#might try to make a collage or something that feels like a fun thing

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

❄️Catch Me Before I Let Go❄️

A teaser of my coming 🎁 for the wonderful @ironheartwriter for the Tarlos Secret Santa gift exchange!

Dearest Lana - it’s me I’m your Santa in Secret (no more)!! I don’t regret to inform you of that, because it has been an absolute delight so far to think up something wintery and fun for you from the prompts you gave me! I do regret to inform you however, that I am running a bit behind😔

The Christmas Chaos simply caught up with me with unexpected intensity and I’ve had to ask the wonderful mods for an extension. I am doing my very best to be able to give you the fic in it’s finished form before New Year’s Eve!! To make up for it, and to hold you over until then, I have prepared this teaser for you including the above collage/mood board, and below a summary and a lil’ snippet to gift you on my posting day<3 I hope brings you both intrigue and enjoyment!

Best wishes for a happy holiday,

Your very own Secret (no more) Santa,

Mar💚🥰🤶

Summary:

As a former member of the school swim team and someone who generally likes to be in charge of whether his feet are moving or not, Carlos Reyes prefers water in its liquid form. As such, a ski resort should not be on his top ten spots to visit. He’s insistent to make an exception though, in order to treat his adventurous, snow-loving husband to some fun downtime before they embark together on the next big step for them, of parenting TK’s little brother, Jonah. He’s booked a cozy wooden lodge in the closest ski resort to Austin, and he’s going to be his most fun and adventurous self while also making sure that his husband is absolutely spoiled. There’s just a few things he hasn’t taken into account: 1) Carlos has never skied before in his life. 2) Carlos really hates doing things he isn’t already good at, especially if they include the risk of falling on your face and 3) One very annoying, and very hot, ski-instructor named Josh who is outrageously obvious in his flirting up a storm with TK.

-In which TK and Carlos go skiing for the holidays, Carlos grapples with the old notion of letting go of control, and has also convinced himself that he has something to make up for.

*****

On the third day Carlos is officially deemed ready to take on the real pistes. At least according to TK. And to.. Josh. Carlos knows it’s probably immature but he still has trouble accepting compliments from the ski-instructor without somehow taking it as the opposite.

Something about the chipper look on his face when he tells Carlos that he’s ‘doing super good’ or he’s a ‘really quick learner’ makes him feel five years old. Carlos might not know the first thing about skiing and yeah, they might have literally paid Josh for his advice and encouragement, but where does he get off telling Carlos what he is and isn’t ready for or that he just needs to try and ‘let go a little’? Ugh. It’s condescending. 

Yesterday Carlos finally managed to slide down the training hill without face planting or tackling any small children along the way, only to be met at the bottom with Josh giving him a way too enthusiastic thumbs up and saying ‘good job!’ Carlos’ own brain had unhelpfully applied the ‘buddy’ to the end of the sentence, making Carlos feel like he was a little kid who had just managed to actually kick the ball at soccer practice for the first time. Carlos had to muster up all his willpower to smile politely and grit out a genuine-sounding ‘thank you’. 

Josh seemed oblivious to the effect he was having on Carlos, and luckily so did TK - his happy smile and rosy cheeks and the hands that Carlos could just barely feel the pressure of as they gripped at his waist over thick layers while he kissed him with lips that felt cool and moist from the snow had quickly improved his mood and made him feel genuinely proud of his accomplishment. 

Despite this, Carlos feels a little less sure about whether he’s really ready for the real thing, especially now as they’re on top of the hill and looking down, the daunting stretch of it is looking longer and more steep than it had seemed from the foot of it. He’ll be fine, he tries to reassure himself. If nothing else, he believes in TK and TK believes in him. According to TK (and Josh but Carlos is trying to reach a state of cool indifference when it comes to him mainly by trying not to think about him too much) it’s good to try the real piste sooner rather than later, to experience the thrill of actually skiing so as to not risk growing tired and frustrated before you’ve even experienced the real fun of it.

Better to fall on your face a few times than to stay on the training piste the whole trip and go thinking you’ve had enough of skiing for good. Carlos is trying to be on board with that sentiment even though he really isn’t the type to normally throw himself into things without feeling like he’s at least prepared enough that the chances of success are somewhat high.

‘Learning by doing’ and ‘crack a few eggs along the way’ are not normally sentiments that resonate with him. He will be the type for those though, for TK. For his wonderful and adventurous boyfriend who has put up with Carlos being a sobbing mess half the time during the past few weeks, carrying the weight for both of them as they’ve embarked on the process of adopting his little brother, and with Carlos’ absent mindedness and late nights even longer. So at least for this week, he’ll be adventurous for TK while he does his best to treat him to everything he desires.

Besides, it’s not like they’re doing the biggest pistes just yet - the plateau they’re on constitutes the starting point to the smaller slopes and they’re doing the smallest one to start with. TK will be with him the whole way, probably bored as they slide slowly down the hill with Carlos pushing the front of the skis inwards to break the whole way. 

He’s already survived the trip up, gripping TK’s hand tight the whole way and trying his best to appreciate the view, mostly managing to appreciate the view of TK appreciating the view, as he found that looking down made him a little lightheaded and made his heart speed up in his chest uncomfortably. 

As Carlos refastens the buckles of his ski-boots (he’s already done it twice, once when they arrived at the pistes and put on their skis, and once right before getting on the ski-lift, images of his skis falling off on the way up and landing right on somebody’s head making him guilty of negligent manslaughter on account of not tightening his boots enough), Carlos ends his little pep talk by sternly telling himself to pull it together. He can do this. This is their second to last day on the trip, and TK deserves to have some fun too, instead of having to spend his whole trip in the training area with Carlos and all the children. 

Speaking of TK, Carlos rights himself and looks around for him. He didn’t want Josh to witness him neurotically double and triple check the buckles of his boots, not feeling sure that he would react nicely to Josh butting in to offer unsolicited advice or, God forbid, crouching down to help him tighten them. So he’d mustered up a confident smile and told himself and TK to go ahead and Carlos would find them.

 Now he’s kind of regretting that. Carlos might allegedly be ready to slide down the smallest of the ‘adult’ hills, but the thing is, he still hasn't completely mastered the whole ‘moving on purpose in a normal walking pace’-thing. He still feels like it’s the skis, not him, deciding when he’s standing still and when he’s moving (and if he’s honest, which direction he moves in). 

Spotting his husband and the ski instructor that Carlos is not currently sparing thoughts for, by the starting point of the slope they’re supposed to try first, Carlos starts slowly making his way there. Luckily they seem to be caught in conversation and Carlos hopes that it stays that way so he doesn’t have to be observed inelegantly and very slowly approaching them. Nothing more awkward than waving and then being stared down for five minutes while you’re sweating and fighting to get within talking distance.

Once Carlos is within hearing range, he picks up bits of their conversation. “Oh,” he hears Josh’s voice say, and Carlos swears he can hear, even from just that one word, that the ski instructor is flirting with his husband. “I don’t suppose they make calendars for those too..?” And at that Carlos has to stop walking to roll his eyes (he can’t do both at the same time). 

Not this again, he thinks angrily. He can’t believe he’s had to witness TK being the victim of this god-awful pickup line twice in the span of their less than five years long relationship and had to fend the guy off (leading to some spectacular sex the first time, but still). Can’t these idiots come up with something better?

Carlos picks up his pace, he needs to stop this conversation before it goes any further and show this Josh-guy, Mr. ‘I’m a hot and blonde ski instructor who probably never gets caught in my head and is a lot of fun’, who TK belongs to. Even if somewhere deep within himself Carlos is finding it hard to measure up at the moment.

Carlos is sweating and panting, his brows furrowed in concentration trying to make his legs move faster, his thighs protesting as he slides one in front of the other in quick succession, using his poles to try and make sure he’s actually causing a forward movement instead of just looking like he’s using the skiing machine at the gym. At one point he gives up and turns so his side is to Josh and TK, awkwardly lifting his skis to take broad steps sideways.

He’s already preparing what to say in his head. Maybe if he interrupts the exact same thing as last time, TK will find it funny and get that wonderful crinkly and shiny eyed laugh he reserves for Carlos’ jokes that always makes his chest feel two sizes bigger, and they can laugh about it later tonight and hopefully have a repeat of the spectacular sex it resulted in last time. 

Deciding he’s as close as he’s gonna get if he’s gonna make it in time before the conversation moves on, he turns towards them again. Trying to make it look deceivingly effortless as he closes the rest of the gap between them, he paints on his cockiest smile and shouts, loud enough to make sure they can hear him even though he’s barely within hearing range, “And his husband is a Texas R-“ 

Unfortunately he doesn’t get further than that because the thing that could absolutely not happen, happens. 

In his eagerness to interrupt the blatant flirting aimed at his husband, Carlos had accidentally turned his skis in the direction of the light downwards slope toward one of the bigger pistes, and, quickly losing forward momentum as soon as he didn’t give it his full attention, has now started to slide backwards. And this time he isn’t in the training area anymore and he won’t be caught by a fence. 

He sees TK’s eyes widen as his form gets smaller and smaller, and Carlos tries desperately to break, but he can barely break while going forwards, let alone when he’s going backwards, and he isn’t succeeding. In fact, he’s picking up speed, and a glance over his shoulder tells him he’s fast approaching the edge where the plateau changes to one of the steeper slopes.

In a last resort to prevent disaster Carlos lets himself fall ungracefully into the snow, but unfortunately, it’s too late. The concerned faces of people clad in ski suits of all colors swim in and out of his vision as he tumbles down the hill. The world spins dizzyingly around him like he’s the immobile center of a spinning snow globe depicting a ski-resort themed winter wonderland.

Through his dizziness, Carlos manages to send a prayer to the universe that he won’t bump into someone and cause some sort of mass casualty event, as he keeps tumbling for what feels like ages. At some point the tip of his left ski seems to catch on something causing a sharp pain to shoot through his ankle, making him cry out in pain.

The world spins a few more times and then he's landing on his back at what he assumes is the bottom of the slope. Squinting dazedly up at the clear blue sky he tries to catch his breath. Trying to move his leg which is bent at an odd ankle so he can sit up, he grimaces and lets out another cry as he’s reminded of twisting his ankle on the way down, the sharp pang settling to dull throb as he stops trying to move.

Turning only his head he sees the bright orange shape of TK in his ski suit zig-zagging down the hill at impressive speed. His hero, his wild heart, come to save him.

[divine-crows]

🎨✨️Art Magic✨️🎨

Uses, Forms of it, and Why I Think Everyone Should Try it at Least Once.

Foreword

Right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I had been trying and failing to rekindle my flame for magic work. No matter what I tried to do I just couldn't get back into my studies and I was reaching a point where I was convinced I lost my spark and was doomed to live an empty life. Then it all changed when a YouTube Channel challenged how I thought about everything: Molly Roberts. That's when I was opened to the possibility of art magic, and I'll now share my love of it with anyone willing to read on.

What Is Art Magic?

A means to utilize art for spellwork, raising magical energy, or for exploring your magical subconscious. It encapsulates multiple different types of art and is generally not confined by conventional expectation (unless that's what you prefer).

You can utilize art magic by. . .

Using traditional art methods

Digital art methods

Collages

Music composition

Jewelry making

Embroidery

And much more!

How do I know if Art Magic is Suitable for Me?

There isn't a specific thing that'll indicate this form of magic is perfect for you, however I have some anecdotes from my personal experience as both a witch, and a regular artist that form a sort of idea on what could denote this being perfect for you!

First off, craving freedom from personal restraints was a big factor that pushed me towards blending my craft with my passion for art. If you want to run from the monotony of life, if you feel trapped by the social construction of boxes, or if you simply want to challenge your own mental restraints... then this idea might resonate with you.

Challenging yourself with a new form of magic, similarly, can also be a good enough reason to try. I'm the type of person who loves to constantly learn new things and I unfortunately get bored really quickly if I can't get new source materials. Using Art Magic has proven a fun challenge for me that allows me to explore a lot more topics you can't just open a book to find.

For those that may not be able to safely perform a lot of traditional style spells, this form of magic provides a discreet way to practice witchcraft. Most people wouldn't really question someone if they picked up the hobby of making art, and even if they did there's plenty of reasonable excuses out there.

How you prefer your spells to manifest themselves can also affect if this journey is a good idea or not. I find that Art Magic is really good when it comes to subtle spellwork that is more longform (though depending on how you construct them you can definitely create a spell that's the opposite).

Catalog aspects of your magical journey. Imagine a grimoire filled with pages of drawings, each one telling a story of something you experienced or learned as a witch. This especially may be more beneficial for visual learners.

You could use it as a means of meditation, sometimes art can be calming and it can open the door to your mind (so-to-speak). Especially if you're like me and struggle with staying completely still while trying to clear your mind, this may be helpful for you.

Trying to better understand archetypes, deities, types of entities, or even your own self can also be a big part of this. I've used art magic as a way to embody the "energy" of something before so I could better understand it. Especially when you're trying to seek knowledge that isn't often written on, it can provide a great way to explore more.

How Can I perform an Art Spell?

I have a step-by-step process that can give you some insight on how you may approach it:

1) Think of the intention you want. I like to close my eyes and meditate on it for about a minute then I write down if my mind wandered to any specific imagery or ideas.

2) Think of visual symbolism and colors that can help you capture the mood you want. Perhaps you need a warm color palette to invoke positive feelings, or maybe there are specific objects or animals you can include on the composition that represent something.

3) If you feel it fits your composition, you can include sigils, symbols of significance, and include shapes that have certain associations. It doesn't even have to be obvious either. You can use a circular composition to convey something endless for example, or a triangular composition to show priority over something.

4) In general follow what your heart tells you. This is a little cliche, but ultimately follow what seems best to you. Art isn't about boxing yourself in and my guidelines are just general ideas for anyone who's lost!

Why do I think that everyone should try it at least once?

From my experiences as a witch, I find that a lot of paths to be followed are quite rigid. By no means am I implying that a rigid structure is bad-- it creates a foundation from which we can work upon. I myself am exploring rigid, 'traditional' (for lack of a better term) ways of working magic. Art magic pushes you out of your comfort zone in a safe way. It makes you consider how you associate things. It makes you create new sigils and makes you research new symbols you previously wouldn't have used.

So next time you're lost on a spell, or you've lost your way in your Craft and you don't know what to do, think about maybe giving Art Magic a try. I hope my guide was a helpful starting point for anyone interested in the topic!

[wishful-seeker]

How to Make Your Own Spells

(Or at least this is how i do it)

What makes a spell?

In my opinion, a spell or ritual is the physical act of manipulating the energy around and within us to achieve a specific goal. A spell can look like anything from a few spoken words, like a prayer, to weeks long complicated rituals. You can attempt to cast a spell with nothing but your voice and some intent, or a whole pile of ingredients and tools.

How do spells work?

