#mike saying his character should come back because it’s FUCKING TIM

[syoemei]

in the last ten episodes of tma. i am so well, i am so normal about these characters. the cast interview retrospective did not gut me and send me into grieving regarding all the characters we’ve lost along the way nope nope nope

[formerprincess]

A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 57

Chapters: 57/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

The pack learns that there are good supernatural beings out there, you just have to find them. And they get protection from such an unexpected source they barely can believe it.

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"I swear, if you pull more I will fall flat on my face!"  "Hey, it's not my fault I barely have room to move!"  "Mike, you're standing on my toes! Ouch!"  "Yank me one more time and I will kick you!" "You still have room to kick? How? Ugh, Lori, that's my foot, I'm sorry!"  "Thank god our neighbors cannot see into our backyard and watch us standing there all chained up!"  "We're not chained up. It's rope."  "Nitpicker!... Mike, I swear!!" "You're cutting my blood flow off! Stop moving so much!!”

“Guys!" Liam raised his voice to be heard over his bickering Betas. To be fair, he kinda got them. They were all in the garden and all had some part of a big rope wrapped around their wrists or arms. Due to the rope, moving was restricted and as difficult as it could be. The loose ends swayed in the light breeze going on outside which also didn't help with the Betas' impatience. "I know this is difficult but Ever needs it for a spell, okay? Work with us here and it will be done in just a few minutes." He glanced at Ever. "Please, tell me it will only be a few minutes!" She looked up from where she was crouched next to Maya, a book on her lap. Her left hand was not bound on because she used it to turn the pages but her right arm was raised from where it was bound to Maya's arm. It looked uncomfortable and Liam felt sorry for her. For them all, honestly. He was the reason they were all playing tug-o-war with each other in their garden after all. Ever sighed. "I never cast such a large protection spell for a property before. But I asked around in my family and a few other witches and this one seems to be the best for the job. It really should just take a couple of minutes." Mason craned his head to get a look at her from his position in the crooked circle they had settled for. "How high are the chances we will be damned for all eternity?" Again she sighed and turned a page in her book. "Not very high. I think." He gave her a blank stare.  "Let's see the bright side, we will be damned for all eternity together." Corey smiled sweetly at his husband. Not that it helped Mason for that matter but Liam appreciated the sentiment. 

Ever now got to her feet, well tried to, but stumbled. Liam tried to grab her which in turn led to him pulling at Theo, Theo got dragged and dragged Brett with him, and to make things short, the whole pack stumbled a few steps to the left. Liam winced. "Sorry, guys!" "Is alright, alright. Just get it on with. I can't feel my hands from restricted blood flow", Maya complained.  "Okay. So, Liam, give me the other end of the rope, I have my end here. Yeah, just let me grab them both with my free hand, that should work." "Great, let's move even closer together", Mike mumbled but when their Alpha moved they all had no other choice and kind of huddled together. Again, glad no neighbor could see them.  Ever meanwhile exhaled loudly when she managed to get a hold of both ends. She looked up at the sky. It was already early evening but the spell had not been stated a specific time to get cast so she took some liberty with it. "I need you all to be quiet right now, okay? I need to concentrate. As I said, never worked such a spell before." "Ever, please don't take this the wrong way but that's not very comforting", Lori whispered and made a face when the rope cut into her upper arm.  "I know, I know. Okay, I'm starting now. Sorry for the inconvenience, guys."  "It's alright. If anybody's to blame it's me. I wanted you to cast such a spell." Liam would not let her feel guilty for an order of his.  She gave him a soft smile and then looked back down at the book.  Then she cleared her throat.  "I'm calling to all good spirits out of sight, protect this home with all your might. Ancestors, ancient and old, ban the evils beings as you're told. As long as this rope is buried in the ground, keep our home safe and sound. Today we put a barrier in place for no foes to ever set a foot across."  She held both ends of the rope up as good as she could and without making her fellow pack members fall over.  "Protect this pack and all they hold dear, but don't let anybody sinister come near. Ancestors, spirits, I'm calling out to you."

She fell silent and they waited. Maybe for the wind to pick up, maybe for thunder or some other sign Ever's call had been answered but nada. Nothing happened.  "Dammit!" Ever dropped one end of the rope and fiddled with the other one. "I was so sure it would work!" "Maybe it did work!" Liam hurried to console her while he also untied himself from the rope. "I think I saw the rope shimmering a little bit." "It did? I saw nothing", Theo muttered and gasped in the next moment when Liam's elbow collided with his stomach. "I mean, yeah, it shimmered. I thought you said something about the wind." He glared at his mate but Liam ignored him.  "I am sure it worked, Ever. Just bury the rope and I'm sure it will do what it's supposed to do." Corey tried his best to make her feel better about this and gave her an affirmative smile. He believed in her.  "No, I don't think it did anything. I mean, we can still bury the rope but I think I failed you guys. I just have so much to learn and can't be the witch this pack deserves." Ever was still insanely frustrated and started cutting the rope in pieces after every member had been untied.  "Don't say that, Ever! You are awesome and already so strong!" Nolan also tried to reassure her. "I'll help you bury the pieces", Caden offered to his girlfriend and grabbed a shovel. "You will see, it works wonders once the first threat rolls around." And with other words of encouragement, the couple moved away from the group to bury all pieces of rope around the property. Brett trailed behind them shortly later, after he claimed that if two dug holes it would be way faster.  Liam looked around and caught Mason's glance. "Do you really think it worked?" His best friend asked and Liam shrugged.  "How the hell am I supposed to know that? I think I want to believe it did because after everything we've been through we deserve good nights of sleep knowing we are protected from things like hyenas and other critters. But I have no idea how to prove it worked. Guess we have to just believe." "Like fairies?" Mason joked and Liam huffed. "Fairies. are. real."

They walked inside with the others, it was time to start dinner anyway and then they would probably spend the night watching a movie or something. They liked to do it as a pack, as long as they could settle on something to watch. That alone took some time.  Sadie and Lori jumped in the kitchen with Liam and helped him prepare the food. Since they moved into the new house, Liam had noticed he was never alone when he cooked. At least one Beta hung around, even if they did not help because Liam didn't necessarily need help, they talked with their Alpha. It had somehow become a nice little habit of the whole pack to unwind and recap their day. It felt nice, Liam would always admit to that. After everything, they've grown closer. 

It went on for a while, the other members mingled around, watched tv, or talked quietly; Brett, Ever, and Caden joined in the living room after they were done burying every single piece of rope; a nice relaxed atmosphere in the house.

 Once dinner was ready they all gathered around the big table and sat down to indulge.  "It's fantastic as always!" Tim praised and wolfed down yet another fork of his food.  "All thanks to Lori and Sadie, they helped a great deal", Liam praised the two women and they smiled proudly. 

But suddenly Lori glanced outside and screamed on top of her lungs. Her fork fell on the carpet but she didn't even bother to pick it up, too busy slamming both hands over her mouth in shock. "There's something in the garden", she whispered.  Liam spun around. The scream had made him jump from his seat but since his back had faced the windows, he didn't see anything. It was already darker outside, not pitch black but already evening, yet he didn't need werewolf vision to see wraithlike white things wavering in their garden.  "What the fuck is that?" Mason exclaimed what probably everybody was thinking at this very moment.  "We will soon find out." Liam stormed over to the patio door. A loud sound from a chair scraping over the floor sounded up behind him and he heard Theo's fast footsteps following. "Thought we had a deal about you barging headfirst into potential danger alone!" His mate scolded him when Liam flung the door open.

He took a sharp breath.

The white hazy things in their backyard were humans or, to be more specific, humans with translucent skin and a white glow surrounding them. Also, they barely touched the ground and seemed to float. And the garden of the pack house was full of them.  Big, small, women, men, older and younger-looking, some in antiquated clothing, others more modern. Some swirled around the garden, others stood still and looked at the house, others talked quietly.  "Excuse my french, but what the fuck???" Caden exclaimed, utterly overwhelmed by the display in front of them. He, like all other Betas, had followed the Alpha couple and now they stood on the patio and stared.  "I second that", Liam muttered. Theo grabbed his arm, probably to keep him from moving any closer, and Liam was kind of happy about that. He was unsure how to pursue, what to do. What were those things?

"Uhm, hello?" His voice was shaky but who could blame him? "Excuse me? White floating thingies?"

Most of them turned their heads towards them and then they all hurried over. Liam felt himself stretching out both arms to keep his Betas behind him. It was a reflex, he wanted to protect his pack. Even Theo though he stubbornly refused to leave his side and this time, Liam let it slide. He stared at the things coming closer and closer until they all gathered in front of the porch. Suddenly he spotted a tall man with short hair, dressed in a fringed jacket and cowboy boots.  "Hey, I know you. I mean, I saw a picture of you and Byron once. You're the Alpha before Byron!" "I am, I am." The man nodded and smiled brightly. His voice had a soft touch and you could almost hear a chuckle in it. He seemed like a sunny character. A woman with curly hair and in a dress full of flowers nodded proudly. "The best successor I could have ever asked for!" Her voice boomed, determined and strong. Despite this Liam could still not make sense of what was happening. "Wait! Are you guys ghosts?" "We surely are!" A lanky woman dressed in a high-necked dress and with pinned-up hair nodded. Her voice was a bit shriller and she reminded Liam of a teacher. Or one of those etiquette experts. "You called upon us if I recount correctly." "Well, she did." The curly-haired woman pointed at Ever. "Ever," Liam faced her, voice zealously calm, "what did you do?" "I didn't do anything!" She shook her head. "I mean, I cast a spell but I surely didn't call ghosts into our garden! "I guess, I can explain this." Another woman pushed through the group to get in front of them. She was young, not more than thirty, and wore a soft flowing dress and sandals. Her long hair was tied in a soft ponytail and despite her ghostly appearance, she looked friendly and as she belonged there. Her melodic voice only added to this. She looked at all of them but then returned her glace to Ever. "You don't have to be afraid, your spell worked exactly as you intended to. You called upon the ancestors and spirits to protect the pack and the home. So, here we are." "Wait!" Theo shook his head. "Stop and rewind: Just because Ever cast a protection spell for our home, you guys will from now on be hanging around in our garden?" "We will appear when there is danger, just like the spell asked us to do. But we're always there, in spirit, if you need us. We just appeared now because we needed to manifest once and see what we're actually protecting. The rules of the other side are complicated", the young woman explained again.  "You don't need to fear us, we pose as no danger to you. You are our pack, we will protect you. And shall the day come you die, we will welcome you to the other side with open arms", Byron's predecessor added to the conversation.  Mason still had a hard time wrapping his head around that. "It's just, I only know one person able to see ghosts and she's a banshee." "You can see us because the spell connected us and called upon us. You all were bound together by the rope so the magic transferred to all of you. That is what pack magic is about", the etiquette expert corrected.  "It's a very powerful spell and you executed it perfectly." Ever's face lit up at the praise from the curly-haired woman. "Despite, why are you all acting surprised about ghosts? This one gets saved by Mckenna's wolf regularly." She jabbed her thumb in direction of Liam before looking over her shoulder. And there Mckenna stood in person (well in ghost) and nodded with a genuine smile on her face. Liam had seen her before but seeing her here with all the other ghosts seemed kind of surreal. He smiled shyly.  "So, you all are former Alphas?" Corey inquired. "Former pack members from all eras. I'm a former shaman. My name is Bea", the woman who had explained Ever's spell introduced herself.  "Ghosts are real, I still can't fully believe it. And yeah, I've lived in Beacon Hills, don't even start with me, but yeah. It's crazy." Nolan shook his head and sat down in a chair.  "There are good and bad ghosts, just like there are good and bad werewolves and other beings. But we all are real." "Can we call upon you and ask you questions? That would really help us sometimes." Mason had switched into full research mode and wanted more information. Unfortunately, the ghosts shook their heads.  "After tonight, we will disappear and only come when danger arises. But be assured, we are around, you just cannot see us. Sometimes the veil between the worlds thins but it never falls completely. Unless there is a disruption." A lot to take in. Ghosts were real and Liam had known this before but now he felt like he was in the Mulan Disney movie and he watched Mushu argue with the ancestors. Was he reassured now? Yes. They were safe because he believed it when the ghosts told them so. They all were one pack, alive or dead, and they all provided protection for one another.  On the other hand, it made him realize there was still so much about the world of the supernatural he had no idea about. And he didn't expect Ever's spell to have this effect. But those were old pack mates, some of them were even Alphas and Liam wanted to ask questions. A lot of questions. He had the Alpha journal and he read it but having a talk face to face was something entirely different. He wanted to talk to Mckenna since he seemed to have some similarities with her. Maybe Byron's predecessor could give him some advice as well?

"It's the time!" Bea announced and the ghosts formed a circle around the whole house. Well, Liam guessed it was around the whole house, he could not see all of them anymore but they stood there in line, holding hands, creating the barrier no foe was supposed to cross. "Oh, you already have to leave?" He asked disappointedly.  "We are not able to manifest the whole night. For the spell to work, we now have to form the barrier", the curly-haired woman explained and just dropped the hand of Byron's predecessor to give him a thumbs up. "You will be fine." "Byron made the right call with you. Good choice", the man praised him. Liam smiled weakly. "Yeah? I'm still so young and have so much to learn." "You're growing, as a person and as an Alpha, that's the important part. Because you want to. Just some words of advice, don't forget you are a person as well. Don't be always just there for the pack. Be a little selfish every now and then. It's a good thing and recharges your energy." Liam huffed out a laugh. "It's hard sometimes. Easier said than done." "If it would be easy, son, everybody would be an Alpha." Liam shrugged. "I think becoming an Alpha is easy if you're coldblooded enough. So I'm not sure if this is helpful." "Becoming an Alpha may be easy but not everybody is cut out to be one. Don't forget that, son." The ghosts gave the living pack members one last smile and then they slowly faded away until nothing showed they ever were there before. 

"That's some crazy shit", Mike put it into words.  Corey scoffed. "Moments like this make me realize how bad Beacon Hills fucked us up. For real." "What do you mean?" Maya asked with a frown.  "Beacon Hills had some good moments, yeah, but mostly it was all danger and dying and people being afraid, another danger lurking, people hunting everything left and right, things trying to kill you, dying once more. If you only experienced those things, believing in good supernatural things gets hard." Liam sat down on the steps leading from the deck to the garden. "It's normal, I think. Not really your fault. Besides, I also didn't expect actual ghosts to show up after Ever's spell. Ever? Did you think that would happen?" She squeaked. "No! Hard no! Like, I honestly thought the spell did nothing. It doesn't even say anything about ghosts in the book." "That woman said the spell was powerful and you executed it perfectly. So, congrats I guess." Mike patted her shoulder. Ever blushed and fiddled with the seam of her shirt. "I think it's you, guys. Witches get stronger when they're in a coven. Or, as in this case, in a pack. Your energy helps my magic." "This pack is quite good at this. Helping each other." Theo sat also on the steps and stretched out his legs while he leaned against the banister. "And to get back at what Corey said, maybe we have to unlearn the bad experiences. Be more open about good supernatural happenings. I myself am I cynical bastard but I have to admit even I start to think some magical fairytales might be true. Even fairies." "What?" Liam could not believe his ears and laughed. "I finally convinced you to entertain the idea of fairies?" "Maybe." Theo didn't want to set his mind yet. "We already have ghosts in our backyard. What's next? Nymphs?" "Don't make fun of nymphs, they might hear you", Sadie warned him. 

****** Liam scurried through the streets, head ducked in a failed attempt to keep a little bit of his body dry. He had been out in the city running some errands when the skies opened and a summer rainstorm went down. Like, seriously, Liam was sure some streets had turned into rivers that much water was cascading down.  The rain made even his heightened senses useless since Liam could barely see past the grey curtain of water all around him. He just needed to get to his car and drive home. If he could drive in this weather, that's it. But just sitting in a dry environment would be great at this point. He was already soaked but would still feel better. 

Liam turned the corner of a street and hastened into a less busy road, hoping he had found a shortcut to his car. But just a few more steps forward and Liam tackled something solid. He lost his footing on the slippery ground and crashed down with what he now realized was a customer stopper.  "Shit, shit, shit! Oh, fuck, sorry!" He apologized to the unmoving object and quickly got up from the ground to set up the stopper again. A door to his right opened.  "Oh my, darling, have you hurt yourself? Geez, you're all wet. Why don't you come inside? I have towels there and you can check if you suffered any injuries", a soft female voice called out to him. Liam glanced up. The voice belonged to what he supposed was the owner or the cashier of the store the customer stopper belonged to. She was holding an umbrella to save herself from the rain which she now also held over Liam to shield him from the weather. He caught a whiff of chocolate and cinnamon from her and an even stronger scent of sweetness and chocolate from the open store door. The lights were turned on inside the store and altogether is was far more appealing than continuing to run through this downpour.  "I am sorry about your customer stopper, Madam", he politely said. Ilona had raised nothing but a polite young man and she would hunt him for forever if he was rude to kind strangers.  "It's alright, please don't worry. Nothing that can't be repaired if any. We will take a look at it once the rain stopped. Now, come inside, honey, you must be freezing. It's summer but it's not good to be that soaked." She ushered him inside and Liam leaned the stopper against the store window before he followed her. 

The smell of chocolate and all things sweet was even stronger inside and he inhaled deeply. It smelled wonderful in here. Suddenly, he was a little kid again and his mother baked cookies on a Sunday. The whole house had smelled afterward and those Sundays were one of his favorite memories. The world had been perfectly fine on those Sundays.  "I don't have fresh pants but I have some old shirt here from one of our promotions? Maybe you want to try it on? Here is a towel." She pushed the towel into his arms before she closed the door and put her umbrella in a small stand next to the door.  "Thank you but it's alright. I don't get sick that easily." Liam ran the towel through his hair and over his face. When he lowered the towel he got the first good view of the nice woman. She was smaller than him, maybe 5' 6", with big grey streaks in her otherwise dark hair, framing her round face and dark brown eyes. Liam would have guessed her in her fifties but he was not that good with ages so he better kept his mouth shut. But he liked the summer dress she wore with little birds all over it in different colors.  "Would you care for some tea, darling? I know it's warm outside but maybe it helps with the coolness? You must be freezing. Or a hot chocolate?" "No, please, I don't want to be an inconvenience. You're already so nice to invite me into your store after I ran over your customer stopper." "Oh, that old thing, don't mention it. Nothing materialistic is irreplaceable. If you want to change your shirt, there is a curtain in front of our back office." She shooed him in the direction and since his own shirt was sticking to his body, Liam gratefully took the suggestion. 

The back office was just a small room with a desk, computer, and shelves filled with folders and papers. Nothing unusual but he still hurried to change and then join her in front of the store again. 

Only when he pushed back the curtain and stepped behind the register again, Liam took a look at the store. Two floors and shelves made from high-polished wood filled with all kinds of candy and sweets. Lollipops, gummy bears, cookies, filled chocolates, Liam had found his own personal dreamland. Mouthwatering displays of sweets Liam didn't even know but he wanted to try everything. No wonder the woman and her store smelled so good.  "Is this a candy store? A real one?" She giggled. "It is. I'm the fifth-generation owner, my family is very proud of this little nook. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Ellie. Well, actually Maybell but everyone calls me Ellie." "I'm Liam. Nice to meet you." He reached out to shake her hand and she beamed at him.  "You members of the Morning Dew Pack are always so nice, I can only agree with others saying that." He was surprised. "You know the Morning Dew Pack? And how do you know I belong to them?" She pointed at his necklace hanging over the shirt she gave him. Liam reached up and touched the little pendant.  "I recognized the symbol. Also, I was once on vacation at the lake. Incredibly nice people. Oh, and the magical community is full of gossipers. I heard you got a new Alpha. Are they nice? Heard they're young." "Yeah. The Alpha is me. I'm the Alpha", Liam revealed slowly.  Ellie's eyes sparkled and she clasped her hands together. "Oh, how wonderful. Such a polite Alpha for such a polite pack. A marvelous match." Liam was a bit slow to take everything in. "Wait, you said the magical community is full of gossipers. What are you? You're not a werewolf, are you?" Ellie shook her head with a laugh. "I'm an elf." Both of his eyebrows shot towards his hairline. "Elf as in Christmas elf?" "Those are our cousins." "Seriously?" Liam had to laugh. He could not fully believe that. "Is that a joke?" "No."  She wiggled her fingers and silver glitter started dancing around the air and floated around. A small magic trick but Liam liked it and it convinced him.  "I'm sorry. I'm just not good with all those types of supernatural beings. Evil ones I know a few but when it comes to other beings I barely have any knowledge. There weren't that many in Beacon Hills." "Beacon Hills? That means Scott McCall, the True Alpha, right? Wait, does that make you Liam Dunbar? The Beta?" And again Liam was surprised. "You know who I am? Why?" "As I said, gossip. The first bitten Beta of a True Alpha is worth a word or two. And now you're an Alpha yourself, quite a career."  "How should I picture this? Do you guys have a newsletter or a magazine?  How did you hear from Scott?" "You know, the spirit tells the witch, the witch tells the nymph, nymphs love to gossip and they tell the gnomes and pixies and elves. It gets around. Obviously rarely in Beacon Hills. A horrible, horrible place."  "Why?" Liam tilted his head.  Ellie sighed. "Powerful magical mediums as the Nementon create a pull of power for all kinds of beings. But us good magical beings, we feel the darkness in this power and it sucks the life out of us. Take us elves. We love to make people happy so we stick to happy places. We work in all kinds of professions, my race brought up the best clowns in history, wherever we can make people happy. The only thing the people need is a good heart. The energy of the Nementon can cloud those good hearts and we are not strong enough to break the spell. Hence why we avoid such places. No offense." "None taken." Liam shook his head. "But back to the topic ahead, I wasn't aware people know about me. I mean, I'm just me. Liam. Nothing too special. I don't even have that much experience. Don't know what you can gossip about that." Ellie reached out and poked the tip of his nose. "It's not what you have that determines who you are, but what you do with what you have. The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have. Vince Lombardi. Nobody knows everything but you don't need to if you make good decisions. Need to utilize what you already got and make the best of it. I know a bit of your pack so I am positive if they made you the new Alpha, you are making good decisions."

