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oneoftheextras · 4 years ago

Text

Colour Changer | two

masterlist | tip jar

warnings: +18, jealousy, verbal fighting, alcohol, angst & bit o’ drama (also endeavour if that needs to be put as a warning)

word count: 4.4k

part 1 | part 2 |

Things were good with Keigo for a while, when you both had a day off of work you would spend hours watching movies and doing all the couplely things that you would roll your eyes to.

That was before he stopped turning up to your dates, before he stopped sitting at the bar during your shifts to help them go by quicker, and before he no longer replied to your texts.

It had been 3 weeks since you heard from him, his last response to you was “Yeah” and nothing else. You had called and text him multiple times since, but he stopped reading them in the first week.

It was exactly 3 days ago when you sent him one last text asking if you were over and he hadn’t responded - you could only take that as a ‘yes’.

The thought of something happening to him during a patrol crossed your mind, but you’d seen through social media and the news that he’d been going out to parties and had been seen recently. There was no excuse you could have given him, he was ignoring you.

Trying to savour the last of your pride, you blocked his number. You weren’t interested in anything he had to say.

At least you still had your job. You’d actually picked up more shifts at the bar since your ‘break up’ to try and keep yourself busy, there was something about spending time alone in your apartment that reminded you of him.

It hurt, you weren’t going to lie to yourself, it probably hurt more than it should have done. But this was the first time you had let down your guard for someone, and this was how they treated you.

You tried not to think about it.

It was your 9th consecutive shift at the bar and some of your regulars had started to notice that you were working more than normal, as well as your boss.

“You working more shift’s has actually improved our business, a lot of the customers are showing up more just because you’re here more often” they had said before the start of your shift, then they proceeded to slide your pay check across the table to you.

When you opened it up and saw that your pay rate had increased, you opened your mouth to ask if there was a mistake, you didn’t want them on your ass about it later down the line.

“You earned it” they said, giving you a pat on the back as they left the bar in your hands. It was a Thursday night, so you were in charge of a small team, mainly first year college kids trying to pay rent.

This shift was going on as normally as any other, when 10pm struck the normal crew of Heroes strolled in, probably wanting to relax from their hard day of patrols and fighting.

“Endeavour, you’re looking as happy as ever” you joked with the man sitting at the bar, he grumbled slightly as you instinctively started making his usual. “What’s got you looking extra gloomy today?” you asked him, just wanting some conversation out of someone over the age of 18.

“Paperwork” he mumbled before taking the freshly made drink from your hands and knocking it back, apparently it had really been a bad day. “Oh, ew” you tried to sympathise with him, “We’ve got this whole charity Gala coming up soon and for some reason it’s fallen on me to organise it” by the time he had finished explaining he had finished his drink.

Almost like a conveyer belt, as soon as the glass touched the counter, you had already scooped it up and started giving him a refill. “Actually that reminds me-” he said, wiping away the residue of alcohol that had fallen onto his beard “-are you free this Saturday?” he made eye contact with you, something Endeavour rarely did. You felt a chill go down your spine.

Mentally going through your calendar, you remembered your boss forcing you to take the weekend off, something about labour law and you not being legally allowed to work that many days.

“I might be” you side eyed him as you put his second drink down, “Why? Are you trying to get me alone?” you casually raised an eyebrow at him, it had been so long since you had flirt with anyone, the feeling was strange but not so completely alien to you.

To your surprise, a deep chuckle and a slight smile came out of him, “Someone else has organised the catering and they’re insisting they bring their own bartender”, as soon as he said the last word you knew where this was going, “I don’t trust them, I’d rather have someone I know is capable” he never broke eye contact with you.

Immediately you were trying to think of an excuse to say no, you wished you had said you were working “I-” you started but was interrupted “Hawks will be there-” now it was your turn to interrupt him by groaning “Please don’t talk to me about him” you rolled your eyes.

Honestly, it was the first time you had heard his name since everything, “I thought you guys had a thing going on?” Endeavour asked, yet again, finishing his drink - you had no idea where he put all that alcohol. “Yeah, well, so did I. Until he ghosted me” you weren’t exactly sure why you were being so open with the number one Hero, but here you were.

“I’m sorry” he sounded as though he actually meant it, if you weren’t already looking at him, you would have doubted it left his mouth. “I still need someone, and with you I’d know the event was going to be a success, I’ll pay you more than you get here” his tone was still soft, as though he was walking on glass, but he knew what he wanted.

Poking your tongue out between your lips to wet them before you spoke, you feigned cockiness “Actually, I just got a raise, apparently people come here to see me”, before you had even finished your sentence, he had raised an eyebrow as though you were insulting him.

“Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll double it” straightened his back as though now that he was talking business the niceties were gone. “Double a shift’s wage? That’s not worth-“ he cut you off, “Double your yearly, for one night” he folded his arms.

If you had been drinking something, you’d have spat it out, but instead your eyes flickered in disbelief and your mouth parted slightly.

Smirking, knowing he’d basically won you over already, he wrote down the details on a napkin and handed it to you along with 50 thousand Yen - before you could question it, he spoke up “It’s a black suit event so get something nice for yourself”.

He didn’t wait for confirmation before changing the subject, at least he kept you company for the rest of the night.

You’d taken Endeavour’s advice and went shopping for a new black dress for the Gala, you had to at least look the part even if you didn’t want to be there. The dress you decided on was tight and hugged you in all the right places, it was very flattering, you had debated on whether or not to go for a nice dress, but you didn’t want to waste the money he’d given you.

Before you could really prepare yourself, you were setting up your space in the huge Gala hall. You’d turned up early so you could add some finishing touches to your bar before all the Heroes started turning up, you’d be more efficient if you knew where every type of alcohol was.

You’d taken the liberty of bringing some of the cocktail shakers from your work so you were familiar with the tools, but they had already supplied you with enough for a small team. Although, when the clock rolled around to 10 minutes before the Heroes were supposed to turn up, there was no sign of any other bartenders.

If Endeavour had hired you and only you, he was going to get an earful, Number One Hero or not.

That was exactly what he had done.

At first you slightly panicked, wondering how the hell you were going to manage so many orders all at once, but there were about 30 Champagne Waitresses making their rounds on the floor that kept everyone away from you.

Not to say that you weren’t extremely busy, but you were able to serve the Heroes fast enough that you were able to put on a bit of a performance, doing your normal tricks of tapping the cocktail shaker and changing the liquid contents as it was being poured into people’s glasses.

Like normal, the onlookers were amazed.

It still befuddled you that in a world of crime-fighting Heroes, someone who could change colours was something to gape at. Your quirk was more for show than practicality really.

When the majority had some type of alcoholic drink in their hand, the speeches started, everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen to the grey haired man talk about the charity that this whole thing was for and give a list of thank you’s that seemed to go on forever.

Meanwhile, you decided to utilise this time to clean down your bar and restock some of the empty bottles, you weren’t quite sure what was going on with Gang Orca but he’d nearly finished a whole bottle of vodka by himself so you were keeping an eye on him. He seemed completely fine with no sign of intoxication, maybe his huge form was absorbing the alcohol.

You were sure as soon as this presentation had finished you were going to be swamped, even you were feeling the need for a drink, and oh boy were you right.

The moment the dim lights were brought back up and the music was turned back on there wasn’t a single space by the bar that wasn’t full. You expected people to start getting impatient because they were having to wait for their drinks, but strangely they were more than happy to wait and chat to you and each other, the amount of tips you were getting tonight would be enough to pay your rent for 2 months.

After the swarm of people were served and you had a second to breathe, you froze, golden eyes staring awkwardly at you “Shot of tequila” he bluntly said, he didn’t even have the manners to ask like everyone else was. You gave him a similarly cold response by just nodding and putting the shot glass on the metal surface with a little bit too much force and pouring the golden liquid into it, you also gave him a wedge of lime and gave him the salt shaker.

Without saying anything, he handed you the money and took his shot. You both seemed to breathe a breath of relief when the Number One Hero parted the line of people and approached the bar, you smiled maybe too much upon seeing him.

“Endeavour!” Hawks exclaimed when he saw his partner, “Have a shot with me!” he continued and you instinctively started preparing his normal tumbler of whiskey. Enji grumbled at the young heroes request, you would have died on the spot if you saw Endeavour do a shot.

After placing the his empty glass on the wood in front of him, you quickly washed your hands in the miniature sink the event space had provided you, dried them on your small towel, and scooped up three cubes of ice.

Both men looked at you with intent, you had served them enough for them to know this wasn’t your normal routine.

You allowed one cold cube to run down your palm and to the tip of your fingers, the second before it left your touch, you turned the white object into a gorgeous red. Uncurling your pinkie and ring-finger, you let the other two pieces do the same thing - changing the second one to orange and then the last one to yellow.

A small crowd of a few customers were ogling at what you were doing as though they had never seen it before, or it may have been because someone was paying attention to the Number One Hero despite everyone’s fear of him.

It was nice to see him smiling, but it was even better to see the faint grimace on Keigo’s face. Good, you thought. After the way he treated you, you wanted him to know what he was missing.

Endeavour reached out for the glass but before he could grab hold of it you slapped his hand playfully, you heard a few faint gasps in the miniature crowd that had formed, and a couple of terrified glances towards the Pro Hero on your behalf.

“Be patient” you smirked at him, you had to admit it to yourself, you were being very brave. You barely knew this man apart from his drink order, being so informal with him was a huge risk as you didn’t know how he would react.

He chuckled at your coyness, and your heart relaxed.

Cupping your hand in front of his face, you poured his favourite whiskey into your hand and let it run through your fingers, you held the bottle high enough so people could see the dark brown liquid flowing out of the nozzle and then quickly drizzle out between your fingers as a golden-yellow with bright red swirls.

Once you had poured the right amount into the glass, you pushed the tumbler towards him and washed the remaining alcohol off your hand before it became sticky.

“I’m surprised he let her do that” someone mumbled a little bit too loudly, then another voice piped up “It’s not very hygienic”. Endeavour was happily sipping at his drink while Keigo was doing his best not to make eye contact with you still, this was too good of an opportunity to give up, so you mustered up all your courage and said in the most confident tone you could “It’s okay, he knows where my hands have been”.

If you weren’t mistaken, everyone inhaled sharply at the exact same time, all but Enji who side-eyed Keigo and then put his eyes back on you with a knowing glint - something told you that he knew what you were trying to do and understood his role. Maybe your hands would stop shaking sometime soon now that you knew he was going along with it.

“Thank you for the dress by the way” you added, gently placing your hand on his arm for a second before going back to serving the line of customers you had, you felt as though there was enough of an audience to make your point, “It fits you nicely” was all he added, it was more of a response than you were expecting.

Deciding it was probably best to not push your luck too much with the flame hero, you turned your attention to the multiple pairs of eyes looking at you “What do you guys think?” doing a little twirl with what little space you had, of course the chorus of men erupted into whoops and cheers- you think you even heard Present Mic yelling “Hot” from one of the other stands.

Satisfied with the scene you had caused, you went back to pouring drinks, using all sorts of tricks you’d never been able to do before. You changed the whole bar to whatever colour the current customer wanted, even going as far as to change your own hair colour to gain praise from them.

Honestly, you were starting to feel like your old self again, that was until you saw something small and red weave it’s way through the different pumps and towards you.

Slamming your hand down on the bar and hard as you could, you crushed the delicate feather under your force, “If I see another feather come across this line-“ you drew and invisible line across the wood with your finger “-I’ll cut you off” you said bluntly, throwing the feather back towards it’s owner.

He opened his mouth to say something but you interrupted him, “Do you want to get thrown out?”, he chuckled to himself slightly and shook his head “Like you could” his tone was playful yet arrogant, “I don’t have to” you put the emphasis on ‘I’ and shifted your gaze toward Enji who had coincidentally caught your eye, he very lightly smiled at you and gave a small gesture that you assumed was a wave.

That was the last straw, Keigo’s tone shifted and he stormed away from the bar, the entire night passed and you didn’t see him again. A part of you was glad, you didn’t have to keep looking over your shoulder, but that pit in your stomach was back, and just as you had started to feel better.

On the plus side, you didn’t have to clean and close the bar, the venue had hired some cleaners to take care of all the mess after everyone was done. Thank God.

The walk home was quiet and lonely, it was about 3am and most people had gone to sleep hours ago, so the ominous hum of streetlights really put you on edge- that, and that nervous feeling of being watched.

You tried to hurry along the uneven ground as quickly as you could, not wanting to tempt fate too much; how ironic would it have been? To be attacked by a Villain after spending an evening with Heroes.

A gust of wind blew your hair into your face and blocked your vision entirely for a few seconds, it was quickly followed by a force connecting with your back and then wrapping around your front.

You felt your feet leave the ground and the harsh whistle of wind rushing past your ears deafened you - your senses were blocked off. The wind was too loud to hear, and your hair acted like a self-inflicted blindfold, you were so disorientated that you thought you were going to be sick.

When your feet finally touched solid ground and the force holding you ease up, you stumbled forwards and fell to your knees, hands spread out in front of you. “What’s going on with you and Endeavour?” you heard a familiar voice say from behind you, you could not believe this.

“What?!” you exclaimed, aggressively turning yourself so you were now half laid down on the floor, you saw Hawk’s standing in front of his open window with the moonlight shining behind him casting a silhouette. “You kidnapped me to ask me about Endeavour?” you vocalised how ridiculous the situation was.

Hawk’s folded his arms in frustration, “You seemed pretty cosy with him earlier” he said bluntly, “So what if I was?” you bit back, your emotions were high and you didn’t know which voice to listen to - you were pissed off beyond your control, hurt and mildly frightened.

You knew Hawk’s wouldn’t hurt you, but the amount of hate in his eyes made you question him for a moment.

“Is that how it is? You moved on from to my partner?” he sounded disgusted with you and to be completely honest you were glad, he had hurt you so much in such a short amount of time it felt as though he was getting what he deserved.

“What do you care?” you snarled at him and turned your head away, not wanting to look at him. “What do I-?” he started but interrupted himself by rubbing his hand down his face. “Of course I care!” he extended his arms towards you as you dragged yourself up off the floor and brushed the flakes of dust and dirt off your new dress.

“If you cared about me you wouldn’t have left” you mumbled to yourself, not intending for him to hear but it seems regardless of whether or not he heard, he wanted you to say it again “What did you say?!” he raised his voice, to match his aggression you raised your voice louder “If you cared about me you wouldn’t have left!”.

There was silence for a moment, no words, just the sound of heavy breathing as you both decided whether or not it was worth carrying on this subject.

“Take me home” you gave up, exasperated at the situation. All you had wanted for the last couple of weeks was to hear from Keigo, and for him to tell you that you were still together, but now that you were actually in front of him, you wanted nothing more than to disappear.

He took a few steps towards you, “No-” he forced the air out of his throat like a bullet coming out of a gun, “-Not until you admit it” he continued, his hostile tone never wavering. “Admit what?” you laughed dryly, “Are you fucking Endeavour?” he asked bluntly and your jaw almost hit the floor.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no I’m not” you answered him honestly, folding your own arms and glancing around towards the front door, if he wouldn’t take you home you would have to take yourself.

“How is it none of my business?” he snapped at you, “Because you left me!” you shouted over the top of him before he managed to finish his sentence, “I gave you every part of me and you couldn’t even be bothered to send a goodbye text” you finally let out what you felt like you had been holding onto for your whole life.

Taking a deep breath in and then with a sharp exhale you said, in a calmer tone “I’m leaving”, without giving him the option to respond you marched your way towards the apartment door.

Before you could take hold of the handle you felt your shoulder being pulled around and your body being pushed against the door, the next thing you saw were two golden eyes staring back at you .

“Let me go” you said through gritted teeth, “Not until you’ve listened to me” he was talking in a hushed voice as though all the anger and upset had left him in that instant, “I don’t want to-” you started but it was his turn to interrupt you, “You have no idea how dangerous my job is, the type of people I’m working with-” he stopped mid-sentence to glance around the room as though he was being watched.

“I was there every night, I watched you walk home from work to make sure you were okay” his voice was starting to crack and you could see water starting to well up in his bottom eye lid, “I missed you so much, but I had to keep you safe”.

Watching him come undone in front of you, you felt a pit fall in your stomach as extreme guilt flushed over you.

Your body moved without you asking it to and before you knew it your hands were wrapped in his hair and your lips were against his.

The kiss started as soft and gentle, but as soon as the shock had left his system he cupped your face in his hand and started kissing you as though it was the last time.

Things got heated very quickly, Keigo pushed the hem of your dress up until it was bunched up at your waist and wasted no time shuffling your underwear down for you to step out of.

Unbuckling his belt like he wouldn’t live to see tomorrow, he let his jeans fall to the floor as he picked you up by your thighs and pushed you further into the door. His kisses became more erratic as he lowered you onto his cock.

The euphoria you both felt as the familiar sensation of him filling you again flooded to your brain, you gripped his shoulders tighter to try and stay stable. Instantly he started moving his hips, dragging himself in and out of you at a rapid pace.

The apartment was filled with a mixture of Keigo’s grunts, your moans and the door sounding as though it was on the brink of death. “I missed you so much” he mumbled against your neck as he dug his fingers into your bare thighs, his thrusts were ruthless and you could feel that you were getting close to your orgasm.

“I missed you too” you managed to breath out in between moans. You could feel the friction of your back rubbing against his door and you knew you would be waking up with a bruise. But you didn’t care.

Before either of you could say anything else you felt your walls clench down around him, emphasising every muscle and vein in his member, Ah, fuck” he growled, pushing himself even further into you as you let him pound you through your orgasm.

He grunted a couple of times and his mouth hung open, he moved one of his hands to hold your shoulder down as the pressure of his chest against yours held you in place. “I love you” he confessed, locking eyes with you, you were still panting from your own high so you weren’t able to respond, “I lo-” he started to say before he snapped his hips against yours and you felt him cum inside of you.

Flopping his head forward so your foreheads were touching, neither of you moved to allow the moment to last as long as it could- neither of you wanting your bubble of bliss to be popped.

“I mean it” he barely even whispered as he pulled his head away so he could look you in the eye, “I do love you” he repeated himself. Your heart leapt, your relationship hadn’t gone on long enough for either of you to have said the ‘L’ word yet.

But being away from him these last couple of weeks solidified how you truly felt, “I love you too” you smiled at him as he kissed your forehead.

