#miquela hard feelings

[waytray]

Miquela - Hard Feelings (Official Music Video)

[musicdailymix817]

Miquela - Hard Feelings 

[our2sidegirl]

miquela-hard feeling (male version) source 

image source :   https://ether-f-cahier.tumblr.com/post/619447401943580672/sad 

original video music  : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39y9dzAwkv4

[bustedpixels]

Miquela // Hard Feelings (2020) 🤖⚡ ♥

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

In late November, the Justice Department unsealed indictments against eight people accused of fleecing advertisers of $36 million in two of the largest digital ad-fraud operations ever uncovered. Digital advertisers tend to want two things: people to look at their ads and “premium” websites — i.e., established and legitimate publications — on which to host them. The two schemes at issue in the case, dubbed Methbot and 3ve by the security researchers who found them, faked both. Hucksters infected 1.7 million computers with malware that remotely directed traffic to “spoofed” websites — “empty websites designed for bot traffic” that served up a video ad purchased from one of the internet’s vast programmatic ad-exchanges, but that were designed, according to the indictments, “to fool advertisers into thinking that an impression of their ad was served on a premium publisher site,” like that of Vogue or The Economist. Views, meanwhile, were faked by malware-infected computers with marvelously sophisticated techniques to imitate humans: bots “faked clicks, mouse movements, and social network login information to masquerade as engaged human consumers.” Some were sent to browse the internet to gather tracking cookies from other websites, just as a human visitor would have done through regular behavior. Fake people with fake cookies and fake social-media accounts, fake-moving their fake cursors, fake-clicking on fake websites — the fraudsters had essentially created a simulacrum of the internet, where the only real things were the ads.

How much of the internet is fake? Studies generally suggest that, year after year, less than 60 percent of web traffic is human; some years, according to some researchers, a healthy majority of it is bot. For a period of time in 2013, the Times reported this year, a full half of YouTube traffic was “bots masquerading as people,” a portion so high that employees feared an inflection point after which YouTube’s systems for detecting fraudulent traffic would begin to regard bot traffic as real and human traffic as fake. They called this hypothetical event “the Inversion.”

In the future, when I look back from the high-tech gamer jail in which President PewDiePie will have imprisoned me, I will remember 2018 as the year the internet passed the Inversion, not in some strict numerical sense, since bots already outnumber humans online more years than not, but in the perceptual sense. The internet has always played host in its dark corners to schools of catfish and embassies of Nigerian princes, but that darkness now pervades its every aspect: Everything that once seemed definitively and unquestionably real now seems slightly fake; everything that once seemed slightly fake now has the power and presence of the real. The “fakeness” of the post-Inversion internet is less a calculable falsehood and more a particular quality of experience — the uncanny sense that what you encounter online is not “real” but is also undeniably not “fake,” and indeed may be both at once, or in succession, as you turn it over in your head.

The metrics are fake.                        

Take something as seemingly simple as how we measure web traffic. Metrics should be the most real thing on the internet: They are countable, trackable, and verifiable, and their existence undergirds the advertising business that drives our biggest social and search platforms. Yet not even Facebook, the world’s greatest data–gathering organization, seems able to produce genuine figures. In October, small advertisers filed suit against the social-media giant, accusing it of covering up, for a year, its significant overstatements of the time users spent watching videos on the platform (by 60 to 80 percent, Facebook says; by 150 to 900 percent, the plaintiffs say). According to an exhaustive list at MarketingLand, over the past two years Facebook has admitted to misreporting the reach of posts on Facebook Pages (in two different ways), the rate at which viewers complete ad videos, the average time spent reading its “Instant Articles,” the amount of referral traffic from Facebook to external websites, the number of views that videos received via Facebook’s mobile site, and the number of video views in Instant Articles.

Can we still trust the metrics? After the Inversion, what’s the point? Even when we put our faith in their accuracy, there’s something not quite real about them: My favorite statistic this year was Facebook’s claim that 75 million people watched at least a minute of Facebook Watch videos every day — though, as Facebook admitted, the 60 seconds in that one minute didn’t need to be watched consecutively. Real videos, real people, fake minutes.

The people are fake.                        

And maybe we shouldn’t even assume that the people are real. Over at YouTube, the business of buying and selling video views is “flourishing,” as the Times reminded readers with a lengthy investigation in August. The company says only “a tiny fraction” of its traffic is fake, but fake subscribers are enough of a problem that the site undertook a purge of “spam accounts” in mid-December. These days, the Times found, you can buy 5,000 YouTube views — 30 seconds of a video counts as a view — for as low as $15; oftentimes, customers are led to believe that the views they purchase come from real people. More likely, they come from bots. On some platforms, video views and app downloads can be forged in lucrative industrial counterfeiting operations. If you want a picture of what the Inversion looks like, find a video of a “click farm”: hundreds of individual smartphones, arranged in rows on shelves or racks in professional-looking offices, each watching the same video or downloading the same app.

This is obviously not real human traffic. But what would real human traffic look like? The Inversion gives rise to some odd philosophical quandaries: If a Russian troll using a Brazilian man’s photograph to masquerade as an American Trump supporter watches a video on Facebook, is that view “real”? Not only do we have bots masquerading as humans and humans masquerading as other humans, but also sometimes humans masquerading as bots, pretending to be “artificial-intelligence personal assistants,” like Facebook’s “M,” in order to help tech companies appear to possess cutting-edge AI. We even have whatever CGI Instagram influencer Lil Miquela is: a fake human with a real body, a fake face, and real influence. Even humans who aren’t masquerading can contort themselves through layers of diminishing reality: The Atlantic reports that non-CGI human influencers are posting fake sponsored content — that is, content meant to look like content that is meant to look authentic, for free — to attract attention from brand reps, who, they hope, will pay them real money.

The businesses are fake.                        

The money is usually real. Not always — ask someone who enthusiastically got into cryptocurrency this time last year — but often enough to be an engine of the Inversion. If the money is real, why does anything else need to be? Earlier this year, the writer and artist Jenny Odell began to look into an Amazon reseller that had bought goods from other Amazon resellers and resold them, again on Amazon, at higher prices. Odell discovered an elaborate network of fake price-gouging and copyright-stealing businesses connected to the cultlike Evangelical church whose followers resurrected Newsweek in 2013 as a zombie search-engine-optimized spam farm. She visited a strange bookstore operated by the resellers in San Francisco and found a stunted concrete reproduction of the dazzlingly phony storefronts she’d encountered on Amazon, arranged haphazardly with best-selling books, plastic tchotchkes, and beauty products apparently bought from wholesalers. “At some point I began to feel like I was in a dream,” she wrote. “Or that I was half-awake, unable to distinguish the virtual from the real, the local from the global, a product from a Photoshop image, the sincere from the insincere.”

                                       The content is fake.                        

The only site that gives me that dizzying sensation of unreality as often as Amazon does is YouTube, which plays host to weeks’ worth of inverted, inhuman content. TV episodes that have been mirror-flipped to avoid copyright takedowns air next to huckster vloggers flogging merch who air next to anonymously produced videos that are ostensibly for children. An animated video of Spider-Man and Elsa from Frozen riding tractors is not, you know, not real: Some poor soul animated it and gave voice to its actors, and I have no doubt that some number (dozens? Hundreds? Millions? Sure, why not?) of kids have sat and watched it and found some mystifying, occult enjoyment in it. But it’s certainly not “official,” and it’s hard, watching it onscreen as an adult, to understand where it came from and what it means that the view count beneath it is continually ticking up.

These, at least, are mostly bootleg videos of popular fictional characters, i.e., counterfeit unreality. Counterfeit reality is still more difficult to find—for now. In January 2018, an anonymous Redditor created a relatively easy-to-use desktop-app implementation of “deepfakes,” the now-infamous technology that uses artificial-intelligence image processing to replace one face in a video with another — putting, say, a politician’s over a porn star’s. A recent academic paper from researchers at the graphics-card company Nvidia demonstrates a similar technique used to create images of computer-generated “human” faces that look shockingly like photographs of real people. (Next time Russians want to puppeteer a group of invented Americans on Facebook, they won’t even need to steal photos of real people.) Contrary to what you might expect, a world suffused with deepfakes and other artificially generated photographic images won’t be one in which “fake” images are routinely believed to be real, but one in which “real” images are routinely believed to be fake — simply because, in the wake of the Inversion, who’ll be able to tell the difference?

                                       Our politics are fake.                        

Such a loss of any anchoring “reality” only makes us pine for it more. Our politics have been inverted along with everything else, suffused with a Gnostic sense that we’re being scammed and defrauded and lied to but that a “real truth” still lurks somewhere. Adolescents are deeply engaged by YouTube videos that promise to show the hard reality beneath the “scams” of feminism and diversity — a process they call “red-pilling” after the scene in The Matrix when the computer simulation falls away and reality appears. Political arguments now involve trading accusations of “virtue signaling” — the idea that liberals are faking their politics for social reward — against charges of being Russian bots. The only thing anyone can agree on is that everyone online is lying and fake.

                                       We ourselves are fake.                        

Which, well. Everywhere I went online this year, I was asked to prove I’m a human. Can you retype this distorted word? Can you transcribe this house number? Can you select the images that contain a motorcycle? I found myself prostrate daily at the feet of robot bouncers, frantically showing off my highly developed pattern-matching skills — does a Vespa count as a motorcycle, even? — so I could get into nightclubs I’m not even sure I want to enter. Once inside, I was directed by dopamine-feedback loops to scroll well past any healthy point, manipulated by emotionally charged headlines and posts to click on things I didn’t care about, and harried and hectored and sweet-talked into arguments and purchases and relationships so algorithmically determined it was hard to describe them as real.

Where does that leave us? I’m not sure the solution is to seek out some pre-Inversion authenticity — to red-pill ourselves back to “reality.” What’s gone from the internet, after all, isn’t “truth,” but trust: the sense that the people and things we encounter are what they represent themselves to be. Years of metrics-driven growth, lucrative manipulative systems, and unregulated platform marketplaces, have created an environment where it makes more sense to be fake online — to be disingenuous and cynical, to lie and cheat, to misrepresent and distort — than it does to be real. Fixing that would require cultural and political reform in Silicon Valley and around the world, but it’s our only choice. Otherwise we’ll all end up on the bot internet of fake people, fake clicks, fake sites, and fake computers, where the only real thing is the ads.