Maybe she was right, Liam needed one look at his pack to know he made the right decision. But he also doubted himself sometimes. Maybe this was normal. "Thanks, Ellie", he still said gratefully. After all, she was nice to him. And then another question came to mind: "Do fairies exist as well?" "Never met one but sure. They're small, barely able to be seen with the naked eye. You can mostly encounter them in gardens or forests. They enjoy beautiful flowers and juicy fruits." "Can I call my best friend and you tell him that too? Mason will love you. You're like a walking lexicon of good magical beings." Liam was in awe. Ellie laughed.  "I'll do my best. You can bring all your friends here. I like making people happy with my candy. Want some?" She opened a jar of toffees and held it for Liam to take from it. He kindly accepted and grabbed one. Once he tasted it, he groaned. Such a creamy, delicious taste. "Oh, Ellie, they're amazing. Did you make them yourself?" She happily nodded. "All of the candy you see here is made by me and my husband. It goes perfectly with the elves' need to make people happy and our candy-making skill. Why not use it to bring joy into the world?" "I love candy. If I weren't a werewolf, I probably would be round as a ball."  She laughed again. "Say, Liam, do you have a job? I'm currently looking for help for the store but never found somebody whose love for candy can rival mine. Would you be interested?" "Uhm." Liam had not seen that coming. "I'm a college student but looking for a job on the side. So yeah, I'd like to work for you." "Wonderful. We can work out all the details now if you want. I'm happy." 

****** Liam closed the door behind him and carried his loot in the kitchen. He had spent time with Ellie and helped her in the shop until the rainstorm passed and then she had insisted he left the store with a huge bag filled with basically every type of candy in the store. For him and his Betas to enjoy. Liam already knew which one Theo would like the best.

Theo was coincidentally the first he encountered in the kitchen. He looked up from his phone. "What you got there?" "Candy. Catch!" Liam pushed his hand in the bag and pulled out some licorice stick. "I have a new job at a candy store." Theo caught the candy Liam tossed him and unwrapped it. He took a bite. "A new job at a candy store? How did that happen? Uh, that once's nice. Is that coffee?" "Thought you might like it." Liam grabbed a bowl and poured everything from the bag inside. "And you won't believe what the owner is." 

He launched himself into telling Theo the whole story. Mason walked into the kitchen at one point and listened to his best friend while munching on some peppermint candy.  "And seemingly the magical world knows about Scott and Beacon Hills and the pack, I don't know. I cannot help myself but imagine the newspaper from Harry Potter so everybody knows what the talk is about. But how surreal is that? Elves, real elves." "Is she tiny?" Mason asked. "Smaller than me. Not much tho. Why?"  "Aren't elves generally quite small? Anyway, I have to meet this woman. She can tell me so much and I can add it to the Bestiary. Kind of telling only dark beings exist in this book." "Maybe because it's called Bestiary? Maybe a book about good ones is called...I don't know....Lightiary?" Theo suggested and grabbed another licorice stick.  "Smartass. I think this is really interesting. Even more to know why so many good beings avoid Beacon Hills. Can you imagine there are more of those mediums in the world and no good one comes near them?" "There were good ones there, in Beacon Hills. Us for example", Liam added for consideration and unwrapped a chocolate bonbon.  "You were already there, that doesn't count", Mason deflected. "Theo also came back to Beacon Hills, just to name one example." "Why do I have to be the example? You're right but why? I didn't do anything now." "If you had not come back to Beacon Hills, you wouldn't have met Liam and you both wouldn't have this against all odds romance." "Says the one already being married", Liam mumbled. 

Caden rushed into the kitchen. "LIAM! We need you!" "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Caden hummed. "Not really. I mean, no, I'm not hurt. Tim, however, is...not hurt...You have to see for yourself. Just come with me." 

The three men in the kitchen gave each other a look but then followed Caden outside. He led them down the stairs and over the grass towards the beginning of the woods. Sadie stood there, one arm crossed and the other hand under the chin.  "Looks like Liam was actually right." Maya next to her also had her arms crossed. "Yeah, but why Tim? What did he do?" "I think I stepped on one of them. I am sorry! Ouch! That stings!" Tim wailed.  Liam stepped next to Maya and found Tim on the ground and a shiny pink orb in front of his face while three other orbs in green, orange, and yellow floated around him. The one in front of him flew back and forth and when it collided with Tim's nose he once again complained about stinging.  "What the fuck is going on here? And really, I hear this question quite often this week in our garden."

The orb from Tim's face floated upwards towards Liam and now hovered in front of him. So close Liam could see the tiny chubby man with fluttering wings, in a noble robe and with a tiny crown on his head. His eyes were roundly shaped but right now squinted shut in an angry grimace and he stared at Liam while furiously waving a tiny sword. To be honest, Liam was afraid he would cut off his bulbous nose with it. 

"I am Peridot Tulipfly, the king of this proud tribe of fairies. How dare you intrude in our territory? Just because you're bigger? I will show you bigger! Are you their king? I challenge you to a duel."  "Jesus fucking Christ!" Mason mumbled behind Liam. "Lee, I don't know what you're doing this week but you're a magnet for magical beings. Seriously." "Look how tiny they are", Sadie said in awe. "I am so sorry we didn't believe you, Liam." "Liam, is this your name? Liam, be a man and fight me!" Peridot Tulipfly screamed and his voice became hysterically high. Frankly, Liam was now afraid he would explode in sheer rage. Or swallow his tongue.  "Listen, your highness? Is that the correct way? Anyway, your highness, I think there is a mistake. My friends and I were not intruding anywhere." "Lies and slander!!! We have your subordinate. You want him to live, you will best me in combat! Or are you a coward?? Shall I find victory over you because you refuse to battle me?" "Hey, nobody battles him! You're so tiny, I could crush you with one hand!" Theo snapped. Liam loved his boyfriend but that probably was not the best way. Peridot now started screaming even louder and called them all kinds of nasty things. But then again, Liam had never been called a cow stealing weed before, so there's that. 

He rubbed his nose when the king's tiny sword poked it. "Hey! Watch it, that can hurt people!" Peridot lunged forward again but then an angry voice from the woods reached them. "Peridot Ingenius Tulipfly, I can't believe you! How dare you pestering those lovely, lovely people!" A pale blue orb shot towards them and stopped between Liam and Peridot. A female fairy also in a noble robe and tiny crown but her hair was in a long braided ponytail and she was thinner than the king.  "But, honeydrop, they intruded in our territory. I had to challenge him to a duel." Perditot sounded not as angry as before, more a little contritely.  "THOSE NICE PEOPLE ARE LEAVING FRUITS FOR US AND YOU WANT TO FIGHT THEM!!! HOW DARE YOU??? I CANNOT LEAVE YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT OR YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT THEY COULD DO TO US??? HOW DISRESPECTFUL!! THOSE ARE OUR NEIGHBORS!!!" She was now full-on yelling at her husband and he ducked his head in shame.  "I didn't know that, honeydrop. I thought they wanted to attack." "WELL, NEXT TIME YOU THINK TELL ME SO I CAN TELL YOU TO STOP THINKING!" She turned to face Liam. Her face was small and her nose quite petite. She smiled. "I have to apologize for my imbecile husband. He can be hot-headed and get irritated, I hope you don't mind. You were not intruding in our territory, don't listen to a word he says. I am Mari Tulipfly and I hope you can forgive us for this ridiculous display. We are a nice, peaceful tribe. Most of the time." She gave her husband a sharp glare. "Honeydrop, I am sorry." "YOU SHOULD BE SORRY! TELL THAT THEM!!!" She pointed at Liam and his pack. Maya had helped Tim to his feet again and the king slowly flew over to him.  "I deeply apologize for my mistake. As a king, I have to protect, and maybe I did a mistake." "Maybe??" Mari shrieked and Peridot shuddered. "I sure made a mistake but I'm owning up to it. Here, take my sword as a sign of my apology." "Oh, no, that's fine. I don't need your sword." Tim shook his head. "I'm not a swords kind of guy." Peridot floated to Liam. "And you take my crown to show you my apologies. I promise it will never happen again." "Keep your crown. You actually helped me tonight. So, you're fairies? Some of my friends didn't want to believe you're real but I knew it. So you kind of proved my point. I have to say thank you." Mari floated up to him again and bowed mid-air. "You are too kind. I promise something like this will never happen again. We live in the woods near your garden and sometimes like to float around. I understand if you ban us from there." "No no, don't worry. Nobody was hurt, I think we can chalk it up to a simple mistake." Liam really didn't want to banish the fairies. They were kind of cute. And they genuinely seemed sorry.  "You are a very noble man. Mind telling me your name?" The queen asked curiously. "I'm Liam. These are Theo, Mason, Caden, Sadie, Maya, and Tim. We're part of a werewolf pack living in this house. I'm the one always leaving fruit out for you. You're welcome to still get it." Mari poked her husband between his rips. "See? This is how you solve conflicts. Not with a sword and without talking." "I know, honeydrop, I know." He really seemed ashamed and Liam felt sorry for him. He held out his index finger. "From one leader to the other, peace? You are welcome to visit our territory and we are welcome to visit your territory. What do you say?" Peridot grabbed the tip of his finger with both hands and tried to shake it. Since he was so tiny, he moved up and down but Liam's finger stayed in place. Until Liam moved it himself. "Should you ever need us, just sent a messenger and we will know. We will come to your aid as you are now friends of our tribe. Thus shall it be!" Peridot declared solemnly.  His wife sighed and then bid them goodbye before she dragged her husband back to the woods, followed by the other orbs. 

"Ghosts, elves, fairies. If we keep that speed up, I don't know how Mason will manage to archive anything in the Bestiary" Theo said. "Wait, when did we meet an elf?" Maya asked confused. "We didn't, Liam did." And Liam was prompted to tell them all the story again on how he met Ellie.  "Maybe it's some sort of law of attraction. We're in a good spot after the hardships now so maybe we attract good things?" Tim pondered.  Liam had the same train of thoughts. "I'm done with demons, crazy witches, or brutal Alphas. So if I can choose between those and some combative fairies, I'll take the fairies any day", he confessed. "Those I can handle and they don't hurt anyone. There's some of Ellie's candy in the kitchen. Take some if you want."

His Betas hurried away, only Theo stayed back with him.  "You're worried those good times won't last, right?" Theo knew Liam so it was more fact than a question. He pushed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and waited for Liam to answer still.  "I want us to enjoy our lives. But yeah, maybe Beacon Hills did fuck me up as well in this regard but I don't think the good times will last forever. So we should make the most of it. I am reassured we are protected by this ghostly barrier and it's kind of nice to know there are good fairies and elves around but the worry will probably never go away. I had it even before I became an Alpha", Liam confessed.  Theo put his arm around Liam's shoulders. "Whatever happens, we will take it as a pack. Maybe Tim's right, right now only good things are happening and we all deserve this. And us from Beacon Hills, we have some credit in the Karma bank as well." Liam laughed. "I guess you could say that." "It will be fine, Liam. Worry is good, it stops you from being careless. Just don't worry too much, okay?" "Promise. I just want some peace after a year where everything crazy happened. Right now, this is nice." "It is." Theo pulled him in and kissed him gently. Liam wrapped his arms around Theo's waist and returned the kiss. 

[pettyprocrastination]

Hell is a Nine to Five Max Philips x Reader

Summary: Max Philips is your new boss at your hellscape of a job. He can’t help but be drawn to you and when he learns your lineage and last name (Harker) he fears this may put a dwindle on his plans. But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to ask you out though,,,right?

Chapter summary: Max doesn’t show up until next chapter this one is just set up about your place in the office environment. And for those who don’t know her last name is Harker as in Jonathan Harker from dracula. Don’t worry future chapters will be full of that sweet sweet tension and yearning. 

@ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ this legend has fucking iconic writing and got me to watch bloodsucking bastards and HERE I AM. Please check out their stuff yall holy shit. 

“Yo Harker!”

Your eyes flicked away from your computer screen just in time to see your grinning blonde coworker push himself over to you in his cubicle chair with a flourish. “Mike is kicking my ass this round and I know somewhere under all that nerd there is a girl who loves video games, tap in?” He pointed to his own cubicle, his computer screen flashing with some video game that he and 90% other men on the floor were constantly playing. You knew this because no matter how loud your sales call was, you can always hear him scream profanities in agony when he inevitably gets killed by some other dumbass who should also be doing his job instead of playing video games like a fifteen year old with a rattail.

You feigned interest for a moment, before your focus went back to your screen, fingers tapping away on the too-damn-old-and-fucking-sticky-to-properly-work keyboard so you can finish this report that Mike was suppose to have done...Yesterday. 

“Hard pass.”

“Oh come on!” Tim pushed his chair closer to you so he could slump his head on your shoulder, but you remained focused on the task at hand. The task being doing your goddamn job which nobody on that floor seemed to do. “I've got to piss like a racehorse but if I drop this round I owe him fifty bucks!”

Okay. That got your attention. 

“Where the hell did you get fifty bucks?” You pushed yourself away from your tiny desk for a moment, wheely chair spinning to face him. “I know for a fact that not even ten fucking minutes ago you asked Evan if he could spot you a twenty so you could pay Dave for the NBA pool that you always lose.”

Tim opened his mouth for a moment before closing it with a huff. “You fucking suck, you know that Harker?”

“Love you too Tim.”

That’s how your work days went. 

Spend hours on end stuck in a windowless room, hunched over a computer from the fucking 90’s, doing not only your work, but the work of 70% of your coworkers who are too busy playing video games, gossiping, or watching porn to even pretend like they're doing their job. Occasionally Tim would try to pull you away to tag in for him on his video games, rate the new interns, or make fun of Evan during your lunch break.

Speaking of which. 

The fluorescent lighting wasn’t any less nauseating in the breakroom, but it offered you a slightly lower volume of the endless ringing of phones, piss poor marketing tactics used by your coworkers to convince people to buy whatever dogshit product you had to push for the week, and the oh-so-obnoxious shouts of Mike, who’s main purpose in life was to bully nine-year-olds who he played video games with. 

“That’s right you fucking pussy! I’m the king!”

Keyword: slightly lower volume. 

“All I’m saying is that you're one of the smartest people here.” Tim plunked himself down in the plastic chair to your right, while Andrew sat on your left. “You’re always doing work-”

“Because I’m at work.”

“-you can type without looking at your hands-”

“Really not that complicated of a skill but okay.”

“-And you're not easily distracted!”

“Because nothing in this hellhole is worth my attention.” You mumbled into your sandwich, which was then flung out of your grasp and onto the floor as Tim slapped you on the back with what you assumed was supposed to be gusto.

Five second rule maybe?

“Which is exactly why you-oh my bad sorry- but that is why you should team up with me and Andrew to kick Mike’s pimply ass!”

Andrew’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Dude. I agree with you but I could do without the description.”

You stood up to retrieve your fallen turkey on rye. Looks like you're going without lunch today “Yeah, I second that notion.”

“Listen I just think-”

Evan, your lanky acting sales manager walked into the breakroom with purpose, and coincidentally, right onto your lunch.

Yup. Definitely no saving that. 

“Hey Tim, have you started on the Phallicite presentation yet?”

Tim froze, stroking his chin in fake thought before letting out a sharp laugh “Yeah no.” Evan threw his head back and groaned. “Sorry buddy.”

“Come on man! Could you please, just this once-”

“I already did it.” You cut in, Evan turning to you, bagged eyes wide. 

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

He blinked twice, then again before his mouth hung open.“Like..like the WHOLE presentation? All on your own?” 

You shrugged, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot in front of him as you waited for him to take his foot off your fucking sandwich. “Yeah. stayed overnight yesterday because I knew damn well Tim wasn’t gonna do it-”

“Rude but fair deduction Hark.”

“-so I pieced something together. I emailed it to you ten minutes ago. Now all you have to do is nail the actual presenting part.”

Relief washed over your not-acting-sales-manager-but-still-kind-of-sales-manager’s face. “Oh thank you so much Harker, really. That means a lot. If we land this then-”

Enough was enough.

“You're standing on my sandwich.”

“What?” Evan looked down at his feet and winced at the site of your squashed lunch under his shoe. “Shit. Sorry Harker.”

You gave your food one last wistful glance before shrugging. “It’s fine. My break is almost over anyway.”

“Harker.” Mike snorted. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only goddamn person who adheres to a timed lunch schedule. Just stay over! Who the fuck cares?”

You stuffed your water bottle back into the fridge before standing up straight. “This job may suck ass, but it’s the only one I have and I don’t feel like losing it. So I do what I can to keep it.”

You turned on your heel, their voices dying as you walked back to your desk. As you sat down, the hairs on your neck seemed to stand and a prickle went down your spine, you turned around to see if anything was out of the ordinary. 

Coworkers not doing their job? Check. 

Interns being taken advantage of? Check. 

Broken clocks still broken because it keeps employees from constantly seeing if it’s time to leave? Double check. 

You pushed your paranoia away and answered a sales call, though the feeling never truly left you until the work day was over and you were driving out of the parking lot. 

Notes: Anywhomst chapter one is just set up of your place in the work place, as well as relationship to the other characters. In future chapters their will be plenty of interaction between you and max, as well as a deeper look into your family line! Please don’t hesitate to send me reuquests and headcanons i need some fuckin interaction lmao

[thesaintofpatience]

Should you fight this character (Archive Squad Edition)

Jonathan Sims: Well, everyone else has. And I can see why you’d want to! He’s a small, prickly man with a small, prickly face and he will absolutely insult you ten times before breakfast before asking for favours or deep dark secrets from you, so I understand the compulsion to ‘do a bit of a Mike Crew’. On the other hand, these days he’s a little less prickly and a little more Apocalyptically Terrifying and so unless you actually want the world to know about your hideously embarrassing vore kink or your AO3 search history or That Thing You Did When You Were Seventeen it’s probably not worth the satisfaction of a quick punch in the kisser. Ask yourself: will it make you feel special? Will it fill the void in your heart to punch a man so thoroughly beaten-down by the world? Will it be worth the Liam Neeson style revenge of one Martin Blackwood? 5/10, initially satisfying, fundamentally not worth it. 

Martin Blackwood: Take a seat. Look at your life. Look at your choices. Look at this jumpered man who is shaped like a friend. Could you fight him? Sure, you could try, but he’ll probably just hug your arms to your sides and talk to you about your problems a bit and you’ll end up feeling better, but empty inside. Maybe he’ll just cry. Maybe he’ll - worse still - just take the punch and say he deserves it. You can’t fight a man who is so absolutely centred on fighting himself. Do you think Martin cares about your violence? Against him? Fighting Martin isn’t worth it because Martin would fight himself if he had the opportunity because he thinks he deserves it (and also because it unquestionably makes you a very, very bad person, you monster) 1/10 because why would you? 

Timothy Stoker: Tim Stoker knows no fear. In the three seconds after you throwing your first punch he will have ascertained your relative strength, whether there’s a chance of this just being foreplay, and your absolute greatest weakness. He’ll spike you through the solar plexus and heelie away without a care. He probably won’t even stop smiling. “Oh, hey, how’s it going - wow, bitey aren’t you, let’s just knock you out there, great chat byeeee!” Now I’m not saying it’s not feasible that you could get the drop on him, and he’s a bit of a bastard sometimes anyway so you might even want to, but Tim stands a better chance of trying to pick somebody up on the dancefloor, slipping on a patch of jaegerbomb and knocking himself out than he does of being knocked out by you. Still. Shoot your shot, I guess - that’s the advice he’d give you. 7/10 depending on sympathetic you are about his backstory. 

Sasha James: Now, look, it’s not that Sasha James is exceptionally strong or exceptionally fast and if you really, really wanted to fight her, you’d probably win. You would! You’d win. Well done you. Off home for a victory march you go. Now watch as your credit-card information disappears and your bank accounts drain overnight. Your broadband bill has tripled but you somehow don’t have any of the packages you want. Your wi-fi has stopped working and your printer keeps printing things that you’re pretty sure you never asked it to print (it’s mainly memes, and that’s Tim’s influence). Sasha will wreck your entire life in an afternoon. And also - why would you want to fight her in the first place? Sasha James has never done anything wrong in her entire life, ever. 3/10, yes you could fight her, but at what cost?

Melanie King: Do Not. Even if you get a few good licks in she will bite off your ears and use your skull as a colander. 0/10

Basira Hussain: You could. But consider for a moment Basira’s absolute ruthless pragmatism. If you pose a danger - to her, to those she holds dear - she will have precisely zero hesitation about burying you twenty foot deep after killing you in a distractingly thorough and practical fashion (can’t come back as an undead monster if she’s buried your lungs in Swindon and your feet in Bournemouth, probably). It probably won’t even ruin her day. You can fight her, die, and it won’t even ruin her day. It might even improve it. It’s nice to get something productive done in the morning while you still feel fresh. 2/10 if Basira doesn’t kill you Daisy sure will.  

Daisy Tonner: There’s a lot of arguments for fighting Daisy (remember that time she stabbed Jon in the throat and made him bury a man lol wild) but the only time you stand a chance of fighting her is when she’s fresh out of the Buried and God, talk about kicking somebody when they’re down. That’s on fighting-Martin level of monstrous, tbh, and you’re bad for thinking about it. The only exception to this rule is if you’re Into being Torn Apart in a Sexy Way and honestly, you might get more than you fucking bargain for. 3/10 sure can understand your motivations, chief, but have you considered maybe not 

Peter Lukas: Ooooh, I’m a big Avatar of the Lonely, I have a ship and a hat and a whistle and I can feed people to my eldritch god oooooh. Peter big (this we know). But Peter doesn’t like confrontation. Peter will not know how to respond to a flurry of fists and fury that isn’t Elias and there’s a pretty good chance that he’ll just run away. Still, if you can corner him, you should absolutely fight him, because Peter needs to be taken down a peg. Sure, you’ll feel like a bit of a bastard because he’ll keep trying to smile that cheerful smile and complimenting your technique as you break his jaw, but you’ve got to look past that and remember what a monster he is. 10/10 fight him and push down your own inevitable guilt. 

Elias Bouchard: Does this even need a score? If there is anybody in the entire Archives you should be fighting, it is this mean. Sure, it’ll cost you some resurfacing of your deep-seated trauma but that’s a small price to pay for the satisfaction of clocking him in the skull with a stapler and hanging him by his silk underwear on a flagpole somewhere. It’s What He Deserves. 99999999/10 this bastard rat man absolutely deserves to be fought. He’ll make out like he’s pleased by this, or that he’s enjoying it, or that it’s all part of his Grand Plan. It isn’t. It is your moral duty to fight Elias and frankly if you’re not already on your way to the Institute I’m shaking my head. 

