#might be worse than the Logan one lowkey

[formulanni]

Lewis x2 (again)

Tags: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time

[gladiatorcunt]

- # ROMANS 8:7 !!

“because the mind of the flesh is hostile to god: it does not submit to god’s law, nor can it do so.”

cw: implied plus size & southern afab!reader, xmen 1 coded logan but also different, large age gap (reader early 20’s, logan…. not), implied mental health & abandoment issues, drug & alchohol mentions, consensual somno (not discussed but logan’d be down with whatever you wanted), dad/father figure bf behavior and talk (kiddo, controlling your sleep schedule, heavy daddy kink & calling him your old man, calls fucking you “feeding you” etc.), heavy werewolf/animals in general allusions & imagery (?), reader is lowkey unhinged, reader doing some solo a/b/o roleplay lol, kind of self objectification/degradation vibes due to underlying trauma, gentle dead dove like if the dove perched on a bitter old man’s dirt covered shoulder and wouldn’t leave, more of a moment in time

1k event. / please consider commissioning me!

Stubble against your lips is a damn fine way to wake up in the morning, you think with a dazed smile. The scent of the beard shampoo you have Logan use smells better than a whole poppy field ever could. There are lingering traces of cigar smoke hovering over his slightly chapped lips, but not as heavy anymore, he’s trying to quit relying on them so much. A gruff sentiment about wanting to make sure he has a better chance of sticking around to keep an eye on you, or something like that.

You were falling asleep on his sweaty abs when he said it like he was getting his teeth pulled out, but there’s merit in the fact that he could’ve cut himself off. It’s important to him to try to be better at verbalizing the feeling burning in his battered gut like a glass of whiskey on the rocks. You’d take him with open arms and open legs even if he was a worse man than the devil.

You reach down and lift his hefty hands to your still swollen lips and kiss his knuckles like you’re trying to suck his claws out of his skin and into your mouth. A painless operation, you’re used to the feeling of blades against your skin, housing them in your stomach would mean nothing if it meant you could take some of the hurt away from him. It feels like that’s your job sometimes, to jump through as many hoops as possible so that you bear the brunt of the weight Logan’s forced to deal with on a daily basis.

He stops that train of thought in its tracks when you express it, what kind of dad would he be if he let you get even a single scratch? Maybe there’s to be said for a rough and tough kind of guy getting to nurse a kitten back to health, to keep it tucked away in the crook of their muscular arm never to see the light of day without them.

You don’t offer to keep his claws sheathed safely in your pussy either, you’d lick your own blood off the ends when they eventually push through your mouth. A cock sleeve in a different outfit, daddy’s little helper. But then you see the way Logan’s face belies a sense of peace, his forehead wrinkles and the fine lines around his mouth aren’t nearly so pronounced because this is the rare moment in which he finds no reason to scowl. You know you’re worth more than a nyquil infused pussy to him, but this is where you find your use. This is how you feel content, gummy walls suckling on his fat tip because even when you’ve put your old man to bed you can’t get enough.

Logan thinks he’s just so awful, the big bad wolf slobbering on an innocent lamb’s cherry pie-sweet cunt, but you might be worse. You’d your feet and throw a fit if his nose even twitched catching the scent of someone else, you’d do far worse things than what he’s already done to keep this toe curlingly grumpy man snoring a crater into your silk pillows. You feel like a rabid chihuahua nipping at his heels to keep him inside and with you, where it’s warm and wet and there’s no death other than the little ones you experience over and over like a perverted groundhog day. He’s the only one you trust with you doing you prone bone, having faith that he’ll shield you from all the things in the world that aren’t Daddy and the cozy sticky life he provides for you.

Calloused fingers strangling your tits in the morning, your ass bent over his lap in the evening while he sits back in his recliner and soothes the sting. You’d been sick to your stomach before you met him, wandering up and down the road in New York because you insisted you could make this big move and do it all on your own. Then his denim blue pick up rumbled its way down the broken road and you’ve never looked back since.

Your heart was beating faster than a hummingbird when he rolled his eyes and pushed the passenger side door open with one hand, like you were lucky he didn’t drive off and leave you in the dirt. You had the stray thought of offering him a blow job or a tit fuck to make it worth his while, but he was squirming around to tug off his brown leather jacket and toss it at you before you could move a muscle.

Poor little kitty, last one in the box all alone in the cold. Someone wanted you though, and over time your hisses and scratches turned to cat-that-got-the-cream-AND-the-canary wails and voracious frisking.

He ‘tsks’ and bites his cheek on the days where the guilt creeps in, and you know he just can't accept that this is what you want. That you saw his maw open wide and dripping with blood-cum-tissue-bone-spittle and hopped right on the center of his dusty rose pink tongue like a good bunny.

In your daydreams the appendage is so long he can choke you with the tip of it, wrap it around you and get his unique slime and grime absorbed into the hollow of your throat. You wish he had a knot too, so he could plug you up and you’d have no choice but to take it and be so grateful that Daddy thought you were worthy of being bred and speared and kept.

God, you’d never wanted to have somebody’s baby so much. But you’re selfish too, so you don’t mind this time spent together, just the two of you. That’s a blessing in and of itself and you’ve learned not to question the rare good things in life that you’re allowed to have. The powers that be decided he’s yours and you’re his and you’ll tie your leash to his hand if that ensures he can never change his mind about taking a chance on you. If he can’t run like you tried to do when you realized he might actually love you back, that he wasn’t content to just be a dirty fantasy you had when you were alone on your trailer bed. That for the first time in your life, what you need needs you too, or wants to entertain you at the very least.

You don’t want to run anymore, and all of the credit goes to Logan recognizing that you were just a stray cat who needed someone that wouldn’t let them dart out the door at the first sign of discomfort. He forced you to be known so you could be loved and there’s no going back to a life without that, not for you. Not without being to hold Daddy’s hand when that same feeling of flight or flight knocks on your skull. Maybe you’re spiraling again because you feel empty, you said no to cockwarming the previous night because you didn’t want to be too needy. You think your pussy might’ve bitten his dick off to keep inside of it like a trophy if you followed your usual routine.

Now you’re realizing why you hardly ever say no to giving your pussy time to breathe. How can you feel whole if Daddy’s not sighing in relief when he slides home for the first time again? You remember that you're your own person like this and you hate it, you don’t belong to you, you belong to him.

So you bite your lip and slowly bring yourself up to straddle his torso, humping his abs for a second before reaching behind you and lining up your aching cunt with his already half hard prick. You get overwhelmed already, so excited and antsy and ready to greet Daddy at the door that you bounce without actually bringing your plush hips all the way down.

‘Want that knot, want it want it want it want it, fuck fuck FUCK!’

You cry when the bulbous and thick fucking tip eases into you followed by the rest of him, you can’t help it. You missed him so much, and you’re not only thinking about Logan when you say that. Trust Daddy to actually have a horse’s cock most men overcompensate for not having, long and girthy and an angry purplish-red and surrounded by a black bush and more than deserving of never being left alone for a single second.

He woke up as soon as you started grinding against him in your sleep, but he knows you’d get embarrassed if he let it slip now. Logan could open his brown eyes and say ‘I told you so, kiddo’ but he can do that after his hardening cock pushes into your cervix. A welcome home kiss for his fussy little thing, he doesn’t feel right until he cracks his eyelids halfway and peeks through to see your own roll back in otherworldly rapture.

“That’s it, right where it belongs, ain’t it doll?”

Yes, yes it is.

“Fuckin’ cum on it and then get y’r ass back to bed, y’r gonna get cranky if you stay up any later. Gotta keep you fed, get some cock in that belly, keep you fat.”

- 2024, do not copy/translate/train ai with my work

[talictries]

my take on daniel/alpha tauri situation

I MEAN IM HAPPY BUT IM ALSO ????

ok lemme think

-if this is really what daniel wants, then I'm all for it. however, due to the concerns about his mental health/own admittance of wanting to take the year of in his original statements, it makes me a bit worried that daniel has just said yes over-eagarly. like,,, i can't imagine the heartbreak of working for something your whole life, making one poor business decision and having a shit car/team (not lando my boy could never) and feeling 'bad' at what you've spend our childhood chasing. especially after his successes at red bull and then only getting one win in 4 years compared to like 7 in 2 years. i feel like truly retiring is so hard for ANY driver, we can see many return to racing even after calling it quits (Fernando, nico hulkenberg, romain grosjean after the huge almost fatal accident where he lowkey promised his wife he's walk away is now doing feeder series). really in modern times, the only two main drivers that can come to mind and left the sport willingly without returning are rosberg and vettel, but they left because they achieved what they wanted (rosberg finally beating hamilton/ vettel 4 time WDC loved driving but decided it was time to move on to be with his family).

like,,, even in my FICTIONAL strollonso fic idea it details why he came back to racing, and a part of that was because he didn't have a wife/kids to fill his time with. it was everything he wanted his whole life and then after retirement he has... nothing. and tbh i feel it may be the same for daniel??? especially as unlike fernando in 2018, nico in 2016 and vettel 2022, daniel did not leave by his own volition.

anyway basically i'm a bit nervous he's rushing back into a seat, that is under the same management he (lowkey ruined) his career and reputation on, and in a worse car. like it's a shit car. i think it might depress him more???? and him moving back is to put pressure on checo who has been underperforming. which is smart in a sense, but ughhhh. i think daniel's looking back at redbull times with rose coloured glasses, just a little bit. however, i think he is in a better place mentally and physically compared to mclaren and as long as he performs well (so like gets points almost every race - I'm sure red bull is expecting him to be better than tsunoda who is getting approx p11) the team will be on his side.

now for the other side of this equation... nyck.

damn red bull kinda cruel. 6 months to prove himself and nope, he's fucked. in fairness he was underperforming, but lowkey its almost like in an AU timeline (LMAO) if he didn't race in 2022 and cause such high expectations for himself with points on debut, i BET he'd at least make it through the season. and what about that $20 million dollar debt or something he owes to somebody??? without red bull racing legal team he's so fucked :((( but yeah idk his 'step up' from alphatauri (ie redbull) was unlikely due to late joining age and other shit. like he's on the same amount of points as logan, no? piastri is a god, but I'm sure red bull is comparing all the rookies.

hmmm for me i'm just more sad about his future endeavours lowkey,,,, like he was champion in Formula E, but now i think everyone will look at him like the 'dude who couldn't make one season of f1' ya know???

idk, sport is cruel and business is cruel and money is on the line and helmut terrifies me, blah blah blah.

final thoughts: nyck's very bad not good horrible day, and daniel's very good, not bad, terrific day that i pray doesn't end up becoming a nightmare for himself, physically and mentally.

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter 4

Ao3, chapters  1   2   3   5,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

The plot of this was lowkey destroyed because apparently Patton and Janus are already somft, but that’s fine. I will continue to call Janus ‘Deceit’ throughout this entire fic to maintain consistency, just so you know. Also, this one’s a long boy, so strap in.

Warnings: Descriptions of gore/body horror (Remus stuff, nothing super bad), swearing, all sympathetic sides, lack of sleep, light arguing, food mention.

Word Count: 2,536

“Did he come back this morning? What did he say?”

“He didn’t do anything bad. Well, nothing super bad. I’m kinda getting used to it.”

“That’s worse!” Virgil was perched on the arm of the couch, staring up at Patton with troubled eyes. Beside him Roman and Logan sat together, the latter looking much less invested in the argument (though he was letting Virgil fidget with his fingers so as to avoid picking apart the threads of his hoodie). 

“It’s not so bad. I think he’s just looking for someone to talk to!” Well, it was like that by now. Patton knew that that wasn’t how it started. It had been about two and a half weeks since Remus had first started popping up to meet Patton before breakfast, and he’d grown quite accustomed to it. Deceit often showed up at night, but his schedule was more sporadic. They did their best to upset him, but the emotional side refused to be mean, no matter what they did! 

But then he’d found that, as their interactions continued, they got much less distressing. They were something else entirely. Odd enough that Patton couldn’t keep himself from telling his family any longer.

“Just ignore him; he’ll get bored.” Roman said tiredly.

“True; if you want them to stop bothering you, it’s best to just not give the two any attention,” Logan added, prompting Roman to give a proud little smile and hum. 

Patton shifted, taking a moment to respond. He wasn’t sure he wanted them to stop bothering him.

Remus grinned at Morality for the second day in a row as he walked into the kitchen. Today, his hand was pressed firmly against the hot stove, skin bubbling in plain view. 

“Oh! You’re back!” Patton forced a smile as he watched Remus nod and remove his red, blistering hand from the burner and heal himself instantly. 

“Yup! Happy to see me?”

Patton  inhaled deeply, pressing his hands against his face. Though his eyes were covered, he could hear Remus giggling to himself.

“Can I- Can I help you with something?” 

The Dark Side seemed to mull the question over for a moment, and then placed his hand back down on the active burner and shrugged. After getting bored with the stove trick, he sat up and grabbed a knife from the block and stabbed it down between each of his fingers repetitively. Patton stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. In his own kitchen.

You know what? If Remus wanted to hang around while he made breakfast, then the more the merrier! Morality decided he could ignore the occasional tearing sound of a knife on flesh, putting on the coffee pot for when Logan and Virgil eventually woke up. 

He continued on for a while, making pancakes in relative silence. Until his company got bored. 

“Why do you do this every morning?”

“Make breakfast?” 

Remus nodded.

“I do it because it’s nice to do something nice for the other sides.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“They’re my family,” Patton answered with a smile. The Duke seemed to toss the answer around in his head for a minute.

“I mean, I can see how they’re each other’s family, cuz they’re fucking- what makes them your family, then?”

They’re sides like me, he could’ve said, but caught himself. We care about each other, was another answer that probably wouldn’t be great. So he didn’t say anything, faking distraction.

“If you were me,” Remus continued, voice dipping, “You’d know that family means a whole lot of nothing.”

The statement had that odd quality of recitation. He was quoting someone. The usual energy with which The Duke spoke was diminished, but before Patton could ask anything about it, footsteps rushed down the stairs and Remus was gone in a blink. 

Part of him was happy that they’d grown on him- because it proved that he wasn’t nasty or mean- but a much larger part was very, very guilty. He was so sure that they were that they were the mean ones, but now he couldn’t tell. He’d been wrong before.

Patton loved his ‘family’, he really did, but not the way they did each other. Truth be told, he’d also been looking for someone to talk to. 

“You’re back,” Patton acknowledged, his eyes barely open. Deceit didn’t look even a twinge sleepy, dressed as formally as he ever was and sitting with perfect posture. This was the fourth time.

“Don’t sound too excited, Morality,”

“Why are you here, again?” 

“Oh, I’m wounded. I can’t just stop by to see my favorite side?” 