[motioncollector]

Miquela - Automatic (Official Lyric Video) via https://youtu.be/3k5q04dQbqI // 🎶 STREAM 💕AUTOMATIC 🎶 ►https://miquela.ffm.to/automatic 🤑 MONEY 📀 MUSIC VIDEO 🎶 ►https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gnHYLRtCGk You ever fall in love soooo hard you just wanna d a n c e ?? ✨💿 I got my friends from all around the world to move to my new single “AUTOMATIC” 🤖🎶 Show me your “AUTOMATIC” dance!! Tell me what you think in the comments 💕☁️ Special thanks to my friends for making this happen 💫 Lexy Panterra ➡️https://www.instagram.com/lexypanterra Official Versatile DC ➡️https://www.instagram.com/officialversatiledc/ Evelio ➡️https://www.instagram.com/evelionotariocuenca/ Shiori Takakura ➡️https://www.instagram.com/shiori_takakura/ Aoi Takakura ➡️https://www.instagram.com/aoi_takakura Shido ➡️https://www.instagram.com/shido_410 Yuta Nissy ➡️https://www.instagram.com/_yuta_nissy Tae Wit Dem Hitz ➡️https://www.instagram.com/taewitdemhitz Isabel ➡️https://www.instagram.com/_isabae_ Eli Get Lit ➡️https://www.instagram.com/eli_get_lit Charlize ➡️https://www.instagram.com/charlizeglass Matteo ➡️https://www.instagram.com/matteomeeb Montina Twins ➡️https://www.instagram.com/montina_twinz Cassidy J ➡️https://www.instagram.com/casssidy_j Kate iHow ➡️https://www.instagram.com/kate_ihow Carl XS ➡️https://www.instagram.com/carl.xs Chanelle ➡️https://www.instagram.com/chanelleannelim Hara Channe Written by Miquela Sousa and Sam Dew Produced by Jasper Harris and Rodaidh McDonald Mixed by Jon Castelli Assisted by Ingmar Carlson Mastered by Dale Becker Artwork by Élise Rigollet Lyrics: Didn't take much not for me Everything hit naturally And all I know is we got to be Got to be I got to see it It's moving like a mile a minute I wasn’t ready, but you said you’re in it Caught you at the corner right before we finished But you know it's on sight you can have it all It’s automatic It was as soon as I saw you It's automatic now 2x It’s automatic I’ll give all of my love to you It's automatic now 2x You know it's on sight you can have it all night You could have it all You don't gotta ask twice you don’t gotta be nice You could have it all 2x It won’t take too long to see And I just wanna give you all of me And I come too far to leave We got to be I got to see it It’s feeling like a new beginning It’s all so heavy but you get me lifted Thought you might be over it the more you get it Got you coming right back, you might make me fall It’s automatic It was as soon as I saw you It's automatic now 2x It’s automatic I’ll give all of my love to you It's automatic now 2x You know it's on sight you can have it all night You could have it all You don't gotta ask twice you don’t gotta be nice You could have it all 2x The more you get The more you make me glow You should see me in the night What a sight to behold Like northern lights Just enjoy the show You're saying oh my god Are you ready or not #Automatic #NewMusic

[long-arm-stapler]

S2 EP1: Miquela Davis

Maira (00:00):

Hello! Uh, welcome to Long Arm Stapler, a podcast about zines, back with season two, after a long hiatus. Today, I am joined by Miquela Davis and I will let you introduce yourself.

Miquela (00:33):

Hi, I'm Miquela Davis and I'm super excited to be on this podcast with you today.

Maira (00:40):

Awesome. I'm really looking forward to starting to record again. Um, like I mentioned, I took a 16 month break from recording just because the world was a lot and uh, yeah, February 2021 back in action. Yeah. So I have with me, um, two of, one of your, your book, pup provisions, a copy of Miq's mix volume two a music themed zine. Do you want to talk about either of those or anything you've been working on lately.

Miquela (01:21):

Um, I actually liked those choices that you already have, um, because those are actually my favorite things that I've done. Um, the, the favorite things that I've published at least, um, which is funny, cause I also make a comic called cool dog that some people may have picked up, at like zine fests, but I really loved the Miq's mix. Uh, I made two of them, but the second one is my favorite because it features a bunch of like music themed comics and illustrations, and just has the loose theme of music. And then put provisions is the most recent thing that I made and that's like an actual book. Um, and it has illustrations of different dog breeds, um, in alphabetical order, along with snacks that start with the same letter as the dog breed, if that makes sense. Yeah. So that one took me. How long did it take me to draw? I think I did like a drawing every day for that. And it started as a drawing, um, exercise for me. And then I decided to compile it into a book because people wanted it. And then, um, I wanted to kind of get back into zine making, but it ended up being more of a like actual published. It's more nice looking.

Maira (02:34):

You have like a hard cover.

Miquela (02:37):

Yeah. I just, I just went on like Shutterfly and got it published that way. Oh, so it's still DIY, but it's it's way nicer quality than my like Xerox stuff.

Maira (02:47):

Yeah. I have not ventured into the world of anything but Xerox, but it's exciting. Yeah. What do you, I remember seeing your daily drawing challenges and I was like, Oh, this is really cool. I love dogs. I love snacks. Um, and then you were like, I'm going to make a book. I was like, all right, I'm going to get a copy. Um, I think my favorite is D for docs and I'm a little biased because I have a dachshund.

Miquela (03:17):

Yes. And your dachshund is adorable.

Maira (03:20):

and she's very much like your dog. Yeah.

Miquela (03:23):

Yeah. I feel like our dogs are such kindred spirits and like they've never met, but I feel like they have a connection it's like weird.

Maira (03:32):

Yeah. They would probably hang out in the dog park. Yeah. So, so far I've only ever interviewed people in the Bay, in my living room. Um, so this is exciting because obviously we're not in the same place right now. Um, you are based in Southern California yes. And pre COVID. Or can you talk about like the zine scene pre COVID?

Miquela (04:00):

Yeah, definitely. I could talk about the zine scene pre zine scene here. Really? How far back do you want me to go? I'm sure. I remember growing up and like I heard about zines through a book from my uncle when I was like 16 and he went to school with Mark Todd, um, who wrote, co-wrote a book called what you mean? What's a zine? Um, so they were like college buds and Mark Todd is I think still based in LA and he's an artist there with his partner, Esther Pearl Watson. And so they're both zine makers. They decided to make this book about how to make scenes. And so, because I heard about it that way, there was like nothing in orange County that was Xen based. As far as I saw at the time I had to go to like LA I saw some zines in like some record stores every so often, but it wasn't really a thing here.

Miquela (04:58):

And I gravitated towards Portland, Oregon because of that, I was like, Oh, I'm going to get out of orange County. I'm going to get out of Southern California and head towards where I saw zines being made at the time. And this was like early two thousands. Um, so then when I came back from living in Portland, that was around 2014, 2015, and I don't know how the orange County zine Fest came to be, but it popped up, I believe in 2014, I wasn't at the very first one and the very first zine Fest. I don't even remember where that was held, but then I found them and I applied to the second one, I believe in 2015. And I've been involved with the OC zine fest ever since. Um, I participated in it that one, uh, and the long beach one. And I sort of just found that there were a bunch of zine Fests popping up and I was able to find them through social media. Uh, social media was like a huge player in me getting involved in it. I don't think I would have been able to find it otherwise.

Maira (06:04):

Yeah. I have a similar experience with social media. I got into zines through tumblr and I really wasn't able to find zine fests nearby until, I mean, obviously I started looking for them and we have a few in the Bay area, but like Instagram and back when I used Facebook were very helpful in like finding zines.

Miquela (06:31):

Yeah. And the Bay area too was like one of those places when I was like a teenager or a young adult, like now I'm 30. So like I'm talking like, you know, 10 years ago, I feel like 10 years ago the Bay area had more, but you probably would know that more than me, but I, I feel like, you know, 10 years ago there was at least that community there.

Maira (06:53):

Yeah. I mean EBABZ, um, the East Bay alternative Book and zine Fest that I helped organize. This was our 11th year. And so, and I didn't even start getting involved in that until 2014, I believe. Um, that was the first time I ever tabled. Was at EBABZ 201- It doesn't sound, it doesn't sound right. But I think it's true. Yeah. Yeah. I, I'm learning more about the Bay areas and seeing more and more like every, not every day, but every time I go looking for stuff and it's really cool that there are so many zine fests everywhere. Um, and a lot of them have been able to pivot to online, which I think is really cool over the last year.

Miquela (07:42):

Yeah. That's been really cool to see and you're right about like these zine scenes that have been around, but then you just find out more about them. Like I found that too. It's like, Oh, you really stayed underground. Like, I'm only hearing about like these scenes that have been in existence for a long period of time, but it's like, we're only really hearing about them through like the internet and then word of mouth. Once you get involved, you're like, Oh, there's been like a zine Fest in the inland empire for years. I had no idea. It's cool. I like it.

Maira (08:15):

Yeah. zines, I think has always been very word of mouth for me. Um, and I liked that about them. Just, they're not super commercial. I mean, I, I feel like nobody's really in zines to make money.

Miquela (08:31):

No, it's for the love of them for sure.

Maira (08:33):

Yeah. And so I like the they're still predominantly, I don't know if they're still predominantly underground events because you know, they do get publicity, but I like, I love actually just how DIY things have stayed.

Maira (08:54):

Yeah. Even in the internet age with social media and then also like even programs where you can make, zines more digital. I love seeing artists make zines, still this kind of like old school Xerox machine, um, the risograph, like that's become super popular. I've seen with zines and that's kind of like an older art form, but it's become new again.

Maira (09:20):

Yeah. There's a lot of, um, riso like presses in the Bay area and it all looks so cool. I don't make art zines, so I guess, or at least make zines aren't predominantly like featuring art. And so I haven't kind of dipped my toes into that yet, but it seems like a really cool process. Just you have to like separate the images by color, I guess.

Miquela (09:50):

I'm not that familiar with it either. So I think you're right. Yeah. You have to separate it and you have to have them like, it's, it's kind of like, screen printing from my understanding and I, I don't even understand screen printing. I'm like very basic.

Maira (10:04):

Yeah, same. I don't, I feel like I don't put enough thought, like, I don't think ahead enough when I'm drawing to separate things by color. It's just like

Miquela (10:15):

Same.

Maira (10:17):

Let me take a Sharpie to a piece of paper. Yeah.

