#might be subject to change at some point im always messing with these

[mamadarama]

share ur enstars lgbt headcanons NOW!

OHHHH MAN OK so my identity hcs are super specific idk if ill be able to accurately explain them but ill try. i had no idea how to make this a short post

(btw here cis just means gender identity matches agab, has little to do with how they perceive their own gender or gender as a whole. theyre different shades of blue but theyre still all blue yknow)

eichi - transman, gay

wataru - queer (gender and sexuality)

(but i also like wataru and eichi as lesbians in the context of wataei and some other ships)

tori - genderfluid, pan; he doesnt care as long as hes cute

yuzuru - transmasc, unlabeled; demi maybe? he isnt interested in anyone unless he is

subaru - cis, aro bi (male lean); intends to stay single

hokuto - cis, gay; could also see him as transmasc

makoto - cis, bi; could also see him as transmasc

mao - cis, pan

rei - transmasc bigender, pan

kaoru - cis, bi; could also see him as transmasc

koga - (intersex) transmasc agender, pan; or lesbian

adonis - cis, unlabeled; his gender/sexuality isnt as important to his identity as his interests and values are; edit: i also like him as a transmasc lesbian actually

keito - transmasc, lesbian

kuro - transmasc, lesbian

souma - definitely a boy but questioning the specifics, gay

shu - binary transman, aroace

mika - transmasc, pan

chiaki - cis but hes weird abt it, bi; he says anything he does is manly because hes a man and hes doing it, even if what hes doing is typically seen as feminine

kanata - genderfluid, unlabeled

tetora - cis, bi; i like him as transmasc too tho

shinobu - transmasc agender, pan

midori - transfem? demigirlboy (hes still figuring it out), bi

leo - transmasc of some sort, pan

izumi - transmasc agender, demi

tsukasa - genderqueer, pan

ritsu - cis, gay

arashi - binary transfem, bi

natsume - transmasc, lesbian

tsumugi - transfem, lesbian

sora - hes sora

nazuna - transmasc genderfluid, lesbian

tomoya - cis, gay

hajime - nonbinary, pan

mitsuru - cis, pan ace

nagisa - (intersex) agender, demi

hiyori - cis queen, gay

jun - transmasc, bi (male lean)

ibara - transmasc, demi

hinata - bigender, pan

yuta - demiboy, gay

hiiro - cis, literally only attracted to aira and hasnt considered any other possibility

aira - transmasc, gay

mayoi - (intersex) agender, demi pan

tatsumi - cis but just barely, unlabeled he doesnt feel like any label fits quite right. his gender is a big cloud backlit by the sunset on a summer evening

rinne - cis but literally does not care, bi; least cis cis man youll ever meet, most bi bi man youll ever meet

niki - transmasc agender, bi

kohaku - transmasc, lesbian

himeru - genderfluid, gay

madara - (intersex) agender, lesbian; bi sometimes when i feel like it. he will tell you hes cis and leave you to assume what that means yourself.

anzu - cis, lesbian; shes not that feminine though

[hellobykittys]

𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 ✦ 𝐋𝐇⁴⁴

SUMMARY: Upon discovering you’re pregnant with your boyfriend’s child, you find yourself spiraling into a wave of insecurities, fearing his potential negative reaction and the impact it could have on your relationship. NOTES: English is not my first language, so there might be some writing mistakes. I apologize for that, and feel free to point out any improvements. PAIRING: Lewis Hamilton x Reader! Girlfriend. WARNING: Established relationship; mild angst; unplanned pregnancy. WC: 2.8k

MASTERLIST | THE (IM)PERFECT PLAN SERIE

It was the second time that day you found yourself leaning over the toilet, your stomach churning relentlessly. Breakfast and the light snack you’d had earlier—both meant to be simple—had already made their way there, and with each passing moment, your suspicions grew harder to ignore. Yet, you stubbornly refused to acknowledge what was right in front of you.

