#minimal fucking text to explain the fucking relevance

[theemperorsfeather]

Are we making a picture book for kindergarten or something???

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  Magical Loopholes

Chapter 62:  His Closest Ally

He returned to his shop that morning feeling renewed, with an energy he hadn't felt like he'd possessed in many hundreds of years, if ever. He felt…he wasn't sure he had words for what he felt. Alive? Thriving? Like the luckiest damn bastard that had ever walked the face of this world or the last or the next? Honesty of the heart…that was a concept he'd never in a million years would have thought he'd embrace. And yet, here he was, feeling it right down to his black soul when he was with Belle. She should have said goodbye to him for good last night. She should have listened to everything that he said and then kicked him out, told him that she never wanted to see him again so that he knew if he ever came near her again, she'd kill him. Instead, he'd told her everything, and she'd stayed. She hadn't liked what she'd had to tell him, but the fact that he'd told her, that he'd shared everything with her…"honesty of the heart," as David had called, it was a fucking miracle cure. And it left him in his shop to consider other things.

He hadn't lied to her. He was looking forward to their lunch the next day, counting down the hours until it was time to see her again, but in the meantime, he kept himself busy with other tasks, and his brain began to consider quite seriously things he had only thought about before.

He worked to bind his two potions together; the memory enhancer and the talisman spell were one by lunchtime. Now, all he needed to do was pour a bit of that potion over the top of the object he wished to make a talisman, Bae's shawl, and so long as he kept that shawl with him, he should be able to maintain his memories outside of Storybrooke, beyond the town line barrier. Furthermore, he was pleased with the sheer amount of the stuff combining the two potions left him with. It was good because he knew that he wasn't done yet. It still needed something. When he walked through the town line, it would recognize that magic and work to take it from him. He needed to add something to it to ensure that the magic remained intact when he crossed. The experiments that he'd done to begin all this already pointed him in two directions: strong magic and weak magic.

His first option was to mask the magic within with a spell that was so strong, so overwhelming, that hid his magic and offered itself up as a sacrifice for the town line to take. The second option worked much the same way but with weak magic. He could find a spell that would hide his magic and trick the line into believing that he was a being of little to no power, so that when he walked through it, it took only a small amount and left him still strong. Two options, many variations, hours of experimenting, all to get one answer in the end. Daunting as the task was, he kept at it, all through the day and night. He worked on it as he communicated with Dove about a party that night for Emma and Mary Margaret's return and confirmation that Dove could not locate Aurora. Interesting information, but all either unimportant drivel or old news to him. He worked on his experiments and let his mind wander to the dagger.

He was going to tell Belle about it. He'd made up his mind. The night before had gone so well he was almost bursting at the seams to do it. Taking it with him into the real world was his true preference, but he had to admit that out in that world, there were dangers for it he did not know about. Leaving it here, unguarded, while he was out in a World Without Magic and wouldn't be able to sense it had him feeling nervous. But now, he had an ally. Now he had someone he could trust with its location and importance. It might terrify him to think of leaving her to it all on her own, but his Belle was a remarkable woman. She showed bravery and courage, and beyond all that, she was intelligent. He'd never had someone so firmly on his side before, and for the first time in all his life, he couldn't wait to tell her everything.

He warmed when she let herself into the shop the next day, carrying a basket that he could only assume was their lunch. Smart woman…this way, they were guaranteed privacy. A lunch break all to themselves, it was perfect. Nearly as perfect as she was. As he settled it on the counter between them, he reached for her hand, and she leaned over to exchange the kiss he'd wanted to give her. Perfect. So perfect he might have been blushing without stopping himself. Oh, how hard and how fast he had fallen in only a few short weeks.

"Ah, well, that looks delicious!" he beamed as she shucked off her jacket, and he peeked inside. "Thank you very much, Belle!"

She smiled and reached into the basket to pull out what she'd brought-

And the bell over the door of his shop rang out. Emma, Mary Margaret, and David came striding in so purposefully that he knew he could tell them to leave all he wanted, and they wouldn't until they came for whatever they needed. He should have locked the damn door.

"Ah! Nothing warms the heart more than a family reunited!" he pronounced, making his way out to them. "You have your mother's chin, Ms. Swan-"

"We know that you killed him!" Emma spat before he could work his way up to the glorious moment he could tell them that he was busy and they could bloody well fuck off. But with a pronouncement like that, he knew something like that would never work. At least now he knew why they were here.

"And your father's tact…"

"Someone's dead?" Belle questioned over his shoulder.

"Dr. Hopper," Emma answered, glancing over his shoulder at Belle as if she was a suspect, as if she thought Belle might have a hand in the death solely because he might. But he didn't.

True, he already knew about Archie's death. Dove had texted him perhaps an hour or so ago to inform him of the unfortunate death. It was the only thing that had given him pause in the last day and a half since he'd last seen Belle. He hadn't thought anything of the death, to be honest, other than to think that it was a loss. He hadn't been close to the cricket, but he hadn't exactly wished him harm either. He'd served his purpose in finding his son, but still, hearing about the sudden loss had piqued his interest for all of two minutes when he heard about it.

"How did he die?" he'd texted Dove.

The answer was simply, "no one has said yet. Seems it happened in the night. The only one around when he died was his dog."

It was a shame. But not one that affected him enough to stop his work. At best, it might shake the puppet out of hiding. So he'd returned to it and figured he'd hear about the death through gossip for the foreseeable future. He hadn't planned on being accused of the murder.

"Why on earth would you think I had anything to do with that?"

"Because all the evidence points to Regina!" Emma stated as if it were obvious.

"And she's not possibly capable of doing something so vile?!" Belle spat back, sidling up to him and offering his own thoughts before he could. An ally…he really had never had one like her before in his life.

"It's a frame job," Emma explained as if that proved he was the one who had actually killed the cricket.

"It wouldn't be the first time you used someone to try to hurt her," Mary Margaret accused.

He smirked. No, it wouldn't…but that still offered no proof that he was the one who had done it this time either. And in this world, the relevant phrase here was "innocent until proven guilty."

"Nice to see your memory is still intact, dearie," he replied calmly before giving a small shake of his head. "But this time, I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you; it wasn't me."

"Why should we believe you?" David questioned, crossing his arms over his chest as if he'd just given all the irrefutable proof he needed. Admittedly, it wasn't a bad argument. He did have past precedence for such a thing; a lawyer here would probably make the same argument in court. But here in Storybrooke, they had two things that the outside world did not. First, they had magic. Second, they had a Savior capable of using magic. The extent of her powers he'd not yet seen and hardly thought of, but when the opportunity to observe them presented itself…

"Because I can prove it. Ask the witness."

"No one was there," Emma snapped in an unimpressed tone. Like father, like daughter.

"Well, that's not strictly true now, is it?" he pressed, recalling the information that Dove had sent him. There was a simple way to extract memories from animals. The magic required was minimal, but the reading of those extracted memories was a bit more…challenging. Not impossible. It wasn't a difficult spell; it just wasn't an easy spell. It would give him a good baseline for seeing exactly what Emma could do. Once she realized what he was talking about, of course.

"Pongo!" she finally gasped after a second. Her eyes went wide before she glanced back at her parents. "Pongo was there!"

"Pongo's a dog, Emma," Mary Margaret sighed as if it were foolish. If they were planning on talking to him, then it was a foolish suggestion, but fortunately, magic let them be a bit more creative.

"And he has eyes, doesn't he?" he interjected quickly. "Let's put them to good use. Bring him to me."

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 3 reaction

Alexia was the MVP of the episode. Daphne needs a restraining order.

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Three men and an obnoxious whiny baby they inexplicably let hang around with them

Lucas at his locker Monday morning. The locker next to him is #24, the words Amor Amor and #instalove are written on it. #24 is also the slot for the choco bars that Eliott got for them in episode 1. Is that going to be Lucas and Eliott’s version of 21? What’s the significance of 24 - maybe 24 hours in a day, a day meaning a full period of both light and darkness? If we want to get Biblical, Luke 24 is the last chapter in the gospel of Luke and describes Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, although I don’t know if they’re going to go heavily into the Biblical/rebirth metaphors in Skam France (they’re going with light and dark). Anyway, any significance will become more obvious later in the season.

 The boy squad shows up. Basile starts talking and when I first watched this without subtitles, my notes were “I don’t know what he’s saying but he needs to shut up.”

Watching with subtitles? I was right, Basile can fucking chill. He blows up at Lucas because he missed the party and he could’ve gotten laid. Even Arthur and Yann, who weren’t overly warm with Lucas when they entered, are telling Basile to calm down. Arthur tells Basile it wasn’t the party of the year. Yann, upon hearing the excuse that something’s up with Lucas’ mom, says who cares, the party’s in the past, diffusing the situation. Basile shuts up seemingly because the other two are chill.

I get that people aren’t perfect and that Lucas did something snaky on them, but Basile is so fucking creepy, Jesus. He’s not just peeved, he’s like ... seriously angry that he missed a chance to get laid, and he keeps up his tantrum after Lucas starts mentioning a problem at home, with his mom. Glad to know his priorities are fully aligned with his dick? It gives me the nastiest, skeeviest vibes, like this dude is going to end up frequenting incel forums in a year or two (if not sooner) and after his friends finally get sick of his shit and ditch him he’ll be railing against Lucas and Yann and calling them Chads or whatever.

The one good thing about Basile being terrible is that I think it made Yann and Arthur chill out, like they must have thought, “Holy shit, I need to not be like this guy.” Lucas explaining about his mom seemed to dial down their annoyance because they’re, you know, normal human beings with empathy that extends outside of their penile excursions. When Lucas hands back the weed to Arthur and offers to pay for it later, Arthur says not to worry about it. Man, this season is a lot better than the first two but I kind of hate Skam France for deciding that Basile was going to be the boy squad breakout and not Arthur.

Yann checks in with Lucas after the others leave and asks whether his mom is at the clinic, so I’m assuming that’s something that has happened in the past. I don’t remember hearing about Isak’s mom being in a clinic or psychiatric hospital. I mean, it actually might be a good thing, in that Lucas’ mom is willing and able to seek treatment - or it might be something else that’s concerning, like she’s a danger to herself or unable to take care of herself. I’m sure we’ll learn more about her condition later. Lucas tells Yann he doesn’t want to talk about it and Yann is a total pal and says the important thing is to be there for her. God, can we please get more Yann content? I know it’s coming later, I know Lucas has to go through some serious heartache and isolation first, but I need Yann’s presence like I need a cool drink of water.

Yann must have triggered Lucas’ guilt over not being there for his mom, because Lucas writes a text to her, saying he’s sorry for not answering her previous texts and that he’s been busy, but he’s thinking of her. Nice little moment of cause-and-effect, though I wonder how Lucas’ relationship is going to be with her later on and how he’ll describe it to Eliott. Because he doesn’t seem to be as totally alienated from her as Isak, though it’s still a rocky and distant relationship.

Clip 2 - Alexia loves unicorns

I see the Raptors’ logo on the wall so you know, nice that they still exist.

Lucas sees Chloé and Maria coming and runs away into the common room, lmao. Daphne, Alexia, and Emma are in there, and I have no idea why Daphne hides the broom behind her, like … you’re just sweeping the floor, girl, you ain’t pulling off a jewel heist. Although Lucas does suggest they’re burgling the room, heh. (I love Daphne’s rubber gloves, btw. She is taking this cleanup seriously.)

Lucas lies that he’s here to help them and Daphne is still weird about it, because it’s a secret and she doesn’t even want the girls to mention they’re moving the furniture. Emma “vaguely” says it’s so people can dance here. Lmao, that wasn’t really necessary, Emma, you could just have said they’re moving stuff out of the way to see how the room looks for their redesign or whatever. Lucas figures out that they’re throwing a party here, because he sat in on that last meeting and he’s not an idiot. Daphne complains that she doesn’t want anyone to know but she just blathers more about organizing an event. Errr, are you allowed to just throw a party at the school? Like … at night, on a Friday, with a bunch of teenagers, and no teacher supervision? I assume not. That seems like a huuuuuge fucking recipe for people to get drunk, make a mess, break shit, or in some way trash this room and possibly other parts of the school, and then you’ll never get your common room redone.

Lmao, at Alexia saying it’s OK because it’s Lucas and he’s not a snitch, and he and Emma just share a look like “Oh really?” Heh, that was a good (and subtle) inclusion. Well, it’s true that he is a snitch, it’s just that he’s also a self-serving snitch, and it’s not in his own best interests to rat out this party vs. ratting out Emma’s kissing Raptor Alex.

Alexia points out that Lucas is part of the crew now because he’s always gatecrashing, and Emma says he’s the new Manon, Alexis like, yeah, he even took her spot in the flat! They’re not wrong? He even took over from her as POV character! He just needs some bright red lipstick to complete the Manon transformation.

Daphne is like NO BOYS ALLOWED and I don’t blame her, she’s seen what kind of riffraff Lucas hangs with (starts with a B, ends with a go-fuck-yourself.)

