#might clean this one up at some point
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Quick sketch of my ladyyy based on this!
#OC: Eden Valentine#Cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk#cd projekt red#original character#cp2077#video games#skeliorsart#might clean this one up at some point#but for now#she shall remain a mess
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Collection of isat doodles and sketches that I’ve done recently bc I finished playing the game last night and hoouuughhhh my god
#chrome draws#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#< kinda?? tagging just to be safe <3333#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat king#isat wing au#< for if I draw more. which I probably will <3#I might try cleaning up the one of sif n the king at some point
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I keep imagining lucanis getting an accidental faceful of arterial spray during a job that didn't go so much awry as just slightly awkwardly right at the end, and having to get hosed down outside before coming home to the lighthouse. emotionally I feel the cartoonish blood splatters of dragon ages past and lucanis' resulting deep sleep-deprived peevishness in this chili's tonight
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rye is like '...there's a way to deal with this really quickly and conveniently. but from -- a certain point of view. it might perhaps.#a little bit. count as something not *quite* unlike. blood magic. for the uninitiated. if one were feeling uncharitable and judgemental.#but like. only if everyone's ready to get real chill about a lot of things real quick of course. emmrich back me up here'#lucanis standing there all ben affleck smoking meme dripping rivers of blood onto the ground ready to tank the eyeball itches:#I need a snack and to cuddle up to you and have a nap more than I need air right now. fucking go for it#~*mortalitasi bae privileges*~#rye is only making the blood dry up and flake off like ash btw lol. the nevarran urge to point out that there's blood magic#and there's yanno *blood magic*. unless the chantry asks about it. then it's sparkling deep culturally significant death rites#(and also cleaning up after them. you've gotta admit it's practical. I don't have to tell you there's a lot of blood in a person)#manifest lucanis peacefully snoozing in rook's arms post some grisly murders with me it's what he deserves
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hey I've never done an ask before but like could u do like wallace comforting regressed toddler scott cause I rlly kinda need the comfort rn n I luv ur art smm ur so skilled and especially the young neil art mwah *kisses forhead lovingly* (btw not forcing or anything do whateveru want 😭😭)
hello lovely I’m sorry I made you wait so long for messy sketches 🥺 thank you thank you and I hope you found comfort when you need it and feel at least a Bit better now
#waugh quite Embarrassing to post these ones I don’t like them. very much#but I wouldn’t want to leave an ask like this waiting for Too long in my inbox…#at some point I might clean all or at least Some of these up… not now though I’m Cursed sniffle#I’m going to tag this like an ask game answer featuring a Million characters.#🖍️#❌#🍸#scott pilgrim agere#little scott pilgrim#regressed scott pilgrim#caregiver wallace wells#fandom agere#agere#sfw agere#age regression art#ask#anon
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Finally, we get the opportunity to put our Spy Cards worldbuilding in a work. Though there are many questions about such things as "regulation" "how these cards are printed" "who approves a single spy card", and so on, we are here to present a bold new take: this game is based like 60% on obscure roach memory-reading tech that got turned into a card game with absolutely No card-game-related intentions included in the original tech and most of the card vetting is just from the fact that there aren't too many card printers out there and most of them make cards that need to be translated from Roach.
Strictly speaking, as a card game, it is not a terribly good or well-balanced one. It's popular primarily because of a mix of the difficulty involved in getting the data for high-level cards, the fun of seeing the variety of monsters that can be brought to the table, and the incredible amounts of ham and drama that goes into specifically the professional scene.
