bed and spent the rest of the night together.

If there was one thing Bianca appreciated the most out of this encounter, it was that there was no expectation for anything deeper. Admittedly there had been a part of her that was concerned with that thought, so as Raja slept, Bianca slipped her way into her partner’s mind to uncover the truth. To her relief, all she discovered was that Raja, like her, was just looking for some fun; something that will remain casual and hopefully constant. Though Bianca was tempted to dive a little further into the depth of Raja’s thoughts, she pulled herself away and allowed her own sleepy mind to drift off into unconsciousness.

Soon enough this behavior became a predictable pattern; the pair finding themselves drawn back together for another night of casual sex. It helped that it was just so easy to be around each other otherwise. They got along well, but then again, who didn’t get along with Raja? She was so relaxed and carefree, offering meaningful insight to a number of topics and easily bringing a smile to Bianca’s face.

It was all just…comfortable. It was a fun little break from the monotony of school life.

But of course in just a few months there came another batch of new students. Bianca hadn’t paid much attention when the last batch had arrived. Sure, she made friends with some of them but this time it was different. Bianca, however, hadn’t realized how different until it was much too late. The two standouts, at least to Bianca and Raja, were a plant elemental and earth elemental, respectively. Shangela and Raven, as they found out later. How Raven and Raja first met was unknown. Whether it was randomly in the hall or during a shared class, Bianca never really found out. All she knew was that at some point she was introduced to Raven and then she hardly ever left their group.

It was fine though, she was interesting enough. Her wit was much like Bianca’s so there was some common ground they could agree on. Her attitude at first was a bit guarded but after she warmed up, Bianca found she actually did like her. She thought little of her addition to their group.

Shangela, however, was another matter.

She never really joined that group of Bianca’s friends, she actually managed to find her own almost right away. It was weeks before Bianca even knew she existed and it was only by a chance encounter that they met. 

It had been a relatively warm day around midsummer when Bianca opted to walk by the school’s greenhouse. There had never been much foot traffic around that area yet today it seemed to be the busiest spot on campus. Miscellaneous boxes were lined up along the exterior of the building, dead and withered plants pushed off to the side and out of the way while newer, livelier looking ones were being moved closer to the door.

A number of students were running around the outside either laying out tools and supplies or carting around another pile of dead plants or broken equipment. It was fascinating to stumble upon, like a bunch of busy bees working to build their hive. Bianca found herself stopping to watch them all for a moment and in a couple ways that turned out to be quite a mistake for her.

She’d only been there for maybe five minutes before some giant box with scrawny arms and legs was run right into her.

“Watch it!” she barked out in mild irritation. It wasn’t like she had stopped right in the middle of all the commotion afterall. There was hardly a reason to think she’d be run into out here on the outskirts.

“Oh, sorry, baby,” came the apologetic voice from behind the box, “Can’t see where I’m going with this stupid thing!”

The voice sounded pleasant enough and after another look it did seem like they were struggling a bit to keep a grip on the box. Bianca couldn’t even make out a face yet but she’d bet anything the girl on the other side of the cardboard was sweaty and exhausted.

Almost like a reflex, Bianca’s hands were wrapped around the bottom edge of the box to help steady the tilting contents. As soon as the other girl realized the change in weight, she let out a heavily relieved statement of, “Oh, thank you!”

The corners of Bianca’s lips turned up just slightly as she asked where they were going with this rather heavy box. “By the shed, I think. I’ve got no clue what’s even in here but it sounds like more tools.”

“Right,” Bianca agreed in a slow, drawn out voice, “But…where is the shed?”

She hadn’t seen any earlier unless she’d totally missed it.

“Right around the other side of the greenhouse, baby. Haven’t you gone out there yet?”

Walking slowly to keep her footing steady on the slight incline towards the shed in question, Bianca replied somewhat distractedly that no, she hadn’t seen the shed before. After all, she noted to herself, there wasn’t exactly a walking trail that went past it as far as she knew. But the other girl wasn’t at all bothered by it. She noted quite happily that once they turned the corner it’ll stick right out and true to her word, it really had.

It was a makeshift little thing, stuck along the shady back wall of the greenhouse and well out of sight. There barely seemed to be enough room for 3 people inside but really, how many actually need to be in there at once?

Very carefully, the two set the box beside a collection of other tools and small equipment and took their first look at one another. Bianca was surprised to find the owner of that voice to be so striking, enough to make her wonder how she’d possibly missed spotting her in the hallways for so long. The girl was sporting a mass of long, tightly curled, auburn hair carefully tinted with honey colored highlights and left loose to fall across her shoulders. But for all the work these plant elementals seemed to be doing today, it was a shock that someone with such long hair would not have bound it into a ponytail. But even the way a number of strands seemed to be stuck to the girl’s damp forehead didn’t seem to particularly bother her. In fact, right now, the only thing that did concern her was that she had absolutely no idea who this was that helped her.

Confused, she wiped off her hand on her clothes before extending it out and introducing herself, “Thanks. I’m Shangela, by the way. I don’t think we’ve met…have we?”

Shaking her head with a soft laugh, Bianca accepted the gesture and replied, “No, I’d definitely remember meeting a cute thing like you. I’m Bianca.”

A very light tint of color rose to her new acquaintence’s cheeks, one that didn’t seem to be solely connected to the heavy lifting she had been doing all day. Glancing around to find that no had joined them yet, Bianca took the opportunity to ask, “So what all’s going here? Spring cleaning or something?”

“Or something!” Shangela laughed in agreement as a million watt smile overtook her face, “You’re not one of us, are you? Plant elemental, I mean.”

“No, far from it,” Bianca confirmed with a grin and a slight shake to her head, “Passive power, actually.”

“Ahh, gotcha.”

“So all this, then?”

Still with her bright smile firmly in place, Shangela commented rather proudly, “We’re hauling out the old junk and bringing in some new equipment. Gonna turn this pile of trash into something nice, something we can actually work in.”

Casting her gaze back to the rickety shed and the piles of boxes and tools left lying around, Bianca let out a slightly disbelieving laugh. She cocked her head to the side and asked with a playful, teasing tone coloring her voice, “And you’re leading the charge?”

“Sure am, baby girl!” Shangela retorted as her smile morphed into a confident, cocky little grin. “Gonna turn this place around, just you wait! You come back next week and you won’t recognize the place, I guarantee it!”

Something about Shangela’s attitude sparked a certain sense of admiration from Bianca. Just by that last statement alone, Bianca could tell this girl was proud, headstrong, and certainly motivated. Perhaps even enough to really make good on that promise…

Either way, that invitation was certainly too good to pass up, especially if it gave her an excuse to come see Shangela again. So with her flirty little undertone making another appearance, she replied back, “Might just take you up on that, you know,” and prepared to walk away having gotten in the last word.

However, before she’d even taken a step back towards the walking path, Shangela slid in one last sly remark; “I’m hoping you do.”

Oh, this was gonna be the start of a beautiful friendship.

*******

True to her word, Bianca stopped in late the following week to survey all that Shangela and the other plant elementals had accomplished together. In truth, she actually stopped by twice but upon finding Shangela absent during her first trip, she resolved to try again once more and thankfully, luck was on her side.

Classes had ended almost half an hour ago and after shooting the breeze with Raja as she smoked behind the gym, Bianca was ready to trek back across campus to the greenhouse. A little jolt resonated in the pit of her stomach as she spotted a familiar mess of curly hair go waltzing into the greenhouse. From the moment Bianca stepped inside and was greeted with that same smile that seemed to radiate sunshine, she was hooked.

Shangela was easy to get along with; loud at times but certainly funny and open. A bit like Raja actually and perhaps that was why Bianca was so drawn to her. Shangela could keep up with her snark, slip in some of her own, and never let that smile of hers leave her face. She reciprocated most of Bianca’s flirting, enough so that it became almost traditional that nearly half of their conversations with each other consisted solely of pushing the boundaries with suggestive comments. 

The key difference between Shangela and Raja though was that unlike Raja, Shangela never made a move to pursue anything further with their relationship. She always kept her hands to herself, aside from a hug or casual kiss to the cheek, and that left Bianca wondering a bit at times. Shangela didn’t seem to mind too much when Bianca’s own fingers would dance along her skin…but she never encouraged it either. She just acted neutral about it at best.

It was all very…confusing.

Bianca did question it from time to time but never put too much stock in the answer. She was just enjoying her emotional relationship with Shangela and of course, her physical one with Raja. But after a few months, things didn’t seem as idyllic anymore.

Something had changed.

Not just with her but also with Raja.

Sure, they still hooked up on a regular basis but something was just a little off. Neither of them seemed as invested in it as they had been…and Bianca had a suspicion as to why.

Much like she had been taken by Shangela, Raja had also become more focused on her newest friend; Raven. They were spending so much time together now that if Bianca were dating Raja or had some kind of emotional investment in her, she probably would have been jealous. It was easy to see they had become very close to one another and a short little sprint into both of their minds confirmed that there was some kind of underlying attraction.

With Raja, it was easy to pick up as soon as Bianca had entered her mind. The emotions attached to her memories were always so easy to sense. All she had to do was manipulate a recent memory of Raven to appear and almost instantaneously Bianca was struck with all of the affection Raja kept for the girl.

Raven was a bit more difficult to read, as Bianca had expected. Certain people, whether it was how they thought or how their personalities affected their memory or perceptions, tended to make it a challenge for Bianca to draw out any useful information. With Raven though, it was certainly her personality that was the predominant factor. Her memories at first glance, seemed to be just that; a basic recollection of events, nothing emotionally charged about them. Bianca might as well have just been watching what Raven ate for breakfast. 

But something was off about that.

You only had to see them interacting once to know Raven had some kind of connection with Raja, even if it were purely based on friendship.

And with a little digging, Bianca found her answer; the longer she kept the memory in the forefront of Raven’s mind, the more emotions came to light. It was like little pools at first, just bubbling up and then slowly spreading outward to flavor the entire memory. The first few to pop up were simple and ordinary; feelings of friendship and happiness and contentment.

But the longer Bianca let the memory replay over and over again, the more layers began to appear. Layers of much deeper, more complex emotions; closeness, admiration, anxiety…even a hint of fear or concern.

All of the emotions shaded the memory like an oil slick on water but confirmed that Raven felt just as strongly about Raja as vice versa. She simply spent a great deal more of her energy to hide it…even from herself.

But knowing that both of them were attracted to one another made Bianca’s decision that much easier. She needed to break things off with Raja. Even though their relationship was casual, easy, and so damn comfortable…it just wasn’t right to continue it.

So after their latest session, Bianca broached the subject with her usual bluntness, “Raven likes you, you know.”

A little huff of laughter emanated from the spent body beside her. Bianca could hear the smirk in Raja’s voice as she remarked, “I should hope so, considering we spend almost every day together.

“You know what I mean,” Bianca insisted as her eyes rolled expressively at the play at ignorance.

There was a moment’s pause, loaded and heavy as Raja remained silent and contemplative. Perhaps Bianca had judged the situation too quickly; she thought that Raja must have some inkling of Raven’s feelings but maybe she was wrong after all. It wasn’t like her friend to remain so musive…if she were avoiding a subject, she’d dance around it like no one’s business using every topic she could think of to guide the conversation away from herself yet right now…she was quiet.

