#mindspace!Pike

[okmcintyre]

#THE100MEME | 1/3 Recurring Quotes -"Here we go again"

[clarkgriffon]

GOD pike’s cameo in 6x09 gives me chills. michael beach is an other worldly actor.

[osleyakomwonkru]

How did you feel about the use of Pike rather than Lincoln (pretending it's a perfect world and Ricky would have come back) in Octavia's anomaly/mind space in regards to setting her back on the right track? (I realize this sort of pertains to Octavia but I'm curious about your thoughts on the use of Pike in this scene)

Well, first off, I don’t think Octavia was on the wrong track, save for her suicidal ideation, but Diyoza had already helped her deal with that, she didn’t need her mindspace to deal with it. I don’t think Octavia was wrong in season 5, I think everyone else was, and because they stymied her more reasonable efforts at winning the Valley, and betrayed her, that’s why they ended up in the shitstorm they did. If they’d worked with her from the beginning, they could’ve taken the valley with a minimum of casualties by the end of episode 8. But anyway.

So, with that out of the way, to Octavia’s actual mindspace adventure - this was her mindspace, not the Anomaly, the Anomaly info was in the green box, but there are shades of the Anomaly in her mindspace too - see the banners that should be Wonkru banners, but are in fact covered in Anomaly Stone glyphs. Also to note, it isn’t members of Wonkru viewing the arena - it is Eligius prisoners. Both things to analyze for later.

Octavia’s mindspace made me sad, to be honest. Because she’s been gaslit to high heavens by everyone she knows, and she believes all of these awful things about herself, and that’s reflected in her mindspace. She even blames herself for Earth being destroyed, when that was 100% McCreary. It makes me so sad for her, especially given that she still believes these things when she comes out of her mindspace, if her interactions with Bellamy are any indication.

Given the state of mind she’s in, Pike being the person who appears to her makes 100% sense. Because she sees him as her “start of darkness” as it were.

I don’t, or at least, not in the way she does. Killing him was *a* start of darkness for her, and it sent her down the spiral she went through in season 4, but I believe that winning the Conclave and taking command of the bunker helped her. She was healing. Life was getting better. We see that at the beginning of 5x02 - she’s training with Miller with a smile on her face, she’s flirting with Niylah over books, and so on. She’s content in a way she hasn’t been in months.

Then shit goes down, and she is the only one who can fix it. That’s a burden she has to bear, but you do what you have to. She was terrified about having to take on that burden, but it wasn’t impossible, not yet. Jaha had given her a blueprint for how she could make leadership work for her, and she did.

Then... the Dark Year happened. And *this* was the start of her second round of darkness, because she was left to shoulder the burden of the Dark Year all on her own, abandoned by those she trusted, and left to run a failing bunker full of people she’d sworn to save by herself.

Anyway, I’ve ranted at length about how season 5 did Octavia dirty, and season 6 has continued that, so I’ll spare you those rants and you can just scroll back through my blog for, well, just about every post. Back to the mindspace.

Octavia and Pike do share some similarities. Other Octavia stans might hate me for it, but it’s the truth. They were both heavily traumatized by their experiences before taking on leadership (and for Octavia, while she was a leader), and that had a huge influence on how they made decisions. Neither one of them should have been leaders given the trauma that they had to deal with and heal before they could do that in a healthy way. But the difference is Pike had a choice. He was an adult who could have recognized his trauma for what it was and stepped back, knowing he needed time to adjust to a new reality. Octavia didn’t have a choice. She tried to avoid power, she tried to delegate, but Indra and Gaia and the attitudes of Wonkru made it clear - she had to lead, otherwise everything would go to shit. She was a traumatized teenager made to shoulder the burdens of what remained of the human race, and then when the bunker was open, give her people what she’d promised them, no more no less.

The other difference between Octavia’s time in leadership and Pike’s was that Octavia had to lead in a zero-sum game. Pike didn’t. Which means her choices, such as they were, were even more restricted. His weren’t. I don’t think it is fair to compare Pike and Blodreina. I also don’t think “killing” Blodreina was the solution (as in my post about Tragic Queens and Dark Sides, I believe what Blodreina needed was a hug and a welcome back into the Octavia mindfamily, as it were).

Now, the scene itself, despite all the above, was beautifully done. It is one of my favourite scenes of the season. I like that it also illustrates the difference between Octavia’s thinking and Clarke’s thinking. Clarke argues with herself (via her projections), Octavia talks to herself (via her projections). She doesn’t have the same kind of discord and disconnect in her mind as Clarke does. Instead Octavia takes this opportunity to talk through her problems and find solutions for them. Like I’ve said before (like in this post about Octavia and responsibility), Octavia is a responsible and reasonable person, given the space and time to work things out. Her mindspace gives her that.

Honestly, I don’t think Lincoln would have been suitable for this scene at all. She hasn’t departed from the principles that they both believed in. She’s just had to get blood on her hands to make them happen in zero-sum situations and Lincoln would understand that. There’s nothing he could add to this scene. It had to be an adversary - THE adversary, as it were - for her to be able to have the anger and soul-bearing and “who do I want to be” discussion with herself that she needed.

So, TL;DR: I think Pike was a good choice. Marie and Michael knocked that scene out of the park, and it is one of my top five scenes for the season.

[the100tagawards]

The 100 Tag Awards Results

Hi everyone! First of all, I just wanted to say thank you for participating and taking the survey. Secondly, thank you for your patience. I had never done something like this before and it turned out that asking so many fill in the blank questions was quite more work than I anticipated and took me a lot longer to filter through and figure out how to present the info. Hopefully you’ll feel the answers are presented well enough to understand. 

Without further ado, here are the results: 

Section One: Multiple Choice Questions

First Season Watched Live: 

1st Place: Season 7

Tied for 2nd Place: Season 1 and Season 5

Favorite Season of the 100:

1st Place: Season 3

2nd Place: Season 2

Season that Dropped the Ball:

1st Place: Season 7

2nd Place: Season 3

Favorite Lever Pull: 

1st Place: Season 2 - Killing everyone inside Mount Weather

2nd Place: Destroying the City of Light

Best Villain and Villain Arc: 

1st Place: Josephine Lightborne

2nd Place: Octavia

Favorite Twisted Moment:

1st Place: Clarke mercy-killing Finn

Tied for 2nd: Bellamy’s Death and Diyoza sacrificing herself to the bioweapon to save her daughter and others

Favorite Earth Location:

1st Place: Polis Tower

Tied for 2nd: Shadow Valley and the Delinquents Camp

Favorite Planet

1st Place: Earth

2nd Place: Sanctum

Favorite Space Ship or Vessel: 

1st Place: The Arc

Tied 2nd Place: Eligius IV and Polaris

Most Impactful Betrayal

1st Place: Lexa betraying Clarke at the mountain

2nd Place: Bellamy in season 7

Biggest Flirt

1st Place: Murphy

Tied for 2nd Place: Raven and Bellamy

Class Clown

1st Place: Murphy

2nd Place: Jasper Jordan

Most Athletic

1st Place: Octavia 

2nd Place: Echo

Most likely to be on Catfish

1st Place: Octavia

Tied for 2nd place: Jasper and Jordan

Prankster 

1st Place: Jasper

2nd Place: Murphy

Never Single

Tied for 1st: Miller and Bellamy

2nd Place: Octavia

Best Dancer

1st Place: Clarke

2nd Place: Raven

Most Gullible

1st Place: Jordan Green

Tied for 2nd Place: Monty and Bellamy

Most Opinionated:

1st Place: Clarke

2nd Place: Raven 

Most likely to put something off till tomorrow

1st Place: Murphy

2nd Place: Jasper

Most Likely to be Instagram Famous

1st Place: Lexa

2nd Place: Octavia

Most Likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize

1st Place: Raven

2nd Place: Monty

Most likely to have their own talk show

1st Place: Murphy

Tied for 2nd Place: Emori and Roan

Best Laugh

1st Place: Bellamy

2nd Place: Raven

Shout out to those who answered: “Who laughs on this show” and “Do they ever get to?”

Best Smile

1st Place: Bellamy

2nd Place: Octavia

Most Likely to Never Change

1st Place: Clarke

2nd Place: Indra

Most Changed

1st Place: Octavia

2nd Place: Murphy

Favorite Bellarke Moment

1st Place: The CPR Scene in 6x10

2nd Place: The hug in “Human Trials”

Favorite Clexa Moment

1st Place: Their First Kiss

2nd Place: When Lexa swore fealty to Clarke

Favorite Marper Moment

1st Place: Their Video at the end of S5, showing they lived happily together

2nd Place: Specifically, the pregnancy part of their video. 

Favorite Memori Moment

1st Place: Their relationship in Season 7

2nd Place: the million small moments throughout the entire show 

Note: 2nd place answer is both specific and non-specific. Other than focusing on season 7, the favorite moments for Memori were varied and encompassed their entire relationship.

Favorite Becho Moment

1st Place: Season 7 Flashback

2nd Place: being happy on the Ring

Favorite OT3 

1st Place: Raven, Emori, Murphy

2nd Place: Jasper, Monty, Raven

Favorite OTP Not Mentioned in Previous Questions

1st Place: Octavia and Lincoln

2nd Place: Murphy and Raven

Section Two: Favorite Moments

Next section is focused on favorite moments of various characters. I ended up just writing out the trends I saw for each of these. So most answers are summarized and not direct quotes of answers

Favorite Clarke Moments:

Her Season 2 Arc--escaping Mt. Weather with Anya; when she pulled the lever. When she stayed on Earth to save her friends. Insisting on finding a better way in 6x11. Kept fighting, kept bearing the burden. Being unable to shoot Bellamy in season 4. Entering the City of light in Season 3. Killing the panther. Prioritizing her friends and keeping her humanity. Her immaculate bi representation. Her arc as Wanheda. Her relationship with Madi especially in Shadow Valley

Favorite Bellamy Moments:

His Season 2 Arc; being an inside Man at Mt. Weather and pulling the lever with Clarke. Going against Clarke and him saving Clarke in season 5. Season 1 Bellamy. 