If we look at rituals in folklore there are a few characteristics that most spells share, but every one is unique, and spells have worked for a looong time even with no set rules for them. In folklore, witchcraft has reoccurring traits, like the number 13 "dance around X 13 times", dancing is also mentioned often, and black animals like black hens, black cats, and black goats. But times have changed, we aren't okay with harming animals for spells, and thousands of people don't use the number 13 or dancing. So why do spells still work even though they all look completely different?

I like to think we as humans have innate power within us that we can choose to utilize in our own unique way. Some spells work really well for the people who made them, but don't do squat for others trying to cast them. I think this is because the act of making a spell or ritual personal, whether you made it from stratch or altared someone elses, is similar to signing a piece of your artwork. You create a bond with those specific actions with you energy, like putting a spiritual signature on it. I think this allows us to utilize our personal magic easier.

I think spells work no matter how they look because the one thing each spell has in common is that we are making a petition to the world and ourselves that we want to make something happen, and because we all have a little bit of magic in us, we can make these things happen.

It doesn't hurt to get friendly with the land spirits of your home, or your ancestors or what-not to help you preform magic. Its very likely outside help will increase spell success.

So how do i make a spell?

You can either be simple or extra with this.

First decide your goal or intent. The more specific, the better. I believe magic follows the path of least resistance so if you aren't very specific with your ask, things might happen in unpredictable ways. Saying "I want a promotion in my current job and enough money to move to a better place." Is better than "i want a better life."

Secondly decide if you want ingredients or tools. This could be herbs that you research correspondences for or crystals you research the metaphysical properties of. This could be items like a skeleton key, a feather you found, maybe a letter someone wrote. I find spells to be more powerful and easier to enjoy and connect with if you use sentimental items you feel particularly drawn to. You don't always need ingredients that have set correspondences, its okay to use things just because you have a good feeling about it or to put your own personal correspondence on things including trinkets, herbs, and crystals. When it comes to tools, like a pendulum, wand, or scrying mirror, you can use these if they feel fun, but they are not always necessary. Some tools can be very helpful in spells, pendulums and scrying mirrors can be used to speak with spirits during your ritual.

Next figure out what you want the spell to look like. This is where your creativity shines. You could do the classics everyone knows: spell bottles, spell candles, and sachet spells. Or you can do what intuitively feels right to you. I personally arrange my ingredients in a pretty way intuitively on a plate then light a candle on the plate, but spells can look like anything. Like i said before, in folklore there is a lot of dancing. A spell could be a dance you do around a fire, or for astral travel dance until you fall and leave your body. A spell can be an art project, perhaps a collage of pictures of things related to your spell. A spell could be something you cook and eat. Let your imagination go wild.

Next thing is optional but i feel like it helps. Im sure you have heard of wiccans casting a circle before each spell to trap certain energies in for the spell. You can do this but i personally like the opposite: creating a liminal space and thinning the veil to really open up to all the energy around me. You can create a liminal space either by being in one ex: at a crossroads, in the woods, at midnight, dusk, and dawn. Or you can make one by creating a 3 or 4 crossroads shape like you would cast a circle. These are both optional though.

Next lets talk about charging your spell and how to actually put energy into it. Again, you can do anything you want. You can charge by dancing, moving clockwise, singing, playing an instrument, meditating, visualizing energy coming from your hands or wand, anything you feel drawn to. For me personally i have to speak my intent allowed and imagine what it'll look like when my spell succeeds to charge it.

If you need inspiration for spells, folklore, fairytales, and stories in general can give you a good idea on what would be fun to do.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

[fluffruaryprompts]

🌹💐Hello and Welcome to our first Fluffruary!🌷🪻

We hope to make this an annual thing if this first year goes well!

Let’s fill this month of February with love and fluffy times! We’ve made up a month of prompts, and even have some Prompt Extras!❤️

Prompt Extras!

We made this as we realize some of these prompts are not for everyone, so we hope to be more inclusive with these extras! You can use them to replace some of the prompts on the original list. Feel free to replace whatever you’d like if a prompt does not work for you - no explanation needed!🩷

You can also use these prompts if you just like them and feel like doing something extra!🩵

Have fun with these extra prompts, and we will be voting on them at the end of the month to see what are the top five and you all would like to keep!💛

Below the cut you’ll find all our rules, posting info, all prompts in writing, as well as some explanations for prompts we feel might need some clarification.♥️

If you have any questions, please ask. We want this to go as smoothly as possible, no questions are bad.💚

We hope you like these prompts, now

💕Happy Creating!💞

Standard Blog Rules & FAQ

No inc*st or p*dophilia - we can’t keep you from writing it or creating art for it but it will not be reblogged.

No hate or ship bashing - we are all different and we all love different things. As long as it does not go against rule # 1, it is allowed.

Tag correctly! Trigger warnings (including cheating!), ships, ratings, (pure) smut, etc - is all fine as long as you tag it.

There is absolutely no word count. It can be as short and as long as you would like to make it.

In regards to art, anything goes: drawings, paintings, collages, mood boards, gif sets, videos, playlist… the sky’s the limit (though not really…)

While we can not force you to write fluff or crest fluffy art, please try to keep in mind that this is a fluff event! ���

You can start writing and/or rating as soon as you see this - but please refrain from posting before the respective day. We have released this early as we want to give those who need time to plan everything out a chance to join.

You can participate on as many days as you like, even if it’s just one: you can also create multiple entries for the same day.

You can replace prompts from the original list with either or all of our extra prompts; you can also mix them with the original prompts or create for them in addition to the 29 original prompts, that’s completely up to you!

It is okay to write one story/a series for all the prompts as long as it’s separated into chapters and the respective chapter/work is posted on the given day.

You do not have to stick to one ship! Or even one fandom! Switch as often as you would like to or even write for multiple ships in one day! This is the month of love after all!

THE SHIP DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A ROMANTIC ONE! Friend and Family feels are more than welcome. There is more than just romantic love!

This event is currently not combined with Whumpruary.

Late entries are always welcome, even if it’s months later.

All fandoms and ships are welcome - canon and fanon. As long as they are of age (in case you want to add smut) and not related.

Posting

Posting to Tumbler

Please use the tag #fluffruary2024

Since tags are sometimes wonky, make sure to @ us on the post.

We will try to catch them all, but please do not be mad if we miss a post or if it gets reblogged late.

If you are absolutely certain that a post has slipped past us, feel free to send us an ask with the link to your post.

To make reblogging easier for us, make sure to add the following tags: #fluffruary2024 , #Fluffruary , #day [xy] , #[ship and/or main character(s)]

If you are using an prompt extra tag it as #alt [number]

Posting to Ao3

We do not yet have a collection yet on Ao3, however, if you use the tags fluffruary2024 and Fluffruary , we may hopefully be able to find it. We will make a collection sooner, and will make a separate post addressing that.

Late entries are always welcome on both Tumbler and Ao3! Neither will close but reblogs will become less regular as more months pass.

💕Prompts💞

First Sight

First Date

Cozy Shelter

Ice Skating

Hugs

Small Gestures

Vulnerability

Cold hands, Warm heart

Support

Quiet Company

Gifts

Change

Eve

True Love

Reunion

Platonic Love

How Far We’ve Come

Picnic

Brunch

Renewed

Chaos

Calm

Garden

Dancing in the moonlight

Handmade

Cuddles

Smoochies

Happily Ever After

Something extra!

Extra Prompts

Alt 1: True Friendship

Alt 2: Loop

Alt 3: Seasons

Alt 4: Song

Alt 5: Birds

Alt 6: Shared Excitement

Alt 7: Fishing

Alt 8: Chocolate

Alt 9: Movie/play

Alt 10: Truth or Dare

Enjoy Fluffruary! Can not wait to see your work!

[jc26art]

A little while ago I made this fabric-portrait-collage thing of John Flansburgh of They Might Be Giants for art class. @tmbgareok

Many changes were made along the way, as well as double that amount of mistakes. I’m still baffled that this was good enough to win Pennsylvania Art Education Association’s Fiber category award, or win a Scholastics Silver Key award, or any of that, but I’ll take it. I was frustrated at times because I knew I might not consider this my best work (not that I would be able to pick something that I would choose to consider my absolute best) and yet it was being the one getting so much recognition, but if anything it just inspires me to continue trying to put my work out there, especially pieces I’m extra proud of.

This was the reference image I used, and I swear I tried so hard to make him smile the frown was NOT deliberate thank you very much. Basically I posterized the image, traced the values, made pieces, cut them out, and then some other riveting stuff. Okay, but actually, it was a pretty fun (albeit frustrating) process. The idea stemmed from Bisa Butler’s quilted portraits, and oh my gosh, they’re these amazing full sized quilts!!! If you like my work here, I would give her name a search. I would also give it a search if you don’t like my work. It’s so weird to look at your piece on websites and be able to point out several mistakes when all of the others look perfect, but maybe the other artists feel the same way. Or I just need to get better, I dunno.

I’m so grateful to have been given this opportunity, and I thank everyone who has given me support and encouragement to continue making art. I also must thank John & John, the inspiration for this project. There’s not much competition against TMBG when it comes to being my favorite band, really. There’s no other band I know that doesn’t have a single song I’ve heard and haven’t liked.

Oh, that’s… yeah, that’s a lot of words. If you read all of that, hey, I appreciate you! And John, if you see this, I can’t wait to see your show in Pittsburgh this May! Thanks! :)

[vivicantstudy]

hi girly!! i need your help. i’ve been learning spanish for about a year now, but i feel like i’m not retaining anything. i can say most basic sentences and somewhat hold a conversation, but i struggle with words and the endings like the present tense, past tense, and stuff like that. I was wondering if you have any methods or apps that can help me retain and understand the language a little more?

Helloooo! That’s awesome that you’ve been learning Spanish for a year! It’s totally normal to feel a bit stuck sometimes, especially with verb tenses and endings. Here are some tips that might help:

First, I recommend using simple apps for spaced repetition, like Anki. They’re easy to use and really help with retention. For verb tenses, create charts for verbs (like hablar: hablo, hablas) and practice filling them in regularly. Writing simple sentences or reading aloud can also boost your confidence.

I truly believe that the easiest and fastest way to learn is through immersion. Listen to podcasts, watch shows with Spanish subtitles, and read children’s books or news apps like El País. The more you surround yourself with the language, the better.

HelloTalk is great for chatting with native speakers, so don’t be shy about that and try talking to people more often. Also, create an account on Twitter/X and follow Spanish accounts. Engaging with others by replying to tweets can really help you practice.

To really incorporate Spanish into your life, include it in your hobbies. Change your phone and social media language settings, and try to play games or watch movies in Spanish. This way, you’ll constantly be exposed to the language in different contexts.

Try talking to yourself. You can do this in the mirror or create scenarios in your head. I love Spanish dramas, so I often pretend I’m inside a novel and start talking to myself. It’s actually a lot of fun and helps you see exactly what you don’t know, allowing you to practice the specific words and sentences you need to improve.

Honestly, what might feel the silliest, like talking to yourself, keeping a diary, creating a chatting account, or even reading or watching kids’ books, can actually help you the most. If you’re struggling with the basics, you need to start with the simple stuff. Maybe your mind is too full, making it hard to keep going, so simplifying your approach can really help.

You might also try keeping a diary in Spanish or making collages and journals. Decorate your Spanish notebook (get a real one if you don’t have it; writing helps with absorption). This creative process can make learning feel more personal and engaging.

For more structured learning, try Lingvist or Clozemaster for grammar and vocab. Conjugato is great for practicing verb conjugations, and Busuu lets you interact with native speakers. SpanishDict is also super helpful for checking conjugations and grammar rules.

Start with the present tense, then move on to past tenses like preterite (for completed actions) and imperfect (for ongoing actions). When you feel comfortable, dive into the subjunctive, which is used for wishes and doubts.

I don’t know how you’re learning or the best way for you to do it since everyone is different. But if you haven’t tried immersion yet, I highly recommend it. I also got stuck with Spanish, but after I started immersing myself, I felt like things got better.

Good luck ( ˘ ³˘) ₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩 I’m glad that my blog has made you comfortable enough to send me a message. If you want something more specific, don’t hesitate to ask me; I might be able to help! I’m not fluent, but as someone who has faced many difficulties, I’ve had to research learning methods that might be useful. ¡Que tengas un gran día, chiquita!

[tigerdrop]

Hi I pre-ordered the keychain and I'm very excited for it!! I wanted to know how you think it would go if Bill and Ford were to reunite at some point post Weirdmageddon, Bill is still incredibly obsessed with Ford (and likely that will never change), but Ford is angry at him because of the past, do you think they could work something out?

oh i absolutely do. i was just thinking about this the other day.......sure it would be healthier for both of them to cope and move on, but would it be more fun?? NO!!!!!!!!

i can make it work. im going to write this eventually but right now im working on a fic about the first time bill and ford hook up. but i can make it work

consider bill taking a lot of misguided lessons from his therapy sessions and thinking "well clearly the way to fix all of this and get sixer back is to go back in time and redo everything. but better this time". envision this going haywire in every way you would expect going back in time to fix things to do

even funnier if bill decides hes going to break out of the theraprism to do this. he Did not learn a fucking thing other than "if you are mean to somebody they might not like you anymore". mission accomplished

i think he could fuck things up so bad with time travel bullshit . it would be so funny. we all saw the fucking time travel episode, ok, now imagine something like that except with bill desperately trying to interrupt the timeline to show sixer that hes got Emotional Intelligence now, he did therapy, he made collages and lumpy clay hearts that he DIDNT smash into goop, and hes Better than the bill ford knew when he was younger. it would be so embarrassing to watch

my vision is that bill makes such a huge fucking mess of the timeline and of their dimension and it causes so many problems for so many people and they are all So mad at him. except, weirdly enough, for ford

the guys on trial for time crimes and the only one willing to say a nice thing about him is his dipshit ex with an ego bigger than god. because he actually feels touched that bill did all of this stuff just for him. and bill apologized, even if he doesnt fully understand the purpose of "apologies" or "contrition"

it hits ford square in the emotional intersection of "i never stopped thinking about bill even though he fucked me over and i never want to see him again" and "bill would cause this much trouble and this much chaos out of a misguided attempt to patch things up". he actually cares!!!

and its cartoons. its not like bill has to go to fucking time jail if i dont want him to. ford can abruptly interrupt to defend him out of nowhere while every single member of his family thinks he has lost his mind. the power of love (and time community service) can get him out of it. And it can work

ford never stopped being easy to flatter and having a god move heaven and earth just to make him happier is like the biggest ego boost known to man. so even if hes still hurt over everything i dont think he could resist feeling that special. that powerful

but now hes older and smarter and he doesnt have anything to offer bill. and bill doesnt have anything he wants anymore. except, you know. company

so i think ford is easily stupid enough to have one last pity date that turns into a second and a third and so on. its not like everything is fixed but bill showed that he was actually capable of emotional growth. he Did change. just for some dumbass human. which is crazayyyyyy

(and now at least 7 different people/creatures/entities would explode bill into 1 million pieces if he throws another fucking tantrum. and fords got that aluminum plate in his head......hes the one in control now. bill cant do anything except, maybe, break fords heart. which would also make everybody explode him)

everybody hates that bill shows up to family functions now but what can you do. sometimes the interdimensional dream demon that possessed you and slammed your hands in drawers ends up dating your grunkle. Its basically the same as having a stepdad

and they could fuck about it. The end

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

Misc. Tag Game! ✨

thank you for the tags @ronald-speirs @panzershrike-pretz and @sharkboyandlavalieb !!!