Alex says Romain (her boyfriend who’s French Kasper) would love this ugly-ass table they’re moving and Emma points out she also has weird taste, indicating Alex’s unicorn shoes with little manes and horns. Yo, I don’t have an obsession with unicorns myself, but I applaud her wearing those shoes. Girl, wear whatever your technicolor heart desires.

Daphne is like, are those unicorns because you’re bi orrr … Alex says no, it’s because unicorns are awesome. OK, so she and Eliott are both into animals and attracted to more than one gender, that seems like a solid basis for a friendship. Let the Raccoonicorn brotp rise.

Daphne asks whether Romain knows she is bi, and Alex says no, but sexuality is fluid, anyway. Tbh I do find it strange that Romain does not know, not because she’s obligated to tell him or anything, just because in a long-term relationship (which it is, they hooked up like last June) I’d think you would share details like that? I mean, hasn’t she ever talked about her female exes or crushes or anything with him? Especially because she seems to be quite out and proud, she was openly talking about making out with Clara in S1, she has rainbow patches on her clothes. She also makes bisexuality-related posts on Instagram, like this one. I guess we don’t know much about her relationship with Romain and how serious it is, but is he like ... not paying attention at all, lmao?

Alex mentions the Kinsey scale and Lucas asks what that is, because this conversation about sexuality just so happens to be relevant to his interests. She explains what it is and mentions that many people have done stuff with the same sex. Just look at Emma and Daphne hooking up! 

I did laugh that they mentioned that again, although Daphne is like NO NO NO that was one time and Emma initiated it!! Daphne, don’t dash my dreams. Especially now that she’s got creepy Basile after her; Daphne should find a nice girl to love and SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN in every way possible.

Emma describes herself as very fluid when drunk and ahhHHHHHH I groaned, like this is not a judgment call on Emma or anyone who behaves similarly because hey, make out with who you want, but this is not the greatest thing to reinforce, the whole “drunk girls making out” cliche is used to minimize the concept of bisexuality for woman (because that’s what you mean when you say you’re bi, right, you like to get drunk and kiss girls?). I mean, that’s where the complaint about the Eva/Vilde moment in Skam came from. It’s certainly different here because Alexia is actually bisexual in canon as opposed to no canon wlw rep in Skam, but I kinda wish they hadn’t thrown in this line in a scene that’s otherwise positive and educational about bisexuality. 

Lucas is like, but it’s cool to be bi, right? Because Alex can kiss as many girls as she wants and date a boy, and everyone thinks she’s straight. Ohhhhh noooooo son. But at least that’s definitely in-universe ignorance that’s immediately refuted by Alex pointing out it doesn’t work like that. Do you choose who you fall in love with? Lucas considers that.

This is a big new scene so let’s go over it. 

First of all, massive props to Skam France for having Alex confirm in words on screen that she is bisexual, and for course-correcting from previous seasons. Because personally I had a problem with Alex bi by Word of God but that factor not affecting like … her dialogue or interactions at all even when it would be relevant. For instance, the whole thing about Daphne thinking Manon is a lesbian played out the same way as Vilde thinking Noora is a lesbian, even when there was an out bisexual girl in the same scene, so Alex might not react the same way as girl Chris, or it might influence how Manon or Daphne reacted. Didn’t the girl squad laugh when Daphne brought this up and Daphne was all “your laughter makes this an unsafe environment to come out,” like that’s the kind of situation that should take into account one of the girls is bi, and yet there was nothing different? I think they took some of the viewer feedback in mind and saw that people wanted confirmation of Alex’s sexuality on screen, and that it was important to the fans, so good for them. They also had her say the word “bisexual” and treat it as a legit concept, which is still rare in media, as many canons just dance around it (to the point where I was surprised when Skam’s boy squad discussed bisexuality/pansexuality as a real thing).

Also, excellent to have Alex correct Lucas’ perception of her bisexuality, where basically she can mess around with girls but have a more serious thing with a guy, and no one has to know she’s anything but straight. Very common misconception of bisexuality, unfortunately a very dismissive perspective, and Alexia got to educate the audience. It was a really good thing for the viewers to hear, so again, big props. 

I think Lucas made that comment about Alex kissing girls but dating a boy and getting to appear straight primarily because that situation seemed ideal to him. In his mind, Alex probably seems lucky because she can act on her non-heterosexual desires but not deal with the prejudice and judgment that comes with dating your own gender. Perhaps he’s thinking he can apply it to himself, like in a way he’s hoping he can maybe mess around with Eliott in secret but date a girl in public and not deal with any of the societal stigma that comes with gay relationships. I think it’s also possible he’s wondering if that’s how Eliott’s sexuality operates, like hey, maybe Eliott’s bi and he’ll date that girl, but kiss me. When really it’s not that simple. 

Additionally, thinking of bisexuality in that distorted, superficial way means Lucas might not have to confront his own sexuality to a degree that makes him uncomfortable. If bisexuality is simple as kissing girls but dating boys - or in Lucas’ case, kissing boys but dating girls - then he can maybe leave it like that, he doesn’t really have to think about it further, what it means to fall in love with a boy. Almost like it would be an easy gratification of needs like eating or sleeping, rather than anything deeper that would shake up his world. Alexia points out it’s not like that. Why would she date some guy if the person she loves is a girl? You don’t choose who affects you emotionally.

Honestly the lead-in to this conversation was pretty clunky, like they obviously wanted to bring up bisexuality (which is great!) but they could’ve done it in a more organic way, much as I appreciated a glimpse of Alex’s unicorn shoes. Like IDK, when they’re talking about keeping the party a secret, Alexia could’ve added, “Well I admit, I told Clara about the party, too” and have Daphne go “You talk to your ex-girlfriend? Doesn’t Romain get jealous?” and Alexia be like “... why would he be?” You know, throw in another little moment where Alex disputes the “bisexual cheater” stereotype or something like that. Not sure if that example’s any better, just that I felt the way Daphne brought up the topic sounded a little As You Know.

I feel like while this conversation might have done a lot of good for the audience, the talk about the Kinsey Scale might have done more harm for Lucas than good, which is certainly not Alex’s fault, and also not a flaw of the narrative, just an observation. Because while I think it’s good to hear that someone doesn’t have to feel boxed in by definitions of sexuality, I don’t think Lucas is sexually fluid for any reason other than societal pressure to like girls. He makes out with them but it doesn’t appear to be something he enjoys, rather it’s something he makes himself do (which is how it was for Isak, if they’re following Isak’s example). It’s way different than if he had some attraction to girls but was struggling with his attraction to guys on top of that. And trying to test out his level of gayness or whatever, when his actions say one thing and his desires say something totally different, is probably going to make it more complicated for him than it needs to be. 

Although one thing I want to mention is that Alex does know what Lucas had on his phone at the end of S1. We were shown in S2 that Manon and Emma must have shared it with her and possibly the other girls. So I don’t know if she cares about his sexuality to the extent that say, Manon does, but she is aware that he might be into guys. It’d be nice if she said her piece with that in mind.

Regarding Lucas’ relationship with the girl squad - it’s really sweet and of course nice to see him bonding with them, I just wonder if it isn’t cutting into the sense of isolation and detachment that he’s supposed to be feeling at this point in time. I’ve enjoyed seeing him smile and laugh with the girls as much as anyone, but they did make a point of detachment as a main struggle for his character. I mean, the opening clip of the season was literally called “Disconnected” and showed him distant from everyone. Sorry, Lucas, not that I like to see you have a hard time, but for that reason I kinda don’t want you to be buddy-buddy with the girl squad too quickly and easily. He doesn’t have to be downright frosty but I’d rather see this friendliness as more gradual, otherwise it cuts a little into the overall atmosphere.

I think these girl squad interactions are best used as a counter to the stress with the boy squad, and the differences in social pressure he gets from the squads, and also for some of the educational moments that he could get from Alex as a member of the LGBT community.

Clip 3 - Gay test

Lucas is at home at night, staring up at the ceiling while he’s on his laptop. Considering or psyching himself up for what he’s going to do. He googles gay test. The link he clicks on isn’t so much about personality/stereotypes, as with Isak but actual sexual actions, fantasies, and attraction, in the past, currently, and ideally. 

He checks all the “other sex only” options, and like … a) he is lying about some of that since we know he obviously had a crush on Yann and is attracted to Eliott, we know he’s not exclusively daydreaming or hoping for the opposite sex - not to mention he doesn’t seem to really want girls at all b) this quiz is kinda fucked up because past actions don’t actually determine one’s sexuality, like if you’re hooking up with girls because of heteronormative pressure rather than genuine attraction, that’s not an indication you’re bi, that’s an indication you live in a homophobic society. Which everyone does. 

I don’t get how he actually got a “bisexual” result, though? It looks like he checked the straightest answers possible, everything was about the opposite sex, so how would you get anything other than the most heterosexual possible score (in this case 7)? Did I miss something in translation? 

I do feel bad for him because he was probably looking for some verification that he wasn’t gay, and the quiz told him he wasn’t entirely straight. He searches for “how to make it so no one knows you’re gay.” OUCH. So he knows, just like Isak did, that these results don’t mean a damn thing about whether he’s gay.

Tangent but like when Skam Italia S2 aired, I saw a fair number of comments comparing Isak to his remake counterparts, claiming that Isak was in super denial that he was gay or flat-out wasn’t sure at this point, whereas Lucas knows but doesn’t want to say it (or Martino knew he was gay but was struggling with external homophobia so he couldn’t come out) and not to be insufferable but: Isak knew he was gay. He wasn’t in denial of that any more than Lucas was here, tbh. What he was struggling with was the label “gay” and all the stereotypes and generalizations associated with it, and how that reflected on himself, as well as the social perception of being gay and how people would see him. What happened with Emma was a result of him trying to avoid those associations. But he asks Google how to get turned on by girls if you’re gay, he knows what he is even if he’s not comfortable with all that label entails to him. 

He finds a forum where someone details their strategy. This sparked some theorizing because the person posting is “Tuturo” and Arthur’s IG handle is “monvoisintuturo” (which is a My Neighbor Totoro reference - I love that because Isak had a subtle reference to that film in the first season of Skam, with a poster on his wall). Coincidence? Is this a real post on a forum that they found or something they made up for the show? It’s dated 22/08/2017. Of course, they could have found that post, and invented Arthur’s IG around it...

Arthur being gay (or not straight, at least) would be one hell of a twist. Honestly, I doubt that’s what they’re headed toward, because the advice in the post doesn’t really align with what we’ve seen of Arthur’s personality so far. Sure, he’s not necessarily the most enlightened dude in every way, but we don’t see him lashing out with homophobic slurs and shit-talking gay people, we don’t see him with a hot girlfriend for cover. So he’s not taking his own advice. It would have been better foreshadowing if they’d set him up more along those lines, so we can see the hints other than his username. Then again, the post is from 2017 so I guess he could have grown away from that mindset or grown uncomfortable with it... But yeah, although I find the idea really intriguing, I’m not sold on it actually happening unless there are some bigger hints. 

The advice is stuff like talk about girls all the time, get a hot yet prudish girlfriend, use gay slurs and show how angry gay people make you. We get Lucas’ voiceover as he reads the post and tbh I wish they’d not done that, like it worked fine when Isak was sitting there and they just showed the message for the viewers, like I get that it’s a longer message and they want to make it obvious, but they don’t have to spoon feed it to us. I guess it helps to hear it in Lucas’ voice so we can sense him internalizing it, but it’s still unnecessary. Maybe they could have just shown closeups of the most important phrases.

Clip 4 - Daphne rules the world

It’s the dance chicks clip. Alexia is a dancer! We saw her doing some gymnastics in previous seasons so that’s a nice touch.

I’m realizing that this clip is one of those things in the remakes where the production team needs to be careful, because the clip is about male gaze, but there’s also a line where the depiction of male gaze turns into an endorsement of it, if that makes sense. Like I want it to be clear that the boy squad is panting over and objectifying the girls, but you don’t want the show itself to objectify them. This clip stopped before it got too sleazy for me, so that was appreciated.

Instead of being disinterested like Isak was, Lucas is joining his bros as they drool over the girls. They’re watching through a window by the way, which is creepier than the boys being in the same room and the girls knowing of their presence - it’s a milder version of peeking into the girls’ locker room like it’s an ‘80s teen sex comedy or something. 

Arthur resting his chin on Lucas’ shoulder is cute, though.

Lucas is saying some bullshit about how not all the girls are hot, which is kinda funny because lol none of the girls are hot to him, and how he wouldn’t let that girl suck him off, which is also kinda funny because we know you don’t want that, dude, but he’s also trying to be a fuckboy which is not funny. 

It’s objectifying as fuck and not funny when you consider his internalized homophobia but I couldn’t help but laugh when he’s like “That girl is hot because she has big boobs” because it sounds like a robot trying to emulate human sexual attraction. Breasts, those certainly are things heterosexual men appreciate!

