#military madness

[msx-pocky]

New review for Nectaris' obscure Windows 95 port on Radpage:

[warriorbrother]

[intern-seraph]

if your activism can be significantly disrupted by a few hours of award show, you're just a bad activist

[ravings-of-a-mad-scientist]

Psychologist: How come evil scientists in movies are always biologists, physicists, chemists, and engineers?

Military Scientist: Yeah! Where’s all the evil mad military scientists!? Do you have any idea how many people I’ve killed using science? How many people that other people have killed thanks to my military theories and formulas?

Astronomer: Uh… yeah. Well, a mad astronomer could make first contact with aliens and convince them to take over the world? That would be a pretty cool villain idea. Of course it is pretty unlikely we'll ever get to meet aliens but y'know...

Meteorologist: Or a mad meteorologist could… like… predict the weather incorrectly. And minorly inconvenience a bunch of people!

Psychologist: Oh, so like you!

Meteorologist: shut up

Geologist: An evil geologist could discover some evil rocks! And add them to his private rock collection so no one else gets to see them! That's just so EVIL!

Anthropologist: Oh, or a mad anthropologist could make real life have regionally and historically inaccurate language, clothing, and architecture, just like in a movie! It’d be completely immersion breaking!

Ornithologist: *gasps* THEY COULD RELEASE LOONS EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD AND ANNOY PEOPLE WITH REGIONALLY INACCURATE BIRD CALLS!

Psychologist: You know what? I was actually an evil mad psychologist this whole time and was trying to manipulate you guys into turning evil, but you all just kinda suck. I don't know if I even want you on my side anymore. 

Military Scientist: *whispers into radio* She said I suck, start the bombardment

[royaltea000]

He’s like the worlds shittiest Madonna to me

[thatsrightice]

UMMMM

WHAT? IS??? THIS??????

THIS TIK TOK WITH A BEAUTIFUL EDIT JUST DROPS A BOMB SAYING THERE’S A BIRTH CERTIFICATE ON TWITTER AND I FIND THIS????? WITH NO EXPLANATION????

SERESHAWS YOU CANT JUST DO THAT TO ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

HIS MIDDLE NAME IS JACOB?

HE WAS BORN IN HONOLULU??

I AM UNWELL

[obsessive-valentine]

How would your oc’s react to a sick reader?

In sickness and in health

General hcs for some of the yanderes, where darling isn’t seriously sick just a fever or bug. Would love to expand on them if anyone’s interested in a certain scenario.

Barbarian - You woke up feeling awful and weirdly being carried by your ‘husband’ through the camp, it’s still early and very cold but he’s wrapped you up in a blanket. After he woke up and noticed you broke out in a sweat and unusually hot to the touch, he carries you to the camps medic before you have the chance to wake up and understand what’s going on. They prescribe somethings and foods that might move the sickness on quicker and he takes you back to the tent. He still has work to do around camp so he tucks you under the furs tight and stays with you as long as he can ;he works extra hard so he can come back sooner and keep a watch over you while you rest. If it were to get worse he’s stealing medicine from a village or stealing a doctor; holding him captive until your well and letting him go with his life if he succeeds.

Ice Hockey player - He was waiting outside to pick you up and drive you to school, but after his texts go unanswered or opened he knocks on your door. Your parent explains that you’re sick and will be staying home today, so he has to go to school without you and almost worries himself sick too -checking his phone constantly for any messages and counting down the time he has till he can leave and see you. Totally ditches hockey practice if he has one that day and goes straight for your house after picking up your favourite snacks of course. Just hangs around, lingers and worries over you till as late as he can and will sleep on the floor next to you if your parents let him stay the night.

