#might put a lot of ramblings abt this on here if i keep thinking about it. too worried abt people being weird abt this if i talk

[crustuu]

I think it's funny that, if it turns out I do have BPD, the first fucking domino to me figuring this out was goddamn FNF Weekend 1 coming out. God this is so funny like:

me finding the erect remixes came out -> sudden fnf fixation -> slowly make mutuals & friends through this fixation -> make a personal BF interp -> [the multiverse au] -> "oh this song would work for my guy let me check the comme- this is about bpd ???"

[anemonelovesfiction]

Fated Mates 1

Ao’nung x Human AFAB! Reader

Warnings!⚠️: Mentions of Character death, sex- duhh, sex pollen just to speed the plot up, p in v, oral, use of Na’Vi words, Ao’nung Makto, please don’t ask I thought it was funny asf. I’m my own beta reader so pls excuse anything thats written wrong or doesnt make sense.

English words are stricken through whenever anyone says them

This is only part one, I’m currently unsure of how long this fanfic will be but it’ll deff be multiple chapters. As of right now I’m halfway through the second one, but please don’t rush me. My ideas flourish when I put myself in place of Y/n lol.

Translation station

Tawtute: Sky person (human)

Toruk Makto: Rider of last shadow (used to talk abt Jake)

Vrrtep: Demon

Tewng: Loincloth

Yawne: Beloved

Tìyawn: My love

Sa’nu: Mommy (but I used it thinking it meant “mama”)

Yawntutsyìp: Darling

Word count: 12.7 K … I got carried away

*~*~*~*~*

Next>>

“You might need to sit down for this.”

“Why?”

I’d always visited Neteyam since the night he’d passed. I’d often done so on my free time late at night when everyone else was asleep and wouldn’t reprimand me for going without a diving partner- I just didn’t want anyone asking invasive questions about my visits. He had a habit of being in the forest, the humid environment not really being one I cared for, but never said anything because I knew it brought him comfort.

“You remember the two tawtute who came to live with my family?” He asks me although I’m sure he knew the answer.

“Yes.” I stated curtly.

Toruk Makto had to plead his case for them to be taken in under his wing. Everyone hates the two tawtute being a part of the clan, yet somehow they managed to get my sister and Rotxo to like them. The boy seems to have a thing for the forest girl- Kiri- and for some reason I believe Rotxo might like the girls company too much. The thought of them staying here made me shiver.

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you about Y/n.” He stated and I’d just made a confused face. He smiles and shakes his head to himself.

“The girl, Y/n, thats her name. You should use it to address her from now on.”

“Why?” I asked again, wondering where this conversation was headed

“Well-“

He seemed too nervous for my liking and all I wanted to know was what he was hiding. He never hid much from me since I apologized to him for how I’d acted throughout the time they spent with us. I’d taken it upon myself to ask Lo’ak and Kiri for forgiveness for my actions in the past as well.

“Spit it out.” I stated firmly as I continued standing and crossed my arms across my chest as I waited for him to find the courage to tell me what he needed to.

“I have chosen her as your mate.”

I could only tilt my head as I look at his face and let out a small laugh.

“Neteyam-“

“I’m serious.”

“No you aren’t.” I stated firmly and could felt uneasy, my knee’s felt weak and I knew I had to sit down, but I wanted to remain standing to appear unbothered. But he could read me like a book.

“Eywa stated that she needed my help with- with your temper- and trust me it’s a lot.” He stops looking at me and turns around. “She said she needed someone who would tame that side of you and the only person I could think of was Y/n.”

“What?” I asked loudly, not registering I’d basically yelled at him.

“She’ll be a guarded at first, she’s sassy when she needs to be, but she’s a sweet heart under it all.”

“Neteyam-“ I try cutting him off as my mind starts going through this process quickly, I’m unable to think, and I suddenly feel dizzy, maybe I should sit down.

“Trust me when I say this is the best outcome for you and she needs someone like you in her life-“

“Neteyam!” I yell his name to get him to stop rambling and a look of disbelief washes over my features as I look at him. There was no way Eywa would have accepted this- my mother surely wouldn’t, she despised the tawtute, voiced her opinion loudly to my father, but he ignored her and let them stay.

“How do you even know all of this?” I asked again once He’d stopped talking and thats when his face changes to one I’ve never seen before, one that mimics a child begging for forgiveness before they explain what they did.

“Before I died…” He stops and finds the courage to look up at me again, his yellow eyes meeting mine, he sighs before beginning again.

“Before I died, we were courting. She is captivating in every way possible, a wonderful person-“

“What?” I asked in disbelief at this revelation as he’d never shared with any of us- at least to my knowledge- about his love life.

“A Na’Vi and a Tawtute?” I asked aloud again.

“My mother was against it, yours will be too-“

“No.” I cut him off again, I understood how rude I was being but there was no way I could allow myself to be mated to a tawtute.

“Tawtute cannot mate with us. They can’t form a bond, they can’t experience Eywa like we can, they can’t have our children, and I heard they die quickly.”

“It’ll be a tight fit but it works. They can’t bond the way we can but you could mark her. She’s a sensitive person already and I have seen her face- in awe- at every celebration. You can have children together if you’re fated mates and once you actually mate with her for the first time, Eywa said her age would become compatible to yours. I’m not sure how but-“

“No, Neteyam. No!” I yelled again. “This is crazy, I refuse to allow this to happen. I’m done here.”

Before he could explain any further I’d yanked my kuru from the spirit tree thus breaking my connection with Neteyam. The trip back home was a blur as all I could think of was everything he’d told me.

I decided to put a stop to the nightly visits to the Spirit tree and kept a distance from it in fear that he’d tell me this was something I had to do. I was already under my parents intense instructions as to how I need to live my life to take over once my father passes, I didn’t need another person telling me what I needed to do with my life.

I’d purposely avoided hanging out with the group knowing the tawtute would be there, I didn’t need to be reminded of everything Neteyam said, but that avoidance lasted too little for my liking, cutting myself off from them meant cutting my social circle completely, I had nobody to talk to and couldn’t bring myself to stay busy the entire day.

Two weeks seemed to be my limit.

_________

I’d always been nervous to join the group of friends that Lo’ak and Kiri had made. Spider had no problem fitting in, but he was always down for whatever, plus he had no shame in anything. But the one who I disliked having any interaction with, was the bully. Kiri didn’t hesitate to fill me in on everything he’d put them through- including his apology to them, but I still disliked him.

Upon walking up to the group I typically nervously hid behind Kiri or Spider, or even Tuk since she was taller than me, but I’d spaced out on the way over and didn’t have time to do so.

“Hey Y/n,” Rotxo saves the day by noticing me and sweetly getting my attention. I smile back at him and give a shy wave, I could feel the scrutiny of Ao’nungs judgmental stare and chose to ignore him.

“Hi,” I stated shyly at the teal man who’d greeted me first. Rotxo had a pretty cool tattoo covering his shoulder down his bicep, it was a tribute to his iknimaya, and his tulkun brother has a similar one- or so he stated.

“My favorite tawtute!” Tsireya smiles toward me and I return one just like it.

“Does this mean I’m your second favorite?” Spider teases and I pick up Kiri’s light giggle as she elbows my brother in the ribs. Apart from Jake, who appeared -and earned his title- as a Na’Vi, Spider and myself were the only tawtute Tsireya knew. Sure she’d seen Max and Norm, but she’d never hung out with them like she does with us, and she’d only seen them once.

I only turned to look at Spider and rolled my eyes, he was a skxawng, always getting too comfortable with speaking in Na’Vi and never thinking about what he says. Yet I followed behind him as the giggle rips through my own mouth as well the more I thought about his comment.

“That still makes you the least favorite human.” I responded as he playfully pushes my head forward, letting the English phrase slide past my tongue subconsciously.

“Whose excited for today?” Tsireya asks and I could feel my nerves return, I bit my bottom lip and looked at the sand worriedly. I looked back up to Tsireya who was giving me a look.

“Whats wrong?” She asks sweetly and I shuffle in the sand a bit.

“She keeps saying she has a bad feeling about today but we’ve told her nothing bad will happen.” Kiri explains and places her hands on my shoulders giving me a comforting squeeze.

“The weather is fine, the sun is out, the wind is not strong-“ Rotxo states as he looks back into the water we’d yet to go in.

“It’s just-“ I stop myself and cover my face with my hand before sliding that hand back in my hair. “The last time I had this feeling, Spider and I were caught by the avatar’s. And we can see how badly that ended.” I pushed out.

“Hey, that won’t happen again, y’know that, right?” Lo’ak is quick to answer as he steps by my side, squatting on his toes to reassure me, Spider also coming up on my other side and hugging me. Kiri remained behind me as she comforted me by holding me by my shoulders, gently rubbing them, I was surrounded by great people.

I nod weakly at his direction but couldn’t shake the feeling.

“Y’know what dad says, right?” Lo’ak asks again and I turn to look at him. I let out a short sigh from my nostrils, just knowing where this conversation is going.

“Sully’s stick together.” Lo’ak, Kiri, and Spider stated and I looked up toward Kiri then toward my other side at Spider.

“Really?” I’m asking them in general.

“Say it back, Y/n/n.” Spider says with a playful smile on his own lips and I roll my eyes as my own smile appears.

“Sully’s stick together.”

There was a total of four Ilu going, meaning everyone was paired up, or almost everyone was. Kiri and Spider were going together and so were Lo’ak and Tsireya- no surprise there. We’d already planned for me to go with Rotxo and everyone decided it was best to leave Ao’nung alone. But in order to get to the Spirit tree, we had to dive under the retaining wall, and it was quite a long breath hold. Up until this point the Ilu had been treading above water, Rotxo had to hold one hand on the harness and the other on my hip, Kiri did the same with Spider.

“H-how long?” I asked Rotxo with a nervous voice and I could tell he knew.

“Long, but we’ll get there as fast as we can, I promise.” He states gently and uses his thumb to rub my side as a means to calm me. “Just breath in using your belly, yeah?” He says again and I nod, doing just that, taking in a breath using my diaphragm. I hold on to the harness as well, knowing that once we dive our bodies will essentially float off of the Ilu.

“Here we go,” He states as he too takes in a quick breath and we dive.

The sea floor was never really something we came close to seeing, but the vivid colors of the coral that popped up every now and again were beautiful and caught my attention. I’d come to realize we were actually pretty close to the retaining wall as Rotxo lifted one of his hands to touch the bottom part of it, I refrained from doing the same since I didn’t want my skin to shred off of my finger, I didn’t know how fast we were going and decided not to risk it. The space between the retaining wall and the sea floor wasn’t huge, but it was just enough to let the migrating tulkin come for a visit, a cute story they all shared with me from when Neteyam was alive.

I caught a couple different fish swimming around us and heading up toward the little pools of water that were at the top of the retaining wall. The Natives made sure to feed the fish that came up and only occasionally take some as to not scare them all off. I had no idea the variety of shimmering colorful scales there were but looked at them in awe. I was tapped on the shoulder twice and knew we were about to resurface and as soon as we did all eyes were on me.

“That was so beautiful!” I basically yelled and giddily jump on the Ilu. “All of the pretty colors, and the different fish, and the coral!” I squeal at it and can hear a couple of them laughing, my face felt warm and I just knew a blush was covering my cheeks.

“We’re not that far away-“ Lo’ak breaks the silence and everyone continues on the path.

_________

I’d spent the majority of these past two weeks picking up extra work and making sure I could keep my mind off of what Neteyam had told me just to circle back so easily toward our group just because I couldn’t stand not having a social life.

I knew they’d planned an excursion of some sort, Tsireya had mentioned it to me in the hopes that I hung out with them again, and I wanted to- but I didn’t really want to because of the girl.

I knew I wasn’t in the mood to be carrying anyone with me on the Ilu, but seeing Rotxo with his hands all over her made me feel weird. Surprisingly she’d managed to hold her breath long enough to get past the retaining wall, but her child-like excitement at what she’d seen was something that made something in my chest tighten, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to understand it as I dived and headed off to where we were meant to be.

I’d been the first to arrive near the petals of the spirit tree and slid off my Ilu. I was tempted to connect myself to the tree but refrained as I knew the rest would be coming soon and I’m certain Tsireya would be upset that I’d done so without a diving partner. Just as I’d lifted myself up on the make-shift bridge I can see the rest of them coming in through the entrance, and the awe-struck face of the girl caught my attention once more.

She’s a sensitive person already and I have seen her face- in awe- at every celebration.

Neteyam’s voice rang through my head as I see the tears slide down her cheek.

“Awe, Y/n,” Tsireya coo’s and reaches over to wipe the girls face.

“She cries all the time,” Spider stated and gets hit upside the head by Kiri, I have to look away to stop myself from laughing. I figured I already had a terrible reputation with the girl and doubted they’d think I was laughing at her brother’s misfortune.

“She cries when she see’s beautiful things, skxawng.” Kiri rolls her eyes at the human in front of her.

“So,” Spider slides off the Ilu. “All the time?” He jokes and swims away from Kiri’s hand, she almost managed to slap him that time too.

“Do you want me to drop you off at the walkway?” Rotxo offers and affectionately places his hand on the humans head and I have to look away again. Some stupid part of me wanted to hiss at the action just then.

“I’ll swim.” Her tiny voice speaks up as she too slides off the Ilu. Splashing away before catching up toward the other human and smacking him on the head.

“Hey!” Spider yells as she manages to reach the walkway, pulling herself up, and twisting her body to sit as the water cascades back down.

“This is a sacred place, Spider, stop being petty in front of Eywa.” She scolds him as he grabs onto her leg and tries pulling her back in the water.

“I’ll take Eywa’s rath over you being right any day-“ He huffs as he yanks once more, knocking her off the bridge and back into the water.

I shake my head, they acted like literal children, and it didn’t help that they were already smaller than we were. Well the girl was smaller, the boy was pretty tall for a tawtute.

It didn’t take long for them to partner up, for obvious reasons Lo’ak and Tsireya were partnered up as well as Kiri and Rotxo. Kiri said she didn’t want to risk connecting to the spirit tree below water to prevent what happened last time and she’d offered me the opportunity to partner up with Rotxo instead but I declined.

The tawtute were huddled on the walkway too close for my liking as they spoke in their native tongue. I had no idea what they were saying and I didn’t want to learn their stupid language.