[soveryanon]

Aaand reviewing time for MAG142.

- I have no idea whether it was a conscious decision or a recording accident, but Jonny’s voice, when reading the episode title… was different – less filtered, closer, with more “grain”? And it was telling you, right away, that something would be off and different.

- VA E. Lockley was… incredible and yeah, the woman’s delivery (the distress, the stuttering, the messiness, the slightly rambly bits)… made her feel even more present and “close” than Helen (in MAG047) for me. Character-with-her-own-situation, who got messed up, who is in distress, who is not fine and is trying not to crumble. There were even a few parallel with her experience (after the Buried encounter) and Jon’s, post-Prentiss, that made her even more heartbreaking: like him, she did physio (MAG050, Tim: “Well, there was a police woman asking after you. You know, the one who came to look into Gertrude. […] Uh… yesterday. You were at physical therapy.”); unlike him, she went to therapy (MAG058, Martin: “Look, look, you just got to let me work through this. Alright? I suggested therapy, but he just says no, so–”) and… like she said, “did everything [she] was supposed to do”:

(MAG142) WOMAN: I had pretty bad, uh, nightmares, claustrophobia, I mean… Obviously, right? But, uh, but–but I did my physio, and, you know, talked wi–with the counsellor they gave me? Look, I did everything I was supposed to, and–and yeah, I… I guess I was fine.

… and everything got utterly ruined because of what Jon did to her, while she doesn’t even have enough knowledge to blame him. But we… we know. It was very important to hear her voice indeed? And Martin handled her with proper care – not doubting for one instant that she was telling the truth, leaving her space to tell her story, validating her, even though the story wasn’t what he wanted to hear… or what we wanted to hear, either. (And because of the content of the story: no, there is no way she could have been written as lying or putting things out of proportions – she even pointed out how the police would treat her, it would be absolutely insensitive to write someone filing a harassment complaint as lying or misinterpreting things. So, everything she told really happened to her in the TMA-verse, even though it’s not a pleasant truth.)

- … yeah, so we have Jon going after “stories”: they’re not “statements” anymore, he didn’t use his markers (“Statement begins/Statement ends”) with Floyd and the woman didn’t make any mention of them either, nor did he give the date and the person doing the recording – we only had an indication about the date thanks to the (meta) episode case. It’s not about archiving, it’s about… consumption. And he’s not receiving the stories either: he’s extorting them, forcing people, instead of them coming to him (as statement-givers coming to the Institute). It’s even more symbolically significant that Daisy went to talk to Martin right after the woman’s departure since… so far, Daisy had been the only person we knew for sure had been forced to give her statement, back in MAG061, as she pointed out to Basira later:

(MAG061) ARCHIVIST: Whatever you like! Fourteen years, you must have seen a number of paranormal things. DAISY: And you want me to tell you about them? ARCHIVIST: I–I… DAISY: Okay. ARCHIVIST: What? DAISY: Okay! I’ll give you a statement, about how I got my first section 31. You look surprised. ARCHIVIST: I mean, I was largely asking as a formality. Basira didn’t give the impression you were the… sharing sort. DAISY: Maybe you caught me in a good mood. […] ARCHIVIST: Right! Thank you! Are you quite alright? DAISY: No. I never told that story to anyone except my old Sergeant. ARCHIVIST: I’m not sure I, uh… DAISY: I should go.

(MAG091) BASIRA: Just let him go. DAISY: You don’t know what he is. You don’t know what it’s like to have your secrets pulled out like teeth, just because he asked?

It had been… softer and subtler, when he had done that – it was striking that Daisy didn’t want to talk, until Jon began to probe and she began to accept (Jon himself had been surprised by the change); the compulsion had only been confirmed by her harsh departure and the way she recalled the events. Meanwhile, the woman, in MAG142, was absolutely preyed upon, cornered, violated, and her voice actor did a fantastic job? But oh Lord, was it so, so hard to listen to, even without factoring in that it was Jon doing that to her. I think we’d never had something this violent and desperate…?

Meanwhile, from Jon’s portrayal in MAG142 (two weeks ago) and what we saw in MAG141, he seems to be getting more… frantic? He waited for a while before interacting with the woman, but he almost jumped on Floyd, although he had just been told they would still be sailing for two days (so they would be stuck on the same boat for a while). And it does… kind of fit with something we know about Jon:

(MAG092) ARCHIVIST: And you can’t just give me all of the statements? ELIAS: Jon, even when you had them all at your disposal, you barely got through one statement a week. Why do you think that is? It takes its toll on you. And I know you’ve had problems with moderation.

… that little problem about “moderation”. (Which was probably tying in with the fact that he used to smoke before the Institute, and has been back to smoking at least by the end of season 2, when he left Leitner to have a cigarette – and he still had cigarettes on him when Daisy went through his stuff in MAG091 and with Gerry in MAG111. Not to mention the whole Web lighter affair, whatever it’s actually doing to him.) It’s also… kinda… relevant… that The Woman in MAG142 described him as being fed through her reopened trauma:

(MAG142) WOMAN: His eyes, like… his eyes, like, we–were… drinking in every fragment of my misery. I can’t… It… [PAUSE] And then it was over. And he looked… he looked at me like he’d just eaten… like, a perfectly cooked steak.

Because Elias had narrated Beholding’s influence on “The Archivist” as creating hunger, precisely:

(MAG120) ELIAS: And at last, the Archivist looks up. At last, he looks into The Eye that sees all, and knows all, and clutches at the secret terrors of your heart. The Ceaseless Watcher of all that is, and all that was; the voracious, infinite hunger that tears at his soul, invoking him to discover, to observe, to experience all and everything and forever.

Fuck you, Beholding.

… and I’ll allow myself One Joke about the whole ordeal, because:

(MAG115) ARCHIVIST: [DEEP SIGH] I suppose in some ways it’s strange I’m not a vegetarian yet, what with everything I know. But… I rather think someone in my position has to take their small pleasures where they can, and if it occasionally delights some grotesque meat-god, well… c’est la vie.

You REALLY should have tried to go vegetarian back then, Jon :/

- … Which makes it a bit curious that he… was described as “tired”, then?

(MAG142) MARTIN: … Ah, uh, alright. Hum… Did he… [SIGH] … Did he look like he hadn’t slept in like– WOMAN: Mm–mm. MARTIN: –a week? WOMAN: Yep, uh… MARTIN: … Right…

Like, obviously, it was… in a dark humour way, hilarious that Martin was able to guess it was Jon with just “someone from your Institute stalking me” and that his way of describing Jon was to point out the lack of sleep – Jon Is A Perpetual Tired Man and this is the man Martin has a crush on. Confirmation that it’s not about physical appearances (Canonically mlm and hot Tim was RIGHT THERE, Martin, and you went for “that”, and we still don’t know why or when it began, but there’s still so much room to shame your tastes.)

But you would think that… if Jon had been going around pulling statements out of (unwilling) people, he would be/look… rested? Well? So: was she the first one? Was Jon trying to avoid his dreams, until he snapped? Is this a matter of “starving” and only going for it when he was too hungry…?

- ;; Jon looked… so one-dimensional in that state? And as Martin said amongst his hypotheses, all “instinct”. Which makes me think about three things, and they’re not happy:

* Mike smelling a prey, actually?

(MAG075, Stephen Walker) “It was as Grant was making his gradual ascent that I saw the man with the scar. He was stood there, just across the street, watching us. […] His pale eyes were entirely focused on Grant making his excruciating way up the ladder. If he noticed me watching him, he gave no sign of it.” (MAG091) MIKE: A… uh, a Paris skyscraper, was it you said? I honestly, I, I can’t say I recall it in detail, but that does… sounds about right. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track.

(DO YOU KEEP TRACK, JON.)

* The whole thing about the Creature Under Alexandria reaching for Sergeant Walter Heller (especially since… Heller might have had a Spooky encounter before meeting it? So was it attracted to that story?) and HUM…

(MAG092) ARCHIVIST: So it’s… it’s back to breadcrumbs, and statements, and risking my life talking to things that barely remember how to be human anymore? […] Am I… Elias, am I still human? ELIAS: Jon, what does human even mean? I mean, really? You still bleed, you can still die. And your will is still your own, mostly. That’s more than can be said for a lot of the “real’ humans out there. … You’re worried about ending up like that thing, lurking in the dirt under the streets of Alexandria? Don’t be. Just do what you need to, and you’ll be fine. Understood?

Elias, why are you so full of lies. (Though it’s possible that, indeed, Jon didn’t do “what he needs to”, and that he’s been… doing extra-work/is out of control. But MMMM. MMMMM.)

* *CRIES IN TIM*

(MAG114) TIM: So, why don’t you “Archivist” me, then? Just pull it straight out. ARCHIVIST: Because I don’t want to! I am not your enemy, Tim. TIM: [DISMISSIVELY] Like that matters! These things aren’t human. It’s… instinct. You can’t not. ARCHIVIST: [SOFTLY] I’m still me, Tim. [TIM HUFFS] I’m still… me. TIM: [EXHALES DEEPLY] … You know what? You’re actually right.

LIKE WOW??? RUDE??? TIM STOKER DIDN’T GO OUT WITH A BANG FOR THIS??? (It’s… super-upsetting, to me, that Jon Is Currently what Tim had accused him of being/turning into back at the time ORZ ORZ And if we get Jon back, and/or if he’s confronted about it, I wonder if… the fact that he would be disappointing Tim would be a point to be made.)

- So, turns out that MAG141 indeed wasn’t a first try, and there is the obvious question of… how long Jon has been extorting live-statements here and there, since the fact that we didn’t hear any recording of the woman beforehand means that we haven’t been hearing Everything of Jon’s spook-related activities before MAG141. Possibilities regarding the turning point:

* Since Jon woke up and was released from the hospital (after MAG122).

* Since… after the coffin? Given Elias’s comment in MAG135 (“Consider it a test – things are… coming, things that will need Jon to be far stronger and more willing to use his connection to our patron. His performance during The Unknowing was… disappointing. I needed a way to force him to harness his ability more acutely than he had before. The coffin was a useful tool; Daisy an adequate bait.”), I don’t really feel like it could have been a thing before – I mean, the way Jon behaved in MAG141 and was described in MAG142 screamed “very willing to use his connection to their patron”… And Jon had mentioned a few things after the coffin:

(MAG135) ARCHIVIST: I don’t… like interacting with the rest of the Institute these days. The way they look at me, I– … I don’t know. I don’t know what they’ve heard, what the rumours going around are, but… they have definitely heard something…! [SIGH] And they can’t wait until they don’t have to talk to me anymore. Can’t honestly say I blame them, none of this is easy. Everyone’s just trying to get through as best they can. Living one day at a time. [SIGH] But I can’t afford to be just living one day at a time, I need… a plan. But I don’t even know what I’m trying to achieve… And no one… no one wants to tell me.

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Ever since I crawled out of that damn coffin, I feel like I’ve been… adrift. Filling in blanks and diving into History, but only…! [EXASPERATED SIGH] The breadcrumbs I’m finding are… stale. Old. … What the hell is The Watcher’s Crown? […] I feel like I’m on a deadline, like I’m running out of time somehow – and I don’t even know where to go! What to look for, o–or… [EXHALE] Just casting around blindly for more clues to just… drop into my lap. Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea. [HUFF]

(Though, I feel like this option is reaching and stretching… a lot: because DUH, the staff would have had a lot of reasons to be wary of Jon or of the Archives in general without even factoring in the possibility of rumours that Jon had been mentally manhandling people (he… was losing it a bit already in season 2? He ran away and got accused of murder for two months before coming back? He spent six months in a coma after a wax museum exploded? Tim was ranting to everyone about being bound to the Archives, and people thought it was mostly depression, but then he died in said explosion?); and DUH, Jon would feel aimless after the coffin, when his return to the Institute had been a succession of settling back in, trying to get updated on the assistants’ current state, saving Melanie from the bullet, almost immediately focusing on the Rescue Daisy mini-arc from episode 128 to 132, leading to her coming back and… then nothing else, no Main Goal anymore, and just time passing.)

The biggest clue that someone could have been happening behind the scene after the coffin is Jon’s intake of statements: there were 10 between MAG122 (February 15th?, Jon waking up) and MAG132 (March 24th, inside of the coffin), including one extracted statement (Breekon’s, MAG128), one tape from Gertrude (with Lucia, MAG130), one live-statement (Jared’s, MAG131) and one recording from Jon (rescuing Daisy, MAG132), so 9 “active” pieces of content in six weeks if you exclude Gertrude’s… and then, only six until the end of May (MAG140), including one recording from Gertrude (MAG137), so five “active” pieces of content in two months if you exclude hers (+ 2 statements read by Martin, if assistants count – they seemed to, back in season 3, since Elias was pushing them to regularly read statements because Jon was “too inconsistent” about it).

* Since after MAG139, because Jon tried to sneak a peek at Peter’s plans and it backfired. It could have the added tragic bits that… Jon had been wary of his Inner Door, told Basira that opening it would mean drowning; and he eventually purposefully tried very hard to Know about something, deliberately… because he was too worried for Martin.

* Since after MAG140 and Basira told him about the plan to Ny-Ålesund.

MAG142 gives more credentials to a change having happened around MAG139/MAG140 on account of the given timeline:

(MAG140) BASIRA: Summer solstice is the 21st of June. So we leave in a fortnight. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. BASIRA: And should arrive about a week before.

(MAG142) WOMAN: Look, life went back to… normal, I… I was fine. Until… [CHOKING] about two weeks ago. MARTIN: And that was when you met J– … Er, one of our employees. WOMAN: … That’s when he showed up.

Which means the succession of events was likely:

MAG139: somewhere at the end of May => MAG140: one day after MAG139 (Jon referred to it as “yesterday”) => events described in MAG142 => Jon&Basira departing => MAG141 (June 11th) => MAG142 (June 12th).

If Jon had been going around taking statements for a long while, I think the woman’s story would have been dated from a few more weeks, or months prior, just to get that point across? Though it’s also possible that, like MAG141, the date is a red herring to keep us into a false sense of (relative) security still: Floyd’s story is mysterious enough that it might contain something that could be used against The Dark, so there is still the possibility that Jon extorted it for that reason… but MAG142 was without hesitation a Buried one, so not actual data, so it has nothing to do with actual information but just about feeding, and we’re slowly running out of rational explanations which could motivate Jon’s sudden harshness (“it’s because it was important information, and just one time, to someone mostly innocent but involved in fishy business with a reccurring character” => “there was no relevant information to the current case, and Jon had done this to people before, and he targeted absolutely innocent people”) so… could be that It All Began just before the trip, or could be that we will discover that it had been going on for longer than that.

- However long Jon has been doing that… I don’t think that the punchline was that he had been utterly lying on tape throughout all of season 4? Honestly, I… wouldn’t find this interesting – I’m too used to twists being that your (unreliable) narrator was actually Evil/Really Bad all along and, precisely, the series had taken a more interesting approach with this in season 1 (with the fact that Jon appeared as pompous and elitist and sceptic and dry… and, okay, was a bit of that, but also scared and trying to hide it), so it would feel a bit of a let-down if that was the case in the end? And we’ve had a few occurrences of Jon not immediately being aware that he was recorded (he hadn’t spotted the tape recorder at first in MAG122 and MAG123, the tape recorder was in Martin’s room in MAG129 when Jon entered), and he acted exactly the same as when he was in control of the recording. When he accidentally compelled Melanie in MAG136, he immediately apologised (which means he knew he had wronged her, which means he still had a spontaneous sense of morals, or at least, of understanding when he was crossing a line and doing something harmful and unwelcome).

One thing that might be true, however: if season 1 showed us one thing, it’s also… that through his recordings, Jon can present the world how he wishes it were. So, if he’s been… extorting and assaulting people for their stories all along, I really don’t think he lied and feigned the empathy for the victims, nor the fact that he was feeling doubts and concern, but more like, that he wished it were as simple as this…? Though it would also come across as a very… unsavoury way to Appeal For His Life – there is a big distinction about sighing about his inhumanity because he’s feeling aimless and unsure of what he’s supposed to do, and doing it while aware that he’d be causing harm here and there.

And the thing with MAG141 and MAG142 is that it’s supposed to feel like a shock; there was no progression(/degression) in Jon’s speeches during the season, no growing apathy towards victims. He kept expressing sadness and uneasiness! Before trying to take a look at Peter’s plan, he had launched into a rant about having “feelings” and “doubts”! It’s not even that he was feeling more and more isolated – since he got Daisy back, they’ve been bonding, Jon confessed to liking her (… and even went to such extremes as listening to The Archers with her). And suddenly, we’re faced with Jon doing… a complete face-heel turn: there is nothing comparable, nothing… progressive between the way he “extracted” Breekon’s statement in MAG128 (partially in defense, because Breekon was on the verge of attacking Basira) and received Jared’s in MAG131 (something that Jared forced on him: Jon had just been told that someone had commanded the attack over the Institute, and Jared went for that form and made it a deal against Jon’s rib), and going… after innocents, as consumption, as food, because statements are a “meal” and he doesn’t care much if that means wrecking people forever. The woman from MAG142 was the most innocent you could ever get: she didn’t know about the Magnus Institute, didn’t want to tell what had happened to her, didn’t even blame Jon for the after-effects and her reopened wounds (“Look. I know that’s not… [CHUCKLE] That is my brain. I’m not blaming him for, for being in my dreams. You know, I guess I can’t! [SNIFF] That’s absurd, right? It’s not… [PAUSE] But I feel like I’m seeing him when I’m awake, as well?” … although we know that it was directly his fault). She didn’t even express contempt or disrespect at Martin; she was calm, her story didn’t involve any shady business. She had her initial trauma and, as she said, she worked and fought by herself to get well (“But, uh, but–but I did my physio, and, you know, talked wi–with the counsellor they gave me? Look, I did everything I was supposed to, and–and yeah, I… I guess I was fine.”) before Jon came in and ruined her life – she can’t work anymore, her whole ability to function has been impacted, she’s in clear distress. What Jon did to her was… absolutely unwarranted and gratuitous. And… honestly, except for willingly launching The Watcher’s Crown, I have trouble picturing what he could possibly do that would be worse than this?

Season 4, at least on tape, hasn’t been Jon’s slow descent into monsterhood; it has been a constant string of Jon expressing doubts, sadness for victims, and trying to regain contact with the assistants. So what happened, for him to suddenly dive in and become so instinctive…? Or if it had always been there, out of record, what was going through Jon’s head…? (What was going though Jon’s head, when he was watching the woman as she was waiting for her date…? Because she was alone, at first, and yet, he didn’t immediately came for her…)

Basically: we’re missing pieces, and that’s the point, but uuuuuh…

- Anyway, meanwhile, I’m guessing that Elias got put into solitary confinement because the amount of [PLEASURED EXHALATION] he must have breathed out in these past two weeks made the guards AND the other inmates too uncomfortable.

- Aaaand the trend of people who had a Beholding-related encounter and are especially uneasy at the Institute keeps going:

(MAG053) GERTRUDE: One other thing. That feeling of being watched… have you ever had it since? WALTER: Well, I wasn’t sure whether to say anything, but… yes, I have, just now. That… funny turn I took on the way down the stairs, I felt it again. All those eyes, watching me.

(MAG060, Rosa Meyer) “Not that I could rest anyway. Those eyes still haunt my dreams, and follow me through the waking world. Even here. Especially… here.”

(MAG142) WOMAN: But I feel like I’m seeing him when I’m awake, as well? I’ve been… I’ve been having a lot of problems, since he talked to me, well, since I talked to him. […] Every time I do, every time I get that… panic just rising up my throat… I see him. He’s there. Not when I look properly. But just at the edge. The corner of my eye. And he’s gone. […] I, I… I can’t… this place… I… I can’t be here. I have to… [OPENING DOOR] MARTIN: Uh, no– WOMAN: Bye!

Which. Is still a possible explanation as to why there are so few Beholding statements outside of the letters addressed to Jonah: because people have to be exceptionally tough to not feel crushed and even more pressured inside of the Institute, if they’ve already been marked/offered to Beholding.

- I… hadn’t really given much thought about it, but actually, the distinction between feeding/being fed from, for the Archivist, might be through respectively live and written statements? Back in season 3, Elias had highlighted to Jon that they were taxing on him, and Jon had mentioned to Georgie that he was experiencing the fears himself, when reading them:

(MAG089) JUDE: It’s like you’re not even listening. You have your god, as I have mine. Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you. ARCHIVIST: But I don’t… I don’t… I mean, I mean, what do I feed it? JUDE: I don’t know? You’re the one it picked. Not a great choice, if you ask me.

(MAG091) MIKE: That’s… that’s all, I think. Since then I’ve embraced my new life; gladly fed that which feeds me.

(MAG092) ARCHIVIST: And you can’t just give me all of the statements? ELIAS: Jon, even when you had them all at your disposal, you barely got through one statement a week. Why do you think that is? It takes its toll on you. And I know you’ve had problems with moderation.

(MAG093) ARCHIVIST: You’ve seen monsters? GEORGIE: Not the time, Jon. ARCHIVIST: Right, it’s… it’s just I think I’m turning into one. GEORGIE: Really? That’s… not great. ARCHIVIST: Yeah. Ever since I took this job, I’ve felt a compulsion to read out some of the statements. The ones that really touched the supernatural. And when I do… I… I feel them. I feel their confusion and fear. I tried to write it off, but…

Though Jon doubled-over at the end of MAG094, after the Hellish Five Days covering MAG089 (Jude’s live), MAG091 (Mike’s live), MAG092 (Elias showdown), MAG093 (written statement), MAG094 (Georgie’s live). And a written statement was enough to perk him up in MAG107. But I wonder if, now that Jon has… “become something else”, the live-statements aren’t precisely feeding him, and more tempting, while the written ones make the Beholding feed from him…? The woman in MAG142 was insistent over the fact that Jon looked… replenished, after he was done with her, and Jon told Basira in MAG141 that Floyd’s was helping him to go “full power”, so it definitely looks like it’s the actual way to feed for an Archivist… while it used to be pretty neutral, effects-wise, before his coma?