Two weeks had passed since your period was supposed to start, something completely out of the ordinary for you. Your cycle was always regular. In its place came the nausea and constant vomiting.

You didn’t know what to do. The thought of taking a test was too terrifying. It felt easier to pretend this was just a passing illness. After all, how could you possibly be pregnant? You and Lewis were always careful, taking every precaution.

“You need to take a test,” your friend Anne said as she held your hair back, preventing the mess from worsening.

“Anne, I don’t know if I want to know the answer.” You spoke between breaths, rising to rinse your mouth at the sink.

“Eventually, you’ll have to face it,” she said gently, her hand brushing over your back in a gesture of comfort. “If it’s true, you’re going to have to tell him.”

“I don’t even know if he wants to be with me, let alone a child. He’s going to hate this news.” Your tired, worried eyes stared back at you in the mirror. “I don’t know what to do.”

“He won’t hate it. He loves you, and I’m sure he’ll love having a child with you,” Anne said, trying to ease your anxiety. “Y/N, don’t believe what people say online. They just want to bring you down.”

“You don’t understand.” You turned to her, your eyes full of doubt. “We’ve never talked about it—about starting a family. Whenever the subject comes up, he changes it. At first, I thought it was because we’d only been together a short while, but now… I think he genuinely doesn’t want anything more serious.”

“But you’ve been together for two years! How could he not want something more serious?”

“He was with Nicole for seven years, and that wasn’t enough for him to marry her.” You lowered your head, your chest tightening. “Deep down, I think the media’s right. He probably just wants to stay free until the last day of his life. His whole world revolves around Formula 1. Family isn’t part of his plans. Only the eighth title matters.”

You took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. The weight of your words felt unbearable, but you couldn’t stop thinking them. The fear that this was all a mistake, that Lewis simply wasn’t ready for more, consumed you.

Anne noticed your distress and stepped closer, her hand resting on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. “I know it seems hard right now, but you can’t make these decisions on your own. You have to talk to him. He deserves to know, and you deserve to hear what he has to say.”

You turned to face her, your expression reflecting the emotional storm you were caught in. “And if he doesn’t want it? If he tells me he’s not ready, that what we have isn’t enough? What am I supposed to do with this baby? With this… life?”

“Then you’ll deal with it in your own way. This isn’t about what he wants—it’s about what you want, what you need. He may be the person you love, but don’t forget who you are and what you deserve.”

Anne’s words echoed in your mind, but the truth still felt distant, shrouded in uncertainty. It felt like you were standing at a crossroads with your life taking a direction you’d never planned for. Lewis, with his fast-paced existence of racing, titles, and adrenaline, seemed worlds apart from your quiet longing for stability—perhaps even a family. Something you weren’t even sure he shared.

In the end, you knew you couldn’t avoid reality any longer. The test needed to be done. Procrastination wasn’t an option anymore. The fear was overwhelming, but the uncertainty hurt worse. And, above all, the result would only be the beginning. The real challenge would be telling Lewis.

“Will you do this with me?” Your voice came out softer than expected, almost a whisper filled with vulnerability. You looked at Anne, searching her expression for a strength you felt you’d lost. “I mean, will you buy the test and wait for the result with me?”

Anne smiled reassuringly, taking your hand in hers with a firm grip. “Of course. And if you prefer, we can do this at my apartment. No rush, no pressure.”

You shook your head in refusal. “I think it’s better to do it here. He’s not coming back today… probably not until tomorrow night. Maybe even later.” The emptiness of the house felt less oppressive when you spoke aloud, but the apprehension was still palpable. “I just need the courage to go to the pharmacy.”

Anne squeezed your hand, her eyes full of understanding. “You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s go together. Let’s get this over with.”

The trip to the pharmacy was quick, but each step felt like a monumental challenge. The way back home seemed even longer, with the weight of the small package in your bag growing heavier by the second. Back at the apartment, you locked yourself in the bathroom while Anne waited outside, offering encouraging words that barely penetrated the storm in your mind.

