#mike ASS FUNGUS

[elviri]

oh my GOD i'm going to explode her with my mind right now

[runningwithscizzorz]

what is everyone’s roles in your monsters inc au ?

Wow I did not think people would like it this much

Sulley- Wukong

Mike- Nezha

Boo- Xiaotian

Waternoose- Azure

Randall- Macaque

Roz: PIF

Fungus (Randall's little helper): Savage

Those two cracky ass teenagers: Jin and Yin

Celia: My friend suggested it'd be Rin-Rin so instead of Nezha having a relationship with her Wukong would for this AU

And uuhh that's all I can think of right now

[superman86to99]

Super Titles Round-Up (May 1994)

This month: Superboy gets animated! Supergirl gets even! Steel gets that cool-ass Jon Bogdanove cover up there!

Superboy #4 (May 1994)

Superboy is pretty sick due to that pesky Clone Plague running through the Superman titles, so his friends try to cheer him up by showing him the pilot episode for Superboy: The Animated Series. The episode is about two villains called Lock 'n' Lode trying to kill Superboy's manager, Rex Leech, depicted as a handsome "philanthropist and adventurer" in the show (because he's the one who paid for it). Meanwhile, Dubbilex appears as Rex's "wacky telepathic D.N.Alien butler" and Roxy Leech as an "undulating mass of primordial slime," which neither of them appreciates.

The animated scenes are drawn by late Batman Adventures artist Mike Parobeck in that classic broad-chinned Bruce Timm style, so this issue serves as kind of a preview for the other animated-style DCU titles that would come later in the decade (I always thought it was funny that Superboy got an "animated" design before Superman himself did). Anyway, in the show, Lock 'n' Load are defeated thanks to Rex's cleverness, mastery of geometry, and flawless marksmanship, though Superboy helps too. We even get a happy ending for Roxy, as an accident in the "Super-Grotto" causes her to evolve into fungus.

Unfortunately, things are less cheerful in the real world, since the issue ends with Superboy collapsing in the kitchen and his friend Tana remarking that he's not breathing. TO BE CONTINUED!

Supergirl #4 (May 1994)

Final issue! After finding out that Lex Luthor Jr. has been playing her for a gosh-danged fool all these years, the all-new, all-edgy Supergirl goes around the world torching Lex's properties (after making sure all employees have evacuated them, because she's still a sweetheart deep down). Lex figures out what Supergirl is doing and sets an explosive trap in one of his properties that leaves her as a pool of protoplasmic goo on the ground.

But Supergirl was only playing dead, so she uses the fact that Lex thinks he killed her to surprise him at LexCorp Tower. However, once she reaches Lex's office, Supergirl finds out that the red-haired adonis she was expecting to see has been replaced with a frail bald guy in a floating wheelchair. The shock of seeing Lex like that makes Supergirl drop her guard for a moment, which is enough for him to try to kill her again. Lex crawls into his Team Luthor armor for protection, but an even-more-pissed-off Supergirl tears him out and actually throws him through a window to a certain death.

For better or worse, Superman shows up just in time to save Lex, even though he looks like he might drop dead any second anyway. Supergirl is shocked to learn that Lex wasn't lying about his sickness, especially because she would have gladly helped him if he'd just asked her instead of sneakily cloning her to try to make a cure. Supergirl morphs back into her old self as she flies away in tears.

In the epilogue, the Kents let Supergirl know she's very welcome to come live with them again, but she decides she wants to travel the world and grow as a person/sentient lump of protomatter. The miniseries ends a few months later, with Supergirl going to Paris to reunite with Lex's ex-wife Elizabeth Perske, who agrees to be her new mentor. Perske will appear in a few issues of Supergirl's solo series, but the more interesting part in this flash-forward is the mention that U.S. Congress has "passed a measure approving aid for strife-torn Metropolis." Look out for some strife in the main Superman comics, coming soon!

Steel #4 (May 1994)

Steel's evil former employers at Amertek want to get back at him for destroying their headquarters last issue, so they hit him at a place where they know he'll be: at the funeral for a kid who died during a gang fight due to their weapons. Did I mention they're evil? They send a shirtless dude hopped up on Tar, the drug that turns people into Rob Liefeld characters, to crash the funeral, and since John Henry doesn't have his armor on, he has to hit the attacker with church pews until the drug runs out. (Would have been cool if he'd built himself a new armor out of church pews on the spot.)