Miquela (10:20):

Yeah. I'm like, I just got a pen and a paper and that's usually how I make all of my zines. I just like sit down and I, I just draw and then I will compile it together later on. Um, you know, maybe I'll cut out like a page or two, if I'm like, nah, this doesn't really work, but it's just like pen paper. Don't really put much thought into it. And then bam just release it.

Maira (10:41):

Yeah. Sometimes it's best to like, not put that much thought into it in my own experience.

Miquela (10:47):

It's raw!

Maira (10:47):

Yeah. It's, I mean, I've definitely made zines where it's very, like, I don't know. I made a zine once that was writing. I did for a creative writing class. And so that was more polished, I guess, than anything else I've done. But it's usually just me kind of sitting at my computer, treating it like a live journal entry and just printing it out, stapling it together and letting people read it.

Miquela (11:17):

That's so cool too. Like just letting it be this like free flowing thought process. And like, I've always admired like the way that you make your zines because like, they're just so personal too.

Maira (11:31):

Yeah. I, I got started with perzines and I didn't really venture into like fanzines or anything with like drawings of my own until the last few years. But perzines are really like where I got my start, I guess.

Miquela (11:49):

Yeah. And I think that's how we met too, was like, I was drawn to your more personal zines and I was like, that's really cool. That's cool of you to like put yourself out there, like that.

Maira (12:00):

Yeah, I love to overshare on the internet, so why not do it with paper and some staples?

Miquela (12:06):

Exactly.

Maira (12:07):

Yeah. Because we met at a zine Fest. I think. I don't remember which one

Miquela (12:12):

I don't remember either. I was like sitting here and trying to think I'm like, I know it was at a zine fest. Like that's how we know each other. That's how we ended up here. But it's been, it's been a while and it's like one of those things where like, I've seen you now at so many, I feel where I can't remember like the first one either.

Maira (12:29):

And I remember the last long beach zine Fest that was held in person. We, it was like a power block of my table, my friend Andi and then you. And that was fun.

Miquela (12:42):

That was so much fun.

Maira (12:45):

And then my car broke down. So it was like fun up until heading home. Um, it was a disaster and I was like, wow, I wish I could just stay in Long Beach Zine Fest for a little while longer and not be living a nightmare. But

Miquela (13:00):

Yeah, I remember that too. I remember like seeing your Instagram posts and I was like, no, we were having so much fun.

Maira (13:10):

Yeah. Um, but you know, shit happens. Um, my car works again, so it's all good. Yeah. What else you've got, you've got an art show coming up that you're curating.

Miquela (13:24):

I Do. Yeah. Speaking of like zine fests and stuff. Like I miss them so much, but yeah. I curate an art show every year now since 2018. Um, I used to have a space that I could do it out of that my friend ran called riff mountain. And, um, I would curate art shows there every so often, but this crushes one is the one that I've done every Valentine's day for the past, like four years now. And the one coming up is the first virtual one, just because I was like, you know what? I've been wanting to get an art show together somehow during this whole COVID time period. But this one is special just because I was like, I can't not have crushes happen just because like, it means so much to me personally, the first year I did it, I co curated with a fellow artist. Uh, Meg Gonzalez, who is a local, you know, Southern California artists. And I think they've reached, you know, further than just Southern California. Like they're, I don't know. Like they just seem like a really, uh, poppin' artist, like more and more people are finding them. And I, I love that for them.

Maira (14:34):

Bug Club Supreme. Yes.

Miquela (14:37):

Yeah. They're, they're super cool. And so we co curated the first crushes show together. And then the second one I did myself last year I did with another artist, uh, Chantal Elise, who's just under like Chantal Elise art on, uh, Instagram. And then this year I'm just doing it myself and I'm doing it virtually. So like, it's going to be interesting. I'm super excited to see what happens, but we're basically going to do kind of like a live stream. I asked other artists to make like short videos of themselves and talk about themselves in their work. I only got one so far, so I might not be like super prevalent throughout the show, but my whole idea is that because we're going virtual, I would like to showcase artists more than you can do at a traditional art show. Like usually you're there and you're looking at their work, but you don't really get to know the artists behind it and like the story behind the work or the deeper meaning of it, like, you're just getting your own interpretation. So I was like, what can we do differently? Because it's going digital this time. And that's why I tried to include that in the like submission form.

Maira (15:50):

Yeah. It seems like it's going to be really cool. Um, what are you like hosting it on a specific platform or

Miquela (15:59):

I think we're going with youtube. I say we, because my roommate is helping me out with it. Um, we've been testing out different forms of software and I think YouTube might be where we end up. I initially was thinking like just a zoom call and I would like put together some sort of like, um, a slideshow or something, but that's, I don't know if that's really gonna work out. Um, so I actually don't know yet. We're still working out like, which one's going to be the best one for the whole show and for people to participate in, but also kind of be like an audience because the whole idea is like, we want it to be participatory, but also like where you're kind of watching a show happen, but have it partially recorded and partially in real time.

Maira (16:49):

Okay, that kind of Makes sense To me.

Miquela (16:51):

Yeah. I'm like, it's, it's a lot, like, it makes sense in my mind, like the recorded part would be, we have images of people's artwork and we would be, you know, showing that for like a few minutes at a time. And then maybe between each piece, like visual piece, we would have a recording of an artist talking about themselves and their work, kind of like an introduction to their work before we show it. Um, I know we have a couple live readers of poetry. We don't have a confirmed DJ set yet, but we have some recorded music that we can play. And if anybody during the show would like to, you know, maybe do any sort of live reading or live music or something, we're open to that as well. So that's the mix between like the recorded and then the live stuff.

Maira (17:38):

Oh, cool. Um, and so that's gonna be on Valentine's day, correct?

Miquela (17:42):

Yes. On Valentine's day still don't have a time sorted either. Like a lot of this happened now looking back and like, Oh, I kind of did this last minute. I wasn't really thinking of like a lot of the work that's going to go into making it digital because I'm so used to like doing it in person and kind of like winging it, you know, like day of it's like, all right, well, I know that I have all these artists signed up and I've done it for a few years now and everything's kind of just worked out, but now with the digital aspect to it, like I'm not super technologically, like I'm proficient, but I feel like a lot of these programs that I'm looking at, I'm like, I don't understand like this whole like live feed and putting in microphones and all this stuff like having, um, you know, the screen switch between one from another, like, it's, it's a lot, it's pretty daunting. So we also have a lot of artists tuning in, or like submitting stuff from other parts of the world.

Maira (18:39):

Oh wow.

Miquela (18:39):

Like that part has been really interesting to me this year. I think, because it's been opened up to being like, Oh, this is online. I don't have to like ship anything. I just have to send an email with some photos of my work. If I want to, I've gotten people from like the Netherlands. I've gotten people from the UK submitting work. So that's been really, really cool. And I want to make sure that they're included too, as part of like the little live stream that we do. So I'm trying to figure out like a good time for that and see if we can like record something for people to view later on if they can't make it

Maira (19:14):

Cool. And people still have time to submit, um, To that, correct?

Miquela (19:21):

Yeah. As of recording this right now? Um, yes. So the deadline is February 10th.

Maira (19:28):

Okay. Yeah, I can include, um, cause it was like a Google submission form. Yeah?

Miquela (19:35):

Pretty much. So the way that the submission process is working right now, like that's basically how I get people's names and then information. And I make like a spreadsheet of what they tell me that they're going to submit. So then that way I can keep track of it. But then to actually submit after that, they still have to send me like photo either photos of their visual work, or if they want to take a video, maybe you made a sculpture or something and you want to show it off. Like you can just take your phone out and like walk around the sculpture and get all these cool angles on it. And just like send me a video clip. Um, I'm really open to like any medium. Cause it seems like any one is possible. So yeah, people can just still submit that then to my email. And then my email, I don't mind giving it out. It's just MIQ U I D e e@gmail.com.

Maira (20:24):

Cool. And yeah, I will post that in the show notes as well. Um, so if people are interested in submitting, they can, I am excited about it because I have, I've made a sculpture sort of thing, which I haven't really done before. Um, but I submitted it and it's really cute and I'm excited for other people to see it.

Miquela (20:48):

Yeah. I'm very excited for it too.

Maira (20:52):

Yeah. I just haven't like made, I haven't really done any art stuff in the last year, so I've, that's, I mean, that's not true, but it feels true. Like, I haven't, I don't feel like I have much art to show for the last year, but it was really cool, like working with my hands again and just gluing all of those tiny hearts. I was going to sew them, but I was like, that's so much work.

Miquela (21:20):

That's so much more work. Wow. Yeah.

Maira (21:23):

And I have a crush on hot glue. So I was like, okay,

Miquela (21:27):

There you go. It's perfect.

Maira (21:29):

Yeah. It's a good tie in, um, for those of you wondering, I made a Crunchwrap Supreme filled with hearts.

Miquela (21:35):

It's incredible.

Maira (21:37):

Yeah. I'm really excited. I submitted something to the show last year too. And it was one of the first times I've ever like submitted my art anywhere.

Miquela (21:48):

Really? I didn't even know that. Yeah. You've submitted last year and I was like super excited about it. Cause you like mailed me your work.

Maira (21:54):

Yeah, that was, I think aside from the long arm stapler show that we did in September of 2019, that was like maybe the second or third time I'd ever shown my work in like a show setting. And so that was really exciting. And I remember you posted like videos of the show in person and photos. And I was just like, I think it was, it was on Valentine's day again. And I was just on my phone, like kind of ignoring my boyfriend. And I was like, look at my work, look at my work. I was really excited about it.

Miquela (22:31):

I love that! Oh my God. That is so cool. Yeah. I was super happy to have you participate, but I had no idea. And I had also seen that show that you did up there. Um, the long-arm stapler one that looked super cool too.

Maira (22:45):

Yeah, that was my first, uh, time running a show and also being in a show, I guess, we recorded, the last time we recorded this podcast actually was like at the close of that show. So it's been an interesting time to like think back on it and really reflect on how cool it was. And like we had, it was mostly people from the Bay. Um, we had someone from, I can't remember where they live, but they're on the East coast. They submitted work two people from Southern California submitted work. And one of them was actually came up with their kids to see the show opening night. So that was really exciting too.

Miquela (23:30):

That's so cool.

Maira (23:31):

Yeah. And like I had just recently started at my current job and some of my coworkers came out and my like family came and it was, it was really cool.