Taglist:

@mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law @hereticpriest @enagmaticether @anxiousgoddest @kodzu-ken @moonnei @diesinspanishbcimhispanic

#hawks x reader #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #colour changer #oneoftheextras

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1dffexchange · 6 years ago

Photo

Uncomfortable Silences

To: Vicki @angstarella

From: Liv @midnightcities

Summary: It’s been 927 days since Rowie messily ended her two year relationship with Harry. 659 days since Harry Styles bared his soul and shared it for the world to hear in the form of a best-selling debut album. 173 days since his number had flashed across the screen of her phone. But finally, Rowie was starting to feel her sense of normalcy return.

It was any other Saturday morning. A half eaten piece of Marmite toast lay forgotten on the kitchen counter along with the dregs of my morning coffee. There was a haphazard pile of trousers at the foot of my bed that I had created when searching for my favourite black pair. My 10 minute snooze turned into almost 25 minutes and I was now on a time crunch to pull myself together for my Saturday shift. Despite promising myself that I would go to bed at an acceptable hour last night, I fell prey to my best friend’s masterful coercing and stayed out far longer than I originally intended. You think by now I would know better.

I was in my bathroom, scraping my hair back into a bun, when I heard the buzz of my phone. Jules, the aforementioned best friend I’m sure, checking in to either complain about her killer headache or to help fill in her hazy memory. This had become a bit of a ritual for us.

One last glance in the mirror and I deemed myself suitable enough to face the horde of Saturday shoppers. I flicked the bathroom light off and grabbed my phone that I had earlier tossed onto my unmade bed. The phone screen lit up as I brought it to eye level. I immediately dropped the phone back onto the bed when I saw the notification:

+44 7106 555555 iMessage

I had finally deleted that number almost a year ago; that’s the best way to move on according to all the break-up articles and books I have pored over the past 2 and a bit years. They don’t tell you how to delete a number from your memory though. I haven’t seen it grace my phone screen in quite some time, the longest stint yet actually. And still, it made my heart stutter erratically and my palms clammy.

What does he want now? Has something happened? Work. I haven’t seen much of him online lately. Who was that last girl he was linked to again? Work. Is this going to be some half-assed, drunk apology again? I need to go to work.

I broke myself out of my impending trainwreck of thoughts, forcing myself to throw all my effort into moving my body. I snatched up my bag and grabbed my phone once again. My eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to see that damn number as I shoved it to the depths of my bag. Out of sight out of mind, right?

****

Waterstones was a staple part of my childhood London visits, so landing a job here in my first year of studying was a dream. I was lucky enough to take up residence at the Gower Street store. It always was my favourite, with its twisting shelves and hidden nooks, and it’s a bonus that it’s only a 5 minute walk from main campus for those days when I have class. As a child I always thought this would be the perfect place to play a game of hide-and-seek. And on days like today where I would rather do anything than enthusiastically suggest a middle-aged woman some egregious romance novel, the labyrinth nature of the store was appreciated.

I was tucked away on the third floor, shelving some second-hand Philosophy books. I studied each title intently, skimmed each books synopsis, and threw all my mental energy into deciphering what the philosophical knowledge each book was actually trying to impart. The upper levels of the store are the perfect study sanctuary; I have spent many hours holed up in here writing last minute essays. But today the comfortable silence was not good for my current mental state.

I had thrown my bag into the designated employee locker out the back, my phone remaining ignored in the depths. I’m sure I felt it vibrate again when I was on the tube but it stayed unopened and unchecked. I can’t do this again, I really can’t put myself through… that again.

“Um… Excuse me…” A quiet voice caught me off guard.

I turned, book still in hand, to see three girls standing awkwardly near the W-Z section of Social Sciences. They looked a little young to be browsing up here, but I reserved my judgements. “Yes, how may I help you today?” I flashed my customer service smile.

The girl in the middle opened her mouth before snapping it shut again. The one on the left nudged her, giving her a look of slight impatience. Odd.

“Are… are you…” She attempted again.

Now the one on the right shook her head and pushed herself forward. “Are you Rowena Porter?”

I felt my heart begin to stutter, my stomach clench. “Excuse me?”

“Rowie…” the girl in the middle whispered, “she likes to be called Rowie.”

“Whatever,” she shrugged, “are you Rowie Porter?”

“I’m sorry,” my cheeks felt hot and I could feel my hands starting to shake, “but I’m afraid I can’t help you with that.”

The girl on the right took a couple steps toward me, clearly she was the most confident of the three. “Harry Styles has been seen coming here a lot lately. And then I remembered reading on Twitter that you work here. Has he been visiting you? Are you back together?”

My breath hitched. Harry was here? When? Why? Was it to see me? Surely out of all the Waterstones in London he wouldn’t choose this one for his bookish needs. It can’t be a mere coincidence.

The three girls stared at me expectantly, as if I was about to really about to reveal some intimate, albeit non-existent, love-life details. I placed the book in my hand on the shelf adjacent to me and took a steading breath. “I’m sorry girls, but Rowena quit working here a while back. I’m afraid I can’t help you any more than that.”

“Oh, so you just happen to look like her?” The girl challenged.

“Coincidence.”

“But--”

“Look,” my tone had become considerably more clipped, “if you have any book related questions I am happy to help you out. Otherwise I need to continue on with my job.” I picked up the half-empty box of Philosophy books that still needed unpacking and headed down the aisle and away from the girls. I prayed that they weren’t following me. It took every ounce of my self-control to not completely blow up at them and tell them, in the nicest way possible, to sod off. But now I was throwing all my focus into not breaking down in the middle of the Greek and Roman Classics section.

I pounded down the three flights of stairs, determined to hold myself together to at least the back storage area. My head was swimming, like I had just thrown back five consecutive shots of Jäger, and my face prickling with sweat.

Just as I was about the push past the registers, my unstable hands got the better of me and I dropped the box, the books tumbling out. “Shit.” I scrambled onto my knees to pile the books back up but tears began to blur my vision and I could feel the stares of customers. Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together.

“Rowie, are you okay?”

A pair of hands shot out and began haphazardly throwing the books back into the box. The hands belonged to Will, one of my co-workers and probably one of the only people I considered an actual friend on staff. I sat back, letting him collect the last few books, and willed my hands to stop trembling and for my tears to not spill over. Will stood and lifted the box up and behind the counter before offering me his hand. I hoped he couldn’t feel the stickiness of perspiration on my palms. “Alright?”

I shook my head. “I need to go.”

His eyebrows furrowed in obvious concern. “Do you want me to call someone? You look shaken up… What happened?”

Again, I shook my head. “Who’s on today?”

“Mara.” One small win, she was the kindest of all the store managers. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind my early departure.

“Can you please just tell her I had a family emergency or something. I really need to get out of here.” I pushed past Will, past the registers, and burst through the back storage area doors.

“Is this because of Harry?” I hadn’t realised Will had followed me.

I whirled back around meeting his worried gaze. “What?”

“He was here... A few days ago.” He spoke cautiously, he could clearly tell I was on the verge of breaking. “He asked for you.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“Rowie, why would I? Look at the state of you right now, I wasn’t about to do that to you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, counted to 10, and forced myself to take some calming breaths. Anything to stop the rising panic. “You did the right thing,” I spoke finally. I could see Will let out a small breath in relief. “I still need to deal with this though, please tell Mara for me.”

“Row--”

“No,” I cut him off before he could go on his usual tirade of why my ex is not worth my time, something that I normally do appreciate. “Just… Let me deal with this. I’ll talk to you later.”

Will pursed his lips, I could tell that he was struggling to keep his opinions quiet. He merely turned and walked back out to the store front. I knew he wasn’t happy, but that was something I needed to push aside for now.

I turned and made my way to the staff locker and retrieved my bag. Time to face the music. I grabbed my phone. The screen lit as I brought it to view. Four messages. All from that same number. My thumb hovered over the notification, my stomach churning at the thought of what could be contained in those four messages. I unlocked my phone.

+44 7106 555555

(7:42 am): Rowie, I know you don’t want to hear from me but can you please give me a call. Harry.

(8:09 am): Please Row

(8:47 am): im desperate

(8:48 am): i need you.

I stared at the four little blue bubbles, unable to process them. A weird sense of calm had blanketed me. My previously hammering heart had slowed, my hands were still, my breath even. Almost robotically, I dropped my phone back into my bag and made a beeline straight out of Waterstones and into the chaos of Gower Street.

im desperate. i need you. im desperate. i need you. im desperate. i need you. im desperate. i need you.

The words flashed over and over in my mind with my every footfall. My thoughts wandered to every possible scenario as to what he could need. A jostle from a stranger awoke me from my abstraction and I realised I was already on the Euston Square platform. A train had just pulled up, my train I confirmed when I glanced over at the schedule. I quickly slipped on just as the doors closed and found a free seat. I sat rigidly, the sway of the carriage slowly pulling me back into my spiralling thoughts.

****

It felt like time was moving funny. My usual 25 minute journey felt like it was over in less than 5. The encounter with those girls this morning felt like it happened hours ago when it has barely been over an hour. That weird sense of calm I felt earlier was ebbing away and I could feel the panic begin to nestle it’s way back in. And the crowded train platform wasn’t helping me to keep my impending panic attack at bay. I needed a voice of reason, someone to help guide me through. I needed Jules.

I moved with the commuters but reached into my bag for my phone, praying she would be awake. Just as I unlocked my phone though, it began vibrating. Jules’ name appeared on the screen; what are the chances. I answered immediately.

“Oh, Rowie. Thank god,” Jules’ breathless voice greeted me, “I thought you wouldn’t pick up because of work.”

“Yeah, I was there but I left. I was just about to ring you actually. Is everything alright with you?” I tapped my Oyster card against the scanner, keen to get away from the claustrophobic nature of the London Underground.

“Wait, where are you now?”

“Just got off the tube, heading home. There was… An incident at work.” I finally stepped out on the street, the fresh air felt good.

“Home?! Oh god. Listen Rowie, I’m so sorry but I didn’t know what to do.”

Jules sounded truly panicked now, enough for me to stop my brisk walking pace and throw all my attention into the call. “What do you mean you didn’t know what to do? What is going on?”

“It’s-- It’s Harry.”

My stomach dropped, for the umpteenth time today. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know! He rang me, I don’t even know how he has my number. He was asking for you, but he didn’t sound right. He had been to your flat, your old one though, didn’t even know you had moved.” Of course he doesn’t, he wouldn’t know anything that has happened to me in the past two years. “I wasn’t sure if it was an emergency, I didn’t know how to help.”

“It’s okay, you did the right thing by talking to him.”

“No, Rowie I-- Oh, I told him where you live now. Row, I think he’s waiting for you there.”

****

The last time I counted, it had been 643 days since I had seen Harry in person. That’s just over two years. And it has essentially taken me up until now to feel that sense of normalcy return which I craved back when I first ended our relationship. But seeing him sat on my flat’s front step, even from a distance, made me realise that no amount of time is going to stop that visceral, all-consuming feeling he has always given me.

He was hunched over, a beanie pulled down tight over his curls. It wasn’t even cold out yet, but I assume he’s wearing it to stay somewhat hidden. He fiddled with his phone and then tucked it away, tugged at the sleeves of the black sweater he was wearing, clasped and unclasped his hands. I could tell he was nervous. And judging from the twitches of my hands, so was I.

I crossed the street and approached him cautiously. He was so consumed with his thoughts he didn’t even hear me approach. I cleared my throat, crossing my arms in a way to steel myself.

Harry’s head jerked up, recognition immediately flooding his muted green eyes. “Rowie…” He stood. I forgot how tall he was.

“Hello, Harry.” I spoke quietly. I was surprised my tone hid my tumbling emotions so well.

“It’s…” he exhaled, “it’s so good to see you.”

I rolled my lips and nodded slowly, unsure of what to say.

“Can I come up?”

No, no, no, no. My flat was one of my only Harry-free zones. No memories were attached. Everything had been removed that reminded me of him. Seeing him up there now would bring up a slew of problems. “I don’t think that would be best,” I spoke carefully. I was still trying to gauge where he was at mentally right now; he seemed off.

“You know I wouldn’t normally insist but I think it would be best. If someone spots me here you’re gonna be dealing with… Well you know the routine.”

He was right. And especially after what happened this morning, the last thing I need is more obsessive fans waiting outside my flat. “Fair enough.”

I unfolded my arms and grabbed my keys from my bag. Harry followed me up the few steps and watched as I unlocked the door. My hands visibly shook as I twisted the key. I know he noticed but he said nothing. In silence, we walked up the four flights of stairs and down the hall to flat 408. I let us in, promptly locking the door behind us.

My current flat was quite different from the one Harry had known. Paying my way through a Masters degree and some other unexpected financial problems at home had forced me to downsize, coupled with the fact that I was desperate to leave those walls which were filled to the brim with memories of us.

I watched as Harry’s eyes scanned the space - the cramped kitchen with the leaky tap, the speckled counter that doubled as a dining table, the IKEA sofa I had picked up on sale last winter. I knew my living space was a stark contrast to what Harry was likely used to and I couldn’t take his scrutinising gaze any longer. I knew my somewhat cool exterior was beginning to crack, the unwanted feelings of anxiety pushing to burst through and consume me. I needed some relief.

I left Harry standing awkwardly near the doorway and stepped into the kitchen. Dumping my bag on the counter, I began searching through the drawers for what I knew I needed. I was beginning to feel light-headed again, my whole body falling prey to the shakes. Tucked snuggly next to a half-used pack of Panadol and some Strepsils was the bottle I was searching for. The safety cap proved too difficult for my unsteady fingers though. I let out a small groan of frustration.

“You need a hand?” Harry carefully took the bottle from my hands, expertly twisting the top off. He handed it back, but not before peeking at the label, something I wish he didn’t do. “Alprazolam? Isn’t that--”

“Xanax, yes.” I tossed back two pills dry, desperate for their calming effect.

“Oh. Uh, you should be careful with those. They can be addictive and--”

“Yes, I know that Harry,” I snapped. “Not that it’s any of your business but they’ve been prescribed and I only take them when the situation calls for it.”

My abrupt tone took Harry by surprise, judging from the way he shifted away from me. I could see he was chewing on the inside of his cheek, unsure of what to say. I felt a twinge of guilt at my unwarranted outburst.

“It helps with my panic attacks,” I said quietly after a few moments. “I haven’t had a full blown attack in a while though. I’m good at knowing the signs now. Shaky hands, erratic heart rate, feeling faint.”

He nodded slowly. “I didn’t know… How long have you been dealing with them?”

I sighed heavily. I knew Harry wasn’t going to like my answer. “I had my first one in 2015. They were at their worst in 2016 though. That’s when I got medical help.”

“2015… Wait…” I watched as Harry connected the dots. I moved out of the kitchen and towards the sofa, as if putting some distance between us would soften the blow of seeing his reaction. “That’s when we were together. You were having panic attacks and didn’t even tell me?!”

“They weren’t a big deal, I didn’t want to worry you.”

Harry ripped his beanie off and slammed it down on the kitchen counter. I jumped, both at the sound and Harry’s sudden, extreme mood change. “God, Rowie,” he spat bitterly, “I was your fucking boyfriend. I was supposed to worry about you. To help you!”

“It was almost 4 years ago Harry—“

“So?!” He cut me off. “I had some right to know what you were dealing with!”

I could feel my face heating up, not due to panic but because of anger this time. “What I was dealing with? What I was dealing with? You wouldn’t have been able to understand Harry.”

“Try me.”

“You were born for this life Harry, an entertainer at heart able to bounce through life without worrying about what millions of people around the world think of you. But not me. Seeing my name, my personal life, splashed across social media and in news articles. People commenting about me, online and in person. People saying I don’t deserve you. I couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Harry’s hands were clenched on the counter, frustration radiating off him. “For two years I have sat and analysed every facet of our relationship, wandering what I did wrong. Repeated that day you ended everything over and over. I wrote a whole fucking album for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” I interjected harshly.

“And if you had just told me these things at the time I could’ve helped you through it. Together, like a couple is supposed to!”

I shook my head. “I did what had to be done. It was the right thing for us. And for you.”

“No, it wasn’t. You broke my heart, Rowena.” His voice broke and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I was rendered speechless. My full name hung in the air between us, an uncomfortable silence smothering the room. It seems silly to be caught off guard by my own name, but I’ve never heard him say it. I’ve always been Rowie, his Rowie.

As we both stood there, kitchen counter separating us, staring but remaining unmoving, I felt as though I was truly seeing Harry for the first time today. With the beanie off I could see his hair looked unusually unkempt, his curls limp as though they needed a good wash. His skin had broken out, which I knew only happened when he was stressed, and the dark circles under his eyes confirmed that suspicion. His hands which were always adorned with an assortment of rings were bare. Even his clothes looked disheveled. This wasn’t the Harry I knew standing before me.

“Harry…” I said softly, breaking the silence, “what’s really going on? Why did you need to see me?”

I watched as he hunched over the counter, resting his head in his hands. His fingers twined into his hair, gripping at the root. As he ran his hands through the flat curls, he brought his gaze up to meet mine. His eyes had filled with tears and I felt that immediate pang in my heart.

Without inhibition, I joined Harry back in the kitchen and gathered him up in my arms, bringing his head down to the crook of my neck. As I stroked the nape of his neck, I felt his arms twist around my waist and pull me tight. I knew he wasn’t crying, but I could feel every ounce of emotion through his embrace. And suddenly I felt at peace, and not because of the meds. I hated that it felt so right to be here in this moment, that the one thing that could stabilise me was the thing I drove away years ago.

Harry loosened his grip and I took it as a sign to pull away slightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I furrowed my brows in confusion. “For what? I’m the one who should be apologising for being shitty and leaving without a proper explanation.”

“I should’ve seen it, the struggles you were having. You’re right, this life can be hard. And it was silly of me to just assume that you were coping with it fine. You say that I don’t worry about what people think of me, I don’t. But that’s after years of me being so caught up in it. I had to learn to ignore and move past the crap.”

“I should have told you though…” I said softly.

He drew his hands away from my waist, instead clasping my own hands in his and bringing them up to his chin. I felt the softest graze of his lips as he stared down at me, my heart skittered ever so slightly. “I really miss you, Row. Everyday.”

I nodded, unsure if I could trust myself to string together a coherent sentence.

He sighed heavily, dropping my hands and taking a step back to lean against my oven. I immediately missed the contact. “In 47 days I’m supposed to be announcing my upcoming album. Which means I have about 42 days to get the tracks laid. The first instance of them anyways.” I watched as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. “And I am so fucking lost.”

