#miku is in a closet somewhere...............

[whoslaurapalmer]

hello darkness my old friend

I've come to honk with you again

[mistyjessart]

doodled filipina miku in a filipiniana before class the other day

[kaogens]

what about…. trans masc miku in a miku binder?

(/j /j /j that’s so cursed lmaooo)

if i had 10 dollars for every miku binder mention i saw on my post i think i would be rich by now

[natinkart]

I fell I need to share my descent into madness with y'all.

ok so, last year I did a miku cosplay all by hand, every single clothing by hand (shout out to my mother for that she's awesome) and she has these 2 tie holders. so I bought 2 tie holders and a bunch of charms with stars and musical notes and did two really cute mini necklaces to tie to the tie holders.

now, I had a big exam at the beginning of summer so I dressed up and I thought A TIE HOLDER WOULD BE SO CUTE so I searched for those... and I couldn't find them. I went, oh well I'll go without.

when I got back home I searched in my closet and cosplay box and found nothin, so they were somewhere in my room...

today, after 3 month of not finding anything searching normally I went fuck it and literally emptied ALL my desk drawers and my 1 meter tall wall cabinet trying to find those fuckers and guess what? NOTHING. I FOUND NOTHING.

I DEEP CLEANED ALL MY ROOM AND THEY ARE NOT HERE. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?! WHERE?!

DID THEY ENDED ON THE MOON?? IN THE BACKROOMS?! IS THERE SOMEONE IN THE BACKROOMS TRYING TO SURVIVE RUNNING AROUND IN CUTE TIE HOLDERS AND NECKLACES?! COME BACK HERE FUCKER THOSE ARE MINE I NEED THEM AAAAAAAAAA

I spent 6 hours cleaning up the mess I made, I have a headache and I did NOTHING productive today. I am. going crazy.

[he-who-writes]

Ten things I love about you (and the one thing I can’t stand)

1. Every Tuesday morning, you wake up early because you have a 9AM class and you stop by your favourite coffee shop on the way. You sit at the table closest to the front window so you can people watch. You always order an egg and cheese croissant with a cappuccino (with a dash of cinnamon sprinkled on top). You’re so polite and friendly to the employees and other patrons, and you never leave without tipping.

2. Your favourite band is My Chemical Romance even though you were born in 2005, because it’s your big brother’s favourite band. You even have a shirt from their Black Parade world tour, that you actually stole from your brother’s closet before moving out here for college. You know all of their lyrics by heart and you love singing their songs in the shower.

3. You’re very food adventurous, more than anyone I’ve ever known. It’s like nothing is too bizarre for you to taste; I’ve seen you try all sorts of meat and even insects, and one of your favourite meals is frog legs, which I have to admit sounds disgusting to me. But you speak about food and all of its intricacies so passionately that it’s almost impossible to dismiss your words. You really just love to explore options and try new things.

4. You collect noodle stopper figurines, which wouldn’t be such a big deal if you didn’t assign each of them specific brands and flavours. At first I thought it was a coincidence that your Blue Rose Hatsune Miku always sat on Chef Woo’s Thai lemongrass cup of ramen but after a while, I realized that she never sat on any other cup. I always wonder if you’ve written down your sorting system somewhere or if you just naturally remember who goes with what cup. It’s such an adorable (and very specific) quirk.

5. On Friday nights, when most of our classmates go out to drink and party, you spend the evening at the library. I thought you were studying at first but unless you have an exam coming up, you just read for fun. The silence is almost deafening some days, because nobody is there but us. You sit at a table with a few books, usually really niche non-fiction stuff, and you flip through them until something really catches your attention. Nature, historical facts, true crime, politics, societal issues - there’s nothing you won’t read. You’ve taken out “Other-Wordly: Words Both Strange and Lovely from Around the World” three times already, maybe I should buy it for you on your birthday.

6. You talk in your sleep. A lot. And you also laugh the cutest laugh like someone in your dreams tickled you. Most of what you say is nonsense, real words but strung together in sentences that nobody awake would say in any context. I’ve heard you ask questions so absurd that I had to cover my mouth to avoid waking you up with my giggling, and I have to admit that I’ve recorded you a few times just so I wouldn’t forget all the funny things I’ve heard.

7. Your cat Milkshake is spoiled rotten. I know this sounds like a critic but it’s something I adore about you. Maybe it’s because I grew up around men who didn’t show much feelings, or only owned dogs, but your relationship with your cat is so special. I didn’t even know you could take cats out on walks before I saw you put Milkshake into his little harness to tour the neighbourhood. The fact that you have tiny seasonal bandanas for him melts my heart. And I know you hold full conversations with the little guy, where you give him his own little voice and everything.

8. You have the funniest way to sneeze. I’m so used to the stereotypical loud sneeze from men in my life, but yours is so unusual. It goes up in pitch in one syllable and then down in the second, like a word, like you’re an alien who read that the onomatopoeia for sneezing is “achoo” and decided that you should try to emulate it. But you’re an alien so you have an accent on your “achoo” and it doesn’t sound quite like the way we say it. It’s so hard to explain but it’s so delightful and always makes me smile.

9. At least once a month, you have a virtual movie night with your dad. You’re both fans of horror, thrillers, sci-fi, and similar genres so you try to always watch new releases that sound interesting when they’re available to stream. And you’re not scared of crying when something tragic happens, even in front of your father, who never berates you for it even though he’s from an older generation. Your favourite movie is The Invitation and your father really loved Parasite - both are awesome movies, by the way.

10. You have a hidden tattoo on the side of your left thigh. You never show it but you really should, because it’s so beautiful. The way the artist rendered Hokusai’s The Great Wave off Kanagawa in full colour, using a shade that perfectly replicates the rich Prussian blue used back then is spectacular. It really looks like a woodblock print that somehow fades seamlessly into your skin. I don’t know why you hide it, or what it means to you, but I could look at it for hours and never get bored of it.

With all of that said, I should really tell you what I can’t stand though, right? Communication in relationships is paramount after all.

What I really hate about you...The one thing I despise.

Is that you don’t know that I exist.

[syrupyyy]

Post your anime figure collection 🥴

well okay since you asked,

(pls note that I did move some of them closer together for the sake of the picture. theyre usually displayed nicer than this)

without further ado, I present to all of u my humble anime figure collection (because I am very cool and I have an anime collection)

starting off we've got this Love Live petite set (they came with a little simple foldable stage, but i dont currently have that out to save some space)

and we've got this humble line of haikyuu figures (+ an Inu x Boku figure, and a lady sitting in a chair from an anime i havent seen ;×;)

some more of my general figures, three of my Mikus, and some madoka magica statues (which I love so much!!) (And also my officially licensed fruk mousepad lol)

my shelf on which I hold most of my larger figures (and one more haikyuu figure lol)

fun fact: I used to have a Rin nendoroid, but her neck peg irreparably broke last time I was moving, so she's rotting in a closet somewhere. I recently moved, and my Len nendoroids neck peg ALSO broke, but I didn't want to get rid of him, so his head is balanced precariously on his shoulders ;×;

and finally, the rest of my dusty ass figmas (+a Mikasa statue and another prize figure miku)

I have a few others (an in-box tracer nendoroid, a second Colorful Drop Miku (also in-box), some other attack on titan figmas/statues), but some of them are put away or I was too lazy to move them for a picture LOL

anyway I hope u all enjoyed this post thanks

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episodes 26 and 27. Special Summer Review!

