#might delete this later !

[void-dude]

I have several AUs, headcanons, Comics and drawings that I'm working on at the SAME TIME so here are some memes to convey my happy stress!

[pandeesall]

daud wip i might never finish

[skibasyndrome]

I'm being such a baby rn, can you guys just...... tell me what your wilmons are doing rn real quick? 😭

[cactusisconfused]

I’m having ✨thoughts✨

Aroace(?) Soap

-

Soap doesn’t understand why he feels this way for Ghost- he’s never felt this way before. Not for anyone. No woman, no man- no one.

Yet when Soap is around Simon, his mind swarms with thoughts he’s never had before. Thoughts of wanting to hold the man close. To listen to his deep, gravely, stupidly handsome British accent.

He’s so scared that it’s love- romantic love.

Soap isn’t emotionless, he loves with his whole mind and heart to the point it’s fucked him over in more ways than one- but never has he felt this.

He’s dated of course, because that’s what you’re supposed to be doing growing up. He’d dated a few girls. They were pretty, but that idea only rendered as a fact, with no emotion behind it. Like how a sunset can be beautiful but you wouldn’t take a sunset out on a date.

His relationship started when he was fourteen. A girl confessed her love, and Soap thought that’s all it took to be in love, for someone to say a ‘magic’ word. He didn’t understand that he was supposed to feel something.

She would try to kiss him, hug him, and he would give it back but it was never honest. Kissing felt wrong, felt nothing like how it seemed in the movies. They only lasted a few weeks.

He dated another girl a year later, his older sister Leah, had put them on a blind date. The girl was sweet, and again objectively pretty, but he felt…nothing.

He’s heard people talk about love, about the butterflies in one’s stomach, how everything would seem to zero in on one person. But as he looked at her from across the table, he felt nothing. He tried again, thinking that he just needed to wait for something to click.

She tried to advance things, Soap couldn’t get past taking his shirt off before making a piss poor excuse to leave. He doesn’t know why he felt like he needed to leave- why his skin was crawling at the thought of being intimate. But he did, and when he got an earful the next day from her, he had no good argument.

The girl had looked at Soap for a long moment before gently asking if Soap was gay. If that’s why his kisses never felt true, why there was no love- romantic love.

Soap at the time agreed with her, one for an out and two as it felt like a solid explanation for the way he was acting. He’d never felt anything towards guys, but maybe that’s because he’s never tried, he had never thought about it.

Soap had just turned seventeen when a guy friend of his admitted his attraction to Soap. Again, Soap looked at the man, dark brown hair, decent build, a kind man. Soap agreed regardless, already hating himself for going through with it. But maybe- maybe he is into guys and just…needs to get to know him more.

The two go on many dates and they last for almost a year. Soap could almost convince himself that he was truly in love.

Looking back, he wonders if he only felt that way because this man was the only one who saw Soap for who he was, and not the face he puts on for everyone else.

But Soap knows he was pushing his luck, knows he was leading the man on. The guilt had eaten him whole.

Three good people, all gave their undying love to Soap, and he gave nothing in return.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t feel how they felt- doesn’t know whats wrong with him. Why he can’t feel romance, why he’s never wanted sex.

He joins the military the next year, and he forgets about those feelings. Relationships aren’t meant to happen between soldiers and the one night stands are easy enough to dodge- both from men and women.

He had completely forgotten about all of it.

He had.

He really had.

Until Simon fucking Riley.

Until he saw that beast of a man dressed as the fucking grim reaper.

It wasn’t in an instant that he felt these new emotions. It was well after Las Almas and well after they catch Makarov.

Throughout that time, Soap and Simon got close, closer than either had truly expected. They flirted, though it was all banter of course.

Until it wasn’t.

Until Soap realized as he watched Ghost move through a warehouse through a sniper optic, that he found he meant it.

Then he started thinking and thinking. He couldn’t stop.

