#mini personal update... have started driving again for the first time in like 2 months

[ahaura]

hello hi love u all hope ur taking care <3

[arlertdarling]

100+ follower event ♡

EVENT CLOSED

thank you to everyone who has participated!

i’ll aim to complete the rest of your requests this month, but keep in mind that i’m starting/still figuring out my next steps in education, so i’ll probably be quite busy and there may be delays, in which case i will let you know.

your patience and understanding is really appreciated and thank you again to those who have supported me and/or sent in a request<3

i never thought i’d actually be doing one of these, but here i am, at 100+ followers!? i was honestly quite shocked when i reached 50, but to think there’s twice as many of you now? it literally blows my mind, so thank you! i know it’s not a huge milestone but it means a lot to me and to celebrate, i’ve decided to do this request event!

this is my first time doing something like this and i don’t want to overwhelm myself, so the event will close after 10 requests and they’ll just be drabbles/short oneshots (200-800 words) — though i may be open to doing more, if i get that many and feel up to it! i’m not sure how long they’ll take me, but i’ll post updates on my progress.

below you’ll find more info and some rules about the event, so please read everything if you are interested in participating<3

reblogs are appreciated!

rules

sfw only

1 character per request and up to 2 requests per person

i prefer writing gender neutral and (relatively) ambiguous readers, so please don’t ask for specific characteristics

please refer to my general writing rules for what themes/content i do and don’t write

i’d prefer if you were following me but that’s not a requirement

i may decline your request (e.g. if it makes me uncomfortable or doesn’t abide by my rules)

if you have any questions, send me an ask!

characters

armin arlert

eren jaeger

mikasa ackerman

levi ackerman

hange zoë

genres

fluff

angst

hurt/comfort

prompts

gentle

bouquet

dawn

balcony

stereo

rain

party

dessert

moon

warmth

gift

blanket

pearls

dream

drive

teacup

garden

photograph

movie

haircut

TAKEN REQUEST SLOTS 10/10

in your request, please include a character, a genre and a prompt, AU OR trope!

you can also specify if you’d like it to be platonic or romantic and set in canon or a modern AU. if not specified, i’ll choose romantic and the setting i think fits.

examples:

hi! could i have a platonic hurt/comfort drabble for levi with the prompt ‘blanket’?

for the event, i’d like a fluffy childhood friends to lovers drabble for armin in canonverse!

can i request an angst drabble set in modern AU for eren with the ‘rain’ prompt?

for your follower event, i’d like to request a fluff drabble set in a flower shop AU with florist!hange

at the end of the event, i’ll make a mini masterlist of all the completed requests. you will also be able to find them, and any other event posts/updates, under the tag #{♡} juno’s 100+ event !!

thank you again to everyone who has followed me, reblogged, commented on and supported my writing! i’m looking forward to your requests<3

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.12

a/n: so... this has a special guest in the middle >:) i hope ya’ll like this~ i was thinking of a good character to add and i found the perfect one. but the character will only stay for probs 3 chapters or so :D

warnings: this cannot be read solo, crossover

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 13

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito @meximorrita @awesomeee19​

“Sit down.”

Now, if that were coming from the person whose face you had just seen you would have obeyed like a puppy waiting for a treat. However, the person inside the room with you carried zero sex appeal. Not an ounce of it. The way he tried to sound sexy was just revolting.

“I’d rather just stand.” You shrugged. “Make this quick. I still have other places to go to.”

“Oh.” He patted the sofa once more before making his way to his desk. “I think you’d want to sit down once I tell you some news.”

With the chief’s back facing you, your eyes rolled and defeatedly went to flop on the sofa. Leaning on to the back lazily. When his chair creaked and sunk, you gestured for him to proceed.

“Regarding the Fukuo Kai case, the meeting will be held 5 days from now, correct?” Your brows furrowed as you fixed your posture. Eyes squinting as to where he had heard that information. He placed his elbows on his desk and tilted his head. A smug look on his face. “Tsukauchi will be taking your place in the stake out.”

“And why is that?”

“You will be attending a meeting with me. The HPSC wants to talk about the arson case.”

“You’re meddling with my cases again.” You snapped. “But, if it pleases you. Okay. However, it won’t be me informing Overhaul.”

Watching as the chief stood up from his desk, he nodded and walked towards you. Filling the emptiness the sofa had to offer.

“It has come to my attention that you two seem rather...close. Rather alarming is it not?”

“Teamwork among the both of us has been going well. Nothing more to it.” What was this germ up to? Your brain couldn’t figure out what his motives were. “I’m being as cautious as I can be. He has not lashed out nor attempted to hurt me in any way unlike the previous people we had to work with.”

“Yet, the mere mention of his name makes you lower your guard down by a significant amount.” Once again, he put his arm behind your neck and squeezed your shoulder. The scent of roses he once had was now replaced with sweat and leather. “You’ve slackened a bit, baby doll.”

Holding on to his wrist, you twisted it as you stood up. Bending it at a weird angle, your eyes bore holes on to his face. The playful fire in his lit up even more. It made you think, did the other women in the precinct go through this? Subtly activating your quirk, you raised his blood pressure.

“You know I’m getting real tired of your shit…” You threatened him. Hand shaking with anger.

Your head snapped to the door when a knock filled the walls. Letting go of his wrist, he rubbed it but the smug look on his face did not falter. Straightening himself and gaining composure once more, he went towards his desk and told the person to enter.

“Right on time. Ms. (L/N), for the next two days, you will be pairing up again with one of the officers from the Kyoto precinct.” His face followed the person who now entered the office. “Mr. Ackerman, we hope you enjoy your stay here.”

You bit your tongue. Internally activating your quirk, you managed to control the blood travelling to your cheeks. You’ve heard about Mr. Ackerman. A few of your previous cases had you teaming up with him. One thing led to another but it was one of your most well kept secrets. One that not even the chief caught scent of.

How many years had it been? Three or four? The scenery was still fresh in your mind. His words that stung and broke you for months. Still, he was a gentleman. Not wanting to diminish the cooperation you two had, differences were set aside and apologies were exchanged. It ended on a rather better note than you had anticipated.

Of course, there was no denying that the sight of Levi still managed to increase the steady pacing of your heart.

“Ackerman.” You greeted him. Eyes focused on the chief. A useless attempt to read him.

“(L/N).” His voice was still the same. Enticing yet dead at the same time.

“Why don’t you two catch up?” The chief gestured for the both of you to leave the office. Hearing both your responses, he watched as Levi motioned for you to leave first and followed behind. Just as you were about to exit, he spoke up. “And, by the way, update Overhaul’s profile. Put in his name.”

Your eyes widened and jaw tightened. Slowly exhaling, you continued walking. When you heard the door closing, you began to feel around your clothes for any sort of mini-chip that he had planted on you. Not feeling anything, your thoughts replayed to all the touching he had done.

“Fuck…”

“Oi, brat. What’s wrong?” Levi asked.

“He fucking bugged me. Eavesdropped on an off the record scenario a while back.” Anger was now boiling in your blood. Not for the chief but for the fact that you failed in detecting his subtle schemes. No wonder he was all touchy this morning. When your eyes met his, his eyebrows shot up and you could see how he put two and two together.

“It’s been three years, he’s still doing those things to you?” The both of you were now walking towards your cubicle. Back when you were dating, Levi could see just how devious the chief was towards you. He may have threatened him once or twice, the scene before him only fused a died out wick. “You could have just told me, you know.”

“I know.” He had told you time and time again that you should watch your back when it came to the man inside the office. Yet you always brushed it off. Basically, you were now reaping the consequences of being ignorant. “You know I hate causing scenes.”

“Tch. Not a single change from you.” There it was. That smirk that made you weak. Pulling your chair for you, he waited for you to sit till he dragged the empty seat next to yours. “What do you have on the arson case?”

Taking out a file, you handed it over to him and gave him the details so far. He simply did the typical Levi gestures. Nodding his head with the occasional comments.

“I’m honestly at a dead end, but Tsukauchi managed to pick up a straw.” You showed him your schedule. “I’ll be meeting up with Endeavor in 4 days. I can keep you updated if you'd like."

"It's fine. I can stay till after the meeting." Typical. Work was always first when it came to him.

"Where are you staying? You can crash the guest room if you'd like."

"You sure? Gei isn't visiting tonight?" That flamboyant man had always amused him but he'd never tell. He did, after all, get a few phrases from the man himself.

"Nope. You're free to crash. It will require you to buy food." You smiled and that sealed the deal. Agreeing, he stood up to take his things from the lockers as you readied to leave the office.

Moments had passed and both of you were now in your car. Levi offered to drive so you gave him the keys.

"You still into (favorite food)?” He asked. Eyes searching for what food to have for dinner. You were the host so your wants came first.

“Nah. Ov-I’ve had it this afternoon. We can go with whatever you want.” You knew where he was going. He would go to Solive Garden. He was always a sucker for their salad and made from scratch soup. Your thoughts were right when he turned on the next corner. The green sign now within sight. Lucky enough, he saw a vacant lot and parked the car.

Meanwhile, the car parked opposite from yours had a rather different aura going on.

“Mimic.” Overhaul threatened the small creature sitting in the backseat. “You had one job and that was to order food from Niller Union.”

“It wasn’t my fault, boss!” He chirped. “They cancelled at the last minute. I already told them that the leader of the yakuza was the one ordering but they just ended the call.”

Massaging his temples, he could feel the hives starting to form due to rage at the small mishap. Somehow, he had found himself in the car with Chrono behind the wheel and Mimic strapped like a child in the back. Perhaps he just needed a change of scenery since he had no interest in demolishing the whole base tonight. Or so he thought.

“Hey… Isn’t that?” Chrono thought out loud to get Overhaul’s attention.

You had just exited your car, with Levi opening the door for you. Seeing how you were all smiles with another male was something he had not expected. More so when the other male was none other than Levi Ackerman. His golden orbs followed as the two of you walked side by side, entering the establishment.

Chrono simply watched his boss through his peripheral view. What would he do in this instance? It was hidden well but he could see Kai slowly appearing from the depths of Overhaul.

“Mimic. Get out of your suit and buy the meal.”

“Aw, c’mon! Just cause your jealous of that lady with Ackerwacker doesn’t mean you get to use me to spy on them.”

Boy, did Chrono wish he had popcorn.

“You caused this mess. Now get the hell out of that suit before I kill you inside this very car. THRICE.”

Incoherent cursing soon followed. Mimic was sporting his true form. Veins popping from anger. Slamming the door, he stomped towards the store before flipping the vehicle off. Now that the two of them were alone, he waited till Overhaul seemingly calmed down.

“They’re probably just teaming up for a case.” Chrono stated. He was secretly living for the moment. It wasn’t too often he’d see the boss in that state. In his mind, he knew that Kai would ask him to trail you till you reach your building.

“Then why the hell is that troublemaker driving her car, Kurono?” His inner thoughts were thinking of scenarios as to why you would spend time with Ackerwacker. That smile you showcased was something he barely got from you. And then we have this shortstack who got it from you effortlessly. “Follow her till she gets home.”

There it was.

“Isn’t she too preoccupied to date?” Conversations were still possible as of the moment. “I thought you were slowly advancing already.”

“She never stated she was single or not.” Not that it mattered. He would do whatever it takes to make you his. No one had ever fallen asleep on the phone with him, spoke to him so freely, or even sent a rather inviting selfie at 11pm. Furrowing his brows at his thoughts, he cleared his throat and let out a sigh. “Forget it. She’s merely a pawn that I can easily replace. Go back to base after this.”

‘He’s back.’ Chrono thought. That was the end of the conversation. But, that small gesture was a sign that he was internally fighting his consciousness. ‘Shit. This is going to be a long night.’

The doors slid open once more. Ackerw-Levi and you were making your way back to your car. You were holding the take out while he held onto the drinks. The two men inside the car watched as the unwanted man stretched out his hand to grab the food from your arms. The car was hella tinted but he could see the small blush growing on your cheek.

Once more, Chrono wished he had some popcorn.

They observed as Levi opened your car door and handed you the food. His jaw tightened and fists clenched when he saw him entering the driver’s side. He was too engrossed that he had not noticed Mimic entering the car. Struggling in the backseat due to his size. When your car revved to life, all 3 men watched as the car left.

Starting the car, Chrono knew his boss’ mind flipped into Kai. Taking his time, he slowly drove out of the establishment.

“Follow them, Kurono.”

- - - -

so... did ya’ll like today’s special guest? xD I love Levi Ackerman so I decided to just use him for the sake of drama huehuehue still :) if ya’ll have comments or questions, feel free to ask :D take care!

[aijee]

is this a life update or a novel?

Hi all, long time no post! Nice to meet you new followers, and nice to talk to you again for those who’ve stuck around. Just as a reminder, my blog is as much of a fic blog as it is a journal for me to sort my thoughts.

In that vein, here’s a personal update. CW for mental health/anxiety, physical pain, big life changes. There’s lighter stuff at the end!

It’s been both a long and short summer for me, after deciding to quit work and focus on my mental health. I’m a millennial twenty-something whose mind, like many, is tragically crippled with the capitalistic and individualistic values America has brainwashed me with, so I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with being unemployed and depending on my parents. I’m extremely privileged and humbled to be in a family that still maintains income during unprecedented times. I’ve been trying not to let my internalized struggles turn into this self-imposed shame for partaking in pleasures (I remember second-thinking buying a digital comic book for hours). My parents often say, “We worked hard and struggled because we didn’t want our kids to do the same. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying yourself.” Nowadays, they add that I’ve worked hard during college and my post-college job; in their eyes, I’ve more than “earned” a break, especially after losing my graduation, summers, and trips.

I constantly wonder why I impose so many limitations of myself even more during a pandemic. While being aware of global struggle is important for not becoming out-of-touch, I need to remind myself that people don’t have to earn the right to play or be happy or enjoyment. Obvious lack of nuance aside, it’s crazy to think how much capitalism—largely the idea worth is contingent (work) productivity—has deformed my sense of what’s a basic human right versus what should be earned. I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I struggle with thinking in extremes; it’s either starvation or hedonism, and the latter earns far more societal vitriol. I think my Asian upbringing has made me hyperaware of what others could be thinking of me, regardless of how accurate those projections are. I’d fact, I rarely assumed positive opinions. Outside of external validation, I realized how poor my self-image really was. Tearing myself down before anyone else could rarely, if ever, softened the blow.

For the first time, I’ve begun to think that my life is my own and no one else’s. It sounds logical on paper, but so much harder in practice in real life, I’ve realized. This isn’t a constant or ingrained thought yet, often peaking in between longer and more familiar strings of anxiety. But it feels like an important realization during a time full of sadness and uncertainty, let alone in my lifetime at all.

And then I injured my spine.

It happened towards the end of the summer, when I was starting to feel more put-together internally. I felt so creatively productive (in avenues I don’t care to share online) and even closer to family. I had a ball revisiting old shows. I ate food I hadn’t eaten in years. And this was suddenly interrupted when, while showering, I was wracked with unimaginable, nonstop pain. I nearly passed out alone in the shower and barely managed to crawl to my bedside to call my parents; I was lucky they came home early. I couldn’t stop crying for almost twelve hours. I was terrified at the possibility that I may be paralyzed or my legs would be affected. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but I was bedridden and wracked with nausea. I could barely stomach anything, not even water. I couldn’t sleep. I was never brought to a hospital, either on the fear of COVID transmission. The whole time, it was so, so debilitating on a physical and mental front. My head was a nightmare.

Like a bad habit, some of my worst thoughts centered around productivity. I worried about the work I couldn’t do. I felt shameful about canceling plans with friends. I hated being helpless and not being able to take care of myself, and felt guilty for wasting other people’s time taking care of me. And yet, if I was someone else, even a stranger let alone a friend/loved one, I’d be scratching my head over why that person would think these things. Fuck work and other life plans, getting better is the most important thing because you can’t do any of those compromised activities if you’re not at capacity! Duh. Anxiety can really a number on you sometimes and it’s awful just how irrationality fuels the spiral.

I’m grateful to be back on my feet. I’m trying to hold on tightly to that victory, to this positive point that I have worked towards. It’s going to be a challenge to do my recovery exercises daily for my 2-3 month recovery period when I barely remember to floss. Moreover, I’ll be in the middle of moving and working full-time again in the next month, alongside the ridiculous anxiety over some applications and maybe interviews for a different part of my life. But I’m doing my best to take each day at a time and celebrate the good things when they come, however small. I don’t have to ace a final exam or burn my retinas studying for them to deserve victories because, hey, again, happiness is a right and I need to stop gatekeeping myself from it.

Frankly, the injury is largely why I haven’t posted sooner. I don’t think anyone should ever feel obligated to use social media when they aren't up to it. But I actually wanted to ease back into writing before I was injured, starting with this blog.

Some other positive things:

God, I missed the Avatar (Aang and Korra) series so much. What a damn good franchise, what a damn good magic system and world. IT’S. SO. GOOD, GOD. Revisiting it all and reading the comics while I was sick was the single biggest joy that kept me going. I hope the magic lingers for as long as possible.

Even in my inactivity, I’ve received some really lovely comments on my AO3. I read the emails primarily. It really warms my hear to see them. I revisited old comments recently, too, and they’ve helped keep me going and reminded me that I am capable of putting joy into the world.

I’ve taken a liking to Youtube playlist-videos and Spotify playlists that encompass a very specific story scenario, like “dancing with the villain in a masquerade ball” or “driving around the French countryside”, etc. Japanese 80′s urban pop is SO GOOD.

Smosh has been putting out such great content y’all. I was BIG on old Youtube (Nigahiga, Smosh, Michelle Phan, Jenna Marbles, etc.) and it warms my heart to see their renaissance. Amazingly entertaining and down-to-earth content. I don’t fall squarely into their demographic anymore, but the periphery is still fun.

Food is great. I love food still. I’ve eaten a lot of good food during this break. It almost pains me to go back to living by myself and eating healthier. :’(

I didn’t realize how expensive moving was. But, after living in the same apartment from sophomore uni to post-uni work, I’m moving into a bigger “adult” apartment with appropriately sized appliances instead of the mini student kind. The possibility of treating myself to a king-sized mattress and decorations is also very exciting.

It warms my heart to see people in my vague social circles indulging in home art projects, like paint by numbers and “diamond” painting. As a kid I thought “not real art” was a waste, but by god as an adult do I not give a shit about what “real art” is anymore. If it’s fun, it’s fun. That’s that!

That’s all I can think about for now.

[rkiverse]

growing pains, 2.

part one | part two | part three

Summary | Puberty wasn’t really your best friend until she introduced herself to you when you hit your early twenties. However, you wish puberty had befriended your seventeen-year-old self and gave you a huge makeover so that you could impress your long-time crush slash high-school quarterback, Jeon Jungkook. On a journey of finding confidence and self-love, you befriended fate, who had somehow drawn you back to nostalgia; to Jeon Jungkook.

Word Count | 10,044 words (that’s a long ass ride) also pls don’t read this on mobile it might crash!