Made by the amazing @ronald-speirs 💖

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Hmmm I’m gonna have to go with when my mom, sister, and I all went to Las Vegas for my 21st birthday! It was so much fun and just an incredible experience 💕

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Probably continuing my therapy journey! I’ve been in therapy continuously since I graduated in 2020 and I feel like I’ve made some good progress! I’m proud of myself for not giving up when things felt impassable

Favorite books?

Soooo i’m not too big on reading but something I will read over and over again is the fruits basket series!!!! That’s the only book series I’ve read in its entirety and I love every bit of it!!!

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

It’s not the dart scene at the start of replacements idk what you’re talking about

Favorite thing about your culture?

About being American? I guess just the fact that BoB is American 🤣

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

Umm i think in April ‘23?? @dontirrigateme and I had just watched the x-men first class movies and wanted to watch more James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, so of course we watched BoB… the world has never been the same

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I’m trying to read Ambrose’s book right now, but I have Winters’ Beyond Band of Brothers, Guarnere and Babe’s book, and a couple others on my shelf!! (if anyone finds Webster’s shark book i promise you my first born for a copy of that)

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Oh goodness there’re so many!!! Ummm well right now I’m going thru a Liebgott phase oml the man makes me FOAM AT THE MOUTH so I’m gonna go with when he tends to Talbert on the Night of the Bayonet, like Liebgott is known for his temper and fighting but here (and with Tipper) you can see he’s an absolute SWEETHEART AAAA I WOULD DIE FOR JOSEPH DAVID LIEBGOTT

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I’ve just recently started writing for BoB!! I also have some Pokemon x BoB collages that I’ve made 🥰

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Johnny Depp hands down, and absolutely pirates of the caribbean, it’s just all-around lovely and whimsical and amazing (fun fact till like middle school i had no idea what Johnny Depp actually looked like because my only references for him were Captain Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka and they just did not look the same to me 🤣)

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

I think I’ve said this before, but it’s a quote from my blorbo Vincent Van Gogh, “I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

My dad’s retired Navy, so I grew up moving around until he retired when I was about 8!

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

ASDFDL I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING A BETA READER

Three things that make you smile? (I’m watching BoB rn so this is about to be BoB momes)

“CURRAHEEEEEEE!”

“We salute the rank not the man”

“I’m John Wayne! The costume department set me up with these nice navy whites, what do ya think!?”

Any nicknames you like?

Honestly I just feel warm and fuzzy when given any nickname, I’ve been called Em, Emmy, Ems, my favorite might be “Yellow,” I’ve had three separate best friends give me this nickname just cuz they associate me with the color yellow and sunshine vibes ✨

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

ASDJ:LKF THERE ARE SO MANY @dontirrigateme @panzershrike-pretz @ithinkabouttzu @executethyself35 @ronsparky @love--persevering @ronald-speirs @sweetxvanixlla @whollyjoly @xxluckystrike @venus-haze @thicccqueyoongimin @joetoyesbrassknuckles101 @neptunes-blue @ewipandora @hanniewinnix @sharkboyandlavalieb @footprintsinthesxnd @mutantmanifesto @jump-wings @malarkgirlypop @mads-nixon @blueberry-ovaries @coco-bean-1218 @b00ks1ut AND SO SO MANY MORE I'M SORRY IF I DIDNT TAG YOU I PROMISE I LOVE YOU

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Cry and die probably

Favorite movie?

Bohemian Rhapsody, the Mummy, and Pirates of the Carribean, and the Blair Witch Project!

Do you like horror movies? YES!! Especially found footage movies!!

No pressure tags!! @dontirrigateme , @ithinkabouttzu , @executethyself35 , @neptunes-blue , @thicccqueyoongimin , @love--persevering , @jump-wings , @blueberry-ovaries and anyone else who wants to do this!!! 💖

[kuwdora]

heyyyy let me try another blogging entry type of thing. Pretty much each week my brain turns to ooze by Friday from all this jobdyssy and networking and all the burnout still dragging me down. I refuse to let the world and my brain gaslight me and I'm pushing myself so hard and taking rests and being deliberate with my time and effort for getting some contract work and other things - but this job market fucking sucks so much and I'm so frustrated by some of my circumstances and things outside of my control. It's obnoxious. the bullshit people have to go through right now for interviews and shit..it's awful.

It would help if my insomnia wasn't so bad. I'm fairly bedraggled more often than not which makes everything hard. I dream of sleeping more than 5 or 6 hours a night. well I don't actually dream since I don't think I'm getting enough sleep to get to the dream stage but regardless. It would be great to sleep a full night. I miss being able to nap, too but my body just doesn't let me do that anymore either. In other news, I've been rewatching witcher season 3 and Suits season 9 for background noise while I work on some collage and painting projects. I have a list of like 45 other shows that I could watch for the first time but I'm still needing to be in that rewatch zone.

the witcher fixation remains strong...just buried under all of my other wips and things going on in my brain right now. I'm soo looking forward to season 4 for whatever nice things I'll get from it and whatever disappointments I gotta brace myself for when the new season's here. I got a bunch of new comments last weekend on all my yennskier fic which was so lovely and just reminding me of how many more yennskier wips I have. and now i want to work on those. Except I'm neck-deep in other new projects. so I'll see if I can actually finish what I'm working on right now.

I'm going through the motions of working on new things I'm enjoying working on but. But. Also having that fear that no one going to like it even though I've shown a few things to a few people here and there and had received positive feedback on it. It's been awhile since I've been doing this kind of collaging before and it's something I can manage to do really slowly while my brain is melted from my days. It feels great to come full circle to a style and technique I had been doing ages ago but come back to it with my accumulated creative experience behind me. I'm having so much fun. Even though I'm so fucking tiredddddd. But also at some point I want to share. but not yet. oooh, also! wanted to say thank you everyone who signal boosted my ko-fi shop! the sales and tips def helpin' me out. I might add a few more paintings and a terracotta pot if I can track them down. I just have so many random pieces that are just getting lost in the clutter of my apartment.

I have a few more witcher painty-collage ideas I've placed in a pile to work on when I get done with my current things. but as always, too many wips, bwah.

[geonppangi]

now that we know that zb1 is getting a show, here are some variety content i want to see

one thing that i don’t really love about variety shows is sometimes they designate one member as the mc/judge because they have an odd number. which is fair! but also i like seeing everyone be able to participate, so i thought it’d be fun if they compete individually or in groups of 3 and then have an expert come in to moderate. so everyone can do it and it would be more educational for everyone too lmfao

also mnet if you’re reading this, feel free to steal these ideas. i want to see these happen so badly

art episode

yes this is because i want to see ricky kill it like????

but i’m also really curious to know how good the other members are at art

maybe like a the members draw each other?? and they can pair up the members who don’t know each other that well

or they can choose what medium they want to use and do like something that represents their upcoming debut like a collage or smth like that

i love mixed media can one of them pls do it

or!!!!! they can do a design contest for the fanclub mascot and we can all vote lmao

so like bts with bt21

would also be a really cute way to introduce the name like maybe the members find out at the beginning of the episode and then based on what they drew we can try to guess what our name is

the potential is endless i’m telling you

i could see them either inviting an actual artist in to help or just straight up letting them go wild

but ricky is their expert

so i just found out after writing this whole thing that jiwoong is also good at art?? ^^his art

so if he and ricky are the new experts now

i think it’d be cool to see them collaborate on a piece and it would be very chill

while in the bg you just hear the members losing it

cooking/baking episode

similar to the cake decorating they did during the finale

i’m also thinking like seventeen’s cooking segments?

we can do teams of 3

can be same format as when they were preparing for their performances on boys planet but instead of killing part, main vocalist, etc, it can be appetizer, entree, and dessert or something like that

to make it even more interesting, they can play a game to find out what ingredients they get or the secret ingredient that they have to work with

so either like the camping cooking segment or like the show mom vs chef where they get an unpopular ingredient and have to make it appetizing

OR no teams and everyone creates their own thing

and they invite a celebrity chef to come be their judge/mc

pls i need a gordon ramsay crossover

i want to see him and gyuvin interact like i cannot tell you why but yeah (also yes, gyuvin can speak english but idk how well)

halloween cosplay episode

i might be biased because i am a cosplayer

but imagine a halloween themed episode where they have to make their own costumes

maybe they’re given like different fabrics or random clothes to work with

and they can figure out their own hair, makeup, and props too

i want at least one member to try sewing like i need to see it

they could invite special guests to come and teach them how to work with stuff like worbla or a sewing machine

and then at the end they have to model all of the costumes and film a dance practice in them because ofc they do

AND THEY ALSO GO TRICK OR TREATING

dorm content

obviously we need some dorm vlogs!!

like if we could get an episode of the members balancing being idols and school for some of them

also a dorm moving in + bedroom decor episode

i’d love to see the members do challenges to win like a budget for their common space furniture

and then an ikea vlog of them trying to get furniture in a certain amount of time maybe??

or it’s a scavenger hunt for money inside of ikea while they’re simultaneously looking for furniture

also cooking vlogs or maybe the members try to host a housewarming party

i’d literally cry if they plan a housewarming and then invite their friends from boys planet to come

please i just need to see dog union and junrae reunite

and imagine if we can get wumuti, seo won, woongki, and hwan hee

this is purely wish fulfillment but i want it so badly

and i want to see their skincare + morning routines

closet tour?? the boys shared their clothes so often on the show that it was hard to tell who wears what normally

pc decorating episode

could be an album unboxing episode

and if the album itself has any sort of interactive element like how seventeen’s semicolon had the weaving kit then they could assemble that

they can also get toploaders to decorate

it can be based on the pcs they pull because i have a strange desire to know what their pc luck is like

also i know this is sort of blasphemy but it is their album so ig they get a pass

but imagine journaling but with the photobook and maybe stickers if they include any

in case you can’t tell, i want to see how artistic the boys are lmfao

amusement park episode

we all knew this was coming

why are we surprised

hear me out, it’s a combo of an escape room and an amusement park

so like to escape the amusement park they need to collect clues which are scattered all around the park

some of the clues require them to go on the ride first

they can also be split up into teams of 3 maybe?? to see who can get out first

and the team that gets out last has to go on a ride that the other two teams pick

school episode

i want yujin to be the teacher

and the rest of them are the students

and they all play some sort of character but like switched

watch sung hanbin and zhang hao switch

jiwoong and gyuvin

matthew and gunwook

this is purely because i need to see gunwook cringe while doing aegyo

gunwook our canadian oppa

tbh i think matthew can pull off the student president character

ooohhhh and he should debate too

and i saved the best for last

taerae and ricky switch, outfits and all

THINK ABOUT IT

LIKE RICH EXCHANGE STUDENT TAERAE

AND LOSER (AFFECTIONATE) FASHION TERRORIST RICKY

---

show and tell?? mini series

like i want each member to teach the other members a specialty of theirs

ig ricky’s was the art episode already so pretend that’s here

cafe episode

yes this was inspired by my idea of hanbin teaching all of the members how to tut and waack

but i feel like that’s too easy, so how about having hanbin bring the group to his family’s cafe and they run it for a day LMAO

or maybe help run it…

and hanbin’s mom can teach them (not hanbin bc cold injeolmi toast…)

i want gyuvin waiter like i cannot tell you why but

and taerae too bc the more i can see him smile the lighter my soul feels

and matthew waiter for the same reason ofc!!!

jiwoong making coffee, pls he has such barista vibes

hanbin on making hot desserts because i want him to redeem himself

and gunwook and yujin on decorating desserts because i also need them to redeem themselves for their cake

ricky on sodas and smoothies because his mocktail video was just too smooth like that’s what won me over

zhang hao on tea and tea lattes

idrk why but i feel like he’d be good on whisking matcha

like the violinist wrist yknow

strings ensemble episode

also zhang hao teaching them how to play violin

he can also play piano and gunwook said that one of his goals was to learn how to play

so what if they make their own little strings ensemble with gunwook piano solo

you cannot tell me that gyuvin doesn’t give off double bass and taerae doesn’t give off cello energy

as a cellist, i’m claiming taerae

ricky would probably play violin, like it has very expensive vibes

and hanbin too because haobin violin lessons…can you see the vision

i think yujin and matthew would play viola. i don’t have any reasoning but ik some violists and they all have that energy

jiwoong gives me saxophone vibes 💀 but since we can’t have that, i’ll also give him the cello

it has a really warm and deep sound?? idk i feel like it suits him but maybe i’m going insane

wouldn’t it be so cute if they played an arrangement of their debut title track

also not alone would be soooooo cute

learning english episode

with our canadian oppa matthew

i think it’d be so funny if ricky and gyuvin pretended like they didn’t know any english

ik vancouverites don’t really have a “canadian accent” but i want matthew to mess with them by doing like a newfoundland accent so badly

or he just starts speaking french but with like an english accent and we see how long it takes the other members to figure it out

i feel like ricky would know but not say anything

debate episode

so as we know, gunwook is a debate kid (i say that both lovingly and maliciously)

so essentially going seventeen’s debate night LMAO

i want the members to vote on something that they fundamentally believe to be true

like what way should toilet paper go

and then put them on the opposite team

BUT we follow actual debate rules so they have to do research and cite their sources

prepare objections, etc etc

all within like 15 minutes lmfao

---

musical episode pt 2

but i specifically want them to write the whole thing

one team can write the script, another can write the music and choreograph and another can build the sets and plan costumes

as the resident actor, i nominate jiwoong to write the script and help direct

maybe gunwook for writing too? he’s a nerd and a debate kid so i feel like his writing must be good

MUSIC TEACHER HAO WITJ DANCE TEACHER BIN AND SINGER SONGWRITER TAERAE

literally the dream team i’m sobbing

ricky on set design and costumes because he’s an art kid so i trust him

and matthew too because his cake in the final episode was actually really cute??

not sure where i’d put gyuvin and yujin? maybe gyuvin on script writing so he can be with gunwook because i will never get sick of watching them interact

and yujin on set design?? but also yujin and jiwoong (T ^ T) and i want to see the sheer chaos that is gyuvin trying to build a set

maybe they can play rock paper scissors to figure it out

actually just a whole school performance episode or mini series??

