#might infodump about him when i get him sorted out lowkey…..

[slasherflicks999]

cut my hair (aka chopped a shit load of layers into it LMAO) so here is doodle of my sona with my new hair because why not

just felt like posting something tbh hehe

[eofoc]

day 9: relationships (part 1)

Ange & Juliet - platonic, half-siblings

Ange & Yuze (angeyuze 🌿🌊) - romantic

Mischa & Orifiel (orimischa 🗝️🦢) - romantic; art credits: first, second

Juliet & Roselyn (roseliet 🌹🕯️) - complicated; art credits: first, second

AAAHAGHG MY FAV DAY!!!!! prepare for a crazy CRAZY EXTENSIVE infodump (under the cut) ...

edit: i feel like this is already a long ass post so tbh. i might just reblog with a description of the other two (🗝️🦢+🌹🕯️) at a later time :]

idk if i need to say this but i hate incest. please block me if you engage in any sort of incest media / fiction. my ocs siblings relationship are strictly platonic

💚🧸 ill start with the siblings because they make me a bit crazy i cant lie. they are half-siblings!! juliets dad died when she was very very young (a baby basically) so she grew up with her step-father (ange's father)... she didnt really gaf about him at all though because she was mommys girl . amen

when they were younger, ange and juliet got along really well!!!! juliet loved playing the role of an older sister and she liked dragging ange around ... they also played togetjer a lot :3 but like. gradually they started getting more into their studies and all .... their parents were getting more and more antagonistic towards each other so they began piting the kids against each other as well. #divorce

as a kid ange viewed juliet as some sort of a. higher figure... something beyond his reach... a kind and silly and funny angel and the only person who treated him right honestly. so when he assumed that juliet has betrayed yuze and had his parents killed . his world Lowkey literally crumbled. i think he realized at that time that shes just a human person and can Also make mistakes.

their relationship got a bit strained because ange started to isolate himself Hard. and juliet is a naturally pushy person when it comes to others so it did make her frustrated when he wouldnt tell her anything or talk to her... wah...... ange was also being ostracized by society because of his father :( juliet tried to throw parties and warm others up to him and she was like. just act nice okay. but it failed lowkey because hes a bit of an asshole sometimes

they had a big fight over that and stopped speaking like.. at all...... ange thought juliet was setting him up and exposing him to people that dont like him when all she did was try to fix his image and reputation... whatever okay.

i also want to say theyre very similar in a lot of aspect!!! both mask their emotions to a crazy degree, usually with a smile or with humor... both kind of try to appeal to people as much as they can, but in different ways? ange mostly wants people to see him as stupid and non-threatening (opposite of his father) and juliet wants people to see her as pitiful and hard-working. they are also both mildly suicidal BUT ange is like -> i have no purpose so i should kms vs. juliet being like -> kms is the only way to escape the purpose i have in life

🌿🌊 ohhh the doomed yaoi... they make me super super sickly.... i talked about their childhood like 93849 times so . well. idk if i should do it Again . However

theyre like. childhood friends to one-sided enemies to lovers . in their childhood years yuze and ange met when yuze was helping his parents with tailoring clothes and yuze helped him out a bit (ange was afraid to speak up and yuze noticed it...) and so it began. ange kind of even in his childhood clung to yuze a lot because it seemed like he was the only one who understood him and his troubles. like even to a bigger degree than juliet could. to yuze . well he didnt think too much about it . like childhood friend yay :)

then the whole FIASCO happened. yuze jumped through 9328 mental hoops and as a 10 year old the only logical thing that made sense was that ange had something to do with the death of his parents. poor ange lost his only friend, his dad was executed and his mama now hated him more than ever and forbid juliet from meeting with him. so they were both going through it .

and then when they meet again they are literally . two different people . its like meeting a fuckign stranger because of how much theyve changed and that drives me a bit crazy. ange is hurt by the resentment yuze seems to hold for him.... yuze is like damn i have to kill this guy (he doesnt Really hide it...) but he finds out how suicidal ange is and hes like. :/. i dont like you but dont do that actually jesus christ youve had it rough. and then he finds out that ange didnt have anything to do with his parents after all and the GUILT that kicks in is crazy. and then more stuff happens (Heh

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Personal rant bc we haven't gotten my official results yet but we did get a very stressful phone call about it, and because adhd has been kicking my ass lately. This is going to be long and rambly and all over the place, and if you're anti self-dx, I wouldn't suggest reading further (or interacting with me in general). It also sort of becomes just me psychoanalyzing my own behavior and infodumping about it

-------------------------------------------------------

For context, I'm autistic and adhd, and I went and talked to a psychologist a couple weeks ago and had some testing done

Personally, I don't really feel the need to have an official diagnosis for autism. I'm confident in my informed self-diagnosis (technically it was actually my parents who first suggested I might be autistic but I've learned a lot about it since then and now I'm pretty sure I'm more convinced than they are) and I just don't think a doctor's note will do much for me (totally understand and support anyone who does want to get diagnosed tho). Adhd however is another story. If I want meds that will actually work and accommodations with my school, they need proof, and as things are I am desperate for some help.

So the appointment I had a couple weeks ago was supposed to be for adhd testing, but apparently he also lowkey tested me for autism while we were there. Which like, fine, whatever, it would be sort of nice to have that validated I guess, but when we checked back in with him on the phone earlier this week he started using outdated and problematic terms like high-functioning and aspergers and I'll just say that it did not exactly inspire confidence

But that can of worms aside, let me get back to (mostly) adhd related ranting

I feel like there could be an essay about how the diagnostic process for adhd is flawed and doesn't work all that well for people who have an internalized notion that their worth as a person is dependent on their academic success and task performance and therefore spent their childhood and adolescence funneling all their efforts time and attention into school and generally being seen as a good well-behaved bright kid out of desperation to have value (and it worked- I've always made good grades, but what people don't see is the days, weeks, months of paralyzed procrastination, the anxiety-fueled mad rush in the end to get things done late, and the grace I'm inexplicably shown every time, without which my grades would be much worse)

I'm scared, that I'm going to be determined "too high functioning" to be diagnosed even though I'm currently doing basically nothing with my life outside of college and yet I'm technically failing like half of my classes right now, that they're going to say "well the signs weren't there when you were younger" even though there's a variety of explanations for why that might be, not the least of which being the fact that for some folks with both autism and adhd the traits of the two have a tendency to "hide" one another

Apparently he also ran an iq test on me, and he broke down the 5 scores to us; I scored in the upper average/above average bracket in all but the 4th, processing speed, in which I'm below average. And like yeah, I'm well aware that I'm slow, but I guess it's official now-

Anyway, my main point with the iq thing was that while he was telling us about my high scores in the first 3 areas, I'm sitting here getting more and more uneasy, bc I'm like yeah sure I'm intelligent or whatever but it isn't worth shit if I can't motivate myself to actually do anything with that potential, and the conditions under which I was tested just don't reflect my day to day life closely enough to give an accurate reading, in my opinion.