Deceit had seemingly recovered from whatever had him acting less cruel in their previous interactions, but Patton couldn’t say that he was surprised. He wasn’t an idiot. If this was the game they were playing, then fine. Fine.

He paused the episode of Steven Universe he was rewatching and clicked back to The Good Place. It was the episode they’d left off on a few nights before. 

“What are you doing?” Deceit sounded surprised. Patton shot him a look.

“I’m putting on something we both like. It’s considerate. And don’t worry, I didn’t watch it without you.”

The reptilian beside him scoffed, but he didn’t say anything, so. Point for Patton.

They got through a full episode before Deceit spoke up again, pretending to inspect his nails through his gloves. 

“You’ve got quite the healthy sleep schedule.”

“You’re up too,” was the nicest way Morality could think to phrase, you’re one to talk, jerk.

“I have the self-respect to sleep in late. I absolutely abhor the nighttime, but I’m guessing you’ve got another reason being up so late. Isn’t that right?”

Patton paused the show. 

“You really wanna know?”

“Please, enlighten me.”

The goal here, it seemed, was to upset and confuse. And the best way to trip up deception was by being honest, truly and completely.

“I just need to not think. Just for a little while. It’s so hard not to think about all the not-great things I’ve done,” he’d never told anyone how bad it got at night. Maybe that’s what made it so easy to tell Deceit, to get some of the pressure off his shoulders with someone that wouldn’t look at him so pityingly. It was good to tell someone who wouldn’t care.

It was a while before Deceit replied.

“That was the first true thing you’ve said to me, I think. I suppose I should return the favor-” And Deceit looked at him, completely understanding, “Since you were so surprised to learn we found you unpleasant, Remus and I decided to show you why that was. In a way. But maybe that’s not what either of us need.”

Patton finally glanced up, eyes wide. The fact that it was some malicious plot was unsurprising. The second statement was both surprising and confusing. But Deceit wasn’t meeting his eyes, and it was far too late to try to pry anything more out of him. So they just watched TV. Together.

“Pat?”

Virgil’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Patton made sure that he was smiling before he looked up.

“Is there something you aren’t telling us? You’re kinda radiating anxiety right now, buddy,” Virgil’s face darkened, “Did they do something to you? So you won’t-”

“Or can’t,” Roman added.

“-Or can’t ask for help?” 

Patton appreciated the concern, but he couldn’t help it if the insinuation that they would control him made him wince a disgustedly. How could they really think that Deceit or Remus would do that? (he was pointedly ignoring the part of himself that thought they did things like that less than a month ago.)

That morning, when Remus swung down from the top of the fridge in his kraken-like form, Patton hardly blinked. He yawned, in fact, smiling sleepily. 

“G’morning.” 

Remus picked himself up off the floor and shapeshifted into his usual appearance, pouting. 

“Aww, you’re desensitized.”

To be fair, he’d done this every morning for the past two weeks. Patton was quite used to the company, but he still threw his hands up and gave a very fake scream for Remus’ sake. That turned Creativity’s expression right around to a grin and he bounced his shoulders in a laugh. It was oddly cute.

“Hey, I like this,” Remus announced, bending back the prongs of a fork. Morality smiled to cover up that he had no clue how to respond. He almost thought it was some kind of lure, and he wasn’t losing whatever this game was to them. But, Deceit had implied that whatever plan they had was disbanded. But Deceit was Deceit! But that moment had seemed so sincere, and honestly, he wanted to like this too-

“Your eggs are burning,” said Remus, right against his ear. Patton startled at the sudden proximity, and also at the fact that he was totally botching breakfast. Family breakfast.

“Shucks- Thanks-” he hastily took the pan off the heat, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, but you might not like the answer,” The Duke warned, likely having no idea what Patton was going to ask about but knowing it was applicable regardless.

“Why do you always leave when the others wake up?”

He scrunched up his face, pausing whatever it was he was doing with a spare handful of forks. Morality had noticed that his various disturbing activities had gradually gotten a lot less deliberately upsetting and a lot more like he was just trying to keep his hands busy while chatting. 

“‘Shucks’ is just a combination of shit and fuck,” he said instead of answering. 

“Language!” 

Patton let him change the subject; it wasn’t his business, anyway. Remus cackled- part relief but mostly genuine amusement- and carried on as though nothing had happened. Morality listened to him ramble, and looked over when Creativity wanted to show him some piece of art or his rapidly expanding silverware sculpture. Eventually, when footsteps filled the house and Remus was gone, Patton noticed an aching pain in his face. He quickly realized it hurt from how wide his smile had been.

Oh- maybe ‘desensitized’ wasn’t the right word for how he felt about the Dark Sides.

Morality was going to defend Remus and Deceit. Just like he’d defended Virgil to the others all those years ago, before everything (funny, that, and how the three of them ended up together. Maybe if traits listened to him more, they’d see he ended up right sometimes. And Patton hoped- believed- he was right about this).

“I don’t need help, and they didn’t hurt me! Honestly, they may be a little eccentric, but they aren’t… evil.” 

Three sides gazed incredulously at Patton. He couldn’t blame them, for as soon as he said it he could only hear it as something someone else would be telling him. He remained unwavering regardless.

“Well, of course they aren’t; they are sides of Thomas like the rest of us, and naturally they strive to do what they think is best for him. But, their methods and wants are unrealistic at best and extremist at worst, so it is fair that we’d be concerned.”  

Virgil grumbled low in his throat, looking slightly mollified. 

“I- well- yeah, I just don’t want Patton getting in over his head.”

“What now?”

It was the first night since their last weirdly emotional conversation, and though Remus showed up everyday, Morality had almost thought it was the last he’d seen of Deceit. He was relieved it wasn’t, and his question really wasn’t meant to come out that way.

“You totally don’t just have to ask me to leave. It’s not like I’m no longer here on false pretenses- wait, not no longer- I confused myself,” while he was trying to parse out his own words, Patton let out a slightly surprised laugh. 

“No, it’s alright, I- um, I’m used to you guys being around.” 

The inaccuracy of the word “desensitized” once again flashed in his mind as he saw Deceit tamp down a smile, barely hiding the way his fangs peeked out. 

“Well, I still haven’t seen the series finale of The Good Place, so I might as well stay,” he drawled in feigned indifference. 

“The show just wouldn’t be the same without your running commentary,” Patton playfully nudged the liar’s shoulder.

They watched half of season four in one sitting. 

Patton ran a hand down his face and groaned, earning a concerned look from his best friend. 

“I’ll tell you if I need help, I promise. But I need you to trust me that, right now, I’m okay.”

“I trust you,” Virgil replied without hesitation, “It’s them I don’t trust.”

“Well, why not?” 

Logan and Roman exchanged knowing looks while Anxiety tensed his shoulders. He huffed, eyes downcast.

“I mean… it’s not exactly a secret that I didn’t leave on great terms. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still had it out for, like, all of us, due to association. Especially considering-” he gestured to Roman, who gave a solemn nod. Patton briefly reflected on the terrible fact that nobody in his life could communicate effectively (including himself (wow, maybe some of Deceit’s bitterness was rubbing off on him)). 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means there’s a chance that we’ll all come out of this for the better!” At this point it was unlikely that there was any risk, but arguing with his family made his head hurt.

“If you think you can get them to be cooperative, then I’m all for it. Our current state isn’t exactly sustainable in the long term, so we’d better resolve the issue sooner rather than later,” Logan said.

“It would be nice to not have to worry about those guys all the time, I guess. If you really think you can get them under control,” Virgil shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes- but if they do get out of hand, I will take care of them for you, Padre!” Roman flew to his feet with a self-assured smirk, eyes blazing like he could see the scene before him as he summoned his sword. 

“That...  is very sweet. I’ll keep that in mind, Ro,” Morality gently patted his arm, subtly trying to guide the sword out of its path of destruction. 

As the conversation lulled, Patton made his escape, calling out an excuse of making lunch. 

As Patton tidied his work space, his eyes flicked over the counters. He spotted a disheveled black sketchbook that lay forgotten by the stove, its cover swallowed by stickers and doodles which were unmistakably Remus’. 

That morning, The Duke had wandered in and pushed himself up onto the counter, holding out his sketchbook wordlessly, a smile on his face. It was routine by that point, but Patton was still ecstatic every time he got to see the art. While it was horrifying almost all the time, his love of drawing overpowered his disgust and he couldn’t help but shower the pictures with compliments (seeing the way Remus’ usual manic expression softened with appreciation was also a bonus).

After peeking his head around the corner to ensure that the rest of the sides were sufficiently distracted, Patton grabbed the lost leatherbound book and sank out to return it. 

Taglist:

@deceits-left-glove​ @princemesscharming @shrimp-crockpot

[delimeful]

First time they saw Patton cuddling with Virgil? (Like y’know the energy thing maybe?) Or Virgil protecting the three of them from some other alien?

Okay, now that Making Adjustments is out in full, I’m posting all the asks that inspired me for certain parts or even just to continue writing! Thank you to everyone who sent in ideas/what they wanted to see/theories, I really appreciate it! All asks under the cut!

@ironwoman359 said: I’d be really interested to read about what the first week or two aboard the ship with all four of them was like. I’m sure it was a big adjustment for all of them, and it’d be really cool to see!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: WINBAR prompt - Virgil’s first night on the ship, is not with Patton, and gets a nightmare. Logan finds him and Virgil has to explain his nightmare/dreams

@the-princey-pie said: Logan mentioned that Virgil would probbaly have trouble fitting through the space ship doors. Now I really want to see Vorgil stepping into their spaceship the first time/navigating it for the first few weeks.

@indigomasquerade97 said: WIBAR prompt. Virgil is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. You know the scene I’m talking about! ;) Roman is still freaked out with the idea of having a human on board, and one night (maybe on patrol, since he is still jittery from loosing Patton and doesn’t want to loose him - or Logan - again) and he gets freaked out by the nocturnal human suddenly being in the room? IDK

Anonymous said: So. I was wondering for the WIBAR prompts, what was Virgil’s first night on the ship like? How did Roman and Logan act towards him? And is he worried that his relationship with Patton is going to change now that he’s back with his family? Sorry if this is a lot…

Anonymous said: WIBAR prompt idea: Food! Since food is often culturally connected for humans, would it be the same for our alien friends? And if they have any, from Virgil’s pov., strange food items etc. Would be interesting to see considering they are all from such different species. :D

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: WIBAR: did Patton tell his crewmates how to interpret Virgil’s body language? Did they figure it out for themselves? Did they struggle to remember when they saw him smile or stretch (and make himself big) or something?

Anonymous said: I would love to see some V POV or adjustment period/cultural differences! (particularly L/R’s reactions to V smiling, differences in diet/hunting styles, what V considers a threat vs. what LMP consider threats… anything that highlights the deathworlder in Virg! (Space Australia is like my fav thing that came out of tumblr)) also maybe some more of L/R’s thoughts on Patton befriending a space boogieman?? I really really love this au! :)

Anonymous said: OoOOooh okay how about,, Virgil’s POV as they head back to Roman and Logan’s ship and get on, (and maybe if he doesn’t know the species Logan and Roman are he could ask? That seems the easiest way for us to learn more about the boys without it being too awkwardly shoved in) and V’s probably awkward because he doesn’t know Lo and Ro and Ro’s openly hostile and he wasn’t expecting to go along with them and idk you decide. Also :DD wibar’s not done yet!! Tysm; I’m really enjoying it!

@bishopriecke said: Okay, so I’ve got a couple prompts so I’ll send them separately in case that’s how you’d wanted them? The story is absolutely adorable and it made me think of the sleeping habits back on the ship. There’s space for Virgil, but will Pat gravitate to sleeping with him, since it was such a comfort and Virgil only gets sleepy if he snags energy during cuddles? If he’s tired/virgil’s stressing over something will he wander over to where Virgil is chilling and settle in his lap? How’s Ro&Lo react?

@bumblebeekitten said: Do any of the others attempt to learn Virgil’s language? Or maybe Virgil quietly tries to dispel some of the more hurtful rumors about ‘deathworlder humans’?

Anonymous said: What would wibar Roman and Logan do if they couldn’t find Patton? Would they assume Virgil had done something?

Anonymous said: While waiting for more WIBAR, I keep re-reading everything (Act 1, Intermission, all the world building asks). Right now, I just want to plead with Patton to go find Virgil as he needs comfort, to calmly tell Logan that I don’t blame him, and to hiss at Roman that, while he has had bad experiences and that is valid, he needs to be nicer. Granted, a reaction like that from a human fan-nut probably wouldn’t help Virgil’s case… but he needs a hug so much right now!

Anonymous said: i’m thinking there’s lots of potential for hurt/comfort with this chapter. Virgil’s obviously panicking so i reckon he’s gonna have to try and convince himself that he can trust Patton if not the others. i feel like virgil still wont trust the others but they’ll get to see that he’s not always this big, strong deathworlder and he gets scared just like them. he’s been traumatised and he cares for Patt a lot and theyll try to understand eachother better and hopefully become friends/gain some trust

Anonymous said: that is very much wishful think and a need for my boys to be happy though haha. soz, that probably wasnt very helpful for writing but thats just something i’d like to see happen but i KNOW that whatever you end up writing is gonna be fabulous (ran out of room on my last ask and couldnt even sign it, whoops)

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: I’m mainly really curious how Roman will react. If he has even have as big of an imagination as buobba Roman then he will probably interpret Virgil’s outburst as a violent attack and try to frame him as a danger they shouldn’t keep on the ship. However if he was able to detect Virgil’s fear then this might be the first step of them growing closer. Idk which I like better, because on one hand I want them to to get along and witness wacky human things in an amicable atmosphere, but on the other hand, misunderstandings are soooo good!!!! Most of all I want Virgil to get a hug though. Poor boy deserves one. I don’t care with who it is, although I suspect it will be Patton because no way the other ones trust Virgil enough and vice versa.

@yalltookmyurlideas said: Haha wibar fears? There are,,, so many. My main fear is that Roman will misinterpret Virgil’s panic to mean he’s hiding something and not see it for the panic and fear it is.