Genre | lots and lots of fluff and a pinch of angst + quarterback!jungkook and basketballplayer!oc. this starts off with highschool!au but it’s mostly college!au, trust me. also i feel like this is sort of sliceoflife!au and a hint of coming of age.

author’s note: it’s been about a year since i’ve posted the first part. i know, it took me a year to get this up and after months of just putting it off and telling you that it’ll be up (and it doesn’t actually end up happening) here it is. she’s here in full form. but on a serious note, i know that putting this off was just a horrible thing to do to you guys and i know that i don’t owe you an explanation because you didn’t deserve having this being on hold for so long (for a year yikes). but here she is and i’m going to pull through and finish this! so i hope you enjoy this.

second year of university

Your first year of university was quite eventful. You had made a couple of friends in your biochemistry program and on your women’s basketball team. However, you had also become friends with puberty, and you had concluded that you were one of the late bloomers. You didn’t complain, though.

Even though your acne had cleared after updating your skincare routine, and even though your hair was finally tangle-free, you wish puberty never befriended you. Why? Because after your first year of university, you realized that out of all the insecurities you had felt during high school, it had only taught you a lesson to love your true self.

The woman that stares at herself in the mirror today, used to be a woman who dreaded how she looked in the past. She was a woman who tried to live up to society’s expectations, to look and act a certain way, even though it was against how she looked and acted.

It was just a matter of loving yourself. Behind those flaws and behind those traits that people label you with, was a woman who was slowly learning to love herself.

And although you were in a different country fulfilling your scholarship, it only took one heartbeat for you to transfer back to South Korea. Yes, you loved your university and the friends you had created bonds with, but you knew that going back to a place and to people who you call home, is the final road to your happiness and self-love. You had to make peace with your past.

And on top of that, if you were to be quite honest, you preferred the biochemistry program in South Korea better. But you weren’t going to let that defeat the whole main purpose of project self-love and happiness.

“Hello?” You grab your luggage from the luggage pick-up station with one hand and holding your phone against your ear with the other. “Where are you?”

“We’re at the pick-up station, your parents are outside at the pick-up lane.” Hoseok says on the other line, and you notice that his voice had gotten much lower.

You can hear Eunbi saying things in the background of the phone call, but you chuckle when you hear Hoseok hush her.

“I’m coming down the escalator!” You say.

As you head down the escalator with your things, you start searching for two familiar people and you spot them just a few metres away. They have their backs facing towards you, looking at the escalator on the other side of the waiting terminal. You giggle.

“You are? I don’t see you. Where are you?” Hoseok questions.

You hang up and slowly make your way towards them. You can already hear Hoseok yell into the phone before pulling it away from his ear to realize that you had already hung up. Before he dials your number again, you attack them from behind. Hoseok lets out a loud yelp and Eunbi squeaks softly.

As they both turn around, Eunbi stares at you with widened eyes and drops her mini umbrella. It clatters to the floor and you bend down to pick it up. Hoseok somehow chokes on air, and when he finally catches his breath, he starts poking your arm.

“Is there a reason for you to be poking my arm?” You ask teasingly.

“Y/N, is that you?”

“Actually, this is her imposter.” You reply.

“Yah, it’s Y/N, you idiot!” Eunbi exclaims, pushing Hoseok aside and crashing you into a hug.

As the three of you reunite after two years of separation, you decide to celebrate this reunion by crashing Eunbi’s dorm with nothing but burgers, fries, and a laptop to watch movies. After a couple of hours binge watching romcoms, you and Eunbi decide to catch up on each other’s lives while Hoseok had already fallen into a deep slumber on her small bed.

“Have you met someone there?” She grins, popping a chip into her mouth.

You scrunch your nose, shaking your head. “I mean, everyone is beautiful. Everyone is attractive. But I didn’t actually date anyone.”

“So, you’re single?” You nod your head. “And ready to mingle?”

“No!” You exclaim, and she hushes you. From the corner of your eye, you could see Hoseok squirm in his sleep to change into a fetal position. You lean in and harshly whisper at her. “No! I’m not ready, and I’m not going to let you or Hoseok drag me into blind dates.”

“That sucks,” she sighs.

“Why?”

“Because I know a really good candidate.” She teases.

You grab a handful of popcorn and throw it at her. She lets out a soft giggle.

“You’re funny.”

Grabbing your keys and phone from the counter top, you stretch out your arms a final time before heading out. There’s a new school year ahead of you, but you were more than ready to tackle it. Parked in your driveway is Hoseok, along with Eunbi in the backseat.

A ton of things have happened when you had studied abroad for two years. Hoseok was pursuing a kinesiology degree and played for the university’s co-ed basketball team. He proclaims he is still single, but he is open to spice his life up by having an additional person to enjoy his moments with. As for Eunbi, she was pursuing a major in English Literature, and in her Creative Arts class, she had gotten closer to her classmate who was surprisingly Kim Taehyung. Hoseok would always whine about how the two had strong feelings for each other but were too much of a fool to confess. But whenever you would try to encourage Eunbi to confess her feelings to him, she would always tell you that her status with him was a bit complicated.

As for you? You were still the same person. You had just matured. You bloomed in the middle of first year university after becoming friends with puberty. A late bloomer, was what your mother had told you after Skyping with her for two hours on a Sunday evening. But after listening to your friends talk about their love lives and relationships, you were hoping that someday and somehow, fate would befriend you next.

“Get in the car, I have basketball practice in half an hour.” Hoseok urges.

“Geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

As you hop into the car, Hoseok begins to drive through the neighbourhood. You smile to yourself. The neighbourhoods looked so foreign, yet so familiar because of the memories you have engraved in your mind. From playing basketball on your driveway to sipping lemonade with your best friends on the curb, you knew that coming back was the right thing to do.

“Hey, Y/N, you never really told us why you decided to come back.”

You snap out of your gaze. Hoseok is looking at you through his rear-view mirror, waiting for an answer. Simply shrugging your shoulders, you flash him a small smile.

“I just need to make peace with the past. My past.”

After what seems like ages of driving to campus, you arrive promptly before Hoseok’s basketball practice. The campus field was filled with several sports teams doing their usual morning practices. To the left of the campus field, the track team were doing their stretching routine before hitting the race track for laps. Towards the middle of the field were the basketball players, practicing their shots and passes. Lastly, to the right of the campus field were the football players, practicing their throws.

“Tell me why I decided to attend Hoseok’s practices every other morning again?” Eunbi groans, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

From afar, the both of you could hear Eunbi’s name being called. You glance at a familiar guy, jogging towards the two of you. Kim Taehyung. As he got closer and closer, he looked at you intently until his eyes slightly widened with familiarity.

“Oh, right, it’s because I get to watch Taehyung practice too,” Eunbi says sheepishly, and it’s almost as if she was wide awake at the sight of him.

Once Taehyung approaches the two of you, he nods his head at Eunbi and sends her a flirty wink. Eunbi playfully punches his arm a bit too hard that he ends up letting out a loud yelp of pain. Taehyung looks at you and smiles.

“Hello, stranger.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

You salute him. “Hello, stranger.”

“You look so different, I almost didn’t recognize you.” He chuckles. “I see you’ve ditched the dad hat.”

“Well, not—”

“I hope you didn’t ditch basketball, though.”

“Now that, I didn’t.” You reassure him, and he grins.

Taehyung fist bumps you and nods his head. “Welcome back, Y/N.”

Before the three of you engage further in your conversation, the football coach is yelling at Taehyung to get back on the field. He apologizes for leaving so soon and pecks Eunbi’s cheek before running back to the field. Eunbi looks like she’s floating on Cloud 9.

“A bit complicated, huh?” You tease, nudging her side.

“Let’s just go watch them play, yeah?” Eunbi insists, still in a daze.

The both of you walk down the sidelines of the field, hand-in-hand, and you reach the football field moments later. As the both of you walk a few seats up the bleachers, you take a seat close enough to get a good view of the football players.

From a few metres away, you could see Taehyung walking over to a familiar guy whose face is covered by a helmet. As Taehyung starts talking to him, he pulls off his helmet and you feel your mouth slightly fall open in shock. Jungkook shakes his head and a few droplets of sweat drip off the ends of his hair, leaning in closer to hear Taehyung speak.

“Is that—”

“Yes, it is, Y/N.” Eunbi cuts you off, almost as if she’s read your mind.

You quickly look away, trying to occupy your attention with your phone. Although playing a quick game of 2048 or sending a random good morning text to your sister who could care less was your way of occupying your attention, it had only made you look a bit more obvious of the fact that you were just trying to avoid someone or something in a certain situation.

“Make peace with your past.” You whisper to yourself and Eunbi questioningly raises an eyebrow at you.

Courageously, you look up from your phone and shove it into the pocket of your sweater. The coach blows his whistle and the players are tackling each other. You can’t seem to tell who was who, unless you looked at names on the back of their jerseys. However, you tilt your head in confusion at the sight of one particular player who was just standing there. The player was looking around the field as if they were looking for someone or something. You squinted your eyes to read his jersey, and you feel yourself choke on air. He finally spots you, and he just… stands there, looking at you.

“Jungkook-ah, pay attention!”

But before he could even snap out of it, a football is hitting him straight in the face. Thankfully, the helmet prevents the football from hitting his actual face. He’s flying to the damp grass and lands on his back with a thud. The coach blows his whistle and everyone runs over towards him.

Out of instinct, you stand up and make your way down the field. It seems like you’ve drowned out Eunbi’s scolding voice, telling you to come back and just let the coach do his job, but you couldn’t help it. As an athlete, you learned to look after your teammates and even your opponents. 

As you reach the crowd of players, you squeeze your way to see Jungkook lying on the grass in astonishment. You bend down onto your knees and look at him to see if he was alright. Through his helmet, you could see his eyes staring right back at you. He lets out a soft breathy laugh and his teammates and coach sigh with relief.

“Are you okay—” His coach asks for the nth time, only to be cut off by a loud yell.

You feel yourself being pushed to the side, and somehow, you’re kneeling next to another familiar person. She’s pulling off Jungkook’s helmet and looking at him with nothing but worry.

“Babe, are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? I literally just left to get us some coffee and I come back—”

“I’m okay, Mina.” Jungkook cuts her off.

It took you a couple of minutes to decipher the words that were coming out of their mouths. They were a couple. They were in a relationship. Jungkook was dating Mina. You snap out of your thoughts, slowly getting up from your knees. As you brush off the grass from your jeans, you realize that Mina doesn’t seem to remember who you were for she just stares at you with curiosity.

“Y/N-ah!” You look over your shoulder to see Hoseok jogging towards you with a basketball under his arm.

“Y/N?” You hear Mina say softly.

Looking at the football players and the coach, you bow your head and excuse yourself to meet Hoseok halfway.

“What’s up?”

“Coach wants to see this best friend of mine that I keep bragging about on the court.” Hoseok chuckles, tossing the basketball to you. “One on one, shall we? You versus me.”

Before the both of you could head towards the basketball court, you hear your name being called. You turn around to see Jungkook back on his feet. He nods his head at you, but never does he flash you a smile. Standing there questioningly, you hear him barely utter a word.

“Y/N, let’s go?” You’re the first to break the stare and you turn around to catch up to Hoseok who’s already a few metres ahead of you.

Hoseok throws his arm around your shoulder and you let out a loud sigh of relief. He erupts into fits of giggles before reaching out to your face to pinch your cheek. You slap his hand away and groan.

“I thought I was going to die back there,” you whisper to yourself.

“Oh, trust me, get used to it. Now that you’re back, you’ll be seeing more of him again.”

Suddenly, you stop in your tracks. Hoseok looks at you questioningly.

“Are Mina and Jungkook… dating, perhaps?” You ask softly and curiously.

Hoseok stares at you for a moment before bursting out into laughter. While he ruffles your hair, you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“It would be a miracle for Mina if she was dating Jungkook.”

“But back there… she called him babe and she even got him coffee—”

“Y/N, Jungkook never dated anyone since we graduated high school.”

When he saw you again after two years, the air was knocked out of his lungs… literally. He was sent flying to the damp grass after taking a football to the face. He wasn’t sure if what he had seen was a dream, but after blinking once, twice, and even pinching himself a couple of times, his answers were given the moment you came into his vision.

“You’re so whipped for her,” Taehyung mumbles after throwing a pillow to his face.

“Hey! I’ve already taken a football to the face; don’t you think a pillow is a bit overboard now?”

“Someone’s salty today.”

From his periphery, he sees Taehyung turn around on his chair to resume his task of completing his essay. Amid the sounds of typing and backspacing, Jungkook finds himself falling into another deep trance. On the ceiling of their shared dorm room were stars that he had stuck with clear tape. He smiles to himself.

“Stars… really?” Taehyung questions the latter who’s in the middle of cutting up tape to stick more stars onto the ceiling. “You know you could just go outside on the campus lawn and watch the stars from there, right?”

Jungkook completely ignores him, sticking the last star onto the ceiling. He smiles to himself.

“Do you think Y/N sees the same stars as I do?”

“Of course, Jungkook, we all live under the same sky.” Taehyung shrugs his shoulders.

“You really think so?” Taehyung diverts his gaze from the ceiling to his best buddy who’s too busy smiling like a little boy who got his candy.

Taehyung shakes his head to himself with a grin spread across his lips.

He takes another pillow to his face. He groans, sending a death glare to Taehyung.

“You’ve been staring at that stupid ceiling for half an hour now. If you want to go star-gazing with her, just go! What’s holding you back?”

Jungkook frowns. He gets up from his bed and grabs his phone from the bedside table. Taehyung watches his friend make his way to the door.

“Tell her I said hi—” Taehyung’s cut off mid-sentence by the slam of a door. “Or not.”

Jungkook pulls out his earphones and begins to play his music. As he heads out of the dormitory for a late-night campus walk, he notices that the lights of the basketball court were still lit up. His curiosity gets the best of him and he finds himself walking towards the court.

“Yah! Hoseok! You’re travelling!” His ears perk up at the familiar voice.

As he gets closer and closer to the court, he sees you playing one on one with Hoseok. You dribble the ball in between your legs, while Hoseok is trying to block you from side to side. Flashing a grin, you fake a left and go to the right. Hoseok is chasing you towards the net but he’s too late when you accelerate and jump up to do a slam dunk. Holding your grip on the rim for a few more seconds, you finally let go and effortlessly fall back onto your feet.

“Studying abroad really made you better,” Hoseok says out of breath. “I can’t even keep up with your pace. But when I do get the ball, you’re already snatching it away from me.”

You smile. “It’s just practice.”

“And obviously skill. I’m surprised you’re this good after only two years.”

You laugh, turning around to head to the bench where your practice bag was. It was getting late, the sky was no longer bright and the Moon had taken over for the night. As you open up your bag, you pull out your bottle of water and chug down what you had left. Glancing up at the stars, you smile.

“Hey, Hoseok, the stars look beautiful tonight—” As your eyes look away from the beautiful night sky, your eyes meet a pair of familiar ones. 

Jungkook was standing a few metres away. Your voice slowly trails off into a soft whisper, and you can’t help but stare at him. But as you’re about to wave at him—

“Jeon Jungkook, nice seeing you here.”

Hoseok throws his arm over your shoulder. Jungkook shoves his hands into his pockets and flashes a small smile. “Hey, I was just going out for a… late-night stroll.”

There was something about him that you admired. His demeanor. He was the same shy guy, hesitant with his actions and awkward with his conversations. He was always looking at others with his curious, doe eyes. But he had matured, his facial features more prominent than the last time you saw them. He had gotten much taller, in fact, much more taller than you.

His eyes meet yours. He flashes a wider smile. “Hi Y/N. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too,” you mumble softly, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“We should hang out sometime before you go back to America.” He insists. “It’d be a shame if we parted ways again.”

Hoseok laughs.

“I think you’re getting something wrong here, Jungkook. Y/N is staying here for good.”

“You’re not Eunbi.”

You’ve come face to face with a girl much shorter than you. Her eyes are wide, and she looks up at you through the eye holes of her face mask. Biting your lip to contain your laughter, she tries to utter a few simple words so that her face mask wouldn’t fall off her face.

“I’m a close friend of Eunbi’s. She knows that I’m coming over, but I didn’t know I’d be arrive here first.” You explain and she nods her head. “May I come in?”

She nods her head vigorously and almost crashes into the closet door while making room for you to come in. As you hesitantly walk into the dorm, you could see her roommate run into the washroom and slam the door shut. Surprisingly, you let out a huff of breath that you had no idea you’d been holding the entire time. When you sit down on their small couch, you watch her roommate slowly come out of the washroom and hesitantly approach you.

“Are you… Y/N?” She asks, putting on her glasses.

You nod your head. “Yes?”

“Eunbi is right.” She says, quickly taking a seat next to you. “You’re much prettier in person, and your skin… what’s your skincare routine? Your skin is so clear and soft and—”

“Uh—I don’t think I got your name,” you cut her off and she clamps her mouth shut.

“I’m—my name is Inha.” She smiles.

“Nice to meet you, Inha.”

“And I am very much honoured to meet you, Y/N.” She squeals. You smile awkwardly, and her laughter dies down. “Are the rumours true?”

“What rumours?”

“You don’t know what everyone is saying about you?” She gasps. “I mean, they’re all really nice stuff, so don’t worry.”

“Nice stuff? I’m so lost—”

“Is it true that you and Jungkook are dating?” She whispers, as if there were people next door pressing their ears against the walls to eavesdrop. “Is it true that you guys had a fling or something two summers ago?”

You laugh. “Where are you getting this information?”

“People are talking about how you and Jungkook know each other,” she explains, “but trust me, they’re all good stuff! In fact, I personally think the two of you should date… you suit each other.”

“I—what—”

“Yah, yah, yah, that’s enough, Inha.” The two of you glance at Eunbi who’s just arrived with a pizza tray and a bag filled with drinks.

“S-Sorry.” Inha mumbles softly.

The three of you head over towards the small dining table set up in the tiny kitchen. Eunbi was never really close to her parents, simply because she didn’t pursue their dreams. Because she decided to pursue her dreams, they had decided to kick her out. And thus, she now lives in a shared dorm with Inha.

As the three of you are huddled around the pizza tray with pizza slices in your hands, Eunbi stares at Inha suspiciously. After two years of living together, you’d think that they’d be the best of friends. Hell, they’ve been paired up to be roommates by the Faculty because their personalities suit each other. But you had never expected this to be the turn out.

Eunbi takes a swig of her soft drink and clears her throat. “For the record, I think you and Jungkook suit each other too.”

You’re close to choking on your pizza. Inha’s too busy trying to finish what she’s chewing and by the time she swallows her food, she bursts out into exclamations of joy. “Finally, we have something to agree on!”

“Have you seen how Jungkook stared at you yesterday? He looked like a deer in the headlights.”

“Are you serious?” Inha whispers loudly.

“I think you guys are just overthinking and overseeing it.” You roll your eyes.