so each episode could be a different performance that they put on as a school recital

to perform for their parents LMAO (yes this is just the artist battle special star creator stage)

i need them to do a spoken word poem and or interpretive dance because i had to do that in elementary school and i need somebody else to share in my suffering

some ideas include: a poem about the importance of colours?? and a series of tableaus depicting the creation of the Canadian Pacific Railway

they could also do church plays but instead of stories from the bible they can be like korean folktales or disney ripoffs

and ofc they have to do the awkward singing and then doing hand movements that correlate to the lyrics of the song

could also be done with their debut track btw

i want fancams of all of this

sports day

you know i had to do it

isac also works!! but idk if they're doing that so um

so with the summer olympics coming up in 2024, i think it’d be so funny if they do some summer olympics sports

volleyball segment for gunwook our resident haikyuu nerd please

and they can wear the uniforms from the anime too

please please please wakeone think about it

also imagine a skateboarding episode?? idk why maybe it’s the north american but i feel like matthew would be surprisingly good at it?

also surfing?????

idk if the surfing scene in korea is good but if not they can always take a trip to hawaii or smth i certainly will not be complaining

esports + pc building episode

listen we have 3 whole gamers in the group, this is kind of perfect

the gamers can be the captains of each team

i want the lame ass esports poses and intros

and the stats too like imagine

ALSO if you guys have seen the trash taste pc building special but think about the potential

so it’s partly based on skill and also how well they can build a pc

so they build the pcs and then play using the pcs

there should be a separate prize or bonus for building it the fastest (but not necessarily the best)

also i want the editing thing where they have an expert build the pc properly and then every time that the boys fuck up, the clip of them messing up is played right after the expert does it the correct way

think about the chaos

mock trial episode

same sort of thing as the debate night but they have to represent their clients

i feel like sung hanbin would be the defendant like i have no evidence for this but i want someone to indict him

he just seems like he would be really good at pretending to have not committed a crime

and then 2 attorneys and 2 witnesses on each side

prosecutors: gunwook and zhang hao (imagine the haobin tension guys) (also gunwook just has major prosecution vibes idk what to tell you)

defence attorneys: matthew and gyuvin

prosecution’s witnesses: yujin and taerae

defence’s witnesses: jiwoong and ricky

i feel like gunwook and zhang hao would be really good and logical

but like how can you not want to trust matthew and gyuvin like they’re so sweet

also i need them for comedy

gyuvin would 100% object to random shit and i need that

i’m sorry but i can’t imagine yujin and taerae being very good witnesses so ig it balanced out gunwook and zhang hao?

and jiwoong and ricky would be AMAZING witnesses

like it took skill to not be evil edited so ricky would be able to keep his calm so well and jiwoong too like i would trust whatever they say

and the judge could be an actual lawyer they brought on as the expert for the episode

and the jury can be the staff lmfao

now what is hanbin’s crime you might be asking?

being too handsome tbh i have no idea maybe the fans can vote on it the week before or smth LMFAO

---

volunteering mini series!

it really warms my heart to see people give back to the community, especially idols because it inspires a lot of fans to do so too!

it’d be really nice if maybe as a holiday special? they went around to different places and volunteered to spread awareness for the causes

maybe it’d be better if they split up?

the members can choose what they’re passionate about too

my personal suggestions/ideas would be:

a retirement home (they can perform music for the elderly people there. i’m thinking zhang hao and taerae would be a good combo)

a hospital

a soup kitchen

a community centre (i’d love to see hanbin and gunwook teach after school dance lessons to children)

and the proceeds for the episode could go towards different charities or programs for these places (ie if they need more funding or renovations) as well as a link for fans to donate more to these places

---

[erinfern0]

7 minutes in heaven

fwb!gaz x gn!reader

- gender neutral anatomy, only pronouns used are you etc.

summary: you made this agreement out of frustration but none of you seem to regret it. in fact - both of you seem to want even more than just fwb situation.

warnings: talk of virginity/virginity loss, semi-public, mutual masturbation, friends with benefits, alcohol use, weed use, collage party.

You were friends since the beginning of middle school, so most people just assumed you were a couple, but as much as you and him wished – you were pretty far from that.

Yeah, you made that agreement back when you were both just starting to experience the real adult life. You were always there for each other, it was only logical you also help each other in other ways.

You brought it up first, wanting to lose your 'virginity' with the only man you trusted enough to do it, secretly crushing on him for years before you decided to tell him. He was shocked, to say the least, and flattered too. It never occurred to him before that you might put so much of that trust into him, but he couldn't have it any other way. It felt right that he would be the one and only to do it.

Especially, that both of you shared the opinion that virginity was just a social construct and is not as important as people make it to be. Unfortunately, you live in a society that puts pressure on people to feel like it's this whole big deal. You were also tired of listening to your friends bragging or complaining about their first times. You wanted to finally know what all the fuss is about.

Your conversation was awkward, as they mostly are between two young adults who have little to no experience and sex topics. Well, you agreed on something. Whenever you want to experience something new, release some stress, or just have fun, you'll be there for each other. For the first couple of years it was truly simple. A couple of cuddles and kisses through rougher moments of your life. You were actually very grateful you told him about your idea.

The first time you did something more intimate was when you were both invited to a college party. You two, being too drunk and too high to care about a thing in the world. You started making out and, thanks to the encouragement of your peers – you ended up closed in a separate bedroom together for the magical '7 minutes in heaven' game.

The first two minutes, you just talked. Trying to ease the growing tension between the two of you, feeling his gaze piercing straight through your body. You felt warm, a little too warm to notice how easily his hand slid under your shirt to feel the soft skin of your stomach, just slowly caressing it to feel every single curve or distinguishing feature about it. You stopped half-word to look down at his hand but froze, seeing how he was palming himself through his pants at the same time.

"Keep talking, please." he whispered, hovering against you for his mouth to find your neck, leaving tiny kisses all over it just the way you liked. But this time wasn't as sweet and innocent as all the other ones. His lips started a slow and sloppy trail of wet spots all over your sensitive skin, looking for the most vulnerable places.

You were getting warmer, especially between your legs, aching to be touched, but you complied. He needed you and as the agreement said – you were supposed to be there for him. It felt slightly wrong to do it in a messy room, with a bunch of drunk people behind the wall. It also felt rushed and stressful to do it, knowing how little time you two had for each other.

But you did exactly as he asked of you, kept talking. At first, just about this whole situation and how weird it was that you were put in a room together like this. You laughed a little just thinking how silly it was of you two to accept the challenge. When you noticed how he reacted to your voice, you couldn't help but change the topic.

You started shyly guiding his hands over your body with your words, allowing one of his hands to travel over the plush of your thighs while the other took care of his throbbing member. You could see the outline of him through his boxers, and you could easily tell he was pretty big and so painfully hard. Just for you, for your voice and body. You could already sense this was far beyond the agreement. You not only needed each other. You craved each other.

Your mind was getting dizzier every second, allowing him to do more and more, slowly losing yourself to the feeling entirely, joining him. You pushed your hand down under your pants and smiled, quietly whimpering as you tried to match his pace.

And he made it a challenge for you to come sooner than him. He kept pumping his cock in his fist faster or slower, depending on how close you were – he could wait. And when you finally did cum after endless minutes of edging, he straight up kissed you while cumming in his underwear, moaning into your mouth. None of you seemed to notice that your friends didn't come back for you after the seven minutes had passed.

After you came back to your house, you couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened. Despite all the beer and joints you shared with him, you remembered the night quite well. At least, your body remembered it.

Your eyes remembered the way he looked, so breathtaking as he stroked himself to you. Your nose remembered the smell of his cologne and beer he had drunk, fitting the party scene well. Your ears remembered his soft encouragements and whispers of your name as he kept himself on the edge for you or the way his breath shuddered as he came. Your hands remembered the way you held his shoulder and forearm while he was cumming, just enough to remind him how close you were. And your tongue still remembered the taste of his lips over yours.

Everything in your head kept repeating his name, but a sudden realization crushed you as soon as you lied down in your bed the following night. He probably doesn't remember a thing, since he had way more alcohol than you. A quiet whine left your lips as you covered your warm face with a pillow. You kept it there until you heard the familiar sound of a notification coming from your phone. You sighed and looked at it with a frown on your brows as you read over the message that was now stuck in your head.

"Can't stop thinking about you. Let me know if you want to do it properly this time,

Kyle."

And you sure as hell wanted it as much as he did.

Remember that virginity issue you had at the beginning of your agreement? Well, let's just say it was gone before midnight, and it was way better than what your friends made you think. Kyle made sure you were comfortable and relaxed the whole time, which made you love him even more.

masterlist | request info | kinktober 23

[jennifersminds]

I LOVE your writing, do you have any advice for new writers?

hello !!! thank you so much anon <333 truly means so much to me 🎀🩷

I’m definitely not the best person for advice because I (to my detriment - looking at you months long hiatus) I mostly wing it but there are a few things I think are good to keep in mind,

1. might seem stupid but have fun !! and remember that you’re writing for fun. Write fics because they excite you and they’re something you want to see. Don’t get caught up in the numbers and worrying about what people will think, I thought Plastic Crown would literally be read by like ten people max because it was so absurd but (and I’m so unbelievably grateful seriously everyone who enjoys that fic,, i love u, i would fight your enemies in a mcdonald’s parking lot) I was wrong.

I mean, take with a grain of salt since every fic I wrote is drowning in self indulgence but still. Fanfic is fun! So have fun with it.

2. Super hypocritical but storyboard !! I’m currently experiencing the worst fkn writers block because I didn’t and now i’m trying to get everything planned before I update lmao

Another thing that saved me and actually got me stared in writing was my notes app. i’d put excerpts from fics I was reading that I felt really captured the vibe I wanted to create between or within characters. Random pieces of dialogue. details and just vague prompts and it’s a lifesaver.

3. Going back to point one kinda, try not to compare your fics to other people’s. That goes for Stats, reviews, writing styles, all of it. It’s pointless, fic is totally subjective and everyone’s gonna have their own vibe so just stick to working on yours.

4. Try and make stuff for your fic, seriously Pinterest boards, collages, gif sets, spotify playlists. Build up the world you wanna write about so it’s something that you feel you can just step into. Make it visceral and exciting even if it’s just exciting to you.

5. have like a drink or something that you associate with writing, for me it’s pink monster energy but for the sake of your heart maybe pick something different. like tea or anything not drowning in vague chemicals and caffeine. Can be anything like a candle, a playlist, just something to get in the vibe.

6. Talk about your fics, friends are a lifesaver in fandom, I cannot tell you how many times @vorpalmuchness and @katherineholmes have helped me figure something out just by letting my talk at them until something clicks. Vorpal in particular has suffered through that many many times (ily bestie ty for the face times)

7. and finally, write badly. seriously, just word vomit into a google doc if you’re struggling. Atleast then you have a jumping off point. It’s so rarely going to be a slam dunk on your first try so just,, do it. Get it out, get the vibe and run with it

Anyway, thank you so much for the ask anon. I hope atleast some of this helps xx

[fuckmeyer]

random! but I absolutely love your interpretation of Bella and Edward and was wondering what you think Bella would gift Edward for his birthday — i know she gifts him her visions as a vampire and compiles them in a lil montage, but I'm more interested in what you think she'd opt for left to her mere human talents

aw, thank you, anon! glad you like my interpretation of Bella & Edward. love your question. tricky! what do you get the rich century-old vampire for a celebration he typically ignores? the perfect gift requires a fundamental understanding of who this man is, what he wants, & what he needs.

i think (& believe this applies to canon too)...

Edward has a contradiction within him that leads to his suffering. he reads others' minds; no one can do the same, yet he hears everyone's judgments about him. most are projections, but what they all instinctively know is also what he fears: he's a monster. this skews his perception of himself because it "confirms" what he "knows." being a monster makes him inherently bad. selfish. cruel. violent. unworthy. soulless. his opinion isn't all negative: he knows he's curious, intelligent, musical, etc., but these traits all stem from or are influenced by his vampirism...meaning all his positive traits are shadowed by his "evilness"

by virtue of trying to be a better person, some part of him knows this is not who he truly is. deep down, he wants to be seen— the parts of him he's forgotten, denied, or ignored but exist nonetheless. he wants to be seen as good. worthy. deserving. human. lovable. soulful. he wants someone to see the suffering, the contradiction. he wants someone to see he's lonely. that his needs aren't met. that he's misunderstood.

part of why he's drawn to Bella is her "goodness" &, more importantly, her silent mind. not only does she draw the best out of him, but he can't see the worst of himself through her eyes. as annoying as he says it is, being blocked from her mind is a relief.

which leads us to another thing Edward wants: Edward wants to see Bella's mind. canon Bella kinda understands this by the end with the lil vampire montage, but as a human, she lacks self confidence & self awareness to understand Edward truly is interested in knowing her.

ok, so say she has more self-confidence & enough self-awareness & knows Edward well enough to understand what he wants and needs... here's how the birthday goes:

she would take him someplace where he can't hear anyone's thoughts (e.g. the meadow, but tbh it'd be fun if she took him someplace he's never been. he can enjoy the surprise & mystery.)

she would plan activities he's typically excluded from. e.g., a game of chess/cards, maybe a picnic (even if he can't eat, he can enjoy a human experience)

she would wear an outfit he loves on her (NO green sweater. sorry folks)

she might make a mixtape of songs she loved as a child & details the memories behind them, OR a mixtape of songs from their relationship showcasing her favorite memories together. i.e., giving him a peek into her mind through something they have in common

fucking CUTE ASS HOMEMADE CARD drawn/painted by her. if she was brave, all her mushy feelings she would never say out loud would go into this (or in an accompanying letter). i could also see her making a collage: she would cut out quotes about love from his favorite books, put in some pressed flowers he's given her, maybe mementos from their time together (ticket stubs, fave lyrics, scraps from their Bio homework with their flirty notes written in the margins, photos, etc). if she journals, maybe she cuts out some sections where she's writing about him. something that shows him that, just as he's grateful for every second of their time together, she values that time just as much

straight up she might ask him if there's anything he wants to do with her. if he wants to take her to a bookstore or record store & drop a cool thousand on her, she will grin & bear it. if he wants to slowdance with her for hours, great. if he wants her to go to Mike Newton's & kick him in the balls...well, maybe they can compromise & egg his house or sth

ok this idea won't leave my brain so here ya go: taking a favorite date of theirs but making it totally solo. thinking particularly of going to the drive-in theater. except instead of going to the drive-in, she would roll that Chevy out to the woods, there's a projector & screen all set up, the truckbed is filled with blankets & pillows & snacks, & they watch his favorite movie together

she would touch him. not sexually because that would put him on edge. but she would play with his hair & rub his back & touch his skin & cuddle & hold his hand etc., because LORD KNOWS this man is touch-starved after decades of being alone & this lack of contact has contributed to his low self esteem

ultimately, she would give him what he wants (her) while showing him that she understands what he needs (to be seen). THAT, to me, would be the ultimate gift for the man who seemingly has everything.