Stand back! Iceman is gonna explode!

It’s summer everyone! This is a special review, we have reached season 2 of the first saga of Rockman.EXE! Today I am gonna review two episodes since not only are they beach episodes, but because these two episodes were never aired in America. That’s right, these are two of the four skipped episodes that were never dubbed, so in America, after Rockman’s revival, we skip to episode 28. 

Why were these episodes never shown in America? Let’s find out!

Spooky.

We open the first skipped episode in an airport where Netto seems ready to travel somewhere all by himself, with his parents and friends seeing him off.

“So what you’re saying is that if I’m losing in a Net Battle I activate the instant win button, right?”

Netto is ready to leave until his useless mom tells him something before leaving.

Playing the “favoritism card”, aren’t we? It’s bad enough that she sucks as a mom, but now she worries about his Navi more than her own son? And also, WHO LETS THEIR ELEVEN YEAR OLD TRAVEL ABROAD ALL BY HIMSELF?!

Netto’s plane leaves, and his friends let us know that he has won some kind of trip for winning second place in the N-1 tournament, right before Dekao shows everyone his swimming trousers.

Just... why?

In the plane, we see that just like with cellphones, PETs have to be turned off before take off. Netto turns on his PET and and sees the sun outside the window, he and Rockman then share a cute moment.

Aww.

The title card appears, and Netto arrives at his first destination, Uki Yuugi (Placent game) beach at the Southern Islands, where he is surprised to find that Meiru-chan and the others are there too!

I like their shared reactions. Wait, why does Rockman call Yaito “sama”?

Yaito explains, with a view of her very own comercial plane, that she was planning to take everyone to Jyawaii and decided to stop at the southern islands on the way, where she just happens to have her own summer mansion.

At the summer “house”, the PETs seem to be conected to eachother as we can see that the Navis, including Rush, are all enjoying a cyber version of the beach, each wearing a typical beach item.

Rockman looks so cute with goggles!

Everyone except for Iceman who, since he is an ice Navi, doesn’t go well with the cyber sun.

We then cut to Netto and the others playing in the ocean, until suddenly, a mechanical shark leaps out of the water over Netto’s head. It turns out to be Masa-san who is there for some reason, but why is the robotic shark huge in the next shot?

Also, does the aquarium know that Masa-san has their shark?

Netto invites Masa-san to play with them, Yaito and Meiru say that they are gonna rest at the summer house, but not before Yaito warns Netto about a Ghost Ship.

Whats with the pose? If a ghost appears to me like that, I would be really confused.

They all end up laughing about it, except for Dekao who is still spooked, and soon after we see the guys riding on a banana boat pulled by Masa’s robot shark. However, fog comes in and a giant ship appears.

The ship crashes into them and casts a net capturing Masa and Tohru while leaving Netto and Dekao in the middle of the ocean.

Back in the summer house, (where Meiru and Yaito seemed to have been playing UNO) they wonder what happend to the boys. Luckily, Yaito has access to a satelite camera where they quickly spot Dekao and Netto. Yaito decides to take action, with Meiru carrying all the PETs running after her.

And we get the reused footage of Yaito sitting in a couch and being transported to her very own submarine. This time the cloths are different, and I like how Meiru put a seat belt on the PETs.

To the Yaito sub! or how it’s called, to the “Yaito Mako”!

Netto and Dekao are paddling their way searching for the ship until they encounter the Yaito Mako that scares them to death, only to wake up inside it in the next shot.

They tell them about what happend and we see Rockman’s reaction to this.

“I wasn’t present when you first talked about it!”

We cut to and back from commercials with a new animation secuence with Rush being chased by a Mettool.

Our heroes catch up with the ghost ship under water, Yaito’s submarine then shoots inflatible bags at it forcing the ship to surface.

The group boards the ship, with Dekao clearly scared out of his wits, and of course, they decide to split up to search for the missing Tohru and Masa-san.

Dekao encounters the “ghost”, who anyone that played the second game know that it is a Null virus, and runs past Netto.

Shortly after, Yaito and Meiru-chan encounter the ghost as well.

What happend to calling her Yaito-sama?

Netto encounters the ghost and finds out that Meiru-chan has been captured in a net.

Netto tries to fight it off but his attacks go through it. The ghost leaves taking Meiru with it. Netto searches for everyone with Rockman hiding inside his PET.

They hear a bang coming from a door and after it falls over, giving both of them a heart attack, a freezing Tohru comes out.

He tells Netto that he was brought into the freezer along with the fish and that the ghost ship isn’t really haunted.

The two of them break into the ships control room where they encounter the ghost from before, Tohru tells Netto to plug-in to the wheel’s computer while he distracts it.

I think its safe to say that it isn’t a ghost, Rockman. And how does Tohru know this? Wasn’t he locked in the freezer until now?

Rockman starts deleting all of the aqua viruses, but an Octo virus absorbs all of the remaining viruses to transform into a bigger version of itself, blowing Rockman away with one attack. This causes the PET to activate the instant win program and Rockman gets the Heat Guts Style.

Which shouldn’t be the case since the Heat Style is suppoused to give him fire based attacks and the Octo virus is an aqua type. He defeats the virus and their friends roll out of a closet where the ghost kept them in a net.

They run up to deck where they find Masa-san who seems to be very good friends with the Null virus, I mean, ghost.

Masa says that he can understand the ghost because they are both “men of the sea” and explains that the ship’s A.I was infected with a virus, and since it is a fishing ship, it caught Masa and Tohru by mistake and Ibo ambushed them thinking that they wanted to steal the fish.

Oh, right, the ghost’s name is Ibo. The ship is returning underwater for some reason and Masa-san says good bye to his new friend before leaving with everyone.

In the next scene we see that everything went back to normal since Netto and friends are playing in the ocean again like nothing ever happen.

Iceman seems to be dying and nobody cares. XD 

Right after this, we cut over to Miyuki’s shop where she and Saloma are trying to close a suitcase thats blows up, followed by Saloma being embarrassed of her bikini bottom that lands on her head.

Turns out they are being called over by Commander Beef to solve a mystery about viruses becoming stronger.

And the episode ends with Commander Beef wondering about the problem and having an hallucination of Ibo where they go fishing together.

My thoughts.

This episode was weird, but that doesn’t explain why it was never dubbed, I guess it was because they spend a lot of time in the real world, running around in a ghost ship and playing on the beach, that we barely get any cyberworld action. So it was pretty boring for an anime that is suppoused to be action packed. And they never aknowlege that Ibo is in a fact a virus.

This episode introduces Rockman’s fear of ghosts that will become a little running gag in future seasons.

The next episode opens with a music video where a Hatsune Miku inspired character name Aki-chan is singing one of the weirdest and cheesiest songs I have ever read the lyrics from.

I also made a parody of this song in a short video I made with MMD, with Miku instead of Aki. Just so you know.

Tohru tells Netto that Aki-chan is the pop idol of Jyawaii aka Hawaii.

The Navis explain that they can’t touch her because her data is different from theirs. Which is noticeble considering that she is actually CGI, just seeing them together in the same shot is weird.