Favorite Lexa Moments:

When she changed to Blood Must Not Have Blood and said that Love is not a weakness; standing up to her people and fighting for a better society. Sneaking intel from Jaha and Kane in the cell. Bowing to Clarke. The fight with Roan. Throwing the Azgeda Ambassador over the balcony. “I will always be with you” 

Favorite Octavia Moments:

Stopping the Last War, learning to fight with Indra, winning the Conclave, telling Jaha she’s not hiding anymore, her peaceful time on skyring, being able to admit she was wrong--making mistakes but never giving up, killing Pike, understanding why Clarke had to kill her brother, 

Favorite Raven Reyes Moments:

Getting spacekru to the ring, her journey with her physical pain and deciding life was worth living even if it was painful, bringing herself back to life in the lab to get rid of Allie in her mind, all her sciency scenes, fixing the drop ship in season 1, hacking into the city of light, finally understanding Clarke’s choices, 

Favorite John Murphy Moments:

Staying behind with Raven and the prisoners, saving the kids in 7x5, his relationship with Emori especially his love for her and dying with her, being in the desert with Jaha, showing that people can change and become better people, reaching a breaking point in the bunker, saving Clarke and Bellamy during the red sun, being the Cockroach King

Favorite Nate Miller Moments:

His relationship with Jackson (kissing him, telling him he loves him);  stealing things from the guard in 6x11; saving everyone from the bomb, being hilarious, interacting with his dad

Favorite Monty Green Moments:

Killing his mom to save O, the algae garden on the ground, finally having peace. When he said "If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on earth then maybe we don't deserve it" in Season 5. Saving everyone, Striving for better and Having influence on their decision after he died, When he said he ate a pine cone because it told him to, his entire arc

Favorite Harper Moments:

Being happy with monty, making gardens with monty, having a fresh attitude, knowing there are some things worth living for, being constantly horny for monty, her in season 3

Favorite Echo Moments:

Her origin story, refusing to turn in the defectors, taking care of Hope, Stabbing the mechanic in season 5, being who she wanted to be not who she was groomed to be, her arc in season 7, her arc in season 6

Favorite Lincoln Moments:

Helping and sacrificing himself for Octavia and others, His relationship with Octavia, showing that just because someone is different doesn’t make them bad, Coming back from being a reaper, his fine ass, Realizing peace is possible and fighting for peace

Favorite Jasper Moments:

Real and unromanticized mental health issues being depicted with his character, his happiness in various moments, pranking Clarke with the foam, his entire friendship with monty, leading the delinquents against Mount Weather, finding earth terrible but beautiful

Favorite Finn Collins Moment

Taking the fall for Raven as spacewalker, his death (turning himself in, saying thanks princes after Clarke stabs him

Favorite Gabriel Santiago Moment

Him and Josephine, Eating everything in season 7, his death, protecting madi from shedheida, first meeting Octavia

Favorite Emori Moments:

Her on the Ring, being Kaylee Prime, flying and landing the rocket, staying with the reactor, her entire character arc

Favorite Hope Moments:

Living with O on Skyring, getting together with Jordan, her scene with Dev

Favorite Jordan Green Moments:

Introducing himself to Clarke and Bellamy the first time, getting together with Hope at the end, coming up with a plan to save everyone with Raven

Favorite King Roan Moments:

Fighting Lexa, Being loyal to Lexa and not his mother, Fighting Luna, kidnapping Clarke, being brave

Favorite Madi Moments: 

Stabbing Sheidheda/Russell, Her leadership and actions as commander, her input to Clarke and Bellamy about the other. 

Favorite Wells Jaha Moments:

Taking the blame for Clarke’s fathers death to protect her relationship with her mom.  Being the only reasonable one on the ground in season 1 

Favorite Becca Moments: 

Her arc with creating and dispersing nightblood. Always trying to fix her mistakes. Causing the apocalypse because she was bored

Favorite Gaia Moments:

Her interactions with Madi, helping train her and helping her speak to commanders. Trying to kill blodreina. Her interactions with Indra. Showing to fight for what you believe in. Killing that guy from Bardo. 

Favorite Josephine Moments:

Literally all the mindspace scenes, Her love for Gabriel, Being a great villain, dancing in her room, pretending to be Clarke, when Bellamy speaks to Josephine in Trigedasleng and interacting with bellamy in the cave. Trying to kill Clarke. 

Favorite Abby Griffin Moments: 

Abby and Kane (the final goodbye, telling him she can’t be in the bunker). Abby and Raven’s relationship and redemption arc. Abby and Clarke (when Abby was a good mom or sacrificed to save Clarke and Madi). Telling off Russell. Her season 1 arc.

Favorite Marcus Kane Moments: 

His emotional death scene, That he died to save everyone and Indra stating the travelers passage afterward. Being a father figure and leader, especially to the delinquents and specifically to the Blakes. His ability to be diplomatic, becoming the ambassador, trying to stop Pike. 

Favorite Thelonious Jaha Moments:

His final death scene with Octavia, trying to give her advice on how to be leader and to take care of Ethan. Him coming to earth (the baby, the rocket). His relationship with murphy. 

Favorite Indra Moments:

Indra’s mentorship/scenes with Octavia and her partnership with Kane, helping him escape the bunker and arena. Taking command. Realizing love isn’t weakness. The final episode. Killing Sheidheda. 

Favorite Charmaine Diyoza Moments:

Her sacrifice to save her daughter and everyone else. Being a mom in general. Her wit and connection to the earth. Her redemption arc, fighting so hard to become better. Being stranded on skyring.  

Anyone Additional Not Already Mentioned

Luna - bringing a new perspective to things, her love for raven, and during the conclave Picasso the dog - A good boy Maya - a sweetheart Dev - brief appearance but impactful  Sheidheda - showcasing more grounder culture Anya - realizing an alliance was needed Ontari - her chaotic presence   Jackson - helping Madi in S7

Section Three: Shout outs to bloggers in the100 tag on Tumblr!

Please note, there was no actual consensus on these and the least amount of responses. So I am simply listing out all those named specifically for each category.

Favorite Fan Fiction Writer

pawprinter, coeurdeastronaute, The prose of night, chasethewindandtouchthesky, asroarke, kombellarke, The-infamous-w, Burninghoneyatdusk

Favorite Gif Creator

Clarkgriffon, skaikru-100

Favorite Picture Editor

Catherineavery, thesuperiorblake

Funniest Blogger

Robsheens, CommanderOswald, Incorrectthe100quotes, incorrect bellarke

Mx Congeniality

Nataskaar, Beliza

Chillest Blogger

Shialablunt, Sometimesrosy, thesuperiorblake

Thirstiest Blogger

Everyone in the tag

Hardest stan

Johnmurphyisbisexual, Changingthefairy_tale, blodreina-noumou

Best The100 Themed tumblr url

Johnmurphysass, Osleyakomwonkru, Icantlostyoutoo, bellarke, Raccoonhearteyes

Unbreakable Duo

Johnmurphysreddit and rosyrosalie

Most chaotic

Historyofbellarke,

Most off topic

johnmurphysreddit

Most Likely to Actually Survive the Apocalypse 

Sometimesrosy, clarkgriffon, thesuperiorblake

Well, if you made it through that--thank you! Again, thank you so much for your patience. I hope that you enjoyed seeing everyones answers and I hope that I’ll see you all still in the 100 tag rewatching the show sometime. :) 

[sometimesrosy]

With that quote you mentioned from wells, wasn't that from when jaha hallucinated him? I always thought those hallucinations/projections (like maya and monty in clarke's mindspace or pike in octavia's) were reflective of the character's own thoughts. So to me i saw it as jaha who said that, clarke who thought she was always hurting others (that's what maya said), etc. What about you

Hmm. That’s a fair point.

I feel like I always thought it was Wells who said something like that to Clarke, but I can’t find it.

Although Clarke said something similar to Lxa.

Clarke: Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?

I wonder if it was a theme of Clarke and Wells and something that they’d said before, so when Jaha thought of his son, he thought of words like that. 

[sonnestark]

I realized suddenly the other day that S3 and S7 seem to be the most widely disliked, and have similar issues/parallel plot points:

Way too many plot threads, most of which end up being revealed/greatly expanded upon at once



Murky character motivations due to rewrites/cut scenes

Sloppily done major character deaths



Bad pacing—in both seasons we seem to linger too long in some places and speed through others



Characters spending tons of time apart and major character relationships being seriously damaged (Bellamy and Octavia in S3, Bellamy and Clarke in S7) or otherwise altered



Multiple antagonists or conflicts all vying for limited screentime, which makes some or all of them feel relatively shallow (Bardo/Cadogan/Bellamy + Sheidheda + "the test"/the aliens + Nikki and the other prisoners + political destabilization in Sanctum in S7 vs. Azgeda + Pike/Bellamy + ALIE + Emerson + Roan/Ontari + political destabilization in Polis in S3) 



A similar "transcendence" option to escape pain at the end, except in S7 it's a good thing, plus a "mindspace" scene (the test vs. the city of light) both of which involve Clarke seeing some version of Lexa and reminding us that they were soulmates



Retconning or sudden explanation of multiple relatively complex topics (ALIE and the bombs + the City of Light + the Praimfaya reveal + the flame in S3, vs. transcendence and "the test" + the key + Cadogan/Callie backstory + the anomaly in S7)



Characters with relatively little screentime/development being the impetus for shocking character decisions (Gina dying leading to Bellamy joining Pike and massacring the army in S3 vs. Madi's safety/"death" leading to Clarke killing Bellamy and failing the test in S7)


Was this intentional, and if so... fucking why

[foxsdana]

She’s choking on light when she hears him. Soft at first. Like hints of a salt breeze blown miles inland. 

“I need you. Madi needs you.”

It makes her ears strain. Was he there? Was he trying to tell her something? Her mind raced. Josephine’s eyes narrowed. She must have heard it too. 

“I’m not letting you go.”

The pressure on her throat eased for a moment as she felt a hard weight on her chest, like something had slammed into her sternum. Suddenly, strength rushed back into her limbs, hot and powerful like a song in her heart. 

“You’re a fighter,” he said, his voice echoing off the metal walls of her mindspace. “So get up, and fight.”

Her hand curls around the ax at her feet instinctively. Before Josephine can even flinch, the blade is launching itself into her head, shattering her in an instant. 

Her eyes are opening, weak, unfocused, dazed. All she can see are tearfilled eyes in front of her, a mop of black curls, hands around her cheeks. 

“Clarke?”

He says her name like a prayer. A wish he dare not let himself believe. (He says her name how she’s longed to hear it. Six years on the ground. 2,199 days without him. He says her name and she thinks she like him to never stop saying it again.)

She cannot bring herself to speak, so she throws her arms around him instead. 

I told you, I’m not leaving you, she thinks through the tears. His arms are tight around her. 

He said he wouldn’t let her die. She swore she wouldn’t leave him. She guesses they finally learned how to keep their promises. 

It isn’t until she finally registers the blood pounding in her ears that she realizes what happened. Realizes the disgustingly beautiful irony of who they are. “The heart and the head,” she breathes. 

She was his head when his heart overwhelmed him. Now he was her heart when her own had failed her. 

Part of her (maybe some remnant of Joesphine) laughs. What bullshit was that. He had been her heart for so much longer. He had been her heart since she had given him her own as she watched the spaceship blast off for the Ring. 

If he responds she does not hear it. All she knows is his arms around her like a blanket and the rhythm of his breath. In. Out. In. Out.

Later that night, she’s sitting next to him by the fire. Octavia is inside with Gabriel, talking more about some “anomaly” as they call it. 

“Thank you,” she says softly. “For not giving up on me.”

He grunts in reply. She wonders what’s going through his head. The silence between them was far too heavy. 

“It’s the least I could do,” he finally says softly. “You never gave up on me.” When his eyes meet hers, she can’t help but wonder what happened while she was gone, what she missed to make him like this. “When we first landed. When I went radio silent in Mount Weather. After Pike and I massacred those Grounders. All those radio calls when I was on the Ring. You never left me.”