The other guys are like wow, even Basile isn’t as awful as you. I beg to differ. (Apparently Basile says something that’s relevant to #MeToo, like he wants to get laid but he’s also #MeToo, and get the fuck out of here with that shit, dude. Nothing about your dancing later in the episode says you’re against sexual harassment.) Lucas responds by calling them a gay slur. Lovely! The dudes are like, what’s up with that? Arthur calls it a “closeted homosexual comeback” which is a pet peeve of mine, the belief that homophobes are just closeted gay people, since it removes culpability from straight people (and you know, is not accurate). But he’s a teenage dude and well, Lucas is a closeted gay guy so I’m not gonna get mad about it. Though damn, if Arthur were gay and closeted that would be some good foreshadowing. Takes one to know one?

They get spotted by the teacher and duck under the window. Basile is disgusting. The boys ask what the fuck is wrong with him. Basile does not listen to them because he’s incapable of hearing anything over the constant buzzing in his dick and instead starts telling the boys about his BDSM dream about Daphne and the boys try to get him to shut the fuck up as Daphne appears behind him, but obviously he rambles about his boner until he turns around and does this slapstick-y reaction. I cannot stand him. I’m not as angry about the BDSM dream because he was telling the guys and not trying to tell Daphne on purpose, but this kind of content overall just reinforces him as the bumbling loser comic relief and he’s not fucking funny, he’s deeply creepy and is an actual sexual harasser as we see later in the episode. 

At least Daphne says it’s all a fantasy in his head and never going to happen. ❤️❤️❤️ FUCKING TELL HIM. DESTROY HIM. She continues to be the best character on Skam France. Daphne asks what they’re doing there and Lucas says they’re checking out the hot chicks. Daphne tells them they suck (❤️❤️❤️) before walking off. The other guys are like, seriously Lucas? “Hot chicks”? Well, I don’t see quite how what he said is any worse than what Basile says constantly, including to girls’ faces, so maybe it’s a translation thing? The “hot chicks” phrasing has stronger meaning in French?

Arthur asks if Basile is OK and he says, “I fucked it all up.” DUDE you had ALREADY fucked it up from the time you first opened your mouth around her. And as we see, this does not deter him at all. God!!!!! Please fuck off into the void already.

I’m glad they called out Lucas a little but again, don’t see how he was being any more disgusting than Basile is on a regular basis regarding the misogyny. They didn’t say anything overtly anti-homophobic about Lucas using slurs, like really call him out other than some shocked reaction at him using that word. So I suppose there’s a little more ambiguity over whether they’ll be accepting of Lucas’ sexuality. (I mean, I think they’ll accept him based on what we know about OG, but in-universe there isn’t as much of a tip-off.) I did miss that more educational moment, but I also think that because Lucas still has some Operation Hetero tactics to implement later that day, he might need to not be roasted for his behavior so strongly or who knows, maybe he’d back down. (The OG had Isak apologize to Emma and then the dance chicks clip with Jonas calling him out; this version switches the scenes around.)

Clip 5 - Love confession?

Later, Lucas sees the boy squad in the yard, then he sees Chloé and Maria. Prompted by the need to seem heterosexual in front of the guys and inspired by what he read the previous night, he goes over to Chloé to get himself a hot girlfriend. 

Lucas apologizes to her and he sounds more sincere than fuckboy-ish, which I think fits because the way he pursued her in the first place was not that fuckboy-ish. Slick, but he wasn’t negging her or anything. However, sounding sincere is not being sincere, because this is the biggest crock of shit I’ve heard out of this kid’s mouth this season. It’s so uncomfortably over-the-top, he’s telling her that he met a beautiful first year and he thought it would be casual but actually he’s falling madly in love with her, and OK, slow down. How long have you guys even talked to each other? 10, 15 minutes? Do you know anything about her?

I get Lucas is struggling but I also want to give him a kick in the nuts before he gets another word out and digs that hole deeper because oh my God this is fucking b a d, honestly, way worse than what Isak did to Emma - what Isak did to Emma was not cool, but he was mostly just giving her the indication that he was into her and had a crush, NOT that he had fallen in love with her and had all these deep emotions for her. It’s really cruel to her. (Although girl … are you really gonna fall for this dramatic monologue when you’ve talked to him like three times?) 

He talks about how he’s not handling these feelings well because it’s never happened before, thinking about a girl before he goes to sleep and before he wakes up, wondering what to say to her when he runs into her, and well, I sure as fuck buy it’s never happened about a girl before and that it’s not happening about a girl now. But of course he’s talking about Eliott. He’s just transplanting his feelings for a boy to this fake infatuation with a girl. Lucas blames his behavior on not wanting to seem awkward. Well, I can buy that, just not about Chloé.

Despite this load of floral horseshit, Chloé buys it, because well, she is a teenager. She kisses him passionately right there in the yard. The boy squad sees and approves (Yann’s reactions are particularly funny). Heterosexual mask, securely on.

Lucas walks over and he BETTER not be giving Basile pointers because the last thing Basile needs is encouragement, but nope, that’s what he does, he offered to give Basile lessons. This is like telling Tom Riddle about horcruxes. 

Eliott thankfully interrupts Lucas contributing to Basile’s dicktermination. Did Eliott see Lucas and Chloé kissing? I don’t think so, but man, I kinda wished he did just for the angst. He doesn’t know Lucas is pissed at him yet, he doesn’t know Lucas is gonna bro-zone him in a moment.

Eliott returns Lucas’ scarf. It’s actually Yann’s scarf and Yann seems very happy to have it back, awww. Lucas gets forcibly casual with Eliott. He’s not mean, not rude, exactly, just trying to play off their connection as nothing. They’re casual acquaintances and it’s gonna stay that way. 

Lucas volunteers that Eliott found it in the common room before Eliott can explain how it got it. The acting is pretty good. You can tell Eliott is kinda stung by this greeting, especially when Lucas is like “thanks dude” in an overly platonic way. Which Eliott returns. Eliott is like a warm, friendly guy and that makes it a bummer to see how Lucas reacts and how that makes Eliott deflate.

With Isak and Even, Even noticed Isak’s discomfort in the situation and covered for him, lied for him about finding the hat in the cafeteria. It was a moment that made me love Isak and Even’s relationship before they even got together because even though Isak wasn’t at his best, it was a mark of their connection that Even could read him so easily and didn’t press the situation. Here Lucas shuts out Eliott, he’s covering his own ass. And I’m not sure if Eliott totally realizes what’s going on or if he does pick up on why Lucas is suddenly dude-ing it up and lying. I think he might just be hurt. 

Arthur asks about Eliott, and Lucas starts talking shit about how he’s a stalker with no friends. LMAO. Lucas, the stalker is you, the creeper is you, you were legit just stealing classroom registers over Eliott, you were scouring the Internet for clues of his existence, you are projecting like an IMAX. 

They get invited to Daphne’s party via text, but Lucas is clearly distracted and looking off toward where Eliott went. What a contrast in assessments between Lucas telling us how he’s falling for Eliott by way of telling Chloé it’s about her, and him downplaying and trashing Eliott to his friends. I don’t feel like he can relax around his friends at all.

Clip 6 - Secret school party

There’s a giant group of people gathered outside the gates of the school at night, with the girl squad in front, lots of people in costumes. Time for Daphne’s party.

Ehhh … see this is a fun setup, breaking into the school to have a party, it really is, but in context it’s kinda contrived IMO. I guess Daphne got peer pressured into doing it, I know she wants people to find the common room the cool place to be, but I find it hard to believe someone who’s legitimately invested into fixing up the common room like she is would risk a) getting in trouble for trespassing on school grounds b) dealing with any damage/repairs to the room that happen during the party, like if your plan is to fix up the common room, isn’t the likely potential that someone could break stuff or trash the room worse for your ultimate goal? I fully realize teenagers do a lot of stupid reckless stuff, but I’d find this party more believable if it were thrown by people who did not have a vested interest in the repair and upkeep of that part of the school. For example, if it had been the Raptors throwing a party at school after hours last season, sure, I buy that.

I feel like they just had this because they had to have a party in episode 3 (like in OG Skam) that was related to the school group/project that linked the POV character and his love interest (like in OG) and something about them hosting the party at another character’s house didn’t fit, not when the project is centered around another location.

One way that I would have found this scenario more plausible: Daphne tries to throw a much much smaller get-together, maybe just invite the common room crew, keep it under wraps, nothing extravagant, but word gets out more and more people show up (because who doesn’t want to break into the school at night) and turn it into this big thing and it gets out of hand. We see it go from just a few people hanging around drinking to something wilder, she starts freaking out because it’s too much. Even with the “password” system it seems like she had something bigger in mind from the beginning and IDK, even with Daphne being a social climber, even with teenagers being idiots, it rings a bit off. Sorry to be a buzz kill, like I said, it’s an entertaining scenario in theory.

Anyway, they’re at the school, people are in costume and waiting outside. Basile is wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume. Do you think he wanted the whole squad to go as the turtles, but they did not? They give him weird looks, but dressing as Donatello is legit the least objectionable thing he has done so far this season.

Daphne is dressed as a cat, keeping that Vilde tradition alive.

Lucas has the paint streaks on his cheeks, which is a fun nod to OG and also fitting for the infiltration theme of the party.

Imane says they don’t need the password, Daphne says they do in case there’s a spy. Errr I don’t think a password is going to do you much good. If there’s a mole, I’m sure they got the details from someone else, unless like a 50-year-old teacher is hoping to sneak in unnoticed.

Lol at Yann’s face when he puts on his hood for the “infiltration.” He’s had some great background reactions this episode.

Daphne asks the crowd if they’re ready to infiltrate and they quietly cheer. Basile says “I’ll infiltrate YOU!” and FUCKING KILL HIM, I’M TIRED OF THIS SHIT.

Daphne tells Emma she’s so nervous she almost wore a diaper in case she wet herself and DO NOT LET BASILE HEAR THAT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SAY THAT SHIT WITHIN A FIVE-BLOCK RADIUS OF THAT GUY UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO START HAVING DIAPER FANTASIES ABOUT YOU IN ADDITION TO BDSM DREAMS.

The gate opens and people cheer because apparently everyone’s an idiot who forgot about the request for discretion 10 seconds ago. Teenagers, man.

Yeah, this is fun in like a Hollywood teen movie way but kinda throwing me out of the story, like even the way the crowd is reacting feels too staged and TV-ish. You know IRL when there’s a group of teenagers rowdy and ready to party, they wouldn’t be super unified in their reactions like that, there would be some d-bags not listening, not paying attention to Daphne, they’d be fucking around and doing their own thing. Nothing inherently wrong with this style but not really what I like from Skam, just my preference!

Clip 7 - Giant neon costume party

There’s like a full-ass rave happening in the school and it’s fun but not to be repetitive, feels more like a Hollywood teen movie even in the scope of the party and the way it’s filmed. Especially - and I’m sorry for harping on this but also, not sorry at all - because Basile’s characterization reminds me of one of those stock characters from those films, like that typical obnoxious loser who’s desperate to get laid and ends up banging Stifler’s mom or something.

Basile slumps next to Alexia and says he’s gonna throw up, she says he’ll be fine. She’s a lovely person, but I want to be like RUN AWAY DO NOT ENGAGE.

She points out that Emma and boy Alex are making out and Basile positively jizzes in his turtle onesie, being like THEY’RE GONNA FUCK???? IN THE SCHOOL???? Is it that outrageous of a concept? What did you think was going to happen when you invited a bunch of drunk teenagers to party after hours? 

A girl who looks a bit like Elisabeth Moss walks by and makes eyes at Alexia. Must be Clara! Basile is like, a woman in the same room as me? Can you help me fuck her? Alex says no, it’s her ex, hands off, and that’s Romain’s cue to be like … OHHHH you are bisexual? Alexia cheerfully confirms this. You can see the boner popping in his pants already, let’s be real. Yikes, dude. Her attraction to women isn’t for your enjoyment.

Anyone else getting dancing old man from Six Flags commercials vibes from Arthur dancing in his costume?

Daphne is freaking out and looking out the window, trying to prevent people from smoking. Imane pulls her aside and says everyone’s having fun. Daphne says the smoke detectors might go off and they’ll be in trouble, Imane says she should’ve thought of that before throwing a party in the school. I mean ... yeah? That’s why I’m like, you’re freaking out about this now, you didn’t predict any of these blatantly obvious things that would happen?

Imane’s like “what’s the worst that could happen if they get caught, they won’t expel 50 students at once” and errr IDK, would they have to pay for repairs? Stay after school to clean up the mess? Would the school contact their parents? I can think of a lot of stuff that would suck.

Daphne and Imane go dance. Basile comes up and not only starts to force a dance with Daphne, but in a way that he’s thrusting his crotch against her, trying to touch her and get in her space. Poor Daphne grabs Imane and tries to swing out of the way to avoid him, literally swat him away with her costume’s cat tail. 