I still stood quietly, unsure of what I could really say. Words of encouragement from me right now would surely feel superficial to him.

“God, last time I struggled to cut down the track list. I had such a backlog of material, it was mental.”

I knew I had some role to play with that. Breaking up with someone just as they were about to embark on launching a solo career would result in an abundance of inspiration.

“And this time I have nothing…” he continued on. “Everything I write is utter shite, and the pressure from the label isn’t helping.”

“Push back the announcement then,” I finally spoke.

He laughed, without humor though. “If only it was that easy Rowie. You remember what it was like when I was in the band, the label asking for a new record every bloody year. That was considered feasible as there were five of us. Now according to them, going beyond a 2 year break between records is ‘not recommended’.”

I snorted, and Harry looked at me questioningly. “Seriously? That’s crap. How many artists have been MIA for years and still come back with another best-selling album. Harry, you’re underestimating your talents a little I think. This isn’t like your early years of One Direction where you guys had to pump out content in order to stay relevant. You’ve put in the hard yards and made your mark, you are here to stay.”

A flicker of a smile appeared on his lips. It gave me the confidence to continue on.

“You could literally release an album that consisted primarily of whale and dolphin calls and it would number one on release day.”

That got a laugh out of him. “Not sure if the label would like that though.”

I approached him slowly. “Well, I would love it. In fact, I’ve already got it pre-ordered on iTunes and saved on my Spotify.” I stood toe to toe with Harry, my fingers reaching out to the hem of his sweater. It was taking all of my self-restraint to not stretch up and trace his jawline, to comb back his hair with my fingers.

Instead, Harry seized the opportunity. Cautiously, he placed his hand to the side of my face. I melted into his touch. His lips parted ever so slightly before rolling them together, his telltale sign that he wanted to kiss me but was unsure.

“It’s okay,” I barely whispered out. I rolled up onto my toes, bringing my arms around his neck before pressing my lips against his. It felt as though no time had passed; we were in sync immediately, our mouths moving with familiarity. I raked my nails up through his hair and he mirrored by running his down my sides.

But as sudden as we had fallen back into routine, Harry pulled away. I couldn’t help a small sound of detest escape my mouth. “Shit,” he mumbled. He unlatched my arms from around his neck and pressed them back into my chest. “I shouldn’t… I know this isn’t what you want.” He sidestepped me and moved as far away from me as possible, which was only a few meters as that’s all my flat would allow.

“Who are you to say what I do and don’t want?” I challenged.

“You just told me the enormous toll our relationship had on you mentally. And I didn’t come here to try and win you back.”

I suddenly felt like I had been used. “So, what? You have no inspiration to write some songs so you come and see me, dredge up old problems, and then run off to the studio? Is that all I am to you now? A muse of emotional trauma?”

His eyes widened. “Jesus Rowie, of course not! I needed to see you because I knew you would be a voice of reason for me. Every person that I have spoken to about this album just doesn't get it. They’re all too… I don’t know. Too close to the project? They all just think I have a bit of writer’s block. My mum told me to clear my head by taking a walk in a bloody forest or something!”

I leant back, taking up the same position against my oven that Harry held minutes earlier. “How can my opinion even mean anything? I don’t know what’s gone on with you for the past 2 and a bit years.”

“And yet, I’ve felt more at ease here with you this past hour than I have for the past 6 months.”

“What, my 3 sentences of encouragement have instantly filled you with the creative juices you’ve been craving?”

“I wish,” Harry chuckled. “But your sense of assurance helps.”

I was about to respond when the buzz of a phone interrupted me. It sounded muffled, so I knew it was coming from my bag which lay forgotten at the end of the counter. It was most likely Jules, checking in to see if I’m alright.

“That’s probably a sign that I should go.” He collected his beanie that he had thrown down earlier and shoved it back on his head, paying no attention to the way it smushed some curls flat against his forehead. “Again, I’m sorry to barge in on you like this. I appreciate that you gave me the chance to talk though.” He jerked forward, unsure if we should hug goodbye or if he should just leave. I made the decision easier for him by crossing the kitchen and wrapping my arms around his waist. Pressing my ear to his chest I could hear the steady thump of his heart, a sound that I have fallen asleep to countless times. I felt Harry press his lips to the top of my head. This hug felt different, like a proper goodbye hug. Not ‘see you later’, but goodbye.

We pulled apart, locking eyes for one last time. “Good luck with everything,” I murmured.

“I’ll let you know when the Harry Styles featuring Whale and Dolphin album will be dropping.”

I let out a shaky laugh before moving around him to unlock the door. He stepped out, gave me one last smile, and turned to walk down the hall. I watched him walk until he disappeared from view, he didn’t turn back once.

That goodbye felt like it was the final closure we both needed, that now we could finally move on with our lives and be relatively happy. Maybe now I could hear and see his name and not feel a clench in my stomach. Or have those cluey fans find me and not dissolve into a puddle of panic.

But despite all these prospects, I knew it wasn’t the ending I wanted. Or the ending I really needed. My feet moved without warrant. I picked up speed, pounded down the stairs almost tripping over. I saw him, he had just stepped out of the building and down the steps. I burst through the door and he spun around, eyes wide with surprise.

“Stay.” I puffed out.

He blinked. Once, twice. “What?”

“I’m asking you to stay,” I descended the front steps and joined Harry on the footpath. “I just did the most cliché, rom-com thing and chased after you to ask you to stay. I mean, all that is missing right now is some rain and we would have the perfect scene.”

He laughed.

“Please, I’m serious.”

“Rowie, after what you said we can’t get back together. We--”

“After what I said we should be getting back together.”

Harry looked at me puzzled.

“I’m not going to be a prat now and try to shoulder all the pressure. I was stupid to not trust that you could help me in the first place. And I’ve gotten better at managing the anxiety.”

He was quiet for a while, staring down at me. I was desperate for something, even just a graze of his hand for reassurance. I was about to revoke the offer, feeling that maybe I had misread the situation, but he finally responded. “Are you sure? I don’t want you… I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“So sure that I ran down four flights of stairs and almost broke a leg for you.”

We both grinned before Harry pulled me in for a kiss. It was short and sweet but felt like home all the same.

“Let’s go up.” I said once we had broken apart.

“Oh… Uh... Actually,” Harry stammered. Oh god, have I suddenly been to forward or something? “I really need to swing by the studio. My phone has basically been in airplane mode all day and I was supposed to be there for a session at 10 am. I’ve been off the grid without even telling anyone.” He bit his lip, obviously unsure of how I would react.

“Go,” I said with a smile. Sure, the timing was crappy but I knew he would be back.

“I’ll be back,” he said as though he had just read my mind. “I’ll bring dinner tonight. Some thai food? Panang curry with fried rice?”

I smiled. He remembered my order. “Don’t forget--”

“Extra green beans in the curry.” He placed his hand on my cheek, bending down slightly to press a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll see you soon.”

And with that, he turned and began walking up the street, his phone pressed to his ear. No doubt he was finally responding to some very concerned people on his whereabouts. I watched him until turned the corner at the end of the block. I continued to stand there on the footpath outside my flat feeling calm, finally feeling at peace.

It almost seemed silly that this morning Harry Styles was the catalyst for a tumultuous amount of negative emotion, and yet my Harry was the one that was able to calm the storm and ground me.

I suppose I should thank him for that. I’ll do it when he comes home.

#1dff #exchanges

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initforthelongrun2019 · 4 years ago

Text

Pu Luong Part 2

Three weeks have passed since I completed the Vietnam Jungle Marathon; an extremely challenging trail run in Pu Luong, northern Vietnam. Some of you may remember that I took part in this race last year, and I didn’t have the best experience. I had a terrible sleep thanks to karaoke which kept me up all night at the homestay, I wasn’t race fit, my injury was reaching its peak and yet, despite all of this, I was still over-confident; having completed 122km just a few months before I thought this would be easy. The extreme heat made the entire race unbearable and, unlike most races I’d done in the past, there was very little shade, with large stretches of the race which were under direct sunlight. 70km felt like 700km and there were multiple points in the race where I thought about dropping out. However, it was - and still is - one of the most beautiful races I’ve ever done, and I knew I would go back someday. This year, the race was postponed to October due to Covid19. I hadn’t actually signed up to the original race in May, and only decided to register a few weeks before when I realised it coincided with my week of annual leave. I had taken some time off to celebrate my 30th birthday and I knew it would mean that birthday celebrations would have to be tamer than usual; but I was actually quite happy about that (maybe a sign that I am getting sensible in my old-ish age)?! I didn’t want to make the same mistake as last year; going wild at a festival the weekend before the race wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. Despite having a much better lead up to the race, preparation still didn’t go quite as planned. Actually, there wasn’t really a plan at all, but I hit a bit of a wall over summer where running was the last thing I wanted to do. I struggled with the heat and my confidence in my running abilities diminished, day by day. As the cooler weather approached, so did the storms, and as soon as I found my running mojo, I was prevented from running due to the numerous tropical storms and typhoons that have hit us in Central Vietnam over the last few weeks and months. I managed a good running streak on a recent work trip to Hanoi and HCMC, with two consecutive half marathons and a few other runs, all at a much better pace than I’ve done in a while, so this helped my confidence and made me feel somewhat ready for the race. Once again, I booked the VJM race package and travelled to Pu Luong on Friday morning, taking in the beautiful sights along the way. I remember last year when I was living in Thailand and travelled to Vietnam for this race, and how excited I felt about moving to a new country, as I passed the countryside in all its glory. The bus took longer than necessary due to a very cautious driver and a couple of wrong turns, but eventually we arrived at the wonderful Pu Luong Retreat, and I immediately fell in love. The bungalow I was sharing with my friend Stephan was adorable and had the most amazing view of the swimming pool (which I knew I wouldn’t have time to go in) and the never ending rice paddies. Once again, I wished that I had signed up for a shorter race so I would finish at a reasonable hour and get back in time to enjoy my wonderful accommodation. After a late lunch and early dinner, I got into bed around 8pm, hoping I would have a good sleep, especially as I’d been so tired all day. I am taking medication at the moment and it’s making me feel exceptionally sleepy; I was worried this might impact on the race so stopped taking it for a couple of days, but I still felt exhausted. Yet the moment my head hit the pillow, my eyes opened and I was wide awake. I had a very broken sleep; I couldn’t relax properly and I felt exhausted when my alarm went at 1:50am. But I jumped straight out of bed, knowing snoozing wouldn’t do me any good, and packed my bag, with all of the items I’d laid out next to it the previous day. It was very cold at that time in the morning and when I left the bungalow, I couldn’t stop shivering, even though I was wearing long sleeves. I desperately wanted a hot coffee but I didn’t have time; I had to leave the room with time to pick up breakfast and catch the bus at 2.30am. We arrived at the start line way too early and spent the remaining time fuelling and desperately trying to keep warm. I forced myself to eat a breakfast of rice, which was way too salty, and a couple of small energy bars. I never eat in the morning, never mind in the middle of the night, but last year I didn’t eat anything and I soon regretted that, so I wasn’t ready to make the same mistake. As I crossed the start line at 4am, the nerves I’d been struggling with since the day before hit me hard. I started my brand new Garmin (a birthday present to myself) and ran with about 200 other runners along the 5km route, which would take us to our very first climb. It was strange starting a race with so few runners; although the 70km and the 55km groups started at the same time, it still felt so much quieter than normal. Once I reached the bottom of the climb, I had a flashback to the previous year; the crazy amounts of people trying to trek up the narrow path and the one guy behind me who kept stabbing my with his hiking poles. I was soon thankful that the trail wasn’t so crowded and enjoyed having space to breathe; there were some points where I didn’t have anyone behind or in front of me which was surprising, but enjoyable.

Enjoyment soon turned to pain, as the never ending climb started to take its toll. But because I had done the race before, I knew that the most incredible view would be waiting for me at the top, and I kept this in my mind the entire time. I refuelled with gels and energy bars a couple of times, to give me the strength to reach the top, but I soon found that I was struggling. Hoi An, where I live now, is extremely flat, and there aren’t many hills to climb, unless you go looking for them. I also don’t do much hiking anymore (which breaks my heart) and I could feel the impact of that. Hills used to be my strong point, but I could feel myself flagging, whereas normally I would be pushing myself to reach the top. It was a struggle, but once which was totally worth it, as I had expected. I saw a couple of runners from previous races and celebrated with them when we saw the sun rising over the rolling hills. After this, I knew there was a very steep decline; something I hated last year, as I didn’t have my hiking poles. I only started running with poles after my fourth or fifth race, and this year I was delighted to have them, as they meant the downhill was nowhere near as painful. Downhills used to be my weak spot, but since I’ve started running with poles I don’t fear them nearly as much as I used to. I do struggle with confidence a little, so as I was running I was muttering a little mantra to myself; ‘be brave, be brave’. And then I fell, twice. My legs were feeling sore already from the climb, but I peeled myself back off the floor and carried on running down. My confidence soared when only a few other runners passed me; normally I am constantly having to move out of the way for the stronger ones on the declines, and I hate it. Maybe it was due to not many runners being on the trail in the first place, or maybe I’m getting a little bit better. Who knows, but it definitely helped!

After I reached the first checkpoint, I filled up my water, had a couple of pieces of fruit, and set off on my way to the next checkpoint. This one was much further, but I knew that it was relatively flat – and therefore relatively runnable. Last year I was so exhausted that I struggled with this part, but this year I found my legs and started to run, at a fairly decent pace. Again, I was surprised that no one passed me, and found it a little unnerving that I couldn’t see anyone in front of me, or behind me for that matter. I knew that I wasn’t way ahead, so I worried that I was at the back, but again I think it was more because there just weren’t as many runners on the trail compared to what I’m used to.

This is the only time I have ever run the same race twice and I was a little apprehensive knowing the route would be familiar. Normally I don’t even look at the course route when I sign up for a race; I have no idea about elevation or checkpoints, as I like to take each part of the trail as it comes. I find that if I break it down and attack it bit by bit, checkpoint to checkpoint, then it seems much more manageable. I was also a little conscious about running with a watch; again I quite like to be in blissful ignorance, so I wasn’t too sure about how I would feel about being able to constantly track my distance. However, I found that knowing the route and checking my distance helped rather than hindered, as I was able to talk myself through the difficult bits, knowing that there were some positives to come. I also loved how the memories of last year came flooding back, especially taking into consideration how much I struggled; it was a relief knowing that I didn’t feel half as bad.

On the flip side, I also knew that I had to tackle the beast; this was on my mind for the entire time as I knew for sure that this would be the worst bit. I was starting to feel quite sick and nauseous as I reached checkpoint four, and almost passed out at one point! I have no idea why; I felt like I had enough nutrition, it wasn’t too hot (although still a little hotter than I had bargained for) and I was constantly taking in enough water. However, I still continued to feel dehydrated, something I struggled with even during my flat runs in Hoi An in the summer months, so perhaps I will need to think about taking salts in the future. Anyway, I still carried on, and powered up the huge hill to checkpoint five feeling much stronger and way more positive about finishing, compared to last year. This was the part where the 55km and 70km runners split, so I saw even less people on the trail, but by this point I was actually getting in to the rhythm and quite enjoying being by myself. I reached checkpoint five, happy to see some other runners – including some familiar faces – and then battled on to checkpoint six; the final one before the beast.

The beast was brutal. The nauseous feeling wasn’t going away and I knew it would be made so much worse by the climb I had ahead of me. There were sweepers on the route; wonderful, energetic, smiley sweepers, who encouraged us all to keep going. One of them saw that I was feeling a little faint and told me he would stay right behind me, and he patiently followed me until I reached the top and was at a safe point. Once I reached the top, there was a lady selling cans of coke and all the joy of the Moc Chau race came flooding back to me, when another lady was strategically placed with a box of cold drinks on a very steep hill. Not only did this lady make me exceptionally happy, I was also impressed by her strength and the fact she had managed to carry such a huge amount of weight up that hill. Not for the first time did I start to feel a combination of admiration and embarrassment; throughout the race I constantly passed local people; many of them quite elderly, who were carrying large items up insane hills. As I struggled past them, with my fancy camelbak, hiking poles, and trail running shoes, I couldn’t help thinking what on earth they thought of us? It’s something they do every single day and, given the chance to enter the race, I’m sure they would probably smash it! The descent down the beast was nowhere near as painful as last year, thanks to my hiking poles, and I was happy to see checkpoint 7; the final cut off checkpoint! After this point, it meant that I could take my sweet time.

However, I still wanted to finish as quickly as possible; I take zero enjoyment from running in the dark and I knew that the hotel was selling mulled wine and mango daiquiris which I had been craving since around 5am that morning. I powered my way through to checkpoint 8 which arrived much sooner than I anticipated, and then made my way through the cold, muddy river crossings - of which there were many – to the finish line.

I was so desperate to get back to my hotel - my wonderful friend Jasmine had ordered food and alcohol which was already waiting for me - that as I crossed the finish line I took my medal and quickly demanded to know where I could collect my drop bag and where the bus would depart from. I completely forgot to shake the person’s hand who awarded me with my medal, and I felt slightly rude, but I had daiquiris and fries on the mind and I wanted them as quickly as possible. I had just missed the 8pm bus, so I had to wait until 9pm, or until the bus filled up. Knowing there weren’t many people close by me on the trail, I thought I had a very long wait on my hands, but luckily it filled up pretty quickly and we set off, on a journey which was much longer than the one it took to get to the start line! All I could think of was how badly I needed a hot shower – I couldn’t face a cold shower at the finish line so I was extremely muddy, not to mention very stinky – AND A HOT MULLED WINE.

I crossed the finish line in 16 hours 10 mins; 35 minutes quicker than last year. I also placed in the top 10 females (doesn’t matter that there were only nine females) and I was the top British female (of which there was only one, but again, it doesn’t matter). It still counts!

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marveloseme · 7 years ago

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Anemia || Part 1

Summary: Tony Stark recruits his daughter to train Peter in basic gymnastics so Spider-Man looks less like a goofy kid. Other than bonding over backflips, together they meet scientist Otto Octavius and get a close look at his new experimental research in the works at being shown at the Stark Expo.

Warnings: some swearing

Words: 4793

A/N: hey don’t mind my shitty excuse for a banner there, i just want it be unique ya know

Prologue

Part 1, a month before the prologue

–Greenwich Village, Manhattan, New York–

There was a giant message board outside the front of Greenwich Prep that was constantly full of notices for concerts, events, and clubs. Today, though, a giant poster covered up most of the other things and looked like a multicolored distraction. Attend this year’s Stark Expo! it proclaimed in gold letters, printed in shinier ink than the rest of the poster. I felt stupid having stopped to read it.

