#military dudes stopped me to recruit me (not as bad as you think. im in a military building with a quasi military group)

[count-woe-laf]

sometimes I'm like, I'm a coward and really need to stick up for myself, and sometimes I'm like... maybe I should shut up

[dianapocalypse]

so I’m having a very interesting (for me) mass effect legendary edition playthru and i wanna talk about it even tho no one but me will be interested so UNDER THE CUT WE GO!

this probably isn’t interesting to anyone but me but I wanted to write it down for posterity lol

so this time around, I spent a LONG TIME staring at the character creator, not even making anything. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to make my ‘main’ Shepard, play Jane just for the new model in ME1, or make a new Shep entirely. and if I did the last one, did I want to play differently this time??

i ended up making a shepard that was PRETTY similar to my main one. they’re both vanguards (didn’t want to learn a new kit bc my ability to hold a controller is pretty limited these days), both earthborn, same haircut but different overall appearances. this time I went war hero instead of sole survivor, since I’ve played those sidequests so many times at this point. I hit start and named her Kieran, not really knowing what I was going for with this shep and expecting I’d mostly make the same choices, romance garrus, etc

so the first few hours of the game I played p much like I always do. more paragon options than usual, but I attribute that more to me changing than character choices. I also started picking the middle options I always ignore just to see what they are. grabbed Liara, did bring down the sky, nothing new or unusual until I start talking to garrus.

is it just me, or does garrus.... kinda hit different in 2021? don’t get me wrong, still one of my favorite fictonal characters of all time, but also... garrus is a loose canon police officer who thinks regulations that, presumably, are in place to protect peoples’ rights, should be ignored for what he deems is the greater good. while we as players know garrus’s morals are in the right place, uh... if I met someone like that in real life I’d expect them to be a complete jackass. im also american so that contributes to my ill feelings towards police officers, and c-sec in the games is generally portrayed as being a much less awful organization than the american police state, but I’ve definitely gone from always supporting Garrus when he thinks a fucker needs to die to being like... garrus rules are there for a reason, people have RIGHTS

and then like. kieran shepard is earthborn, she was in gangs. she... probably doesn’t like cops either? my last shep was, too, but tbh I didn’t think about it all that much. for the first time I’m playing a shepard that does not trust garrus and that’s WILD.

so then I’m doing sidequests on the citadel, and earthborns get a gang member from their past who tries to blackmail shep into busting one of their members out of prison. for the first time ever, I actually didn’t have the paragon or renegade points necessary to resolve the situation in a ‘good’ way for me. I got to the end of it, and my only options were to bribe him to leave me alone, or shoot him.

i’ll say in my defense, I thought shoot him would be more ‘shoot him in the leg to show him i meant business’, but shep straight up killed him, and I was like, woah. I’m gonna have to figure out how to make THAT work with this character arc!

and the turian cop who he wants you to talk to, he’s right there, and says “wow, I guess maybe the first human spectre will get things done!’ or something, indicating like. that was the Right Thing To Do by his standards. just kill a dude in public for threatening blackmail.

so in role playing games, i try to justify decisions my characters make, even if it’s a decision that I didn’t make on purpose--it’s more fun for me to try to gather these disparate character choices and cohere them into a character than to try to get it ‘right’ for the character i’m playing, if that makes sense. so here, even tho I was definitely not intending to kill that dude, I wanted to find a way to make it work for Kieran Shepard. and it’s kinda ended up shaping the whole way I’m playing her, and it’s cool and interesting bc this is a shepard unlike any I’ve played before! i’m always so focused on min/maxing my character, especially their paragon/renegade points to get the ‘best’ outcomes, that ive never been faced with something like that.

so I think this is where I’ve landed:

Kieran Shepard grows up on the streets, she does not trust authority. all she has is her crew, and herself, more importantly. she does some bad shit, she gets into trouble, she’s strong-headed and stubborn. later in life, she gets recruited to the alliance military. frankly, I think she keeps a lot of the same attitude and distrust of authority, but this is a paycheck, and I think since the Tenth Street Reds are getting really human supremacist and xenophobic, she gets out and needs to go Somewhere that her past won’t follow her--space. off earth.

mostly she’s a shithead at first. gets into trouble with the brass all the time. but she’s got a really good head for tactics. she knows how to think like a merc gang, she thinks of strategies in simulations that higher ups wouldn’t ever consider. think like. star trek 2009 captain kirk basically lmao.