“I did in Polis.” She hates how her voice breaks. 

He stabs at the fire. “Gabriel said you may have lost a few memories,” he replied. “I was hoping you had lost that one. Because I have. It doesn’t matter, Clarke.”

“Yes,” she bites back. “Yes, it does, Bellamy. I abandoned you to die, and what do you to in return? You move heaven and earth to save me. You do this.” She gestures wildly around her, indicating to the journey they’d been on. “Bellamy,” she murmurs. “You risked everything for me. Why?”

The question slips out, unbidden. As soon as she asks it, she is ashamed. How dare she? How dare she question him after all he’s done for her? That same voice in the back of her head chides her. Can’t you just be grateful for once, Clarke? she asks herself. Why must he always prove himself to you?

Her anger with herself melts away in an instant as his eyes tear away from the fire to look at her. It almost takes her breath away. His gaze holds so much, emotions she couldn’t begin to name as well as ones she is far too afraid to. 

His voice cracks when he speaks. “You know why,” he says. “Don’t make me say it out loud.”

Deep in her heart, she does. Somewhere in the depths of her sternum, between her ribcage and lungs, she knows in the way that a salmon knows the path to the sea. Maybe by the time she feels ready to name it, he will be ready to say it aloud. 

In the meantime, they will remain silent. Until the day that their friends aren’t dying. Until the day they will be able to laugh without the joy shining through tears. Until love isn’t a luxury anymore and home is more than just a person holding her tightly in his arms, whispering, “I need you, I need you, I need you.”

“Josephine was right,” he says, pulling her from her thoughts. His voice is gruff, but he offers a smile through the worn, dark circles under his eyes. “We really are exhausting.”

She lets out a laugh, a real laugh, and covers his hand with her own, intertwining his fingers with hers.  

“We really are.”

[blodreina-noumou]

I really liked the whole idea of the mind space this season. It was cool seeing old characters and how clarkes outfits changed. I was wondering if you could have picked any character to have appeared in Clarkes or Octavias mind space, who would you have chose?

Me too!! Clarke’s mindspace episode might’ve been my favorite standalone story of the season. The quick shift between different environments, and different eras of Clarke - it was so cool, and so well-done, and I really need to do a meta, still, about which outfits appeared where, and why. I’m sure someone else beat me to it, but I still want to. It was a really cool concept and I think they pulled it off super well.

I liked Octavia’s mindspace a little less, only because Pike makes my blood boil. (He’s an excellent antagonist in that way.) Hearing him say Lincoln’s final words was a bit much for me, and I didn’t really agree with the way the scene landed. I don’t think Octavia executing Pike in s3 was the same as Pike executing Lincoln, but whatever. That’s a rant for another day.

If I could have anyone in Octavia’s mindspace, it absolutely would have been Lincoln. I think a scene between them would’ve been so important, and to me, it would’ve carried the impact that the show attempted to find by bringing Pike in, instead. Having Lincoln be the one to bring back Octavia’s softness, having him be the one to essentially suck Blodreina out of her like snake venom - that would’ve meant so, so much to me, and to so many other people who loved them and their dynamic. Damn JRoth and his treatment of Ricky Whittle.

For Clarke, I almost got my wish! It would’ve been Wells. Apparently, they really wanted him to come back, but the actor couldn’t make the scheduling work. Such a shame! Wells was Clarke’s best friend, from when they were little tiny kids, and he was a huge part of her life before the ground. I’ll always be really sad about how few scenes they had together, and then, how little we’ve seen or heard of him since. It was wonderful to at least see him represented on the walls of Clarke’s cell. 

The only other person I would’ve liked for Clarke would be Finn, but I think that would’ve made the episode very different. Clarke and Finn had a very, very complicated relationship, and they didn’t really get a chance to work things out by the time she’s forced to kill him. Seeing her face that - what was undoubtedly one of the most traumatic and formative moments of her life - while working with him directly would’ve been really cool. I’m glad they at least referenced it in the scene with Lexa’s throne, and Clarke’s box of painful memories.

Really good question, anon! Thank you!

[immortalpramheda]

The 100 6x09 ‘What You Take With You’

Octavia doesn’t remember anything that happened in the anomaly, much to Gabriel’s disappointment. He’s been waiting for 150 years to find out what the anomaly actually is. Because Octavia is healed, clean and her hair is longer, he’s convinced that she was in there for a lot longer than a few seconds (I still really want to know how time works in there. Is it actually time travel or just somewhere where time moves differently?).

He makes up a serum of plants from around the anomaly that he calls Red Sun Toxin. Which seems to have a similar effect to what happens during the red sun by opening up a part of the mind that is being repressed. He hopes that it will help Octavia remember.

When she is under it’s influence, she has a choice. The green box, which will presumably show her what happened in the anomaly (we hear Diyoza’s voice coming from there). Or the red box, which is much more enticing to Octavia.

She’s surrounded by red radioactive butterflies, and then she’s taken back to the fighting pits. It seems that the red box forces her to face her demons, which is something that she has been wanting to avoid. A montage of the most traumatic events in her life flash by, Lincoln’s death, killing Pike, the Dark Year, Bellamy in the fighting pits. It’s all too overwhelming for her.

I was not expecting to see Pike so his appearance was a very welcome surprise! He’s a representation of her inner self because she hates him more than anyone else because he killed killed Lincoln. That’s when she feels like she, Octavia Blake, died. It was after that when she started on this downward spiral.

And it’s through Pike that she comes to the realisation that she hates herself. That’s what he represents in her mindspace, how much hatred she has towards herself and what she became. That’s why she’s been on this self destructive path. And it’s him who forces her to admit what it is that she really wants. Forgiveness? No. Deep down what she wants, and what she needs, is redemption.

Does she deserve redemption? It’s not about deserving it. It’s something that must be earned and the big question is, what is she willing to do to get it? She can’t go back and change things that happened, and as Pike says, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity. But it’s always possible to do better from now on. That’s what Pike was trying to do when she killed him. She rationalised it as justice when really it was cold blooded murder.

Bloodreina, the darkest version of herself, tells her that she did what she had to do to survive. That’s how she’s always justified what she did. That’s why she was so desperate to get to the last survivable place on Earth, because once they got there, then everything she did would have made sense.

Pike gets down on his knees, a parallel to the way that Lincoln died. It’s now that Octavia finally decides to slay her demons. Bloodreina is no more, signifying that part of her life is in the past and she’s ready to move onto the future.

This is what Octavia has been desperately needing to come to terms with to get out of this place. Since they got out of the bunker, she’s still been in that mindset of fighting to stay alive. Holding onto that persona because it was all she knew for 6 years and she didn’t know who she was without it. That’s her justification for burning the farm, she couldn’t bear the thought of not winning. But Wonkru was no more and she couldn’t bear to acknowledge that. I LOVED how this whole thing went down. She seemed stuck before but now she knows exactly what she wants and where she’s heading. And I’m looking forward to seeing Bellamy reunite with his sister, who is now on a journey back to her old self.

Josephine/Clarke and Bellamy’s journey this episode was fantastic! After she had a seizure, he just casually wiped the blood off her nose, and then cut himself and put his red blood on her forehead (similar to when he cut his arm so Octavia wouldn’t be caught) so no one would know she’s a Prime.

Being captured by the Children of Gabriel gave them some time to talk (and kinda bond?). Josie admits that she’s been in love with Gabriel for 236 years, the last 70 of which he’s been trying to kill her.

Clarke can hear them, meaning that there isn’t much time left. The barrier between their brains is getting weaker. She communicates in morse code again. Boo-hoo. Which was just perfect.

“I won’t let you die.” I think the way in which Bellamy said that brought up something in Josephine. Her expression changes, because I think she understands why Bellamy won’t give up on Clarke. Someone used to feel the same way about her - Gabriel couldn't let her die and spent 25 years trying to bring her back. That kind of love is something she has experienced, and something she wishes she still had.

She calls out his ‘weird’ relationship with Clarke. At first, they tried to kill each other, and then they became best friends, bonded by committing genocide together, locked each other up, left each other to die, her on Earth, him in the fighting pits. It’s exhausting, their relationship (loved how Josephine obviously knows how he feels about her, because it’s very similar to her relationship with Gabriel). Bellamy’s reaction to when she mentioned ‘love’, the way he turns away and doesn’t acknowledge it, was very telling.

CLARKE IS BACK!!! Josie gave up control so that Clarke could fight her way out when it was discovered that she’s a Nightblood. Bellamy immediately could tell by her mannerisms that she was back! Clarke didn’t want to leave Bellamy behind, she won’t do that again. But there’s no time and she quickly slips Bellamy the keys before running off.

Clarke is back in control and can now see Josephine, which means that there is really not much time before her brain completely deteriorates. Clarke refuses to give her back control, and has also stolen some skills, how to ride a motorbike and speak Mandarin. Clarke is back and it feels so good!

Before riding off, she sends a radio message to Gabriel, which is sucked up by anomaly and Gabriel hears it on a loop. This is going to be very interesting. He’ll be reunited with someone who he has a very long history with. I do think he’s most likely going to try to save Josie, he keeps staring at the photo of her so his feelings haven’t gone away. But I think he will do whatever it takes to give Clarke her body back because it’s the right thing to do.

Kane cannot get used to this new body. Despite his mind being intact, all of his scars, and the coalition brand, are gone. Those things were a part of who he was, his body was a part of him. Abby tries to help him make sense of it, but none of this feels right.

He meets Gavin’s wife, who believes that Gavin is still in there somewhere. They’re not, their minds are wiped. The people are lied to about their religion to get them to worship these false gods. This man had a life, a family, and now because of Kane it’s been taken away.

Indra is finally woken up!! Meeting her friend who now inhabits a different body was a little strange. But her friendship with Kane runs so deep and she is willing to do whatever he believes is right.

These people murder people and will continue doing so unless they do something to stop them. This guilt at taking this innocent mans life is tearing Kane apart. And so they come up with a plan to float the Nightblood. Make it so they can no longer create more hosts. And Kane knows what needs to be done to make sure that this horror does not continue.

I’ve never been a big Kane fan, or Abby fan, but this death scene was absolutely heartbreaking. It hit all the right emotional beats and was very true to who Kane was. And I’m so glad that Abby got to say a proper goodbye to him in his original body.

“This is how we get our humanity back.” This was Kane’s choice. He’s making sure they deserve to survive. His sacrifice will ensure that Abby, and everyone else, can make a better life for themselves. To give them the chance to do better.

Indra recites the 'Travelers Blessing’, an Ark tradition, one that she learnt from Kane. She adds in a little of her culture in at the end, ‘Yu gonplei ste odon’. At this point, I couldn’t stop crying. And to make this whole thing even more tragic, this is the same way that Abby’s husband died.

Kane wasn’t mad at Abby, he made that clear. He’s knows that if the roles were reversed he would have done anything to save her. But he can’t live with himself like this. A very noble send off, perfect for his character.

