#might make a new one just for funsies

[sorikkung]

so if i did nsfw art of hongjoong. hypothetically. would anyone be interested in seeing it,

[kingpains]

on the bright side i’ve figured out how to make auto actions in csp and made one each for a blur/noise filter and chromatic aberration. with the goal of looking like a screenshot of something from cartoon network in the 2000s

it took So Much trial and error to get the chromatic aberration to work well but once i learned that the auto action can only happen to one layer at a time i got it down pat

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than annoy squidward day

Mutate and backup are awesome mechanics because adding abilities to things is super cool so I made another mechanic to do that

[sp1resong]

what if i made a mechanisms adaptation of razia's shadow. What then

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

[thatdammchickennugget]

Boyfriend Services

pairing - remus lupin x fem!reader

summary - remus is not your boyfriend, but he sure acts like he is

warnings - fluff, lots of teasing, slightly suggestive at the end I guess, oblivious remus and reader, drinking, sirius has a little splinter, reader has hair long enough for a ponytail and it's mentioned she's wearing a skirt once

a/n - have been spending my breaks at work writing this and now that it's finished I need something new to work on, oh noo

wordcount - 5.8k

Remus had been on the same page of his book for the last fifteen minutes, staring at the words but not actually reading them. Across from him, Sirius was slouched in an armchair, flipping absently through a magazine, and James lay sprawled out on the rug, tossing a rubber ball into the air, catching it without looking.

It was a rare, quiet night, the kind that didn’t happen often anymore. Just the three of them, hanging out and each doing their own thing, and Remus thought, rather optimistically, that maybe he’d actually be able to finish his book.

Then his phone buzzed against the armrest.

He sighed before even looking at the screen, already knowing what it was about.

‘Can you come get us? We’re a little drunk. Actually, we’re a lot drunk.’

A second later, another message popped up.

‘Lily says hi. Mary is singing. Marlene is threatening to fight a bouncer for funsies.’

Remus scrubbed a hand down his face. “I have to go pick up the girls,” he announced, already reaching for his jacket.

James and Sirius exchanged looks, their smirks identical.

“Ah, yes,” Sirius drawled, tossing his magazine aside. “The ever-dedicated boyfriend service strikes again.”

“Not her boyfriend,” Remus muttered, shoving his arms into his jacket.

“Yeah, yeah, tell that to literally anyone else,” James said, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “So, remind me—who always goes to pick her up when she’s drunk?”

“That’s just being a good friend,” Remus countered, shoving his feet into his trainers.

“Oh, absolutely,” Sirius said. “And who, without fail, delivers her coffee every morning like a personal barista?”

Remus sighed. “She’s incapable of making coffee without nearly setting something on fire.”

James grinned, stretching like a cat. “Right. And who, without hesitation, gives up his hoodie the second she even looks like she might be cold?”

“That’s—” Remus paused, narrowing his eyes. “That’s what friends do.”

“Sure,” Sirius said, nodding sagely. “And I suppose all of this is entirely platonic? Completely devoid of any feelings whatsoever?”

Remus grabbed his keys. “That’s exactly right.”

James sat up properly, grinning in that insufferable way he did when he knew he was right about something. “Mate, if you were any further in denial, you’d be living in Egypt.”

Sirius gasped dramatically. “Prongs, that was actually a good one. I’m proud.”

“Thank you, thank you,” James said, bowing from his position on the floor.

Remus rolled his eyes, flipping them both off as he headed for the door. “Mock all you want, but I’d rather she get home safe than let her stumble into some dodgy cab with a questionable driver.”

James clutched his chest. “He’s so noble.”

Sirius sniffled. “It’s beautiful, really.”

Remus slammed the door behind him.

Sirius turned to James. “He’s in love with her.”

James nodded. “Hopelessly.”

Sirius stretched, settling back in his chair. “D’you reckon he’ll figure it out before she does?”

James snorted. “Not a chance.”

.・。.・゜✭・.

The pub was packed, bodies spilling out onto the pavement, the sound of laughter and bad karaoke carrying over the buzz of traffic. Remus parked as close as he could without the risk of getting towed and sighed, already bracing himself for whatever chaos awaited him inside.

Finding them wasn’t hard.

Marlene was standing on top of a booth, arms spread like she was about to deliver a sermon, while Lily and Mary cheered her on. You sat curled up in the corner of the booth, head resting against Lily’s shoulder, scrolling absentmindedly on your phone.

You looked up at him as he apprached and grinned. “Oh, our knight in shining armour has arrived.”

Marlene gasped, almost toppling from the booth. “A knight! Have you come to sweep me off my feet, good sir?”

Remus sighed. “I have come to take you all home before you get banned from yet another pub.”

Mary scoffed, throwing an arm around Marlene’s legs to keep her steady. “First of all, that bouncer deserved to be told off. Second, we weren’t banned, we just aren’t welcome back for a while.”

“Tomato, tomahto,” Lily muttered, rubbing at her temples.

Remus rubbed a hand down his face. “Alright, everyone up. Let’s go.”

It took ten more minutes, one near fistfight (Marlene again), and a lot of herding, but eventually, everyone was packed into his car.

And then the real trouble started.

Marlene took it upon herself to be the DJ, insisting on playing the most dramatic breakup songs she could find, which led to Lily passionately singing along despite not being in any kind of breakup.

Mary, sitting in the front seat, took it upon herself to be the in-car commentator.

“She’s feeling this one, Remus. Look at her. That’s a woman in pain.”

“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUUUUU,” Lily belted, clutching your arm like she was singing to her lost love.

Remus sighed. “Lily, you’ve been dating James for three years.”

“She’s just being supportive,” you giggled, head lolling against the window.

Mary sighed wistfully. “Women supporting women.”

Lily turned to Marlene and pointed. “Play Driver’s License next.”

“No,” Remus said immediately.

You laughed, head tipping back against the seat. “You’re such a buzzkill, Moony.”

“Yeah?” Remus glanced at you in the rearview mirror. “And yet I’m still the one you lot call when you need a ride home. You know, Lily could ask James once in a while.”

“We’d be safer driving drunk than with James behind the wheel. Also, we love you,” Marlene declared, dramatically reaching forward to pat his head, missing entirely and smacking the side of his face instead.

“Brilliant. Thank you for that.”

Marlene just grinned, utterly unrepentant.

One by one, he dropped them off. Marlene first, then Mary, then Lily, who made him promise to tell James she loved him before dramatically throwing herself out of the car.

Finally, it was just him and you.

The silence, after all the chaos and the near accident that was you climbing over the console and into the passenger seat, was almost jarring.

He glanced at you as he pulled onto your street. You were watching the streetlights blur past, face lit up soft and golden, that faraway look in your eyes that told him you weren’t ready for the night to be over yet.

Turning to him, your lips slightly parted as if you were debating saying something.

Finally, you sighed. “I don’t really feel like being alone yet. Or going to bed.”

Remus didn’t even hesitate. Without a word, he turned the wheel and made a left instead of a right, turning back onto the main street to drive to his own flat.

“Little warning, Sirius and James are there,” he said.

You grinned. “You don’t think they’ll be mad about you bringing home a stray?”

“First of all, you’re hardly a stray,” he said dryly. “Second, if you bring food, they won’t care.”

Gasping dramatically, you leaned over to him. “Remus John Lupin, are you suggesting we stop for snacks?”

“I’m suggesting you stop for snacks, since you’re the one who always convinces me to do this.”

You beamed, triumphant. “McDonald’s.”

“You just at least a bottle of wine and probably a lot of questionable cocktails, and you want chicken nuggets?”

A offended hand found it’s place over your heart. “Do not speak ill of the nugget.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “Fine. Nuggets it is.”

He pulled into the drive-thru, you practically bouncing in your seat as you rolled the window down before he even stopped.

“Hi! Can we please get a twenty-piece nugget?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Just twenty?”

You turned, eyes wide with betrayal. “I don’t need your judgement right now, Remus.”

He snorted. “Make it forty,” he told the drive-thru speaker.

The poor teenager working the late-night shift barely sounded fazed. “Sauce?”

“All of them,” you declared. “And also add two large fries, please.”

By the time you pulled up to his flat, you had already broken into the bag, happily munching away on soggy french-fries.

Sirius and James were waiting when you walked in, both looking up from the couch with matching grins.

“You brought food,” James said, delighted.

Sirius held out his hands. “Come to me, my sweet, greasy love.”

You smirked, holding the bag just out of reach. “Hmm. I don’t know. Remus drove. Maybe he should get first pick.”

Sirius turned on Remus immediately. “I always knew you were her favourite.”

Remus sighed. “It’s too late for this.”

“Wrong,” Sirius said, digging into the bag. “It’s the perfect time for this.”

Curling up on the couch next to Remus, you cradled a nugget in one hand, the other wrapped around his arm as you settled in.

And honestly? He didn’t mind.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Sirius and James left sometime around three in the morning, after Sirius nearly fell asleep mid-sentence and James started talking about how he could "definitely beat a bear in a fight" if he "had a solid plan and at least three days of preparation." Remus shoved them both toward the door with a tired sigh, making sure James had his shoes on the right feet and that Sirius actually took his keys with him.

Now, it was just the two of you.

You were slumped on the couch, a half-eaten nugget still clutched in your hand, your head lolling against the back cushion. Your eyes fluttered open when Remus sat down next to you.

He nudged your knee. "C'mon, let's get you to bed before you fall asleep with that thing in your hand."

You blinked down at the nugget. "I wasn’t finished with it."

Remus plucked it from your fingers and set it in the box before pulling you to your feet. "You can finish it in the morning."

Your legs wobbled, and before he could even react, you tripped over your own feet and practically collapsed against his chest.

"Alright, that’s enough of that," he muttered, hooking an arm around your waist and steering you toward his bedroom. "You’re a hazard."

You giggled sleepily, resting most of your weight against him. "You take such good care of me, Moony."

"Someone has to," he said, half-carrying you down the hallway.

The second you saw his bed, you practically melted. You fell face-first onto the mattress with a happy sigh, kicking off your shoes but making no move to change out of your going out clothes.

Remus sighed. "You need to change."

"Mmm, don’t wanna."

"Yeah? Well, you can’t sleep in a sequin skirt."

You groaned dramatically into the pillow. "Ugh, fine. But you have to help me."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You’re really making me do this, huh?"

You peeked up at him, smiling innocently. "Please?"

With a long-suffering sigh, he moved to his dresser, opening the bottom drawer—your drawer.

That realization hit him like a brick to the chest.

He had an entire drawer of your clothes at his flat.

T-shirts, sweaters, pajama shorts—hell, even a pair of fuzzy socks you always insisted were "the superior socks."

And somehow, he had never really thought about it. Never thought about how that probably wasn’t a normal friend thing.

Shaking the thought away, he grabbed one of his old sweaters you had claimed as your own and a pair of soft shorts before turning back to you. "Alright, sit up."

You did so, though sluggishly, letting him pull your shirt over your head. He didn’t let himself linger, keeping his movements brisk as he slipped the sweater over you. The skirt came next, and he averted his eyes as he guided the shorts up your legs.

When you were finally dressed in sleep appropriate clothes, you flopped back onto the bed, snuggling into the pillow with a sleepy hum. "So comfy."

Remus huffed a laugh, pulling the blanket over you. "Yeah, yeah."

You cracked an eye open. "Aren’t you getting in?"

He hesitated. Maybe he had let James and Sirius get into his head after all. Since when did he care about sleeping next to you? "I was gonna sleep on the couch."

You frowned, reaching out to grab his wrist. "Remus, if you think I’m letting you sleep on that lumpy couch just because I took your bed, you’re dead wrong. Get in."

It wasn’t like he hadn’t slept beside you before. It had happened plenty of times—movie nights, late-night study sessions that ended in accidental naps.

So he sighed and gave in, sliding under the covers beside you.

The second he settled, you curled into his side, throwing an arm around his middle and burying your face against his chest.

And that—that wasn’t something friends did.

Remus swallowed, heart hammering just a little too hard as he let himself relax against you.

"Night, Moony," you mumbled sleepily.

He closed his eyes.

"Night, love."

.・。.・゜✭・.

“This is agony. Pure, unfiltered agony.”

Sirius was sprawled across the couch like a Victorian child on his deathbed, his injured hand held aloft as if it were something far more grievous than a tiny splinter in his palm.

"You’ll live," you muttered, perched on the armrest, tweezers in hand. "Hold still."

"Hold still, she says. As if she isn’t actively torturing me."

"You are so dramatic," Remus said, not looking up from his book.

James, lounging on the floor again, smirked. "I dunno, Moony. Looks pretty serious. Might have to amputate."

Sirius gasped. "Not helping, Prongs!"

You sighed, brushing your hair back as you leaned in, squinting at the tiny sliver of wood embedded in his skin.

It fell right back into your face.

You huffed in frustration, pushing it back again, only for it to slip forward once more.

Remus reached out without even looking up from his book, gathering your hair in one hand and twisting it into a ponytail with an ease that could only come from far too much practice.

He secured it with the hair tie you always kept around your wrist, giving it a gentle tug to make sure it held.

"Better?" he asked absently.

You blinked, momentarily caught off guard before nodding. "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

Remus hummed in response, eyes still scanning the page in front of him.

It took him exactly three more seconds to realize the room had gone dead silent. He looked up.

James and Sirius were already smirking, which was expected but never a good sign.