Someone sidled up next to me while I was busy looking at the poster. I could see him vaguely out of the corner of my eye. “You know what the worst part is?” I said and he hummed ‘hmm?’ in reply, “I didn’t even know when this was happening until now.”

“So I take it you didn’t put up this poster?” he asked, and I could practically hear him smirking at me.

I rolled my eyes. “No, Harry, I didn’t,” I retorted and he showed his palms innocently. I pulled my phone out and took a photo of the poster. In the next second I had sent it to my father with about a hundred question marks along with it.

Finally turning away from the poster, I wandered into the school building, Harry trailing after me. “Good morning, Maria,” Harry added, “My weekend was great, thanks, I’m so glad you asked.”

I snorted. “Glad to hear it,” I replied.

“You’re the worst friend ever.”

I hummed as I paused at my locker, putting in my combination. “Could be worse.”

It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes as he leaned on the lockers beside mine. “Did you get the email from Dr. Jones?” he asked then.

Dr. Jones was head of the sciences department, and also the advisor of the academic decathlon team. I avoided all of those teams –decathlon, mathletes, science olympiad– like the plague. I’d rather scoop my own eyes out with a spoon than do math problems for a gold-paint trophy.

“Yeah,” I replied, dropping my heavy organic chem book into the bottom of my locker, “I’m not going to her meeting. I know this is a scam to get me to join the decathlon team.”

Harry shrugged. “I still think you should do it. Mitch Thornton says they’ve been itching to beat Midtown Science for years, and don’t you want your name on a trophy?”

I gave him a look. “Don’t you think my name’s on enough things?”

“Maybe, but you inherited all that stuff,” he pointed out.

I slammed my locker shut with too much fervor on purpose, startling him. “Don’t talk to me about inheritance, Osborn,” I said and turned to make my way down the hallway towards my homeroom.

He groaned and sidled up beside me. “You know that’s not what I mean. You would easily carry that team to victory and then my stupid lab partner will never moan about Midtown Science ever again, and we both win,” he rambled, surprisingly in one breath.

“I don’t have time for decathlon–”

“–because you’re always at the gym,” Harry finished for me. I shoved him. “I know you love gymnastics. But Dr. Jones would stop creating new ways to entice you if you joined.”

As if she had sonar hearing, a classroom door opened and out walked the science head herself. Dr. Jones gave us a pleasant smile. “Happy Monday, kids,” she said.

“Morning,” Harry and I mumbled in reply.

She studied us a moment and turned to Harry first. “Mr. Osborn, I believe you’re in a uniform violation,” she pointed out. Harry’s eyes widened and he reached towards his neck, realizing suddenly that he wasn’t wearing a tie. A sad thing about rich kid school– uniforms were strict, and we all had to dress like we had our shit together. “Do I have to–”

“No!” Harry quickly cut her off, “No, Dr. Jones, I have one. In my locker, definitely, I’ll go find it.” He bolted off without another word, in the direction, I noticed, of my locker, not his. Well, I definitely had a spare in there.

Great. He left me alone with the woman I was hoping to avoid talking to all week. She cleared her throat. “Miss Stark, I’m assuming you got my message,” she began. Guess she didn’t mince words.

I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“So I’ll see you after school tomorrow?”

I pursed my lips, trying to come up with an excuse not to go. If she hadn’t cornered me I could have just said I didn’t get the email in time, although I’m sure she would have seen right through that… “Actually, I have gymnastics practice right after school, so I can’t make it,” I told her gently. That wasn’t completely a lie– I chose when I practiced though.

To my surprise, Dr. Jones just shrugged her shoulders. “Not a problem. I have to run this morning, but see me in my office at this time tomorrow and I’ll talk to you about the details. This is an amazing opportunity, Maria, I wouldn’t want you to miss it,” she smiled at me again, “Have a good rest of your day, and I’ll see you in chem lab.”

I smiled back, albeit a little hesitantly, and she walked away. An amazing opportunity… that didn’t sound like joining academic decathlon, but knowing how much it meant to her it may as well could be. But now I couldn’t get out of it. Annoyed, I adjusted the strap of my bag and headed the rest of the way to my homeroom.

Two seconds before the bell rang, Harry slid into the desk beside me, now sporting a proper tie at his neck. “Thanks for abandoning me,” I whispered at him.

He shrugged. “I can’t get another demerit, I’ll get detention,” he whispered back, “This is yours, by the way, I’ll wash it and give it back. Promise this time.”

Now Harry was a smart guy, as future CEO of Oscorp he had to be, but there were a few things he didn’t excel at. Most of them were sports, and the other thing was stealing various unisex pieces of my uniform and never giving them back. Maybe I ought to start writing my name on things.

“Maria Stark,” my homeroom teacher snapped, standing right before my desk, “Would you deign to pay attention, please?”

I swallowed. Nevermind. People would sell them on ebay.

When school was over, there was a line of cars waiting to pick up their rich kids. Mine was easily recognizable in the sea of various black vehicles– the bright red Saleen waiting at the end of the block, plus the flock of other students who were loitering by the driver’s side.

I wandered down the sidewalk and cleared my throat. The others looked over and backed up a few steps so I could finally see Tony Stark half leaning out the window. He waved at me. “Hey, there’s my favorite daughter!” he said.

“Hi, Dad,” I said and raised an eyebrow at the onlookers, “Bragging about your car to my peers again?”

He shrugged. “Always. Hop in, slim,” he said, waving at me to get in on the other side.

I wandered around the front of the car to the passenger's side while he waved at my classmates. “Always a pleasure kids,” he said and rolled the window back up. I threw my bag in the back and he pulled away from the curb.

Once we were on the road, Dad reached over and squeezed my knee briefly. “How was your day, hun?”

“Fine. Dr. Jones cornered me again, though,” I said, leaning my head against the window, “She said she had an opportunity for me. I bet it's the opportunity to be captain of the mathletes or something.”

He scoffed. “You hate math,” he said.

“I know.”

“Like, you're good at it because you're my kid, obviously, but nobody is telling you that you have to love it,” he continued.

I smiled at him in amusement. “I know, Dad, I'm not going to join,” I chuckled, “I just need a new excuse to get out of it, gymnastics practice is getting too old for her.”

“Speaking of,” Dad said as we paused at a red light, “I'm dropping you off at the gym, right?”

I sighed in relief. I need to work off a day of annoyed energy. “Yes.”

He snapped his fingers. “Perfect. We have to make a pit stop in Queens first,” he said. I lifted my head, glaring at him. “Don't give me that look, Maria. We just have to pick someone up, and I want you to meet him.”

Lame. I huffed and looked out the window. “Fine,” I drawled dramatically, and I earned an eye roll there.

“And he’ll be joining you at the gym,” he added quickly, causing my head to snap up again.

“What?!”

We pulled the car up a half hour later outside an apartment building, judging by the young couple stumbling out of it. They were too occupied with each other to notice Tony Stark get out of the car and let himself into the building. Did he even have to get buzzed in?

The ding of my phone distracted me. Harry Osborn lit up the screen with three consecutive texts. He definitely lost the tie he stole from me today. I slid it open.

(1) Hey so that tie I stole from you today, the first message read. I knew it. I didn’t have to continue, but I did.

(2) I put it in my hamper so I would wash it before I gave it back, but it must have fallen out because…

(3) Well my dog ate it

That tie was about $40, that asshole. I texted back that thought exactly with a healthy ‘I told you so’, and mere seconds later there was a swift knock on my window. I jumped in surprise, and then my dad pulled my door open. Guess it was time to meet this guy who was joining my gym this afternoon.

Dad smiled at me. “Maria, this is Peter Parker,” he said, stepping out of the way as I climbed from the car. A boy stood there, a backpack over his shoulder, and a Midtown Science t-shirt on. Irony or coincidence? I was still in my uniform –pleated skirt, button down, tie, but sans blazer now– and he looked ready to go in basketball shorts. “Peter, this is my daughter Maria. She’ll be your coach.”

I would have smiled at Peter, but my attention was drawn away at that statement. “His coach?” I repeated, giving dad a questioning look. He seemed to pick up on my confusion because he waved his hand at Peter.

“Let’s continue this on the way to the gym, shall we?” he said and rounded the front to the driver’s side.

I turned my attention back towards Peter, who seemed to trip over his own feet on the way to the car when he caught my eye. I tried to smile, but it probably came out as more of a pitying grimace. I ducked back into my seat and Peter got in the back. If this kid was tripping over nothing, then ‘coaching’ him in gymnastics was going to be a wild ride.

“So...?” I began once we were moving again.

“Peter’s Spider-Man,” he said and my jaw dropped. Peter spluttered from the back seat and then his head appeared over the center console. He was suddenly very close. And it seemed like he wasn’t prepared for that. “Relax, Parker, do you know who she is? Anyway, you’re gonna help him.”

“Do what?” I demanded sharply. I’d seen Spider-Man fight; he moved quicker than lightning and stopped busses with his bare hands. At first I had begged to know what Spider-Man’s identity was, but neither my dad nor Happy would tell me. Eventually I gave up. I wondered what’s changed now.

Dad continued. “You listen too, kid. And sit back and put a seatbelt on, do you have a death wish?” he added, turning for just a second to give Peter a look I knew all too well. Peter did was he was told, and I watched him in the rearview mirror. It was hard to see him doing the things I’d seen Spider-Man do. We made eye contact and I looked away quickly. “The point of this will be to teach Peter good form and balance. So he doesn’t look like a lanky teenager beating up robbers. Or kill himself falling off something.”

“Uh, Mr. Stark, I can climb walls,” Peter pointed out softly.

“Irrelevant,” he replied and glanced at me, “Maria is the number one gymnast in the eastern region. If there’s anyone I know who can teach you balance and form control, it’s her.”

I smiled, suddenly bashful. Out of everyone my dad knew, he wanted me to teach Spider-Man. Maybe it was because Peter and I seemed to be the same age, but it still felt good.

“What kinds of things will we be doing?” Peter asked. I glanced up again into the rearview, and he was already looking at me. I didn’t break the contact this time while Dad answered.

“That’s all up to her,” he shrugged, “You just need to be able to translate what you learn with Maria into being Spider-Man. I can’t let you continue to trip over air, if you get me.”

I quirked a brow. So I had seen him trip. His cheeks blushed bright red and he looked away from me. “Yes, sir,” he muttered.

“Spectacular,” dad chirped and looked at me with a brilliant smile, “You’ll love this, Maria. It’ll be good practice to go over the basics before the competitive season starts.”

I turned and looked out the window as we drove. Maybe he was right, but now I had to spend all this time on Peter when I could be doing basics by myself, which I liked better. So it was a bit of a bittersweet deal. Peter seemed like a nice guy, and it was a weird sort of honor to coach Spider-Man, but this was my me-time he was taking away. However, they were just basics– how long could it possibly take him to learn them?

We were dropped off in front of my gym with a short goodbye and “Happy will pick you up in three hours” before the red Saleen sped away down the street. Then, it was just Peter and I.

He cleared his throat. “Three hours?” he questioned.

I nodded. “It would be longer if he didn’t make me do my homework,” I said. I nodded to the doors. “Come on, we’re burning time.”

He followed me up the stairs. “So, uh, where do you go to school?” he asked. At least he knew how to make conversation.

“Greenwich Prep. And you obviously go to Midtown,” I said. I pulled the door open. He just stared at it a second before going in ahead of me. I followed, a little spike of pride bolting through my chest.

“Ah, that, um… makes sense,” he mumbled and I snickered. I'm sure it did, Greenwich Prep was the notorious rich kid school of Manhattan. I knew of at least two kids of the Real Housewives of New York.

Peter lagged behind me as I wandered into the gym. The lady behind the desk smiled pleasantly. “Hi, Maria,” she chirped.

“Hi, Dee,” I replied. I jammed my thumb towards Peter. “This is Peter, he's with me. I'm assuming he got signed up.”

Dee turned to her computer for a few moments and nodded. “Yep, all set. Welcome to Chelsea Gym, here is your pass card,” she said and handed Peter a swipe card with his information on it. I smiled back, waved at Peter, and we walked farther inside past the desk. Around the corner the expanse of my gym opened up; the tumbling mats, the balance beams, the rings and whatnot took up most of the space. The running equipment and various workout gear were closed off behind glass on the far wall.

I turned to Peter. “The men’s locker room is over there,” I said, pointing to the left, “I guess I’ll meet you right back here in a bit, okay?”

He nodded, paused like he was going to say something, thought better of it and then just turned away. I went in the direction of the other locker room and rifled through my backpack for my own membership card. Once I had swiped it in the reader and opened the door, I wandered over to the locker that I had stuffed all my practice clothes in, and once again used the card to open it.

Peter would definitely be waiting for me a while in the gym– it took some time to take off all the pieces of my school uniform and be ready for practice. Maybe he’ll make some friends. Or, well, he was cute and fit, if a little awkward… I could name a couple freshman who could probably get him to take them out just because he wouldn’t be able to get a word in edgewise. Poor guy.

Once I was in a leotard and some spandex, I wandered over to a mirror to put my hair up. My hair was where my resemblance to my father stopped, which my dad always said was fortunate for me. The gene pool left me out of my mom’s unique red hair, which landed me in a sort of auburn middle ground, but the eyes and the smile were the same. No one ever questioned my identity when I was almost identical to Pepper Potts.

When my hair was tied up in a bun at the crown of my head, I grabbed my card and my water bottle and headed back to the gym floor. Peter was waiting for me, just like I was expecting him to be, but unlike I expected he was sitting on the floor by himself, furiously typing on his phone. When I approached, he darted up to his feet.

“Hey,” he said with a tentative smile and shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Hi,” I replied. He still shifted foot to foot, a tell-tale sign of nervousness, so I said, “Listen, I know this is weird for you, this is weird for me too. But I guess we have to do this, and maybe some good form will help you out with the whole saving New York thing.”

And if I was going to have to do this, then dammit I was going to do this right.

He looked around, checking as if anyone heard, and then gave me a little smile. “I didn't think ‘training’ would mean gymnastics. I've never stepped foot in a gym like this in my whole life,” he said, looking around.

“Well, today is your lucky day,” I said and placed my water bottle down on the floor, “Because I practically live here. Let's start, shall we?”

Since I left mine in my locker, I had Peter take his phone back out and put on some music. The first song to come one was Gun Song by the Lumineers, to which I have Peter an incredulous look. “I didn’t peg you for a hipster,” I commented, “Thought you lived in Queens.”

He blushed and placed his phone down by my water bottle. “I’m actually pretty versatile,” he replied.

I held up my hands, letting him have that, and then sat on the floor. “Well, then, we’re going with it. This will be our stretch song, and we’ll do the same sequence before every practice. You’ll memorize it eventually,” I explained as I spread my legs out in front of me. I stared at Peter meaningfully until he caught on and did the same thing. “Great. First, point your toes. Good. Now, follow my lead.”

Overall, it was actually kind of fun to hang out with someone. Peter was a really good listener and he caught on exceptionally well. First we stretched, which somehow was a foreign concept to the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and then moved into actual skills. How to forward roll without hurting your back, how to backwards tuck without snapping your neck, and then quickly delved into cartwheels and handstands.

The handstands were my favorite.

“So,” I said as Peter and I stood by a blank wall, “This next thing is actually called ‘spidering’ against the wall.”

He snickered, biting back a grin. “Why?”

I demonstrated. It was simple, something that most child beginners did in their first classes. I flipped over into a handstand, so my back was against the wall. “This teaches the feeling of a proper handstand. Straight back and legs, mostly.” I dropped a bit and rolled into a sitting position on the mat. “It’s a building block to other skills. It’ll probably help you more with the balance thing, since you’re not going to a meet or anything. But no cheating and sticking to the wall.”

Peter took a breath, and I could tell as he did it he was trying very hard not to slam too hard into the wall. I added that to my list of things to work on– weight distribution. I tried not to be distracted by his shirt slipping down and exposing his midsection while I studied him. The boy was certainly built to be an athlete. I put one hand on a hip and waved him forward. “Walk.”

“What?” he said, bringing his chin down so I could see his eyes.

“Walk forward on your hands, away from the wall,” I said, beckoning him forward, “I’m assuming you have the strength to do that.”

He looked indignant and did what I said without further question. The first few “steps” were good, but then he started to lean, just like I expected him to. I approached, and he paused, breathing a bit heavy. By now the blood rushing to his head was probably making his temples throb. All gymnasts had to go through that.

“Keep your legs straight and stacked right on top of your hips,” I put a hand on either of his calves and pushed his legs back together, then forward so they sat on top of his hips. Then I reached down and placed my hand in the center of his chest, gently pushing backwards. “And chest in. You won’t strain your biceps so much and you’ll be able to hold it longer.”

Peter released a breath, my hand shifting with the movement, and then I let go. He fell forward onto his feet and straightened before me. His face was bright red, from the blood or from the fact that I was just touching him I didn’t know.

“Get used to that,” I added, “Gymnastics is a very hands-on sport.”

Three hours went by much faster than I expected it to. Even though I was effectively bossing him around, Peter was still very friendly, and managed to squeeze in some questions about me while we were together. Sweaty, we walked out of the gym together and jogged down the stairs.

“So you can go anywhere you want, whenever you want?” Peter asked me, a few steps ahead, “Like, it’s all yours?”

I snorted and shook my head. “No, it’s not all mine. It’s the company’s, but if I wanted to go to Paris in the next hour I could. That’s kind of what a private jet is for,” I said.

He loosed a breath, shaking his head. “I’ve only been on it the once, but the fact that you can just leave must be amazing,” he said and hopped off the last stair onto the sidewalk.

“That’s weird thing about being jaded like I am. It’s just life to me,” I replied.

He chuckled. “You know, I want to dislike you for that comment, but…”

I shoved his shoulder. He was surprisingly sturdy for a kid his size. “Shut up. I’m refreshing.”

Peter opened his mouth to say something more, but then paused, frozen. I frowned, waiting, but then I heard the quiet blare of sirens. And they were getting louder. Soon they were right on top of us, and then three NYPD cruisers raced past us and towards Hudson River Park. Peter and I looked at each other at the same time.

“Um,” he began and pointed in the direction the cars had gone, “I think–I should go–”

I just smiled. “Go get ‘em, Queens,” I told him with a nod.