After the last episode, I was skeptical about Kane’s storyline from here on. I was weirded out by the new body and was worried it would continue on for the rest of the season. But I wouldn’t have wanted his journey to end any other way. If he’d just stayed cryo with an uncertain future, or died right after being unfrozen, then that would have been a very unsatisfying send off. He died on his own terms and made sure that everyone else deserved to survive. May we meet again.

Another great, and very emotional, episode. I can’t believe the season is nearly over and can’t wait to see what the remaining episodes have in store!

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x11 “Ashes to Ashes” Review

Trust is hard to come by in a civilization built on lies. In “Ashes to Ashes”, Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia are forced to come up with a plan quick that will appease the Children of Gabriel and save their people in Sanctum while Echo, Gaia, Miller and Murphy forge their own respective plans to get out of the sacred city alive. 

Not only is the story in this episode captivating, thanks to veteran writer Charmaine DeGrate, but the acting and visuals are stunning as well — all due to Bob Morley’s natural talent in his directorial debut. He has definitely proven himself a force in front of and behind the camera, and I know I speak for the entire The 100 fandom when I say I cannot wait to see where his career takes him.

For now though, we are lucky to have him as our Bellamy Blake, who particularly shines in this episode as he faces Octavia and acts as the mastermind behind the plan that aligns them with the Children of Gabriel. That is until Clarke has other, more selfless plans, of course. 

For Monty

Upon waking up as 100% Clarke Griffin, our protagonist has a very different outlook on life. While in the mindspace, she was forced to face her demons in the form of people from her past who knew she could do better. Monty in particular helped Clarke to realize that violence isn’t always the answer. So, when Clarke comes to and realizes her people are still in Sanctum, she is dead set on masquerading as Josephine to get into the city and save them. 

We as the audience get to see that changed and evolved Clarke inside the mindspace come to fruition in the “real world” and witness the satisfying tension it causes between her and Bellamy. Bellamy, who has spent much of the season fighting tooth and nail to get Clarke back finally has her by his side again. So naturally, when she wants to thrust herself back into a dangerous situation, he isn’t a huge fan. 

Though it was disappointing that the two only briefly discussed the lengths Bellamy went to to save Clarke before refocusing their attention on the rest of their people, this is how it has always been. As frustrating as it is, they live in a post-apocalyptic world where there isn’t much time at all to discuss feelings and desires. After the ending scene of 6x10 in which we felt how desperately Bellamy needs Clarke by his side, it’s undeniable that they need to find the time to sit down and have a longer conversation someday about what it actually means that they will risk everything, including the safety of the people they love, to save the other (hint: It is absolutely not platonic). However, as we are approaching the end of the season and tensions are coming to a head, it doesn’t appear that they will find that time anytime soon. 

Regardless, just seeing Clarke and Bellamy back together, working through the problem in front of them side by side was much needed after a season of Clarke mostly existing only inside her own head. Clarke and Bellamy are co-leaders first and foremost, and as such are a force to be reckoned with. Though it pains Bellamy to consider the consequences of Clarke getting caught in Sanctum, he knows that this is what must be done — what Monty would do. 

Monty continues to be their moral compass this season as they try to work towards peace. Though this moon has thrown them for a loop more than once in their attempts to start anew and be better, our heroes know they must do so even when the temptation to get revenge is stronger than ever. Doing what is right is not always the easier route, but it’s still the one that should be taken. 

While callbacks to characters long gone can sometimes be tiring, this season has done a beautiful job at emphasizing the important roles they played and continue to play in the lives of the characters still standing. While Murphy is terrified of facing his mortality, we know through Monty, Maya, Jake and even Pike that dying does not mean you cease to matter. The impact you had on people while you were alive remains. 

And so, Clarke faces her own mortality head on for the greater good. If she doesn’t, she knows her people will likely die. While I’ve missed Clarke deeply, her returning to the screen in such a powerful way almost makes it worth it. She’s evolved into a whole new kind of hero. Just when I thought it was impossible, I love her even more.

The 10-Year-Lie

While brainstorming a plan that will lower the radiation shield and get Bellamy, Clarke and Octavia’s people out of Sanctum, the group is confronted by the Children of Gabriel. They believe that Gabriel is still Xavier, and that he and “the old man” are protecting Josephine, thus betraying their anti-Prime regime. When they discover that Gabriel has bodysnatched Xavier, and has secretly existed in this form for 10 years, the Children of Gabriel are understandably upset. 

Layla, the sister of Xavier, helps add an interesting layer to the story. As Bellamy and Octavia work through their tarnished sibling relationship, she must mourn the fact that she’ll never get the chance to do the same, as her brother is gone forever. Layla’s hurt and anger is palpable as she must cooperate with Gabriel in order to destroy the Primes. 

We also get to see more of how the Primes are directly hurting people and tearing people apart, even though they believe what they are doing is right. The 100 has always placed emphasis on the grey area between right and wrong, a space that many if not all of the characters on this show have occupied at some point in time. The view of the Primes as godly figures and the cold war between the believers in Sanctum and the nonbelievers in the forest once again highlights that grey area. Both believe they are right, and neither are willing to budge. 

Also interesting is Gabriel’s role in all of this. Though he has notoriously led an anti-Primes movement, he is still alive in yet another body. We get little insight as to why he was resurrected 10 years ago, only that it was done by a man named Eduardo without his consent. This explains why he’s been hiding for so long, pretending to be Xavier. Though this season has largely been about redemption for characters like Octavia and Clarke who we know to have done bad things in the past, Gabriel needs to redeem himself as well. He has his own demons that he must face by helping to rescue the innocent and unwilling before they become hosts.

What is still undetermined is whether he will go along with Clarke’s peaceful plan, or aid the Children of Gabriel in killing the remaining Primes. While Clarke and Bellamy have a moral compass in the form of Monty guiding them, he does not. Though he has agreed to side with Clarke, we know how quickly characters on this show can switch allegiances when it is convenient for them. So, Gabriel is certainly a wild card.

A Spy Named Ash 

Back in Sanctum, Russell and Co. waste no time finding a new host for Simone’s mind drive. Echo, who has just been betrayed by Ryker while attempting to assassinate Russell and save her friends, is the chosen one. 

As Ryker prepares to kill her, Echo stalls, offering up a backstory that gives the audience an important little tidbit of information: Echo isn’t the name she was born with. As a child living under Queen Nia’s rule in the Ice Nation, or Azgeda, Ash was forced to kill her friend, Echo, and assume her identity before a trip to a neighboring kingdom. 

She tells the tale through tears, seemingly still guilty that she was not able to spare her friend’s life. However, when Gaia and Miller (a dream team, might I add) come to her rescue, Echo reminds Ryker of something Queen Nia taught her, right as she plunges a spear into his heart: hesitation is death. 

While this was an unexpected “badass” moment, it completely alters the importance of Echo’s story. While watching the flashback, we’re supposed to feel bad for Echo who was forced to kill someone close to her at such a young age. We believe that this provides more depth to her character, shows her as more than just a spy with good aim. 

However, Echo does not redeem herself by doing better as so many others have done this season. Instead, she takes the easier route, revenge, and kills Ryker. 

While this may be smart and cunning, it makes all of Echo’s flashes of vulnerability up until this point seem ingenuine. If this moment, an important glimpse into her traumatic past, was only a ploy to set her up for revenge, how are we as the audience expected to interpret any moments of warmth or vulnerability from her as anything other than manipulative? I want so badly to like Echo and to see her become a well-rounded character, but unfortunately this flashback only aided me in viewing her as cold-hearted, one-note character. 

The “badass female warrior” trope is only entertaining up to a certain point. If Echo is to continue being a part of the story the writers are telling, she needs an emotional facelift. And pronto. In a season constructed around the idea of facing one’s demons, there’s no reason Echo couldn’t have done the same — and shown some real depth in the process. 

My Sister, not My Responsibility

While dangerous, Sanctum sure is beautiful. I’ll give it that. While foraging for the toxic mushrooms needed to make a bomb with the same hallucinatory properties as the red sun, Bellamy and Octavia get a much-needed opportunity to hash things out in a glowing cave.

Octavia has changed since going into the anomaly and facing her demons, the most significant of which was her brother and what she put him through. She knows that she cannot expect Bellamy to forgive her for the person she became in his absence over those six years, but she also needs him to know that she’s turned over a new leaf. 

It’s understandably difficult for Bellamy to believe that she could have changed so much in such a short amount of time, but it’s clear that he sees some sort of shift. While Bellamy refuses to forgive and forget, he does offer up a satisfying line, delivered perfectly by Bob Morley: “You are my sister, but you’re not my responsibility, not anymore.” 

For Octavia, Bellamy was her moral compass. She needed his guidance, although this is the first time she’s admitting that. The Blake siblings have been through a lot. At times, their tumultuous relationship has felt exhausting. Bellamy’s recognition that Octavia is still his sister, but that she’s not his to guide anymore is something that has been a long time coming, perhaps too long. Though they still have a lot to work through, when and if they ever find a moment of peace, this moment felt satisfying. Bellamy is no longer running away from Octavia and pretending she doesn’t exist, and Octavia is taking responsibility for her actions. 

Marie and Bob’s acting in this scene was impeccable and really brought this relationship back to life. This scene was probably my favorite of the entire night, purely because we got to see a pairing that has been missing all season return. And, perhaps more importantly, Bellamy was able to definitively tell his sister that he doesn’t forgive her for her abusive behavior, and doesn’t have to. 

From this point forward, Octavia will have to continue on her journey of redemption by herself, without that moral compass she claims to need so badly. Her demons are perhaps the darkest of all, so it will be interesting to say the least to see if she can reach some form of enlightenment or if she will fall back into her old ways. 

The Unsung Heroes 

An unexpected yet delightful pairing this episode was Miller and Gaia. These two minor characters got the chance to shine through and bounce off each other in ways I never knew I needed. Gaia helps Miller to forgive himself for following Octavia despite her wicked ways, telling him that mistakes can be forgiven, it’s not learning from them that cannot be. 

This line parallels Gaia greatly to Monty, whose only wish for his people was to be the good guys moving forward. While Monty is the moral compass for Bellamy, Clarke and Octavia in the forest, Gaia is that same moral compass in Sanctum. 

She and Miller escape their holding cell and manage to save Echo, but not before she’s been made into a nightblood. Gaia notices this right away as she’s untying her, and in true Gaia fashion is stunned. 

I can’t help but wonder if Echo’s nightblood is a setup for something greater. Will she take the chip and become commander? I don’t think so. More plausible, I think, is that she will have to lower the radiation shield. Of course this means something would have to happen to Clarke and/or Raven that would hinder them from being able to do so themselves. 

While Gaia and Miller got their chance to be unsung heroes in this episode, perhaps Echo will get that same chance soon, possibly redeeming herself. Though this is equal parts speculation and wishful thinking, The 100 is unpredictable. Regardless, I would like to see Gaia and Miller become best friends and continue being a dream team, please and thank you. 

Caught in the Middle

Poor Murphy, always finding himself caught between a rock and a hard place. Then again though, as Russell puts it, he’s willing to do whatever and align with whoever in order to save himself. While Murphy takes offense to this, he can’t necessarily deny it. 