For fuck’s sake. I hate this guy, I hope Daphne eventually just punches him in the balls. Listen, I try not to talk like that, but this moment really pissed me off. It’s sexual harassment. Daphne has made it extremely clear to Basile that she is not interested in him. She has said it is never going to happen. And he still does not give up, and this was honestly the worst moment he’s done so far IMO because he’s actually physically bothering her, to the point where she grabs her friend as a shield, to the point where she’s having to swat him away. 

Tons of women have gone through this experience in real life. We’ve met those sleazy guys who would not take no for an answer. We’ve met those guys who wanted to press their bodies against you and grab you when you have zero interest in them. A lot of us have experiences of latching onto our female friends, or our trusted male friends, in an effort to escape these creeps. Imagine the nastiest guy you know in real life, the one who really sends red flags, and imagine him as Basile, yourself in Daphne’s situation. That’s why I don’t feel I’m overreacting here. 

What is the point of this? What is their primary goal with Basile’s character? Comic relief? Or is he meant to be a cautionary tale? Are they building up to a criticism of creepy guy behavior? Because the thing is, they have already established he’s gross. Daphne has rejected him, and he still wants to go after her. I don’t get what more she can do other than beat his ass or complain to the school or something. What, is it going to be like episode 5 when he finally takes a fucking hint? Why was it not obviously clear when she said it was never going to happen? When she tried to escape him at the party? If there’s a more substantial criticism coming, I am genuinely flabbergasted why made Basile 110% disgusting from the very beginning and had Daphne so openly hate his attention, because it feels like the lesson should have happened already. The point has been made. 

You know what could have worked better if they were trying to criticize toxic masculinity? Don’t start off Basile as super gross. Make him insecure, desperate, but not panting after Daphne and begging for her phone number. Have his creepiness escalate bit by bit throughout the season, directly encouraged by Lucas’ own fuckboy behavior. Show how those attitudes spread like a disease. Have Daphne show her disinterest, although she’s mostly just annoyed, until finally he crosses a line and then she blows up at him and says it’s never going to happen. Then that’s it. He leaves her the fuck alone. He learns from his mistakes, though he still doesn’t get with Daphne romantically. 

Lucas and Chloé are talking about music. Chloé happens to like old school rock like AC/DC and The Clash - coincidentally Lucas’ musical taste, as we learned last episode. I wonder if she actually likes them or she just stalked Lucas and found that information on like his Facebook profile. It’d be funny if she was trying to like what Lucas likes and Lucas was trying to likes what Eliott likes. Because suddenly Lucas isn’t a fan of The Clash anymore, he likes dubstep. Duuuuude, come on. I saw how you responded when Eliott put on that record. I’m just imagining Lucas sitting in his room, forcing himself to listen to dubstep because Eliott likes it, in the way you make a child eat Brussels sprouts.

Mika is at the party and lighting up the dance floor, Chloé says gay guys are so funny, they know how to party. Alexia and Imane who happen to be nearby react to that; Alexia says it was a stupid thing to say and Imane says it was a generalization. Chloé says actually it was a nice thing to say.

Okay, I wasn’t a fan of how they did this moment. The positive side: it’s nice that they made Alexia, a member of the LGBT community, react to that comment and call it out, and had Imane call it out as a generalization, because she as a black Muslim would also know about how generalizations affect marginalized groups.  

But no offense, I feel like both S3 remakes so far have missed the point of this moment as it pertains to our POV character. It’s not just a helpful educational moment for the audience. It’s meant as a lifeline to the Isak character. One of Isak’s greatest concerns is how he will be perceived as a gay man, in terms of stereotypes and generalizations. He fears “gay” is a box that will trap him in a certain image, he doesn’t want to be seen negatively as one of those flamboyant gay guys into tights and mascara. He associates “gay” with those generalizations and he fears the social repercussions of that label. We see that when he takes the gay test in episode 3, which is not a measure of attraction to men (as it was in Lucas’ “gay test”) but a collection of stereotypes about gay men’s personality and interests. When he puts down the dance teacher for acting too gay later in the episode, it’s because he wants to distance himself from that type of person. Which is why it’s really important when Even, the guy Isak likes, calls out Emma for using a generalization. Without even knowing the full impact of what he’s saying on Isak, Even provides a counter-argument to the idea that Isak can be summed up as a stereotype. He’s against assigning universal traits to diverse groups of people, and I think he recognizes the trivializing nature of Emma’s comment - gay people are funny to her, it’s like she thinks they’re there to entertain her, it’s this extremely othering remark. Emma is essentially doing something that Isak fears will happen to him if people know he’s gay - just stereotype him and lump him in with all gay people - and Even is there to shut it down. 

And you might say, well, Lucas isn’t Isak, so it doesn’t have to mean the same for him, and ... yeah, it doesn’t, but consider that Lucas’ struggle this week was not really about dealing with stereotypes and generalizations. His “gay test” had nothing to do with that at all. Instead, he was struggling with the exact definition of his sexuality, whether he’s gay or bi or straight, and he was trying to fit himself into a heterosexual box not by distancing himself from generalizations but by dating a girl and using homophobic slurs. Like there’s no moment where he calls out a gay guy for acting too gay. When he calls the boys a slur, it’s not actually a response to doing something perceived as gay. So for the “lesson” here to be the same as it was in the original series, and not tailored to Lucas’s specific struggle this week, is a missed opportunity. For example, I think it would have been better if Chloé used some casually homophobic language - not even maliciously, just in the sense that she’s ignorant and doesn’t realize she shouldn’t say some words as a straight girl - and Alex called her out for that. It would be a counterpoint to Lucas’ own behavior.

Also, I don’t think Lucas had a huge reaction to what Alex and Imane said, anyway; it didn’t seem spotlighted in the directing or acting so while it’s a good lesson for the audience to hear, it doesn’t mean a ton to his character’s state of mind. It’s one of those parts that I feel the remakes are recycling because it is important as a general idea, but I don’t feel like they necessarily get why it was there in terms of Isak’s characterization. 

Additionally, can’t lie, very disappointed that Eliott didn’t get this moment. I appreciate them giving Alexia a lot to do this season, but this part felt really big for Even in the original show, both in characterizing him and in showing how much Isak was affected by his words, because Isak really likes Even and values his opinion (you know, the whole Isak becoming Nas’ #1 fan in a week thing). This is the guy Isak has a crush on who’s shutting down homophobic stereotypes - that made it so important that this dialogue came from Even rather than anyone else. And on a personal note, that clip was the very first Skam clip I ever saw, and that specific moment where Even calls out Emma was not only the first part to impress me and grab my attention, but it made me love Even right off the bat. I loved that he could explain why positive generalizations are still bad because that’s a nuance I think plenty of people, both young and old, don’t understand. It just was a bit of a downer that this really powerful moment didn’t go to Eliott.

Lucas sees Eliott come in with his girlfriend. Eliott has a mask, covering the lower half of his face. How raccoon-ish? But very fitting for the theme of infiltration, and very fitting for his character to be ambiguous and mysterious.

Eliott’s girlfriend is named Lucille, lmao. Lucas and Lucille! Not weird at all! But what’s the significance of gving them both light-related names?

Of course we have the two pairs dancing, Lucas and Chloé and Eliott and Lucille. Lucas stares at Eliott in a very obvious way, like Isak could at least glance at Even over Emma’s shoulder. Lucas has to blatantly turn his head to look at Eliott. He smashes his face into Chloé’s while making eye contact with Eliott, and Eliott obviously sees this and takes it as a personal challenge. He makes out with Lucille and then stares Lucas in the eye. Again, very challenging. With Isak it was more like this painful longing watching Even kiss Sonja, and then Even looked at him not so much as a challenge but to convey his interest in Isak; Isak didn’t keep looking back for that long before he shut his eyes and kissed Emma, probably imagining it was Even. Lucas kissed Chloé first; Eliott was not making out with Lucille until he caught Lucas staring at him with his lips on Chloé’s. Then it was to convey interest and almost a dare for the other to look away first. Very bold of Lucas, although IDK if he was actually trying to issue a challenge or a fuck-you to Eliott or he’s just bad at impulse control. I think the “fuck you” was pretty implied. In more ways than one.

Not gonna lie, the eye-fucking went on long enough that if it had gone on a moment longer, it would start to feel like a parody to me. I was glad the music got cut off and the lights went on when they did.

Everyone bolts and runs out of the school, Daphne seems to be behind everyone. Basile, do something good for once and distract the guard so Daphne can escape! Throw yourself on that grenade!

Lucas just stops and stands there like an idiot, like I know you’re distracted by your Eliott boner and all but move your goddamn ass, until Eliott grabs him by the arm and pulls him to the side. Eliott offers to walk him home.

Eliott really just left his girlfriend behind, huh? I know Even did it too, but he just left Sonja to go hang out and drink with everyone else, not get caught by a night watchman.

I’m not someone who goes gaga over height differences to the extent that a lot of people do, but that sure is a quality height difference between Lucas and Eliott, made very clear by them walking side by side.

As they’re walking, Eliott says it seems are moving fast between Lucas and Chloé. Lucas says it’s cool but then backtracks and says she’s super into him and it’s stressing him out. Eliott looks a little pleased to hear that. He asks Eliott how long he and Lucille have been together, Eliott says a while. Lucas says it shows - errrr, how? You’ve spent like 10 seconds and two words in her company and all you did was see him briefly kiss her hello and then make out on the dance floor, like Emma and Alex have done that much and they’re not even officially together. He’s bitter, I guess. Any girl with Eliott has been with him too long.

Eliott says he thinks his relationship with Lucille is at an end, though, they’re just going in circles, he doesn’t want that. Lucas is like, to be in a relationship? Probably thinking GODDAMMIT. Eliott says he does want to be in a relationship. Lucas is like, so you see yourself with a new girl straight away? Eliott says yeah, and then after a pause, adds not necessarily a girl, though. That pause is what’s important, tbh, the little moment where he’s perhaps thinking of just coming out and saying it to Lucas. Making clear that his sexuality includes guys, making clear that Lucas is on the menu. And of course Lucas kneejerk looks at him like OH SHIT HE SAID IT.

Lucas looks at him, Eliott looks at him, there’s a Moment. They arrive at Lucas’ place. With this music and the way they’re looking at each other, it’s not so much awkward, more like they’re daring each other to take the next step. Eliott says this is where they say good night. The way Eliott glimpses upwards makes me think he was hoping to be invited up (not even to bone, to be clear, just to hang out/make out), and they’re staring at each other when in the background someone’s getting out of a car and taking bags out of a trunk. 

They are hardcore staring at each other and it seems like Eliott moves in just a teeny tiny bit when Manon’s all HEYYYY GUYSSSSS. Lucas looks back at Eliott like, oh, never mind.

IDK how I feel about that ending moment. I feel like it lacks the punch of Manon arriving home, and weirdly downplays the Lucas/Eliott moment. Maybe because the music continues - I would’ve cut off the music when Manon said hello, to break them out of their little bubble, then show her there, cut back to Lucas and Eliott staring at her in shock, in silence. This just felt a little muddled and didn’t land as much emotionally for me.

I’m not like ... angry at Manon for interrupting, I think she could’ve just looked away and pretended to be busy with her bags instead of calling attention to herself. She seems pretty invested in giving Lucas nudges out of the closet, or wanting him to open up to her about it, based on her behavior in other episodes. Like I think she means well, it’s just intrusive. Did she want to interrupt them so Lucas didn’t out himself in front of her? That doesn’t seem entirely congruent with her repeatedly asking him if he’s dating someone or asking about Eliott in the next episode. 

The Lucas/Eliott relationship also feels way more of an inevitability at this point. Eliott isn’t saying he can’t break up with Lucille, his comment about “not necessarily a girl” could not be any more pointed. I’m wondering if they’ll bring as much drama with Lucille later on; if they do play out the part where Eliott goes back to Lucille after telling Lucas he wants to be with him, I think they should’ve kept in that part as it’s important foreshadowing. Not just for his relationship with Lucille, but his bipolar disorder and inner conflict. Like there were zero hints of a conflict within Eliott in this scene, he’s just like, yeah, I should break up with her, maybe I’ll have a relationship with someone who’s not a girl, hint hint. So Lucas really should not be doubting Eliott’s intentions at this stage, frankly. It’s Lucas who’s apparently the obstacle, and who knows how long before he gives in to Eliott’s Eliottness.

Social Media/General Comments:

Yann texts Lucas “Kisses bro” after the locker conversation so basically he’s a stand-up pal, it’s very cute.

Basile at least apologized to Lucas via text for blowing up at him because Basile didn’t get his dick serviced on Friday. He also said he’s not even into Maria anymore, it’s about Daphne now, siiiiiiigh. When he asked about Lucas’ mom, Lucas didn’t really answer, said it was nothing and he was handling it. I mean, if Basile has a mentally ill mom like Magnus, this conversation might take on more significance later, like he could’ve gotten Basile’s advice all along.