What was not expected was the rest of the room.

Lily, Marlene, Mary, and Mary all sat watching him with varying degrees of amusement and satisfaction, as if he had just proven some long-running theory correct.

Mary, taking a slow sip from her drink, arched an eyebrow. "That was interesting."

Marlene snorted. "Oh, so interesting."

Lily and Mary exchanged looks, trying — and failing — to suppress their grins.

Remus frowned. "What?"

James sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

Remus turned to you for support, but you were just staring at him, expression unreadable.

"Can I just say," Sirius said, voice far too pleased, "watching you do that was infuriatingly domestic."

Remus felt a warmth creep up the back of his neck. "What? It’s not weird. I’ve done it before."

"Exactly," Lily said, eyes twinkling.

Remus opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Because, well.

They weren’t wrong.

And that was a problem.

Because if everyone else could see it—if it was that obvious—then maybe, he wasn’t as subtle as he thought.

And maybe, just maybe…

He wasn’t as platonic as he thought, either.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Later that night, the group spilled out onto the pavement, shoving and laughing as they made their way toward Remus’ car. The plan was simple: pub, drinks, and probably more poor decisions than anyone was willing to acknowledge.

The second they stepped outside, Sirius bolted for the passenger seat.

He didn’t make it.

Just as he reached for the door handle, Remus grabbed the back of his jacket, yanking him to a halt with practiced ease.

"Oi!" Sirius squawked, flailing as he stumbled back. "What the hell, Moony?"

Remus didn’t answer. He just reached past him, pulled the door open, and—without even looking—gestured for you to get in.

You grinned, sending Sirius a smug look as you slid into your usual spot.

Sirius threw his hands in the air. "This is blatant favoritism!"

"Yeah, and?" Remus said flatly, shutting the door behind you.

Sirius turned to the group for backup, waving a dramatic hand at the car. "Do you see this? She always gets to ride shotgun! It’s never my turn!"

"You’re not wrong," Marlene mused, crossing her arms.

James snorted. "Yeah, but it’s also never going to be your turn, mate."

Sirius gasped, clutching his chest like he’d been personally betrayed. "Et tu, Prongs?"

"Look, Pads," Lily said, biting back a laugh. "You can either sit in the back like a good boy or walk to the pub yourself."

Sirius whirled back to Remus. "This is so unfair. I called it!"

"You ran for it," Remus corrected, shoving his hands into his pockets. "And that’s where you went wrong."

Dorcas smirked. "You should know by now, Black—calling it doesn’t matter."

Sirius huffed, eyes narrowing. "You all suck."

"Cool," Mary said. "Get in the car."

With much grumbling, and one final glare in your direction, Sirius finally relented, dramatically throwing himself into the backseat.

As Remus slid into the driver’s seat, you shot him a look. "That was a little mean."

He just shrugged. "He’ll live."

From the back, Sirius groaned. "I won’t live. I’ll never recover from this injustice."

James clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Tough break, mate."

.・。.・゜✭・.

The pub was packed as usual, the dim lighting and rowdy chatter filling the air with a familiar buzz. Remus had already claimed his usual spot at the table, perched in the corner with Sirius and James, both of them in their own little world, arguing over something Remus was sure related to sports. You had, of course, wandered up to the bar to order the next round for everyone.

Remus watched you from across the room, the way your head tipped back in a laugh, your eyes catching the light as you exchanged words with the bartender. His gaze was a little more than casual, his thoughts drifting in a comfortable haze. He always liked watching you, particularly when you were in your element, laughing, talking, just being... well, you.

But then, his attention snapped to focus when he saw a man sidling up to you, too close for comfort. The guy was grinning like he’d just hit the jackpot, his breath a little too close to your ear as he leaned in, probably to say something that was meant to be flirtatious but came off as a bit off.

Remus’ muscles tensed immediately.

You shifted uncomfortably, visibly inching away from the man, but he didn’t seem to get the hint. Your polite smile was beginning to falter, a hint of unease flickering in your eyes. That was all Remus needed to see. Without another thought, he pushed himself out of his chair and made his way over to you.

He wasn’t sure what exactly made him move so quickly—maybe it was the protective instinct kicking in, or maybe it was the fact that the guy was making you uncomfortable, and that was something he wouldn’t stand for.

As he approached, the man didn’t even notice Remus’ presence until he was right there, standing between you two. Remus didn’t say a word at first, but he subtly placed a hand on the counter next to you, creating a barrier between you and the man. The guy glanced at him, then looked back at you, confusion in his eyes as if he couldn’t figure out what just happened.

“I think she’s had enough of your company,” Remus said, his tone easy but firm, the kind that brooked no argument.

You blinked at him, a little surprised, but relieved. "Oh, hey, Remus."

The guy let out a quiet huff, clearly not pleased with being interrupted, but Remus didn’t care. He didn’t even look at the man, instead keeping his focus on you. "You good?"

You gave him a grateful smile, though there was still a trace of tension in your shoulders. "Yeah, I was just trying to get the drinks sorted, but…" You trailed off with a small sigh. "Some people don’t take the hint."

Remus nodded, his expression softening as he gave you a quick once-over to make sure you were really alright. His hand on the bar tightened for a second before he stepped back, allowing the man to sulk off into the crowd, clearly outmatched.

As the guy retreated, Remus turned to you, eyebrow raised, as if to say Well?

You exhaled slowly, letting the tension roll off your shoulders. "I think I’m fine now. Thanks." Your smile was genuine, though a little shy.

“No problem,” he said with a small nod. “You’re always welcome to call on me for a rescue mission.”

Your grin widened. "I’ll keep that in mind."

A few steps behind, Sirius and James had been watching the entire exchange, both of them wearing identical, knowing smirks.

Sirius leaned toward James, his voice just loud enough for Remus to hear as he returned to the table, carrying the tray of drinks you had ordered. “There it is.”

James, his gaze lingering on Remus, nodded with a grin. “Yeah, he just can’t help himself.”

Sirius leaned back in his chair, his grin only widening as he shot Remus a look.

Remus didn’t bother to engage. He just shook his head, taking a swig from his new drink, trying to ignore the persistent smirks from his friends. The truth was, he didn’t really care. You were safe, and that was all that mattered.

You took a sip of your drink, then shot a look toward Sirius and James. "You guys are awful."

James held his hands up in mock defense. "We’re just here to witness greatness. You know, like when someone becomes a knight in shining armor."

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Please. I don’t need you two bringing it up all night.”

Sirius pouted. "Ah, come on, it’s cute."

Remus, from across the table, rolled his eyes. He was alright with them mocking him all they want, but he didn’t want you to have to endure it as well. "Can you let it go?”

The two of them just grinned at each other knowingly.

But Remus couldn’t help the way his chest felt just a little warmer as he glanced at you, still sipping your drink and trying to ignore the teasing from his friends.

He’d protect you, of course. That was easy. What he hadn’t anticipated was how much more complicated this was becoming.

.・。.・゜✭・.

It was one of those rare, easy afternoons when the group of friends were all gathered at Sirius' place, the kind of lazy Saturday that was long overdue. James and Sirius were already in the middle of a heated round of Just Dance, their movements wildly exaggerated and completely offbeat. You and Remus were seated on the couch, taking the position of amused spectators.

“Come on, Moony, you’re next,” Sirius called over his shoulder, grinning as he wiped sweat off his brow after a particularly dramatic move.

Remus shook his head, arms folded across his chest. “No chance. I have no desire to make a fool of myself in front of all of you.”

You snorted. “As if you don’t already do that on a daily basis.”

“Oi, that’s a low blow,” Remus shot back, raising an eyebrow. “You sure you want to go there?”

“I’m just stating facts,” you quipped, grinning as you gave him a teasing look.

“You’re just mad I’m better at trivia than you,” Remus smirked, leaning back into the cushions.

“Please,” you scoffed. “You only win because I let you. This is the same reason you won’t play Just Dance—it’s all about your fragile ego, isn’t it?”

“Oh, we’re bringing up ego now, are we?” Remus shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Let me guess, you’re some sort of dancing queen, huh?”

“I’d wipe the floor with you,” you said, giving him a playful side-eye.

Sirius, overhearing the conversation, turned to James, who was still trying to keep up with the overly energetic moves on the screen. “I’m pretty sure Remus is just scared he’ll lose to you. He knows he’s got no rhythm.”

“Rhythm?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “You’re calling me out for not having rhythm? Have you seen you two dance? It’s like watching a pair of drunk flamingos try to navigate a minefield.”

James laughed, not missing a beat. “Hey, at least we’re trying! You’re over here acting like you’re too good for it. You’ve got no excuse, mate.”

“Fine,” Remus grumbled, tossing his book aside. “But if I embarrass myself, I’m blaming all of you.”

You threw your hands up in mock surrender. “We’ll take full responsibility for your impending humiliation.”

As the game began, you danced with all the enthusiasm you could muster, putting on a surprisingly good show. Remus, reluctantly, followed suit, stepping into the designated space with all the grace of a confused moose. It didn’t take long before Sirius was practically throwing himself into the performance, determined to win.

Then it was your turn again, and Sirius was having none of it. His moves were exaggerated, clearly intended to throw you off, and, with a dramatic flourish, he ended up winning the round. He let out a victorious whoop, grinning widely.

“Take that!” Sirius laughed, pumping his fist into the air. “Who’s the champion now?”

You shot him a mock glare, shaking your head. “You’ve had your fun. Enjoy it while it lasts, Pads.”

“Well, I won’t say no to some well-deserved praise,” Sirius smirked, and before you could protest, he added, “You know, maybe you should just give up now. We all know you don’t have the skills to beat me.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Remus said, his voice calm but firm. “Don’t push it, Pads.”

Sirius looked at him, blinking in surprise. “What, you’re going to defend her now?” he teased, but Remus didn’t bite.

“No, I’m just saying—stop,” Remus said, his tone low, eyes flicking between Sirius and you. “Only I get to make fun of her. Got it?”

The room went silent for a moment. Sirius stared at him, a slight frown on his face, as though weighing his words carefully. Then, in a move that surprised everyone—including Remus—Sirius stood up and clapped his hands together.

“Right. I’ve had enough of this,” he said, his voice suddenly serious. “You two are so obviously hopeless that I can’t even look at you without wanting to throw something.”

Before anyone could react, Sirius grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him toward the hallway.

“What the hell—” Remus protested, though his voice was more confused than angry.

“Nope. Not happening,” Sirius said with a grin. “James! Get in here! I need backup!”

James, who had been leaning against the wall with an amused grin, snapped to attention at the command. “On it!” He quickly moved toward you, grabbing you with surprising gentleness. “Time for an intervention.”

You blinked, caught completely off guard. “Wait, what are you—?”

Before you could finish the sentence, both James and Sirius had shoved you and Remus into the bathroom and locked the door behind you.

“Oi!” you shouted, banging on the door. “What’s going on?!”

From the other side, you heard Sirius’ voice, full of exasperation. “We’re not letting you two out until you finally figure it out. You’re both being ridiculous.”

“You can’t be serious,” Remus called back, his tone slightly panicked. “Let us out!”

“Not until you two finally get over yourselves and make out,” James yelled from the hallway.

You blinked at Remus, utterly speechless. “They can’t be serious… right?”

Remus let out a groan of frustration, running a hand through his hair. “Unfortunately, I think they are.”

You gave him a sheepish smile. “Well… seems like we’re stuck here until they get bored.”

His eyes softened slightly as he looked at you. “Yeah, guess so.”

The two of you stood there for a few moments in the tiny bathroom, the silence hanging between you. Outside the door, you could hear Sirius and James laughing, clearly enjoying the chaos they’d caused, but you and Remus were left in an awkward limbo.

“So,” you started, trying to break the tension, “what exactly is going on here? What are they on about?”

Remus sighed, leaning back against the sink. He seemed hesitant, like he wasn’t sure how to even begin explaining, but eventually, he rubbed the back of his neck. “You know how they always tease me about… well, us?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, but that’s nothing new. They tease you about everything.”

“True,” he muttered, looking uncomfortable. “But lately, they’ve been—well, they’ve been noticing... things. Little things, I guess.” His eyes flicked to yours, then away. “Like the way I treat you... and the way you treat me.”

You blinked, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well,” he started slowly, clearly unsure of how to phrase it, “Sirius and James—they’ve noticed that I do... well, things for you. Like... I look out for you a lot more than I do anyone else. And you do the same for me. They started calling it... ‘boyfriend services,’ I guess.” He winced at the words as though they left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Boyfriend services?” you repeated, trying not to laugh. “And what exactly does that entail?”

Remus ran a hand through his hair again, clearly uncomfortable. “You know... like when I make sure you get home safe, or how I always make sure you have something to drink, or how I keep an eye out for you when we’re out and about. And you, well… you do similar things for me. It’s like… I don’t know. They see it as us giving each other the ‘girlfriend and boyfriend treatment,’ except, neither of us is actually calling it anything.”

You stood there, processing this for a moment. “Wait… so you’re telling me we’re both just doing these things for each other because we’re, what, friends? Or is there more to it than that?”

“Well, it’s kind of funny,” you said with a small, teasing smile. “All this time, I’ve been wondering when you were going to finally ask me out, and here we are, locked in a bathroom with your friends demanding we ‘make out’ because we’re already acting like a couple.”