They complement how cute she is, even Rockman, but Roll has no problem with this since she also thinks Aki is cute.

“But if she even thinks of coming close to Rockman she wont be looking so cute anymore”

After talking more about Aki-chan, and also Masa-san complementing her fish shaped button, Yaito and Meiru appear to reveal their new outfits and poses.

The title card appears and it is explained that there is a contest coming up called  “The Real Aki-chan” where girls dress up as Aki and have to sing her songs, Netto finally realizes that Meiru and Yaito plan to enter the contest as well, but he doesn’t get scolded for his reaction since they suddenly hear someone screaming.

It is a terrified Mariko-sensei who is landing on a parachute, Masa tries to catch her, but is nowhere near and Mariko lands on her own.

Jesus Christ, Yaito! Can’t you just send her an e-mail like a normal person?!

And if Mariko-sensei hasn’t suffered enough, the wind blows the parachute away sending her flying again with Masa running after her.

This funny scene is followed by a shot of Miyuki and Saloma sun bathing in a boat before seeing Mariko-sensei pass by. They talk about not finding any clues regarding the powered up viruses and are interrupted by the Commander’s voice coming from a camera, who critizes their outfits or something.

Aren’t you supposed to be chasing Mariko-sensei who flew by just a minute ago?

For some reason we cut to Madoi who we see in some kind of photo shooting dressed as Aki-chan too, but then takes it off to reveal a full shot of herself in a bikini.

I burned my eyes taking this shot so you guys better leave me a good comment after this review.

Madoi is in a set she made because she is annoyed that everyone is at the southern islands except for her, and after this we also see Hinouken who looks like he is in Jyawaii hoping to find Netto so he can finally get his revenge, but it turns out he is just working at a construction site.

We cut back to Jyawaii where Netto and friends are walking around along with Mariko-sensei who seems to have gotten over the whole parachute incident and is looking foward to take part in the Aki-chan contest too.

I guess no one wants to tell her that she is a little too old  to be in the contest.

Suddenly, a giant trash cleaning machine appears and kidnaps Meiru, Yaito and Mariko-sensei.

The boys give chase to the machine. Netto, with Rockman’s help, takes a shortcut where he lands on top of the machine and activates its breaks. Unfortunately, it is the wrong one since there were different girls inside, they tell the boys how there were rumors that all the girls who entered the contest are getting kidnapped, which is confirm when they go talk to the manager of the contest.

The man is also the Manager of Aki-chan herself who is in a computer near them, she tells everyone about how sad she is for the contest being canceled if they dont stop whoever is kidnapping the participants. With this we notice that Iceman has a huge crush on Aki-chan as he promises that they will save the contest to make her happy again. 

Netto comes up with a plan to find the missing girls, and in the next scene we get this.

That’s it, I am blind now. I like the Navis reaction to this, though.

Iceman doesn’t agree with this plan since he thinks it is an insult to Aki-chan and that it will never work. Too bad for him a machine doesn’t see the difference and it catches them with the exact same animations from before.

After Iceman yells about them being the ENEMIES of Aki-chan, the machine takes them to an undergroud path where it dumps them in a warehouse, they slide down a shoot and Netto SOMEHOW manages to tie a wire as he falls.

The timing was so perfect I had to include that last shot! XD

They walk around and quickly find the missing girls with Meiru, Yaito and Mariko-sensei giving them a concert. Because they just had too much fate in them to even worry about being kidnapped.

Why the heck are the manager and his assistant there too?! Probably to make Iceman appear in Netto’s PET after saying that Aki-chan has gone missing. Looks like a lot happend while they were dressing up as Aki.

Was Netto’s plan for everyone to climb up that tiny wire? I know he is not a genious, but seriously!

After this fail, the cooling system of the warehouse starts to activate, luckily, Saloma and Miyuki suddenly appear to get them out.

“I think a better question here is, why are YOU dressed like that?”

Outside, Netto talks to the manager since they all find Aki-chan’s situation and the kidnapping very suspitious, so they agree to let Netto plug-in Rockman into the system to find the server where Aki-chan is stored in case of emergencies, because Aki isnt actually missing, they just lost contact with her.

Rockman types in the cheesy password, “A-R-A-I-N-B-O-W”, and various signs pop up to guide Rockman.

But Rockman is suddenly stopped by a Spooky virus. For some reason the anti-virus program isn’t working so Dekao and Tohru decide to plug-in their Navis to go help Rockman. Gutsman and Iceman coming to help distracts the virus, giving Rockman the chance to cover... whatever things it has for ears.

This confirms Rockman’s theory about Aki’s song being whats causing all the trouble.

I’m not sure how that would work if Aki wasn’t the one infected by a virus, but this turns out to be the case after Rockman, Iceman and Gutsman find a portal that transports them to the server where Aki is, only to find that her appearence have changed to an evil looking queen.

Much for Iceman’s dismay, Aki reveals that she was the one who kidnapped the girls because she is the REAL Aki-chan.

 The dark Aki sends a couple of Shadow viruses to attack them, the viruses have the ability to transform into various weapons, including a cannon, and soon they over power Gutsman and Iceman.

To make matters worse, the Shadow viruses use Aki-chan as a hostage. 

Rockman is unable to fight back until Netto realizes something suspitious about one of Aki’s buttons. After seeing Aki-chan shed a tear, Rockman gets motivated and Netto sends him a Sword to cut off the button revealing that a LV.3 Shadow virus was the one controlling her.

Netto activates the Style Change as the three viruses merge together to create a giant cannon. Rockman and the cannon’s attack collide, but Rockman’s power literally cuts through deleting the viruses.

In the next scene we get a sad looking Aki-chan worried that she can no longer be an idol after what she did, but thanks to Meiru-chan and everyone else cheering her up, she finally thanks them and vows to do her best.

What are you talking about, Rockman? What song?

 And the episode ends with everyone dressed as Aki-chan singing to their hearts content at the contest.

Tohru, you know you don’t have to dress like that, right? Also, those creepy men in the background. o-o

So what do I think of this one?

Despite my initial thoughts, Aki-chan is not a parody of Hatsune Miku. In fact, the vocaloid Hatsune Miku debuted in 2007 while this episode aired in 2002, maybe it was ahead of its time, maybe Aki-chan inspired Miku’s creation, or maybe it was an idea that wasn’t still very popular in and outside of Japan. Who knows?

This episode introduces Aki-chan who will appear in future episodes of this season, though her songs are changed for the dub to something less corny since they already changed most of the musical score of the show to a futuristic high tech beat.

This episode was probably skipped because of Madoi’s bikini scene and seeing Netto, Dekao and Tohru cross dressing. I can’t say that its also because of the girls dressed as Aki-chan because we see them dress like this again in another episode for a short moment.

The Shadow viruses looked tough in this episode, but if you play the game you’ll notice that their only weakness are sword chips, thats why Rockman was able to free Aki from the virus’s control and defeat all three of them in the end.

Speaking of viruses, since the second season is based on the events from BN2 the episodes will start to feature viruses from the second game, such as the Null and Octo virus in the previous episode and the shadow viruses in this one.