and then anderson gets a hold of her. for the first time in her life, she has like, a Parental Figure, someone who knows she can do better and expects her to. and she FLOURISHES. suddenly she’s got motivation, she’s straightening up. she’s positioned on elysium and the skyllian blitz starts, and one thing she knows how to do, something she’s always been good at, it surviving, and rallying people around her to fight, not roll over and die. her skills from her life as a gangster marry with her skills as a soldier and she rallies the colonists to beat back the invasion. with her STREET SMARTS!

now she’s a war hero, and she’s starting to feel the impostor syndrome set in. she gets a medal, she gets accolades, promotions--she’s just a scrappy former criminal and she doesn’t deserve this. she doesn’t deserve any of it, or anderson’s regard. she starts spending her time trying to be The Perfect Soldier to make up for her past. for the first time, it’s a point of embarrassment to her, not a point of pride. it’s public record, sure, but she needs her entire existence to refute it. she needs to be Commander Shepard now, she needs to be The First Human Spectre, she needs to be PERFECT.

and then Finch shows up, and he’s threatening her, he wants to drag her back into the Life and he’ll blackmail her if she doesn’t comply. she knows if she bribes him he’ll be back in a month for more, he’ll never stop. so she panics. she shoots this guy, kills him in cold blood, in public. old habits die hard. and the cop practically CONGRATULATES her for it.

kieran, now, is in full blown panic mode about Who She Is. she is very much not a fan of the ‘law and order’ of C-Sec, but she’s also not a fan of the spectres and how they operate, but now she’s becoming the thing she as a teen would have hated the most. and she’s being congratulated for it. can she be trusted with this kind of responsibility?? can anyone???

anyway that’s the last thing I did but I think... honestly? the only character that could help her sort out these feelings? is kaidan alenko.

so. i think this is it. this is the playthru i finally romance kaidan.

[dubious-signs]

SS Log: Visiting the ReVerse 2

[Part 1] / [Part 3] / [Part 4]

[Since this part has more characters than the last one, I’ll add in who’s who as they come up, along with the little cast list.]

ProgramThis - Kay (human OC written by @primuswhyme) dubiousSigns - Cass (it me) Recklessinred - Sideswipe (@wily-red-and-galeforce-gold)  SoothsayerTemp - Temperance (@divinethemeaning) saveAcowboy - Traction (@varmegonomore) SnipeHunt - Bluestreak (@speakeasysniper) HereComesTheBOOM - Thundercracker (@primuswhyme) wanderlvst - Dennis (@anotherhumanpet) BlendingIn - Lenny (Sanctuary City’s resident dire wraith, written by @varmegonomore)

[Context: It’s the day of the fair, but no one hears from Cass or Kay for a while...]

[PRIVATE CHANNEL]

ProgramThis (Kay):

I'M UP

dubiousSigns (Cass):

Let's get goin' then 😁

///// ///// ///// ///// /////

[PRIVATE CHANNEL]

dubiousSigns:

There's so much good street food to choose from here, I want it all but I can't eat that much!

Recklessinred (Sideswipe/wily-red-and-galeforce-gold): 

get a little bit of everything and hoard some to eat at home =U

are there baked things? Baked things keep, right?

Later that night… 

[PUBLIC CHANNEL]

SoothsayerTemp (Temperance/divinethemeaning): 

Has anyone here been in recent contact with the user dubiousSigns?

saveAcowboy (Traction/varmegonomore): 

no, why?

is something wrong?

SoothsayerTemp: 

I'm not sure. She told us she was visiting another universe today and has been sending pictures, but then it just... stopped rather abruptly.

It's possible her phone died.

I know that afterwards she was going to "Red's" universe to see some birds?

SnipeHunt (speakeasysniper): 

To see our birds? But who was bringing her? Sideswipe said he was getting deployed and I didn't hear anything about any arrangements for travel

SoothsayerTemp: 

I don't have any information beyond that. Just that she and her friend were invited by Sideswipe to see the birds. You haven't seen her there at all?

SnipeHunt: 

I haven't, no. I'll check with Thundercracker, he usually knows what Sideswipe's plans are…

SoothsayerTemp: 

Thank you.

HereComesTheBOOM (primuswhyme): 

Ah, I'd assumed he'd told you after he got the reluctant go ahead from Red Alert. Neither Program or Signs have shown up yet.

Did Signs have a check in time?

SoothsayerTemp: 

I don't know, I think they were playing it by ear?

HereComesTheBOOM: 

@SirDudewave any information on your end?

SnipeHunt: 

No visitors have checked in and Red hasn't seen any humans on the cameras

Recklessinred: 

they were supposed to come over today before I get deployed tomorrow =(

I tried calling her and program.

wait you can't reach them either?

HereComesTheBOOM: 

I don't have their numbers, but Soundwave isn't answering tags. 

saveAcowboy: 

that never bodes well. 