Anonymous said: I was thinking about for WIBAR, are we going to find out more about Virgils life on Earth? Is there angst there or is it irrelevant? Also would Logan and Roman go after Virgil themselves so as not to worry Pat or would they realise this was a situation they couldn’t solve? OR does Roman think V is attacking them and goes to hurt him? Sorry long ask but I’m excited for the chapter 😅😅🥰🥰

Anonymous said: Ayyy super late gang, barely got a hour of sleep bc anxiety/nightmares so yeehaw. I guess for WIBAR, the most essential thing to consider is how you want Making Adjustments to sorta add onto its characters & how they interact. Idk that ofc, but I think the situation is going to resolve into a ‘im only human’ (the irony) kinda situation and the crew (maybe minus patton??) only /starting/ to grasp the human is a bunch of damaged goods who is lowkey more scared of them than they are of he (½)

Anonymous said: (2/2) how i see the situation going down? Depends who finds him. If it’s Pat, he could sing him clam like in the cell. If its Roman or Logan, odds are Virgil’s gonna b scared & his response will be to Fight or Freeze, as he already did the Flight option. Virgil reacting like a cornered animal would be terrifying Ro and Lo. (Also Ro and Lo going to wake up Pat for Human Help has the same vibes of a child waking up their parents to tell them they puked lmao)

@killerfangirl3 said: After where you left last chapter, I am 100% terrified Roman will find Virgil before Patton and cause real danger to everyone. After all Virgil is flooded with adrenaline right now and he barely knows how his strength affects the metal? of the ship as it is. The sudden increase in strength if he was attempting to defend himself could cause him to put a hole in the ship.

@hotchocolatehugs said: Oh! Also, would Virgil calm down if Patton found him, or would it just make him worse/more crazed? I dunno about his state of mind, but if I were in his position I would probably be acting aggressively to anyone who came in. Do aliens have hot chocolate or tea, or some equivalent drink? Because I think Virge needs a calming drink. (sorry if this is too much!)

Anonymous said: I saw your latest post and all I could think about is Virgil stuck on the appliance, really high up and close to the ceiling unseen while he sees Roman and Logan below. Maybe a bit of a language barrier while they say some words that Virgil may not no yet and jumping to conclusions and filling in the blanks in the sentences

Anonymous said: I’m afraid that In WIBAR, Roman may keep Pat from going to find and comfort Virgil and just…leave him up there

@katelynn-a-fan said: Mission impossible theme while looking for Virgil. Too short can’t see Virgil on top appliance. Mission impossible theme continues and fades into the distance. (That’s all I got)

Anonymous said: WIBAR suggestions/predictions/fears: I worry about Roman or Logan finding Virgil before Patton - Roman because I don’t think he will be understanding about how afraid Virgil is; Logan because I think that would scare Virgil more. He might break out of his flight stage into fight, and that could make them fear him more. But, while worry about this scenario, maybe it would be for the best. Maybe one or both need to find him at a low to see that he isn’t a monster, just scared.

@enby-phoenix said:

OK so wibar thoughts! I’m a little concerned that Roman will think that Virgil was genuinely trying to attack him with that chair and also probably trying to hurt Logan, and he’s gonna get upsetti. I also think that the way they figure out what’s made Virgil go all fight or flight will probably involve Logan doing the memory share thing, but it’ll take them a bit to get close enough without Virgil threatening to bite Logan’s hands off.

Also PLEASE let my boy eat a full meal and get some proper sleep!

I would also love to see Virgil curled around Patton protectively but everyone knows that it’s Patton who’s making Virgil feel safe.

Another prediction is that Logan, realizing that SOMETHING bad just happened, and knowing that all his information on humans seems to be incorrect or at least not apply to this one, will go to Patton for advice on what to do regarding Virgil’s sudden change of behavior, and how to calm him down again. Cause Patton is the resident expert on Virgil.

I also imagine that Logan might keep his note taking to himself again for a bit, until Virgil believes that he’s not the bad kind of scientist.

I love that Virgil climbed on top of the tallest thing he could find, and I imagine that if it’s above everyone else’s usual eyelines, they each walk past him multiple times while they’re worriedly searching the ship for him.

I’m mostly imagining Virgil clinging to Patton like a lifeline and the other two aliens worrying for their tiny friend but Patton knows that Virgil is just scared and sings him the “calm down baby it’s okay I’m here” hatchling soothing song until Virgil calms down a little, and then still staying with him while explanations are had. They do not come out of the small space on top of the tallest appliance and Roman doesn’t like that but he’ll deal.

Now that I’m thinking about it more, one of the best ways for Logan to gain (at least a little bit of) Virgil’s trust would be for Virgil to see his honest reaction to what the other scientists did to him. Cause based on what I know of Logan, he would be horrified. And that might help Virgil to realize that Logan ISN’T LIKE those other scientists.

Anonymous said: *gets out the defibrillator to help kickstart the creative juices* At this point Virgil is running on fumes and when the trio find him Patton tries to comfort him. But he’s too stressed and feels betrayed and there’s just too much inner turmoil for him to hold back so he finally breaks down in front of them. Perhaps it’s not Patton that manages to calm him down, but Roman who finally recognizes him as a traumatized person rather than “just an evil human” :D

@enby-phoenix said: tbh Virgil probably hisses at either Logan or Roman at some point and it makes them nervous and confused.

Anonymous said: Roman forcing Virgil down from his hiding spot. 'Blade’ to his neck and tying him to a chair. Virgil thinking that he shouldn’t have run and that they are going to be even angrier at him now, ergo more painful experiments. Begging to be put under for the cutting away and to please don’t get mad at Patton (just in case Patton was trying to be a good friend).

Anonymous said: Suggestion for WIBAR - Roman goes looking for Virgil, all ready for a confrontation. But, when he finds him, Virgil unknowingly makes some sort of gesture that means fear/terror to Roman’s people and he stops and evaluates the situation with clearer eyes. This gives Patton/Logan/both a chance to get there.

Anonymous said: Can we get somr wibar fluff/angst?

Anonymous said: I’m just waiting for WIBAR Virgil to just pass out and the panic of everyone that sees him. Or Roman threatening him or Logan goes to touch him and BAM he’s on the floor!

Anonymous said: Stuff for WIBAR: 1: who’s gonna find Virgil? 2: what’re they gonna do with him? 3: how’s he gonna react? – Options: Patton: tries to comfort him Virgil: can’t decide whether to trust or not, maybe leading to emotional outburst and sad PatPat – Logan: scared cuz danger goblin had an outburst at him. Wondering what he did wrong & how to best proceed Virgil: 'he’s gonna do tests on me’ fight or flight – Roman: 'so, if you hurt my friends imma hurt you’ Virgil: fight or flight – ½

Anonymous said: 2/2 Of course those aren’t the only options, but it was fun for me, and I hope it got creative juices flowing for you as well. I love all your writing, and I want you to know that you can take as long as you need to be proud of your work. It’s okay. And take care of yourself too! You can’t make as good of work when you aren’t feeling as good as usual

[welcometotheocverse]

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

[sebastianshaw]

☕️ (House of M. More specifically his relationship to his teammates out of the field. Like Marrow)

I imagine that House of M Shaw is almost all Shaw’s better traits raised to the max, and his worse ones significantly lessened, but he also has flaws that 616 Shaw doesn’t have. For instance, he stopped Sentinel production when he found out he was a mutant, so unlike his 616 counterpart, he does have species loyalty. .  .but that’s not necessarily a good thing. He enforces King Magnus’s rule as director of SHIELD and the Red Guard, but we know that’s a rule which is unfair to humans. So unlike 616 Shaw, this is a Shaw who is loyal to mutantkind even at the expense of humans, but was ready to make anti-mutant death machines when he thought HE was a human. It’s clearly a VERY different mindset than 616 Shaw’s “whatever makes me money” attitude. Which, speaking of, I don’t think he’s greedy, certainly not to the extent his 616 self is. I mean, he stopped Sentinel production and helped Magneto to sabotage many of the Sentinels already on the market, even though these were making him money. And since he’s now working as SHIELD Director, it can be assumed he either gave up being the CEO of Shaw Industries, or is sacrificing a LOT of time in order to be SHIELD Director, and time is money. I’m sure the position pays well, but I very much doubt it’s on par with being the multi-billionaire that being a businessman made him. He’s very. .  .lawful. He literally is the head of law enforcement, the top of the chain of command. Early Shaw in 616 had some Lawful Evil traits, but I prefer to think of House of M Shaw as Lawful Good, since being Lawful Good in itself can be bad so long as that “bad” is what is the law, and I think that fits what I described about him enforcing a system that has unjust aspects. That said, the Good part still provides a lot of contrast to his 616 self. Speaking of---he’s the brave, calm, commanding, very strategic leader that we see him be in The Dark Phoenix Saga and Secret Empire. He’s not the most personable, buddy-buddy boss, but he’s only strict, not cruel, tolerating no nonsense but also looking after his people. He’s very by the book, which can make him seem stiff and like a stick in the mud, but also this means he does follows due process and respects the law even when it benefits the suspects/perpetrators. He keeps his team in line, which includes not letting them use undue force on a target, and if a suspect is cooperative, does not resist, etc., he will note that if he’s asked to testify regarding them. Very strict, very lawful, very fair---when he can be. He can’t mete out the law fairly when it comes to when the young princes causing trouble, for instance. He’s not a “father” to his squad and nor does he try to be, but he treats them with respect and I think Marrow appreciates that. They don’t WANT him trying to be their pal, they don’t WANT someone trying to be close to them, but they lowkey do think of him in a somewhat paternal sense because he is such a strong male authority figure, and they appreciate his fairness towards them, his equal treatment, the fact he does care for his squad’s safety but also doesn’t tolerate insubordination, etc. They can see he has guts and a strong sense of strategy, he gets things done, he keeps things in line, he doesn’t abuse those under him. Marrow respects these things and while they DO get out of line a good bit themselves, Shaw can typically pull them back in because of that respect. Shaw returns that respect. He knows he can count on Marrow and they’re good to have, even if they need a calming influence at times. But that’s fine---he’s got more than one firecracker on this team, after all. He doesn’t show them any favoritism, but I think he might feel just a bit towards them (and Rogue) due to being the youngest on the team. Again, he never oversteps the line into fatherliness, he’s not warm, but he looks out for his team, he looks out for them, while still having high expectations and expecting top performance---as he should, it’s a top team. No kid gloves, but no cruelty either. He appreciates what Marrow brings from a practical standpoint, and treats them like, well, a person, isn’t going to let them burn out or mess themselves up, also isn’t going to let them be overly aggressive with someone when it’s not necessary. He is far less informed about trans stuff than 616 Shaw, so he doesn’t get the they/them thing and thinks that when Marrow says they aren’t a man or woman, means they have some kind of intersex condition. Seeing as that would be impolite to inquire about, he doesn’t ask, and just goes with the pronouns. Marrow can do their job, and that’s all Shaw really is concerned about, not what’s in their pants. I kind of like the idea Shaw might have been the one to pull young Marrow out of the sewers. It might not work timeline wise depending when exactly Magneto took over, but I like the idea. The mutant massacre PROBABLY didn’t happen, but there might well have been SOME kind of SHIELD rescue mission he was involved in. It didn’t result in a deep father/child bond or anything, he’s not Wolverine, he didn’t take them in or raise them as his own, but they do remember him as scooping them up and getting them in a helicopter years ago before they grew up and joined SHIELD themselves, and they’ve never discussed it with him since he’s never brought it up either. In their day to day interactions, Marrow calls him Boss and Chief most of the time in a slightly-jokey way, and will push his limits without ever actually pushing past them. They’re amusing, even if Shaw does a very good job keeping stony-faced, not truly disrespectful, with a knack for getting into trouble. Several of the team have this knack too-- Rogue, Toad, Kurt, probably more---but Marrow’s is very much all their own. They’ve been on the surface for a lot longer if we go with the “pulled out of the sewers/danger by Shaw as a kid” route so they’re better adjusted to things but occasionally stuff still throws them for a loop and it does often fall to Shaw’s shoulders (or Logan’s but why should he get to be the only one?) to Explain the Thing. He has also definitely thrown them at people during combat before and THEY LOVE IT. They don’t interact OUTSIDE of work but that’s because Shaw keeps a very strong divide between work and home, and Marrow feels much the same. They don’t really have a home life to protect like he does, but they do keep people at a distance. They meet him outside the job once, with his family, and it gives them a very weird feeling. Partly is it’s just weird when you encounter people outside the sole role/situation you’re used to them in, like seeing a teacher outside school, because you have no idea what the rules for appropriate interaction are now, but also partly because they very much see Shaw as the leader of their group (which, he is) and seeing him with his family really makes it REAL that he has an entire other ‘group’ that he values and takes care of and it just makes them feel . . . strange, especially given their lack of a bio-family. They give him the cold shoulder for a few weeks after because they just don’t know how to deal, and if he notices, he doesn’t say it (he does, he is just letting it be) They also really like that he DOES bring in snacks for the squad and it’s always really good savory stuff, like authentic pork bao buns from Chinatown with an egg yolk in the middle. Overall they have a bond of mutual respect and while there is a power imbalance/hierarchy it’s one that he does not exploit or abuse, and he takes responsibility for them as much as command. They don’t get any closer than is professional, as befits him being all-business and them being guarded, but do look out for each other and get along well. 

[bagledere]

Thank you for the tag @venueska ily 🥺 even tho tumblr says I’m not allowed to see notifs

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

My friends all get first name privileges otherwise I usually go by Bagel (or more recently John). I’m not opposed to pet names for close friends either. As long as I know ur talking to my odds are I’ll probably answer to it (;

2. when is your birthday?

January 16th!

3. where do you live?

A state of constant despair 😔 jk I’m from Colorado

4. three things you are doing right now?

Watching a game show, eating a graham cracker, and thinking about what we’re gonna have for dinner

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

I rarely get into fandoms of my own volition, most of the time it’s because I have a friend or two hype something up and then I’ll get into it. Right now I’m dipping my toe in the A3 and Ikemen fandoms. I’ve been into the wayhaven chronicles for a little longer but I also like to lurk in fandoms as opposed to actively participating. I’m usually not into Kpop but I like mamamoo a lot.

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

Pretty well I’d say. I was struggling for awhile because I wasn’t used to the isolation but honestly, I’m at a point where I’m ready to move forward. I’m out of a toxic relationship, I have plans for creating a game in the future, I’m going off to college soon...I’m pretty excited to see what’s coming

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Forgetting all about you by Phoebe Ryan! This song is generally how I’ve been handling my breakup minus all the drugs 😌. I thought I’d be sadder tbh but honestly? Lowkey having the time of my life

8. recommend a movie.

I mostly watch horror movies lol. the taking of Deborah Logan fucking haunts me so if you wanna be scarred for life by all means! I also recommend the autopsy of Jane Doe. It has one of the best atmospheres I’ve ever seen although the end was p anticlimactic

9. how old are you?

Less than a month from being 18 :D

10. school, university, occupation, other?

I’m about to graduate from high school and I’m also supposed to graduate with my associates from my local community college! This means I’ll be heading into my junior year when I go off to university

11. do you prefer hot or cold?

I prefer being cold generally. I do like hot food tho

12. name one fact others might not know about you

I can speak French!

13. are you shy?

Not really. I’m pretty reserved when first meeting someone new but that lasts for like two minutes tops lmao

14. your pronouns?

She/her or they/them!

15. biggest pet peeves?