It was a fun episode, weird but charming, it’s not exactly important to the plot unless they aknowlege how the new viruses are smarter and stronger than the previous ones in future episodes.

[olivedoesmagic]

Reality shifting 5-6

Journal 5 : Hey there Delilah [The Plain White Teas]

I was seventeen. facing my agent in a limousine on the road. He told me about some of my other selves. He said I was slated to be in an upcoming Percy Jackson series (films) and that while not what we were headed two we were set to go to a premiere film that was my big break. A film titled Hey There Delilah. He told me I had blonde hair that I dyed it. I was slightly chubby in this reality as well. He seemed to have met my other selves (reality shifting) before. Finally the limo stopped and I stepped onto the red carpet, and the shifting fades. The fllm opened with a girl on her bike. In this reality I went by one of my characters names and my father didn't die until I was 16 rather then 13 like in this reality. He told me I didn't go by my birth name there either. I was still enrolled in my old middleschool, then highschool where I was set to graduate and unlike the boarding school at which I was sexually assaulted I never enrolled there despite my grandparents expressing interest in putting me there. My mother made the school accommodate my disability unlike in this reality where she just sent me to boarding school hoping it would "fix" me which it didn't. It broke me even more. I find this reality blending timing really convenient. I find it convenient because of an agreement involving acting I've recently entered with a spirit, my plans on getting an agent I've recently entered, and my attempts to get back into that field recently.

Reality shifting feels alot like astral projecting but it also has a certain vibe to it. It doesn't feel like lucid dreaming. When I was 13 I experimented a lot with lucid dreaming and retained it frequently. I did this by frequent reality checks and thus maintained frequent lucid dreams. It feels different to that though. To this world. It feels othering. Like you're somewhere else entirely. Like you're in another dimension. I when I do it, don't aim for any set destination. I just "do it" to quote Shia Leubuff. I've never aimed for a desired reality. That would be wish fulfillment and wish fulfillment isn't really why I reality shift. It's why a lot of people do. But I think that only wastes its potential as an art.

So this shift coincides with my upcoming career choices, attempts and career paths. My instigationsof my life so to speak. Quite honestly I'm a little jealous of this other me. Getting his foot in the acting door so young and getting a big break at 17. In a lot of ways...I wish that were me. But still. Even though it's not. It was interesting. Olive, out.

-Olive Brimstone 

12: 11 am

9/21/2020

Journal 6 : Digital Girl [Hatsune Miku]

I was in the shower. I was greeted by a strange spirit. 

Ahalgauhthorath a wavering web of eyes that only got more complex as I stared at him, looked back at me in the darkness of the shower he said. "Your kind I find interesting. Humanity is not the word I'm looking for. The kind who shift realities." Paraphrasing. He then left, I wrote this down and I went to bed. Later in the night I shifted again.

I was in bed. Finally warm after being horrendously cold all night. I reality shifted. I was in a tux. It was a Roman looking Senate full of men. My hair was brown it's natural color, pulled back in a pony tail, my chest was flat, binded, and I was lean. My alternate self he,noticed myself instantly and freaked out. He asked to be excused. Some people saw me as a spirit and muttered about witchcraft. But he went to the bathroom stall looked in the mirror to talk to me. He was female bodied but stealth. That's transgender code for in the closet but not as your birthgender as passing as your identified gender. Basically everyone thought he was born male.

 He was English. I asked him about Crowley, he never heard the name before. He told me magick was outlawed. I explained reality shifting to the best of my abilities to him. I told him I was from America and told him about our dating system which he never heard before, and about how anyone could be trans here and open. He liked the sound of it. He knew it as "the Americas" where "Indians-natives lived". Pardon the terminology that’s simply how he knew it. He wanted more information on our world so I gave him a sigil for me and my magickal name and told him how to do an evocation and told him to focus on this version of me and to call me for more info my familiar then scolded me for this. Anyways that was a pretty wild ride. He did seem to know of the puritans so there's that I suppose. Anyways its 3 in the morning and I'm but ass tired so that's all for now gnight.

-Olive Brimstone

3:47 AM

9/21/2020

[hell-bound-stories]

The voice

The heavy door flew open into an empty hall followed by a small student. They frantically looked around though watery eyes and ran down the corridor. Just as quickly they found their way into another room. It was a small simple computer room with no one inside. Leaving the lights off the student wasted no time getting to the furthest corner. Sitting on the ground with their head in their knees, arms wrapped tightly around shaking, they tried their best but ultimately struggled to breathe. A million and one panicked thoughts raced through their head at impossible speed as they failed to hold back tears. 

What felt like a thousand years later someone opened the door to the dark room. The stranger looked around and quickly spotted the mass in the corner, now frozen in even more fear. The stranger made their way carefully through the dark room to the student, finding a spot on the floor near them. The student didn’t move, not even daring to look up to see who the stranger was. They could hear them taking deep slow breaths, but they didn’t speak. Together they sat in a less than comfortable silence, the student slowly, slowly regaining themselves over time. Right now they wanted nothing more than to be alone, for the stranger to just leave. It seemed like for a moment they’d get their wish. The stranger checked their phone, noting the time they quickly left the room.

Not for long however.

A minute later they had returned. Relief washed over the student as the stranger sat back in the same spot as before but this time placing a bag on the ground with them as well. The students backpack. Together they sat again in the stale dark silence, til the bell rang. Time for next period. 

The student slowly began to move, shakiness ever present in their hands. Their head still in their knees as a voice broke the silence. 

“You’re ok” She said, “There’s not another class in here till after lunch”

Her voice was soft and welcoming, almost warm in a way, like the voice of an angle. Those words began to echo through the students' mind. ‘You’re ok’

They shifted back into their original position, still choosing not to look at the girl accompanying them. Tears continued to fall from their eyes, and their breathing was still heavy and desperate . They wanted to be alone but didn’t want the stranger to leave.

The girl looked around the dark room, eyes eventually landing on the backpack she had picked up before. It was a simple black bag with a few colourful buttons on it. She immediately recognized one of the characters on a button.

“Hey” she softly spoke, “you hear Miku turned 13?” she asked, trying to strike up familiar conversation. The student shifted in place, their mind began to think of miku of all things. They didn’t understand why she was talking about this now, but knew exactly what she was going on about. They didn’t say anything, keeping their head down. 

“Yeah, she gets to have a teenage photo shoot, not a pre-teen anymore” She laughed quietly. This also garnered a laugh from the student. A small, almost non existent laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. The girl went on, talking and joking about the fictional singer. Though the student never said anything, it didn’t feel like a one sided conversation. 

As she spoke, breathing slowly became easier, and the shaky hands stopped shaking, eye’s cleared from tears and a once fear riddled mind was now just thinking about the blue haired fictional pop star. They still haven’t moved, choosing to keep looking down at the ground.

With a pause in the conversation the girl checked her phone again.

“Oh fourth period is gonna start in a bit, doing some math should help keep your mind off things” She stood up, stretching “well I need to run, it was nice talkin to you” 

With that simple goodbye she was gone, out the door she came through only an hour ago. Only when the door was fully closed did the student look up. They took off their glasses and whipped them off on their hoodie. They began to wonder who that girl was, and how she knew they had math next. Before they could think too hard about it the bell rang, abruptly cutting off their thoughts.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They knew it.