The attack intensifies the gang war going on in the tough streets of D.C., resulting in another little kid getting shot (an adorable boy named Paco who wanted to be a gang member when he grew up). Then, the issue ends with John's niece Natasha getting ran over by a gang member's car as she's going to the hospital to see Paco. I have a feeling this comic is trying to tell us something about gangs, but I'm not sure what it is.

Oh, yeah, this issue also features a cameo by Lois Lane: John calls her (at home, since she was just fired by the Daily Planet) to figure out what he can do with the CD full of incriminating evidence he got from Amertek's HQ. She hooks him with her college roommate, policewoman/hacker Shauna Beryl (the lady on the cover up there), who will become a recurring character in this comic.

The Ray #1 (May 1994)

In the first issue of his solo series, Ray "The Ray" Terrill takes a trip to Hawaii on the same day that a little troll creature prays to Darkseid next to a volcano, causing a giant lava monster called Brimstone to emerge (Darkseid created a previous incarnation of Brimstone during the Legends crossover). Superboy shows up to help fight Brimstone, but instead of working together, Ray spends most of the issue thinking about how much he hates this kid and calling him a cheap poser. Eventually, after Brimstone has been "defeated," Superboy has enough and punches Ray to finally get him to shut up.

By the way, this issue and the next one are supposed to take place between Superboy #3 and #4, meaning that Superboy was already seriously ill while fighting Brimstone, so I don't blame him for losing his patience with this hater. Ray then hits Superboy back with a big blast of energy and looks mighty smug for a moment... until he notices that Superboy isn't moving or breathing. Yes, that's two comics in one month that end with someone yelling that Superboy is apparently dead. Oh, and then Brimstone wakes up. TO BE CONTINUED, TOO!

Damage #1 (April 1994)

I missed this issue during the April '94 round-up (shout out to Neil in the comments for alerting me of its existence!), so here it goes. Our old pal Metallo is the main villain in the first issue of this series, which is about a wimpy kid called Grant Emerson who occasionally has bursts of explosive strength that allow him to total cars with his fists. Some mysterious villains broke Metallo out of Stryker's Island and gave him a new giant body just to send him to kill Grant at his school. The most interesting part for me is that this backstory is told in the same format as Metallo's backstory in John Byrne's Superman #1, with the green flashback panels at the end of every row.

Damage defeats Metallo, but also destroys his entire school in the process, and then other villains show up to capture him… but that has nothing to do with Superman, so it's none of our business.

NOTE: Our post about Adventures of Superman #512 went up earlier this week, check it here out if you missed it!

[tortol]

WAIT HAVE YOU READ THE FIC WHERE EDA NAMED MIKE VIAGRA?

i have not read that, but viagra was part of the original name given at mike’s baptism back in, like, 2021, along with “ass fungus”, before it got sanitized into just “mike” and spread via being annoying on a post-hoot

[the-owl-house-takes]

Mike Socks is genuinely the stupidest thing the fandom ever came up with and I don’t care what anyone says, it isn’t canon. Dana herself said they never gave Lilith’s palisman a name because originally it wasn’t even going to be shown off the staff.

The fact that a joke that started out as ‘Mike Ass Fungus’ here on tumblr went so far that people spammed the Post Hoot chat with it and also Socks for some reason when Cissy asked what the fans thought for the name is fucking ridiculous. Dana clearly didn’t care for it and tried to brush it off then never addressed it again and never once said anything like ‘okay yeah that’s canon’.

Like if you want to personally headcanon that’s their name, whatever, but don’t go around falsely claiming it’s canon when it isn’t and telling other people they’re wrong to headcanon the palisman as having a different name.

-

[kikiwhora]

Goodbye you stupid bird

[sepublic]

Post-Hoot for King’s Tide!

            Let’s go over the lore (and some fun trivia I picked out) for the King’s Tide Post-Hoot!

         Gus’ palisman is named Emmiline Bailey Marcostimo, after some Season 2 writers (presumably Emmy Cicierga, Madeleine Hernandez, John Bailey Owen, Zach Marcus, and Mikki Crisostomo)! She would’ve been named in Any Sport in a Storm but the line was cut out for time; When Gus says “My way is better!” he would’ve added, “Right Emmiline Bailey Marcostimo?” He calls her Emmiline for short… The original line took up TEN SECONDS of runtime, which is why they had to cut it out.