Remus blinked, looking at you like you’d just said something utterly absurd. “Wait… you—you were waiting for me to ask you out?”

“Yeah, well,” you shrugged, a little sheepish now, “I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Remus’s face turned a shade darker, and for a moment, he seemed speechless, as if the world had suddenly spun out of his control. “You… you’d actually be okay with that? With me? With—” He faltered, his voice cracking slightly. “I mean, I don’t want to make things awkward, or—”

You held up a hand, cutting him off. “Remus,” you said, your voice soft but sure. “It’s only awkward because we’re making it awkward. I wouldn’t mind the girlfriend title at all.”

The words hung in the air, a heavy silence between you two as you watched his face shift from stunned confusion to something much softer, something vulnerable. His lips parted as if he had more to say, but nothing came out. For a long moment, neither of you spoke.

Finally, he let out a breath and stepped closer, his hand tentatively reaching for yours. “You really mean that?”

You nodded, your heart beating faster now. “Yeah. I do.”

Remus smiled, but it wasn’t the usual cheeky grin you were used to. It was different, softer—like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Well… I guess that makes two of us then.”

Before you could respond, there was a sudden banging on the door.

“Oi!” Sirius shouted from the other side. “Enough of this sappy stuff! We’ve had enough of the ‘will-they-won’t-they’. Kiss already!”

You shot a look at Remus, who was clearly trying to hide his smirk behind a hand. “I think they’re getting impatient,” you said with a dry laugh.

Remus just shook his head. “Those two are insufferable.”

With that, he leaned in, slowly, his breath warm on your face. His hand gently cupped your cheek, and for a split second, it felt like the world had come to a halt. Then, with a soft, tentative smile, he kissed you.

The kiss was gentle, hesitant at first, as if both of you were testing the waters. But the longer it lasted, the more natural it felt, until the world outside of the bathroom ceased to exist. It was just the two of you, finally figuring things out.

And, of course, the moment was interrupted by loud knocking and shouts of “We can’t hear you over here, make it louder!” from Sirius.

Remus groaned into the kiss, pulling away for a brief moment, his forehead resting against yours. “I swear, when I get out of here, I’m going to kill them.”

You chuckled softly, your fingers still resting lightly on his chest. “You’ll have time for that later,” you teased, a playful grin tugging at the corners of your mouth as you leaned in to kiss him again.

His lips quirked into a smile before he kissed you back, his grip tightening around your waist.

The loud thuds from outside the bathroom door grew more frantic, with Sirius's voice ringing through the wood, “Oi! We’re not letting you out until we hear more action in there, Moony!”

You pulled away from Remus, shaking your head with a laugh. “They’re relentless.”

Remus grinned, his eyes gleaming with a mix of affection and exasperation. “You have no idea.”

“Remus,” you said, your tone teasing as you stepped back just slightly, “I think they’re enjoying this a bit too much.”

He sighed dramatically, his hand still resting on your waist as he glanced toward the door. “If I wasn’t so in love with you right now, I’d be plotting my revenge on them. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, a soft sound that made his heart skip a beat. “Well, looks like you’re stuck with me for now, love,” you said, your voice low and playful. “And, as much as I’d like to torture them, I’m pretty sure they’ll never let us out unless we give them exactly what they want.”

Remus gave you a look, his eyes narrowing in mock suspicion. “Are you trying to say that we’re going to have to... satisfy them?”

“Hmm,” you hummed, pretending to consider the suggestion.

Remus smiled at you, the tension that had been building up between you two melting away into something simpler, sweeter. “You know, I think I can handle that.”

Masterlist

Requesting Guidelines

[webbluvrsugar]

earlyseasons!spencer making you squirt.

cw: doesn’t mean sub!spencer, it’s more like eager Spencer experimenting on reader, written mostly for funsies.

Every since you and Spencer have been messing — fucking — around, you’ve noticed that he’s been a little shy, at least at first, his touch has been gentle but also… experimental, the way he looks at you when you’re under him and pushes you just a little harder almost makes you feel like like he’s studying you, testing something on you. But he’s a profiler, he’s learned that you don’t mind, so when he comes with the proposition of trying to make you squirt, you’re doubtful, specially as he pushes you down on your bed — already naked.

“Spencer, you don’t really need to do this, I —“ you try to speak but he’s quick to interrupt you, his hands running down your thighs.

“I know, I just.. I just want to try something new, just for a bit,” he hushes, eyes looking up to you for approval as he puts away his glasses and when Spencer says ‘just for a bit�� he is indeed just… lying, lying to your face.

His tongue licks a fat strip up your folds, it’s bold, something that he’d at first would hesitate to do, gently circling your clit before he attaches his lips onto it, gently sucks and his fingers go up to spread you further.

Spencer’s tongue feels good, but by now, you know that he would’ve already tried to stick a finger or two in you, but he doesn’t, it almost seems like he’s trying to reach this personal goal of his all with his mouth, and he’s doing a good job at it, because his tongue prods at your entrance and you arch your back, softly moaning, head throwing back and meeting your pillow.

“How does that feel?” He questions as if you need to answer for him to know it.

But still, you nod again, “Good,” you whisper, hand going down to grab at the sheets.

“Yeah, I can tell.” He grins, cocky, before his mouth latches onto your cunt again.

He devours you, nose bumping into your clit as his tongue precisely chooses where to run through, your breath being taken from your lungs when it caresses your insides one more time, the warm tip of the muscle moving within you.

“Spence,” you whimper, your knees struggling to keep themselves in place as he pulls back and pays attention to your swollen pearl one more time.

“Close?” He asks, tongue licking up a few more times through your folds, trying to get all up in there.

“Mh — Mhm,” you moan, a pleased sigh following suit.

“Did you know that —“ he pauses, “statistically, only thirty-five to fifty percent of women have experienced squirting mid sex—“ he presses an open mouthed kiss to your cunt. “But it depends on the method, I’ve read about it, we can try and see if this will be the one for you.”

And for someone who’s so used to talking, Spencer finally goes to quiet after a while and focus on your pussy, paying extra attention to what you like, guiding himself with your moans and gentle curses.

“Spence—“ with that, he thinks this really might be his chance of getting you to do it the first try, so his lips wrap around your clit one last time, only letting go when he hears a hushed cry of his name escape your lips— “Spencer!” A stream of fluid expels from you, and he watches in awe, slightly tilting his head as your body shivers and writhes right before him.

His hands gently caress your thighs, fingers letting go of your folds, his eyes finally meeting yours when you take a breath and before you can speak, he notes;

“Let’s do it again, maybe you’ll do it quicker if I actually use my fingers…”

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Lucanis (and also Spite and the Crows) gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)

Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.

Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Harding, Emmrich, Neve, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later

About Lucanis: 

Family and the past:

Lucanis learnt to cook while helping the kitchen staff at the villa when he was a little boy. One of his motivations was learning how to make churros

Side note: Lucanis mentions that cioccolata calda was his favourite drink when he was a baby, and he serves churros to a romanced Rook who picks cioccolata calda as their favourite drink. It’s all coming together! 

Lucanis wanted to be a Crow when he was a child (at least most of the time)  

All of Lucanis's relatives were Crows as well, and all of them were killed by a rival Crow house

Lucanis says Caterina would be proud of Illario hiding his plans well, as well as killing her 

Lucanis says that the hard part about setting Illario free would be convincing Caterina 

Lucanis says that nightlife was more of Illario's thing, and he never got out as much

On Crows and Antiva:

Viago still stares daggers at Lucanis for throwing his (Viago's) pet snake out of the window in a dream

Lucanis doesn't like it when people confuse murder and assassination ("Murderers are hobbyists, we are professionals")

Lucanis has taken contracts in Orlais

Lucanis doesn’t know Treviso as well as he once used to 

Heir didn’t train Lucanis

Lucanis says he has never killed an innocent “by his count” (other people may disagree) 

Lucanis doesn’t think of the Crows as a “big organisation” (unlike the Inquisition) because they stab each other too much

Lucanis became a mage-killer at Caterina’s behest (she wanted to tap into new markets)

The nickname “The Demon of Vyrantium” came from Tevinter news-sheets, though Lucanis thinks Viago started it

Lucanis says that there aren't any special tricks to killing mages. Though, if nothing else works, you can try pissing them off, as that could attract a demon that would eat the mage

Lucanis once killed half a dozen venatori while stuck inside an elevator 

Lucanis doesn’t consider himself a gentleman assassin, manners are less important than getting the job done

Lucanis sometimes spares his targets. He mentioned letting go of a servant who killed her master, as well as a 14-year-old boy. He thinks it’s wrong to kill people so young because they still have time to change

Lucanis doesn’t accept contracts without merit, and the merit is decided by the talon of the house

General:

Lucanis can make bread

Lucanis has never been to Ferelden

Lucanis isn’t interested in killing wyverns, just looking at them :)  

Lucanis has a pet snake 

Lucanis stays awake at night by cleaning his gear, exercising, studying Orlesian and knitting ("it’s just another kind of blade work") 

Lucanis doesn’t understand a lot of things people find attractive

(In a conversation with Harding) Thinking about cooking was one of the things that helped Lucanis stay sane in the Ossuary (the other was thinking about killing his enemies) 

(In a conversation with Davrin) Lucanis survived the Ossuary by shutting down and not thinking about anything except escaping

These two points sort of contradict each other. Either an inconsistency or Lucanis describing his experience differently to different people. 

The Wetlands ruined at least one pair of Lucanis’s boots

(If Rook chooses to save Treviso) Lucanis offers to pay for any supplies the Shadow Dragons may need 

Lucanis doesn't get a better bed because he's afraid of accidentally falling asleep 

Lucanis can identify the killer’s weapon and the height difference between them and the target just through the blood splatter left at the scene

Lucanis considers Grey Wardens dangerous 

Lucanis doesn’t like necromancy, because bringing people back to life is a waste of hard work

Lucanis finds the ice coffee from Minrathous offensive (Harding describes it as “snow, but made of coffee, sweet, and with cream and toffee sauce on top”)

Lucanis had never been in a romantic relationship before Rook/Neve

Relationships with other companions: 

Lucanis gets into reading Bellara’s serials (very passionately - they chat about it a bunch)

Lucanis is outraged that the Veil Jumpers don’t get paid for their work and offers Bellara his contract negotiator

Lucanis made biscuits for Assan

Lucanis is sceptical that the griffons will be safe with the Wardens

Lucanis think that Assan shouldn’t go soft (referring to the time he took care of a halla) because he is a predator at heart

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Lucanis offers to hold a funeral for Manfred

Lucanis and Harding talk a lot about dreams (mostly silly things like showing up naked for the job, getting chased by someone/something etc.)

Lucanis thinks Harding is deadly with her bow

Lucanis offers to pay Harding for being his lookout/aide at the rate of 6000 gold per contract

Lucanis offers the help of his contract negotiator to Neve after he finds out she doesn't have one

Lucanis made deep-fried peppers for Taash

About Spite: 

Emmrich can hear Spite even when he doesn’t take over Lucanis’s body (at least from a close distance)

Spite is impartial to Emmrich, believing him more than Lucanis

Emmrich says it’s impossible to separate Spite and Lucanis without killing them

Emmrich encourages Lucanis to read to Spite to bring them closer. Lucanis agrees to let Spite pick a book

(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Spite asks if he and Lucanis can get rid of their skin too 

(If Manfred is revived at the Necropolis) Spite asks Emmrich to teach him how to use fire magic. Lucanis isn’t thrilled by the idea

Emmrich sets up wards to prevent Spite from leaving the room when Lucanis is asleep

Spite no longer sleepwalks after “Inner Demons” because he apparently understood the concept of space

By the end of the game, Spite has agreed to stop sleepwalking completely

Spite controls the wings (confirmed in banter with Harding) 

Spite wants to try swinging off the astrolabe at the Lighthouse

Spite is very excited about Manfred having hands and feet (Curiosity. Has. Feet!)

Spite finds the wisps in Neve’s room unnerving (as do Lucanis and Neve)

Spite likes to play with whetstones Bellara got for Lucanis (Bellara got them from the Irelin who supposedly got them from somewhere in Arlathan) 

Spite wants to try eating self-lightning candles at Blackthorne Manor

About the Crows: 

Crows frequently visit Nevarra and have received 20 contacts to assassinate the king. The King has been poisoned 7 times

Crows get a lot of contracts for Divine Victoria

Some seers in Rivain are powerful enough that there are contracts on them as well

Caterina once killed a man with a thimble

When Crows kill someone, most of the time they want others to know it was them (rather than presenting the death as an accident) 

The crows buried six different Eight Talons and rarely take contracts in Ferelden after the Zevran fiasco

[crushpunky]

actress!reader reveals what’s on her phone

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

based loosely on the glamour interview, screen time :)

“Hello, Glamour, I’m y/n y/ln and today we are going to be digging through my phone!” Y/n sang, greeting the camera with a grin!

What’s your screen time?

“Oh my god…” Y/n groaned, running a hand down her face. “4 hours and 35 minutes.”

“That’s not too bad!” The interviewer said with a sympathetic giggle.

“Well that’s good to hear.” Y/n chuckled, swiping through her phone.

What’s the story behind your lock screen?