However, there’s a shift in Murphy’s thought process that is visible when Russell warns him there will be consequences for not bringing Josephine back alive. Murphy assumes he will be killed, “an eye for an eye”. He seems genuinely accepting of this. It’s only when Russell says Emori will be killed that Murphy’s face changes. 

Murphy has always been a selfish person. Arguably, Emori changed that about him the moment they fell in love. In Season 4, he fought to make sure she would not be killed in the radiation chamber. Similarly, she refused to leave him to die on earth at the end of Season 5. The two are willing to die if it means dying by the side of the person they love. 

However, this is the first time we’ve seen Murphy really accept his own death as he recognizes Russell’s deal for what it is, immortality versus mortality. He still wants to live forever by Emori’s side, but if one of them has to die to save the other, he wants it to be him. 

I’m still waiting for Murphy to change sides as he does so well and become the hero we all know he can be (see: him helping to save Clarke in Season 3). This time though, perhaps he will stay on the “good” side and take Monty’s words to heart. 

Murphy’s internal battle with his mortality has been so interesting to watch, and has been perhaps my favorite storyline to come out of Sanctum’s body-snatching ways. He’s known as a cockroach for a reason, but does he want that to be his legacy? Though he’s high up on my list of characters most likely to die this season, I sincerely hope he sticks around purely because I want to see him accept his mortality and live with it.  

This is The 100 though, so I’m not holding my breath that he will get a happy ending. After all, does anyone ever get that on this show? 

The Academy Award Goes to: 

You’ve seen Clarke, Josephine, Josephine pretending to be Clarke, and a Clarke and Josephine combo. Can I interest you in Clarke as Josephine? 

Realizing that the only way to avoid killing innocent people is to lower the radiation shield before the less intense bomb is set off, Clarke knows she must pretend to be Josephine and do it herself. Clarke parallels Bellamy from Season 2 as the inside man, and she certainly isn’t expecting what she finds when she returns to Sanctum. 

Madi is strapped down and being drained of her bone marrow to allow for the creation of more hosts, including one for Simone, Josephine’s mother. Clarke takes on perhaps the greatest acting feat of all time when she tells Madi that she is Josephine, and that Clarke is gone forever. She must be apathetic as Madi struggles in place, promising to avenge her death. 

I genuinely expected Clarke to break in this moment, and I’m sure there will be many moments like it in the near future. Clarke knows she must remain undercover if she wants to save the lives of all her people, including Madi, but that’s her child strapped down and being used as a medical experiment. 

It has been such a joy to watch Eliza Taylor’s range this season as she’s taken on the challenge of not only playing two entirely different characters, but playing them as each other as well. She’s really done an incredible job with it and shown just how talented she is (though just her as Clarke was enough to prove that). With Eliza announcing that she’ll be directing next season, I’m already excited for what’s to come after Season 6 is over. However, we still have two more episodes to get through in which I’m positive she’ll shine in front of the camera like she’s done all season long. 

Final Thoughts

In his first episode as a director, Bob Morley really knocked it out of the park. Everything came together to showcase the story in the best way possible, with the actors shining through in their performances. It’s unsuprising that so many cast members have been singing Bob’s praises since before the episode even aired. Hopefully we will get more episodes directed by him in the future!

As far as the story goes, this episode was pretty on par with the excellent writing that’s been delivered to us all season long. Clarke has been set up to once again save the day, but will she be able to? It’s those unexpected yet expected twists that make this show so great. We know that something is going to go wrong with this plan, we just don’t know what. 

With Clarke and Murphy back in Sanctum, almost everyone is in the same place again. The stories are starting to intertwine, with Abby’s bone marrow solution incapacitating Madi and thus throwing an unexpected wrench in Clarke’s plans to stay cool and undercover. Meanwhile, Murphy has further aligned himself with Russell and the Primes and will likely be a key player in determining the fate of his people. Does this mean more Clarke/Josephine and Murphy? Sign me up. 

And then there’s Bellamy and Octavia who are still with the Children of Gabriel and Gabriel himself. These two will really have to work together to save those they love and avoid a bloodbath. Octavia’s redemption, incoming. 

After all is said and done, Bellamy is going to have to face what he did as well though. He cannot sweep under the rug the fact that he left everyone else behind to get Clarke back. Even if it was in the best interest for his people, his focus at the time was on saving Clarke. 

This episode did give us a few breathers amidst the chaos for characters to work through their personal issues, and I’m hoping that we’ll get more of that after the climax of the finale. If the story is to move forward, the characters' relationships need to change, whatever that means for each respective pairing. 

Interpret that however you wish. 

With two hours of Season 6 left to go, I think this episode ultimately did its job. It forced the characters as well as us to consider how this is all going to end, and if they can really follow Monty’s advice and do better. 

Next episode, the penultimate, will launch us head first into the action and thrill The 100 does so well with that morally grey area growing even bigger. I can’t wait!

Stray Thoughts

Where is Jordan? It makes no sense that he suddenly disappeared, especially having played such an integral role in the first half of the season.

Bellamy hiding his tears after talking to Octavia really got to me. Bob Morley truly is a force in front of and behind the camera.

Speaking of acting, can we talk about Eliza Taylor playing Clarke playing Josephine? Incredible. That “Boo hoo” was everything.

That parallel between Clarke pulling the gag out of Bellamy’s mouth and him doing the same to her in 3x02 was something I never knew I needed until now. *Chef’s kiss*

Gaia must be protected at all costs. That is all. 

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

[clarkgriffon]

1/4 I’ll be the first to preemptively admit I have no concrete evidence of this happening, but I’m going to purge myself of these frustrations and then i’ll be dandy, I hope. If we enter S7 with a Bellamy who’s “torn between E and Clarke and doesn’t know what to do about it” after exhausting this precise storyline for two seasons on a show where almost everything is fast/er-paced than this love triangle…if we are living in a post-6x10/11 world in which there is any part of Bellamy still fooling

2/4 himself that he’s content to remain E’s boyfriend and Clarke’s platonic friend/co-leader…if there is any sliver of Bellamy who wants to preserve this relationship…then some higher power will have to grant me the strength not to chuck my TV out the nearest window. Let him be preoccupied by Octavia’s disappearance, let him focus on all the problems they’ll have to solve, let him feel guilty over the prospect of ending B/E, but please let him and E promptly realize once and for all that

3/4 there’s no salvaging their doomed relationship. Can we please be granted this one allowance as we head into the final 16 episodes where they’ll have to contend with 99 plot centric issues and 75 character stories to juggle in between? Can we finally be allowed to lay this one storyline to rest early on? Bellarke’s romantic storyline is as tense as it’s going to get, there’s barely any value left in B/E and the triangle anymore when they’ve been preordained to fail since 5x01, been steadily

4/4 falling apart across 2 seasons while Bellarke simultaneously grows closer. “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result every time is the definition of insanity.” Yeah? So how many times can Bellamy let his head choose a woman who is most definitely not the love of his life when the decision has never nor will it ever lead him to the kind of happiness he craves? Mindspace!Pike, can you please come through for the elder Blake?

I honestly don’t even have an adequate response to this, just...

Thank you for this.

[osleyakomwonkru]

“I used to think fighting is what we do. Now I worry that fighting is what we are.” - Clarke, S7 promo

Thanks for finally showing up to the party, Clarke. 

Like I’ve said over and over again, actions matter. There is no “who we are and who need to be to survive are two very different things.”

“We are what we’ve done and what’s been done to us.” -Mindspace!Pike to Octavia, 6x09

“The sword doesn’t care what you meant, it just cuts.” - Octavia to Ilian, 4x06

Octavia gets this, and always has. It’s about time everyone else started to understand.

[travllingbunny]

My reviews and meta about The 100

Analyses

(with a lot of images and some videos)

The 100 6x07 Nevermind: costumes, sets and props

Clarke Griffin’s memories and images in her mindspace (episodes 6x06. 6x07 and 6x10)

Clarke’s drawings in season 5 and 6 of The 100 

Planets in the season 7 opening credits  and additional info and screenshots after 7x04

Reviews

Season 1 - rewatch

1x01 Pilot  1x02 Earth Skills  and a bit of discussion about how we felt about the characters during the first watch  1x03 Earth Kills  1x04 Murphy's Law  1x05 Twilight’s Last Gleaming  1x06 His Sister's Keeper  1x07 Contents Under Pressure  1x08 Day Trip 1x09 Unity Day  1x10 I Am Become Death  1x11 The Calm  1x12/1x13 We Are Grounders (Part 1&Part 2) and season overview 

Season 2 - rewatch

Overview   2x01 The 48  2x02 Inclement Weather  2x03 Reapercussions  2x04 Many Happy Returns  2x05 Human Trials  2x06 Fog of War  2x07 Long into an Abyss  2x08 Spacewalker  2x09 Remember Me  2x10 Survival of the Fittest  2x11 Coup de Grâce  2x12 Rubicon  2x13 Resurrection  2x14 Bodyguard of Lies  2x15 Blood Must Have Blood, Part One  2x16 Blood Must Have Blood, Part Two 

Season 3 - rewatch

Overview 

Episodes 3x01-3x02 

Episodes 3x03-3x05 

Episodes 3x06-3x10 

Episodes 3x11-3x16 

Season 4 - rewatch

4x01 Echoes  4x02 Heavy Lies the Crown  4x03 Four Horsemen  4x04 A Lie Guarded  4x05 Tinder Box  4x06 We Will Rise  4x07 Gimme Shelter  4x08 God Complex  4x09 DNR  4x10 Die All, Die Merrily  4x11 The Other Side  4x12 The Chosen  4x13 Praimfaya  Season 4 and the greyest morality ever (meta mostly relating to The Chosen - which was originally meant to be a part of it)

Season 5 - rewatch

5x01 Eden

5x02 Red Queen

5x03 Sleeping Giants

5x04 Pandora’s Box

5x05 Shifting Sands

(more to come)

Season 6 (reviews posted weekly during the season)

6x01 Sanctum  6x02 Red Sun Rising  6x03 Children of Gabriel  6x04 The Face Behind the Glass  6x05 The Gospel of Josephine  6x06 Memento Mori    6x07 Nevermind  6x08 The Old Man and the Anomaly  6x09 What You Take With You

6x10 Matryoshka 6x11 Ashes to Ashes  6x12 Adjustment Protocol  6x13 The Blood of Sanctum 

Season 7  (reviews posted weekly during the season)

7x01 From the Ashes 

7x02 The Garden

7x03 False Gods

7x04 Hesperides

7x05 Welcome to Bardo

7x06 Nakara

7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

+ My authentic live reaction to 7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

7x08 Anaconda

7x09 The Flock

7x10 A Little Sacrifice

7x11 Etherea and some additional thoughts about Bellamy’s experience in the cave

7x12 The Stranger

Various meta and longer comments

Clarke's Commander of Death nickname

Clarke's relationship with Finn 

Clarke's relationship with Lexa  and the follow-up post about Lexa herself and the Commanders in Grounder culture 

Semi-humorous summary of The 100

Reply to falafel14′s meta about Maya Vie

Why Charles Pike doesn’t deserve all the hate

About Bellamy’s decisions in season 5 regarding Madi and the Flame

Favorite episodes

Could Bellarke have confessed their feelings for each other in the season 4 finale?