         Dana mentioned that the in-between realm is “where all dreams form” and described it as a “cosmic glue”, presumably one that holds the worlds together and connects them! Hence the cubes allowing Luz to peer into the human and demon realms, and possibly the force that the Portal harnesses and relies upon to traverse! I wonder if this means that Titans themselves have a connection to this in-between, and if the in-between is ONLY between the human and demon realms, or at least not all of them by default, hence why travel is particularly easy and common with the Titan’s blood rifts, which can evidently sync up through the in-between; This may have been how the Titans accessed the in-between to seal away the Collector!

         This one is really funny… When asked to name Lilith’s palisman, chat was split between Mike and Socks respectively; Can attest that Mike comes from a TOH server I’m a part of, and we’ve had that name for about a year… And it’s short for Mike Ass Fungus. And now it’s partially canon; Dana decided that Lilith would name her palisman something super-extravagant after some obscure historical figure, and Rebecca told us to check Dana’s twitter in a week or so for the final name. But so far it seems Dana is going to incorporate “Mike Socks” into the name of Lilith’s palisman; Probably making it short for the actual name itself!

         Dana confirmed that Belos tried naming the other Grimwalkers names besides Hunter, but evidently he wasn’t the only one to have that name; And yes, Belos was totally the person to laugh at his own sick joke, naming Caleb’s clones after “witch hunter”. As she said, Belos is after something unattainable, even if his other goals were attained; And when she saw people calculating the low-balled numbers from Hollow Mind, she could only cringe knowing we had a BIG storm coming in the season finale…

         Also this is just a sweet bit, but Dana reiterated that the other Grimwalkers aren’t failures in HER heart, despite what Kikimora says! She also said that a tragic backstory might happen but it doesn’t justify things, in regards to Kikimora, who she confirmed acted purely out of spite; So I wouldn’t hold your breath on a redemption arc!

         Raeda is Dana’s OTP, Raine is one of her faves. Not much else to say here but like… For those Raeda fans who enjoy the validation!

         Dana also reiterated that ALL members of the Emperor’s Coven have sigils. While Lilith hadn’t been brought up in the context of this, we know Rebecca was looking at different questions in the comments, so I assume this is what prompted that; So this points us towards Lilith having a sigil! Its absence may really just be an animation error, or it’s elsewhere on her body… I hope her sigil didn’t agitate the curse; But given what Eda said about Lilith not having hers as long, it probably didn’t react as severely and thus didn’t necessitate any amputations. This would track with Lilith still being able to summon an ice cube at the beginning of Season 2, compared to Eda who only had a crumbling spell circle.

         Dana described Darius and Eberwolf as having a younger, older brother dynamic, although she didn’t specify which; Eber is the chaotic one, who always knows how to tick off Darius, but there’s a real bond and trust between the two. Eberwolf is referred to as He/Him by the crew, but Dana said she’s open to They/Them for Eberwolf as well! We would’ve indeed explored Darius more had Season 3 not been shortened.

         In regards to neurodivergency in TOH, Dana said that she and the crew wanted to write with different mindsets and ways of thinking, drawing upon their own real-life experiences; She says she doesn’t quite have the language to express specifically, but she’s open. This kind of representation of people who are different but all have something to offer was indeed important to her; THAT much was intentional at least.

         Adrian Graye’s name is confirmed to be a reference to Dorian Gray! And speaking of which, we have some names on the Coven Heads, with Rebecca clarifying the spelling in a tweet (same for Gus’ palisman Emmiline);

Bard- Raine Whispers

Abomination- Darius Deamonne

Beastkeeping- Eberwolf the Huntsman

Plant- Terra Snapdragon

Illusion- Adrian Graye

Construction- Mason

Potion- Vitimir

Oracle- Osran

Healing- Hettie Cutburn

          Dana explained that Darius’ surname is French, and that Mason, who we saw back in S1, actually got promoted since then to Construction Head; So he presumably wasn’t the first head of the Construction Coven, or at least wasn’t one at all until some time after Covention! According to Dana, they were figuring out the designs for the Coven Heads, and suddenly decided, you know what? Mason is promoted now, good for him! I guess Ulrich was a deleted concept for a name, a placeholder, or intended for some other chap who looked like Mason.

