#miss carter's moved 🤍

[hockeyboysimagines]

The girl with the broken smile

Chapter 3

Warnings: angst, some language

Final Chapter, and the next part would be when Sawyer arrives in Philly in Chapter 1 of Say it to me softly. I’ve been wanting to get this out of the drafts for a bit here so I can focus on some other things. Enjoy! Keep an eye out for updates to Carter this weekend🤍

Nash woke with a start and turned to check the clock. It was 2:36 AM and she sighed and laid back down. It was raining, buckets pouring out of the sky and staining her windows. She sat up, and padded across her bedroom and out into the hall.

She sleepily wondered if Travis was awake but as she turned the corner she realized that she wasn’t at his apartment.

She was in hers.

It had been only a week since she’d moved abruptly out of Travis’s apartment and into her own in a different building. Moving boxes were still stacked here and there and she felt a little bit worse each time the silence set in.

She missed seeing him every day. Missed his dumb jokes, big smile and overall warmth she’d become accustomed to. She felt isolated again, like she’d backpedaled on all her progress she’d made since she moved out of her home and into Travis’s. She felt like a failure to herself and him.

She poured a glass of water and sat on her couch staring out the window. At first she’d loved living here, mostly because she now had the privacy to cry in peace without burdening Travis with her breakdowns. But she hated it now. Moving out had been a mistake. She missed him.

She hadn’t seen him, and he’d been “busy” when she asked if he wanted to come see her new place leaving her with only Carter and Kevin that afternoon.

“Is he okay?” She asked as she glancing up from where she was folding laundry.

Kevin glanced up from his place in the kitchen where he was unpacking silverware “Not at all. What gave it away?”

“Seriously? All of a sudden he’s busy? For the last few weeks I couldn’t even be home alone and now he magically has plans.”

“ I think he’s just a little sad that’s all.”

“About what?”

“About this.” He said gesturing around the room “He wanted you to stay.”

Nash felt guilty. She knew he didn’t want her to leave, but she was a little afraid of what might happen if she didn’t.

She was almost positive that Travis was intending to kiss her when that horn beeped, and the only reason he didn’t was because of it. And that was her worst fear.

To think that he was going to kiss her for whatever reason, most likely pity because she was such a train wreck, would break her heart, and she wouldn’t do anything that might cause her friendship with him to die. She just couldn’t take the risk. He was too important to her now more than ever.

She looked at Carter “Am I wrong for leaving?”

He pursed his lips “Uhm…no I don’t think so. But is there a reason you were so quick about it?”

She looked between them. They were both staring at her like they knew something but she wouldn’t tell them.

“No. Just wanted to give him his space. I mean who wants to live with a girl when it comes time to bring girls home?” She chuckled.

“Travis isn’t bringing any girls home.”

“So I’ve noticed.” She mumbled.

“Pat isn’t bringing any girls home either. So what does that tell you?” Kevin said bluntly still staring at her as he stuffed things in drawers.

“What do you mean?”

“Neither of them have any interest in fucking around with anyone, and Pat is in love with his best friend. So I’ll ask you again. What does that tell you?” Kevin was getting a little huffy with her, which was something she wasn’t used to. For the most part, everyone has been especially gentle with Nash the last few weeks. The only true reality heck she’d gotten about the way things had come wrong in her life, was the random run in with Justin, and Libby consistently reinforcing the fact that she could never have anything to do with him again. Other than that, she’d been handled with care.

“I understand what your saying but what does Nolan and Sawyer have to do with me?”

“Nash don’t be fucking dense okay?” Kevin scoffed closing a drawer “If you can’t see what’s happening here then your either being purposely ignorant or your just not paying enough attention.”

Nash frowned “Kevin i-“

“Kev don’t.”

She turned to see Carter shaking his head “You should talk about this with Travis. It’s none of our business.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“Travis likes you okay?” Kevin snapped.

Carter rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling “Way to be subtle Kev.”

“No.” She shook her head “He doesn’t.”

“Whatever.” Kevin dropped the rest of the stuff in his hands and grabbed his keys “I gotta go.” He left without another word and Nash turned to Carter, head down, lip trembling.

“Please don’t cry. If you start crying, I’m gonna start crying and if the guys can’t find out that I cry they’ll make fun of me for the rest of my life.” Carter stood and pulled her into a hug “It’s all going to be okay Nash. Travis will work out his issues, your going to get back on your feet, Sawyer will be here for Nolan in a few weeks, the seasons gonna start and everything will be peachy okay?”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.” He hooked his pinky in hers and shook it, before he reached over and handed her a tissue “Now stop crying. Let’s finish unpacking.”