Basically I'm afraid this guy is going to look at the results of some tests- tests which I was really focused on bc of the intrinsic fear of failure that plagues my existence (even though rationally I know you can't fail a psychological evaluation) and bc I know it's a bitch of a process to even get tested in the first place and I wasn't going to waste the opportunity goddammit-

That he's going to look at them and decide that I'm "too smart" to have a learning disability, when, again, all the brains in the world wouldn't do me any good if I

1) don't have the ability to self-motivate and direct them at what I need to be working on, even if I've been beating myself up about that pile of homework or my disaster of a room for weeks or even months, and

2) have such a loose grasp on the concept of time and priorities that I have on multiple occasions found myself pulling all-nighters on personal projects or reading for pleasure or scrolling on my phone only to realize oh shit I have to get up for school in like two hours, oh fuck, I'm going to be exhausted all day, what happened to "let's go to sleep early this time, I'll just do this for like 5 more minutes and then call it a night"

or realize after one of those all-nighters that what was actually a period of about 10 hours feels more like 10 minutes to me ("man wasn't I literally just here to get dinner" the next morning, passing the caf on my way to class on exactly 0 hours of sleep and still having managed not to get any of my actual class work done in all that time)

And also just that tendency in itself is significant, to get so deeply hooked on something once it does manage to get my attention, that I often feel like I can't stop until outside forces demand it- staying up until 4am on a school night painting my phone case and texting my crush (14 or 15), making bracelet after bracelet at the kitchen table at ungodly hours of the night because I couldn't sleep and now that I'm on a roll I don't want to break the momentum (18, a few months ago), throwing horrific amounts of time at reading fanfiction of whatever series currently has my interest when I have so much work that needs to get done if I want to have a chance at passing my courses this semester (18, basically present), making a last minute birthday present for my aunt and being so caught up in the rush and the craft of what I was working on that I ignored my body's needs until I ended up pissing myself (12), etc

The fact that I've been meaning to catch up with my high school friends for weeks or months, literally something as simple as a "how have yall been" in the group chat, yet for some reason I still haven't gotten around to it

The fact that for all my alleged intelligence I still haven't learned to ride a bike or drive a car or apply for a job or develop a work-life balance or play any of the instruments I want to or have a thriving social life or feel like a person (I think these are more autism-related but I'm throwing them in anyway)

The fact that minor (or even just mistakenly perceived) disapproval or judgment or teasing or having a text left on read can send me spiraling into anxiety and convinced that everyone hates me and that I'm worthless or obnoxious or stupid (rejection sensitivity is a bitch)

The fact that when I try to read I have to make a constant conscious effort not to jump ahead and all over the place and I often have to reread the same passage multiple times to understand it because I realize that I wasn't actually paying attention the first couple of times, my mind elsewhere and my eyes wandering

I know even if I do get diagnosed they'll say it's inattentive, not hyperactive or combined, because the majority of my hyperactivity is either fairly subtle movements (because I'm socially anxious and clumsy and don't want to draw attention to myself or run the risk of breaking or disturbing something) or just straight up in my head. Like sure I'm not a nine year old boy who can't sit still in class and is constantly bouncing around all over the place and getting into trouble and driving his parents and teachers crazy (bc being seen as annoying and unruly by authority figures would have broken me), but there's always so much noise in my brain, it's always talking or playing music in the background or thinking about the 47 different projects I need to be working on and the media it wants to be engaging with instead and the 1000s of things there are to worry about in a day; sometimes I'll get stuck in a loop where I'm mentally repeating a word or phrase over and over and over again until I feel like I'm going crazy

All of this is stuff that this guy doesn't see, and that worries me when it comes to the validity of his assessment

But basically, what I'm trying to say is, I swear to god if the people around me don't believe that there's clearly something not neurotypical going on here I'm going to fucking riot

And, ranting aside, I want to end this post with a note to all my fellow neurodiverse folks who are waiting for answers or treatment or validation or support or whatever.

I feel you. Hang in there. You have my well wishes in your endeavors. And remember, it's ok to be happy with or proud of who you are and what makes you different, it's ok to embrace your neurodiversity while also acknowledging how difficult it can be to live with and the fact that you might need extra time or support with things that seem to come easily to other people. It's ok to admit that it's fucking hard sometimes, and it's ok to ask for help. Take care, mates

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Okay now I’ve sort of managed to calm down a bit

and to help me calm down more

All the Good Things ™️ from yesterday ^_^ (not necessarily in chronological order because we jumped the tracks of a dozen different conversations XD)

- getting to talk to people my own age from the same background as me

- childhood friends!

- cat mom talk 🥰

- UHM SO I HAD THE CHANCE TO REMINISCE THE SAME WAY TALKING ABOUT OUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

“You were there for mine?”

“What no-“

“Underwear.” (I WASNT PLANNING TO SAY IT BUT XD IT WAS FUN AND I WAS COMFORTABLE)

*cue groans and CRIES of STAR IM SO SORRY THERE WAS SOMETHING GENUINELY WRONG WITH ME WHO DOES THAT*

(🤭 I’m lowkey like hey I got the Moment ™️, the bit where you all know without explaining the Drama from the Old Days 🥲)

- accountability - I think she was a bit too harsh on herself but like, talking about how we were when we were younger and acknowledging how she could have been nicer and more considerate to me, like that was really reassuring even though I’ve always thought quite well of her but it was nice to have someone acknowledge it. Like no one from the old days has ever actively sought out my friendship let alone talked honestly about how they treated me so it’s so so so heartwarming, ESPECIALLY WITH THE INCIDENT

- new perspectives! Like my friend telling me her perspective of the Incident and aunties being very protective of me WHICH I DIDNT KNOW and I was so embarrassed but it’s like, heartwarming to know how people care for me.