About the show’s portrayal (or lack of it) of Clarke’s grieving for Wells 

The writers are bad at math: time dilation inconsistencies between season 6 and season 7 

Some questions and answers about the plot of season 7

Fanon vs canon: a comedic post about the popular fanon versions of The 100 characters (the replies and reblogs with comments to this post are also well worth reading, particularly @kizo2703‘s summary of two fanon versions of Raven

Speculation

The 100 Final Season Speculations (general speculation posted after the end of season 6)

The 100 speculation: Anomaly Stone, Eligius 3, Second Dawn (posted after 7x02) and speculation: part  2

Where is Bellamy? and more on time dilation possibilities and Etherea again

[sarcasmrights]

The Walls Have Secrets

[ao3]

{i was a part of the shyan exchange over at @shyanwritingevents and my lovely recipient was @sunshinebergara ! thanks for much for the prompt, ella. hope to see you at the next event!}

The autumn wind howls between trees as Ryan, armed to the teeth with absolutely legitimate paranormal investigation equipment, approaches the intimidating wrought-iron gates of the supposedly haunted Vanderbilt Mansion. He eyes the intimidatingly black posts standing between him and the mansion, sizing up how tall they were and if he could climb them or need to find another way onto the grounds. One way or another, he was going to be investigating this abandoned mansion and possibly even helping some poor lost souls move on with their afterlives. The Paranormal Club at his high school will finally be taken seriously and who knows, maybe Ryan will be able to convince his other clubmates to actually come on investigations.

Ryan’s concentration is ruined when a deep chuckle sounds off behind him and he turns, glaring at his investigation partner. Shane stands behind him with only a flashlight and smug grin, obviously here to gloat if Ryan finds no evidence of activity or immediately discredit any evidence Ryan does find. He’s already explained that spirits need a huge amount of energy to even use any of their equipment and if Shane could wipe that stupid smile off his face, he’d really appreciate it. No matter how many times Ryan tries to reason with the skeptic, Shane always brushes him off and mocks his arguments.

“Sorry, sorry, can’t help it. You’re doing it again,” Shane explains, holding his pocketed hands in surrender. “You looked like you were monologuing again in your head.”

“I-I was not! I’m just trying to see if I can climb the gate,” Ryan explains, shining his flashlight on said offending gate to further his point. Shane only scoffs and joins Ryan’s side, also sizing up the gate. They stand there in a tense silence before Ryan huffs, turning off his light. The chain and padlock on the front say they won’t be getting in through this way, and none of them wanted to be caught breaking and entering so bolt cutters were out of the question. He tuts once before turning to start scouring the mansion perimeter when Shane clicks his tongue.

“Yeah, it’s too tall for you to climb, but I’d be able to get over his no problem,” he says and Ryan rolls his eyes, giving Shane another look.

“Yeah? And what’d you do then? Climb back over to make your point?” he asks, a grin tugging at his lips. No matter how annoying Shane can be, the junior always found a way to make him smile. The plus side of having such a skeptic by his side was that Ryan’s nerves were usually kept at a low whenever Shane was around to shout threats at demons and ghosts.

“Exactly.” Shane nods, seeming satisfied before breaking into a laugh. “No, I’m kidding. C’mere Bergara, I’ll get you over the fence.” The skeptic pulls his hands out of his pockets and rubs them together, staring at the top of the fence like it were some goal.

“What’re you talking about, Shane? What, do you have a ladder shoved up your a--” Ryan’s joke is rudely interrupted when Shane casually picks him up by his waist, once again showing off his strength as he carelessly tosses Ryan up against the fence, the poor sophomore screaming as he grabs onto the iron and scrambles up and over the pikes. Once he lands on his hands and knees, Ryan gives himself a pat down before standing, glaring at the smiling Shane through the fence.

“Fuck you, Madej. Just ‘cause I’m a beanpole now doesn’t mean you can throw me around,” he hisses and hates how the casual smirk Shane throws at him makes his heart soar. Ryan steps away from the fence when Shane motions for him too, watching the track star scramble over the fence and land with catlike grace on the other side, looking infuriatingly unfazed.

“Show off,” Ryan mumbles and starts down the decrepit cobblestone driveway, pulling out his camcorder to document what he’s doing. He starts off the recording by recounting how they manage to get over the fence, explaining how they couldn’t find another way onto the mansion grounds so they had to resort to using some athletic skill to--

“I literally picked you up and threw you over,” Shane interrupts, poking his head in the background.

“Will you stop that?” Ryan asks, shooing him away with his arm. Shane ducks and weaves before wiggling his fingers at the camera in a hello. Ryan rolls his eyes before signing off the recording, saying he’ll document more once they reach the mansion.

“So lemme get this straight, you still don’t think you’re vlogging,” Shane says, kicking a stray rock off the path. Ryan gives him another look.

“No, that’s what people on YouTube do. I’m just documenting another paranormal investigation. I’m not pranking whoever I’m dating or pretending people care about what I think about on the internet,” Ryan corrects, adjusting the straps of his backpack. Shane offers an agreeing hum before their conversation cools to a comfortable silence. Ryan looks around the unmaintained lawn, with the trees growing around the perimeter of the fence and tall grass infested with weeds, and figures if they weren’t on an investigation, this would be a pretty nice walk. Maybe he should go on a walk with Shane after all this and just talk.

“Ryan, I gotta tell you something,” Shane says quietly and Ryan flicks his eyes at him to show he’s got his attention.

“I… Why do you keep going on these investigations with me even though you know I don’t believe in ghosts? Like, as funny as it is seeing you scream at any noise the house makes, it’s gotta be boring to have someone just tell you it’s the wind or the house settling.”

Ryan readjusts his hold on his backpack straps and purses his lips. He’s been asking himself the same question since their last investigation, where they went home empty-handed but Ryan’s heart didn’t feel defeated. In fact, it felt great. Shane had made the both of them laugh so hard they wound up crying in the house foyer. Everything had felt a million times less scary last time and Ryan himself knew the location couldn’t have been too haunted, his hairs weren’t standing on end.

Still, he had been hopeful and having an entire night of no activity would usually leave him morose. In the beginning, when Shane had asked to join the Paranormal Club, Ryan had thought he’d come to mock them and poke any holes he could find in their evidence. Shane had poked some holes, yeah, but it was on all the flimsy evidence. Otherwise, he’s been patient and admits when he doesn’t have the scientific answer to some of the phenomena the club presented.

“I dunno,” Ryan settles for, but when Shane doesn’t seem too happy with the answer, he quickly adds, “I just think you… keep me calm when I’m really scared, y’know? Like, if I had to do this with anyone else, they’d probably scream with me or try to split up and we’d end up in some straight to DVD horror B movie.” He shrugs to punctuate that that’s all Ryan can say and Shane seems placated by it, turning away for a second. Ryan tries to peek at what Shane is staring at but can’t find anything.

“What?” he asks and Shane turns back to him, obviously smothering a grin.

“I-It’s nothing, it’s just… That was pretty cute coming from you,” Shane explains and Ryan retaliates by shining his flashlight in his face, relishing the surprised yelp and leaving Shane to rub his eyes in favor of approaching the grand doors to the Vanderbilt estate. Shane catches up with him and stares at the doors with him.

“Well damn, if we can’t find any ghosts tonight, at least we found a house with style,” he quips and Ryan laughs, shining his light on the intricate details of the doors and archway. Shane’s right, just the front door gave off the old money vibe. It would be a dream to live in something as expensive as the mansion.

“Yeah, right? I’m tempted to just spend the night here to live that luxury life,” Ryan says before squatting so he’s eye level with the doorknob. It doesn’t look too complicated a lock, but again they don’t want to be caught breaking and entering so they might have to scale to the second floor to test out any windows to see if they’re open. Worse comes to worse, Ryan did bring that lockpick kit his aunt had bought him for Christmas so they could always jimmy the handle and--

Shane reaches over and turns the weathered gold knob, pushing the door open. Ryan is greeted by the sight of a dusty and eerie foyer, a dull crystal chandelier hanging overhead. He quickly stands from his squat and licks his lips, his nerves finally catching up to him. The beams from their flashlights dance over cobwebs and dust particles that likely haven’t moved for months until Shane threw open the door. Ryan drags his light up the grand staircase and finds a chill running over his spine as he meets eyes with each painted portrait lining the walls where the stairway splits into two directions. Their eyes bore right through him and into his soul, and suddenly Ryan feels too aware that people like him weren’t entirely welcomed into the mansion.

A sudden punctuated thud shakes Ryan from his mindspace and he glances over at Shane, who’s pointedly stuck his foot into the mansion. The worried look in Shane’s eyes manages to steady Ryan’s screaming nerves and he quickly clears his throat, following after Shane and stepping into the foyer, albeit a little quieter.

“You okay there?” Shane asks, much softer than his usually boisterous personality. Ryan nods, trying to breathe and ignore how chilly it is inside the mansion compared to the outside. It would suggest that paranormal activity would be active in this house and Ryan doesn’t know whether to scream in excitement or agony at the idea of being on a ghost’s stomping grounds. Either way, they have to investigate the mansion, and Ryan summons every ounce of courage within himself to lead them past the foyer.

Shane is oddly silent behind Ryan as they veer off into the home, just occasionally swinging his flashlight beam around and making a comment about how old a man looked in his painted portrait. Ryan isn’t sure what he prefers, the Shane who makes crude remarks about the infrastructure of a house or the Shane that is actually quiet and lets Ryan do his documentations in peace.

After walking up to the second floor, Ryan is sure he misses the Shane who uses his big mouth because that would have masked the sounds of each creaky step seemingly echoing throughout the house. Still, Ryan makes no comment about Shane’s behavior and only hopes he’ll find his ghost hating groove soon.

“Little uh… Little chilly in here, huh?” Ryan says as they meander down a long corridor. It sounds horribly obvious that Ryan is trying to reach out to Shane but he’s drawing a blank on how to get his skeptic friend back to normal. Wait, what if Shane’s acting differently because he’s been possessed by something from the mansion? What if he’s actually trapped inside his body and trying to scream at Ryan to run? What if Ryan’s stuck in a horror B movie and he’ll have to try and kill his friend and--

“Yeah, but not as cold as Ms. McLaughlin’s heart for giving me a fail on that chem test,” Shane fires back and Ryan manages a relieved laugh, nudging Shane’s arm. He laughs even harder when Shane nudges him back and they get into a battle of shoulders checks, which somehow forces Ryan to stumble into another room, the door almost swinging open for him as he trips over his own feet and winds up smacking flat on his ass.

“Oh, Jesus. Ryan, are you okay?” Shane worriedly asks, rushing after him into the room, hands already outstretched to help him up. Ryan gladly takes the hands and dusts himself off, looking around the dark room, shining his flashlight at all the corners.