“Hey, fish lips-“ My ears flicker at the Na’Vi being spoken my way, I roll my eyes and ignore him.

“He has a name, Spider-“ I could hear the girl say in a hushed tone. I still ignored the two and refused to turn to look at them, focusing my stare down at the others connected to the spirit tree.

“Then yew azk hm,” I heard the retched language again.

“Uh-“ I heard the unsure voice of the girl and could hear foot steps getting closer. I turn with an unenthused look on my face but it turns to one of surprise when I realize it’s the girl.

“Sorry to bother you,” she stated so quick I almost didn’t understand what she had said. “But do you not have anyone you want to visit?” She asks so sweetly.

“Is that really your business?” I sneer at her and see her thin her lips immediately.

“N-no, not really. I just-“

“Then stop bothering me.” I answered before turning my head.

_________

“Thats the last time I try being nice to him.”

“That was the only time you’ve spoken to him.” Spider states as he moves his legs in the water, the rest of his body sitting on the magnetic rock.

“Because he’s rude. He’s a dick.” I sat back down and sigh heavily. I can feel the wind pick up and the hairs on my arm stand to attention, goosebumps covering my body.

“Hey, Spider-“ I stated in a serious tone and he looks up at me.

“What is it?” He asks with a raised brow and I can feel the tingle in my body.

“I felt it.” I stated seriously and his face falls at the realization. He looks up above my head and I turn to look behind me at the black clouds that were starting to cover the sky.

“Hey- hey, It’s going to be okay, we’ll make it back safe.” He reassures me but I shake my head as all I can do is think back to what happened the last time I got this feeling.

“Hey, fish lips, we need to call everyone back!” Spider yells for him and all I can do is get lost in thought about what could possibly happen. I’d never been in the sea during a storm. The waves start picking up by the tree but only a little.

“Everything is fine, we don’t need to-“ Ao’nung starts talking but pauses when he turns around. He jumps into the water immediately and leaves us on the surface.

“Spider we need to leave, now!” I yelled and could feel myself breathing heavily.

“Look at me, look-“ He grabs my face harshly but I couldn’t really feel it. “We got out of dad’s grasp we can get out of this too, yeah?”

All I could do was nod and at that point everyone had emerged from the waters, calling over the Ilu.

“Y/n, come here-“ Rotxo is quick to call me as his Ilu strides over. I’m shaking at this point and struggle to lower myself on the walkway and toward his Ilu.

“Hurry up!” Ao’nung yells and the waves start picking up, splashing over the walkway

“Bro, shut the fuck up.” Lo’ak speaks and it comes as a shock to everyone. He’s holding onto Tsireya but his look would definitely kill, he turns to me and his face is full of worry as he too makes his Ilu come closer.

“C’mon Y/n/n, lower yourself to sit on the walkway, we’ll help you.” He stated and I nod, I lower myself on the walkway to sit.

“Rotxo, grab her hips and sit her on the Ilu, she doesn’t weigh much.” He reassures the teal guy as he does exactly what Lo’ak says and Spider dives into the water, popping up by Kiri, who offers her hand as she helps him sit on the Ilu she was on.

“We’ll need to try to do the trip under water as much as possible, just tap on my hand when you need to breathe, okay?” Rotxo reassures me and I nod trying to take a deep breath but failing to do so as the tears start.

“You’re okay, Y/n, they won’t take you again. You have all of us here to protect you,” Rotxo states and gingerly pats my tummy, I take a few quick breaths before taking a huge breathe and we dive.

Its crazy how the top of the waters were roaring crazily, waves crashing around as the sea had her mood swings, but everything below the surface remained calm. Rotxo signs to ask me if I’m okay and I sign back that I could use another breath, then tap his arm twice with my own.

“I’m sorry-“ I stated as we reached the surface and I can feel the rain splashing on us harshly, the black clouds had caught up to us and the wind was sharp.

“It’s okay, are you ready?” He asks as he takes a breath of his own and we dive once more.

The group had all resurfaced a little further ahead of us but joined soon after. I knew my intuition was right, but I wanted to have a nice outing today and was hopeful that I was wrong, but after the bad feeling I get in my gut it usually goes away after being proven right but it was still there. I felt a warm presence beside me and in the blink of an eye I flung from the Ilu.

I could feel Rotxo reach out to grab me but he’d failed to as I was already pretty far away. I’d managed to let out a huff of air as I was unexpectedly swept away and held my breath since I couldn’t resurface, waiting for the dizzying current to stop and could feel my vision going black as my eyes felt heavier. Maybe now I would join Neteyam.

_________

For some reason, I had a voice in my head telling me to swim behind everyone else and make sure they got home safe before I did. It might have just been from my fathers training in becoming a great leader, so I shook it off.

We were technically halfway to the retaining wall and the sea water above us was rambunctious. I’m unsure what had caused this type of storm but it was happening for a reason, maybe because we brought them with us to a sacred place.

Before I could think any further I could see Rotxo reaching back to grasp the human that had surprisingly flung off his Ilu. I see how quickly her body was passing by and could only conclude she’d been swept away by a current.

Go home, I’ll get her, I’ll see you there when this is over.

I signed to Rotxo but didn’t wait for his answer as I’d already made my Ilu swim into the current to follow the human. It didn’t take long for me to reach her but she felt limp, I couldn’t resurface and check on her so I swam to the closest place I knew wouldn’t be affected.

Resurfacing in the cave where the water was much calmer helped tremendously. I’d settled the human on the make shift level ground in the middle. I tried remembering what Rotxo said Neteyam had done to Kiri when she swallowed sea water as well. I lean down slowly and turn her body toward the side and she spits up a lot of water. She opens her eyes and sits up quickly, backing away once she see’s me.

“What happened?” She asks immediately as I had placed my hands up to show her I meant no harm. She seemed to have touched a plant as she scooted backward and looks back at her hand as she does and rubs it against her leg.

“You were swept away from a current, I followed after. I couldn’t resurface with the storm so I brought you here to make sure you were fine.” I admit and felt myself confused as to why I was giving her so much information.

“Wheres everyone else?” She asks and coughs a bit.

“I told them to keep going home and we’d meet them there eventually, but we have to wait for the storm to pass.” I explained.

“Why did you save me?” She asks and confusion settles over her face.

“Because I felt like I needed to.” I admit and she lets out a small hum. She looks around in the cave and rests her back against one of the walls.

“Is this your secret place?” She asks and I look back at her raising a brow.

“I come here to think.” I admit and look back toward the natural waterfall that separates the entrance of the cave and where we sat. Water surrounded the make-shift island until where she sat with her back to the wall, the water was shallow near her though.

“It’s pretty, the lights make me feel calm.” She states and points to the bioluminescent walls as some of the plants are blooming around it. I nod absentmindedly as I stare at the plants and the realization hits me.

“Oh no,” I stated and stood up to inspect the flowers. “No, no, no,” I repeated as I rubbed the pollen between my fingers and could smell its sweet aroma.

“What? Whats wrong?” She asks and gets up, wiping her hand on her cheek, I turn and grab at her hand quickly, looking at the pollen on her hands and cheek.

“Ao’nung-“ She pleads.

“I didn’t know they were in bloom- I, I swear I didn’t do this on purpose.” I could feel myself freaking out for the first time in a while.

“You’re freaking out over flowers?” She laughs a little. “I thought this was something serious.”

“It is serious. The pollen reacts with us in a negative way and it-“ I stop myself and look at her. “I have no idea how it would affect you.”

“Is this a kind of joke to get me scared over a flower?” She asks and sits back down.

“Not to tell you what to do but could you hug me or something? You guys are usually very warm and humans are sensitive to temperatures, being wet and in a cave isn’t really good for me.”

“I’m not touching you,” I stated firmly.

“I could die if I’m not warm and no I’m not lying about that. It’s either hug me now or face Jake and Neytiri later.”

_________

I hadn’t woken up from my sleep completely because I’d kept my eyes closed but felt warmer than I usually did. I tried moving to allow myself more ventilation and it wasn’t until now that I felt an arm wrapped around my waist, my back was pressed against someone’s chest.

“Too warm-“ I stated sleeping and tried pushing against the hand on my waist to no avail.

“S’what you wanted.”

I opened my eyes immediately and try pushing with more force but every swipe of my body against his felt good.

“Ao’nung,” I whined but bit my lip at how I’d sounded.

“Y/n,” He retorts back sleepily and pulls me back against his chest.

“So you are capable of calling me something other than Tawtute and Vrrtep.” I try pushing myself away again and feel something else poking into me and he groans. Oh shit.

“Stop moving,” He groans but keeps a tight grip on me.

“Stop holding me against you.” I try getting away and feel his arm tighten around me, not allowing me to move.

“You said-“

“I know what I said, but its hot, I’m sweating. And your hands aren’t helping.”

“So it affects you too.” He states and I turn to look at him- or turn as much as I could.

“Are you going to tell me what that flower does?” I asked and he groans.

“You’ve felt the affects of it already, but I know what you’re thinking and you can’t fix it on your own. I’ve tried before and failed and waiting it out lasts three days. It’s unbearable but I won’t do anything you don’t want to.” I could feel his breath on my neck and bite back a whimper. His finger moves aimlessly around the edges of my tewng, near the bow I used to tie it.

“So we can agree we’re doing this to help each other out right?” I ask and he grunts as an answer, his fingers tugging one of the strings within the bow to untie it.

“I’ll stop when you say, even if it pains me, but you need to understand that you can’t do this by yourself.” He states and kisses my shoulder.

“Yes,”

And with that the string is untied and my tewng is pushed off of my body, my neck is being peppered with many kisses and his hand is rubbing up against my thigh. Grasping it and lifting it up and over one of his own, letting it dangle, and it wasn’t until now that I felt how wet I’d become.

“You smell amazing,” He comments and a blush covers my face. The hand that had been on my thigh is now on my belly, sliding down slowly.

“Shut up,” I gasp as his fangs tug on the skin of my neck just right.

It doesn’t take long for his hands to reach the place I needed them in and I gasp at how gentle he’d been when sliding his hands across my aching cunt.

“What do you like?” He asks while collecting some of my slick and rubbing it on my hardened clit.

“That, I like that-“ I whine as I find it hard to think in Na’Vi since all I could focus on was the pleasure he was providing me at the moment.

“You smell so damn good-“ He groans and takes his fingers away from my cunt, shoving them in his mouth, and I’m mortified, but he groans at the taste. “-and you taste divine,” His fingers move back to where they were.

“Oh fuck,” I whine at the feeling and throw my back.

“I have no idea what you’re saying but I know they’re naughty words, you shouldn’t speak like that, Y/n.”

“Ao’nung go faster, please.”

“You’ve been fingered, right?” He asks.

“Yes~”

He carefully places one inside and the stretch was welcomed, but strange, I hadn’t had anyone do this since just before being captured in the forest. But I couldn’t help myself sliding against it. He snakes his other hand around to hold my clothed breast in his hands.

“You’re close aren’t you, I can feel it.” He whispers and kisses my cheek. I could only throw my head back between his beck and shoulder while shamelessly riding his finger, my bottom lip stuck between my teeth.

“No,” he pulls on my chin with the hand that was on my breast. “I wanna hear you, little one.”

I couldn’t help but allow myself to moan loudly at his words and actions. It doesn’t help that my back was against his chest but I needed my mouth on his.

“Can you take another one?” He asks.

“Yes,” I answer mid moan in plain English and I’m happy he understood as he shoves a second finger in, the stretch wasn’t painful, it felt so good to have someone else doing this again.

“Too wrapped up in pleasure to think in Na’Vi?” He teases and I nod my head.

“Ao’nung, I’m coming-“

“It’s like I can understand you, even with your demon language, come on my fingers, little one.”

_________

Her orgasm gripped my fingers ferociously, her smooth velvety walls were greedily sucking my fingers in at the same time and her moans were making the experience sweeter. I couldn’t help but bite my own lip to prevent the whimper from coming out but failed at doing so as I watched her body react to my fingers alone.

I slid my fingers out of her dripping cunt and could see how well she’d covered them with her juices. I sit up bringing them up closer toward my mouth and taste her again, groaning in pleasure at her taste, she was addictive.

“Let me help you-“ she’s breathing heavily, chest rising up and down as she shakily turns to look at me.

“Why?” I asked her in confusion but wanting to kick myself in the face for turning her help down.

“Because you helped me, now it’s my turn to help you.” I hadn’t noticed before since it was dark in the cave but her pupils were blown wide, yet she was acting sweet.

“You’re acting kind,” I stated in a state of shock and she just nods.

“If we continue I will not be kind, the pollen makes us-“ she places her hand on my mouth to stop me from talking.

“Fuck the pollen, no wait, fuck me, but also fuck the pollen.”

Lo’ak had said that word has two meanings but I seemed to have understood her completely at that moment. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander down toward her mouth and back up at her face again.

“Has he put his in your mouth before?”

“Yes,” She answers plainly as her little fingers greedily move their way to untie my tewng. And the relief flooding through my body as soon as my cock sprang free.

“Woah-“ She comments and just stares, is she disgusted?

She carefully uses a finger to trace it from the head back to the base and wraps that hand around it, her entire hand couldn’t wrap around it completely and I could feel my pride grow.

“So Metkayina men are bigger in every aspect.” She glides her hand back up toward the head and a shudder leaves my body, she slides it back down.

“What about you?” She asks, I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes until I find hers on mine when I open them. “What do you like?” She repeats the question I’d asked her earlier as she glides her hand back up toward the head. I place my hand on her head after she asks me the question, ruffling her hair.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, little one.”

And with that she smiles, using her other hand to collect slick from herself and placing it on top of the one on my cock, I couldn’t help but thrust my hips up in her hands after she’d done that. She doesn’t hesitate to run her thumb over the head and I tried to hold it in but-

“Please-“ I beg and thrust myself into her hands again.

“Please what?” She asks in such a tiny voice I felt so out of place but I thrust in her hands again, whimpering at the sensation.

“Awe, come on, use your words.” She teases her thumb over the head again.

“I want-“ I thrust again and moan “-to come,” I huff and thrust myself faster.

“Not yet,” She seemed to be having fun with this as she moved her hands faster.