“Awww, it’s very cute.” Y/n said, her cheeks flushing slightly as a grin spread across her face before she held her phone up to the camera:

“So it’s a picture of me, my wonderful husband, Drew, and our dog Charleston.” Y/n couldn’t help but continue to smile at the photo and the memory of the evening. “This is at a beach in… somewhere in South Carolina, I’m not giving away our secret spot. But yeah, I think it was taken by one of Drew’s sisters and it’s just such a good memory of me and my favorite person… and Drew too.”

Y/n teased as she swiped into her phone for the next question.

How about a little tour of your camera roll?

“Ooh it’s about 90% photos of Charleston.” Y/n giggled as she scrolled through her camera roll:

“Well, we’ve got some photos from set, of course, but I can’t share those.” Y/n explained. “Lots of my friends and their dogs, Drew being a goof, some outfit photos… nothing too crazy.”

“The last picture of Drew?” The interviewer asked, referring to the meme of him she had saved on her phone:

“Oh my god I forgot I had that!” Y/n giggled, genuinely tickled by the meme her and Madelyn had stumbled across. “That’s Drew as Glinda from Wicked, of course. Doesn’t he just look so beautiful?”

Y/n quirked her brows, smiling into the camera as she held up the meme.

You’re very honest about your love of Tik Tok, would you mind sharing some of your favorites?

“We’re gonna have to dig deep into the archives… the personal collection.” Y/n teased, scrolling through her numerous saved Tik Toks.

“Well, I’m not shy to admit that I am a bit of a fangirl and do have quite a large folder of saved edits.” Y/n giggled, her cheeks flushing as her eyes landed on an especially entertaining edit of Drew. “Now I’m gonna preface that… yes, a lot of these are of Drew or myself or our characters. I can’t lie, I do have a bit of an addiction.”

As she watched it, she bit her lip and let out a flustered giggle. Behind the camera, the interviewers laughed at y/n’s reaction, causing her to scroll onto the next edit:

“Oh my god I forgot about this one!” Y/n squealed. “I was showing this one to Drew and Madelyn last night and we were in actual tears at the comments!”

“I just want to say, shout out to the editors and commentators on Tik Tok for being so unabashedly horny.” Y/n said, pointing to the camera with a cheesy grin.

What have you been listening to lately music wise?

“I mean… the people already know.” Y/n rolled her eyes playfully as she opened up her Spotify before turning it to the screen:

“I told y’all I was a Swiftie and I wasn’t lying.” Y/n raised her eyebrows as she dove further into her playlists and collections.

“Playlist wise, I have my go-to jams, showtunes, classic rock, rap and hip-hop… a little bit of everything.” Y/n smiled.

"I also like to make playlists for each of my characters," y/n explained. "It really helps me to get into the mind of the character and kind of... explore aspects of them that might not be surface level or obvious."

What’s the vibe on your Pinterest?

“Ooh yay! I love Pinterest.” Y/n squealed as she opened up Pinterest excitedly. “Pinterest is actually the most underrated app, I use it everyday for work, memes, funsies.”

“Fun fact, a lot of my nails and fashion genuinely come from Pinterest.” Y/n explained. “My stylist and I have a shared board and are constantly sharing new ideas.”

“Is your Pinterest public?” The interviewer asked, to which a mischievous grin spread across y/n’s lips.

“No it is not, I like to be at least a little bit mysterious and I feel like Pinterest is pretty personal.” Y/n nodded.

Who was the last person you texted or called?

Y/n giggled, not even needing to open the app to check as she pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Drew. He texted me right before I got here, which we always do right before either of us have an interview.” Y/n grinned, closing her phone.

“Well thank you so much for having me, Glamour, and I hope that you all enjoyed looking into the depths of my phone!” Y/n said, waving to the camera before turning to the interviewer.

“That wasn’t quite as scandalous as I thought it was going to be.” Y/n teased, winking to the camera one last time.

[yaseraphine]

pick a card 4 - your 2025 main lesson and themes.

KO-FI / MASTERLIST.

my last post : 2024, the year I lost my crown.

PILE 1

5 of cups, Page of Wands, 5 of Wands

“There are no traffic jams along the extra mile”

Main themes : Fun - Party - Getting ready - GRWM - Glow up - 5th house - Life path 5 - 2nd house - Venus and Sun - Leo energy - Taurus energy - Dating - Love - Silly crushes - Compliments - Bittersweet - Sinning - Karma - Situationship - “Toxic” relationship - Forced changes - Tower moment

As soon as I started your pile, Woman by Doja Cat started playing. This year, you will enter in your empress era. It will be soft and venusian but there is also a little edge to it, a really fiery spirit that I can feel for you . 

There is also a really sensual and luxurious energy.

I see first and foremost two fives in your spread out of the three tarot cards that fell for you : 5 will be a significant number for you this year. Maybe you’re a life path five, maybe your personal life path number this year is 5 or maybe you’re completing OR starting something this year that took 5 years to finish/ will take 5 years to finish. I am mostly picking up on the fact that this year will have patterns of a life path number 5. In numerology, a personal number year 5 is all about new adventures, discovery, being social, curious, adaptable, flexible, fearless and fun-loving. This is what your year will be all about : fun and lightheartedness. However, the number 5 is also a signifier for change... Be prepared for a busy year !

This energy feels a lot like the 5th house in astrology. You will spend your year hanging out with friends, flirting, laughing, going out and dressing up. Major Venus and Sun energy. Leo and Taurus energy. I am seeing bubble baths, extended grooming routines, new hairstyles, looking good, smelling good, gossiping,.... It is a really luxurious, sensual, lighthearted, fun and ego driven year that you will have. 

I am seeing trips to islands, vacation photos posted on social media, maybe you will start creating influencer type content this year just for the funsies. Bikini picks/flexing in front of the gym’s mirror in your insta story kinda vibe. 

You will keep up with the good habits you got in 2024 and reap the benefits of the consistency you had towards attaining your ideal self-concept (looks, mentality,..)

You will appear extremely sexually and sensually attractive and will probably attract many suitors, which will obviously flatter your ego greatly. 

 However, all this romantic/sexual attention might lead to a lot of drama and hurt feelings so be careful. People will probably only approach you because you're hot. It will not bother you in the moment (because some of you will lowkey be in your player era lmaoo i mean go ahead i am not judging lol) but it will eventually take a toll on you. I am saying this because I keep on seeing Doja Cat in the Vegas music video. You will be as stunning as she is in the video (her look was peak in this) but your attractiveness could lead you to your downfall this year... It seems that you could try to take advantage as much as you can of the new found pretty privilege you just gained from your glow up in 2024.

You will play around with your suitors, just lighthearted love energy until that one specific person that will bring a ton of drama. This suitor will end up being a major relationship/situationship/talking stage you have this year and they will be exactly like the guy Doja Cat describes in the song : 

“You ain't nothing but a-

Dog, player, ah get it

Fraud, player, ah get it

I understand, I understand

You ain't the man, you ain't a man (you ain't nothing but a-)

Hound dog, hound dog, hound dog

You ain't nothing but a-

Player gettin' valeted around in that ho whip

Two fingers up, one down when my toes ten

Flewed out with my boobs out, put a cork in it

Love it when you be cryin' out when I'm corseted

I don't think he gon' make it, do not let me start ragin'

****, I'm losin' my patience, this ain't stayin' in Vegas

(You ain't nothin' but a)

There's more sides to the story, I'ma tell everybody

Had your ass sittin' courtside with your arm around me

Had your ass sittin' first class with your burnt ass out in Abu Dhabi

Coulda been what we shoulda been

But you lost a bet, now you gotta find me

Find a seat

I ain't playin', that's hide and seek

High school when you finally peaked

Hound dog, couldn't find a treat

I'm a bad bitch, but”

This "bad relationship" will completely stop you from the high you got from your suitors and your fun filled lifestyle. You will feel betrayed and feel so stupid for trusting them.

This year, I think you will learn a major lesson about superficiality and how your looks and external validation is not what builds real confidence. 

You will start the year with a burning fire and desire to get everything you want, maybe for some to do some shady shit. For most of you, it won’t go to extremes EXTREMES but a minority of you could do stuff like taking someone’s partner, playing around, generally indulging in really “devilish” (as in The Devil in tarot) activities. Most of you though might just “stick” to less problematic activities. You might indulge in addictive behaviors like gambling, drinking, smoking all that shit you find in Vegas. Partying, Raving, just having fun and being a little careless.

I am hearing “Everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. You might surround yourself with people who do pretty shady shit (not too bad like most of you won’t end up in jail) and who have morally grey ways of thinking. You will eventually adopt this mentality/ of some of those low vibrational beliefs, but it will be for a pretty short amount of time. You might join them because you want to enter this “good girl/boy/enby gone bad” era in your life. You are probably sick of people pleasing, being tamed, being a doormat, and being played because you’re “too nice”. The problem here, and the lesson too, is that you don’t have to lose all your morals and become mean and bitter just because people did the same to you. 

“healed people hear differently”

What you will do the first half of the year, if you do not do it for the entire year, will catch up to you later on and you will be humbled quickly. Have fun until you get hit by this lesson that will come unexpectedly like a Tower moment. 

This sounds scary, I know, but you might be young or just bitter because you were always picked last your entire life and now you're finally the hottest in your vicinity so I totally understand the anger and resentment you might feel. It’s okay, it will be overall a bittersweet year for you. You will have loads of fun but will suffer the consequences of some of your actions eventually.

One quote for you : “Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.”

You are called to detach a bit from everything that is physical and factual this year. You might embody Taurusian, Virgo, Capricorn, Aries and Leo energy at the beginning of the year and will slowly follow your intuition more. The North node going in Pisces this year in January will probably impact you quite a bit. It’s the body VS the mind VS the soul. You will gradually be pushed to each part of yourself to connect them together healthily, and not overtly rely on only one.

ORACLE CARDS 

Change - I understand that nothing can grow or evolve without movement

Again, this card makes a lot of sense. A life path year number 5 is a signifier of fun and socialization but also of change. Falling into those bad habits/behaviors/mentality will be a catalyst for a change that didn’t occur last year. This change is much needed for you to develop a deep sense of self and a solid self-concept, not one that is solely based on physical attractiveness or external validation.

2. 28 - Energy / Orange (Virgo energy) : "Adventure and rapid progress are indicated, and it is specifically anchored to your true purpose and the direction you are currently taking. Oranges indicate that anything is possible, although you need to get that willpower working hard. There will be challenges but you can overcome them, and someone around you may need extra support at this time. Be wary of apathy, of losing interest too soon before giving something a chance, and of negativity”. 

“A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them” - Liberty Hyde Bailey

This year will be just like I said : bittersweet. You will have amazing moments and then lower moods where you will feel sad or betrayed. Huge theme around relationships and interpersonal relationships. Last year you focused a lot on yourself. This year, you will lose yourself in your interpersonal connections as a lesson to strengthen your self-concept. Your dedication towards creating your dream life will be tested.

Pile 2.

“Progress is still progress no matter how slow it is”

“It is never too late to be who you might have been”

Main themes : Healing - Therapy - Transformation - Friendship - Soulmate relationship - Twin flame connection - Anxiety relief - Emotional intimacy - Virgo and Pisces energies are prominent - 12th house - Acceptance - Surrendering - Salvation - Love - Spiritual love - Spiritual growth and awakening - Help - Forgiveness

I think right now you might be frustrated at yourself. You are probably prone to pretty extreme overthinking and you feel like you wasted time thinking and planning or fantasizing about doing things instead of just doing them last year. You feel like time is running out and you might be starting this year with a lot of pessimistic thoughts. It is totally normal that you feel disappointed in yourself, it shows that you care about building a life that you desire. But, you struggle with assertiveness towards what you want. You might have an idea but you always find a way of seeing how it might not work while planning for it. You tend to give up pretty easily because you want everything to be perfect. You have this mentality where everything needs to be perfect before you can share it. Here is an example : "I need to practice more before sharing my covers online I can't post it like that it's not that good". The thing is, you don't need to be perfect in something to share it or put yourself out there. You have enough talent and potential and you will learn and refine your art while you are out there in front of the public. The feedback could be really beneficial for you.

There is only you and your fear of failure that is holding you back. Have the audacity of a straight man for a second and you will see how many blessings will fall into your lap. (sorry if you're a straight man lmaoo love y'all slayy queen). You're already that bitch, you're just the only one not seeing it.

This year, you will learn a major lesson regarding forgiveness towards yourself. You will be met with similar situations as last year, however this time you will try different approaches to avoid making the same mistakes, and you will do so without insulting yourself. You will break a pretty prominent cycle that you may have been stuck in for a few years now where you are really harsh on yourself for trying and failing. This negative self-talk that is tied to worrying and overthinking is what held you back from taking proper actions towards your goals/dreams/dream life all those years. This year, you will start being more gentle towards yourself and this will benefit you a lot. 

“Actually, I am happier than ever”

12th house - Pisces energy / Virgo-Pisces axis

There is an interesting connection with pile 1 regarding pisces and virgo energy. I feel like the North node going to Pisces this 11th of January will push the collective to surrender more, be more compassionate towards themselves and others and accept that we cannot control everything. There is this sense that this year, you will finally find a way towards inner peace. It doesn’t mean that you’ll stop overthinking forever and altogether, it is simply impossible. You will just learn how to manage that overthinking, find healthy coping mechanisms that help you get you out of your head. You will accept that sometimes things happen in divine timing and that you cannot control every outcome. Any perfectionistic tendencies that you had and that often led to overthinking will be toned down this year. 