You held the test in trembling hands, your eyes scanning the instructions like they were an impossible puzzle. Time seemed to freeze as you waited for the result, the silence broken only by the relentless pounding of your heart.

When you finally looked at the small display, reality crashed over you like a tidal wave. Positive.

Your breath caught in your throat, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at the lines that confirmed what you already suspected. Silent tears began to stream down your face as a flood of emotions—fear, anguish, and an inexplicable love for the new life now connected to you—washed over you.

“Well?” Anne’s soft, hesitant voice called from the other side.

You opened the door, holding the test in your trembling hand. Anne’s expression softened at the sight of your tears. She said nothing, simply pulling you into a tight embrace.

“What now?” you asked quietly, your voice laden with uncertainty.

Anne pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, her expression calm but firm. “Now you take a deep breath, Y/N. Then, you tell him. No matter the fear, no matter the doubts. He deserves to know, and you deserve to be heard.”

You nodded slowly, but the lump in your throat remained. Her words were logical, exactly what you needed to hear, but the fear still loomed, beating loudly in your chest. How would you tell Lewis? How would you find the words that would change both your lives forever?

“Anne…” Your voice came out shaky, barely a whisper, as you wrapped your arms around her tightly, searching for any fragment of comfort. “I’m so scared. What if he… what if he doesn’t want this baby?”

Anne sighed, her hand gently rubbing your back with patience. “Y/N, even if he doesn’t, which I honestly find hard to believe, you’ll move forward. You’re stronger than you think.” She pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, her gaze full of conviction. “If you want to have this baby, that’s all that matters. We’ll take care of it. I won’t leave you alone, ever.”

You closed your eyes, trying to absorb her words, but the weight of the situation still felt unbearable. “But what if he leaves me, Anne? What if he thinks this was a mistake? That I was careless?”

Anne cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to look at her. “He loves you. And even if the idea scares him at first, he’s a good man, Y/N. But more than anything, you need to remember that his love isn’t the only thing that matters here. What do you feel? What do you want? That matters, too.”

Her question hung in the air, echoing in your mind as you tried to find an answer. Deep down, you knew what you wanted. You loved Lewis with all your heart, and despite the fear consuming you, you already felt an inexplicable love for the life growing inside you. But bridging those two feelings felt impossible.

As you stared at the positive test sitting on the bedside table, your heart pounded relentlessly, racing with uncertainty. That tiny object seemed to carry the weight of all your doubts and fears. You knew you couldn’t put off talking to Lewis forever, but the thought of confronting him was paralyzing. Each passing second only tightened the knot in your throat.

He was supposed to return the following morning, giving you one night to organize your thoughts, find the right words, and somehow gather the courage that felt so far away. But now, as the reality began to settle in, you decided to push it aside for a while. You needed to distract yourself, to focus on taking care of yourself—and the baby you now carried.

In the kitchen, you started preparing something simple to eat. The thought of being responsible for another life made every small action feel significant. You couldn’t ignore your health or choices anymore. Everything you did was for two now. And though the anxiety still throbbed in your mind, there was a small, strange comfort in that realization.

You were slicing fruit when the sound of the front door opening suddenly broke the silence of the house. Your heart nearly stopped for a moment. He wasn’t supposed to be back until the next morning.

“Y/N?” Lewis’s voice echoed from the living room, heavy with exhaustion and surprise.

You turned to see him standing in the hallway, still holding his travel bag. He was dressed casually in a black jacket and his signature travel cap. His eyes locked on you, then shifted to the plate of fruit on the counter before softening into a smile.

“I decided to come back early. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He approached, leaving the bag by the wall to pull you into a warm hug. The heat of his body against yours brought immediate comfort—but also a new weight.

You weren’t ready. Not yet. But the moment seemed to have chosen him—or fate had.

“Are you okay?” Lewis asked, pulling back just enough to study your face. His expression was laced with concern.