“Will you stop being mean to me if I let you come?” She asks and it catches me off guard.

“W-what?” I asked as my hips move on their own, just to feel her sweet hands at work, she had such a gentle touch.

“You heard me.”

“I’ll do anything you want if you let me come,” I moan and my breath hitches at her pace.

“Y/n, I’m close-“

“I know,” She leans down to fit the head in her mouth and the warm sensation was what threw me overboard as I came while moaning at the suckling she’d done, losing control of my hips and pushing in the slightest bit.

I’d detangled my hands from her hair, not remembering when it was I’d done that, and her mouth slides off my cock. She has drool and cum dribbling down her chin and I can’t help but use my thumb to clean her up a bit, only to shove it back inside her mouth and she clamps it shut around my finger, sucking it clean without my asking.

“You’re filthy,” I spoke in shock feeling my cock pulse at her actions. “I want to taste you,” I added and she stops sucking, looking back at me with wide eyes, letting go of my thumb she only stares up at me.

“Okay,” she sounds shy all of a sudden but all I can do is smile.

“You’re very beautiful,” I said in a serious tone and she only looks down. I grasp her jawline gently between my pointer finger and thumb, moving her face up to look at mine and lean down to kiss her. She kisses back and wraps her arms around my neck, making my cock twitch back to life.

“How do I take this contraption off?” I tug at the shirt she wore, it was an off the shoulder that came above her belly, but I had no idea how my sister made it or how she took it off. She turns around and moves her hair and I see it tied together.

_________

“How are you ready to go again?” I asked once I turned. I had meant to grab his face to kiss him but felt a little curious.

“Lay down for me,” He orders and I could feel myself clench around nothing but sit on my bum, looking up at him, I was nervous. Sure Neteyam and I had done things with our hands to each other, we’ve also done oral, but we never got to the full act of sex, so I was still a virgin even when Neteyam’s fingers popped my cherry. And there was something taboo about getting head from my friends bully.

“Are you okay?” He asks and I felt the nerves in my belly act up. His hand had come to my face and it felt warm.

“Just nervous.” I nod and turn my head to kiss his hand, his face softens and he leans down to kiss me again.

“I can kiss the nerves away, little one.”

And it surprises me that he does. The heat from the stupid pollen had returned as it made its way throughout my body but with each kiss he’d given me down my neck and onto my collar bones I could feel myself cooking down again. He doesn’t waste any time massaging my bare breast with his massive hands, making sure to pay attention to my nipples.

“You’re a tease-“ I gasp and he hums in agreement placing one of them in his mouth. Twisting his tongue around my nipple.

“Damn,” I mutter breathless.

He switches over toward the other nipple and gives it the same attention and I could feel the slick again, moaning at the sensation of his hand gliding down my side and onto my thighs. Lowering himself as he peppers kisses down my stomach and settles between my legs, making sure his arms are holding my thighs apart, hooking them around and holding me in place.

I swear I can hear him purring but he doesn’t really move, I peer over and notice he’s sniffing my cunt and I moan at the sight. He starts placing kisses on my inner thigh, trailing them up toward his prize and I’m a whimpering mess.

“I’m going to enjoy this more than you are,” He comments and licks teasingly around my lips, but with how sensitive I am down there he may as well have been licking my clit.

“St-stop teas-ing,” I manage to mutter but he doesn’t care since he does it a second time, ripping out a moan from me. I gasp as he licks a fat stripe on my cunt, I buck my hips as much as I can with how still he’s holding me and it makes me feel feral.

He takes his time licking around my already sensitive and puffy clit, kind of like french kissing my cunt, but I couldn’t help myself as I bucked my hips in his mouth, although I hadn’t succeeded much in moving my lower half. I could feel my orgasm approaching and needed to hold onto something- so my hands flew up to his hair. I can hear him laugh into my pussy as he continued eating.

“Fuck, please let me come.” I whine and feel him tapping on my belly with one hand. I struggle to look down and his face is buried in my pussy, but he signs instead.

Go ahead and come.

And with his permission I seize up under his tongue working his magic on me, he’d let go of my thigh as he signed and I humped the ever living fuck out of his face as I came. Once he comes up for air I can see how shiny his nose down to his chin look. I let out a tired giggle upon seeing his face and have come to realize his pupils are blown wide.

“I think I’m addicted to you,” He kisses my tummy on his way back up and plants a kiss on my forehead.

“How?” I asked out of curiosity.

“The way you smell,” He kisses me on the mouth and I could practically feel the emotion.

“The way you taste and the sounds you make,” Another kiss.

“How sweet you are,” Another.

I don’t hesitate to take my hand down toward his penis as he kisses me a third time and he hisses. I run my hand as low as I can and back up, squeezing the head to tease him a little as his hips jerk into my hand.

“I thought I was filthy?” I teased and purposely let go of him.

“You can be,” He leans down and kisses me again.

“Have you ever had- this, with anyone else before?” I asked him.

“Are you getting jealous?” He smirks and I roll my eyes.

“No, skxawng,”

“Yes, but this is also as far as I’ve gotten with them. But I want to go further with you, if you’ll let me.” He seems shocked at his own words but his face is serious. “Have you and-“

“This is as far as we’ve gotten too.” I admit. “But-“ I stop myself and catch his eye.

“I want you to be my first, pollen or not, I want to make you feel good, Ao’nung.” I stated seriously. And his hands find my face gently caressing my cheeks.

“I want you to feel good, but I need you to tell me if it hurts, I’m not sure how much of me you can take or if I’ll hurt you in the process.”

“I took two of your fingers pretty well, I’m sure I can handle you.” I stated and he kisses me again, so much passion and emotion running through me I felt dizzy again.

We found ourselves lying in missionary and he’d been biting his lip the entire time, working his way up to sticking his penis in.

“Look at me Yawne,” He asks and sounds scared as I look over. “You promise you’ll tell me?” He asks and his concern is adorable.

“Yes, I promise, but the burning feeling of the pollen is starting to come back pretty bad,” I whined slightly and he nods. He bites his lip in concentration and places the head against my waiting hole covered in slick. I gasp at the feeling of his head spreading me and it felt massive.

“Fuck-“ He states in pure english and I’m shocked at how he’d used the word correctly. His chest is rising a little faster than before but his eyes were closed.

There was no way this entire thing was going to fit into me and not hurt me, there was no fucking way! I tried to breathe through it to calm my heart but I should have known he would have sensed something was off.

“Talk to me little one, how does it feel?” He asks with such composure I feel surprised he managed to speak so calm.

“Uncomfortable but only a little,” I groan.

“Do you want to stop?” He asks and I keep my head laid down but move my eyes to look at him, shaking my head.

“I’m okay, keep going,” I urge him, he does go in more and he groans. I let out a long exhale as I try mentally preparing myself for this. I let out a cry as soon as I feel his fingers stroking my clit, unintentionally thrusting my own hips, taking more of him in.

“Figured I should help you out a bit,” He teases while running many circles over my already abused bud.

“How much of you is inside?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“About a third,” He states. “Are you okay?” He asks and I nod weakly.

“Just keep doing that,” I grasp onto the hand he has between my legs gingerly and he speeds it up.

“Ah~” I hiss and thrust against him, taking more of him in again. But just then he hit something that made me see fire works.

“That felt so good Tìyawn,” He moans and I could only figure I’d unintentionally clenched around him.

“Do that again,” I gasp as he slides out partially but slides back in. I throw my head back and arch my back slightly feeling the tip rub against me deliciously.

It eventually doesn’t take long for him to grasp my arms and hold them above my head as he thrusted in me without mercy. Both of us had been lost in the pleasure and our moans were echoing in the cave, I’d almost forgotten the Ilu had been on the other side of the waterfall.

“Oh my Eywa,” He states as soon as his hips collide with mine.

“Y/n- ugh- wow!” He struggles to stay consistent and I’m in a world of pleasure. I lift my head up to look at his face but this man is straight up biting his lips and his eyes are closed. It doesn’t take me long to look down and see the bulge in my belly as he moves and I contract around him.

“Agh-“ He hisses.

“Let me touch you, please-“ I couldn’t find it in myself to speak in Na’Vi so I didn’t.

But just as he happened to understand me earlier, he understood me again and releases my hands from his grasp. It was only a hypothesis but I had to test it out, as his body leaned over me I grasped the tips of his ears and rolled them between my thumb and pointer finger.

“Wanna come so bad, please let me come,” His hips stutter in deliciously against mine and he’s become a whimpering mess. I smile weakly at my victory and rub his ears faster and he’s moaning loudly, I had no idea he could be this vocal.

“Please little one, I need to come,” He begs again and his hands are on my hips, I could feel it too.

“Feel s’good, warm, tight, fuck!” He growls out the last word in English.

“Come, please come!” I whined and he leans down to bite the skin between my neck and shoulder at the exact moment I contract around his girthy cock. Hot spurts of his come coaxing my womb generously, most of it coming back out.

_________

“Wait-“ She places her hands on my arms as I dipped her into the water carefully, holding her body close to mine as I washed my come off of her.

“I’ll be quick, just need to clean you up,” I stated as my hands gently went between her legs to clean her up, her hiss is what stopped me in my tracks but I continued even slower.

“Is the storm over?” She asks and my ears flicker at the question, it hadn’t occurred to me to check the weather but didn’t hear the splatter of rain drops on the cave.

“Yes, we should head home soon before they send a search party.” I admitted and she nods. I slowly lift her out of the water and place her on the little island, pulling myself out of the water and sitting next to her, I’d already put my tewng back on and stood her up to place hers on as well. I held on to her hip to steady her as her legs kept shaking and managed to wrap hers on her body and tied it off.

“How do you put this back on?” I asked as I grasped the shirt she wore and she yanks it from my hands, placing it on herself, moving her hair out if the way so I could tie the back of it.

“We should probably go now, how far away are we?” She asks.

“Not too far, about halfway.” I stated and called the Ilu over, it emerges from the waterfall blocking this area from the entrance of the cave and I sit on it, holding a hand for her to take.

“I’ll go above water but you’ll need to hold your breath when we get to the wall.”

“Okay,” She’d responded and we spent the entire way back in silence. I wouldn’t call it comfortable but it wasn’t terrible, I figured she needed to rest her mind somewhat before talking, and I granted her that silence until we got back to the retaining wall.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Not really,” She responded. I’d placed my hand on her belly to feel her take her breath and she seemed to understand as she slowly inhaled deeply. Once she stopped I gave the Ilu the instruction to dive. I’d already seen the familiar faces of my parents and her family waiting for us to arrive as soon as we’d come back up.

“I was worried when the storm let up and I hadn’t seen you, what took you so long!” My mother’s voice was the first to speak once we got closer.

“I wanted to make sure she was okay to dive again.” I answered and out on the best face I could to convince her. As we got closer I placed my hand on Y/n’s hips and lifted her off the Ilu and straight into Toruk Makto’s hands, who lifted her up with ease.

“We were worried for you, kid.” He speaks to her as he kneels to check if she is injured.

“Whats this-“ He asks and reaches for her neck, she immediately hides my marking from him and covers it with her hair.

“Nothing.” She stated nonchalantly and he gives her a look before his eyes find mine. I look away immediately, I didn’t want him reading into my soul.

“Is the tawtute hurt?” My mother asks and takes a step closer to her.

“M’fine. I didn’t get hurt, your son took care of me, sorry for worrying you.” She stated so plainly and starts to walk away, I furrow my brows and hop off the Ilu, disconnecting myself from him and stepping onto the walkway myself.

“Wait a minute, Kid,” Jake speaks up after her and she stops but doesn’t turn around.

“Thank you for waiting for me, but I’m tired, I need to rest now.” She speaks and walks once more, Jake following after her.

“What did you do?” My mother hisses at me as I watch Y/n walking away.

“What? Nothing. I went after her when she was swept away from a current and made sure she was feeling better before we came back here. We waited the storm out in a cave nearby.” I omitted some of the truth but that was something she didn’t need to know about.

She only glares at me but takes my word for it as she turns and starts walking back herself, but not without stopping at the many people who had gathered around. It seemed like she was working on gathering a search party for us.

_________

“What happened?” Neytiri asks me so calmly I had not really expected this from her. Jake and I had just arrived at the entrance of the marui where she stood. I had no idea what to say but also didn’t want to have this conversation.

“All that matters is that she’s fine and needs her rest. Right kid?” Jake cuts in and I’m thankful he does.

“Y/n!” Tuk shouts happily from behind Neytiri and runs up to hug me.

“Hi TukTuk,” I smile at her and hug her back.

“Holy shit, she lives!” Spider comes out after hearing Tuk yell, I’m sure, but comes up to hug me either way.

“Don’t cuss in front of the child Skxawng!” I smack the back of his head and he laughs.

“Holy shit! Y/n!” Lo’ak is the next out of the tent followed by Kiri who all join in on the hug. I’m appalled at him cussing too and attempt to smack his head but hit his neck instead.

“Dad, Y/n just tried assassinating me,” Lo’ak whines.

“Good, somebody has to,” Jake jokes and Lo’ak frowns.

“Mom?” He asks and she just laughs at our antics but it wasn’t always like that with her.

When Neteyam had told her about how he was courting me for the longest time behind her back she went ballistic. She’d come up to hells gate- unannounced- asking for me specifically. I knew it couldn’t have gone well and she’d called me every name under the sun.

She had wondered what kind of corruption I’d set upon her son and wanted me to stop seeing him immediately. She’d told me that nobody would want someone they couldn’t bond with, that I was the biggest mistake he’d ever made, and he’d come to realize it soon. I’d been a mess of tears afterward and wondered why I’d allowed myself to fall for him.

He visited me after I hadn’t shown up to dinner and I begged him to choose someone else. He assured me that not even his mother would stop him from loving me, and that was the first night we ever did anything sexual. But he was gentle and sweet, and his words of affirmation made me feel so fuckin happy. It was after that night that Neteyam had stood up to his mother and told her to never talk to me the way she had again. It took a while before she wasn’t glaring at my presence but she grew to love me.

“Your mom likes me more,” I joke as soon as the hug was broken. He only places his hand gently on my head, scrunching his nose at the joke, my face fell and my eyes filled with tears at the gesture. Neteyam did that often, and I hadn’t planned to, but I started bawling.