#we speak#bug fables#bold and new because we think that only maybe three people have even asked questions about the semantics ofc#notable points: professional spy cards is an entirely different thing from competitive spy cards#and the overlap between fanbases means that there is occasionally some REALLY incomprehensible beef about deck composition#also every time that carmina uses astotheles' card in one of her decks she has to pay him royalties#this is because he approached her personally about it. it was an Experience.#the roach tech thing also means that like a decent chunk of high level spy cards players know like. a handful of words in roach#competitive spy cards is generally smaller than professional and involves shit like actual deck composition and like#trying to get ahold of That One OP Card so that you can utterly crush people at the local tournament. actual card geek shit.#professional spy cards is basically wrestling in card game form and does NOT optimize the decks very well#because 99% of the draw of PROFESSIONAL spy cards is that youre gonna watch a whole bunch of people roleplay elaborate storylines#while also playing a game where most professional venues will invest in tech to read card crystals and summon appropriate effects#its a spectacle sport. specifically a spectacle sport where the actual game is mostly framework for Cool Monsters and Interpersonal Drama#carmina is a heel#this might be slightly incoherent but we'll clean it up later maybe. we are taking a break from sketching comms to write rn
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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I can't do this anymore just take it. Take the ace combat art. I'm going to explode
#I BET EVERYONE FORGOT I WAS AN ART GUY BEFORE I WAS A FUNNY 5 MINUTES OF FAME INTERNET GUY HUH#anyways yeah just. yeah#we'll see if i ever post the million other doodles i have.#considering cleaning up one in particular because i do reaaally like it but erbrbbrb#but yea! cipher! silly guy! he's an oc to me at this point aside from the fact i physically cannot remove him from pixy#might chatter abt him at some point because i like the stuff i can up with#dont expect a lot of art in the near future tho because um. erm. i may or may not be working on a fic that is currently over 30000 words?#if you wanna read that it's on ao3 you can look for it but i am 99% sure i will not advertise it here just because#ace combat#ace combat zero#cipher ace combat
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
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beweird's OC-Tober day 27 - phobias!
Pareidolia - The brain's tendency to create patterns where none reasonably exists, most often and well known being finding faces in inanimate objects.
#bweirdoctober#Cora Timberland#Devil's Virtue#pareidolia#im late but what else is new#might clean this one up at some point. i like it.
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Bit of an art dump of some Splatoon pieces I've been meaning to post for a while; 2 pieces of Anarchy; one with drip and one of them being a menace to squidkind (missile spamming), and 1 ref for Depth!
#the 2nd one was designed specifically as a test keychain. might post the actual keychain at some point once i clean it up a bit#depth has been rotating in my brain for a few weeks now and i needed to finally share them or i would have exploded#my art#monosart#splatoon#splatoon ocs#octoling#inkling#inktoling#neo agent 3#neo agent 3 (anarchy)#new agent 3#anarchy “neo” t.#depth fin
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I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim with I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not-
#repetitive text;#manic posting;#i remembered in hs when i'd spend my manic nights writing somg lyrics in sharpie on my arms and legs and jeans#and then had the idea to stitch/embroider lyrics into said jeans bc i was PRETTY sure i still had them bc they were ny favorite and#idr them wearing out. but APPARENTLY not. i looked everywhere short of digging out the closet i've wanted to for a month#but that's got years worth of chewy boxes broken down amd stacked in front of it bc i am a disaster#(i mean to recycle them. that never happened. at this point i'll just put them in thw dumpster. when i get around to getting them out of#the corner and down the stairs#i took my meds at least (not the tegretol. i don't want to intentionally kill my first proper manic episode in /so/ long)#BUT i was then thinking about canabilizing old jeans to create the cut i loved about the old ones (but half what i loved was texture)#and then embroidering that#but my last manic project with denim left my fingers so fuckin bloody#bc manic me can and will not use a sewing machine and thimbles get in my way#and that was. back in 2013-2015. wish i still had that. never wore it bc course not.#i also don't have the manic project of the L (death note) inspired Lolita skirt#think theu both stayed in NC#man i left all the good shit in NC#but yeah like. to say nothing of the fact that ostensibly the roommate will be home and wanting to sleep at some point#and manic me and headphones are fucking rivals#manic me has a lot of beefs#it's almost like (and this might shock you) i'm manic!#(i promise i'm trying to go to bed at this point)#(it's bed or cleaning my room or denim project and i would like SOME sleep if i'm gonna do either)#(to say nothing of i need to do 3 expert roulettes in XIV and can you imagine that shit after literally not sleep?)#(mania will NOT save my ass from micronapping)#personal;#i'm so sorry for anyone actually reading all these posts and tags#but! if you are! welcome to my oversharing corner <3#also i am still planning on helping a friend clean and assmeble a chair tomorrow#which! mania is good for! i can clean! i love cleaning when manic! (my OCD ramps up when manic)
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saw a living oriole irl for the first time today!