(And even in season 4, Jon didn’t sound that much lively in MAG131, after taking Jared’s, so…? Was that because Jared is a spook, and it’s less nourishing? Or is it because a new dependency/feeding system has grown alongside Jon’s powers, developing through the ordeals – after the coffin in MAG132, and/or after he tried to take a look at The Lonely in MAG139?)

- Amongst things that have apparently changed, relatedly to Jon’s powers… the effects of taking live-statements did: Daisy and Basira only mentioned dreams, but the woman in MAG142 made it clear that it wasn’t just that. It sounds like, additionally to the dreams, Jon re-traumatised her (since she has been plagued with panic attacks every time she’s triggered, although she used to be able to handle it), which makes her relive the fear of The Buried… with additional Feeling Of Being Watched. So, feeding both The Buried and Beholding? (How come only The Lonely is financing the Institute and getting all chummy with them, then, if Beholding has the potential to give back to the other Fears the snacks that had managed to get away?)

So why did the live-statements Jon extorted have different effects than usual? Multiple parameters have changed since the ones from the first three seasons. Is it because he’s more The Archivist now, after having chosen, and this is what true full Archivists do to people? Is it because The Watcher’s Crown is coming closer and Beholding is reaching its peak power? I’m reminded of Smirke’s letter (MAG138), when The Eye was precisely haunting both his dreams and his daily world, and that’s how Smirke came to the conclusion that Jonah was on the verge of doing something regrettable. Other option: … Assuming there wasn’t any tape recorder indeed: is it because the statement hadn’t been recorded, back then, and the recorders alleviate the Beholding effect…? (=> I’m still amongst the people considering hard that the tape recorders are actually Web, so, it could be a matter of hijacking Beholding’s dominion a bit…?)

- ;; Whether The Watcher’s Crown attempt is planned for the end of season 4 or for later into season 5… you can feel, meta-wise, that Something Beholding is coming closer and closer. There had been very few statements about The Eye throughout the entire series so far (full-on Eye: MAG023, MAG53, MAG060, MAG120) and… we’re already at three new ones in season 4 – MAG127, MAG138, MAG142.

- One of the themes of the episode seems to be about the temptation of the Dread Powers: Lonely for Martin, Beholding for Jon, Hunt for Daisy.

(MAG142) MARTIN: Th–the worst part is I don’t even want to talk to him about it. I’m just… [SIGH] I suppose I’m just getting comfortable with the distance. [SIGH] Cut off. [DRY CHUCKLE] “Lonely”. [INHALE] Mind you, Peter’s not wrong. It really is easier than actually just trying to communicate with people. […] They told you about Elias, right? DAISY: Yeah…. Basira said. Don’t like him being alive. Trying not to think about it too much. Don’t want to get too angry. Start to… hear the… blood. […] MARTIN: I mean… I guess. It still sounds really dangerous. DAISY: Yeaaah. Wanted to go with them, protect them, but… [PAUSE] Life’s always more complicated than that, isn’t it? MARTIN: Not really.

Daisy got enough distance, in the coffin, to delimitate herself separately from The Hunt, which had shaped her life until now – it’s a looming threat, and keeping away from it means accepting sacrifices, in the form of not being there for the people she cares about (now, “Basira and Jon”: not Basira anymore):

(MAG132) DAISY: I’m sc–scared, but… Mm��mm… But I… I feel more, feel more m–me than I have for years. Maybe all my life… The, The Hunt was me, b–but I don’t, I don’t think I liked it. I think it just made me… need… it…  I hurt… a l–lot of people… and some who… who I shouldn’t have. Did you ever hear the, the story Elias told me? About what I did. How I am… He, he didn’t get a detail wrong. The Hunt… Hunger was in me all my life. Telling me who to chase, how to hurt them. I never needed to think… who I was outside of that. But down here, where I… I can’t hear the… blood anymore, I d–, I don’t… I don’t know who I am without, without the chase… I just know… that I… I don’t like who I was back outside. I don’t want to be her again. I want… to be… better…

(MAG133) ARCHIVIST: [EXHALES] She is trying to keep a clear head. Stay away from The Hunt as much as possible. You valued her purpose. Her resolve. The sort of things–

(MAG140) ARCHIVIST: Is Daisy coming? BASIRA: … No. ARCHIVIST: … Oh. I, I–I just thought– BASIRA: We’ve talked about it. If The Hunt takes her again… we don’t know if she’s coming back. And neither of us want that. ARCHIVIST: … No, o–of–of course.

As it was presented with the last two episodes, Jon crashed and burned himself through Beholding; whatever he is right now, however he thinks, he’s deep in – and though he may (or may not) have been initially trying to use his powers for good, or with a goal in mind… it’s now about consuming, about feeding, about indulging, whether he had realised it or not. Meanwhile, Martin is seeing appeal in the Lonely – Peter’s magic/management is doing its work (and Gerry had warned us that the Lukases were good at grooming their own). Respectively reformed, currently into it, and tempted to give in, because the powers offer something they crave: being a fighter and having the power to protect or to strike at those who offended her for Daisy, getting information, knowledge and obtaining new pieces to complete the ongoing puzzles for Jon, being at peace of mind and not heartbroken anymore for Martin.

(- And Martin has been closing himself off without… realising to which extent, apparently:

(MAG142) DAISY: Yeah. Just a… a bit empty around here. You know? MARTIN: Not really. DAISY: Melanie’s out, and… [EXHALE] Jon and Basira’re still off. Bit worried. But they can take care of themselves, you know? MARTIN: Again, not really. [SHORT HUMOURLESS LAUGHTER] No one talks to me anymore. […] Anyway. So, what’s this field trip they’re on? DAISY: They, uh… they didn’t tell you? MARTIN: [DRY CHUCKLE] No, I… What. … [QUICKLY] Daisy, where have they gone? DAISY: You know that town in Norway? MARTIN: What? I… Wai– Wh–what?! You don’t mean Ny-Ålesund? DAISY: Yyyeah. They reckon there’s a ritual they need to, you know… MARTIN: Yeah, but Peter didn’t even men…! [OPENS DRAWERS, SHUFFLES THROUGH THINGS] I don’t believe this!

Basira had mentioned that she had stopped trying to reach for him, after his mother’s death; but Martin had accepted to cut off from Jon entirely, and has shown multiple times that he’s been relying on Peter for information. Maybe Basira stopped trying, but it’s mostly… that Martin made himself so inaccessible. And there is something very fitting (though sad) with that? Because indeed, Martin kept trying to make connections with people and being rejected or betrayed – his attentions never meeting their goal. He took care of his mother for years; he was quite mistreated by Jon even when trying to make things a bit better, or less bittersweet (prime example being the beginning of MAG069, when he brought tea for Jon, and was turned away). And as he spat to Elias’s face in MAG118, he was very aware that the “good” moments he had spent with Not!Sasha had been cruel lies, that he felt bad for spending with Sasha’s murderer? And his relationship with Tim had deteriorated through season 2 already, reaching the point in season 3 when… Tim didn’t factor him in at all, focused on his revenge and didn’t spare any thought for Martin because he didn’t know him like he knew Sasha? And Martin never really managed to form any connection with Melanie nor Basira, and Daisy used to frighten him. So, the temptation of the Lonely makes a lot of sense… and maybe Daisy will manage to pierce through it? She’s been a constant surprise in season 4 – actually bonding with Jon, and now managing to… have a meaningful talk with Martin? The fact that they shut down the tape recorder while still together might mean that they’ll keep talking and that it… could do Martin some good? That they could act on something together?)

- The clock in the background made it sound like the scene was taking place in Elias’s office again? (I think the sound the door made was the same, too?) So, “Assistant to Peter Lukas”, really? Nah. Martin has been slowly taking over all of Elias’s tasks: taking care of the Institute’s administration

and

receiving

the complaints about Jon.

(I’m not even joking: the first time ever that we heard Elias talk… was when he relayed to Jon that Naomi had filed a complaint about him, in MAG017. And now, it’s MARTIN taking care of even that. I don’t want Martin to become the new Head Director because that can mean anything good, but UUUUUh at the same time. All these tiny ways in which he is literally replacing Elias are hilarious but, accumulated, are beginning to get suspicious.)

Plus, I do love

(MAG142) WOMAN: I don’t, a– Look, I just need to, to talk to a… a–a manager, or something? MARTIN: Okay, uh, well, uh… Uh, yeah, actually, [CHUCKLE] I’m a, I’m a manager. G–go on?

How more and more confident he’s getting at Bullshitting… but AT THE SAME TIME. Martin is managing Peter and used to manage Jon. He does deserve to be called “a manager”, okay.

- MARTIN IS STILL A BEHOLDING BABY!! After the (glorious) mess that was MAG100, Martin had been the only one of the assistants to take a live-statement: Tim’s, in MAG104, though, okay, Tim was also an assistant himself and it was… probably a Beholding effect that allowed him to be so articulate? But Martin technically took another one with MAG142, and the woman’s story was clearly messier and less “fluid”, she had a lot of trouble explaining things, and the point that it wasn’t the first time that she was telling her story (“And I start to tell him… everything. About the job, about the collapse, ab–about the hand… And more than I told you, even, and–and…”)… but still. Beholding might not be giving up on him, uh?

Also, it’s Aza’s pet-theory that Martin might be compelling/manipulating people to do what he wants by asking “Please” (even though there is no static), and MMMM… both Tim and the woman uncoiled and began to talk after he said that word…

(MAG104) MARTIN: Please. TIM: [EXHALEs] Fine. Fine. I’ll tell him in person, when he gets back from… wherever it is that he’s vanished to. MARTIN: China. And if you try to tell him in person, you’ll just end up at each other’s throats. You know you will. TIM: … [BITTERLY] Statement of Timothy Stoker, on the disappearance of... of my brother, Danny, four years ago. June 14th, 2017.

(MAG142) MARTIN: Just… just tell me what happened. Hum, please. I–I won’t judge. [SILENCE] WOMAN: Alright. Uh. So, you… [SIGH] You’ve, uh… you’ve got to understand my job, okay?

(+ Melanie relenting when he went “Melanie. Melanie, please.” in MAG118, etc.)

- Anyway, I’m so so glad that Martin’s pettiness has been skyrocketing in season 4.

(MAG082) DAISY: Well, if your witnesses appear back in this universe, maybe the situation will change. Otherwise, it’s an easy choice: answer my question or I pin it on you. MARTIN: Y–you can’t! Th–that’s not how this works. [SILENCE] … Is it? DAISY: Let me tell you how this works, Mr. Blackwood. I’ve got a hell of a workload, no partner and full operational discretion to make this whole situation go away. That means you help me or I make things very unpleasant for you.

(MAG142) DAISY: I said… I don’t want to talk about it. [SILENCE] MARTIN: I know. [PAUSE] Not nice being interrogated, is it? DAISY: I… [EXHALE] Oh. MARTIN: Yeah. [SILENCE] DAISY: [INHALE] I’m sorry, Martin.

February 2017 vs. June 2018, it was sixteen months ago, and he didn’t let that go. FORGIVE AND FORGET? NO AHAHAHAH RESENT AND REMEMBER.

- AND I’M SO GLAD THAT DAISY APOLOGISED… that she understood on her own why Martin was so petty and cutting at her – that she had given him reasons to!

(And uuuh… that parallel between Daisy-towards-Basira and Martin-towards-Jon… I didn’t know how much I wanted Daisy and Martin to have an Actual Conversation until now, but… they work… so fine… hopeless pining gays aware that their crushes are fucking idiots throwing themselves into things without plans, all of them…)

- Uh! So Martin listened to MAG061’s tape!

(MAG142) MARTIN: I listened to your old statement. Wasn’t your partner down there? DAISY: Yeah. Didn’t find him. MARTIN: You don’t wanna go get him? DAISY: I’m not going back. MARTIN: Hm! I thought you would have at least tried, or–

(As an aside, we know Jon had taken the tape along with him when he went into the coffin to rescue Daisy…)

So why and when did Martin listen to that specific statement and remember about that detail…? (He’s usually… notoriously pretty bad at cross-checking information or remembering names from one statement to another, see how he didn’t remember about “Rayner” back in season 3.)

- Speaking of tapes, there were a few things:

(MAG142) MARTIN: I should probably try to get him this tape, let him know what happened, that someone came in to… But then, ahah, would that just come across as an accusation? Like, because I don’t wanna… And then, then I guess he’d… hear this bit as well, so… I… I… [LONG EXHALE] What do I do…? […] DAISY: … [INHALE] You recording, or…? MARTIN: Hm? Uh, oh… Oh, no, there was– Hang on… [CLICK.]

The fact that the woman’s complaint and story was recorded was a conscious decision from Martin, or at least, he was aware of the recording (=> it didn’t… sneakily begin to record without him noticing). But it’s strange that the woman didn’t mention any tape recorder with Jon when he preyed on her – maybe it was there, hidden, but maybe there wasn’t any…? If that’s the case, why…? (…………… if it was recorded, that means there might be a hidden stash of… encounters like this, of Jon pressuring people into giving their statements…)

- We got quite the roundabout of Martin’s ambivalent bits this episode: he was good towards the woman (treating her with the respect she deserved), expressed offense and disgust at Jon’s actions………………… and then right away, went back to being Considerate Of Jon’s Feelings and to worrying over him the instant he was given the incentive:

(MAG142) MARTIN: Uh, but you didn’t give me your– [DOOR CLOSES] … name. [SIGH] [RUFFLING PAPER] [SILENCE] [SIGH] … What the hell do I do with that?! I mean, Christ, Jon, that’s… that’s not okay! Oh, that can’t– that can’t… I mean, it’s not him, is it? Not, not really? It’s, what, addiction, instinct, maybe mind control, something like that? I… can’t believe he’d choose to do something like that. … No, no, I, I can’t think like that, though, I, I can’t let myself, ‘cause I mean, if, if he‘s already gone, then all of this is just… […] MARTIN: No, no, it’s… thank you, I just… [CLOSES DRAWER] For God’s sake, can he not stay safe for like, for like ten minutes?! DAISY: I don’t think that’s an option for him anymore. MARTIN: Yeah, I mean, sure… [SLAMS A DRAWER SHUT] But he just…! He doesn’t think! He always just immediately charges straight off into danger with whatever… whatever half-arsed plan o–occurs to him at the time! I don’t get it!

… It’s probably not a good thing that he’s… so prompt to getting worried over Jon instead of reconsidering things through his actions (it’s like he had… immediately forgotten the woman’s story as soon as Daisy explained that Jon was going into Danger territory) but… it makes sense with Martin’s point of view – because he had agreed to some sacrifice for the others’ and Jon’s well-being, and, indeed, if he were to accept that Jon is gone… then, it means that it was partially for naught – unless Martin manages to find New Reasons. (But it kind of confirms that Martin really doesn’t have many things he cares for/about left in the world…)

-  Whatever is happening with Jon, it’s either not one of the options that Martin considered, either a mix of all of them (“addiction, instinct, maybe mind control”)? We know that Jon has had ~problems with moderation~ and Jon had discovered and acknowledged that he was getting addicted to written-statements, back in season 3, without… giving it much thought:

(MAG107) ARCHIVIST: I feel… a lot better! … I’d love to rattle off a lot of potential other reasons for this, nice rational causes of recovery, but… I feel we’re past the point of transparent rationalisations. It looks like the recording of statements has now passed over from psychological compulsion into… a more physical dependence. I don’t know whether this is… some sort of classical addiction or something a bit deeper. But either way, this is not the time for experimentation. I’m on a deadline, and if I need to be reading statements to stay well enough, then I suppose that’s what I shall do.

And the way Jon was described kind of remind me of Trevor’s relationship with The Hunt? (MAG056, “In the early 80s, I was deep in the grip of my twin addictions. As I mentioned, after a while, the hunt became an addiction of its own. Of the two, I’ve always found heroin the easier one to quit. […] But the hunt… the hunt is a purpose. It’s not just a way to get through the day, it’s a reason for there to be a day at all.”)

There has been so much talk about “choices” this season that… the bottom line will probably be that yes, Jon did choose it and will be aware of it. Either it was something he was trying to get under control, for a Greater Plan (trying to Power Up to fight The Dark?), either it was mainly hunger when he began to do these things but… despite Martin’s repulsion at the idea, I don’t think the answer will be anything less than “yes, maybe he was influenced, but Jon did choose it”…?

- You can feel that Daisy is a bit older/more experienced than the others and… it’s interesting that, in the end, she’s knowledgeable about human behaviours and able to decipher them?

(MAG142) DAISY: I, I mean, it’s pretty standard stuff. MARTIN: What?! DAISY: Used to see it all the time back in the force, especially with the Section’d. Not like there’s… “normal” trauma, you know? But it’s pretty common. The most important thing becomes control, engaging on your own terms. Even when it’s stupid or dangerous. Anything to not feel helpless.

(She was Section’d for fourteen years, she had been working in the police for sixteen years in December 2016, so she’s at the very least 35-ish years old, while Jon&Martin are around 30.)

AND I LOVED HOW SHE REMINDED MARTIN THAT SHE USED TO BE A DETECTIVE…

(MAG142) MARTIN: … Yeah. [LONG INHALE] I suppose. [LONG EXHALE] You’re… you’re pretty observant, you know? DAISY: Detective, remember? MARTIN: Yeah, you did mention. Would have thought Basira would’ve had more sense, though. DAISY: When Basira and I were partners, I’d see this happen sometimes. She can read a… situation like no one I know, always seems to know the right move, but for all her research, she never wants to put a plan together. I think she just hates all the unknowns, the… variables. [SIGH] Contingencies. If she spots an advantage, she’ll… grab it, and trust herself to figure out the details as she goes.

Elias has been nagging Basira, calling her “detective” (and Georgie called her one in MAG122, and Peter referred to her as such in MAG134) but… it was Daisy, officially – Basira was only a Police Constable. Daisy had it in her to lean towards Beholding, uh…? And it’s nice to see that Daisy didn’t have that title for nothing? And it’s interesting to see the contrast between her and Basira – with Daisy, initially being presented as savage and violent (a “rabid dog” according to Elias), actually attuned to the way people work, and Basira, quieter and “soft” (according to Daisy in MAG061), seemingly level-headed… being actually the impulsive and chaotic one.

- But WOOPS.

(MAG140) ARCHIVIST: So what’s the plan? BASIRA: I’m getting us passage on a boat heading up there. ARCHIVIST: … Right. BASIRA: I bring all the guns from Daisy’s old stash, you bring the spook you used to mess up that delivery guy. [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: Wh… at? That’s it? [PAUSE] Christ, I thought my plans were half-arsed. BASIRA: It’s all about when we go. ARCHIVIST: … I don’t follow. BASIRA: Summer solstice is the 21st of June. So we leave in a fortnight. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] … Right. BASIRA: And should arrive about a week before. No danger of sunset or darkness for a long time. Stands to reason that they will be at their weakest.

(MAG141) ARCHIVIST: You were the one who suggested we go by boat. BASIRA: Didn’t think I… urgh… [SNIFF] … I hadn’t really done proper boats, before…

Confirmation that Basira barely has any plan for Ny-Ålesund and is mostly planning to improvise.

- Here’s hope that Martin talking with Daisy will help a bit to get him out of his shell… Hilariously, Elias had warned Martin about getting too secluded?!

(MAG138) MARTIN: I think he wants me to join The Lonely. ELIAS: Then it sounds like you have a decision to make. […] Don’t forget to keep in touch, Martin. There are so many people in here, but without one’s friends… [DOOR LOCKING] it does get rather lonely.

And Daisy came in and was the surprise!friend. At the very least, Martin got another demonstration that Peter is not trustworthy when it comes to the information he shares (or doesn’t share). Martin, despite his official wariness, has been relying on him a great deal, but maybe the news that Jon hoped out to stop another ritual, and that Peter didn’t even deem it worth it to notify Martin or to provide help, will allow distrust to sink in again…? (Oooh, I hope we will hear Martin confronting Peter about it, because Martin will probably be deliciously snappy and cutting…)

- … So Melanie had been “quiet” and now she’s away again (“Melanie’s out, and… [EXHALE] Jon and Basira’re still off.”), and we haven’t heard from her since her first session with that therapist, and I’m Worried About Melanie. And on that subject, I liked how Daisy casually supports Melanie’s past intention to kill Elias:

(MAG142) MARTIN: I thought you believed him…! You were doing all of his dirty work. DAISY: Well, wasn’t willing to call his bluff. Not the same thing as “believing”. Just too big a risk. MARTIN: … Not for Melanie. DAISY: Well, maybe she was the only one with any sense. Even if he was telling the truth [EXHALE], if we all… died… There are worse things.

… because we definitely know that she didn’t have much sense given that it was confirmed that she had been infected by the bullet.

(But hey, Daisy, give yourself some credit:

(MAG092) ELIAS: Ah, of course. Er, sometimes I forget how new you all are to this. Basira is now tied to the Institute. All of you are. Like fingers on a hand. And I am the beating heart of it. Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit. MELANIE: Wait, what? TIM: Yup, that sounds about right. ELIAS: And it would not be a pleasant death. DAISY: Bullshit! ELIAS: Then shoot me. Just squeeze the trigger, and watch the only person you care about die screaming. Your last connection to humanity. Do it. BASIRA: Daisy…

You did call it “bullshit”, back then!)

- It’s quite impressive how much Elias has managed to be omnipresent even in absentia in season 4, but especially in this episode. The scene seems to take place in his office; we got reminders of how he had trapped Daisy to work for him; he’s still an element threatening Daisy to tip over; and he’s in prison… but still a bit here, somehow.

(Urk, he had mentioned that Jon was “at a very delicate stage right now” in MAG127, hence him making sure that Jon couldn’t get in contact with him… but I wonder if, upon his return from the Pole, Jon will get visitation rights because… stuff happened.)

- And what Jon is thinking/doing/meaning is… a gigantic mystery right now. It was a weird episode in that regard, because the first half of the episode was presenting him as a Monster, as absolutely… a danger? A threat? A “It” violating people and feeding from them? Because even if he wasn’t aware of the apparently new Beholding effects, Jon was absolutely conscious and reminded of the dreams plaguing statement-givers:

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: Shame about the dreams; I would avoid them if I could.