Changeling husband - Stresses the fuck out of this ‘man’. He’s never had to deal with something like this, he can’t get sick in that way and wasn’t interacted in learning about humans so deeply until you came along. So when he woke up to you coughing he falters for a moment, unsure what to do he just rubs your back until the fit is over. He tries to question you, ‘what can he do?’ ‘Why?’ ‘Are you okay?’ But you shrug him off saying is just a common cold, a bit confused whys he’s confused and worried about a seasonal sickness. When you get back to sleep he slips out of bed to sit in the living room with a computer and research remedies and comforts. Puts them all to use in the morning. He’s a bit strict -making sure you don’t make any unnecessary moves but it’s out of concern and love. This also means he’s doing everything for you, even cooking, which he isn’t good at but he’s trying ❤️

Ex-Military-Man - You gotten sick the day before and stayed over at his place so he could take care of you, he insisted because he ‘wouldn’t sleep well knowing how hopeless you are at taking care of yourself’. You wake up to him talking quietly on his phone, when the call ends he explains he’s called out sick of work for you, not giving you a say. He also calls out of any odd job he had booked -and you both spend a peaceful day mostly in bed but then you move to the sofa while he cooks whatever you wish. One of the less worried ones, he just wants to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re not pushing yourself.

Platonic Mad-Scientist - You were meant to be asleep but he could hear from his office that you were still awake, because you were coughing, he thought maybe it was a tickle in your throat so he left you alone but when it got worse he rushed to your room. “What’s going on, you were meant to be asleep a hour ago?” He kept his voice quiet and switched on the nightlight. You explained you couldn’t sleep and didn’t feel well. And after failing to get you to sleep himself by giving you cough medicine, reading you a book, turning on one of the contraptions that he’d made that never failed to get you to sleep before. He gives in and wraps you up in a blanket and takes you downstairs, letting you stay up past your bedtime and watch tv with him for as long as it takes till you fall asleep. He made you, literally, so he knows how to get you feeling better as fast and efficiently as possible, but for now you need to rest.

Farmers darling sick from heat-stroke

Classic Yanderes Darling sick

[spitblaze]

"This historical figure who was born as a woman and lived the rest of her life as a man isnt transgender and shes not a man she was an oppressed woman who pretended to be a man in order to pursue her dreams under intense patriarchy" listen i understand what the line of logic here is and i know that applying modern labels to figures who lived and died before these words and concepts were invented or popularized is a dangerous game but if this dude not only lived his life as a man but insisted that he be referred to as a man and went off on people who misgendered him and had an entire love life where all of his lovers would also refer to him as a man and was adamant that his body not be examined postmortem as so not to be retroactively defined by his genitals and wished to still be recognized as a man after his death i feel like at the very least you could respect his wishes to be referred to and seen as a man and leave the 'born female' thing to be an interesting tidbit at most instead of the fact about him you parade around

[akai-akai]

Imagine going to the carnival with Simon.

Gender-neutral reader.

Let's say he's on leave and there's a traveling carnival heading through town so of course you drag Simon along with you, naturally. Coerce him into buying you both corndogs and lemon shake-ups and funnel cake and play all the carnival games, and he definitely gets frustrated when he can't land those god damned rings on the bottles.

But then you spot it a few pop-up stands away. A massive stuffed animal that you absolutely need to take home. And just your luck, it's one of those arcade-like shooter games, so you're turning to him with the biggest puppy eyes you can manage and asking him so sweetly to win it for you.

And ohohoooo boy, as soon as you point it out to Simon, he's on a fucking mission. Slaps the money down in front of the vendor, gets in position, and he looks so bloody attractive when he's so focused and effortlessly hitting target after target with the cheaply-made, unreliable toy rifle. He even adjusts for the off-center scope while you watch excitedly behind him.

The vendor has to stop him short before he wins the entire fucking wall of stuffed animals and pool floaties in one round, and then they get the comically large stuffed animal off the rack for you and Simon takes it and turns to you with a smug look, his dark and brooding demeanor contrasting with the cartoonish and comically large prize in his arms.