It was strange, to be honest.

Bianca rolled further onto her side to better study Raja’s expression. She was pondering the information, running it over and over in her head, that much was clear. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth, a habit Bianca noticed whenever Raja was deep in thought and unaware of the world around her.

Bianca was beginning to second-guess her decision to spring all of this on Raja at once when finally there came a hesitant voice from her friend. A soft, cautious question of, “She does?”

“Yeah. And you like her.”

Another pause.

One where Raja seemed to contemplate lying…but that would do no good and she knew it.

She couldn’t hide anything from Bianca, she knew that well enough by now.

Instead, she just confirmed the statement with a simple nod of her head.

It was a relief to Bianca that Raja wasn’t trying to deny that accusation. But she had to admit it didn’t make the situation feel any less awkward now that it had begun. In a way she almost wished she hadn’t brought it up but they’re already here so might as well go the rest of the distance. It’s what was best for all of them, Bianca reminded herself, even if it hurts a bit right now.

“Why not try this ,” Bianca suggested with flimsy hand motioning at the space between them, “with her?”

A soft, reluctant sigh escaped from Raja’s lips as her shoulders sunk into the bedspread. Her voice sounded as though this was something she’d repeated quite often, though most likely only to herself, “It’s not quite the same…Things are more complicated with her…”

Shifting around to look back at Bianca, a raw, vulnerable pain she hardly ever shared was present in her eyes as she spoke, “I don’t…I don’t want to risk losing our friendship, you know? That’s the best part of knowing her. I mean, you’re great too,” she added with an appeasing smile, “but I’ve never really met someone that just gets me like her. I don’t wanna mess that up.”

The sudden onslaught of emotion caught Bianca by surprise, though if she were honest, she should have expected it. Nevertheless it was uncomfortable, enough to make her want to squirm away from Raja’s gaze out of sheer embarrassment. So of course, the most logical reaction for Bianca was to simply avert her eyes and scoff, “So even though I’m telling you for certain that she likes you, you’re not gonna push it or question it? Just pretend it doesn’t change things?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Raja admitted as her voice dipped low into a realm of sudden melancholy.

This whole conversation was so much more painful and complicated and annoying than Bianca had realized it would be. She just wanted to sink into the mattress and pretend this can of worms had never been opened; that she wasn’t laying here with a very naked, very vulnerable Raja pouring her heart out and expecting an actual viable answer. Yet even though this sort of heart to heart made her skin crawl, Bianca still tried her best to soothe Raja’s fears as best she could, “I think…she’s probably worried about the same things as you, if that helps at all.”

A noise of understanding filled the room but it was far from a guarantee that Raja would ever discuss this topic with Raven. Even though it seemed so straightforward on paper, emotions can still easily turn the simplest situations into a tangled mess. But there was a small glimmer of hope as Raja asked carefully, “Should we…stop this then?”

Nodding her head, Bianca agreed, “Probably be for the best.”

A bittersweet smile stretched across Raja’s lips as she admitted, “I’m gonna miss this. It was fun and-”

“Easy?”

“Yes!” she agreed wholeheartedly. 

And Bianca understood that sentiment all too well. But this was for the best, she reminded herself, but she’d allow her walls to break down just for a moment as she confessed, “I will, too.”

She expected the conversation to shift there, to turn into something else, something more lighthearted but to her surprise, Raja carefully reached over to run a gentle hand across Bianca’s exposed arm and inquired, “Are you going to be okay, though?” 

“Of course,” Bianca laughed, perhaps a little too loudly, “Why wouldn’t I be? Listen, I can find someone else.”

“Maybe Shangela?” Raja prompted with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

A faint heat began to rise to her cheeks but Bianca was determined to ignore that as she scoffed, “Why her?”

A smile of disbelief appeared on Raja’s face as she stared down at her former partner and informed her quite confidently, “B…I’ve seen you two together. You both have it so bad …Why don’t you pursue that?”

A small growl of irritation reverberated in Bianca’s throat. This wasn’t anything she expected to ever talk about with Raja, or anyone else for that matter. Her relationship with Shangela, whatever it was, didn’t need any outside speculation, at least not right now but it seems Raja was intent on making Bianca’s love affairs a topic for today too. In a cosmic sense it was fair…though Bianca would argue it was anything but.

Shifting around on the bed in discomfort, she found herself muttering, “I mean…I don’t think we’d…”

“You don’t want to ask her for the same reason I don’t wanna ask Raven, huh?” Raja accused lightly, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from Bianca’s mouth.

Catching on to Raja’s game, Bianca found herself reluctantly admitting, “Guess so, bitch. Birds of a feather, huh?”

“Definitely,” she agreed with her usual playful overtone back in her voice once again. “But think about it. If you wait too long, you might miss your chance…and so could I,” she added with a shrug of her shoulders.

Rolling her eyes, Bianca begrudgingly relented, “I’ll think about it.”

Accepting the unwilling promise, Raja let that particular side of the conversation drop for the time being. In the future they might need to talk about it again but for now, they both had plenty to think about, especially since their free time just became a lot more open to potential new activities.

“I really am going to miss this,” Raja declared with an air of sadness as she played with a loose strand of Bianca’s hair. This really had been so comfortable and convenient…it was a shame it had to end. 

Bianca certainly felt a similar sentiment as she suggested with a devilish smirk beginning to spread across her lips, “Me too…but we still have time for a few more rounds tonight.”

“We sure do,” came the immediate and enthusiastic reply.

******

That was their last night together but not the last time either of them thought about it. Some days they considered rekindling the physical aspect because after all, there were no strings attached and it was such a fun distraction…but then other days they thought about their conversation. Bianca in particular thought about what Raja had said regarding Shangela’s feelings. Very easily she could just wander into Shangela’s mind and confirm the information but something about that just felt very…wrong. Like she’d be crossing a line that she’d never thought about before.

Certainly Bianca had no issue with pursuing that action with others, she’d done it with Raja after all but this felt strangely intimate and private. Perhaps she could just ask Shangela…

Or not.

That would certainly raise questions she’d rather not answer.

So it seems that if she wanted to know for certain, and without the unpleasantness of awkward conversations, she might just have to look around Shangela’s mind, at least for a little bit. It’s not like it was hard to find a chance to do so. They spent a number of their afternoons and nights together, whether it’d be in the greenhouse or in one of their rooms. But Bianca kept putting it off for as long as she could. She was afraid of what the answer might be…and how it might change things.

Then one lazy afternoon, the opportunity was too good to pass up. They were watching the TV in the common room, just them and maybe 3 other people throughout the space either studying or chatting away. Shangela’s attention was starting to drift off as she slumped into Bianca’s side and it’d be all too easy to traverse the recesses of her mind. So very tentatively, Bianca pushed her way inside the mindspace and began to explore the new territory she had found.

It was all so…confounding.

Everything looked chaotic at first glance but then as you looked closer, it was so organized . Memories were all connected by various threads of emotion, almost like a spider web. Some strands were thick and study, others flimsy and faint. But there was not a single memory to be seen that wasn’t connected somehow with another. And as to what the threads would show, Bianca had a pretty good guess. Testing her theory, she reached out to touch one at random. It was of average size compared to others, extending from the current memory of watching TV to another more distant memory somewhere else in recess of Shangela’s mind. But the instant Bianca made contact with the strand, a single, clear emotion emanated through her body. 

It was contentedness.

Shangela didn’t feel strongly about the program one way or the other; she didn’t particularly like or dislike it but she was content to continue watching it.

Following the thread out a ways, Bianca found another memory it was connected to and from there yet another. All of them were of mundane activities, nothing particularly interesting but still connected by the same emotion. Now having a better understanding of how Shangela’s mind worked, Bianca returned to the original memory and began her search for the one piece of information she was so desperate to find.

From that base memory, it was easy to manipulate it into showing scenes of her and Shangela together. From there things grew more interesting; some of the previous strands had faded and others appeared in their place. A number of them were quite thick but there were several thin remnants that almost appeared to be there as afterthoughts. Ignoring those for now, Bianca focused on those heavy strands.

The first she investigated was happiness and of course, found it connected to similar memories. The more recent ones heavily featured Bianca but going back even more distant, she found family and other friends linked by this thread as well.

The second strand felt like pure nerves. One that made Bianca’s stomach queasy and upset. It attached itself to other memories associated with anxiety, such as waiting for an important grade or trying to grow a tricky plant for the first time. But it made Bianca realize that sometimes, even if she never showed it, Shangela was a bit nervous around her. For what reason, Bianca could only speculate right now. 

Another strand, though a bit thinner, seemed to be admiration, much in the way Shangela would look up to someone with more experience. This one was linked with memories of other successful plant elementals she had met since moving here. There were even a few scenes of one or two of them taking her under their wing and showing her how to best control her powers or supplementing her efforts with their own in order to produce a result that was far more impressive.

Nearby lay yet another strand, one with an emotion that was difficult to pin down. Bianca didn’t understand what she was feeling at first when she touched it but the memories that were associated with it helped things become a little clearer. It was often images of Shangela reading something interesting or watching an unusual seed grow into a new and strange plant. But there were other scenes too, such as overhearing part of conversation and longing to know the context. It was then that Bianca realized what she was experiencing; pure and simple curiosity.

Wanting to know the unknown.

It was not a feeling she was familiar with, at least not for very long. If she ever wanted to know something, more often than not she had the means to learn it through the use of her powers. But it made quite a difference to be experiencing this curiosity on a scale such as Shangela’s.

Then, as Bianca moved around some other threads, she found the largest one very well-hidden amongst them. It almost didn’t even seem to be fully there, at least not at first. She second-guessed if she had even truly seen it or just imagined it but a closer look confirmed it was in fact there. It flickered away for a moment and it was then Bianca realized that even despite the size of this thread, Shangela was doing her best to ignore it…yet still, it persisted and refused to disappear for very long.

Nervously, she reached out to touch it, to see just what it was that Shangela was trying to deny about herself. She had no clue what she expected to find at the end of this thread but the answer was truly surprising. Only a few related memories existed in Shangela’s mind so it must have been something quite uncommon for her…but the second Bianca had made contact, she realized immediately exactly what the emotion was.

It was attraction in its most basic form; a strong desire to be with someone, an unexplainable feeling of being drawn to them and wanting to spend time with them. It was powerful and almost overwhelming, so much that it was of little surprise that Shangela wanted to keep it buried away. And by investigating the strand further, Bianca found that only two people have ever made her feel this way. One even seemed to be relatively recent, perhaps even from only a year or so ago but certainly before Shangela had moved to the school. The scenery depicted in the memories looked to be of another town, certainly not the campus nor the nearby city that students would occasionally frequent.

But that was not Bianca’s concern.

She was confident she had her answer now. Sure, there were a number of other threads still laying about but they were small. Flimsy and hardly warranted any further investigation. Bianca was certain she had found all that she was looking for and feeling rather satisfied with herself, she exited Shangela’s mindscape with the other girl being none the wiser.

But still, Bianca couldn’t help the fond grin that had spread across her lips, nor deny the warm feeling spreading through her chest.