(MAG132) DAISY: I realised you were in my dreams. Reliving t… this. The coffin. You were there. ARCHIVIST: … Yes. DAISY: Didn’t think it was real. Not really… Just my mind putting you there, because I h–hated you but… no. One night, you turn up in a new shirt. Didn’t fit you. Not your style. I didn’t think much of it, it was just a d–, a dream. Then you come back from the States and… guess what you’re wearing. ARCHIVIST: Oh… DAISY: Realised what was happening then. Realised you weren’t human. Needed to die, as soon as it was safe. Never mind Elias and his… insurance.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: It, uh… Hm. Is, uh… Weird question, but… I… [EXHALE] I haven’t seen you in my dreams? The last couple of weeks? […] So… no more dreams. DAISY: Not of you and your weird eyes. Just the coffin. ARCHIVIST: Is that better…? DAISY: ’T’s mine. ARCHIVIST: … right.

(MAG141) BASIRA: And now he’s going to see you in his dreams as he relives that for the rest of his life! ARCHIVIST: [INHALE SHARPLY] BASIRA: Because… because a tape recorder told you to do it?! ARCHIVIST: Yes, Basira, he is. And I am sorry about that. But we needed it. Anyway: you’re the one who wants to be like Gertrude. [SILENCE] You think she’d give a damn about a few bad dreams? BASIRA: … No. ARCHIVIST: No. She got the job done, and didn’t care about the costs. BASIRA: But I thought you did.

… and still Did What He Did, and has forced himself on people, and is enjoying it, and… messed up the woman (and potentially Floyd – his stories were about travelling by sea, can he still work as a sailor if he starts getting panic attacks?! – and potentially… others).

But then, the second half of the episode rolled in and insisted on his human sides and qualities and the fact that he was a victim, too. It made sense for Daisy (since she got in touch with the Jon who doubted and was “moping around”), it made sense for Martin (because, as much as he’s able to snap and take none of Jon’s shit, he’s also showed a propensity to making excuses for him, hence Tim’s bitterness in season 2), but it was still… a weird mix. Because you were shown someone suffering and in distress, and right afterwards told that her tormentor was in a bad place and deserved to be loved and for people to worry for his well-being and state of mind…? It’s indeed good to get confirmation that what Jon has experienced left its marks on him, since we had glimpses of it before:

(MAG133) ARCHIVIST: And give Daisy a break. She was there eight months. [EXHALES] I was only in there for three days, and I–

(MAG136) DAISY: [QUICKLY] You’re not babysitting me, alright?! I know that’s what the others think, sometimes, but… that’s not it. I just… don’t like…  being on my own if I can help it. You know. Flashbacks, panic attacks, the usual. Just trying to avoid it if I can. ARCHIVIST: I know, Daisy, I–I do. It’s hard.

… but it happened at a weird time, after the woman’s story. At least, with how Daisy went back to Jon’s words, pointing out that he was “self-destructive”:

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: My– [PAUSE] [INHALE] [SIGH] My memories of the coma are not clear. But I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I… I don’t know if I made the right decision; I–I’m stronger now, tougher, I can… … If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever… I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else so, if I can maybe stop that happening, and [DRY CHUCKLE] the only danger is to me, I– I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario… the universe loses another monster. DAISY: That’s messed up. ARCHIVIST: [LOW SELF-DEPRECATIVE DRY LAUGHTER] … Yeah. I suppose it is. DAISY: Did you know the coffin wouldn’t kill you? ARCHIVIST: I– guess I thought imprisonment wouldn’t… wouldn’t be as bad as it was. DAISY: [SHAKY SIGH] ARCHIVIST: And it’s a lot easier to make that choice than it is to actually… endure the result. You might have noticed when I was in there with you, I… I had regrets. DAISY: Yeah. I remember. ARCHIVIST: Plus, I thought… [PAUSE] W– [SIGH] Well, I didn’t know what being down there had done to you. DAISY: You thought I was gonna kill you? ARCHIVIST: It was a possibility.

(MAG142) DAISY: And of course, for Jon, there’s survivor’s guilt in there, too. He thinks he’s not human. Makes him very… self-destructive.

… I think we might definitely be heading towards the idea that at some point, in a shape or form, Jon did (and likely does) intend to sacrifice himself to stop The Dark…?

(- Alright, though.

This bit is more a disclaimer for Behind The Scenes/Less Comfy Time than full-on review: I initially had a very hard time with this episode. By that, I mean it physically messed me up for a day or two, before I was able to pinpoint why, and managing to get what the issue was alleviated the feeling a bit: it’s because, beyond the harassment case (which was indeed treated as it deserved in the episode, as “enough” to feel messed-up and warrant a complaint), I felt/read/received the woman’s story and encounter as openly coded as se*ual assault, and I was unprepared to this – creepy man hovers around a woman who was having a romantic meeting, corners her when she is alone, forces her to do something she was unwilling to do, “thanks her” for what he extorted from her and is satisfied by the experience, and leaves her a crying wreck, traumatised and with her whole life messed up, down to the detail of the woman not putting the blame on him, partially presenting it as her responsibility (“I’ve been having a lot of problems, since he talked to me, well, since I talked to him. Ever since I told my… story. […] May–maybe, maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m… Maybe I just, I met him once, in a coffeeshop, and he was a creep, and it messed me up…! But that’s enough. Right? [SHAKY EXHALE] That is enough.”) since she didn’t have the codes to explain what had truly been done to her. On its own, I felt that this wasn’t escapist horror anymore but way closer to “real-life horror” than what TMA usually does; it was even strengthened by E. Lockley’s performance, which was absolutely amazing… and also very intense, shaking and rough; and there was the added fact that… the abuser, in this case, was someone (the protagonist) who had been presented as sympathetic until now. Separately, it would have been a lot already; together, it was unbearable for me upon listening, and even after… it also makes me a bit uneasy, story-wise; as in, “oh, after 140-ish episodes, is this series really for me, after all.”

Because the second half of the episode made it pretty clear that Jon will be held accountable for what happened, but also… that he is a victim himself. And he’s still (unless this is The Shift) our main character, that we were meant to sympathise with until at least MAG140, and who was still written as sympathetic in the second half of the episode. Meanwhile, this character… exposed how her life was wrecked, is condemned to suffer, was harmed by someone who knew to some extent what he was doing, and she probably won’t be seen ever again. She didn’t do anything; Jon did. And it’s Jon’s story, and I’m sure that there will be Lots Of Guilt if Jon is meant to stick around as our protagonist, but the fact remains: the person who was (one of) his victim(s) still had her life wrecked, knowingly, and is probably not “important” enough to receive focus and to achieve protagonist status, unlike… her abuser. And I feel like I read enough stories focusing on the person who chose to harm rather than the person who was hurt and will be perpetually hurt? And I’m not too fond either of serious stories going the “edgy” route of protagonists behaving as uncaring asshats for a long while…? I had always assumed that when Jon would Fall, it would be either gradually, or the point when he would lose his Protagonist/sympathetic status? But right now, it feels like it’s most likely heading towards Reforming and coincidental Manpain territory (which… TMA had been great at avoiding until now), and aesthetically, I’m not super ready to open myself to feel sympathy for a character who caused harm while aware of the effects, even if he feels like crap about it afterwards, and even if I was until now very engrossed in his story and loving him a lot as a character. It works fine in derivative works, I love the various explorations, but in a canon… it’s always something else, it makes me feel uneasy, I am always pursued by the reminder of “but why does this character’s ongoing story deserve to be told, and not their victim’s?”. With MAG141/142, I feel like suddenly, Jon got utterly destroyed as a protagonist? Who cares, honestly, if he’s self-destructive or has survivor guilt? How do you justify the fact that he should still be (even partially) a (sym)pathetic character, or someone to feel for, if he goes around dooming people in such ways, even if it’s a spooky temptation/an addiction problem…? I would need the canon to tell me why and I feel… that it’s going to be hard. Because even if Jon feels bad about it, even if he was planning to get fucked over and it was only a temporary thing, he’ll still not be the main victim, and there is (presumably) no fixing for what he did, no way to alleviate what he did to the people whose statements he extorted, and unlike them, he’ll still be… our character. We’ll hear his voice, not his victims’ (after this woman’s testimony), and I don’t think that’s compatible with his protagonist status anymore.

And I know that RQ is usually very sensitive when it comes to real-life issues; the woman was treated with the soft carefulness that she deserves, and I understand perfectly that the way Martin was written this episode was meant to avoid typical accusations in such cases: he absolutely believed her and didn’t even consider that she could have been lying; he took her seriously and didn’t argue with her over the necessity of filing a complaint; he was supportive and soft; he validated her after she told her story (“O–okay. Hum. [INHALE] Right, well… [EXHALE] Firstly, I’m re– I’m really sorry that this happened.”); he expressed outrage towards Jon’s actions for this (… at first). But I have a hard time “trusting” and can’t help but be wary of what will follow in the story, and I am ill-at-ease: because crediting the woman as “Bystander” was… a surprising choice (she was a victim, she was preyed upon, it was her story, she was not… a witness or someone on the side…), because she wasn’t named (so… deprived of her identity…), and because it is likely the last of what we’ll hear from her… even though we know, with the rules of this universe, that she won’t escape this situation. And we’ll keep following Jon, and be narratively meant to get heartbroken over him, if MAG142 is any indication. I’m open to surprises (we heard Melanie’s and Daisy’s voices in ways that I hadn’t been expecting, although it was necessary and welcome; Daisy did harm people and keeps reasserting that it was her responsibility, and I currently adore her (… though the fact that we never met an innocent she would have wrecked… helps); or it’s possible that it’s the point, that Jon is currently being buried as a protagonist and that we’re supposed to lose our attachment to him) but… as I said, I’m wary, and not at ease at the moment. So I’ll see with next episodes, but it’s possible that I might take a hiatus soon-ish to let a few episodes pass and to judge from afar if I’ll feel better listening to them in one go, with the overall direction getting clearer. My first reflex last Wednesday was “I can’t listen to this anymore” and it messed me up until I was able to pinpoint what had been the thing bleeding into me and making me feel so sick, and fiction isn’t… supposed to do that to you – suddenly, it made the world unsafe, and it wasn’t horror escapism anymore for the reasons mentioned above, and I really wasn’t expecting to get slammed this hard even when expecting Terrible (fictional) Things. So, I’ll… see; you do you, I do me, I’m fine now, I can branch out if I feel that It’s Not For Me After All. Despite these grand intentions, I’d probably end up swallowing any Jon Angst/Tragedy Juice anyway, manpain-flavoured or not, so, eh.)

(Here’s for narrative hope: Daisy saw the woman and reminded Martin that she was a “detective”, so… some pieces are laid for Daisy to track down and find her? The fact that this woman wasn’t given a name feels a bit suspicious – not because she would be a false identity or an illusion, but in the way that… she was denied one. And given her situation, given that she was a victim, it’s quite harsh and un-TMA-like? So we’re probably meant to see her again, with a proper name…?)

Title for MAG143 is out: no cookie point to guess which Fear is involved, but mMMMMmm, guessing we’re going into Things (and that we might get a clue about what Robert Montauk was doing when Julia was a kid…?).

[dachi-chan25]

IT (1986)

What is it about? The Losers Club, a group of 7 kids that in different ways are outsiders among the other children in the little town of Derry must come back 27 years after defeating their worst fears embodied in a evil alien entity that has preyed on this small Maine town and its recidents since the dawn of time. Thoughts: - I have read this book a gazillion times and it’s my favorite Stephen King book of all time (though that may change once I finish this challenge, but only time will tell) everytime I read through its pages is like reuniting with an old dear friend, because most of the characters (read: the Losers Club) are just that for me, I read this book for the first time when I was 15 after growing up with the 90’s miniseries, and I loved it, that feeling hasn’t changed with the years and well I want to elaborate a bit on what I love about this book. - Derry’s history: One of the reasons this book is so damn big is that it delves on the history of this little town called Derry, of course this is to help the reader understand just for how long and how big is IT’s influence on the town, but I just found it so fascinating, I’ve always loved history, and this book just reaaaally fullfiled my needs in that aspect, the town’s history is full of gruesome events but it’s very intresting and through all the same. -Loser’s Club: I love this kids, we are introduced to them little by little through different POV’s and god, I just really like the diversity and complexity in them: a kid with a stutter, an asthmatic that is really a kid heavily manipulated by his overprotective mother, an overweight, a jewish with OCD, a girl victim of physical/emotional parental abuse, the class clown that most likely has ADHD, the only black boy in town… And what I love the most is that they are NOT defined by that, sure,that is how the world sees them but they are so much more than that and together they find their true identities: Stuttering Bill be comes the Leader, Asthmatic Eddie becomes the Compass, Fat Ben becomes the Constructor, Jewish Stan becomes the Logic, Poor Beverly becomes the Shooter, Trashmouth Richie becomes the Weapon (his voces physically hurt IT), Black Mike becomes the Historian. As well as the belonging and friendship they had never had before, their relationship is strong and beautiful, as a reader you will most often find some of yourself in them and even if you don’t you love them all the same for their flaws and virtues. -IT: I read somewhere that a story is only as great as its villian and in IT’s case that I think is only fitting, thus my love for is evil entity, because IT is really a big represantation of violence not necessarily(The Bradley Gang Shooting was afterall motivated by the Derry townsfolk rightgeousness) but mostly evil, IT transforms into awfull gruesome monsters yet his most terrifying act is the influence it helds on the people inhabiting Derry, on taking the violent nature of some people (Derry’s White Decency League, Eddie Corcoran stepfather’s, Alvin Marsh, Butch and Henry Bowers…) and exploit it for its own gain, IT is scary for it’s power, for the fact that one can really comprehend it’s magitude, and when we finally get to get inside it’s head we find something more akin to a beast, hungry and vengeful, he had turned lazy because he already had in Derry a comfortable feeding place and now wants to kill the Loser’s Club because for the first time in its long existance IT feels fear! and how wonderful is that? a group of scared isolated kids find strenght in each other to rid their Town and follow kids of this entity, even if they are afraid themselves, and they succeed in frightening a creature that literally feeds of fear. -The portrayal of the timelines and gruesome subjects: The 1950 are not usted only for aesthetics or praised as the “good old times” King shows a very gritty reality showcasing the racism (very prominent in Mike’s storyline), sexism, homophobia, domestic violence, anti-semitism,and it goes further yet showing that 27 years later these things haven’t changed and IT uses them for it’s benefit. The book doesn’t shy away from any of these things and often it is very hard to read through them but as well I think is important to read them to gain concience,they are not presented as good or romantiziced in any from or way, nor should they ever be (dude the anti-semitism in Patricia Uris’s POV is something that will open your eyes in many ways if you are not jewish, and the Black Spot story will horrify you but also help you understand it was not only the South of USA and the KKK that spread hate and horror for PoC people) this things are meant to horrify you thus I feel it would be a disservice not to read them (though I can understand if anyone simply can’t). -The bittersweet ending: Really heart breaking that after reuniting with the people they could really be themselves with the Loser’s Club are meant to not remember each other ( SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANNA SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING OF THE BOOK: as a side note and I do not mean this as hate to the ship or anything but a real doubt I have can anyone explain to me why is everyone saying/asuming Ben and Beverly did end up together?, I mean going by the 90’s miniseries sure, but in the book Mike only says she is going to Nebraska with Ben and then back to Chicago with Kay and that he thinks they are/will be having sex, but also later we find that even if they are in the same Town Mike and Bill have begun to forget each other and it’s heavily implied the same will happen with them all? and that is a very Stephen King thing to do I mean most of the book couples I’ve read from him have similar bittersweet endings so… Pls someone explain) I just always about cry about the End and you know the THING that happens with two of the losers. But also I am a ho for this kind of bittersweet stuff so of course I love it. -Richie and Beverly’s friendship: Listen I LIVE for them, of course I just about adore every Loser’s friendship (Bill/Eddie, Richie/Stan, Richie/Eddie, Richie/Bill, Mike/Ben, Stan/Bev duuuude everyone is amazing) but this two just about make me crazy about them, tbh I kinda lowkey ship them in a platonic kinda way, and I was endlessly frustrated by the lack of scenes between them in the 90’s miniseries after I read the book cuz booooy, the yo-yo scene is so goddamned amazing, Richie being the first POV in which Bev is mentioned and he reminds her through the lyric of a song, his Humphrey Bogart voice he does when speaking with her, how much he respects her, also Miss Sca'lett!!!, not to mention that sweet ass scene they have in the book “22/11/63” where Bev is teaching Richie how to swing for a school talent show, ahhhh Imma stop right there cuz I am fangirling waaaay to much and probably y'all think I am wierd for liking such an unpopular thing. -There is just one thing I always felt was completely unecessary to add and was gross to read (you already know what I am talking about and if not I’m not gonna spoil you/gross you out), I have read of course why SK did it but I still think he should have looked for another way to make the Losers enter adulthood : / Movie/TV Adaptations: There are 2: The ABC’s 1990 miniseries “IT” and the 2017 movie by Andy Muschietti “IT (chapter 1)” of course it has been already confirmed there is going to be another movie for the Second part but I will not to go too much into it now. 1990: The opinions on this one are very polarized, some love it with a passion, some hate it… I actually love it, and by that I do not mean is a perfect adaptation, but it was such an integral part of my childhood and family life that it would be impossible for me to hate it, and I feel most people are terribly unfair with it, because it is not a Bad adaptation like let’s say Kubrick’s Shining (yaa I’m going there) it had a lot of limitations in budget and technology and still managed to capture some of the best parts of the book (the Loser’s friendship mainly, it was beautiful) of course it wasn’t gorey or violent but in it’s time it was scary as hell, which beings me to Tim Curry’s performance as Pennywise that became so iconic people automatically recognize the clown’s design, for fuck’s sake Pennywise became one of the most iconic monsters of that time and terrorized an entire generation of kids and adults alike, of course it has it’s faults (the adult’s part wasn’t great, tho the scene with Bev in Mrs. Kersh house was great, and the ending was bound to be confusing af to people that didn’t read the book) but overall it was a good atempt and it already has a place in pop culture and the hearts of many horror fans. 2017: Oh boy I was really looking forward to this one since they anounced it was going to be a thing (ahhh remember the time Will Poulter and Cary Fukunaga were our only hope?) and just had the chance to see it today, because a lot of awful things happened in my country (I am mexican btw) and yeah, so I left the theater with a very pleasant sensation IT 2017 is a great movie and I LOVED it, the acting was GREAT everyone did amazing, Georgie’s death scene was simply amazing and so sad, the projector scene was wow, lots of winks to book readers like the turtle and Eddie Corcoran’s missing pamphlet, Bev’s bathroom scene, the rock fight!!!,Eddie changing Loser to Lover is iconic, some of Richie’s one-liners were amazing, Pennywise dance pfffftt, Ben was adorable with his crush and love of New Kids on the Block, the Losers,“they’re Gazebos they’re bullshit!” iconic, mainly I feel it captured the general feeling of the book however that does not mean I didn’t had some issues with it as well, first thing that bothered me a LOT is the treatment to Mike Hanlon, excuse the fuck out of me but no, they took his thing (history of Derry) and gave it to Ben (also Ben not constructing things like ??? Could have been a perfect chance to have him build lego stuff but k) where is my beautiful spring loving child?? I just couldn’t find any single trait on his character apart from the wierd sheep thing and his parents, which takes me to another issue why is every adult on Derry so shitty? Like yeah there was a lot of shady awful stuff in the book but there were also ok people namely Mrs. Starret (the librarian, that is so unnecesarily creppy? Wierd? In the movie), Richie’s parents (his dad is hillarious), Mike’s parents they are the best tbh, Mr Keene (ok this one is a sarcastic asshole but he did try to help Eddie instead of letting him keep on believing he was sick to keep selling stuff, and also was never a wierd pervert), Mr. Nell (dude I would have killed to hear Richie doing the Irish Cop voice), the Tracker Brothers (boy Eddie looking longingly at the baseball diamond would have been 10/10, my boy loved sports)… thing is the Losers did love Derry and some parts of their childhood in it and that’s were the nostalgia hits on part two, Stan well I loved they delved more onto his jewishness (a thing not much touched in the book because Stan’s family is not very strictly religious) but was very side lined as well ( in my opinion that part about Richie being scared shitless and Bill punches him would have fit Stan better, also almost all of the Losers got closure (Bev rebelled against her father, Ben kissed Beverly and she got to find out he was the one who wrote the haiku, Bill got to talk with Georgie kind of?, Mike stepped up against Henry, Eddie confronted his mother,Richie let go of his fear to kill the fucking clown…) yet Stan doesn’t I just think it would have been nice to have him iniciate the pact as he did on the book and also his bird book????, the slut shaming and over sexualization of Beverly (I won’t even go into how much it broke my heart to see/hear Richie saying all that stuff about her like no, he respected her a lot thx) just why change the white trash problem to a slut shaming thing???(also while his dad did not beat her in this movie he was so much more GROSS than in the 90’s) I am however not bothered by the ‘Kiss of Life’ trope nor do I think she was reduced to a damsel in distress if anything she was the bravest of them all, also some things not really bothered me but made me wonder what will happen in Chapter 2 namely wft is gonna happen with Henry is he alive?? Same for Bev’s dad what happened there? Is he alive? Is he dead? Though of course we will get answers in chapter 2 I was just like wow how is this gonna pan out. Basically an amazing movie I was not disappointed at all and I would love to watch it again but as an adaptation I think I would still love to see a longish miniseries covering more of Derry’s history and the kid’s personalities/misadventures (of course I do not want THAT scene to be in any adaptation ever) but generally covering more book stuff. but hey all this is just my humble opinion and I admit I adore the book, though I am not closed off to changes just those things kinda made me go hmmmmmm…. Quotes: Stan: “Every- thing’s a lot tougher when it’s for real. That’s when you choke. When it’s for real.” “He wanted to tell them that those dead boys who had lurched and shambled their way down the spiral staircase had done something worse than frighten him: they had offended him.” Bill: “If fiction and politics ever really do become interchangeable, I’m going to kill myself, because I won’t know what else to do. You see, politics always change. Stories never do” “Silver flew and Stuttering Bill Denbrough flew with him; their gantry-like shadow fled behind them. They raced down Up-Mile Hill together; the playing cards roared. Bill’s feet found the pedals again and he began to pump, wanting to go even faster, wanting to reach some hypothetical speed — not of sound but of memory — and crash through the pain barrier.” Richie:“Now he had to go back to being himself, and that was hard — it got harder to do that every year. It was easier to be brave when you were someone else.” “He knew a great deal of the Bible already, and he knew the Bible believed in all sorts of weird stuff. According to the Bible, God Himself was at least one-third Ghost, and that was just the beginning. You could tell the Bible believed in demons, because Jesus threw a bunch of them out of this guy. Real chuckalicious ones, too. When Jesus asked the guy who had them what his name was, the demons answered and told Him to go join the Foreign Legion. Or something like that” (#make chuckalicious happen 2k17) Ben: “Maybe that’s why God made us kids first and built us close to the ground, because He knows you got to fall down a lot and bleed a lot before you learn that one simple lesson. You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for … and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.” “A child blind from birth doesn’t even know he’s blind until someone tells him. Even then he has only the most academic idea of what blindness is; only the formerly sighted have a real grip on the thing. Ben Hanscom had no sense of being lonely because he had never been anything but. If the condition had been new, or more localized, he might have understood, but loneliness both encompassed his life and overreached it. It simply was.” Eddie: “Sometimes home is where the heart is, Eddie thought randomly, I believe that. Old Bobby Frost said home’s the place where, when you go there they have to take you in. Unfortunately, it’s also the place where, once you’re in there, they don’t ever want to let you out.” “Maybe, he thought, there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends - maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for too, if that’s what has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.” Mike: “Haunted, haunting, haunt.Often visited by ghosts or spirits, as in the pipes under the sink; to appear or recur often, as every twenty-five, twenty-six, or twenty-seven years; a feeding place for animals, as in the cases of George Denbrough, Adrian Mellon, Betty Ripsom, the Albrecht girl, the Johnson boy.A feeding place for animals. Yes, that’s the one that haunts me.” “But Mike enjoyed most of the places in Derry his father sent or took him to, and by the time Mike was ten Will had succeeded in conveying his own interest in the layers of Derry’s history to his son. Sometimes, as when he had been trailing his fingers over the slightly pebbled surface of the stand in which the Memorial Park birdbath was set, or when he had squatted down to look more closely at the trolley tracks which grooved Mont Street in the Old Cape, he would be struck by a profound sense of time … time as something real, as something that had unseen weight” Bev: “oh shapes of men, sometimes seen as day closed down, sometimes seen across Watertower Square in the noonlight of a clear windy autumn day, shapes of men, rules of men, desires of men: or Tom, so like her father when he took off his shirt and stood slightly slumped in front of the bathroom mirror to shave. Shapes of men.” ‘Is it because I’m a girl?’[…] she exploded.‘Well, fuck you!’ She whirled around to look at the others, and they flinched from her gaze,so hot it was nearly radioactive. 'Fuck all of you if you think the same thing!’ She turned back to Bill and began to talk fast, rapping him with words. 'This is something more than some diddlyshit kid’s game like tag or guns or hide-and-go-seek, and you know it, Bill. We’re supposed to do this. That’s part of it. And you’re not going to cut me out just because I’m a girl.“ Adding this one cuz I love how stupidly cute it is and cuz that Richie is such a charmer XD (wot-wot?) ”[…]'Oh dear, am I being asked out on a date?’ For a moment Richie was uncharacteristically flustered. He actually felt a blush rising in his cheeks. He had made the offer in a perfectly natural way, just as he had made it to Ben … except hadn’t he said something to Ben about owesies? Yes. But he hadn’t said anything about owesies to Beverly. Richie suddenly felt a bit weird. He had dropped his eyes, retreating from her amused glance, and realized now that her skirt had ridden up a bit when she shifted forward to drop the ice-cream cone in the litter barrel, and he could see her knees. He raised his eyes but that was no help; now he was looking at the beginning swells of her bosoms. Richie, as he usually did in such moments of confusion, took refuge in absurdity. 'Yes! A date!’ he screamed, throwing himself on his knees before her and holding his clasped hands up. 'Please come! Please come! I shall ruddy kill meself if you say no, ay-wot? Wot-wot?’ 'Oh, Richie, you’re such a fuzzbrain,’ she said, giggling again … but weren’t her cheeks also a trifle flushed? If so, it made her look prettier than ever. 'Get up before you get arrested.’“