“Oh, Kid,” Jake stated sadly and pulls me in for another hug.

“Lets go sleep, Y/n/n.” Tuk tugs on my hand while keeping herself close to comfort me.

“Come on, we can sleep like how we used to, right mom?” Lo’ak asks, his hand on my shoulder and I feel myself nodding against Jake.

_________

I’d found it weird that Kiri, Lo’ak, and spider had shown up without Y/n. But I didn’t want to comment on it since according to them we don’t get along, much less ask everyone where the other person is so I silently prayed that someone would ask where she was.

“Where is Y/n?” Rotxo was the first to ask and I guess I should have asked Eywa to let Tsireya notice instead but it was too late for that. Rotxo had no business wondering where she was.

“She wasn’t feeling well and had to stay in the marui resting.” Spider stated his explanation and I was wondering why she wasn’t feeling well. She did act a little weird last night after we’d gotten home and none of the family showed up for dinner. Had I done something wrong?

I’d been too worried on Y/n to really focus on my tasks today. I wasn’t up to par with my teasing of the darker toned family and found myself wondering how I could fix whatever problem the tawtute had. I’d been too unfocused that my dad took notice and told me to visit my mother to check up on me.

“What is wrong?” She asks as soon as her face lands on mine and I gulp, was it that evident on my face?

“Nothing,” I answered too quickly.

“I could hear your father asking where your focus has gone. And can only imagine you are sick, which you do not appear to be, or there is someone consuming your thoughts. So, who is she?” She asked so calmly as she finishes mixing some kind of drink together, refilling one of her bottles, but looking back at me as she finishes.

“Sa’nu,” I try stopping her but knew I was blushing. It was very rare for us to be affectionate in public, but we were always digging into each others personal lives every day. We often teased Tsireya about Lo’ak and their courtship. Tsireya and I often made fun of our parents, sometimes being grossed out by their kisses, but it felt different now that I was older.

“You cannot hide anything from me ma’itan,” She smiles at me and motions for me to come closer.

“You need to make clear with this girl what it is you want. If you want to court her do so, we do not need you filling your mind with doubt or worry. If she rejects you she wasn’t meant to be yours and was a loss cause anyway. You are perfect in my eyes and you will be perfect in hers.”

“Thank you,” I said at her words. She was always willing to comfort me at any given time and she was a wonderful mother. She kisses my forehead and caresses my face, moving the strands of hair off to the side, smiling widely at me.

“Introduce us to her when you are ready, until then, I will not pry. But pretend to focus for your fathers sake, hmm?”

“Okay,” I answer with a chuckle.

“Am I to expect you for dinner, or?” She leaves the question open and I blush at her words looking away from her gaze. “I will not.” She nods her head and goes back to her liquids.

Dinner could not have come soon enough as everyone gathered around to eat together. I’d been patiently waiting for the Sully’s to show up, I’d sat with my family to keep up appearances but was too nervous to eat, I could see the small human sitting with her family looking rather upset, her eyes had been puffy like she’d been crying, and my heart sinks at the sight of her.

It doesn’t take long for someone to start the festivities with some music and dancing. Others gathered around as some told stories and I’d chosen the perfect opportunity to hide away. Waiting for the moment when Y/n separated herself from her family to go back to their marui.

As she stands up and waves at little Tuk, who’d finally left her side to go with Rotxo’s younger sisters, I take the opportunity to follow closely behind her as soon as she’s far enough from the crowd. I grasp her arm gently and she jumps as she turns.

“Have you been avoiding me?” I ask with a smirk.

“Yes.” She stated before turning around to walk away.

“Hey, whats wrong,” I follow beside her as she continues walking.

“Aren’t you supposed to be off somewhere bothering someone else?” She asks and crosses her arms while stomping closer toward the marui’s.

“Please stop.” I asked her and she does.

“I do not understand. Have I upset you?” I ask and make my way around to face her but she’s looking at the floor. I could feel my face softening at her. “Please let me fix my mistake-“

“No, you have not upset me.” She cuts me off and her words should make me happy but her refusal to look at me is not comforting.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” I asked in a serious tone. She nervously looks up at me and looks away again, sighing.

“Can we talk somewhere nobody will hear us?” She asks and I nod. Heading off toward the wooded area we had on the island. We often took fruits from here and found special things my mother uses for healing. I could hear the sounds of her feet following behind me and didn’t need to turn around to make sure she was there- she walks pretty loudly.

We manage to reach a clearing closer to the center of it all, the grass and flowers growing wildly, but not too tall, it was enough to tickle my feet but I’m sure being in the forest climate meant she’d been around grass her entire life. Just as I reach the clearing I turn and sit so she can face me, but pat the grass beside myself so she could sit by me. I felt like I needed her close, I missed her touch, her smell, her, I just really missed her. But Eywa must have been on my side because she sat where I’d instructed and it brought a small smile to my face.

“Why are you upset, little one?” I asked with genuine curiosity.

“I might say a lot of words in english, and I apologize because I don’t know the Na’Vi equivalent or it just doesn’t have a translation. But please let me talk and ask questions when I’m done.” She states and I nod giving her my undivided attention, ears flickering toward her.

“I feel guilty for what happened at the cave. Not because I got caught in a current but because of the sex, I’d never mated with Neteyam, but sex is the next best thing and I didn’t even experience that fully with him. I want to say I was under the influence of the pollen, but a part of me really wanted to please you-“ She stops as she looks directly at me and looks away rather quickly.

“I feel like I’m taking things too fast and betraying Neteyam. Lo’ak did something yesterday, something ‘Teyam always did, he put his hand on my head and wrinkled his nose, and I absolutely lost it and started crying. I’ve never felt so guilty for what I did with you, but I also enjoyed it, I feel torn, and dirty.” She hugs her knee’s close to her chest.

“I also figured once we got back here, you’d just go back to being mean and ignoring me, I didn’t know what else to do except avoid you today.”

“I’m done now,” She stated sadly and I’m bringing her onto my lap immediately, hugging her.

“I want to correct you. It is not what you did, it is what we did, I was a part of it too and I need you to know I enjoyed every second of the time we shared. I also want to stupidly point out that I did tell you I’d do anything you wanted if you made me come, and I came.” I admitted and could feel her pull away with a blush covering her face. I use my fingers to hold her chin to look directly at me, suddenly feeling bold.

“I selfishly want it to happen again, and again, and again. I can understand your guilt but moving on is a part of the healing. Trust me when I say we all miss him, you will miss him forever, I do not blame you.” I stated and lean down to capture her lips with mine, I could feel my fangs poking her a bit.

“Can I make you feel good again, little one?” I ask as I connect our foreheads together, her cute tawtute nose poking mine.

“I feel guilty for wanting to say yes,” She stated, her eyes closed tightly.

“Stop feeling guilty and allow yourself to be happy, Yawne.” I mumble.

“Yes, yes I want you to make me feel good,” She whispers with her eyes still closed and I smile. Leaning down to kiss her again, carefully caressing her hips with one hand and her cheek with the other, sure it was an awkward angle but I didn’t mind.

In the midst of our make out I swipe my tongue on her bottom lip and she accepts by opening her mouth. Her tongue was soft against mine and allowed me dominance. She moans into the kiss grinding herself on me and I bite back a groan.

I remembered the way her shirt comes off and reach around to untie it as I kiss her jawline, managing to slide the loops away from each other as the shirt loosens around her, I kiss down her neck and let go of the string, bringing my hands back over toward her arms where the shirt was, tugging it off of her without breaking my concentration. I take both breast into my hand and play with her nipples as I kiss her collarbones.

“Your hands feel so good,” She allows herself to moan and the sound goes straight to my cock.

“It makes me happy that I can please you with only my hands,” I speak in a much lower tone as I hungrily take in her body.

“I want you to lay down, little one, you can do that for me, can’t you?” I asked and she nods and does just that. My hand slides down to untie her tewng, throwing it off to the side to join her shirt, letting my other hand trail down her thigh, grasping it gently behind the knee, squeezing myself between her.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I’ll enjoy this way more than you will,” I kiss down her stomach, making my way down her thigh.

“Ao’nung~” She moans and I hum at her, looking up at her breathing heavily, a primal surge going through me.

I gently kiss her inner thigh from where her knee is, but end up kissing and sucking my way up her thigh, leaving marks on her as she writhes beneath me.

“Please,” She begs and I’m in awe of how raw her voice sounded.

“Please what?” I ask as I huff my breath into her cunt, knowing it drover her crazy.

���Fingers, please,” She whines and I hum.

“I was going to use my mouth,” I started and she cries out.

“Use both!”

“So demanding, Tìyawn, but we can work on your manners later.” I delve one finger inside her and feel how warm she is just as she moans for having it placed inside her.

“I love your sounds, Tìyawn,” I stated sweetly and she moans, I could watch her like this for the rest of my life and be satisfied.

“I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t taste you now, little one, forgive me if I lose my composure, yeah?” She lets out a guttural sound similar to a growl and it turns me on more. I dip my head to finally taste her, letting my tongue run all over her engorged bud and finally swallowing the first of her sweet slick.

“Don’t stop please, don’t stop-“ She mutters as her hands hold onto my hair, I let a chuckle bubble out as I continue eating her sweetness. I didn’t plan on stopping any time soon and I think she knew. I decided now would be a perfect time to stick a second finger in and she wails loudly. Had it not been for how loud everyone else was being I might have told her to hold back, but her sounds were just as addictive as her taste, and the sight before me.

“S’good, s’good, fuck, fuck-“ Her hips were snapping at their own pace as I continued.

“Holy fuckin’ shit-“ She seizes uncontrollably and my face gets covered in wet liquid, I stop and stick my face back up to see her with a confused expression on my face.

“I’m so sorry-“ She backs off of my fingers and has a hand over her face. I slide my fingers into my mouth and close my eyes as I savor the taste.

“I don’t know what that was but I want to see you do that again,” I leaned back down before she stops me.

“I want to return the favor-“ She starts.

“I said I wanted to make you feel good, not the other way around, Little one.” I kiss her as she sits up on her elbows.

“Then make me feel good, please,” She starts sitting up but I place my hand on her chest, feeling her heart almost bursting out of her chest.

“Please,” She asks again.

“You don’t ever have to beg for that Tìyawn, never.” I backed off as I untied my tewng and see her face relax.

“Look at me, pretty girl, I want to see your face.” I state as I get back down between her legs, lining myself up, pushing slightly.

She moans at the contact while biting her lip and her eyebrows bowed. I lean down to kiss her as I push in slightly and she groans.

“Does it hurt?” I asked as I stand still while inside her and she nods a little.

“Let me help you-“

“No,” She stops my hand. “It feels so good at the same time, please move,”

“Little one,” I warn but she manages to slide herself onto me, moaning as she does so while knitting her brow together, tears forming in her eyes.

“Hey,” I start to worry before she cuts me off again.

“Oh fuck s’good-“ Her eyes shut as tears stream down her face, her little hips thrusting and her sweet gummy walls clenching me tighter. “Please pleas please move, Ao, please-“

“Whatever you wish, yawntutsyìp,” I start moving my hips slow to ease her pretty cunt.

“Lay down, please, lay down!” She rushes her words and I barely understand but I stop all movement to look at her.

“What?”

“Lay down.” She states firmly and I try pulling out but she stops me. “No, lay down inside me,”

“What are you planning?” I asked her.

“Ao’nung Makto, now move.” I couldn’t help but laugh but get myself into position, she unexpectedly slides down all the way once she’s on top and she places her hands on my belly to stabilize herself while moaning.

“Oh fuck-“ She moans.

“Yes-“ I hiss and hold on to her hips, the bulge in her belly is prominent and I bite back a moan.

She surprises me by planting her feet on my hips and sliding up from my cock, and slamming herself back down and moaning incredibly loud.

“If you keep that up I won’t last long,” I admit to her feeling her warmth engulf me so well. Moaning as she slams herself back down on me, I grip her hips harsher and she moans as well.

“I’m close, Ao’nung, fuck,” She whines and slams herself back down again. The tears sliding down her face again. I allow myself to meet her thrusts and her tears stream freely and I feel something soft against my head.

“Fuck!” She yells and she comes the same way she’d done earlier. But watching, hearing, and smelling her had made me come inside her as I grasped her hips harshly. She falls straight onto my chest while I was still inside and I slide her upward so I can slip out of her.

“What was that?” I ask her calmly after I’d caught my breath.

“It’s called squirting, it happens when someone is being pleasured very well.” She speaks into my chest out of embarrassment.

“Ao’nung makto?” I ask and laugh after the words leave my lips.

“I can’t think well in Na’Vi when I’m distracted.” She admits and I gently pet her hair.

“Do we have to keep hiding this from the others?” She asks and I knew what she meant. “I did it with Neteyam for a while, I can hide things well-“

“No, little one, theres no need to hide it.”

“So we can tell your mom?”

“Okay, maybe hide it from some people,” I agreed and she laughs a little.

__________

“I told you I could walk on my own,” I laughed as he holds me like a child, I assume my height plays along with that, I held our clothes on my hands and they covered me from the cold winds of the night.

“But I like carrying you, my prize, my little tawtute,” He smiles happily as we walk closer toward the shores of the sea, I toss our clothes near the dry sand as he steps into the sea.

“Is the water cold?” I asked as he steps in further.

“A little, but if it gets to be too much I could always hug you again,” He offers and the water touches my toes, causing me to yelp, pulling my feet back up and he chuckles.

“No wait, maybe I want to smell like you-“ I started before he steps over once more and my body is submerged in the cool water. I pop up from the water and start shivering.

“Sorry-“ He laughs as he watches me struggle to wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to warm up. “-theres a slope right here, I didn’t do that on purpose Tiyawn.”

“Come here,” I said and spread my arms out for him to fit around. As he swims over I push his head down under water and laugh as he comes back up.

He tugs me closer to him and kisses my face all over. Holding me by my waist.

“We should get back to our marui’s soon-“ I admit but he places his hand on my lips gently to shush me.

“My mom knows theres someone I’m trying to impress so she’s not expecting me back any time soon.”

“Are you seriously that horny?” I asked and he seems to bite his lip as his eyes widened and this is the first time I’d seen him look anything like Tsireya.

“Ao’nung-“ I state and he smiles.