Shangela was still laying against her, watching the TV with a vaguely amused but mostly bored expression, yet something seemed different. Almost like there were hidden depths that Bianca was just now noticing.

So daring to take a chance, she slipped an arm around Shangela’s waist and pulled her in even closer. Neither spoke a word about it but the immediate compliance of her body, followed by the undeniably relaxed posture and contented grin, assured Bianca that she had made the right move. 

She reveled in the knowledge that Shangela returned her affections. She was more subtle about it than Bianca would have guessed, but that’s okay. They didn’t need to rush things. Bianca was all too happy to take things slow until Shangela felt more comfortable. The last thing she wanted was to push her too quickly and risk ruining a relationship before it truly started. But one thing Bianca decided for herself was that she was not going to play passive anymore. She was going to show Shangela that they shared the same attraction and with any luck, it might just help Shangela break from her worries and be willing to take a chance on starting a relationship together.

******

Weeks passed and the pair grew even closer, yet Bianca still felt that they were hardly any closer to dating than they had been when she entered Shangela’s mind. She was sure she was being obvious about her feelings, doing everything short of announcing them to the world, but almost every time Shangela had a chance to confront her, she balked. She played dumb or just ignored whatever gesture Bianca had concocted.

Whenever Bianca would try to hold her hand, either alone or in public, Shangela simply acted as though it were nothing special. Flirty comments were met with a roll of the eyes or a coy, cool rebuttal. And gifts, though appreciated, did not seem to get the hidden meaning across. Even when Bianca attempted to lean in for a kiss to the cheek, Shangela simply just laughed the gesture off and playfully pushed her away.

It was confusing and frustrating but Bianca was determined not to give in. The chase was a bit more fun than she expected and the payoff would certainly be worth it. But still, she couldn’t help but wonder from time to time…

Was she wrong?

Had she not interpreted Shangela’s emotions correctly or even skewed them to match what she wanted to find?

No.

She was certain she was right but something, something more was holding Shangela back. She just didn’t know what. At least not yet. And she was far from done trying. It’s not as though she had a time limit or anything. She firmly believed that before long something would happen and they would finally get together so until then, she just had to be determined and continue to assure Shangela that her feelings were returned.

Maybe, even after all this time, Shangela just couldn’t let herself believe that Bianca shared the same affection?

In that case, Bianca would just have to remain steadfast until she understood. And then everything would fall into place.

*******

Before long, the seasons changed once again and a new class of students began moving into the dormitories. Bianca hardly took notice at first, seeing as she had no risk of acquiring a roommate, but as she tried to navigate the halls and found them cluttered with numerous bodies and belongings, it was hard to ignore. Weaving her way through the chaos, she found herself en route to Shangela’s room only to discover the door open and Shangela nowhere in sight.

Instead, a busy little blonde was bouncing around the room, arranging and rearranging everything into what looked like nothing but an organized mess. She was so distracted she hadn’t even noticed Bianca standing in the doorway, much less now beginning to walk in. Faintly, Bianca could hear the girl humming a soft tune as she worked and a small smile began to stretch across her lips.

Then, before Bianca could even properly announce herself, the girl spun around, glanced up, and jumped a little in shock as she saw another body standing in her doorway. Bianca’s smile shifted into a slight smirk as she inquired, “Hey, cutie, you seen Shangie around?”

She was met with silence as the girl floundered for an answer. Perhaps Shangela had gone out before they had a chance to meet. Trying again, Bianca took another step inside and teased, “You know, Shangela, your roommate ? You have met her, right?”

There was a slow nod of confirmation but aside from that, the girl remained silent.

Finding herself a tad amused by the behavior, Bianca couldn’t stop her smirk from widening as she asked, “What’s the matter, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?”

“No!” came the indignant, slightly high-pitched rebuttal.

“Then do you know where she is?” Bianca pressed, taking another couple of steps into the room until they were only a few feet apart. “Come on, doll face, I’m not gonna bite.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed as she all but huffed at the treatment. But as she opened her mouth for some sort of remark, something in the hallway caught her eye and a look of smugness quickly spread across her face. Bianca arched a brow at the sudden change in attitude but before she could question it, she found a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and a lighthearted voice echoing in her ear, “Harassing my new roommate already?”

Trying and failing to stop a wide grin from appearing on her lips, Bianca offered a flimsy, airy excuse of, “Course not, I was just getting to know her. You know how I am.”

“I do, ho,” came the playful reply as the arms around Bianca’s waist disappeared, “So don’t go scaring her off before classes even start.”

Bianca was quick to turn around and offer a charming smile as she replied all too sweetly, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Mh-mm,” came the disbelieving reply. 

But despite Shangela’s attempt to play everything off as merely a joke, Bianca couldn’t help but notice something unusual in Shangela’s expression. A sort of stony look in her eyes that seemed very uncharacteristic for her. Though she was still smiling, none of that reached her eyes, not even a trace. She looked disapproving to Bianca’s mind…perhaps even…jealous.

Bianca’s heart fluttered in her chest at the thought. Though it wasn’t the vocal confirmation of Shangela’s affections that she was looking for, it still was something . Maybe she was closer to getting Shangela to admit her feelings than she thought.

And all things considered…it was kinda cute that she could be jealous. At least in Bianca’s opinion.

In the end, it only took a few short moments for Bianca’s smile to break through that momentary defense and win Shangela over once more. Before she knew it, that bright, beaming grin she loved was back on Shangela’s face and any previous discontent seemed to have disappeared from existence.

Taking the opening, Bianca properly introduced herself to Shangela’s new roommate.

“Courtney,” the girl replied, tentatively accepting the hand extended out to her.

Formalities out of the way, Bianca turned her attention back to Shangela and asked if she wanted to join her lunch. “Absolutely,” she chirped back.

As the two prepared to set out to the dining hall, Courtney called out brightly, “Mind if I follow you? I’m a bit hungry after all that unpacking.”

“Of course, doll face. More the merrier,” came the immediate response from Bianca. It was common courtesy after all, especially for a new student, yet as the trio departed, Bianca couldn’t help but notice another brief stony look passing over Shangela’s face. Though she happily accepted Courtney’s presence, chatting cheerfully with her the entire way, that one second of jealousy flaring up again had Bianca’s heart racing. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling the entire walk over, though precious little of it had to do with the conversation at hand. 

While they ate their meal and gossiped about life on campus, Bianca thought to herself, ‘Perhaps I really am getting through to her.’

*******

The rest of the day was filled with lazy chatter as the girls returned back to Shangela and Courtney’s room. The three got along easily and there was no lack of topics to discuss. As Courtney finished the last of her unpacking and Bianca excused herself for the night, the trio exchanged a promise to meet up tomorrow for a tour of the campus. There were a number of places to show her before classes started again the following week and Bianca was all too happy to tag along with Shangela, and of course her new friend, as they walked around the bright and bustling campus. But perhaps her favorite part of the excursion was when they finally made it to the school’s greenhouse. The proud smile on Shangela’s face as she showed off her work was like nothing Bianca had ever seen before.

Just something about seeing her totally immersed in her element brought out a hidden beauty that Bianca felt more than privileged to witness. It was a sight she’d want to remember for the rest of her life.

And one look at Courtney upon entering the greenhouse for the first time, assured Bianca that she was just as passionate about her power as Shangela. She immediately ran over to investigate all of the unusual plants but she didn’t quite dare touch them…at least not yet.

It was like a new wave of energy filled the two of them as they basked in all the greenhouse had to offer.

But the most memorable part of their visit, at least for Bianca, was when Shangela’s hand captured her own as they watched Courtney exploring the grounds. A sense of relaxation like she’d never experienced before washed over her and an exuberant grin could barely be contained on her lips.

The rest of the week sped by in a blissful blur with Bianca replaying that moment on an endless loop. There was only one more day left before classes would begin and of course the three intended to spend it together. It was as they waited for the dining hall to open for lunch that Bianca and Shangela took the opportunity to lecture Courtney on what to expect with her classes. They warned her of what teachers to avoid if possible and what classes were an absolute ‘must’ to take. They caught her up on some of the latest gossip, student-related or otherwise. But perhaps the most valuable insight into her future campus life was provided by Shangela.

As plant elementals, she and others like her were responsible for taking care of the school grounds. Mostly this just involved regrowing the grass after sparring matches or during certain lessons related to portal studies. As a mandatory part of the curriculum, Courtney was told, every student is required to take classes in both portal theory and practical lab work, with the latter focusing on how to open and close portals. Though the staff did their best to monitor student’s work as they mixed the powders and potions, inevitably there were bound to be a few mishaps. Often this resulted in a small explosion or fire, so this part of the lab work was conducted outside in the warmer months. And in order to keep the school grounds looking lush and healthy, the plant elementals were called on to repair the damage at once.

“And this one fool tried mixing everything together all at once,” Shangela explained through a fit of laughter, “but he didn’t even get the measurements right! He scorched the field till there was nothing left but ash!”

At this point, the other girls were laughing along, particularly Bianca as she recalled seeing that student the next day with most of his eyebrows missing. Shangela had to stop herself as she caught her breath and struggled to regain control of her cracking voice. Her sides ached from the laughter and the only way she could keep herself upright was by leaning heavily into Bianca. Finally after finding some ounce of restraint, Shangela concluded the story with, “We ended up working for hours to get that grass looking right again. Even now you can still see a patch where the color’s a bit off.”

“Oh my god,” Courtney chuckled, “What the hell was he thinking?”

“I don’t know, girl,” Shangela replied with a shake of her head, “but I’ll bet he’ll never try that shit again!”

Scoffing, Bianca added in, “I’d hope not. Took him weeks to grow his eyebrows back. And the teachers still talk about that fuck up in all of their classes!”

“They sure do,” Shangela agreed, smile still ever present on her lips. In a softer tone now that things had quieted down, she addressed Courtney once more, “But seriously, though, that’s how you’ll be doing a lot of your practical work round here. There’s other things you can do on your own in the greenhouse but as far as Ru and Michelle are concerned; we’re the landscapers.” Her voice held a tint of sadness, one that suggested that she’d love to be able to do more but as Bianca knew all too well; the school’s staff loved to keep the students on relatively tight leash. After all, they had to manage a bunch of superpowered teens and keeping them all under control, however little there might be, was no easy task. Especially as they bring in new students twice a year, which is more than most other schools could boast.

“There’s really nothing else they allow us to do?” Courtney complained.

“Well…not exactly ‘allowed’,” Shangela conceded, picking at her nails. “They just don’t really know what to do with us, I think. I mean, most of our samples in the greenhouse are donated. Even the ones that don’t come from another world. Finding something new to study is kinda rare here…but maybe we can change that. Michelle can be pretty open minded given a good reason…who knows?”

She offered a consoling smile to her roommate but even Courtney could see she didn’t entirely believe her own words. She had hopes of coming here and becoming truly immersed in study and experimentation with other plant elementals…not being reduced to just a gardener. If that was all she had to look forward to, how was this place any different than what she left back home? The only response she could give on this subject was a murmur of discontent, “Mmm.”

Trying to brighten the mood once again, Shangela slapped on another bright grin and advised her, “Don’t worry. You’ll find something, sooner or later. Everyone does.”