“Come on, I’m sure that crush of yours on Jungkook is still thriving within you—”

“No, it isn’t—” You argue back at Eunbi who has a playful smirk spread across her lips. As you slowly get up to avoid the conversation, you’re immediately pulled back to your chair by Inha.

Inha glances at you bewilderedly. “You had a crush on Jungkook?!”

“Yah, Inha.” Eunbi nods her head at her. “Whatever is said in this dorm, stays in the dorm. If I ever hear that you started spreading all of this to the whole campus, you’re sleeping out in the hallway for the rest of the year. Got it?”

You sigh frustratingly. “This is not going to end well.”

“Oh, it sure will.”

“Agh,” you suddenly groan, clutching your stomach. “Where did you get that pizza?”

Eunbi frowns. She stares at you for a few seconds while Inha is too busy trying to finish the pizza in her hand to grab the last one in the tray. You glance at her for a split second before blurting out another groan.

“I got it from the pizza shop across the road. What’s wrong?”

“I—wow, it’s not making me feel too good—I should... I should go.” You groan, bending over and smiling to yourself when you notice that the both of them are buying your act. “I’ll see you guys later, yeah?”

“Wait—Y/N!”

“See ya!”

You leave her dorm and slam the door shut. Letting out a soft sigh, you run a hand through your hair. From inside her dorm, you could hear Eunbi taking a few footsteps to the door and you don’t hesitate to make a run for the elevator. Luckily, before she could catch you, you’re already hopping onto the elevator. You’re out of breath, but you don’t notice the person standing on the other side of the elevator.

He clears his throat. “Y-Y/N?”

You shoot up, wide-eyed and startled to see Jungkook looking at you with the same expression. He’s the first one to flash you a small smile before you come back to your senses. Snapping out of your gaze, you play it off by returning a soft grin.

“Hey, Jungkook, didn’t see you there.” You chuckle, pressing the button leading to the ground floor. “What brings you here on this elevator on a late evening?”

“I was planning on going for a run around the track before hitting the books,” he shrugs his shoulders. You notice how he’s flat out avoiding eye-contact. “I can’t seem to focus. You?”

You shove your hands into your pockets. “I’m currently caught up on my readings, I just finished hanging out with Eunbi and her roommate, so I think I’ll head home.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. You take his silence as a sign to just shut up. Instead, you settle on fiddling with the ends of your sleeves, until you hear him clear his throat.

“Uh—would you like to—uh, would you like to go for a jog, or something? I can walk you home uh—right after since it’s getting late.” He stammers, and when you looked away from him, he can’t help but wince at how ridiculous he sounded.

You nod your head. “Sure, I have nothing better to do anyways.”

“R-Really?” He stutters. He didn’t expect you to say yes.

You laugh, and he feels his heart flutter at the beautiful sound. “Really.”

The elevator erupts a soft ‘ding!’ and the doors open to the ground floor. The both of you exit the building, walking side by side. You could sense that Jungkook was sort of awkward around you, for he had left a small distance between the two of you. He was quite timid and soft-spoken, and he was very hesitant with his words. But you didn’t mind at all, because you felt awkward around him too. There was something keeping you from starting a conversation, and you weren’t sure if it was the unsteadiness of your heart, or because you were just flat out shy too.

“You know, you’re literally being talked about all over campus.” He finally breaks the silence. You raise an eyebrow at him and he starts to internally panic. “I mean—not that it’s a bad thing—the things I’ve heard have been nice things.”

“Eunbi and her roommate were literally just talking to me about it.” You say softly. “I’m just worried that those things that they say and spread about me could suddenly transform into horrible things.”

He frowns. “If that happens, then they should be scared of what’s about to come at them.”

“What do you mean?” You question confusedly.

“I’ll give them a piece of my mind,” he shrugs his shoulders.

You gaze up at him, a smile beginning to spread across your lips. “T-Thanks, Jungkook.”

“Don’t worry, I got you.” He says reassuringly.

“Hey, I’m not the only one that’s being talked about all over campus.” You purse your lips into a tight line. “You too, Jungkook.”

“Me?” You hum in reply.

“You and Mina, specifically. I had no idea you guys had a thing going on,” you fake a grin.

He stares at you for a couple of seconds before bursting out into laughter. You glance at him, eyebrows raised, surprised at how he’s laughing so hard. He was literally quiet two seconds ago, and here he was, clenching his stomach and throwing a laughing fit right in front of you.

“Mina and I,” he says in between laughs, “we’re not together. We could never be together. I don’t see her that way… she’s not even my type.”

“Oh?”

“Disappointed?” He asks and you quickly shake your head.

“No!” You blurt out only to feel your cheeks fluster. “Uh—I mean—you guys look good together—so when people talked about the two of you being together, I sort of… believed it. But only because it seemed real!”

Jungkook was afraid that you could hear how loud his heart was beating. Your cheeks were flushed a light shade of red out of embarrassment, and he couldn’t help but stare at you a bit longer than he should. When he notices that you awkwardly look away from him, he snaps out of his trance.

“So, you’re not disappointed?” He teases. He’s surprised at his current behaviour. What is he saying? Where are these words coming from? Since when did he get so flirty?

“I—uh—” You stammer.

He chuckles, reaching out to ruffle your hair. “Good. I wasn’t interested in her anyways. I’ve been waiting for someone else.”

You find yourself looking at how bright his smile was. There was a certain charm that Jungkook had, and back in the day, you had fallen victim to it. But you’re not surprised that even now, you’re still a victim of his charms. There was something about him that you couldn’t move on from, and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Y/N?”

You snap out of your thoughts to see Jungkook already standing a metre away from you. He’s jogging on the spot, looking at you questioningly. “Are you not going to jog with me?”

“Oh—right!” You exclaim, jogging up to him.

Jungkook falls back onto his bed in a daze. Taehyung tears his gaze away from his laptop, turning around to glance at him. Jungkook’s staring up at the stars plastered on his ceiling, and Taehyung can’t help but smile at how stupidly in love he looked.

As he turns back around to finish his essay, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text.

to: eunbi (10:23 PM) he’s so whipped for her. [img_1092]

As you run to your lecture room with a banana in one hand and a water bottle in the other, your eyes scan the room numbers to spot for yours. Just as you spot your room, you bump into a figure causing your banana and water bottle to fall to the floor. As you bend down to pick up your things, you bump your heads with the stranger.

“Oh! Sorry—” You exclaim, and it’s almost as if you had gobbled up your words. Looking right at you is a very… handsome guy. He laughs softly, rubbing at his forehead before getting back onto his feet. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. Are you okay, though?” He questions.

“Ah, yeah, I’m okay. How about you?” You ask, completely embarrassed. He nods and flashes you a reassuring smile. “Sorry, I have to get going, I’m late for class.”

He watches you as you give him one small smile before heading to the same lecture room he’s in. He tilts his head to the side in confusion, he has never seen you before. But something urges him to catch up to you, and he does.

“Oh—wait!” He says a bit too loudly. It catches your attention, and you stop abruptly with your hand on the doorknob. You turn over your shoulder with an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Y-Yes?” You mumble.

“I’m in this class too! Biochemistry, right?” He smiles. You slowly nod your head. “I think we got off on the wrong foot, but let’s be friends, shall we? I’m Joohyuk.”

You blink, thoughts completely blank. Who did this guy think he was? You bow at him and give him one of your timid smiles. “I’m Y/N. It’s my first day in this class and I’m already running late, but it’s okay. Shall we head to class together?”

He nods his head in reply. As the both of you head into the class, the professor flashes you a harsh gaze before continuing his lecture. You’re scurrying to an empty seat that you spot near the middle of the lecture room. At the same time, you could hear Joohyuk following behind you. Just as you reach your seat, coincidentally, the seat next to yours was empty. Slowly turning around to find Joohyuk, you raise your eyebrows in surprise, for he was right behind you, heading for the seat next to yours.

“It’s a coincidence these two seats are empty, don’t you think?” He questions, and you let out a soft chuckle.

Your soft laugh dies down, however, when everyone around you seems to take note of your presence. Everyone’s whispering to each other, and you can’t help but feel yourself sink into your seat. Your gaze looks down your row of seats, and you could only confirm that everyone’s talking about you by the fact that they’re taking a quick glance at you before continuing to whisper to the person next to them.

Your heartbeat starts to quicken. Your breath is caught in your throat. This feeling of insecurity, vulnerability, and self-doubt had been absent since you studied abroad. However, you had never thought these feelings would come back. You hate attention, whether it was good or bad, because you didn’t want people talking about you. But you can’t stop people from doing it, and neither could you stop yourself from feeling insecure about the idea of them saying bad things about you behind your back.

Joohyuk, on the other hand, seems to notice how you’ve grown tense from the atmosphere. He notices how people are whispering to others, how they glance at you, and it leaves him curious. But he feels as if he’s somehow become part of the reason as to why people are looking at you, whispering about you. He notices that your breathing quickens, and he grows a bit nervous and anxious.

You’re too focused on calming down your breathing. You’re too absorbed by the sounds of whispers. You’re tapping your feet against the floor, hoping that it would help you focus on the lecture. But your breathing starts to quicken, and you’re afraid that—

“Hey, are you okay?” You feel a warm hand being placed on top of yours, and to your surprise, you calm down. Joohyuk glances at you with concern. “Do you need water?”

You let out a soft sigh, your body relaxing. “I’m okay, just anxious. Thanks.”

He flashes you a reassuring smile before fixing his gaze on the screen. A small smile starts creeping up on your face. Somehow, all of your worries fade away. Your growing anxiety and your growing pains scurry away.

And the warmth of his hand never seems to go away.

Class ends on the dot, and you’re already scurrying to get out of the lecture hall. Everyone’s taking their time, while you’re trying to squeeze your way through the aisles towards the exit. The whispering doesn’t seem to stop, and you know you’ll hate yourself forever if you decide to listen to what is being said.

Joohyuk watches you amusedly. You’re too occupied by your thoughts, and you were muttering things underneath your breath. As he just finished packing his things, he finds you already at the exit of the lecture hall. He tilts his head in confusion. He squints his eyes in suspicion when he hears the whispering yet again.

“Joohyuk’s so handsome…”

“I know, right?! She’s so pretty too… don’t you think they look good together?”

“I think they’ll be the couple of the campus, it must be fate that they both came to class late.”

“Yeah! They even ended up sitting together, what kind of coincidence would that be? I think it’s fate.”

Joohyuk purses his lips into a tight line. He starts to feel guilty, wondering if you had felt uncomfortable throughout the whole lecture because of everyone around you.

“Hey, but what about Jeon Jungkook? Isn’t he interested in her?”

“I thought he was dating Mina.”

“Yeah, me too!”

He shrugs off his thoughts, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he heads out of the lecture hall.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as Eunbi continues to belt out into fits of laughter. Her roommate, Inha, went back home to spend the weekend with her parents, leaving Eunbi all alone for once. Eunbi’s laughter echoes throughout the dorm, and you can’t help but look at her ridiculously.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Do you know who Joohyuk is?” She questions. You shake your head. “I can’t believe it! I really can’t.”

“Just tell me!”

“Joohyuk. Nam Joohyuk. He’s the top student, he has been on the Dean’s list for two consecutive years – and counting! On top of that, he’s on the swim team and never loses.” She explains, and your mouth slowly falls open at each fact. “You could tell the heavens took up so much time trying to build a perfect man like him. He not only has the looks, he has the brain of Einstein too.”

You groan, shoving your face into her pillow. Eunbi begins to giggle. “Are you kidding me? I literally embarrassed myself in front of him?! Please, just shoot me.”

“But listen,” she whispers, “he’s single.”

“So, what—”

“You didn’t let me finish!” She exclaims. “He’s single and ready-to-mingle.”

You frown. “And he’s definitely not going to be mingling with me, because I won’t mingle with him.”

“Stop being such a party pooper! I’m sure he’s interested in you,” she wiggles her eyebrows. “On the plus side, I think fate has all the reasons to explain why you both ended up in seats next to each other after showing up late to lecture.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not going to let the event of coincidentally sitting next to him determine my fate.”

“But that’s how I met Taehyung.”

“You’re the only exception.”

Eunbi sighs and falls back against her bed. As the both of you lay next to each other, she props herself up to look at you. You’re completely absorbed in your own thoughts, and you can’t help but feel bothered. There was no doubt that what had happened earlier between you and Joohyuk would soon enough be spread across campus. It makes you let out a frustrated groan, and you rub at your temples. 

“Everyone’s definitely going to be talking about it tomorrow, huh?” Eunbi grins at you.

“Of course.” Her grin suddenly falters. “But be careful. Words can be twisted up.”

Mina walks down the hallway as she heads to her next lecture, and she notices the eruption of whispers. Her ears perk up out of curiosity, but she’s surprised that she’s not hearing her name being the subject of conversation. Y/N. She purses her lips into a tight line and shrugs it off, entering the lecture auditorium to see none other than—

“Y/N,” she sees you seated a few rows up and flashes you a smile. The auditorium was still empty, the seat still unoccupied except for yours. “Nice to see you here.”

At the sight of Mina, you could feel your body tense up. There were gears turning in her head, and you knew that she was planning something. You prove your thoughts correct when she starts heading up to your row to sit right next to you, of all seats. As she grabs her things out of her backpack, she gives you a glance.

“Are you uncomfortable with me sitting next to you?” She questions and you shake your head. 

“Not at all,” you reply softly. She grins.

“Great,” she closes her bag. “Because you’re the only person I know in this class.”

Of course I’m the only person you know. You almost ruined my life. You thought to yourself as you try to make yourself look busy by finishing one of your assignments due this week. Mina clears her throat and it prompts you to give her a side glance.

“Did you know you’re being talked about all over campus?” She asks. “Must be nice to have people talking about you. But don’t worry about what they say, they’ve all been nice things.”

You nod your head to acknowledge her, before returning to your task. The auditorium slowly fills up with fellow peers, who don’t take long to realize that you and Mina are sitting right next to each other. It makes you feel uncomfortable. The whispers come back again.

Once the auditorium is finally full before the start of lecture, Mina looks at you again. “The things they say about you might be nice for now, but if I were you, I’d watch out. Nice things could turn into backstabbing rumours.”

You gulp nervously. She smiles at you, and you’re not sure whether she’s faking it or whether she’s just doing it to irritate you. “But let’s hope that never happens to you, alright?”

“I can’t believe you’re majoring in biochemistry.”

Hoseok huffs out, leaning back in his chair. The two of you are spending your afternoon in the library, catching up on weekly readings and assignments. There was one week left until reading week, where all the students had the opportunity to catch up on their readings. You raise an eyebrow at him before flipping to the next page of your textbook.

He leans in, whispering, “Eunbi told me about Joohyuk.”

“And?” You question, looking completely unfazed.

“There’s something you should know about Joohyuk…” He trails. “And Jungkook.”

“They’re best buddies, aren’t they?” He shakes his head and you frown.

“Well, you see, Jungkook and Joohyuk have always been rivals. Joohyuk is practically the perfect guy you could ever dream of. In first year, he attended the football team tryouts, and he passed with flying colours.”

“And where does Jungkook come in?” 

Hoseok dismays. “Jungkook also passed with flying colours. Both of them were on the same team, but it was almost like they weren’t teammates. They were like rivals, and it was all due to two reasons.”

“But Joohyuk’s on the swimming team?” You laugh, completely confused. 

“That’s the thing,” Hoseok mumbles. “Reason number one, Joohyuk was so whipped for Mina, who was whipped—and still is—for Jungkook.”

“And reason number two?” It’s too much for you to handle that you’re afraid that the second reason is much more worse than the first.

“Jungkook was the reason why Joohyuk was kicked out of the football team. This explains why he’s on the swimming team now.”

“What did Jungkook do?” Hoseok shrugs his shoulders in reply. 

You close your textbook and rub your temples. Hoseok’s revelation and the words in your textbook were both screaming at you to take a break, maybe think and worry about something else for once. But you can’t help but imagine Jungkook and Joohyuk as enemies, two of the most talked about students on campus. And now… you’re somewhat in the middle of it, which is probably why everyone’s talking about you.

“I’d be extra careful if I were you,” he suggests, “the moment Joohyuk finds out you’re connected to Jungkook in some sort of way, he’ll use you in his power to ruin Jungkook.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m sure Joohyuk isn’t that petty and bad to use me to ruin his enemy.”

Hoseok places his hands on top of yours. “Sweetheart, trust me, I’ve seen the two of them brawl, and it’s not the prettiest sight. And it definitely won’t be much prettier if the person they brawl over… is you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Y/N.” Hoseok waves as the both of you head back home.

You’re walking in the opposite direction as he is, and you plan on making a quick stop at the convenience store to grab some cup noodles. Since it’s almost midterm season, and that only meant that your fridge will soon be empty and your cabinets will soon be filled with cup noodles. It was university at its finest.

You come across the convenience store near your place, and you step in, your feet absent-mindedly dragging you to the cup noodle section. There was a huge variety of cup noodles that you could probably spent at least half an hour trying to pick one that suits your taste. But knowing you, you were on a crunch of time—study time to be exact—and here you were, grabbing anything your hand comes into contact with, and placing it in your basket. 

Once your basket is almost filled with at least a dozen cup noodles, you find yourself at the checkout desk with your eyes squinted at the total. You pull out a few bills and hand it to the cashier, receiving your change in return.

“Thanks,” you smile and begin to head out the convenience store. 

As you step out of the store, you immediately stop in your tracks when you hear the heavy pitter-patter of rain hitting against the concrete. You rummage through your backpack in search of an umbrella, but frown when you realize that you’ve left it at home. The weather forecast proclaimed a beautiful day and a cloudy afternoon, but you guess you could never trust anything at this point anymore.

Sighing to yourself, you decide to make a run for it. Besides, you didn’t live far from the convenience store. Just as you’re about to make a sprint, you hear your name being called. Standing a few metres away is Joohyuk, his umbrella shielding him from the rain as he makes his way towards you.

“Joohyuk, hey,” you smile softly. 

“What are you doing out here in the rain?” He questions, but he seems to answer his own question when he notices the bag of cup noodles in your hands. “Ah, I see. Are you headed home?”

“Yeah, but unfortunately I forgot my umbrella.” You laugh sheepishly, “I was honestly about to make a run for it. I don’t live quite far from here.”

“You live in this neighbourhood?” He asks and you nod your head. “Really? How come I’ve never seen you around? I live here too.”

“You’ve never seen me around because I’ve been studying abroad last year.” You laugh, and he gestures you to walk with him. “Oh, no, I’m good. I don’t live that far!”

“I don’t want you getting sick,” he argues cutely. “We live in the same neighbourhood, let’s just go home together.”

He takes your silence as permission and the both of you are now walking through the neighbourhood. He glances down at you every now and then, and you notice it. You’re too shy and awkward to start a conversation, for this was one of your weaknesses. Being a complete introvert made it extra difficult for you to make any sort of conversation with someone you barely even knew.

“I heard you’re best friends with Jungkook,” he begins and you gulp nervously, recalling the conversation you and Hoseok had earlier. 