        Hettie Cutburn is also a favorite of Dana and the crew’s; She said they would’ve explored her character more, had Season 3 not been shortened… Dammit.

        Anyhow, I’m planning to get caught up on the previous post-hoots I missed out on (all of them), so if you see more and wonder why King’s Tide is out of order, this is why! This was the only post-hoot I watched all of, so I’m gonna go back and scour them for lore!

[deadwardiann]

stolen idea from @moonmeg ,, i love my son ferdinand aka mike ass fungus aka mike socks

[truessences]

Y'all hate/dislike Mike so much for what? Even I go into his tag, I just see people saying stuff like:

"He's the worst friend"

"He needs to shut the fuck up"

"Will can be do better/El can do better"

"Mike Wheeler hate club"

"How dare he be an ass to Will about DnD only to join Hellfire in high school"

"OMG, he didn't notice Will crying, he's a terrible human being and I hope he DIES!"

"His monologue was bullshit, he didn't mean it."

"He's not the heart, he's the fungus under the pinkie toe maybe..."

Like... it's fine to not like a character, sometimes they just don't resonate with you... but the reasons why y'all hate Mike, really surprise me. He's not allowed to make any mistakes clearly, he has to be on 100 all of the time and when he falters even a little bit, he's the worst...

Also, some of y'all say you hate him but then want your precious boy to be with him. That doesn't make sense lol. I don't even know why I'm shocked anymore. I genuinely like Mike Wheeler and I know others do too. But still shocked lol.

[ravnheks]

// - Also I made a post on this before but I just want to say that the name ‘Mike Socks’ will NEVER be canon to my Lilith’s palisman, to my view of the show, or to me in general. The chat during the Post Hoot literally just spammed a meme & made it canon. The full meme name for Lilith’s palisman these people came up with is ‘Mike Ass Fungus’ I could not make this shit up. Then I guess someone just added Socks onto it.

Anyway sometimes it’s okay to say ‘fuck canon, that’s stupid.’

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hey, Randall and Turbo Stan here again. Could I still have the villain SO who loves to be deliciously evil as much as Randall and Turbo headcanons please? And villain SO is madly in love with them and a little fluff with the villain SO? (Sorry that this is a lot, I’m just asking for headcanons and you did say that I needed to be specific)