Skeptical, Courtney glanced over to Bianca and inquired, “B?”

Shrugging her shoulders, Bianca let out a noise of moderate agreement, “Ehh…probably.”

Almost immediately, she felt Shangela’s elbow jabbing her in her side and a mildly scolding look present on her face. “What?” she argued, rubbing at the area that had just been poked, “Should I lie?”

“Yes!”

The pair spiraled into a round of bickering as Courtney sat back on her bed and watched in amusement. Bianca wholeheartedly defended her position of telling the truth while Shangela accused her of just being lazy and cynical. About two minutes into their debate (showing no signs of stopping), Courtney heard a knock on the door. Likely just a neighbor asking them to keep it down, she figured, and slid off the bed to handle the situation.

Bianca watched from the corner of her eye but the vast majority of her attention was on Shangela’s animated arguing. There was something oddly enjoyable about getting her riled up, especially given how infrequently it seemed to happen. Very little of her wanted to end the discussion so soon but Courtney’s voice cut past theirs as she called out, “Shange?”

Halting their argument for the time being, Shangela turned around towards the door and within moments a startled gasp passed her lips. Standing just beyond Courtney was a nervous brunette Bianca had never seen before, at least as far as she could recall. She figured it was likely a new student but before her mind could wander too far, the unknown visitor spoke softly, “Hey, girl…”

A squeal echoed through the room as a wide, toothy grin overtook Shangela’s face. She barely seemed able to contain herself as she rushed over and yelled out in excitement, “Alyssa?!? Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re here! What happened?”

“Powers came in. Ganja’s too-” It felt like the world slipped into a fog as Bianca struggled to pay attention to what was being said only a few feet away from her. A possessive knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she watched Shangela so blatantly fawn over this stranger in her doorway. Clearly they knew each other somehow but for the life of her, she never once heard Shangela mention anyone named Alyssa. 

Yet something about the girl seemed familiar…like she’d seen her somewhere else before…Maybe a photo at some point?

Shangela did love to display pictures around her room but there was no way to subtly look at all of them right now. Instead, Bianca forced herself to walk over in an attempt to snap herself back to reality. It seemed like she was just a second away from standing at Shangela’s side before the girl in question gave in to a long suppressed desire to reach out and hug her friend.

Alyssa spotted the action right away and a worried look flashed across her face. Immediately she was blurting out, “Oh, wait! Don’t-” but it was too late.

The second Shangela’s skin brushed against Alyssa’s, a visible jolt of electricity sparked up between them and fizzled out a moment later. Shangela’s hand sharply recoiled back but whether or not it was actually painful or simply a surprise was left open for debate. Regardless, she was startled by the events and didn’t quite know what to make of it.

A sick twisted feeling of satisfaction ran through Bianca but she tried her hardest to ignore it, at least for now. She knew all too well what it meant and a small part of her hated herself for being that petty and jealous over her friend.

“Sorry…” Alyssa spoke regretfully, “Should have told you sooner…I can’t really touch anyone right now.”

A wave of sympathy washed over Shangela and Courtney’s faces but only Bianca remained stony and blank in her expression. She eyed up the girl in front of her, clearly ashamed by something she couldn’t control and struggling to keep herself from backing away. Bianca wanted to feel empathy for her, wanted to feel some kind of way other than happy at the turn of events but no matter how hard she searched…she just couldn’t find any trace of those emotions…not for Alyssa.

Regardless, Shangela was clearly all too happy to see her friend and brushing aside that new revelation, she let out a soft sigh and told her genuinely, ”'Lyss…I’m so glad you’re here.” A smile found its way back to Alyssa’s lips and widened even further as she heard, “Come on in. And where’s Ganja?“

A laugh echoed in her voice as she gratefully accepted the subject change and replied back, “Girl, who knows? Bitch disappears every time you turn around.”

Bianca’s body felt like it had gone on autopilot as Alyssa entered the room and took a place next to Shangela on her bed. The conversation quickly turned into something more generic and soon Courtney was happily chirping away as she asked Alyssa a few questions of her own. Every so often Bianca would chime in as well but she felt oddly distracted by studying the pair in front of her. They sat close together, almost so that they were touching, but as a few stray fingers or brush of their thighs quickly confirmed; Alyssa’s powers were still very much in effect. Regardless of whatever shock she might receive, Shangela remained undeterred and sat faithfully by Alyssa’s side. It was all she could do not continue fawning and cooing over the girl that had now invaded their social group.

A heavy sense of mistrust and bitterness swept through Bianca’s core and try as she might, whether it be by simply trying to will away the feeling or rationalize it, Bianca just couldn’t get over herself. She wanted to be the one next to Shangela again. She wanted to be the one Shangela would throw herself at.

It wasn’t fair that after how hard Bianca had worked, some random girl who Shangela never mentioned , could just come in and undo all of that.

More than anything Bianca wanted to storm away. Just storm off and give herself time to think but pride held her in place. After all, they had plans together that day and she’d be damned before she gave those up. Even with Alyssa tagging along.

********

The coming days proved to be no better for Bianca’s temperament. If anything, it made things worse. Now, not only had Alyssa joined their group, but so had another girl; Laganja. This one was a terror all on her own. Bianca never bothered to try to learn her proper name. In fact, she wanted very little to do with this loud, obnoxious and over-the-top personality. But the sad fact was, she and Alyssa went almost hand in hand. Strange that Shangela got along so well with her.

But then again, now that Bianca had noticed, Shangela seemed to have gotten a bit more extroverted too, at least around these girls. Somehow they all seemed to click and bring out this bright and bubbly behavior in each other. More than Bianca had seen from Shangela before.

Sure, Shangela always looked happy around her, but that was in a more subdued, thoughtful manner. This was more in the way of a childlike, carefree kind of happy. One where nothing else matters in the world; all you needed was your friends and you could find some way to have a good time. It was almost…innocent.

It might even have been cute if not for the two people causing it.

But as Alyssa and Laganja made themselves more permanent in the group, Bianca couldn’t help but feel like she was slowly being pushed aside.

Though Shangela always made time for her, it just wasn’t the same as it had been only a few weeks ago. Her attention wasn’t as focused on Bianca as it had been prior to these new girls moving in. Even in the first few days of Alyssa’s arrival, Bianca’s casual flirting, especially if directed at Courtney, would still warrant a quick glance from Shangela…It never failed to capture her attention, even if just for a moment. That had given Bianca hope that this thing with Alyssa was just a novelty, just temporary.

But then after a few weeks went by, Shangela just stopped responding all together. True, Bianca might have engaged a little too frequently in these conversations with Courtney. Maybe in the hopes of getting some kind of notice out of Shangela. But it never meant anything to her. They never pursued it further, or even talked about it like it was a possibility! If anything, it was just second nature for them for them to flirt. Like a shared language.

But it always caught Shangela’s attention! Bianca could count on her listening in, even as she pretended she wasn’t. She’d watch the two from the corner of her eye, almost as if to reassure herself that nothing physical was taking place. It was like a routine, something Bianca could always count on and then Shangela just…stopped.

It was like she didn’t care anymore.

Maybe she finally understood that nothing would ever come out of it but deep down, Bianca had deeper fears regarding the change. She tried to bury that feeling, to tell herself she was just being paranoid, but very little helped to soothe her concerns.

It was like being punched in the gut, stabbed through the heart, and smacked upside the head all at once.

She simply just felt miserable and wanted to be alone, at least for a little while.

All she could think to do right now was find some kind of distraction. Maybe after a break, she could think about things differently…maybe Shangela would, too. But as she searched through club offerings one afternoon, she felt her heart sink even lower. Nothing seemed to interest her, she’d much rather spend her afternoons with Shangela and Courtney. All these extracurriculars being offered just seemed boring and flat in comparison.

The only one that even remotely caught her attention was the theater club. She didn’t have an interest in appearing on the stage but at least working behind the scenes was likely to keep her busy. And it would keep her well away from the greenhouse and the dormitories for now.

As soon as she joined, she was set to work fixing up some minor damages to the costumes. She found she actually rather enjoyed repairing them. There was something satisfying in making a tear completely disappear or reattaching some minor decoration so that the outfit looked brand new again. Before long, she was even able to assist in making the outfits from scratch. Sure, it took a bit longer that way but seeing an idea come to life from pencil and paper to a real life piece of clothing was incredible. It made her feel like she was actually doing something productive…

Of course, her powers did help quite a bit. Often, as she found out, the director or even the actor had some kind of idea of the outfit they wanted to see. But most often, they didn’t know how to explain or even draw it. So after a quick jaunt into their minds, Bianca could see just what it was that they wanted created. And with a few touches of her own, she was able to bring those ideas into reality. Soon, the cast and stage crew wanted to work exclusively with her, because she would always know exactly what they wanted, even if they never really understood how.

It was nice to feel wanted again. Hell, she’d even go so far as to say ‘needed’.

Every so often her mind would wander back to her friends, particularly after spending a few lunches on her own trying to finish up a new design, and she’d remember to make time for them as well. But after a few outings, she realized that more often than not, she was simply miserable as she left them. Particularly if Shangela and Alyssa happened to be in the group as well.

Seeing them together, as Bianca soon discovered, would often reopen those old wounds, ones she thought she was working past.

The first outing started off friendly enough; she’d hadn’t really hung out with them for almost two weeks and figured it was safe to try seeing them again. Surely by now they’d have settled into a comfortable routine and Shangela would be all too happy to see her again. Something about absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

But as they all hung out, just something casual in the common area of the dormitory, Bianca caught hints of a new development. It wasn’t obvious at first, she wasn’t even quite sure what was different…Then towards the end of the night, it hit her.

Shangela and Alyssa were sitting next to each other, that much wasn’t so strange now, but what was new was that they were actually touching one another!

It wasn’t very blatant or showy; just their legs knocking against the other person’s after a catty remark or their hands brushing past the other’s skin as they reached out for something…but beneath that, there was something more. A sort of hidden meaning loaded into each instance of the brief contact. Every so often they’d share a glance; one of shy pride and another of genuine encouragement and reassurance. It was small, probably unnoticed by everyone else, but Bianca saw.

She wondered what that meant for them…what it meant for her and Shangela.

She hadn’t entirely given up hope just yet.

The look of joy on Shangela’s face after such a long absence sent her heart into a frenzy. She’d almost forgotten how enamored she was with Shangela’s smile, especially when directed at her alone. It was almost enough to allow her to tolerate or even welcome Alyssa’s presence…at least until she took notice of that recent change. At the beginning of the night, it was almost like she was on a high and simply enjoyed spending time with Shangela and her friends once more but as they all departed for the evening; her mind was consumed by that revelation.

She replayed every little instance, very nearly obsessing over it and trying to interpret the meaning. But she always came up empty handed. For as much as she thought about it, she never really settled on an answer. 

The only thing she knew for certain was that she didn’t like it. Nor did she care for the way her stomach twisted in on itself long into the night.

But then again after another week and thinking she had finally worked past it, she tried hanging out with them once more. It proved to have no better results than before.

Slowly but surely with every visit, Alyssa and Shangela grew more comfortable letting their fingers glide over one another’s skin or leaning into one another as they watched TV on the couch. They would even hold hands beneath the table or behind their chairs until someone else noticed and they’d quickly separate.

