#might delete idk how to feel
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Shitty quality flexing but I felt Good looking at myself which is a big step 🩶
(He/Him)
#might delete idk how to feel#I covered my face bc the Autism Stare made me look zoned out xD#lgbt nsft#nonbinary nsft#bi nsft#nblm nsft#nblnb nsft#t4t nsft#nb nsft#ftm nsft#ftm t4t
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For old times sake
#dsmp#tommyinnit#philza#technoblade#dsmp fanart#i miss them sometimes.#also drew c!will here but idk how we feel abt that and i still have instincts from 2021 twitter. so#i. whited him out. for now lol#might delete later eye dee kay
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Literally no thoughts just Gojo after your wedding carrying you over the threshold of your hotel room. You’re not leaving for your honeymoon until the morning but he nearly trips on the doorframe in his haste.
“You really don’t need to carry me—”
“But it’s tradition, we need to consummate the marriage!” he insists. Within seconds his lips are against yours and he’s fumbling with the light switch, and you finally swat his hand away and just beg him to take you to the bed.
He works the zipper of your dress down, part of him sad that he’s not going to see you in this gorgeous gown again, but then it reveals your white lace lingerie and the groan he lets out is broken and guttural and desperate.
This is far from the first time he’s seen you like this, but there’s something about this moment here and now that makes it so much more intense, so much more intimate and he just never wants to let you go.
“Satoru,” you whisper, and his breath hitches.
He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. “Shh, I know. Just lemme take care of you, like I promised.”
And when he sees the gold band on his fourth finger pressing into the skin of your hips as he sheaths himself inside of you, he nearly loses himself, sending up a prayer to whatever gods are listening that he can keep his promise to keep you safe and happy forever.
#I’m so drunk rn I’m sorry if this is incoherent#I just came home from a wedding and am feeling so sappy#also I have to be up tomorrow at 6am for work#can’t wait to be hungover 🫶🏼#anyway marrying Gojo would be amazing#I love him and I just wanna kiss him and hold him and let him know how special he is#oh god I’m gonna be so embarrassed and might delete this when I wake up#so revel in it now I guess?#idk it’s probably not good lol#gojo x reader#Gojo Satoru x reader#gojo x reader fluff#Gojo x reader smut#Gojo Satoru x reader smut#jjk smut#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#Gojo Satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Joker in drag bcs
#idk how to feel abt this yet#might delete later#batman#batjokes#dcu#joker#dc comics#joker fanart#batjokes fanart#batman×joker#dc fanart#batman × joker#the joker#joker in drag#drag#drag queen#garfeeart
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NCT HORROR VHS TAPES
#nctinc#nct#taeyong#jaehyun#useroro#happy halloween (it's november 5th)#read the plots <333#mine*edits#mine*movies#idk how i feel about these i might delete later idk#i had a lot of fun tho heheh#the lack of mark in these is just unbelievable
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we have not touched the stars,
nor are we forgiven, which brings us back
to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes,
not from the absence of violence, but despite
the abundance of it.
#i need them dead *remembers what happened* Wait#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#jayce x viktor#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik fanart#? idk if that’s a tag people use#arcane fanart#viktor league of legends#viktor lol#jayce lol#jayce league of legends#idk how to feel ab this im kinda just posting it might delete later
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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it’s a selfish thought and arthur knows it because merlin has spent so much time hiding a vital part of his existence, his very being, all because of arthur. so he presses it down into the deepest recesses of himself and focuses on doing everything he can to support merlin, to give merlin the world he deserves. a world where he is free.
but sometimes, when he’s alone in his room surrounded by his endless responsibilities, he will think to himself, i am nothing.
merlin and the old religion hold him as this once and future king, but no matter what they say, he can’t understand why they think any of this is about him. it was never him. everything he’d done, every accomplishment and fight he’d won had never been his to claim. he was a fraud. he was a lonely king with nothing to his name beyond the blood on his hands, the blood staining his every crevice.
he isn’t the once and future king. he doesn’t deserve any of the praise. he is the moon, a piece of rock in the sky that shines only because of the sun. without the sun, the moon is worthless. without the sun, no one would have ever looked at the moon twice.
arthur had never been proud of his mistakes and his inaction when it came to his father’s slaughter, but he had been proud of the things he had done to keep his kingdom and his people safe and healthy and happy. he has fought and fought and fought only to discover he had never even landed a punch. every knockout, every victory he had held up to hide the ugly nothingness of his true, empty self was never his to hold. with the discovery of merlin’s magic, any worthiness he thought he’d earned had slipped through his fingers like sand through a sieve.
merlin is beautiful and powerful. merlin is a god amongst men, a gift given to this world, given to arthur, and for what?
this prophecy for arthur was always about merlin. he carried the weight, he fought and fought and fought and he won, merlin was the one who had carried this kingdom on his back until they reached the safety of the golden era of the current day.