**************

Travis was across town, blissfully unaware of the pinky promise Carter had just made about him working out his issues, because he was doing the exact opposite.

“Okay I think you’ve had enough.” Nolan said pulling the glass out of Travis’s hand and pushing it away from him. Travis scowled and reached for it.

“I’m not a baby Pat.”

“Then stop acting like one. What is going on with you? Is this about Nash moving out?”

“No. I don’t care about that. I don’t care about her.”

“That’s not true-“

“It is. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about me so why should I?”

“Don’t say things like that. Your mad she moved out, and I get it but that doesn’t give you a free pass to hate her for it.” Nolan was frowning at him, which wasn’t uncommon but this wasn’t the usual “Don’t act like a dumbass” frown. This was more of a “I’m disappointed in you dumbass” frown. He hated it.

“Whatever.” He turned and looked around, eyes landing on a brunette that had been trying to get his attention for the last hour.

“Travis.” Nolan warned in a low voice “That’s not a good idea.”

“Why? Worked for you didn’t it?”

Nolan’s face got red and he looked angry for a second “That was different.”

“Yeah okay. So you can fuck some girl to get over your ‘best friend’ and I can’t? What the hell is that about? You wanna keep lying and say you don’t like her fine you do that. But don’t be a hypocrite okay?”

“You know what? Fine. You do whatever you have to but I won’t be have any part of this.” Nolan stood and left without another word but Travis really didn’t care.

He couldn’t believe Nolan didn’t understand, or maybe didn’t want to, how he was feeling. He’d never outright admitted how he felt about Sawyer but of course Travis knew. Just a month or so prior Nolan could get drunk and take someone home and now he was advising against Travis doing the same thing. What a dick.

Travis turned back to glance at the brunette again and sighed.

He did not of course end up leaving with her, but rather left by himself and went home to his empty apartment.

He hated it.

It was too quiet, too empty. He hadn’t seen her since she left and he didn’t know if he could. He had promised her just a few days ago that he was back in her life for good, and now he was here too afraid to face her.

He huffed and sat down on his sofa. The room was spinning, his head hurt, and his heart was sad. He tipped over sideways and fell asleep on his sofa.

**************

“Hey.” Nolan said with a smile.

“Hi.” Sawyer was smiling at him on the other end of the screen, seated presumably on her bed at home. He could see rain hitting the window behind her.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. Getting excited. How about you?”

“Same. Are you all packed and ready?”

“Mostly. Just a few small things left to do. I can’t wait to see you.” She said smiling. She had her glasses on and he could faintly hear the tv in the background.

“Me too. it’ll be nice to see each other everyday again. Like old times.”

“Hopefully better than some of the old times. I’m really looking forward to meeting your teammates and watching you play.”

“Yeah they’re excited to meet you. Especially now that they know your actually real and not my imaginary friend.” Nolan smiled.

She laughed and shook her head “How do you know I’m not?”

“Shutup.” He leaned back on his bed and for a minute his mind drifted back to Travis.

“Are you okay?” He glanced at the phone. Sawyer was frowning a little bit, eyebrows knotted together “Seems like something is bothering you.”

“I’m alright. Travis is going through some things and I’m trying to help him but it seems like he doesn’t want it.”

She pursed her lips “I think he probably wants your help, but maybe doesn’t realize he needs it yet.”

Nolan nodded. He wasn’t about to tell her about the conversation with Travis at the bar. He’d sworn him to secrecy about it because he didn’t want Sawyer to know. He hoped Travis wasn’t out making the same mistake he had. Nolan had been keeping his secret for a long time, but he’d never had to compete with a boyfriend either. He was able to keep his composure where Travis couldn’t because Nolan never had to worry about another guy coming into Sawyers life. While it was selfish, he couldn’t just admit out loud that he’d been harboring elephant sized feelings for his best friend.

And when he’d taken that girl home, he regretted it so deeply it made him sick. To think he’d done that to try and put a bandaid on something so serious made him wanna punch himself in his own face. And that’s exactly why he didn’t deserve her.

He sighed and cleared his throat, averting the conversation to something else, still thinking vaguely about Travis.

**********

Travis stood and stretched, feeling a wave of nausea as he did and immediately sat back down.