“What was that word you used earlier?” He asks and seems to find it before I could think. “Have you ever had sex in the water before?” He asks.

“You’re ready to go? Already?” I asked in disbelief as he trails one hand down my spine, the other holding my bum.

“I’m sure you know this but we like to fuck several times a night with our mate.” He whispers in my ear and I could feel a sudden tingle in my pussy, I let out a short and quick sigh.

“As long as you take it slow, I’m a little sore from before-“

“We don’t have to, Tìyawn.”

“Believe me, I want to, you just have to go slow.” I kiss him feverishly.

[walnutcookie]

ok fuck it rodgerposting HERE I GOOOO

DISCLAIMER: this is a ramble about my own personal headcanons, loosely based off of scraps from the game that im able to make connections to. I do not see any of this as canon. this is not an analysis post, but feel free to use or expand on my headcanons if youd like!!! (i would love to hear abt/see what u do with it🙏🙏)

man. Honestly to start this i should preface that i designed my rodger headcanons to parallel glisten's character, so im going to mainly talk about those two in this post

Despite glistens ego it is VERY obvious that he has a lot of self esteem issues. Just from his twisted form alone we can see how dependent he is on the attention and praise of others, and his notes/interactions reinforce that. hes so deperate to feel loved and appreciated because he doesnt feel confident in himself so he puts up this false ego to try and convince OTHERS that hes perfect because maybe if other people think hes perfect he'll really believe it!!!! (he wont)

the convo he has with toodles is really interesting to me, i mean its kind of vague what "cry and complain" really means but im gonna say that he actively, or has in the past, vented to rodger about some of his self esteem issues

obviously rodger being a detective is right on theme with him being a magnifying glass and yknow. His object and occupation implies hes able to see things in others that others might not. but i also like to think that theres an irony of him being a mystery himself. he doesnt share much about himself - any conversation he has with other toons is mainly him asking questions about them while avoiding questions about himself or giving surface-level information. He's appreciated by the other toons, and is reliable when it comes to solving mysteries for the others ,,, he isnt feared or anything hes just. Unknown. He keeps to himself and others dont know what hes truly like. he doesnt have any close relationships at all, save for toodles

It stems from a feeling of worthlessness. he feels like hes too mediocre - sure, people would appreciate him the way he is, but why settle for that? by keeping nearly everything about himself the things people will theorize and imagine about him would be far more interesting and appealing than any lie he could spread about himself. Why pretend to be something hes not, which could easily be disproven, when he could just try not to be what he is? he wants to just be the cool mysterious polite detective who helps everyone yknow!!!! he WANTS people to be curious about him but never find out the answers. he doesnt want people to know that hes literally just like anyone else

and THATS the thing he has in common with glisten. they both have the same insecurity, that same desire to be loved and to be admired, to be seen as so much more than they really are, but they react to that feeling in opposite ways. Glisten tries to flaunt everything he has and more in an attempt to make himself seem perfect (when he clearly isnt), while rodger tries to push it all down and hide it so that people cant tell what hes really like

rodger knows what glisten is thinking. he knows what motivates his every action. that man can read glisten like a book bro... he can predict glistens every thought because theyre the same person. he knows glistens motives, he can predict how glisten must feel about other toons and rodger himself because he knows what its like to be in that position. and god he wants to help him. he knows what glisten is going through and wants to try to help as best he can ‼️

the problem is that glisten DOESNT understand. he doesnt know anything about rodger. rodger tries not to say much about what he observes so that glisten doesnt Freak the fuck out but then that just makes it worse because rodger will try to comfort him and say everything hes thinking and it terrifies the shit out of glisten because it seemingly comes out of nowhere 😭 rodger is still confused about glisten but less confused than glisten is about himself !!! He doesnt know rodgers motives cause again he doesjt talk about himself so hes just terrified of this guy he doesnt realize rodger is trying to help. he wants to believe he is but its hard to tell </3 regardless though glisten does truly care about rodger just... in a complicated way. Bro wants rodger dead but couldnt live on if he died and rodger knows that

would like to talk about rodger and toodles more but ill do that in a different post .... thank you if you read this far i love you . If u have any questions/comments/thoughts id love to hear feel free to send me asks!!!🙏🙏

[goingmerryfics]

Hii!!! i really love all your writing and wanted to request smth if that's okay!

could i request law x so who's into lolita fashion/subculture? Like, on days that they're able to they'll wear really extravagant looking lolita dresses and such, and is just overall really girly, and might be embarrassed about being such, esp with someone like him. but maybe he even likes that they're aesthetic opposites. idk fjsjfjfk

Ty!! <3

(idk if i need to say this but lolita fashion doesn't have anything to do with the. other uses of the term. sometimes ppl make accusations abt it but the jfashion and book are not related)

Lolita Style S/O w/ Law

Content: can be read as GN reader that wears skirts, all SFW

Notes* Thanks for being patient with me while I worked on this request! A couple of things popped up for me (and my new-used computer quit suddenly so I have to wait to see if it can be repaired or if I should just buy a brand new one) so I’ve been trying to work around this. Back to mobile tumblr I go 😢 ! Anyway- I know all too well how lolita culture gets sexualized in people’s eyes so this is a completely nsfw-free request. I made this more relatable to those in sweet style lolita more than gothic lolita since you’d commented about them being opposites and personally, I think it would be super cute for him to be paired with someone with this style. Hope you like it :)

Law

Law isn’t the type to pay attention to what people wear as long as they are dressed in proper uniform when need be. Self expression is something personal, and he’s aware of different everyone’s style is

Though he finds it hard not to notice how you dress on your days off, whether it’s just around the sub or out on the town

It’s a lot of pastel, and a lot of fabric

You hadn’t thought of what Law or the others might’ve thought the first time you dressed up, so when you kept catching Law staring at you at various points of the day, you started to feel a little nervous

Later though, the two of you had crossed paths and he stopped you there to ask about your choice of clothing

While you explained how you enjoyed the colours and the overly girly feel of it all, he listened to every word, and even asked you some questions- like how everything fit together, and how you chose to match your accessories to your clothes

He was intrigued, and being a knowledgeable man, he wanted to learn about you and your clothing style

He’d even gone off to do his own research at the next island, and secretly commissioned a seamstress to make a little purse modeled after Bepo’s face for your outfits because god knows this guy can’t sew for shit

Law had been waiting for you outside of your door, his present to you held in his hand, in a sweet little bag. You weren’t expecting to see him, nor were you expecting any sort of gift- it was nowhere near your birthday- but here he was. He pushes himself off from leaning against the door when he sees you.

“Here. I’m not sure if it’s alright, but I thought you might be able to use this.”

He hands you the bag, and you thank him before going off about how he didn’t need to get you anything, and asking what the occasion is as you dig through the white, glittery tissue paper to open it.

“No occasion. I just thought you’d like it.” He tries to act nonchalant and calm, but he’s watching your face for any changes to see if you like it or not.

You pull out the bag and gasp- it was perfect. Fluffy and pristine white, perfect for an outfit you’d been trying to put together for a while now- and it looked like your dear crewmate. You pull it to your chest with a big smile, going on a bit of a ramble at how cute it is, and how you’re going to use it right away.

The entire time you’re squealing over your new gift he’s smiling to himself, even if he doesn’t realize it.

The next time you change into your style, you make sure to keep the mini Bepo bag at your side. It goes great with your outfit

Bepo freaks out a little at the likelihood of the purse and his own face, but you quickly calm him down and explain that it’s not the head of a polar bear that you’re carrying around

Law watches you fawn over the bag with him from a distance, smiling to himself

He joins you later to walk around town with you. He’s come to enjoy how your style stands out so well beside him against his usual darker clothes

Law will also help you get dressed if you let him, buckling your shoes for you so you don’t have to fight the layers of skirt to reach your feet, or helping you pin up your hair pieces

You’d asked him once if he’d like to try men’s lolita style and he was very quick to shut that down.

“It looks better on you than it will on me.”

He really just likes seeing you as the unique one

[inanisomnia]

chishiya shuntaro headcanons. [chishiya x fem!reader]

idk if i'm late to post anything related to chishiya but nevertheless i'm still going to post this bc i wanna write something abt him because i need more content abt him sgakhs this man is taking over my life /sobs

anyway, here are some hcs !! i've been ia here on tumblr so pls bear with me ^^ if u enjoyed reading this kindly reblog it (?) if that's okay with u, it means a lot ilysm <;33

reqs are open <;33

oh and also this is my first time writing an hc tot

++ this might be connected to the drabble i plan to write/post

genre : fluff ?? gurl idek anymore

warning/s: none ?? not proofread kind of ungrammatical??-3#! sorry for that tot

chishiya meeting you (?)

chishiya shuntaro believes himself to be an apathetic human being - void shell of a human being. he does things and that's about it - until one night, at the beach, he saw you.

under the faint gleam of the celestial stars and crescent moon, amidst the crowds of people dancing their remaining lives away, dizzying lights that lit the dancefloor, there you are.

wearing a black puff sleeve bikini top paired with high waisted midnight-colored laced shorts - your hair gracefully danced along your swift movements as you danced and laughed with your new found friends in the borderland.

you caught his attention.

this doesn't really happen to him, but something about you was so enticing he can't even seem to look at anything else - until kuina taps his shoulder to talk about something.

after that night, he can't seem to shake you out of his head and best believe me that he's the most in denial person you'll ever know.

he'll convince himself with the silliest reasons like he might have just been hungry, or dizzy from the games, or maybe, sleepy. anything but acknowledge that he admires you.

you see, he might be an intelligent individual, academically and street smart, but there are times that he can't think straight when it comes to you.

most nights he subconsciously looks for you on the ocean of the crowds arriving after the games. he's aware that you're cunning, and physically strong to protect yourself, but there's this gnawing feeling whenever he can't spot you among the hundreds of people at the gate.

he'll never make the first move. never. unless of course you talk to him first which you did, one time because how could you ever ignore this pretty man and introduced yourself.

he can feel his heart hammer into his chest as you walk towards him but he'll never show it.

you offered your hands for him to shake as you ask for his name (of course you already know it, since he is one of the known executives at the beach. but you still shoot your shot.)

he's not the type to shake your hand if you introduce yourself, but he acknowledges your presence in his own way.

conflicted with the feelings he's experiencing but he doesn't like to overthink things so he just goes along with it.

until he can't. until he wants all of you – until he wants to know everything about you, to protect you.

as your boyfriend:

i really feel like he's not really into pda. he would want to keep your relationship in secret. there may have been lots of people in the borderlands who despise him and he's actually afraid that they will use you to get back at him.

he doesn't want that. he doesn't want you to get hurt at all. after settling his feelings that he does love you, genuinely, he swore to himself that he'll protect you.

(i've read this here before and i'll put it here but y'all are so right dgahshs) his love language is quality time. and physical touch.

at midnights, he'll sneak into your room and literally just play board games or just talk about everything.

he doesn't let others touch his hair nor his face but if its you, hell, that's more than fine.

he loves your warm touch, your tenderness as you braid or play with his hair, rambling about things you love and hate.

he's a great listener. he'll stare at you with full adoration in his eyes and slight smile.

he's fucking grateful for your existence. you're his solace in this hell you're both caught up wjth.

gurl he loves cuddles especially after a tough game, he craves your skin, your smile, your laugh, everything.

the first time you both kissed was you doing it impulsively because you got so happy on what he gave you (its up to your imagination to what it is gsajgd) and you're both caught off guard.

there was an awkward silence and a plethora of apologies, but he just smiled and cupped your face and kissed you tenderly.

everything seemed to melt away. it felt as if the borderland turned into a hazy cloud 9.

when you can't sleep, he'll play with your hair, both bodies entangled under the sheets, a wholesome intimacy between souls trying to survive this hell.

he's the type to kiss your scars and lull you to sleep.

sgakuss basically chishiya being head over heels in love with every bits of you - your flaws, your moles, your dimples, every little detail about you, he's here for it.

he doesn't realize it yet, but you did change the way he perceives himself.

[meistwentyinchheels]

THE may lore post

Hello everyone, it is time. TIME to share a bunch of my Keyframes winter MC, May's, lore!!! This isn't gonna be all of it (gotta keep up the air of mystery somehow), but just as a heads up I will be touching upon some more sensitive topics (toxic relationships, slight familial issues etc.) incase y'all don't wanna read that.

And if you're unfamiliar with May then here is the link to her introduction post!! Please do read that before you read this as I will not be heavily repeating stuff I've already said...although if you're in the KF fan server then there's a chance you already know some of this stuff, because it's always Mercy angst hours there (TRUST 🙏) and I just love to ramble abt her.

To start off this experience I am sharing May's angst playlist!!! (it's not the only one actually uh) and the lore rambles will be under the cut. Note: this post is really fucking long by the way so be prepared to be reading for a WHILE.

Beginning with her background, there isn't really that much to say? But I will say that she was born in Incheon, South Korea although she moved to Los Angeles, California, US at the age of 7. Her immediate family consists of her, her father, mother and younger sister. May's younger sister, April (legal name is Haeyoon), is younger by 4 years meaning that she is a high school junior at the time the first spring semester demo takes place. Her father is a surgeon and her mother is a baker.

Soooo...some of you might be wondering why May and her family moved to the US, right? Well, the answer to that question would have something to do with May's father's side of the family. I've mentioned in her introduction post that her family is wealthy and that is where a large portion of their wealth comes from. And you guessed it! That entire side of the family are extremely bigoted (to put it lightly...if that says anything). Her father's family also did not approve of her mother which would add another reason as to why they would want to get away from them. Technically they could have moved to Jeju Island, which is where May's mother is from, but due to certain reasons that wasn't an option and so they opted to move to the US in hope of a better life.

Despite physically moving farther away from them, they are still in low contact. This does occasionally cause issues, but May's parents make an attempt (emphasis on the attempt) to keep her and her sister out of it all. The occasional visits back to Incheon also don't really help their situation. But that is as much as I'm willing to share about her family situation :3 Also guys don't worry, May's mother's side of the family are actually normal (thank god). Her cousins on that side love to make random shitposts with her on TikTok (so real of them frfr).

Oh also, speaking of moving. May did move back to South Korea by herself when she was like 13. Then she returned to the States the year she turned 16. Will I explain why she moved back? Nope! Although I will say that her 3 year stay in SK affected her decision to stay as an indie musician instead of trying to go mainstream. If you're catching onto what I mean then no the fuck you don't.