(Don’t worry, this is perfect ^^) Hi, I’m so glad you came back! ^^ I hope you like these- I don’t think I’ve ever written for Turbo / King Candy, so this’ll be interesting! 

~~~

Randall Boggs:

·         Randall isn’t the type to be into his own villainy like Jafar or Maleficent- he just wants. He wants to fit in, he wants to be the top scarer, he wants to beat Sully, and he wants his scream extractor to revolutionise the scaring industry (And by extension, bring him glory). He’s hell bent and self-serving.

·         He knows he’s a bad guy and some of the things he does would be classified as evil, but he doesn’t revel in that knowledge, you know? You can clearly see the divide between villains like Randall who are single-minded in their goals and those who enjoy being nasty. Randall does enjoy holding power over others, but succeeding and achieving are his main driving forces.

·         But looking at you, evil and proud, it actually makes him feel less alone in the world, in a messed up, terrible person kind of way, and like there’s finally someone who accepts him, who he wants to be around (Unlike Mike, or any of the rest of Oozma Kappa who, I’m sure, absolutely would have let him join and loved him and his geekiness). Randall has never had a true friend, or an S/O, especially one that he understands like he does you. It’s a bit of a shock for him!

·         The fact that you’re madly in love with him honest to god stuns him a bit because of this (‘this’, being his lack of true love and appreciation in the past), but he’s also a bit full of himself (And also he’s basically a chameleon) so he quickly adapts and enjoys the attention and admiration, and love.

·         You’re the only one he trusts anymore (And probably, the only person he will ever trust again. And the mere fact that he trusts you at all, is a huge deal) as soon as you came into the picture, poor Fungus got completely ditched. He doesn’t need a minion when he has your crazy ass.

Turbo / King Candy:

·         Now, Turbo is a villainous villain, okay? He knows damn well that what he’s doing is selfish and nasty and he gets a bit of a chuckle out of it, especially if he succeeds.

·         So, seeing as you’re just like that, revelling in your deviousness and madness and encouraging his own, you two make a couple not to be messed with alone. Your evil bounces off each other like wine gummies. Rotten, poisonous, nasty wine gummies.

·         When you relocated to Sugar Rush together and Turbo took the persona of King Candy and messed with the wiring within the game, he made you his ‘Candy Consort’ (Or his Partner King, or Queen, or whatever you want to be called) of course and you get to play the parts together. It took a hot minute for you to settle into your new character in public, but you discover that Turbo’s a surprisingly skilled actor and he covers up any blunders on your end easily. Just pats your hand, gives you a soft, encouraging smile characteristic of his King Candy (Not Turbo) and explains away anything out-of-character that you might have said.

·         He has plenty of villainous pet names for you (I still reel at his calling Ralph a ‘Halitosis Riddled Warthog’. Turbo’s creative, man XD). You’re his devious little M&M ^^

·         He’s your rotten racer. Which reminds me; Fluff up his feathers by calling him a great racer, or the best, and you can get whatever you want. You know this of course, being your cunning self, and take advantage of it.

·         He realises this of course, and although it is a pain sometimes, he loves your evilness and sighs and lets it go, doing whatever you wanted him to (Probably complaining about how cute and cruel you are and how weak he is to these powers of yours). 

[livvyofthelake]

no one asked but i am ranking the high school musical the musical the series characters because i’ll explode if i don’t <3

nini- was there ever a doubt that she would be my favorite? she’s olivia rodrigo

ricky- this boy started out so weak, i could not stand his ass for the first several episodes. but i must admit he grew on me, jughead jones motherfucker, poor little meow meow bitch. i love him

ashlyn- i know she’s not a lesbian but she is but she’s not but she is. either way, off the charts astrology bitch energy, she has lucky crystals for gods sake! ms darbus would be so proud to have been played by such a legend

gina- i love mean girls i love girls who bully people i love popular bitches. i love them even more when they get depth <3 i love them even more when they make cute little hats for their friends and bring turkey themed cupcakes to thanksgiving parties and have killer dance solos

nini’s blonde mom- i wish she was my mom.

big red- stupid ass idiot name <3 beloved sk8r boi, gamer boi, and illiterate boi

lucas “ryan evans” grabeel cameo- i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. one hit wonder king

nini’s grandma- an actual queen. she had two scenes but her impact was undeniable <3

courtney- costuming/makeup/singing triple threat legend! did not get enough scenes with her!

martha cox cameo- what can i say she likes to pop and lock and jam and break... she’s an icon

ricky’s dad mike- i love this man. he went to a combination bowling alley and karaoke bar (which is also family friendly) to pick up women, and he succeeded