And perspectives outside of apparently the lad talk, which is in general “Star is a Good Girl” and I was very surprised but pleasantly so about that. Like their mums love me and would encourage them to hang out with me like oh Star’s so nice ^_^ and the way they’ve always talked about me, like even talking to me they were really admiring and kind and just 🥹

- learning about their lives and really getting to know them. Growing up together is quite passive as opposed to knowing them, and now I feel I know them a lot more and being trusted with their lives and wow we have a lot more in common now as grown ups

- shared passions, talking about art!! I feel like I’ve found people in my real life that I can talk art with!!!!! MAYBE ART SESSIONS TOGETHER? 🥺

- THEY BROUGHT UP NEURODIVERGENT CULTURE AND KNEW WHAT IT WAS IM ???!!!?!?!?! BONDING OVER SOCIAL ANXIETY AND BEING BIG TALK PEOPLE AND INFODUMPING AND UH WE MIGHT ALL BE NEURODIVERGENT THE FEELS I AM FEELING I felt very comfortable in casually going like yeah I might be autistic and they were like awesome!! And that really makes sense!! 🥹 I’m-

🥹

- bonding over shared trauma :D religious and otherwise

- Gen Z casual therapy sessions over coffee and dessert LESGO

- being mindful of breaking generational trauma

- KINDNESS AS A CHOICE MENTALITY THANK YOU FINALLY PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND I AM NOT A UNICORN OR I AM BUT I AM WITH OTHER UNICORNS other people who understand unconditional kindness 🥹 and also standing up for yourself. Just… the validation like no not just that but the *understanding* and the way we all look at our struggles the same way like yeah people may wrong you but it’s with Allah and we aren’t wrong for being kind

- When You Actively Choose Religion. Like yes any kid raised Muslim gets this but like they GOT it the same way I did the caring about it and practicing and struggles and similar struggles

- Laurie Drama and again, perspective like they heard about it and they were happy for me and then when talking they were like oh that’s your side (abridged) and being respectful and supportive! And like yeah our brothers LOVE the guy but clearly not right for you GOOD ON YOU FOR LISTENING TO YOUR INSTINCTS

- I must extend on this, the emphasis they had on being supportive without even knowing a fraction of the full story despite the fact they know the perfect image of the guy, knew him better growing up around him or the guy’s side only just no it wasn’t right and they immediately understood and didn’t need justification because it’s enough to listen to my opinion because 1. my choice 2. Star’s judgement LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

- Talking about marriage stuff and when it’s Right you are comfortable, I will say these girls are a bit more perceptive in like nah I think you’re definitely a marriage person apparently my detached anti marriage vibes never stuck with them XD which like, fair maybe so surprisingly being honest like sure I’m up for it when I am sure and ready and most importantly trusting.

- Girls need to stop rushing into marriage (just cos we say we want to doesn’t mean ANYone and it doesn’t need to be right away and like THANK YOU SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL ABOUT IT honestly all through this meet up I just kept feeling yes oh my gosh same page 🥹 girls who get it’s a friendship for life)

- critical over men AGAIN THANK YOU FOR BEING NORMAL IT AINT JUST ME lamenting over yeah those stupid rumours were probably just GUYS being guys “you know if you smile at a guy he thinks you want to marry him”

- defending me again like no completely not your fault people are silly

- critical of suitors the same way I am (IT IS NOT JUST ME THANK YOU IT’S COMMON SENSE i mean same with the rest of my friends but they’re not as aggressive as me these girls get it)

- friend’s cousin saying how her brother wants to marry me or her mum wants her brother to marry me and I was like nooo and she was like THANK YOU NO WAY WAS I HAVING THAT

- racism talks and the Coffee Cup Story XD nah cos like their FACES when they realised how FIERCE the good girl is “I’m too shy to run after like islamophobes” “I have a story for you”

“:O GO OFFFF”

💜💜💜💜 general warmth and comfort 🥰 it was unexpected and to be seen and understood is so rare and to find it in people who I grew up with it just feels special

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Insha’Allah I think we’ll probably get together more and I’m planning to share stuff with them about their fundraising and art I’m doing in Ramadhan Insha’Allah, they come from these families of really strong, awesome women who started a lot of support systems and organisations and charity work for Muslim women in loads of different ways, women’s help escaping abuse, mental health support, career support, nurseries for underprivileged kids and so much more and I’ve always had this great respect and admiration for their mums/grandmother and they really get it too I mean that’s WHY they get it on some level and why I felt comfortable to share my Unicorn Feelings so yeah it’s been a long time since I felt so… comforted by a friendship ^_^ and it’s really heartwarming

[bpdanakins]

i just infodumped to my friends about bpd anakin and i have No Regrets snakjdkajfsk

anyway, doth thee have any more bpd anakin (or just anakin in general) headcanons becuase i am living for this

I am So Sorry this took so long, but hopefully the length makes up for it. Thank you so much for sending this to me bc BPD!Anakin is my entire life. I could talk about it all day, every day.

I’d like to thank @apple-grass-and-smiles for helping me organize my Thoughts on all of this, prompting me to focus on certain things and giving me feedback in general too. 

Okay, here goes:

Anakin fidgets!! I’m not even sure if this is a headcanon but if it is I will die on this hill. He can’t stay still for the life of him and doubly so when he’s anxious, nervous or Ready To Do Something Already. 

We know Anakin can’t hold eye contact to save his life when he’s upset or insecure, but I can also see him having issues with touch when he’s upset, unless it’s from certain people only (Padmé always gets a pass, for example).

Anakin’s quick to let some small stuff go, but larger things people do that hurt him (whether intentionally or not) aren’t really ever forgotten, and he just kind of takes that in and suppresses it, until random moments when it pops up, he remembers, and it just hurts like it’s happening all over again. The people around him often have no idea what fully sets him off, bc to them, his reaction now seems out of nowhere while his mind’s still stuck on this other thing.     - His reactions also seem sometimes like they’re Over The Top, but even just remembering past hurts can feel almost disabling at times. It’s worse when he ends up ruminating on it, because the hurt and feelings of betrayal just keep building up over and over until it almost blots everything else out.

When he’s happy or surrounded by those he loves, everyone kind of can feel it too, bc he’s just fuckoff powerful in the Force and esp other Force sensitives kind of gather around his space and just… his affection and excitement are literally infectious. 

This probably runs closer to ADHD than BPD for sure, but get him talking about anything mechanical (robotics, engineering, racing, etc) and he will go from 0 to 100 so fast you’d get whiplash. No one minds though bc, as I said, his excitement is infectious and honestly those around him just adore listening to him go off even though half of it goes over their head.     - Ahsoka may not ever get Gotta Go Fast, but she definitely loves it when he really talks her ear off about all this stuff, bc it makes her excited to learn and she picks up on all of it easily. (There’s a part of her that wants to emulate him and she does def look up to him obviously.)     - We see it with Obi-Wan, but people love to use his love of all things mechanical as a way to distract him from things that upset him. It doesn’t always work but they try.