Then moving onto May's horribly messy love life (and if my predictions regarding the Percy route are correct then...my condolences)! There is uhm, a lot. to unpack here. I think I've mentioned in an ask that May has been in 2 relationships and 1 situationship before. None of which ended well actually I MEAN WHO SAID THATTTTTT. So if I attempt to shortly summarize those it would be something along the lines of...

Her love life beginning with a situationship with a girl called Lucia in like sophomore year of high school. See the thing that makes this thing so complicated is that Lucia's parents were homophobic as fuck. This influenced Lucia, obviously, which caused her to go into denial and whatever was between her and May fizzled out. Wanna know why? Because she ghosted May!!! Yeah. Then she got a boyfriend like 2 weeks after that. So safe to say that May's first experience with romance was not that great. She also gained a fear of abandonment so uh. do with that information what you will.

Then we move onto her first actual relationship which began merely 4 months after the ordeal with Lucia. This is where the real shitshow begins by the way!!!! Anyways so, she got together with this guy called Chris who she was introduced to by a friend of hers called Jenn. This relationship was also May's longest one so it lasted like BARELY over 2 years. Honestly their breakup was kind of(?) expected considering everything kinda...went to shit after the Sacramento Incident. Which took place like a year before their breakup (so during HS senior year).

Will I be elaborating what I mean by the Sacramento Incident? Hmmmm nah, although I will say it's smth smth smth the beginning of the downfall of May's entire HS friend group smth smth smth Chris and Jenn (?) smth smth smth people got into a lot of shit after it. Also for context: Sacramento is like...a 7hr-ish drive away from LA. How did a bunch of high school seniors get there? Who knows. I do! But am I gonna tell y'all? NOPE. Also May didn't return home for like 4 days after it then got grounded for like 3 weeks with her only communication method with her friends being her fucking school email.

Oops I derailed for a sec there, ANYWAYS! The reason why Chris and May broke up? That would be because Chris cheated on May with Jenn. Lovely isn't it!! I will not explain any further. And so since it was her first ever relationship (and a long-term one at that) the breakup kinda. fucked her up mentally like...permanently. Girlie is NOT okay. Then like a month after the breakup, May started college at Wryn Mayer. So she was still very much recovering from that heartbreak.

Then we get to May's 2nd relationship...oh boy. This one was CRAZYYYYYY. Like actually. I'm not joking btw. So, like around November of that same year she got together with this guy called Tavon (who was like a 3rd year at Wryn Mayer when they got together). However, guess what...Tavon is the ex of one of May's college friends, Sienna. And because she got with him like only 2 months after Tavon and Sienna ended things uhhhh safe to say that the two girls were no longer friends (yikes).

To add to the fucked up factor, Tavon was kind of a rebound for May? Like she hadn't fully moved on from Chris when she got together with Tavon. Also I'm not really gonna get into the nitty gritty details of May and Tavon's relationship, because there's some REALLY fucked up shit going on there 😭 But if I sum it up uhhh...let's just say that Tavon was manipulative and controlling as fuck. That's just barely scratching the surface of whatever went on there, but when she was with him it's like May's self-respect was non-existent (which is a huge contrast to her usual self).

Tavon also uhm. cheated on May like 3 times? And because the dude was too good at manipulating her she did forgive him each time. But by the end of her 1st year at college she was slowly coming to a realization that he's destroying her mental health and so she broke up with him like just a few weeks before summer vacation. Then they were also on and off for another 2 months after that. But her besties (Cam and Deja) managed to convince her to cut him off completely. May has been single after that shitshow and now has not only a fear of abandonment, but also trust and commitment issues!!

That whole ordeal was also the reason why May impulsively bleached her hair blonde during the summer before her 2nd year in college. Before that she had never bleached or dyed her hair before so she had virgin black hair for 20 years. She also stayed blonde for like half a year I'd say? She didn't dye her hair red until like a month before the BBQ where she met the boys. That red won't stick for long either because I'm planning on her to dye her hair black during the summer lol.

So yeah May's been through some shit, but at least she still has some of her high school friends and also Cam and Deja to help her heal <3 Let's hope all that healing doesn't go down the drain once she gets with Percy (devs if you're reading this then please spare us 🙏). Speaking of him actually!!! I have a Mercy (May and Percy's ship name btw, say ty to one of my friends for suggesting that name) playlist and it's actually what I've been listening to the whole time I've been writing this. So here's the link!

And yes May is very very very Ethel Cain coded (LISTEN TO THE PREACHER'S DAUGHTER ALBUM!!! GUYS TRUST!!!). There is honestly so much more lore I could elaborate on, but this is already long enough that I feel like speaking more on it will kill me internally. So I'm gonna leave this off here!! Ty for reading and I'm so sorry because this is like 1.6k words long...

[walrus150915]

Since you liked my rambling abt my random Nimona headcanons, here's part 2

- Starting off with the queen (rip), I think her white hair is actually a wig and she has some gorgeous greying tight curls under it

- There was a thingy "the Boldheart project" which was created when Bal got accepted into the Institute's knight program. "The project" followed his progress in training to figure out if commoners were able to train as good as nobles. If he completed the course successfully, the reform would be set (sry I like talking abt fantasy politics- yea, putting responsibility on a literal child to become a figure of "equality" is... Sure a strategy)

Let's stop with the politics amirite

- Ambrosius sings in the shower. First it was like quiet humming n stuff but when him and Bal start living together this guy's shower was akin to opera (hah- soap opera- get it-)

- Ambrosius would be a type of a rich dude who fantasizes about living on his own and providing for himself and having this sweet humble suburban way of life with his husband until he actually starts living this way (he's a literal nepo baby- cmon the habits will be there even if he tries being independent)

Ambrosius: Bal, I don't get why I keep burning my bread! It's the second time I fail!

Ballister: Practice makes perfect, darling

Ambrosius: But these KitKoters make it look so easy😭😭

- He catches up gradually tho. Bal is very understanding, Nimona is having a lot of fun with this

- Does fun include bullying Ambrosius for not knowing how to remove plants to the bigger pots?. Yea kinda

- Nimona's hanging out with the kingdom's kids from time to time. She goes out of her way to make them laugh or make them feel happy in general. It heals her inner child, in a way

- Even though she hangs out with them from a perspective of a cool older shapeshifting punk sibling, she still feels like their peer and can't help but transform into her child form sometimes

- idk I think Nimona shapeshifts into a child pretty often if she feels overwhelmed or emotionally devastated or just wants to be taken care of

- Ballister does take care of her

Wow this got sad fast. Anyway

- Ambrosius is left-handed but was forced to relearn because the perfect descendant of Gloreth cannot be left-handed, it's abnormal🤓

- Ballister can't help but go 😬 when either Ambrosius or Nimona take food with their left hand while eating. Yeah technically eating with his flesh hand would be easier for him. No he won't do that for the life of him (saying hi to all Muslims out there)

- Ballister decides to grow out a real beard and Nimona thinks it's the coolest thing ever to play with during their family quality time. Ambrosius also likes this change in his looks but for rather uh... gay different reasons😁

If we're talking about gay stuff I might just as well talk abt some Goldenheart hcs

- When they've only started dating Ballister had a really difficult time with the eye contact bc Ambrosius's loving gaze was too much to handle for him. He'd see how gentle and soft his eyes are and how they're filled with complete adoration to the top and just look away all blushy and smitten

- I think we as a fandom agree that Ambrosius's love language is arm chopping physical touch. Have you considered how important kisses can be to him in expressing his love tho

- Ambrosius LOVES kissing Ballister. He's probably kissed him everywhere if you think about it-

- But yea. He steals kisses from Bal as often as he can. Boo goes to work? Kiss him goodbye. Boo gets back? Kiss him goodhi - doesn't matter where😉

- His favorite place to kiss is probably Bal's neck bc he just likes nuzzling into it and making him all flustered

- Ballister loves kissing Ambrosius as well. His favorite thing ever is press kisses into Ambrosius's hair while they're lying down on the couch, Ambrosius's head on Ballister's chest n his arms around Ballister's torso. It makes them both feel very soft and warm and safe❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

- (teenage years) You know this type thing when kittens playfully fight each other and jump onto each other and bite and stuff? Yea that's teenage Goldenheart

- (a little older than teenage years) current sparring trend in the writer part of the fandom. That's it. You know damn well what I'm talking about

- At some point their private training sessions became the reason they succeeded in combat and got the highest of marks

Okay gay stuff is over

- Nimona has some pretty dark humor but draws the line at the things that could really trigger her or other people. Joking about burning everything down? Of course. Joking about... Well... The act 3 of the movie? Nope, never

- Nate Knight (do ya remember him?) does drag in his off-duty time haha RuPaul hi

- Ballister snores in his sleep bc he's a dad like that

- Ballister also is a type of dad to sleep on the couch while watching TV, and when you turn it off he wakes up and tells you he's been watching it this whole time

- Both Nimona and Ambrosius encourage Ballister to speak his mother tongue more often bc he used to hide it at the Institute

- Nimona scrunches her nose when she tries to remember things

- Ballister snaps his fingers while remembering stuff, especially in "Huh... What's the word for..." situations (he just like me fr)

- Nimona loves biting pencils and pens but sometimes she bites too hard and they break in half or something

- I feel like her stomach is iron. This punk can eat an eraser or swallow a knife or drink lava-hot water and all she'll do is burp maybe

- After leaving the Institute Ambrosius would have one hell of existential crisis. All he's dedicated his life to for all these years were lies and propaganda, what's the purpose of his life now? He tries out as many new things as he can - baking, painting, singing, playing musical instruments, photography, even science (with Bal's help ofc) my dude has tried it all. He sometimes felt worthless bc his life had no greater purpose but Bal and Nimona would reassure him that living happily with people who love him is more than enough and that you don't have to be the greatest person ever to live the best life. Find joy in the smallest of things n stuff😌

- Ballister has found ways to renovate his arm and made a bunch of new prosthetics for different purposes. I feel like he'd use a hook as well sometimes (as I've heard from the disabled community, hook is a very comfortable aid). No I'm not talking about that one post about his prosthetic's... renovations (😳) from the fan acc I follow

On this quite interesting note I'll end the post😁

Gn!!

[tainted-heartz]

Hey, can i please request a Wally + Autistic!reader? I have aspergers and wally makes my autism go boinga boinga please i am begging you

-🪰

| as an autistic person myself my brain just goes boing like a slinky going down a set of stairs when I think abt wally- |

- wally is autistic (canonly..) as well so he can relate to how you are a lot! you can even talk to him about your struggles and he'll help as best as he can.

- if you're the type to get sensory overload very often he'll help you either by getting your comfort item whatever that might be of if its from too much noise the fella puts his hands over your ears in an attempt to help.

- he lets you ramble about your current fixation or anything you're really into and have obsessed over for a while.

- depending on how you are , if you're a person who shows little to no expressions he can easily tell how you're feeling (somehow) and if you're in public and when someone asks “ are they mad or..? ” “ oh no , my dear friend here is actually very happy. ”

- if you get any sort of overstimulation his solution is to let you hold his hand and if you need to squeeze it he doesn't mind even if its basically a death grip. sometimes he even brings fidget toys if you need to keep your hands busy.

- if you stim a lot he ends up stimming with you! usually just seeing people stim causes him to stim but if you have a happy stim he'll join in as well just by him being happy or being happy for you.

[gardenofhope]

what if I took lula and luca and made them purple. what if

boo!! lore jumpscare, I guess. my friends reminded me that I should do whatever I want and they’re right so. I’m going to ramble now, these are basically copy pasted from discord so do not expect anything fancy. I’m not a writer T.T

- so like. the twin’s mirror counterparts would act pretty different from them obviously. mir lula would be the complete opposite of lula, being loud and brash and being very willing to pick a fight. if you look at her the wrong way she WILL fight you. mir lula hates being the mirror counterpart of someone she deems as weak in her eyes, and goes out of her way to prove to herself that she’s stronger and better than lula. mir lula is kind of coping hardcore by doing her best to be just. kind of a bitch LMAO. mir lula is like of the embodiment of lula’s own lack of self worth but turned up tenfold. if the two were left together mir lula would immediately tear into lula, while lula would just listen bc she believes it to be true anyways… god help her. luca wouldn’t let anyone be such an ass to his sister, definitely not even her mirror counterpart, and mir lula would see luca as a weakling like she does lula, mostly because mir luca seems more put together than him. either way she hates luca and luca hates her.

- as for mir luca… he has a bit of an ego with all the unhealthy habits luca has. he also will be rude to you if he deems you unworthy of his time, mir luca is a bit of a workaholic and spends a lot of time working on new projects. he thinks he’s better than you and does not care. he’s more proficient than luca is with his magic, reflecting how luca desires to be better at it himself. luca can be a bit egotistical sometimes, and is quick to get on his bad side if you fuck up even the slightest bit, which is why mir luca is the same way but turned up a few notches. luca does feel like a burden at times and mir luca feels a similar way, so he tries to hold himself in high regard to compensate for that, and works constantly to make himself feel useful. mir luca and luca get along okay actually, they can talk abt the technical aspects of own projects together, and mir luca does hold some respect for luca actually. although lula might feel a bit awkward around him bc he’s more serious than luca, mir luca would enjoys lula’s presence. lula usually being polite and kind would be a breath of fresh air in comparison to being around mir lula so much LMAO

- another thing is, I think secretly both mirror twins would be a little jealous of how close the actual twins are. mir lula and mir luca do care about the other deep down, but they have a very hard time showing it properly… on a surface level they both have the mentality of “you’re the only idiot around here I can actually trust.” but there’s times where how much they care abt each other the way lula and luca do slips through the cracks… but they don’t show it properly. like mir luca fussing over mir lula coming home with injuries bc “she’s taking him away from his work” as he’s tending to them [he secretly worries for her well-being, he thinks her constantly picking fights isn’t good for her. she pushes herself too much and he can tell it’s causing physical and mental strain on her]; and mir lula bringing a homemade meal to mir luca when he’s in the middle of working bc “what use is he if he starves to death” [he forgets to eat often and it worries her, again he has a few unhealthy habits just like luca… a poor sleep schedule, constantly trying to keep himself busy, and again, not eating well isn’t good!!]

if anyone read all of this imagine me giving you a tasty homemade cookie I baked myself. okay? okay bye

[whataboutsimple]

What if you had an admin-sona? How would you look and what would your symbolism be and what concepts would you represent? If you were a god in the style of the MCSM universe?