That’s not to say Shangela was no longer physically affectionate towards Bianca…but that too had changed now that she had taken notice.

Shangela no longer made it a point to sit next to her. Hugs were brief and far more scattered. And tracing her fingers absently across Bianca’s arm or legs? Almost nonexistent at this point.

All of it left her feeling more and more miserable as the weeks went by until the final blow came almost a full six months since Alyssa’s arrival.

Quietly but confidently, they announced to their friends that they had officially begun dating. The news was met with excitement, even shock on Laganja’s part (not too surprising there) but as for Bianca? Her reaction held a sharp contrast.

Outwardly she offered a wide, if somewhat tense smile. She gave them her congratulations and listened patiently as others fawned over the girls. Inside however, she was seething.

She was angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than just to punch something! She wanted to march up to Shangela and demand an explanation. To hear straight from her mouth why she chose Alyssa over her. What Alyssa could offer that she couldn’t. And…why Shangela just gave up on her.

They’d been so close and Bianca knows Shangela felt the same as her!

But why hadn’t she made a move? Even when Bianca was sending out hints whenever she could?

What made Alyssa so special?

All of these questions and more flooded Bianca’s mind. Very little of whatever else happened that day stuck with her as she poured through every one of these thoughts. It gave her no peace, even as she buried herself in theater work, usually a faithful distraction.

For several days she continued on like this with her anger refusing to abate. Every time she thought about Shangela and Alyssa or godforbid, saw them, she felt a miserable hatred burning in her chest. 

Every so often she’d get so frustrated with herself that she’d abandoned whatever she was working on and sequester herself to her room. She made stupid mistakes while sewing or answered her homework completely incorrectly. Even attempts at using her powers during tests was not without its issues.

As she tried to search her mind for notes relating to the subject, she’d easily become distracted thinking about Shangela. It took all her strength to focus herself on the task at hand and not wander off on some Shangela related tangent. The teachers even noted that she was taking longer to complete the tests than before…almost requiring the full time block to make it through all of the questions and essays.

And they weren’t the only ones to notice that something was off. Courtney in particular showed additional concern for her friend. Their conversations had become simple and one dimensional. Most of the time, Bianca’s comments remained flat and emotionless; a far cry from her usual routine of alternating between snarky and flirty. Courtney tried a few cautious inquiries but it was pretty obvious, especially given Bianca’s now infamous glare, that she was not interested in talking about whatever was bothering her.

So Courtney just let her sulk…but not on her own.

She made it a point to still visit Bianca in the theater department, to still talk to her and not let her seclude herself for too long. There was resistance at first, that was to be expected, but gradually Bianca came to understand that she was not going away any time soon.

Though the majority of Courtney’s free time was spent in the greenhouse doing god knows what, Bianca could count on her popping up backstage to talk with her every few days or pulling her out into the nearest town on weekends for some fun. Though it took a bit of goading or bribing to get her to be social with their friends, Bianca ultimately appreciated the effort. No one else was really going to those same lengths…certainly not Shangela.

By now her temper had mostly evened out. Yes, she was still angry but it was more of an afterthought in the back of her mind than an all consuming hatred and loathing like it had been before. She was able to focus on other activities, theater work being the center, but even when she thought of Shangela, Alyssa or the two of them together, it was largely just sadness and dejection that came to the forefront of her thoughts.

Begrudgingly, she accepted that this was the new norm. She still hurt but she could function.

It wasn’t her first choice to see them right now but she could handle it. She knew enough to be civil and polite.

Courtney even managed to surprise her by asking again one day, “Want to talk about it now?”

She really didn’t but part of her felt like she owed some kind of explanation to Courtney, especially after so faithfully staying by her side. But in true Bianca fashion, she just shrugged her shoulders and continued pinning her latest creation to the mannequin in front of her.

Taking that as the closest thing to an affirmative answer as she’ll get, Courtney asked softly, “Are you doing okay, like honestly?”

“It’s not…fun,” Bianca replied with a bitter undertone, “But I’ll manage.”

Courtney let out a soft hum of disapproval and scolded lightly, “Bianca…”

“Really.” Bianca said, forcing a bit of tense laughter into her voice, “I’m fine. It hurts but I’m fine.” Turning her head to look directly at her friend, she assured her, “I promise.”

A soft sigh of relent or maybe relief passed from Courtney’s lips and quickly she settled back into her seat to watch Bianca work. About five minute of silence swept by but there was a little nagging question on Bianca’s mind. Sparing a glance back up to Courtney, she inquired, “Not gonna ask what it’s about?”

Shrugging her shoulders, Courtney simply noted passively, “You’ll tell me if you want to. I think I know though.”

“Oh?”

There was a moment’s pause but then Courtney guessed with a soft confidence, “Shangie.”

Bianca paused in her work for a few seconds. Her fingers twitched just slightly at the name but she doubted Courtney even had a good enough view to see that. She almost wanted to ask how Courtney guessed it so quickly but the girl had already proven herself to be quite observant. Though she might not always comment on things, she did take notice, especially if it involved one of her friends. As if sensing Bianca’s unspoken question, Courtney explained her reasoning with a bittersweet smile, “You don’t come by our room any more or the greenhouse. And whenever we have lunch, you don’t really look at them.” Moving from her seat, she took a place next to Bianca, leaning her head on her shoulder and running a sympathetic hand across her back as she asked quietly, “That’s why you stay here, right? So you don’t see them.”

Bianca gave a tense swallow, surprised by how much the mention of Shangela still hurt, even coming from Courtney. There was a quick nod to her head, subtle but enough for Courtney to notice. Pressing a fleeting kiss to her cheek, she whispered sincerely, “I’m sorry, B.”

A rueful smile appeared on Bianca’s lips as she pulled away from the grasp to continue her work. Before completely resuming her activities, she muttered a grateful, “Thanks.”

Courtney nodded her head, unseen by Bianca as she solely focused back on her project, and let another quiet noise of empathy. As she turned back to sit down again, she offered a final suggestion, “Maybe you should talk to her though. Might help.” A vague grumble echoed into the space between them, strongly indicating Bianca had little intention of following that advice. But whether or not she did, Courtney felt obligated to add in one final statement, “I know she misses you.”

There was another pause in Bianca’s working, if only for a moment, but then like nothing had happened, she was back in action at tailoring this latest design. Though on the surface she looked entirely occupied by the task at hand, her mind was actually a disjointed mess. Questions popped up endlessly and very little had to do with her theater work. She wondered about Courtney’s statement; if Shangela really did miss her. She had no doubt Courtney believed in her own words but as for how Shangela actually feels? Well…Bianca’s been wrong about that before.

But still she couldn’t help but muse over the possibility and later that night she decided to find out on her own.

It was late. No one was in the hallway and many were already asleep as Bianca stood outside Courtney and Shangela’s door. They were both still awake with at least one more guest in the room by the sound of it but Bianca had no interest in that. She needed to be close enough to Shangela to enter her mind and this distance was just enough before she would have to start pushing herself to establish and maintain a connection. She didn’t intend to keep this going for very long, just enough to find what she needed. So before anyone else could wander from their rooms and spot her; Bianca dove in.

It was still a tangled mess like before except perhaps now there were even more threads running off at once. Perhaps that’s because she was actively thinking this time around. Regardless, Bianca had a mission and was not going to pause in order to wonder about useless theories. She expected to have to dig through Shangela’s memory in order to find some trace of herself. After all it’d been awhile since they’d really seen each other; there was nothing recent to really go off of. Yet to her surprise, all on its own sat a memory of her. There was just a vague thin trace of thread connecting her to the present conversation but it was there!

As if somehow, even if she weren’t the topic, part of Shangela’s mind was still thinking about her at this point in time.

That thought left Bianca feeling weird, conflicted. She wasn’t entirely sure what all she was feeling, just that it was something. Something that still made her stomach twist.

But she could worry about that later. She found the starting point she needed and that was what mattered. Now to just push things along…

It only took a gentle nudge before a flurry of other memories appeared from this one thought. Like Shangela was trying to bury it but then a light tap in the right direction released everything she had tried to hold back. A slew of threads appeared, far more than last time, all running in different directions. But even the look of them seemed to be different. Most were of the same size, smaller than what she’d seen before and almost certainly different. One however looked a bit familiar.

Bianca was holding her breath as she reached out to touch it. It was one of the thicker strands, more solid than the others and certainly more apparent than it had been the last time she’d seen it.

It was attraction.

Shangela wanted to be with Bianca, to be by her side laughing once again. But since that wasn’t an option, instead she focused on remembering and holding on to the most recent interactions with her as though it would provide some kind of comfort. At her core, she just wanted some kind of clue as to Bianca’s current state, to know that she was alright. But a major difference this time and last was that the strand was almost fused with another…longing.

There was a kind of sad curiosity attached to the attraction. As if Shangela desperately wanted to know why Bianca had stopped visiting and why she wasn’t reaching out. It was miserable. Much like how Bianca had felt when she first started to seclude herself. The feeling made her eyes burn and very quickly she released that thread.

She took a moment to collect herself and then moved on to perhaps the thickest strand. It was blatant on her first glance but Bianca avoided it in favor of what seemed familiar. But now she had to know. If it was so thick and so solid, it had to be important. Bracing herself, she gave it the lightest touch and instantly a singular emotion flooded in; hurt.

It was overwhelming enough that Bianca released the strand for a moment to steady herself again. And then she investigated…

From that one thick strand grew into several others further on as they separated into singular memories. There was a moment of hesitation before Bianca dared to follow some of them and the answer she found shook her to the core. The most recent ones focused on her abandonment of their friend group. She was hurt that Bianca had left without a warning, that she continued to stay away with hardly a word or glance. But as Bianca dug deeper down this path, she found strands that were bigger and almost burning to the touch as the emotion tied to them stung just a little more pointedly.

It was memories of Bianca flirting. With Courtney…with Raja…even some other girl whose name Bianca could not recall. Some of these, particularly with the latter two, were events that Bianca had not realized Shangela had even seen. She was so used to trading playful, suggestive comments with Raja that she never actively thought about it. Not like she had with Courtney where it had been more intentional to her. And the other girl? That was so long ago Bianca could scarcely recall her…they only shared a class or two last year so it must have been shortly after meeting Shangela…Why would she still be so hurt by that?

But holding onto that strand was taking its toll on her. She felt more and more drained the longer she looked and certainly by now, she had seen all that she needed to with this emotion. But now for some of the others…unlike last time, she wanted to be more thorough and it was helped by the realization that there were less strands than before…thicker, but certainly fewer. This time she would not leave any forgotten.

Still it took more time than she anticipated to look through all of them. Some were simple emotions only connected to one or two instances, others were stronger and connected to several. All were understandable and reasonable to Bianca’s mind. But perhaps the one that stuck out to Bianca more, at least than the rest, also connected her back to Alyssa…only this time she recognized it as Alyssa.

This memory…she had seen it before, she knew she had, but how.