His answering grin was bright and a little cocky. I watched him run across the street and down between the buildings, most likely finding a place to change. Now alone, I took out my phone to pass the time until Happy arrived. He was usually right on time, but traffic was unpredictable around here.

The next time I glanced up, a yellow cab had pulled up to the curb before me. I raised a brow as the driver put the window down. “You need a ride, sweetie?”

Oh god. “I have one coming, thanks,” I replied and turned promptly back to my phone.

My blood ran cold at the safety clicking off on a gun. I slowly raised my head back to the driver. “Call the police and you get a bullet to the head,” he growled, “Get in the car.”

With one hopeless glance in the direction that Peter disappeared to I climbed into the back of the cab. I didn’t call the police, but all I had to do was swipe on my phone to press the emergency signal button. There was no way someone like Tony Stark would leave his daughter completely helpless. I know simply self defense, but there was nothing I could do against a gun by myself.

In the meantime it took to answer my signal, I studied the inside of the fake taxi. Nothing obvious I could see as signs of a struggle, which meant everything looked normal, which was a tell-tale sign that this was a human trafficker. I gulped. I had faith that nothing would happen to me, but it still made me very afraid. I couldn’t be the only one to have to go through this in all of New York.

Suddenly the car’s brakes started to squeal, and I lurched forward, bracing myself with my arms against the divider in front of me. The cab stopped right before it crashed into the gold and crimson body of Iron Man, standing right in the middle of 23rd street. I couldn’t control my grin. This would be fun.

The driver seemed to be frozen as Iron Man walked around to the side of the car and ripped the door right off. The faceplate rose as he leaned in the empty space and my dad gave me an unconcerned grin. “Hi, princess.”

I wore an identical expression. “Hi, daddy.”

I simply climbed out while Iron Man put his faceplate back down and lifted the driver from the seat by the lapels of his jacket. No doubt the police was on its way, but just to be safe the Avenger used the seatbelt to tie him directly to the edge of the broken door. I wandered over to stand beside him. The gun he had threatened with me sat abandoned near the brake pedal.

The faceplate was back up when dad spoke to me. “You haven’t called me daddy since you were seven,” he commented.

I shrugged. “More dramatic,” I said.

“I’ve taught you well,” he nodded, and then we could hear police sirens. Two NYPD K9 units pulled up on either side of the cab, as well as a black Audi. Happy. “Finally,” dad sighed, “Probably took the tunnel like a tourist.”

Happy rose from the driver’s seat, looking bored and absolutely done as always. Dad waved at him. “Come on, Maria,” said the former, beckoning to me.

“Yes, take her home, and call Pepper on the way,” he said, touching my back gently to send me towards the car, “Before she burns down the whole city.”

I tossed my bag into the back of the Audi, but before I got in a flash of red caught my eye. I looked up, above the flashing police lights, to the top of a nearby building. Spider-Man was there, because of course he was. He probably heard police sirens in his sleep.

I watched him and cocked my head. He did the same, which meant he saw me. Well, a few minutes too late, Pete. But how was he supposed to know. Before getting in the car, I pressed my hands to my lips and blew him a kiss.

Let him take that back to Queens

#peter parker fic #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x oc #peter parker #tony stark daughter

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harmonicegg-blog · 5 years ago

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Gail’s journey from the Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Many have asked what the light box / Harmonic Egg has done for me and how I came to open my own center.

I first saw the light box in October, 2001. Now that I am here and we have been open almost 9 years I can look back and see how the journey unfolded and why timing is everything and this moment in time is exactly perfect! I started using the light box in January 2007. I really didn’t think I had any health problems and all the things I was dealing with were normal or I was just born with it. I do not have asthma anymore (had it since birth), my eyesight has improved and I no longer need to wear glasses (started wearing glasses at age 19), my digestive system works better, my hair is not falling out, my TMJ is gone, my cystic acne has all but cleared (thank God since I am 48!), no more insomnia (and I can breathe through my nose now), my broken left ankle (from 2006) and the torn ligaments (from 1996) in the right ankle no longer cause me pain when the weather changes or when I kneel and sit and I have more flexibility in both of them, my migraines of 23 years have been gone now for 5 years AND maybe it’s in my genes but I do not look my age at all…some have claimed there is an anti-aging component to the technology. I continue to use the technology as often as needed. Each time I emerge with more clarity of mind, more focus, heightened senses, better intuition and feeling in the FLOW… My Story: In 1997 I left Michigan, where I was raised and worked in Automotive for almost 10 years. I moved to Texas to build an International consulting firm with a man who was literally a rocket scientist and a genius. He left NASA and started to work as an independent consultant in Telecommunications. He asked me to come to Texas and help him grow the business. We grew it to 26 employees and over $1 million in sales for 3 consecutive years. The mistake: We got married and then divorced and I left him the business and started out on my own. The 5 years we spent together were great and I learned a lot from him. He was into wellness and healing and I took an interest and have been studying advanced wellness for all these years. It was a hobby and way of life for me. I used to think to myself, “how could I make this a J.O.B.”, but thought it was out of reach for me. In 2001 I was in Los Angeles at a conference where I met the inventor of The Light Box. I was intrigued by what I heard from him and followed his progress for many years. I even had the privilege to meet little “David” who you may see in a video testimonial on the Internet. He had a huge influence in why I am running a center today. When you meet a boy who was sent home from the Mayo Clinic never to walk or talk in his life…and he’s walking and talking, because of The Light Box, you start to wonder how life could be different for more people and how YOU can make a difference in this world with one technology. Admittedly, I was scared and comfy in my executive positions doing what I knew in Corporate America. I think we can all relate about fear of stepping into the unknown. In 2003 I was asked by another business owner (David Stanley, step-brother to the late Elvis Presley) to help him grow his production company. Together he and I brought his story to the big screen. The DVD Protecting the King is available in most video outlets, Netflix, Amazon, etc. That was 7 years of my life! Early January, 2007 was my first trip to Cottonwood, AZ to receive sessions in The Light Box. I was soooo excited after all I had heard and seen and I was going to actually be able to experience it myself. I went there with David Stanley. He and I stayed for 3 days to get the 4 sessions. This is what I actually sent to all my curious friends in January, 2007. Don’t ask me why I saved this…it’s truly was in my draft email folder for over 3 years! What you are about to read was my understanding from a first timer using The Light Box. I read it and laugh at my terminology and how I explained it. Today, I am much more educated on why / how it works and was mentored by the light box inventor, for 7 years! Plus, studying ancient technologies of healing via sound and light, how music influences our lives and body, studying the anatomy, sacred geometry, learning about Eastern medicine, working with doctors and other healers and having them as clients at the center. I am blessed! “Hi there everyone! You all wanted to know about my experience in the light box. I just finished my sessions here in Cottonwood, AZ. It was fantastic. What they have told me is that healing happens for 4-6 weeks. The very hard part is drinking 128 oz. of water for the next 21 days. Apparently, the cells are healing and releasing toxins into the body and water is the only way to flush everything out. Normally you are supposed to drink about 64 oz per day. That’s easy, 128 is hard. We had a total of 4, 1-hour sessions… My first hour session in the light box – entering a wood box on a pedestal with a mat / bed (somewhat like a coffin with more space – yikes!). There is a light overhead, rainbow painted in an insert the shape of a hexagon. There are six mirrors that reflect the bulb in each of them. They do not flash. The mattress seemed to have speakers underneath it and the music vibrated throughout your entire body. You are lying on your back with your hands (palms down) by your side. The theory behind it was the stimulate the nerves in the spine, finger tips, etc. My experience was my legs and arms kept twitching and jumping (involuntarily) and my back twitched and it felt like a wave of something down my spine. I was told it was energy blocks clearing. OK, cool !!! I am sure I needed that. David was told he was in the top 10% of patients that detoxed the most. They can tell this by the smell in your room after 1-hour in the box. The technician came in and had to get the director because she could not believe how strong the metal smell was in the room. He smelled as if he was rolling around in coins the rest of the day. Yuck!! Apparently, he was toxic and the vessel allowed the metal toxicity to come out. After the sessions we felt light-headed and both had slight headaches (which went away after downing a bunch of water). The rule is NO energy work, massages, etc. AND no working out for about 2 weeks. Supposedly to let your system settle into itself. As stated above, the cells will continue to heal for 4-6 weeks. They do suggest coming back in 3-4 weeks for another block of sessions. Second day, morning visit was different music and I was restless and not ready to relax so early in the day. I had a slight headache and dizziness afterwards. Afternoon visit was interesting as I had some energy blocked in my left leg that twitched and jumped about every 5 minutes. It was strange. I do feel like I have lost weight from the sessions or all the water – not sure which one. Apparently, the body works pretty hard to heal the cells so weight loss is not uncommon. David – well he was just plain worn out from the sessions on day 2. Last day…the music was different again and seemed to concentrate on my lower body for the first 15-20 minutes. It worked up to the whole body after that. Not sure how / why that is. I asked a lot of questions, but I didn’t ask ALL my questions. 😉 We left for the airport in Phoenix right after the session. Today is the morning after and I woke up feeling like I was hit by a MAC truck. Wow, this takes a lot out of you. I got up drank 25 oz of water and I felt great. The words to describe the difference in the way I feel are solid, clear, balanced and positive. I am a bit of a skeptic, but it seems that the box really does something, or it could be the couple days of rest and ALL the water. All joking aside, there was something about it that was magical and it did something. Well, those are my notes from the trip and experience. I plan to have more sessions in the near future (probably late March). AZ is WONDERFUL (and it’s where it all began), but the Phoenix airport is not very user friendly…those that have been there know what I am talking about. Let me know if you have any questions. Much love to everyone, Gail” It’s absolutely hysterical to read this again. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don’t know why I saved this email for so many years. I guess I thought I might need it someday! My friends that I sent this to asked me to send another follow up in a few weeks. This is what I sent out late January. “So, since I have been home – there have been no cravings for sugar / chocolate and food seems to taste different. Colors are more vivid and I am more aware of my surroundings. I have an inner peace that is just incredible and I have even noticed people in stores are treating me different, friendlier. Don’t know how to explain it – maybe it’s the 128 oz. of water… I just seem to be more balanced and things that would have stressed me out are no big deal.” As Paul Harvey would say, this is the “rest of the story”: In March of 2010 I was working a corporate job (consulting) and commuting back and forth to Dayton, OH every week. I hated it and so many things happened to show me I was not where I needed to be in life or in my career. I won’t go through the list, but the BIGGY was my dog ran away in February, 2010 from the place he was staying in / being babysat in Texas. This was pretty much the last straw. I flew back and forth AND drove back and forth to Texas to look for him for several weeks. I never found him. It was one of the most devastating events in my life. I have no children and he was the closest thing I had to a child. I loved him so very much and my heart still hurts to think about what may have happened to him. On the bright side, the Universe took away a 150 pound Great Pyrenees dog and gifted me with a 1,200 amazing horse! In addition, I was fired from the job because I went to look for my dog and left the office. I was unable to find another job for over a year and that ended with losing my home and having to file bankruptcy. After a successful career of more than 20 years I was lost and didn’t know what to do. The box was calling me back to Arizona so I decided to take a 2,500 mile road trip that included a trip to Cottonwood, AZ. I knew when I left the driveway my life would be different when I came back…I just didn’t know how. I have always been a supporter and in 2007 when I first moved to Denver there was a group trying to open a center but they were unable to get the funding so it did not happen. I was disappointed when it didn’t happen and had a desire to open one, but never believed I could actually do it. Upon coming home from the 2,500 mile road trip I ran into a woman I had not seen for a long time and started telling her about my trip to AZ. She said, “why don’t we have one here?” That statement changed my life! It was at that moment I knew what I had to do…this was around April, 2010. I opened Life Center on October 20, 2010. Fast forward to late 2014, the inventor of the light box delivered another version of his technology to Life Center and I can’t exactly tell you all the changes that have taken place in my mind, body and spirit from this new and very different technology. I can tell you that this technology incorporated a horizontal semi-360-degree resonant chamber that uses sound, light, vibrations and frequencies together in a way to more deeply reinforce the natural healing ability of the human body. This natural healing ability is enhanced because the cells in the body are reset, rebalanced and reprogrammed back to their pure (healthy) energy frequencies. Clients who have now used both the light box and the other technology, have told us that the second version worked faster and increased their healing ability much more. The good news is that Life Center is not just for sick people, it is also for people who want to use it as a preventative maintenance tool in their own health care regime.

Since 2016 we are using the next generation of sound and light technology here at Life Center. It’s called the Harmonic Egg and it’s a true 360-degree immersive healing experience (in the shape of an egg). You are in a reclined position (chair) and the sound resonates in it’s holographic-like micro-environment. Instead of hearing the sound from a speaker, you hear it in what I think is its natural broadcast. However, there are speakers in there to give it the ability to do this.

In 2018, we brought in a new Harmonic Egg design to immerse animals / pets with their humans and this has been an amazing creation. The animals / pets are having profound healing and holding the results. You can read more on the website under testimonials (https://lifecenter.us). One of the doctors we work with said this, “animals only know love and if we, as humans, only knew love we could heal as fast as they do.” My life has changed more profoundly since the Harmonic Egg. I am having more vivid dreams, I am more intuitive, things are flowing even more than they flowed with the box, I am happier, healthier and have noticed more peace and harmony in all aspects of my life.

In 2019 we created 6 Harmonic Egg Wellness Tracks just for the architecture of the Harmonic Egg. The Tracks are titled, Boost Immunity, Heavy Metal Detox, Liver Remedy, Reduce Inflammation, Stress Less and Kid’s Sanctuary. The harmonic immersive programs resonate the body’s energetic system and together with the immersive experience in the egg, create a significant opportunity for transformation and deep healing to occur at the root causal level. The Harmonic Egg Wellness Tracks are also available to the public for purchase and home use. (http://www.harmonicegg.com). These programs do not “cure” anything. They resonate and “tune” the body and the mind, open the energetic channels and release the body’s vital force, its natural healing energy, creating the opportunity for the body mind to heal itself. Secondarily, the programs bring the energetic into alignment by resonating the body mind with specific key signatures and frequencies. When these are received by the client, their energy, their presence seriously enhances the body’s ability to heal. Third, the immersive experience is a vibrational sound “bath.” This is facilitated through the conscious (intentional) composing and then mixing and mastering process. Our programs surround the client with beautiful harmony and sound, a multidimensional experience that facilitates the body’s natural healing process to the highest level. These notions of creating the conditions for the body mind to “heal itself” is the whole deal….this is the primary intention. I am excited for all of you to experience the greatness of the Life Center and encourage you to browse the website (https://lifecenter.us) to learn more about it. Feel free to contact me with any questions. I am available to serve you in your journey to a healthy YOU. We are getting more and more interest from people and doctors to purchase the Harmonic Egg. If you are interested in finding out how to purchase a Harmonic Egg, please contact us at 303-630-9218 or visit http://www.harmonicegg.com. Read the full article

#harmonicegg #lightbox #story

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za3k · 5 years ago

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Life-logging in 2019

I’ve been keeping a time log since somewhere around 2011. A time log is a journal with a complete record of everything I do. I’ve become very consistent about it, so this seemed like a good time to write up my current habits for anyone interested.

This is going to be a mixture of information about life-logging, how I organize things, and my current schedule, because they’re not really separate things.

There’s an interesting story about how I systematically broke everyone one of my habits, and it took me 17 years to get in a daily routine after that, but that’s a story for another time.

If you’re curious, I’d guess it takes me 2 hours a week spread out to do my life-logging, 1 hour to type it up, and 1-2 hours to do my weekly review. In my mind the original life-logging doesn’t cost me anything because it’s so automatic, it’s zero-energy, and it has some psychic benefits. By psychic benefits I’m talking about the same kind of thing you get from GTD–you’re not constantly thinking about or trying to remember things that are already written down in a trusted system. Typing it up and review are not free.

Time log (2011-)

I keep a written (pen and paper) time log which I normally just call my “log book”. Each entry has the current time and what I’m doing. I typically record an entry either when I start an activity, finish one, or notice I’ve switched activities. I’m on volume 9.

Today’s page starts like this (italics are censorship or words added for clarity):

Date: 2019-12-17, Tue 12:02pm Woke up on my own slightly before alarm. Dream about […]. (7h12m sleep)[100ml yellow rockstar recovery. (33mg caffein, 400mg taurine–from front material)]Morning data log (see below)Brushed teeth12:55pmCancelled torrent verification–I already know this will failResponded to gnu coreutils ‘date’ threadhealth stuff2:02pmTrying qutebrowser. Feels very productive.2:04pm[Coke Zero Vanilla, 1 can]

I’m not fastidious about what the time represents. The questions I most often ask are “when did this happen roughly” and “do I have any big portions of my day I’m not time-logging”. I’m less concerned with exactly how long I spent doing each particular activity.

There are some things I try to consistently write down every single time, including:

Exactly when I woke up, especially if I don’t use the computer first thing (see “Sleep Log” below)

Any dream if I remember it

Any food or drink I consume, with enough information that I could generate nutritional facts if I wanted. I omit food amounts if it’s a pain to measure. 1 package of ramen: yes, 125g chicken curry: no. I put food and drinks in hard brackets: []

Watching a movie, TV show, youtube, or reading a book. I used to underline these, now I’m trying putting them between underscores: _. I’m switching to write these in a computer-understandable way but it’s a work in progress.

Anything health-related, including symptoms, drugs I took, and bathroom visits. Drugs are a type of food [], the rest is freeform.

Travel from point A to B

Phone calls. I don’t always manage this one. While you’re picking up the phone is a really garbage time to try and write something.

Any time I change timezones

Any time I work on a project for more than a couple minutes

“Where did that time go”: one of the goals here is to have no huge gaps. If I spent time browsing the web or researching, some vague notes on what about. If I talk to someone in person, noting who and possibly what topics we talked about (talking in person often feels like minutes in my head but hours on the clock).

Here are things I don’t write down:

Information that I’ve put elsewhere. See below for specifics on what else I have! This one isn’t hard and fast, but I’m a believer in things being in “exactly one place” as much as possible–I do make some exceptions since I’m working with paper

General-purpose notetaking, thoughts about what’s going on, TODO lists, etc. This is just a boring ol’ record of time. I do sometimes jot down TO-DOs when out of the house since this is the only paper I carry on me, but at the rate of 1-3 a week. I also may write down where I’m at in a really long-running computer project, just to make sure I can find it later.