#it was a female orchard oriole#i even sucessfully photographed it#at least kinda#definently not my best photo but for a 15 second first time sighting of a small passerine im happy with it#but yeah i had a very fun time watching birds today#there was a common grackle that kept coming back to this wet piece of bread#i couldnt find an angle i liked unfortunately but i got some decent stuff i think#it was interesting tho bc there were quite a few of the species where i was watching#but it was only that one individual that took interest in the bread#i could tell it was the same one bc he had a scar around his neck :(#i wonder if he had gotten tangled in some fishing line at some point and at some point the fishing line was removed#bc none of my photos looked like there was any fishing line around his neck currently#he might have been a rehabbed and released bird#but yeah i really wish the fishers at the park i birdwatch at would bc more careful about leaving their lines out#idk the terminology lol#but they tend to be pretty haphazard about it :(#im kind of worried bc rusty blackbirds frequent the park and theyre a vulnerable species#fortunately theyre only around for winter/early spring so not during the majority of the fishing but still#i try to clean it up when i can#one time there was an american robin caught in a loose fishing line and i was able to get it out#unfortunately i did not have scissors or any other sharp object on me so i wasnt able to do it with much precision#when it was able to fly off it had some fishing line hanging from its feet still which is unfortunate but its better than the alternative#i wanted to run to the store and buy some scissors but i didnt want to leave it unattended in such a vulnerable position for any length...#...of time#but yeah clean up after yourselves when youre out in nature#even if its just an urban/suburban park like that
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SO ANIMATICS TAKE A LOT LONGER TO DO THAN I EXPECTED!! I have worked on it for a few hours (accidentally made a mistake that set me back an hour or so) and I officially have like 30 seconds at the start that I've got the timing all right and everything good (Very Rough looking but!! It is there!!)
I may or may not be putting too many frames in for an animatic? Yet it is still too slow for an animation. Curious!
The song is slower than I expected too when transitioning from paper plans to digital creation BUT I am on my way!! Yippee!!
There's a transition section I'll need to work on and then the next section should go by faster. Yay!
#syncrovoid.art#shadow my fascination#shadow: everything stays#i had to learn how the program works animation wise too so that took time#but i am pretty happy with it so far!! it is so exciting!!#using the power of hyperfixation to learn how to make animatics/animate @:)#i need to make a youtube account at some point... that will be interesting (?? i havent ever used one before)#i mean not HAVE to have to but i should just so i have it posted somewhere methinks#i will also post it here obviously#probably wont polish it up too much because there are so many frames!! So Many!!#but depending on how i feel after i finish the rough version i might go through and line art it?? or just clean it up a bit#who knows? there are so many possibilities!!#anywho i should sleep.. yet the animatic... but sleep.....#snork mimimi time
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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@reignthem liked for a problem!
"ms. arias." no small amount of intention is put into the offer of her hand, the grip firm while her expression above remains open, inviting. practice is no longer required, the combination is not second nature, but first. she's comfortable. the shake does not last any longer than necessary, and when she withdraws, claire gestures toward the seat nearest to her, a questioning brow raised.
"thank you, for making the time. may i?"
#reignthem#i truly do not go here i have been flying by the seat of my pants w everything to do w supergirl i am so sorry#claire was ceo of a company called clean water initiative at one point that does like outreach in the us and abroad#access to clean water n that sort of thing#i figure we might could do some pre presidency businessy shenanigans#IDK IM MAKING SHIT UP :)#thank you for liking hehe. i am excited
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