He couldn’t stop himself from getting jealous when anyone else looked at Simon with a suggestive glance. How he couldn’t stop thinking about holding him close, closer than Soap had let anyone before. How he had thought about pulling Simon close and have his lips meet the other’s.

It scares him.

Even if this is love- romantic love- he doesn’t feel like it’s enough. That he wouldn’t be a good enough partner, like how he was with the others in the past. What if these thoughts are the same as the last guy’s, he’s just going through some mental hoops to make him think it’s romantic?

Not to mention, Simon is his fucking superior- and his closest friend.

If he admitted his ‘love’ and for some reason Simon agreed, what if it goes away? What if he can’t recuperate once more? He’ll ruin their friendship and Soap can’t bare the thought of seeing Ghost take place of Simon.

He’s in turmoil and has no idea what to do with it.

He can’t tell gaz, he wouldn’t understand why Soap feels like he’s going crazy for feeling romantic for the first time. And like hell can he tell price, for the same reasons, plus insubordination. Price is a chill man, Soap knows that, but why stir a pot that’s already way past boiling.

So he’s stuck, with nothing but his journal and swarming feelings that make no sense.

-

Lmao, imagine identifying as aro ace for years and then boom, nada. Hahhahahahha. Definitely not projecting on him.

Definitely.

Anyway.

Have a good day (●’◡’●)ﾉ

[ghostforwhat]

i didn’t want to hijack any post but I want to ramble abt the reason that people struggle with viewing Will and Hannibal’s relationship as something not romantic is very much rooted in heteronormativity and the overall portrayal of love in a straight sense. Like i honestly think they can’t see it because they’ve never been presented with such an overtly queer interpretation of love, ie the desire to be seen, to be known, while dreading it at the same time. Like they see the show and they think that it can’t be love because love in a straight sense is generally seen as healing or uplifting, they conflate love with hope and only view it through the lens of light, as something to search for and be healed when it’s finally found and announce it loudly as a triumph to consummate it. Whereas looking through a queer scope, love is often sudden and awful and a constant struggle whether its with yourself or with another, it’s pulled into a dark place and kept hidden and protected, a possessiveness at finally having something be truly yours and an equal wretched fear at losing it again through your own hesitation. Queer love can be explicit but oftentimes in literature, in films, in worldly experience, there’s a necessity to hold back and to obfuscate the true depth of feeling in front of others. Like multiple times on screen, we hear the most profound declaration possible from both of them but it falls flat on heteronormative ears because it’s not always a pleasant interpretation, it’s something that makes them feel ashamed for wanting and they cringe away but when queer people hear it, they stop short and go still like a train is coming down the tracks, to be presented with someone who sees the worst in you and delights in it is nothing short of an impossibility, it’s literal unconditional love spoken aloud to each other with no room for doubt and a socially acceptable kind of love is rarely like that. It’s only announced to the two who share it, there’s no need to justify or prove or even celebrate in front of others because in that moment where you are finally known everything else slips away. It doesn’t require explanation or declaration because the person who matters already understands.

[red-sneakers]

Fun fact for smut fic writers: Did you know that short people can top? 😱 It’s true! You don’t have to make a canonically shorter character taller than another character to write them as the top! It is, in fact, physically and emotionally possible for a shorter person to be dominant!

[paunchbunny]

ough staying with a friend in LA and oml the weed here is actually performance enhancing.

ive been pigging out on great food and so many snacks and treats and i can't stop it's a nightmare. im uncomfortably full but I can't help just needing to taste more. literally have to move the food out of my field of view or I'll get my pudgy lil hands on it and then it'll be gone :(

[thepenultimateword]

So I found the first two paragraphs of a story in my Google docs and it made me realize something about myself 😆 so I decided to make this to illustrate what it’s like in my brain when it comes to this favorite dynamic

Imma try to continue it, basically if you like Arranged or Love Thy Enemy, it’s almost the same plot just different characters/situation 😅