Next Book: “The Eyes of the Dragon”

[aion-rsa]

The Horrific Return of John Constantine to the Sandman Universe

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John Constantine returns in the appropriately titled Sandman Universe: Hellblazer. Si Spurrier tells us all about it.

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John Constantine is on his way back to the Sandman Universe. Simon Spurrier (The Dreaming, X-Men: Legacy) will be writing a John Constantine book for DC’s Black Label imprint with art by Marcio Takara called The Sandman Universe Presents: Hellblazer, which arrives on Oct. 30. Neil Gaiman kicked off his curated Sandman Universe label last year, and since then The Dreaming, Books of Magic, House of Whispers, and Lucifer have been continuing the tradition that Gaiman and his bevvy of dream-come-true-artists started decades ago in the pages of Vertigo's Sandman. And now everyone's favorite con man, chain smoking wizard is going back to the dark realms of a DC mature label imprint. Writer Si Spurrier told us about what dark dreams await John Constantine... 

Den of Geek: So what drew you to Hellblazer? It kind of feels like you should have already written the book. And it’s going to be very difficult not to say the word "Vertigo" during this interview. 

Si Spurrier: People will understand what we’re talking about if we accidently Vert. Hellblazer, it’s the character I fell in love with when I first started reading comics. There was a time when I was a teenager that any sufficiently ambitious British writer of comics would sort of expect to get a go there. But I never got my chance, and I felt cheated for many years. I never expected to get my opportunity. 

read more: 13 Essential Horror Comics

But John is a character I’ve accidently written in other places. What I love about John Constantine, and this will sound strange, is that he’s extremely honest. I don’t mean that in the sense that he’s an honest person when he deals with other people, because he’s not; he’s a liar and a cheat and a con man and a nasty piece of work. But he’s honest with himself. He’s self-aware. He knows who and what he is and doesn’t pretend to be a hero. He doesn’t pretend to be good as gold. He’s utterly guilt ridden because he knows he’s done all the wrong things for all the right reasons and he will continue to do so because he can’t stop. So he’s a bastard with a conscience, and I feel like that describes me (laughs). So, that’s what has always drawn to the character.

You’re not going to pick my pocket or turn me into anything, are you?

Maybe. No. (laughs).

So talk about how you got the Constantine gig. He was on the DC side of things, now he’s on the, well, not Vertigo side of things. Were you involved in pulling him over to the Sandman Universe?

So the Sandman Universe is four titles based on ideas that Neil had when he decided that there were more Sandman stories to be told. So he handpicked four writers, myself included, to come up with the directions. A new editor came in to what was at the time still Vertigo, and part of the demand, this was Chris Conroy, amazing guy, his dream was to bring back Hellblazer. That was part of the deal. In doing so, they asked Neil if he had any thoughts on that. And Neil, quite rightly, identified that as a result of the character and the continuity he went through, like Hellblazer #300 which ended many years ago on an ambiguous note, the character shows up in many different versions and different forms in the DCU and in many series that might or might not be in the DCU. And it’s very difficult to, if your stated goal is to launch a Hellblazer series that returns to traditional Hellblazer continuity, which is mature, horror-centric, character led, nuanced fiction…

British.

Yes, British with all the swear words and grimy as fuck. If you want that, than you have to start accepting that there’s a whole lot of hurdles to jump over first. There’s a real tangle of continuity. So Neil’s idea was: he recalled that over 20 years ago Neil did a book called Books of Magic. In one of those issues, a young character named Timothy Hunter, a young wizard, is taken on a tour of the future. In one of the visions, Tim encounters a magical war to end all wars. Tim found out it’s sort of his fault. It’s a future version of himself causing all this. In the midst of that, he finds an older, angrier, more exasperated version of John Constantine who is dying. He’s sitting in a puddle of his own blood, blaming this little kid for causing all this chaos. Neil realized that what this particular potential version of John Constantine represents is the same John Constantine that was in all those amazing Hellblazer issues. A little bit older and going through some stuff which sidesteps all continuity, if we just take that character, pick him up, and pop him back into our world. So that’s what the special does. It’s my attempt to acknowledge and untangle some of the tangley continuity of Constantine’s life, and then move, in quite a neat way, into the ongoing tone of the book, as we said, back in London, with a nuanced horror theme.

How does this new title fit into the Sandman of it all? It seems that Hellblazer was Hellblazer, Neil used John in one memorable issue of Sandman, and Joanna Constantine was kind of a recurring character in Sandman.

They’re all quite incestuous and interrelated, all those titles. There’s not a really overt Sandman to the new Constantine series inasmuch it spins out of the Books of Magic which is very part of Neil’s world. It’s very much a mechanism to get John back to where he was. I have ideas about how Hellblazer might end up in some of the stuff we’ve been doing on The Dreaming and other Sandman Universe books, but it won’t be straight away. I feel like we need to focus on what John does best which is short, self-contained arcs of John investigating strange goings on in London while a bigger picture grows in the background. 

Can you talk about the artists on the series?

The special is drawn by Marcio Takara, who is art royalty. He’s got this amazing job of reconciling the Constantine that many readers have been reading lately, the DCU version, with our grimy and dirtier version. The nature of this 48 page special is to take him from one extreme to another which Marcio handles beautifully.

read more: The 13 Scariest Moments in Afterlife With Archie

The ongoing series is drawn by Aaron Campbell who was just born to draw this stuff. He did a book called Infidel which won a bunch of awards; it’s a really good book. He just typifies the buttoned down, something not quite right sinisterness of Hellblazer. He draws London like I imagine London. Living there for years and years, you can’t go out in the drizzle without suspecting things are hidden just out of your sight. That’s what you feel when you see an Aaron page, you’re seeing just the surface there, something haunted for eons of horror and agony. 

Are there any other writers or projects that inspired your Hellblazer?

Not directly. Obviously I’ve done a deep dive on all the previous Hellblazer. There’s some great stuff in there. The Ennis run and the Delano run that gets me every time. Mike Carey did a great run.

How has Neil contributed to the project other than the lead in from Books of Magic?

In the first Sandman Universe Presents, the first four titles, he was quite hands on with inciting events from which are books spun out. With this, Hellblazer, he’s provided the idea that we can have our cake and eat it. We can steal the future version of John from a hero quest 20 years ago. Other than that, he has left me to it. I was extremely honored. Having this conversation with Chris, I had no idea what was going on. Chris went to Neil and said he wanted to relaunch Hellblazer. He asked Neil if he had any ideas, and Neil said, “Funny you should ask; I do.” They both immediately asked for me to write it. 

That must feel good. Are there any other Vertigo characters you would like to get your hands on?

Oh, endless. DCU, Vertigo, my problem is that I have more ideas than I’ll ever be able to do. I can bore you. Things like Unknown Soldier. Haunted Tank. A daft title, but I can do so much extraordinary stuff with that. Name a DCU character.

This isn’t the question you asked me, but years ago I wrote a book for Marvel called X-Men: Legacy with David Haller, Legion. And as a result of the nature of that character, it became a story of mental illness, and, in my view, it became a sensitive and clever story about mental illness, and I’m hugely proud of that. By the way, I’ve never been to one of these shows like New York where someone hasn’t come up to me and thanked me for changing their life. The answer to that is, I didn’t change your life, you changed your life. It’s a story. it’s about empowerment.

read more: 14 Times Dracula Fought Marvel Superheroes

As a result of doing that story, I think I sort of became the cerebral weirdo guy who wrote thoughtful stories rather than heroes punching each other. So I’ve never really been given a chance and I love that stuff and can do that stuff. So that’s sort of the next journey. I’ve got my hands on John Constantine; that’s all my Christmases at once and I’ll write it as long as they let me. But I’ve also got the need to go to a place with the more hopeful and heroic stories. 

Can you talk about how Hellblazer starts off, what’s next for The Dreaming, and the future of the Sandman titles?

So, the Hellblazer ongoing opens, what’s different about it, is that where previously, one of John’s main characteristics is that he has this endless supply of old friends, allies, and lovers whom he can call to get help or seek favors. He usually ends up betraying them or throwing them under the bus. When our story starts he doesn’t have that. He’s almost a stranger in a strange land who doesn’t know anybody. We have to watch him start from scratch, to start collecting people, and he’s not very keen on doing it.

At the same time, there is a mysterious something happening. In the best traditions of Hellblazer and the "American Gothic" arc, the way it works is small doses of horror, three issues, two issues at a time, all of which contribute to the macro arc. The first three issues is a story called “A Green and Pleasant Land.” It centers on a gang of drug dealers whose home turf in London is haunted by what seems to be a group of angels who skin people. The gang calls in John who doesn’t want anything to do with it, but he’s compelled to investigate and do something about it.

In The Dreaming, there’s a big beat coming where all the stuff that I pitched when I get that gig is sort of coming together and congealing, all the dominos are being flipped. I can’t say much more than that without spoiling a lot of stuff. 

For the future of the Sandman Universe, it’s just sort of ticking away. There are more ideas than we’ll ever get a chance to use. Neil is a benevolent overseer who drops in and says, “You should dial that bit up, or dial that back down,” but absolutely trusts us to just get it done and run with our ideas. It’s the best sort of curating you could ask for. 

The Sandman Universe Presents: Hellblazer arrives on Oct. 30.

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Interview Marc Buxton

Oct 25, 2019

DC Entertainment

John Constantine

Hellblazer

The Sandman

NYCC

NYCC 2019

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[tessatechaitea]

Justice League #33

I hate variant covers based on other current comic book stories.

Due to holding hands, they morph together to become the Omni-Monitor.

Is Scott Snyder suggesting children should band together and rise up to overthrow their parents? Even if it were to save the world, there's no way you'd get me to merge with my sister. Gross. Why is Snyder even suggesting such a possibility?! Weirdo. John Stewart finally mentions he's an architect while speaking with Alan Scott. His days as an architect have been overshadowed by his days as a marine pretty much since the New 52 began. Although I'm not sure he's really concerned with his days as an architect when he follows up "I'm a soldier and an architect" with "Both work on the belief that every fight, every founding struggle, serves an overall climb." Maybe he's confusing a career architect with the more metaphorical use of architect when discussing the framers of the constitution or the founding fathers attempting to build democracy. I don't ever remember Mike Brady discussing his work as if every job were a fight or a struggle serving an overall climb. Mostly he was just desperate to impress his boss with new designs of theme parks as he pulled out posters of Yogi Bear. The plan to defeat Luthor and Perpetua needs impeccable timing so of course one part of the plan fires off before it should. That part is Hawkwoman. Lex Luthor gets in her head and she flips the fuck out just the way a good Hawkperson always does. Now she might burn out all of her energy before Starman can set up a cosmic link between the Justice League in the past using the Conch of Arion to establish their position and the Justice League in the future getting their ass kicked by Brainiac One Million as Kamandi comes up with a plan to link with Starman. The plan is so complex I figured it needed an equally complex sentence to explain it. Everybody in the past and everybody in the future are acting as if what they do is urgent. Why? Why is it urgent? The action happening in the present isn't happening at the same time as the action happening in the future and the past. The guys in the past can take years to get the job done and it wouldn't matter! Just because I, as an independent observer, am reading all of these story arcs at the same time, it doesn't mean the stories are happening at the same time. Starman can just contact the people in the future and the past exactly at the point they're ready for him whenever he thinks it's convenient to contact them! He doesn't have to wait until they accomplish whatever they're doing. Whatever they need done has already been accomplished! Especially the deed in the past but also the deed in the future, by the way all of this shit works. I mean, the future still exists for the Justice League to travel to so Starman must be successful in the present. Right?! Is that how time works?! I know I'm discussing comic book time travel but I'd still like some kind of structure to the logic of it all!

It's always a bad idea to introduce more interesting characters as second stringers or background actors into the middle of an epic. Because now I don't give a fuck about Luthor and the Legion of Doom. I want more Vandal Savage and the Legionnaires Club stories!

Apparently everything is going wrong and the multiverse is going to succumb to doom. And only one kid can save it all: Kamandi, the last girl on Earth! But she realizes that she can't save the multiverse by herself because the multiverse can't be saved by just one person and also it can't be saved by just however many people compromise the current Justice League and Justice Society. No, the exact amount of people to save the multiverse includes Batman Beyond and his Justice League! Why they weren't helping before or why they exist in Kamandi's world, I have no idea. Maybe Kamandi jumped from one Brainiac jar to the next to find them? You know what, I don't care. I don't even care that Batman Beyond is entering into this comic book. I was never that interested in it and was even less interested in it when it turned out he was Tim Drake just before Tim Drake became a vampire and time traveled back to the twenty-first century to become Harvest. Justice League #33 Rating: I don't know. Who am I to rate somebody else's work? If you enjoy comic book writing and art, this is probably an A. Unless you only like the specific comic book writing and art paid for by Marvel and then this is probably a big fat F unless you can think of a lower grade. Maybe you just love Snyder's work because you're James Tynion IV and then this is an Omni-A+. But then again, you might be a comicsgater who hates that there are so many female and black characters in this comic book which is obviously just pandering because when you think like a comicsgater, what else is there, in which case this is a big Cuck-F-Doodle-Doo! I don't fucking care what anybody thinks and I don't know why anybody cares what I ultimately think. Just read the stupid jokes I made about the comic and my parents and fucking be happy with that! I'm not here to tell you what to think otherwise! I'm probably even going to drop the rating part so that you jerks can start thinking for yourselves!

[peanutdracolich]

Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: IT (1990)

So yeah I know this isn't the sexy new film, and that as a 3 hour miniseries created to be watched in 2 sittings (I intend to watch it in 1 day but with an intermission) it will be odd to judge. Still I'm not watching it for the story. I'm watching it for the Tim Curry.

And Tim Curry does not disappoint. Neither does Jonathan Brandis as the young Bill. As a TV miniseries It was of course a different viewing experience than a movie. Mostly in ways that hurt it as I suspect it was because it was made to be watched with commercials that they defaulted to silence and didn’t try and use music to hold and create tension except sporadically and during the journeys into the underworld. Oh and the film really makes me think of the Hero’s Journey.

So first things first: Was the film good? The answer is kind of.

Part 1 I would say was roughly at the level of the Omen, and slightly below as Horror. Still it had strong performances from Tim Curry and Jonathan Brandis (actually all the children put forth a pretty good showing), good pacing, a good ending, and is mostly held back by an unsatisfying score, and just not quite being able to clench the deal and bring all the elements together. As a story it was better than the Omen, it just couldn’t get everything to quite fit together.

Part 2 is noticeably worse than Part 1. The adult actors give significantly less gripping performances. The pacing is worse. It introduces things that make me go ‘what are Pennywise’s limits?’, and ‘What are deadlights?’ with no resolution. There’s less Tim Curry. It’s a much weaker half. I think I’d have actively sort of hated it if I had really tried to watch it 100% attention for both halves back to back (past 2 hours for horror they tend to grate on me I’ve noticed). That said it did give conclusions to things, but the heroic narrative despite actually giving a more complete resolution to the Hero’s Journey is weaker. It’s the weaker half.

Overall the film was ok, but not great. Functional horror but failed to give the grade A creep, or real scares. If you like Tim Curry it’s worth the watch, he makes a good villain, but if you don’t you’re a monster! No not really, but you probably won’t enjoy it much.

So the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly:

The Good:

Tim Curry as Pennywise: Tim Curry is good at creepy. While I am glad he wasn’t the animated Joker (Hamill’s job was perfect), Curry is good at the villain, and Pennywise is legitimately creepy and many times I felt I should have been scared... I just sort of wasn’t.

The Kids: The Losers Club as children are pretty good. They’re characters that I care about, and enjoy seeing. Bill gets some real feelings, and they seem rather in the role.

The Journey: I am not the greatest King fan. That said I now want to read the book, because the basic story was good and interesting. This is not a ‘it makes me feel like I need to read the book to get the story’, but that it did in fact have a legitimately interesting story beyond the monster and horror elements.

The Bad:

The Score: I noticed an hour in that things weren’t working right and realized that I couldn’t say anything about the music except that it had had no emotional effect. They then entered the sewer and started using generic horror music. Which was an improvement. But when bad music is an improvement there’s an issue. In the 2nd part while actively looking for and trying to note the music I could still not find any useful emotional effect and a disappointing tendency to default to silence in a way that didn’t make silence creepy. I’m suspicious this is a side effect of made for TV and commercial breaks being liable to ruin it. But really I’m not sure.

The Adult Losers: Partially it was thematic and narrative, them becoming actual losers despite being successful, which made them come off as less likeable, but in general the adult actors just didn’t sell their roles. The kids felt earnest and heartfelt, like they were really playing it. The adults just felt sort of like they were phoning it in a bit. It’s disappointing.

The Ugly:

I Feel like I Need to Read the Book: What are Deadlights? Is there something to the Deadlights, or could they have just mentioned the light and not given it the fancy name and made it actually a little scarier? While normally I’d put this as a bad (I am still sore about Universal’s Mummy on this). For the most part I don’t feel it’s really necessary, and if I hadn’t already looked up a bit about the book (space turtle) I might not feel this way. Still not the best quality.

The Spider: My first thought was it looked like a butt with legs and two human arms dangling from the cheeks. The next glance made it look better but it was still an ugly thing. And true to King adaptation tradition the final effects for it sort of made me want to laugh.

The Play by Play:

The start is... good for TV horror. I'd say it's not super impressive for 80s movie horror, but it's basically functional. Girl sees clown. Girl disappears. There was an X-Files episode like this.

 6 children, though. This is part of a string of them. And the black police library knows something. Elements of this are familiar. You get the feel that he's dealt with this before; that this is a return to what has happened before.

 We see Stephen King... I mean Bill the horror writer for a time before the Library calls him and now we get a flashback to a group of kids swearing that "if it isn't dead, we'll all come back"

 I think we're getting an hour and a half long flashback now.

 Georgie (Bill's younger brother) is being sent into the basement to get some sealing wax for a paper boat. And he's scared of the basement but not killed there. He's going outside, though, watching the boat run down through the storm water. Bill obviously cares for the kid even if he considers him a brat.

 Still Georgie meets the Clown looking up at him from a storm drain. He introduces himself as Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Convinces Georgie to reach in and then... NEEDLE CLOWN TEETH

 We have a funeral now. Bill is either hallucinating or being fucked with by an evil reality warping clown.