Anything a human shouldn’t have to write or read. For example, I could write down the youtube URL or the UPC code of everything I buy… but nobody has time for that, and I’d only write it down wrong.

At the front of the book I have a table with guides to abbreviations, ingredients in things I have often (ex. caffein amounts or recipes). In the back is my bookkeeping section (see below).

I am currently using the Leuchtturm1917 gridded notebook, with date labels at the top of the page. I’ve been experimenting with felt micron pens–I’m looking for something that can write easily, but won’t smear when I close the book. I’ve used Moleskins in the past–I stopped using them because 2 of 5 split at the spine for me. Leuctturm seems a bit better but more expensive–time will tell.

One a week, I type up my time log up to the last page. I’m working on my backlog slowly. This lets me search more easily. I have plans to someday cross-reference better in a computer system (for example, include nutritional info, link to youtube videos, etc).

Bookkeeping (2019-)

Fun fact: b-oo-kk-ee-ping is the only word in the English language with three consecutive double letters. Bookkeeping is keeping a record of what you earn and spend, or what you buy and sell.

For the most part, I pay for everything using a credit or debit card, which I’ve been doing since 16 so that I have a financial record for my own benefit. Most banks offer an easy export. I get paper copies, then once I download the PDFs from my bank, throw out the originals (I’ve checked one or two match the PDFs by hand). I use mint.com for the purpose of having a CSV export from my bak statements. I used to put this export online (currently broken, check back soon).

Starting a few months ago, I started keeping a weekly record by hand. Every time I spend money, I’ll put a $ symbol in my time log,

2:21am Amazon $

and add a bookkeeping entry (real thing is prettier).

2019-12-15, Sun [ ] Amazon -29.21 -236.07 Choline citrate, 500g

The entry includes:

The date (2019-12-15)

Where I spent the money (Amazon)

How much money (29.21)

How much total I’ve spent this week (236.07)

What I bought (Choline citrate, 500g). If it was more than one thing, how much each item cost. I’ll try and write price-per-pound if I’m buying bulk food or meat. If I’m buying more than one of something, I’ll write how many I bought and how much each is. I’d like to consistently write down how much of something I got (ex. 16oz of cheese) but I don’t at all yet.

If it’s something that needs to be delivered, I’ll write a checkbox. Then when it arrives, I’ll check the box and write down the date it arrived to the right. This way I can easily scan and see if something never got delivered.

Since I use the same book for my time log and my bookkeeping, bookkeeping goes from right to left, two pages per week. At the end of the book, I keep

a running record of any debts I owe

any undelivered packages from the previous log book

During my weekly review process, I copy this information to my (digital) weekly review and add it up by category to check against my budget. I used to check it against my bank statements, but it takes forever and it’s easier to just be really good about writing down everything to start with. Checking totals and category totals is pretty time consuming the way I do it, I’ll probably automate it soon.

Budget

My current categories are:

taxes, bills, rent: Predictable expenses, no need to check these on a regular basis. I separate out medical bills in my summary, which are not regular.

travel, hard drives, moving: Big but one-off expenses. Currently I don’t have a way to budget these.

charity: I aim for 10% of my income after taxes (a tithe)

other: The main budget category, I try to keep this at $1000/month ($240/week). I actually break it down into categories like “food”, “groceries”, and “luxuries” so I know what happened, as well as pulling out any single big expenses.

Weekly Schedule (2019-)

My current schedule is weekly:

Monday: Do meal planning for the week, and grocery shopping for the week if needed.

Tuesday: Cook food for the week.

Thursday: Batch day. Do all the small chores (<1 hour) on one day. I aim for around 2-4 hours of chores, but I’m fine skipping a batch day if I don’t really have anything. I almost always clean my room and do laundry at minimum. I also have a running list of small tasks: call the doctor, clean the fridge, fix SSL certs.

Friday: Review day. I’ll do a weekly review, and a monthly one if it’s the last weekly review of the month. Then I’ll type up the timelog up to that point in time. For my weekly review, which I do on my computer, I write down

How much sleep I got on average

What I did each day of the week (summary of that day’s time log). Typically once I cut out really boring things (brush your teeth), food, movies, etc there’s not all that much left.

Accomplishments. Anything I got done this week. Also, any big milestones reached (finished X) even if the last step wasn’t that impressive.

Reflection/things learned: Did anything major happen? Did I learn any new facts? This is my time to look at the big picture and thing about how my life is going lately and where I’d like it to go. Also, if anything especially good/bad happened, I try to think about why and how to make things go well next time.

Finances. I copy down my expenses for the week and total them by category.

Saturday: Nothing planned.

Sunday: Nothing planned.

I haven’t done batch cooking in a while, but I’m also trying to run out my food supplies because I’m about to move, so we’ll see if it sticks around.

Daily Log (2019-)

Every morning, I record:

The date and time I’m recording

How much sleep I got (but not when I went to sleep or woke up)

What day it is in my schedule

The temperature of the room

My body temperature (am I running a fever?)

How much exercise I got yesterday, in minutes (and what type)

My weight

I don’t think it matters that much how you do these measurements, but it’s important to be consistent (for example, weight with clothes on/off?)

If I have a specific habit I’m trying to pick up (say, brushing my teeth twice a day or meditating) I might record that for a while too each day. I used to record a mission for the day, but I dropped the habit.

Automatic Logs

I put all my computer logs in a single combined format, and sync them to a single location, starting in 2019. The format is basically <date> [<log name>:<computer name>] <Log entry>. I don’t have a great process to view logs yet.

Sleep Log (2019-) / Keystoke Activity Log (2013-)

I log which hours I was asleep. I live alone and tend to fall asleep first thing after closing my laptop in bed, or at least with a video playing in the background, which makes this relatively easy. I keep a computer log of whether I’m using my keyboard (I almost never do anything with just the mouse) for each minute using a custom-built keylogger (it records activity but not passwords).

Then I run it through a custom script (included in link) which says which broad periods I was active. The biggest inactive period in a day is when I was asleep.

~ $ sleep? Report period: 2019-12-17 00:00:00 – 2019-12-17 16:21:06 (16:21:06s) Inactive: 2019-12-17 04:50:18 – 2019-12-17 12:02:58 ( 7:12:40s)

I was asleep from 4:50am to 12:02pm. I make sure to write down when I wake up into my time log in case I don’t use the computer first thing. This has been much better at guessing when I fell asleep than anything else I’ve tried.

If you don’t fall asleep at a computer, I have some ideas around using a motion sensor (cheap webcams can see in the dark)

Chromium History Log (2013-)

I use Chromium as my only web browser. I export the history and bookmarks every time I do a backup, and put it all in a standard log format (basically time + URL). Currently I only record each history entry once.

For futureproofing, I archive every webpage I go to on an irregular basis (about once a year). Archiving pages doesn’t work super well but it’s better than nothing.

Video/TV Log (2019-)

I watch my movies using noice, either directly on my television, or streamed from my media server to my laptop. When I start watching something, it automatically gets logged (including what the movie is, the path, how long it is etc). Same for when I stop, so I know if I quit early.

Youtube is included in my chromium history (see above). Sadly I’m not sure I can get ‘how much of this video did I watch’ from my format–only that I visited the video.

For futureproofing, I automatically archive every youtube video I watch.

Bash History (2011-)

This one is pretty simple. My Linux shell history (everything I run from the command line, which is basically everything I do outside a browser) is saved, forever. This one goes back to 2011 for my laptops.

Scanning (2014-)

I scan all documents I write, mail I get, etc. and generally throw out the originals. I organize everything by hand, and keep everything as image files.

I use a flat folder structure, which is to say I have a “scans” folder and then a bunch of folders in it like “taxes – 2019”. No nesting. This was my main takeaway from GTD for Hackers and I use flat folders for most digital organization.

I use the Doxie Go feed-through scanner (doesn’t need a computer, writes directly to SD which I love). I recently got a Canon Lide 400 flatbed scanner (works on linux) which I use to scan bound books like my time log.

Who else does this stuff?

As far as I know I came up with this stuff independently. I’ve read plenty of time-management resources (which tend to be good) and experimental journaling resources (which tend to be… scarce?).

Lion Kimbro: “Make a complete map of every thought you think”. General journaling. Inteview.

Fenn Lipowitz (my roommate): Time log, with an emphasis on being completely machine-readable. Being machine-readable means click for pretty graphs. I took inspiration from how machine-parsable this was recently, but I want to keep my freehand sections too.

Bryan Bishop (acquaintance): meetlog, a system for recording conversations and topics of conversation. Overall I didn’t find this useful because I don’t know hundreds of people. The format is so-so, largely because the author can type very fast, including real-time transcripts. I got the inspiration to write topics of conversation while talking from this. I do something similar if I spend a long time thinking or researching, too.

Bullet Journaling: I dunno, if you’re super lost and don’t know how to write a journal/TODO list, some guy figured it out for you! It’s just the basics that you’d figure out on your own, but it may save time. The site is better than the book. I independently invented most of their notation for TODO lists, I don’t find it too useful for a journal. Other peoples’ bullet journal pages are also useful, not just the original author’s.

Life-logging in 2019 was originally published on Optimal Prime

#bash history #browser history #daily log #forever #journal #lifelogging #log #schedule #self #self-improvement #sleep log #timelog #watch #cross-posted-from-blog

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thepoolscene · 6 years ago

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The Pool Scene - - Uncategorized

New Post on https://thepoolscene.com/uncategorized/two-familiar-foes-from-the-same-country-will-square-off-sunday-night-in-the-finals-of-the-wps-predator-grand-final

Two familiar foes from the same country will square off Sunday night in the finals of the WPS Predator Grand Final

By Keith Paradise – World champion and Billiards Congress of America Hall of Famer Ralf Souquet will face reigning WPA World 9-Ball champion Joshua Filler at Astoria’s Steinway Billiards. Souquet, who lost his first match of the tournament to Mike Dechaine then battled his way through the one-loss side of the bracket, squeaked by James Aranas in the semifinals, 13-11. The brash, young Filler jumped out to a commanding lead against England’s Chris Melling then held on for a 13-8 victory in the second semifinal of the day.

The championship match with begin at 7 PM. Eastern time. Fans wanting to watch the match can purchase the Pay-Per-View stream on the World Pool Series website.

After Souquet and the young Filipino split the first four games of the match, the German used two dry breaks from his opponent and a break-and-run of his own to help win the next five games and build a 7-2 lead. Souquet then used missed shots by Aranas in the 11th and 14th games to claim five out of seven more racks to build an impressive 10-4 advantage. Aranas cut the lead to 10-5 after his opponent scratched, then narrowed the deficit further in the 16th rack when Souquet misplayed position to the 9 ball from the 8 ball, leaving a difficult cut shot which he missed.

“I told myself, ‘don’t get short and that’s exactly what happened. That’s the worst thing you can actually do,” Souquet said. “I just shot it wrong. I had a plan in mind and stayed to the plan. I just wanted to hold the cue ball and that’s why I missed it.”

From this point on, momentum swung to Aranas, who mixed in some victorious safety exchanges, breaks and runs and a couple of errors by Souquet to win six consecutive racks and tie the score at 10 games each. Standing at the table in the 21st game, Aranas had a chance to take the lead after Souquet missed the 9 ball. However, the Filipino also failed to pocket the shot and Souquet cleared the table to regain the lead, 11-10. The German then capitalized on a missed bank shot by the Filipino on the 2 ball, clearing the table and then breaking and running out in the 23rd game to close out a match that clocked in at over three-hours.

“In the second half of the match I had some trouble getting over the finish line,” Souquet said. “Luckily he made another mistake and gave me a chance to win the last three games.”

Souquet will now face fellow countryman and former doubles partner Filler, who put on an impressive performance against Melling in the second semifinal of the afternoon. Using a couple of run-outs paired with two scratches by the Englishman, the former Mosconi Cup Most Valuable Player jumped out to a fast 6-0 lead in a race-to-13.

“This match was really good, in my opinion. I got out to a 6-0 lead and started to play pretty perfectly,” Filler said.

Melling tacked on a couple racks to narrow the gap to 6-2 but Filler charged back, winning six of the next seven games to take command, 12-3. With the finish line in sight, the young German became a bit complacent, committing a foul, misplaying a safety and missing a shot in subsequent games. Melling took full advantage, storming back to cut the lead to 12-8.

“I started making more mistakes and he started to run out,” Filler said. “I think in my head I was already in the finals and I think that’s why I started to make some mistakes.”

Melling had an opportunity to cut into the lead more but failed to pocket a ball on the break in the 21st game. After a brief safety exchange, Filler was able to clear the table and close out the set to advance to this evening’s finals.

“In the end I got it done and I’m just happy that I’m in the finals now,” Filler said.

This last event of the 2018 World Pool Series, The Predator Grand Final, is being held at Steinway Billiards in Astoria, Queens, New York City from January 17-20, 2019. The World Pool Series is sponsored by Predator, Poison, Aramith, Rasson, Iwan Simonis, Tiger, and Kamui. Our suppliers and partners are Billiards Digest, CueScore, Let’s Go Print, Outsville, UpState Al, and the WPA.

For more information on the World Pool Series, please visit www.worldpoolseries.com.

Follow the World Pool Series on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/worldpoolseries/ Twitter: @WorldPoolSeries Instagram: @WorldPoolSeries

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years ago

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Garth Crooks’ team of the week: De Gea, Maguire, Tomori, Buendia, Abraham, Mane

Defending champions Manchester City suffered a shock 3-2 defeat at Norwich City after Liverpool maintained their 100% record with a 3-1 win over Newcastle.

Chelsea picked up a 5-2 win at Wolves, while Tottenham cruised past Crystal Palace 4-0.

Manchester United returned to winning ways with a narrow 1-0 win over Leicester as Watford recovered to draw 2-2 with Arsenal.

Elsewhere, Bournemouth won 3-1 against Everton, Southampton secured a valuable 1-0 win at Sheffield United and Brighton drew 1-1 with Burnley.

Here’s my team of the week – have a read and select your own below.

Goalkeeper – David de Gea (Man Utd)

David de Gea: The save from Leicester’s James Maddison with only a few moments gone was superb and the tip over the bar from a Ben Chilwell strike that was dipping viciously under the bar dealt with an effort that had real menace.

De Gea took some ferocious stick towards the end of last season from people who should have known better. The suggestion that the Spain international keeper should have been left out of the Manchester United team line-up was as hysterical as it gets.

Reports that De Gea is close to signing a new contract puts some of those comments in to their proper perspective and it will be the best bit of business United have done for some considerable time.

Did you know? David de Gea has already kept as many Premier League clean sheets at Old Trafford this season (2) as he did in the entirety of the 2018-19 campaign.

Defenders – Serge Aurier (Tottenham), Fikayo Tomori (Chelsea), Harry Maguire (Man Utd), Andrew Robertson (Liverpool)

Serge Aurier: Every time I have seen Aurier play for Tottenham I have been left desperately disappointed and quite often angry. Disappointed because of his lack of performance and angry because of his inability to respect the depth of quality in the Premier League.

This is not France where there are only a couple of decent teams in the league but the toughest and most demanding league in the world. Against Crystal Palace the former Paris St-Germain defender woke up to that fact and finally played like it. And about time.

Did you know? As well as providing an assist, Aurier made more crosses from open play (4) than any other player in Spurs’ win over Crystal Palace.

Fikayo Tomori: What a goal. What’s more he meant it. This performance by this youngster was outstanding and his goal only tells half the story.

Playing in a back three, he was amazing. Tomori’s confidence to take the ball into the danger area and provide the assist for Tammy Abraham suggest this lad is no ordinary defender. This is someone I intend keeping my eye on.

As for Wolves’ Raul Jimenez, it’s hardly surprising their centre-forward looked dead on his feet – he only returned from Mexico City on Thursday morning and expects to bother Chelsea 48 hours later? Wolves can’t handle Europe and international breaks. Ditch Europe.

Did you know? Tomori’s long-range strike against Wolves was only his second English league goal in his professional career, in what was his 81st such appearance (excluding play-offs) for Chelsea, Brighton, Hull and Derby.

Harry Maguire: Some players actually look forward to playing against their former clubs – I don’t know why because I hated it. Maguire not only seemed to enjoy playing against the players he once called his team-mates but hardly gave them a kick.

Why Leicester fans felt the need to boo their former player having given them wonderful service and made them a vast sum of money by agreeing to be sold to Manchester United makes you wonder what was it about the move that actually upset them!

Did you know? Against his former side Leicester, Harry Maguire won six of his 10 duels, four of his six aerial duels, made five clearances and won possession six times to help his side to a clean sheet.

Andrew Robertson: It must have been excruciating for Steve Bruce to watch the player he brought to English football tear his resurgent Newcastle apart.

The Scottish international was outstanding yet again for Liverpool. Robertson was so effective down Liverpool’s left-hand side and almost entirely responsible for Sadio Mane’s brilliant opening goal. My only criticism of Robertson is someone who strikes the ball as cleanly as he does should be having more shots on goal. He has the firepower, now apply the confidence.

Did you know? Robertson has made 17 assists in the Premier League since the start of the 2017-18 season, the most of any defender in this period.

Midfielders – Moussa Djenepo (Southampton), Emiliano Buendia (Norwich), Todd Cantwell (Norwich)

Moussa Djenepo: The goal was just wonderful. If this had been scored by David Ginola, Thierry Henry or Gianfranco Zola we would be showing this goal every week for the next three months.

It was Djenepo who produced a little bit of magic in Southampton’s 2-0 defeat of Brighton recently but this is becoming something of a habit. Have the Saints found another Sadio Mane? I think they might have you know.

Did you know? Against Sheffield United, summer-signing Moussa Djenepo netted his second Premier League goal for Southampton courtesy of just his third shot on target in the competition.

Emiliano Buendia: I have seen Norwich in this mood before when they beat Manchester United some years ago and the Canaries gave United superstars no respect whatsoever on that day either. It was like watching history repeat itself, only this time it was against United’s arch rivals and neighbours.

Manchester City were blitzed by Norwich but this time it wasn’t Anthony Pilkington who stunned the visitors but Emiliano Buendia. The Argentine, a £1.5m signing from Getafe, was magnificent. What a contrast to his fellow countryman, the £28.5m Nicolas Otamendi who had an absolute shocker.

Did you know? In their win over Man City, Buendia won more duels (10), had the joint-most touches (61) and tackles (4), completed the most dribbles (5) and won possession (9) more than any other Norwich player.