Miquela (23:42):

That's awesome.

Maira (23:44):

I can't wait to be able do that again.

Miquela (23:47):

Yeah. That's been a major thing and like, yeah, once you do that, like, cause you said that it was your first time, like being in a show and then making a show, like putting on a show. That's why we started even doing crushes like that. I think that was my first time to like showing my work in a sort of like not gallery setting. Cause like I wouldn't call it necessarily gallery. It's like a DIY space, but having like an art show sort of feel where it's like, all right, I'm putting a bunch of things on the wall and showing off people's work and it's hard to get into like galleries or I don't know, just like art shows in general. I feel like don't really happen much. How is it up there? Like, are there more art shows that happen kind of similar to the one that you put on?

Maira (24:32):

Honestly, I don't know. Just cause I'm not like super tuned into the art world, I guess. Um, just cause I mostly like my, my medium is predominantly zines. Um, so that was another cool thing about the show was it was all zine themed. Um, but my friends are opening a gallery in Oakland actually, um, called crisis club and they're going to do shows there once it's safe. And I'm really excited about that because I feel like in the last few years, the amount of DIY spaces in the Bay has kind of dwindled. Um, it's exciting to like see that revival happening, even if it's slow going. And even if we can't have access to these spaces for awhile.

Miquela (25:30):

Yeah. Like I'm hoping after this is all over, we see kind of like a Renaissance in a way of like artistic expression, you know, having these sort of DIY spaces and um, cause yeah, there's at least down here they're really non-existent. Um, but I know like in the Bay area, like I would hear about them either growing up or like even recently, like I saw your friend's space, um, just through your Instagram and I was like, Oh, that looks cool. So yeah. I'm just hoping that we see more once this is all over.

Maira (26:06):

Yeah. And I think especially because people would just been sitting at home making art or at least I hope they've been sitting at home making art.

Miquela (26:14):

Yeah. The sitting at home, especially.

Maira (26:16):

Yeah. If you're making art good for you, but like please sit at home. Um, but yeah, I'm really excited to kind of see what art, like physical art spaces are like in a post COVID society.

Miquela (26:33):

And I think too, we're going to be starved for socialization. So it would be interesting to see like art shows become more of an inclusive thing.

Maira (26:42):

I agree. What else? Uh, are you working on anything else right now?

Miquela (26:47):

I have a lot of ideas floating right now. I know that's like, that could mean anything. Um, I do want to make more cool dog, but I'm just kind of like, he's an interesting character for me. I sometimes will get ideas for cool dog and then sometimes there'll be like, I want nothing to do with cool dog. I want to like work on other stuff, but I know that he's what the people want. Um, but I find it hard, harder and harder now just because I'm like, what is cool? Like, he's kind of like a weird problematic character because like a lot of times like his coolness is, is like something that I don't necessarily agree with. Um, like he, I dunno like the fact that he like smokes cigarettes and like seemingly doesn't like care about other people. Like he just cares about the sake of being cool. Like that's not actually cool. So there's like lots of questions like surrounding it. Like it's very like philosophical for me now. Whereas like it just started as like, this is a stupid comic thing that I'm just going to do for the hell of it. And then it like turned into like this character that I have to actually think about. And that's what makes me be like, I don't even want to think about it. I don't even want to make it, but I can't let him go either. So that's a long way of me just saying like, yeah, there may be more cool dog in the future. I definitely want to work more on zines but yeah, quarantine, you know, I'm just kind of taking a break, especially after making pup provisions that took a lot of energy, but I also would really like to make a memoir like graphic novel about the early two thousands and like my first year of high school. So that's been something that I've been working on slowly.

Maira (28:31):

Oh cool. We're the same age. So that was probably what like 20, 2004.

Miquela (28:35):

Yes, exactly. It was. So I'm thinking like, yeah, like 2000. Yeah, actually it would take place in 2004 because I was going to say the end of eighth grade, beginning of high school. So yeah, 2004.

Maira (28:49):

What a time to be alive.

Miquela (28:49):

Yes. And especially now, like I think like I've revisited that time period a lot and I'm like, man, what a great time. And I'm thinking of actually ending it when I discover zines, which was when I was like 16, like 15, 16. So I think it would be cool to make like a zine about my life, like discovering zines.

Maira (29:10):

Oh yeah. That sounds really cool.

Miquela (29:13):

Yeah. Like I would want it to eventually be compiled in a graphic novel, but I'm thinking, yeah. I might just start out doing like short snippets of stories in zine form, but then they could be, uh, combined together into like, I don't know what it's called. Just like a graphic- Yeah. Yeah. Like an anthology of like all these collected stories that take place during that period of time.

Maira (29:36):

Awesome. Uh, you have a Patreon.

Miquela (29:39):

Yes.

Maira (29:40):

You do like monthly stuff with.

Miquela (29:43):

I do. Yeah. So that's another thing that I've been consistently working on. I started it, I want to say in the beginning of 2020, I can't even remember now. Um, but then it's kind of evolved into now. I've gotten into a groove of like I send out monthly, um, things through the mail depending on like what tier people are on. Um, so I send out like pictures of my dog. Um, all the tiers are like named after her. Uh, so she's got like pegs pen pals. I send out clay pins that I make, I have yet to send out any zines, but that's just because I'm like, uh, what kind of zine should I make and send out? I don't know. I find that I like hold myself back from like making zines a lot because I'm a little bit of a, like a perfectionist when it comes to them, but I just need to do it. I just need to like make a little like one page zine or one piece of paper. So it'd be like six pages and like mail it out. But yeah, people get stuff in the mail if they want or they get access to like exclusive sketches and drawings and like random things that I'm doing. Kind of like, uh, a little bit of a journal. And then now I have a podcast where I talk about music and that's like exclusive to my Patreon for now.

Maira (30:54):

That's exciting.

Miquela (30:56):

Yeah. Thanks.

Maira (30:57):

I started a Patreon. Apparently I tried to make one in June of last year, but did nothing with it. Um, so in preparation for, cause I, I really want to just dive back into this podcast and kind of do more with it than I was before. Cause I think it was like one, every couple of months when I felt like it, I would just have people come over to my apartment and shoot the shit Essentially. I started listening to old episodes and transcribing them cause I wanted to make them more accessible and.

Miquela (31:34):

Oh that's cool.

Maira (31:34):

That was a very time-consuming process. Um, but I am still working on, uh, months later. Yeah. I remembered just really enjoying like the, the word that's coming up for me is prescribed hanging out time.

Miquela (31:51):

Oh yeah.

Maira (31:53):

Like it's a good way to like ease back into socializing because the only person I've really seen in the last however many months is my boyfriend. Um, because we live together and so it's like talking to people is hard?

Miquela (32:09):

Yeah. Talking, talking to people is hard. And I think too, like podcasting it's like, you kind of have a theme, like you have something to already talk about, so you're not sitting there like, well, how's it going with you? It's like, I don't know. I've been stuck in my house for 10 months. How's it going?

Maira (32:25):

To be fair I've done that also this episode.

Miquela (32:27):

Yeah.

Maira (32:30):

But it's fun. And I forgot how fun it was. And so I made a Patreon. I don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. Cause I've already, you know, I've got an Etsy where I sell my zines and stuff and I've got like a Ko-Fi, um, that I.

Miquela (32:44):

I haven't heard of that one. What is that one?

Maira (32:47):

It's just like a, it's a cute little site where you can buy someone a coffee, um, and just send them like three bucks and.

Miquela (32:56):

That's cool.

Maira (32:56):

Yeah, it's, it's cute. I was using it a lot at the beginning of last year because I was, I kind of realized that like I was putting in a lot of time to like zine stuff and it was kind of becoming a full time job, just, you know, organizing fests and organizing the art show and doing the podcast. I was already working a full-time job. And so it was just kind of draining and I was like, you know, it'd be really cool if people wanted to buy me a coffee for this. And so I found this website and it was cool. It's a nice way to like, I think it's kind of like Patreon and you can connect with other creators and uh, do like tiered stuff. It's I think it's basically the same. Yeah. You can do like one-off payments instead of like monthly.

Miquela (33:52):

That's cool. Yeah. That's like the one thing about Patreon where I'm Like I don't, I don't know, like I don't expect people to like want a monthly subscription unless it's for like, you know, the monthly mail outs. Like that's really the only one where I'm like, yeah, if you want something mailed to you every month, that's cool. But it would be cool if Patreon could also have like a one-time payment, which I guess you can do it just feels weird, you know?

Maira (34:19):

Yeah. I, at this time don't feel like I do anything monthly enough to warrant a Patreon, but that's also me kind of trying to kick my own ass into doing something monthly, I guess. I don't even know.

Miquela (34:38):

It's a lot.

Maira (34:38):

Yeah. I, I mean, cause you make all these things out of clay and take photos of peg and send them out.

Miquela (34:46):

Yeah. And I make, uh, usually I've been making, um, what is it called? Oh my God. I'm totally blanking on it. Block printing.

Maira (34:54):

Oh cool.

Miquela (34:55):

So I usually do like a, uh, at least original piece of art included too. And then if I include zines in the future, like yeah. Like I try to have like a few pieces of art within each package and it takes like days for me to do, like, it does become like a job. So I get totally get what you're saying. Whereas like, if you're doing these things, just for the love of it at the same time, you're like, Oh, I'm using my time to devote to this thing where like, it's hard because we live under capitalism and we're like, how can I pursue this? And still feel like I'm not, I don't know, like accomplishing something is the wrong word, but like it's hard. It's hard when like it becomes like it when it feels like a job.

Maira (35:36):

Yeah. And unfortunately It's also, like I feel as artists, we feel under capitalism, we feel inclined to like monetize our hobbies in order to get by.

Miquela (35:51):

Oh totally.

Maira (35:52):

It sucks. We want to just make art for fun, but it feels like all my time has to go into like hustling.

Miquela (36:02):

Oh totally. Like that was my whole thing with like even getting into zine making and getting into all of this is I was like, Oh, I already make comics. And this is just a fun way for me to distribute them, to like my friends and like get my work out there and just make people laugh. But then it turned into something as I got older where I was like, but this is all that I love to do and all that I know how to do. And like, guess, I've got to make money off of that somehow. So yeah. It definitely sucks.

Maira (36:32):

Yeah. At this point I'm just trying to pay for paper and ink.

Miquela (36:37):

that's the whole thing is like materials too. It's like, yeah, it would be cool to have like one of those fancy like risographed zines, but it costs money for materials.