I don’t think however that this epiphany will start at the beginning of the year. You will dismantle these ingrained bad habits throughout the year, step by step, as you will face similar lessons as last year but this time you will pass every test. Just be patient with yourself and everything will flow as they should.

The Fool, 2 of Cups, King of Cups + Ace of Wands

This year is obviously a year of starting over. You will be pushed to stop taking everything so seriously and just trust your gut instinct and the universe. You might naturally embody virgo and libra/venusian qualities which make you overly critical and passive. This year, the lesson is to embody these signs’ opposites’ qualities : Pisces and Aries energy. Trust the universe and blindly and confidently walk towards the unknown. Trust yourself, you’ve got this ! 

Honestly, reading this pile is pretty fascinating because your energy is exactly in tune with this year’s astrological transits. This year, many outer planets will change signs to aries or pisces. Both signs are significant as one shows the beginning of a cycle (Aries) and the other the end of a cycle (Pisces). This is exactly this. This year for you will be a year of transition towards a new beginning.

I see in the cards that, even though you might start the journey alone, you will eventually meet a soulmate along the way as you fear-less-ly work towards this cycle's end. I am seeing that this soulmate will not be a romantic soulmate for most of you. This will most likely be a friend or a mentor that you will unexpectedly meet towards the fall time I believe . September and especially October might be a significant time for your guy’s meeting and friendship beginning. They will most likely be opposite to you in many ways (ex : you are a virgo sun, they are a pisces sun, or you are a libra sun and they are an aries sun,..). Your friendship with this person will surprise you as your current friends and/or your past friends are/were probably completely different from this person. This relationship will be a breath of fresh air for you. 

ORACLE CARDS

Self-esteem - I possess gifts of the soul that benefit me and others

Indecision - I use my intuition in all aspects of life

Trust yourself, believe in yourself. Try to listen to your intuition, find exercises to reconnect with your intuition and to learn to go with the flow.

A life changing sentence that one of my friends with an anxiety disorder told me is that “ You cannot reassure someone who is anxious”. This might resonate for some of you who struggle with anxiety. There is no way for you to get rid of this anxiety permanently but you can learn how to manage it through daily practices and exercises. This year might be the year you find a daily practice/method to help you cope healthily with your anxiety.

12 - Affection / Sorrel ( Taurus energy) : "New experiences are coming your way, which means you will feel prompted to find new ways of doing things. If you are seeking a solution, be more receptive to suggestions and openings. Ensure you are putting your true feelings into all that you are doing. A valuable proposition should come your way, but don’t get too carried away."

This is exactly what I was talking about above : you will find new healthy ways of coping with your toxic habits. This will be done through trials and errors, you will have to be resilient and willing to try again even after failing to have this new habit. But don’t worry, you can or will be able to count on the help of people, or someone around you. Just don't be afraid to ask for help, express your issues, don’t be afraid to seek help and you will be granted a helping hand that has good intentions towards you.

Pile 3.

“Normality is a paved road”

Main themes : 8th house - 10th house - Saturn - Pluto - Reputation - Money - Power - Fame - Hunger - Determination - Life path 22 - Life path 8 - Influence - Lana Del Rey , “Season of the Witch" -  Dark Femininity/Masculinity - Lilith - Reconcialiation - Soulmate reconnection - Quiet confidence

Before I even started your pile, while choosing your picture I felt called to pick one that was quite different from the other two piles. Your energy feels very different and contrasts with the rest of the reading. There is a lethal confidence about you. I have a question first though : did you pick the pile 3 in my what do people like about you reading? I don’t know why this pile’s energy keep on coming back in the 3rd pile in every single one of my readings lol

Anyways, so for this year I think you’re starting it with a clear idea in mind : you have a plan, a vision board already made. This year, you are fearlessly going towards your goals. I am seeing cheetah and leopard prints,  luxury hotels, bubbling champagne, Chanel perfume.. Most of you who chose this pile are looking to create your dream life where you’re independent. This year, “you will get that bag while also securing your own bag” I am hearing. I don't know if you watch TheWizardLiz or Manifestelle but your energy reminds me of them. Even if you're not a girl, it’s obvious that you’re entering a phase in your life where you’re self focused and tunnel visioned. You have a goal of creating your own empire and you are willing to put in the work and make the sacrifices needed for it.

This year , you are locking in. Period.

Knight of Pentacles, 4 of Swords, The World, King of Wands

“I believe that each soul has a plan - a pathway and direction - that it has come here to experience in this lifetime”

Julie Kay

This year, you will work diligently towards your goal. You might neglect your relationships a bit so be careful. Despite the fact that your spirit guides are proud of you for being so passionate and dedicated towards your dreams they still want to tell you that some of this passion needs to be poured to the people around you that supports you now and that always supported you, even at your lowest. For some of you, it’s a family member like a mother or a father, could an aunt or an uncle for others could be a sister, a brother or a grandparent for another group. 

Your assertiveness and discipline is great but do not let your heart harden too much in the process. I am seeing that during summer, especially June and August, around the Lion’s Gate portal (8th of August), you will have mini “burnouts” because of the dedication you showed the first 6 months of the year. During that time, you will reconnect with a specific someone, a person from your past that you lost contact with. I feel like this might have been a “right person, wrong time” kind of situation. It could be a friendship, but for a lot of you this will unexpectedly develop into a romantic connection. I see a slow burn for you guys. Late night car drives while blasting your favorite songs. Dates on the beach at night time/or while the sun is setting. There is this really soft and romantic energy between you guys (omg I am so happy for you guys what!!). I find this so interesting that the quote that fell for you here is extracted from a book about love and soulmates. I haven’t read it yet but I am giving you the title if you want to read it. This might be relevant or eye opening for some of you : Soul Lessons to Soul Mate: Relationship Revolution by Julie Kay.

This person might be your life partner for some of you!!! I am so hyped congrats!! I am literally so excited for you guys lets goo

ORACLE CARDS

Health - I will honor the physical vessel that enshrines my soul

Be careful not to push yourself too hard this year. You might neglect your health, nutrition or physical cues this year and this could be detrimental for you. Make sure to drink enough water and eat plenty of vegetables and fruits. Don’t drink too much coffee or avoid relying on artificial stuff, like certain medicine or supplements to replace your lack of sleep or nutrients. Stay healthy, be happy <3 

So many oracle cards of my Green Witch Oracle wanted to fall for you. I had to reshuffle so many times and still got 2 oracles cards instead of one. and, guess what ? They literally follow each other in the deck : You got the 34th and the 35th cards. again, soulmate/mirroring/twin flame energy. Pretty fascinating to say the least. What a duo you will make with this person !

34 - Attraction / Pansy (Libra energy) : "Pansies indicate that people are being pulled into your life who align well with you. Romance may be on the agenda, but this energy also helps build community and friendship circles, possibly where learning takes place. It is time to step back a little and relax into what is happening naturally. Hesitation and over-thinking could cause blockages, and watch out for personal deception and gossip."

35 - Focus / Stock (Sagittarius energy) : "Stocks offer confidence, calmness and a central place to rest amid turmoil and change. It is time to focus, to think more deeply and slow down. Your personal truth needs some attention, so don’t get lost in your present dealings. Stocks also indicate and lead you to a balanced place in emotional swings. Be careful of losing yourself amid the behaviors of others."

No much explanation needed. Your main lesson this year is to be able to find a work-life balance. You will be pushed to slow down in your grind multiple times to take care of your health, both physical and mental, and to nurture your interpersonal relationships. Overall a really sweet and deeply calming year awaits you. 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

🎃nightmare suit groovies~🎃

***Spoilers below the cut!! Please note: The R cards (Azul, Epel, Vil, Malleus) do not have new illustrations.***

OH MY GOD STOOOOP 😭 NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS CHARACTER CAMEOS IN THE GROOVIES??? ?? ?????? ??!???!? ?? ??? YOU MIGHT AS GFWELL WALK RIGHT UP TO ME AND IRiP MY FRIGIGN HEART OT RIGHT NOW

wWAHASL,ADFJHHDUPGFFI42T69O38QGPEGBIP;DGN;GDN;J J WORD SQUASHED U P IN THE AMYOR'S LITTLE CAR.. . . ....... . . . ... . . .. . ...... . . . OTL With the hair pushed back like that, teeth out, and eyes lidded, Jade almost looks like Floyd here. I THPOGU TI WOULDN'T BE sURIRPISED BY HIS SMIELS ANYMORE BUT I GUESS SI AWAS WRONG... This smile's very different than his unhinged/suspicious/evil ones and his pure ones, it's charming but more on the relaxed side. I also noticed the teeth are wider than usual (again, very Floyd-like), Jade's are narrower/smaller.

I like Trey's Groovy a ton! A lot more than I thought I would, actually. The blueish lighting and him looming over Sally's pot reminds me of his Club Wear card. ahdbasdlai There's also a slight sheen to his eyes, so Trey comes off like he's fascinated by her cooking and wants to learn more about Sally's techniques. He looks slightly shady too though, like some drug dealer inspecting the goods...

FHLBOQYW8QYFAFWI LRIDDLE'S RIDING IN THE CURSED CHILDREN'S BATHTUB... It's a little terrifying how hyperdetailed Lock, Shock, and Barrel's faces are and how they're all staring right at the camera. Riddle seems so calm, glancing at you over his shoulder with a little smirk. I usually don't use this adjective for him, but it makes Riddle feel cool! And since the image is shot from a slight worm's eye view angle, it gives him the illusion of being taller than he actually is--

Go figure, you slap the mad scientist character with the mad scientist of Halloween Town. Perfect pairing, honestly. I get very similar vibes between Idia and Dr. Finkelstein as I did with Trey and Sally; Idia is showing a real interest in the good (?) doctor's work and they appear to be deep in a discussion about it. The way Idia is bending over the table adgvkadsdval it kinda gives his body a more... triangular shape... that I just KNOW bro doesn't actually have. His face here seems more elegant than usual, almost Vil-like.

Thanks for the uncalled for viewing of the underside of your boot, Sebek 💀asjldboaysvyfevfeq I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS, he's trying so hard to come off as intimidating but I cannot see him as "the boss", even if he is posed like one. Give that jack 'o lantern some credit though, it sure is doing a fine job of supporting Sebek's big ol' beefy arm. Jack Skellington in the back is also sending me... Is he supposed to be intimidating??? That positioning just makes me think of someone leaning against a doorframe and trying to flirt by calling you their babygirl. GHBLIABFYIABFIAF ANYWAY I DON'T THINK THIS GROOVY WAS FOR ME

... wHAT THEFUCK. That was NOT what I expected of Jamil's Groovy. First was the weird pumpkin stroking, now bro's dancing with skeletons?????? IS THIS JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'REEMOTIONALLY REPREssED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE... YOU POP OFF AND DO THE MOST OUT OF PocKET THINGS FOR FUNSIES?????? Jamil looks so smug as he's doing it too, it feels like he's shittalking you like a Mean Girl while he's busting a sick dance move. (Cameo: his toof) Jack in the background also looks the most sinister of all the SSRs. That combination of laughter and showing off his teeth... Unsettling.

.

.

.

waht the hell. What HTBbr heLL. WHAT THE ACUTLA EHLLMIS THIIISISISISISSJISISISSSZ>/>?????w?f>fwlwkwfkfwjfwjkqljirtfyqnNOEGWOQG.,P57KIRJEI0RW08J:????>f>>fw>f>fw<wf<q>:q?q>v?v?v?v??gogibopobfuiibadh wnethuhw

WHYT THEUFKC FDUCC DOES THIS SLAP SO HARFZD OTL

ADSHJFIAGVTFVUOQEFVUBKQDWLGYQERGYOQF evyEROYNTHING AB OITU T THIS IS JSUT.... AKJBFLIUHADFIADFLF RIGHT UP MY lallEY... The extreme bird's eye view angle????? Jack with his arms crossed and that skeletal smirk??? Zero's little duck beak-shaped mouth?? The eerie green glow emanating from the fountain water below them? NLBVHDSKIUEGFABOGVSAEFYIPodp D nad HE WHOS HALL NOT BE NAMED V,NJ DBIOADFVIYOADFOTVFE8AYPFIEGWOBPFQEBOVGWIPEGBSNMVPOADVBN;DDBK;RWHOUGWBIQEPGNJQEG TH wE WHAYT THE FUCKCING ANGLR FRAMES HIS TITS AND MAKES HIS LEGS LOOKN EXTRA LONG, THE GRIBGKDJULBADFLBAFD CAPE WSWISHinG EVEYRWHERE, THe LIGHTONIGF FON HIS AHDNNEOMS E DAFACE, THE FUIDFSLBDFBKHAEFLBHQEFALBFEAL FA HADN TTHE FEGRIIGGING HAND HE'S OVFFERINGF TO YOU7? ? ???????? ? ?b?@??gb ? ? ? ? ? ?b>b>KNBNRIOBIGEBOYVDOGY8EANOapnjbgywt80pboqegwp,m iS THIS FUCKING BITCH ASKING FOR OUR HAND??? ? ?? ?? ?DOOahaaHAHhhghghghhghhgHHHHHhhhHHHHARRHRHGHGHGHGHHHHGHGHGHGHHHHHH HH H HHHH H H H H H I WANNNA bE SANDED TO BE PUT ouT OF MY MiSERY, I'M TAKING SO JCMUCH PSYCHICHDAMAG E I CAN'T TAKE IT I';N M GOINC CGATRAZXY. .. . . .BVL;,DFIPTOTO OT LTLTKT FLFL BHIVUASFOVUAFSA

gGUSY I THINK TI',M GDON E FOR, IT'S LEoVER FOR ME I SPENT SO LONG DENYRINH IT I DIDN'T WANNA ADMITR IT FOR MY OWN PRIDE BUT I'M DONE fRO I'M A GONRER BYE IT'S JFDAUBIADGOVUAFODUTVEFTI7EFWOIAVD;LIVOYGPGWEFQOIGYEQPgkjd TIUFQETO3R1QEFOTFQEG.5OIMH903GW9UPBAfpjFOVHDN;./'[;,KP[K,[LN,,L>:c<<l:LBHIDABIOUFPAOYGVEQBFPGWBPGHLGWBPQEFPGIAE whnEN YOU YSEE ME DNEXT I'M OGNNA BE LAid OUT IN A PIUMPKING PATCH DECATINGF CUZ THSI GROOVFY KILELD ME

[pinkgibbon]

I'm actually soo embarrassed to post this cause idk the first thing about Starlight Express. But I listened to the cast recordings and the characters sounded fun so I wanted to draw what I think they might look like. I saw a few costume photos while researching the show but other than that I wanted to see what I could come up with on my own before I dive any deeper. The last one is Pearl, hope the others are self explanatory. So sorry if I'm like completely off base on these haha, I've never had to anthropomorphize a train before.