He was thankful that he was in his own apartment and not someone else’s, and then panicked a minute hoping he hadn’t brought anyone home, but the silence told him that he was alone.

Thank god.

He blew out a breath and closed his eyes, rolling to his side to face the back of the couch. While the evening before was fuzzy, he had some recollection of what had happened.

He had to make an apology to Pat at some point, for bringing up something he promised he’d never talk about again, and for acting like a colossal dick when he was only trying to help. He knew what it was like to be Nolan, and he shouldn’t have mocked that. It was wrong.

Everything was wrong. It was his own fault really. He was just on such a high from finally having unlimited access to his best friend again he forgot how long they hadn’t been 100% in each others lives. He wasn’t sure why he expected her to just bounce back from everything that had happened to her, but it was wrong. It would take time, and he should have realized that she need more time. And that the last thing she was thinking about was jumping into anything with him when she’d just come out of hell. It hurt, but it was no one’s hurt but his own.

He felt a sharp pain in his chest and winced, wondering if he would feel this way forever about Nash leaving.

And then he realized that it wasn’t the pain of her leaving, but rather the pain of the vomit that was bubbling up his throat.

**********

“She really didn’t know?” Libby asked Carter as he sat on their sofa and told her and Joel all about the events of the afternoon previously.

“I don’t think she had any idea honestly. She seemed pretty clueless as to why Haysey yelled at her.”

Libby frowned so deep, her lips might fall off her face and her eyes narrowed, eyebrows coming together low over her eyes “He yelled at her?” She said slowly, leaning forward unblinking.

Carter coughed “Uh it wasn’t a yell I guess, more of a stern talking to-“ but Libby wasn’t buying it.

Joel rolled his eyes “You dumbass.”

“He better not be yelling at her in front of me. No one better yell at her after what she’s been through.”

“I agree. He didn’t really yell though, I think he’s just trying to back TK up is all.”

“I know and that’s great for Kevin, but he needs to remember what she’s been going through. Of course she’s not thinking about Travis liking her. I mean really. She only just finished antibiotics, the last thing she’s thinking about is anyone having any romantic feelings about her. So Kevin can shut up and stay out of it.” Libby crossed her arms. Joel put a hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s all going to be-“

But at that moment the door opened and Kevin himself walked in completely unannounced.

Libby jumped from her seat and crossed the room like lighting, cornering Kevin before Joel could say or do anything. Kevin backed up, bumping into the wall as he did. Carter remained seated, not wanting to be involved.

“I heard you yelled at Nash.” She said arms folded across her chest.

“I didn’t yell at her. But she-“

“I don’t wanna hear it. You have no idea what she’s going through and you don’t have any right to push her into anything.”

Libby was right. Kevin should have stayed out of it. He was really only coming at it out of his friendship for Travis but it was selfish of him to think that Nash would be ready for anything after what just happened to her.

“I know I just-I just feel like-“ he fumbled over his words, but Libby continued to frown.

“We’d all love to see Travis make her happy. But she’s not ready and he and everyone else needs to accept that and let her be.” Libby added the last part very sternly, looking at Carter who looked at his hands. The whole thing was such a mess, and he didn’t like thinking or talking about it.

In the back of her mind though she hoped Nash would be ready to soon, because she didn’t know how much more Travis’s heart would be able to take.

**********

Nash answered the knock on her door and was more than surprised to find Travis on the other side. He looked a little awkward but smiled when he saw her.

“Can we talk?”

Nash stepped aside and allowed him to pass her. She closed the door and turned to find him looking around.

“This place is really nice.” He said quietly, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Yeah it is. Starting to feel like home I guess.” She said with a shrug. She was so happy to see him, and a little relieved. After the second day of his absence she was starting to get worried she may never see him again.

He nodded “Yeah. That’s good.” She gestured for him to sit, and sat down tentatively next to him.

It was quiet for a few seconds before he cleared his throat “I know how hard this has been for you.” He said quietly, meeting her eye for the first time “Believe me I do. And I’ve tried to be there for you, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job? Which is why I’m confused about why you left. Was it me?” He turned to look at her, eyes clouded with hurt. It made her want to cry.

“Oh Travis.” She scooted closer and grabbed his hand “It wasn’t you. I loved living with you at the apartment. I did. But I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet. I spent the last year and a half relying on Justin for everything, including my happiness. And it wasn’t fair to myself or you to do that. It wasn’t you I promise.”