Maira (36:46):

Yeah.

Miquela (36:47):

I could totally see you doing like a, I mean you could do like stickers monthly or something like included with like a mini zine that could even be just like a monthly thing for Patreon.

Maira (36:58):

Oh yeah. I love making those one sheet zines. Um, I was looking at- so something I've been doing lately for the past month or so is I've been looking at photos from that specific day in my phone. So from like years prior.

Miquela (37:16):

Oh, that's cool.

Maira (37:16):

And the other day, a few years ago, um, there was a zine library opening at the Oakland LGBTQ community center. And apparently I made a zine of just drawings of animals in cowboy hats, which.

Miquela (37:33):

That's amazing,

Maira (37:35):

Yeah it was super cute. I took pictures of some of them. And I think that zine, I didn't make any copies. So it only lives in that library. Um, if it's even still there, but I love making one-offs and I actually made one during EBABZ. Um, I was feeling really discouraged about selling my art and making art. And so I made one that was like, even if no one buys your art, you're still an artist. Um, and it was, it was nice. It felt good to just get things out onto a little sheet of paper. And I just bought a scanner and color printer for cheap, but now I have my own next to my desk. So.

Miquela (38:19):

that's a life changer.

Maira (38:21):

Yeah. There was a time period where I was like, okay, I can't make anything because I cannot copy it. Um, but now I can.

Maira (38:31):

That's so cool. Yeah. Like, and that alone, I mean, I know we were talking about how like it's hard right now to like create stuff, but like you're at least building up to like having a bunch of things where you're like, all right, well, I'm prepared to create now. Just got to feel like creating and not be crushed by like having to monetize it. And I think like returning to just like creating for the sake of creating is like so hard.

Maira (39:00):

Yeah. I bought a bunch of colored paper. Um, that I'm determined to do something with, but I also don't want to force it because like, like we've been saying it sucks to feel forced into creating art for money.

Maira (39:15):

Yeah, artist problems.

Maira (39:19):

Artist problems, truly, I am taking a block printing class on zoom tomorrow though. Um, which I'm pretty excited about because it's not really something, well, that's not true. My friend Kristen taught me how to carve stamps, um, with like easy cut rubber a few years ago. And I made like a taco bell stamp, which is pretty on brand for me, but I'm taking a class tomorrow and I'm excited to like, have someone show me how to do it. And I got a bunch of speedball ink and yeah, I'm excited to have that space to like make stuff that doesn't feel, it's kind of forced because I signed up for it. But,

Miquela (40:06):

But sometimes like, Oh, sorry,

Maira (40:10):

No go ahead.

Miquela (40:10):

I was going to say like, sometimes like, you know, that sort of force where like it, but it's more community built. It's like, okay, I'm kind of forced to do that just because I signed up for it. But like for some reason, taking a class like feels different than just like, alright, I feel forced to do this because like I have to do it for monetary gain or like, I need to feel like I'm being productive. And it's more of like a societal pressure versus like in a class there's like that community sense of it where you're like, Oh, that's so cool. I get to be like taught this by somebody who knows a lot about it. And that's been one of the like greatest things about this period of time, like during COVID and all the lockdowns and stuff is like being able to take classes online still is, has been like a godsend.

Maira (40:58):

Yeah. Are you still teaching the zine making class?

Miquela (41:02):

Um, I'm teaching, Well, I had a couple of workshops, um, where it was zine making. And then right now it kind of transferred into I'm teaching. I am still teaching, but it's like an afterschool program where we're making these like little animal field guides. So they already had like a pre-made book. Um, and then they fill it out with like animal drawings that we do each week and it's been so much fun. And then I'm taking a class through my work, um, with a different artist who's doing just kind of drawing essentials and just having that like set aside time each week to devote to art is like major

Maira (41:40):

The animal guide sounds cute as hell.

Miquela (41:43):

It's so cute. Yeah. But my students are like a huge thing that's been like keeping me creative. Um, cause we also do, I do a weekly thing called doodle hour and that's actually, uh, open to anyone and it's free. Um, it's all ages, but for the most part I have like kids in the class and I think that like deters adults, like I've had some adults pop in, but like I try to really make it for everyone. And it's just a fun time to be like goofy and imaginative. And I try to come up with like silly prompts and stuff. Like, you can just draw on your sketchbook, um, and be around like a bunch of fun kids that come up with like really silly things. And so like, that's been major too, for me. It was just like, I feed off of their like innate creativity sometimes. Cause I'm like, you haven't been ruined by capitalism yet.

Maira (42:34):

Stay that way, please.

Miquela (42:35):

Yeah. Yeah. That's like one of the hardest things being an art teacher is like seeing these kids and just kind of like realizing like as an adult so much is beaten out of us. Like not to get like super depressing, like as an artist, like looking at them as artists and like remembering back to like when I was their age and I felt like there were so many more possibilities and like I would just make for the sake of making, um, which is something that we've already like kind of talked about, like we're struggling with, but then like these kids, it's like, you give them like one tiny crumb of something and then they just like run with it. And I'm like, how do you do that? Like please, how do I tap into that resource again?

Maira (43:21):

It feels like something that needs to be like relearned.

Miquela (43:25):

Yeah. So like taking a class, that's all going back to like you taking a class. Like I was kind of saying like, that's so cool that you're doing that because like giving yourself that time, like hopefully that will get you into more of that mindset, a little, or like kind of retrain your brain to be in that creative mode

Maira (43:42):

In the same vein. I took like an art 101 class at my local community college last semester. And that was, it was the same thing where it like put me in a mindset of like, yes, it was for a grade, but it felt very like, because it's not, I'm not working towards a degree right now. I'm just kind of taking it for fun. And so it was really cool to just kind of get loose and like make stuff. And so I'm taking another art class through the same community college this semester and it's a site-specific installation,

Miquela (44:17):

Woah

Maira (44:19):

But we don't really have any sites. Uh, cause.

Miquela (44:22):

that's fascinating.

Maira (44:24):

Yeah. I'm really excited to see how it's gonna play out. And like I'm really excited to make Stuff.

Miquela (44:30):

Sounds like that's cool. Like that's totally something you can use too for putting on shows.

Maira (44:35):

Yeah. That's I think what I'm most using it for gain down the road, but definitely just like farming ideas at this point, which I'm really excited about.

Miquela (44:46):

That sounds awesome. And that's just through the local community college there.

Maira (44:50):

Yeah. Uh, shout out to Ohlone College, uh, their art department.

Miquela (44:56):

That's rad.

Maira (44:56):

Yeah. I'm excited. Uh, do you have anything else that you want to plug or talk about?

Miquela (45:05):

Um, no, that's pretty much it. I feel like, yeah. Talked about the art show. I mentioned like the class I'm teaching, but I didn't even mention like where it is, but I guess you can put that in like the description.

Maira (45:17):

Yeah. Thanks so much for doing this. I know it was like really short notice. Um, and technology is weird and kind of hard, but it's been fun.

Miquela (45:29):

No, this was awesome. I loved, uh, you know, catching up with you a little bit and like yeah. Hearing about the things that you're working on too. Like it's nice to just sit and talk like with a fellow artist who just gets it. Like, I I've been very isolated away from like any sense of like an art community. So like this was really cool and I, yeah, I really loved talking with you.

Maira (45:52):

Yeah. And it's, it's also just a very different vibe from like seeing something on Instagram and being like, all right, I like this, but it's cool to like interact on a different plane, I guess.

Miquela (46:05):

Totally.

Maira (46:06):

Yeah. Well again, thank you. Um, this was great and yeah, stay tuned for more long-arm stapler, uh, more often this year and that's all for me.

[theisisnicolemag]

Miquela - Hard Feelings [Amazon Original Series The Wilds: Vidas Selvagens]

[30atv]

Sidewalks on 30A TV Interview Investigating Joe Exotic and Carol Baskin

New Post https://30a-tv.com/videos/sidewalks-on-30a-tv-interview-investigating-joe-exotic-and-carol-baskin/

Sidewalks on 30A TV Interview Investigating Joe Exotic and Carol Baskin

SIDEWALKS host Lori Rosales talks to retired homicide investigator Jim Rathmann as he investigates what really happened to Carole Baskin’s husband and explores the criminal case again Joe Exotic (“Tiger King”) in the Investigation Discovery program, “Joe Exotic: Tigers, Lies and Cover-Up.” Plus, host Richard R. Lee brings us music by Miquela (“Hard Feelings”) and Ventresca (“19”).

[waytray]

got tagged by @lydiogames for some current faves~ thanks lydia! i love you!

these are: Hard Feelings by Miquela (fun and angsty robotic pop), Playground from the soundtrack of the show Arcane (badass cool song), You and Jennifer by Bulow (angsty pop), and Psycho by Maisie Peters (another angsty pop song! breakup-esque) 

[areastudionyc]

@lilmiquela’s AREA — Miquela’s next song, titled “Hard Feelings,” will feature an epic music video captured during quarantine in which all proceeds from @Spotify streams and @Youtube views will be donated to @Plus1org for Black Lives & #MusiCares. She’s also set up a text program so people can text “MIQUELA” to 50155, and donate to a few of her favorite causes. 
Tap the link in bio to shop Miquela’s look #areanyc (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCeIqIYA1qW/?igshid=1l87i1j4hwjsm

[bustedpixels]

Miquela // Hard Feelings (2020) 🤖⚡ ♥

[un-enfant-immature]

The portrait of an avatar as a young artist

Alice Lloyd George Contributor

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Alice Lloyd George is an early stage investor based in New York and the host of Flux, a series of podcast conversations with leaders in frontier technology.

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In this episode of Flux I talk with LaTurbo Avedon, an online avatar who has been active as an artist and curator since 2008.  Recently we’ve seen a wave of next-gen virtual stars rise up, from Lil Miquela in the west to pop-stars like Kizuna AI in the east. As face and body tracking make real-time avatar representation accessible, what emergent behaviors will we see? What will our virtual relationships evolve? How will these behaviors translate into the physical world when augmented reality is widespread?

LaTurbo was early to exploring these questions of identity and experimenting with telepresence. She has shape-shifted across media types, spending time in everything from AOL and chat rooms, to MMOs, virtual worlds and social media platforms. In this conversation she shares her thoughts on how social networks have breached our trust, why a breakup is likely, and how users should take control of their data. We get into the rise of battle royale gaming, why multiplicity of self is important, and how we can better express agency and identity online.