On a related note, I know I stroked that Basile hateboner so hard this recap that I’m chafed, and sorry if it got repetitive. But also - he’s bad. He’s really, really bad. And if my comments are repetitive, the show is also repetitive in giving Basile approximately one character trait that’s extremely exaggerated. I don’t think we’ve had one “normal” scene with this guy where he didn’t say something awful, like the closest was the first clip he was in.

Lucas is getting very chummy with the girl squad and taking pics with them. He’s also getting alarmingly cutesy with Chloé, posting a pic of her and using emoji hearts. Though that’s a good detail, of course, it’s him trying to act straight.

Is it just me or have they toned down some of the social media presence from last season? I don’t mind it, I think a lot of the SM stuff is more focused on things relevant to the story.

I’m not even getting into the Eliott puzzle stuff. It’s fun but I’m just gonna sit back and watch it happen, otherwise my brain will melt.

Everyone who attended that party is a total fucking dumbass for posting pictures and IG stories of themselves where they are clearly at the school and in the common room on Friday night. I know that teenagers are not necessarily the best at discretion, but LMAO at the theme of the party being “infiltration” and Daphne trying to have a password when everyone’s posting pictures where people are easily identifiable. If shit had gotten out of hand, then they’d all be screwed. Although this is an obvious consequence of throwing a party in the school, you know some people are going to plaster it all over social media. Not hard to predict. IDK, maybe I’m just a worst case scenario type of person, but imagine if shit got really out of hand, like someone started a fire or there was major property damage or who knows, something even worse, and there had to be an investigation. All of you idiots are fucked. 

Being honest, in some ways I thought this was the weakest of the three episodes so far - not that it was bad, there were certainly good moments. I think they did a solid job with Lucas’ internalized homophobia, as unpleasant as it was to watch, and Alex’s talk about bisexuality was a strong addition to the story. There were some good acting moments. But I felt more of the weaknesses that Skam France had in its previous two seasons. Things like reusing certain moments from Skam while not really fitting or understanding why they were there, more like feeling they had to be there, or some parts that I thought didn’t quite make sense, some moments that were rushed or didn’t have much impact due to the directing.

I’m thinking that this episode is going to be a particular challenge for various remakes to adapt. Some of it might be that it’s very internal, in a way, with what Isak is going through, and that’s not always the easiest to portray. I also felt like OG had a clear thesis statement of sorts with what Julie intended to accomplish with this episode, in terms of the overall story, and it’s something where you can lose the subtleties if you’re not careful.

This reaction probably seems more negative than I actually felt, because overall I did like the episode and still enjoy the season, it’s just that breaking it down and thinking about it more critically, there were more little things that bugged me this week than in the first two.

I’m not French so feel free to clarify if I missed something.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[clockworkmoose]

I’ve only got so much brain-battery to put towards doing things, and this isn’t like, actual physical energy, just.. mental ability-to-want-to-do-shit-instead-of-sitting-like-a-depressed-lump energy. If I’ve got a high charge, it’s easy enough to spend some and do a fun thing, and then go to bed and by the morning it’ll be recharged up to full

but the farther down I drain that battery level, the harder and longer it takes to recharge. So doing something social with friends when I’m at high battery is fun! but doing something social with friends when I’m at low brain-energy will take longer to come back and it makes me wary because what if I get so low, I can’t recharge? And then the energy I spend just keeps draining away faster than it comes back, I can’t replace it fast enough and I have to sequester myself away for days just to regain the energy I spent in half a day.

And I’ve been really, really struggling the past 6-ish months, because I’ve got this one terrible, terrible chaotic employee. She started out not terrible when I hired her, but she’s been careening wildly off in a worse way over the past year, and then six-ish months ago I had to start giving her twice the hours and relying much more heavily on her, which put me in much closer proximity to her and right in the way of her chaos, and she is an absolute DRAIN. And just. Trying to distance myself from her doesn’t really work, it’s a really small business, I work very closely with my employees, and every day I see her, and even some I don’t but don’t worry! She’ll keep me updated via text or phonecalls! she just... absolutely sucks energy out of me and trying to avoid her has only somewhat worked! I can tell her straight to her face “stop telling me about your personal life” and she goes “oh, okay” and launches right into another story about how the red dots on her arm means she got AIDS from sleeping with a guy a decade ago, and the doctors are conspiring against her when they say she’s clean, and don’t I just agree with her that it’s terrible malpractice and immoral of them to hide something that important from her?

And starting when I gave her more hours, I could feel my brain battery energy just,, draining away because of her. It was kind of horrifying, in that vague-back-of-the-mind way of thinking about how my brain works, just watching myself actively WANTING to do things, WANTING to talk to people WANTING to sew and make things WANTING to go to social stuff with friends... and just being completely unable to force myself to actually do those things because I either hadn’t had the brain energy, or was so close to this chasm tipping point where I knew if I spent that last little bit of energy I’d absolutely fall into this place of being so low on energy it would take ages to recharge even the tiniest bit, so I was straight up avoiding doing anything at all except going home and basically curling up with app games or tv show reruns and doing nothing because I had to reserve those tiny shreds of energy I had left to be sapped away by this employee. Which was just making me fucking PISSED like why was I letting her lay claim to my brain battery, instead of letting me use it as I wanted??? But I didn’t really have a choice, because she WAS going to drain that energy, whether I wanted her to or not; I can’t just decide to not lose energy when she starts yapping at me, holy crap if I could have done that, it would have saved me so so many problems?

Until maybe two-three months ago, I actually hit that chasm tipping point and it’s been incredibly bad, like, even basic just “I should eat food” has been more energy than I’ve been able to spend, and even then at close to zero energy, employee was still sucking away the little bits I recharged every day, I was not getting better in any way at all, it’s been hell. Like, even though nothing actively BAD was happening, I just. Felt like everything was absolute hell, and felt all the worse for it because nothing was actually physically wrong, I wasn’t dealing with any specific issues or problems, I was just kind of cruising through life vaguely existing, which I think in part made me feel worse. There wasn’t actually anything WRONG, I just wasn’t doing things I would have liked to be doing. And it’s super easy to just say ‘well if you want to be doing something and you’re not doing it, that’s on you then, innit?’ and blame yourself for just being lazy, or making that choice to not do things for yourself. 

But I was in this place of NOT being able to make that choice for myself, I didn’t have the energy to make those kind of decisions and was just wallowing, and that’s really hard to explain and verbalize, especially to people who aren’t fighting with their adhd brains to just feel normal? It’s so angering to be sitting there thinking you want to do something but not being able to actually start doing it and just sitting there wondering why you’ve not started doing it yet because you want to... Like I can deal with this on a normal day when I have brain energy because I can recognize when my brain is doing that and do this hard reboot and reset, tell myself I’ll do something else instead until I find something my brain has the energy for, and then after I’ve started that thing, segue into the thing I’d actually wanted to do instead, but for months I just couldn’t recognize that my brain wasn’t working until after the fact looking back and wondering why I didn’t eat anything all day and realizing that I’d gotten stuck and didn’t even know and realizing that I’ve not been in control- and even recognizing that knowing that fact would do nothing for the next time, so fuck me!!!

But I finally got another person working for me, and rearranged the work schedule to minimize my contact with soul sucking employee, and after a month of this new schedule I’m feeling maybe 15-20% charge again? Like, enough that I’m starting to do things again, I’m finally out of that chasm, but barely, barely. This weekend I cleaned the living room! I’m working on two sewing projects! Well- one! I started one and hit a road bump and had to set it aside because troubleshooting it was going to take too much brain energy, so I started working on a different project instead and I’ll come back to the first once I’ve recharged a bit more!

But I’m still feeling so absolutely mentally fragile, I have to be gentle on my brain, and I’m afraid that just one more story from this employee about her shitstorm of a life or how she’ll be taking her case against this drunk-driver-sent-by-a-cult-to-assassinate-her all the way to the supreme court (as well as getting the lawyer who didn’t want to help disbarred for “failing to serve the good of the public” (????)) will be more than enough to shatter this little bit of progress back up I’ve made and send me back spiraling down.

But now that I mentally CAN do fun things like work on my galaxy quilt, I NEED to use some of this energy for myself, I have to do SOMETHING because I feel like if I don’t, I’m falling apart and losing myself completely, and not using the energy I have now will be as worse as saving it up and waiting for a full charge because there won’t be anything left of me if I wait any longer.

This month, I only had six days where I was physically in contact with this employee and only answered one phone call from her (misread her name and thought it was someone else; was upset at myself) and only replied to 2 out of her 76 (I counted) text messages. NONE of which contained info I actually needed to be informed about while I was out of work and off the clock.

So that’s good, now I know what kind of level I need to keep her at in order to regain my energy she stole.

But what’s not great is in the first two weeks of July, I’ve already got 5 days I will overlap with her and have to be in contact, and I’m straight up terrified of losing this tiny bit of progress I’ve made because I want to feel normal I want to be able to want to do something and then just... do it! Not sit there wanting to do something and being driven to tears because I can’t actually start doing it! It’s fucking terrible not having energy! And I hate it I hate it, I hate her for taking so much time an energy from me, and I can’t get rid of her, and am honestly thinking of getting rid of myself, finding a new job doing something else that is less relevant to my interests and sucks more energy--- because at this point, even a job I hate would probably take less energy than dealing with is employee does. But there’s just no stable steady jobs available, and I can’t responsibly plan on hopping from temp job to temp job assuming I’ll just ~have a paycheck each week~ because I’m the one currently supporting the house so that James can focus on finishing his dissertation this year and finally get his phd over and done with.

So I’m just hunkering down, recharging as much energy as I can now this week so that next week hopefully I’ll have the energy to lose again.

[squirrelly831]

Forget Me Not [Part II]

Masterlist

Genre: Angst

Characters: Hyunsik x Original Character [Jihye]

Word Count: 2654

After getting all of the member’s numbers, Jihye was luck to meet with everyone except Hyunsik. Their schedules never matched up. That was until one weekend, she was caught up on her work, so she didn’t go in on her day off when he called to meet up at a park, “Hey, Hyunsik! Thanks for meeting up with me” Jihye greeted as Hyunsik took a seat on the bench beside her.

He grinned brightly, “Of course. I want to help as much as I can to make this comeback amazing!”

Jinhy nodded, “So, tell me about yourself. Where are you from and what made you become an idol?” Hyunsik began explaining and their conversation became something natural. As if they were old friends catching up. He told her about his life and she about hers.

“I have a question for you, that bracelet. Why do you still wear it? You said it was from just some friend.” His demeanor changed a little and Jihye looked down at her right wrist that rested on the table.

She shrugged, “I don’t really know.”

“Oh… Do you remember who gave it to you?” There was a hopeful note in his voice, but it died when her head shook.

She fixed her sleeve and that’s when his eyes caught her engagement ring, “I have faint memories about who gave it to me. My fiancé asks me about it all the time.” She smiled.

“Fi-fiance?”

Jihye nodded as she held out her hand to show the ring, “We’re getting married in November.”

Hyunsik cleared his throat, “Wow, that’s cool.” He looked at his watch and stood. “Sorry to end this early, but I have to go. I have another interview I need to prepare for.” Then he fled.

After that, for the remainder of Jihye’s time with the members, when she was with Hyunsik, he was cold. He gave short curt answers. Sometimes no answers at all. She didn’t understand what changed from their first meeting. She grew close to all the other members who were all equally shocked with Hyunsik’s behavior and would periodically apologize for him. However, as the comeback approached, and the photoshoot began, she found it almost unbearable to be around him. Hyunsik and Jihye were at each other’s throats arguing about lighting or poses. It would take Changsub or Eunkwang to intervene and break it up. It was awkward being around him, but Jihye loved being around the boys even if Hyunsik had to join.

“Hey, wait, give that back!” Jihye tried to get her bracelet back from Changsub. Jihye was just hanging out with Changsub and Peniel, two of the ones she grew close to, when Changsub asked to see her bracelet. However, when he got it, he refused to give it back.

He held it over her head and laughed as she struggled for it, “Why? You niece make it for you? Is that why you wear it?” He teased.

Jihye felt her panic grow as she watched it dangle, “Someone important made it when I was a kid. Please just give it back.” She didn’t like not having it on. She didn’t feel right without it.

A hand reached out and took the bracelet from Changsub. She felt a hand grab her wrist and the bracelet fell back to its place, “Next time, don’t take it off. Changsub, stop taking things that don’t belong to you.” Jihye turned just in time to see Hyunsik head off to his room.

“What’s his deal? I was just playing around?” Changsub scratched his head in confusion.

“This is for you…” a blurred hand reached out towards her. “We’ll be together forever!”

She took the bracelet he made her and continued to sniffle, “But we’re supposed to get married.” The water works began again and he hugged her.

“Don’t worry! I’ll find you and marry you! Just wait for me. I’ll find you in America o-or you can come back here and find me.”

She sniffled, “I’ll find you, Hyunsik oppa! Then you have to marry me!”