YappingDesign notes under cut:

-I actually can't stand Greaseball and making her a butch woman was the only way I’d get myself interested just barely enough to draw her once. Sadly drawing her has created a positive feedback loop which has made me like her. So that backfired.

-Her outfit is nonsense, I took football padding and stapled train parts (Union Pacific's DDA40X) and Elvis shit onto it. I just wanted to put her in something other than a t-shirt for now.

-For CB I kinda wanted to make him look like a trucker but also very cutesy; still trying to strike the correct balance there. I put his handbrake on his chest bc I think it could potentially be a funny visual. Headset for communication (I think those r actually his ears, I just wanted to make them look like headphones. I really should give him a hat...). (Btw I love CB slang so this guy was an instant favorite also I love how he's insane)

-Pearl is blue bc her name is Pearl which reminds me of the sea :) She has window panels on her top. Idk if she should be so robotic since she's not an engine, but since she's new and shiny I wanted her to look futuristic. Also why I gave her a bit of a retro-futurist vibe. Plus a racing suit just for funsies.

-Wanted to give her a girl-next-door vibe cause she's still trying to figure out who she is, but I think she should have a goth phase or something soon.

Okay yay I can go look at costume photos and fanart now. I will come back more educated soon.

[atlabeth]

growing sideways

masterlist

pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader

summary: you and spencer have separate talks with parts of the team. it becomes clear that this case is nowhere close to over, and neither of you really know how to feel about each other.

a/n: this chapter FOUGHT with me for some reason but we're here! lol. can you tell that they love each other's eyes? anyways enjoy. this was much longer but then i decided to cut it here so. yeah.

another new banner bc when i lose inspo i make a new one for funsies

wc: 4.8k

warning(s): the usual. reader and spence DONT argue for once ? some angst, some fluff

You sleep better next to Spencer than you have in months. 

Maybe it’s the weight of his body against the mattress, his soft breathing next to you, maybe it’s just the knowledge that someone else is with you—but for the first time since all of this has started, you feel safe. 

Nightmares have been a constant part of your life for as long as you can remember. The standard fare when you were young, fears of the dark and the monsters that lived under your bed. 

You usually had to weather the storm on your own. Some babysitters were understanding, would sit on your bedside until you fell back asleep. Others couldn’t have cared less. And of course, once you got older and could start taking care of yourself, you just stared at the ceiling until you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You still have them, more often than any well-adjusted person probably should. But like most unfavorable things in your life, you ignore it as much as you can.

But for once you wake up naturally, blinking the grogginess out of your eyes as you slowly come to. Your gaze darts over to the other side of the bed, and some sort of disappointment settles in your chest when you find it empty. 

Normally you’d try and push that sort of thought away as soon as it popped into your head. But lately… 

Lately, you didn’t really know what to do. About anything, really, but Spencer most of all. And that kind of said something when you were actively dealing with a stalker. 

It was so much easier when you hated him—when you could believe he hated you. Now you were… friends? Acquaintances? Just two people that didn’t hate each other anymore?

You just didn’t know what to do about him. But as you catch sight of the clock, 8:34 blinking back at you, you decide that you have to start your day first before going any further into this mess. 

For some reason, you reach out and touch Spencer’s side of the bed. It’s cold. You never really pegged him as the type to get up early, but he’s been proving you wrong as of late. 

You try not to let Spencer Reid envelop any more of your thoughts as you get out of bed, rubbing the remaining weariness out of your eyes. You go through your morning routine but don’t change out of your pajamas—that room still makes your skin crawl. 

You walk out and head to the kitchen. Once again, coffee is already made. The mug you used for last night’s (this morning?) liquor sits in front of the machine, cleaned by someone with a more careful hand than you, alongside the sugar container. You huff. Clever. 

As if he could hear your thoughts, you hear Spencer say your name. “You’re awake.” 

“As ever,” you say. You fill your mug and pick it up, then start to walk over. “You’re not going to make me use sugar, no matter—” 

The words die in your throat when you see someone else is sitting with Spencer, claiming the chair that you usually take. Your dad says your name with a nod of acknowledgement. “It’s good to see you.” 

Your grip tightens on your coffee mug. The heat burns your hands, but you don’t really feel it. “What are you doing here, Dad?” 

“We had a break in the case,” he says. “Our unsub made contact with me and Reid, and he might have been here last night, so you clearly can’t stay here anymore. Why wouldn’t I be here?” 

You look at Spencer and he nods. “He showed up this morning, an hour and fifty-two minutes ago. Forensics is in the yard getting evidence.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?” you ask. 

Spencer shrugs. “You were exhausted. I didn’t see any reason to wake you. You deserved to rest.”

“This is more important—you should know that.” You look back at your dad. His gaze stays on Spencer for just a second too long. “So? What’s—” 

“It’s not more important,” Spencer interrupts. Your brows furrow as you look back at him, his words drawing both you and your dad’s attention.

“Reid,” your dad starts, but he shakes his head.

“It’s not more important,” he repeats. “This whole thing is about you—protecting you, keeping you safe. Your health goes along with that, and I’m not going to let you continue to neglect it.”

“Reid,” your dad says again, stronger this time. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Fine,” he says. “I just care about y— your health.”

You meet Spencer’s eyes for far too long, and it’s like he refuses to look away. You hate him and his stupid doe eyes; always filled with concern, always finding you. 

You hate how it feels like he’s always able to see right through you. 

“We think we’ve been looking in the wrong direction,” your dad says, finally breaking the spell over you. “I thought it would be someone I’ve already put away, that’s finally gotten out and is looking for revenge.”

“But the calls we got go against that.” Spencer clears his throat and speaks up, and you finally feel the weight of his gaze move away from you. “He said Gideon ruined both of your lives—yours and his. Looping you in with him sounds like he’s got a problem with his dad as well.” 

“Like I put his father away, not him,” your dad continues. 

“So my stalker thinks we’re the same.” You drink some of your coffee, trying to hide your grimace. “Lovely.” 

“It’s common in stalker cases,” Spencer says. “He doesn’t know you, so he’s able to idolize you. Fantasize that because you share this trait, that you think the same way too. It’s a way of coping.” 

“Reid’s been using a burner phone and my personal number isn’t public, but he still got a hold of both of us. He also found this place, so he’s clearly got technical skills,” your dad says. 

You shake your head. A chill runs through you despite the heat of the mug in your hands. “I don’t understand how he got here. You said this was top secret.” 

“We’re not perfect,” he says. “He might have gotten a hold of it in a leak—”

“Or we’ve been compromised from the start,” Spencer suggests. “Did we check the vans for trackers? Did you check her bags for trackers? I mean, if it’s someone she knows—” 

“You sound crazy,” you interrupt. 

“It’s not crazy if it could have happened,” Spencer says sharply. “And frankly, nothing is too crazy if it concerns your safety.” 

He meets your eyes, steely and determined. Again, his gaze is like a physical weight. This time, you look away before you can get too in your head. 

“Fine,” you concede. “Say any of these crazy things have happened. Where do we go from here?” 

“We’re taking you back to the BAU while we figure out our next step,” your dad says. “This place is on our unsub’s radar now; there’s too much uncertainty. You’ll be safe at the office, at least.” 

“Okay,” you say. “I guess I’ll go pack up.” 

“In a minute.” He looks over at Spencer and gestures towards the door with his head. “Go check on forensics. Make sure they have everything they need.” 

“But you already did that ten minutes ago,” Spencer says. 

“Reid.” 

His eyes dart from your dad to you, and then they widen as he shoots up from his seat. “Oh! Oh— yeah, of course. Yeah, I’ll go— I’ll go do that.” 

He scurries away, but he looks back and meets your eyes. You quickly avert them, feeling your face heat, and you don’t look away from your coffee until you hear the door shut. 

“Very subtle, Dad,” you murmur. 

“He won’t mind,” he says. He stands up and walks over, eyes softening as he places a tentative hand on your shoulder. “How are you doing, sweetheart?” 

You flinch just so at his touch, and you know he notices. You try to ignore it anyways as you clear your throat. “Fine. Clearly.” 

“You don’t have to lie,” he says. “Especially with the recent advancements.” 

“I’m fine,” you repeat, putting extra emphasis on the word. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming last night?”

“I’m worried our comms are compromised.” He stares at you for another second before he removes his hand and clears his throat. “I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks.” 

“Makes sense.” You take another sip of coffee, then blink and look at your dad. “Uh— do you want a cup?”

He shakes his head. “Reid already offered when he brewed the pot.” He pauses. “Says he does it every morning for you.”

You shrug. “I never asked him to. He’s just always awake before me.”

He nods. “So the two of you are on better terms?”

“I—” 

You think back to last night—to the shared bed, the murmured words beneath the cover of darkness, Spencer pulling you back from the edge without a second thought. You feel your face heat and you glance away. 

“Yeah,” you finally say. “He’s tolerable.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Tolerable?”

“Yeah,” you repeat. “Give him the medal of honor.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re getting along with each other.” Your dad pauses, and uncertainty plagues his features in a way you’re not used to. “If you have—”

“Have what?” you interrupt. “Anything I want to talk about?”

He nods. “These are unprecedented times for you. You’re going through something incredibly traumatic. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“First time I think I’ve ever heard that from you,” you mutter. 

His hand comes up like he wants to reach out to you, but he wavers. Your dad is always so unsure about you in every way, and though a part of you wants to ignore all his efforts, another part of you just wants to take the shreds of love you’ve been wanting for so long. A part of you wants to break down sobbing in his arms, let him be your dad and let yourself be his daughter. 

“I—” You clear your throat, turning back to him for a second. You let your other arm drop, opening yourself up a bit. “I’ll think about it.” 

“That’s all I ask,” your dad says. “That you know I’m here for you. That—”

He’s interrupted when the door opens, Spencer already talking as he walks through.

“Forensics is wrapping up right now,” he says. “They’re headed back to the lab after this—Anders said she would reach out as soon as they have conclusive results.”

Your dad clears his throat, looking at you for another second before he nods and steps away. “Then it sounds like we should get going.” 

Spencer nods, starting to move again. “I’ll pack my things up.” 

“I guess I’ll do the same,” you say, but your dad puts a hand on your arm. It’s just as much a surprise to him as it is to you, and you freeze in place. 

He doesn’t meet your eyes immediately, instead watching to ensure Spencer is out of range. Once he’s sure, he looks at you—he seems to realize his hand on your arm, because he drops it just as quickly. 

“I mean it when I want you to know that you can talk to me,” your dad says softly. “About this, of course, but also anything else.” 

You raise your eyebrows, and he huffs in a moment of uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I know I haven’t always been there. More often than not. I hate that it took until now to fully face the facts.”

“Dad, you don’t have to do this—” you start murmuring, but he shakes his head. 

“I do. I’m the reason you’re in this mess. I’m the reason you’re…” He trails off, and you bite the inside of your cheek. 

“So fucked up?” 

“No,” he says forcefully. “No. There is nothing wrong with you. You need to know that—and you need to know that I love you.”

You can’t help the way your eyes widen ever so slightly. Your father has never been an emotional man, at least not in front of you—

“Thank you,” you say, because you don’t know what else to say. “I— I love you too.”

He nods a few times, looking like he wants to say more. He opens his mouth, but he’s once again interrupted by Spencer calling your name. 

“You left your sweatshirt in my room,” he says. 

“Thanks.” You take it from him and clear your throat, glancing at your dad. “I should probably start packing.”

He looks between the two of you, then nods. “Alright. Move quick, both of you.”

You nod, already starting towards your room. The last thing you really want to talk about with your dad is whatever weird friendship is starting between you and Spencer. So much so that when you hear your dad start to say something to Spencer, you tune it out. 

Too much idle time always lets your mind wander, and you don’t want to give it the chance. You pack as fast as possible, shoving rather than folding your clothes into your duffle. You put your sweatshirt on once you’re done, and you take one last look at the room you’ve spent the last three weeks in. 