miss jen- ma’am you grew on me like a fungus.

carlos- genuinely i cannot get past the fact that he’s never seen hsm 2. that’s like, an irredeemable flaw how can you kin ryan evans and not have even seen i don’t dance

nini’s other mom- did not get enough lines for me to make a judgement but i know i like her more than others

the girl from camp (emily?)- her co-star literally poisoned her and she was just cool with that. girl what the fuck

ej- maybe if he didn’t suck he would be higher on this list than the random girl from summer camp. although i will say that his redemption will come as part of the carlos/ej longcon that i have decided to be a truther about. it’s happening guys

the principal- i believe that you cannot get mad about one of your teachers lying on their resume when you were the dumb bitch that hired them

stem teacher guy- do not even know what his name is, all i know is that he was a dick to kids for absolutely no fucking reason

seb- no personality to speak of! good for him for being gay i guess but i can name ten disney boys who’ve done that way better, like for starters, lucas grabeel

ricky’s mom- not to hate women but she really thought it was a great idea to bring her new bf to her son’s opening night when she KNOWS he’s not taking the divorce well, and she KNOWS her son doesn’t like her boyfriend. ma’am you did not handle this situation with ANY grace

ricky’s mom’s boyfriend- 😡

[tortol]

random question, but did Lilith lose her palisman or something? I just realized we didn't really see it in this season?? What happened to derpy bird

they fucking killed mike ass fungus ferdinand viagra socks clawthorne

[the-owl-house-takes]

Mike Socks is genuinely the BEST thing the fandom ever came up with and I don’t care what anyone says, it is canon. Dana herself said they gave Lilith’s palisman a name, which is Mike Socks, because originally it was meant to be Mike Socks.

The fact that a joke that started out as ‘Mike Ass Fungus’ here on tumblr went so far that people spammed the Post Hoot chat with it and also Socks for some awesome reason when Cissy asked what the fans thought for the name is fucking amazing. Dana clearly cared for it a lot and tried to bask in the magic of Mike Ass Fungus. She addresses it all the time and every day she’s saying stuff like ‘okay yeah that’s canon’.

Like if you want to personally headcanon that’s their name, you are great and you know what’s up, and we should all go around claiming it’s canon because it is, and telling other people they’re wrong to headcanon the palisman as having a different name. We should put them in a blender actually.

-

[deniigi]

I always need Mike Murdock flirting with an unimpressed Foggy Nelson in my life!

Agreeeed

------

Foggy wondered, deeply, truly wondered, what chemical imbalance in Mike’s head made him think that he could do this shit every time and get away with it.

Matt was literally in his office.

Karen had just brought him a cup of coffee and clapped him awake from an unintentional mid-day nap.

Karen slowly turned her head towards Foggy with her lips so tight they could have been marble.

“I think we need to call security,” she said.

Mike balked.

“No need for no security, hon,” he drawled in that aggravatingly smooth accent. “I got all the protection you need right here in these guns.”

Karen refused to acknowledge his presence or his ‘guns,’ no matter how dramatically he flexed them for her.

“Fogs, do you think you can call security?” she asked stiffly.

“I can,” Foggy confirmed solemnly.

Mike recoiled and removed himself from Karen’s desk.

“Hey, hey, hey, now,” he crooned to Foggy with open palms in front of him, “No need for that, Foggy, my man. We’re just talkin’, ya see? Me and this lovely, lovely lady got a connection.”

“The only connection you’re gonna have is a single phone call from the station if you keep that up, Mike,” Foggy said.

Mike scoffed.

“Well, then call me ‘Matthew,’” he said with a charming smile. “Lord knows baby can’t do no wrong.”

“You’re eleven minutes apart,” Foggy deadpanned.

Mike’s lip curled.

“Baby can’t do no wrong,” he repeated like the thought was acid.

“Hm. Jealous, I think,” Foggy noted. “Did you need something from the more adjusted and successful brother, or…?”

Mike set Karen’s stapler firmly onto her desk and drew himself up to full height.

“I do, actually,” he said while Karen surreptitiously disinfected the stapler. “I need a date.”

“Oh, fun,” Foggy said. “Incest. You’ve finally stooped that low.”

Mike hummed.

“Well, you know, I would never say no to fucking my clone, but I’m afraid I’d rather eat asphalt than sleep in the same bed as Matty ever again. No, dearest Franklin. I don’t need Matthew. I need you.”

Foggy set down his mug.

“You’re making it weird, Mike,” he sighed. “Don’t make it weird.”

“But you like weird,” Mike needled.

“Take one of your showgirls,” Foggy said.

“I can’t, it has to be either you or this doll,” Mike purred in Karen’s direction.

Karen squinted at him.

“Are you blind?” she asked him.

“No, babe, just dazzled,” Mike said with a widening grin.

“You have the right to remain silent,” Foggy told Karen immediately.

“By what?” Karen asked instead.

Aigh.

“By you,” Mike crooned.

Karen stared.