[bluedalahorse]

Friday is for Felice and Sara’s friendship

I thought it might be nice to make a rambly, less polished post about Felice’s friendships, so I’m going to make it.

I’ll start by talking about Sara. I thought about adding other characters, but I might just have time for Sara today, so I’ll add other characters at another time.

This morning (and other times) I’ve been thinking about what Felice and Sara’s friendship will look like post-Hillerska. I’ve been thinking about this in terms of challenges they might face—not no a way where I want them to suffer or want to give them pointless arguments for the drama of it all, just in the way where most friendships have challenges as the participants grow up, and watching friends grow up and overcome challenges together is part of the joy of friendship stories.

The first thing I wonder about is distance. Are Sara and Felice going to be physically in the same space, in the future? It’s possible they aren’t. I do wonder about Simon and Sara moving to Göteborg to be with family, and maybe ending up there, while Felice ends up in another place altogether. In one of my fics I had her heading to a girls’ boarding school abroad in Scotland, which is an idea I’m still pretty fond of. (Even though I know single-sex school is not a thing that Nordic countries do, so maybe Felice’s family wouldn’t want her doing that, who knows.)

With and Felice and Sara physically far apart, how do they make time to connect? Weekly FaceTimes? Texting one another pictures of something specific from their day? Old-fashioned post cards? I imagine they’d come up with some sort of cute ritual that would be important to them during this time.

The next thing I wonder about would be new friend groups and new hobbies and areas of interest. Felice is Sara’s first friend, and Sara is Felice’s first honest friend. Having established that bond, I think they’d be able to make more friends in their new places.

I’d love to see Sara make other neurodivergent friends and gain some language around disability politics and self-advocacy. In the immediate aftermath of Hillerska, I also see her jumping from hobby to hobby, and trying out new things to fill the parts of her heart that are probably still a little sad about losing horses. I can see her trying out things like crochet and collaging. Maybe she does poetry and that sticks a little more. I read a friend’s fic snippet where Sara is trying ice skating and it lives rent free in my brain.

On Felice’s end, I’d love to see her in a very different friend clique than the one where she was part of at Hillerska, and potentially one organized around a shared pursuit. Maybe a girls’ sports team (football/soccer? field hockey? women’s rugby?) or a theatre troupe or something like that. Something where everyone could work toward a common goal. Of course I want Felice to continue to develop her cooking skills, and maybe she could have cooking friends. (Felice in a Just Add Magic AUfic?) That said it would also be fun if she had a cooking rival, where they dramatically compete one another but deeply respect one another deep down.

As the girls branch out, I can see that creating points of tension they need to work through. Felice might feel intimidated at first as Sara starts talking about ableism and activism, and there may also be times where Sara feels more comfortable talking to an AuDHD friend than Felice about something AuDHD-related. It might take them some emotionally stressful moments to realize that’s ok! Meanwhile if Felice goes to school abroad or even attends an international school in Stockholm, Sara might worry that Felice’s new friends are going to be more worldly and interesting than she is, and periodically feel insecure. There may be times where they don’t talk as much and perhaps worry that the other is growing away from them. I think they could work through it in time but it might take conversation and practice!

The other thing I have considered is how I work out the Felice-Sara-August interactions in a fic universe where I do a saraugust Second Chance Romance. If I’m writing that I don’t want Sara to have to sacrifice either relationship.

I have an idea about that, where Felice gets invited to the palace as part of a Young Chefs of Sweden event and August has an opportunity to apologize to her and they navigate a conversation as adults who’ve both learned a lot, but maybe I’ll share that on another post.

Anyway, what stories do you have in mind for future Felice and Sara? How does their friendship grow and change over the years?

Discussion welcome.

[alicethemasked]

5 - misfortune

‘Left right stop and spin’ the voice in my head said, and yup walking to the left helped me avoid a branch that would’ve fallen on me. Step right right away and that’s a falling sign and stop, a surprisingly fast scooter runs past me and then finally Spin, I think it just makes me look weird, but I can feel a gust of wind so I must’ve dodged something. ‘The flare is important’ ok voice, whatever you say, I shake my head as I continue my walk, dodging what seems like a weird collage of events, but at this point I’m used to it.

I was born with this thing in my head, it helps me move faster sure, but it comes with a cost. ‘Stop’ a car speeds on a red light. It seems that luck really has it out for me, I feel like there was a cartoon about something similar, but I don’t really know, if there is I’m probably not watching it as I don’t want to see the shit I deal with from an outsider's perspective. ‘Duck’ why the hell are actual ducks flying this low, can the world not mock me when it’s trying to kill me. ‘Fortune is like that’ I can just hear the voice smiling at me, whatever it is I really hate it. ‘Love you too’ the voice sing-songs and I just sigh as people stare at this dance with fate I do, judging and confused. 

It’s not my fault that whatever the voice decided to stick into my head ‘wasn’t mine either’ shut up! ‘That’s never worked before and you know it’ sometimes I really wish you would though ‘but then you’d be- Left!’ is that a fucking piano? ‘-All alone and dead’ I guess that would suck. ‘I knew you’d see reason’ we’ve had this song and dance before, I wish I was crazy I really do, I mean a voice in my head is typical madman behavior right? ‘But I protect you don’t I?’ still mad man behavior ‘touché’ it giggles, gods I want an escape from all of this ‘you know that’s not possible’ unfortunately ‘rude.’

It might not surprise you, but I’m not exactly popular with people, apparently being in a zone of death makes people avoid you, who’d have guessed, but I accept the solitude, it’s better than final destination-ing the people around me. ‘Watching that movie was fun,’ it was a prank to make us feel bad ‘you think I care?’ Touché. I see my house, my one safe zone from the horrors of the world ‘stop’ well, after the horrors of the world try to kill me in the form of another speeding car, you’d think the world would get more creative but whatever works, works

Getting into my sanctuary I look around, the charms decorating the place all have smiling figures on them, I’m going to have to fix them, but it explains why my luck was extra bad today ‘...’ yea, you and me both voice, you and me both. I look over to the grimoire on my living room counter, cleansing the Smile it is.

[shzmluvrs]

Wait what if the reader an Billy are bffs (even tho they hav feelings for each other) but the reader starts dating a rly shty dude an Billy try’s to get them out of the relationship seeing how he’s treating them (can u do a fem reader ik u do fem readers a lot but I kinda selfish ig so pretty pls 🥺)

YES MORE HURT/COMFORT, OMG!!! *foams at the mouth👹💕*

Also, fun coincidence, I had another person with nearly the exact same request...

So it's cool that this now basically gets to be a two-in-one🤧🤞🏽.

AHH! Also, I wanna shout out @vivi-iiis-blog for always reposting my writing and Moon's collages bc it makes me feel all warm n stuff inside that y'all are really out here enjoying Moon and I's content, like 😻✨️🫶🏽!!!

~ Star✨️

All I Wanted Was You

Or, alternatively...

Stars and Hearts

Prompt: He couldn't be upset with you for being in love. Well, at least, what you thought was being in love. All he knew to do was to be there for you, no matter what. Even when you got hurt. But you'd better believe that he'd make sure something like that would never happen again. Not on his own accord.

Timeline: Post S!:FOTG

TW/Content: Angst⚡️Hurt/Comfort⚡️Cheating⚡️Arguing⚡️Reader being mentally drained⚡️Talk of manipulation/Manipulation tactics⚡️Cursing⚡️Alcohol/Drug use mentioned⚡️Slightly oblivious reader⚡️Billy being the best, as per usual⚡️Comic Relief Freddy, Big Sister Anthea energy on lock fr🤞🏽

Reader: Fem! She/Her/Hers Pronouns! (possibly) Bimbo-Coded ?? (but not full-on bimbo, if that makes sense)!

Requested By: Anon and @bansheecries

Back to Master List

"You did what?! "

       "I said 'yes'!" You exclaimed gleefully, ignoring how incredulous Billy's shout came out. "And we had a great time!"

"Oh, god, (Y/N)..."

It was his groan and eyeroll you couldn't bypass, watching as he shoved his hands into his pockets and continued to kick at the rock he had been rolling down the sidewalk the whole way home from school. You pouted a little, unsatisfied with such a lackluster reaction.

       "What? C'mon, he was really sweet and kind..." You praised, remembering how your latest romantic interest had treated you on your date. Your first date, no less, attempting to convince Billy of the legitness of it all until your voice dipped into playful sarcasm, nudging him with your elbow.

       "Not at all judgy and sarcastic like someone I know."

"Harhar..."

       "I think..." You sighed to yourself, unsure if you had even wanted to speak this thought aloud. But, you had already begun, no choice left to commit. Besides, Billy was your best friend. It was only natural that you told him everything.

       "I think he might actually be it, y'know? Like, I know that's-... That this is corny sounding, but I think he could be...'the one'."

       "What?!" Billy exclaimed once more, turning his wide-eyed gaze towards you for maybe a split second before closing his eyes and shaking his head in denial.

      "Absolutely not, no, that's crazy, you're crazy."

       "Crazy in looove~..." You hummed, suddenly reminding yourself of a certain Beyoncé track, not hesitating to spout out the lyrics as Billy tried his best to break your rose-tinted glasses and heart-shaped thoughts.

       "This is definitely just a fling or something..."

       "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, ya' love's got me lookin' so crazy right now~...!" You waved your hand in front of his face, Billy quick to push it away while he went on.

       "Plus...! Plus, you barely even know the guy. You met him two days ago. Two! And-and you're already going on dates with him?"

       "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, ya' touch got me lookin' so crazy right now~...!" You caressed his cheek with your knuckles dramatically, trailing them down until you were cupping his chin. And though he knew he was probably glowing red just from the careless act, it quickly fizzled out when he remembered you were still not seeing things the way he was. Seeing things clearly, if you asked him.

       "And just like that, you've suddenly decided to be his girlfriend? Don't you think you're moving too fast? I mean-"

       "-Got me hopin' you'll page me right now, your kiss got me hopin' you'll save me right now~...!" You danced around lightly, giving your best attempt at choreography while you sung, hardly taking notice of Billy's deadpan.

       "Dude, are you even listening...?"

       "Listening to you harsh the flow? Yeah, I am." You commented quickly before going on. "Lookin' so crazy, your loves got me lookin', lookin' so crazy in love~...!"

       "Hey- Okay, seriously. Stop."

       He took you by the shoulders, forcing eye contact and stopping your singing abruptly in hopes he'd make you understand where he was coming from.

       ". . ."

       "Look, I just..." He began, already searching your eyes for a tinge of regret in your choices.

       "I just think-..."

       And when he found none, anything left being a curious gaze up into his own green eyes with all of the hope in the world for his support, he let a sigh escape between his lips. He softened his stare and his hold on your shoulders.

       "I just... want you to be happy." A smile broke on your face at his words. "But also, be careful, okay? Please? Guys are... can be assholes, sometimes."

       "Yeah, no, I've got mega experience in that department." You quipped, nudging into him once more. "Being friends with you for three years has its learning perks."

       "Seriously." He reiterated his previous point with one word, hoping it would get through to your head as you nodded quickly and huffed.

       "Yes, Billy, I will be as careful as possible." And finally, he allowed a smile to tug at his own lips. You shrugged.

       "I mean, it's just my first serious boyfriend. How bad could it be?"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Billy didn't know whether you had jinxed yourself or if it was mere coincidence, but to say things were going bad would be the understatement of the century.

The boy, as long as he'd known you, had always admired your tastes. Your sense of style, any "weird" physical and vocal quirks you might've had, and often tried his best to partake in your favorite interests. So, it was certainly a surprise to him when you had been rejecting all of those things, which eventually morphed into simply ghosting him whenever he'd try and get you to indulge.

But, he also had to assume you were happy. Content enough to reject all of those things, satisfied enough not to want to leave the relationship you had gotten yourself into. And at first, he had went to Freddy and Anthea about it all, asking them about things that at first seemed a little personal, but then left them quick to realize it was in hopes to ease his worries for you.

Once their advice had been given, expressing that maybe it was for the best that you two take some time apart to explore your interests in other people and that it hadn't meant you were going to leave him in the dust like others had in the past, he did as such. Though it was hard to hear and accept at first, he was doing surprisingly well on his own once again, especially with the support of his family (plus Anthea) to back him up.

It was today, a random, fall school day, that you two had reconnected for the first time in the couple of weeks. And of course, at first, Billy was ecstatic to see you. Be in your presence, chat with you about whatever came to mind first, let the inside jokes that accumulated over time relay back and forth between the two of you...

Not that he'd be able to easily express any of that, past experiences making it quite the task for him to be as open as he wished. But he tried to be and enjoyed doing so, which was all that mattered. Besides you, of course, who mattered very deeply to him, no matter what.

Which was exactly why he was taken aback by the odd silence. You hadn't spoken a word after your initial, uncharacteristically timid greeting, almost as if you expected him to carry the entire conversation. He and Freddy had been doing so for the entire walk around the campus, lunch really the only time you three had ever shared together within school hours, and now, ever at all given your new... boyfriend.

And whenever he'd make attempts to prompt the conversation to continue with any rambles you might've wanted to add, all he would receive was a curt response or a seemingly entertained laugh or gesture. Even with Freddy rambling on in your place, both brothers having been eager to catch up with you, it was clear neither of them would be getting you to fully engage without prying.

Something they were trying to avoid doing but soon realized might be their only way to get you to open up.

"Are you okay?" Billy finally asked, leaving you to whip your head towards him in surprise.

"Yeah?" You answered, almost as if it were a question, because why wouldn't you be?

"No, I mean, like..." There was a pause, Billy trying to gather the proper way to convey his concern. But, you had already realized what he meant, your body language shifting from that of confusion to sureness. Even if it was forced.

"I'm fine." And though you chuckled through your teeth and allowed your eyes to linger towards the floor rather than his own, you upheld your front, no matter the rearranging of his wording.

"I'm just saying, like... I don't know, you just feel off, y'know? Just wanna be sure everything's good between us."

No matter the sincerity of his tone.

"Why wouldn't they be?" You questioned, attempting to keep things light and nonchalant. Hoping he wouldn't press any further.

"We barely talk, it feels like."

"We're literally talking right now, though."

"That's..." He sighed. "Not what I mean."

It was a sigh that unknowingly prompted vexation within you. Not for any particular reason. At least, not one you could place or justify. All the more incentive to push them away further while he continued.

"Plus, you're acting different, too."

"I'm really not..."

"You are, actually." Freddy agreed, quick to spare more examples of your recent change in persona. "You're way more quiet than you used to be, you don't dress how you used to... We all hardly hang out anymore, either."

"I...don't know what you're talking about, okay?" You huffed, subconsciously distancing yourself from the two boys as you walked. "I've just been with my boyfriend. What's so wrong about that?"

"Nothing, if he wasn't literally changing everything about you." Billy grumbled, no intention to truly sass-mouth you. But, it was too late to take it back upon realizing you had heard.