With Obi-Wan, he ends up on the side of Anakin’s splitting like, all the time. And unfortunately sometimes Obi-Wan can’t tell that Anakin’s lashing out not because of something Obi-Wan’s actually done, but bc Anakin’s young and Obi-Wan’s the figure he can project a lot of his frustrations on.     - It can lead Obi-Wan to being confused and hurt sometimes, bc he doesn’t always understand Anakin’s thought processes when this happens, and it definitely sometimes cuts him to the core. On the reverse side, though Anakin might not always say it to his face, Obi-Wan definitely can overhear him at times when Anakin’s ready to 1v1 anyone who even so much as makes a frowny face about Obi-Wan, which helps Obi-Wan remember that Anakin does love him too, actually.     - It ends up being one of the points of frisson between Anakin and Mace, bc Anakin can’t read body language perfectly, especially when it comes to feelings of abandonment or someone seemingly not loving who Anakin loves to the same degree. Mace has a drier sense of humor at times and defs has a more resting frowny face, and this rankles Anakin at times bc he can’t always tell when Mace is just chilling vs being disappointed, and while Anakin will take it all personally, he ALSO takes any perceived criticism to those he loves personally too.     - Both Mace and Obi-Wan don’t get this bc they have a perfectly fine relationship. Anakin’s just Like That.     - (And super overprotective of people’s perceptions of Obi-Wan. Anakin will go off about Obi-Wan being mean and all that, but fuck you and your entire family tree if you ever even think Obi-Wan’s anything short as the most amazing Jedi to ever Jedi.)

Everybody and their mother can see the pedestal Anakin puts Padmé on, and surprisingly she rarely is on the end of his splitting. When he does, he just internalizes it bc he can’t stand the idea that he’s somehow seen her in a wrong light, or he feels guilty for getting angry with her.     - He also defines a huge chunk of his life around loving her, making her his center for a lot of his decisions and reactions, so when they’re off, his whole world seems backwards. It makes him Really uncomfortable and unsure. He gets panicky and upset and often people have no idea what the cause is so they just end up a lil panicky in return.     - He tends to take it out on others, by doing an exercise or by disappearing to fiddle with something.     - Pads has an easier time recognizing Anakin’s emotional needs, bc in some ways they’re the same as hers. She’s good at reaching out to him, comforting him and reassuring him of her love. And in turn, he like, never fucking shuts up about how much he loves her, and those moments are what make her feel so special around him. Being loved by Anakin makes someone feel important and even get tingly, bubbly happy feelings, because it’s hard to doubt it sometimes.     - There’s a part of her that sometimes worries about how Intense he is, but, like I said, when his positive intense emotions are focused on you, it feels wonderful. And he’s genuinely super sweet and gentle, and she appreciates that, when she tells him to back off about something, he’ll listen to her wishes. (I’m using movie Anakin as my base here bc TCW!Anakin in this regard is just…. bad y’all lmao)

Anakin’s anxious about Ahsoka All The Time. He’s afraid he’s a bad teacher, he’s afraid he’ll mess her up somehow, he’s afraid he’ll hurt her or she’ll get hurt, and that’s why he can’t stand the idea sometimes of her being on her own. It’s not a lack of trust in her abilities, but because he feels responsible for her, and that’s why he’s always ready to put himself between her and literally anything that could potentially hurt her. (Even if it’s not a physical threat.)     - There are times she finds this amusing and times this makes her angry, but mostly she is long suffering. There are times she appreciates it though, bc she’s still a kid and isn’t always sure which way is up, especially when in a war. Anakin is often a cornerstone for her, and though she’d literally NEVER admit it, his overprotectiveness can sometimes be a reassurance. She knows she can handle herself just fine, but when she has an inkling of doubt, she’ll remind herself that Anakin will be there, and then go and take care of the problem herself.     - She doesn’t always get his moments where he’s not always falling over himself to talk Obi-Wan up or go out of his way to sass at him. To her, they have a wonderful relationship and she rarely notices when Obi-Wan might say something that pokes at Anakin wrong, so she often just winds up ???? when Anakin is huffy or annoyed with her grandmaster.     - She sees Anakin’s anger issues a little more easily than others, and she worries about it but always brushes it off or downplays it, bc she always sees why he’s angry, and also always just assumes (like everyone else) that he can Handle It.     - Anakin’s recklessness and impulsivity are some of her favourite things about being his padawan. He’s literally never boring to be around, and Ahsoka needs that sort of excitement to sometimes push aside the knowledge that she’s literally in a warzone. Anakin’s also really good at doing this intentionally; he’s literally always worrying after her, and all he wants to do is take care of those he loves and make them happy, so sometimes he’ll be Extra just to get under her skin or distract her and honestly this is the basis of where their playful competitions always come from.

If Ahsoka is long suffering, Rex is doubly so. Sometimes it’s all he can do to keep up with Anakin and Ahsoka, but he appreciates Anakin “thinking outside the box”. He also appreciates knowing that Anakin is just as loyal to him and his men as he himself is (well… Anakin is until he isn’t lmao)     - Rex, like Pads, is really good at picking up Anakin’s moods and even trains of thought, so he’s always able to work around that, or even see where Anakin’s mind is going when coming up with a plan. They make a really good team bc while Anakin can jump from one idea to another without them seemingly correlated, Rex immediately follows Anakin’s leaps and they just end up in sync.     - That being said, Anakin can be really confusing at times. His moods are often so all over the place, that Rex generally has no idea what tf is going on. He deals with it by learning to be calm when Anakin’s unable to, and just ride out Anakin’s worst moods until they pass by, learning not to let it all phase him. Anakin lowkey hates it when he’s upset, but once the worst of it passes, he really appreciates that Rex will just… not press like Obi-Wan, or balances out the moments Anakin’s mind is so cluttered by instead just keeping a good focus on things.