They fucking knew it.

They knew this would happen, they knew going out was a mistake, they knew they shouldn’t have listened to their friend.

“It will be fun” she said, “I’ll be with you the whole time, you need to get out more, learn to have fun” It was all bullshit. 

Now here they were, hiding in some random rich person's closet with muffled music and shouting seeping through the walls as a random summer party went on in the floors below. The few sips of beer in their stomach did little to help the situation. 

A million voices screamed in their head as they sat in the corner shaking, tears escaping as they desperately tried to get any air they could. Everything felt too loud and the closet felt too big. Fearing they could pass out at any minute, they just wanted to go home. 

They didn’t notice when the door opened, and someone walked in. Gently the stranger sat down next to them. They could sense that someone was there next to them, but didn’t look up to see and didn’t dare say a word, not that they could have anyway between choked sobbs. However this stranger felt familiar in a way. 

They both sat in silence, only noise slicing through was heavy breathing and the muffled music from the floors below. They never wanted to be so alone, but again didn’t want the stranger to leave. They helped make the room feel smaller, the walls quieter. They sat together for well over two hours, her presents continuing to calm them as time went on. It was still some time before the stranger decided to talk.

“Parties suck” she said in a soft familiar voice.

“Mhmm” They nodded, keeping their head down.

“Maybe I should go beat your friend up” she casually suggested. 

“What?!” They looked up quickly, snapped out of their haze at the thought. Finally meeting eyes with the stranger. They both stared at each other for a moment, neither expecting what they thought they might see.

The huddled teen had messy semi short brown hair, like they had cut it themselves. A part of it covering their messy tear stained glasses. Dark circles clearly present under their soft brown eyes. They wore a simple oversized hoodie.

The girl was far more interesting to say the least. She had long two toned hair, half pure white, and the other half a soft sky blue. It looked natural as well, not dyed like you think it would be. She had stark unearthly yellow golden eyes, but were nonetheless warm and inviting. She wore an expensive looking varsity type jacket. She looked 100x too cool to just be seen next to them, let alone talk to. 

She broke the sudden silence again, “well why not? She’s the reason you're here isn’t she?”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean you should beat her up” They rubbed their temple, headaches starting to set in. “you seem” they paused, “familiar” 

“Oh” she seemed kinda flustered and taken back, “what do you mean?”

“Your voice, I remember it from somewhere” They thought for a moment, “you’re that girl, you got my bag for me and we talked in that computer room a few months ago”

“Yeah” she confessed, “that’s me”

“Do you even go to Faraday?” They questioned, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around”

“Oh I tend to blend in,” she explained awkwardly. 

“With hair like that?” they gestured to the brightly coloured hair on her shoulders, “I think I would have noticed you in the halls” 

“Yeah well….” She trailed off, not knowing how to explain that.

“Heather” she held out her hand with a warm but awkward smile

They looked at their hand, choosing not to reach out, “---------” 

“Nice to meet you” She put her hand down, however the soft smile stayed.

“Wait,” they began to think, “how do you know that I came here with my friend?” 

“Well………….”

[frog-fairy]

VERY last minute closet cosplay (I’ve misplaced my actual costume somewhere) selfies for Hatsune Miku’s 10th Birthday!!!

[suzakumuto]

I wanna be a rock star just like you!!!!!

Suzaku was in the middle of getting ready for his concert coming up later tonight, he puts on his black fingerless gloves to finish off.

Chiriko: "Uncle Suza, those gloves look so cool!!!!"

The five year old boy smiles as Suzaku leans on the floor to get to his height level, and places his hand on top of the little boys head.

Suzaku: "you think so Chi?"

Chiriko: "yup, everything about you is cool, that's why when I grow up I want to be a rock star too!!!!"

Suzaku: "it's not easy, but hearing you say that makes me feel happy Chi, does your mother know your here"

Chiriko: "no, she doesnt care, uncle Victor brought me here through, hes the only one that looks after me and big sister miku and pays attention to us..... I think mommy possibly hates us because we look like mama"

Suzaku: "I'm sure she doesn't hate you Chi, no mother hates her children, shes just broken in side, she still loves your mama Minako"

Chiriko: "still.... it's so unfair, my twin sister Kira still gets attention"

Suzaku: "I know it's not very fair at all........I think its cause your sister doesnt look anything like mama Minako, who knows, but listen me, uncle victor, mama and aunt Jessie and uncle mika still love you and Miku"

Suzaku hugs Chiriko, he really did feel sorry for him and Miku, he himself grew up with out his mother, in his case it was different his mother worked overseas.

Suzaku: "I will speak to Jessie later see if you and miku can stay over this weekend, I can take you both out somewhere"

Milo walks threw the door running his fingers threw his lavender hair and looks at the two after over hearing.

Milo: "If Jessie says no, I will have them crash at mine, in away there both my kids now too, Minako has been talking about wanting to take both Chiriko and miku to the zoo"

Suzaku: "honestly I was thinking the Zoo too, alright I will keep you up to date, there is a high chance Jessie will decline, now that Mika is expecting a baby we dont have alot of space at the moment"

Milo: "I still can't believe Mika is pregnant is so very hard to believe, with his fear of germs and such and being an athlete at sports"

Suzaku: "I know none of us expected it, but he seems up for it, anyways I'm going to take Chiriko out to find Victor before I go and talk to Jessie"

Milo: "alright, don't be late for the concert man"

Suzaku chuckles as he gets up picking Chiriko up.

Suzaku: "your one to talk Milo, I'm never late, how ever your late all the time"

Milo: "true, but that's not always my fault"

Suzaku: "ah ha yeah right see you later Milo"

Suzaku exists his changing room.

Chiriko: "Milo is pretty funny, is he really always late?"

Suzaku: "yup, he either over sleeps or loses track of time"

There was more but Suzaku wasnt going to tell the five year old that Minako was sometimes to blame with the makeout moments they have in the cleaners closet.

_____________________________________________________

@jaxthejoker one off mini XD

[lumiolivier]

Chapter Twelve:  The Birth of Russell

Word Count:  4242

Chapter No. 12/36

Notes:  I’m sorry.  I had a thing last weekend, so I didn’t post last weekend.  However, I don’t regret it.  I was busy making a beautiful cake that I’m sure my MCs would’ve approved of.  Big time.  If you haven’t seen it, I posted it on Snapchat, I posted it on Facebook, I posted it on Twitter.  I might post it here eventually because I’m pretty damn proud of it.  Especially for the little experience I had working with fondant.  But all that aside, how about a new chapter?  Is that ok with you?

Chapter Eleven:  Face Off

Four-thirty came far too early.  I didn’t want to move.  I had zero desire to get out of bed.  Then again, I had to be at Julian’s in half an hour, so the cougars didn’t attack.  Now, I get why he said cosplayers were chameleons. Granted, he was speaking of his ex-fiancée, but we can change who we are at the drop of a hat.  Sometimes that’s a terrible thing, like the case of Julian’s ex. Other times, it’s what’s keeping his ass safe.

 Despite the fact that I was half dead inside, I took a quick shower and picked my poison for the day. Today was a Ciel Phantomhive day. I’m not sure why, but it was.  A lot of deep, rich blues and a little bit of ruffle.  It was nineteenth century London and Ciel was a noble after all.  As soon as I looked cuter than all holy hell, I packed up my makeup case and started heading toward Julian’s while the sun rose behind me.

