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hoping my 2022 is gay (happy) and also gay (women)

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a concept: a collage of all my crying selfies from 2021 entitled “my year in tears”

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#girls

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pretty

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Halloween remus!!! I like halloween remus.

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whathca doin’ there, friendo? 

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history repeats itself.

here are your hands. here are your two lives. here are your dogs. (you’ve tried your best and you’ve tried your worst, and neither of them matter anymore.) here is your house, with walls tall and strong. here is your hill, lovely and oh-so-strategic. here is your roof, resistant and flammable.

here is a picture of your wife. it is in your hands, and you burn with it; just like your life, it fades away into the air. it is ashes and it is dust, and the smell of burnt fleshpaperskinfear is stuck in the air. here is a picture of your wife, and here is the absence of it. here is the space where she used to be, and here is the space where you used to be.

when you respawn, your hands are shaking.

history repeats itself.

here are your hands, and here is a life. protect it, my darling. it’s the only one you’re going to get. others get to gain lives and circles of trust, but not you. here is your dog, although you don’t pay attention to her that much. here is your house, beautiful despite it all. here is your bridge, which divides more than it connects.

here are your hands, and here is your redstone. what are you going to do with it? don’t answer, i already know. make your traps and hope for death, hope for a friend rather than the absence of one. your wife is here but she doesn’t recognise you anymore. you set your traps and pull your whole heart into them, shaking in anticipation.

here is the portal. it’s not yours, but you want to use it to make more. more what? well, it’s obvious: you want more deathfriendslivesloverstrust. you wish people trusted you. here’s a choice, a chance, a pack of cards, and all you have are red 1s. what are you going to do now?

your hands are shaking.

you take the shot.

(here is the space where grian used to be, and here is the space where cleo used to be. here is your cave at the bottom of the cliff. is it home?)

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watching lizzie’s episode and there is something so DEEPLY, DEEPLY tragic about the scene after big b kills cleo where lizzie just. hunts across the map to find cleo. and then finds her again with ren and she describes herself as being excited to find her again? and then just. breaking when she hears him say that she can’t trust them. like. lizzie is so genuinely upset she was so genuinely worried for cleo. and then she like. she and ren are trying to justify to themselves that they didn’t trust cleo anyway? but they’re both clearly just. DEEPLY upset about everything that happened today.

cleo firing on lizzie while shouting “traitor”. god. THE FAIRY FORT. WEH

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thats the strongest parallels we've had so far, right?

two boogeymen from the same allience

one who told his allies about his curse, swore to never hurt them, and gained their trust as well as help in his mission. who got cured, paid reparations to his victim and ended on good terms with everybody

and one who stayed quiet, growing more desperate as time ran out, who did not see any other solution than killing his closest ally, being ridden with guilt and leading to consequences more dire than he could ever imagine

two boogeymen who left behind two women

one who died heartbroken, mad, knowing there was noone left to trust, leaving her home and plotting revenge, or maybe that revenge fell into her lap when she became red

and one who chose to forgive and trust again, sympathising with the men as she too stood in their place not long ago at all, having felt the same corruption and fear taking over her, who invited them into her their home and took them under her green wings

you couldnt script this shit if you tried

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There are many different kinds of loneliness. Twelve, as observed on a small server known as “Last Life”, are catalogued here:

1. Scar on top of a mountain has seven lives. If it were possible to “win” before everyone else was dead, he’d be winning. He lost his gold nugget of friendship. Murderers live below him. He has more lives than anyone else on the server. Grian didn’t take his deal. He is the only one on his mountain. He is winning.

2. Joel and Grian exchange a glance with each other and with a wizard’s hat on top of the mountain. They both know what it means to be lonely. They’re right next to each other. Cleo and Bdubs chat in the distance. They look away again.

3. The word “traitor” has many meanings. Lizzie thinks she knows all of them now. She doesn’t know which ones apply to her, but Cleo’s arrow almost killed her. The fort feels lifeless. At least she still has Ren.

4. The word “traitor” has many meanings. Cleo thinks she knows all of them now. She doesn’t know which ones were used against her, other than that her partner murdered her. She feels lifeless. At least she’s with Bdubs again.

5. The nether roof is one of the loneliest places Mumbo knows of. Impulse couldn’t be here to help, so it’s just him, standing in blistering heat on an unnatural field of bedrock, killing ghasts, and ignoring the death message that’s burning a hole in his heart. He’s lonely because he’s physically alone, and not because losing anyone has drilled a hole in him. He doesn’t know who he’s fooling.

6. While Impulse sleeps, Jimmy and Martyn destroy Grian’s bed to make sure he can’t come back. Jimmy says something about his spyglass. Neither of them laugh.

7. The word “traitor” has many meanings. Big B doesn’t want to talk about it.

8. Etho stares out the edge of his castle. Team BEST had, in his opinion, always been a bit doomed. That being said, Bdubs had refused to kill him before. Maybe he’d do it again. Maybe it would still matter. Maybe their history would win over bloodshed. He feels fire and thinks it won’t.

9. Tango and Skizz patch themselves up. They’re shaken. It was definitely shaky, being threatened for a life. Kinda stupid, in hindsight, but man! Tango’s not having a good day of it! At least they can trust each other though, right? Tango isn’t playing the double-cross game this time around, and Skizz has always been, to put it like Ren said, a loyal blade. The two of them—they’ll stick together. Even if it’s just them. Even if they saw how fast it could shatter.

10. A dog, outside in the cold, taps his sword against the edge of the fence. It’s quiet tonight. Good. Ren will guard his Queen and not worry about anything else but loyalty. He doesn’t have the heart to worry about anything else this time around.

11. One more day that Scott and Pearl could look each other in the eye and not be the boogeyman. Scott tells Pearl: maybe they should feel bad Cleo took a trap meant for them. Pearl tells Scott: why would they? They agree on this much. They don’t particularly want to kill, but they do particularly want to survive.

12. Bdubs tells Cleo that he missed her, quietly, one last time. How terrible to be together again, though. How terrible.

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about to unleash my Last Life SMP stan side for a second and rb stuff about that so uh if you don’t wanna see that look away

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what the fuck do you mean the fwsa episode came out a year ago?????

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could not stop staring at the piece of dirt(?) on the camera lens in all the shots of regular thomas😭

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stunning

PROM, cause I never got to go lol.

Honestly this was not planned, I was just trying to practice anatomy, and I put all the dancing ones together then this happened.

-No reposting-Click for higher quality-

... Janus do be fancy tho..👀👀

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very cute

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this is so <3

Autumn Virgil Happy Autumn Everyone! Happy harvests and crunchy leaves.

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tumblr getting rid of the gc feature and literally no one noticing bc it was useless is v funny