"Who says?" You challenged, your tone dipping into the irriation you were so valiantly holding back.

"What?"

"Who says it's what he wants? Maybe I like being this way. Have you ever thought about that?"

"That isn't true." Billy denied, shaking his head in dismay at your claims. This only frustrated you more, though you still couldn't place why. Never had you been so quick to defensive behavior when it came to your best friends, and especially Billy. They were too understanding to ever need to do so.

But his words had triggered you in a way that they shouldn't have, targeting something deep within that made you question the things you had already grown so sure about.

So instead, you projected further.

"And you're just gonna tell me that?" You scoffed as if you were mimicking amusement before continuing. "I'm perfectly fine and happy, and just because I'm not spending every waking second with you or because I wanna make some changes for myself for the better doesn't mean-"

"-I say it's not true because that's clearly just him talking." Billy cut in before you could conclude your harsh rant. "The (Y/N) I know wouldn't have ever changed herself after getting to know someone or do things she thinks will make others feel good about themselves. You deserve to do what you want and be whatever makes you happy. So yeah, sorry if I miss the old (Y/N) more than whoever this is now..."

Your lips formed a stubborn pout, word vomit coming up and out of your throat with immediate regret once they were said.

"And how do you know I didn't change myself for you? Are you saying you don't like me anymore just 'cause I've finally met someone who wants what's best for me, not for me to be someone they think I am?"

"Oh my god, this is annoying..." Billy murmured with the shake of his head and the roll of his eyes. And while sure, he was just addressing the situation, or maybe just the conversation, that's not at all how you heard it.

"...You think I'm annoying?"

"What?!" He exclaimed, almost laughing at such a wild suggestion, but quickly began to panic when he saw the tears well up on your waterline.

"No! No, no, I-..."

"Is this guy bothering you...?"

You almost jumped at the feeling of an arm snaking around your waist, but upon looking up to see the familiar face of your new love, your pout dropped into a frown.

"Not anymore." You clarified. "If I'm so annoying, Billy, we don't have to be friends anymore. Since that's obviously what you want."

"(Y/N), wait, that's not what I meant-... It's not what I want! I just-"

"Well that's too bad, because I know what I want." And the moment your eyes trailed away from the brunette to look back at your boyfriend, going practically lovesick just being next to him, Freddy was the one to grasp onto the fact that there was no getting through to you now. At least, not like this.

They watched as the lovely couple took their leave, your solemn demeanor not the same slap to the face as your boyfriend's comforting back rubs were before he shot a glare over his shoulder right towards Billy. For a moment, he was willing to ignore it, stepping forward to go after until he felt Freddy's hand tug back at his shoulder.

"Don't, dude." He warned with the shake of her head. "He isn't worth it, and... I think you should just let her cool off."

And though it left a bitter taste in his mouth to admit it...

"...You're...okay, you're right..."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

He ignored the two sets of brown eyes that stared at him, following his quick figure all the way to the kitchen, and then wincing at his stomps up the steps. From the way he had slammed the fridge door shut to his refusal to make eye contact with anyone (and probably for the best, his glare capable of icing anyone over) the second he walked through the door, Mary was swift to let her her mouth fall open in order to ask what was wrong.

Freddy spoke up before she could, shutting the front door as he entered.

"Don't worry about him, he's just in a mood."

Anthea's head perked up at this, moving her gaze away from Mary's strange, rectangular object that she had now been informed actually wasn't magic, but technology. A cool subject to be learning about, but it was now Billy's sudden frustration that piqued her interest. Or, more accurately, the cause.

"Why, what's the matter?"

Freddy couldn't help but snort to himself, waltzing over to quickly press a kiss to Anthea's temple before explaining.

"Doesn't like that his lovergirl is all cuddled up with some douchebag she met two weeks ago."

"Wait, you mean (Y/N)?" Mary smiled fondly at the mention of you while Anthea giggled at the odd yet teasing way he had said the word, "lovergirl." It ceased, though, when she posed a question of her own into the air.

"What's a...douchebag?"

"Mmm- Kind of like a dickwad." Freddy both unhelpfully and vulgarly informed. He was lucky his younger siblings and/or parents weren't around.

"Or like an asshole. A really mean yet dumb person. Kind of like how the Breyers are? Yknow?"

"Ohh!" Anthea gasped, gaining a sudden understanding once Freddy had reached the last bit of his explanation. "You mean an imbecile."

"Yup!" Freddy snapped and pointed with a smile. "An imbecile, exactly that. That's what she's dating."

"Wait-wait-wait, no way this is the same (Y/N) we're talking about right now." Mary half-laughed, half-scoffed. "You mean the same girl Billy was trailing around after like a lost puppy two or three summers ago? She was so sweet when they met, at least, when I met her. What happened?"

"Yea-up, that would be her." Freddy confirmed nonchalantly. "And, don't get me wrong, she still is. It didn't stop them from having a fight, though."

"What, about the boyfriend?" Mary pressed further, her nosyness for her younger brother's love life getting the best of her.

"No- Well...! Kinda? Less about him, more about them, together. Even though they're not together? I dunno, it's weird, hard to explain."

Anthea's gasp gained the both of their attention, the tan girl placing a hand to her heart in melancholy understanding.

"Ohh~! He pines for her from afar, but he cannot pursue what he's forbidden to attain. How tragic...!"

"...Uh...Yeah, basically that." Freddy shrugged.

"Well, we don't know the whole story, so who's to say she's officially unattainable? These things can be tricky, you know."

"Hmm..." Anthea nodded with a hum at Mary's words, agreeing with her statement as they pondered their next step. Freddy gave an amused 'Tch.' attention lost in his phone looking for his daily mishap that only a superhero like himself could fix.

"Yeah, good luck prying it from him."

And with that, the two girls spared each other a knowing look, one full of both mischief and wonder before shooting off of the living room couch and in the direction of Billy and Freddy's shared room. They gave soft knocks at first, Anthea the one to hesitate upon not just wanting to intrude. But when they didn't receive an answer, Mary was swift to disregard any second thoughts before bursting in.

"Oh my god, you're so emo..." She muttered after further inspection of the room, both girls greeted with the sight of Billy laid sprawled out on his back, head buried between the comfort of his pillows while music blasted through his earbuds. So loud, he hadn't even noticed their presence until he felt the edge of his mattress dip, angling his head to peer forward at the culprit.

He merely scoffed at the sight of Mary's teasing yet knowing smirk and then sent an eyeroll that led him back to his pillows at Anthea's shy wave.

"What now?" He practically huffed, expecting an order of chores from Mary or the random input on some super-work that needed to be completed, nevermind just homework.

"So, um..." Mary began gently, tucking in her lips as though she were pondering over her next set of words. "(Y/N)..."

But truth of the matter was, no matter how she'd approach it, Billy's cheeks would still flush red, and his eyes would gloss over. His hands would still jitter, and he'd still break out into a cold sweat. He'd still think about how pushy he was being and about how maybe he shouldn't have spoken so recklessly towards you.

"Oh my god... what did Freddy tell you..." He sighed, barely a question while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Only that you and (Y/N) are fated to be...!" Anthea sang with a gracious smile and placing a comforting hand on top of his own. He pulled away without a second thought, eager to remind the two of how untrue such a statement could be.

"Well, if you remember anything from what Freddy wasn't supposed to tell you, you'll know that if that were true, she wouldn't have a boyfriend right now."

"Speaking of," Mary interjected. "Freddy also mentioned how the guy she's with isn't a good fit for her. Are you sure? Or rather, is that true?"

"Why does it matter?" He sassed. "She's happy, I guess. She doesn't-. . . We don't even talk anymore, so that's it. Drop it."

"Wait, you 'guess'?" Mary indulged further. "Is the guy cool or not?"

"If he is as Freddy described, then she needs to be warned that-"

"Don't you think I've tried that...?!" Billy cut into Anthea's words, running a stressed hand over his face and through his hair. "She said she's fine and that it's what she wants. So I'm over it, it's whatever. I'm not gonna stop her from doing what she wants. She's smart, so I'm sure she'll figure out what's best for her..."

It was silent for a few moments, nothing but the sound of Billy's playlist cycling through, music bleeding out of the speakers of his earbuds until Mary ceased the knawing of her bottom lip. She had been wracking her brain for the best solution, or at the very least, some older sister wisdom she could impose on her younger brother.

"I don't blame you for wanting to give up. These kinds of things can be tricky, especially now since you've waited so long to come to terms with your feelings for her."

Though wasn't her intent, her outloud thoughts sent a wave of hopelessness crashing through him. He hadn't meant to wait. Hell, he didn't even want to recognize such feelings when they first started happening. Afraid that if he confronted them, he wouldn't even get the chance to express them to you before you were out of his life, just like the rest.

But it was obvious it didn't matter what he did, if he confronted them or not. You were basically already gone. Well, not gone...

Taken. He felt that was the more appropriate word, not that he'd tell you that for fear it would imply something else he didn't mean. Just like last time.

"You want the best for her, right?"

Once again, no initial response to her question. It urged her to insist further with a slight nudge against his shoulder.

"Don't you?"

"...Yes."

"Then, for now, you be the best most supportive friend you can be. You will be there for her when she needs you."

"And if everything we've heard about her current partner is correct, then trust us, she will." Anthea confirmed, attempting again to calmly take Billy's hand in hers. He didn't pull away this time, simply allowing her to deliver comforting squeezes until she stood to trail out of the room after Mary, leaving him back to his swirling thoughts and loud music.

He decreased the volume in order to hear his thoughts better. They left him faced to admit the fact that they were right. No matter how hard he wanted to push these foreign emotions deep down back inside, he couldn't. But he also knew it would be selfish of him to try and butt in after you had made your own feelings clear to him. Instead, he'd do as advised, doing all he could in any way. Be your best friend, just like always, and support and care for you no matter what.

Because just that was better than losing you altogether. He would make peace.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Friday afternoon was when he had finally gathered the strength and courage to do so. He had done as Freddy told him, giving you ample space and time on your own. Or, with your boyfriend, rather. And he had taken Mary and Anthea's words into deep consideration. It was now time to act, his eyes scanning over the large cafeteria in search of your (H/C) hair mixed amongst the rest of the student body.

Once he had found it and began to approach, he was swift to notice the change in color of the tips. A bold color that he never would've assumed you'd do, but was eager to ask about it the second he could. He thought it looked cool, a half-second distraction to your change in wardrobe as well. Surely more conservative, he noted, but at least both observations took away from the perturbed look on your face.

That was also something he was eager to question but wouldn't, for now, and simply settled on the simple and casual...

"...Hey."

Your head whipped towards him, silent at first with wide eyes until breaking out in a grin that he hadn't expected to come given your previous conversation. Almost as though you were glad it was him, a pleasant surprise.

"Hi...! I-... You're here, wow."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Billy almost chuckled at your fond gleefulness, happy to have whisked away some of that obvious stress.

"Well, I dunno." Your voice dipped back into a timid demeanor as you spoke. "I just figured... I made you upset, and that you didn't wanna be friends anymore."

"Of course I still want to be friends. I... wanna be there for you. If you need me, of course."

You perked up at this, a feeling of reassurement that hadn't recently been there returning to you. Letting your guard down.

"Really? Even after... after..."

"Yes."

You didn't have to finish, smiling to yourself instead before directing it towards him in thankful courtesy.

"So, how've you been?" You chirped, picking lightly at your fruit cup while awaiting to hear the next wild story he would relay from hearing Freddy tell it, or some troublemaking Darla had caused lately.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you that."

Both smiling, you poked your fork towards him in a teasing manner.

"I asked you first."

"But I wanna know more."

"Stubborn, as usual."

Sharing another laugh, you lied through your teeth, giving him the most basic and surface level knowledge of your recent hardships and achievements. Not on purpose. Just so that you wouldn't be immediately giving him something to worry about. Friends don't dump their problems onto the other right after making up, right?

Right.

You'd just hold off for now. Let him in to the fullest on a later date.

"What about you?" You finally inquired, the two of you now strolling through the semi-empty halls together. Truly catching up, which was nice for the time being.

"Bored, not gonna lie."

"Pfft-." Your snorted aloud at his answer, laughing more when he argued he was being serious with such an unserious tone.

"I'm just saying, like... Mary and Anne were on my case the second I got home last week. I'm just... we're just used to having you around, I guess."

"Yeah, that's my bad. I've just been so caught up lately with everything... School, and my family, and my boyfriend. Relationships are... so much more complicated than I thought."

A silence lingered between the two of you. Not an uncomfortable one, but it wasn't exactly the most peaceful, either. It was like your most inner thoughts and secrets just danced upon the tip of your tongue, while the very question that would pry them all out danced on his. Neither of you knowing, yet able to just feel it in the air. Expecting it.

"How is that going, by the way? I don't really see you guys together often, so I just figured you hang out outside of school?"

"Oh, I just had him last period, actually...!" You informed almost too swiftly, the lightest of defense in your tone.

"Oh, that's good...! Great."

Quiet. It wasn't intentional, not on anyone's end. But it was something that had somehow forced you to let him in anyway. Even if just the slightest.

"I guess so. He's been... quiet, recently. Like, doesn't really wanna talk."

"Oh? Why, what's going on?"

"He isn't like this all the time. But sometimes, things get to him, and he just takes it to heart, you know what I mean? Like, just yesterday I was texting him all last night and I was helping him through some things with his mental and like, how sometimes he feels like I'm being weird, but he's weird, too, and... bleaugh."

Towards the end, you had sensed you revealed a bit too much, able to feel Billy's green eyes mulling over you with hints of concern.

"All last night?" He confirmed with a slight emphasis on 'all.'

"Well-! Nothing I can't handle, just a couple of hours, really."

"Aren't you tired, though? I mean, it was a school night..."

"...A little. But it's not a big deal, I'm happy to help. Besides, like how you said you'd always be there for me... I'll be there for him."

"Right... I just-"

The scuffing of an additional pair of shoes against tile alerted the both of them, the conversation being cut short with a swiftness Billy hadn't seem coming or understood. Even more troubling, the way you had created a noticeable distance between the two of you, your foot awkwardly sliding to left the closer your boyfriend came.

"Hey, baby...!" He trailed, already eyeing up and down, side to side between you two the faster he got closer. He wouldn't be one to admit he had been listening in on your conversation long before either of the two of you realized he had entered the corridor, but the fact he had chosen now to, not only make his presence known...

"You just... telling people all our business now?"

...But to also add on such a sly little remark, masking it as an awkward joke, was something that made Billy narrow his eyes for mere seconds. He could sense the comfortable vibe decrease, listening to you stumble over your words in a much quieter tone than before.

"No! I-...No, we were just... catching up, basically. We were just talking and I was... I was just kinda asking-... Inviting-!... him to your...um... your party this weekend?"