One hour later… 

[PUBLIC CHANNEL]

HereComesTheBOOM: 

Have you heard anything @SoothsayerTemp? It's nearing 8pm local time and we still have no word if they're coming.

SoothsayerTemp: 

No I haven't heard from either of them.

... Do you think something could have gone wrong with the bridge?

saveAcowboy: 

do you know where their last location was?

SnipeHunt: 

it's possible. Our space bridge is often malfunctioning since we only really have the one…

How do we get in contact with her then?? Does anyone know any of the other people from her dimension?

wanderlvst (anotherhumanpet): 

What's going on

HereComesTheBOOM:  

Program and Signs haven't contacted SoothsayerTemp or checked in here like planned.

SnipeHunt: dubiousSigns didn't show up at their planned meeting with Sideswipe and no one can contact them

Does anyone have, like, their cell phone number??

HereComesTheBOOM: 

How long ago was Signs last message @SoothsayerTemp

wanderlvst: 

I have her number

I can try calling her?

Let me call her

SnipeHunt: 

Oh would you?? that would be so great I'm starting to really really worry

SoothsayerTemp: 

We've tried texting and calling but haven't heard from her in... over three hours now.

SnipeHunt: 

Maybe she's sleeping?? I've heard humans can sleep for eight to ten hours at a time

wanderlvst: 

She's not answering me either. It went to voicemail

Where did she go

Was she with anyone

SnipeHunt: 

She went with Program. Uhhh the one from the reverse verse

She was supposed to come here to see Sideswipe and the birds

HereComesTheBOOM: 

They were supposed to be at a street fair in Programs world. I was under the impression they would be with one of the reverse mecha

wanderlvst: 

The one where Program got kidnapped for wearing a hat

HereComesTheBOOM: 

But I can't get ahold of Soundwave or Dodger

wanderlvst:

Guys

SnipeHunt: 

So they went to the reverse verse and now we can't get ahold of anyone there??

I don't like how this is adding up…

wanderlvst: 

That's

Yeah no something's wrong

And Cass should have answered me

I mean we're not great friends but she probably would have thought it was some kinda emergency or something if I did cause of what we've talked about so

She's not answering

Every weird chat member is offline

SnipeHunt: 

Sideswipe's already being deployed but we're free for the moment... TC should we go?

wanderlvst: 

This is bad guys

Something happened

BlendingIn (Lenny the dire wraith): 

are they hurt? Do we need to go find them?

HereComesTheBOOM: 

Red Alert won't give me clearance, but Sideswipe hasn't deployed yet. Grab him.

SnipeHunt: 

No idea, Blending, no one can contact them. But if what's happened is what we think has happened then there's a good possibility that what happened involved them being hurt or at least incapacitated but hopefully that's not actually what happened

wanderlvst: 

I'm going to keep calling

SnipeHunt: 

I'll grab Sides. We'll make a run tonight. Hopefully we'll be back before the hurricane makes landfall. Man I hope the hurricane isn't hitting in that dimension too

wanderlvst: 

Maybe she'll answer at some point

BlendingIn: 

would you like someone other dimensional to help?

SnipeHunt: 

Are you an active soldier?

BlendingIn:

im an officer.

and recruited for military operations

SnipeHunt: 

I can't personally say yes because I don't really have the authority to make that call but you probably outrank me so do what you want?

But me asking you to come makes me responsible for your safety and this is already really stressful

BlendingIn: 

you would not be, i am likely in no less danger there than I am here

SnipeHunt: 

Buddy I dunno these reverse bots sound Messed Up

BlendingIn: 

the entire universe is hunting me and my kind on a daily basis.

but if it concerns you I will stay on standby 

SnipeHunt: 

Like I said, you probably outrank me. I'm just a gunner

Gonna get clearance from Prowl and get some supplies. He's usually pretty sympathetic to these kinds of things…

SnipeHunt has logged off

BlendingIn: 

I will be ready should they want my assistance

wanderlvst: 

…

I can't get to her voicemail anymore

Now it says the number is not available

Guys something's wrong

SnipeHunt has logged in

SnipeHunt: Alright Prowl says we're clear. I've got a recall thingiemadoober in case things get hairy and we need a quick exit.

And TC if you're so worried about not having clearance maybe it's a good time to consider actually defecting instead of just sitting around mooching off our supplies

wanderlvst: 

Dude that isn't helping

SnipeHunt: 

Ironic, since neither is he.

wanderlvst: 

Dude fighting about dumb shit isn't going to get Cass rescued any faster

She could be hurt or tortured right now

saveAcowboy: 

there is a better chance they want her as a hostage

which means they'll likely not harm her

wanderlvst: 

But for how long