Oh uh- wow- that- that actually made me think a lot, sorry for the wait!

An interesting question tbh? I've never ever thought before abt that, even though I do have a God in my Complex AU, he's not me, but silly dummy idiot who can't do things right.

Okay, so, everything I'll say bellow is purely my opinion and I'm not claiming any of that as canon! It's so messy and rambling like I can't even believe I wrote it.

If we speak in theory, I think I would be more like Fred? Xara and Romeo kind of a Warriors, meanwhile Fred is more of a peacemaker with a backup plan.

In Admin form it probably would've be a tall, slim man, with green as the main colour and white as the second colour . To be specific: light green sea for the skin, cedar green for the sclera, white iris and pupil, curly white hair.

Maybe I'll draw him if you want??

Long story short: peacemaker with a sword as a backup plan.

Unlike Trio, he wouldn't have a town for himself since it's too much of a pressure to take care of people who might die any moment. Instead he would probably mess with mobs, travel in his human form more, practice with fighting, building, redstone, (he has plenty of time anyway) and create new normal things (like bees for example).

So, since he's a hardworker and pickaxe basically means mining (it's a hard work), I think it would be his symbolism?

The one who works for people but stays in the back (creates useful and unharmful things) as a concept.

He wouldn't take much credit for it though and would be more than happier to fade into the shades just to avoid to much responsibility. We know that Romeo's flaw is his ego, Fred was too kind, Xara too stubborn, and he? Probably a coward in some way. He's not afraid of saving people, he's afraid of being too late to do it when they all expected him to succeed. So the philosophy is "Let it ride and interfere only if needed".

But he'll get tired eventually and probably will leave to the farlands? Without a noise and people to deal with, he can freely experiment without worrying hell hurt someone. And because he sits there like Soren in the end, hell probably will have no idea what Romeo did, since after putting Xara into the Sunshine institute Romeo decide to keep him in the Farlands with letters: "Were okay here, keep your researches!"

So he doesn't know.

Doesn't know about Fred's death.

Doesn't know about Xara being a human.

Doesn't know about WitherStorm, Portal Network, gauntlet.

He simple doesn't know until he decides to get back.

Let's say, he's not dying from saddens, but he sure is heartbroken when they spill the news to him. He liked Fred a lot.

But, oh wow, he's the last Admin now! That's interesting for sure. For so long he was running away from responsibility, but now he needs to take care about every human being.

Got back to what he was running from ig?

He will keep his silent and calm nature, but at the same time he'll make sure he does everything he can to help those around him. That's what Fred would wanted, right?

Oh, and you, Romeo? You'll going to be near him everywhere and always whether you like it or not. It's time to teach you what kindness means and you need to help rebuilt the town you destroyed!

I think.. I think that's all? Maybe I have some other info abt him- me- us? But it's only silly things that you'll prob won't be interested in.

I'm bad at making myself a God ig? Sorry if it got you disappointed.

[narsh-potatoes]

Never apologize for rambling abt your OCs on my post. I love y ou (and HOHHH THAT SOUNDS SO INTERSETING I'M LOOKING)

OKAY COOL FUCK YEAH THANKS

im using you as an excuse to talk about my very own home-grown blorbos now

So!!!!!!!!! i literally only have half of a design for the two of these ocs, i've only drawn one of them ONCE and i don't count it cuz i wanna redesign him COMPLETELY (that piece is not even canon, i had to do that for a class so i put stuff in there that doesn't even belong to the type of story it is </3), i've written for the two of them a couple times but im not even sure THAT'S canon anymore

(here's the art in case you don't wanna click on a link)

i think the writing might still be canon tho, i do still kinda like a lot of the stuff it went over with that. N E WAYS.

basically there's this pair of witches (they don't. really have. names. oops. they did but i don't like them anymore) who enlisted and then eventually rose to the top of fighting this war/apocalypse/encroaching disaster that has been ongoing for a LONG time. like, they're at the end of the world but turns out the end of the world is a hell of a lot slower than anyone imagined. they've been fighting it for a long time (and it does involve actual fighting? like i like to think that this apocalypse acts more as like. locust swarm but the bugs are big big buggy boys that hates you hates you hates you and eats the magic out of the world)

and the first (we'll call him A) is the one who rose up in the ranks to be best of the best very quickly, because his kind of magic is very powerful and was critically effective in the fight. and the second guy (we'll call him B) is kind of. worst of the best. SORT OF. he was best of the best because he fought alongside A and B's brand of magic explicitly deals with the bond the two of them shared. (i call it bonds magic cuz i can't think of something better for now) (yes it's power of friendship) (there more to that but whatever) it was IMMENSELY powerful!!! not moreso than A's magic, but still!! very powerful!!! so B rose up because A pulled him up (not entirely true!!! but you get the point. nuance)

BUT THEN. sometime after they had been in the war for a long ass time, A leaves. either from shame, either he's disillusioned, something happened, he won't say. and just kind of. leaves B behind. who still is very much part of the war and won't say anything to sway A's mind because he cares too much about what he thinks

years later, B's still part of the war/doom effort. and magic in the world has kind of deteriorated so much that it's. honestly kind of hard to come across a solid magic user these days. they still teach them and still get people to join the effort, but compared to the older days, it's a lot less. people can learn magic, everyone can, but it's hard to get like. a professional, someone who has unlocked the higher abilities of magic. people like A or B.

speaking of! yeah. B is still part of the war effort. and it's NOW at the period of time where he's the worst of the best, but he's the only one they've got. they still keep him around because who else is there, really, and also he can still utilize the powerful bond magic he made way back when with A, so he's still very powerful but it's just. different. ya know? he's standing in the shadow of just the IDEA of A, and he's not even here anymore. and it's not filled with resentment, never. never resentment. he could never tarnish that. it's only ever love. and looking up to A. it didn't feel like he cast a shadow because to B, to him, he only ever cast light.

but also. A left. left him. alone.

so he's dealing with that in a perfectly reasonable manner (not thinking about it)

meanwhile A has decided to live a pastoral life away from the apocalypse and is totally not repressing his issues either. <3.

and like!!! the council or whatever that's in charge of all the witches is like "hey. B. you know your way cooler friend? you still keep in touch right?" and sends him off to go find A again after all these years to bring him back to the war and there's a whole mess of meeting again and having to meet with all the things you left unsaid, and all the everything and OOUAOUGHFF it's a whole mess.

anyways i want to make this a comic but also i kind of need to. yknow. design and draw the comic if i want to make the comic. so like. rage.

[minnieposting]

hsr ramblings to get out of my system

sunday and aventurine focused. also about how sunday's totally dying in 2.2. and some other stuff

⚠️lots of talking out of one's own ass⚠️

prefacing this with saying this is just my stream of consciousness tbh, things might be all over the place. i am again literally just talking out of my ass tbh! i love stories and thinking about narrative as a system, so ive been going a lil nuts with penacony and its characters

but i decided to write this because i keep realizing so many things about both sunday and aventurine. i've been making a huge list in my notes and mainly my head about it so lets just get into it...

1. my friend and i were talking about it being hinted that sunday is not his real name. when sunday is first introduced, we have the option to ask if everyone in the family has a strange name. march says it might just be a stage name.

i've seen lots of talk about sunday's connection with dominicus, usually either about sunday actually being him or channeling him somehow. but either way, im very 👀👀

just earlier, i was thinking about how both sunday and aventurine are putting on grand final shows and how they're both bosses. the fact 'stage name' is being used here is very interesting in that case. just something im also very 👀👀 about

2. following up on aventurine and sunday and how they're both bosses putting on a 'show'... im now gonna talk abt their insane similarities and also their opposing traits. i feel like every single similarity i notice is also paired with an opposite

for example, their losses

sunday - older brother, lost his sister + family recently

aventurine - younger brother, lost his sister + family a long time ago

this is actually one of the reasons i think sunday will be gone forever 🫡 with the two of them being opposites, sunday is the older brother who won't survive, while aventurine is the younger brother who did. plus, if aven's sister is dead, and robin ends up being fine, that just further proves to me sunday has to die. theyre flipped!!

along with that, aventurine will come out of this fine, because we know he's blessed and he's said it himself, he always comes out as the final victor, and we see that he's coming out of this with a new reason to keep going. between sunday and aventurine, it's pretty clear who's going to come out on top. speaking in terms of their roles in the narrative again

which makes me curious about sunday's end goal, as we all must be... which brings me to

3. the shared goal of freedom

this actually expands to pretty much everyone. i noticed that freedom is a very big theme in penacony. prisoners were once held there, aventurine is a prisoner himself (both figuratively and literally), the family's shady shit as a whole and how some people are literally just being forced to stay, firefly's whole thing about feeling trapped, so on... and of course, there's aventurine again, with his thoughts of suicide and wanting to be free

a while ago i was thinking about all this in relation to sunday specifically, the family as a whole, and harmony specifically too. to unite as one harmonious beautiful being, free from chaos. i wonder if sunday's boss will be related to freeing people. it's clear he has connections to the order, which also doesn't welcome chaos and strife.

may be totally far fetched especially since the story will be complete in just a few days, but!! sunday boss being meant to get everyone absorbed into the choir, free from all those exact things. i think a lot about how the charmony festival invited out all the factions for the first time, but i'm not sure where to place it. could've just happened because 'the right time has finally come', aka, dominicus' arrival? whatever tho i have other things to talk about that im more excited over. sunday sacrificial lamb vibes? who knows

honorary mention to the siblings maybe feeling trapped by family, or actually straight up being trapped, WHO KNOWS! i dont know anything actually, i've never known a single fact in my life, but i will on may 8

4. more sunday aventurine similarities and opposites

- both described as madmen, sunday literally being told by ratio he needs to see a shrink because he thinks the same way as aventurine

- both extremely logical, always pulling damn tricks up their sleeves, infinite amount of room in those sleeves

- as mentioned before, both lost their sisters, although in a different order. both lost their parents around the same time though

- (from gagwanju on twt) aventurine utilizing and working with those around him to achieve his goal, while sunday has been working alone. again, another thing that makes me think that sunday will be the unsuccessful one in the end. not that sure what i mean by 'unsuccessful' currently, tbh.

- (from someone else on twt but i cant remember or find the post 💀) sunday and aventurine both brought into high institution and forced into a role

i'm getting tired so i'm gonna cut it short here but

honorary mention to yesterday night? where i was thinking about how they both put up fronts. inside, aventurine is tired, fearful. just being a struggler ykyk. sunday is described as having a twisted personality... aka just ocd, and getting worse everyday after losing his sister and being told he can't do anything about it bc charmony festival. ocd makes you have lots and lots of anxiety, so i wonder what's going on underneath. is he the opposite of aventurine in this case? instead of being just Exhausted, he might be fired up completely. an irritable mess, potentially very angry, etc etc, since his grief is so recent. maybe he's experiencing everything aventurine did back when he first lost his sister in particular, since they are two sides of the same coin (AGAIN).

uugjrjajd i feel my brain getting stupider as i type, but the final thing i wanna bring up is the name of the charmony festival. i was just wondering what it could possibly mean, and why it isn't just called the Harmony festival. whats the ch? is it CHARM ony festival? makes sense to me if the choir is just going to hypnotize people and try and absorb everyone, but im not too sure bc the order is also involved here. idk i dont know anything i actually only started playing this game a month ago

ending this with: sorry if i got anything wrong or confused. im very bad at explaining myself properly and may have remembered things wrong but also i have bad anxiety all the time so IDK

these r just stuff ive been brainrotting over for the past week, and its not even everything, i just needed it out of me 😭😭😭 i am very excited for 2.2. didnt even get into all those damn BABY SUNDAY AND ROBIN TRAILER IMPLICATIONS like omfg... goodbye. why is the sunday boss a childhood drawing why did sunday hesitate when saying 'right! both of us' WHAT HAPPENED. i think he knew he was never going to sing with robin, but why???? ahhhdhdbf

to those who may have read all of this.... DAMN i cant believe u did that, fun fact scallops have eyes

omg... editing this a while after posting, but i totally forgot about the lore of the xipe emanators, and how they can assume the form of any family member when necessary???? not sure where to place that in ^^^^ all that, but something i just wanted to add in... ACKNOWLEDGED.......... 2.2 is going to be a wild ride. hwat the fuck do u mean they can just do that.

[precipasse]

thx for giving such a comprehensive answer!!! i HIGHLY rec eternal endings ♡ only the prologue is out but it has a lot of substance. the premise is crazy unique and cool. theres a clear and strong creative vision, the atmosphere is carefully constructed and v immersive. its made by the rocky restarts dev. aside from VAs he put the game together by himself, and seeing the growth from rr to ee is rlly impressive. its 1 of those stories u mentioned where the only thing left from dr is the format: its weird in the best way, keeps u on ur toes w bits of worldbuilding. the themes and characters r mature and nuanced. the cast has a large age range (+ other cool factors i dont want to spoil :p) most r adults so there is more context and history packed in them. my fav thing is that they each are flawed in distinct and very humanizing ways, and written w clear empathy. their interactions feel natural (smth i liked abt rr too) and i like the comedic writing. theres extra dialogue and even dialogue variations depending on the order u do things! the dev has uploaded a full playthrough on his yt if u cant play. the first part might seem like its dragging on at first viewing but it truly is worth reading through esp in hindsight. sorry u asked for recs and i gave u an essay😭 i think u would like it tho!!!!

ofc!

saw your other ask halfway thru typing this so im inserting what id respond to that right here: R U KIDDING !!! im happy to see a ramble! im glad you have so much love for it and so much to say about it and im happy you felt like you could bring it to me!! ok insert over

nooo no worries at all about the length!!!! its all good thoughtful info plus its very sweet to see the excitement someone has over something they like :) I did see that on the devs channel and thought the concept was really neat!! i didnt check it out for whatever reason i think because i was looking for the rocky restarts plot video and then got distracted lol.. but i saw petra and was surprised and delighted because i had watched someone play dont die alone aaages ago when it first came out. omg i know her! and she is such a sweetiepie! very endearing because i know ive repurposed my own ocs for other things.

thank you for the rec! happy to get a response! on it right now o7 o7 o7

[diodellet]

*slides in*

How about 3, 16, 17 and 29 for the fic writer asks?

omg i didnt think id ramble this much (thank u for enabling me ner 🤧💕💕)

3. how you feel about your current WIP

tbh i'm not super confident about my writing any time i come out from from a long long hiatus of not posting anything. also like… i'm not super confident writing other charas aside from jamil since i don't really think ab them as much… (sorry leona-natics* whenever this drabble gets posted, but like fingers crossed the sitch will hopefully be exciting enough)

*i think it might have to do with the fact that i kinda hc leona on the grayspec++have more vv specific hc characterizations i like of him, but ig i do see his appeal (one of m'oomfs is a leona-natic and well ahu her propaganda might've been subconsciously assimilated)

but ahaha i tend to write things that i'm very personally interested in so i'll find a way to have fun with it, i'll be gucci i just get too into my head, it's a vicious cycle as a writer.