The very specific dynamic of royalty and arranged marriage is only in two of these, but this is brief list of the writing I included in this video. It’s everything I’ve written with the strong woman x weak(er) man dynamic (at least off the top of my head):

Fantasy

White Woods (monster hunter x witch)

Love Thy Enemy (empress x general)

Arranged (warrior queen x prince)

Heroes and Villains

Lotus (villain x civilian)

Slightly Sidetracked (villain x sidekick)

Sci-fi

Too Tall (Military Captain x Station Commander)

A Human Captain (Captain x crew member)

I Don’t Understand (soldier x civilian)

[ckgrouchy]

WIP, drop your suggestions

[hmmbo]

i need to lick a fuckign robot and taste iron on my tongue and cut my fingers on the edges of its plating okkkkkkkkkk. you wouldnt understand

[void-dude]

Temporarily closing my inbox! I need to sit down and answer them, I'm sorry! Once I manage to sort through a good chunk I'll open my inbox again!

Also next Bill in therapy and Shapes and pines Update is on the works!

I also will be cleaning up my blog!!! Like deleting stuff, sorry if something goes missing that you liked I am just a bit iffy with my own stuff lmao

[pinkalineprowess]

Bro... Wrightworth fanfic idea?

So we v often see fics of Miles being hella awkward bc romance is new territory for him, right?

Cute trope! Fun, silly, wholesome, funni noises, what's not to love?

Hear me out: A fic that has the reversal... where Phoenix's own awkwardness abt being romanced or something dating/romance related

Might be unrelated? But like bro got absolutely TRAUMATIZED by Dahlia... it'd make sense he'd be rly scared to show romantic affection and perhaps be very confused to receive genuine love (well, outside of the cute things Iris had done for him and vice versa), bc he saw how annoyed Dahlia was.. And ofc Iris's affection towards him was genuine (eventually, it's not specified when exactly she actually fell in love with him during that relationship), but some of it was indeed not real at first...

And I admit idk abt relationships (very inexperienced lol), but I feel being single for a v long time would make someone need extra time to get used to showing/receiving romantic affection? Esp if they've had relationship trauma, and if nobody's rly had a crush on them for the longest time

Also the fact he himself is indeed portrayed as being awkward in the games, esp w/ that sheepish sprite of his and also he stammers often, caught off guard a lot. I tbh don't remember what usually prompts this, besides insults @ him?

BUT ANYWAYS it would be so cute to see, funni faces... and I am a SUCKER for romantic Miles ,,,

IK THIS IS DUMB BUT I HAD THIS ON MY MIND ALL DAY... BUT ALSO I KINDA FORGOT MY EXACT THOUGHTS SO I HAD TO IMPROVISE IN CASE NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE OOPS

[fl00mie]

i'm sorry y'all i think i've been a bit inactive these days, i've been struggling a lot with drawing lately and it's so fucking stressful because i have a BUNCH of ideas in my head but my hand just won't help (i said this exact same thing like a week ago), main thing i want to finish is the waiting for you drawing but aaaahhdhf</3 i try to take a rest from that drawing from time to time but it's the same, nothing comes out as i want!!! i don't know what is wrong with me. also my sleeping schedule being so fucked up doesn't help at all, slept at 7am yesterday and it's currently 5am, i think i won't sleep "tonight"

[aka-indulgence]

This is random but there was this game app available on android that had you play as a little arrow/cursor in someone’s phone, and your job was to deliver data/send messages for the system (who’s goal is to become human somehow), and there’s a virus character who’s face is literally (✿◕‿◕)

The backhround is those 80s(?) grid with neon purple and blue colors and there was a banger synth bgm,

I loved that game but I cant find it, its so specific 😭 searching on google hard orz

[robotpepsi]

Hello! This is a little fanart I made of Draco from Brawl Stars. I already know that I will hate it in a couple hours, so I MIGHT erase it from this world.

Hope you like it! <33

[taikono2000]

how it feels to get TCC content on my for you page (I’ve never been a part of it but it’s a small price to pay for Zero Day Content)