 Oh we're out of flashback. Bill let himself forget everything, he blocked it out, and now he knows he has to go home and do what must be done. Also his childhood stutter is back. He's horrified, and he doesn't want his wife to come, and yet he won't really tell her what's going on (because he's sound like a crazy freak).

 We get our next member of the group. A dude who got some award of some sort for... Either heavy drinking or architecture he seems to do both. I'm going to call him Beard face till he has a name (so far we have Mike and Bill). He used to be fat. Why is he telling a woman this while making out with her? She doesn't care or want to know. Ben gets the Call (to Adventure) from Mike. He cannot refuse the call, though like Bill he tries. 18 minutes in and I want to get a flowchart of the hero's journey. Well ok, his refusal lasts like 10 seconds. He then decides he isn't drunk enough. He needs to get double falling down drunk. And maybe kill himself. Killing himself could be good too. Dude off the roof. No not off that way. You shouldn't be on the roof.

 Flashback time. Ben, or as the asshole calls him 'fat boy', is a transfer student who immediately makes a new 'friend', a greaser punk who wants to pick on him, and decides that getting detention for it means that he should actively threaten the fat boy.

 Asshole's greaser friends almost chicken out when it looks like he's going to actually cut him. Ben kicks him, falls over the fence and down the hill and runs to hide in a storm pipe. They harass Bill and Asthma Kid instead causing him to have an asthma attack with an empty inhaler.

 Ben and Asthma Lad bond over dead dads while Bill fetches the new inhaler. We learn Georgie got an arm ripped off, and Asthma Lad is named Eddie.

 Ben and his cousin have... an adversarial relationship. Ben has met his dead father. Who wants him to go in the storm pipe again. And is offering balloons. He is now a clown. Now a skeleton reaching for him and covered in algae.

 We return to the present and Ben drops his bottle begging please no.

 We see the girl who Child Ben liked, Beverly, but she's now a designer and I am thinking about Designing Women. She is meeting with Japanese investors and does not get the call because her partner (and lover) doesn't let the secretary give it to her.

 She gets it that night. RL Interrupts. It's made for TV, I consider this the equivalent of a commercial break. Her boyfriend slaps her. 'You've forgotten your manners' 'It's been too long since last time' He's threatening to beat her with a belt so that she'll be stuck in the house for 2 weeks and heavily implying this is not the first time. She knocks him down with a bottle to the forehead. They're over now.

 She's also taking the call better than the rest. Best friends she's ever had. We get the mandatory flash back, and Ben is giving her a love letter. Her dad finds it and decides that receiving love poetry from a boy, that deserves a beatin', he needs to beat the slut out of her.

 We have two new people show up. And then the 6 kids start building a dam. Beverly likes Bill and believes Bill sent the poem. Ben learns this. Ben is sad child.

 Beverly is attacked by a blood filled balloon from her sink. Her dad can't see the blood. She lies about seeing a big fat spider. So he won't beat her. "You'll die if you try to fight us. You'll die if you try. You'll die if you try." Good and creepy.

 Half an hour in and we've got decent build up for the amount of character and story they're introducing. I mean it's very made for TV but it's pretty good. We don't see Eddie get the call, but he's rushing back to Vermont. His flashback will be soon.

 So right now Mike has called 4 kids, we have a 6 kid group, and this does not include Mike. We still only have a half introduction to 3 of the 7 characters. Eddie accidentally spills popcorn on the greasers, the joke kid Richie decides to mock them and pour his soda on them since they're assholes and they're gonna try and beat them up anyway so fuck it have some fun at their expense.

 Eddie's mom is overly protective and clingy. "You don't need no friends except your mom." She's still like this with his adult (and apparently successfully running a business) self.

 Pennywise is creepy clown again. The scene's effects are... functional with a touch of imagination, though elements of it could take you out. Still Pennywise is creepy.

 Richie is a successful TV comedian. With pretty bad jokes. Like just sort of unfunny build up to a so so joke. It's his child hood dream, though. I bet that didn't include puking in terror in a toilet. But that is Pennywise's fault.

 A cop scolds them a little about the dam, but really he's just trying to warn them 'there's been another child murder near hear, don't come here alone and don't split up while here.' Reasonable authority figure!

 Richie is attacked by a bad movie werewolf which becomes Pennywise. Pennywise is far scarier. I blame Tim Curry.

 We finally get Mike's flashback. I think Stan (the unnamed 6 member of the group) died. The greasers decide to fuck with him because he's black. Our group is just the people the greasers fuck with aren't they?

 Still they're swapping Pennywise stories; only Stan - the science lad - doesn't have one. That is when Mike begins to approach, and they can hear Henry's gang (increased to 5). Bill, being the leader, suggests everyone arm themselves with rocks to threaten them with.

 It's an impromptu rock fight and the Losers have the high ground, but when a rock hits Beverly, Ben shows that fuck this he will beat their sorry greaser asses.

 Still Henry has named the group: The Losers Club.

 We also learn the evil clown has been here for hundreds of years, and is able to animate pictures. And threaten to kill them from within.

 Pennywise claims to be all their fears. Stan, can't take it, he knows he saw it, like everyone else but it's impossible. I see him as dying.

 I am touched and moved by Bill's moment. The kid (actor) is good.

 And back in the present Pennywise is fucking with Mike.

 And now we get Stan's? Stan is ready to try and make a baby. Stan won't be making a baby right now. Stan will be going back home. We have 20 minutes left in part 1 and Stan... Stan isn't sure he'll come back. Still we know they all lived through the summer.

 Flashback: They are practicing their slingshot murder skills. Beverly demonstrates hers and they accredit it to fate. DIVINE AID. They then move to the threshold, preparing to enter the sewer systems and the Underworld. Really I'd say more that they've crossed the threshold, that the group gathering has been Bill's finding friends and allies, and that he's moving into the very abyss. Still this film has my mind in the Hero's Journey.

 They all take a hit of Eddie's inhalers (it's battery acid will eat through anything), and Henry watches from the bushes. He intends to drown them all to death.

 They are literally entering a dark hole in the ground to fight a monster. This is pretty direct hero's journey stuff.

 Oh Henry isn't planning to drown them just catch them and beat them horribly. 3 on 7. He intends to pincer them, but I wouldn't want to be alone in those tunnels right now.

 Meanwhile Bill leads his band of Losers through the tunnels in hunt of the great white clown.

 One of the greasers die and I realize the greatest problem of the film. It's just not enough. It never reaches the proper clench of terror, just missing it. You could blame the special effects, but 2nd rate special effects don't bother me that much, I'm actually going to say it's the music. As I noticed the lack of musical use in that scene. I mean they start using it now, but I am realizing they haven't been using it well before now and music is a huge part of horror.

 Still Henry and his other greaser friend grab Stan and no one notices for a while. As Henry threatens to literally murder him, Pennywise comes and kills the other greaser apparently as a bug monster that shines with unholy white light and pulls people into tubes. Whatever it is he turns Henry's hair white just by passing by and Stan doesn't look.

 The film is finally using music. It's not top rate, but it's better. Still doesn't quite reach fear (improper prep). Pennywise, in the form of a light surfboard passes over them and fog begins to fill the tunnels to separate them. It's a very 'why Lovecraftian films fail' moment; it feels like a bad attempt at the incomprehensible.

 It begins to play on their fears one by one. Bill's failure to protect his brother. Beverly's father. Richie's werewolf (he beats it alone). Stan's... Stan just gets grabbed by the clown.

 "I am eternal child. I am the eater of worlds and of children. And you are next!" Not if Eddie has battery acid and Beverly has a silver stone. They fight It off, and Pennywise tries to flee. Bill has his monster claw... He gets away, and makes sounds.

 Bill wants to go after it and make sure it's dead, but the rest say it's dead. Their dam never broke to flood things. Bill makes them swear to return. Stan, the Weak Link, doesn't actually swear until all the others have, skipping his turn.

 We return to the present with Stan's wife coming up to see him and... He's killed himself in the bath with a razor, writing in his blood IT.

 I'm going to take a break before part 2 but part 1 was good, though I feel it didn't have the best music and more than its TV grade effects that hurt it.

 For the Hero's Journey, Bill has had the Call (his brother's death), he didn't really refuse it but that's optional, and there's not so much a mentor. Still it moves into the threshold of the unknown the gathering of allies, the tests of his courage in the form of Henry's gang, and then the descent and ordeal of the Underworld. Beverly is the one who takes up the weapon and strikes IT, but Bill is the guiding hand of it all, he is the one who seizes the sword. They return to the surface and thus the ordinary world and he is resurrected with absolution for Georgie's death. He has made the Hero's Journey and I really do feel that King was thinking about Campbell when writing this at least from watching the film.

 Part 2 begins with Bill's visit to his little brother's grave, and Pennywise mocking them with 7 graves, one already full. Bill tells himself he's not afraid of Pennywise, but he does not really convince himself.

 There seems to be some rather active memory manipulation going on since Bill is starting to remember more and more and seems to sense when people arrive. They have been linked.

 I stop typing to eat some sardines. Still we get people attempting to relive their childhood immediately after a scene of Pennywise telling the jokester that they're too old. Pennywise interrupts. We also have Beverly returning to her childhood home to meet with her father and finding a sweet old lady who becomes her zombie dad and then Pennywise. I still feel that Bev's boyfriend was something about daddy issues born of abuse.

 Oh and Bill's wife is being hit on by her boss, who is also threatening her career. That's nice. He's a nice... horrible sleezebag and she is going back to the US anyway because... Ultimately I think he oversleezed.

 They meet at a Chinese restaurant, but Beverly faints. Bill you're a married man you shouldn't kiss her like that. Eddie breaks down when he finally remembers Pennywise.

 Bill is not telling about his wife. We also learn what happened to Henry. He went crazy and confessed to being the killer. He's still in the asylum. It is talking to him; Pennywise is goading him to murder the Losers.

 Richie wants to drop out and run. However when their fortune cookies attack, he is rather convinced to consider staying.

 They learn what Bill already suspected. Stan is dead. We get talk about what Stan saw and experienced and introduce the concept of Deadlights. What are deadlights?

 Stan's head shows up to mock them. He mocks Billy's stutter, Richie's cowardice, Ben's regaining of weight, Bev's tendency towards abusive men, Mike's getting them there, and I think he implies Eddie is gay and hiding it.

 Pennywise is pushing Henry towards Murderin' Time cause Pennywise can handle them if they only half believe, but not if they fully believe. He needs an agent. He can however kill the guy at the door. What are Pennywise's rules?

 Well ok, he apparently functions on a 30 year cycle. Also their home town is sick of spirit and has people who will watch 3 guys sexually assault and prepare to rape a young girl (no younger than them but still). Still there seems to be the hand of fate and a dark curse at work with the Losers and the town respectively. I blame the space turtle.

 Bill's wife is coming, and she encounters Pennywise. Good scene... oh god he has hypno eyes filled with deadlights. What are deadlights?

 They split the party while in the hotel. Never split the party. Never be in a hotel in a Stephen King story. Never combine the two into one!

 Pennywise impersonates Bev to make out with Ben (I'm betting it's Pennywise). Pennywise likes kissing dudes. Pennywise likes fucking with people. Oh and Mike is being murdered by Henry, but I'm going to focus on Pennywise's manipulation of people's sexual desires because eh the black guy died in a horror film. Actually this is notable in that the black guy died first (Stan didn't make it to the meet up so doesn't count). It's a famous trope (that I've rarely seen actually done except in reference to the trope) in horror, so I make note of it.

 Bev finally realizes that Ben wrote the love poem... the day after Pennywise fucks with him with the idea. Still make outs time.

 Part 2 feels slow. Like more seems to have happened in Part 1, I check the time it's 1 hour in with 30 minutes left and it feels like... it's just been slow.

 More that the town is evil and in a way part of It. Richie sees a news report about child murder and has a moment. I find myself waiting for Bill's wife to come up again in some way.

 Everyone is prepared to flee, but Bill gives a speech about how he's hellishly tired of this stuff. This is mixed to a flashback of kid Bill asking for their help and I realize I think the kids were better actors than the adults.

 "Losers fight It, Losers die." Richie, that's not right. When you fought It, when you actually fought It, you won. It's only when you've been scared of fighting It, when you've whiffled and refused the call that you have died. It's not if fight then die it's if Losers don't fight It, then Losers die.

 They find Bill's wife's purse. They seem to have been aware he had a wife. Bill is charging off alone in terror for his wife's safety.

 We get an encounter with Pennywise and then Bill launches a boat to find him, leading to a den with skeletons outside. Eddie confesses his virginity, and his inability to love people. He felt this was important. Oh the skeleton covered ogre lair door is kid sized that's a nice touch. And there's actual audio cues and play now, have been since they entered the sewer. So I can sort of see why they'd go that way, but it's still not good over all.

 They find a spider's den, Bill's wife, and... A giant spider with an ass for a head and human arms? Oh no, now the head is a head. It's alright TV movie effects. Beverly launches her silver bullet but it cannot hurt the spider's armor and then It releases the Deadlights and catch Bill, Ben, and Richie.

 Eddie tries to repeat his battery acid attack, but it too fails. His belief is not pure. Beverly reclaims a silver bullet and fires it straight into the deadlights and the spider retreats wounded. Still Eddie has died. It then ends like many Stephen King adaptations in a burst of bad special effects which come across as almost comical with them pushing the spider over and killing it barehanded.

 We now get Mike's voice over telling what happened to the rest with the curse broken. Bill's wife has gone into a prolonged state of shock, and Bill tries to break her free with the magic of his childhood bike. It works.

 I could look at part 2 with the hero's journey in mind but... it wasn't good enough.

[alexanderwrites]

Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 13

“What Story is That, Charlie?”

Last week, when we were given an episode that was slow, withholding with its information, and for many, very frustrating, I wasn’t worried. I wasn’t worried, because I knew it was just a strange, brief detour and that we should focus on the journey rather than the destination. I also didn’t worry because I thought the next episode would be better, and thankfully I was right. I’m no Angelo Badalamenti, so I won’t toot my own horn too much but I think now, hours after watching it, I’m realising that I was very right, because this isn’t just a better episode, but is one of the all time best Twin Peaks episodes. It keeps that steady pace, but there’s an alchemy of all the ingredients that’ve made this season so great, which tonight forms a cohesive, exciting and deeply involving hour of television. 

. It’s party time for the Mitchum brothers, and party time for the soundtrack producers who give us one of the wildest and weirdest cuts yet. I don’t know how to describe it other than it being a demented casino style nonsense song, and I might be wrong, but the percussion pattern sounds a lot like a sped up version of the drumming in The Bookhouse Boys, a track from the Season 1 soundtrack. It’s nice seeing Coop enjoying himself, and it’s funny how happy he has made the Mitchum brothers, Janey-E, and his boss. The fact that he can still manage this despite being a silent, largely unresponsive man who walks into glass doors, speaks to the innate happiness that Cooper has always brought people, only this time it’s accidental. People want him around, and I think it’d be quite a bittersweet ending if he does wake up and leave for Twin Peaks. Yes, it’d be satisfying for us, but Janey-E wouldn’t have her husband anymore, Sonny Jim wouldn’t have a dad, and The Mitchum Brothers wouldn’t have anyone to buy pie for. Before it becomes the Everybody Loves Dougie show, Anthony steps in to put an end to him, but even he can’t bring himself to poison Dougie to death! So Dougie-Coop has his sharp black suit, a black coffee and a piece of cherry pie. Whereas we once would’ve said “THIS will be what wakes him up!”, we’ve stopped expecting it and instead learned to enjoy the pleasure he takes in scoffing the stuff down. While it can feel melancholy when signifiers from his past edge him towards who he used to be, some of these episodes hint at the idea that maybe he’s happy where he is. We want him to get back to his old self, but do we want that for him or for us? He’s had the food and drink that he loves, he’s walking around amazed by everything, and even uncovered a considerable crime. Everything about him is there, really. And I’m beginning to feel like that’s enough for me. Then the Fusco Brothers attain a crucial piece of the puzzle that’d help get Cooper back home, decide to throw it out, and I laugh “FOR FUCK’S SAKE”. Dougie’s prints reveal that he was an FBI Agent and broke out of a maximum security prison, and away this is tossed because of its unlikeliness. It’s funny, really. Because it is unlikely, it is absurd, and that such an important fact has been discovered and thrown out immediately by the police is hilariously frustrating. I loved this moment, Eric Edelstein’s weird and distinctive laugh commenting on how ridiculous this all is.

. I love how adoringly Janey E looks at Cooper when she opens the car door for him. They’ve come a long way since she was angrily cramming him into the car, and it’s nice to see her not suffering the financial burden that the original Dougie left her in. Naomi Watts is really effective when painting Janey E as someone rediscovering feelings for her husband, and it’s actually kind of touching. And Sonny Jim’s Gym is so fucking bizarre. Why does it play music-box versions of Tchaikovsky? Why does it have a prison-style search light? Why anything? I love it.  

Continuing in the lovey-dovey, not-so-bad-after-all vein of things, this season has had a lot of characters turn out to be not quite as awful as you expect them to be. The Mitchum Brothers showed a kind of generosity, Ben Horne is an altruist, and Anthony has a breakdown in front of his boss and Dougie, claiming he wants to be a better man. I mean, you can’t call him a good person just because he didn’t MURDER COOPER, but it’s nice to get a variety of technically bad people who, when it boils down to it, don’t really want to be that bad. It’s not such a bad world after all, hey?

. Actually yes it because fucking Doppelcoop is on the warpath again, and this time he’s getting what he wants via arm wrestling, just like Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top. And just like Sly claims himself to be in Over The Top, Doppelcoop is a machine, and the amount of control he displays in this scene is really quite frightening. “It hurts when you had my arm like this. Let’s go back to starting position. It’s really much more comfortable”, he says, arm-wrestling a boss of a bunch of bastards so that he can get to bad old Ray. He demonstrates that he has the entire arm-wrestle under his control, and can position his arm wherever he wants without exerting force. He can win, and kill, without trying. This is who Doppelcooper is, and why he is such a formidable force. He rarely exerts power, but when he does it is effortless and unstoppable. He will get what he wants, and every piece of his journey has been carefully manipulated and decided by him, and that’s what this scene shows. The gang watching on heavily resemble the spirits above the convenience store in FWWM, and I think this is a purposeful visual metaphor, a way to tie them visually to the evil that lurks upstairs. When Doppelcoop wins, he gets Ray and the scene that follows is an immensely satisfying one. 

The ring that we’ve seen numerous times gets a visual explanation, sort of. Ray wears it when he is killed by Doppelcoop. It then disappears to the black lodge, where his soul shows up shortly after. It seems to say quite clearly that wear the ring when you die, and you end up on that famous zig zag floor, with fucking Mike. What a bummer he’d be to spend eternity with. Before Ray snuffs it, he talks about Phillip Jeffries, who sent Ray to kill Doppelcoop because he has something he wants, which is Bob, who is in hot demand this season. I’m glad to hear Jeffries mentioned again, and part of me still holds out hope that David Bowie filmed a super duper secret cameo before he passed away, but i’m not counting on it. Maybe the closest we’ll get to seeing him is that mysterious blinking box all those episodes ago. But, Ray claims that he was last seen at a place called The Dutchman’s, and this is all Doppelcoop needs to hear. Ray’s death feels big, not necessarily because he was an important character, but because they discuss Jeffries, the ring and Major Briggs, which all ties into the mythology of the show, a mythology which was also discussed last week with Albert. Now listen, i’m easily pleased when it comes to the Twin Peaks lore - say the words ‘lodge’, ‘blue book’ or even ‘Owl’ to me and i’ll begin jittering in excitement. I may even sick up. But this is more important and integral to the storyline that simply chucking out bits of lore, and that makes it so much fucking cooler. Doppelcoop is working towards it, the Bookhouse Boys are heading towards it and the FBI are heading towards it. The idea of them converging is too fucking exciting to process. So. Ray is dead (Nobody Loved Raymond), and Doppelcoop is on his way to either Twin Peaks via the coordinates that Ray gave him, or The Dutchman’s, wherever the hell that is. 

. Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh are still driving around and i’m guessing, will hook back up with Doppelcoop soon. Their scenes are usually very short, but they’re both such great actors that i’m fine to just hear them shoot the shit for a couple of minutes. 

. Back in Twin Peaks, Becky is still having domestic issues, and Shelly is still being a warm and kind Mum, telling Becky to get to the Double R and have some pie. It’s strange seeing her serving there all these years on, and strange seeing Bobby at the counter, especially because all the camera angles that used to capture the diner are absent, and we’re seeing the place in a completely different visual manner. It feels much more like a legitimate restaurant now, and this is developed with Norma discussing business options with who seems to be her boyfriend. So, no. She didn’t end up with Big Ed, and like Bobby watching Shelly and wondering what might’ve been, Ed watches Norma from a booth further down. He can see her clearly, but she’s a world away. There’s a deep melancholy in seeing Big Ed alone, things clearly not having worked out with either Norma or Nadine. The past, when things looked hopeful, feel like a million years ago, and everything has changed since then. Except for him. Bobby has grown up and become someone his father would’ve been proud of, Norma is franchising, Nadine has perfected the silent drapes. But Big Ed is still pining across the shiny tables for Norma like it’s 1990. 

And Norma is trying to keep things as they are, too. She’s encouraged to change the name of the restaurant, but she wants to keep it as it is, the way people know it. It’s an argument that summarises the attitude of The Return: do you give in and listen to what you’re being told people want, or do you follow your gut and make choices you are passionate about, in the way that you decide? Thank god Lynch and Frost didn’t listen to anyone. Norma knows what the Double R means to the people of the town, and she knows how much people need it, as a source of comfort and of solace. And she can franchise, and have restaurants popping up that try to be the real deal, but there’s really only one Double R, and there’s only one Twin Peaks. And in these scenes, that feeling of solace and comfort feels close yet a million miles away: unmistakably warm, but shot through with that heartrending, small town melancholy. There’s nothing quite like it.

(A little thing I noticed about Bobby - he says he found his dad’s old stuff “today” - but they found his stuff several episode ago, and since then Bobby has been seen at night. So is this Double R scene not chronological, and is actually set a few days back?)