it’s a selfish thought, to be thinking of himself in relation to merlin’s magic when merlin has suffered every single day because of arthur. and yet, in those moments, he can’t help but wonder why he was born at all, why he was named savior of a group of people who would’ve never died if only he had stayed unmade, a whisper of nothingness in his mother’s womb.
his first breath caused a massacre, a genocide, and yet he was given an angel and a title and a prophecy of greatness he could never actually fulfill.
he would never tell merlin about these thoughts he had. merlin would end up feeling guilty somehow, would carry the weight of arthur’s worthlessness even more by taking on the deserved revulsion arthur had for himself.
no, he couldn’t tell merlin about this. merlin would tell him he was wrong, would try to talk him up and fix it. would use that endless kindness to tell arthur endless stories about his own importance. merlin would shine his sunshine on arthur until arthur forgot he was just a lump of rock. he wouldn’t rest until arthur loved himself, until arthur took all the credit for merlin’s own accomplishments again.
no, he would keep this to himself. he would give merlin the attention and love he deserves. this story isn’t actually about arthur pendragon. it never was.
#idk what this is#anyway#sorry#me? projecting? never#also to clarify uh this is obviously not how i feel personally about arthur!!#i love that man i just wanted to explore how the insecurities we see him have in the show would look post magic reveal#merlin#arthur pendragon#bbc merlin#bbc arthur#merthur#it’s hinted at more than anything though#character study#character introspection#might delete later#ficlet#angst#my writing
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since today is a magpie lore day apparently, i feel like oversharing (ya kno, what counts for oversharing for this guy on this here microblogging patform)
when i was very small, i accidentally caught a movie on my grandparents' tv. i was banished to the country house for the summer and bored out of my mind, so i spent my days disappearing into the forest, drawing, reading, and sneaking bits of tv time when no one was there to catch me
anyway. the movie. i remembered very little of it afterwards, just that it had body horror practical effects(?), snakes(?) and small shriveled heads with teeth(?). i was especially afraid of the small shriveled heads, but the body horror was very difficult to stomach too.
i had nightmares for weeks (and couldn't tell anyone why, of course, or that i was even having them, because then i would be Found Out), and even after it more or less left me i would still get jumpscared by the sudden memory of it years into my life.
as i was very young and my memory was very spotty, i couldn't figure out for years what the movie was. i thought, maybe if i could, then i would watch it and find out that it's not that bad at all, right?
(i'm a huge weenie when it comes to horror movies. i can't even watch most thrillers because they are too scary for me. i nearly fled the theater while watching 'i, legend', which was the only time i almost left the movies, that's how bad it is for me lmao)
a few years ago i finally found out what it was. it was beetlejuice (1988). from sporadic screengrabs and general vibes i connected the dots. so that's problem solved, right? i can just watch it and be done with it, right? right?
WRONG
i absolutely cannot watch it. i even tried going for a 'everything great about' video for beetlejuice and failed at minute 4 out of 20 because a jumpscare send me into an anxiety attack. when i was at dragoncon earlier this year, there was so much beetlejuice-related extravaganza and so many cosplayers that i was bombarded with the accursed green-black-white combo almost anywhere i went. it was! an experience! made all the more ironic since i spent most of my time there cosplaying as fizzarolli -- you know, the guy who shares an actor with broadway's beetlejuice, alex brightman
so like. at this moment, the most involved i can get with beetlejuice is looping the same two clips of the musical on youtube and! thoroughly enjoying myself! because alex brightman is fun! he makes it fun! it isn't scary! but underneath all that...the horrors lurk, pinging my buried childhood memories, and the sense of unease doesn't leave me.