Then her eyes went wide.

She stood up.

“I think get it now,” she said, “I got him, Fogs. Don’t worry, I’ll handle it. Come on, starry-eyes. You and me got a date.”

Foggy watched Karen pop up and Mike realize how tall she was. He then watched as Mike did some mental calculations before decided that this was a good thing.

He absorbed the cheesy thumbs-up tossed his way as Sir Asshole followed Trouble Herself out through the office door.

And then he decided that no, actually. This wasn’t his problem.

 --

 “Mike stopped by when you were asleep,” Foggy told Matt as they were closing up. “Karen took him out.”

Matt paused in stacking files.

“He did? She did?” he asked.

“Sure as day,” Foggy hummed. “They gonna be cool, you think?”

“What was he here for?” Matt asked instead.

“Trying to get me to go on another date with him. Seems like he’s trying to steal your identity for the eightieth time,” Foggy said.

Matt hummed.

“He’s probably running a con,” he said. “Best of luck to him for Karen.”

“Yeah,” Foggy sighed. “Fucker doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know.”

“Did she like him?”

Foggy huffed a laugh.

“I think she’s gonna love him,” he smirked.

Matt tried to muffle a snicker.

 ---

 Foggy was picking out all the mushrooms from his take-out box and stuffing them in Matt’s when the long-awaited call came.

Both he and Matt addressed Matt’s phone buzzing across the coffee table.

“Mike. Mike. Mike,” It rattled.

Matt let it vibrate its way off the table and onto the carpet.

“To answer or not to answer,” he asked it, still buzzing away on the carpet.

“Not to answer,” Foggy said.

Matt cocked his head towards it, then shrugged and turned around to go back to picking through his box for newly-acquired fungus treats.

 --

 Foggy’s phone was next and they put both of the phones in a bowl so that they could vibe together while their owners appreciated all that was West Side Story.

 --

 It was about midnight when the front door rattled in its frame. Foggy snapped awake and wiped the drool off the corner of his mouth. Matt asked him if West Side Story was supposed to be about Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet.

“You can’t tell?” Foggy asked him in disbelief.

Mike shouted at them to open the damn door, you traitors.

“I mean, I thought I could, but the girl always seems to die, so I’m trying to figure out if there’s a gender switch thing going on here,” Matt said.

“Matt, first of all, this was the 60s. So no. Just. No. Not even wishful thinking could have made this movie that deep in the 60s. And second, Ophelia drowns herself. Is Maria drowning herself?” Foggy asked him.

“Well, no. But maybe there’s a metaphor happening. Maybe she’s drowning in emotions,” Matt said.

Mike informed them through the door that they weren’t cute or funny and he would wake up Mrs. Rodriguez and all of the fucking neighbors if he had to.

“I guess we should answer,” Matt finally hummed.

“Or?” Foggy tried.

“I’m answering,” Matt sighed.

Foggy moaned and flopped back onto the couch.

“We were doing so well,” he lamented.

Matt huffed a laugh and finally opened the door, only to hit the floor moments later when Mike collapsed on top of him.

Mike shoved himself up first. Matt shoved a hand against his jaw and pushed him back further, as any good sibling would.

“Who is she?” Mike slurred around the shoving.

“Who? Karen?” Matt asked. “I told you: our third partner.”

“You’re lying,” Mike gritted out, dislodging the hand and then trying to catch the wrist of the other one as it came to take the first’s place.’

“You ain’t said she was the Punisher’s gal,” he growled.

“I ain’t said shit,” Matt told him. “You’re the one waltzin’ in and tryin’ to steal my friends. Go get your own.”

“It’s more convenient to take yours,” Mike growled. “That guy’s batshit.”

“Amen to that,” Matt said, taking back his hand and wriggling out from under his brother.

“You coulda at least warned me,” Mike pouted as he sat up on his heels in Matt’s absence.

“You don’t deserve it,” Matt sniffed. “I don’t got anything for you. So you can sit there like a putz or you can watch Maria crying over whatshisface.”

“Man tried to shoot me in the ass and you’re here fussin’ over fuckin�� Maria, Matty? Where’s your family honor?” Mike demanded.

Matt stared over his shoulder.

“Maria or putz,” he repeated.

“I ain’t a putz. I was just nearly murdered,” Mike said. “Come on, man. I’m just trying to—”

“Maria or putz,” Matt repeated with no room for argument.

Mike groaned.

“Fine. Maria,” he relented.

“Don’t talk over her,” Matt stipulated.

“I won’t talk over her,” Mike sighed.

Matt lit up.

“Great. I’ll go get the first aid kit,” he said cheerfully.

Mike and Foggy watched him hurry off.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just said yes, Fogs,” Mike said.

Foggy hummed.

“I’m not suited for criminal life, Michael,” he said. “You’re just gonna have to try again later.”

“Oh, I will,” Mike told him. “You ain’t seen the last of me.”

[sepublic]

For a YEAR this TOH server I’m in joked about Lilith’s Palisman being named Mike Ass Fungus, and now we’ve successfully let that influence Dana in deciding the name, albeit just the ‘Mike’ part of it. We won y’all, we influenced TOH history...!

@tortol @liesminelli