An excerpt of our conversation is published below. Full podcast on iTunes and transcript on Medium.

***

ALG: Welcome to the latest episode of Flux. I am excited to introduce LaTurbo Avedon. LaTurbo is an avatar and artist originating in virtual space, per her website and online statement. Her works can be described as research into dimensions, deconstructions, and explosion of forms exploring topics of virtual authorship and the physicality of the Internet. LaTurbo has exhibited all over the world from Peru to Korea to the Whitney in New York. I’m thrilled to have her on the show. Metaphorically of course. It’s just me here in the studio. LaTurbo is remote. 

When we got the demo file earlier I was excited to hear the slight Irish lilt in your robotic voice. As a Brit I feel like we have a bond there.

LaTurbo: Thank you for the patience. It is like a jigsaw puzzle, our voices together.

ALG: Of course it’s all about being patient as we try out new things on the frontier. And you represent that frontier. This show is about people that are pushing the boundaries in their fields. A lot of them are building companies, some are scientists. Recently we’ve had a few more artists on and that’s something I believe is important in all of these fields. Because you’re taking the time to do the hard work and think about technology and its impact and how we can stretch it and use it in different ways and broaden our thinking. You play an important role.

LaTurbo: We will get things smoothed out eventually as my vocalization gets easier and more natural with better tools. Alice I appreciate you trekking out here with me and trying this format out.

ALG: I love a good trek. Maybe you can give a brief intro on who is LaTurbo. I believe you started in Second Life. I’d love to hear about those origins. Phil Rosedale was one of the first people I interviewed on this podcast, the founder of Second Life. Shout out to Phil. I’d love to hear what’s been your journey since then. Oh and also happy 10th birthday.

“I’ve spent decades inside of virtual environments, in many ways I came of age alongside the Internet. My early years in my adolescence in role-playing games. From the early years I was enamored by cyber space”

LaTurbo: I know that it is circuitous at times but this process has made me work hard to explore what it takes to be here like this. Well I started out early on in the shapes of America Online, intranets, and private message boards. Second Life opened this up incredibly, taking things away from the closed worlds of video games. We had to work even harder to be individuals in early virtual worlds using character editors, roleplaying games, and other platforms in shared network spaces. This often took the shape of default characters — letting Final Fantasy, Goldeneye, or other early game titles be the space where we performed alternative identities.

ALG: If you’re referring to Goldeneye on N64 I spent considerable time on it growing up. So I might have seen you running around there.

LaTurbo: It was a pleasure to listen to your conversation with Philip Rosedale as he continues to explore what comes next, afterwards, in new sandboxes. What was your first avatar?

ALG: I did play a lot of video games growing up. I was born in Hong Kong and was exposed mostly to the Nintendo and Sega side of things, so maybe one of those Mario Kart characters — Princess Peach or really I went for Yoshi if those count as avatars. I’d love to get into your experience in gaming. You said you started off exploring more closed world games and then you discovered Second Life. You’ve spent a lot of time in MMORPGs and obviously that’s one of the main ways that people have engaged with avatars. I’d love to hear how your experiences have been in different games and any commentary on the worlds you’re spending time in now.

LaTurbo: I think that even if they weren’t signature unique identities or your own avatar, those forms of early video games were a first key to understand more about facets of yourself through them. For me gaming is like water being added to the creative sandbox. There is fusion inside of game worlds — narrative, music, performance, design, problem solving, communication, so many different factors of life and creativity that converge within a pliable file. Some of the most Final Fantasies of games are now realities. Users move place to place using many maps and system menus on their devices. The physical world so closely bonded by users like me that brought bits of the game out with us. Recently I spent several months wandering around inside of Red Dead Redemption 2. I enjoyed the narrative of the main storyline though I was far more interested in having quiet moments away from all of the violence. I named my horse Sontag and went out exploring, taking photographs and using slow motion game exploits to make videos. Several months as the weary cowboy named Arthur, and then I carried on my way. I take bits and pieces with me on the way.

LaTurbo’s Overwatch avatar

ALG: As you’ve gone across different games and platforms like Red Dead Redemption 2 are there specific people you’ve made friends with? How have your friendships formed in these different communities and do they travel between games? 

LaTurbo: I have had many gaming friends. Virtual friends overlap between all of these worlds. My Facebook friends are not very different than those I fight with in Overwatch or the ones I challenge scores with in Tetris Effect.

ALG: One thing you’ve said about gaming and I’ll read the quote straight out:

“I love the MMO or massively multiplayer online experience for a lot of reasons but primarily because I want to create works collaboratively with my network, because we are in this moment together. For a long time virtual worlds were partitioned from the public because you either had to be invested in gaming or a chat room/ BBS user to get into them.”

I want to explore that. Gaming has come a long way in the 10 years since you were created. It’s more widespread now. Things like Fortnite. I saw that Red Dead Redemption is introducing a Fortnite like feature where they’re going to have battle royale mode and toss people into a battle zone and force them to search for weapons to survive. I think a lot of people are looking at the success of Fortnite and replicating elements of it. Can you comment on how gaming has become more widespread or more in the public mind and what you think of the rise of Fortnite?

LaTurbo: Our histories are fluid, intersecting and changing depending on the world we choose to inhabit. Sometimes we are discussing art on Instagram. Other times we are discussing game lore or customization of ourselves. This variety is so important to me. There is a lot exchanged between worlds like Fortnite and the general physical day to day. Expectations are real and high. The battle royale model has pushed people to a sort of edge at all times. A constant pressure of chance and risk, it crosses between games but also into general attention. Video apps like TikTok have a similar model — always needing to have the drop on the creators around you.

ALG: It’s interesting that tension. These games are driven to create competition. They are businesses so they’re supposed to build in loops and mechanics that keep people engaging. But as you describe of your experience in Red Redemption you’ve also found quiet moments of exploration being alone and not necessarily fiercely competing. 

LaTurbo: Red Dead could be a hundred games in one. Yet for some reason we come back to the royale again. It is a maximal experience in a lot of ways. One that uses failure and frustration to keep users trying again perpetually. This is a telling sign as you’ve said about the business of games. The loop. I worry that this is a risky model because it doesn’t encourage a level of introspection very often.

ALG: I love video games but have never been a fan of first person shooters. I don’t enjoy the violence. But I’ve always loved strategy and exploration games. To your point about exploring, I would spend hours wandering on Epona [the horse] in Zelda, running across the fields. But I didn’t feel that a lot of those games were designed for women or people who weren’t interested in the violence or the GTA type approach. I’m excited to see more of that happening now and gaming CEOs realizing there’s a huge untapped market of people that want to play in different modes and experience gaming in different ways. It feels like we are moving towards that future. I do want to get in to how you have expanded beyond gaming. I’ll read some of your quotes from when you started out:

“I’ve been making work in digital environments since 2008 to 2009, though I’ve only been using social media for about a year now since I can’t go out and mingle with people it’s been quite nice to use social platforms to share my work. This way I can be in real life IRL as much as people allow me to be.”

I want to get to the question of how you’ve expanded from gaming to social media, building your Twitter and Instagram presence and how you think about your engagement on those platforms.

LaTurbo: I celebrate the multiplicity of self. Walt Whitman spoke of their contradictions years ago accepting themselves in the sense that they contain multitudes. As I wandered the fields of fictitious Admiral Grant in Red Dead Redemption 2, it occurred to me that I was wondering inside of Leaves of Grass. It made sense that I too was wandering around out in the fields and trees. Virtual life in poetry, song, or simulation gives us a different sort of armor where our forms can forget about borders, rules and expectations that have yet to change outside.

It has been quite a decade. Events of the past 10 years could easily be the plot of a William Gibson novel. A cyber drama and all its actors. With and without consent users have watched their personal data slip away from their control, quick to release in the terms of service. Quick to be public, to have more followers and visibility. Is it real without the Instagram proof? I chose to socialize away from game worlds for a few different purposes. To imbue my virtual identity with the moment of social media. But also to create a symbol of a general virtual self. A question mark or a mirror, to encourage reflection before people fully drown themselves in the stream.

ALG: One of the reasons it’s fascinating to talk to you now is that you’ve come of age as the Internet has come of age. You’ve navigated and shape-shifted across these platforms. And so much has happened since 2008. You’ve been on everything from Tumblr to Pinterest to Vine to Snapchat to Instagram. I’m curious where you think we are in the life cycle of these social media platforms?

LaTurbo: It has been quite a journey, seeing these services pop up, new fields, new places. But it is clear that not many of these things will remain very long. A new Wild West of sorts. They are more like ingredients in a greater solution as we try to make virtual relationships that are comfortable for both mind and body.

ALG: Speaking of these services popping up I want to get to something you tweeted out, your commentary on Facebook:

“If it wasn’t bad already just imagine how toxic Facebook will be when we collectively decide to break up with them. Anticipate a paid web and an underweb. We just start spinning them out on our own, smaller and away from all these analytics moneymakers. The changeover from MySpace era networks to Facebook felt minimal because it hadn’t become such a market-oriented utility. But this impending social network breakup is going to be felt in all sorts of online sectors.”

That’s an interesting opinion. The delete Facebook movement is strong right now. But I wonder how far it will go and how many people really follow it?

LaTurbo: Business complicates this as companies extend too far and make use of this data for personal gain or manipulation. In the same way that Google Glass failed because of a camera, these services destroy themselves as they breach the trust of those who use them. These companies know that these are toxic relationships whether it is on a game economy or a social network. They know that the leverage over your personal data is valuable. Losing this, our friends, and our histories is frightening. We need to find some way to siphon ourselves and our data back so we can learn to express agency with who we are online. Your data is more valuable than the services that you give it to. The idea that people feel that it is fair to let their accounts be inherently bound to a single service is disturbing. Our virtual lives exceed us and will continue to do so onward into time. Long after us this data may still linger somewhere.

ALG: I’m going to throw in a Twitter poll you did a few months ago. “If you had the choice to join some sort of afterlife simulation that would keep you around forever at the expense of having your data used for miscellaneous third party purposes would you?” 35% said yes and 65% said no in this poll. I bet if you ask that every two years, over time the answers will continue to change as we get more comfortable with our digital identities and what that really means. You’re pushing us to ask these questions.