“You can always lean on me. I just wanna be there for you is all. And I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you this week, I was just confused and a little hurt by your sudden move to be honest.” He sighed and looked at his hands.

“I know. And I’m sorry it was so sudden. I knew that if I didn’t do it now I wouldn’t ever.”

“You could have stayed forever. I wouldn’t have minded.” He said softly.

Nash swallowed thickly and cleared her throat “I’m still here Trav. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You did though. I just want you to be happy. Are you? Happy?”

Nash bit her lip and shrugged, eyes moving to look out the window “I’m surviving, but I’m not happy.”

“What would make you happy Nash? Good friends? A great support system? Someone to lean on? Because I can be all those things for you. I want to be those things.” He was looking at her desperately, and it made her heart hurt so bad it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“You have been. You are. You will always be”. Her voice cracked at the end “I just need to learn to stand on my own two feet for a change. I promise, I’m here to stay.” He was still looking at her sadly so she smiled at him.

For the first time in a while he saw a very faint glimmer of a real smile from her. It filled him with what could only be described as hope, that someday she might come back to him. He reached forward to grip her hand and gave it a squeeze “I’ll be here. However long it takes you. You know that right? No matter what?”

She squeezed his hand back “That’s good. Because I’m going to need you.”

He smiled and then leaned back on her couch “What I need is food. I’m starving can we please go eat I-“

She laughed and nodded “Okay Trav.”

It would take a while, and there would be tears and trouble and long days ahead of her. Her journey to recovery wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t always feel good to rediscover who she was without Justin. Some days would be high, others low but she was so thankful that she had him. She smiled a little as she watched him stand still jabbering about food.

Travis Konecny was a beautiful soul.

[barnesafterglow]

can't wait to have you

summary: you love carter, and carter can never wait to have you

pairing: carter baizen x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

warnings: first person pov, sex in a public setting, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), the gossip girl timeline is blurry but these are all adults i promise, rich kids being rich kids, implied voyeurism

a/n: here's another installment of kinktober! i know it's past the usual dates but i loved all these prompts so much and i wanted to make sure i got all of them. this is also my first time writing a fic in first person, so i hope it's good! thank you to anyone who's still reading, and please make sure to reblog and comment if you enjoyed!

you can follow @theafterglowlibrary to stay updated on when i post!🤍

kinktober masterlist ─ main masterlist

“Stop that,” I hissed as I slapped Carter’s hands away. “You do realize that my grandmother is right across the room?”

“Baby, half your family is in this room,” he said as he crept his hand back up the material of my dress.

When I asked Carter to come with me to this charity event tonight, I made him swear there would be no funny business. I shivered as I remembered the last time I had let him come to an event with me - it ended with me wrapped in a blanket, half-naked, in the back of a police car, and the loss of a pair of very expensive shoes. Not to even mention the bail I had to post for Carter in the morning.

I was not letting that happen again. But I was also a sucker for Carter Baizen.

“And you can put your hands wherever you want after,'' I said as I grabbed his hand and shoved it into his lap, “we get through the night.”

“You’re no fun when your mom is around.”

“My mom isn’t fun to be around.” And, as if she could hear me besmirching her name, she appeared on the other end of the table.

“Dear, why don’t you come with me?” It wasn’t a suggestion, no matter how polite she made it seem. “I have someone I want you to meet.”

She turned to walk away, knowing I had no choice but to follow, and of course she headed directly towards Nate Archibald. 

Nate and I had never dated - his parents had been planning on him marrying Blair since the moment he was born - but my mother seemed dead set on changing their minds. No matter the fact that I had been dating Carter since I was 18, right after he got through his “I’m giving up the family money and creating my own fate” phase, which, let’s be honest, was not his smartest move.

“Nate,” I greeted politely as I approached him and Blair. “Blair, I’ve missed you.”

I gave her an air kiss on each cheek and pulled her in for a tight hug, whispering in her ear, “I’m sorry in advance for whatever bullshit my mother is about to say.”

She laughed, squeezing around my shoulders before pulling away.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Despite what nearly everyone in our lives thought - though we never gave them any reason to - Blair and I had always been good friends. It had been rocky for a bit, when my mother first started to push Nate and I together. But she quickly realized I had no interest in him outside of keeping my mother off my ass, and her, Serena, and I bonded closely. Nothing like insane mothers to bring three girls together.