Jihye shot up from the couch startling Minkyu who was on the chair beside her.

“You okay, love?” She looked over at him and he saw tears gather in her eyes, “Baby, what’s wrong?” He got off the chair and sat beside her as she cried silently. In confusion, he held her close and soothed her, “It’s okay. It was just a nightmare.”

Her left arm reached up and her finger gripped his shirt tightly. She wished it was just a nightmare. She cradled her right arm and her eyes remained on the bracelet. A nightmare would be better than the pain she was feeling at the moment.

“Baby, are you sure you want to go out this late? I’ll come with you” Minkyu insisted as he went for his coat.

“No, it’s fine. I just need some fresh air. I’m going to go meet up with someone for a bit. I’ll be back later” she smiled.

He gave her a small smile and kissed her cheek, “Okay… I love you. Who are you going to be with?”

“I love you too, Hyuns—Minkyu” their eyes widened in shock before Jihye let out a weak laugh, “Sorry, my head was thinking one thing and my mouth said another. I’m going to meet up with Hyunsik. I guess I’m still tired.” She leaned up and kissed Minkyu. “I love you, Minkyu. Don’t wait up.”

Minkyu nodded hesitantly, “Okay. At least text me when you get there and when you head back, okay?” She nodded in response and left the apartment. Minkyu watched her leave and he sighed when she shut the door, “I regret moving back…”

Jihye leaned on the door for a moment and touched her lips. Every time she kissed Minkyu, she felt a spark. It went down her spine and made her feel like she was invisible, but that kiss. She didn’t feel anything.

She stood out at Banpo Bridge waiting for Hyunsik. It was late enough that not many people lingered there. Her fingers twirled the beads on her bracelet. Did he know? Is that why he became so cold to her? Because she forgot him. She heard his shoes before she saw him descend down the giant rock like stairs.

He stopped in front of her, pocketing his phone that was in his hand, and he placed both hands in his jean pockets, “What do you want? Do you realize what time it was?”

“You could have told me no” she countered.

He huffed, “Look, I don’t have all day. I’m busy in case you forgotten. I need to work on the tracks before the album comes out. What do you want?”

Jihye nodded and bowed, “I’m sorry. I wanted to ask you about something.”

“What is it? I thought we already did all this personal meeting stuff.” He sighed.

She showed him her bracelet on her wrist, “Why didn’t you tell me? That you were the boy?”

Hyunsik shrugged, “Would it matter? You’re engaged.” He stared at the bracelet for a while.

“Tha-That’s not relevant.”

He scoffed as he looked up at her, “But isn’t it? I don’t even know why you wear that stupid thing still. It’s not like you kept the promise anyway.” He looked at his watch, “Look, if this is all you wanted, I need to go. Thanks for wasting my time.” He turned and went back the way he came.

“Hyunsik, wait” Jihye went after him and grabbed his arm.

Hyunsik yanked his arm from her as he violently turned, “Stop! Why does this matter? We were just kids.” He pulled at his hair as he looked at her, “Did you think I meant it? I was 10. Who would actually take that seriously?” He snarled.

Jihye let out a breath of disbelief and closed her eyes as the tears fell, “Yea… You’re right. It was foolish… Sorry for wasting your time. Here, I don’t think I should keep this.” She pulled off her bracelet and held it out to him, but she kept looking down. Hyunsik watched as the tears fell, and he went to speak up, but he bit his lip to keep quiet. He took the bracelet from her, stuffed it in his pocket, and walked away. Once he was out of view, Jihye squatted as she pressed her hands to her mouth to muffle her sobs.

“Ji-ji” Soyeon called out as she knocked on Jihye’s office door. When she didn’t get a response, Soyeon walked inside and saw Jihye staring at her art tablet, “Hey Jihye. You awake in here.” She shut the door and walked up to Jihye. She grew concerned seeing Jihye not respond, “Girly, what’s wrong?” She turned the chair to face her, “Did something happen between Minkyu and you?” She shook her head. “Baby girl. Talk to me… please. You’re scaring me” Soyeon begged. Jihye looked dead. There was no light in her eyes and they were puffy from crying the night before.

“I found the boy” she whispered.

Soyeon smiled, “That’s great, but I don’t get what this has to do with anything.”

Jihye cursed as she tugged at her hair, “Fuck, I’m so stupid…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Hyunsik…”

“What about him? Wait” her eyes widened, “he’s the boy! That’s great, you got your childhood best friend back. Why do you look so broken?”

Jihye’s eyes teared up, “That dream… That promise. Why did I break it?” Her voice shook as she spoke and Soyeon let out a huff of air.

Soyeon grabbed Jihye’s shoulders in concern and anger, but mainly out of anger, “You are marrying Minkyu in a month! Stop thinking about that stupid dream!” She shook her a few times, “So what if Hyunsik was the boy you said you’d marry? You were 8! You grew up! You’re an adult now and you fell in love with Minkyu—”

“I don’t know if I love him…” Jihye whispered as she looked down at the ground. “I came to Korea hoping I would run into him… Maybe I wanted to find him like because he didn’t find me.”

Soyeon’s face twisted in annoyance as she let go of Jihye’s shoulders, “I love you and you are my best friend, so I’m telling you this now. You’re not just ruining your own life by lingering on some stupid kid promise. You’re wasting a lot of people’s time and money. Life isn’t some game, Jihye. You’re going to hurt a lot of people, so stop being so fucking selfish.” She huffed before she stormed off leaving Jihye alone in her office.

A month passed and Soyeon and Jihye hadn’t talked much since then. Jihye was even distant with Minkyu even though she didn’t realize it. Her conversations with the BTOB members became minimal as they released the album. Even though, Peniel, Sungjae, and Minhyuk periodically tried to talk to her. She tried to just focus on work and the wedding prep which had become her worse nightmare. When her bride maids threw her the idea of a bachelorette party before her wedding, but she declined wanting to focus on work. However, Soyeon was not having that as an answer and forced the party.

So, Jihye was out with her girls for her bachelorette party. She didn’t want to do anything crazy as she never saw the whole point of acting like idiots.

Soyeon approached Jihye shyly and bit the inside of her lip, “I’m sorry…” Jihye was going to reply, but Soyeon held up a hand, “No, don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who snapped at you when you were in a crisis. I should have been supportive.” Jihye said nothing as she wrapped her arms around Soyeon and she hugged back.

“Okay ladies! Break it up!” Christi screamed as she broke the hug, “We are going to get in the club and we are going to find us some sexy men to dance with, got it?” The two girls nodded and Christi strutted inside the club.

Soyeon stared at Jihye in disbelief, “Just where do you find your friends?”

“I ask myself that too all the time.” Jihye laughed as she looped arms with Soyeon and entered the club.

Almost upon entrance, Jihye’s three bride maids, Christi, Shannon, and Abby, were swept up by three men and out on the dance floor. Soyeon was with Jihye rejecting each guy who approached her.

“You should dance” Jihye shouted.

Soyeon took a swig of her cocktail, “And leave the bride to be alone? Nah!” She laughed just as another man approached her.

“Would you like to dance?” He asked kindly.

“N-”

“She’d love to!” Jihye interrupted her and started to shoo her. Soyeon glared at her before reluctantly agreeing. As Soyeon was getting out of the booth, Jihye’s phone rang. “Hello?” No response. Jihye looked at the caller ID before pressing the phone back to her ear, “Hyunsik?” Soyeon gave her a look as she looked back. Jihye waved her off and Soyeon gave her a sad look before letting the stranger to lead her off to the dance floor.

“Why…”

It was hard to hear him over the loud music, so she got out of the booth and went to the bathroom hallway where the music was barely heard, “Hyunsik?” She heard him take a gulp, “What’s wrong?”

“Why him” he sniffed. “Why didn’t you wait for me? I-” he choked on a cry, “I became famous to find you, so—why didn’t you keep your promise?” Hyunsik cried.

Jihye pressed her shaky hand to her mouth as a tear fell. She could hear the pain in his drunken words. He wasn’t even slurring, but she could tell he was drunk by the way he mumbled in between his words. “I’m sorry…” she whispered as she moved her hand to her hair.

“Don’t marry him. I love you! I’ve always loved you!” He got louder, “That song was for you. That track I worked so hard on… I thought of you.”

Jihye swallowed as she pulled her phone from her ear and hung it up before turning it off entirely. She couldn’t listen anymore. Tomorrow she was marrying Minkyu. It was too late to change her mind.

After the club, Jihye returned to her home alone even though her friends wanted her to spend the night at their hotel. She couldn’t do it. She knew she couldn’t keep up the façade of a happy bride to be like she could at a club. So, there she lay in bed wide awake. She turned to her side and her tears slid across her face on to her pillow. She felt a terrible pain in her heart as she clutched her pillow. She was glad Minkyu was out with his guys because she didn’t know how to explain to him why she felt like her heart was being ripped to shreds. She ended up crying herself to sleep reliving Hyunsik’s words and haunted by the broken look on his face when she backed away from him.

Hyunsik’s phone is what woke him first. He groaned feeling the hangover as his hand blindly searched for his phone. When he picked it up he pressed the green circle, “ewwo?” He yawned as he sat up and moved to the end of the bed.

“Hyunsik? Are you seriously still asleep? The wedding is in three hours” Minhyuk shouted and Hyunsik cringed. “Get dressed! We’re supposed to leave in an hour to check in to the venue. I’m sending Sungjae and Changsub up to your room” then he hung up.

Hyunsik threw down his phone and rubbed his eyes, “I don’t think I can do this.” He felt the tears form and he wiped his eyes with his hands before covering them with his right hand. The tears continued to fall. [Continuation]

-Written by Squirrelly831; gif by respected owner

If you like my work please like and share it!

[nightcoremoon]

look. dipshit. you appear to be slightly stupid, so I'm going to explain this in simpler terms. I'm not going to speak like a caveman so if you get tripped up by compound complex sentences then don't even bother replying because the conversation will end, so let's hope you have your reading glasses on and that you can read at AT THE VERY LEAST an 11th grade level.

op was talking specifically about transphobia on youtube, and her experience with filtering transphobic bigots manually, putting the slurs on the auto-mute list, and witnessing the amount of transphobic comments dwindling with minimal effort on her part.

40ounce then pointed out the minimal amount of effort, and drew the conclusion that social platforms such as youtube twitch etc are fully capable of enforcing easy solutions that dispel bigotry and slurs, but they DON'T, because of conclusions that can easily be inferenced by the context.

I then pointed out that twitch recently did ban several terms from their use. I listed off words that /other people/ use- again, I listed off words that /other people/ use- and once more so that I know you can read it, I LISTED OFF WORDS THAT /OTHER PEOPLE/ USE- that should be enough times or else I pray to the flying pasta monster for anyone else who ever has to deal with having a text based conversation with you in your adult years when it's about shit that's actually fucking important because good god you've not made a good impression as of yet.

incel is a word that is often used by various people as an insult to be applied against a certain type of person, ie a right wing reddit frequenter who is typically misogynist. so is virgin. so is neckbeard. and so is fucking simp. me saying that sometime people will use the word simp, me saying that sometimes people dab, me saying that sometimes people will say finna or lit or fam or bae, these are examples of academic usage of terms in context. I am not using the word, I wrote it as part of a list of other words that have been banned by twitch within the confines of this conversation about social media platforms and banning certain key phrases.

my comment was relevant to the discussion at hand, especially concerning my status as also trans. the inference that can be made from what I said is as follows: the fact that twitch will ban the usage of the word simp, the word incel, and the word virgin, but NOT transphobic and ableist slurs or, hey, even words with racial connotations- indicates that twitch does not give a single shit about trans people and those with developmental disabilities and people of color, and instead caters to coddle people who get offended by being called an incel, a virgin, or a simp- which, yes, is aave, it's also a noun, it's also a four letter word, it also has only one vowel, these are other apt descriptors of the word in question that aren't fucking relevant either- even when in the circumstance they are being an entitled man who believes he is owed sex by women just for existing or in the more specific circumstance who give money to a female content creator in the hopes that she will give him attention (if only there was a word that describes this exact scenario 🤔🤔🤔).