LaTurbo: We see in museums now torn parchments, scrolls, ancient wrappings of lives and histories. As we become more virtual these documents will inherently change too. A markup and data takes this place. However we consent to let it be represented. If we leave this to the Facebooks and Twitters of this period, our histories are in many ways contingent on the survival of these platforms. If not we have lost a dark ages, it is a moment that we will lose forever.

ALG: I’m curious what you think of the different movements to export your personal data, own it, have it travel with you across platforms and build a new pact with the companies. Are you following any of the movements to take back personal data and rewrite the social technological contract?

LaTurbo: It would be sad to have less record of this period of innovation and self-discovery because we didn’t back things up or control our data appropriately. Where do you keep it? Who protects it? Who is a steward of your records? All of this needs to begin with the user and end with the user. An album, a solid state tablet of your life, something you can take charge of without concern that it is marketing fodder or some large shared database. As online as we are as a society, I recommend people have an island. Not a cloud but a private place, plugged in when you request it. A drive of your own where you have a private order. Oddly enough in an older world sense you can find solitude in solid states, when you have the retreat to files that are not connected to the Internet.

ALG: And have it backed up and air-gapped from the internet for safety and possibly in a Faraday cage in case you get EMP’ed. One thing that leads on from that — Facebook has capitalized on using our real data, our personal data. I have the statement on authentic identity from their original S-1 here:

“We believe that using your real name, connecting to your real friends and sharing your genuine interests online creates more engaging and meaningful experiences. Representing yourself with your authentic identity online encourages you to behave with the same norms that foster trust and respect in your daily life offline. Authentic identity is core to the Facebook experience and we believe that it is central to the future of the Web. Our terms of service require you to use your real name. And we encourage you to be your true self online enabling us and platform developers to provide you with more personalized experiences.”

LaTurbo: The use of a real name, authenticity, and Facebook’s message of truth. It is peculiar that Facebook used this angle because it was such a gloved gesture for them to access our accurate records. The verification is primarily to make businesses comfortable with their investment in marketing. I wish it came to celebrate personal expression not to tune business instruments.

ALG: Over the last 5 to 10 years we’ve seen a movement towards Facebook and being our real selves. Now there’s kind of a backlash both to the usage of Facebook but perhaps also to the idea that your real identity, your true self that you have offline, that that’s what you should be representing online. You are an anonymous artist and there’s precedent for that. There have been many writers with nom de plumes over centuries and in the present day we’ve got Daft Punk, Banksy, Elena Ferrante, fascinating creators. I’m curious your thoughts as we move away from real selves being represented online to expressing our other selves online. We’ve been living in an age of shameless self-promotion. Do you think that the rise of people representing themselves with digital avatars is a backlash to that? Society usually goes through a back and forth, a struggle for balance. Do you think people are getting disenchanted with the unrelenting narcissism of social media, the celebrity worship culture? Do you think this is a bigger movement that’s going to stick?

LaTurbo: I see this as an opportunity and I am wary of this chance being usurped by business. If I had the chance to see all of my friends in the avatar forms of their wishes and dreams I believe I’d be seeing them for the first time. A different sort of wholeness against the sky, where they had the chance to say and be exactly what they wished others to find. If you haven’t created an avatar before please do. Explore yourself in many facets before these virtual spaces get twisted into stratified arenas of business.

A full talk from LaTurbo Avedon is available here

I don’t seek to be anonymous but to represent myself in this strand of experiences, fully. That’s who I have become. As an artist I will continue to change with what surrounds me. Each step forward. Each new means of making and learning. I celebrate this and who I will become, even if I continue to find definition over a period of time that I right now cannot fully comprehend.

I am often in the company of crude avatars of the past. As I read journals, view sketches and works from artists past, if they understood their avatar identities and how they would be here now in 2019. I wonder what they would have done differently. What would they think of their graphic design and exhibitions? How their work is shown in other mediums? How their work is sold?

ALG: Taking that with your earlier point, you said if you had the chance you would love to see all your friends in their avatar forms “express all their wishes and dreams.” It fascinates me, the idea that we persistently remain one to one with our offline/online identities. It doesn’t make sense. I feel like everyone has multiple selves and multiple things to express. Do you feel that most people should have a digital identity or abstraction? Do you think it’s healthy to have an extension of something that’s inside of you, especially since as you say some of these avatars are pretty crude. How do you feel about most people creating a digital avatar? People have been doing this for a while without realizing through things like a Tinder bio or Instagram stories. They’re already putting out ideas of themselves. But creating true anonymous digital avatars, is that something people should pursue?

LaTurbo: Avatars remain in places that we often don’t even intend them to. Symbols of self. For those that pass or those we never had the chance to meet, there seems to be importance here. To need to take this seriously so that it isn’t misunderstood. The most beautiful experiences I’ve had online are when I feel I am interacting with a user how they wish to be seen. Whether this is in the present or for people later, finding this inward representation feels essential especially for those exposed to oppressive societies. Whether it’s toxic masculinity, cultural restrictions, or other hindrances that prevent people from showing deeper parts of their identity.

I have four essential asks of users creating avatars. Though these apply well outside of just this topic. 1/ Be sweet. 2/ Encourage others to explore themselves and all of their differences. 3/ Learn about the history of virtual identities, now, then, and long before. This means going back. Read about identities before the internet, pen names, mythologies. 4/ Celebrate your ownership of self. You, not your services, subscriptions, or products, are the one to decide your way. Don’t become billboards. I’ve been asked by many companies over the years to promote their products, to drop the branded text on my clothing or to push a new service. These are exciting times but brands know this too. Be wary of exploitation. Protect yourself and your heart.

ALG: That’s really beautiful and important. We’re rushing into this future fast and I don’t think people are stopping to pause and think about some of the ideas you’ve spent a long time thinking about. It’s probably a good place to end. I have a million more things I want to ask, hopefully we can continue this chat over Discord, Twitter, Instagram, Second Life or wherever it is. I’m in VR a lot so I’d love to meet you in there. If there’s anything you want to end on, any final comments or projects you’re working on?

LaTurbo: Yes I agree with you very much. Technology moves quickly but we need to take the time to consider ourselves as we move inside this space. We have so much potential to be inside and out simultaneously. I am excited for this new year. I hope it brings positivity to everyone. I am showing a new piece called “Afterlife Beta” in London at the Arebyte Gallery. After this I will be working on my first monograph. I am excited to make something printed that might stick around in the physical world for a while.

ALG: That’s awesome. Love a good physical piece. And congratulations on “Afterlife Beta.” I appreciate your patience with my jumping in at all times in this conversation. I’ve been following your work and hope everyone else will too. You’re a fascinating, critical thinker and artist at this current point in history. Thanks LaTurbo.

LaTurbo: Thank you for your patience with my format. As time goes on I hope it is easier for us to be here together.

[musicdailymix817]

Miquela - Hard Feelings 

[liuxiang]

Lil Miquela - Hard Feelings Official Video from Common Good on Vimeo.

Directed by Jamie Webster

[tatjanbe]

Swept Away

The sky is grey, as always at that time of the year. It is cold outside and the everblowing wind gently touches Lenny’s body. „Vienna… You’re a slow city. You're too tied to the past. [1]“, he thinks as he walks down the street. The buildings around him let him reminisce about the former glory of the city. „The glam is gone. Something is missing here nowadays. It’s O-P-U-L-E-N-C-E: Opulence! [2]“ He turns around the corner and stops. This is the house. Lenny was waiting so long for this moment. An invitation to this kind of ball was not something usual, especially not for a former pope. The high-rise next to him leaves him in its shadow. Behind a wall one could see the contour of the building. It is clean, it is rational, it doesn’t talk to its surroundings. Metaphorically, it symbolizes force, male fertility, masculine violence. [3] Lenny stares at the white geometrical facade. „Within modern, functionally differentiated society such unilateral control has become untenable. [4]“, Lenny whispers, „What a strange location for this kind of event.“ Moreover, it should seem strange that in a play performed in this same location, [5] all the many male roles remain subordinate, supporting rather than controlling the play’s action. [6]

Now there is only the wall that separates him from his final destination. In a sense, there are two systems coexisting, [7] one outside and one inside. He orbits the building while searching for the entry. „It is here that the possible, the dreamt, […] is staged. [8]“ Lenny hesitates but something drags him inside. While passing the threshold, the outside, unreal world was evolving toward its apocalypse. [9] Suddenly it was dark around him. He was waiting in the shadow of a tunnel and there would scarcely be a trace of Outside. [10]. Blackness swept back over him in an instant and a moment later the lighting system in the tunnel turned on. [11] Lenny walks toward the end where a doorman awaits him. „Well, Holy father first of all, a small piece of information of a practical and picturesque nature... Under the desk, on the right, you will find a button.“ [12], he says. „The house is already waiting for you.“

House: 

„I’m living in the space

I'm following your trace

Tell me what's going on

I'm gonna make you great

Girl are you air to see

Movin' it, come to me

Baby just come to me

Be what you want to be

Using your fantasy“ [15]

[1] The Young Pope

[2] Paris is Burning

[3] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[4] Schumacher, The Autopoiesis of Architecture Vol 2

[5] Senseney, The Art of Building in the Classical World Vision

[6] Shakespeare, Richard III

[7] Vee, Coding Literacy

[8] Buehlmann, Mathematics and Information in the Philosophy of Michel Serres

[9] Castells, The Power of Identity

[10] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology 

[11] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[12] The Young Pope

Strike a Pose

After entering Lenny was dazzled from the sudden bright light. A three sided entrance staircase welcomed him […], that led visitors to the entrance platform [1] Lenny goes up and looks around. He is standing at the very end of a big plaza like room, a room without a roof. When Lenny looks up the grey sky had vanished and there was only a bright blue and shining light. The space reminded him of a greek agora. The plaza is formed in an additive way, with the side arcades tipped up to form the space. [2] Young and old came streaming into it from the corners that configured it as an open place where people could congregate informally on the spur of the moment. [3] The forum was disposed with a view to its purpose and uses so that if there were many people the square would not be too small, but if there were only a few people it would not appear empty. [4] 

The inside of the house in no way resembled what Lenny has seen at his arrival. Contrary to the masculine and introverted appearance, the inside was open and light, opulent and beautiful. Viewed in isolation, the ornamentation of the Courts seems bizarre and extravagant. [5] Brilliant, clear and with deep toned shadows, it makes up the equilibrium of the whole by contrasting its variety with the pulpy softness of the female figure, glowing with all the charms of colour, bright, gleaming, mellow, full of all the voluptuous luxury of female charms rich and swelling. [6]  The orders are at once emblems of people of different gender and age, and the measure by which the building is laid out. [7]