You take it from him happily as you both make your way back to his car, the silly thing taking up the entirety of the back seat.

"Hope that thing doesn't replace me in bed tonight," he grumbles, amused.

"I'd never," you say to him. (It ends up in bed with you anyway, but he's possessive enough that he'll scrap with the bloody thing to spoon with you. You'll wake up in the morning with the stuffed animal mysteriously having ended up on the other side of the room.)

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inspired by my ex-military uncle scaring that poor carnival game vendor in a shooting game at our local carnival last week winning a giant pink orca for a little girl (the same uncle who blew a giant hole in the ground with a firework on the 4th of July)

the last part's inspired by that "me and my girlfriend and her life-sized body pillow" meme that was circulating fandoms a while back

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

why the fuck do you think that adult military men will be gay💀this is disgusting and disgusting, what kind of problems must there be in your personal life for people to like this, these dudes literally kill people and for some reason they are made gay💀💀💀

Homophobes when gay people exist even when they are in the military 🤯

[mwagneto]

we knew this but Kate confirming that even UNIT recognises a lot of events as supernatural rather than alien AND that it's a whole new thing they aren't very equipped for yet is really cool

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Joel meeting Ellie: *slams her into a wall & threatens to shoot her*

Joel five minutes later: *kills a man w/ his bare hands for threatening to shoot her*

[sher-ee]

[the-furthest-city-light]

My unhinged thoughts on Luffy and Garp's relationship post-Marineford

Y'all have a very lovely comment on one of my fics to blame for this rant on Luffy and Garp's relationship and where they stand after Marineford:

Luffy and Garp as they relate to each other is so interesting because I think despite his absences, Luffy acquired a lot of his ideas about what family is and isn't from Garp. And, maybe, learned to separate what a person is to him from who that person is, too. In a way I think that's why he imprinted so hard on Shanks--he's the first person Luffy met whose role in his life matches who he is as a person and it's why he builds himself a family by acquiring people whose goals match his own so that there IS no conflict. Fast forward to Luffy as a teenager, we see that when Luffy is confronted by a person who has a conflict with his own ideals and goals, it doesn't present an inherent issue for him--that's the primary way he relates to people anyway (for ex: Coby).

Garp is also the one who modeled for Luffy that presence/time spent doesn't correllate to the strength of a relationship, that just because Garp wasn't there all the time doesn't mean they don't have a bond. And yes this gave Luffy all the abandonment issues but it's clear that Luffy has accepted it by the time canon comes around. At some point he clearly decided to view it as "Gramps gave me what he needed and made sure I had a family to grow up with and that's plenty, of course he loves us," and not "Gramps abandoned me and never loved me."

On top of all of that, whatever else Garp did or did not think about him, Ace, and Sabo, and their dreams, Luffy grew up knowing that Garp valued them and their lives above the letter of the law and his job. Luffy never cared who Ace's dad was, but he grew up knowing that Garp also knew and always thought he deserved to have a chance to live, and always loved Ace even if he never approved of the kids' desire to be a pirate. He knows that Garp values family over the law.

And then there's Garp. Garp who Sengoku describes as "a family man more than a marine." Garp who refused (multiple!) promotions to the Admirality because he didn't want to serve the Celestial Dragons, Garp who Roger trusted with his very own kid. His parenting techniques might be...questionable (read: If this was a real man he would have CPS called on him so fast but we're going with the intended reading of him from the manga) but it's clear he loves the kids. We also know the man has a flexible view of the law, he's a Marine because he believes it's where he can do the most good/help the most people. He views the rules as things he can bend if not break (a quality that clearly gets stronger as the generations pass lmao). He doesn't seem to respect authority, but he DOES seem to respect the need for the perception of it, or at least the role the Marines need to play in the eyes of the public. He believes people need heroes to believe in, and he believes the Marines should fill that role, and that's what he spent his life trying to embody.

And then Marineford.