You hum in reply. “Yeah, we went to the same elementary and high school. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

He smiles, and you look up at him. “I used to be on the football team with him, actually.”

“Really?” You try to act surprised.

“Really.” He laughs. “I’m surprised Jungkook never told you. I would have assumed he had already told you, since both of you are close.” 

“Oh, no, here’s the thing,” you explain. “Jungkook and I have been friends throughout elementary and high school. When we both went to university, we haven’t spoken to each other for about a year.”

“Ah, I see.” He nods his head, scratching the back of his neck. “Well, a lot can happen in one year, I guess.”

You nod your head in agreement. “I don’t want to be a bit nosy but, what made you switch to the swim team?”

You watch his smile falter. He plays it off by letting out a small laugh. “I guess a certain football teammate and I had some sort of fallout over a girl. Honestly, looking back at it, it seems extremely ridiculous.”

“A girl?” You question. He nods and you sigh. “I guess a lot of things do happen in one year.”

The two of you look at each other before bursting out into laughter. You finally reach your place, and you gobble up your words when he ruffles your hair. His eyes trail down to meet yours, and you swear he stares at you much longer than needed. You’re the first to look away and his cheeks flush a slight hint of pink.

“Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow in class, I guess.” He clears his throat. You look at him, is he nervous? 

He leans down to peck a gentle kiss on your cheek and your eyes slightly widen. You bite your lip, your feet glued to the ground. What was going on? Why was your heart beating so fast? Why couldn’t you say a word? 

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Hoseok, do you mind passing me a face towel?”

Hoseok goes through your bag and pulls out a towel. He tosses it to you and you wipe down the sweat from your face. As Hoseok starts going through his bag, he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “I swear I brought my water bottle, where is it?”

“You’ve been quite out of it since this morning, Hoseok.” You chuckle. “Maybe you left it at home?”

“Ugh, you’re right. I think I am out of it.” He pulls out his wallet to take out a few bills. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go to the convenience store to get some water.”

You smile. “No worries. I’ll be right here.”

As Hoseok leaves you out on the basketball court all alone, you decide to fix up your layups. It’s been a couple weeks since you had an actual one-on-one basketball game, and you were getting pretty rusty with your footwork. You loosen up your legs and your ankles before beginning to dribble down the court. 

As you get near the 3-point mark, you dribble the ball a couple of times before making a shot. The shot goes in clean, an immediate swish, and you smile to yourself. From afar, you could hear someone clapping. You look over your shoulder to see Jungkook leaning against the lamp post.

“Jungkook, nice to see you.” You smile and Jungkook pushes himself off of the lamp post. 

“Went out for a jog,” he mumbles softly. “But I could definitely use up a quick basketball session.”

The both of you meet halfway through the court. This oddly feels familiar to you. 

“One on one?” He smirks.

“Sure.” You grin as you toss the ball at him, almost a bit too forcefully. The ball hits him in the chest and he groans in pain. You gasp softly. “Sorry!”

“Someone’s competitive,” he laughs. 

There’s no denying that you feel butterflies in your stomach or how you feel your heart leaping for joy. There’s that same feeling of nostalgia that you miss so terribly. 

Jungkook begins to charge towards the free-throw line. You take notice of how Jungkook’s surprisingly improved since the last time you played basketball with him. He dribbles the ball between his legs, almost as if he’s trying to distract you. You smirk, snatching the ball from him mid-dribble, passing the ball through his legs. You pick up the ball from behind him and begin charging towards the hoop. Throwing the ball up, you toss it into the hoop and it goes in clean.

You shrug your shoulders. “Zero-one.”

“I should step up my game, huh?” He teases. “It’s the only way I could impress you.”

You retrieve the basketball and begin dribbling it back outside of the three-point line. Jungkook starts to approach you, and you start using his method of distraction by dribbling the ball in between your legs. He tries to snatch the ball away from you, but he misses every time. 

You move side by side, and you decide to fake a left. But as you fake a left and begin to move right, Jungkook stumbles on his untied shoelaces and falls to the ground. You completely forget about the basketball in your hands and check up on him. 

He’s laughing cutely as you bend over. You tilt your head. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook opens his eyes to see you looking at him with concern. He feels his heart soften at the sight. He forgets the fact that he’s stopped laughing at himself. “Mind helping me up?”

You hold out your hand for him. He grabs it and pulls you down. You let out a soft yelp. The both of you lie down, back against the concrete. You glance at him to find him already staring at you. 

“Helping you up doesn’t exactly mean pulling me down with you.” You tease.

The both of you burst out into laughter.

Joohyuk parks his car and lets out a tiring sigh. As he pulls out his gym bag from the trunk of his car, he hears faint laughter from a distance. The laughter had seemed to be from two people, and one laugh sounded oddly familiar. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

He starts walking down the jogging path. As he walks closer to the sound of laughter, he sees a basketball court. There are two people versing each other on the basketball court. He sees a familiar figure dribbling the ball and tossing it into the hoop.

As he walks closer towards the basketball court, he realizes that it’s you. He smiles. Heading towards the court, he sees another figure lying down on the ground, grabbing your hand and pulling you down with them.

He squints his eyes. “Look what we have here…”

It doesn’t take quite long for his legs to drag him all the way to the basketball court. The closer he gets, the louder the sounds of your laugh gets. He arrives at the basketball court and stops a couple of metres away.

He clears his throat. “I was wondering who was out here at this time of night.”

You and Jungkook slowly get up, glancing at whoever was speaking to them. When you had realized it was Joohyuk, you flash him a small smile. “Joohyuk, nice seeing you here.”

Jungkook glances at you then at Joohyuk. Joohyuk eyes the both of you before shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweater. As the both of you are having a conversation, Jungkook can’t help but feel out of place. It was like he was invisible, and no matter what, he hated feeling left out. But it was almost as if you had heard his thoughts because you patted his shoulder, catching his attention. You look at him questioningly and he gives you a reassuring look.

“I have yet to go out on my night jog, so I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow?” Joohyuk insists and you nod in reply. “I’ll save you a seat, as always.”

Once Joohyuk’s out of sight, Jungkook gets up onto his feet and offers you a hand. You grab his hand and he pulls you back up onto your feet. As you dust off your pants, the both of you decide to head back. 

After a couple of minutes of walking in silence, Jungkook asks, “you’re in his class?”

You hum in reply. “Yeah. I met him on my first day of class, actually. He seems pretty nice, he’s been saving seats for me ever since.”

“That’s nice of him,” he mumbles softly. “We used to be best friends, actually.”

You purse your lips into a line. Jungkook seems to be deep in thought and reflection, as if he’s reminiscing the past. You can’t help but look up at him as the both of you walk together. Jungkook glances down at you and it prompts you to look away. He smiles because although you reply with silence, it’s the type of silence where someone just knows. 

He’s hesitant to ask you something, but when you look up at him again, he decides that it’s better to find out. “Do you… like him?”

Curious, you ask him, “what makes you ask that?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “It looks like he likes you.”

You bite your lip. Joohyuk was a sudden change of current, attempting to sway your boat filled with feelings for someone else. He was simply someone who came into your life in the most unexpected way. And although he makes you feel warm, you weren’t sure whether that was enough to determine if you romantically liked him or not. 

“I like him,” you nod your head, and Jungkook looks at you hopelessly. “But only as a friend.”

Right when those words come out of your mouth, snowflakes start falling from the sky. Excited, you look up at the sky to watch the snowflakes fall down. Jungkook sighs with relief, but he finds himself falling into a trance when he looks at you. You catch some snowflakes in your hands, and you watch them melt away. Suddenly, you feel something warm and soft being wrapped around you. Looking up, you watch Jungkook as he wraps his scarf around your neck.

You could feel your heart combusting and your cheeks heating up. He adjusts the scarf before pulling away and giving you a soft smile. “It’s getting cold.”

If you could remember one thing from this beautiful night, it would be how you realized that your feelings for Jungkook have never faded away. Unlike the snowflakes falling from the sky, your feelings for Jungkook had never disappeared in an instant. In fact, they had grown stronger.

That night, Jungkook pulls up an old undelivered text message. 

(11:07 pm - July 2017) jk: hey y/n. that day at grad, what i really wanted to tell you was that i like you. a lot. and i was wondering if you’ve been feeling how i’ve been feeling whenever we hang out. there’s just something indescribable that i feel whenever i’m with you and only you and i’m sort of terrified but at the same time i feel… safe. and at peace.

It’s been two years since that text message, and everything remains the same. The only difference is that Jungkook knows that he’s not terrified of the fall, and he is more than sure that the feelings he has for you won’t ever change. 

Jungkook loves being lowkey about his strong feelings for you. Although his definition of lowkey doesn’t necessarily mean or seem lowkey to his close friends, you somehow are oblivious of it all. But he’s not sure whether he should keep things lowkey anymore when there’s another guy coming into the picture.

And that guy happens to be Joohyuk.

author’s note: i hope you like this early christmas gift! i know this was long overdue but i knew that i had to get it done somehow. let me know what you think! hmu :-) i love making new friends!

[coffeesandfilm]

See you at the Crossroads, Crossroads, Crossroads

DISCLAIMER: I know Crossroads (dir. Tamra Davis, 2002) is iconic and Britney is an icon, and while I can appreciate its place in pop culture, I thought it would be interesting to analyse, and also to see what is says about American attitudes in the early 2000s. 

Now even though this is a fictional story with fictional characters, Lucy Wagner (played by Miss Spears) is clearly meant to represent Britney herself. First we have to look back to the hazy days of 2002, when Britney had sexed up her image with the release of her third album, Britney (2001), featuring classics such as, “I’m a Slave 4 U”, “Overprotected”, and “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman”. Despite its success, a lot of the public and media were unhappy with her pull from the ‘virginal, teen-idol’ image she originally embodied. She famously claimed at the start of her career that she wished to remain a virgin until marriage, and boy, was she ever allowed to forget it. Subsequently, she was constantly hounded by the press to see whether there was any update on this front, and if not it meant people could continue their creepy Lolita-esque fetishisation of her. I suppose this film was Britney’s way of breaking free, and telling the world that she was not that girl in the school uniform anymore, but becoming a young woman in her own right (hence the song title) without being too direct and completely alienating her audience.

To briefly summarise the plot, Lucy (Britney), Kit (Zoe Saldana) and Mimi (Taryn Manning), are three former best friends who now move around in completely different social circles, and are on the verge of graduating high school. As children they buried a chest which featured a treasured belonging from each of them, with the promise that they would meet up and re-claim these tokens after graduation. When the time comes, they begrudgingly agree to meet up once more and do what they promised, with the nostalgia fuelled by re-claiming these belongings inspiring Kit and Lucy to join Mimi (and some random guy) on a road trip to California. Mimi wanted to go to an audition in L.A, Kit wished to go to visit her fiancé, and Lucy wished to be dropped off in Arizona to meet her mother, who walked out on her family when she was young. The random guy who gives them a ride is Ben (Anson Mount), who later becomes a love interest to Lucy, and who she eventually loses her virginity to. As expected the girls have their ups and downs, but ultimately bond becoming closer than ever by the end of their trip, realising how important their friendship is. There are other themes and side storylines included, but more on that later.

You simply cannot watch Crossroads today without appreciating how of its time it is, the 2000s fashion trends, the clichéd high school dynamics, and of course, prime Britney. The three girls are American high school caricatures of sort, Kit is the bitchy but beautiful Queen Bee, Mimi is the edgy bad girl, who is also 5 months pregnant, and Lucy is the sweet, nerdy girl that most of the boys do not notice (yeah right Brit). Lucy’s father (played by Dan Aykroyd, which was a choice) is the stereotypical firm but loving single-dad who works a blue-collar job as a mechanic and has no time for 'anybody's nonsense’. I also enjoyed how Britney possessed the knowledge of a professional mechanic simply through her father being one, pretty standard teen movie logic of course. The girls jamming along to N*SYNC’s “Bye, Bye, Bye” in the car was pretty on the nose too, especially as Britney was still dating Justin Timberlake during this period, but ultimately this is what makes the movie so fun and nostalgic.  

In spite of this, I cannot deny there were certain elements of the film that rubbed me the wrong way. Mimi reveals that she became pregnant through the result of rape by a man who took advantage of her when she was drunk, which in itself I believe was a very brave and progressive plot line to include in the film, and the scene itself was heartbreaking and very well done. What I thought was ridiculous was the fact that this was apparently the first and only time Mimi had been drunk, and of course she had to get punished for it, resulting in her rape and pregnancy, a questionable lesson to teach young girls I think. It is a not so subtle way of saying that, girls partying = bad, I am not denying that safety concerns surrounding partying exist, but there were other ways they could go about it. Of course the question of abortion never even arose within the film as that would be too controversial, the closest we got to her giving up her baby was adoption, and she did not even want to do that. The worrying fact is, is that Mimi being raped is less controversial and more digestible than the concept of abortion, which in my opinion, are some very backwards and conservative priorities to preach. Ultimately as the baby was a product of rape, and Mimi was a teenager, she was never going to be able to keep it in teen movie world, and I was waiting to see how she would lose it. Whilst fleeing a confrontation from her rapist (who turned out to be Kit’s fiancé in a shocking twist of events) she trips down a block of stairs, resulting in her admittance to hospital and miscarries. Whilst still under care, she confides to Lucy that she “decided to keep her�� baby before the accident, solidifying the film’s pro-life stance and the idea that she was conforming to motherhood. Everything concerning Mimi’s situation is completely violent and horrific, and to be honest, pretty downright cruel to her character, but ultimately this was still seen as a more acceptable option to abortion. I think this period of time represented a more Conservative America, with post- 911 sentiment resulting in more traditional, Christian values being re-introduced. Even though this film may seem somewhat boundary pushing initially (when dealing with topics such as rape and sex), its whole direction and morals are drenched in Conservatism, which are quite prominent tropes in the American media. 

If I had to do a rundown of the three most ridiculous parts of the movie it would be:

1. Ben having a mini fit because the girls kindly decide to drive his car when he falls asleep at the petrol station. He makes them pull over and starts shouting at some rocks, proclaiming how his car is “the only thing that hasn’t been taken over by chicks”, one of the most fragile things I have ever heard, and one of the most unwarranted reactions ever. 

2. When Lucy’s father confronts her about running away from home, going on a road trip across the country with basically no communication, no money, and with a random stranger, all she has to do is say ‘sorry’ and he forgives her immediately, saying “you made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes, you’re forgiven”. Yes he literally says “you’re forgiven”, a shockingly quick resolution and not the greatest writing in the world.

3. The most cringe-inducing part of the film would be the climactic romance scene between Ben and Lucy. In a heartwarming moment Lucy reads Ben a very personal poem she wrote, which ends up being the lyrics to the song “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” in spoken word form. It is pretty difficult to take seriously, but then again the whole film is difficult to watch if you take it too seriously.  

On a more positive note, I thought Lucy losing her virginity was pretty tastefully done. I mean, it was a fairly standard teen movie scene, but I liked how it was not with some random guy who she had met 30 minutes earlier, or with some ex-boyfriend who she was secretly still harbouring feelings for. She lost it to some guy who she met on a road trip who she gradually developed a crush on, sure they were probably not going to get married and be together forever, but that is standard teenage life. I also appreciated how her deadbeat mum who ran out of the family when Lucy was young (played by Kim Cattrall), remained her deadbeat mum. There was no magical reunion, no moment of enlightenment, her mum was just weak and undeserving of Lucy’s love, which in itself is a difficult pill to swallow. In a way, I thought this was even more progressive than the inclusion of rape, teen media usually preaches Conservative values and the glorification of the nuclear family to its audience. Lucy attempted to reunite her nuclear family, but the film dismissed this notion, and she learnt that the family she already had: her, her father, and her friends, were just as much a family without a mother figure. 

All in all, yeah the film is far from perfect, it was never going to be a an Oscar contender, though I doubt that it was ever its intention. Sometimes a silly fun movie is just a silly fun movie. Britney proves her star power once again, and I was very impressed by her acting, going so far to say that she was the best part of the film. I cannot deny that watching the film makes me feel a ping of sadness, especially as we know what happened to her a few years later, but this film helps keep her legacy alive, and as someone who grew up idolising her, seeing happy Britney will have a special place in my heart.  

[ghostsofmemories]

Ocean in the Woods - Update #2

So, if you missed the first update or want a quick refresher (because it’s been over 3 months... wow), here’s the first update, which has a link to the WIP intro if you want to check that out.

Progress has been very slow, but hopefully now that I’m not in such a rut with a million things to do, it’ll move a little bit faster (no promises, though).

So basically, chapters 2, 3, and 4 are complete and I’ve worked my way up to 10k. It’s a little disappointing considering my original goal was 20k by the end of June and we’re already a few days into July and I only got halfway there, but I already knew that goal wasn’t realistic.

Chapter 2 is called Side Affects of Burnout and is sort of a bonding chapter between Arthur and his younger brother, Aiden. I like this chapter well enough, but I think I put this too early in the story and didn’t do enough to drive home the fact that Aiden and Arthur have a strained relationship before having them bond. However, I’m not all that worried about fixing that because no one is ever going to read this book. I was considering putting it on Wattpad in the beginning, but I’m actually perfectly content with, uh, not doing that. 

With that said, here are some fun little excerpts from Side Affects of Burnout, featuring Lance’s intro to the plot (not very many of the excerpts are well-written, I kind of gave up on editing as I went a couple weeks ago and have some passes to do before I keep going):

I had Lance in my first period, and I knew he wouldn’t notice that something was off with me. Usually, he was pretty oblivious to the rest of the world (in a very well-intentioned way) unless someone told him something was going on. He was the odd one out in our group of friends: the only one who checked the typical boxes. Cis, straight, and white. The rest of us were oddballs in school, but Lance was the oddball in our hearts.

He was folding paper airplanes out of post-it notes when I walked into the classroom. His hair was sandy blonde, uncombed, and he was wearing cargo shorts with a Darth Vader t-shirt. I was almost positive he had seen a maximum of two Star Wars movies.

“Hey,” he said, “what’s up?”

“The usual,” I said. “Sky. Clouds. Trees.” I sat in my chair next to him. Mr. Nelson didn’t assign seats, but everyone always sat in the same place. We were drawn to routine.

“That’s good,” he said, nodding, “if the sky is still up, then the world’s doing alright.”

I started out the story with Lance being somewhat of a comic relief, but I think I’m already beginning to feel some tension building up in regards to everyone labeling him as oblivious and stupid. He’s really sweet and I think he notices a lot, but just doesn’t say much about it. Here’s another section where everyone quips at Lance for being a himbo:

“Afternoon, lady and gent,” he said, sitting across from Maya and nodding at each of us respectively.

“It’s actually 11:30am,” Maya said, stealing another fry from my plate. “Labels and time in general are useless if you refuse to use them correctly.”

“Smartass,” Lance said through a bite of his sandwich. “I was just trying to be nice.”

“And I was just trying to spare you the humiliation of realizing you were wrong on your own,” she said. She started bouncing her leg after she was done stealing my fries, not knowing how to do nothing.