“I’m… I’m fine. Just tired.” Your voice came out low, but you knew he would sense something was off. Lewis always did.

His brows furrowed slightly as he tilted his head, his gaze probing. “You sure? You seem a little distant.”

With him standing there, just a few steps away, the idea of telling him felt even more daunting. Fear wrapped itself around your chest, squeezing tighter and tighter. Fear that the news could change everything between you, fear that the love you shared wouldn’t be enough to face what was coming. So, for at least one more night, you decided to delay. Tomorrow would be the right time. Tonight, you just wanted to savor your last moment of peace with him—if everything changed afterward.

But the memory of the test sitting on the bedside table sent a fresh wave of panic through you. If Lewis went into the bedroom now, he’d see it. There was no way to hide it in time.

“Nothing’s wrong, love.” You forced a smile, leaning up to kiss him, his lips still warm from the chill outside. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll take your bag and be right back, okay?”

Before you could grab his bag, Lewis held onto it firmly, shaking his head.

“You don’t need to do that. I can carry my own bag.” He smiled, the kind of smile that always made your heart flutter, and slung the strap back over his shoulder. “I’ll shower and then we can pick a movie, yeah?”

“No, seriously, let me.” You insisted, your voice slightly too quick. “You must be exhausted. Just relax, I’ll handle it.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing your unease, but didn’t argue further. “Y/N, I’m not made of glass. I can carry my own luggage.”

Without another word, you followed him to the bedroom, your heart racing with every step. Lewis placed his bag by the wardrobe but lingered, his gaze drifting back to you.

“You’re acting weird,” he commented with a small smile, though he didn’t press further. “I’ll take a quick shower and be back. Pick us a good movie.”

As soon as he entered the bathroom and the door closed, you let out the breath you had been holding and quickly made your way to the bedside table. With swift movements, you grabbed the test and hid it in the deepest drawer, pushing it down beneath a few papers. When you finished, the relief was immediate, but brief.

You left the room and returned to the kitchen, trying to distract yourself with anything else. You prepared a bowl of fruit and placed it on the counter, but your mind couldn’t help but drift back to the inevitable moment that was coming.

Minutes later, sensing something was off with Lewis’s delay, you decided to return to the bedroom. When you opened the door, your heart nearly stopped at the sight before you. Lewis was sitting on the bed, his eyes fixed on the pregnancy test he was holding in his hand.

“Lewis…” your voice came out weak, barely a whisper.

He looked up, and for a moment, you couldn’t read his expression. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t relief either. It was something in between—confusion, perhaps.

“How long have you known?” he asked, his voice low but firm.

The question hit you like a punch. “What? Lewis, I—”

“Were you hiding this from me?” He stood up, his brow furrowed in a mix of frustration and hurt. “Did you think you could handle this alone?”

“I didn’t… I just found out!” you retorted, feeling your eyes well up. “I didn’t even have time to think, to process. I was going to tell you, Lewis!”

But he didn’t seem to hear you. He ran his hands through his hair, clearly trying to organize his thoughts.

“I thought we were a couple, Y/N. That we trusted each other.”

Those words hit you cruelly, a blow to your vulnerability. “Lewis, I wasn’t hiding anything! I just… I didn’t have the courage to take the test until today. I needed a moment. A second to process what was happening to me.”

He paused, studying your face, his dark eyes softening as his anger dissolved into understanding. Finally, he shook his head, the weight of the tension lifting from his shoulders.

“When were you planning on telling me?” he asked, his voice quieter, but still firm.

“I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you rushed to explain, almost pleading for him to believe you. “I just… I didn’t know how to do it. Lewis, please, believe me.”

His expression changed completely. Without saying another word, he walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. The warmth of his body was comforting, but what struck you the most was the soft sound of a sob. He was crying.

“You should’ve told me as soon as you suspected,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I wanted to be here with you when you took the test.”