Leaving seconds on the microwave, backseat drivers, people who can’t be honest, lowkey im annoyed by a lot lol

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

I have a soft spot for tsunderes, as u can tell by my blog title

17. rate your life from 1-10

I’d say a solid 7/10. Could be better could be worse

18. what’s your main blog?

This one

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

No I’m too embarrassed ❤️

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

Hmm don’t think so! I’m nice I promise so never be afraid to say hello

I’m tagging @bellarxse @bubblelaureno and @richhdesire

[fiive-second-cookies]

A Logince bullet fic thing based off dodie’s “Arms Unfolding” song

I wrote this like a month ago and said I’d post it and then never did, but here it finally is!

Hope I’m not tired of rebuilding ‘Cause this might take a little more •night before The Meeting •a few months after they broke up •Roman is crying because something reminded him of Logan, his ex boyfriend, and it’s just one of those days •Ro calls Patton over and Patton is lovely and helps Roman feel better with supportive back rubs and Disney movies I think I’d like to try look at you And feel the way I did before •*fast forward to the next morning* •To say Roman was having a bad morning was a major understatement •he woke up late, missed an audition, his manager called to tell him he didn’t get the part in one of the plays he auditioned for, he was completely out of his favorite jam, and he had forgotten to do laundry the day before so his outfit plans were ruined •could his day possibly get any worse?! •he goes to his favorite coffee shop for some coffee •if Roman had been less frazzled, he would have seen Remy’s subtle panicked glance to the corner of the the shop by the window where a certain bespectacled nerd was sitting and reading a book •but Remy recovers quickly and Ro remains oblivious •Remy the barista is a snarky but lovable sass queen •”wow, Ro, bad morning?” snickering •”shut it, Rem. I’m not in the mood” •Roman turns around to leave, coffee cup in hand, and instantly locks eyes with Logan across the coffee shop •*sharp intake of breath* •yes. apparently his day could get worse.

(the rest is under the cut because this is pretty long)

Oh, our fire died last winter All of the shouting blew it out •flashback to fights and arguments towards the end of when they were still together •they both kept getting mad over stupid, unimportant things •Logan was staying up all night to work •Roman was coming home late from rehearsals •Roman was leaving a mess on the kitchen table from a craft (“there is glitter all over the table, Roman!”) •Logan wouldn’t stop studying to eat or sleep or focus on Ro •Logan forgot their two year anniversary •neither of them could remember how the last argument had started, but it was the worst one by far, and it ended with untruthful things (“maybe it’d just be easier if we weren’t together!”) being said and they were both crying and Logan stormed out of Roman’s apartment •needless to say, they had broken up •(all because of about a month of like two or three trivial arguments a week) •Ro collapsed to the floor as soon as the door slammed shut, chest heaving as he sobbed You know I could live without or with you But I might like having you about •Roman took the breakup… really hard, to say the least •he refused to answer calls or texts from anyone for nearly a week •and in that week he barely slept or ate food •finally, Patton had Enough™️ and got extremely worried •with the help of Virgil, they figured out a way to get into Ro’s apartment (aka calling Roman’s moms cuz they have a spare key to his apartment for emergencies) •the place was a mess, to put it kindly •and Roman was even worse •Virgil wasn’t sure how to help, so Patton took control and went full Dad Mode with Ro. Feeding him, making sure he took a shower and changed clothes, tidying up his apartment, and letting Roman cry his heart out •Patton is literally the sweetest person and the bestest friend ever •after about two weeks, Roman is finally feeling better •(he’s not actually better (his heart is still shattered and sometimes he still cries himself to sleep) but at least now he’s able to get back to work and talk to his friends and family) •Roman seems mostly fine to the outside world (except Patton and occasionally Virgil) and life returns to “normal” •Roman will still cry to Pat about missing Logan occasionally tho, usually during their weekly sleepover Yes, these new walls are pretty hard to crack And it might take a while until I trust you won’t attack •*back to the present in the coffee shop* •Logan is Shook for a moment and his eyes go wide •then Logan takes a deep breath and relaxes somewhat, putting on a neutral facade •Roman knows he can’t just leave now, so he walks over to Logan’s table •both of them are definitely feeling a bit awkward •”uh, hey, Logan” •”salutations, Roman” •a few beats of awkward silence •Lo: “so… how’ve you been?” •”uh, I’ve been… fine” (lie) “how about you?” •”I… I’ve been busy with work and my studies, but things have been going… great” (now they’re both lying) “I suppose you’ve been busy, too, with your successful attempts at professional make-believe?” •”oh, uh, y-yeah of course. I’ve been super busy with lots of auditions and rehearsals and… and performances” •that’s only half true •Roman has been busy with lots of auditions •but he’s been a little… lackluster since the breakup, and hasn’t gotten any big roles •Logan lifts an eyebrow slightly, obviously picking up on Roman’s hesitance and lie •”are you quite sure?” •Roman’s eyes narrow “of course I’m sure!” •Logan is closely inspecting Roman, and can clearly see the walls the boisterous man has put up against him •”well, it has been enjoyable to catch up with you. but you probably have places to be, and I have must leave for work soon” •Roman is grateful for the obvious attempt at providing an escape •”yes, of course. Great, uh—great talking to you, Lo” •Roman misses the slip-up in his haste, but Logan’s breath hitches at the use of his nickname •Roman is already halfway out the door by the time Lo recovers enough to lift a shaky hand in goodbye •a few hours later, Ro calls Patton in a lowkey panicked state •the two go out for dinner and Ro tells Patton everything Oh, I apologize, but it was only self-defense Running away just made sense •*flash forward about a week maybe* •Roman is in a rush because his manager is going to kill him he can’t be late for another audition •and Roman quite literally runs into Logan •Roman spills his coffee and drops the sandwich he was trying to stuff in his mouth between whispered curses as he was walking •Logan drops a few papers he had been reading through, only narrowly keeping hold on the laptop bag slung on his shoulder •”oh my goodness I’m so sor—Logan! I— uh, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” •”no, Roman, it’s alright. I apologize about your drink and food. Perhaps… you’d let me repay you?” •Roman does a double take •”um… sure” •his manager was so going to kill him •Logan leads the way to a nearby park and buys them each a pretzel ((don’t ask me why, I couldn’t thing of anything else)) •they walk in a mostly awkward silence •Logan stops at a park bench right underneath a big tree •and of course it just has to be one of their favorite spots from when they were dating •they sit down and now it’s really awkward •after a few minutes, Roman speaks up •”I… I’m sorry for… running away last week, y’know, at the coffee shop” •”you don’t need to apologize, I understand” •more awkward silence •”actually… I’d like to apologize as well” •Roman finally turns towards Lo with a questioning look •”the way things… ended between us… was not… was not, um…” •Roman is shocked to hear Logan at a loss for words •”I just— I am very sorry, Roman. That was not a good way to end our relationship. And… honestly… I— I wish our relationship hadn’t ended at all” •Roman’s breath hitches and he goes to say something •”no! Sorry, but, please, just listen to me” •Roman, reluctantly, stays quiet •”Roman, I miss being with you. Right before we broke up, I was extremely stressed and my temper was unbelievably short. I should not have taken out my… emotions… on you. Looking back, most of our arguments were… pointless and petty.” •Roman goes to interrupt, but Logan keeps going •”of course, I do not take full responsibility for our disagreements. We both know that the fault lies with both of us. But we should have communicated better to solve our issues, rather than yelling over silly problems and allowing the other to stay angry.” •Logan has been staring forward the whole time, but now, he glances at Roman •”while we were dating, Roman, I was the happiest I’ve ever been. And since we’ve broken up, I’ve felt… incomplete. Almost… hollow. You helped me learn how to accept my emotions, but without you around, I’ve locked away my feelings, once again, into a metaphorical box and completely ignored them” •tears form in Logan’s eyes •”all this to say… I hope that, one day, we can… try again. Not dating! Not necessarily, of course. I would never, ever force you to do something you don’t want to do. But, at the very least, I’d like to try being friends again, Ro” But here I am with arms unfolding I guess it isn’t quite the end •Roman has tears running down his cheeks now •”Lo“—his voice cracks with emotion—“Logan, I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry we fought like that, and I’m sorry we broke up. You’re absolutely right, we should have handled our emotions better and not let them take over. I’m just— I’m so so sorry, Lo” •Roman is fully crying now •Logan grabs Ro’s hand, and Roman holds on almost painfully tight, but Logan doesn’t mind at all •”it’s been so hard the past few months without you. There hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t missed you. God, I’ve missed you so much, Lo” •The tears fall silently from Logan’s eyes now too •”you are absolutely right. We should have communicated better instead of getting into arguments. We shouldn’t have let a few petty disagreements ruin our whole relationship. I deeply regret not fixing that problem and just letting it get out of hand. I’m sorry” •Logan holds out his arms and Roman doesn’t even hesitate to collapse against the other man’s chest •Logan wraps his arms around Roman and the two sit there, Roman holding back sobs and Logan silently letting his tears fall Old partner in crime, I’m going to try To fall in love with you again •After a few minutes, both of them have calmed down a bit •Roman leans back, but makes sure Logan’s arms stay wrapped around him •”about your offer—” •Logan’s eyes widen ever so slightly and he tightens his arms around the other •”I’d love to be friends again, Logan.” •Logan lets out a relieved breath •”in fact, I’d love to try dating you again. Only if you want to though! And we’d take things slow, of course! But I just feel like we’ve both learned from our mistakes and grown in the last few months. We know now that communication is extremely important, especially when our emotions are at extremes.” •Logan smiles •”I would also love to rekindle our relationship, Roman.” •Roman smiles back •”would you like to accompany me on a date to… say, dinner at your favorite restaurant?” •Roman’s smile gets impossibly wider •”that sounds wonderful, Lo. Meet tomorrow at seven?” •”that’s perfect, Ro” •these two nerds in love just stare at each other, smiling and happier than they’ve been in months •until Roman’s phone rings, his manager’s name showing up on the screen •”oh, shit”

[mendaxiety]

hey i know you don’t usually write headcannons but i was wondering what you think each of the sides kinks are? like what you associate with them?

ACTUALLY I absolutely can and will write headcanons, please always ask me about headcanons because boi do I have em. Let’s think about it! Please note that these are just personal headcanons for my own versions of the characters that I like writing, and I might view certain ones as more submissive/dominant than another. Hopefully we can all still share in the kink~ ALSO unless asked not to, Deceit will be included as he is my fave.

LOGAN

Bondage. When I think of Logan, I think of pretty, intricate bondage, of the violet bruises being tied up leaves on your skin, and of the vulnerability bondage offers. He practices shibari by himself, and he’s quite adept at tying and untying knots now. Likes tying up and being the one tied up. 

Edging. Logan loves to test self-control, whether his or someone else’s. Edging is a perfect way to do that. He’s edged himself almost a month before, and he does so love the impatience of making a lover edge themselves, and the final moment when they (or he) burst is exquisite. 

Oral fixation, as a whole. I’m not the first to sign Logan off on this, but I really feel it. Logan is a focused person, focused people often chew things in their distraction, viola. Logan just likes sucking things, nibbling things…necks, fingers. 

PATTON 

Spanking/implement play. He likes turning a naughty bottom red, or sometimes, having someone turn the tables if he needs some release, too. The warm feeling slowly spreading through him, the stinging getting worse until finally he breaks… Or the reverse, when he can feel his lover crumbling, giving in, and they’re just leaking in his lap, not knowing if they’re crying for him to stop or keep going.

Marking. You wouldn’t think Patton to be possessive, but he kind of is. He loves hickeys, little bite marks, scratches covering his back. It just makes him feel wanted, or seeing it on a lover makes it feel special, like he’s left a part of him with them!

Discipline/Reinforcement. In a way, it also kind of leads into a daddy kink. Patton likes taking care of his lover, spoiling them, but if they act bad…Patton has no problem setting them straight. Sometimes his lover just needs some guidance, a strong hand, some reminders to do good. It’s not just spanking, either. Patton can do timeouts, revoke privileges, use ice, all sorts of things. 

Note on daddy kink; Patton will lose his mind if his lover calls him that. Picture one of the sides doing it in bed by accident, or they say it jokingly, and something in Patton just…changes. 

ROMAN

Roleplay. Roman loves spicing up the bedroom by creating different scenes to play in, different characters to act out their love life. He doesn’t care who he plays or if there’s multiple people, either. Prince and damsel (what is the male version of damsel? is it just damsel?) in distress; master and pet; assassin and target? He’s ready. 

Praise and worship, either giving or receiving. Roman loves being lavished in attention and being told how pretty he is, how good he’s being… Body worship also ties into this, he can take hours with a lover, just smothering them with affection, and he loves the same in return. Kisses, soft touches, foreplay until they can’t stand it anymore. 

Wax play. Especially if his partner drips a pretty display onto him. Roman just loves the jump of pain and the pleasant heat, he can make a night of it. 

VIRGIL

Danger/fear play. The immense trust his partner has in him for this plays a big role, but the play itself does, too. Knife play, gun play, “hunting” his partner, the general adrenaline rush is another big factor. It all makes for a very passionate night, and it can either be rough, or slow, with him tracing the blade down his lover’s body, or slowly pressing the barrel of the (unloaded!! do not play with loaded guns!!!! i have a gun kink and you do not fuck around!) gun against their mouth. (seriously they make gun shaped sex toys just play with that if you try this)

Clothes. Virgil likes the way lace/silk, stuff like that, feels on his skin. He also likes seeing his lover dressed up nice for him. Sometimes even feeds into a clothed-sex kink. 

Dom/Sub so lowkey they all kinda have this, but it’s bigger for some of them, and Virgil’s one. He loves putting someone on their knees, maybe collaring them…again, it feeds into someone having that trust and respect for him. Plus, the sight is just so pretty.

DECEIT

Violence. Bruises, biting, getting thrown around. Consensual nonconsent. Generally, Dee likes the rougher side of kink. He likes not being able to walk right (or at all) after, he likes touching the bruises after, he likes being forced into submission.

IRONICALLY shares the praise kink with Roman. Dee has demons to work out, maybe why he’s so attracted to violence, but hearing someone softly telling him he’s so beautiful, having them gently run a hand up his belly, or trace their fingertips over his scales? Dee’s a mess. 

Teasing. Dee’s a big tease. He can have someone so riled up they damn near want to break him. He also likes softer teasing, just goading someone on, or teasing someone to the edge until they’re begging...which is also a bit of a kink for him. 

anyway remember how i said virgil might collar someone? it was deceit 

ALL

Aftercare. They all do it different, but they all engage in it. Big thing. Huge deal. Never skip or slack on it. Even Deceit who likes being broken has learned to like being put back together.