Todd Cantwell: Well what do we have here? Another England Under-21 international who looks like a player?

Cantwell wanted to be involved in everything Norwich did and if you’re an attacking midfielder it doesn’t get better than that. There was something about Cantwell’s performance that reminded me of a young Frank Lampard but with a sprinkle of arrogance – and I liked it.

It took far too long for this star-studded Manchester City side to get the jet lag out of their system. It looks like the international break may have already robbed City of another Premier League title.

Did you know? Todd Cantwell has already been directly involved in more Premier League goals in 5 games this season (4 – 2 goals, 2 assists) than he was in 24 Championship appearances last season (3 – 1 goal, 2 assists).

Forwards – Son Heung-min (Tottenham), Tammy Abraham (Chelsea), Sadio Mane (Liverpool)

Son Heung-min: I can’t believe Son has not scored a hat-trick in the Premier League. If anyone deserves to have that statistic firmly emblazoned on his CV it should be the South Korea international.

Son was electric against a Crystal Palace side who are blowing hot and cold these days and, against Spurs, were freezing. I understand manager Mauricio Pochettino spent an hour in a “clear the air” meeting with his players. If that’s the response, would he mind saving those discussions for the really big games?

Did you know? Son Heung-min is Spurs’ top scorer across all competitions at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, netting four goals in seven home appearances there.

Tammy Abraham: His first goal against Wolves was alright, his second better and his third outstanding. I said recently said that Frank Lampard had seen something in this kid and we are clearly starting to see the same thing.

If he can remain fit, stay out of the pubs and clubs and look after himself Chelsea may have found a new Peter Osgood. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an English centre forward of Abraham’s size and stature move around the pitch so comfortably and be so competent on the ball.

Osgood was a genius and Abraham has some way to go to get close but all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are there. They just need to be put in the right places.

Did you know? Chelsea striker Tammy Abraham has become just the third player in Premier League history to score two or more goals in three consecutive appearances aged 21 or younger, after Cristiano Ronaldo in December 2006 and Dele Alli in January 2017.

Sadio Mane: It was quite fitting that Mane’s two goals against Newcastle placed the Senegal international with other illustrious African names who have scored 70 goals in the Premier League.

It was also nice to see Mohamed Salah congratulating Mane on his goals after their recent spat at Southampton. Salah’s goal was magnificent but even he must realise that he has to concede the spotlight to team-mates on the odd occasion.

Did you know? Liverpool’s Sadio Mane has never lost a Premier League home game in which he’s found the net, winning 33 and drawing two of his previous 35 games in the competition when doing so.

Now it’s your turn

You’ve seen my selections this season. But who would you go for?

Crooks of the matter

Howay the lads! The unseemly spat between two of England’s greatest finishers made me smile at first and then realise that not much changes in football. For two players, especially strikers, to “have words” with each other is like having a row with you wife. It’s going to happen sooner or later.

In Michael Owen’s recently published book; Reboot – My Life, My Time, he seems to have reopened an old wound with England team-mate and now Match of the Day pundit Alan Shearer. It’s clear Michael desperately wanted to get something off his chest when he claimed in his book that he never really wanted to go to St James’ Park.

I suspect Shearer could have let that go. However, what Newcastle’s record goalscorer could not let go was the claim by Owen that his beloved Newcastle was “only a big club because they have lots of fans and a big stadium”.

I have no doubt that Alan and Michael will find a way past this public disagreement but Newcastle fans will find forgiveness a little more difficult.

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#Gossip Garth Crooks’ team of the week: De Gea #Maguire #Tomori #Buendia #Abraham #Mane

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colorfulstudentpuppyblr-blog · 7 years ago

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Coming to be A Managing Train.

And Emergency Room Doctor Benjamin Yoo, MD that saw the need. to make a sports consume alcohol that renews electrolytes in the same manner that IVs due in regards to dehydration. He has run 100 kilometers numerous opportunities, and also he and his better half, Pam Golden, have actually run the Grand Gulch, the mom from all tracks, edge to edge and also back. Something as basic as restricted or even inadequate torso flexion or hip expansion (something I have actually been actually analyzed as having) can adversely affect your body's ability to effectively find out a brand-new operating style. I played Audiofuel's marathon future instruction treatments which are actually 2 x 1 hour each. lifestyleblog-hu.com/ gets immediately posted to the Nike+ site as well as there you can watch some rather charts and acquire the code for a widget on your blog/website/social networking web page. Uh oh, I believed - this doesn't forebode effectively for the Pilgrims Hospice Cycle Difficulty tomorrow, therefore when I received home I put on the ActiPatch to see if this assisted. No Footstock concert this year (allow's chance they carry that back for the 100th running upcoming year), so our experts had to create our very own enjoyable at the end. When I landed on my ball ofthe foot like I perform when running barefoot, they have no support under the feet and bind my toes in to the ground. Focusing on type and instruction patterns will definitely far over-shadow any operating shoe on the planet in terms of managing a persistent injury. Therefore after the run took place and also I was actually residence and also extending, I always remembered there was actually an unsettled banking company problem" that required attention (my sector at the same time) to ensure produced some stress and anxiety as well as postponed me. By the time I resided in the shower it was a little after 7am as well as I was actually snapping at the little ones to merely be actually good and also clean up" (my go-to random fully unproductive mom-rant). We both always enjoyed to run the kilometer in P.E. course, yet it had not been up until participating in the Sixth quality cross country that our company really started to get involved in running. Active Release Techniques is actually a massage located strategy that utilizes specific pressure, placed with just a company's hands, and certain activities to segregate personal muscular tissues. Begun running in 1984 and so much have never missed greater than 3 consecutive days. Put on a rain-resistant shell - If storm is actually hazy or even lightweight, choose a breathable, rain-resistant shell like this Oiselle Wallace Jacket or Brooks LSD Running Coat (Reward: each coats fold right into their personal little bags.) Keep in mind, I composed breathable as well as rain-RESISTANT, which suggests certainly not waterproof. Mitchell had a fifty percent tour to enter the 1st lower leg from the 4x400-meter relay initiations as well as needed to determine to maintain managing or even drop the competition and cease. Practical and also perfect (unless that's really cold out ...) The shoes are Hoka Stinson 3. I've possessed a couple of inhibiting competitions recently (the Brooklyn One-half Marathon, the Mini 10K as well as, most lately, the Fairfield One-half Endurance) that have actually left me seeming like I need to don't forget why I manage: since I adore it and also given that that is actually enjoyable. Nevertheless, it is still unclear whether active mommies influenced their children to become extra energetic or if already active little ones were actually making their mamas rollick after all of them, Hesketh warned.

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creativelitlover · 7 years ago

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Hi readers, hope your having a super awesome day! I have enjoyed OBSESSING over The Ending Series so much, and who’d of thought just a little tag in a fan art piece, by yours truly, started the on going blog posts and art work. Not forgetting how amazing team Lindsey has been…. hopefully I didn’t get on their nerves to much with the constant tags 😊 I have loved every second of it, and The Ending Series will always have a place in my heart and on my TOP shelf!

I was invited to join a VIP reader group, and I was over the moon! Lindsey Pogue has been great, we have spoken over social media which I then asked if I could do a feature Author Interview for my blog and they said yes!!

I seriously can’t get enough of this series!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Anyway that’s enough about me let’s meet the Authors to this AMAZING series……

The Ending Series- Question time 😉

1. I’m an emotional wreck when reading and quite often find my eyes blurring with stray tears….the ending series got me good! Real good!! What was the first book that made you cry?

LP: I honestly can’t remember the first book that made me cry, but I can tell you that I cry a lot. I even cry while I’m writing gut-wrenching parts of a story or while I’m watching sappy commercials. When I read Me Before You, I got teary-eyed, but when I watched the movie, knowing what would happen, I bawled my eyes out.

LF: It’s so amazing when we hear that our books create a strong emotional reaction in readers, especially because we had strong emotional connections to the characters as we were writing their stories. I usually have a moment or two during each project where I tear up during the first draft phase, and it’s no different for me when I’m reading other people’s books. The last one to make me cry was the beta version of Sarah Lyons Fleming’s Peripeteia, but the first book to make me cry…hmmmm. I’m certain that plenty of books made me cry when I was younger, but the first book I can vividly remember crying while reading was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I was in tenth grade, I think, and I was outright ugly crying during that scene in the Department of Mysteries when Sirius, well, you know…

2. I can feel rather overwhelmed when my creativity is flowing and sometimes writing really does exhaust me, so I’d love to know… Does writing energise you or exhaust you?

LP: I think it depends on where I’m at in the writing process. If I have a deadline, it’s exhausting because I can’t let my mind rest. If I’m chilling and flowing with a glass of bubbles, lovin’ life, it’s energizing and I don’t want to stop.

LF: Both! I definitely reach a done point during days when I’m writing for the full day, and if I’ve been pushing out books back-to-back, I generally need to take a loooong break (think, vacation) after the second or third book. That being said, during each project, I seem to reach a point where the story is snowballing, and I can’t seem to get it out quickly enough. It’s all I can think about. It’s in my dreams. I don’t want to watch or read anything. I don’t want to see people. I become obsessed with the story, and that feeling is intoxicating.

3. I personally love series! Particularly The Ending Series hehe, and love delving deep into the characters lives…. Do you prefer to read series or stand-alone? And why? LP: Generally, I like a good series. I feel like you can get to know characters so much more and it’s satisfying to be able to hold on to them a bit longer than a standalone allows (Pride and Prejudice, for example). BUT, I read standalones just as much and bear them no ill-will. Haha.

LF: I have a strong preference for series, especially long series. I love it when the characters start to feel like real people to me, and that usually doesn’t happen after just a single book—at least, not for me.

4. We all know mine! 😉 Do you have a favourite book/series? LP: I wish I read more for pleasure these days, but I haven’t been reading as much as I used to. I’m lucky if I get in my book club book in a month (sad, I know). I do a lot of beta reading, as well, so I stumble across some amazing series that way. I can tell you that I used to be obsessed with J.R. Ward’s Blackdagger Brotherhood and I nearly peed my pants with glee when Blay and Quinn got their own book. Sigh.

LF: My all-time favorite series is Kim Harrison’s Hollows series, starting off with Dead Witch Walking, but I have many other near-favorites ranging from Urban to Epic Fantasy to Paranormal or Time Travel Romance to Dystopian and beyond.

5. I’d love to know…. Do you prefer to read or write romance?

LP: I enjoy writing it, but I LOVE reading it more, I think. It’s less stressful and I can sit back and enjoy the ride. J

LF: Um…both? I love the surprise of reading stories with a strong romantic plot or subplot, but I have to admit that writing the romantic subplot is one of my favorite parts of each project. And there’s nothing better than a slow-burn, long build-up romance, which is what I’ve got going on in my Urban Fantasy series, the Kat Dubois Chronicles. I’m several books in, and things are finally starting to happen with the main character and her intended love interest. This next book’s going to be pretty fun to write… 😉

6. I’m writing my first novel and I’m not looking forward to editing it…. Did you edit a lot from The Ending series? If so, was it hard to take parts out of your beloved story? LP: We edited After The Ending SO much it’s crazy. We changed the tense, we took out chapters and scenes and emails—added text messages…the list goes on. Revising has good and bad connotations for me. It’s daunting in that you need to be able to admit that your first draft was crap. That’s just the way it works. But when you revise it, you get to focus on making it better instead of just getting it down on paper. You get to add in the fun details and focus on the characters more than the story, if that makes sense. It does free you mind a bit to know you will be coming back to each word (many times), so writing, “his eyes looked like (something)” helps you keep going when you’re flowing and you can fill in the particulars later J

LF: I love editing and revising! I think that embracing that phase has really helped to free up my imagination during the outlining and first draft writing phases of each project, to the degree that those first drafts end up being better and requiring less revising. It’s a win-win! But yes, for the first couple books, it was hard to cut parts, but we did. We cut entire scenes, even resequencing one of the books altogether. But in the end, that book is so much better than it was originally, and when I read it, I can’t even remember what we wrote originally. For me, the cutting of lines, scenes, and even entire characters has gotten much easier with each consecutive project, but it wasn’t easy, at first.

7. I’ve yet to come up with an actual way to choose characters names…. But how did you select names for your characters from The Ending series? LP: Because we started off writing a blog, we didn’t think about names the way he should have (Camille, Clara, Cece, Cam). We got a lot of flack for not switching them up enough and making it confusing for readers. Now, names are SO important to me. In my Saratoga Falls Love Story, Nothing But Trouble, I had THE perfect name in my head for Colton Hayes’ character—that was his identity. But when beta readers got ahold of the manuscript, there was concern because of an actor named Colton Haynes and that was distracting them while reading. I had to change my Colton’s last name and it was SO hard to do.

LF: Funny you should ask that! I think our method (or lack there of) for choosing character names early on in the creation of The Ending Series is one of the things we would do differently, if given the chance (Jason, Jake, Jack…). Now, I make sure that few, if any, names start with the same first letter, and pay attention to (and try to avoid) names that rhyme, as well.

8. What was the hardest scene to write? LP: Hmmm…shootout scenes are always difficult for me—Into The Fire, in the center of town, outside the Colony, and in Before The Dawn with the final showdown, if you know what I mean. It’s often hard for me to wrap my head around “strategic” ways to kill people, fight each other, etc.

LF: Those final few scenes in the last book of The Ending Series were pretty tough. We wanted to make sure we delivered on everything we’d promised throughout the series, and we ended up heavily revising the ending—cutting one scene entirely and bulking up another quite a bit. I’m super happy with how it all wrapped up, but it wasn’t easy getting there. In another series, I had a scene where I literally wrote my character into a bathroom, trapping her in there with no way out. It took me a week or two to figure my way out of that one, and now I think it’s one of the most memorable scenes in that book.

9. Did you have to set yourself writing goals? Is that the best way to get things finished…. as I struggle to juggle writing and family life. LP: Yes. My entire day is planned around writing. I write for two(+) hours in the morning, then go to my day job. On my full writing days, I try to write for at least half the day and use the second half for the marketing and the business side of it (there’s A LOT to do all the time). If I’m on a deadline, I’ll set word counts per day or week.

LF: I write first thing in the morning, Monday through Friday. No social media, no checking stats and sales. And absolutely no emails. I walk the dogs, make my tea, then cuddle up with the cats and my laptop and settle in to write. I stop at lunch and spend the afternoon doing more business-y things. That schedule works for me, but each person is different. The only absolute is that you have to get butt-in-seat time. Figure out what motivates you, what you need to do to hold yourself accountable, and get your butt in that seat. 🙂

10. If you could spend time with a character from your book…. who would it be and what would you do?? LP: Normally, I would say Harper. But, today, I’m feeling like it would be Jake. It’s hilarious to think about. I have NO clue what I would say or do, especially since he’s the strong silent type. **Cue the crickets and awkward silence** I could pick is brain about spin-off series stuff, though J

LF: From The Ending Series? I’d have to say Jason… *blushes*

11. What genre do you prefer to write? And would you consider writing in another genre? LP: I always say that writing, for me, is like Skittles—I want to taste (write) the rainbow. I write multiple genres, including post-apocalyptic, contemporary new adult, historical fiction, alternative history… all with a splash of romance. I love myself a good love story, so you’ll always find that in my books.

LF: I’m pretty happy with anything in the Science Fiction or Fantasy realm. I’m writing Urban Fantasy right now, but I’ve also finished up a Paranormal Romance/Time Travel series and a Post-apocalyptic/Dystopian series (obviously). One genre I’ve yet to tackle but would like to one day is Space Opera, and I’d also like to try my hand and Epic Fantasy.

12. What is your method when creating first thoughts of your writing and ideas? LP: Honestly, I need to bounce ideas off of people, so I generally come up with a basic story outline and ideas, then I go have drinks with my friend(s) and they give me feedback. It also helps get me exciting about starting something new, which can be daunting at times. I’m a verbal processer, for sure.

LF: I go for walks. Lots and lots of walks. I listen to audiobooks I’ve already read/listened to, usually books in the genre I’m currently writing, and just sort of zone out, letting my thoughts wander through the potential story. I usually do that for a few days, jotting down ideas in a notebook, before actually attempting an outline.

13. Do you have a favourite place and time to write?

LP: Once I get my office fixed up, I will hopefully never want to leave, though right now, I would take the couch to my office (in disarray, though that’s where I sit now). As far as a time to write, I’m currently trying to train my brain to write in the morning. I like to write in the evening when things are quiet and chill, but after work is always crazy and cuts into my writing time. Mornings are more conducive to my crazy life, at least while I have a day job.

LF: Morning, sitting on the couch in my office with a cup of tea and a cat or two.

14. Do you write everyday?

LP: If I have a draft to write, then yes, at least Monday – Friday. Weekends, sometimes. If I’m revising/editing/plotting, I’ll use my writing time in the mornings to do that (or answer interview questions J)

LF: Sort of. I either outline, write, revise, or on the very rare occasion, beta read during my morning block. And I take weekends off. I didn’t use to, and I found I was draining my creative energy faster that I could replenish it. Now, I’ve found a good, healthy balance.

15. What else do we have to look forward to from you both?

LP: Now that Dust and Shadow is finished (or in the final round of editing), I will dive into the 3rd book in my Saratoga Falls Love Stories, Told You So. I’m excited to change things up a bit. Creating a new world for Dust and Shadow was exhausting. Revisiting the Saratoga Falls crew will be like hanging out with old friends. (LF can speak to the Ending Series goodies coming up.)

LF: Well, we’ve got one more project planned for The Ending Series proper—World After: A Collection of Stories. It’s companion book, World Before, comes out on July 31. We have a spinoff project planned, as well, but that’s farther off. Otherwise, I’m currently writing Soul Eater, the fourth book in my Urban Fantasy series, the Kat Dubois Chronicles, and I plan on writing at least two more books in that series before starting something else new.

How amazing are these guys!!!

Hope you have enjoyed getting to know these two fab Authors because I have!!

Have a slideshow of my fan inspired work ☺️✌️

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Happy reading guys 😊

Author Interview ❤️ Hi readers, hope your having a super awesome day! I have enjoyed OBSESSING over The Ending Series so much, and who'd of thought just a little tag in a fan art piece, by yours truly, started the on going blog posts and art work.

#aftertheending #amazing #amreading #blogger #bookreview #excited #intothefire #lindseyfairleigh #lindseypogue #outoftheashes #romance #theendingseries #books #reading #review

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adventuresaroundasia · 8 years ago

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I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time. Well, never fear monthly recap posts are here!