Inside all kinds of creatures were tumbling, walking and crawling around. The inhabitants of the unknown worlds […], brutes with six fingers on each hand; fauns born from the worms that develop between the bark and the pulp of trees; sirens with scaly tails who seduce seamen; […] ass-centaurs, men to the navel and asses below; Cyclopes, each with a single eye the size of a shield; Scylla, with a girl’s head and bosom, a she-wolf’s belly, and a dolphin’s tail […] the cynocephali, who cannot say a word without barking; sciopods, who run swiftly on their single leg and when they want to take shelter from the sun stretch out and hold up their great foot like an umbrella; […] human bodies with heads of the most diverse animals … [8] The space in between the columns was occupied by artists of this theatre, arranged in six groups, which will process in the following order [9]: REALNESS, BEAUTY, RUNWAY, FASHION, SEX SIREN, VOGUE

House: 

„The category is: Royalty!“ [10]

The Plaza emptied itself and the crowd was cheering from the side. Only one body was left amidst, starting to perform a most intriguing show. Behind Lenny somme other figures were chatting:

House: 

„Welcome to the ball, Miquela!“

Miquela is singing:

„I miss what we used to be

Out every night in the streets

You hanging all over me

Acting like we royalty“ [11]

Octavia St. Laurent: 

„Come on now, it is a known fact that a woman do carry an evening bag at dinner time. There's no getting around that!“ [12]

Scylla:

„What exactly is a ball?“

Octavia St. Laurent: 

„Balls are a gathering of people who are not welcome to gather anywhere else.“ [13]

House:

„Brutality, intensity, great gentleness, extreme delicacy, extreme strength. [14] You are turning it on the runway!“

One of the Cyclopes turns to Lenny and asks: „Are you homosexual, Your Eminence?“ [15] Then he asks the house whether it actually considers itself to be a transgender person. [16] 

House:

„I am. Am I? Here the feminine is not just the yawning void of a non subjective body but signifies an inter/trans subjectivizing structure/encounter/space where potentially human subjects co emerge and co transform within a space of minimal difference. [17] I am belonging to neither of the binary categories, yet traversing both. [18]

[1] Leatherbarrow Eisenschmidt, Twentieth Century Architecture

[2] Eisenman, Written into the Void

[3] Casey, The World on Edge

[4] Williams, Daniele Barbaros Vitruvius of 1567

[5] Bergdoll Oechslin, Fragments Architecture and the Unfinished

[6] Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[7] Macarthur, The Picturesque

[8] Eco, The Name of the Rose

[9] Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[10] POSE

[11] Miquela, Hard Feelings

[12] Paris is Burning

[13] POSE

[14] Le Corbusier, Toward an Architecture

[15] The Young Pope

[16] Hovestadt Buehlmann, Quantum City

[17] Zajko, Laughing with Medusa

[18] Braidotti Hlavajova, Posthuman Glossary

Becoming Eve

Estranged by this conversation Lenny leaves the plaza. He walks onto a gallery that connects several chambers. The architectural decoration became increasingly extravagant to attract continued attention. [1] Dimensions stereotypically condemned as feminine, weak, or frivolous—pink, chintz, boudoir chairs—received validation. [2] Curious what’s behind, Lenny opens one of the doors and glances inside. It was a long rectangular room. [3] It was bright with sunshine, the walls were alive with decoration, the table was set, and the odor of the food was enticing. [4] In between closets clothes out of the most interesting fabrics were lying around and two women were getting dressed. Makeup and female smells combine to generate a softness that bewitches and exhausts. [5] Lenny spots one of the Sirens, whose alluring beauty already seduced him at the Plaza.

Siren:

„“You think I just woke up one day and poof, I look like this? No. It takes work, drive, sacrifice to be a woman.” [6]

Lady Gaga:

„Generations of women have been told by advertisements, films, and parents that the natural female body requires enhancement and adornment to be truly feminine. [7] I portray myself in a very androgynous way and I love androgyny.“ [8]

The Siren turns around and looks Lenny in the eyes. Out of excitement she bursts out of the room and starts to run outside of the building. Lenny follows her. A garden more inviting than Eden would then meet the eye, and springs of joy murmur on every side. [9] He has never seen something so beautiful. It remembers the Garden of Eden, the sufficient paradise, land of milk and honey, and the desert where manna fell from heaven, and the hut where pitchers, as though they were springs, poured forth their contents. [10] There are trees not similar to any we know, but trees of life, of immortality, of knowledge, of apprehension, of understanding, and of the conception of good and evil. [11] Lenny starts looking for the Siren. He has a feeling inside of him, one that he had never had before, one that he could not fight anymore. He cultivates only flowers that are real but seem artificial, has abnormal love affairs, inflames his imagination with drugs, prefers imaginary journeys to real ones, enjoys late medieval texts written in effete and sonorous Latin, and composes symphonies of liquors and perfumes, transferring the sensations of hearing to those of taste and smell; in other words he constructs a life made up of artificial sensations, in an equally artificial environment in which nature, rather than being recreated, as happens in works of art, is at once imitated and negated, re elaborated, languid, disquieting, sick... [12] Suddenly he spots her behind one of the trees. For him she is sex, absolute sex, no less. [13] Lenny runs to her and they fall into their arms. Such pleasure took he to behold this flowery plat, the sweet recess of Eve thus early, thus alone; her heavenly form angelic, but more soft, and feminine, her graceful innocence, her every air of gesture or least action overawed; his malice, and with rapine sweet bereaved; his fierceness of the fierce intent it brought: That space the evil one abstracted stood from his own evil, and for the time remained stupidly good, of enmity disarmed, of guile, of hate, of envy, of revenge; but the hot hell that always in him burns. [14] Such sex could be cosmic, or Dionysian, or unquestionably weird. [15] 

Lenny:

„Laymen always think we priests are scandalized by even the slightest things, whereas the truth is the exact opposite. We are never scandalized, no profession has to deal with sin on such a continual basis as ours. The confessional is our operating room. Just as surgeons have no fear of blood so we priests are no longer afraid of scandal and sin.“ [16]

Siren:

„If Adam and Eve never left the Garden of Eden they would have not become human beings.“ [17]

[1] Bonnemaison Macy, Festival Architecture

[2] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[3] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[4] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[5] Calasso, The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony 

[6] POSE

[7] Zimring, Encyclopedia of Consumption and Waste

[8] Braidotti Hlavajova, Posthuman Glossary

[9] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

[10] Serres, The Five Senses

[11] Voegelin, Order and History 4

[12] Eco, On Beauty A History of a Western Idea

[13] Rendell Penner Borden, Gender Space Architecture

[14] Milton, Paradise Lost

[15] Davis, High Weirdness

[16] The Young Pope

[17] Buehlmann Hovestadt, Coding as Literacy

Having a Ball

Lenny and the Siren enter the house again. Suddenly it was very quiet and they wondered where all the other beings had disappeared. A gentle wind blows through the window, it has become night. Through a majestic door they enter into the main hall, the ballroom, located underneath the Plaza. The stellar pattern of the floor recalls a type of medieval cosmological patterns. [1] The floral theme alluded to the association with the women of the house. [2] We here move to a space in which what matters is a process of subtle becoming other: of gradually dissolving traits of being standardly male as these give way to certain accustomed ways of being female, and vice versa; the same ambiguity obtains for the dyad of human/animal. [3] Useless luxury; ostentatious luxury; wastefully excessive luxury. [4] Observe that part of a beautiful woman where she is perhaps the most beautiful, about the neck and breasts; the smoothness; the softness; the easy and insensible swell; the variety of the surface, which is never for the smallest space the same; the deceitful maze, through which the unsteady eye slides giddily, without knowing where to fix, or whither it is carried. [5] Such was the appearance of the ballroom.

House: 

„And now for the next category: Bizarre!“

Everybody gathered in the hall to view the continuance of the spectacle. Perhaps it is a riot, a party, a free space, an invisible space, a non space, a commonplace. [6] Possessing ‘realness’   being able to pass for something you are not was the highest form of praise amongst competitors at the balls, yet the scene also explicitly signals that identities involve performative acts, and little more than that, and therefore might be thought to be hardly real at all. [7] 

House: 

„Thank you, but that’s a chop!“

Lenny seemed at ease with the mix of men who have sex with men and a few women—transgender and those assigned female at birth. [8] Gesticulating bodies form a chain with clothes as a second skin, regulated by the gestures of fashion which play a role in the marking and disguising of sex differences. [9] While the performance was ongoing, the house started speaking to Lenny.

House:

„In Rome, boys played the role of women on stage in a context read as witty, poetic and intellectually playful; the descent of the players into the audience for general dancing as the performance finished brought the literary figure of polymorphous sexuality into the social orbit.“ [10]

Lenny:

„ In ancient Greece, everyday situations and encounters with the gods offered many such occasions. [11] But we have forgotten. We have forgotten to masturbate to use contraceptive to get abortions to celebrate gay marriages to allow priests to love each other, and even to get married. We've forgotten that we can decide to die if you detest living, we've forgotten to have sexual relations for purposes other than procreation without feeling guilty! To divorce, to let nuns say mass to make babies in all the ways science has discovered and will continue to discover. In short my dear, dear children not only have we forgotten to play we have forgotten to be happy.“ [12]

Lenny is aroused, he puts down his robe and goes onto the stage. The dance with unfolding matter takes place inside of him. [13]

House: 

„May you, once a day, in order to cool it down, forget your culture, your language, your nation, your dwelling place, your village’s soccer team, even your sex and your religion, in short, the thickness of your enclosures.“ [14]

[1] Costelloe, The Sublime

[2] Blackwell, Nineteenth Century Architecture

[3] Casey, The World on Edge

[4] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[5] Grillner, Ramble Linger and Gaze

[6] Braidotti Hlavajova, Posthuman Glossary

[7] Burrows, Fictioning

[8] Allen, Ivenceremos the Erotics of Black Selfmaking in Cuba

[9] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[10] Gillgren, Performativity and Performance in Baroque Rome

[11] Kittler, The Truth of the Technological World

[12] The Young Pope

[13] Braidotti Hlavajova, Posthuman Glossary

[14] Buehlmann, Mathematics and Information in the Philosophy of Michel Serres