“He wouldn’t’ve realized on his own, Maya,” Ollie said, setting their tray down across the table from mine. “He doesn’t wear a watch or check the time.”

Vanessa, as usual, wasn’t far behind. “Lance, can you even read the time?” She was joking, of course. We always joked with Lance that way.

“Of course I can,” he said, sitting up straighter, “I just choose not to.”

And now, some of the Big Sad with Aiden and Arthur:

But the silence wasn’t horrible. I didn’t ask him to give back the water bottle I’d handed him, and I didn’t ask him why he’d been crying, and I didn’t ask him how he was tired enough to fall asleep sitting up (I also didn’t ask him to move when his head ended up on my shoulder). I wanted to be a good brother. I didn’t always need to know the details.

I love them so much and I’m kind of desperate to explore their relationship more, but so far all this book is teaching me is that I do not know how to manage all these subplots alongside the major plot of killing a monster. I’m pretty sure this’ll be the last fantasy book I ever write. Here’s a snippet of a one-sided conversation while the boys are waiting for water to boil so they can make mac n cheese.

“Hey, you can talk to me,” I said, trying to be gentle and quiet without letting my voice get pitchy. He didn’t look up, but he nodded again, his face lost in his sweater sleeves.

It was different, seeing him like this. I was so used to the Aiden that was always either smiling or sarcastic. I probably hadn’t seen him sad since he was a little kid, scraping his knees on the driveway and losing the watch he got for Christmas. He would breathe fast and panicky back then, when something went wrong. Now his breathing was slow and controlled, albeit shaky.

So yeah. At the end of this chapter, Aiden sees a girl out the window (who is Ocean, but he doesn’t know it yet) and he goes to talk to her and bring her water, and we move on to Chapter 3: River Runner. In which Ocean basically guilt trips Arthur into helping her fight the monster she brought there.

“I wasn’t mad about you not understanding my problems,” she said, standing up to follow me. I ignored her and kept walking. “I was mad at you for just sitting there and not knowing what to do besides ask stupid questions. I’m mad because you know there’s something wrong and you don’t care.”

“Why should I care?” I asked, walking faster. She would follow me all the way back to my house if she wanted to. “I don’t even know what’s going on. I don’t know you and I don’t care, so handle this on your own.”

“I don’t know how to do it on my own!” she shouted, cutting around a tree and walking beside me. “I don’t exactly dedicate my life to putting myself in danger and fighting evil creatures and saving the world.”

“So why do you expect me to do it at a ten minute’s notice?”

“You’re impossible.”

“All of this,” I said between my teeth, stopping in my tracks and closing my eyes, “is impossible. You—I was never supposed to meet you. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me.”

“Well it did. And there’s no taking it back now,” she said, stepping toward me. I opened my eyes, then. She was right about my height, maybe a little bit taller than me. “There is no supposed to. There’s only did and didn’t, do and don’t. And you have to decide which one you’re going with, because there is a right answer. And if you choose the wrong one, I’ll find someone else. You’ll be the boy who did nothing.”

I didn’t like how she could twist words and use them to make me do things. I didn’t want to help, but I didn’t want to do nothing.

“Fine, then.”

Pretty much all of River Runner is these two idiots yelling at each other, minus the part where Ocean is trying to open a portal. I won’t be putting an excerpt of that because it’s still extremely messy and that scene needs to be rewritten.

I only just started Chapter 5: Her and the Sun, but I’m liking it so far. There’s a lot of Maya in this chapter, including another mini description of her. Maya might be my favorite character in the book, honestly. I’ll leave it to Arthur to explain why.

She was crazy in the best way a person can be, I think. Where my mom would call me a little over the place, Maya would be in a thousand places at once. She was everything and everywhere and she could be everyone, too, if she could be.

For almost as long as I could remember, Maya and I were partners in crime. She led us into dozens of disasters and got us out of each one, too. Like when she helped me shave my head after I told her I was trans (but before I told anyone else) and told my parents there was a huge wad of gum in my hair.

“Trust me,” she told my dad, fourteen with huge eyes and hair that could compete in size with anyone else’s in the neighborhood, “my sister tried to fix it and this is a huge improvement.”

Maya’s sister is a hairdresser, at the time, but she had no idea what we were up to. Maya was just so convincing that no one bothered to check in with anyone else.

So, that’s pretty much it. Not my greatest writing, but at this point any words are good words, you know?

Click here to buy cool stuff my friend and I designed, where 100% of the profits go to the Black Lives Matter organization!

Click here to read my most recent poem

Taglist (send an ask/message if you’d like to be added): @brooklyn-etc @coffeeandcalligraphy @my-lifes-one-big-critical-fail @kozyisa-tries-to-write​

[mar-bluu]

How do you reckon Elmer and Buttons would react if Lucy got pregnant? Can just imagine how excited Elmer'd be, calling everyone like "im gonna be a grandad!"

Akdksoske ohmygosh okay!!! (This is gonna be my long, and incomprehensible ramblings, sorry!!)

So! One day Elmer's sitting in the kitchen eating his breakfast when Lucy walks in and just throws up right in front of him. Elmer's like "oh okay that's nice, you do that, yeah right in front of my toast, okay" and Lucy just walks out and leaves him to clean it up. So Elmer finishes up his toast and cleans up Lucy's mess when Buttons walks in. Elmer's like "Lucy threw up just before but i cleaned it up, so be careful, the floor might be wet." And Buttons goes "huh, she threw up yesterday as well." So they're a little concerned but chalk it up to her probably eating grass. The next day, however, when she throws up again, they're like "okay something might be wrong, let's take her to the vet" so they bundle her up in the car and drive down to the vets, Elmer's quietly freaking out because all he can think of is the absolute worst, and Buttons is trying to keep him calm, saying that its probably nothing as he tries to stay calm as well.

They pull up and head inside. As theyre sitting in the waiting room, Lucy throws up again, so the lady at the desk is like "okay, we should probably look at that like, now." So Lucy's brought into a side room and Buttons explains that she's been off her food and vomiting for the last few days. So the vet's like "is she spayed?" And Elmer and Buttons look at each other like "is she??" So they say that they're unsure and the vet's like "okay, well we're gonna do an ultrasound real quick" Lucy's whisked off to the back room for an ultrasound and now, Elmer's f r e a k i n g out. "Buttons, she could've eaten something really bad! What if she's been poisoned? Did we remember to give her her heartworm tablets? Did we check her for ticks!?" And Buttons is trying to stay calm and reassure Elmer, and theyre both too busy worrying about Lucy to notice the vet coming back. She opens the door to the two of them panicking, and just sets Lucy down on the examination table, waiting for Elmer and Buttons to notice. Lucy sits on the table with her tail wrapped around her paws and meows loudly. That gets their attention, and the turn to the table, holding each other's hands nervously. "Well," the vet starts "Lucy's gonna be just fine." Elmer and Buttons share a look of relief. "But," they begin to grow nervous again "you might wanna consider kiddie proofing the house, cause Lucy's gonna be a mama"

The two of them are completely silent, staring open mouthed between the vet and their cat, who stares proudly back. "What?" The vet just nods, giving Lucy a scratch behind her ears. "A mother of seven, actually. Or at least thats how many i can see." Buttons squeals excitedly as Elmer tackles him in a hug "we're gonna be grandparents!!" The vet laughs along before stepping them through the pregnancy process. She walks them to the counter and gives them a card to an all-hours house call vet who can help them if they're worried about or during birth. They thank the vet and bring Lucy home.

The second they got inside Elmer's on the phone to everyone telling them the good news as Buttons lectures Lucy about running off and getting pregnant. Everyone's so happy for them (especially Davey who's a big cat person, though he doesn't often show it and Mush who comes over as soon as possible with extra cat food and bedding) and Buttons and Elmer spend 110% of their attention on Lucy and making sure she's comfortable ("pregnant cats are called queens, Buttons, we should treat her like one!" "She has three beds stacked on top of each other and enough food to last her a life time, i dont think she needs another cat-box" "fine, but we need to get her a "world's best mum" cat bowl!")

Anyway! One morning at about 2:40 am Elmer wakes up to Buttons shaking his shoulder. "It's happening!" "What?" "It's happening!!" "Wha- oh, oh!" He springs out of bed as Buttons dials the emergency vet. Elmer sprints through the house, finding Lucy huddled in a corner, washing her fur. Elmer kept his distance, not wanting to annoy her, as he tried to keep his excitement quiet. Not too long after that the emergency vet arrived, following Buttons into the room. He said there wasnt a lot he can do, as Lucy seemed to be handling it very well, so they sat there and talked about Lucy, if this was her first litter, how well she'd been dealing with the pregnancy etc. They waited there for an hour and a bit, cooing over pictures of the vet's own kittens, before Lucy gave birth to the last of her kittens. The vet monitored Lucy for another half hour or so before heading off, ("make sure to take them to the vets within a week or two for a wellness check") and Elmer and Buttons move in closer for a look at the newest additions to their family. They count the kittens, finding another 2 the vet missed, and excitedly snap pictures and send them to their friends. As they continue to melt over the kittens, they notice that while a lot of them have the same black and white colourings of their mother, a few of them were a pretty orange, that looked suspiciously like the ginger cat who lived down the street. Buttons made a mental note to have a stern talking to with him the next time they saw him.

Already Elmer's thinking of names for the kitties, sending options to the groupchat (only Race is awake and his suggestions include Professor Cheeseball and Sir Meatball Daggertooth, which he reads out to Lucy who doesn't look too pleased with them) Buttons had already picked a name for one, Tigger, which they settled on giving to the biggest ginger fluffball. They settled on Gizmo for the kitty that looked like a little clone of his mum, then waited for the others to wake up and help (Race is officially banned from naming anything after suggesting Moldy Stink Rat) Elmer and Buttons sat on the couch and watched Lucy with her new babies, wrapped in each others arms, as they fall asleep listening to Lucy meow softly to her kittens.

After about three months, the kittens were all named (Tigger, Gizmo, Oreo, Luna, Willow, Sunny, Marmalade, Cedar, and after lots and lots and lots of pestering from his human counterpart, the last one was named Jack) and had their appropriate vet work done. Davey appointed himself as godfather and was over any time he could ("where are my babies? I want to see my babies!" *scoops up Gizmo* "And how's mama Lucy going?") Mush and Blink would come and visit them frequently too, always bringing little toys and things for the kittens to play with. Cedar had taken a real shine to Mush and Blink, and would always go running towards them whenever he heard their voices. (Elmer and Buttons had a feeling of who they wanted to give Cedar to when the time came) Jack couldn't come over as frequently as the others but would constantly text Elmer and Buttons for updates on Cat-Jack, and had a picture of his kitty twin in his wallet and would show it off proudly to anyone who asked.

Unfortunately come month 4, Buttons and Elmer had to make the tough decision of giving away their precious babies. Lucy was just as upset as the two of them, but they couldn't keep looking after all of them, they'd already lost a pair of shoes, two pillows and several cups and glasses. So they needed to make sure the kitties went to the best of homes. Naturally Davey offered to take two (Oreo and Marmalade), Katherine took Willow, Barney adopted Luna, and Albert got Sunny. Elmer and Buttons asked Blink and Mush if they wanted to take Cedar, but they were slightly hesitant as they didnt want him to be overwhelmed by all the other animals (though they seriously had to restrain themselves from accepting right away) So Elmer and Buttons held onto him (tho they had a feeling that in a month or so he'd be living on the farm) Jack obviously adopted mini him, and Gizmo and Tigger stayed with Buttons and Elmer

Every month or so, they would all organize a meet up together, usually at Buttons' and Elmer's house so Lucy could see her babies again, and have kitty hangouts. Lucy, Elmer and Buttons miss the other kittens a lot, but they're happy knowing that they're with good families and good homes :)

Also Lucy definitely got spayed after bc they couldn't deal w the heartbreak of giving away kittens again, and also to help keep kitties off the streets, and the cat from down the road got a very stern talking to

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep8: Magic Mai

So fun fact, I was out of town around this Thanksgiving and I grabbed a laptop from my Dad’s stack of machinery he’s sort of collected over the years and lo and behold--he put Linux on it.

Like I dunno if you all can relate to this problem, but everything he touches turns into Linux and he’s trying to live this Windows free/Mac free lifestyle, and I get it, I’m friends with so many vegetarians, but like I hate this laptop. I'm using Gimp to make these screenshots...So I can re-do them later in Photoshop because...it just doesn’t feel right to put Papyrus on this computer. It already has Linux. This poor machine has suffered enough. Long story short, this’ll be a small update because right clicking on linux is ass.

Also, because I was on a laptop and realized how small my blog is for the first time--I don’t have control over the size of pictures in text posts, tumblr does, and in this particular theme it’s not allowing me to change the size, and so do me a favor. Click ctrl and + at the same time a couple times (I’m assuming most of you are on firefox). There. the pictures are the right size now. If you hated that, you can click ctrl and - but like lets be real, my font is occasionally...tiny.

Anyway, we start discussing this episode on the confusing legs of the last one, where Mai is evil now, and it’s really not entirely clear if she’s possessed or if she’s just always been this way, or if she just FEELS like it.

And that’s all this episode is about, start to finish--is this Mai’s choice or was this not Mai’s choice? The answer is the same as it would be for a normal person: it’s complicated. Maybe it’s everybody’s choice. Maybe it was because no one did anything that Mai went completely haywire? Maybe it was because Mai hid how she was feeling so no one had any idea she needed help? Or, overall, maybe Mai is kind of a toxic person and wanted to be this way? Especially while she’s on children’s cartoon card drugs?

(read more under the cut)

So to start off, a weird thing happened at the beginning of this episode. After about 4 seasons, someone finally mentioned this:

How many seasons has Yugi been talking to himself? Like, out loud. In front of everyone and Kaiba? This whole time, right? Like Valon just dashed my headcanon where I figured Yugi was smart enough to think his thoughts instead of speak his thoughts. He’s just not that smart, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Mai has managed to attract this other (teenager?) guy and like...to go worse than Joey so quickly is kind of shocking. Mai just seems embarrassed by the amount of very young boys in love with her. And she’s not even a cougar about it, she doesn’t really seem to want this to happen but it keeps on happening.

And although he is essentially the card form of a drug pusher, Valon has this soft spot for a girl I guess to give him some sort of redeemable flaw. However, she only wears tube tops and minis and spends like hundreds of dollars on her hair, so it doesn’t really make him seem any less shallow, tbh.

PS I’m surprised, that unlike all the other characters on Yugioh, I can’t just type in Valon’s name into Google and get his age and weight. No idea what his age is, and if you know, feel free to tell me but he just seems...exactly the same age as Joey. He seems very 17. Maybe it’s the obsession with motorcycles and children’s playing cards? Maybe it’s his big ol childlike eyes? He just seems young and niave like how a teenager who just fell in love with a very angry older woman would.

Joey tries to remind everyone, multiple times, that this game is the worst idea ever since it requires one of them to super die, but Mai is on card drugs so I don't know why they bothered. Also, why is Joey still surprised by this after 4 seasons of this?

Yo it’s S4 and Mai witnesses magic non-stop but still has basically no idea how it works. She really did say “I have no soul” and it was like...I’m 90% certain she literally thinks she has no soul right now. Which I guess, statistically speaking, is rare to actually have a still intact soul after hanging out with the main villain, with the way this show typically goes.

Meanwhile, last episode it really sounded like Duke Devlin was driving to Pegasus’ company building. It really sounded like he would have gone directly there, since Weevil and Rex told him that Yugi was going to Pegasus.

Remember that Duke Devlin works for Pegasus and probably has his own parking spot.

So where did he go instead?

You know how there’s only one gas station in the entirety of America?

I can’t believe it blew up.

Y’all what is the red splotch in the middle of the pile ps? That is legitimately a pile of blood, right? I didn’t shop that in. There’s just a red puddle in this kid’s show.

Y’all what is that? Like was there a scene with a red handkerchief that I missed? Is that a red handkerchief?

But to move past the mysterious pool of blood that confirms those bikers are so hella dead, I have no idea why Duke was here, I have no idea how he got the tip off that Yugi visited this place, but then he turned around and went back to SF so like...I guess he’ll arrive 3 days from now because again, they are in Arizona. They keep telling me this is right outside SF but like--Mesas. There’s Mesas.

And then this happened.

That one guy on the writing staff who just stans Seto Kaiba so hard got into the drawing room, I see.

PS someone had to pose for this shot for them to draw this shot from this angle.

Meanwhile, lets see why Mai turned evil. Ah, because it is Yugioh, the biggest reason is that she has no friends (probably because she’s got the most acidic personality known to man) and isn’t card popular enough and got super bitter and jealous.

Speaking as an artist who is online, I can understand the frustration here. Sometimes (99% of the time) you work really hard and no one cares and you get like 2 notes. And honestly, why should they? Like, why do you do it in the first place?

Mai echoes a lot of the issues of Seto last season, where she wants so badly to be the absolute best to prove herself to the ghosts of her past who really don’t care any more.

But, since Mai was in a coma when Seto got through all of that, I guess she never got the memo and still seems stuck on just wanting to be the best with no other reason than “to be the best” which again, sounds so much like art school problems. This is everyone who has ever had an interest in animation. We all go through that phase.

Generally we don’t take peoples souls as a reaction to that type of discouragement, but then Mai made sure to mention in almost a foot note that she did spend like an entire season and a half trapped in Marik's shadow realm. And that kind of effed her up in a really big way.

Thanks, Marik.

Really feels like Marik should be dealing with this problem--really feels like maybe Marik is the only person that we can actually point to and say “Oh yeah, that guy is to blame for Mai right now” And he is the only person that Mai does not actively go out and try to kill.

And I’ll have you know I just deleted like a 15 K word rant about the difference between character assassination and your character just--evolving into a jackass, and how it’s OK to have your character change into a jackass, especially after trauma. I felt this need to really have to defend this ancient writing technique that people have been using since about as long as stories have been around.

Then I remembered “Oh yeah, I’m just making this point because a few number of very loud idiots on the internet want to have very lukewarm hot-takes about popular characters solely because they enjoy baiting people on twitter into getting into week-long arguments that don’t go anywhere.” and I just...let it go. I let it just...go into the ether. Ah. The peace that comes when you already know you’re right.

But anyway, back to Yugioh, which thankfully doesn’t take a stance on this nuanced subject, and only presents this very serious problem without actually offering a solution (because there isn’t a one fit’s all solution to falling off the deep end and getting into drugs and murder), Mai decides to just go and blame this decision she made on anyone else. Because, why take responsibility for your actions, when you can pin it on people who were on the other side of the freakin planet when it happened?

Like, I just want to remind y’all that she was in ATLANTIS.

I wonder how good the cell reception is in ATLANTIS.

I just...Mai is like in her mid twenties maybe thirty’s. She’s so arbitrarily old that she plays Yugi’s Mom in the video game spinoff where they’re reincarnations of medieval times. That’s how old she is.

Imagine if you made some epically BAD decisions because you were jealous of some teenager’s success and didn’t want to be weak anymore, and then you confronted those teens, and said “This is all your fault.”