[notveryglittery]

Contact

summary: His touch was tender and soft, as most things to do with Patton tended to be, but it felt to Roman like fire and electricity, warm and tingling, but hot and stinging. words: 5k // ships: romantic royality <3 (lowkey lamp) warnings: touch starvation, self-hatred, negative thoughts notes: dani writing another royality fic? it’s more likely than you think. anyway, nick threw touch starved roman at me and then it turned into This. i’m really proud of it so i hope you all like it <3 

read on ao3 | references my version of roman’s room quite a lot, which you can get a brief description of in away, if you like! 

Touch felt different in the Fantasy Realm. Not that Roman minded, entirely. It worked more often than not and that was usually good enough for him. His cravings were satisfied and he wasn’t left embarrassed afterwards. Handshakes from grateful villagers and hugs from visiting royalty happened frequently in his expeditions. He’d long since gotten used to the sensation of skin against skin, of strong hands gripping his shoulders, of kisses pressed to his cheeks. It was all fine and good and nice. It was fine. It was fine.

“Roman?”

Startled from his thoughts by a gentle touch on his wrist, Roman jerked away from the contact. He cradled his arm against his chest, glaring at the side that had intruded on his space. It was Patton. His harsh expression melted away quickly, eyes softening. “Yes, dearheart?”

Patton blushed, though Roman couldn’t be sure if it was because he was flustered by the nickname or because he felt shame at having apparently upset Roman. That wasn’t exactly true, though. Roman wasn’t upset at the contact, it had just surprised him. It’d felt much more… real, than anything from the Fantasy Realm ever had. How long had it been since he’d last hugged one of the others? With surprising clarity, Roman remembered it’d been two weeks ago, when Patton had embraced him and thanked him for helping to wash the dishes. Goosebumps rose along his skin at the realization; it didn’t seem like that long, but perhaps the Fantasy Realm had been tiding him over better than he thought? It didn’t matter; he wasn’t going to ask, he couldn’t come off as clingy. Princes didn’t need affection.

“I was wondering,” Patton was saying, looking like he’d already cheered up again. “Do you want to join us for game night?”

Was that tonight? Didn’t he have an evil sorcerer to defeat? Patton was staring at him with such big, hopeful eyes, though, and maybe the Fantasy Realm could handle itself for one evening. He flashed Patton a dazzling smile and basked in the starry eyed look that shone in his eyes. “I would never turn down an opportunity to show you all how marvelous I am!”

Well, Clue might not have been the best board game for Roman to show off his skills. Playing as Miss Scarlett allowed him the chance to go first but Logan, who had taken the token of Mr. Green, was clearly better with murder mysteries. Virgil (Professor Plum, of course) came close in second with his meticulous guesses. Patton (with Mrs. Peacock) was just having fun, moving between rooms, and making the most ridiculous accusations. It didn’t help that Roman just wasn’t rolling well tonight and it was taking far longer than usual to navigate the board.

Logan ended up winning, with the correct combination of Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick. 

“Congratulations, Lo!!” Patton cheered. “You’re so clever! I wasn’t even close!” He laid his notes down, allowing the others to see that he’d really just been doodling every time he wrote.

“I was so close,” Virgil moaned, showing his detective sheet to Logan, who hummed in appreciation. “I had it narrowed down to two weapons! Look, I had the rest of it!” He glowered at the Professor Plum piece and knocked it away with a twitch of his fingers.

“How’d you do, Princey?” Virgil asked, bumping shoulders with the royal.

Roman jolted away from the contact. “Do you mind—” He snapped before realizing just who he was talking to and clamping his mouth shut. 

The room went quiet and tension settled over the table. He tossed his cards and notes aside and stood up. 

“I’m tired,” he lied, “good night.” He sunk out before anyone else could speak.

The floor to ceiling windows in his room allowed a view of rolling hills and endless night sky but all it did was make Roman feel worse. He rubbed at where Virgil had nudged him, wondering why it’d felt like how he imagined being electrocuted might. It’d been the same sensation with Patton’s careful touch earlier. Changing out of his regal attire and into his comfiest pajamas, Roman sat down on the end of his bed. The doors to the Fantasy Realm weren’t fully closed (were they ever, though? He was so bad about making sure they actually clicked shut anytime he went in or out) and he could hear the song of adventure calling to him.

You need to sleep, kiddo! He could hear Patton insisting, a sweet smile in his tone.

We’ve been over this, Roman. He could hear Logan scolding him.

Come on, man, even I know better. He could hear Virgil, as if it were a challenge.

Roman crawled underneath the covers and pulled Mrs. Fluffybottom close to his chest. He’d make up for his failure lack of heroics in the morning.

[~] [~] [~]

A knock at the door woke Roman. 

“Come in,” he answered, voice raised just aloud enough that the visitor could hear. What time was it? He rubbed at his eyes as the door opened slowly. Patton’s beaming face peered in.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!” He said gently, padding towards the bed. He was carrying a tray of something but Roman was still too tired to figure out what it was.

“What time is it?” He asked, groping around for his phone. He found it under a pillow and frowned when the display stayed stubbornly dark. The red light flashed on it, indicating a dead battery. He tossed it away and sat up, combing his fingers through his hair to try and tame the bedhead.

“A little after ten,” Patton answered, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “I made breakfast!”

That much was clear, Roman realized, when Patton set down the platter of food. It was filled with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and pancakes. A glass of apple juice sat beside the plates and a bowl of sliced fruit added color to the spread. He gave Patton a look that was best described as flabbergasted. 

“This… you…” He hoped he could play off the emotion at Patton’s treat as just still working on waking up.

“You must’ve been really tired last night.” Patton drew Roman’s blankets aside, making sure the tray had a solid place to sit. “I’m glad you got to sleep in, though. You deserve it.”

Roman wasn’t sure he did deserve it, just like he didn’t deserve the kindness Patton was showing him. After all, he’d glared at Patton, and snapped at Virgil, and Logan probably thought him a sore loser after his dismissive exit. He flinched when Patton’s hand went through his hair, ruffling the tangled locks. Patton drew away immediately and Roman wanted to do whatever it took to fix the forced smile on the paternal side’s face. “I’ll let you eat, okay?”

Patton was up and leaving before Roman could figure out what to say. The door had shut by the time he managed, with a choked voice, “thank you.”

It took longer than usual for Roman to get ready, though he couldn’t figure out why. By the time his hair was styled, and his blemishes hidden by concealer, and his sash laying just right, it was nearing one in the afternoon. He flung the doors to the Fantasy Realm open and stepped through. It was warm and bright, the sun shining with nary a cloud in sight. A breeze curled around him and birds chirped in the distance. He took the path well traveled to the nearest town. Everything seemed in order, despite his lack of a visit the night before. It was his realm after all and it wasn’t often it got out of his control. Soon, peaks of roofs and smoke rising from fires appeared in the distance. At the prospect of praise from the villagers and the possibility of being sent on a new quest, Roman’s pace picked up.

The moment his foot landed beyond the low stone barrier surrounding the furthest houses, any tension in his shoulders melted away.

“Your highness!” A cry came from down the road and suddenly, he was swarmed with adults and children alike. They patted him on the back, and shook his hands, and hugged him tight, and he relished in every touch.

“We’re so happy to see you, Prince Roman!”

“Will you tell us again the story of how you defeated the Dragon Witch?!”

“It is an honor having you here. Is there anything we can get for you?”

Roman found himself in a pub, standing atop a table, as he regaled them with his most daring tales. Food and drink were served, a group of bards played as the backdrop to his storytelling, and he preened in the glow of awe and gratitude. In no time at all, he was off on another voyage, sent to find the missing daughter of the town’s blacksmith. He found her held hostage by a party of bandits, who would return her in exchange for better weapons. Roman took care of them quickly and returned the girl to her father.

It wasn’t until the uncomfortable sensation of someone being in his room without invite that Roman was ripped out of his fantasy. Not bothering to return to the doors, he sank out and back in. He arrived clumsily, staggering at how real everything felt suddenly. Another side effect of spending too much time in his Realm, though he was usually alone to deal with it.

“Roman! I’m sorry! I should’ve waited!” It was Patton, who quickly caught Roman by the shoulders, before he could fall over. “What… what happened to you?!”

Nothing, Roman started to say, except that no sound came out, because now he was actually getting a good look at himself, and finding that he was far more beat up than he realized. It didn’t help that Patton’s hands curled around his upper arms were burning in a way that was simultaneously painful and soothing.

“Ran into a bit of trouble on a quest,” Roman reassured through a proud, if not pained, smile. “The damsel in distress was rescued, darling, no need to worry.”

Patton wound an arm around Roman’s waist and led him to the couch. “That’s not who I’m worried about!” He admonished, though his tone was careful. He sat Roman down and conjured a first aid kit, not planning to leave his side for a minute. 

“I was nervous when you didn’t make it for lunch,” Patton spoke as he gestured for Roman to take his shirt off. The prince went red but did as requested, not keen on upsetting Patton any further. “And then you missed dinner, too!”

Roman didn’t realize the time until Patton mentioned it; the moon was risen in the sky outside his windows and his stomach growled quite suddenly. Much like touch, food in the Fantasy Realm wasn’t entirely satisfying. With gentle movements and steady hands, Patton began to patch Roman up. His touch was tender and soft, as most things to do with Patton tended to be, but it felt to Roman like fire and electricity, warm and tingling, but hot and stinging. Without quite realizing, his hands curled slowly into fists, and his breathing became slow and shallow.

Patton seemed to snap out of Dad Mode and he sat back, pulling away from Roman entirely. “I’m sorry,” he apologized meekly. “That was… I should’ve respected your space better, I just…” He waved a hand at the supplies and peeked at Roman from behind the frame of his glasses. “I think you’ll be okay.” He started to put everything away before standing and clutching the first aid kit to his chest. “I’m going to bring you up some soup, alright?”

Before Roman could protest, Patton was gone. Fingers tracing gently over the bandaged wounds, Roman swore when he felt the heavy pressure behind his eyes, and then swore again when tears streaked unbidden down his cheeks. “Some prince you are,” he muttered, “can’t even say thank you.”

[~] [~] [~]

It continued like this for enough days that even Roman got tired of it. He wasn’t one for consistency, for boring routines and tidy schedules. That was more Logan’s thing and they were constantly at odds, anyway, so what was one more point of contention? Thankfully, Virgil and Logan didn’t seem upset or disappointed with him after his behavior on game night. Then again, they could’ve been just as good at pretending as he was. Family meals went by smoothly, with easy chatter. Planning videos tended to be the same as usual: Roman with big dreams, Logan offering easier goals, Virgil pointing out the flaws, and Patton supporting them all in one way or another.

Still, somehow, Roman avoided coming in physical contact with them.

It wasn’t like he tried. In fact, if anything, it seemed like the others kept their distance just as much as he did. That was fine. Really. It made it easier for him to ignore the urges to ask them for hugs or to hold their hands or to join him on the couch for a cuddle pile. He spent even more time in the Fantasy Realm, somehow, and didn’t realize how dependent he’d grown on those touches until two weeks after Patton had taken care of him.

It was movie night and Virgil had just put Big Hero 6 into the DVD player. Logan was sat in the recliner, legs stretched out, and looking ready to doze off. He’d had a long day, helping Thomas to file his taxes. Virgil was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and Patton on the cushion behind him, petting his hair. Roman lounged beside Patton, longing for the same treatment, but knowing better than to bother the pair. Virgil deserved Patton’s attention; he had stressed over Thomas not meeting the deadline on aforementioned taxes, and was feeling particularly drained. All Roman had done today was write down more nonsensical ideas for videos.

“Ro?” Patton asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on his knee.

Roman reacted in an entirely undignified sort of manner; he whined, a low, miserable sound that had Virgil looking up at him, startled. Patton’s grip tightened before he let go completely and drew his arm back. 

“Sorry,” he said immediately and Roman fought every screaming cell in his body that begged to touch, to throw himself into Patton’s lap, to curl up with him, to have his hair played with.

“Was there something you needed, sunshine?” He asked instead, smiling effortlessly at Thomas’ morality, his heart, his emotions. If anyone were to think something wrong with the way Roman reacted any time he was touched, it’ d be Patton. Roman hoped it never came to that.

“We’re…” He hesitated, as if he wanted to say something else, but Virgil nudged him in the leg. “Out of popcorn,” he finished, gesturing to the empty bowl. “Do you mind making more? You’re the best at distributing the butter evenly.”

“Of course!” Roman proclaimed, retrieving the dish and stepping around Virgil. He gave them a dramatic bow, “anything for you two!” 

Roman darted out of the room and into the kitchen so Virgil couldn’t keep looking at him strangely. He was apparently pretty set on it, however, when barely two minutes later, he shuffled into the kitchen as well. The kernels were popping in a pan on the stove and in another, Roman was melting butter.

“I think Patton’s three seconds away from taking pictures of Logan passed out in the recliner,” Virgil said, in a tone that was meant to be light, but Roman could tell was already bordering on curious. Virgil wanted to know what his deal was.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Roman responded easily, shooting Virgil a smirk over his shoulder. “I know he’s got photos of you passed out in all sorts of places.”

Virgil flushed red and rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. “Last time I fall asleep in front of him,” he mumbled, glaring towards the living room.

“Aww, no!” Roman rushed to fix it, “I didn’t mean it like that! You know he just loves you and is always really happy that you’re so comfortable around him!”

“Yeah. Sure. Uhm.” Virgil paused. “Speaking of being comfortable around Patton.”

“That was certainly a… segue.” Roman tried to joke, looking away, and focusing on their snacks.

“You’ve…” Virgil sighed and seemed to make a decision. “You’ve been really jumpy around him lately. Around… well, all of us, actually. Are you…” Roman could hear him shifting on his feet. “Is everything okay?”

Roman picked a piece of leftover popcorn out of the bowl and turned around, flicking it at Virgil. “Never better, Paramorose,” Roman teased and Virgil huffed at the nickname. “All my latest conquests have got me a bit jumpy,” he admitted, liar a voice hissed in the back of his mind, “on guard at all times. Just in case.”

Virgil broke the distance between them and reached forward, slow and careful, giving Roman the time to move away if he wanted to. That would just raise suspicion, though, and so he stood still, smiling tightly, as Virgil rested a hand on his forearm. 

“You know where to find me if you want to talk,” he said quietly before backing away and Roman resisted the cry at the back of his throat, the want urge need, just one hug, a hand pressed gently to his cheek, anything.

“In the Tragic Kingdom that is your room, of course,” Roman said instead, smiling effortlessly, at Thomas’ anxiety, his fears, his regrets. Virgil would be the next, Roman figured, to find something wrong with the way Roman reacted to touch. It would never come to that, Roman thought, it can’t ever come to that.

Virgil left him, then, letting him get back to the popcorn and butter, and Roman allowed himself to slip mindlessly into the task.