Garp is caught between these two things: his family, and the institution he devoted his life to. And it sucks, obviously. He goes to visit Ace in Impel Down and he tells him a few things, but Garp says 1) No one can stop the war (not even him), 2) he's proud of Luffy for everything he did at Enies Lobby and Sabaody, (which also tells Ace that he's not condemned in his eyes for being a pirate--the condemnation of his life is coming from the institution Garp works for, not from Garp as a judgement of the man he became).

Ace responds by saying Whitebeard is the only father he has (ouch--Garp is the only father figure Ace grew up with), which is the last exchange we have until this:

Garp believes in the need for the execution and the war in general--the problem for him is that this is his family. This is the baby he took responsibility for, a kid he's loved for years. So Garp doesn't do anything in the war, doesn't object or condem. All he does is take a seat next to Ace, keeps him company. And to be fair to Garp? It doesn't seem like Ace expects anything more. And it seems like he appreciates it.

So he's got one kid on the execution stand, and he's resolved to let him die for the sake of what he thinks is the greater good. And his other kid, the one chasing the same fate that's getting Ace killed now, is trying to save his life. And he just...watches it unfold, because he's trapped by his own convictions--another thing he passed down to both of the boys, so how can he betray what he told them and not hold steady to his own beliefs?

I think for Luffy, he probably didn't have much time to process Garp's presence at Marineford or his role in Ace's execution at the time. In fact the only time they really interract directly is this moment from a chapter literally titled "The Execution Platform":

The title obviously refers to the literal execution platform Ace is on that Luffy has been trying to reach the entire arc but metaphorically? It's also about this. Luffy, being confronted with a grandfather who is for some reason putting his job over his brother's life, and Garp, making a last ditch effort to stand by his own conviction.

There's no way Luffy can understand this decision in the moment--he already made the same one on Amazon Lily, where he was faced with the option to either go and meet his crew on Sabaody (keep following his dream) or go after Ace. He chose Ace, because Luffy always chooses people over his own goals. I think he would understand Garp more if he had been present for Garp and Ace's conversations on the scaffold, but he wasn't.

There's an argument to be made here that Garp is giving Luffy the opportunity to save his brother by stepping in himself and letting Luffy punch him. It would be more plausible except for the fact that Garp calls Luffy "Straw Hat" here instead of "Luffy." He drops the familiarity, and he sets himself in Luffy's way, even when Luffy begs him. I don't think Garp knew he was going to let Luffy knock him away until the very last second. Not until Luffy committed to punching him.

He gives Luffy this one last piece of advice, this one last chance to be his grandfather, where he says "this is the path you have chosen, and it will be difficult, but you're on it now and you have to commit.":

And he remembers Ace saying he wants to live, and lets Luffy hit him to get to his brother.

This is the last we see of their relationship. Luffy doesn't mention him again except to tell Chin Jao off in Dressrosa. Presumably he processed how his relationship with his grandfather has changed in the aftermath, but what he thinks about it? Mostly a mystery. All the things he got from Garp are still true, and I think he still probably manages to compartmentalize most of it as a person vs. dreams/conviction thing. Luffy wouldn't judge Garp for his decisions, and he wouldn't hold resentments either. Whatever he feels or doesn't feel toward Garp, it's definitely overshadowed by Ace's loss.

For Garp's part, the man retired immediately after the war. Luffy literally says "If I don't do everything I can to save Ace, I wouldn't be able to live with myself" a few chapters before the execution stand, and Garp didn't live with himself, at least not without changing his circumstances. He gave up his commission to run escorts for royalty and train people. We do know he's still proud of Luffy, like he told Ace in Impel Down, and he laughs when Luffy's New World exploits are brought up. Garp's the one with regrets, not Luffy, and I think if they ever speak again (who knows, with Garp being...y'know), it'll be about those regrets.

What else do you talk about with estranged family?

[nonogalego]

We are soldiers of an army of two Generals