Imagine looking someone as dysfunctional as Joey Wheeler and telling him “You made me like this” because lollllllll

And I present this as a joke but like basically this happens all freakin time. We’ve all had a friend like Mai. Past tense of course, because it’s really hard to keep a friend like Mai for very long. (One of my friend’s who went Mai destroyed my apartment one summer and then literally blamed it on me for going to California for 2 months and leaving her unattended.) But like...don’t let Mai’s do it to you. They can get better, but only if it’s their choice, really. You can’t force them to save themselves.

But, as Mai was finally ready to give up cards and probably improve her quality of life by a huge degree, unfortunately, she got sucked right back into the trap.

Bro note: being a serial murderer cultist is basically working at McDonald's in this universe so maybe this wasn’t even that weird?

But that aside, this is alllllmost like a dark version of “Mai got into an abusive relationship to fill the void in her heart” except she’s not even really dating this guy? Like she hates this guy? He’s just kinda there?

Y’all I really can’t tell if Valon is in an abusive relationship with Mai who is using him for power or if she’s in an abusive relationship with him because he only wants her pretty face and wants to kill Joey because Joey liked her once--and maybe it’s both? Maybe both of these people are just...really bad for each other?

Overall Joey is kind of tossed into this not-a-love-triangle and I’m like

“Hey show? show? Am I supposed to....were any these people ever dating? Is there supposed to be an implied history? Am I supposed to get attached to this?” because I mean...the only character who was able to get some actual physical romance on this show was Pegasus when he macked the ghost of his dead wife because, again, Pegasus is the freakin king of this entire show. Of course HE can do it.

But have this show clarify what the hell is happening between Valon and Mai? I’m gonna take a bet that we will never get to see it beyond Valon being like “Ain’t she a beaut!” Like Steve Irwin talking to an alligator, and Mai just pretending he doesn’t exist. Yugioh romances are so completely one way every single time. If something more than that happens, I’ll be

shook.

Anyway, as all the children on the show keep repeating over and over again, they haven’t had any contact with Mai since she left the freakin country and they went back to High School.

And so someone threatens to kill himself, as is Yugioh tradition, and someone else barks at him to NOT kill himself, as is also tradition, and they decide to play real cards next episode.

This whole entire episode, PS, Joey went out of his way to just...not play cards. that was this whole episode. Way to draw out a card game over three episodes, I guess.

Anyway if you want to read these from the start you can do so by clicking the link here

[angeme8een-blog]

Casualties and Survivors

CHAPTER 1: AIRPORT LOUNGES AND FIDGETING LEGS

The romanticisation of airports has made life more difficult for travellers. It has permitted such overwhelming, not to mention unnecessary, public display of affection that inconveniences those who just want to methodically get from one country to another. Case in point are the hipster lovers who refused to detach their lips from each other, causing quite a ruckus at the drop-off lane. The already noise-polluted terminal air got more chaotic as several cab drivers started honking and yelling expletives at the tanned brunette and her blond lover.

“These young people know no manners anymore, aist!” Mr. Yang expressed his irritation as he scratched the side of his head. Brett wanted to give a cheeky response but he caught himself in fear of being given a proper lecture. Showing your dad how sassy your mouth is on a terribly hot day is a formula for disaster, and Brett knew well enough not to further rile-up his dad when his Chinese accent has already come through. Besides, he was just 30 seconds away from getting out of his dad’s 1997 Toyota Corolla. Might as well keep his thoughts to himself.

“Bretty boy, where is Eddy, huh?” his dad asked as he parked the car on an open drop-off spot and turned on the hazard light. Brett unlocked the passenger’s seat and began collecting his things while responding “he’s probably near. He told me his mom wanted to personally see him leave, unlike the last time we went on tour.” Mr. Yang helped Brett carry his luggage to the curb and onto a trolley before giving his son a hug.

“Now you go with my blessing. Be very good and kind, especially to Eddy. Call your mom from time to time, okay?”

“I will, dad. Thanks again for dropping me off. You should go back to the car before security decides to clamp your tire”

“Aist! I’m an old man, they should show respect!” Mr. Yang scratched the side of his head once more before going back to his car. Brett waved a final goodbye before he pushed his trolley towards the entrance. Once inside, Brett brought out his phone to check-up on Eddy.

“Bro, where you at? I’m already in line for security”

“Bro, please don’t kill me but I’m going to have to take the next flight out tomorrow morning. My sister went into labor five minutes after I left my house. We had to go back home to fetch her because no one else could drive her to the hospital. So now I’m here with Ma and we’re rushing to Queen Elizabeth’s” Eddy explained.

“It’s been 9 months already!? Damn, I totally forgot that Belle was pregnant” Brett slapped himself in the forehead.

“Dude…how could you have forgotten? Have you seen her tummy? It’s like she swallowed Pluto just after NASA announced it’s no longer a planet”

“I fucking heard that Eddy Chen!” Belle’s voice erupted in the background, prompting Brett to move his phone away from his ear.

“I’m sorry” Brett heard Eddy whisper to his sister. “Just hang in there, we’re about 10 minutes away from the ER. Now shush”

“Anyway, bro, so yeah. I’m really sorry about this” Eddy said.

“No worries! Just be there for your sister. Also, tell Belle I said goodluck! Wait, is that the appropriate thing to say to someone who’s about to give birth?”

“I’m not really sure but I think that kinda works. Update me when you’ve landed, alright? Don’t have too much fun without me. Also, practice!” Eddy said before hanging up.

Brett gave a small chuckle as he pocketed his phone. Leave it to Eddy to still be roasting his sister while she’s already in labor. The man’s sense of humour and quick wit are truly remarkable, not to mention unparalleled. Even Brett recognises the indispensable role of Eddy’s creativity in the growth of their channel. He concedes that most of the comedic content in their videos are products of Eddy’s ingenuity. There’s never a dull moment when Eddy’s around, and that’s why Brett is slightly disappointed that he would have to fly solo in his trip to the States. Just thinking about the long hours of sitting down and getting arse cramps every hour or so is already enough to bring Brett to a state of despair. Country hopping is fun, going from one city to another is too, but the actual travel is what really takes a toll on Brett’s energy and mood. He hates every single minute of it, especially the long wait in the airport. There are always way too many people, way too much noise, and way too much walking to do. He’s a musician, for Pete’s sake. His physical activities are limited to five minute walks (usually less since he spends most of his time indoors anyway) and the occasional Lingling workouts that push him over the edge. Just getting through security was enough for him to break a sweat.

After passing through the first round of metal detectors and the x-ray machines, Brett proceeded to the check-in counter of Qantas. It was a long wait before his turn so he decided to check on the ticket sales of their tour. Only two performances in the last city in their itinerary have not sold out yet, but he’s positive that it will eventually. TwoSet’s popularity suddenly grew during the first two weeks of January which the pair did not really expect. The abrupt spike in the number of views per video, not to mention reaching 2 million subscribers much earlier than expected, made the duo ecstatic and grateful beyond words. But their growing fame was a double-edged sword for it meant more work for both of them. It didn’t help that Eddy made a promise to their fans that once the channel reached 2 million subs, Brett would drop his Tchaikovsky recording. And so he had less than a month to perfect the popular piece before he finally performed it during the livestream they did last February. More than a million of the Lingling wannabes from all over the world watched him play the same piece he performed during his debut in 2012. It was nerve wracking, but it was pretty exciting too. Performing for his fans have always brought Brett so much joy, and he will gladly do it until the time when he physically can’t anymore.

“Sir? Please” the voice of the ground stewardess urging Brett to come forward to the counter broke his stupor.

“Sorry” Brett apologised as he handed his ticket. He was loading his luggage on the counter when he heard a pleading voice at the counter next to his. He decided to get a glimpse at the commotion, noting how disheveled and desperate the woman looked and how equally impatient the ground stewardess was becoming. Brett then abruptly withdrew his stare when he and the woman accidentally caught each other’s eyes. Brett continued to load his luggage so it won’t seem too obvious that he was eavesdropping.

“I’ll take any open seat. Please” the woman begged. The fatigue in the woman’s voice was evident, and Brett could not  help wondering if she was hungover or she just came from baby-sitting seven toddlers all at once.

“I’m sorry, madame. But so far the flight is fully booked. If you want, there’s another plane coming in at noon. I can book that for you” the passenger service crew explained.

“No, no. That would be too late. But please, if ever an opening comes up, please do notify me. I’ll give you my number” the woman said as she started scribbling on the piece of paper that the lady behind the counter gave.

“Mr. Yang, here are your boarding pass and your luggage tag. By the way, you received an upgrade courtesy of the airlines. You can use the Business Class lounge while waiting for your flight” the lady smiled at him as she handed Brett everything he needed. Upgrade? Brett thought to himself. That’s weird, specially since the other lady just said the flight’s fully booked.

“That’s generous, thank you” Brett said gratefully. “Oh, by the way, my friend Eddy Chen was supposed to fly with me but he won’t be able to make it because of a family emergency” he added before leaving the counter. Brett internally cringed at what he just did. He knew for a fact that the airline could not possibly use that information. They had protocols to follow when it came to cancellations. Aside from that, it was a really random thing to do.

Well, not random. Brett thought. You just wanted to help the panda-eyed woman without being to obvious. Damn she was tired. And damn, was I really obvious though.

Brett decided to shrug off that awkward incident by texting Eddy while he walked towards the lounge. He did not get any reply right away so he figured that his best friend was probably still attending to his sister. Upon arriving at the lounge and finding a spot to sit in, Brett decided to do some work. After he finished, he went to the bar to get something to drink and eat. He was munching on his crisps when he got a text from Eddy.

Bro, update our fans. Was supposed to do it but I totally forgot. And I reckon they’re not really interested in seeing a bloody head emerge between my sister’s legs yeah?

Jfc Eddy, you could’ve spared me the mental image. But yeah, yeah. I’ll do it.

Brett opened their instagram account and started going live. He once again thanked their fans for all the support they have shown, and then proceeded to update them about why Eddy was not with him at the moment. He was doing a mini Q&A when it was announced on the PA system that his flight is going to start boarding passengers in 15 minutes. Brett bid their fans goodbye, pocketed his phone, and left the bar to go back to where he sat before. He was ten steps away from his seat when he noticed that someone else was occupying the chair near the window. It was the same woman from the other counter, the one who was desperately pleading for a ticket.

Lucky her. I guess she did get what she needed after all. Brett muttered to himself as he sat himself in the sofa facing the woman. He placed his violin on his left and his carry-on luggage on the floor before bringing his eyes back to the girl near the window. She was holding a book open in front of her, though it appeared that she wasn’t really reading it. Her hazel eyes stared blankly at the pages of Sara Borjas’ Heart Like A Window, Mouth Like A Cliff as she bit on her left thumb.

Is she nervous? Brett wondered as he continued observing her.

He brought his eyes to her hair and noticed how it was haphazardly wrapped around a bun on top of her head, and it seemed like it would unravel itself at any moment. She was pale for a person who lived in Australia (summer is just about to end after all), but her cheeks had a little bit of red in them.

Is she ill? Has she just cried? Brett pondered. He continued staring at her as if she was a specimen in a laboratory.

Brett noticed that her right leg, which was crossed over her left, would not stop fidgeting. It would slow down from time to time but the shaking did not cease. Sometimes her free hand would slide down to her lap and she would start tapping it in sync with her fidgeting leg. There were instances when she’d bring her head up from her book and her eyes would almost lock with Brett’s, but he was quick enough to avert his stare whenever she was on the verge of moving her head. It was as if they were playing a game of hide and seek, except that no one was really seeking because only one was playing and he wasn’t even playing it well. He was just there, in plain sight, in open space, staring and ogling with no particular purpose. Just staring. And wondering.

Like a creep. Aist. Brett huffed as he realised how wrong it was to be people watching. Well, not people watching in general. Just the one. More aptly put, person watching. Or stalking he thought if I’m going to be honest with myself.

Brett’s slow descent into his own thoughts was interrupted once again by the PA system. His flight number was called, and its passengers were informed that they were to board in Gate C7. Since Brett got an upgrade into business class, he had the privilege of being accommodated first. Not to mention not having to walk all the way to Gate C7 because the airline lounge had a direct jet bridge that connected to the Boeing 787-9 which would carry hundreds of passengers from Brisbane straight to New York. Brett collected his things and walked towards the airline staff who collected his boarding pass and assisted him to the plane. He was greeted by the plane crew once he entered, and was directed to his seat.

“Would you like me to put that away for you?” The stunning flight attendant gestured to his violin.

“Would it be possible for me to keep it on my side?” He asked.

“Of course, Sir. I’ll just fetch some straps to keep it in place. I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable” she smiled before leaving for the cabin.

Brett immediately took a selfie and posted it on instagram. He messaged Eddy about the upgrade and teased the latter of leaving the duo to become a soloist. Eddy immediately replied with a picture of him with tears in his eyes. This made Brett laugh but also feel a twinge of melancholy at the same time because bantering with his best mate was way better in person than doing it digitally. Moreover, Brett started engaging in creepy recreational activities because of Eddy’s absence, and it was so out of character for him that he gave an internal scream.

Thank god that’s over Brett told himself as he inhaled deeply and settled himself in the plush window seat. He sent last minute text messages to his friends and family before he turned off his phone.

“Excuse me sir, here are the straps for your violin” the flight attendant from earlier returned with a pair of 13 inch black straps which she handed to Brett. He gave a slight nod and mouthed a thank you while receiving the straps. He then  proceeded to secure his violin to the side. Brett was about to close his eyes when the woman from the lounge entered and stopped at the chair beside him. She whispered something to the flight attendant who was assisting her before she took her seat.

Not again. Brett muttered to himself as he once again stared intently at the woman. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and he did not know why. She wasn’t exactly a head turner, but she had this aura about her that piqued Brett’s curiosity.

Curiosity. That’s it, I’m curious. That’s exactly the reason why I can’t look away. Brett thought.

There’s a story, surely there’s a story behind those tired hazel eyes. There must be because no one looked like that, like she carried the weight of the entire world on her shoulders, but at the same time radiate (but only minutely) a different, more positive energy.

Independence?

Brett guessed.

Gratitude?

Fulfilment?

Success?

It’s like he was playing charades with Eddy again, only this time the other person was a complete stranger and he can’t communicate, much more confirm, his guesses. He looked at her more intensely as he searched for more clues about the type of person that she was. First, he looked at her hands to check if she might have callouses similar to his. She had some, but it was on the wrong places. She was not a musician. Maybe she was a writer, or an architect. Brett was not able to come up with a proper conclusion as to her profession, but he decided that whatever she did had something to do with using her hands.

Second, he considered what she was wearing. She was just wearing tight jeans, black boots, and a plain knitted white sweater. She had no accessories nor any other apparel that would help her battle the weather once they land in New York.

Unless she has one in her carry-on. But I highly doubt that. Brett thought. He did not see her with any luggage at the check-in counter, nor in the lounge. She only had a big tote bag with her which she also declined to be placed in the overhead compartment. Brett inferred that this trip was a product of spontaneity, or panic. It really could go either way. But what was obvious was she did not plan this through.

Brett slowly lifted his sights up to study her face once more. But what happened next caused him to feel a rush of blood to his cheeks. She was staring at him. She saw him staring at him. And now their eyes were locked at each other and Brett did not know what to do.

Fuck.

[witchreflection]

Hello friends, I not only translated from Spanish my MP100/GO crossover, I expanded it a bit 

The one where Mob is the Antichrist (WIP)

As it happens with all important projects, when the moment to set the apocalypse into motion arrived, the infernal powers appointed (or may be, sentenced) a committee to oversee all details, and as it happens with all committees, no one ever agreed on anything and only one person (or in this case, being) did all the work[1].

In another world, the unfortunate sap in charge of the allocation of a human family for the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness, chose the family of the American Cultural Attaché in the United Kingdom as the best suited for the task, and then devised an ingenious plan (for a demon) where all the actual planning for the interchange of babies was delegated to other even more unfortunate infernal agents.

In this world, however, the outcome of the committee representative’s game of eeny, meeny, miny, moe was different, so the chosen family was that of the daughter of a Japanese home appliances tycoon, and then the committee’s representative forgot to actually delegate the planning until the last moment. This is why the demon Crowley received the following orders alongside a basket with a perfectly average looking, dark haired male baby:

“Corrupt a human so they can be persuaded to steal a child from his mother’s arms, to be unknowingly replaced by our Lord’s son.”

And,

“DO NOT MESS IT UP, CROWLEY.”

Crowley offered ₤100[2] to a nurse he found smoking in the parking lot to do the deed.

And well, many years later Crowley will wash his hands over the whole affair, arguing that his plan would have worked if that same day, at that same hospital, at the other end of the same hall where Hoshino Nadeshiko-san (full-time heiress) was in labor, Kageyama Akane-san (programmer, alongside her husband at the UK for work) was not in the same situation. Or maybe it would have worked if this nurse were not terribly racist, on top of unscrupulous, and didn’t think that “all Chinese people look the same”[3].

***

Eventually, the Kageyama family (now including their much-loved Shigeo) had to return to Japan once their contracts and visas expire. In the meanwhile, the young Hoshino Asahi-kun grew a bit neglected by his parents, but with the constant attention and counsel of his kendo instructor[4] and the housekeeper.

***

Asahi-kun’s 15th birthday comes but no hellhound does.

Crowley and Aziraphale scramble to find out what happened to the Antichrist, and they first search for the nurse who is now in prison[5] and doesn’t know anything of use, then the hospital, where they pick up a paper trail[6] that leads them to Japan.

“Well,” says the demon to the angel. “On the bright side, you do like sushi.”

***

Kageyama Shigeo is a very normal baby. Average size, average weight, reaches the developmental milestones at the expected ages. His parents love him very much and if Shige-chan has an habit of always managing get things he shouldn’t into his hands, they don’t think too much about it and gently correct him, just as they do when he tries to lick the neighbour’s cat or pulls from mommy’s hair.

When things start to float a bit, they take it on stride, because, well, it is not really problem, it is only small things and not very high, and Akane is pregnant again.

It does take them by surprise when Ritsu-chan keeps dropping his pacifier or a preferred toy and they have to keep picking it up for him, which immediately raises a concern about how many things that touched the floor ended up on Shige-chan’s mouth, and relief that they don’t have to worry about that with Ritsu-chan[7].

As Shige grows, so do his powers, and his family also grows accustomed to them. Soon, every time he cries –which is not often– the furniture will rattle, the rain will not touch him and he would make little and not so little animals swim through the air, or the bath water would float in shapes, but is always to entertain Ritsu or their friend Tsubomi. Sometimes the cutlery will bend, or Shige would accidentally make everything in the house hover 2cm over the floor in his sleep, but he is a good kid and it’s not like he does it intentionally.

Then, after an incident where Ritsu returns unharmed but covered in blood and Shige in in tears, and they don’t tell no matter how much Akane and Hisao ask their children what happened, Shige stops using his powers deliberately while the accidents increase, but they can’t do anything about it, because who do you ask about your child ESP problems? 