In addition to not caring about Nate, I had been in love with Carter for as long as I could remember. Long before he had become mine.

Speaking of, I turned my head to look back at him - even as Nate and I chatted in order to appease my mother - but my heart dropped when I saw he wasn’t at our table anymore.

Then I felt his warm hand on my waist, and the worry melted from my body.

“Sorry to steal her away, but there’s something urgent she has to attend to.” The smugness in his voice was evident even without seeing the smirk on his face, and I rolled my eyes.

“You know how Carter is, can’t go five minutes without my attention,” I laughed, pressing a kiss to Nate’s cheek and saying my goodbyes before linking my hand with Carter’s and letting him pull me along. 

Of course, he was headed straight for the double doors that led to the lobby of The Empire.

“Baby, what are you doing? I can’t leave yet.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not leaving.” Right outside the doors, he pulled you into a dimly lit hallway, and I knew exactly where this was heading.

“Carter, no.” But the giddiness in my voice betrayed my real feelings as he pushed me against the wall, lips coming down over mine.

I could already feel his hand rucking the skirt of my dress up, wrapping my leg around his waist.

His lips moved down my jaw, latching onto my neck. I was glad for the cool weather finally coming down in the city so I could wear a turtleneck and not have to face the speculation of the tabloids - they were forever trying to say Carter or I were cheating on each other, despite the fact that he had been my first and would be my last.

“Look so pretty, baby, you can’t expect me to keep my hands to myself,” he said hotly against my exposed collarbone, leaving a mark there too.

“Can you not wait for me to at least grab my coat and get home?”

“Absolutely not.” And I believed him without a doubt. He was insatiable.

One hand remained on my waist while the other slid under my dress, tracing its way along my thigh until he reached my core.

“You’re not even wearing any panties, don’t tell me you don’t want this.”

“Of course I want it, asshole. I always want you.” My hands came up to his shoulders, pushing lightly. “Now get on your knees or get off of me.”

He was quick to obey - he always was, with me, though no one would believe it unless they saw it. And without hesitation, he pushed the fabric of my dress up, lifting my leg to rest on his shoulder, until I was exposed to him.

He stared for a moment, as if I were something he hadn’t seen a thousand times, before he looked up at me, pressing a gentle kiss to my clit. That alone was enough to draw a whine from me.

That was another thing people didn’t expect - how gentle he was. Don’t get me wrong, he could manhandle me just as well, but he also loved to take it nice and slow, dragging out my pleasure until I was begging him.

Which, apparently, he was not interested in doing tonight. He wasn’t gentle for more than a second before he was completely buried in between my thighs. He lapped at my pussy like a man starving, expertly swirling his tongue around my clit while one hand pushed harshly on my hip to pin me to the wall and he slipped two fingers inside me with the other.

I had to bite down on my fist to keep my moan contained when a group of people walked out of the ballroom. It hit me then just how close we were to the potential of being caught. The light of the opened door stopped mere inches before it could expose our figures, and that only served to turn Carter on even more.

He moved his mouth with even more vigor, and I gripped his hair and clenched my teeth as I came around his fingers.

As I came down from my orgasm, he wasted no time in standing up - keeping my leg to wrap around his waist again - and unbuckling his pants as he kissed me.

I moaned again at the taste of myself on his lips and he swallowed the sound. He kept his lips steadily moving against mine as he pushed into me, and the sweet burn of him stretching me out was dizzying.

He rocked his hips, still keeping his lips on mine, and I whimpered into his mouth. No matter how many times I had him, he never failed to make my head spin with pleasure. 

That was the best thing about being with someone for so long - you got to know each other so well that making the other feel good was second nature.

Because of the time constraint, he moved even more quickly than normal, reaching his hand between us to rub circles on my clit, and I dropped my head onto his shoulder, letting the feeling build inside me until the tightly wound coil in me snapped.

The feeling of me squeezing around him pushed Carter over the edge and his thrusts stuttered until he was spilling into me, still pumping his hips until he was so oversensitive he let out a pitiful moan.

When he finally pulled out, he kept his hand on my center, using two fingers to push his release back into me.

“Can’t let my girl walk around all messy,” he said, kissing me sweetly, as if that wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

I rolled my eyes and helped him fix his pants, slipping my hand into his to step back into the light, when I saw Chuck Bass standing right outside the doors to the ballroom.

“Thanks for the show,” he said, patting Carter on the back as he walked past us.

kinktober taglist *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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