 I walked into his house without bothering to knock first like he said I could.  Huh.  All was still in Julian’s house.  I’m almost positive I told him I’d be here at five.  Here it was, five o'clock.  Where, oh where, was Julian?  I know he isn’t doing something silly like still sleeping.  We had this planned last night.  I’m sure he did something smart like set an alarm either on his clock or on his phone.  Because that’s the kind of responsible adult he is.

 However, that wasn’t the case.  Of course not.  That couldn’t be the case.  Not at all. Julian’s ass was still out cold. Every fiber of my being wanted to just scream and bitch at him, but I understood.  I was a bit on the sleep deprived side myself yet.  Instead of going off on him, I wanted to see something. Sure, it was a little creepy, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.  Besides, I hadn’t had something quite like this ins two years.  I took off my knee high black boots and climbed into his bed, replacing his Miku pillow.  That I honestly thought he was joking about.  But I had no room to judge.  I had Sebastian.  He had Miku. No judgment.

 Wow…I forgot what this felt like.  A warm body against me.  Almost as if he was acting on pure instinct, Julian’s arm tightened around me, cradling me against his chest.  It had been so long since I had felt so safe and loved and special to someone.  I swallowed the growing lump in my throat, hoping my eyes didn’t spring a leak, too.  Julian didn’t need to wake up to that.

 “Good morning, Mimi,” his voice grumbled sleepily, shaking me to my very soul.

 “How did you know it was me?” I wondered as he held me a little tighter.

 “You said five o'clock last night,” Julian reminded me, not even bothering to open his eyes, “Here it is. Five o'clock, probably.  Who else would it be?  My mom’s in Florida and you’re the only one I know here.”

 “Your mom would come in and cuddle wit you like this?” I worried.  Maybe Julian was more of a mama’s boy than I gave him credit for.

 “Before you ask,” he rubbed his eyes, “I don’t have an Oedipus complex.  But when I was younger, she’d come in early in the morning and I’d get all snuggly.”

 “I can’t imagine,” I got a little more comfortable, “I think I can do this in about half an hour.”

 “In that case,” Julian smiled a little, “We have a little time to kill, yeah?”

 “We don’t have time to kill,” I corrected him, “That’s not a definite time limit.  We need to get this done now.”

 “Relax, Mimi,” he covered my face with his hand, “I’m not awake and neither are you.  We can go back to sleep.”

 “No, we can’t,” I tried getting up, but between Julian’s arm and my sheer lack of willpower, I stayed in his bed, “We have to go to work.”

 “I don’t want to,” Julian whined, “I want to stay here with you.  We can work tomorrow.”

 “I know,” I rested my head on his chest, “And we will work tomorrow, but unfortunately, we have to work today, too.  We have to get up.”

 “You sound worse than my mom,” he finally sat up in bed, “You think you could throw me a t-shirt?”

 “Do I have to?” I admired the view of Julian’s muscle definition.

 “Ogle later,” Julian promised, “For now, I could probably cut diamond.  I need a t-shirt.”

 “Fine,” I grabbed a black one out of his closet on the non-cosplay side, throwing it at him, “Here.”

 “And a flannel,” he requested, “Don’t care what color.”

 “You want me get you some pants, too?” I teased.

 “If you don’t mind.”

 “No,” I rolled my eyes, “You’re a big boy, Julian.  You can get your own damn pants.”

 “Jesus,” Julian smiled, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of my bed this morning.  You’re usually a left side, aren’t you?”

 “Shut up,” I threw him a green flannel, “It was a momentary lapse.”

 “Was it?” he asked.

 “You’re delirious,” I wrote him off.

 “So, what if I am?” Julian stuck his tongue out at me like an adult.

 “Come on,” I left his bedroom, “We have a lot to do and little time to do it.”

 “Do you know how much it sucked peeling that liquid latex off last night?” he scoffed, “That made for a fun shower.”

 “Still got my rings though?” I hoped.

 “Yes,” Julian nodded, grabbing them off his kitchen counter, “All three of them.”

 “Good!” I smiled, “By the way, I suggest you grab some baby oil on the way home if you don’t have any. Gets the liquid latex off easier.”

 “Thanks for telling me that now,” he growled.

 “No problem!” I chirped, “Had to make you suffer a little bit.”

 “Haven’t I suffered enough?” Julian whined, sitting on a barstool, “And I have to go through all of this all over again?  It sucks!”

 “Welcome to the pains of being a woman,” I retaliated.

 “Touché,” he let it go pretty quick after that, “All this just to keep a group of women off my back.”

 I started putting on the first layer of liquid latex the same way I did yesterday, “I do wish people had the decency to keep some of their thoughts to themselves.  And their hands…”

 “You, of all people, understand why I’m doing this,” Julian pointed out, “I saw the way Griffin was with you.  How you don’t straight up deck him is beyond me.  I have to commend you for your self-control.  How in the hell do you deal with that?”

 “I’m a firm believer in karma,” I admitted, “One day, his being disgusting is going to come back and bit him in the ass and he won’t be able to sit for a while.”

 “You sure do know how to paint a picture, Mimi,” he giggled, “I wish it was a better picture.”

 “Me, too,” I sighed out, “Maybe while we’re running the con circuit, it’ll get better.”

 “It’s amazing,” Julian gushed, “There’s nothing like competing at conventions.  Especially if they require a skit for groups.  Those are always the best.  That’s when it can turn into crack real quick.  It doesn’t always go that route and they’ll end up following something from their respective genre down to the letter. Other times, it ends up in a rap battle.”

 “Oh, dear God,” I shook my head, “This is why the aliens pass us over.”

 “Hey,” he stopped me for a minute, “Do you think you and I could do Roy and Riza for our first con?”

 “What?” I gave him a look, “Are you serious?”

 “They’re kind of my OTP,” Julian admitted, “They’re too perfect for each other and you know it.”

 “I could’ve told you that,” I brushed him off, “It’s Royai!  What’s not to love about it?  Her father was his alchemy teacher.  She’s practically his nanny.  They’ve known each other since the dawn of time.  Give me two people more suited for each other!”

 “I can’t.”

 “Exactly,” I thought a little more about what he had just said and I never felt such a combination of stupid and anxious, “Are you trying to tell me that we’re too perfect for each other?”

 “No,” he defended, “I’m saying that I never got to do Royai and I want to do Royai, dammit.”

 “Your ex wouldn’t do Royai?” I wondered, hoping that wasn’t poking the bear too much.

 “She never liked Fullmetal Alchemist,” Julian explained, “She thought it was too disturbing. Roxanne didn’t like the gory stuff too much, so I had to watch Fullmetal Alchemist and Attack on Titan when she wasn’t home.”

 “So, you never got to do Edwin either?” my heart broke.

 “Nope.”

 “But you have a State Alchemist pocket watch!” I pouted while blending my little heart out, “You probably have Edward’s jacket somewhere, too, don’t you?”

 “Oh, yeah,” he assured, “I might not have made the watch, but I did have to carve the don’t forget into it.  Did it with my soldering iron.”