Probably everyone’s most baffling symptom of Anakin’s is his paranoia. Obi-Wan kind of sees it the most, because Anakin is always testy with the Council and often feels put on the spot, dismissed and looked down upon. To everyone else, they don’t get where Anakin’s ideas come from, bc everything seems chill on their end. His fretting about others’ well-being is straightforward enough, but his instant panic-turned-anger shift when he receives any criticism (especially the perceived type) always gives people whiplash. It’s hard to keep up with, hard to see what it was that got to him so much, and hard to know how to help (particularly when they’re worried that trying to help him will feel like “taking sides”).     - Ahsoka takes Anakin’s POV of the Council pretty easily, at least when it comes to him. This is mostly bc she’s not there when there’s a meeting or tension around them, nor was she there when Anakin first arrived, so she just assumes they must genuinely often have issues with him too. She doesn’t see it to the extent Anakin does though, but she recognizes that sometimes he seems to blow things out of proportion when he’s upset, and figures it’ll just blow over once he’s calmed down.     - Pads, on the other hand, is always kind of aware of Anakin’s fears of losing her. He often not-so-subtly looks for reassurances that she loves him and won’t leave him, that she’s feeling alright or not angry/annoyed with him. She chalks it up to his trauma with his mother (and she’s partially right), so even when sometimes it gets on her nerves that he seems to doubt her so much, she tries to remind herself of that and let it go. 

Those closest to him can pick up that Anakin tends to see the negative in things, and is generally really hard on himself. They try to help out by giving praise where it’s due and just overall Being There, but it’s Rough to know they often don’t get through. (Palps, on the other hand, knows how to weaponize this.) 

The saddest part is that I don’t think anyone once thought Anakin was Seriously Ill, partly out of ignorance, partly bc they assumed it had to do with his age/upbringing, and partly bc, eventually, everyone was dealing with trauma and even if someone wanted to send Anakin back to the Temple to have a nap or something, they legit couldn’t bc there was a war going on and he also would never have tolerated it at that point in time.     - Obi-Wan’s the one who worries about all of this the most, because he’s always felt such a huge responsibility for Anakin and loves him a lot, he’s just never fully been able to understand how to get on the same wavelength as Anakin.     - Anakin, too, actually never fully figures out that there is something Going On. Everything’s always overwhelming him and even though he prefers doing things at 100mph, sometimes it seems like there is Too Much going on, and even during peace times it just felt like he couldn’t keep up with everything. He hates internal reflection but also can’t stop overthinking about everything, and so he just ruminates and goes in circles and often just ends up going nowhere when it comes to dealing with things. He tries his hardest all the time, he is ALWAYS trying, but doing stupid stunts, fighting droids, making robots and speeding everywhere all the time is truthfully only a bandaid.     - Being surrounded by those he adores and receiving affection from them/seeing them happy boosts his mood a lot but he doesn’t have enough self-awareness to guess at why his happier moods just won’t last.     - Sometimes he can figure out when he’s being irrational and then just takes it out on himself, which only exacerbates his bad episodes. 

Palpatine doesn’t help. He’s abusive, manipulates Anakin all the time and is the Worst and definitely makes everything Anakin is struggling with harder and I think we should all just punt him into a sun thank you this isn’t a headcanon I just want everyone to know how much I hate him

[quantumfeat72]

everyone is autistic

a compilation of undertale headcanons

Papyrus:

puzzles are a special interest

has a Very Specific morning routine, including that oatmeal with the dinosaur eggs, feeding the rock, and recalibrating all of his puzzles

echolalia (NYEH-HEH-HEH)

hyper-empathy 

does a lot of sensory-seeking stuff (a la running around in the snow wearing a thin costume) because snowdin is really really quiet and he needs to balance it out

Chara:

simultaneously an absolute motormouth and mostly nonverbal; they use ASL to infodump at asriel and narrator-powers to infodump at frisk

doesn’t really like/understand hugs but doesn’t mind them, actively reminds themself to initiate hugs with asriel when he’s upset because they know he likes them

knitting is a happy stim

masks without really meaning to because they’ve internalized the idea that anything abnormal is rude

Frisk:

hates eye contact

gets sensory overload from sound really easily and wears earplugs whenever they have to go to a city

mostly verbal but chara teaches them sign, both for occasional nonverbal spells and when they can’t hear people because of their earplugs

sleeps with 5,000 blankets

always wears a chewy necklace because otherwise they’d chew on their clothes and they used to get in a lot of trouble for that before they fell

wardrobe is multicolored variations on one (1) outfit

good at masking when they need to (mainly for ambassador work), but it exhausts them

hates the texture of any pasta. ramen is better dry

their favorite stim is rubbing soft fabric

Asriel:

touch-starved baby boy

asks chara to lay on him like 3 times a week.  at first they were really scared they’d hurt him but later they’d notice him acting antsy and just flop down on top of him

clothing tags are the bane of his existence

used to get awful sensory overload from showers until he started turning the lights off and leaving a flashlight on the counter instead.

copies chara’s stims sometimes

sees someone fidgeting with something and is overcome by a desire to fidget with That Thing In Particular

(toriel and asgore get their kids matching stim toys so he can copy chara without touching their things)

Alphys:

special interests include engineering and anime

will infodump for 500 years about mew mew kissy cutie in particular

the way her sprite in game sort of bounces when she first meets you?  anxious stim

the way she talks about “keeping secrets” and not letting people know the “real her?”  masking

the way she canonically wears the same kind of labcoat every day?? as i write this is becoming more of a theory than a headcanon

ramen is samefood

hand-flaps to stim but Only when she’s Completely Alone.  got really embarrassed the first time undyne saw her do it but undyne thought it was awesome and encourages her to do it more often

highkey thinks nobody would take her seriously anymore if she wasn’t masking all the damn time

lowkey thinks nobody takes her seriously anyway

“U-undyne I need to t-tell you something........ I think I might be autistic” “Alphys everyone knows you’re autistic and we love you”

Undyne:

diagnosed when she was 3

decided masking was dumb when she was 5 and resolved to be Wholly and Aggressively Herself from then on

martial arts are a special interest and target practice is a kind of stim

scripts important encounters and practices in the mirror

when they get to the surface she goes to an autism $peaks office and tells everyone to leave because “I’m about to commit arson.”

like papyrus, she has a lot of sensory-seeking tendencies and the two of them like to go to loud places and yell together

tried to take frisk somewhere loud once, quickly noticed they weren’t okay, and Did Not Rest until she found somewhere quiet for them to calm down

yells because she loves her friends

Asgore:

can taste even the slightest difference in food and is on a lifelong quest to replicate toriel’s pie recipes

masks most of the time for politics reasons, but his two beautiful autistic children kinda showed him he didn’t need to

started masking again after his beautiful children died because he thinks it’ll help him be “strong” and do what his kingdom “needs him to” (it won’t)

gardening is a special interest

when they get to the surface he makes autism $peaks illegal in the monster kingdom

Toriel:

special interests include baking, puns, and education

pie is samefood

has a routine in the ruins she hasn’t broken from in 100 years

not great at telling when other people aren’t okay, and tends to assume she’s reading too much into things even if she’s not.  generally relies on people telling her when something’s wrong (which chara doesn’t ever)

her favorite stim is a kid sleeping on top of her

Muffet:

has three samefood recipes she’s made so many times she’s absolutely perfected them

black and white thinking (either the human is evil and hates spiders or they’re fine and we’ll let them through)

loves the aesthetic of tea but hates actual tea (”muffet pours you a cup of spiders”)

Napstablook

gets sensory overload even as a ghost and does Not want to know what sort of sensory experience having a body involves

doesn’t usually mask but thinks they’re Supposed To and apologizes for existing a lot

stims by listening to the same music for hours

dissociates

Mettaton:

the sound of his own robotic voice is his favorite stim

[system-of-a-feather]

I hope your hiatus goes well! As for a more interesting ask tho, if you could have any bird in the world be your pet(with no limitations, like u could fulfill all their needs and everything), what kind of bird would you choose?