Then it hit her…

The first time she had gone into Shangela’s mind and investigated the thread linking her to past crushes, she had watched some of these scenes mashed together into one memory block. It was Shangela’s (likely) favorite memories of a girl she knew from another town, clearly Alyssa, now that Bianca cared enough to recognize her. But this time it wasn’t linked by attraction or even anything so overtly happy. It was a sort of bittersweet emotion that came with these memories, at least when juxtapositioned with thoughts of Bianca. There were still strands of attachment and fondness connecting elsewhere but when tied to memories of her time with Bianca…it was as if Shangela were drawing comparisons between the two and noting key differences…differences that had her feeling strangely happy and unhappy at the same time.

This realization left Bianca feeling cold and alone now and without another thought now that her mission was completed, she left Shangela’s mindscape and wandered back to her own room. She laid in bed staring up at the ceiling as she tried to sort through all that she had found. Unlike before, there was a lot of unhappiness in these memories, at least for right now. Undoubtedly Shangela was hurting too. Not just from Bianca’s absence but also the events leading up to it. But even with that last look at Shangela’s favorite memories of Alyssa, it confirmed there was something else special about their relationship.

Those pre-existing feelings she had for Alyssa never disappeared. The only way they changed was that had grown stronger…whereas Shangela’s feelings towards Bianca? Well it was clear now that how she and Bianca felt about each other no longer matched. Shangela had moved on. Sure, she was hurt by those instances of Bianca’s flirting but it didn’t occur to her to confront Bianca on them, not even to try talking about it. Instead she just turned her attention back to a previous crush that had popped up out of the blue.

Would things have gone differently if Alyssa never showed up? Might she have even fought for Bianca, for what they could’ve had?

Pointless questions Bianca knew, but she couldn’t help but wonder.

Her heart hurt now that she had her answer but it was a new kind of hurt. With time she might even understand it and certainly will move past it, but again…it’ll just take time. Yet knowing that Shangela was unhappy was a strange comfort…maybe she could try making an effort again?

A small one for now…but that can wait until tomorrow.

*******

Days flew by, turning weeks into months but things had finally settled into a new normal. Bianca did reach out to Shangela and soon they were able to rekindle their friendship. It took some getting used to the new boundaries but Bianca tried to respect them. She was more distant now but she had begrudgingly come to accept Alyssa as part of her life if she wanted to continue being friends with Shangela. The girl could be quite entertaining at times, exasperating too, but Bianca was learning to appreciate her.

Laganja was another story however. Small doses were best, Bianca came to realize.

Despite the renewal of their relationship, Bianca’s commitment to her theater work did not change. She still spent the majority of her time working on new projects for each production but it was no longer to escape thinking about other events. She enjoyed her work even if it left her occupied most afternoons and nights.

Courtney was an ever present fixture backstage, visiting more regularly than before, even with her discovery of a reappearing portal deep in the woods that kept leaving little presents for her and the other plant elementals. She’d often stop by after she finished her work in the greenhouse in order to walk back to the dormitories with Bianca. As she waited, she would describe whatever she was working on or what new piece of gossip she overheard in hallways or at lunch. Often during these visits a small smile could be found resting on Bianca’s lips, especially as she pounced to the opportunity to interject a catty or witty remark.

The pair bounced ideas off one another until Bianca found a good stopping point and then they’d continue the conversation back in one of their bedrooms or common space. It was nice having someone to talk to regularly, Bianca noted. Though she still tried to talk with Shangela at least once a day, usually it was via text as she, Alyssa and occasionally Laganja would head off into town for some extra fun to add a little spice to an otherwise routine campus life.

Overall, Bianca had grown content. There was a part of her that still stung but it was dull and easily ignored with the right distractions. She was simply grateful that she was still able to keep Shangela in her life, at a respectable distance of course. At times however, she did have to admit she missed having that connection with someone.

Someone she could look forward to seeing every day even if it was just to bitch about school work. She just wanted to have a companion that was special to her in the same way Shangela had been, whether it’d end up being romantic or not.

Though she wouldn’t say it out loud…she was a bit lonely. Even though she loved her friends, those relationships just couldn’t provide what she was looking for. Every now and then she wondered who might be enough for her but then decided that ultimately, it was something best left untouched for now. 

It’ll likely happen in the future, she reasoned, so why stress over it now? She had plenty to keep her occupied. And as she set to work on her theater group’s latest set of costumes, yet another batch of new students arrived at the school.

Bianca had studiously ignored the last group of arrivals, finding that once again, she had no danger of acquiring a new roommate. Besides, she had plenty of other things on her mind at the time. However, during this latest round of open house, Bianca found herself vaguely aware of everyone moving in. She wasn’t sure if there were actually more students this time around or if it was just poorly organized, but the dormitories were definitely more crowded.

Louder too, she noted bitterly. 

So Bianca took to doing her homework inside the theater until everything quieted down. Should only be a week or two, she figured. Aside from that, she was utterly uninspired in the start of the new semester.

Courtney however, made friends very quickly with some of the new arrivals. She invited a few to eat lunch with her, as she later told Bianca, and hinted rather strongly that Bianca might enjoy meeting some of them. All that suggestion earned her was a blank stare, a short scoff, and then Bianca turning back around once more to continue sewing.

Courtney tried that tactic last semester and it didn’t work then.

Sure as hell not going to work now, Bianca thought as her lips curled with a hint of smirk.

But unlike last time, or perhaps because of it, Courtney took matters into her own hands and pushed Bianca to be social. Namely by bringing some of her new friends down to the theater to meet her.

Bianca’s glare towards Courtney was just short of scathing as her friend proudly announced her presence and that of two others. A mischievous little glint in Courtney’s eyes annoyed her even further, especially now that it was paired with the smuggest smirk Bianca had ever seen, at least on someone besides herself.

Begrudgingly she left her work station and approached the group of girls standing in the doorway. In her best attempt at being civil, she introduced herself and waited impatiently for the mandatory pleasantries to finally be over.

“I’m Alaska,” said the bean pole of a girl standing before her. Bianca gave her a skeptical look as she added in shyly, “Fire elemental.”

“Right,” Bianca drawled out slowly. How Courtney found this one she could only guess. Disregarding that thought, Bianca shifted her focus to the other girl. But as she turned to look at her more directly, Bianca found that she had inexplicably disappeared. She was sure the girl had been standing there just a few seconds ago, staring all around the room with wide eyes, no less.

Where could she have gone so quickly?

Then from somewhere behind her, she heard a voice asking, “Whoa, did you draw this?”

Brows knitting together, Bianca spun around to find that girl hovering over her work station, rifling through all of her sketches! A flash of irritation shot through her core as she tensely answered, “Yeah. They’re for the next production.”

Beaming brightly at Bianca, the girl insisted, “They’re amazing! I can’t believe you made these! I mean, they look so professional.”

As the last syllable filled the room, Bianca felt a sense of pride and something strange rising to her heart. The girl’s words were honest, that was clear to see, and simply knowing that left Bianca feeling light and well, happy. Much more than someone simply playing lip service or trying to be polite.

A cautious smile spread across her face as she replied back calmly, “Thanks…What’s your name, sweetheart?”

Somehow the stranger’s smile grew even brighter and in an instant she was gone from sight. If Bianca hadn’t seen it herself, she would’ve thought it was just a trick of the eyes but in just a second, the girl appeared directly in front of her, that same smile now looking almost as smug as Courtney’s as she answered with a hint of playful laughter, “Adore.”

[tivaholic4]

NCIS High School: Chapter Eleven:

The game ended after the overtime quarter (Which means the teams were tied in the fourth quarter and need to determine a winner so they added another quarter to the game.) The score was 68-66. Michael Franks Washington beating Washington High by two points. The people in the stands were screaming and jumping on the bleachers. They had finally beaten their rival. Tony looked around the stands and locked eyes with Ziva. She was smiling brightly at the scoreboard and of the chaos going around the gym. She was looking around at the excitement that was spreading around this room. She locked eyes with Tony and her smile became brighter. He moved over to the bleachers and saw Ziva, Abby, and McGee as well as his parents standing and cheering for his school and their basketball team.

After 10 minutes, things finally started to settle down. Tony and his team moved to the locker room where they all cheered after their win against their big rival. Tony got pats on the back from most of his teammates. He hurriedly gathered his things and changed and left the locker room. As he walked into the hallway he saw Ziva, Abby, and Tim, along with his parents, waiting for him, leaning against the wall talking. He locked eyes with Ziva and started making his way over to her. Um them. As he was walking, a hand grabbed his shoulder and wouldn’t let go. He turned around to see Jeanne standing there with a smile on her face and batting her eyelashes. He yanked his shoulder away from her and started walking towards Ziva and his family again. Her hand gripped his shoulder once more. He turned around, ready to tell her off.

“What do you want, Jeanne?” His voice was filled with venom. Something that Jeanne seemed to ignore.

“Wanna join me at the Sacks’ house for the after-game party? I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun.” Tony gave her a look of hatred. He knocked her hand off his shoulder once more and looked at her.

“Leave me alone, Jeanne. And don’t touch me ever again.” With that, he turned around and walked to Ziva again. Jeanne didn’t make another attempt at him. As he saw Ziva, his glare made its way into a smile. She was sending a glare over in Jeanne’s direction. Something that made his heart flutter. She was jealous. He liked that she was protective of him. He didn't know how much, but he was very protective of her too.

He walked over and his dad gave him a pat on the back. Tony had scored 46 of the 68 points tonight. People would say that it was skill, but in reality, it was the fact that Ziva was there and he wanted to impress her.

“Did you see the look on Jacobs' face when you scored that three-pointer? Looked like he was about to shit himself.” Gibbs laughed. Jenny lightly slapped him in the arm, as they were in a public place and it wasn’t just the family and Abby. There was a beautiful girl standing close to Tony. She assumed that this was Ziva.

“Hi. I’m Jenny Gibbs. Tony’s mother. Excuse my husband, he’s normally a functional mute. At least, until it comes to sports.” Gibbs smirked. Ziva smiled at the love that she could see between the two adults.

“It is very nice to meet you. I am Ziva.” She went to shake their hands which they accepted happily. Gibbs turned to look at her and noticed she looked like someone that he knew. Ziva saw this and turned her head to the side and squinted her eyebrows together. Gibbs. She had heard her father say many things about this man. Manly how stubborn and addicted to coffee he was.

“Gibbs? As in Leroy Jethro Gibbs?” Ziva hesitantly asked, not wanting to seem creepy. Gibbs nodded his head slightly. The family around them could only watch the interaction.

“My father has told me many things about you. Mainly good as you have a strong work ethic. Something my father greatly appreciated when working with you.” Then it clicked for Gibbs and he raised his head to her.

“Eli David was your father?” Ziva nodded.

“Yes sir.” Ziva had always been polite. Something her mother practically branded her into at a young age. She would always say “Nobody will respect you if you don’t show some respect and manners yourself.” It was always something that Ziva took to heart as she believed her mother to be correct.

Gibbs looked at her within hidden emotion. He had heard that Eli David’s remaining family had moved to the U.S. He didn’t expect his oldest son to become smitten with his oldest daughter. He knew how much of a hard-ass Eli was, especially when it came to his family.

“I’m sorry for loss.” Ziva nodded her head, a silent thank you.