16. favorite place to write

uhhh im a very sedentary person, probably a result from the pandemic, and being a thorough homebody even after that

hmm i would say id like a nice ambient public place with coffeeeee my blood my life force Some amount of people engrossed in their own work, but like in the ph, esp in a place populated by a lot of uni students, cafes end up being hella cold (im skin and bones the cold is Evil)++noisy (which i don't see as a big bad thing esp since i like socializing with my friends...at the cost of putting off my own writing oops HAHAHA)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy. here we go. one thing to note throughout all this: my only consistent practice as a writer is inconsistency. (and ig, if i try hard enough, i can usually put out a passable 200-300 words in one sitting)

sometimes i can outline a fic and take forever chipping away at it

^^(case in point: that sebek x vampire!reader x silver fic... i joked abt waiting until book 7 would drop on EN but it has been Stuck. i wanna write bi-disaster sebek so bad though 🤧🤧)

other times my actual writing veers waaaaay into a diff plotpoint instead of what i have plotted out

^^(there're these 2 now-removed bullet points in wcidfy's outline for ch 3 that went: "do i have the balls to write a fever scene… gaguhan anhirap nito pag walang ob [tl: fuck this is hard (to write) without overblots]" and "i also keep thinking of a scene in the (scarabia) gardens…and lying about bees…weird")

and sometimes i can just shit out 1k-ish words unprompted.

^^though this last example leads to my most rough writing++editing ('ily but leave me tf alone' and 'no id rather pretend'), i only look over for immediate errors, but keep iffy-phrasings and repeated words, but sometimes i still miss incomplete sentences that i jus quickly fix after posting ahahaha.

in terms of my more "polished" writing, i edit as i write (<- i do Not recommend this style. it's very unsustainable if ur planning to do more conventional writing/publishing and it's very easy to get trapped in your writer's block)

and after finishing 80% of it, i try to get a second pair of eyes on it (thanks @jessamine-rose mwaps) because validation of works in progress feels good it also helps to have a trusted outside person look at the work with fresher eyes. also smtimes we get into bouncing ideas back nd forth that we spawn new brainrot lmao like this👇

i like to call my writing a "semi-polished first draft" partly out of self-defense and self-criticism. but really, i think i'd rather have "good enough" writing posted than "my best" because i could spend forever hoarding my wips. i think i'll always have regrets over not fleshing out certain beats/using certain phrasings and references, but i also enjoy looking back on my writing and seeing the incremental, microscopic progress. it makes the process more enjoyable than self-flagellating.

on a personal note, the writing workshop scene can be brutal. with some criticism being needlessly harsh, sure it produced some of my "best" writing but the process was Not Fun. while i get that being able to revise meaningfully is an important thing, i think the endgoal of feedback (from my short exp of betaing for friends) shud always be aimed towards uplifting the writer's aim to create/improving the writer's vision of what they wanna achieve, especially in a craft that is as solitary as writing. wait ill rb a post about making ur shitty pots, very in-line with making art in general

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

very hard. i hate thinking of titles, thats why i yoink lines from songs (who cares if the vibe doesnt fit im adding layers of interpretation or sumn🥴🥴). ACTUALLY wcidfy had like 3 other possible names (it was either *rolls out list* hairtie, nonequivalent exchange, or ben franklin effect* wcidfy was the most bearable one.) *i tried to look up how to distill the psychological phenomenon of someone probably liking u more after u do a small favor for them into 2-3 words, but it had to be a WHITE MAN'S NAME 🤢🤢NAW!!!!

for few other examples:

'say what you mean' was initially titled 'oh how the tables turn'

'roommates? more like roomfoes' was first titled 'pet peeves'

'hypothermia' was first titled 'frigid' but then i thought of paradoxical undressing nd stuff and da pseudo-warmth

i've also moved a bunch of other plot beats from wcidfy's main document into a file called "part 45678 of wcidfy"

as u can see i prioritize making myself laugh wid my wip titles. i wanna put the illusion that my writing's not that serious. unless it is? idk i'm not sure how to describe my writing in terms of its vibes.

(list of fic writer asks, ahaha bug me ab my wips)

[melis-writes]

i need your cognizance … im kind of new to the al pacino fandom and ive binged watched his filmography in over 3 days and i LOOOOVED EVERYTHINGGGG but mostly just staring at his gorgeous faaaace (im rolling my eyes and biting my fist as i type this)😮‍💨🥵😩 but im rlly having trouble finding my footing with the elephant in the room … and that is him having a baby at his present age and dating a woman 50+ yrs his junior… like im in too deep now, i just watched his nypd episode and that’s how far ive already went😭(not complaining👀) but im also at this stage where idk what or how to feel about him doing that. obviously ive acquired an above-average-more-than-wikipedia knowledge about him (i like him a normal amount, trust me) and i won’t willfully overlook the fact that he’s kind of a womanizer and one that is commitment-phobe, so i guess him having new girlfriends isn’t out of the blue but to date someone THAT young? like that could be ur daughter😭 in fact his eldest daughter is a few yrs older than his current gf

anyway what im rlly trying to say is, i need u to weigh in on this and pls tell me ur opinion. ive read ur impressive work and it encouraged and inspired me to read the godfather as a book, and not just settle on watching it. and with that in mind i thought u were the right person to provide insight on this. as u can see i love al so much, im actually thinking of making myself a bday cake with his picture on it, similar to a pic i reblogged a few days ago, but im soooo conflicted on this. like i truly am. i know it’s bad to have parasocial relationships w celebrities (especially younger versions of themselves OMG) (but im rlly not i just love him sm and admire him) but im at this phase where im afraid that finding out more of his humanly desires would disappoint me? and yes ppl might say i shld avoid putting celebrities on a pedestal bc they rlly dont give a fuck abt who u are😵‍💫 and i would definitely love to be one of those ppl that could simultaneously admire a person for their achievements and recognize their kind behavior but also acknowledge their wrongdoings … but if i do that isn’t it kind of telling on my end, of my behavior and shaky moral compass😫? or, now that im in too deep, maybe im just trying to maintain this idealized version of him in my head and this is simply a reality i refuse to accept😭? bc honestly when the news broke out a lot of ppl were divided, with most responses pandering to eerie and just odd reactions, but a small minority claims a different take, along the lines of ‘if two consenting adults wanna make a family then why not’ and this rlly bugs me bc ??? apart from it being an awfully lazy analysis there’s just SOO much to unpack about this situation. like theres just way too many layers and there’s nuances too. one of the replies actually said men at the age of 60 should already be neutered to prevent from procreating ever again and why i kinda agree to it ?? 😶 like im so conflicted … like i rlly am … this is eating me out and consuming me i honestly dont know what to do.

anyway IM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING AND FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS … im sorry for the overcomplication … pls take ur time in answering this im rlly sorry id rlly appreciate ur stance on this … I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH IT KEEPS ME SANE. especially with the gifs🥰🥰🥰🥰 bc of u i still get to fuel my indulgences. THANK YOU

Ah my dear, welcome to the Pacino fandom, first of all. 🤣❤️ We Pacino girlies welcome you with open arms here lmao I know exactly how that intense ass Pacino brainrot can hit and how hard too. 🥵

You're right first of all about the fact that there's a lot to unpack beyond the "it's two consenting adults in a relationship" piece but here's the thing, it's not meant for us to unpack. At the end of the day, all we can do is hear news, gossip and read articles about Al's relationship and this and that but we don't know how much of it is actually true and what's really going on, and we can't know. It really has nothing to do with any of us, and those two don't care what the public think either. It's Al and his gf's private life and judging on how shit broke out, they seem to have a lot more to worry about on their plate than anyone else's reactions.

Al is basically a womanizer from what I've read lmao. He always really has been and I know things obviously changed when he got older but an early article that came out saying Al and his gf are dating mentioned the age gap doesn't bother either of them and his gf has dated men around the same age and even older than Al. This is their personal and private life, after all. Men can have children at a very old age, this is just how science works lmao although it can be baffling at 80+, it's still a thing. From what the gossip online says, it looks like this was an unplanned thing and Al isn't doing so good. He doesn't seem to be jumping over the moon about everything from what I read either. I think this is hard for him, tbh.

And some people may think it's weird someone as old as Al is still having sex but given his track record, I'm not surprised at all lmao. To avoid disappointment from celebrity parasocial relationships and putting them on pedestals, you need to come to an understanding that you're also recognizing and putting up (in a way) their flaws on that pedestal too. Al is not a perfect human being, nobody is, but he isn't out here trying to be perfect or live up to anyone else's definitions either nor should he.

I love that you admire and love Al like the rest of us, but you also need to come to an understanding about the things he's done or said or whatnot that you don't agree with or necessarily like. He's just a human being at the end of the day, it's so complex. Don't think too hard on it, because everyone has their flaws and mistakes and as we recognize this, we can still love them for the great things they do. That's really the only thing you need to do.

I think the fandom as a whole looked way too far into this man's personal life. It does not effect us whatsoever and it's honestly none of our business. Al doesn't owe us anything and he's not trying to be a role model to us; we shouldn't be this held up about his personal life. I know it can be hard not to care, but sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.

I would also recommend reading the biography "A Life on The Wire" by Andrew Yule. It has a lot about Al's life from early days, to romance, to his personality and everything inbetween. It's seriously extremely detailed and gives you a whole new insight on just who that man is!

Feel however your heart wants to feel. You don't have to get held up in Al's personal life like others or form a strong opinion just because someone else has. Something like this doesn't need to stop you from admiring what a phenomenal actor Al is and how he's a fine ass man too. 😭

[aviangrian]

ahhh i just wanted to say i love starboy SOOO much!!!! i did not/still dont know anything about f1 but the way you write it is so easy to follow along with and read!!! i love how you write the characters, especially scar/grian/joel/lizzie, you write them so so sooo flawlessly... i love how it seems like were there with scar in the moment of everything going on and how you describe everything from his perspective. i also LOVE how you write scar and grian especially because they both seem just so *real* and *raw* and i usually never see that from fics. the way you write is just so in detail that it really allows the reader to imagine everything thats happening and i LOVEEE that!!! i also love how you write grian and mumbos friendship, like they obviously care about each other so muchhh and i love how the readers able to see that even through scars perspective!!!!! esp the scene after grian fell asleep watching topgun and mumbo helping him lay down into a more comfortable position,,, and how they hugged when grian finally got p1 😭😭❤️ NOT TO MENTION THE LATEST CHAPTERRRR AND SCAR AND GRIANS FIRST KISS????? THAT WHOLE CHAPTER WAS GOLDDDD i loved that chapter so much,,, so much happened between grian and scar???? that scene of them in the club??? scar (and us) finally getting some insight to what happened in grians past from grian himself??? grian being comfortable enough with scar to actually open up to him??? AND THEM CONFESSINGGG??? ☹️☹️☹️❤️❤️❤️ might be my fav chapter if im being honest

i also just wanted to ask a few questions while i was here though;

first, do you have a set upload schedule? or is it like a whenever you have time to work on it thing?

second, do you think youll be posting more content abt this au after starboy is finished? like a grians pov or something? ive become so interested in this au because i can tell so much work has been put into it and id love to see more it!!

lastly, is this going to be an eventual mumscarian fic??? i think its obvious Somethings going on/has happened between grian and mumbo but i just dont know What... like that one scene with them all at the dinner??? or the car scene with grian standing up through the sunroof???

i cant wait to read more chapters!!! but im also scared As Hell because SO much has happened already and its only been 6 chapters. we still have 5 more longgg chapters left and im so scared but also excited for how things are going to go... i hope youre having a good day, i cant wait to see what you have in store for this story!!! 🫶🫶 sawrry that this was a lot of rambling though,,, 😭😭❤️

anon i’m crying?? 😭 thank you so much.

the goal of the fic is real and raw! it’s an unusual setting (maybe not for me considering this is my second racing centric fic) but everything that happens is a product of the environment! the wins from his own team left scar feeling bitter at times, but watching grian win had him so proud he knew he’d get in trouble w his own team if he showed it lol. it’s all about where they are and it makes me sooo happy (like you would not believe) when people who aren’t f1/sports fan still enjoy the fic!

last ch was a lot and contained a lot of really vital stuff that i couldn’t wait to see the reactions of. grian finally opening up is so important to me and scar letting it happen in its own time is a huge part of why grian begins letting him in, which is evidently not something he’s used to at all. mans has been through it in this universe

as for the questions: i don’t have an upload schedule but i try to churn out the chs when i have time. it fits that valentine’s was right before midterms season for me so i got to get something out before i get swamped by all that 🥲 i don’t like to let a full month go by without posting but we’ll see how my semester keeps going lol

and i’ve been thinking of content once i’ve finished starboy. i’ve had ideas of grian’s pov hitting all the major plot points or even a jimmy spin-off one shot but nothing is planned for now. definitely floating around in my mind

mumscarian is not the endgame but the mystery behind grian and mumbo will be revealed! grian is mysterious and mumbo being mumbo goes along w it, but it does come full circle eventually!

i didn’t even realize there’s already only 5 chs left! that’s crazy, considering how much of the story i have left!

thank you again anon, this is all very much appreciated. i love your rambling because it allowed me to ramble too haha