(TW, animal welfare; animal neglect, animal SH, infodump; Putting that out there because uh, I went on a tangent cause I am passionate; Short caps)

Man that is such a controversial topic for me XD Because I’m very firm in the sense that raptors and sort shouldn’t be in captivity beyond conservation purposes (and falconry for conservation) and if they are, they should be given maximum range - and for parrots that are in mass bred in environments not suited for them and its a large issue that we’ve kind of dug a whole into, so parrots shouldn’t be pets, but if you have to they should be companions with almost the entire time out of the cage so like XD

I have a reactive response to birds as pets but the theoretical “could fufill all their needs and everything” does cover some of that - though I also would still have to sit and question if the dynamic between a human and a wild bird could ever simultaneously exist with having all their needs fufilled so I’m sitting here rubbing my chin as a overly complicate an otherwise relatively simple question.

In leu of the honor of the original question and what I get the intent to be (aka, if there was ABSOLUTELY no issues and it was 100% possible to maintain both a human-bird bond with said animal while having their full life) it would probably be a toss up between a Harpy Eagle, Barn Owl, Secretary Bird, and California Condor.... maybe a penguin or cormorant if I had a really nice water bed. OR A RAVEN SINCE THEY BRING SHINIES BACK. It really would be a different answer to who you ask in the system though. I probably would go uh.... I actually really don’t know. I might actually go Snowy Owl..? Maybe? Aesthetically I’d go Secretary Bird but personality wise I’d like a Raven hmmm

I really can’t put a finger on a favorite bird. Raven I feel would probably be the easiest to both have a fully wild and free relationship with but also an individual bond that would be enjoyable, but I dunno. Its really hard of a question to answer

As for the more technical - I would probably take the question and warp it to the alternative loop hole question of - hey, you are saying I could provide for an animal’s needs entirely?

I would take in the honest to god most torn up - feather plucking - self mutilating - anxious depressed bird; probably a cockatoo breed, and take it in.

I actually have a habit of trying to take in really anxious, sad, or mistreated cockatiels in and trying to bring them up and let them behaviorally adjust to people and other birds a lot and its actually a dream goal to help parrots get a renewal on life since some live just as long as we do, but often are much much much more neglected throughout their entire life as dependents.

Like I can go on and on about it, but a lot of the longer living birds (cockatoos, african greys, etc) can be bred for money, bought for aesthetic, and treated poorly, abandoned or put for adoption and bounce from home to home to home that was not prepared for them and getting so many behavioral issues and “bird mental health” issues as I put simply and some really just dont get the chance to have a happy life. Some have a good owner until they are 30, then their owner dies and their owner’s family doesn’t want to care for them so they are sold or abandoned or put up for adoption and after living a great life are put into the cycles others do so like

One of my dreams if I ever get the money would be to legitimately have an Aviary and / or be a part of a parrot rehabilitation and rescue center XD I was actually up front with my fiance when I started dating that my future with caring for birds and adopting / fostering ones in need is something he would have to accept as my package / baggage or I will not under any circumstances proceed with a relationship XD

AND IM RANTING SO AT THE ANON THAT SAID RANT GO AHEAD I WISH I GOT THIS DONE FOR YOU BECAUSE I HAVEN’T FOUND A TOPIC TO RANT ABOUT FOR YOU AND HERE I AM RANTING ON THE WRONG ANON

But like, since I’m part ways on this tangent, lemme share one of my princesses that I’ve been caring for. (Quick photo below the keep reading)

[cue Riku gushing about their bird]

We got her from a previous owner that really couldn’t care for her and named her “Crash” because she kept crashing every time she flew (which is btw very dangerous - even if I noticed she seemed to learn how to “crash safely) and I really didn’t find the name cute cause it clearly was an issue - so I renamed her to Avery Rose - Avery being like Ivory + Avian and Rose cause I like Rose; but she also was REALLY terrified of hands and people and if a hand was within like 2 feet of her she’d panic - fly (or try to) and crash - and if you got her she’d bite like, right through your hand. I figure (vet wasn’t sure and didn’t want to do unnecessary invasive procedures to be sure) that she either has some joint / motor issue that makes it hard to fly or she has poor vision that makes her anxious. 

She also would pluck a lot out of stress and anxiety and isolation and stuff cause cockatiels are social birds and they need a lot of stimulus form their owner and/or other birds. She ALSO really didn’t get along with other birds either and would pretty much kinda avoid them. Even until today she kinda seems to miss the social cues of the other birds or not meld in since like, most birds get excited when small treats or “cookies” are brought over and they start pacing and heading to the food dishes, but she just kinda like.... waits or shows no interest XD

She’s a really unique personality. But anyways, my mom took her in originally and uh... as a typically kind of neglectful mom does, just kinda found her “too difficult” and just gave up on her, and I saw that and was like OH HELL NAH JUST CAUSE SHES REALLY ANXIOUS, SOCIALLY ABNORMAL, BITES HARD AND CRASHES DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO ABANDON HER so despite technically not signing up for it I was like “Mom she’s mine and I am taking over her care what you are doing is kind of cruel” 

And like, one of the flock members we have is the son of my first cockatiel who I helped raise (aside from his parents who primarily raised him) and socialized as he is now a bit of my personal emotional support birb, but with insistent help from me and I’m guessing bird support from a slightly younger and annoying boy birb that really liked her, she actually managed to learn out to fly REALLY well (like my boy, my son here literally like, kept doing small loops around and following her around until she got it and literally repetitively flew up and down to help her figure out how to land it melted my heart) and she actually really likes me specifically holding her and coddling her or hugging her, which I think might be because it might give her security.