“Enough sadness! Let’s go get some ice cream!” Abby yelled. She hated it when people were sad and it seemed like Ziva really didn’t want to have this conversation. Everybody agreed and they made their way out to their separate vehicles. Tony drove his 1969 Mustang and offered Ziva a ride to the ice cream parlor. Tim drove with Abby in his 1970 Audi, something that they always did as they were very close friends and her hot rod was always causing problems. Gibbs and Jenny drove in Gibbs’ Ford F250 as the company charger was normally for too and from work.

Tony and Ziva climbed into the mustang and followed Jenny and Gibbs with Tim and Abby behind them. They made it to Presidential Scoops (actually a real place in Washington D.C.) and went inside. There were many people crowded into the little building that was the ice cream parlor. Many noticed Tony and his varsity jacket and patted him on the back for his job well done in their game tonight. He said thanks but went right back to his conversation with Ziva about some things that she was confused about from the game.

“How hard do you have to hit someone for it to be a foul?” She asked, not wanting Tony to be hurt in this game he found so enjoyable. Tony shrugged.

“Honestly not that hard. If somebody from the other team practically touches you that’s a foul. Sometimes it can be a charge foul, you know where they actually try to hurt you.” Ziva nodded. She had seen one instance when that had happened tonight. Somebody totally nailed Jackson and was called to the free-throw line. The other player was on the bench for the rest of the game.

“So that is why he was on the bench the rest of the game?”

“Well, he had five fouls which means that he couldn’t play in the game anymore.” Ziva’s mouth formed an O shape as she got what he was saying. They ordered their ice cream. Tony got strawberry and Ziva got mint chocolate chip. It was no Berry Mango Madness but it would do. It was actually very good. She turned around and saw that Abby had gotten chocolate and Tim had gotten peanut butter. Surprisingly, there was a coffee flavor that they served, which of course Gibbs got. Jenny got orange sherbert. They all moved to a table outside of the parlor as all the seats had been taken. Many others must have had the same idea as they did as the parlor only became more crowded. They all ate their ice cream together and talked about the game. Ziva’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She didn’t want to take it out of her pocket, not wanting to be rude, but she wondered if it was her mother. She reached behind her and grabbed a hold of her phone and unlocked the screen. It was her mother.

Ima: Where are you, Ziva? You said you would be home after school. It is 8 PM.

Ziva wanted to smack herself on the forehead. How could she forget to tell her mother where she was and what she was doing? But more importantly, who she was with. Ever since Ari was killed, she had been very protective and Ziva and Tali. Not wanting anything to happen to her daughters. When Tali died, she upd the anney, and Ziva had finally reasoned with her to stop hounding her. Even though she knew her mother was just scared for Ziva to be out and about, it was interfering with Ziva’s freedom. She was finally away from the burden of Israel and looked forward to the countless opportunities to be free in this country.

Ziva: I am sorry, Ima. Tony had a basketball game today and he wanted me to come. I met his parents after and we are eating ice cream not too far from the house.

She knew that her mother didn’t trust people and she was surprised that she actually took a liking to Tony so early. I guess that ran in the family as she was quite smitten with him herself. Her mother’s reply came back as fast as she could type.

Ima: I do not want you out too late tonight. We still have boxes to unpack. You still need to get your room situated.

Her mother never liked messes. Especially nowadays. She would clean every Saturday and sometimes every Wednesday when Eli had a drunken fit some nights, and she would fight to put him to bed. Something Ziva was very glad would not happen now. Yes, she missed her father, but he never acted like a father to her only like a sperm donor. He had always shown Tali that side of affection, but when it came to her, it had always vanished as soon as he saw her. She didn’t know what she did to make that spark leave his eyes. She had always tried to please him, but it would go to no avail. Eventually, she had given up seeing as it wasn’t worth her time when all he did was turn his nose up at her.

Ziva: I will be home soon, Ima.

Ima: Will you need me to pick you up?

She looked up and saw that Tony was looking at her with a smile on his face.

“I can take you home. Tell her not to worry her pretty little head about it.” Ziva smiled and let out a chuckle. No doubt this was some of his charm.

Ziva: No. Tony said that he will bring me home.

Ima: Okay. Be careful. I love you, Zivaleh.

Ziva smiled.

Ziva: Love you too, Ima.

Her mother was all that she had left now. She loved her very deeply and knew that her mother felt the same. Just because they moved here from bad experiences, didn’t mean that they had to dwell on them any longer. They had a fresh start and Ziva planned on taking that. Especially with the man, she was sitting next too.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I honestly would love to see Black Cat and MJ just hang out more. Because of the love triangle I’ve always heard about how much they ‘must’ hate each other, but honestly I could picture Pete waking up one day, finding MJ and Felicia in the living room having coffee and asking what she’s doing here and MJ just says, “Dude we meet up like twice a week to hang. We’re going bowling tonight.” or something.

They’re relationship is actually more complicated than simply being catty rivals or some such. 

The harsh truth is, for better or worse, writers pitted the pair against one another lightly in the 1980s, famously the first instance of this was in the iconic ASM #258, the issue both immediately after MJ reveals she knows who Peter is and where Peter learns the truth about the black costume.

Initially the animosity was more on Felicia’s end than MJ’s, whether she meant it or not, she briefly felt Peter was better suited to Black Cat.

MJ became Peter’s confidant not too long before he and Felicia broke up and when she was later reintroduced into the titles MJ became more clearly down on her. This is epitomized in Spec #119 (a great Felicia story).

That issue also  ends though with MJ admitting she has complicated conflicting feelings towards Felicia, the complications of which are wrapped up in her complicated feelings for Peter. In the story Felicia single handily takes down Sabertooth.* In a sense she defended civilians and Peter in doing so and thus MJ is caught between admiration and jealousy.

Their romantic rivalry becomes more out and out mean in Spec #123 and ASM #288 which follows up on that subplot. In the issues MJ resolves to set her and Peter’s ‘will they won’t they’ thing straight only find Felicia in Peter’s apartment (he saved her earlier that day and she needed somewhere to regroup). At the end of that adventure though Felicia basically forcibly stayed in Peter’s apartment so MJ was none too pleased to find her there when she showed up to make Peter breakfast in bed.**

The pair remained in disdain of one another after this but also didn’t interact face to face again until after Pete and MJ got married and more specifically after Peter lost his cosmic powers defeating Tri-Sentinel. Felicia had learned Peter had gotten married and as revenge began dating Flash with the intention of breaking his heart to hurt Peter by proxy. She also delighted in makig him and MJ uncomfortable though.

When MJ and Felicia interacted one-on-one Felicia was shockingly straight up assaulting MJ!

At this point MJ obviously didn’t like Felicia but she was not giving as good as she got. Things began to shift not too long after in a storyline that saw Peter give up his powers and Felicia begin to develop genuine feelings for Flash. During this storyline Felicia stepped up and began acting as the muscle for the powerless Peter. MJ still didn’t like Peter was starting to reluctantly recognize her as more of an ally than an enemy. In particular the story ended with Felicia powerless and deciding to temporarily retire and date Flash sincerely.

Whilst they weren’t exactly friends it did get to a point where MJ was okay with going on double dates with Flash and Felicia, considering the latter was no longer out to get her/hurt Flash/steal Peter away.

However a significant turning point occurred in Web of Spider-Man #80. The story short is that Peter/Spidey is missing after he and Mj got attacked. MJ turns to Felicia for help, citing the fact she still cares for Peter and that’s common ground for them to work with for the moment. She gives her a tracking device Peter made to zero in on him. She even admits she’s out of her league on this front and it’s up to Felicia. Felicia of course helps save Spidey and whilst initially claims her locating him was due to their ‘connection’ (meaning their romantic history) she admits MJhelped witht he tracking device. The issue ends though with Felicia admitting that MJ’s device actually didn’t work, meaning Felicia simply let the Parker couple think it did out of kindness to MJ. This didn’t turn the pair into friends, but it showed they were clearly mellowing towards one another.

This didn’t make them chummy as catty remarks still occurred during later interactions (noticably from MJ). I’m skipping over stuff to get to some highlights, the next of which is a big one. 

In Felicia’s first ever solo mini-seires MJ not only appears int he first issue but they are actually hanging out...together...as friends!

Or at least as frenemies. It’s clear there is still some underlying jealousy or jousting to be had, but they’re very open about it and Felicia is actively confiding in MJ, even talking about how she feels regarding Peter. And not just Peter in general, his then current state of being. This was back when Peter was unravelling due to the aftermath of the Robot Parents crap and becoming more anti-social and obsessive about his Spider-Man life, spending less time out of the costume. It got Felicia and MJ concerned. A very significant line of dialogue in this scene is MJ saying she’ll call Felicia later. It implies that they have hung out together before or are at least okay with doing do again in the near future. 

Also this was at Felicia’s home, so for MJ to have voluntarily gone to the home of the woman who once assaulted her says a lot about how things have changed.

Again skipping over some stuff but the next big moment for MJ and Felicia came in Web of Spider-Man #125 where MJ once again calls upon Felicia’s aid to find Peter (though he’s not in trouble, she just needs him present). The circumstances are decidedly different from Web #80. There is no jousting going on. Partially this is due to their relationship having grown deeper but it’s also due to MJ being pregnant and amidst the chaos of the time (Peter was on trial for murder, Aunt May had just died and MJ had been recently abducted by Kaine) she was clearly feeling very vulnerable. 

Vulnerable enough in fact that Felicia can clearly tell MJ is upset and outright hugs her, offering some support and comfort. 

This time Felicia isn’t seeking out Peter less because she cares for him and more because she wants to help MJ and the baby. If ever there was a moment clearly demarking the pair had fully transitioned into real friendship, this was it. 

Whilst MJ and Felicia don’t directly interact in Web #128 Peter makes a reference to MJ and Felicia talking on the phone for hours.

Skipping waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead now. The tl:dr is that Felicia clearly began to develop some feelings for Peter again during Howard Mackie’s run. This became more significantly a factor in the Evil that Men Do Limited Series where Felicia is putting the movies on Peter and also refers to MJ derogatorily. 

Something to note about Evil that Men do is that it gets a lot of details wrong and it’s continuity is wonky. the first half came out when Peter and MJ were seperated, but the second half came out years later and used then contemporary continuity from when Peter and MJ would’ve been back together. The important thing to note is Felicia went back to having the hots for Spider-Man and also being down on MJ

To my recollection the next time I recall MJ and Felicia having a significant interaction was in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5. In the issue Felicia has rescued Peter from the Vulture and is helping him investigate Aunt may’s recent kidnapping. Peter was badly beat up so Felicia and Mj were nursing him back to health. The scene where Peter wakes up clearly conveys that there is some tension and competitivness going on between MJ and Felicia even though they are talking in a friendly manner to one another. When Felicia leaves MJ looked really bummed out, which might’e been due to some insecurities regarding Felicia or because of their financial troubles at the time (she was keeping them from Peter).

Later on in Marvel Knights #10, when Peter has resolved to break Norman Osborn out of jail in order to save Aunt May, Felicia going along with him for this, MJ blows up at Felicia and basically tells her to back off from Peter.

In defence of MJ here, Norman Osborn has pushed them to the edge big time so I think she’s having a major wobble regarding Black Cat.