 “Fun fact,” I got another brush, “October third?  The day Ed and All burned the house down?”

 “Yeah,” Julian backed off for a minute, grabbing a Rockstar can off the counter, “What about it? That’s next week, too.”

 “That’s my birthday,” I beamed, “I was predestined for otakuhood as soon as I came out of the womb.”

 “Are you serious?” he gasped, “That’s fucking awesome!”

 “It’s true,” I squeaked, “I’m officially a little cooler than you.”

 “I don’t know about that,” Julian stopped me, “I share a birthday with a particular character that you would have his babies in an instant.”

 “And who is this?”

 “Well,” he smirked while I put his piercings in, “My birthday is June thirteenth.”

 My heart stopped, “Noiz.”

 “That’s right,” Julian sang out, “Was I right about the whole babies thing?”

 “I might not want any of my own right now,” I elaborated, “But if the situation were to arise, I would be more than happy to surrogate for Noiz and Aoba.”

 “You would,” he rolled his eyes.

 “Hey!” I snapped, putting his second eyebrow ring in, “You’re moving too much.  I can and will poke your eye out.”

 “Sorry,” Julian apologized, “You know, Mimi, I just noticed something.”

 “What’s that, sweetie?”

 “You and I have hung out every single night since we met,” he pointed out, “Almost.”

 “Yeah,” I slid the ring through the liquid latex, “What about it?”

 “I’m just curious,” Julian shrugged, “What are we doing tonight?”

 “I can’t come over tonight,” I broke the news to him, “I have to stay home.  Mom and Dad miss me.”

 “Then, why don’t I come over to your place instead?” he suggested, “That way, your parents get to see you and we don’t have to break our streak.”

 “As genius as that is,” I praised, “And this is nothing against you in the least, but I think some time with the folks wouldn’t be a half bad idea.  Besides, you still won’t tell me what you have planned for Saturday.”

 “I never said I had anything planned,” Julian groaned, “I just told you to keep it open.”

 “I had to cancel on Veronica for that.”

 “And you were ok with that.”

 I gave Julian a little smack upside the head and screwed the little ball on his last ring with no idea what I was going to do with him.  Maybe maiming.  Maiming sounded like a good idea, “There.  You’re golden, Julian.  You want a new name and a backstory?”

 “You are a writer, aren’t you?” he teased.

 “Guilty,” I beamed, “Now, do you or don’t you?”

 “What the hell?” Julian nodded, “Why not?  Hit me. Who am I?”

 “You’re the childhood friend that moved back to town sophomore year of high school,” I put his own words back in his mouth, “Remember?  We were best friends through grade school.  Then, when you came back, puberty hit you like a ton of bricks and you became the hot, yet approachable friend.”

 “Use your own material next time,” he shoved me a little, “What’s my name?”

 “Haruka…” I sighed out, immediately biting my tongue.  That wasn’t supposed to slip out.  Neither was that half orgasm that came with it.

 “Excuse me?” Julian lit up, Come again?  Because I have a feeling you just did a little.”

 “Ha, ha,” I laughed sarcastically, “I’m sorry.  I just had a flashback to a dream I had a while back.”

 “And what kind of dream was that?” he poked at me.

 “Nothing,” I turned bright red almost instantly, “Forget I said anything.”

 “That noise your throat just made is going to be pretty hard to forget,” he dug deeper, “What happened in this dream?”

 “Drop it, Julian,” I growled at him.

 “Oh, no,” Julian grabbed his car keys off the kitchen counter, “We need to explore this a little further. You said Haruka, so I’m assuming those Iwatobi boys were involved.  Or maybe just Haru.”

 “Shut up, Julian,” I was ready to punch him in his reconstructed mouth.

 “I won’t judge,” he promised, “I’m curious.”

 “No!” I snapped, “I’m keeping that dream to myself.”

 “Please?” he begged.

 “I’m not telling you,” I shot him down, regrettably getting into the passenger seat of his car.

 “Do it,” Julian insisted, “All the cool kids are doing it.”

 “I don’t give a shit about the cool kids,” I admitted, “I never was one of the cool kids.  Why bother starting now?”

 “If you tell me,” he bargained, “I’ll leave you alone about it and I’ll forget it ever happened.”

 “Fine,” I caved, “And you won’t judge?”

 “Not at all,” Julian swore, “Mine’s done some pretty shameful things, too.  You’re not alone.”

 “Ok,” I let out a heavy, exasperated, defeated sigh, “It started out with me waking up in bed and for some ungodly reason, Rin Matsuoka was standing in my doorway with my work apron on.  Don’t ask me why.  He just was.”

 “Ok,” he backed out of his driveway, “I won’t question it.  Go on.”

 “He didn’t want me to go to work,” I continued, “He just wanted to stay in bed all day with me and apparently, the night before we were having sex.”

 “Hot,” Julian praised, “Let me guess.  You two got kinky, didn’t you?”

 “Rin told me I was bendy,” I groaned, my voice dripping with regret, “And…It wasn’t us two…”

 “Uh-oh,” he grinned darkly, “I smell a threesome!”

 “Yeah,” I bit my lip, “There was a threesome involved.”

 “I’m guessing Haru was the other?”

 “Yep,” I went on, “And Haru had gotten really jealous of me because Rin was favoring me over him.  I got thrown off my own bed and Haru jumped in with Rin.  Then, things got really heated and Haru was asking Rin what his name was.  hence why when you asked me what your name was in relation to the face I gave you, that’s why I said Haruka.”

 “Oh, Mimi,” Julian pulled up to the café, “You didn’t say Haruka.”

 “That never happened,” I snarled, “You tell anyone what happened this morning, I swear to God, I’ll start peeling latex.”

 “I’m not going to tell anyone,” he reassured, “I promised you that I wouldn’t judge and I wouldn’t tell. So, you had a little yaoi dream.”

 “You were making quite the fuss over it,” I settled a little, shutting the car door behind me.

 “I just like giving you shit,” Julian hugged me, bringing me down the rest of the way, “But you never gave me a name.”

 “I don’t know what I’d call you,” I wiggled out of his arms, “What’s your middle name?”

 “Russell.”

 “Seriously?” I scoffed, “Fine.  It’ll have to do.”

 “I can’t be Sebastian, can I?” he nudged me inside, “Because that was my name without the new face.”

 “I’m sorry,” I grabbed my apron, “It was the first thing I thought of.”

 “I must admit,” Julian shot me a wink, “It did get me all tingly when you gave me the order.”

 “You’re such a dork.”

 “But I’m your dork, young mistress,” he bowed to me.

 “Julian…”

 “I’ll get to work then!”

 That boy…A part of me wanted to beat him senseless with a wrench Winry Rockbell style.  But on that same token, a part of me wanted to hold onto him and never let him go.  If I thought about it hard enough, we did actually have quite an Edward and Winry relationship. We both shot down any thought of us being together.  I wanted to beat Julian with a wrench already.  Hell, in a way, I had made artificial body parts for him, too.

 Then, I thought about how Edward and Winry ended up.  I could still hear it in the back of my head clear as day.  Equivalent exchange!  I’ll give have of my life to you, if you give half of yours to me!  Probably one of my favorite moments in anime history.  But in application to the current situation I was in, if I was really going to compare Julian and me to Edward and Winry, they ended up married with two kids, living happily ever after in Resembool.