"What, you mean tomorrow?" Billy clarified, having accidentally revealed both her initial lie and a new tidbit of information. The boyfriend let it slide, for now, swift to play it as cool as possible with Billy around by pulling you into his chest unexpectedly. Making a big show of fondly rubbing your shoulder up and down and spewing ample amounts of affection that would make anyone uncomfortable.

"Yeah... tomorrow." You softly answered, unable to continue eye contact with your best friend under the pressure of your boyfriend's. You couldn't exactly place or even begin to assume why, but it was a look that always made you squirm. At first, it seemed to disguise itself as lovesick nerves. But now it constantly came riddled with the extra thoughts of, 'Is my hair okay? Does my outfit look nice? I hope he likes the color I picked. The makeup isn't too much this time, right?' Etc, etc.

"I'm sure she's probably ran her mouth to you all day about it, but, you know (N/N)...!" He chuckled, gently shaking you upon mentioning you with a pet name. "Just talk-talk-talks."

"I guess..." Billy mumbled, unappreciative of the subtle implication while you internally took it to heart.

'...Do I talk too much?'

"But I totally get that it's not your scene, I mean... socializing, fun, hot drunk girls..."

'Am I not hot enough for him?'

You played with the ends of your newly dyed hair, debating on asking your boyfriend's favorite color as means for the next change.

"Actually, I happen to be free this weekend, so it's a good thing (Y/N) invited me now before she forgot."

"Really?" You asked, and though your tone hadn't meant to convey such hope, your eyes all but practically screamed it when you had finally gathered the courage to look back into his. A smile slowly made its start, but faltered upon hearing the same word leave your boyfriend's lips, tone all too different.

"Really...?"

One of skepticism, almost as if there was a betrayal taking place right in front of his own eyes. A tone that let you know you wouldn't be hearing the end of it later tonight.

"Yeah, I mean, we're basically best friends, so..." Billy didn't hesitate to make facts known and clear, all under the guise of a polite smile and a shrug.

"Where she goes, I go."

An awkward chuckle was shared.

"Well, lucky you..." Your boyfriend sighed with a compassion you knew was fake, parting with one last squeeze to your shoulder before heading towards the nearest exit of the hallway.

The pout on your lips never seems to leave after the interaction, resembling the same look of puzzlement you sported when Billy had first approached at the beginning of lunch. But now, it was the end, and here it was back again after Billy had done his best to absolve you of such worry. And, now that he was at least eighty percent sure of the direct cause, he'd go out of his way to make sure such feelings didn't increase on your boyfriend's behalf.

"Are you sure you actually wanna go?" You sighed. "I mean, he is right. I've never seen you at a party, ever."

"What, and you've been to how many...?"

You nodded. He made a fair point.

"I'm his girlfriend, though. I basically have to go so he can show me off and whatnot."

"Won't he have enough 'hot drunk girls' there already?"

You struggled to hide the grin at his sudden yet subtle compliment. Giving your boyfriend's harsh and clueless words a new meaning while nudging him with your shoulder as if it'd get rid of a feeling you hadn't felt in the last few weeks.

"Silly. I don't drink." You half-heartedly joked, a way of accepting his compliment before taking your leave as well.

"I'll text you the info, then, 'kay?"

"I'll be there."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Those words ran through your mind like a broken record. They had you admiring such sureness and swooning at the thought of someone... well... being there! It was this, coupled with the fact that, even after everything, Billy truly hadn't given up on you. He wasn't so hasty to let go of your friendship, and if it weren't for your-

No. No, don't think that way. It was your own doing that led to such an outburst. Your boyfriend was going through a tough time. Even now as the two of you chatted back and forth early into the Saturday evening. To place blame on him would be wrong. Almost cruel of you.

But even so, you were beginning to grow weary with the constant contact. And normally, it wasn't something you'd mind if the usual topic of conversation wasn't something so draining. Usually, the abundance of info on family matters. How his mother and father would treat him, or how his feelings were never "put first." He even had the gall to bring up yesterday, leaving you to reassure him that Billy wouldn't cause any issues.

Hogging your attention, acting like "a loner," whatever it was the boyfriend had implied...

'Ping!'

Speak of the devil, here to rid you of your swirling thoughts.

─────────────────────

Billy😼

You there?

I'm at home still

Gonna be there in a bit

Oh mkay

Omw

Btw Freddy and Anthea are coming cuz they don't wanna be "left out"🙄

Is that okay?

Yeah sure that's fine, great actually

I'll have someone to talk to

Alr bet

─────────────────────

For whatever reason, though the conversation was short and dry, it soothed your nerves, and suddenly, you weren't as high strung anymore about possible future events and conversations. It allowed you to finally put together a reasonable outfit and do your makeup, hair the last thing on the to-do list before gathering necessities into your purse/bag and heading out.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

You were starting to wish you had packed earbuds in that little purse/bag of yours, wanting nothing more than to tune out your boyfriend's advances. Albeit a rude thought, you couldn't help but allow this one to slide considering how he was acting just as such.

And yet, you still didn't have the heart to reject the obvious signs, or at the very least, hint at the fact that his breath reeked of alcohol, which was all you needed to know in terms of why he was suddenly being so touchy-feely. Something that used to give you butterflies, now leaving you with an odd disdain with/after every rub and pinch and grasp.

"Why're you so'stiff...?" He asked (slurred, more like), running his hands across your shoulders. Without thinking, you pushed yourself further onto the bed, shrugging him away and swiftly denying his claim.

"I'm not. I just... have good posture."

"Ha-ha, babe." He tossed his head from side to side. "I'm being for real. What's the issue? Are you not relaxed? I can- We can, like, maybe lock the door or something. So no one'll walk in, y'know?"

"Why would I want the door locked?" You almost scoffed but knew better than to let any attitude slip from your person as a smirk glossed his lips subtly.

"Unless you like to play it risky, that's cool, too~."

"I don't want to play anything, I just...thought we could have a nice time together." You spoke, your voice dipping a little from the stoic demeanor to one of vulnerability as the confession flew over his head.

"We could~." He responded simply to your suggestion, having not truly taken in your words, tone, or even just body language. It took you having to snap in the slightest for him to finally understand...

"And talk. To just talk, okay? I mean, there's literally nothing you want to talk about right now? What was all of that texting about earlier that we were doing? You don't wanna talk to me about that?"

...And, as usual, he managed to take it to heart. More often and...accurately than you'd like to admit, he had managed to become the victim.

"Mncht...oh." He finally let up, sitting himself up from dipping into the bed with the click of his tongue against his teeth and turning himself away from you.

"I mean, the whole reason I threw this party was to have fun and not worry about that, so..."

"Then why bring it up?" You huffed, frustration growing in the pit of your stomach. Not even at just the current conversation, but at every interaction you've had with your boyfriend beforehand. Matter of fact, as it occurred to you, you couldn't even recall the last memory/time you'd actually been excited or content with him present, causing even more bitterness to rise the more he spoke.

"Uh, I dunno, 'cause maybe I figured my girlfriend would understand and be there for me an' shit. Like, c'mon, you're my rock, start acting like it."

"You first..."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

Quiet followed, one that weighed you down like a heavy blanket. One that made you want to run out of the room the second you got the chance, because for whatever reason, you expected the sudden wave of guilt or maybe even some harsher words from the boy in question. Surpringly, neither came.

"Look, uh... I just don't wanna talk about it while I have you here, 'kay?"

Your brows furrowed.

That was...understanding of him. Gentle. Maybe you had misconstrued all of this. Maybe you truly were in the wrong. Maybe-

"I'm gonna get you a drink, yeah?"

"Well, actually, I don't really-"

"-Yeah, but you need one, so..." He interrupted, lifting from his spot on the bed and pressing a swift kiss to your temple. One part of you, as he slowly stalked out of the bedroom, hoped he'd forget and just take the drink for himself. But another part told you the last thing he needed was another, mainly because you didn't come here to babysit. He was right. It was a party, and you did have stress you wanted to celebrate away.

But you were finding it so difficult. After everything, literally everything, all you could do was just sit there and let your mind swirl with thought after thought after thought. Questioning everything, especially yourself, more than ever. Was it really supposed to be this way? Were these the responsibilities that came with being in a relationship? It seemed real complex, draining, even. It hadn't seemed as such from the outside, having observed the other relationships you witnessed your peers enter over time.

I mean, all you wanted was just that. Something simple. A significant other who'd be there for you and care for you and talk to you, not just about their issues, but with you about any and everything. You wanted the cute little kisses and the shy hugs and the awkward meeting of each other's parents. You wanted the cheap gifts and the creative dates, and even if it all sounded like straight-out-of-a-rom-com fantasy crap, you figured it wasn't too much to ask for...

'Ping!'

Your phone chimed once more, and you saw Billy's contact light up on the screen.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

"You are making it entirely too obvious that you're obsessed with her, dude."

Slowly, Billy turned his head so that Freddy could witness his dead stare, the boy giving an unphazed shrug in response and adding a swift, "Just sayin'."

"I'm literally just trying to make sure Mary is going to the right place, okay?"

"Ooh! Why don't you ask her about the grievances with her partner?" Anthea chirped on the other side of him, leaning over to peer into his and your private chat.

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the-"

"-Trust me, she does not want me bugging her about her love life, okay? I got this."

"Oh, really? Is that why she's with some other dude and not you?" Freddy chided, and before Billy could snap back, Mary aimed her review mirror so that she, too, could deliver Freddy a stern glare.

"Dude..." She warned simply, and he hushed. With a curt sigh as she turned down into a neighborhood street, she began a semi-short lecture and some added advice.

"Look, the only reason you two are going with Billy is because I need you two to...keep the peace, per se."

"You act like I'm gonna lose my shit, oh my god." Billy huffed, Anthea and Freddy sharing quiet giggles while Mary shrugged.

"Relax, it's just a precaution. Like I said before, these things can be tricky so it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides, last thing Rosa needs is you getting into your umpteenth fight."

"Besides," Freddy started up again. "If you do decide to do whatever it is you gotta do, I want proof to laugh at later."

He raised his phone in the air, giving it a knowing shake as they pulled onto a packed street that led directly towards the house they could only assume where the party was being held.

─────────────────────

Billy😼

We're here

Why is it so packed😭

Cuz it's a party, Bill

Did u expect it to be empty?

💀

No but gosh

Why are ppl this hyped to get wasted n high

U are so cynical

I'm realistic🥱

Yeah well IM meeting you outside, so dw about trying to find me ;)

─────────────────────

You couldn't help but bite your lip in feeble attempts to hide the smile threatening to practically crack your face open. Your heart pounded, and your hands were growing clammy and jittery. The bounce of your leg made the bed shake, and it made you wonder why you were so anxious just to see Billy. He was your best friend. It should never be this serious.

Was it even anxiousness? You were smiling. But, then again...

Maybe it was because you had sent that stupid little winky face. Was that too flirty? Did you even mean it to be flirty? You were his best friend, there shouldn't be a reason for him to even take it that way. But... if he didn't, wouldn't that make you a little upset? What would be so crazy about you flirting with him? Would he hate that? Or would he hate that because it's you and you're supposed to be just friends?

Oh shit. You're supposed to be meeting him outside.

You quickly gathered your things and exited the bedroom, making your way through the crowds and towards the stairs.

"Hey...!"

Billy, as much as he tried to fight it, allowed his entire stoic and introverted demeanor to melt into lighting up at the mere sound of your voice. And then, the half-second you gave him to admire you and your outfit and your hair before running into his arms for a much needed and, for some reason, unexpected hug.

Should he even be hugging you? You had a boyfriend. Why should that even matter? It's just a hug, and you were just friends. You know what? Doesn't matter.

"You're here, you made it!" You spoke loud over the music blasting from the stereos, Billy nodding surely as he spoke.

"Told you, I'd be here!"

"You did." You barely agreed, nodding to yourself and again, fighting off a bashful smile before sending a wave Freddy's way and sparing Anthea a hug and some swift girl-talk.

For a while, this is how it stayed. The four of you off to find a semi-quiet place to talk and indulging in your own playful banters and stimulating conversations. But, at some point, Anthea remembered her mission. She was to play matchmaker, and it occurred to her that her and Freddy's presence could potentially be stifling that. So...

"Oh my goodness, I love this song!" She squealed suddenly, jumping up from her spot and grabbing Freddy by the wrist.

"I- Wha-? This song? You love this song?" Freddy questioned in a flurry of shock and surprise.

"Yes, this one! My...mother...sung it to me as a traditional, uh... lullaby in my realm. Long, long time ago- let's go dance, my love!" She sputtered quickly, leaving all three of you to tilt your heads like confused puppies.

"...You had-...Y'all listened to Ke$ha in your realm?"

"Yes!! Bye!"

Anthea practically dragged Freddy away, the two boys sharing a shrug as you giggled to yourself at such silly antics.

"They're so...perfect for each other." You sighed, watching the two fondly.

"They're aggravating." Billy huffed, but you knew he didn't mean it. The upward curve of his lips told you otherwise.

"I'm almost jealous." You chuckled, looking downwards into your lap.

"What do you mean? I'm sure the guy your with treats you like a goddess. I mean, that's common sense, right?"

"I wish." You scoffed through another, almost bitter, chuckle. "I can't even remember the last time he..."

Your words trailed away, processing Billy's words as heat rose to your cheeks.

"You think I should be treated like a goddess?"

"Uh, yeah?" Billy spoke with a tone that made you second guess the things you had been putting up with your current boyfriend. "(N/N), didn't I just say common sense?"

"Yeah, but-... I dunno, that's a little crazy, I think."

"If only you knew." Billy threw mindless words into the air, looking back towards the way Freddy's eyes were basically hearts and stars towards Anthea as she danced with him amongst other kids. Mind you, Anthea, the goddess daughter of Atlas, whom Freddy worshipped as such.

"Hm?"

But you weren't supposed to know that.

"Hm? ... oH-! Nothing, nothing. I just...you know...I-"

"-Are you... trying to say that you would...treat me like a goddess?"

Billy stared down at you, green eyes meeting your expecting (E/C) ones until he finally pushed out a curt, "Don't I already?"

"No, but if you're willing to start, I don't mind." You challenged mischievously, standing up and pointing your finger downwards. "I wish to be taken away from the loud music and the drunk teenagers! Upstairs to a much quieter, safe zone! I command it of you."

A disbelieving smile spread across his face, leaving you to try your best and ignore those mesmerizing dimples of his.

"Please."

"I am not carrying up the steps, (Y/N). What if I drop you?"

"But, you said...!" You almost whined, and before you could do so further, he held up surrendering hands and shot you another smirk.

"You're right, I did. C'mon..."

"Yay!" You squealed giddly, adjusting your clothes before jumping onto his back, fully thrilled at the added height and the way you no longer had to use your own two feet.

"Don't make me regret having said anything." He ordered sternly, but you knew him well enough to know that he had trouble remaining so pessimistic around you.

"Never that." You chirped.