. The reason that the comfort of the Double R feels somehow distant, unattainable and kind of false is because of scenes like Audrey’s in this episode. We can’t sit in the diner and pretend everything is okay in the town, when we know a storm is brewing outside. The argument has moved on between her and Charlie, from being about what has happened to how Audrey feels. And how she feels is heartbreaking. Like she’s not herself and that she doesn’t know who she is, and Charlie’s reaction? Scorn. Condescension. Treating her like the teenager she was when we last saw her. The scene has moved away from feeling frustrating and into nightmarish territory, the wood panelling of the walls making the room feel like a cabin in purgatory, or a real life black lodge. And Charlie’s words become more vague, and more frightening. He speaks of ‘ending her story’, and the discomfort of this scene really brings into the question the dynamics between the two, who he really is, and where they really are. The scene develops an emotional core to the storyline, and we begin to desperately want Audrey to get out from between these two worlds that she’s stuck in, and to leave that horrible room. Like Big Ed, like Cooper and like so many others, she is trying to return, but is stuck. 

. How they’ve managed to make the Palmer living room look more frightening than it did before is beyond me. Sarah drinks and smokes in the sickly darkness, watching a 15 second loop of an ancient boxing match which repeats ad nauseum, like the electric bear that spoke the words “Hello Johnny, how are you today?” endlessly a few episodes back. It feels nightmarish, and you want it to end. But it is stuck. Are we sensing the theme in play here again? The room feels angry and oppressive, and it’s reasonable to expect something evil and awful to materialise in it at any moment. But the horror is not Bob, or the ceiling fan, but the situation of Sarah: a woman who has lost everything, and whose life is full of dread and solitude. 

. Nadine and Dr Jacoby’s interaction is lovely, and feels like a genuine moment between two old friends who haven’t seen each other for many years. Except one has an eyepatch and a silent drape running shop and the other sells golden shit shovels via his angry livestreams. The point is, it feels real, and Wendy Robie still beautifully imbues Nadine with that almost schoolgirlish nervousness and innocence. She is pure in her exuberance towards Jacoby and her drapes, and she seems star struck by her former doctor. I’m so fond of Nadine, and there is a moment that hints at a sadness or darkness in her past, when Jacoby remembers seeing her on her hands and knees in a supermarket trying to pick up a potato. “There was a storm that night”, he says, and she looks afraid, and sad. What happened to her? What happened to all these people in this town? What has time done to them, and why do they all have to live with such pain? 

. And before we know it, we’re back at the Roadhouse, and this week we have probably the most divisive (read: unpopular) performer yet. Yes, it’s James Forehead Hurley, singing Just You and I. I can’t pretend to feel how i’m supposed to feel as a Twin Peaks fan and hate on this, because truly, I loved this moment. I loved it more than any roadhouse scene yet, and I have a big soft spot for James. The poor bastard had a rough time of it, and yes, he was a moody mope, but I feel for him. I was moved by seeing him received so well by the audience, and seeing him perform that song (which I will now have in my head for the next fortnight) made him look young and happy again, and I found it massively touching. It was a bittersweet moment of nostalgic melancholy, elevated by the image of Big Ed back at the Gas Farm, eating his Double R soup all alone. 

There Ed sits, thinking about how things were, and how they are now. Or maybe it’s us that’s thinking about it. Because we can listen to old songs, and sit in the Double R eating cherry pie, but we know evil forces are on their way to town, and already exist there. There is a goodness too, in the log lady, the bookhouse boys, in Ed, Norma, and Nadine. But they’ve been through too much to have that innocence, and the questions that The Return brings us is how can we ever go back to the way things were? And how much power do we have to prevent the bad things from happening again? I’ve been thinking of the song Ohm by Yo La Tengo, where they sing:

“Sometimes the bad days maintain their grip Sometimes the good days fade...

But nothing ever stays the same Nothing's explained”

That feeling, that we might never get back the good days, and that it doesn’t always happen for a clear reason, is prevalent in tonight’s episode, which explores how the characters that populate the show feel. It might not be explained exactly what has happened, but as well as starting to piece together the mystery, Part 13 interrogates the deepest emotional wells of the show, and it results in a moving and beautiful episode that deftly blends darkly satisfying plot progression and emotional complexity (I know it’s weird to call an episode where someone is punched in the face to death “beautiful”, but i’m sticking with it). 

“I’m not sure who I am, but I’m not me”

[theadmiringbog]

Steven Pressfield

I’m 74. Believe me, you’ve got all the time in the world. You’ve got ten lifetimes ahead of you. Don’t worry about your friends “beating” you or “getting somewhere” ahead of you. Get out into the real dirt world and start failing. Why do I say that? Because the goal is to connect with your own self, your own soul. Adversity. Everybody spends their life trying to avoid it. Me too. But the best things that ever happened to me came during the times when the shit hit the fan and I had nothing and nobody to help me. Who are you really? What do you really want?

--

Susan Cain

I wanted writing to be a permanent source of pleasure, and never to be associated with financial stress or, more generally, the pressure to achieve.

--

Terry Crews

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession?

“Work hard to beat the competition.” 

The truth is that competition is the opposite of creativity. If I am working hard to beat the competition, it actually prevents me from thinking creatively to make all concepts of competition obsolete.

This competitive mindset destroys people. It’s the scorched-earth way of thinking, and everyone is burned.

The truth is that you need the success of everyone in your field in order to achieve your own success. Creativity operates differently. You work hard because you’re inspired to, not because you have to. Work becomes fun, and you have energy for days because this life is not a “young man’s game.” It is an “inspired person’s game.”

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? 

I realized that I had to let people leave my life, never to return.

It’s the realization that there is a “will to pleasure,” a “will to power” and, in the words of Viktor Frankl, a “will to meaning.” You won’t take a bullet for pleasure or power, but you will for meaning.

--

“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” 

–Niels Bohr Danish physicist and Nobel Prize winner

--

“These individuals have riches just as we say that we ‘have a fever,’ when really the fever has us.” 

–Seneca Roman Stoic philosopher, famed playwright

--

Mike Maples, Jr.

Ego is about who’s right. Truth is about what’s right.

--

“Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’”

—C. S. Lewis

--

Aniela Gregorek

... our Eating Out Jar, Happiness Jar, and others. The three of us are strong-willed individuals with distinct preferences, and the Eating Out Jar came out of a struggle. Each time we talked about going out to eat, we would spend so much energy bickering that we would be exhausted or discouraged by the time we finally chose. It was not fun. The same situation occurred with choosing an activity for the weekend.

--

Amelia Boone

For every major event in my life—everything from races to job changes to breakups—I assign a song. Most of these come organically: what I was listening to at the time, lyrics that spoke to me at a moment in my life, or a song I sang on repeat during a race (a common habit of mine). I keep these songs in a playlist, ordered chronologically. I can go back through and listen to that playlist and relive major experiences, both highs and lows, in my life.

--

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

I define faith as the ability to hear the music beneath the noise.

...

If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere, what would it say, and why? It would say three words: “Live. Give. Forgive.” They are by far the most important things in life.

--

Julia Galef

One distraction I’ve learned to avoid is consuming media that’s just telling me things I already know and agree with.”

--

Annie Duke

When two extreme opinions meet, the truth lies generally somewhere in the middle. Without exposure to the other side, you will naturally drift toward the extremes and away from the truth of the matter.

...

Poker has taught me to disconnect failure from outcomes. Just because I lose doesn’t mean I failed, and just because I won doesn’t mean I succeeded—not when you define success and failure around making good decisions that will win in the long run.

What matters is the decisions I made along the way, and every decision failure is an opportunity to learn and adjust my strategy going forward. By doing this, losing becomes a less emotional experience and more an opportunity to explore and learn.

--

“There is no exact answer to the question ‘what is the meaning of life.’ It’s like asking a chess master ‘what is the best move in the world?’ It all depends on what situation you are in.”

-- Victor Frankl

--

“The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.” 

–Bill Gates Co-founder of Microsoft

--

“What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn’t have any doubt—it is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn’t want to go anywhere else.”

—Hal Boyle

--

Maria Sharapova

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours? 

In my profession, losses are often seen as failures. Not being the person who wins the last point, walking off the court first. All those visible things. But internally, losing sets you up for winning. Losing makes you think in ways victories can’t. You begin asking questions instead of feeling like you have the answers. Questions open up the doors to so many possibilities. If a loss sets me up for those tough questions I might have to ask, then I will get the answers that will ultimately turn those losses into victories.

--

Jason Fried

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession?

No, don’t scale. Start small, stay as small as possible for as long as possible. Grow in control, not out of control.

--

“Raise capital to launch a software/services business.” No, bootstrap. As in life, we form business habits early on. If you raise money, you’ll get good at spending money. If you bootstrap, you’ll be forced to get good at making money.

...

I’ve always been pretty good at saying no, but over the last couple of years I’ve come up with a new rule. If the ask is more than a week away, I almost always say no, regardless of what is it. Exceptions include family things I need to attend, and a conference or two I really want to speak at, but other than that, if the “yes” would tie me to something further than a week or so out, it’s almost always a no.

I always explain why and say something like, “Thanks for the invitation, but I just can’t commit to anything more than a day or so in advance. I need to keep my schedule open for me and the people I work with on a regular basis. Best bet is to hit me up a day or two before you wanted to get together. If I’m available we can set up a time.”

--

Gary Vaynerchuk

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? 

Macro patience, micro speed. They should not care about the next eight years, but they should stress the next eight days. At a macro, I think everybody’s super impatient. I think I’m unbelievably patient in years and decades, and unbelievably sporadic and hyper every minute on a day-to-day basis. I genuinely think everybody’s the reverse. Everybody’s making decisions about, like, “What am I going to do at 25? I better do that. . . .” In years, they’re impatient and making dumb decisions, and then in days, they’re watching fucking Netflix. They’re super worried about 25 when they’re 22, yet they’re drinking every Thursday night at 7 P.M. They’re playing Madden. They’re fucking watching House of Cards. They’re spending four and a half hours on their Instagram feed every single day. This is super important. Everybody’s impatient at a macro, and just so patient at a micro, wasting your days worrying about years. I’m not worried about my years, because I’m squeezing the fuck out of my seconds, let alone my days. It’s going to work out.

...

I still need a healthy balance of 20 percent yeses to things that seem dumb, because I believe in serendipity, and that’s an important balance that people struggle with.

--

Tim O’Reilly

Every morning, on my run, I try to take a picture of a flower and share it on Instagram. I was inspired to do this by a passage I read many years ago in a book by C. S. Lewis (I think it was The Great Divorce), in which a character, after death, only sees the flowers as blobs of color, and his spirit guide tells him, “That’s because you never really looked at them when you were alive.” As the line from Hamilton says, “Look around. Look around. How lucky we are to be alive right now!”

...

I have profited greatly from Esther Dyson’s advice about accepting speaking engagements: “Would I say yes if it were on Tuesday?” Because the day will come when it is on Tuesday.

...

We equate being smart and being driven as the ways to get ahead. But sometimes, an attitude of alert watchfulness is far wiser and more effective. Learning to follow your nose, pulling on threads of curiosity or interest, may take you places that being driven will never lead you to.

--

“Let life ripen and then fall. Will is not the way at all.”

—Lao Tzu, from The Way of Life According to Lao Tzu

--

Tom Peters

They say: “Think big! Have a compelling vision!” I say: Think small. Do something super cool by the end of the day!

...

I write about “excellence.” Most see excellence as some grand aspiration. Wrong. Dead wrong. My two cents: Excellence is the next five minutes or nothing at all. It’s the quality of your next five-minute conversation. It’s the quality of, yes, your next email. Forget the long term. Make the next five minutes rock!

--

“If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.”

-- Albert Einstein

--

Brene Brown

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? What questions do you ask yourself? 

Always these questions: 

Sleep? Exercise? Healthy food? Am I resentful because I’m not setting or holding a boundary?

--

Leo Babauta

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love? 

I am absurdly fond of minimalist aesthetics. I get a ridiculous amount of pleasure from an empty room with just one piece of furniture and a plant. Sometimes I fantasize about owning nothing but an empty room!

--

Esther Dyson

Always take jobs for which you are not qualified; that way you will inevitably learn something. And do not drop out of college unless you truly have a better alternative.

--

Finite and Infinite Games by James P. Carse: This small, short book provided me a vocabulary to think about the meaning of life—not just my life, but all life! It gave me a mathematical framework for my own spirituality. As it says, the game is to keep the game going forever, to rope all beings into playing infinite games versus finite (win-lose) games, and to realize that there is only one infinite game.

--

Kevin Kelly

I learned far more about business from that $200 than from a debt-inducing MBA.

...

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore? 

Don’t try to find your passion. Instead master some skill, interest, or knowledge that others find valuable. It almost doesn’t matter what it is at the start. You don’t have to love it, you just have to be the best at it. Once you master it, you’ll be rewarded with new opportunities that will allow you to move away from tasks you

--

Eric Ripert

An orb of shungite stone. Its incredible protective and healing qualities—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical—can be felt by even the most skeptical people. One benefit relevant for many of us today: it diffuses negative waves from electronics.

...

Five or six years ago, I decided that I was going to live my life in three parts—one-third for my business, one-third for my family, one-third for myself.

--

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” 

–Fred Rogers Creator of the famous television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood

--

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” 

–Lao Tzu Chinese philosopher, author of Tao Te

--

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” 

–Terry Pratchett English fantasy writer

--

Gabor Mate

If you’re really smart, you’ll drop the drivenness. It doesn’t matter what’s driving you; when you’re driven, you are like a leaf, driven by the wind. You have no real autonomy. You are bound to be blown off course, even if you reach what you believe is your goal. And don’t confuse being driven with being authentically animated by an inner calling. One state leaves you depleted and unfulfilled; the other fuels your soul and makes your heart sing.

--

John Arnold

The reality, best captured in The Rational Optimist by Matt Ridley and The Better Angels of Our Nature by Steven Pinker, is that the long-term trend in almost every measure is resolutely positive. Optimism is a reflexive trait, with a circular relationship between cause and effect. The more optimistic society is about the future, the better the future is. These books serve as a reminder of the great advances.

--

Mr. Money Mustache

You are free for life once you have 25 to 30 times your annual spending locked up and working for you in low-fee index funds or other relatively boring investments. If you save the standard 15 percent of your income, this freedom arrives roughly at age 65. If you can crank that up to 65 percent, you’re free just after your 30th birthday, and you often end up a lot happier in the process. Of course, there are other ways to solve the money problem: Own a profitable business, or find work that is joyful enough to do it for life. But even these things happen more quickly if you don’t get mired in the earn-to-borrow-to-spend trap that is part of that big middle-class assumption.

--

David Lynch

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? 

I sit and desire ideas.

--

Evan Williams

Mindfulness meditation, which I started doing regularly about five years ago, has changed my life more than any other behavior. I feel like it rewired my brain (probably because it did). At first, I felt the effects very powerfully. After a few years, it feels less dramatic but necessary. If I go more than a couple days without sitting, I feel off. Wish I had started many years before.

...

Be in a hurry to learn, not in a hurry to get validation. In a team environment, you will make a much better impression if it seems like you’re not at all worried about yourself. It’s okay to actually be worried about yourself—everyone is—just don’t seem like it. If you resist asking for too much, you will often get more.

--

Chris Anderson

The realization that the best way to get things done is to let go. Here’s the thing. . . . It’s often the case that people want to help you or work with you. But they can’t if you insist on holding on to tight control. The more you let go, the more people will surprise you.

...

Many of us have bought into the cliché “pursue your passion.” For many, that is terrible advice. In your 20s, you may not really know what your best skills and opportunities are. It’s much better to pursue learning, personal discipline, growth. And to seek out connections with people across the planet.

--

Michael Gervais

“Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece.” We have far more control in our lives than many embrace. We create or co-create our experiences in life, and each day is a new opportunity to be fully engaged in the present moment. It’s the present moment where glimpses of our potential are revealed and expressed.

...

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? 

“You can do anything you put your mind to.” Ah, no, that’s not accurate, and it reveals the advice-giver’s naiveté about human experiences.

--

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

 –G. K. Chesterton English philosopher known as the “prince of paradox”

--

“All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.” 

–John Gunther American journalist

--

Katrin Tanja Davidstodir

If you are asking about an exercise, I would say it is basic “fitness.” It is hanging out around your lactic threshold for an extended period of time—it’s hard. But that’s where the magic happens. It’s not going guns blazing through a workout and it’s not “talking pace.” It’s hanging out right where you might start dropping off soon but you can hold on. Once your general fitness is higher, your recovery is better between lifts and between events; it translates into so many other things.

--

Terry Laughlin

My five steps to mastery: 

Choose a worthy and meaningful challenge. 

Seek a sensei or master teacher (like George Leonard) to help you establish the right path and priorities. 

Practice diligently, always striving to hone key skills and to progress incrementally toward new levels of competence. 

Love the plateau. All worthwhile progress occurs through brief, thrilling leaps forward followed by long stretches during which you feel you’re going nowhere. Though it seems as if we’re making no progress, we are turning new behaviors into habits. Learning continues at the cellular level . . . if you follow good practice principles. 

Mastery is a journey, not a destination. True masters never believe they have attained mastery. There is always more to be learned and greater

--

Drew Houston

If I had a cheat sheet I could give myself at 22, it would have three things on it: a tennis ball, a circle, and the number 30,000. 

The tennis ball is about finding something that you can become obsessed with, like my childhood dog who would go crazy whenever anyone threw a ball for her. The most successful people I know are all obsessed with solving a problem that really matters to them. 

The circle refers to the idea that you’re the average of your five closest friends. Make sure to put yourself in an environment that pulls the best out of you. 

And the last is the number 30,000. When I was 24, I came across a website that says most people live for about 30,000 days—and I was shocked to find that I was already 8,000 days down.

...

Make sure the problem you become obsessed with is one that needs solving and is one where your contribution can make a difference. As Y Combinator says, “Make something people want.”

--

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.” 

–Louis L’Amour 

--

Muneeb Ali

Asking myself the question, “When I’m old, how much would I be willing to pay to travel back in time and relive the moment that I’m experiencing right now?”

--

Steven Pinker

Find a new topic or area or concern that has a small number of people you respect behind it, but which has not become a culture-wide fad or conventional wisdom. If it’s already common knowledge, it’s probably too late to make a major contribution. If you’re the only one excited, you may be deluding yourself. 

Ignore advice to simply follow your intuition or gut without thinking through whether the course of action is likely to be fruitful and rewarding. 

Focus on effectiveness—what your actions will actually accomplish—and not self-actualization or other ways of trying to feel good about yourself. 

Don’t think that the arts and verbal professions are the only respectable occupations (a common mindset of grandchildren of workers). The elites sneer at commerce as tawdry, but it’s what gives people what they want and need, and pays for everything else, including the luxury of art. 

Think about what you will add to the world. Some lucrative professions (e.g., ultra-high-tech finance) are dubious applications of human brainpower.

--

Whitney Cummings

There’s something very liberating about being dirty, because then you don’t have to worry about getting dirty.

...

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

 “Network.” In creative fields, I think networking actually hurts you in most cases. Don’t waste your time socializing with people who you think can help you. Just get better, and opportunities will naturally present themselves once you deserve them. Only focus on things within your control. And if you don’t know what those things are, find someone who can tell you. Don’t network, just work.

--

Rick Rubin

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise? 

Anything having to do with commercial success. Anything having to do with testing things, doing polls, or getting public opinion on your work so you can change it. Anything suggesting a safe path and anything suggesting a stable situation, especially in the beginning. When you start out doing something, you’re likely charting uncharted territory, and it’s good to ask a lot of questions from people in the industry and to learn from them. Remember, though, when people give you advice, they’re giving you advice based on their particular skills, experiences, and perspectives. So know that when you get expert advice, it’s often people telling you about their journey, and every journey is different.

--

Ben Silberman

Even at the company, every week I show employees the current week within the year visually, just to remind them that every week matters.

...

I left Google in 2008 to start a company, and the first two or three things didn’t work out. Pinterest launched in 2010. It didn’t really start growing quickly for another year or two, and it really took off around 2012. That’s a four-year period where things weren’t going awesome. But, I thought: “That’s not that long. That’s like med school before you go into residency.”

--

Yuval Noah Harari

Nobody really knows what the world and the job market will look like in 2040, hence nobody knows what to teach young people today. Consequently, it is likely that most of what you currently learn at school will be irrelevant by the time you are 40.

So what should you focus on? My best advice is to focus on personal resilience and emotional intelligence.

Change is usually stressful, and after a certain age, most people don’t like to change. When you are 16, your entire life is change, whether you like it or not. Your body is changing, your mind is changing, your relationships are changing—everything is in flux. You are busy inventing yourself. By the time you are 40, you don’t want change. You want stability. But in the twenty-first century, you won’t be able to enjoy that luxury. If you try to hold on to some stable identity, some stable job, some stable worldview, you will be left behind, and the world will fly by you.

Don’t trust the adults too much. In the past, it was a safe bet to trust adults, because they knew the world quite well, and the world changed slowly. But the 21st century is going to be different. Whatever the adults have learned about economics, politics, or relationships may be outdated. Similarly, don’t trust technology too much. You must make technology serve you, instead of you serving it. If you aren’t careful, technology will start dictating your aims and enslaving you to its agenda.

--

Lorenzo stopped the action and walked around the net. He spoke quietly: “When I was a young player in Italy, nine or ten years old,” he said, “my coach gave me a rule: I could make mistakes, but I couldn’t make the same mistake twice. If I was hitting balls into the net, he would say, ‘I don’t care if you hit balls over the fence or anywhere else, but you’re not allowed to hit any more balls into the net. That’s the only rule.’”

--

Most of the time, “What should I do with my life?” is a terrible question. “What should I do with this tennis serve?” “What should I do with this line at Starbucks?” “What should I do with this traffic jam?” “How should I respond to the anger I feel welling up in my chest?” These are better questions. Excellence is the next five minutes, improvement is the next five minutes, happiness is the next five minutes.

This doesn’t mean you ignore planning. I encourage you to make huge, ambitious plans. Just remember that the big-beyond-belief things are accomplished when you deconstruct them into the smallest possible pieces and focus on each “moment of impact,” one step at a time. I’ve had a life full of doubts . . . mostly for no good reason.

--

Based on everything I’ve seen, a simple recipe can work: focus on what’s in front of you, design great days to create a great life, and try not to make the same mistake twice.