“Are… are you happy?” you asked hesitantly, the words coming out in a whisper full of doubt.

He pulled back slightly, cradling your face in his big, warm hands. A smile broke through the tears streaming down his face.

“Of course I’m happy, my love.” His voice was low, but full of conviction. “This baby is a piece of our love. How could I not be happy?”

You collapsed into his arms, your head resting on his strong chest as tears flowed freely down your face. The relief and love you felt in that moment were overwhelming.

“You have no idea how scared I was,” you confessed through sobs. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want this baby… that you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

He held you even tighter, impossibly so, and kissed the top of your head, lingering in the gesture.

“I would never do that, Y/N. Never.” He sighed, his voice thick with emotion. “You mean everything to me. And now, we’re going to be a family. I just wish I’d been there with you from the start.”

His words were a balm, soothing the storms that had built in your heart over the past few weeks.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, still hidden against his chest.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he replied, gently stroking your hair. “We’re both learning. But now that I know… I promise you’ll never face any of this alone again.”

You stayed like that for long minutes, not needing any more words. The moment was just for the two of you, and nothing seemed more important than the future you were beginning to build together.

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[gnrbitch]

Summer Break pt.10 - Hair of the Dog

Warnings: Mentions of smut, smoking, verbal arguments

————

Day 11, 1986

"Where the fuck did you go" Slash said as Y/n entered the apartment, 30 minutes after she had walked out.

"Nowhere" The girl said, lying.

"You went with that fucken Fru guy didn't you?" Slash said, following Y/n as she walked towards their shared room.

Y/n rolled her eyes "Thats none of your business Slash"

Slash grabbed Y/n by her arm turning her to face him "You fucked him didn't you?"

Y/n scoffed "You're being ridiculous Slash"

"You fucken did" Slash looked at her angrily

"That's none of your business" Y/n said

"It kinda is when you were just about to fuck me" Slash scoffed at her "I didn't know you were such a whore"

Y/n's face dropped "Did you just call me a whore?"

"Yea, i did" Slash said with a smug look on his face

Y/n pulled away from him "You're such a fucken dick" "I didn't fuck him, and i'm sure as hell am not gonna fuck you"

"Yea, like I fucken believe that" Slash scoffed at her

"HEYYYY WE'RE HOMEEE" Duff said as he and Mandy walked through the door.

Looking at the sight before him, he put his hand on his hip "Were you guys fighting?"

"Just a little bickering maybe" Y/n said quickly, there was no point in lying if both her and Slash looked like they were ready to murder one another. "Nothing too serious"

Slash nodded his head, "Yea, I'll see you later guys" he said as he walked towards the front door.

"Where are you staying tonight?" Duff furrowed his eyebrows

"Goin to the hell house, forgot i told Steven i'd help him on a few drum parts" The curly head said as he opened the door, taking one last glance at Y/n as he rolled his eyes.

"What happened?" Duff said as he looked at Y/n "Slash seemed pretty upset"

"We just fought over a pack of cigarettes" Y/n shrugged "He must be going through some other shit"

"Right..." Duff said, looking at Mandy

"So what'd you guys do today?" Y/n quickly changed the subject.

"Just went out together, thought we could use a day to ourselves" Duff said.

"Thats cool" Y/n said

"Do you wanna watch a movie? I have some good horrors" Duff smiled at her.

Y/n returned the smile, "Yea, that sounds fun"

"I'll get some popcorn" Mandy smiled at the two, heading towards the kitchen.

"Don't burn it!" Duff called out to her as she made her way to their small kitchen. Mandy just stuck out her middle finger.

"Alright, what should we watch?" Duff said as he put down their movie options in between them (they're sitting on the couch now lol)

Y/n looked through the movies and held them up, "Clockwork Orange fucken truamatized me, so definitely not that one" She said as Duff laughed.

"What about Halloween?" Duff asked, holding the box up

"Eh too predictable" Y/n nodded her head

"Okay but when we went to go see it you almost cried!" Duff laughed

Y/n laughed along with him, "Duff I was eight!"