[~] [~] [~]

“Roman!!!!”

He could hear the exclamation marks in Patton’s call and there was no denying the smile that curled onto his lips. “Yes, darling?”

Patton, in his excitement, seemed to forget Roman’s negative reactions to touch, and grabbed both of his hands. “I want to go adventuring with you today! Can I come?! Please, please, please!!!”

Sparks raced through his palms and up his arms and goosebumps rose along his skin at the sensation. “What ever for?” He asked, trying to wrap his head around why on Earth Patton would want to join him for something so tedious. “It’s quite dreadful, really. You’ll be bored.”

Patton’s eager smile dropped into an angry pout. His hands pulled away and curled into fists, where he planted them firmly on his hips. “Now, kiddo! You know I’ll have fun with you no matter what!” The pout turned wobbly and quite suddenly, he was using the big, puppy dog eyes on Roman.

“Ah!” Roman cried, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and falling against the wall. “Not the Patton Pout and Puppy Eyes combo!” He peeked one eye open and, upon seeing Patton’s face again, clutched at his heart. “It’s super effective!”

Patton’s delighted giggling revived Roman in no time at all. “Is that a yes?!”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Roman reassured, “I could never say no to you.”

Soon enough, Roman and Patton found themselves in the Fantasy Realm. Patton had packed plenty of snacks, to last them through at least three whole adventures, as well as extra sweaters in case they got cold. Roman hadn’t figured it important to remind Patton that it was Roman’s realm, and he could change the weather if necessary. It was the thought that counted.

They headed on horseback (or, in Patton’s case, unicorn-back) to a village that had just celebrated its bountiful harvest. There were streamers made of flowers strung up between homes, the sound of music playing out of every tavern or inn, windows and doors thrown wide open. The inhabitants were in high spirits and even more so when their Prince arrived.

“Your highness! It’s an honor to have you!” A firm clap on the shoulder.

“We’ve been so lucky in our crops thanks to your hard work!” A tight embrace.

“Prince Ro, Prince Ro, won’t you tell us a story?!” Children tugging on his hands.

If Roman were paying attention, he’d see the astounded look on Patton’s face. The absolute surprise to see Roman responding so well to touch; for a moment, Patton was hurt. Had he they done something to irritate Roman? Was Patton Were they too clingy? Did he hate him them?

“Oh, hello, dear. I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of your company before.” A woman said suddenly, pulling Patton into her arms. It was disorienting. There was no doubting the arms around him, the weight of another body, the realization that this was a hug, but— It was all wrong. There was no warmth, no love, no sincerity.

Patton’s heart broke.

It was no wonder Roman couldn’t handle touches from the others. He’d grown dependent on these sorts of interactions. How long had it been since Patton properly hugged him? Sure, he’d allowed himself careful touches, but he’d been avoiding invading Roman’s space, because he was under the impression Roman was uncomfortable with it. Logan wasn’t one for physical contact, anyway, and while the logical side was observant, he’d been awfully busy the last month. Virgil had said something was wrong after movie night but Patton insisted they listen to Roman and let him be. He wouldn’t lie to them, after all.

The crowd dispersed eventually and Patton watched Roman carefully as he went down on one knee, to meet a small girl at eye level. He smiled at her, charming and carefree. His eyes glistened when her little hands smushed his cheeks together. She giggled when he tickled her sides before darting away and back to her mother.

“Hey, Ro,” Patton said quietly as the royal stood and turned to face him, “don’t I get a hug?”

Patton didn’t think it possible for a broken heart to break again but the startled look on Roman’s face did the trick. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It was clear to Patton now, just how easily Roman could put on those wide, fake smiles. “I could never say no to you,” and the same repeated promise from earlier stitched Patton’s broken heart back together.

He was very careful in wrapping his arms around Roman, winding them underneath and around his lower back. Roman, taller in height by a few inches, returned the embrace around Patton’s shoulders, and rested his chin atop Patton’s head.

For a moment, they were still, but it was warm and loving and sincere.

And then Roman’s entire body shuddered and there was no denying the sob that broke through his defenses. He collapsed in Patton’s arms and they both went down, landing clumsily on the cobbled road.

“I’m sorry,” he was apologizing in an instant, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Sweetheart,” Patton tried.

“I didn’t mean to, I know you don’t want me to—”

“Honey,” Patton attempted.

“I’ll be better next time, I promise—”

“Roman,” Patton interrupted, his own voice cracking. He ignored the looks from bystanders as he practically pulled Roman into his lap. It was awkward; their limbs were tangled uncomfortably and the ground was rough, but Patton didn’t care. He carded one hand through Roman’s hair and ran another hand up and down his back.

Roman’s skin felt like it was on fire. Why had he been denying this for so long? The Fantasy Realm had nothing on Patton, probably even Virgil and Logan, too, and how could he have been so foolish?

“Roman, I’m so sorry,” Patton apologizing broke through the haze and Roman stared at him with wet eyes, confused. “I should have noticed sooner.” He laughed and Roman hated the bitter undertones in it. “I’m supposed to be the feelings,” and Roman hated the way his voice wavered, “I should have noticed sooner.”

“Patton,” Roman could barely manage a whimper, “it’s not your fault.”

Patton shook his head and opened his mouth to disagree but one of Roman’s fingers pressed gently against his lips to quiet him. “It isn’t.”

Patton looked ready to argue but instead, he heaved a big sigh, and let it out in a long exhale. “How about we head back to the mindscape?”

Roman snapped his fingers and they were back in his room. Sunlight was streaming through the windows and it only added to the warmth Roman was currently drowning in. “I thought…” He made no move to leave Patton’s embrace, “I thought you all didn’t want me to… to…”

Patton looked aghast. “We thought that you didn’t!”

When Roman snorted, it was with disbelief and frustration. “Miscommunication. Of course.”

Roman would’ve been happy to stay there for as long as Patton was willing but it was starting to be a bit immense. It’d been so long since he’d had a proper hug like this. He hadn’t realized how desperately he’d needed it but now that he did have it, he was positively buzzing.

“Patton,” he said softly, loath to break the comfortable silence they sat in. “My foot fell asleep.”

“Oh?” Patton hummed, resting his cheek against the top of Roman’s head. “I could go for a nap right now, too.”

Roman chuckled, gently scratching Patton’s back, up and down, with slow easy movements. “Can we… get up? Actually?”

Patton seemed to snap out of his daze and he drew back — but only infinitesimally. When he looked Roman dead in the eyes, there was hardly a hair’s breadth between them. Roman inhaled sharply at the expression on Patton’s face: furrowed brows, fierce eyes, mouth set in a thin line. “Not because you think I’m tired of holding you, right?”

Roman, had he the space, would’ve shook his head. “No, dearest, no…”

Patton waited a full five seconds before he seemed satisfied with the answer. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Roman’s forehead. They somehow unraveled from their pretzel of an embrace and when they stood, they both wobbled. Grabbing onto each other for balance, Roman sighed at the utter comfort he felt from Patton’s hands grasping his arms.

“Okay,” Patton said, moving his grip down until he was holding both of Roman’s hands. “What now?”

The sun was setting outside of the windows and Roman knew dinner needed to be made soon. “I’m sure Logan and Virgil will want to hear about our quest,” Roman said but Patton saw it for what it was: I want to tell them.

“How about over pizza?” Patton suggested, tugging Roman towards the door. He opened it and stepped into the hallway and continued leading the way downstairs. Not once did he let go of Roman’s hand. When they reached the first floor, Logan and Virgil looked up from their spots on the couch and armchair, respectively. Their gazes immediately zeroed in on the clasped hands.

“Good evening,” Logan greeted them.

“‘Sup, heroes.” Virgil gave them his signature two finger salute.

“We’ll tell you all about it!” Patton enthused, “but first, pizza!”

He dragged Roman into the kitchen, where they took two frozen pizzas out of the freezer, and put them into the oven. While waiting for them to bake, Patton perched onto the counter and pulled Roman into his arms again. He clung to him there, Roman’s hands holding onto Patton’s hips, while Patton peppered kisses across his forehead and nose and cheeks. Between each smooch, he muttered “I” and “Love” and “You”.

There was really no way Roman could stop from crying in the face of such bold affection.

Soon enough, they were in the living room, with pizza set up on the coffee table. Moana played quietly on the TV in the background, while Patton ranted and raved about the unicorn he’d gotten to ride, and the decorated village they visited, and the excitement of the residents.

When it grew quiet and it was clear just how badly Logan and Virgil wanted to ask of Roman’s wellbeing was when he began. “I owe you all an apology,” he started, and had to shush Patton immediately when he began to oppose. “I should’ve had better faith in you. I assumed that you… had grown tired of my exaggerated affections and that you’d rather I not indulge in them as often.”

“What?” Virgil asked, incredulous. “We thought you’d gotten sick of us!”

Patton was sniffling, making grabby hands at Roman. They were sat next to each other on the couch but during dinner, all they’d had was their legs pressed against each other. Roman’s heart clenched at the sound and the gesture and part of him, the part that still couldn’t believe this, couldn’t believe that they did love him, that scolded needy clingy annoying, struggled to accept Patton’s wordless request.

The part that craved, that wanted, that deserved, damn it, won out.

He curved an arm around Patton’s back and scooped him into his lap. Patton squealed happily, throwing his arms around Roman’s neck, and snuggling into his torso. Logan coughed behind his hand and Virgil smirked.

“What are you two waiting for?” Patton demanded, shooting them with impatient glares.

Virgil didn’t hesitate, moving from his spot on the floor to Roman’s left side. He pulled Patton’s legs over top his own and rested his head on Roman’s shoulder. Virgil had a tendency to be colder than the others but it was a welcome chill against Roman’s side; it helped to keep him from growing too warm, what with his and Patton’s own elevated body heat.

Logan joined them on Roman’s right where he took Roman’s free hand, the one that wasn’t curled around Patton, and held it tightly in his own. “Is this satisfactory?” He asked. Steady and down to earth and consistent, he helped to keep Roman grounded in the whirlwind of his overwhelming love and appreciation.

“It’s perfect.”

[arc852]

Different Perspectives

Summary: When a borrower!Roman gets stuck with a human!Logan, it's clear from their different perspectives that they both still have a lot to learn. Also later on featuring a borrower!Virgil and human!Patton, who have their own perspectives to bring to the table.

Warnings: Being trapped, feelings of helplessness, panic attack and death mention

|| Next Chapter (AO3 Link)

Roman struggled against the sticky tape, trying to get out of his shoes in order to jump back to safety. Unfortunately, he ended up tripping and fell forward on the sticky tape with no way to stop it. He just barely managed to keep his face from sticking to the floor. He tried moving his arms up, but they wouldn’t budge. He was stuck.

Panic blossomed in Roman and he felt his breath get quicker, more erratic. He was stuck, this was it. Virgil was in a room way across the complex, so getting him to help was out. He was going to die here. If not by lack of food and water then by-

The floor rumbled beneath him and Roman’s breath hitched. The human was coming.

“Yes, I’m checking it now Patton.” Logan rolled his eyes. Logan had discovered much of his food had been going missing. When regular mouse traps failed him, Logan decided to put down glue traps to stop the rodent thief. However, his always empathetic friend Patton was worried about a mouse getting stuck in the trap for days, and insisted Logan go often to check if any creature was there and to let it be free.

Logan was fed up with these constant reminders to check the trap. If the other traps had failed, this one was likely to fail as well. He seemed to be dealing with no ordinary mouse. However, as he reached the kitchen and spotted the trap just behind the lower cupboards, he noticed a wriggling figure.

“...Oh.” Logan leaned closer and confirmed that this was indeed no ordinary mouse. In fact, if he wasn’t a man of science, Logan would dare to say it was a tiny man caught in his glue trap. But that had to be impossible!

Impossible or not, there was indeed a little person staring fearfully up at him as it was stuck lying on its stomach in the glue.

Roman’s struggles picked up once the human came into view. No, this couldn’t happen! He wasn’t going down without a fight.

But of course, none of his limbs budged. Roman’s worst fear was about to be realized. He was helpless and at the complete mercy of a human.

This wasn’t going to end well for him.

“I’ve got to go Patton.” Logan said, quickly hanging up the phone. This certainly changed things. He had expected a mouse, not a person. Well of course he expected a mouse because people aren’t supposed to be a few inches tall-

No, he couldn’t focus on that. What was important now was saving the poor trapped guy. Logan quickly googled “sticky rat trap” and after finding nothing useful, added “unstick the mouse” for good measure. He read through the wiki-how article once before getting up and gathering the necessary materials.

Logan put on gloves, as instructed. He bent down and looked at the tiny man again. Honestly, every time he looked down the situation seemed even more baffling. “Sorry about this.” Logan gave as a warning, before picking up the trap.

Roman didn’t, couldn’t, speak as he felt the surface he was on being lifted. It filled his stomach with butterflies and nauseous. Though the nausea was more from thinking about the situation he was in then the actual movement.

Not having any other option, Roman stayed still and hoped that despite what happened, it would at least be quick.

Logan set the glue trap with the person into a tupperware container four inches deep. Just as the Wiki-how said, Logan covered the man with a towel and ever so gently placed his gloved hand on his back to keep him still while he worked.

“It’s alright, don’t panic.” Logan instructed in what he hoped was a calming voice. The instructions didn’t say talking to the ‘mouse’ would help it stay less stressed, but Logan figured with this scenario it was only polite.

Logan glanced back at his phone for more instructions, pulling the vegetable oil out of a top cupboard. He carefully began to pour some into the container, rubbing it in with the cloth where the creature was attached to the glue.

Roman stiffened as he felt a weight drop onto his back, in the back of his mind registered that it was gentle, but he was not focused on that right now. He was more focused on the fact that there was a human touching him.

What was even happening? What was the human up to? Roman found it hard to listen to the human’s words when taking in his current situation.

Logan continued the process for a few minutes, feeling incredibly odd about the whole thing. This was certainly not how he expected to spend his evening. But, as the five minutes came to a close, he could feel the glue releasing its strong grip on the little guy. Logan let out a sigh of relief. He would have felt awful if the tiny strange creature thing had died due to his trap.

...Especially before he could learn all about said creature.

Logan carefully tugged on the small body, attempting to pry it up and out of the glue.

Roman suddenly felt the weight that had been on top of him shift after several long minutes. They curled around the rest of his body and Roman shivered. It felt weird, even if the human’s hand was covered by a glove. And then, the grip around him tightened and pulled up.

Whatever the human had done to the trap might have helped a little, Roman doesn’t truly know, but all he does know is that it didn’t help enough because he was currently feeling so much pain. The sticky glue pulled at his skin, but worse of all was his hair. A few strands had gotten stuck along with the rest of him and it being pulled was torture to the borrower.

“Ahh! Stop!”