Tall bookcases line two of the walls, leaving the wall closest to the door empty and the one opposite of that blank as well. A well-used writing desk sits next to the door, dusty bulbless lamp standing next to it. Ryan feels something tug at the back of his brain as he continues processing the room, something important…

“Ryan, lookit this!” Shane calls, now on the other side of the room. Ryan swings his light at him and watches as Shane slowly raises a large rectangular panel and reveals an uncomfortably small elevator, or a--

“Dumbwaiter. It’s a dumbwaiter,” Ryan whispers under his breath as he manages his way over to Shane, sticking closer to his friend’s side as his brain continues to dig at whatever is nagging his mind.

“Well, it’s decently sized for a dumbwaiter. I bet you could fit in this, with how tiny you are,” Shane says and nudges at Ryan again, to which Ryan just gives him a look before breaking into a smile and nudging him back. They continue their little nudge battle before it suddenly dawns upon Ryan, his face going ghostly pale.

“Should be decently sized if it’s meant for something bigger than food,” Ryan says and Shane gives him a look, staring at the dumbwaiter before back at Ryan, waiting for him to continue. The sophomore only swings his flashlight around the room, eyes finally seeing the study and, with a sharper focus, realizing that some of the lower shelves of the bookcases didn’t seem to be attached to the entire units.

Ryan’s legs shake as he makes his way over to one and feels underneath a shelf, finding a handle and, with a dreading heart, slowly pulls. The shelf moves with screams of protest, having not been used for some decades. Ryan ignores how the sounds make his heart shake and continues to pull, revealing a long steel table, none too different from an operating table.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Shane offers, peeking over Ryan’s shoulder and at the table. There are some suspiciously colored stains on the table and Ryan has to turn away as his mind relentlessly recalls facts about servants going into the study at the call of their master and never leaving. Or how the mansion had been vacated because the youngest twins, barely five, had somehow vanished from the property, their bodies never found.

“I-I… This is where he must’ve… killed people, I guess,” Ryan manages out and looks up at Shane, who glances down at him before back at the table.

“Well…” Shane begins but doesn’t finish, preferring to let the sentence die in the air. Ryan turns back to the table before swinging his backpack around his side, unzipping a pocket and pulling out a device that makes Shane groan.

“Not the spirit box, Ryan. That thing doesn’t work, and it sounds like the stupid ‘white noise’ machine my mom uses to go to sleep and keeps the rest of the house awake,” he begs, and Ryan catches him sigh and throws his lanky arms into the air as he fiddles to turn the device on. He’s standing in a room with the worst energy in the entire house, of course he has to turn on the box. If there’s anyone left here, trapped in the study, then he has to at least attempt to help them.

“Here,” Ryan says and passes the camera to Shane, who takes it while grumbling under his breath, turning it on and pointing it at Ryan. He nods when Ryan looks at him for confirmation, and Ryan secretly wishes he didn’t but steels his heart. Shane’s here, and if he can manage to prove that spirits exist, then it’ll all be worth it.

It’ll all be worth it, Ryan chants to himself before turning on the box, filling what feels like the entire mansion with static noise. It picks up a few garbled chunks of radio before settling into the jumbled white noise. Ryan swallows and looks uncertainly at nothing in particular.

“Hello? Is there anybody with us? I’m Ryan, that’s Shane.” Ryan gestures at Shane, who wiggles his fingers. “We’re uh… We’re here to help you if you’re… stuck here,” Ryan trails off, unsure of what else to say. His fingers are slick from holding the spirit box with a vicelike grip and there’s an eternal silence before a word punctuates through the noise.

“H’llo…. Ry… Shin…”

“Hoooly shit!” Ryan yelps, wanting nothing more than to drop the box but his grip remained steadfast. Still... “Holy shit! They said our names! Someone said our names! Hello? That’s our names!”

“Sounded like they called me a shin,” Shane mumbles behind the camera and Ryan ignores him, the skeptic talk getting swept away by the tidal wave of awe and fear rolling through him. A spirit had spoken to them! Someone had attempted to communicate!

“N’d… help…”

“O-Oh, okay. H-How do you need help?” Ryan asks, staring at the box as if it were a sentient creature. It could very well be at this point, whoever is speaking to them is obviously intelligent enough to return conversation. Holy shit, Ryan is still reeling from getting a legitimate response, and on camera too.

“Help… B’d… man come… -ing. Hide.”

The hide rang clear as day and Ryan feels his blood, still pounding through his veins, run abnormally cold. He looks at Shane with the fear of God in his eyes and they stare at one another for a hot second before Ryan bursts into movement. He shuts off the spirit box and swears he can hear footsteps echoing down the corridor. Fuck, they didn’t even close the door.

“Hold on there, little guy. Hold… Ryan, you’re seriously not doing what a ghost tells you ri--”

There’s a rather obvious thud down the hall and that shuts Shane up. Thank God, because Ryan didn’t know how he would’ve convinced Shane to do anything. Now, his friend is scrambling to throw the camera into his bag and trying to find a place to hide. Ryan’s eyes jump from surface to surface as he too struggles to find somewhere.

Underneath the desk is too short and narrow, Shane wouldn’t be able to dream of fitting. The steel tables have only millimeters of space between the top of the table and the bottom of the bookshelf, there’s no place except for--

“Get in the dumbwaiter,” Ryan hisses and pushes Shane towards it. It would be uncomfortably close for the both of them, but it’s the best place to hide inside of the study, so they’ll both just have to deal with it until whatever threat looming on them passes. Shane makes a noise of protest but stumbles back into the dumbwaiter, tucking his gangly legs inside. Ryan manages to sneak his legs on each side of Shane’s waist and he’s hunched over so Shane’s face is level with his chest. He pulls the panel down and holds his breath, sinking both of them in a darkness broken only by the thinnest sliver of faint moonlight. Both of their flashlights are off and Ryan can hear Shane breathing heavily, shushing his friend and putting a finger on his lips.

Each thud sounds like a rolling wave of thunder, growing closer and closer, Ryan’s heart beat faster and faster with every step he hears. It feels like an eon until the steps start to fade away, as if they were continuing down the hall and finally leaving them alone. Ryan lets out a happy sigh of relief and slumps, forgetting he and Shane were on top of each other and nearly collapsing on top of his friend.

“Oh, sorry,” Ryan whispers and tries to shift, only succeeding in awkwardly shuffling their legs and hips together. Shane doesn’t say a word, just remaining stock still underneath him. Ryan reaches for the panel to open up the dumbwaiter, more than happy to gets some fresh air, when his fingers find nothing. He tries again, reaching for the little hole that could lift the wooden panel, trying to sink his finger into it but still finding nothing.

“What the fuck?” Ryan asks and turns on his flashlight, blinding the both of them and apologizing when he hears Shane wince and turn away. There’s no hole. No panel. Nothing.

“What the fuck, what the fuck?” Ryan asks, starting to freak out himself. He fumbles against the panel one more time, only to find no seam that would let him think they’re in a dumbwaiter. It’s like there’s just wall now.

“Oh my God we’re stuck,” Ryan gasps out and suddenly, a hand grabs his wrist and Ryan flinches, looking down to meet Shane’s wide scared eyes. The hand holding his wrist is trembling and Shane licks his lips before opening them.

“We’re what?” he asks, voice far from the bravado he exerted before. Ryan looks down at Shane with his own scared eyes before back at the blank wall.

“I think we’re stuck,” he whispers and Shane lets out a pained noise, hand tightening around Ryan’s wrist. Ryan looks back down at his friend and sees the noticeable fear singing in his eyes, his hand trembling even now. Shane tries to shift once and finds himself too gangly to do much more than bang his head against the side of the dumbwaiter.

“H-Hey, it’s alright big guy,” Ryan starts, slowly attempting to unravel his hand from Shane’s grip, only to find it ironclad. Alright, plan B then. Ryan brings their now conjoined arms so they rested on Shane’s stomach and draws circles on the back of Shane’s hand, struggling for something to say. Shane has his eyes closed and breathing irregularly, body occasionally twitching as he obviously works to calm himself down.

“Hey, Shane?” Ryan asks and he only gets a soft and impatient “hm?” in return. Ryan continues to thumb Shane’s hand before reaching forward and resting his palm on Shane’s shoulder. That makes Shane open his eyes and look right into Ryan’s, where Ryan can see his attempts to calm down are failing.

“It’s okay, big guy. I’ve got you. We’re gonna get through this together,” he promises, with a put-together feeling he doesn’t have. Ryan continues staring at Shane until his friend nods weakly, his grip loosening just the slightest. They stay staring for a second longer before the dumbwaiter lurches down, to which Shane lets out a shout of fear and drags Ryan towards him, hugging him all too tightly as Ryan himself tries to breathe.

It’s not a sudden drop by any means, but the dumbwaiter is definitely moving. Ryan thought the electricity had gone out in the home, but apparently not. Maybe it’s on for tours but it’s the offseason…

Ryan’s mind continues to race through explanations, something he’s picked up since working with Shane, when he realizes his friend is shaking harder than a leaf in the wind. Shane’s arms are pinning him against his chest, and Ryan feels like the stuffed animal a child would clutch if they were scared. Any attempts to talk to Shane are fruitless and Ryan struggles to find a way to calm his friend down. Seeing Shane so… afraid feels awful, like a gross mold growing in his stomach that just wants to infest him until Shane’s better.

Ryan wiggles one of his arms out and reaches up, gently stroking Shane’s hair back from his forehead. He keeps at it until Shane has stopped visibly shaking, his eyes slowly opening and seeing Ryan once again. Ryan only offers a faint smile and Shane closes his eyes again, this time breathing a sigh of relief through his nose.

“Hey Shane,” Ryan whispers. “I’m here for you man. Nothing’s gonna stop me from being here for you. You’re good, just stay with me.” His voice is as steady as a rock and as soothing as the ocean water on a hot summer day. Ryan’s surprised with himself, feeling much calmer than the situation should allow him. His fingers just continue threading through Shane’s hair and soon enough, Shane reopens his eyes and languidly blinks at him.

“...I was locked in my closet when I was a kid,” he whispers and Ryan’s heart aches for how soft and fragile his tone is. He attempts to sit up just a bit, where he’s resting his arms across Shane’s chest so they both can breathe a bit better. Shane allows it, his arms no longer a vice holding Ryan flush against him.

“My brother locked me in there, thinking it was funny but then forgot about going to his sports practice. Mom and Dad were at work, and I was left alone for hours. Hours, Ryan. I tried screaming until my voice was hoarse, I tried kicking down the door, I tried crying… Nothing worked. And I was a kid so everything in there was out to get me. My toys weren’t my friend anymore, my clothes just felt like someone trying to get me.” Shane closes his eyes and breathes in a shuddering breath. Ryan is hooked with every word, understanding finally blooming in his mind. God, what a shitty older brother, no wonder Shane had freaked out.

“My parents found me though, and grounded the fuck out my brother,” Shane says, obviously attempted to joke. Ryan grins back at him and laughs softly. They stare at each other for a second longer before Shane swallows and looks away.