Merry Christmas from China!

Yes, I know the month is half over. But you know what? I was busy!

I considered abandoning writing this December review altogether, especially considering I gave you all a yearly review already, but then I realized I’d be giving up on the one thing I do on this blog with actual consistency.

So, here we are! At least December was interesting.

Where I Went

I stayed in Beijing the whole month of December right up until the last few days where I took a flight home to Seattle!

Highlights

Wonder why it took so long…

1. So… I’m No Longer Single

Yeah, THAT happened.

Remember that one time I published an article about my quarter-life crisis and had a job and a plan just one month later? Well, I guess all I need to do is publish a viral article on Huffington Post and Matador Network about how travel is ruining my love life, and then the sexy traveling men come running!

If you read my writing with any consistency (or follow my Snapchat), I’m sure you know exactly who I’m dating. If not, you’ll figure it out when I head to Sumatra with him in two weeks.

So, what’s changing now that I have an actual real relationship and not just 3-6 month casual flings? Well, we’re going to write a couples blog together!!!

… Just kidding.

Pretty much nothing with change except for the fact that I’ll be going on my annual Chinese New Year trip with him instead of solo. There will probably also be less self-deprecating jokes about my 5-year single cat lady status.

Edmonds Washington on a rare clear day

2. I Went Home to Seattle

At the very, very end of the month, I headed home to Seattle for the New Year. Since I wasn’t allowed to go home for Christmas, my family had a fake Christmas for me (on January 1st, I’m a cheater!) where we ate Thanksgiving food and exchanged gifts from me and one of my aunts who was sick and wasn’t able to make the real Christmas celebration.

I’ll spill more Seattle details in my next monthly recap (in two weeks) since most of the fun stuff happened in January. But I will say that it was so nice to go home! The air was fresh and crisp (and not polluted), and it was great to see my family and a few friends after such a long time apart.

As usual, I kept forgetting I could drink water from the sink and flush toilet paper. I also had trouble sleeping on my bed because it was too soft. #ChinaProblems.

Wandering Houhai Lake

3. My Sexy Man Came to Visit Beijing

Okay, I’ll stop.

But in all seriousness, after almost two months of not seeing each other, a quick visit in December was a great boost to my busy work life. We exchanged Christmas gifts, tried out my favorite restaurants, and had a great time despite the cold and pollution.

My favorite day was probably the one we spent exploring my neighborhood Beijing. After a morning brunch with all of my roommates at Cafe Zarah, I took him to Houhai lake. While unfortunately, it wasn’t frozen enough to ice skate on yet, we walked around the whole lake and even saw people swimming in the freezing water!

Then I took him to my favorite cat cafe for a quick coffee and a hutong Christmas market filled with vendors selling mulled wine, jewelry, locally made products and some pretty awesome homemade peppermint chapstick. Afterward, we ate dinner at my favorite Sichuan restaurant, Zhang Mama, and had alcoholic pie shakes (yes they are as good as they sound) for dessert at Rager Pie!

An EPIC seafood dinner!

4. Office Christmas Party

With admissions season being very intense, having a fun little Christmas party was exactly what I needed! We did an office Secret Santa where I was tasked with finding a gift for a young Chinese coworker. I know she has a penchant for good Baijiu (strong Chinese liquor), so of course, I gifted her a bottle!

She absolutely freaked out, trying to figure out who gave her the gift. My coworkers had a great time teasing her, telling her the head boss gave it to her. Eventually, she discovered it was me after a day of accusing all the coworkers.

In addition to cake and pizza for lunch, the head boss took all the college counselors out for a fantastic seafood dinner. We ordered a giant platter of delicious lobster, crabs, shrimp, crayfish, regular fish and more. We made a pretty good dent, but we definitely needed at least two more people to finish it off!

After an awkward and tense last few months at work, the Christmas party and seafood dinner smoothed things over a bit. We also got to celebrate getting a kid into Princeton! While he wasn’t one of my students, I did spend 5+ hours coaching him for his admissions interview, so it was great to get a shoutout from my manager when he got in. At least I know I’m kind of valued!

Me not crying in the office on Christmas

Challenges

1. Not Going Home For Christmas

Like I said last month, I wasn’t allowed to go home for Christmas due to the whims of my boss and manager and rules that didn’t make any sense. While I was perfectly fine working Christmas eve (seriously, it was a slow day), and spending the evening watching a movie while munching on a Turkey and mashed potato pie from Rager Pie (and a pecan pie for desert!), the pity I got from others was really annoying.

It felt like everyone was absolutely shocked I couldn’t go home, especially since I was one of the only ones. All of my roommates flew home, except one, and pretty much all of my foreign coworkers too.

Every student who came to the office was shocked to find me there. Every Chinese person I encountered that weekend asked me why I wasn’t going home. People assumed I at least should have some grand Christmas dinner at one of the foreign restaurants, or a potlatch with all my friends.

Well, you know what people? I had no friends to hang out with on Christmas and I was FINE WITH IT. I didn’t even mind looking at everyone’s Christmas pictures and snaps on social media. I just wanted everyone to stop pitying me and let me enjoy my Christmas pies and massage in peace.

and we celebrated with a lot of seafood

2. The End of Admissions Season

IT’S OVER.

US college admissions season is finally over. All of the millions of essays and stress are OVER. This should be in my “Highlights” section, but since admissions season lasted until January 1st (with a second deadline for some schools on January 15th), I don’t officially get to celebrate until my next monthly recap.

Last month was pretty stressful getting everything done, and I wanted to bang my head on my keyboard more than once. I had students changing their intended major half-way through a 200-word essay (SERIOUSLY??). I had kids giving me 800-word essays for a prompt that only allowed 450 words. I even had to edit a recommendation letter from a parent about her son (?!) which is NOT in my job description. She just needed help getting it down from over 1,000 words to 600. At least she loves her kid?

3. Absolutely Horrifying Pollution

What’s new? We had a 3-day red alert in Beijing, which meant that all the schools were closed… but I still had to go to work! The WHO recommends PM2.5 levels stay under 50, but for a Red Alert in Beijing, the pollution forecast needs to be 300+ for 4 consecutive days.

Guess how high the pollution was in Beijing? BETWEEN 600-800!!!!

At least it wasn’t as bad as surrounding Hebei province, that had some cities with pollution over 1,000! Let’s just say I lived in my pollution mask and had my air purifiers on constantly. I also developed excruciating headaches, but now I’ve discovered the headaches are actually from me needing new glasses (I think).

A giant roomie brunch!

My Most Popular Post

You all seemed to really love my post on eating like a local in Beijing’s hutongs. I absolutely love Chinese food, and the hutongs, so a hutong food tour was right up my alley. It was so fun to discover all of these incredible places to eat right near my apartment, and I loved being able to share all of them with you!

Best Instagram

Just when I was starting to run out of decent photos of myself, an angel in the form of my friend Sarah delivered a bunch of cute shots of me in Vietnam. This photo of me temple hopping in Hue Vietnam was the post popular!

I loved exploring all of the many temples in Hue Vietnam. I only had one day there which definitely wasn’t enough. I guess I’ll just have to go back!! Thanks to my friend @peachelette for taking this incredible photo!

A photo posted by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on Jan 7, 2017 at 8:52pm PST

Song of the Month

For those of you who watch my Snapchat, this song might sound a little familiar. I started most of my Seattle snap stories with this one and I’ve had a lot of people ask about it. Thank god for Spotify Discover!

What I’m Reading

This last month I read 1.5 books and a manuscript for a book my friend is writing! Here’s my take on the two books you can actually buy and read.

1. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

The Handmaid’s Tale is one of those “school books” I should’ve read growing up but never did. But when I discovered Hulu is making a tv version with Elisabeth Moss as the lead, I figured I should probably get around to reading the book.

The Handmaid’s tale is INCREDIBLE, and it’s by far the best book I read this year. A patriarchal totalitarian Christian dystopia, this book really made me understand what it must be like to live as a woman under the Taliban or ISIS. The story centers around Offred, a woman who grew up in modern New York and experienced the Gilead revolution.

Separated from her husband and daughter whilst trying to escape to Canada, Offred becomes a “handmaid”. Due to a nasty strain of syphilis, most of the population is infertile, so handmaids are given to the commanders to help them bear children. Not a concubine or even a sexual object, Offred’s sole purpose is to help repopulate the world.

Seriously, everyone should read this book and then watch the show when it comes out!

Who needs babies when there are cat cafes?

2. What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding- Kristin Newman

I’m not quite finished with this book yet, but I’m already obsessed! Written by a screenwriter for shows like How I Met Your Mother and The Neighbors, Newman chronicles her comedic and romantic travel adventures for the last decade and a half.

After spending all of her 20’s in serious relationships, Kristin takes her 30-something commitment phobia to a new level, having wild, sexy, and hilarious adventures abroad. I actually can’t put this book down!

Hello Houhai!

The Best Blog Posts

Here are my absolute favorite blog posts of the month!

Six Ways Living Abroad Made me a Worse Person– Matador Network

I really enjoyed this post by Isabelle Sudron on Matador because it’s so relatable! As an expat, sometimes it’s hard not to fall into the trap of not learning the language, only associating with other expats, basking in unknown privilege, and judging your friends back home. I consistently work not to fall into these traps, but sometimes it can be hard!

Asia is Not Your Dumping Ground– Adventurous Alexis

I see this less in China (Chinese people kind of treat their own country like a dumping ground), but I encounter this phenomenon a lot in Southeast Asia. Entitled backpackers and tourists arrive and drink themselves sick, refuse to respect the culture, experiment with illegal drugs, dress inappropriately, and trash pristine beaches.

Southeast Asia might be like a Disneyland for adults but it’s also home to many people with way less privilege than you. When you visit someone else’s’ house, you respect it.

Enjoying latte and a pasta at Cafe Zarah

How Moving to Mexico Helped My Family Cut Bills by 55%– Tim Leffel

Shocked? I’m not.

Every time I go home people still don’t understand why I’m living and working in China. They see the smog and the culture difference and assume I’m sacrificing a lot to live here. But I feel the same way when I see my friends cutting coupons back home.

People are shocked when I explain how I’ve saved almost $20,000 USD in 1.5 years without even really trying. I live in downtown Beijing in a pretty nice apartment (with 5 roommates… hey, rent is expensive!), I eat out, I get $5 coffees and drink craft beer or nice cocktails at hidden hutong bars. I travel to places like Korea, Vietnam, and the Philippines during my holiday breaks. I take taxis whenever I feel like it, and I even have a bi-weekly maid.

Sure I have to wear a mask a few weeks out of the year, but I have a pretty great life in Beijing!

Pin me!

What’s Happening in January 2017?

Well, January is already half over, but it’s going to be a great month! I got to spend the first half of it home in Seattle, and now I’m back in Beijing for just a week and a half. Chinese New Year is early this year, so at the end of the month, I’ll be heading to Sumatra Indonesia! This will be my first time in Indonesia and I’m so excited!

While most people go to Bali, I just didn’t quite feel like going to a touristy island. I don’t know why, but I just never found Bali super appealing. I would go live there for a few months as a digital nomad, but I wanted to go somewhere a bit off the beaten path this time around.

I went to Thailand but skipped Phuket and Koh Phi Phi. I went to Cambodia and spent only 2 hours in Sihanoukville oh the way to Koh Rong. I visited the Philippines and skipped Boracay in favor of Siargao and Siquijor… I guess you can say it’s a pattern.

Happy New Year Everyone! How was your December?

This Beijing Life: Month 16 I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time.

#Beijing #Christmas #expat life #This Beijing Life

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harmonicegg-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Gail’s journey from the Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Many have asked what the light box / Harmonic Egg has done for me and how I came to open my own center.

#harmonicegg #lightbox #story

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missknavery-blog · 8 years ago

Text

A Wider Path

I just quit my job. I have nothing lined up. Yes, I’m okay. No, I don’t know what I’ll do next. I just needed to get out. I’m sure a few of my coworkers thought I was planning on killing myself. My lack of ability to explain what was going on in my head made them worry. But I know me, and I know what I need. And I needed to get out. I worked retail for 10 years, from 18 to 28. I just turned 29 five days ago and quitting my job was my birthday gift to myself. I celebrated my birthday and New Year’s Eve as a free woman, no pressure of going back to work looming on the horizon. It’s the first time I’d had both New Year’s Eve AND my birthday off in a long time, since they’re on consecutive days, in the holiday season, and most employers aren’t happy with me taking that time of year off. The job that I just left was a corporation, I worked there for four and a half years, I started out believing that it was a good place to work and had employee’s interests in mind, but I watched as, year after year, the wrong decisions were made. All I see now is a company desperately trying to make money by spending money to grasp at other money. Building on growth and growing by building. Not building on an actual stable foundation, or rather, not building within the stable confines of that foundation, instead, trying to build upwards and outwards rather than outwards first, like an upside-down pyramid. Does that make sense? This is a company that preaches sustainability in all things.

Our team lost 5 employees in July - August, of the then 15 or 16 person team, a team which had started 20 strong... we failed to hire anyone for several months. Meanwhile, we all worked overtime, extra days, whatever it took to keep things running. Our boss was finally let go/fired/who knows, much to all of our relief. She’d been a very lazy boss and was ultimately dragging us down. On top of our department taking on more responsibility, we’d lost one of our specialists who was in charge of buying at least half if not 75% of our product and no one on the team had the experience/motivation to replace her. The whole thing was a mess. I found myself working alone, much like most of my coworkers, due to frequent call-outs, and we all found ourselves, more often than not, doing the work of 2 or more people each. We got paid hourly. It occurred to me that there was little incentive to hire new people when you could easily squeeze just as much work out of the few people you had left and pay them the same rate. Genius. We didn’t hire up until right before the holidays, without enough time to train the newcomers. I was one of the trainers, as well as my coworker, who like me was scheduled to spend 80% of her time upstairs, unable to be downstairs unless it was “slow”, which was a rarity at our store. So the newbies got trained mostly by slightly less newbies, who’d been mostly trained by whoever could train them.

December 1st, I started to lose my sanity. The schedule showed who was working, when, and where. For the week leading up to Christmas, and the couple days to follow, it showed that 3 of us were scheduled various days upstairs to close by ourselves. This was unheard of. Local events meant guaranteed business on top of the already busy holiday vacation crowd. Surely they didn’t think that this was acceptable? Surely someone else would be there to help... But it was clear, each time I called for help, that they had no intention of focusing their attention upstairs. Why would they, when they could make the same amount of money off of one person upstairs while having the maximum number of employees maintaining downstairs? Each time I called for backup, my backup would eventually, during a lull in the crowd, creep back downstairs, saying “we’re really behind”. Nine people on shift downstairs, both of our managers and both specialists, plus five other people, and yet you still can’t keep things running? I became a worse version of myself. I’d dropped hobbies that would’ve kept me active and happy: walking, drawing, writing... None of them seemed possible with my brain the way it was. I became more angry, bitter, hostile at times, resentful... My depression was around anytime I was too tired to fight it off, and anxiety would grip me in odd moments when there was seemingly nothing to be anxious about. Excessive alcohol and coffee didn’t help that.

The stress of the job was compounded time and time again by a variety of factors. I wish I was the type of person who didn’t care about how others feel, because knowing my coworkers were struggling stressed me out. Knowing customers weren’t being served to the best of my ability stressed me out. Knowing that my very few personal relationships were being neglected because by the time I was done with work I was too tired for them stressed me out.

I’m not good at stress. I think it’s had a very negative effect on my health over the years. I’ll post about that some other time, but for now... Let’s just say I did what I felt was best for me. My last day of work was the 28th. I got out of work at 6:30, worked my full shift, then felt really guilty because two of my coworkers had called out and I wasn’t willing to stay and help those who remained. After work, I drank. I hesitate to call myself an alcoholic, but truly I drank almost every day for the last six months of my employment. Even on my days off (which were almost NEVER consecutive) I would feel stressed about going back to work, and drink an entire bottle of wine to feel more at ease. I came home from work to a house full of roommates and guests, sat on the couch, poured myself a glass of wine, and fell asleep before I could take more than a sip. It couldn’t have been past 11 pm at that point. I awoke at 4 am, on the couch, with a blanket draped over me, and one of our former roommates on an adjacent couch (he’d been visiting for the week). I stumbled to my room, removed my clothes and makeup, and slept. I awoke at noon after at least 12 hours of sleep, refreshed, and ready to take on the day. It was the 29th, the day before my birthday, and I wanted a haircut and a new pair of heels. It’d been over a year since I’d had either. I made a call to two different salons (I hate phone calls) and got an appointment for 3:30. After my hair, I called my great-aunt (really, I hate phone calls) to thank her for her Christmas gift (a crisp $100 bill, because she’s classy like that), and told her that I’d used it to get a lovely haircut. She was pleased, and thanked me for my gift (the softest, warmest, biggest pale pink knit scarf ever created). We talked for about 15 minutes as I walked toward the mall. It was a big deal because I normally take a very long time to psych myself up to make a call, but I’d made 3 today with almost no hesitation.

I partied on my birthday, bowling and arcade games all night. I partied on New Year’s Eve, a Star Wars themed event in my own house, put on by my roommates and I. New Year’s Day came and I was more hungover than I’d been in ages. Beer, wine, liquor, and not enough water the night before meant I was feeling pretty gross. But by 3:30 PM I’d had a lot of water and finally got around to going for a walk. I’d forgotten how picturesque it is around my house, the river is finally flowing swiftly again and winter’s cold touch has brought an eerie beauty to the landscape. I walked along the trail for a while, enjoying the scenery, meditating, examining myself, and then a cyclist passed me by. But he wasn’t on the path, he was up on the thick wall that separates the path from the river. I thought that looked neat, so I walked along it for a while, concentrating on my balance, eyes firmly planted several few paces ahead. Then I realized, sure it looks nice from the outside observer, to be walking up here, balancing and making some effort while trying to make it look easy... but I had been so absorbed in what I was doing that I almost didn’t see that there were now several beautiful egrets in the river. I had stopped looking at and enjoying the beauty around me because I was worried about the difficult path I’d chosen to walk on. I hopped down from the wall. I think this year is going to be different.

#newyear #fitness #self care #long read #stress #mental health #wellness

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harmonicegg-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Gail’s journey from the Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Light Box to Harmonic Egg

Many have asked what the light box / Harmonic Egg has done for me and how I came to open my own center.

#harmonicegg #lightbox #story

0 notes