"Oh my god Duff we have to watch this one" Y/n said as she held up 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

"That one freaks me out" Duff said

"Comon, i've never watched it before!" Y/n pleaded

"Alright fine but if you end up wanting to sleep in my bed im gonna kill you" Duff laughed

"I was eight!" The girl reminded him

"Excuses Excuses" Duff tutted

Mandy came back with the bowl of popcorn, setting it on the table in front of them as Duff put in the movie into their VHS box.

Y/n payed attention to some of the movie, before her mind went back to what had happened earlier. Maybe she should've just made it clear to Slash that she didn't sleep with John. But she thought about how Slash was already barking at her once she stepped foot into the house-

"HOLY SHIT!" She heard Duff say, interrupting her thoughts.

Y/n laughed as she stared at the TV in front of her, being unable to put her attention back into the movie. What a fucken mess has this all been. She can’t just be on bad terms with Slash, she thought. She's always around him, and they might just kill each other. Then everyone’s gonna know what happened!

At some point during the movie, don't ask Y/n which one. The girl fell asleep. And Duff & Mandy left her there, on the couch.

Eleven pm, pt. 1 of Day 12

Y/n woke up to the sound of Duff and Mandy laughing about god knows what in the kitchen. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up.

Y/n walked into the kitchen, "See, I told you i wasn't gonna wanna sleep in your bed" She spoke in a raspy voice.

"Yea thats only cause you fell asleep through half of the movie!" Duff looked at her.

"Yea yea, god my fucken neck hurts" The dark haired girl said, hand on the back of her neck.

"Yeaaa that's on us, probably should've told you to go to your bed" Mandy said, sipping on her coffee

"You should've, it feels like I just slept on bricks" Y/n said as she tiredly walked towards the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, splashed her face with cold water, then headed to her room.

She changed into a simple outfit (her top is the picture at the bottom of the title, imagine whatever bottoms you want). As she was putting on mascara, Duff opened the door.

"Hey kid" He said leaning on the door

"Hey Duff, whats up?" she smiled at him through the broken mirror in front of her

"Nothing, I'm about to head into work" He said, pointing at his collared shirt

"Ou that sucks" The girl said

"Hell yea it does, what are your plans for today?" He asked her

"I'm not sure" The girl said "Might just chill today, maybe go for a walk later" She shrugged.

Duff nodded his head at her "Alright well just be safe, sorry i have to leave you alone again"

"It's alright, maybe we can hang out tomorrow" Y/n looked at him

"Tomorrows perfect, I have nothing in my schedule" He said

"Schedule, like if your some business man" Y/n laughed

"Hey I'll have you know I take my job at mcdonalds very seriously" Duff looked at her with a stern face, before they both bursted into laughter.

Mandy walked to Y/ns doorway and smiled at the two laughing, feeling bad that she had to cut this moment short.

Duff looked at Mandy, "Ready to go?" he asked, smile still on his face

"Yea i am, see you later Y/n!" Mandy said

Y/n waved at her "Bye Mandy"

Duff walked up to her and gave her a pat on the head, "I'll be back soon, be safe"

Y/n nodded her head, "You too, see you later, love you"

"Love you too Y/n" Duff smiled at her as he walked out the door.

Y/n walked around the house for a while, called all her friends back in Seattle for a while, which she immediately regretted because now she had a severe case of homesickness, and surprisingly, she even missed her mom.

She sighed to herself, bored of being alone when she finally decided where she was gonna go.

Y/n held the strap of her bag as she tried to remember the directions of this place. Speaking to herself as if that would help.

"Okay... i think i should take a left" she spoke to herself, looking at all the houses around her, trying to recognize the hell house.

She saw a house across the street from her with a many kegs outside and walked towards it, it didn't really take a genius to figure out some rockstars lived here.