Anyway, she’s not wrong about Felicia as the remaining issues of the arc make it clear that Felicia is absolutely in love with Peter again if Evil that Men Do didn’t make that clear enough.

Next up in Spider-Man: Breakout #2, MJ is similarly pissed off about Peter contacting Felicia for help tracking down the U-Foes.

Frankly...I find this instance rather out of character but I thought I might as well mention it.

Then we have Spider-Man Unlimited volume 3 #14. In this issue, as payback for helping him bust out Norman Osborn, Felicia demands Spider-Man help her steal something from Doctor Doom. Peter isn’t happy about this until it turns out that the item in question was a spider tracer with his finger prints on it, meaning Felicia was trying to once again protect Peter. MJ wasn’t happy to find out Peter was hanging out with Felicia but acknwoeldged she helped protect them.

The next notable interaction was during Civil War when Peter was unmasked, the Parkers were fugitives and Peter was half dead from a beating via the Rhino. Felicia upon learning of this sought out the Parkers and volunteered to even the score with Rhino. When all is said and done, MJ asks Felicia if she wants to give Peter a message from her.

We then transition into shitty post-OMD continuity and frankly I’m not touching 90% of that sans one notable story (Web of Spider-Man volume 2 #11-12) in which Felicia, who has totally forgotten who MJ and Peter Parker are, nevertheless befriends MJ after an adventure to save Peter.

I bring up this story simply because your original question was regarding MJ and Felicia friendship.

This story’s canonicity can be debated for a few reasons, it doesn’t make sense in general because the mindwipe was asinine shit and it has 0 follow up. In fact it doesn’t even really jive with later appearances of MJ or Felicia. It is amusing though that it completes a sort of trilogy wherein MJ and Felicia become more friendly in Web of Spider-Man.

Anyway, that brings you pretty much up to date.

Essentially there are two distinct eras for MJ and Felicia’s relationship. The 1980s-1990s where they have a clear arc transitioning from acquaintances who’re not that fond of one another to rivals to frenemies to outright friends. 

Then you have the 2000s and beyond which pits the two against one another again but in a very different dynamic to before as MJ is Peter’s wife and recognizes Felicia’s as an ally.

It’s not impossible to reconcile the two narratively but I’m not going to do that here. 

I think the second era might’ve been done in order to inject more tension into the Spider Marriage and in fairness, it did work. It was dramatic.

But I personally prefer the second era much more as it portrays a clear character arc. As a bonus I should mention that, since it diverged from Spider-Man continuity in the late 1990s, in Spider-Girl MJ and Felicia’s relationship continued to develop in a friendly manner to the point where Felicia would pay Mj a visit in her office and the pair would chat about their daughters and their mutual problems. In MJ’s case a difficult pregnancy and in Felicia’s her rebellious daughter who wasn’t fond of her same sex partner.

To bring this right around to your OP, the scenes of friendship have more or less happened in canon and in stories that are pseudo canon. 

*Bear in mind this was the same decade where Sabertooth participated in the infamous Mutant Massacre storyline where he and his peers mass slaughtered a bunch of defenceless mutants. Readers knew he was no pushover.  

**Because you see according to Joe Quesada, Steve Wacker, Dan Slott et al Mary Jane was clearly not dating Peter at this time and I think we’ve all brought groceries to our ex’s apartment (that we own a key to) in order to make them breakfast in bed. It’s the single most platonic gesture possible.

[slytherinknowitall]

Potion Fumes and Cauldron Leaks

Chapter 14: Can You Keep A Secret, Professor?

(Click here for chapter 13!)

(Click here to start from the beginning!)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the “Harry Potter” book series. The story of “Harry Potter” is the property of J. K. Rowling, it is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

It was late at night, and Severus was in a truly splendid mood as he made his way through one of the school’s deserted corridors.

Just a few hours earlier, his house’s Quidditch team had absolutely smashed those stupid little Gryffindors he despised so much. 60 to 190 points – he still marvelled at that superb score. Finally, after all those years, his beloved Slytherins were again on their way to take home Hogwarts’ Inter-House Quidditch Cup! He could not help but smirk as he thought of the shocked expression on Potter’s face when Draco Malfoy had caught the Snitch right before the Chosen One’s eyes. After the game, the Potions Master had then spent the rest of his night harvesting Sopophorous beans from his secret acreage hidden deep within the Forbidden Forest and was now on his way back to his chambers. Ah yes, today had been a good day!

Snape was just about to turn the corner when he heard the unmistakable creak of a heavy door echoing through the nocturnal quiet. Maybe it was a remnant of his spying days or maybe it was the teacher in him evermore prepared to catch some unsuspecting students breaking the rules, but he immediately stopped dead in his tracks and squeezed his body against the wall before risking a stealthy look into the corridor to his right.

At first, he could not see much as the light coming through an open door situated a mere few metres in front of his position was simply too bright; it took his eyes a second or two to adjust. It was only then that he realised he was looking at the entrance to the Hospital Wing. Funny – he hadn’t even noticed that he had wandered into the Hospital Tower. But maybe that should not have come as a surprise, considering how much his mind had been all over the place lately.

Turning his attention back to the scene before him, he could make out a person looking suspiciously similar to Madam Pomfrey standing in the doorway, evidently speaking with someone out of his sight. The wizard’s brows puckered. Normally, Poppy had a zero-tolerance policy when it came to her sleeping schedule; one that she defended with all kinds of nasty hexes, as he himself had had to experience first-hand. The only exception, of course, was in cases of emergency; but in that instance, every one of the school’s teachers would have been informed. And Severus knew for a fact that Albus’ Patronus would have easily found him no matter where he had been, even deep down in the woods.

Trying to get a better look, he scooted a bit closer, making sure not to step out of the protective cover provided by the nighttime shadows, just as the matron moved aside to let her conversation partner exit the room. To say that he was surprised when he saw Granger set foot in the dark corridor would have been an understatement.

He had not seen her since they had shared that quick hug in the Entrance Hall; as far as he was aware, she had not even attended the game earlier. Presently, she was dressed in what seemed to be a light grey bathrobe over a pair of red plaid cotton pyjamas, with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail at the nape of her neck – certainly a drastic difference to the risky Halloween costume she had worn just a few days earlier.

Severus watched as the Gryffindor exchanged a few more unintelligible words with the elderly healer before turning around and walking off into the direction of the Grand Staircase, her cloth slippers audibly dragging across the stone floor. He waited until the door to the infirmary had been pulled shut before moving to stealthily follow her. The thoughts in his head were running wild. Why had she been there, at this time of night at that?! Had she somehow gotten injured? Had she contracted some sort of disease? Panic already arousing in him, Snape forced himself to calm down. No, he would have been told if his personal apprentice had become sick or gotten hurt. Also, he knew that Poppy would never discharge a patient in the middle of the night. So what was really going on?

The strides of his long legs great, he was quick to catch up to her petite figure.

“Miss Granger,” he growled, causing the witch to jump in surprise. “What were you doing in the Hospital Wing at this hour? It is almost one o’clock in the morning, so you are not only outside of visiting hours but also past curfew!”

“Merlin, keep your voice down or someone will hear you!”

Severus did not even have enough time to get angry about being shushed by a student – or to blush at his new love interest tightly gripping his arm – before Granger pulled him into the nearest empty classroom. Pulling out her wand, she quickly locked the door and cast a privacy charm before turning around to face him.

“My apologies, sir.” She regarded him with a slight frown on her face. “But I simply could not risk anyone eavesdropping on us.”

“I demand to know the meaning of this right now, Miss Granger!” snarled Snape.

After giving him a long and calculated look, the young woman tilted her head as she asked, “Can you keep a secret, Professor?”

“Keep a secret?” He almost felt as though he had just been insulted. “I was a Death Eater and a double agent for longer than you have been alive, you foolish girl!”

Granger ignored his little emotional outburst. “I will take that as a yes.” She walked over to one of the wooden tables in the front row and leant against it. “My visit to the infirmary did not concern myself.”

Severus just glared at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Rather, I was there to act as a sort of moral support for Ginny.”

“Miss Weasley.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Yes,” she confirmed nonetheless. “I’m sure that you noticed her absence at today’s game. You see, her and Harry have been an item for a while now. But it seems as though they recently had a little mishap.”

The Potions professor was growing more and more impatient. Potter and anything concerning him was one of his least favourite subjects.

“A mishap of what sort?” he pressed her.

“Well …” Seemingly searching for the right words, Snape thought that he could see her face turn red a little. “A mishap as they became more intimate. Carelessness in the heat of passion, if you will.”

Snape’s eyes turned big and he could feel a burning sensation starting to spread in his cheeks.

“You mean …” He could not even bring himself to say it.

Granger nodded. “Ginny got pregnant. She obviously freaked out, not knowing what to do. So after she confided in me, I set up a secret appointment with Madam Pomfrey.”

She did not elaborate further, looking at him as though he should know where the story was going. But after a few seconds of Severus just staring back at her blankly, she finally lost her patience.

“The pregnancy was terminated.”

“WHAT?”

Granger simply rolled her eyes. “Come on, Professor! Don’t act like you aren’t aware that things like this happen at our school all the time. Every year, there’s at least half a dozen of girls seeking Madam Pomfrey’s assistance in such matters.”

“No, I did not know that!” he barked back. “What do the girl’s parents have to say to all of this? And Potter?!”

She offered him a sad smile. “He doesn’t know.”

“What?!” he exclaimed appalled. “How could that idiot not know he impregnated a fellow student?”

“Ginny just never told him. I advised her to do so, of course; but she didn’t want to. And at the end of the day, it’s her body and her choice. All I can do is be there for her as a friend.” She crossed her arms. “It’s probably for the best anyway. Harry would have tried to convince her to continue with the pregnancy for sure, and they’re just not ready for that kind of responsibility. I mean, neither of them has even finished their education yet! And while Harry might have brought about Voldemort’s downfall, he cannot even keep up with his schoolwork, let alone take care of a child.”

Severus was taken aback by the maturity in her voice. “She is probably right,” he thought. He did not even want to imagine having to deal with another Potter brat in eleven years’ time; just the idea of it made him shudder. Still, the thought of two students being sexually active made him highly uncomfortable somehow. Ironic, considering his own current emotional state.

“And so that’s the reason why I was in the Hospital Wing,” he could hear the brunette conclude.

“Very well.” He let out an audible sigh. “10 points from Gryffindor.”

“Excuse me?!” she bellowed.

“Miss Granger, as the school’s Head Girl, you should lead by example. Wandering around the castle after curfew is a punishable offence.” He smirked. “Regardless of the circumstances.”

It was painfully obvious that that was an attempt at lightening the mood, and the brightest witch of her age threw her hands up in frustration.

“You really are something, Professor Snape! I guess I better get going before you deduct even more points – for ridiculous reasons, I might add!”

She removed her magical guards and made for the door.

“One last thing, Miss Granger.”

A head of full brown locks turned to him. “Yes?”

Severus regarded her quizzically. “Why would you tell me such damning information willingly?”

“Oh, I don’t believe you would ever tell, sir. You would have to admit to having conversations with your apprentice in private, after all.”

And with one last cheeky grin, she disappeared into the night.

(Click here for chapter 15!)