She still plucks as it is one of those things that can follow a bird for life (though its getting better) and she is still anxious and really odd in social behaviors to the other birds, but she really seems to function in a happy life and she has a bird partner and a human mother and unlike before she can fly like any other bird and crashes rarely ever and like

She’s one of the things that I am most proud of seeing and lights up my world and I am SO god damn proud of her and she has LOWKEY been an inspiration for my recovery sometimes cause GOD do I love her XD

Her and her partner / “my boy / son” are the two birds that follow me to and from college and they seem to actually like car trips now? XD But they are my roommates and I love them immensely ;w;

Anon: What bird would you have if you could have any of them and treat them perfectly to their need

Me: DID YOU ASK ABOUT BIRD WELFARE, TECHNICALITIES AND PROBLEMS WITH BIRDS AS PETS (other than typically domesticated ones), MY DREAMS ABOUT SAVING ALL BIRDS IN THE WORLD AND THE STORY OF ONE OF MY BABY GIRLS AND HER MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY?!

I apologize I do this sometimes :v I hope you enjoy my infodump / ramble

-Riku (Host)

[welcometotheocverse]

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

[fortissimohands-archive]

ok im gonna turn into a bojack horseman blog real quick because the last few episodes came out and I have Thoughts

this is kinda rambly but whatevs, you gotta get the infodump out

-it’s … a LOT harder for me to empathise with BoJack after the real Sarah Lynn story came out. I sort of assumed that his guilt over it was just because he took her on the bender (and was also a dick when she was a child) but the revelation that he waited 17 minutes to do anything, when he could have saved her, is just ... bad. especially since it was never mentioned before now which makes it seem like a retcon

-also, people are gonna try to argue with the above point by saying he was also drunk/high at the time, but I don’t think he was? I know they were on a bender together but we dont know how drunk/high he was as of the hotel/planetarium scene. im underage and ive never drunk alcohol or taken a drug stronger than ibuprofen so i might be wrong here, but I feel like someone whos sober enough to plan out how to avoid getting in trouble for that (right down to the detail of calling himself on her phone) is sober enough to not wait 17 fucking minutes to get someone medical attention

-Im lowkey upset about the lack of closure with hollyhock? we never even find out for sure if Pete told her that it was BoJack who gave maddy alcohol poisoning, theres a few comments that imply she does but her complaints about him not giving her space are perfectly valid by themselves and she doesn't really seem to be angry until after the interview comes out so who knows

-personally, based on how Pete hesitates at the end of A Quick One, While He’s Away, I feel like he doesn’t tell her, probably because he sees how much they look alike and guesses she might be related to him, BUT shes very suspicious that its him because lets face it that's exactly the sort of thing he would do, which is why she wants to keep her distance in the next episode

-I have mixed feelings on her letter never being shown? on one hand it feels kinda cheap that we never see it even though its arguably the main turning point that pushes him over the edge, but on the other hand I think its best this way because theres nothing she could write that wouldn't feel underwhelming after all the build up. sort of like how I lowkey hoped for a reveal of what Erica looks like, but I also knew that nothing they could animate would really be able to match all the jokes 

-also, random weird theory: when he calls hollyhock after reading the letter, it says the line is disconnected. except it sounds like hollyhock saying that? and her voicemail message up until then is “leave a message … if you’re a hundred”, so it’s pretty clear that she doesn't get voicemails often, and its not a stretch to assume bojack is the only person who would call her (her friends and dads would probably text). conclusion: her line isn’t disconnected, she just changed her voicemail to get him to stop trying to call her

-the fact that Judah's band is called “SPECTRUM of enchantment” confirms he is autistic and no I do not take constructive critisicm

-I fucking loved the reprise of Don’t Stop Dancing, which is my fave song from the series by far, but I wish it was longer and reprised all the verses from gina’s version.

-it was kinda weird that butterscotch was secretariat? they managed to pull it off pretty well but still, its weird how its never explained. I guess its because neither of them were developed as much as the other characters so having them both would have meant having two characters with only a few lines, but both were needed for the plot (butterscotch for the revelation that he maybe did care about bojack and Beatrice,secretariat for the poem)

-honestly I LOVED The View From Halfway Down. both the poem and the episode as a whole

-also. my finale predictions were basically this: it wont end with bojacks suicide, because weve spent 6 seasons following this guy and if he dies itll all be for nothing, but theres way too much drowning symbolism for it to not pay off in some way. so my best guess was a failed suicide attempt by drowning. so yay i was right!

-anyone else seeing symbolism with Hollywoob? like yeah, its a nice conclusion to both the Hollywoo gag and the recurring gag of mr peanutbutters shitty sign company, but the original reason the D was stolen was for Diane, back when Diane/Mr PB/BoJack was an actual love triangle. and I feel like the fact that it got replaced represents her choosing neither of them, but the fact that it’s a B instead of a D represents that shes changed a lot since then?

-alternatively: looking at it from mr peanutbutters perspective, the D was for Diane, back when they were married. the years of Hollywoo represented their shitty marriage and divorce (we know diane hates big gestures, so their relationship was doomed starting from when the D was stolen). and the B is for BoJack, since mr PB is one of the only characters who hasn’t at least implied that he wants to keep his distance from bojack

-im so glad we get to actually see how the voicemail affected diane. as well as address the fact that, intentionally or not, hes been making it her job to “save” him and that's not fair to her

-honestly im a big fan of the theory that BJ does die and episode 16 isn't real. I know its less of a theory and more of a fandom retcon because the ending came across as rushed and too open-ended (because honestly it kinda did), but the fact that the first shot is the last shot makes the theory feel really fitting

-my take on that theory is that the last 2 episodes are bojack’s hell? sort of like a Good Place-esque hell where you’re trapped in an infinite cycle of things being awful, but just not bad enough for you to realise you’re in hell. my guess is that first he goes through the hell of the dinner party (which he mentions is a recurring dream), but eventually he gets used to it so he moves on to the showcase, after which he ends up in a never-ending cycle of “waking up”, going to prison, going to the wedding, talking to diane, and starting over

-especially since when diane is persuading him to tell the truth about sarah lynn, one of the points she makes is that if he stops lying, he won’t have to constantly feel like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. so now hes stuck eternally being scared of what will happen once hes out of prison, which will never happen because it resets on the roof. he’s made his bed, now it’s time for him to lie in it. forever.