Your eyes drift to the window of their own volition and a shiver runs down your spine. 

You won’t miss it. 

Spencer walks in when you’re in the middle of packing your bathroom bag. You see him freeze out of your peripherals. 

“Uh— sorry.” He looks a bit flustered when you turn your full attention on him. “Do you want me to—” 

“I was just finishing up,” you say. “Don’t worry.” 

“Oh.” He stands there still, watching as you put the last few products in your bag. “Are you doing okay?” 

“Seems to be the topic of the day,” you say wryly. 

“Well, yeah,” Spencer says. “It’s the whole reason we’re here.” 

You shake your head with a huff. “I’m fine.” 

“It’s okay if you’re not.” 

“Well, I am.” You zip up your bag and look at him. “I’ll be even better once we’re out of here.” 

“A week ago, that would have turned into a full fledged argument,” Spencer notes. 

You shrug. “I guess things have changed.” 

“...I guess so,” he says. 

For a moment, all you do is stare at each other. Spencer’s eyes are filled with the usual concern, but a different kind than the one than Gideon’s. It weighs on your father, heavier than anything—it does something else entirely to Spencer, something you can’t quite place. 

“Thank you for last night, by the way.” You glance away, finally at your breaking point with eye contact. “It… it helped.” 

“I’m glad,” Spencer says. “I want to get you through this.” 

“Then finish packing up so we can get out of here, huh?” You feel like you have to break whatever’s in the air, a strange sort of tension that’s been popping up between you two too often lately. You’d almost prefer the arguments to this, if it weren’t for how upset they seemed to make Spencer. 

“Of course,” he says. “You should probably finish your coffee before we leave, though.” 

“Because of the benefits of black coffee,” you nod. 

“Oh, no,” he shakes his head. “I don’t want to deal with you when you’re going through caffeine withdrawal.” 

You actually laugh at that, and his lips quirk in a smile. “Spencer Reid, was that a joke?” 

“No,” he says. “It’s serious. I’m scared of you.” 

You laugh again, and you shoulder your way past him. “Alright, boy genius. Finish packing before I throw your things out the door myself.” 

You feel his eyes on you as you leave and you don’t look back. But for once, you leave the room smiling. 

-

The ride back goes smoother than the ride over. A few members of the forensics team took your spare car back—your dad didn’t want to split the three of you up, especially during a time like this—so you’re all together, but there are no arguments, which is more than anyone can ask for. 

Your dad talks more about the team’s process and what they’ve been up to while you and Spencer were isolated. You don’t like that they’ve been tearing into every part of your life, but you don’t really have much control over it at this point. 

It mostly consists of Spencer talking with your dad, catching up on everything he’s missed. They talk a lot about the profile the team has made, about possible suspects and leads and things you don’t know if you’ll understand. You stare out the window for most of the ride, trying your best to tune them out. 

Maybe it’s stupid, but you don’t care. You just want this all to be over so your life can go back to normal. You miss your kids, your classroom, Friday night drinks with your coworkers—god, you miss sunlight, as pathetic as it sounds. You want to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder, but even after this is over you think you’ll stay paranoid for a while. 

You make it back to the BAU with little pomp, which you’re thankful for. Spencer is still talking with your dad while you’re exiting the car, and you open the trunk to get your things. You reach for your duffle, but you instead hit another hand. 

You look over at Spencer, who, for once, isn’t already looking at you.  

“What are you doing?” you ask. 

“Getting your bag,” he says. “Do you need to get your eyes checked?” 

“Why are you getting my bag?” you ask instead. 

“Because I want to.” Spencer takes it out and your hand falls off of his, and he raises his eyebrows at you. “I thought we were past this stage of our friendship.” 

“I don’t need you to do things for me when I can do them myself,” you say. 

He shrugs. “If I want to, why would I make you?” 

Spencer doesn’t give you a chance to protest as he grabs his suitcase and walks towards the building, and you stare at your dad. 

“Is he always like this?” 

“You just spent two weeks with him,” he says. “You tell me.” 

You scoff and shake your head, choosing to just file in beside your dad. “You’re both ridiculous.” 

Spencer, meanwhile, is trying to cope with his brain going into overload. 

It’s not just enough that he has to deal with this case. Spencer has solved 17 stalking cases with the team since he joined the FBI, and he’s read about a lot more. And as everyone likes to keep bringing up, he’s already played the bodyguard role once and it went fine. Mostly. 

Honestly, solving the case would be the easy part if you weren’t involved in it, because you are the hard part. You’re a loose cannon, an enigma—your story is more similar to Spencer’s than you would like to admit, and yet he still doesn’t know what to ever expect from you. 

Being back in the BAU doesn’t help. He walks in with you and Gideon in tow, and all eyes are immediately on them. Morgan stands up first with a grin on his face. 

“Pretty boy, back in the land of the living,” he says. “It’s good to see you.” 

“I’ve been in the land of the living this whole time,” Spencer says. “The goal of the safe house was for both of us to stay alive, and it worked.” 

Morgan just chuckles. “Believe it or not, I missed that.” He looks over at you. “How was rooming with our resident genius?” 

“Just what you’d expect,” you respond. “How was digging into every crack and crevice of my life?” 

“Just what you’d expect,” Morgan echoes. 

“How are you doing?” Elle asks. She stands and leans against her desk, her eyes darting over to Spencer momentarily before landing back on you. 

“As well as I can be,” you say. You really love giving nonanswers. “Actually, uh, Agent Greenaway—”

“Elle,” she interrupts. 

“Elle,” you nod. “Could I… pick your brain for a few minutes? It won’t be long, I—” 

“Of course.” She doesn’t wait for you to finish adding your self-deprecating ending to lighten the load, instead just pushing herself up from the desk to walk over to you. “I have to pick up a few things anyways.” 

“Thank you,” you say, and you fall into step with her as the two of you start going down the hallway. Spencer can’t even hear the beginning of your conversation, and he realizes he’s frowning when Gideon calls after them. 

“Meet us in the conference room when you’re done, Elle!” She gives him a thumbs up without turning, and then Gideon looks at the rest of the bullpen. “That goes for all of you—conference room in ten.” 

The rest of the team nods or says some form of acknowledgement, and he nods with a sigh before walking off. He goes to Hotch’s office instead of his own, probably to discuss things about the case. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Morgan asks. 

“The case,” Spencer says. “Gideon values Hotch’s opinion on everything, and because this case includes his daughter he’s probably doubting himself more. Hotch is a voice of reason to him right now.” 

“Not them,” Morgan says, gesturing down the hallway you walked down. “Them. Elle and your girl.” 

Spencer frowns. “She’s not my girl.” 

“You looked a lot friendlier today than you did a couple weeks ago,” JJ comments from her desk. “You actually had a conversation without fighting, for one.” 

“That doesn’t—”

“Spencer Reid, you’re back and you didn’t immediately come and say hi to me?”

He turns at the interruption to see Penelope speeding over, and he smiles at the sight. He did miss her, especially their morning talks. His days aren’t the same without her. 

“Garcia,” he says. “I missed you!”

“Not enough to stop by first thing,” she huffs. “What are we gossiping about?”

“We’re not gossiping—”

“Pretty boy and Baby Gideon,” Morgan interrupts. “They’re kinda having a thing.”

“We are not!” Spencer tries to defend himself but he doesn’t even think Garcia hears him. 

“Oh my god!” she nearly squeals, and she hits Spencer on the arm. “I knew there was a vibe!”

“There is no vibe!” he complains. 

“There was some pretty thick tension between the two of you when you came in here,” JJ muses.

“How could there be tension?” Spencer protests. 

“You were carrying her bag,” Morgan points out. 

“Because Gideon makes me—”

“She smiled at you,” JJ adds. 

Spencer scoffs. “She never smiles.”

“You’re talking about her right now like you know her,” Garcia continues. 

“We were just in a house for three weeks together!” 

“Definitely enough time to fall in love,” Morgan says. 

“You’re all ridiculous,” Spencer insists. “Don’t you all have work to do?”

“Yes, you do.” He looks up to see Hotch and Gideon standing together at the top of the bullpen right by the stairs, and he’s never been so thankful to be called out by his bosses. “I hope you’ve gotten all your gossiping out. Conference room in five.”

“And stop teasing Reid,” Gideon says. “He did me a favor.”

Spencer nods thankfully as the two of them walk away, and he wipes his clammy hands on his dress pants. His button-up is a little wrinkled, but in his defense, there wasn’t an iron back at the safe house. You probably would have made fun of him for using it. 

“What are you smiling about?” Morgan asks. 

Spencer blinks, broken out of his reverie. “Nothing. I, uh— I’m gonna grab coffee.” 

He still feels their eyes on him as he speeds his way out of the conversation, can hear but not fully make out the whispers between them all. Worst of all, when he presses the palm of his hand to his cheek, it feels like he’s running a fever. 

Honestly, Spencer hopes he’s sick. At least he’d have an excuse for why he’s acting so irrationally. 

He can only imagine what you and Elle are talking about. 

-

Elle is smart enough to wait until the two of you have gotten a decent way down the hall. 

“What did you want to talk about?”

“No small talk?” 

“I don’t really like it,” she says. 

You nod. “Me neither. So thanks, I guess.” 

You sigh and wring your hands, trying to figure out the way to word your multitude of thoughts. Eventually, you decide to start at the most pressing matter. 

“He was there,” you say. “At the house. My… my stalker.” 

“So I heard,” she murmurs. “How are you holding up?” 

“People keep asking me that and I never know what to say.” You shrug. “I— I just am, I guess. 

“That’s fine too,” she says. “A lot of times, people don’t know how they feel until it’s all over, when they finally have time to sit down and let the dust settle.” 

“I’m angry, a- and scared, and really annoyed that this is still going on,” you say. “I’m pissed that this guy thinks he has any right to do this to me, th- that he thinks we’re anything alike.” You wrap your arms around your midsection, trying to ward off the sudden chill you feel. “I just want this to be over so I can stop feeling like everyone’s pity project.” 

“Let me guess,” Elle says. “You’re tired of feeling weak and like you’re at everyone’s mercy, and you hate that you have to rely on your dad for all of this.” 

You chuckle weakly. “Bullseye.” 

“I think the two of us are pretty similar,” she says. “And I know that for me, there’s nothing more frustrating than not being able to solve my own problems.” 

“Well, what’s the solution?” you ask. “Because I’m tired of feeling tired.” 

Elle sighs. “Sometimes you have to accept that you can’t control everything. You have to trust in your dad and our team.” 

You huff. “That’s harder than it sounds.” 

“Believe me, I know.” Elle glances at you. “But you’re going to drive yourself crazy otherwise, and I don’t really wanna lose you.” 

You smile at that. “Thanks. I like you too.” 

Elle laughs and the two of you continue walking, the silence surprisingly comfortable for someone you’ve only talked to twice. 

“You know,” Elle breaks the silence, and you look over at her, “a couple of people around the office were taking bets on you and Reid.”

“What?” you ask, maybe a little too defensively. “Why?” 

“We had this stalker case a while ago and Reid had to guard the girl, just like you,” Elle says. “They ended up making out in a pool before the case was over.” 

Your eyes widen so much you think they might pop out of your head. “What?” 

Elle laughs and nods. “Yeah. That actress, Lila Archer. She had a thing for him, but it didn’t really go anywhere. Pictures would have gotten plastered all over the tabloids if it weren’t for Gideon.”

You’re still trying to process the fact that Spencer Reid, the same guy who set off the smoke alarm by burning toast and fumbles his words when he’s around you and spouts off facts like a human encyclopedia at a moment’s notice, made out with a famous actress — and his team was betting whether it would happen with you too. 

No wonder he kept bringing up a damn pool. You feel your cheeks heat and you hope Elle can’t tell—you’re suddenly going through every single interaction you’ve had with Spencer, in private and public.

God, being around profilers is a nightmare. You suddenly want to avoid your dad even more.  

“I didn’t take him for that kind of person,” you finally manage. 

“He’s not, really. Was just a spur of the moment thing, I think.” Elle shrugs. “Seems Reid likes you, though.” 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you say hastily. 

“Give yourself some credit,” she says. “And some slack, too. Reid’s… pretty easy to—” 

The two of you are interrupted by someone calling both of your names, and you turn to see JJ standing at the bend. “Gideon wants us in the conference room.” She looks at you. “He said you can wait in his office.” 

You nod, and Elle looks at you. “You know where to go?” 

“Yeah,” you say. “Thanks for the talk.” 

“Any time,” she says, and she pulls something out of her pocket and hands it to you. It’s her business card, with her number at the bottom. “And I mean that.” 

You swallow the gratitude that swells in your chest and you nod a few more times. “Thank you. Seriously.” 

She smiles and walks off to meet JJ, and you stare at the card in your hand for a few more seconds before you shove it into your pocket. 

Two friends and a stalker. 

It could be worse.