 And then, a Russian gymnastics team made their home in the pit of my stomach.  For a brief moment, I was almost positive I was going to throw up. I had one arm on my stomach and the other on the counter, doing my best to keep my balance.  I hated when shit like this happened.  These sudden realizations were going to be the death of me.

 “Mimi?” Julian came out from the kitchen, “You ok?”

 “Fine,” I tried bringing myself down, “I’ll be ok.”

 “You sure?” he asked, “You don’t look so good.”

 “Rude,” I laughed it off, “I’ll be fine.”

 All of a sudden, dizziness hit me like a Mack truck.  But I had to keep my balance.  The last thing I wanted to do was pass out at work.  I was fine.  I’d be ok. I was just overthinking things. Yeah.  That’s all this was.  just a big misunderstanding.  Just my mind playing tricks on me.  Everything was cool.  Everything would be ok.

 “Come here,” Julian had a paper towel in his hand and put it up to my nose, tilting my head back, “And you said you were ok.”

 “What the hell are you doing?” I snapped.  But in the same breath, I noticed the blood soaking through that paper towel.  This wasn’t happening…

 “Taking care of your random bloody nose,” he did his best to calm me down, “Now, are you sure you’re ok?”

 “Just a little overreaction,” I assured, “I’ll be fine.”

 “Maybe you should sit down until your nose stops bleeding,” Julian suggested, “You want anything?”

 “Something cold,” I requested, taking the register booth.

 “Green tea, right?” he asked, “Squeeze of honey, little splash of lemon juice?”

 “Yeah,” I was impressed he remember something so trivial.  The day he came in, I was making a small batch green tea.  Then again, on that same token, the day he came in was the day I had the Rin/Haru dream.

 “What happened here?” Mr. Griffin had come in.  Fantastic.

 “Mimi had a nosebleed,” Julian reported, “Nothing to worry about.  I got it handled.”

 “Thank you…Uh…” the boss looked him over, “What was your name again?”

 “Russell, sir,” he didn’t even hesitate.  

 “Anyway,” Mr. Griffin went on, “Mimi, are you alright?”

 “I’m not going to bleed out,” I promised, taking my cold green tea from Julian, “What brings you by today, Mr. Griffin?”

 “Just checking in on my new model employee,” he told, “I did say to have him trained by the end of the week.”

 “Well?” I asked, “How did I do?”

 “Not too bad,” Mr. Griffin applauded, “Good for you, Mimi.  How does a twenty-five-cent raise sound?”

 “Really?” I squeaked, “That sounds wonderful!  Thank you, sir.”

 “I’d only do that for you,” he winked at me, sending chills down my spine, “As soon as your nose is done bleeding, get back to work.”

 “Yes, sir!” I chirped as he walked out the door, “Hell yeah!  I just got raise!”

 “Congratulations,” Julian sang, bringing me another paper towel.

 “I kind of want to celebrate,” I admitted, “Care to join me?”

 “I’d love to,” he agreed, “But remember?  You said you had to stay home tonight because your parents miss you.”

 “As much as I’m going to hate to say this,” I threw one of my bloody paper towels away, “I think you might be right.”

 “Excuse me?” Julian leaned in, “You think you could say that a little louder for those in the back?”

 “You were right,” I pushed him away, “I think you should come over tonight.  That way, we can celebrate my raise and my parents still get to see me.”

 “Awesome!” he squeaked, “Should I bring a bottle of wine or would that be in bad taste?”

 “You could bring that bottle of Fireball,” I suggested, “Just keep it in your inner coat pocket.”

 “I don’t have an inner coat pocket.”

 “You get what I mean, smartass,” I rolled my eyes.

 “Alright then,” Julian smiled, “Dinner with the parents already?  Mimi, this is so sudden.”

 “Would you like a bloody nose, too?”

 “Not particularly.”

 Once the blood stopped pouring out of my nose, I threw myself back into the fray and buckled down. I don’t know why I was still trying to impress the boss.  Griffin wasn’t even here anymore and I had already gotten my raise.  All I was waiting on was a promotion.  And I was content with where I was now.  As soon as lunch rolled around, I was definitely earning that raise.

 For some strange reason, we got flooded with more customers than normal.  there had to have been something going on in town that I didn’t know about. Didn’t keep myself up to date with the community calendar.  I could’ve cared less.  Tractor show in town maybe?  It was that time of the year.  That was the only thing I could think of.  Regardless, I still had a shit ton of people to deal with.  However, one local face made it a little easier to handle.

 “Hey, Roni,” I put her wrap and her coffee in her hands, “As much as I’d love to chat right now, we’re swamped.”

 “That’s fine,” Veronica understood, “Where’s Julian?  I wanted to say hi before I left.”

 “Julian’s not here,” I explained, keeping my voice down, “He’s kind of incognito.”

 “Who’s the new guy then?” she asked, eyeing him up.

 “That’s Russell,” I said, making change for another customer, “He’s a peach.”

 “He looks like he could be Julian’s brother,” Veronica thought, “Does Julian have any brothers that have mysteriously blown into town?”

 “You have a boyfriend, Veronica,” I reminded her, getting someone else’s order.

 “I know,” she pouted, “I’m just saying if things fall through with us.  It doesn’t hurt to have a back-up plan.”

 “Wow,” I cringed, “That’s terrible.”

 “That’s the way the cookie crumbles,” she shrugged, “Just trying to stay on top of the game.”

 “I’m disappointed,” I shook my head at her, “I raised you better than that.”

 “But do you honestly think I’m better than that?” Veronica asked with a note of condescension in her voice, “Do you really?”

 “There’s always hope,” I kept my fingers crossed, “Maybe with the next one.”

 “You know you love me,” she chimed, “I’ll let you get back to it then.”

 “See you later, Roni,” I waved her off.

 This job was going to be the death of me.  Why couldn’t I have something easier?  Why couldn’t my fan fiction make me money?  Why did no one want to publish me?  That’s right.  I have to have an original idea in order to get published.  And I hadn’t had an original idea in five years.  Nevertheless, I had to persevere.  That was the name of the game, wasn’t it?  

 Once the workday was finally done, I was free to put my feet up.  Something about the café after closing seemed oddly peaceful.  Especially after the day we had.  I had never seen this place so packed in my three years of working here.  amazing what kind of people tractor shows attracted here.  and how many.  Honestly. If they’ve seen one tractor, they’ve seen them all.  There’s nothing new about them.  four wheels, a pain in the ass to drive around, either red or green.  Yippee!  Sounds so exciting!  I hated living in a farm town.

 “Well,” Julian sat with me, “Am I taking you home and sticking around or am I coming over later?”

 “Give me half an hour to decompress,” I instructed, “Then, come over.  Besides, I left my makeup case at your house anyway.  I need that back.”

 “Alright then,” he nodded, “Did you do that on purpose?”

 “I wasn’t bringing that with me.”

 “Fair enough,” Julian allowed, “Come on.  Let’s get you home.”

 And just like that, my day started with cuddling with Julian only to give me a nosebleed.  That seemed weirdly fitting.  Was I going to say it?  I didn’t want to, but it may be time.  No.  Not now. I’m not.  There’s no way…