[thegeminisage]

Five Headcanons: Snow, Celes, Faith Connors, aaaaaaaand Papyrus

THANK U

SNOW: 

cannot read. haha im just kidding (or am i)

sees people not liking him as a challenge. he wants to be the Most Likable Laid Back Guy Ever. sometimes this works in his favor like it did with lightning and sometimes it’s a little overbearing and creepy like with hope (and noel, eventually)

on the flip side he also has a way of…drawing out people’s badness. lowkey spoilers bc you havent gotten there yet but noel within 5 minutes of meeting him winds up talking about some of his most deeply-held pain. i think if people like snow they feel comfortable telling him that stuff and if they don’t he makes them angry enough that it comes out anyway. so he’s like accidentally a human therapy dog without even realizing it.

i think they might actually mention this in canon somewhere in like some of the start menu infodumps or one of the light novels or something but dude was an orphan so i’m sure he wants like All the children. good thing serah also likes kids

this is a REALLY BAD AND PROBLEMATIC HEADCANON but after witnessing them in game 3 i think that lightning, despite being strictly into ladies the other 99% of the time, would have wound up dating him eventually if he wasn’t, like, with serah. i don’t think she’s carrying a torch for him in canon or anything, because it just wouldn’t occur to her to think of her sister’s fiance who is also a dude that way, but in an alternative universe where he wasn’t her sister’s fiance they would have wound up working out pretty well

CELES:

i think like lightning she’s mostly into ladies so when locke comes along and she’s into him it’s sort of like ??? oh damn okay

i like celes/terra fine but i strongly prefer a sisterly relationship because they’re SUCH good foils. i think when celes was around terra prior to the start of the game she tried to find ways to be kind to her whenever possible and despite the amnesia part of terra remembered that always and so she just likes being around her

prior to the game singing was a guilty pleasure. maybe not opera singing but i think celes really just loved to do it, which is why she made a passable maria

i think as a soldier celes was denied things like dresses and bows and just taking pleasure in femininity so secretly she actually had a lot of fun getting dolled up to play maria, what really killed her was the crowds

having survived her own suicide attempt celes is very good at talking people off of their metaphorical ledges. i think in the post-game world where shit is marginally better people would have less of a reason overall to want to die but i also think she’d make it a point to patrol popular jumper spots and look after anyone she came across because she understands that despair so acutely 

FAITH:

my girl faith is ARO AS HELL!! it’s possible she’s ace too (maybe lesbian oriented, or just aro and a lesbian) but definitely aro. is there such a thing as a 3-person QP relationship? i’m really into the faith/plastic/icarus dynamic but like no allo

loooooves junk food. faith probably eats like a horse to begin with because of all the energy expends being a parkour superhero but i’m sure she eats a lot of deeply unhealthy shit whenever possible. so when dogen tries to snag her for dinner with like his fancy-pants roast duck she’s like “ugh spare me”

speaking of dogen, i think faith genuinely cares for him and wants him to care for her in a father/daughter kinda way (and i think in his own way he does, or at the very least by the end she’s earned his respect, which is almost better). he’ll never be her dad, or noah, but i feel like everyone else would be like “he’s a creep” and she’d be the one going “yeah okay BUT”

no one knows what happened to faith and cat when she was little except noah and nomad & icarus is the first person she tells after the game is over. i think she’d tell plastic too eventually but icarus is Better At Feelings

doesnt like or plan on having kids but has a secret soft spot for animals, since seeing them is such a rarity in glass. glass doesnt have a huge population of strays but every once in awhile she’ll come across one and she always feeds it if she can

PAPYRUS:

LOVES halloween. we talked about this in stream a bit the other day but he’d loved giving out candy and seeing costumes and putting together his own costume (and sans’s costume lol) - it might even be his favorite holiday

right-handed! i think most monsters are left-handed to reflect how most humans are right-handed, but papyrus is a bit of an odd duck among his kind and also obsessed with humans, so him being right-handed feels Correct

easily just as OP as sans, except duh of course he doesnt ACTUALLY want to hurt you, so that’s why you don’t ever see anything truly scary out of him. he COULD do exactly what sans does, he just doesn’t want to, and he never will

cat person. evidence: dislikes dogs because dogs like bones. sans is a dog person so it only makes sense that papyrus is a cat person. after the game he adopts All The Cats 

papyrus is one of those people who is scarily good at video games. like he knows all the ins and outs of different ways to spin tetris blocks and he can calculate the hit point curve of a jrpg character as they level on the fly and he can break basically any game mechanics down to the raw numbers and figure out the best most efficient way of doing things because Its Just Puzzles and thats what my guy does

(send me a character & i’ll list 5 headcanons)

[pleasewriteusernamehere]

THANK YOU

Yeah he defo isn’t a tour guide ik it might work better for fan service but this bitch sits in the basement and looks up cool history shit all day and LOVES IT

He catorgorises all the weird history shit and gets to write as much or as little about it as he likes bc it’s not his job to write the script for tour guides (even though he’s practically memorised it anyways)

HOWEVER please consider: after hours tsukkiyama museum dates

Tsukki taking yams to the museum when it’s closed

Only looking at the stuff in there that interests one/both of them

Yams asking all sorts of random questions only he would ask and tsukki falling in love with him more and stuttering out the answer bc ofc he accidentally memorised all sorts of random crap

Tsukki showing yams the exhibits he’s particularly interested in and did the most research on (and it’s probably inconsequence like the type of metal used for a shield or the qualities of a particular crop growing area) and trying not to talk too much so he doesn’t bore his boyfriend and bc he’s lowkey embarrassed

Yams egging him on anyways bc he loves hearing his boyfriend sound interested and invested in something until finally tsukki breaks

Poor yams listening to tsukki infodumping extensively and in ridiculous levels of detail about random shit and rambling awkwardly because he did all the research but he sure didn’t write the script and moaning because ‘they cut this part out of the tour guide speech but it’s the best bit’ (it really isn’t)

Yams loving listening to tsukki actually TALK anyways and falling in love with him more and then awkwardly asking questions because he knows tsukki is dying to answer them and well damn he’s actually kind of really curious now

Tsukki nervously telling yams to shut him up if he’s talking too much and on the rare occasion that he actually is, yams does so by pulling him down for a kiss

Them staying in there WAY too long and realising they’ve barely seem half the place but it just means more dates so neither minds

I just need these two to be nerds because they’re pretty smart and like,,, yams works at a tech shop and tsukki works at a museum? They’re suck fucking nerds fight me

i see a lot of fics/hcs of museum tour guide tsukishima and those are valid and all BUT … this is a guy who does not like people. he does not like socializing. he would probably hate taking an entire day to teach groups of visitors about this or that. but tsukishima IS good at organization, collecting and analyzing info, and studying and researching. so what i’m saying is: please consider tsukishima kei, your local museum archivist.