***

Later, people will debate if the well-timed appearance of Reigen Arataka into Shigeo’s life was in fact as “godsend” as the Kageyamas thought the day their child returned home from school happier and more at ease that they had seen him in months.

The fact that the man would also act as a quick response free babysitter and chaperon also helped to improve their opinion of him[8].

***

Kageyama Shigeo is a very unremarkable boy, but he tends to have a tangible effect in the people who cross his path, and he achieves this despite his powers and no thanks to them, mostly.

Had this been a different world, his powers would have not been obvious, but would have arranged the world around him to his liking. In this one, they never get him what he wants and he has to figure that one all on his own[9].

***

A list of times the world could have ended ahead of schedule:

After the incident when Shigeo lost control of his powers for the first time and believed, for a second, before he heard him cry, that Ritsu was dead.

All the times Dimple tried and failed to convince Shigeo to help him become a god[10].

The time a technician’s shoelace got caught in his desk chair’s wheel, making him trip and smash his keyboard, almost starting up a chain of events that would have resulted in a Chinese Navy ship colliding with an American one, had he not also accidentally disconnected the ethernet connection of his terminal in the process.

The time Mogami almost managed to make Shigeo lose his faith in humanity.

The time Dimple did achieve godhood thanks to Shigeo’s powers, before Shigeo’s powers decided they could do give it a try on their own and Dimple realised his mistake.

That one incident by the end of Shigeo’s second year at middle school, which is not discussed in public by people in the known, for plausible deniability, you understand. Even thought it was not his fault, he is very sorry and very sure it won’t happen again and he helped put everything together again, and he has been reassured that no one died, miraculously[10].

But the important bit is that it didn’t happen.

*** For a being that some of the time is a snake, Crowley has way too much leg to fit into a tourist class plane seat, and he has time to complain about it at length during the 12 hours flight.

You see, due to the intrinsic nature of airlines, miracling two last-minute first-class plane tickets, does not mean that those two first-class seats actually exist in that flight.

The fact that Crowley was responsible for making flying a terribly uncomfortable ordeal for the masses, was an irony lost on him.

So was the fact that he was directly contributing to the flight attendant’s path to sainthood, attained by her infinite patience.

________________________

[1]Except that, in fact, none of them did anything.

[2] The money was fake, but the nurse deserved it.

[3] Yeah, neither I know what Crowley was expecting to happen.

[4] If he’d had the time to pay attention to these things, Hoshino Katashi-san (CEO of his father-in-law’s company and absent but demanding parent) would had made an issue out of the kendo instructor being British. Fortunately, not only he never asked who was teaching his son, but the instructor wasn’t even really British in the first place, nor Japanese as Hoshino-san would preferred, nor anything, simply because the instructor wasn’t born in any country, or region, or geographic zone, as he had been brought into existence by Divine Will before the Creation, and he has been issued the physical form he inhabited after a long and tedious bureaucratic process, and he very much prefers to never have to go through it again, thank you.

[5]After noticing the money she had been paid with was fake, the nurse took a very pragmatic decision by taking the extra baby she found herself with to an adoption agency for rich people, where she received a quite large “fee”. This inspired her to a change in careers and became a full time “recruiter” for the agency, until it was closed under investigations for human trafficking.

[6]Not literally. The paper archive was burnt in a freak accident which was in no way caused by infernal agents with no knowledge about electronic databases.

[7]What they don’t know is that, soon enough, Shige-chan starts picking up things for his brother too when they are not looking. Maybe this is the reason why the brothers built extraordinarily strong immune systems and rarely get sick, maybe it is the other way around. I’m betting in the later.

[8]So did the discreet background check they did(a) on Reigen to make sure nothing untoward would happen. It also revealed that the man had his driving licence and an updated certification in first aid, making him qualified enough to take up child-care professionally.

[8.a] A leftover form their youth, before they decided to use their skills in a more legitimate manner as “cybersecurity”.

[9]With the support of loving family and friends, not that it lessens his effort in any way, but it is nice to mention it and Shigeo likes be reminded of it, too.

[10]But not a god as in God, more like a god as in the inaccurate translation of kami in Shintoism. Unbeknownst, back then, to Dimple, had he succeeded in making a god out of Shigeo, the results could had been less like the Emperor (like he envisioned) and closer (but not quite) to the actual Almighty.

[11]This is still being debated by the people in the known.

[delicatefury]

October 15th - Random thoughts from another temporary LCS

Same town different coffee shop. I like the food here more, but the coffee at the other place is definitely better (even if they make their own syrups here). So this is the breakfast place™, and that’s the writing place™. Atmosphere-wise, they’re different but I like both.

—————-

This week I turn 30. My BFF (the one I actually live near. The other’s still in Hawaii) wants to go out to celebrate. I wonder if I can get her to go to the vintage wine bar... We’re easing back into an... active? Friendship. Not that we’re not still super close. But when you only see each other a few times a year, conversations tend to default to “what’s happened since I saw you last?” Events, y’know? So now we’re kinda easing back into the stupid wonderful friendship of seeing each other at least twice a month if not more. So now we actually have room to talk about stupid important shit like dreams ambitions current events griping about life family pets lack of love life philosophy fandom do you still want to read my novel you can crash on my couch if you need a night or two away look at my stupid cat you have to tell me when you get a puppy i want to spoil it so much.

———————-

This week TDPL turns 2. I’m at 5 chapters. Still. I know. I think I’ve maybe updated once this entire year. My goal had been a chapter a month. Then 4 chapters a year. Then an average of 3. I’m not even gonna try to give a timeline at this point. I think maybe when my days are busier, I might have an easier time writing.

Currently, I haven’t gotten much writing done due to “guilt from not having a job”. Which is easing now that the job search is starting to bear fruit. Makes me feel creative. Now if only i had a place to work at home...

——————

My interview is Friday. I need to go buy a new suit (I lost weight in the five years since I bought my first interview suit and it is obviously bad-fitting now. Pencil skirts aren’t meant to sit on the hips), new heels (mine are at least 8 years old), and practice my interview questions. My aunt has been amazing for that so far. She hires people for her company all the time, so she knows what’s up.

I’m struggling on the “five years” question. Y’know, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I... am not an ambitious person. And I feel like it’s a question to make sure you’re “driven”. I’m not driven in that I’m not motivated by my own status and success. I’m motivated on getting the... well, on getting the issue solved. I want to rise exactly as high as I need to be to most effectively get problems fixed and the work done. I’m not gunning for Partner (though that would be nice) or VP or Lead on a case. I want to be able to put my skills to use. And if doing so means I take those positions, than that’s where I want to be. How do I explain that in a way that impresses hiring partners?

Personal ambitions? I want a quiet, simple, fulfilled life. I want to be useful. But I also kinda sorta want to own a yarn store? Or coffee shop? Or book store? A place that I can make cozy and indulge in my great loves and help other people discover those simple wonderful things?

I want to finish writing and publish a book.

But I’m good at being a lawyer. Crazy good. Lawfully good. And I like the challenge too. So it’s not like I don’t want to be a lawyer in 5 years. It’s just... I have a kinda see where life takes me approach sometimes.

_____________

NaNoWriMo starts in a little over 2 weeks. No clue what I want to write about. No clue if I’ll have no time to participate or too much time.

I think... I think if I can brainstorm enough and research enough, I might cheat a little and do a rewrite of my one finished novel. Because the first draft is terrible and focuses almost entirely on a romance that is central but a subplot at best. Which means I got lost somewhere and need to buckle down and rediscover the actual story I want to tell and whether that needs to be one book or two or three.

Ugh. I love my BFF who lives here, but the BFF in Hawaii is the one who’s always been involved with my writing endeavors. And it’s just not the same discussing said things over phone and/or skype as it is talking it out in person. Oh well. I’ll figure something out.

________

The attempts to be social have not born fruit. Mainly because there’s nothing going on right now in the alumni association or the the bar association, though the local NaNoWriMo chapter is ramping up. Problem? It’s in the city, and right now the city is a 45 minute drive for me. If I get a job soon, it won’t be so bad because 1) my job will be in the city and I don’t mind a 45 minute commute for work, and 2) I’ll just do things after work. But right now it’s a pain to drive that far on my own for just a 1-2 hour thing.

But I did get drinks with the BFF this weekend. Next weekend, though, I’m babysitting my nieces and nephew so literally everyone else in my family can go to an event. Because I got lost in the shuffle of coordinating said event and my older sister assumed that one of us younger siblings would be available and didn’t bother finding a babysitter.

Love her, but really? Anyway, since I wasn’t even aware that there were plans for this weekend to begin with (mom swore she told me, but then younger sis reminded her that was our brother they talked to), I decided to just take one for the team. Eh, who wants to risk awkward conversations with people from high school anyway? I think I’ll wait until I’m employed again and not just tagging along with my parents at 30.

—————

Researching local law is fun. Since I’m doing this for my own potential side-business, I at least don’t have to worry about ethical issues of practicing law without a license (a common saying I’ve run into while researching where the line is: You can always file your own paperwork). I have my license for the state next door. I won’t be licensed for this state (where the farm’s located) until sometime next year.

But the farm’s in an unincorporated part of the county (duh. Not many farms within city limits), so I have to go all the way to actual county zoning code to find the answers I need. There’s no convenient website for these questions like there are for municipalities. While anything I do would have to wait until I at least sit for this state’s bar next July (my 3rd license, but whatever. I’m still a baby lawyer so I can’t just skip the stupid test yet) to be distributed, I’m thinking about putting together a little packet to help other farmers and “unincorporated” (read: country) folks in the county out when it comes to expanding their businesses or pursuing a new line of revenue.

Because the county zoning code is 214 pages and written in legalese. That’s not even touching on other state and county business law questions that crop up. Most people out here assume you can do whatever you can on your own land, especially if it’s zoned for agriculture, and especially since most locals aren’t gonna report you for doing what you want on your own property (because they also assume you can do what you want so long as it’s not hurting anyone/running afoul of the EPA). Probably because their parents and grandparents were able to just start businesses with little interference...

But Dad’s got quite a few stories of people gettting blindsided and unknowingly racking up pretty big fines because, as I said above, there aren’t exactly any easy to understand or easy to access resources for the unincorporated areas of the county.

——————

Dragalia lost is a better game than it has a right to be.

______________

It’s about 11, and I’m trying to avoid “Yapping Dog Syndrome” (telling someone your plans appears to be negatively correlated to the likelihood of executing said plans), but I think I might still list them here. (Convincing my family that it will help me if I don’t actually tell them what I intend to do for the day is gonna take some work....).

So, on the agenda:

Depending on if my Mom texts me before I leave, I’m gonna go pick up some legal pads on my way home. You don’t realize how much you miss something until you don’t have it anymore, and legal pads are a boon for researching. I love my moleksines but they’re definitely better suited for brainstorming/writing then idea development/research. Frankly? Between the ipad, print-outs, and books, they get in the way.

I’m gonna spend about an hour or two on the municipal code/etsy policies.

I need to update my cover letter and send it to at least 2 places. Including that charity.

I’m gonna work on my nephew’s blanket. He’s 2. There are literally no excuses. Also, I can’t move onto new projects until I finish it. Including the new baby’s blanket, socks, my own winter gear, and a ton of started but left unfinished stuff for the rest of the family.

Cleaning up my room. It’s... untidy. I mean, most of that’s not my fault. The room was general storage for Mom’s massive project of cleaning out the attics (yes. Plural. We use the undereaves of the house for storage. I’m 98% certain there’s nothing in the actual above-the-second-story attic. Also, the attics contain things going back to Dad’s childhood). So there’s boxes and boxes of stuff. Mom and Dad’s winter clothes, wrapping paper, seasonal decorations, enough musical instruments for a blue-grass/jazz fusion band (sax, trombone, trumpet, banjo, electric guitar, electric bass, drums, keyboard, acoustic guitar x2...), and toys from our childhood that Mom and my big sis want easy access to for the nieces and nephew. Who do indeed love said old toys (though the nephew’s favorites are actually Dad’s old die-cast tractors. Dad has mixed feelings about letting a 2 year old play with what are technically antiques.)

She’s gone through a lot of it. Like, I’ve got room for my bed, dresser, a mini living room for our gaming consoles (I told you it’s a big room. It takes up about half of the upstairs. I shared it with both sisters growing up. We each had our own mini-room in a corner and a shared area by the walk-in closet) and space for the cats’ stuff, but half the room is still packed with junk and the occasional box crosses over into my living space.

Anyway, Mom should have an answer for me for the legal pads soon, so I’ll be heading out.

I might have something for TDPL’s 2 year anniversary on Thursday, but don’t hold me to it.

[tuneyouout]

Five days short of exactly a year since my last real update makes sense when you understand the kind of year 2020 has been. It’s honestly comical that I ended up with a dream weekend job just 6ish months before the global pandemic that crippled the U.S. due to flat out selfish incompetence. I don’t need to update on that saga, but my personal relationship to it has been on both extremes.

First, I am lucky. So lucky. Beyond motherfucking lucky. I feel like I’m the 1%. I’m not, but not acknowledging this luck would be bullshit. While millions and millions of Americans don’t have a job, I’ve managed to maintain 2. I live in fear of my Monday-Friday getting canned in normal life, but even we have (so far) survived because the world will always need advertising. Heh. People may not have money to buy things but companies will keep advertising to whoever the fuck does and when I’m getting necessary insurance out of it, I have to oblige. Getting to work from home has been a dream come true. My mental heath, from this protocol alone, has been better than I can remember since I started working almost a decade ago. I thought an insular office gig was my ticket to less aggravation, but that wasn’t even close to true the last 5+ years. Working from home and not having to hear/avoid conversations and personalities? Now that’s where it is for me! Either way, all of this has put some things into perspective, and while I detest this job, I might have to try harder to make it a career. Anything that lasts a pandemic in the safest way possible isn’t anything for me to snark at. Not quite as much, at least.

I love the Gallery with all my heart and I’ve thought about quitting it every single day since April. Had I never gotten it, I wouldn’t have hesitated giving up LA all this time, helping extensively with the mortgage and saving on gas and miles. Instead, having it meant deciding how often I’d trek home to the desert while continuing to pay for an apartment I stay in half the time I should as if it’s my personal AirBnb. In April, 2 weeks into quarantine (not quite appropriate since people didn’t) lockdown (nope) pandemic, my mom had what me, her, and her primary doctor believe was a mini-stroke, contrary to the neurologist’s findings. It was fucking scary there for about a month. I no longer see the cognitive issues that devastated me at the time, but she has some odd physical issues that coincidentally came along as if unrelated. We’ll never really know. She has to work through the holidays before going out again for some procedures and I’m terrified for her to be at work but I think it’s okay now, she’ll make it. Staying home with her for a couple weeks and going to doctor appointments were the first weekend’s I’d taken off from the Gallery. After that, my schedule was draining for the next 6-8 weeks till I felt okay staying in LA. Working 7 days a week is already a crazy thing to do, now factor in driving from 630-830pm Friday and Sunday. I still do that some weeks, but far less often. I was really fucking losing it for a while on those drives.

I stay grateful as fuck for the Gallery, though. Having an online store setup for over a decade and shipping out orders in-house made it fine for us to not be open for customers or openings. There are less fun things to look forward to but they come in surprise waves; catching up with a favorite customer coming to pick-up orders, my boss getting an insight into my pop-punk roots, my manager being too similar to me that we have very real talks and she’s a friend, helping PW himself load paintings into his Porsche SUV after he’s watched me toss garbage into the dumpster, a discount on the flyest fucking Fresh Prince print, getting paid for a holiday I never would’ve worked on anyways. To be fair, we shut down in the middle a great show right before I was going to work a night with Jensen and Paul Sheer, right after Jack Quaid popped in, so every little oddball thing is a treat. My last post was from the night with Weird Al! And that was before he came in that Sunday and was the kindest absolute legendary icon you could hope for. Some of these moments are superficial, but they are mine to cherish and I do, I hold them close. In a year where you have to seek out good things, my plate is full and I’m grateful.

I don’t have any big moves planned. I’m soaking up loving my work lives and LA roommate and being home in the desert and not living in traffic and fomo that makes me want to kill myself and insecurity. I feel guilty about how bad life is for other people and I do a lot of work to compartmentalize how fortunate I am in this bizarre moment while giving money and goods I can to places I know are doing the work on street. It’s weird to feel the best you ever have while the world is on fucking fire.

[fluentlanguage]

#clearthelist March2018: Update On My Welsh Language Progress

Welcome to a new kind of blog post here on Fluent - I’ve long been aware that my last personal language update was about a year ago and this blog should include more of that good stuff. So this month, I am joining Clear The List, a monthly language strategies update.

You may have heard me talk to Lindsay about it on the Fluent Show - Clear The List is open to everyone and gives us support and accountability by sharing regular language learning goals and stories.

Every month, I set my goals using the Language Habit Toolkit worksheets and I put them up behind my computer screen to keep them in mind. And this month, I had a LOT of them in Welsh. The mindset was not to expect too much from myself, but to remember the direction I was aiming for.

What Happened in March 2018?

Up to the 11th of March, my working life was dominated by sharing and co-running the absolutely wonderful Women in Language conference. If you were there, you’ll know that we had a great time.

Click here to read my full debrief of Women in Language, which includes

the 5 most important lessons I learnt at the conference

some behind the scenes details

tips for you on what to do if you also want to be a speaker

lessons learnt on what we’ll do differently next time.

Special Guests

Right after the conference I experienced another unusual week with lots of spoken German as my parents came to visit me in Canterbury. We had a great time pottering around and I did my usual interpreting job and listened to my husband’s German.

If you are visiting Canterbury and want to practice your German on a city tour, do give me a shout through the contact page.

Highlight: A visit to an English winery, showing me that I know more winemaking vocab than I expected. My parents are winemakers, so this always seems to happen when they’re around.

One more unusual event was the news that my favourite ever English teacher had passed away. He was one of a few English teachers who influenced and inspired me as a teenager, spoke lots of English in class, and shared the literature he loved. What a reminder to appreciate those who inspire us.

The Fluent Show

March marked one month since the Creative Language Learning Podcast became the Fluent Show. Thank you so much for listening!

Here’s my favourite episode from this month: In Language, Are Apps All Amazing? Are All Apps Amazing?

My Welsh Goals For March 2018

With so much going on, did I even get ANY language study done?

Contact Goal

On an everyday basis, I have one important goal: Have contact with my target language. So I have a lot of mini-sessions on Duolingo, Clozemaster, with flashcards, with vocab lists. I read tweets in Welsh, look out for books, anything. All these different strategies add up to consistent slow progress, but they are the basis for all other goals.

I track my contact with Welsh using the Streaks app on my iPhone. In March, I logged 22 days of contact.

Here are the Path Goals I set, and how it went:

Listening

Watch S4C every other day for 10 minutes: Did this about three times. I’m not sure my devices have S4C set up to be accessible as easily as possible. Also, 10 minutes is an awkward length for a TV show. I did watch some YouTube clips, so I’ll take that into account as a goal format.