I don't owe you anything, least of all changing the entire context of what I'm saying, to cater to your fragile, delicate sensibilities. what, am I supposed to change what I said to "twitch will block tangerine, incel, and virgin," because I can't even mention the word simp in passing? people don't use tangerine as an insult until now, you dumbass fucking tangerine. now, see, I would understand your outrage if I had said a slur that I had no business to reclaim. if I had said something like the n-word (with context, without context, doesn't matter, it's still a slur) then as everyone has so clearly established, i would definitely and wholeheartedly be in the wrong. but hey, newsflash asshole, me calling someone a simp and using the appropriated aave as an insult that it may be frowned upon for me to use, and me referring to the social trend of humans who may or may not have a fucking hall pass to use it saying the word as an insult within the context of humans using words as insults, are completely different contexts. and you're old enough to know that.

you pointing out that some random word that I referred to in the context of words that other people use on the internet, has

literally fucking nothing

to do with what anyone else was saying.

especially because the socially conscious conversation was about trans people and the terms used against us, and not any racial discourse. it wasn't about specifically black trans people, or specifically indigenous trans people, or any specific ethnic group that also happened to be trans. this conversation wasn't even about trans people in general, it was specifically about one trans woman seeing the effects of specifically transmisogynistic slurs being filtered out of the comments on her and specifically her alone's videos. every single addition to the post, besides yours, had to do at least tertiarily to the subject matter at hand.

you strutting about waiting for senpai to notice you and pat you on the head so you can feel all warm and fuzzy inside for standing up against racism doesn't help anyone. it doesn't help out trans people, it doesn't help out black people, it doesn't help anyone given the context. it's just a waste of everybody's time, preaching to the choir who already fucking knows all this shit. I never said I use simp, you assumed because you typed before reading. you zeroed in on the fact that a word coined by the black community was used regardless of why it was used or the context it was used in. I even put it in quote marks. there's a research paper I read a few years ago where a heterosexual woman was doing research on the usage of "fag" by high school white boys and why they use it if it's as they claim not in a homophobic context, and she- a straight person- wrote the word fag several times as she was quoting it and even referring to the whole situation as "the 'fag' discourse". and that's an actual slur, so I'm sure you must be shitting yourself in rage knowing that now, just absolutely frothing at the mouth because someone isn't following the ludicrous policy you seem to be so zealously sworn to uphold. unless you know that using words in context is different than using them as insults when the words aren't actually slurs.

clearly you were just seeking the gold star that the grown-ups were gonna hand out because wow good job you earned internet points for knowing just barely enough about the world that you can scrape a tiny scrap of clout out of the garbage.

so

! GOOD JOB !

🎊🎊🎊

conglaturations on being the most woke person in the whole internet 👏🏻👏🏻 that's me clapping for you. go on, take a bow, you earned it uwu

so now, fuck off, you pretentious cunt. <3

it's not relevant. good day to you.

I have a zero tolerance policy for transphobia in my youtube comments: if someone is maliciously transphobic even once then I not only remove their comment, I mute that user across my entire channel and add the transphobic term they used to the list of words that automatically mutes the comment. Since I started doing this I've noticed a MASSIVE improvement in my comments: like, the first video after I came out there was loads of transphobia, the second one less, the third one even less, and now it's been almost 24 hours and there's been like 10? This leads me to two related conclusions:

1) Transphobes aren't very original: they keep using the same stock phrases so it's very easy to filter them out

2) There aren't that many of them. It's just the same few hundred assholes every time.

[analytic-chaoticism]

Hiveswap, Cherubs, Fantrolls, First Guardians, Limebloods: How Does This Concern Me?

New year, new theory! With Hiveswap hot on our heels it’s fitting that we kick 2017 off with a bang, right? Gotta get my bets in before the races start! You know what they say right? Go big or go home.

So let’s make the first theory of the year a Hiveswap plot forecast!

Let’s talk about how the fantroll we saw for 2 panels might actually tell us how Doc Scratch and cherubs factor into the plot of the game.

This is definitely a lot more interesting than the Handmaid.

Longish post warning. We’ve got some potential to discuss.

We know Mierfa and Nektan are going to appear in Hiveswap.

Considering their donors paid $10,000 this is only fair. As we can see here their designs have been altered a bit but they are still very much the canon fantrolls we know and love. Obviously we don’t have images of what they’d look like in the new spriting style but let’s just imagine it.

So how are they relevant? Well how did they die?

A particularly destructive male cherub attacked them.

Now if they’re appearing in Hiveswap at relatively the same age (judging by appearance and stylization) that they appeared in Homestuck, we know they lived on Alternia and not possibly some sort of troll colony planet that might exist.

What happened to this destructive male?

He fought a protective female…

And laid an egg. Calliope and Caliborn’s egg.

After killing Mierfa and Nektan he would go on to lay the cherubs of Homestuck. You could say Mierfa and Nektan’s death - and subsequently the other deaths that occurred (let’s not forget those) - were part of a crucial series of events that would lead to Caliborn’s birth. We’ll get to that in a moment.

Now if this cherub attacked Alternia, shouldn’t it be destroyed?

Why doesn’t troll land look like this?

What drew him to Alternia specifically, of all the other planetary bodies he could have destroyed? And what drove him away before he could finish the job? What could interrupt a destructive male cherub? It looks like he only managed to cause minimal damage, killing a crowd and… then what?

Well we’re not sure, but we know Alternia is relatively fine. Maybe there’s an area the size of a city which is a big smoldering crater now but even so the whole thing should be kaput right?

Question 1: Why Alternia?

I imagine the immense amount of Time and Space energies released by a cherub portal would draw his attention, and most likely drive his soon to be guardian female mate to pick up the pace in her chase.

Question 2: What drove him away?

Well we have some key players involved here.

Alternia has 2 first guardians, and one is VERY invested in the birth of Caliborn. One also presumably doesn’t happen to exist very much in Homestuck.

We have the puppet men backing up Scratch. 

A powerful, durable troll with an army worth of clown cult and adult trolls on call who is also invested in the birth of Caliborn and Calliope (keep in mind I’m not sure if it will be THIS highblood but I’m assuming there’s always a purple filling the position. Purples live for at least centuries and we don’t know where the GHB falls onto the Homestuck chronology so maybe they’re alive for Hiveswap but die before Homestuck?).

The Handmaid (who I covered in another theory alongside Scratch) - http://analytic-chaoticism.tumblr.com/post/154670995195/the-handmaid-in-hiveswap-homestuck-ancestors-in

Perhaps the female cherub’s hastened approach scared him off as well. But let’s also consider our protagonists.

We have no idea what items they’ll come across, but perhaps a juju or doomsday device they could discourage a cherub with?

Either way there are a lot of strong people invested in both Alternia not being destroyed and the cherubs having giant space snake sex. LE himself should theoretically be able to appear but that might bog down the lore a bit too much. Introducing Scratch and having him say something like ‘I work under a cherub with control of time who retroactively employs me to ensure his arrival, one of these things being getting his dad to not blow up the planet and then get laid’ isn’t too dense though. I can’t say anything for certain.

Perhaps the Axolotl sacrifices itself in the process of defending its planet?

In doing this it would make sense that Scratch could fully assert himself (as if he hadn’t already) as the first guardian, and explain why the axolotl never appeared in Homestuck despite FGs playing pivotal roles.

There are only two reasons Scratch would let the axolotl live lest it interfere with his activities: 1 - The indigenous FG lived within one of Scratch’s blindspots, or 2 - Scratch knew that it would be necessary in the fight against the cherub and so let it live that it may die valiantly defending its planet, ensuring the survival of Alternia and the birth of Caliborn. The male cherub, defeated, would slink off (and possibly universe hop to Universe C at a point in time where Earth is dead like we see in-comic, which is not that far fetched because chronospace universe hopping cherub portals exist and cherubs themselves are connected to ‘all that is eternal’).

So, is one of the possible events we see in the climax of the action of Hiveswap the attack of Calliope and Caliborn’s father on Alternia? Perhaps.

You could say that this is too confusing, incorporating such dense aspects of the Homestuck mythos but think of it like this: Scratch reveals that he has been manipulating events the whole game so that things may transpire in a way which culminates with the attack and defeat of the cherub, who would then lay the egg of his employer, a worse cherub who hired him retrospectively with some achronological time shenaynays like the Handmaid. Calliope and Caliborn, nor who they are or what they go on to do in Homestuck, are mentioned. Simple.

Kind of.

I mean I could see it all being explained pretty clearly in a 5 minute dialogue sequence in a way that unpacks the dense timeline relatively simply.

Possibly.

==>

Now this is where I’m going to throw in a crackpot ass idea, so bear the fuck with me. You think introducing Homestuck events into the mix is getting crazy? You think Hiveswap resulting in the birth of Homestuck’s villain is crazy? Well what else could I be cooking up.

“Crazy” Idea: Lime Bloods In Hiveswap Help Stop The Cherub

In an exchange on Twitter with Hussie (which not naming names BUT the person who asked him may or may not have been me on my first Twitter account under my old alias shhhhhhhhhhh) it was confirmed that limebloods would be in Hiveswap.

Limebloods were wiped out by the highbloods because their abilities scared them. Now what would scare a highblood, someone who benefits from their societal position as the violent oppressors of the lower castes who live in fear of their chucklevoodoos and rage?

Emotional manipulation abilities. The power to pacify.

Karkat is a mutant, placed on the hemospectrum between yellow and olive, where lime green would go. Here we see him pacifying the highblood rampage anger of his moirail. This is denoted by lime green text. Somehow, rubbing Gamzee’s face pacifies him after he killed 2 of his friends and beheaded 4? Uh huh. Sure Jan.

Idea: Karkat is a limeblood mutant. This mutation arose from ineffective attempts to purge limebloods from genetic materials. Their psychic powers to calm the highbloods who rely on their rage and strength to dominate the lowbloods caused them to fear them and kill them as a result.

If we learn more about limebloods in Hiveswap not because we get to hear about troll history, but because we’ve gone to a point in time where limebloods still EXIST, what if a bunch of them come to pacify the male cherub? Use their powers to calm down his violent rampage enough for everybody else mentioned above to land some strong hits on him and scare him away without too much fighting back? This frightful display of power - the ability to stop an incredibly destructive cherub in its tracks, or at least chill him out a bit - would definitely be enough to incite genocide on the part of the highblood’s.

Do keep in mind that this is possible! In one of the KS updates, Hussie said the time in which this takes place on Alternia is ‘nebulous.’ It could be decades or ‘centuries’ before the events of Homestuck. Centuries is long enough for limebloods to still be around I feel.

What if Fiamet - who appears to have an affinity for axolotls, coincidentally - is lime and not olive (NOTE: this would be really awkward because my limeblood OC has the axolotl as a lusus Hussie I’m sorry I have to sue you I have no choice).

Also I would just like to say that Fiamet feels… odd to me. Like it doesn’t sound quite like the rest of the troll names? Calliope did say that limebloods had strange names. I dunno. Might just be me.

Anyway, there are some thoughts for you.

Happy 2017!

[horrible-monstrosity]

ep 6 what does sumo have to do with anything? fuck you that's what why is yellow still lusting for pinky when their assballs (desires) have been pulled out? showing characters with a driving desire when that's been removed, how differently they would act, would be quite interesting and thematically functional, but nah fuck you gay funny laugh at funny gay ikuhara has much repsect for the legbutts see it's just like yurikuma and utenna do kappas shit in the woods

'awre you gonna awwest me becas i stole kazu-chans smiwle??? ):' 'fucking who'

then some other stuff happens but it's just fucking dumb who cares

explanation of assballs makes no sense. the boys have been getting their assballs asspulled every day but they haven't disconnected, they even fight by specifically connecting with each other in a circular formation. but iku explained his muh dramatic twist with lots of dialogue so that's how it is. this is what i mean by not flowing, in the best insane works you can get away with minimal explanation, and what explanation there is only serves to smooth things over or even to just show what the characters themselves make of it. in meguka mami tells seyiku and meduka witches have barriers and familiars because that's all that's relevant to her, but there's so much more you can pick up on just from the way they're designed and how they function. even when koobs tells us all witches is mahu shujus the audience can make further inferences as to what those girls were like before witching just based on the details, because it's all a coherent system. in angel's egg, fucking nothing is explained, because(partly) to the characters nothing that happens is out of the ordinary, but it all flows together because the whole thing is just well thought out and thematically coherent, so you can make inferences about the setting and characters' motivations based on internal and external factors even if there's no clear answers given. but in sarazmahcreampie the show has to tell us things outright because everything's at odds with itself, so it tells us shit that contradicts what we've previously seen as the shit it's explaining to us is happening because the thing happening can't just stand with what's already been shown and thus can't explain itself. it's a mess. are they actually going to deal with this later on, like the boys will be reluctant to become kappa because they could end up permanently disconnected, or is it just going to be fucking forgotten? not that becoming kappa was ever a coherent plot beat, sometimes the guys deliberately ask for it to get something important back, but then this time kapprince forces it on them because whynaut. that could even have been used to explain the failstate, kapprince forced them to go because this one was bigger and badder than before so it absolutely needs to be taken care of now, and they need to be extra focused fighting it but aren't because of what just happened, so factors aligned to fuck them over. see, actual storywriting

then it was all pointless because bro's still alive anyway asdjkgczcjzrdxcjd bjueaj bstevjhbc g when the fuck did bro send this long-ass text to not-sara anyway why is blue doing the big kick when he's the only one who is not soccer? he should have done something more in line with his character, like schuut it or just fucking throw it......... oh wait there are no characters in this ikuhara is a hack writer ha ha

then they... beat the previous zombie...... with no leak sequnce and no anything . . . . . ...... . . . . . . .. f

we put te flat storybook aesthetic on our stupid nonsensical shitty exposition dump flashback scene so that makes it deep and good c ebtsgcbv3qgckhtgbkscjbtwsdjyb78 t yr also who the fuck kasuki's father

[jennifertple]

For the shake of of revising CFA and found this =))))))))))

Types of Man You Can Date at LSE (as explained by asset classes):

1. The Government Bond: You're only dating him for security. He offers minimal returns and can't be bothered to take you on nice dates. You're not satisfied with the relationship, but stay in it nevertheless because it's better to be in one than to just put your money in the bank and miss out. He's either the type that plays video games during the day and goes to Saucy at night, or the type that studies Management, Geography, or Anthropology. No interest? More like negative interest.