[spitdrunken]

man. still have NOT managed to get my hands on the book of bill because it's sold out literally everywhere over here, but have any of you seen the new 'how not to draw' vid on the disney youtube channel that features bill? it really got me thinking.

notes: fourth wall breaking, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships, implied sexual content, implied mind control

it's heavily implied that the video takes place in a world where gravity falls is supposedly fictional, like our own. bill literally says he's going to break the fourth wall! because i'm a sucker for fourth wall breaks and characters being aware of their own fandom (to an extent), i simply just HAD to run with this scenario.

i just like the idea of 'you' being just a person, some totally, in the large scheme of things, insignificant human walking the earth. you have a tendency for escapism, perhaps. you have always been drawn to stories. you like gravity falls. maybe it was something you watched while you were younger and recently rewatched, or an interest that had never waned. regardless, bill cipher, charismatic and unapologetically evil villain that he is, is one of your favourites.

you doodle him on the edges of paper when you're supposed to be doing anything else. (regardless of anyone's artistic skills, it's not difficult to draw a triangle with a top hat and an eye, is it?) and in this world, you are hardly the only one who likes him, who, perhaps, ships himself with him, who thinks about him a lot. who makes drawings and writes or reads fic. you don't think it's all that unusual.

in a stroke of luck or, depending on how you look at it, the exact opposite, the universe's idea of a cosmic joke, you are the one to catch bill's eye. (it's, after all, much easier to infiltrate the dreams of someone who already has you on their mind. makes sense, doesn't it? a tentative, wavering link had been formed already.) there, in your dreams, he tells you what to say--triangulum, entangulum. meteforis dominus ventium. meteforis venetisarium--and the next morning, you remember it clear as a memory.

you do it. for funsies. why wouldn't you? you don't expect it to actually work. he's a fictional interdimensional demon. why would it work? but much to your surprise, and horror, because surely a screw must've gotten loose for this to be happening, one of your little doodles has life blown to it. as a response to your summon, a tiny little bill cipher darts across your paper, alive but still confined.

(you've given him an in. now, he only has to take the crack you've opened for him, dig his fingers in, and tear it open.)

oh, he'll be funny! he'll be exactly what you thought of him. perhaps he even voices a line of dialogue you swore you wrote down somewhere days prior. yes, he's read whatever you wrote or read, whatever you looked at. he's keeping it himself for now. it's not easy to inflate his ego further, but you might have succeeded. rather than a meatbag, bill first looks upon you with the eye of someone presented with a puppy. fundamentally lesser, but capable of being something with the right training.

he urges you to make a deal with him and the promise he'll act out whatever fantasy you've been cooking up in that brain of yours, even if it's gross and weird and physically impossible!

he'll warp your dimension to make all of it possible!!! it's great!!! don't worry about it!!!!!!

…you don't do it. you don't touch the paper. you've seen the show, and you aren't stupid. bill nearly balks. he'd expected you to be the easiest mark of all time, but he suppose he forgot that even puppies have teeth. that's fine. he can work with this. because even though you have not let him in yet, and you refuse to shake his hand through the paper, you don't seperate yourself from him just yet.

you could oh so easily take the piece of paper he's on and throw it in the nearest shredder. or set him on fire. in you, he recognises lingering curiosity, and the excitement at having stood out, at being chosen, in one way or another. it's not hopeless yet.

he can play a bit of a longer game, then. he's been at this for a long, long time. he'll tolerate the paper he's on being folded into a little square and tucked into your breast pocket, granting him a view of your life and the world you're living in. (all the time, his hunger grows.) your decision not to throw him away ends up being your downfall. spending so much time with bill, letting him joke around with you, complaining about your problems… it takes a while for you to realise that, for a while now, he has not been speaking out loud anymore, but instead through your mind.

a connection that cannot be cut has been formed in between two of you.

on bill's part, he had thorougly expected to be bored. but perhaps it's your genuine interest in him, not the things he's offering, which he does not often see. (he's been down this road before. won't end well. but...) the sheer mundanity of your life that makes him wish he could twist and turn it all around. or just a random alignment of the stars. the heart doesn't always follow logic. in this scenario, at some point, bill realises that he has become genuinely invested in you, too. and at that point, you'll never manage to slip away. he's already dug in his heels in your mind far enough. you had no adequate protection.

he still wants to take over your world. he still wants to escape the discomforting flatness of the paper you've summoned him in. but, perhaps, you two could share that meatsack of a body of yours, before things get that far.

[goddamnitmahtin]

dc x dp idea 3

Ok ok ok I don’t know if anyone has done this before. But like mad scientist x attachment ghost au. BUT it’s reverse. So instead of Danny being the dead one in this situation, it’s Tim. I don’t know how Tim would have died but it’s when he’s in his late 20s and Danny is a mechanical engineer at WE, his haunt.

Now in this AU Danny is still a halfa and he even became ghost king. But this isn’t the universe he came from and here? He’s nothing more than a very tired engineer with some meta abilities (floating, eyes glowing, just enough of his ice powers to be able to make sure his whiskey is always on the rocks). But the thing about being ghost king? It makes you immortal. Even when you’re taking a vacation in another universe.

Upon finding out the ghost king starts working at his haunt, Tim finds himself a new obsession. Danny. He can’t get enough of this nerdy guy and the amount of things he could learn from the ghost king himself? Tim is foaming at the mouth! Ugh he just HAD to be everywhere this man went! Tim was even considering making himself an attachment ghost just so he could follow him around outside of work (like Danny ever actually left).

So imagine if you will.

Danny being the only one who can see Tim as he pokes and prods him all day everyday while he works.

“If your the ghost king why are you in this dimension working for WE?”

“Ooh what does space look like?”

“Could I ethically haunt your computer?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Tell me Danny, does every ghost see the cosmos in your eyes or is it just me?”

“What are you working on anyways?”

“Did you know when I was alive, I used to fight crime?”

“Hey Danny, how old are you for real? I know you aren’t actually 27 since you’ve claimed to be 27 for the past 9 years you’ve worked here and you don’t age. Is that a Ghost King thing?”

“Did you know that Gotham used to be chock full of super villains? Most of them are retired now but back in the day? WOW was it a lot of fun to punch that clown in the nose.”

“Hey Danny, how much ectoplasm would it take to make me corporeal? I don’t wanna be, I just think it’s a cool experiment.”

“Did you know that when I was alive, some fucker took my spleen and kept it in a jar for funsies?”

“My brother Jason died twice you know. Was he like, one of your subjects after the first time or did he get a free pass?”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“Have you ever been to Batburger? Is Batburger still a thing?”

“I used to be the CEO of this place, did you know that?”

“Hey Danny! Do I get cool ghost powers too if I marry you?”

“What are the Infinite Realms like? Is it cool?”

“Hey Danny, I went through your company file and I was wondering why you changed your last name to Nightingale? Is that an artistic choice?”

One day, Danny just snaps and has a full on argument with what all his coworkers on the night shift think is pure air, “WHAT WERE YOU, A STALKER WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE?!”

Tim smiles a toothy grin, “YES! AWWWW DANNY YOU DO LISTEN WHEN I TALK! Oh by the way, if you don’t fix that gear, the system is gonna blow.”

Danny does end up fixing it in time but still.

Anywho…. Tim slowly grows on Danny and after Danny has to leave the dimension because he’s gone too long without aging and his boss is getting suspicious, he decides, fuck it. He might as well take his ghost with him. Maybe he will get powers if he married him. Only one way for find out right?

[froggerland]

I made a pattern for the terror gloves!!

Please note I'm not a professional and this is just for funsies, sorry for my clunky english but knitting terminology is a whole other beast lmao

I hope you can make some sense of this

Full tutorial under the cut

Terror Gloves Tutorial

Disclaimer: I’m not a professional and I’ve never written a knitting pattern before, I just made this up as I went tbh, basing it on a german tutorial I used for regular fingerless gloves I had made a couple of times already, the fingers I made up on my own. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to make another pair to document the process for you as of right now, so you’ll have to work off of the pattern alone. Sorry for all the weird terminology, translating german knitting vocab to english fried my brain real good lads.

 I’d say this is a beginner to intermediate level project, you should know how to purl and knit and how to make left leaning and right leaning increases. For the latter one I’ve linked a tutorial on YouTube at the part where it comes up in the pattern.

All that being said: I hope you enjoy making these gloves! Feel free to @ me on tumblr if you’d like to show them off :D

What you need:

- Yarn that requires you to use size 4 needles (3,5mm in the german/european system, the UK doesn’t carry the equivalent of this size for some reason, so use a size 10 or 9 depending on how tight you’re knitting); the color is obviously up to you, I used a grey close to the one most of the boys are sporting. I also used a 100% wool yarn, but I know those can be pricy so feel to use whatever is available to you :) I used about 50g, maybe a little more for my pair

-> Please note that I didn’t make a test swatch since I’ve used the base pattern of these gloves before and know that this size of needle works for me. I’d say I my tension when knitting is normal – tight so if you knit more loosely maybe choose smaller needles

- Size 4 double pointed needles (3,5 german/european, 10/9 UK)

- Safety pins

- Darning needle to weave in the ends

- Scissors

Tutorial:

- Cast on 11 stitches on four of your five double pointed needles

-> If you have smaller hands you might need to start with 10 instead of 11 stiches on each needle

- Join in the round and start the pattern for the ribbing that will make the glove a little tighter around your wrist, which means purl 2, knit 2, until the end of the row

- Repeat the purl – knit pattern for 20 rows

- Knit 10 regular rounds

- Now for the thumb: Knit 1, pick up 1 new stitch (it doesn’t matter if it’s left or right leaning), knit 1, place a safety pins on the needle behind that stitch so you can keep track of your increase section (tutorial for increases)

- Knit the rest of the round normally, as well as the round that follows

- Knit 1, make 1 left leaning increase, knit 1, make 1 right leaning increase, knit 1, slide the safety pin over

- Knit the rest of the round normally, as well as the round that follows; from now on the pattern will be one row with increases, one row without increases

- So in the next round with increases you will knit 2, make 1 left leaning increase, knit 1, make 1 right leaning increase, knit 2, slide the safety pin over

- Continue with this for 14 rounds (7 with and 7 without increases) until you have 15 stitches in the section framed by the safety pin

-> If you have small hands you might need to stop before reaching 14 rounds, your work should just about cover the first bone (going upward from the base) in your thumb. Maybe stop at 10 or 12 rounds, make sure you end on one without any increases

- After your last “no increases” round, before you start with the next round put the 15 stitches for the thumb on hold by sliding 7 of the stitches onto one safety pin, the other 8 onto another; you will not continue to work with these stitches (for now)

- Continue like normal and start knitting the rest of the stitches on the needle, making sure to join tightly to avoid a gap and finish the round

- Knit 11 regular rounds or until you reach the base of your pinky finger; you should have 42 stitches on all of your four needles right now

- We will start by knitting the pinky finger: For this knit normal until you’re at the second needle and have 5 stitches left on it

- Put all but 10 stitches (the ones on the second needle and the first 5 on the third needle) on hold by placing them ideally on two big safety pins or several smaller ones

- Knit normally until you reach the end of the second needle; here you will take a third needle and pick up 2 more stitches, one from the side the second needle is on, one from the side the first needle is on, so ideally, you’re keeping the gap that’s going to form between the fingers as small as possible

-> If you have small hands, you might only have to pick up 1 stitch or none at all; if you find that that’s the case split the 10 stitches onto three needles so they’re easier to work with and continue as written down below

- This was the first round; knit 9 more or until your work almost reaches the second bone in your pinky finger or just until you decide that it’s enough (feel free to try the gloves on as you go!), cast off and cut the yarn

- For the ring finger, pick up 10 stitches from the ones you put on hold, once again two needles with 5 stitches

- Join the yarn in the same place you started with the pinky finger

- Knit the first needle, then pick up 2 stitches on a new needle as I described it for the pinky finger

- Knit the 5 stitches on the second needle, then use yet another needle to once again pick up 2 stitches. You now have 14 stitches on 4 needles

-> If you have small hands, you might only have to pick up 1 stitch per new needle or just one stitch on one new needle

- Knit 14 more rows like this or until your work almost reaches the second bone in your ring finger or once again until you decide that it’s enough, cast off and cut the yarn

- The middle finger works exactly the same: Pick up 10 stitches from the safety pins, pick up 4 new stitches on two new needles, knit 15 rounds or however many, cast off and cut the yarn

- For the pointer finger you should have 12 stitches left since we started off with 42 in total (30 already “used” leaves 12) which means we only need to pick up 2 new stitches on one new needle (whether you pick them up on the side facing the thumb or the one facing the other fingers is up to you; I picked the one facing the thumb but picking the other one will probably look better)

-> If you have small hands, you might only have to pick up 1 stitch or none at all

- Knit 14 rounds or however many, cast off and cut the yarn

- Now to finish off the thumb: Put the stitches back onto your needles, 7 on one needle, 8 on another; now taking up a third needle slide the last stitch on the second needle onto it, pick up 2 new stiches around the base to make sure there’s minimal gaping, then pick up the first stitch on the first needle. You should now have a total of 17 stitches, split on three needles (6, 7 and 4 stitches) forming a triangle

- For the first round, join the yarn into the first stitch on the first needle; knit normally until you reach the third needle: Here you knit the first 2 and the last 2 stitches together, leaving you with 2 stitches on that needle

- Repeat this for the next round and knit the remaining 2 stitches on the third needle together, leaving you with 1 stitch on that needle (it can be finicky handling this third needle but it makes working the rounds a lot easier)

- Knit 5 rounds or until your work reaches over the second bone in your thumb, cast off and cut the yarn

- Weave in the ends; you might have to go back in with extra yarn if the holes between the fingers are too big for your liking

Yay!!! You finished it, congrats!! :D