Listen more when I’m having real conversations Listening is the conversation habit I always need to bear in mind. I had one tutor conversation in Welsh this month, and I did shut up and listen to her a little more than usual. A good job with room for improvement.

Transcribe 1 Song from Listening What was I thinking? Not really a goal I’ll go back to.

This month, I resubscribed to the Pigion podcast and listened to the weekly episodes. I discovered that they provide a vocab list with each episode and reviewed the vocab before I start the episode.

Speaking

I wanted to work through the Sylfaen (Foundation Level) exam questions to practice speaking at a higher level, but found the exam paper so boring that I never went back to it. But on the positive side, I feel confident that I could tackle all of the questions on it, so I’m now definitely on that level or even further ahead.

My other goal was to get to 30 minutes all-Welsh conversation, so my tutor session was a 60 minute time slot, and we had nearly a full hour of Welsh conversation. Very exciting! ✅ I also got to the halfway point on Say Something in Welsh level 2.

Reading

Read articles or 1/2 book page in Welsh every 2 days. The goal here was to acquire new vocabulary, and build up my reading capacity to “more than a tweet”. I don’t think I read enough, partly because I don’t know where to find easy Welsh articles online.

Writing

My goal was to write 1/2 a page and share it with my tutor 3 times. This is where the MAGIC happened. Inspired by one of the talks at Women in Language, my writing practice evolved to include poetry in my target language. It’s really fun - one of the best ways I’ve found to use Welsh creatively.

I haven’t shared with my tutor yet, but I did post the poetry on Instagram with #languagpoems and I’ll keep going.

My other goal was to complete Chapters 7-9 in my Grammar exercise book - I’m halfway through chapter 8, so that one’s trucking along.

Goals For April 2018

In Welsh: My listening skills are a little behind and I don’t understand as much as I would like to, so the focus will again be on this core skill so I can get into a routine.

My goals in Welsh are:

Have 3 natural conversations with my tutor/exchange partner and listen carefully: My next tutor session is already booked so I reckon I can smash this one and I’ll continue aiming for 45-60

Practice Welsh listening by playing with no-subtitle TV, and reviewing the Pigion podcast vocab before I listen: These are about listening comprehension, the area I need to improve right now.

Write a longer Welsh poem and continue playing around with different poetry formats: Last month I tried a Haiku. Maybe this month I’ll attempt poetry that rhymes. I’m loving my poetry focus this month and am also reading more of it in English and German.

Finish my easy reader novel and read all of the latest Lingo Newdyy magazine - these are all offline, can anyone recommend easy Welsh websites?

Book a day in Wales: I keep looking at this list of courses and not booking, even though they’re so cheap. Time to dive in!

One Last Thing: Other Languages

A post shared by Kerstin Cable (@kerstin_fluent) on Mar 2, 2018 at 9:15am PST

This month, I also dabbled in Swedish and spoke a lot of French. I’m still on the hunt for my new language to play with.

Swedish was the first language in which I've tried an official Memrise course and I'm so impressed. WAY better than the usual.

So now we’re caught up, let me assure you that future Clear The List articles will be a little shorter. I will continue setting goals using the framework of 4 core skills, and I always use the Language Habit Toolkit to set and track quality goals that will challenge me without driving me crazy.

Is there anything you’re curious about?

How was your month?

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If you want to join the linkup and share your own goals for the month, hop on to Clear The List with Lindsay Williams and Shannon Kennedy. Would love to see what you’re up to!

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

St. Valentines Day [EN]: Chapter 4

Two months has passed as they continued to work together until they finish the movie and gained so much awards and credit.

"Woohoo!!! Guys! Let's party! We all deserve it for all the hard work!" Director said.

"I think you guys need to talk about something. I don't know but while working with the both of you, we all feel sexual tension in the air." The celebrity Catherine said to Gisela when she noticed that Dorian is eyeing her from afar.

"H-he thinks he's so hot that he can get everyone. Though he told me he had indecent proposals in the past, 3 SMS, 4 Calls, 6 DMs, and 2 missed calls... He's not that hot." Gisela told the actress.

"Woah, so updated, are we?" Catherine gave Gisela a knowing look and a knowing smile.

"Can we talk?" After the Dorian's invitation, he and Gisela went to the nearest park.

"Whenever, I see that sand box, I remember Plage Solitaire. The most peaceful beach on the planet." Gisela just nodded to what Dorian said.

"I-im sorry." They both said in unison.

Then, they laughed a bit with embarrassment.

"L-listen-..." They said again in chorus.

"You go first." Dorian said.

"No. You should go first." Gisela said.

"Uhm, here you go... C-can we be together?" Dorian asked Gisela who shed tears immediately with the question.

"You don't understand. You don't wanna be with someone so-called 'Damaged Good'. I don't want you to regret it. You don't wanna be with me. You don't need to due to pity. You don't-..." Gisela's anxiety is overwhelmingly obvious.

"We do not know those things yet. Those are 'What ifs', you're far from a 'Damaged Good'. For me, you're a beautiful 'Work-in-progress' and hell, despite the controversies I had, I'm still in good condition, whatever you're going through, I will go through it with you. Whatever you're thinking, I'll help you overcome it. If there's someone who can try and understand you, that's me. For me, this isn't the time to waste time and fool around, this is not like the roles I play, this is real. You are real. I don't care how hard it is but no matter what, I wanna be a part of something so beautiful... A part of your plans in the future. Please. For old times' sake, let me be with you all the way." Gisela, lost for words nodded crying as Dorian also shed tears.

"Gisela, thank you. I love you..." Dorian whispered to Gisela as he caress the woman's hair, embracing her long and tight enough to make her feel safe.

"Let me drive you home." Dorian told Gisela.

They both started living under one roof at Dorian's condominium unit.

One morning, as they're lying on the bed, Dorian hesitantly asked about Gisela's list...

"Dear Piggy... A-are you still gonna continue with that list?" She showed him the list seeing number '6' crossed out.

"Back in the beach, I haven't really finished the list yet. Now, it's done. I actually skipped on number '6' and went straight to number 7, 8, 9 and 10. 'Cause you're not just any random guy... Technically you're my little Dino, but... You're the one." Dorian checked the list out due to his curiosity.

1. Earn a lot for the future. ✓

2. Quit the medical industry. ✓

3. Spend more time with the only family - Merian. ✓

4. Finish writing my novels and posting it to my writing/social platforms. ✓

5. Buy a house in Plage Solitaire at a chosen paradise to 'live and die' for. ✓

6. Have virginity taken by a random guy and leave him clueless afterwards. *Skip this part.* ✗✗

7. Get a writing job. ✔

8. Take care and fully pay insurance. ✅

9. Have the one closest to my heart, help me choose a casket and designs for the tomb.

Plus, choose a church for the blessing and perfect spot in the graveyard/cemetery.

10. Chose a great necrological service speaker. I want a great Eulogy.

Dorian just looked carefully at Gisela's face and embraced her tightly.

Then, she spoke...

"I know. I'm a weirdo." Gisela told Dorian.

"Piggy... You're kinda like scaring me with these things but if this is the way I can be with you, I'll understand, process and digest every single bit of it. I'm not even gonna ask you why you made this list in the first place but if you're ready to not give up on life, I'm gonna go with you if you decided to get yourself checked." Dorian said.

"I'll tell you when the time comes..." Gisela said.

The couple decided to go shopping.

No ordinary shopping but he's only doing it for Gisela even if he doesn't wanna consider the thought.

"You know what? I think this one will be okay. Ah! I know! Maybe I can also have a reservation my own. Same color as I've chosen for you. So when the time comes... We're still gonna go as a couple. Even if it's the after-life." Dorian joked a bit.

"Don't. Even though, couple shirts, couple rings and other couple stuff might be cute, I don't want you to think about a couple casket. You're a born villain. And villains don't die unless it's passed hundreds of years already. Plus, they don't even age. Time flies for them gracefully like a bloodline of a vampire." Gisela joked him back.

The next stop is to the cemetery.

They're choosing tomb designs.

"This is perfect, 'In loving memories of...-" Gisela was cut of.

"We can choose the designs Piggy but it's good to personalize those messages." Dorian said as he wrote things down on a paper.

You have lived a life full of love.

Soon, we'll meet and love again up above.

To the place where there is never-ending peace.

Love,

Your Dorian

Gisela smiled at Dorian and they went to the cemetery.

Gisela insisted to choose a spot.

"This spot is nice. The one near the tree." She said.

"I would already reserve those two spots next to each other. So that I can lie down with you forever when the time comes..." Dorian said Gisela shed tears and hugged Dorian.

"I don't wanna take you in this journey with me. You're not welcome this early to where I'm heading. Sorry for being so difficult but thank you for having number 9 checked off my list." Gisela said as she embraces her boyfriend.

A day after Dorian's shoot, he went home to Gisela and the house was empty.

Their things are scattered all over the floor.

The entire house was messy.

But...

There are no traces of Gisela everywhere.

She's missing.

"My dearest, why end up dodging the bullet once more? Running away and hiding again on me like that." Dorian whispered.

He searched everywhere for her and in a place he thought Gisela would go to.

"She's not here. She went through a deep trauma after she saw her parents died in the car accident. I know my cousin can be a handful, but please, don't give up on her." Merian said.

Dorian just nodded and headed off.

Dorian did not bring his car along to find Gisela in the hardest and most hidden places in the city.

As he was walking along the subway...

He found a cying woman.

With hands on her head and her hair covering her face.

Her hairs are tangled and all over the place.

Her skin's full of dirt.

When Dorian tried to look at the woman's face, he was shocked.

It was Gisela.

He brought the woman home and cleaned her up.

She fell asleep crying.

As soon as the woman woke up, she said she's gonna use the toilet.

"You sure you can stand?" Dorian asked. The woman just mindlessly nodded.

Dorian thought to check on Gisela when she's taking too long.

He did not lose hope until this sight.

He found Gisela lying unconsciously on the bathroom floor.

"Gisela!!!" He lifted the woman and brought her to the nearest hospital.

Dorian waited for hours for a doctor to come up to him and say that Gisela's okay.

"A-are you with her?" Dorian nodded as the doctor approached him.

"I'm doctor Ariel James Devant, Psychologist." The doctor introduced himself.

"We did not ask for a Psychologist, we need a Physician to have Gisela checked!!!" Dorian almost lost it.

"She's not physically sick. Not until now. We have pulled up a few counselling records of Gisela. In fact, I was her batchmate in Med-school, she quit and did not finish Med-school. So she just continued being a nurse. Because of her parent's car crash, her parents died in front of her in a car accident. She then became my first patient. I have checked on Gisela a few times and she never went back to the clinic afterwards. She's so indenial that something's physically wrong with her and insistent that she's nearing death, that she shuts down people who wanna have her checked by a professional or by any doctor. She has been diagnosed with constant fear of death that it lead to a severe case of anxiety." Doctor James said.

Dorian was not able to process what's happening and could not speak.

"People who has Thanatophobia, would not like to talk about death for it has caused them depression. On her case, it's different. For that's the only thing she wanna focus and talk about out of fear. Like her whole entire world revolves on the thought that she might, oh sorry, that she 'WILL' die. She already decided that for herself. Anxiety took a toll on her that her brain was mentally pausing because of too much stress, overwhelming worry, overthinking and unshown worry, sometimes this can cause nausea and problems with balancing." The same doctor continued talking.

"Maybe this is the reason why she 'slipped' in the bathroom. She lost consciouness in the bathroom because she might have hit her head on the floor. Now, there's internal bleeding, we need to have an operation ASAP to prevent brain mass. You have to prepare because the operation is risky, after that, she may go under a few days, weeks or even months in coma. Worst case is never to wake up." Another doctor spoke.

"My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is doctor Jessie Ulysis Voltaire. Neurologist and Physicist." He introduced.

After that, they all worked on Gisela's operation.

They spent hours to finish it and what they said was true...

Gisela fell into a coma for weeks now and counting.

Dorian held the woman's hand in his...

He got a Pig and a Dinosaur stuffed-toy that he put on the hospital bed beside her.

"Do you remember this Dear Piggy? You're Dinosaur's here to wake you up. You're my nurse. You shouldn't be lying there for a long time, at that bed. You're supposed to be the one who's taking care of me." Dorian said.

The woman was just unresponsive.

She was still deep asleep.

"You should have told me what you're going through. I should have understand. A-are you punishing me for loving you so much?" He said, sheding tears as he kissed the back of Gisela's hand.

[rainwashedhistory]

Quarantine Journal

Apparently I am incapable of maintaining a daily pace -- part of this is trying to fit ONE day in at a time and finish the day and then forgetting the next morning.  I'ma TRY to get back to it but let's go a little free-form right now.  Maybe I'll start posting weekly instead?  Today is 6/13.  Some shit's gone down.

Shawn, my old boss from WWP died.  I feel bad that I never got to tell him what he meant to me.  I wrote a pretty long memorial thing on insta/facebook.  I'ma repost it here too... with a couple, more honest updates.  Readmore at the end.

I'm planning to go up to Redding for Shawn's memorial right after Father's day.  Terrified of COVID but hey.  This only is going to happen once.  I'm gonna stay with my high school bestie, and hopefully see my friends Aleesha and Robyn, at least.  And get some chicken rolls.  The sushi place we used to go to is under new ownership buuuuuut.  And this will almost certainly be the last time in my life I'm ever going to go to waterworks park, so let's make it count, I guess?  I bought a cute romper onepiece swimsuit that hides a bit of the quarantine bod.

On the way to Redding, I am officially gonna hit up Liz's place!  I miss my girl. Need to meet Connor!

Stafford House is officially gone for good.  I have cleaned out my classroom.  There are rumblings that the school might be bought by another co. that wants to do more vocational training -- fingers crossed that happens and that I'll have a job there?  Yikes. Hello Future, indeed.  I also stole my CAE books.  Hell if I'm giving those back.  I also took my test binders and a few mini-whiteboards that Patti offered

There's been a ton of BLM protests here.  I feel guilty af that I haven't been to a single one or done much of anything -- I just don't feel safe doing so.  Both physically, at protests where cops are pretty openly inciting violence, and... situationally?  OANN is quartered here, and if my parents see me at one of them, I stg they'll kick me out of my place.  Things downtown are pretty boarded up.  And like I'd be donating but I need to fucking save my money because COVID relief unemployment is not gonna last forever.

I spent like 2 weeks not talking to mom.  Had a call with her a couple days ago, though, and it was... fine.  No major yelling about politics.  Phew.

Therapy... I went this week.  Meh.  I'm not sure it's helping all that much.  I really want to start going in person again, this teletherapy stuff is balls.

I've been applying to jobs.  It's the worst.  Especially because even though there are a handful of job postings, with COVID, who even knows what'll happen.  will schools reopen?  I should really start pouring myself into the online teaching stuff but so many sites make it so difficult.  I re-applied to ALI, god give me strength.  And I need to re-apply to Miramar.  SIGH.

I'm hanging out more and more (every saturday) with Ricky, Mat, Stazia, and Nick.  This is helping give me some balance.  And kitty time. Whenever their skittish cats come chill with me I feel blessed.

I killed my sourdough starter, somehow.  All orange tinged.  Nick gave me a new one (dried).  I built it back up and have since found a me hair, a cat hair, and a big ass bug in it.  WTF?  It still... looks good though?  Gonna give it a bit to see if it goes off, too.

Meals for this week incluced hot honey butter-glazed chicken, fettuccine pasta & mushrooms, and one-pan vegetable udon.  All three were good but not necessarily mind-blowing.  I probably should start food logging again?

Painted my nails all pride-y.  Will post a pic later.

Bought lighting for computer desk and bedroom, FINALLY

Cats seem mostly flea-free, though mimosa is still not sleeping on the bed like a psycho

FINALLY (like 8 months later) got my car engine steam cleaned, will try to get an appointment to get my engine checked before I try to drive up to fucking Redding

Got the prelim documents in for my RealID.  I need to get an appointment at the DMV but they're not scheduling them right now

School starts Monday. I am nooooot ready.

Mortgage is delinquent?  Inquiring about COVID relief stopped payment on our autopay and now things are all messed up.  SIGH I hope this doesn't go on my credit.

Haven't been walking nearly enough.  It's really hard to make myself shift into that again, and frankly I need to.  It's been three months since I've worked out at all.

Keeping up with RnM with Erica.... it's a fucking wild ride and I'm soooo glad she loves it as much as I do

Started playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey.  It's fun af, but also not like... engrossing like HZD was, which means I don't feel too cranky when I can't play.  holy SHIT the world is huge tho.  And gorgeous.  But again, maybe... too huge, and too samey-same.  I get that that's the region, but I loved how HZD changed so much depending on the area you were.  SPEAKING OF HZD, the news about H2FW came out and hooooly shit I am hyped.  We're going to Cali!

Here have some more mask GPOYs

Other stuff:

Temp still normal, in the high 97/low 98 range

RHR is hovering around 64-67

Steps have been in the 2-3000 range, yikes

Weather has been lovely, why am I not going out more???

Ok fam, that's it.  Time to shower, get dressed, and head over to R&M's for weekly mandated social time.

source

https://katalyst.livejournal.com/494991.html

Shawn, you were my first, and one of my best mentors. You promoted me to management when I was an anxious, terrified, by-the-book 18 year old who had absolutely no idea why she was even considered for the position. You had so much faith in me and my abilities and you were the most patient boss I have ever had -- you taught me every year, for years, how to start up the pumps again, until I literally could do it in my sleep, even now, over a decade later. You taught me how to fix almost anything in the park, and you never acted like there was anything I was too fragile or stupid to do -- even when others did.

You were tough, and I never wanted to get on your bad side... but you were also supremely kind -- I remember you yelling at almost everyone, at least once, except me. Even when I deserved it and I made mistakes that would cost the company money. I remember begging you to take it out of my paycheck and you just stopping and laughing and telling me it was okay, just not to do it again. I think you knew I would crumble, and all you ever wanted to do was build me up.

You knew the value, and the joy in a hard day's work... and you also knew how to take it easy, and that both are vitally important. I remember the day I slept straight through my alarm and you opened the whole park without calling me, just to give me a little break. I remember the way you taught me that management was never above any job -- if you expected your employees to do something, you'd always pitch in and show them that you weren't too good to clean a toilet, too. I'll never forget your 36 hour days, or your calling in well to work, or shiraz Saturdays. I desperately miss sitting in your office or up on the side of the river ride and eating pizza and talking. Everything I loved about Waterworks really came down to working with you and the community you helped foster there.

You taught me how to find my voice and stand on my own two feet in a job that I found utterly terrifying, after living with a family where I never had one. You were a second dad to me -- one who stuck up for me, who was always in my corner. I honestly don't think, if it weren't for you, that I would have found the confidence to pursue teaching. There is so much good in my life that you helped me reach for, and I will always be grateful.I'll be opening a big bottle of Yellowtail this Saturday in your honor. I miss you.