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

The "quieter, safe zone" consisted of the two of you finally getting to completely catch up in an empty, upstairs master bedroom. Thirty minutes deep in whatever late night conversation there was to be had by the two of you. Giggles and inside jokes were shared once again, and the playful, witty banter returned. Just like old times, although something in the air lingered differently. Neither of you could place it nor wanted to address it due to the fear of negative change.

But that was okay, because this was enough. It beat the uncomfortable feeling of your drunken boyfriend any day. A harsh thought yet again, but it couldn't be helped. Billy was just... better. Yeah, in general, but now that you've entertained the thought...

Was Billy better for you?

"What'cha thinkin' about?" Billy hummed, laying next to you with his phone in the air as he scrolled through his entertaining TikTok for you page. He paused the next video, waiting to hear you instead, until you finally flipped over on your side to give him your full face. Intern, he gave you his full attention, phone off and away, and eyes gazing into yours.

"...Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, whatever you want."

"..."

Okay, this was a lot harder than you thought. Maybe you hadn't thought this through. It was too late now, though.

"...Do you think-"

"My, my my music hits me so hard! Makes me say, "Oh my lord!" Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet...!"

Both of your brows knitted at the same time, searching each other's eyes for the wild answer as to why you could hear Freddy's voice over the one of MC Hammer's all the way from downstairs, along with a cheering crowd.

"No way...no he didn't..." Billy murmured, unable to allow himself to move another inch while you nearly shot up from the bed in your own pure disbelief.

"Oh my god...!!" You shrieked with a nervous grin, exiting the room while Billy finally willed himself off the bed just to follow it suite.

The music continued as you two raced down the steps and back into the main area of the house, and low and behold...

"Oh, ohh, oh-oh, oh! Oh, ohh, oh-oh, oh...!"

Freddy had managed to get a crowd going with him, and granted, this was probably the best experience of his life, he would surely wake up tomorrow remembering none of it.

"I swear he had one drink and then just...vanished!" Anthea expressed, both entertained and mildly concerned.

"What are you doing?!" You yelled to him in a panic, Freddy casually pointing out to you with a lazy grin and excited laughter.

"Vibing!!"

"I'm gonna get him a water..." Anthea sighed, making her way towards the direction of the kitchen as you began to try and settle the reckless crowd down. But mainly Freddy's tipsy ass.

"Do not break anything, I swear...! I don't own this house!"

"Relax, I won't!" He scoffed, turning away to face the crowd with his crutch just barely missing a vase by a couple of inches.

"Dude...-!" Billy sighed but found it useless at that point when Freddy was already so unaware of his surroundings.

He looked down at you, you having already been looking up to him for reassurance before another nervous laugh broke out in between the two of you.

"Cmon, let's find Anne, and we can bring them back upstairs."

And though you wished you and Billy had gotten more time together, just the two of you...

"Okay, sure."

...It was probably for the best.

"Hey, (Y/N), there you are, okay, let's go...!" Anthea rushed, having already left the kitchen at such a brisk pace, it caught you off guard when she spun you around by the shoulders and was pushing you back towards where Freddy had accumulated Instagram story worthy hype.

"Wha-? Wait-"

"I'm thinking we should just...grab Freddy and go home!" She chirped, almost uncharacteristically, as she guided you along. "I think we've been here for long enough."

"Well..." You began, slowly maneuvering out of her grasp. "I can't really just leave, y'know, I have to tell-"

"Oh, don't worry about that! He was in the kitchen, I already told him that Mary's here and that she's gonna take us. It's no issue, really...!"

Upon hearing this, Billy looked back over his shoulder towards the archway that led into the kitchen, brows knitting once again as a sinking feeling settled into his chest. Something was very off, and though he wanted to trust Anthea's word...

"Okay, well, at least let me say goodbye..." You mumbled, Anthea too busy hauling Freddy out of his beloved crowd to notice it was too late to grab your hand to stop you.

"Wait...!" She called, but you were already out of sight.

"(Y/N)..."

"Hi." You smiled at Billy as he stood in between you and the archway. A naivety about you that made what he had just seen even more anger and guilt inducing. Not that he should be the one feeling guilty, but...

"Hey, um...You know, Anne's right. I think we should go, y'know?"

"That's fine." You nodded. "But I wanna say goodbye."

"Oh, don't worry." Billy smiled at you calmly, rubbing at your shoulders and ever-so gently pushing you backward. "I already told him 'bye' for you, so..."

This was beginning to grow weird. Your stomach suddenly growing bloated even though you hadn't really eaten yet, a tightness forming in your chest. Why was everyone being so pushy all of a sudden? Why was it so okay for everyone to nudge you around like this? You've already been dealing with it from your boyfriend for so long, you couldn't handle your best friends doing it too.

"Stop it, I just want to say it myself, okay?" You informed sternly, pushing Billy's hand away.

"No." He stopped you, moving back in front of you as if he were blocking you. Or... was he blocking something from you? What was he hiding from you?

"No?" You questioned in disbelief. And you didn't wait for his response before shoving past him and into the kitchen.

"Wait-!"

"Oh shit...."

As cliche as it felt, time seemed to stand still, and the noise began to fade. You actually couldn't believe it was happening, just like in the movies and TV shows and books. And yet, here it was, happening to you the moment your eyes landed on your boyfriend kissing another girl.

Your boyfriend. Kissing another girl. And he was enjoying it. He was enjoying it, and then he saw you and pushed her away like nothing. The exact same way he had been treating you. Like nothing...

"What are you...?" You couldn't even finish because you already knew exactly what he was doing. He was cheating on you, and you were starting to cry.

"(Y/N), I think we should go, now..." Anthea murmured, having joined the scene with a for-the-most-part sobered up Freddy.

You ignored. Not purposefully, of course. But you just...

"Why would you...?"

You couldn't finish that sentence, either.

"I'm-I'm sorry! I didn't even see yo- She-! She kissed me! I didn't-...!" Excuses stumbled from his lips before he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, no, how could you?" You faked anger, not truly having it within you to be as mad as you wanted. As pissed as you should've been. It just... wasn't there. And it was evident through the freshly dropped tears onto your cheeks as you continued to fake it anyway because he had no right to act as though he was annoyed with the circumstances. You wouldn't let him have it this time.

"I thought that you were supposed to love me? And be there for me? Why the hell are you even-? Why did you even invite me if you weren't gonna even talk to me or be with me or even- even just act like my boyfriend? Even if you didn't mean it, you couldn't just fake it for one fucking night?"

"Oh, because you've been the best girlfriend ever..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When I was with you earlier tonight, (Y/N), I tried to be with you. You didn't want to do shit, I mean, c'mon! You don't even drink!"

"I literally tried-! I-...What does that have to do with anything?" You cried in stammers. "How is that a good reason for you to-... to-...!"

"Being with someone and getting with someone are not synonymous. She didn't owe you any of her just because she consented to being your partner." Anthea stated factly, words you couldn't formulate in the moment perfected for you by her on your behalf.

"Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand." He spoke, addressing Anthea with condescension and an eye roll that made her sneer. "Guys... we're different, okay? We just...we have needs, and at least she's trying. What we're you doing, (Y/N)? Hanging out upstairs with him?"

He pointed to Billy, and the boy in question had half of a mind to end the argument right there on his own, more violent, terms. But for now, he wouldn't. He knew better than to act out of turn, especially given your emotional state, as much as it hurt him to see things play out this way for you.

"How do I know you weren't cheating on me, huh? Even after everything I told you about what's going on with me? My family and my worries?"

"I would never do that!" You defended. "Billy is my friend, okay? And it's not my fault that you've never been able to accept the fact that maybe he should be more than that, because he treats me ten times better than you ever could!"

You had let the words...confession?...words slip out unintentionally, but you were on a roll. A force to be reckoned with as you moved closer to your newly made ex.

"I've been there for you this entire time, but what about what I needed?! What about my needs? They were always ignored, and you were always the one ignoring them! I mean, look at you, you're not even sorry! Just mad you got caught."

"I'm-!"

"-No!" You cut. "You know what you are? A self-centered, cheating, asshole!"

*s m a c k*

And before he could even register you had slapped him and that Freddy had laughed inappropriately loud at it, you were gone. He didn't even get to see you leave the kitchen, your figure already halfway up the steps and towards the master bedroom to gather your things. At least, that's what you told yourself, until the tears kept coming, and your chest wouldn't stop rising and falling. Your throat was on fire and-

*SLAM!*

*c l i c k*

. . .

"I should rearrange the insides of your body where you stand..." Anthea cursed with half of a mind to do just that. But alas...

She was swift to urge Billy and Freddy along, quickly rushing after your path until stopping at the sound of your broken sobs.

"Oh no..." She sighed to herself, her heart aching for you as Freddy moved forward. He twisted the knob and sighed.

"It's locked."

Billy and Anthea shared a look, Freddy's forehead leaning against the wood of the door and mustering it up within himself to speak as calmly as possible.

"(N/N)? Heyyy, y'know-...I know things got...rough for you out there. But-! But maybe this is a good thing, like, if you just-!"

"Go away...!"

A pause lingered in the air, Freddy able to hear the hurt in your voice. He knew that's not truly what you wanted, to isolate yourself. And even if it was, he just didn't have the heart to let it be so. He was one of your best friends, he couldn't stand to see you like this. Hell, even just to hear it. Looking over towards his brother, he could only imagine what it was doing to him on the inside. So, for both you and Billy's sake, he tried again...

"You know I can't do that. I don't wanna leave you here, (Y/N). Please just...talk to us. We wanna help you through this."

No response this time, though he could hear you muffiling your cries away in failed attempts to not be heard.

"I don't...think she wants to come out."

"Let me try." Anthea spoke. She moved forward, replacing Freddy's position in front of the door and giving the softest of knocks.

"(Y/N)? It's Anne... I...can't possibly begin to understand the way you must feel right now. You never deserved this, and we'd just like to help you, okay? Whatever you need, just tell us, I'll make it happen."

"Go. Away." You seethed.

"...But-"

"I need you guys to go away, okay? Just leave me alone, I just..."

You didn't want to say you wanted to go home. Even though you did. It seemed a little baby-ish on your part, and regardless of the meltdown you were having, the last thing you wanted was to further embarrass yourself by acting childish. Crying over your freshly dumped boyfriend and your new, heart aching, emotional wounds was enough for tonight already.

"Please, just go away." You begged through choked sobs.

Billy couldn't take it anymore.

"Just...okay, just move. I'll sit with her, Freddy, call Mary."

"But how-"

"-Just do it, please, okay?"

The two sighed, Anthea sending a nod of good luck before leaving Billy on his own to sit on the other side of the door with his back up against it, listening to you carefully. Not that you were doing much of anything but crying, but part of you couldn't even believe it.

You wondered to yourself why the tears and emotions were even lasting this long. Although, you supposed that regardless of how laughable the relationship was, it was still your first. You had still given it your all, invested your energy and love into it. Maybe that's why it hurt so badly. All of it taken for granted, thrown away disastrously at a random house party.

God, this house.

You wanted to get out of this house.

Not that you could...

You hadn't paid much attention to the commotion outside the door, but you had loosely figured that once it'd gone quiet, the trio had obeyed your requests, leaving you on your own. Which, in hindsight, that's not what you wanted. More than anything, you needed someone to be there for you. To just be there was even enough. You needed-

"...Billy?"

He had stood the moment he heard you begin to unlock the door, taking steps back to allow you space before you opened the door to his sheepish figure.

"Hey."

You could only stare for a moment, warm tears brimming your waterline all over again until you literally couldn't stop yourself from moving forward.

"(Y/N), are you o-"

He huffed at the impact of you colliding with his chest, but recovered just fast enough to hold you as you cried some more.

"You didn't leave me..." You whined in between shallow breaths of air, gripping onto the back of his shirt as though he would in mere seconds.

But, he wouldn't. He couldn't.

"Of course not, I'd never leave you." He reassured, encouraging you to bury yourself further into him by tightening his hold.

"I'm right here, okay? And Mary'll be here soon, we're gonna take you home, 'kay?" He murmured against your temple, only for you to look up at him with big, glossy eyes and a pouted lip.

"Home?"

"Anywhere but here, but yes, home."

You laughed. He had made you laugh, even when you truly thought you couldn't.

"I-"

You stopped yourself. You were not going to say that. You knew better than to try and say something you weren't even sure you meant. Hell, you had been doing it this whole time with your ex, and you hadn't even ever told him the I.L.Y words yet. You wouldn't do that to Billy. Instead, you began to apologize.

"I'm sorry." It was a murmur at first, barely audible words before you willed yourself to speak up and be brave yet again tonight. Have some confidence, even if it was a little fake.

"I'm sorry I said those things. Earlier, when I was yelling at...that prick. I hadn't meant for it to-...It just came out, and it came out weirdly, and I don't-... I don't wanna make this awkward between us, I didn't- I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You don't have to be sorry."

"Yes, I do." You argued, even as he shook his head 'no'.

"No, you don't, (Y/N). I just... want you to mean it."

You were a little thrown off by such wording, pulling away slightly as you wiped your eyes and cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt.

"Huh?"

"(Y/N)..." He sighed, looking away for a moment as if he were putting the words together in his mind. You waited patiently, having known that he was never one for thoroughly explaining his inner emotions. He had been there for you, so, now it was your turn.

"...I want you to mean all of that stuff you said because I just... I love being your best friend, it's... You're amazing. But I've kind of always thought us being... more than that would be even better. But I didn't wanna ruin a good thing, so I just...I just decided I'd be there for you for everything else, even if it meant you... not being with me and with someone else."

"Billy-"

"-And I know...! I know it doesn't really matter what I want at the end of the day, because again, I'm just here for you. But... when you got with that doucebag, I just...I didn't not want you with him. I just didn't want you the way you were with him. I never have. I don't want some version of you that's toned down and trying to be a certain way for anybody, including me. I mean, all I've ever wanted was you. I only want you, (Y/N)."

You didn't know what to say. What could you say? I mean, you could think. But all that would run through your mind was, 'How could I be so stupid and blind?'.

It was here that you knew that you would be completely sure... that you meant it when you told him-

"I love you."

And while yes, you blurted it out fast and awkwardly, you still knew that it was true.

Billy smiled because he did, too.

"I love you, too."

And there you were again, back in the safety and comfort of his arms, but this time, with his lips planted on yours in a kiss that actually felt like fireworks. The way it was supposed to feel, gentle, and full of love and care. Soft, yet eager, with no intention to take it further than you wanted it to go. Breaking the kiss in order to breathe properly, you could finally see the way Freddy had looked at Anthea all of this time while Billy gazed down at you.

With stars and hearts in his eyes.

I hope this was good!! I know it's a bit long, but I have no self control, no one's here to tell when to stop. So. I don't🥴.

Also, I apologize for my long hiatuses. I feel like it's a curse, for fanfic writers, to be going thru the most wicked shit when all we wanna do is write our silly little stuff😭.

But I promise, I'll try to keep more consistent because I love doing this!

~ Star✨️

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