And as Y/n walked through the front door, a girl was walking out. The girl broke her neck to take a good look at her. And Y/n hates to judge, but she was about 99.9 percent sure that, that girl was a prostitute.

She finally stepped into the house to find Izzy sitting on the couch, guitar in his hands.

"Hey Iz" The girl said

Izzy already had his eyebrows furrowed, asking himself what the fuck was Y/n doing here. "Hey Y/n" he said

"Where’s Slash?" The girl asked

Izzy shaked his head as he lazily pointed to a door.

"Thanks Izzy" The girl said as she walked into the room.

"The fuck are you doing here" Slash said as he laid on the bed, the blanket only covering his privates.

Y/n rolled her eyes, able to piece two and two together, Slash fucked that girl! "I'm just here to know if your still butthurt, but i can see you are"

Slash lit a cigarette up, "Well now you know, so you can get out of here"

"I didn't fuck John by the way" She said

"Like i care" Slash quickly responded

"Sure you don't, you're just the one who got soooo asshurt that you had to go fuck a hooker" Y/n crossed her arms

"Seems like now you're asshurt" Slash rolled his eyes

"Don't worry, I'm not worried about whatever loose pussy you're fucking" Y/n laughed in his face.

Slash got up, holding the blanket at his privates, cigarette in his mouth. "You better shut the fuck up Y/n"

"Or what- Okay no. Look lets just let this go alright?" Y/n said, trying to just end this stupid fight.

"No no i don't have to let shit go" Slash said, removing the cigarette from his mouth.

"See thats your fucken issue! You could never let shit go!" Y/n said, annoyed.

"No this is your fault! You left me there like some fucken idiot!" Slash raised his voice.

"Okay shit Im sorry dude!" Y/n began to raise her voice also, she was becoming threatened by Slash, "I just had to get some shit sorted out!"

"Oh yea okay, like fucking him!" Slash responded

Y/n threw her hands in the air "I didn't fuck him!", "Why don't you believe me!"

"How do you expect me to! You're a fucken slut who likes to throw herself to everyone who just looks at her" Slash yelled, immediately regretting the words that came out of his mouth.

Y/n disgustingly looked at him up and down, "You’re one to fucken talk" She scoffed as she opened the door, walking out of the room and walking out of this stupid fucken house.

"Bye Iz" She said as she was leaving, hearing Slash calling out for her.

"What the fuck did you guys do?" Izzy looked at Slash, who had guilt written all over his face.

Y/n scoffed to herself as she walked back home, tears threatening to leave her eyes, what the fuck did Slash know? He didn't know jackshit about her!

The girl eventually made her way back to Duff's place, sitting on her bed as she considered calling John and telling him what had happened, since she had confessed to him what happened at the night of the party, buttt she did leave out the part where he interrupted her and Slash's make out session. So she eventually decided against calling him.

Smoking a cigarette, the phone rang. She got up to answer, praying that it wasn't Slash.

"Hello?"

"Hey Y/n!" She heard John at the other end of the phone.

"Hey Fru" She smiled at his voice

"Y/n i have a invitation for you" John said

"Invitation?" The girl questioned

"Yea, invitation. Do you wanna go to a party with me?"

"Where is this party?" The girl asked.

"Somewhere around here, pleaseeeee go with me" John begged

"Okay okay, I was gonna say yes anyways, what time?" The girl asked

"I'll pick you up at eleven" He said

"Alright, is it cool if i tell Duff im sleeping over at yours?" The girl said, Duff wouldn't have an issue if was just sleeping over, she thought.

"Yea thats cool, see you later alligator" He said, and Y/n could just feel him smiling at the other end.

"In a while, crocodile" She said, cringing at herself.

"HA! i knew you would break one day" John laughed

"Shut up Fru" Y/n smiled as she hung up the phone.

This probably wasn't a good idea, but fuck it.