i live in a state of both anxiety and utter fascination with beetlejuice. i want to watch the movie so badly, but it terrifies me like no piece of media has terrified me before or since. and yet i can't stop thinking about it and trying to scoot closer. it's my fucking moby dick. striped and with green hair. god damn it
#might delete later idk#beetlejuice#idk what can be done here#but if anyone has advice on how to watch the most terrifying piece of media in someone's personal history#feel free to share ig
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pov i did in fact get a (v cheap) cane to see if it helped any but I'm??? apprehensive about using it or telling anyone about it cause im?? Idk if it will improve my life but it's a temporary solution until I can go to the doctor. Anyway this is just me telling someone( the internet) about it cause it frankly should not be this big of a deal. It just is cause that's the type of person I am. I mean- my friends can attest to me not being able to stand or walk for long periods of time, I just don't want them to??? i don't wanna say judge me, but maybe think I am being dramatic?? It really is temporary to see if it helps so. Idk. I know they probably wouldn't but man im just.ragh. I also was under the assumption that canes are just for support when walking but apparently nthey are also helpful if you have trouble standing. good to know cause that's where most of my issues lie. walking sucks too but I can usually deal cause im too focused on other things such as 'dont get hit by car' and 'dont let knees get too straight'
ALSO SIDE NOTE I WILL BE GOING TO A DOCTOR SOMETIME AFTER JANUARY IM JUST LITERALLY TOO BUSY AND POOR RN TO DO SO
#anyway#ughh#I am the type of person who does the 'am i gay quiz'#i also have not figured out if im aromantic for this same reason#but thats like a whole dif problem#While i was doing research to see if maybe it WOULD help I saw a lot of people being like#'yeah people who don't need canes generally don't think about getting one at length'#so#anyway will probably delete this#BTW THIS IS ALSO HOW I WAS ABOUT BEING AUTISTIC SO??#I HAVE A TRACK RECORD FOR NOT WANTING TO BE FAKING/THINKING I MUST SOMEHOW BE FAKING#idk how I would fake body pain tho#not a vent btw#it kinda reads like one#idk im just trying to figure out how to not feel apprehensive about using it#its less shame and more ' someone is gonna see me and somehow know i dont need it' even tho I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I DONT NEED IT#chat is it crazy to not want to be in pain all the time and to use something that might help#and if it doesnt its not the end of the world#or os it#are people going to eat me alive for using a cane without knowing if i actually need it#raghhh#back to drawing now#if you read this far#gold star#lets see if i actually post this idk
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Here have a raph
More concepts
It’s currently midnight and I’m so tired
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise of the turtles#Rottmnt raph#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt au#ok hi hi idk how I feel about this one#It just feels off idk#my art#Might delete this in the morning idk
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So like………………. what was the point of Round 6?? 🤨
#this is an honest question btw#because at this point i really don’t fucking know#if ivan sacrificed himself for till and that’s supposed to be till’s driving force for r7 but then it ends up being a detriment instead#and mizi is what ends up motivating him then pray tell what was point of the sacrifice??#they’re literally proving ivan right and i’m not a fan of that#we’ve been calling him an unreliable narrator for a while and while i still think that’s true to some extent#ivan may have a more of a point than we thought he did#but whatever#i don’t know#it feels empty? to me??#not sure how else to say it#sorry if this is all over the place#im rambling#also sorry if i sound like a hater (i’m not i promise)#idk yall i just really don’t know what ivan’s purpose was plot wise right now#might delete later#*deep sigh*#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alien stage round 7#alnst round 7#alien stage spoilers#alnst spoilers#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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I just vented out a whole rant about how aromantisim is treated within Hazbin/helluva. I'm not really sure if I should post it for multiple reasons, one of which being I don't want anyone to feel targeted about it or take it the wrong way (like I honestly dont have beef with Al shippers. Gripes, but no beef as I also ship him on occasion).
There was just a sudden burst of frustration I had with it that I think was in part just came from built up frustration from other things. There's things I'd like to have out there, but I don't really think it'd get far or, again, be just taken the wrong way. I don't see a point in posting if people are gonna ignore it, plus it wouldn't change how things are now. If anyone has any thoughts or are curious let me know, but I don't wanna make anyone feel like shit or put a pointless rant out there no one wanted to see. I also wanna keep rants to a minimum as I know people aren't always into that sort of stuff, especially if you don't follow someone for that and you just get an influx of posts of them complaining. And I still want to keep things relatively light hearted around here, at best maybe just some critiques on things here and there.
It's late, I'm on my phone when I should probably just sleep it off, so sleep it off I will.
#i don't know if I wanna tag any ships#I guess I'm just exhausted with a lot of things#I'd love for shippers to read it to get a bit more insight on the topi c#not to stop them from shipping ofc they can have all the fun with it.#The shipping itself has never been the problem for me.#And lately I don’t even think it's the shippers themselves that I take issue with as much anymore#maybe A part I don’t like how aromatisim is swept under the rug#may I reiterate my “how would it feel if the top ships had Angel only in straght ships” example#But I think it's more how the official media and people are with it.#Viv's statement potentially implying “confirming Alastor as aro would ruin peoples fun” isnt cool#makes it seem like being aro is bad#especially since every other character's orientations were confirmed despite them being irrelevant to the plot#I know thats not what she was trying to imply#but it Unforutnately reads that way#and people who aren't comfy with others shipping him are read as uncool I guess#^i like to think thats the loud minority of shippers talking but idk#might delete later#don't need this clogging up the blog or people's dash#rant#aro alastor#hazbin hotel shipping#hazbin ships#hazbin hotel ship#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critical#vivziepop#hazbin hotel criticism#aroace alastor
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little tease been working on this adopts for a while~
#friend told me to do bidding but idk how that works </3#and i think i might stick to one site cause i feel a little overwhelmed adding these adopts in all of my active sites augh#kinda wanna just throw them into my kofi shop and ppl pay for it ya know#but i'll probs open dms for a short period for bidding ya i might try twt first#if it fails there i'll delete the post and migrate them to here#AND IF IT FAILS HERE i'll migrate them to insta AND IF IT FAILS THERE I'll finally settle them to my kofi shop#txt
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