2. The Corporate Bond: You dumped the Government Bond because he was shit, and you're finally fed up. You tried replace him immediately, but because you're also shit, you've only managed to catch the Corporate Bond. You don't know if you've picked the right one, and you're definitely not getting as much as you hoped.

3. The Stock Index: You can expect that the relationship will get better over time, despite the short-run fluctuations and occasional crashes. Offers decent returns but doesn't offer the potential, thrill, chase, and game. Basic and average - literally.

4. The Real Estate: Cyclical, moody, and somewhat difficult to manage. Timing is crucial and you have to always plan your conversations so you don't catch him when he's in a bad mood. Pipes and roof break once in a while, and he could be very high maintenance. You'll surely lose if you don't know how to work him. You see his potentials and try to repair the relationship, so despite all the shit your friends say about him, you know he's a good investment deep down...

4. The Mortgage-Backed Security: Bad rep, bad history with your friend(s), bad idea, bad bad bad. These are the skater boys you had a crush on in middle school, and after Facebook stalking him recently, you found out his life has gone under water. Is he even relevant anymore?

5. The Foreign Market: Dark skin, handsome, eight packs, and piercing gaze. You refer to him not even as a specific type of asset because you honestly have no idea what the fuck is going on and who he is, but wants him anyway because he's exotic and mysterious AF. So exotic you have no idea what he's saying half the time. Probably Columbian or Peruvian... or Uzbekistan-ian?

6. The Cryptocurrency: Where do I even begin...? He never texts you back, and when he does, it's 11 PM on a Thursday night (never Tuesday because he's hunting at Ministry, and never Wednesday because he's with his other laddy lads at Zoo). Drinks protein shakes and always at the gym. Everyone thinks he's so hot but he's totally overrated and will burst your bubble of hope. Highly volatile, unpredictable, and extremely risky, but you're still hoping he could give you the best night of your life. Drop him, girl - he has no real value to back it up.

7. The Venture Capital: AKA your one-night stand regrets. You were too drunk and made out with someone who looked 10 times hotter than the guy next morning. 98% chance he's shit, and you wish you never touched him.

8. The Option: Probably doing finance, private equity, law, or whatever you're into. Shares his notes with you and suggests to take you to Nando's before you even ask. Amazing guy with limited downside and unlimited upside. If you find this man, make sure to get him in long position A S A P.

8. Diversified Portfolio: As long as you're investing wisely and ethically, you go girl. Yolo.

[awwwwno]

How To Compile a Blacklist Without Sacrificing Yourself

Blacklisting can be an incredible act and frankly, it’s long overdue. Abusers thrive in the abyss of silence, and it’s only by going public can you protect your community and have any hope of change.

We’re having a watershed moment.

In light of this, I wanted to share my advice on how you can help others and at the same time minimize your personal risks! I’ve been there- I helped publicize a Blacklist that a fellow model created two years ago, and am still dealing with the legalities and financial burden that resulted.

-COLLECT EVIDENCE. You want first hand experiences, told directly to you. Hearsay is not your friend, and will work against your cause. Especially if you are compiling a list for others who are scared to come forward, get their experience in writing. Ask if they have any relevant screenshots of texts or emails. Make sure it’s digitally organized, make sure it’s safe.

-ALL ALLEGATIONS ARE ALLEGED ONES. I cannot stress this enough. If you are listing specific inappropriate/dangerous behaviors, make sure you say “alleged blahblahblah” or “allegedly blahblahblah” every. single. time.

-USE SIMPLE, PLAIN & HONEST PHRASING. You do not want to give an abuser or apologist any ammunition to destroy what you are doing. For example, don’t call someone a “pedophile” unless they fall under that dictionary definition. Make sure you are using the best & simplest words to explain what someone has done.

-BLOCK THEM ALL. Yep, just do it. On all social media.

-DON’T FEED THE TROLLS. People will defend these abusers. They will say you should have spread this information via “private channels.” Do not react with anger or defensiveness. Stay fucking calm. Explain what you are doing, but know when arguing with someone is a lost cause. Unfortunately, you have to be twice as levelheaded to get anywhere near as respected as those already in power.

What you’re doing is important, and it is protected speech. Please feel free to contact me if you need more help. <3

[infinitehouseofbooks]

YOUNG ADULT FRIDAYS - X.

Welcome to Shannon Muir’s Infinite House of Books!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to INFINITE HOUSE OF BOOKS by YA Bound Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

X. by Shelby Mena Genre: NA Contemporary Fiction Release Date: July 23rd 2017 Summary from Goodreads: nspired by actual events, X. follows the story of Tamra, a young actress, during the days following her feature film debut. The week kicks off with the arrival of her childhood best friends, Maddy and Amelia, who have flown in to help her celebrate the most important milestone of her life. Home friends. L.A. friends. Fun parties. Exclusive clubs. Hot boys. It should all add up to equal the most unforgettable time. But Tamra is haunted by a dark secret. Unbeknownst to her friends, she is being stalked, and pressured by greater forces to keep quiet. Our leading lady has convinced herself that she needs no one’s help battling the anxiety that has only recently developed within her. Everything is only further complicated when Lucas, the boy who has appointed himself protector and guide to Tamra during her time in Los Angeles, threatens to act against her wishes and reveal her truth. 

  Buy Links: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

  Prologue

Lucas sat overlooking the hills below, contemplating as he always did, his presence at yet another house party he knew deep down he profoundly detested. He recognized, however, the necessity in keeping up appearances, and cultivating a sense of relevancy within the young Hollywood scene. This was his penance for having taken a hiatus from acting for nearly three years, and just recently deciding to crawl back out from under his rock. 

He had arrived at the party with his main crew. The majority of his people had scattered, mingling with all their other sometimes friends and collaborators. Everyone would spend the night flitting around in the sleekly minimal main living room of a Beverly Hills mansion, taking Snapchats, posting Instagrams, letting their millions of followers know how fabulous their lives seemed to be.

Andre, Lucas’ model friend, and one of only two people he could implicitly trust, was sitting next to him on the outside balcony of the home. He was smoking a blunt that had been given to him by some rapper he had hung out with during a studio session the night before.

“What’s on your mind, Luke?”

“Like… why am I even here right now,” Lucas griped, compulsively popping his knuckles.

“I don’t know why you come to this shit, if it really stresses you out so badly,” Andre replied, bringing the weed up to his lips.

“You know why.”

“No, I really don’t. You left the game for three years, and the girls are still obsessed with your pretty-boy ass. Like, you’re fine…Here, take a hit,” he said, passing him the blunt. Lucas did so, thoughtlessly.

“Looks fade,” he quipped.

“Not necessarily.”

“Oh no?”

“Betty White is still hella cute.”

“That’s true,” he agreed, chuckling.

“C’mon Luke, you never bitch about coming out…What’s really wrong?”

He took a deep breath before answering. “Fuck… I think I’m depressed.”

“Of course you are. Everyone in this town is depressed.”

Lucas knew his friend meant not depressed, but unsatisfied. That was the best way to describe the inhabitants of Los Angeles. Unsatisfied people trying to become otherwise, making the most of it during the time in-between.

But this was not Lucas’ problem. He had remembered being at a family dinner one night, attempting to explain to his movie producer parents that he was unhappy, but not being able to come up with a valid enough excuse as to why. He was ten then. It was a decade and a half later, and he was just now beginning to realize that he didn’t know anything about himself or what he actually wanted.

Suddenly, Lucas’ thoughts shifted to the only other important person in his life. Tamra. He had spent nights on the phone with her, trying to work through his never-ending stream of discontent. Tamra did not share his troubles, and was in fact oppositely steadfast in her goals and opinions. It had worked out for her well. Her debut as a film actress was fast-approaching, with the imminent premiere of a film she had spent the year working on, just weeks away.

“Have you seen Tam?” he asked Andre.

“Not for the whole party. I don’t think Sellers is here either, so your guess is as good as mine.”

Lucas sat for several minutes, twiddling a piece of his curly hair in between his fingers. He knew it was unfair to seek out Tamra at a party where she could potentially be having a good time, only to burden her with his problems as he so often did. But Tamra settled him, and he was quickly advancing toward a level of concerning unsettlement. He decided to send a text to the group chat:

  Tamra, where ya at?

No reply. “I’ll be back,” Lucas said abruptly, leaving Andre to sit alone with only his high to keep him occupied.

He scanned the expansive room behind him. The party of a hundred or so people wasn’t nearly enough to fill the open space of the house, making it easy for Lucas to search for his friend. He looked left into the kitchen, then walked downstairs to the tv room, which he realized to be mostly empty except for a couple of guys, who were making out on a brown leather couch. Lucas even checked the wine cellar down the hall, but Tamra was nowhere to be found.

The weight of the high from the weed was beginning to sink from the top of his head, through his neck and down into his shoulders. He managed to find his way back to the main floor, where he collapsed in an empty loveseat. Lucas concluded that Tamra had probably left the party with someone else, for which he was too high to be adequately bothered about. He set an alarm on his phone for twenty minutes later, and placed it next to his ear, allowing his lids to close over his eyes, which had become too difficult to keep open.

In what seemed like ten seconds, his phone began beeping obnoxiously. The noise was so sudden that it frightened Lucas awake. Disoriented, he checked his screen to find a text:

Miles: Can we go home now?

A few more messages popped up, and the following conversation ensued:

Miles: Can we go home now ?? haha

Andre: Yeah, this party sucks

Miles: Me and Ezra are in the kitchen when you guys are ready haha

Lucas: k

Andre: Luke do you have Tamra?

Lucas: Couldn’t find her. She probably left w someone.

Andre: No, I tracked her on Friends. she’s still here.

Lucas: oh fuckk. I’m not smart enough when im high lol I’ll find her. 

Lucas looked around, surprised that he had missed Tamra during his first sweep of the house.  Then, his eyes rested upon a wide staircase that he had not previously noticed, leading up to a third floor. With great effort, he pushed himself off the couch, and quickly made his way upstairs. The top story was less open, comprised mostly of a long hallway of doors. He called out Tamra’s name. No answer. Lucas dialed her number, calling her phone, pushing himself into rooms, one by one. He strained to hear ringing, as music from the party downstairs reverberated through his eardrums. He was, however, able to pick up a faint sound at the end of the hall passed a small office.

Lucas rounded the corner and reached the door to a bedroom, that he gently pressed against. It was dark, but he could see the silhouette of a rectangle on the floor in front of the closet. Tamra’s phone. He sighed, figuring that she had dropped it while looking for a restroom in which to fix her makeup. Lucas nearly ignored the bathroom off to the side, but decided it would be best to splash some water on his face and revive himself.

He opened the door and flipped on the light. In the corner, in front of the toilet was a figure in an oversized denim jacket, lying in fetal position.

“Fuck,” Lucas whispered. He sighed, and then walked toward the person, pulling them onto their back. For a moment he was frozen, as he considered the improbable possibility that the high was messing with him. Then he became frantic.

“Tamra, TAMRA,” he whispered anxiously. She had blood dripping from her nose and mouth. Lucas propped her up and held her in his arms as he stroked the side of her neck, checking for her pulse.

He grabbed some water from the sink and sprinkled a bit on Tamra’s face. Her forehead crinkled in strain, but eventually her eyelids trembled open. She was weak, but managed one request as Lucas helped her to her feet.

“Don’t tell anyone,” she pleaded quietly. “Please, don’t tell anyone.”

  About the Author

Hi there… third person author bios seem impersonal, so I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to let you know I’m a 21 year old college student who was put on this earth to tell stories. I’m a major fan of  music, contemporary art, and realism. I love books, movies and my mom. I don’t think I’m anything special, but I think my stories are, or else I wouldn’t bother writing them down. My heroes include Kathryn Bigelow (the filmmaker) and Brett Easton Ellis. I write stories about millennials, for millennials. I am a feminist. I think the colored and the colorful are what make our world special, and I love that we have an opportunity to experience different cultures and different points of view. I really hope you enjoy my debut novel, and the works to come. Thanks for taking the time to learn more about me, and thanks for reading my stories. I really appreciate it. 

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YOUNG ADULT FRIDAYS – X. was originally published on the Wordpress version of SHANNON MUIR'S INFINITE HOUSE OF BOOKS.