Logan paused at the sound of the tiny’s voice. The fact that it could speak- and conveniently English, at that-  was almost more improbable than the little guy’s very existence.

He waited a few moments. “Sorry, it’s best to just get it over with.” Logan explained, before going at it again and separating the person from the glue as carefully as his comparatively large hands would allow.

Having no chance at fighting against the human’s choice, Roman braced himself as he was pulled up again. It hurt like hell, but he left the glue with all his hair and skin attached.

Now all he had to worry about was what the human would do with him now that he was free.

Logan lifted up the creature, giving it a quick look-over for injuries before setting it on the counter. “Alright.” Logan gave a satisfied nod, pleased the procedure had gone well. He disposed of the trap and excess oil in the trash, setting his gloves inside one of the cabinets.

He folded his arms on the edge of the counter, leaning closer to examine the man.

Roman backed away a few steps as the human’s face came closer. He gulped nervously and subtly looked around for any chances of escape. Unfortunately, his entrance into the wall was quite a bit away and if he were to make a run for it, it would be child’s play for the human to stop him.

Roman might have been free of the glue, but he was still trapped.

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[pearls-of-patton-moved]

Adronitis

Takes place in the Fata Organa AU.

Words: 1131

Pairing: Platonic analogical

The first tickle of his throat hits in the morning, and Logan worries for a moment before getting lost in his first class of the day. By lunchtime, he seems to be coughing a bit more than usual, but he’s already focused on a new research project he wants to start, and decides to skip lunch in favor of the library. It comes as a shocking realization to Logan, later that evening, when he glances up from the book he’s reading, to realize that he’s horribly cold and his head is pounding. Shocked at this sudden onset of illness, Logan quickly packs his things up and leaves the library, but by the time he’s reached the dorm, he barely has the energy left to set a water bottle on his nightstand and huddle under the covers. He curls up, but sleep proves difficult to come by, and every time he manages to drift off, he inevitably wakes himself up with yet another coughing fit.

By the time Logan wakes, the next morning, Virgil appears to have come and gone, and with a start, he reaches for his phone to check the time. The glaringly bright screen echoes 11:30 back at him, and Logan struggles to get up, having already missed one of his classes, and determined not to miss the rest. He feels sore and moves sluggishly around the dorm room gathering his things, but just before he can leave, the door bursts open as Virgil returns.

“What are you doing?” Virgil demands, glaring at Logan with a surprising ferocity.

“I overslept. A better question is why didn’t you wake me?” Logan growls back, irritated and still ridiculously tired.

“Overslept?” Virgil barks back. “You kept both of us up half the night with your coughing fits, and you’re worried about oversleeping?!” Logan tries to formulate a response, but Virgil is already stepping forward, crowding into his personal space and herding him back towards his bed.

“Get back in bed, idiot. Hell, you didn’t even eat the breakfast I left you, before trying to book it out of here!” Virgil steps to the side, as soon as Logan sits back down, and picks a tray up from it’s resting place on his nightstand.

“What-” Logan tries to ask, but Virgil is already interrupting him.

“You need to eat something. And drink the tea, too.”Virgil offers him the tray as soon as he’s settled, and Logan examines its contents. Fruit, oatmeal, and a cup containing the tea Virgil had mentioned.

“I can’t just skip my classes, Virgil, I might miss something important,” Logan argued, though he still picked up the spoon.

“Seeing as I already spoke to your teachers about it; yes, you definitely can. You haven’t missed a single day of class yet, and in case you haven’t noticed, you’re sick.” Virgil responded evenly. “The sooner you take the time to get better, the sooner you’ll be able to go back to class.” Silence descends on the two of them for a moment, as Logan eats, and Virgil rummages around in his backpack.

“You spoke to my teachers?” Logan quietly asks a minute later.”Why?”

“I mean, you’re sick.” Virgil looks back at him warily. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“Ignore me? You’ve never displayed an interest in interacting before. I just find it -odd- that you would choose to take an interest in me now when I’m ill.”

“I guess I’m just used to taking care of sick people. I’ve got to go to class.” With that, Virgil leaves Logan alone in their room once more. Carefully, he settles in to finish eating his breakfast, though it’s much closer to lunchtime now, Logan supposes.

The next day is Friday, and if anything, Logan feels even worse, so he stays in bed once again, annoyed with his body but unable to argue in the face of Virgil’s confident assumption of control. It reminds him of being back home, with Aunt Lacey fussing over him the moment he catches a cold. He tries to read his textbooks, to study and at least pretend to be productive, but his eyes can barely stay open, let alone focus, and mostly he ends up just sitting in bed, staring at the wall in front of him, waiting for time to pass. Virgil finds him like that, when he returns from his classes, staring straight ahead with unfocused eyes.

“Jeez, you look like you’ve been given a prison sentence. I’m surprised you’re not studying, actually.” Logan started to shake his head in response but aborted the motion immediately as it set his head spinning.

“I attempted it. My eyes seem to be having trouble maintaining focus on the words.”

“Oh, well you could watch some Netflix or something? It’s honestly creepy, you just staring at the wall like that.” Virgil placed a tray with more food beside Logan, before shrugging of his backpack.

“I do not have Netflix. It seemed an inadvisable expenditure when I should be spending my time studying.” Logan frowned, focusing on the food Virgil had brought him.

“Okay, that’s just sad. Where’s your laptop?” Logan pointed at his backpack, where it lay beside his bed, wondering what Virgil wanted with it.

“Ugh. password?” Virgil asked once the machine had successfully booted up.

“Mmm,” Logan mumbled. “Tomato.”

“That didn’t work, Logan. Are delirious too?”

“Not-” Logan frowned. “Not literally tomato. The scientific name. Solanum Lycopersicum.”

“Sola- what?”

“Solanum Lycopersicum. It’s the scientific name for the tomato. Just google it.” This time, Virgil had brought Logan some kind of soup, so he sniffed at it. It smelled like chicken broth.

“Right. Of course, that’s your password.” Virgil pulled out his phone and started typing.

“What are you doing anyway?’ Logan blew into the soup, watching Virgil out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m logging you into my Netflix account. You need something to do, and it has plenty of documentaries. I’m sure one of them will interest you.” Virgil typed into the computer for a moment more. “There, your own profile and everything. Enjoy. I’m going for a run.” And once again Virgil was out the door, leaving Logan adrift in Virgil’s complete shift in personality over the past two days.

Logan’s feeling marginally better the next day, and by Sunday afternoon, he’s feeling well enough to leave their room for his meals. Logan worries temporarily that Virgil’s been infected with whatever caught hold of him, but that fear proves unfounded, and Virgil remains as healthy as ever. With Logan’s returned health, Virgil’s attitude returns mostly to normal, but Logan finds his curiosity about his aloof roommate has only been heightened after this most recent incident. He only wishes he had an idea of how to properly thank Virgil for his help.

tags taken from the fanders taglist

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[wingheadshellhead]

Hi, I love your blog! So I've been reading a lot of 616 stevetony lately, and I've noticed that in both canon and in a lot of fiction, Steve seems to really dislike Extremis (even before superior iron man). Why do you think that is? Even without looking at this with shipper goggles (which I always am), I think it's really strange that Steve has so much disdain for something that essentially saved one of his best friend's lives.

(THIS HAS TAKEN ME 5 BILLION YEARS BUT HERE IT IS FINALLY)

i used to be in the same boat and automatically assumed steve’s dislike of extremis was one of those fandom headcanon things that was so commonly accepted it’d basically become fact, but it’s really, actually, all 100% canon. but the comics that deal with it happen right before civil war so i think many ppl have simply forgotten or skipped over that part of tony’s timeline.

execute program is the 6-issue arc that comes right after extremis and it’s the main thing i tell everyone they have to read if they’re putting themselves thru the ringer that is 616′s civil war. it is so so important to understanding tony’s headspace and where he’s at before the events of civil war occur. 

READ EXECUTE PROGRAM. a) bc it’s absolutely crucial to tony’s side of civil war, b) the follow-through from the extremis arc is just… amazing, virtuosic. i really genuinely think it is a fascinating, excellently-written arc, c) when it gets gay it gets very gay. truST ME you do not need your shipper goggles for this at all bc guess which of the following things are canon: the sound of steve saying his voice being the only thing that snaps tony out of (likely a dissociative episode) trying to murder a villain that nearly kills peter, dyeing his hair blond when he’s going on the run, tony stopping his heart to save steve’s life. all of them !!! all canon !!!!!! 

extremis is, basically, terrifying. to the average human being, hell even the average superhuman. it’s p much unfathomable the sheer level/magnitude/scope of extremis. extremis allows tony to access and control any piece of technology on earth and even in earth’s atmosphere, he can hear satellites. it’s like having the singularity as a superpower. 

so part 1, iron man vol. 4 #7 (2006), opening issue and we have tony stopping a villain with lethal force, all while counting down the milliseconds and bidding on priceless artefacts.

now, avengers don’t kill. and tony doesn’t, he stops the man’s heart, then restarts it, basically performing defibrillation. 

and then we get this conversation: 

and after tony jets off leaving the new avengers to sort out the aftermath, we get this disturbing reminder:

a proper reread might prove me wrong but i don’t think the writers ever clarify whether this transformation in tony’s personality is due to extremis or outside manipulation (which is the culmination of execute program’s arc as i’ll go into in a bit). but when your brain is literally a machine and you Have Become more machine than human, this is the natural progression of tony’s humanity – the aspects of compassion, empathy, etc. – fading into the background to accomodate for extremis. 

extremis brings out everything about tony that steve (and possibly the world) fears most. it makes him cold and calculating, and with a brain like tony stark’s elevated by the superhuman capacity to think and react at the speed of a machine, he’s unstopppable.

part 2, iron man vol. 4 #8, we have tony nearly straight up burning a man alive for almost killing peter and laughing about it. 

he’s so deep in Destroy Mode that he doesn’t even register steve’s warning, and here i think he acts entirely out of instinct –– like extremis is thinking for him rather than his brain prompting him to do this. 

extremis is also the cause of tension between tony and the newly-formed new avengers (one of my favorite line-ups!!), he almost gets into a fight with logan and jessica has to break them up. it turns out tony is missing time in his memory, which is extremely worrying for someone w/ his level of power…

what’s so fascinating about extremis, and why we have so much to thank warren ellis for (the writer of the extremis arc), is that it is the perfect and the most logical climax of the modern iron man story. tony’s worst villain, as we’ve known since the very beginning really, has never been anyone else but himself. and in the case of extremis, it’s a highly technologically advanced version of himself that can do and be everything he’s ever dreamed of being able to achieve vs. him. 

the question extremis asks is at what cost? at what cost does technological advancement, bleeding-edge breakthroughs, and the spirit of human innovation come at? how far would tony go to become the Ideal version of himself that he sees as superior in every way? what would he sacrifice for that?

extremis represents basically the pinnacle of sci-fi tech in iron man comics, it’s why even god awful superior iron man used a 3.0 version of it as the foundation for tony’s sins. it’s the farthest point he’s ever reached, and it’s also the lowest in terms of the damage and fallout that comes from it. because ofc, tony stark can’t have nice things like this, but also bc the hubris + nature of extremis allowing its host to play god can’t exist without there being negative consequences. really b ad consequences. 

huge respect to danial & charles knauf, the authors of execute program, too, because they find a way to perfectly bring the arc full circle as ellis did with his extremis. the central villain plot revolves around ho yinsen’s son. the kid hacks extremis and uses it to control tony, sending him to subconsciously assassinate a bunch of people on his kill list, i.e. a list of all the men involved in yinsen’s death. i mean like, HOLY SHIT, an iron man plot where a literal ghost from tony’s past – a direct victim of events tony was involved in, the son of the man that sacrificed his life so iron man could be born and so tony stark could live – shows up, weaponises tony’s own body + technology and uses him to murder people who are scheduled to participate in a peace summit despite the blood on their hands and the human cost of their involvement in the weapons industry.

DRAWING PARALLELS BETWEEN YINSEN’S LIFE’S WORK AND TONY’S LIKE DEATH AND DYING WOULD BE KINDER. again bc of my memory or even regardless due to constant retcons + reruns of the iron man origin story, i don’t know if it’s ever been explicitly stated before that yinsen also got into the weapons industry in order to get the funding necessary to support his other revolutionary work. but his son literally conflates yinsen with tony here, blending them into one + the same with that final panel and it becomes very obvious that at least a small part of him blames father for entering into weapons design. if he hadn’t, he might never have been captured by the the terrorist group that wanted him and tony to build them missiles. 

also, yinsen + villains involving yinsen are a recurring theme in iron man history but can we talk abt the fact that tony has never ever let himself forget the man bc jesus christ

yinsen’s kid is killed by a SHIELD sniper, activating the dead man’s switch and unleashing all the peackeeping units tony built that are now compromised. now, tony’s no jean grey or wanda maximoff but if this arc shows anything it’s not to underestimate him bc intentional or not (lmao) if he put his mind to it there’s literally no limit to the damage he could do. 

we see various heroes fighting off the peacekeeping units, and the new avengers are at the peace summit fighting a hulkbuster. 

and here it is people !!! the 23989485th time tony kills himself so steve can live. 