“Ryan, I gotta tell you something,” Shane mumbles and Ryan’s struck with deja vu. Shane’s nervous energy swells in the dumbwaiter, nearly suffocating Ryan but he instinctually takes Shane’s hand and thumbs the back of it, waiting for him to continue.

“I… The entire reason I joined the ghost hunting club was so I could make fun of you guys, a-at first! At first. I thought it was funny people still believed in ghosts but then we started going on our investigations and… Honestly, I only wanted to stay for like a week at most, but then you started bringing me to places. And we just… I realized that…” Shane swallows thickly and finally manages to drag his eyes to meet Ryan’s.

“I realized that I really like you. Like, like like you.”

The dumbwaiter comes to a slow and gentle halt and Ryan’s heart does the same, freezing midbeat. His mind stops racing at a million miles per hour and suddenly everything around them is silent. Nothing to disturb them. Nothing to scare them. Just the two of them, stuck in a dumbwaiter, which isn’t the best time to confess to someone, but Shane was never the “best time” kind of guy to Ryan.

“I like you, Ryan Bergara. I knew that the second you screamed at a mouse running across the floor the first time we went ghost hunting,” Shane repeats, breaking the silence. The nervous energy is back and Ryan only sinks further down until he’s centimeters away from Shane’s face, which makes him finally shut up.

“Cool,” Ryan says and presses their lips together.

Shane’s lips are the slightest bit chapped but they feel soft against Ryan’s. Shane attempts to kiss back and Ryan smiles against the slightly awkward movements, guiding Shane into a real kiss, coaxing him into slow slides of their lips and the slightest teasing of tongue. Those arms wrap back around Ryan’s waist, holding him fast once again but for a completely different reason.

For a second they completely forget they’re stuck inside a dumbwaiter, happy to entertain and distract each other with kissing. Shane finds his own rhythm, much to Ryan’s joy and surprise, because his friend happens to be quite the kisser when he’s confident. He lets out a surprised noise when Shane starts to sit up, which is immediately followed by Shane knocking his head against the side of the box. They break apart as Shane winces and Ryan knocks his own head against the roof.

“Fuck this, let’s get out of here,” Ryan says and Shane nods in agreement. Ryan shines a light on the panel and finds the hole where it should be, lifting the panel up. They’re back on the first floor, the dumbwaiter leading to the kitchen. Ryan squeezes himself out and lets out a blessed sigh, his legs thankful for the stretch. Shane unfolds from the dumbwaiter behind him, making a noise as he cracks and pops things back into place.

“Fuck this place,” Shane says under his breath and Ryan nods in agreement, happy to make for the kitchen exit. They make it to the hallway before they’re caught by a beam of light.

“Hey! What’re you doing here?!” someone shouts behind the beam and Ryan freezes in place, suddenly unable to execute the exit plan he’d so carefully crafted. It’s only when Shane grabs his wrist and tugs does Ryan get the message.

“Run!” he shouts and they bolt through the rest of the house, across the large entryway, leaving the dusty portraits in their wake, Ryan throwing a middle finger at them as they burst through the grand doors. Fuck the Vanderbilt Mansion and most importantly, fuck that dumbwaiter. Fuck ghosts, fuck sneaking into place.

The mansion disappears as Ryan and Shane round corners and take shortcuts into streets they don’t quite know, but both sport large grins on their face. Somehow, they make it to the street corner by Ryan’s house before they stop, winded and wheezing against the stop sign there. Shane is clutching the pole above Ryan’s head and they both can’t stop laughing at the stupid shit they got caught doing. It’s like something out of a campy high school coming of age movie and Ryan can’t help but start composing a script for it all.

“Well, guess we can never go back there again,” Shane manages through his laughs and Ryan nods along, looking up at his friend.

Shane grins back at him, all charm and suave again. Ryan likes that part of him, as well as the scared Shane who clutched him like a lifeline, and the Shane who knows what to do and when to do it. Ryan really likes all parts of Shane.

“I like you too,” Ryan says and that shuts Shane’s laughter up, the man standing up straight like he’d been struck by lightning. Shane looks down at Ryan with stars in his eyes and Ryan grins back up at him.

“Cool,” Shane replies and leans down, Ryan catching his lips once again.

He can feel Shane’s smile against his lips, and he’s sure Shane can feel his smile too.

[sometimesrosy]

Do you think Clarke’s suicidal tendencies will ever be addressed more, or do you think they suitably were and resolved in s6?

I don’t know.

I think they spent quite a bit of time on them, going into her mindspace and having her give up and then having the Monty-in-her-mind argue out of them. I’m not sure her suicidal tendencies aren’t situation specific. After Praimfaya, with the eclipse psychosis, and in her mindspace when she had lost her body. Praimfaya and mindspace happened after she’d “lost.” When she thought there was nothing left. The psychosis was eclipse induced but I think it came from her self-hate and tendency to “bear it so they don’t have to.” She doesn’t just bear it, she takes on the blame. THAT I think has not been resolved.

I don’t think that, ultimately, Clarke IS actually suicidal. Her will to survive is too strong. She can’t give up, even when the world is dead or she is dead. She keeps fighting. Granted I am not an expert on the issues surrounding suicidal tendencies, but then, i’m not sure the writers are either, so I’m going to continue to assess it as a literary obstacle. 

I think it’s part of her personality taken to extremes. The part that Abby warned her about in the pilot, where she warned her about wanting to take care of everyone else. She kind of erases herself and her own needs. She bears it so they don’t have to and then she breaks... or almost breaks.

She keeps coming back though. That’s part of why she’s Wanheda. Death has been after her since the pilot, when she was sent to earth days before her birthday/execution. 

I feel like part of her story is death can’t take her without her permission. So the times when we are most worried about her survival are when she has lost her own will to survive. The psychosis was outside of that, but even that, she forced to quiet down. Murphy made her put her suicidal tendencies aside... why? To save Bellamy. Double whammy of taking care of her people and protecting Bellamy. She almost killed herself after praimfaya because she lost everything, right before she found a way out, the valley. She almost gave up in the mindspace, until Monty, the moral center of the story, appeared and told her no that was not doing the right thing. Even the finale of season 6, when she put a gun to her own head, that was not actually suicidal tendencies, but the last weapon she had in her arsenal, something she knew would make Madi fight, like she fought in the mindspace-- her love. 

Hmm. Death transformed by love. Death transformed by love? 

That...that fits the genre. Post apocalyptic science fiction survival show, right? Everything has died. This is about coming back from death. This is about rebirth. This is about transformation. This is about the redemption of humanity and of the various characters. This...fits Bellarke. 

In Day Trip, Bellamy was the one with suicidal tendencies, the one who thought he was the monster, and Clarke brought him back, told him he had worth and value, forgave him, fought for him, gave him dignity and even power. Ever since then, Bellamy has been trying to do the same for her. As she takes on more and more of the burden of the horrible things they have to, he has been supporting her and giving her absolution and bearing it with her and centering her and giving her something to believe in. Comparing the end of season 2 to the end of season 6, it’s finally working. She can’t bear it, in s2 she leaves. She can’t bear it, and in s6 he tells her they did do better and it was worth it and she comes back to him and they end the season in an embrace.

He’s done it. He’s transformed her pain through love, he’s brought her back from death, and given her the key to save everyone and stop the evil of the primes from spreading.

I don’t think Clarke’s suicidal tendencies will be resolved the way they might in therapy. None of these people get therapy. I think it might be resolved by her making the choice to choose life and pain and love and recognize it is not a weakness and is, instead a strength.

And... that has already happened in the s6 finale. 

I think s7 might be moving on. What happens AFTER death. After you survive death coming for you and you turn out to be stronger than the pain and loss and desire to give up??? Again. That fits the post apocalyptic genre. Get smacked down, get up again. Right? THAT’S survival. But we’re looking to do more than just survive, so what? 

So.

What?

So love. 

Love keeps you getting up again. Love keeps you fighting. Love gives you strength. Love gives you a reason to keep going. Love gives you a future... Clarke and Bellamy never think about the future. When people do think about the future, like Bryan or Kane or Monty, it’s a domestic future, a safe home, chickens, trade, children. Love.

I think.

This show.

Is about.

Love.

Love is how you survive.

Love is WHY you survive.

Clarke is Survival. Bellamy is Love. Bellamy is the key. Clarke is Commander of Death. Bellamy is Love. The head and the heart. Yin Yang, death and life. 

Hmm. Love alone doesn’t do it though, it can go off target and become cruel, off balance, like with Pike. It can also break, like with Octavia, who lost her love and then lost her brother in praimfaya. Survival alone can be too much to bear, which is why Clarke could go on when she found hope in the valley, and love for Madi, and why she kept the fantasy of Bellamy alive all that time. LOVE made it worthwhile. 

I went off track, didn’t I?

I think Clarke’s suicidal tendencies were addressed and I think they have been transformed through love, and Clarke has come back from the darkness with her superpower. Through love, humanity can be REBORN. That’s the trick about death, you see, it is the key to the life cycle. We die. We feed the earth. New life is born from our ashes. From the ashes we will rise. Love is the energy that keeps us moving.

If this is so, then I’m going back to my initial theory that I cam up with after Hakeldama in season 3, but taking it farther. So. Bellarke is endgame, because UNITY is one of the essential themes, and being the head and the heart, they need to be together to function. But to take it farther, this is not just about survival, this about love. Bellamy is the heart to Clarke’s survival head. Therefore the key to humanity’s redemption is the unification of survival with LOVE. Bellarke is the symbolic representation of the main goal, which is the REBIRTH of humanity. Humanity needs to find LOVE again. 

I suspect that within the survival and death of season 7, we’ll see love in all its forms, from the first flush of romance to long established couples to sibling love to platonic love to parental love. Because LOVE is how you redeem everyone. And yes Bellarke. 

I might also speculate, as I did before praimfaya, that Clarke will become pregnant. Because rebirth/fertility/pregnancy are symbolically linked and if Bellarke represents the redemption and salvation of humanity, (C=salvation and B=redemption,) then a pregnancy would represent the rebirth of humanity. In s5 we got the symbolism of Clarke being a mother with Madi, which means I was right about the symbols, but they had not achieved their redemption yet and so no true pregnancy/rebirth. This damn story is so slow burn. But if I’m correct, as I seem to be, then it is a distinct possibility that by the end of the series we’ll find out Clarke is pregnant with Bellamy’s child. It might be at the end of the season as part of the action (depending upon how time flows within the season actually and how soon they get together,) or it might be in a post script as a kind of flashforward like they did with s4, to have Clarke and Bellamy surviving in the after, with a family and a peaceful home, much like Harper and Monty got on the Eligius ship. Hard to know how it might go down, but the symbolism is stronger than it was in s4, and there is now a path to have it happen in the narrative. Plus they teased it with s4/s5 and Madi, especially with her looking like a child that could be theirs and Abby first seeing a picture of a five year old Madi who would be the age of a Bellarke child if there were one. 

this... this did not go where i expected it to go.