JUST. THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. AND THEN THIS ABSOLUTE LACK OF HESITATION:

so, yes. extremis was traumatising for pretty much every single person involved. steve has extremely good reasons for HATING extremis, even in the early stages or even if a fic is taking place before the events of execute program.

if you read the full arc, you’ll see tony running himself into the ground with his new abilities (world’s greatest multitasker can now multitask 192483958 things at once? ofc he’s going to use and abuse and exploit that), you see him spiralling and losing his grip on reality (mainly because he’s actually having dissociative episodes and losing time due to being remotely controlled to assassinate ppl but also bc of the Effect extremis is having on him). i brought up wanda and jean earlier as a casual reference but like, to put it in that kind of perspective, people just weren’t made to have this much power.

on a smaller scale, apart from eating up all of tony’s time and attention and mental health in a really bad way, it just Distances him from everyone. especially from the team. it’s Isolating, having this much going on in his brain and no one else in the world to fully understand it. 

and on steve’s side, you also have the fact that tony’s genius is both one of the things he loves and lowkey resents most about him. he has this deep-set anxiety about tony with all his brilliance and intelligence leaving him behind in the dust, or worse, laughing at him and how outdated and dim-witted he is in comparison. this is steve’s version of tony’s “i’m never going to be good enough for him”, a sentiment summed up in a quote from him as early as tales of suspense vol. 2 (1995): “yes, tony stark, a man of today and tomorrow is the man i’ll never be.” he’s so afraid of being abandoned + alienated by tony’s mind and the future that tony’s worked so tirelessly to build that might render him irrelevant. he’s scared of a future where he has no purpose, but more or just as importantly, he’s scared of becoming obsolete in tony’s life, of not being needed by tony anymore. one of the things that endeared him so much to tony, and which laid the foundations of their lifelong friendship, was the fact that from Day One (1), tony made him feel At Home. he never let him feel ashamed or isolated as The Man Out Of Time, he actively worked to make steve feel comfortable and to give him the things he needed to acclimatise and to fit himself into this brave new world. 

extremis undoes all of that. it propels tony so far and so fast into the future that it makes tony untouchable to steve. all of the ‘i can hear satellites’ stuff renders steve helpless and even more out of his depth than usual. it presses all of steve’s secret buttons and then some.

to sum this all up, and to finish my extra rambling abt tony bc u asked me about extremis and i couldn’t not finish with this:

here we have, ladies and gentlemen, everything u need to understand abt tony going into civil war. and it’s not on any of the official civil war fucking reading lists which really pisses me off because whether or not they did it on purpose the knaufs basically wrote all of execute program as the perfect precursor and characterisation groundwork for an antebellum tony stark. 

a tony stark who was just very recently manipulated against his will into assassinating people and causing a world-threatening incident that could have resulted in the deaths of thousands, including his own friends and teammates (and the love of his life), is a very different tony stark to the one ppl see in civil war #1.

what happens in stamford was an accident, too. no one meant for that to happen. tony knows first fucking hand what that means and what it feels like to carry that responsibility and guilt. his position in civil war supporting the SHRA is not only to protect the potential lives that could be lost in another stamford incident but also to protect superhumans and superheroes from ever being exploited against their will by villains to kill and hurt and destroy. 

superheroes are inherently susceptible to being used, it’s just part of the narrative convention –– a superhero is brainwashed or mind controlled or otherwise forced against their will to do something awful. and even if it’s not their fault there needs to be  accountability  for the victims. both the victims that suffer directly because of superhuman incidents but also the superheroes that become victims of ppl who abuse their powers. it’s abt protecting superheroes not just from civilians but from themselves. and if u’ve read a single comic u kno that this kinda shit happens way too often and way too easily.

sO YE S T hIS iS W HY. AND IT Ex PL AINS SO MUC H AND i j UST WISH P PL WOULD GODDAMN REA D THIS. LIKE EVERYONE WHO EVER WANTS TO SAY ANOTHER A GODDAMN THING ABOUT TONY STARK IN CIVIL WAR NEEDS TO FIRST READ EXECUTE PROGRAM FIRST OR PAY ME $10

anyway…………… one last time, i’m so so so sorry this took forever to get to. hope the wait was worth it!

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 15 - "I REFUSE to be Wentworth'd" - Ali

JD

This puzzle really sucks and i like puzzles. It's going to be hard to fight with, might only get o e but i think i would have rather done the stairway to hell again, deep sigh. Never give up! Never surrender!! 

OWEN

Well that sucks lol. I'm a little peeved bc I don't really understand why idols could only be used until six if these things can still be used at five? I don't see the point unless it was just to make us think other stuff couldn't be used? Idk! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im not the host so I guess I don't have to understand! This definitely makes things more difficult because I anticipate JD is going to beat me in immunity. I was playing just to finish it for personal reasons not necessarily to win immunity and now wow! So if JD wins then I guess Ill vote for Lydia and I need to tell JD that im doing that too to at least force a tie or something. And then next round would tie as well. Great!!!!!! I guess we will see what happens but lmao idk! Fun

ALI

Welp. That F6 vote? Did NOT go to plan. Gosh darn Owen! Why do you not want to follow my agenda? Why wont you just do things that'll benefit me and screw you over! :) It was the right move for him though, I should've handled that idol play much better. I could've saved Logan grr. I am SO pleased that they beat their survivor record, but I'm disappointed, as I feel like he was caught in the crossfire of people targetting me. Now, its time to fight. I've just gotta think 'Never Give In, Never Give Up, Never Surrender'. I will FIGHT for my place at the F3.

-

Developments. I am now in the Final Four! Whewwwwww! :) It was a bumpy ride though, weh. Like last night, I played the ring. Me and JD has discussed it somewhat beforehand, but I couldn't get ahold of her and had to go with my gut and play it. I just had to think W.W.J.D. (What would Jay-sus do). Now that Owen has won immunity, I feel like my dream F3 has been dismantled :/ Like Logan is gone, which I'm so sad about and I'm so afraid JD will go next. She has been my number 1 since day 1 and I would hate for her to go :/ I have two plans now. 1) If JD goes, I have to aim to go F3 with Trydia. I don't think Lydia gets many votes, as those who'd vote her, would vote for Trevor and I could present myself as the opposite to Trevor, as a strong social threat (Trevor has burnt some bridges) 2) If JD stays, I aim for a JD + Lydia F3. If I can pull that off, that'd be amazing whew. But, I've made F4 which is truly truly phenomenal! :)

OWEN

I CSNT remember when I last made a confessional but I'm yay I did the puzzle!!! It was worth it to stay up all night and do it bc if JD had gotten immunity with ali's stupid final five power or whatever that would have been not good!!!!! Wow. Anyways I want to vote out JD and then hopefully I can win the next immunity too and send out Ali. A final three of me Lydia and Trevor would be good idk we will see! I lowkey think I have a pretty good case to beat Ali so Idk if something weird happens I guess I could vote for Lydia with Ali and Trevor and Lydia would vote for me and I'd do a tiebreaker against Lydia. But hopefully I can just beat him at immunity anyways. Also for some reason apparently Ali told Lydia that JD has an idol?? I don't think it's true but idk. Legit if JD has some idol that can be use this round when all of the others could only be used last round I'm not doin it anymore like I'd walk in a heartbeat if that happened bc it makes literal zero sense. The hosts aren't bad and it would literally be awful and pointless and djdjdj Idk! Idk. That's why I don't think it's true. Y'all know better than that and Ali is just reaching. Like if literally everything in the game had to be used by f6 besides a ring that jd-Ali had and an idol they had I would probably die that is the most riggt thing I can imagine. So I'm not really afraid of this "idol" but nice try Ali I guess

ALI

Well, I made F4 WHEWWWWWW! Its hugely dampened by JD going however. I need to do this for her now. My allies have fallen, but I'm still fighting! Its been such a bumpy ride, my dream F3 has disintegrated, everyone wants be gone, the other three in the F3 are a final three, but I'm still fighting! 

-

Yikes. The issue with me saying 'Owen more like no win' is that Owen literally wins at F3? I think Trydia are so decided on getting me out, that I might need to win immunity and force their hand. I think I may've made some headway with Lydia, but that might be her pretending that. The issue is, to persuade them, I have to degrade my own game and thus, I need to prepare my counter-arguments, in case I'm blessed with a place at F3. I may've given the ammo to load their guns, but I have cannons aimed right at them too! For a F3, right now, I'd vote Owen over Trevor and then Trevor over Lydia. But, I have different arguments for each of them. In my opinion, the best option for each of them (the vote I can most likely persuade them on), is that Lydia should vote off Trevor, but I'll try and convince Owen as plan B, and Trowen should vote one another (dunno how likely that'll be! :)). I dunno, I'll try and find a way! :)

OWEN

I feel pretty good about this challenge. Mostly all I have for right now is work tomorrow and like an escape room thing for my friend but if I can get a super good lead tonight then I shouldn't have to worry too much about tomorrow. I really feel like I probably need to win it though. It's easy for Lydia to decide I'm a bigger threat than Ali and clock me. Plus, if Ali wins then idk what I'll do! This challenge doesn't seem like Lydia or Trevor's forte so hopefully I can pull it off. It's do or die time. And I'll worry about finals once I'm there, but for now I need to focus on this!

ALI

I REFUSE to be Wentworth'd. I need to win this challenge, so I need to beat Owen (the main threat). I am determined to dance, write a story, pose in a toga. ANYTHING I need to do to make it :)

-

I'm making some progress. I'm pitching a Trydia + Moi F3 to Trevor. I think that's his best shot. If I win the immunity, I'd probably get rid of Trevor, but if I don't have that luxury, I'll take any seat I can get! :)

OWEN

High key pissed I rushed home from work and paid for an uber and everything and then I like djdjdjdj only one task was posted the entire two hours I was actually there?? Sooo I CSNT do anymore I'm done for. Ali is gonna win. :\ sucks 

ALI

I AM DEAD. I... ACTUALLY WON. THIS CAN'T BE REAL. I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. Also, people that have been being super vague when it comes to the vote are FINALLY talking to me lmao! :) I wrote a short story about cockroaches for the challenge and it seems like we have three of them mwahahahaha :) I DON'T MEAN THAT REALLY. I love them three. Its been a bumpy ride, but I love all three of them! :) I AM IN THE FINAL THREE THOUGH. THIS IS INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE. (insane in the brain)

OWEN

So last night I tried to get both Trevor and Ali to vote for Lydia instead of me but after sleeping on it I'm content with my position in the game. I told Ali to just vote me out. I know it's kind of seen as giving up, but the only other option I have is tying with Trevor and doing a tiebreaker and I'm pretty sure I would beat him at it... I am an extremely competitive person. I don't give up. I fight until I win or I lose. But I think the journey I've had in this game is testament enough to the type of player I am. From the very first vote I've been in a position of control. I decided to vote Linus out. I decided to turn on Jay. The Matt vote was supposed to be someone else until I talked to the right people. I completely turned the target from Duncan to Sam at final nine, and at both final seven and six I was a deciding vote to go against Ryan and then Logan. I've made plenty of moves and navigated myself out of situations where my back was against the wall and I don't think anybody else in this game was able to do that. And I think if I tied with Trevor and beat him and went to the end with Ali and Lydia, I could win. It's right there for me. But it comes at the expense of someone else who I truly love and care about, and I can't do that. Coming into this game with Trevor I expected that it would turn into us against them and that one of us would be a causality along the way. Instead it's turned into a kind of personal struggle I think, whether it's me versus Trevor or me versus myself in a way. Trevor has played really well (maybe not as good as me hahahahaha @trevor :~) ) and it's tough because I am proud of him just like I'm proud of me. He always tries hard and he seems to come up short a lot of the time and it doesn't really thrill me to think that I could crush his chances when I know it means just as much to him as it means to me. We both want to win the game. But the difference is that I've been there before. I've won. And he hasn't. And so I've come to this conclusion that like.... I've won on my own terms before and I've had success and I've lost games because I was the biggest threat, but the one thing I haven't done is LOSE on my own terms as well, and I think this is a good way for me to give up something in order to benefit somebody that I care about who is equally deserving. This decision doesn't make me a bad player. It doesn't discredit the things I've PROVEN I could do. I manipulated most of the players here. I am proud of my game. Stepping down at the final four doesn't make me any worse of a player and it doesn't make this story of mine have a bad ending. If anything, it's a testament to the type of person I hope to be. I'm leaving 3-1 tonight and I want it to be that way because I am confident that this is how the story ends. And I've still got some manipulation left to do workin' that jury to vote for Trevor!!! :~) Thank you guys for a...UNIQUE experience. I had a lot of fun and it was refreshing to have some control in a game after the last couple I played went horribly out of my grasp. I love y'all!

ALI

Well, I would've wanted Trevor out tonight, but Lydia and Owen aren't gonna vote him grrr. I feel like if I pitch it right, I could (?) have a shot at this. My plan is to play up that I did well in all aspects. Competitions: Won the joint most, Trydia didn't win any Social: My social game is my strong suit, so I need to highlight that Strategic: Eddie/Ryan votes especially, generally involved in votes during middle to late merge. I'm so pumped to have made F3 though. Little old me, who'd have thunk it?

LYDIA

I was trying for like an hour Saturday night to convince Trevor to vote me out instead of Owen IF Ali won immunity.  I'm being forced to go to this ftc. I don't want too.  Here are the reasons why: 1) I'm so tired.  Half my inactivity is cause of my new job and ugh the idea of having to write like an opening, and read peoples shit and omg no thanks. 2) I'm scared of ftcs.  It's a deeply rooted fear, caused by getting my ass dragged over and over.   3) It'd be so much more interesting to see the three boys fight it out.  I'm not usually a menist, but I just feel like I'm emotionally checked out and am not gonna fight for it. 4) My resume is this game is a joke.  I mean I helped Trevor and Owen, and tried to get myself in a good spot to make moves, but kept getting fucked over. 5) I love to write a jury speech for all of these three boys cause I have very different but interesting relationships with them, and have lots of thoughts about their games that are never gonna be expressed.   Also I feel like it makes sense for Trevor to vote me out because it might split the Ali/Owen votes enough that maybe he could get majority.  I feel like this ftc won't even be a competition, which is cool I love Ali, but I also want a good ending so. Fuck it. 

ALI

I sorta wanna do a final wrap up of the jury, before the craziness of FTC, just based on my thoughts of playing with them. 1. Rob- I really regret not pushing for him to stay at his vote out. I think he's sweet and I hope we can stay in contact! :) 2. Isaac- Loved him. Wish we could've spoken more 3. Matt- Yikes! Really liked working with him, voting him out was purely a game move. Hope we can stay friends 4. David- Didn't especially talk to him, someone stole my 'robbed' line from the Rob vote in their vote for him :) 5. Sam-  SO sad when he went. Maybe my lowest point game wise/ when I felt most out of the loop. Loved meeting him. 6. Duncan- In some mid-merge confessionals, I said some things about him 'lacking socially'/ being patronizing or something. In reality, that was just my pride, being annoyed that he'd given me (correct) advice, on things I was doing wrong. In reality, he was being helpful, and I was just too proud to accept useful advice. I retract all that I said about him needing to improve socially! :) Really liked him too, hope we can stay in contact, when the pressures of the game are over. 7. Ryan - Tea Time with Ryan was, in hindsight, iconic. Loved forming a relationship with him, after he dragged the whole tribe. Can see the experience he has as a veteran player, and why he is so scary! 8. Logan- UGH. WHY DID HE HAVE TO GOOOOOO. I loved talking to him, after our rocky swap start, to the merge. So happy to see him beat his survivor record and he is in my top 3 favourites from this game! :) 9. JD- RIP. THOSE TWO VOTES WERE ROUGH. My dream F3 being shattered and my two favourites going home back to back was... no good. Really loved meeting her, wanna 10000000% stay in contact. I think, at one point, I said something too, about her not thinking strategy moves through. I take that back too, as it was me being reluctant to leave Trydia behind, and she was more ready than me (she was right) 10. Owen. Owen, who deserved to O-win. I still don't fully get why he wouldn't vote Trevor, when Trevor was voting him, but anywho. Loved talking to him too, and it was a shame he became such a threat woomph. Being in a F4 with a couple and a trio of best friends meant the F4 vote was kinda tricky!

LOGAN

I'm popping in for a cameo to say I love Jay