-----

YASSS gonna have the next chapter up as soon as I can, hope you guys enjoyed!!!

xxxgnrbitch

Tagged: @hoodiesandicedcoffee

[tadpolesonalgae]

i've seen a lot of people saying they'd want cbmthy reader to end up in spring but i don't see it. reader only seems to have a bad relationship with az (and even that is not a harmful relationship per se, as much of an asshole as he's being i think he would protect her like he protects the rest of the ic and the night court) so going to spring makes no sense since 1. tamlin hurt her sister and 2. said sister damn near destroyed his court (actually kind of hate that she did that that way too but) and reader ending up there but still being on good terms with the night court just doesn't really make sense to me. also tamlin acts like a republican, he gave me the ick beyond repair, i know some people want a redemption (and i accept that) but id rather not have to read about him.

my personal feelings aside i think if reader really doesn't end up with azriel (which i think wouldn't make sense because then all the hurt would be for nothing) the best bets for her to move would be autumn with eris but only if eris is already high lord because subjecting her to beron would suck, the day court since helion is the closest to the night court and they trust him also she would love the libraries or she could replace lucien with vassa and jurian (or join him if he doesnt end up with elain or in the day court), the winter court maybe but only for the fact that it's tje other court that seems closer to the night court mostly because of vivianne. or my favorite which is just staying home lol her family is in the night court so even if her and az dont end up together she deserves to be able to stay there with her family as much as him. azriel loved mor for 500 years and knew she didnt love him back but they both still managed to act civil and be friends. even if az hurt reader more i hope it wouldn't be to the point of them not being able to be civil so they could just stay, and they live forever so she'd get over her feelings eventually and find someone new. moving a character away when something bad or a breakup happen is something i always disliked so maybe that's why im giving it so much thought but it really always feels off because what do u mean you can't both keep your family/friends? if nothing truly bad happens why does one character always have to leave? idk

before i finish i just wanna say im not trying to be mean or speak over anyone that has said they'd like her to be in spring. i just wanted to add my opinion but i know over writing like this we cant really convey much emotion so i dont want to sound mean or anything

First of all, I didn’t think you were being mean at all, but thank you for adding that clarification anyway :)

Secondly, to be fair, for me it’s not so much as where she goes rather that she simply needs some time elsewhere. Nothing permanent, but a shift in scene because she’s caught in stale waters and if nothing changes she won’t ever learn to step forward and progress. Also, while the idea of her going to the Spring Court is—I think—very fun, and would be like throwing a spanner in the works, I feel there are only really two places she could go that would make sense to the story, and neither of those are the Spring Court (as interesting as it could be)

Also, I am fully down for a Tam redemption arc 😭🤌

I don’t want to say who she’ll end up with because I think part of the fun is contained within not knowing? She might get with Bas for a bit but then move to the Autumn Court, might become happy by herself and content on her own, might get with Az only for a mating bond to pop up between her and Eris. Who knows? 👀

(I enjoy messing with you)

It might be fun for her and Helion to get in touch, even if it’s just her requesting a scroll or book from one of his libraries, but no promises about that 😭

And thank you for sending this in, it really helps guide me with future parts—helping me know what to emphasise or what I should try to expand upon if it’s been skated over in a previous chapter :) 🧡💛

[cyeayt]

If you’re reading a post describing a problem (this post focuses on fandom but I think some of it should be applicable irl) and you relate to the behavior or belief being criticized, that does not make you a bad person or inherently wrong. However, your response is important.

You probably need to process it, see how and why it applies to you, and if necessary, take steps to change it.

Examine the thesis of the post. What is the thing op is actually talking about? Does it really apply to you? Do you understand why op is calling the thing harmful? Do you agree? (For me these have mostly been yes, but who knows maybe you’ve found someone you want to block. Note: if you do end up deciding that the post is wrong, make sure it’s for reasons other than your discomfort. Curate your spaces but learn to take criticism.)

Dig into your mind. How does this apply to you? How often and in what circumstances do you do the thing? Why? Is your doing of the thing actively harmful? (Probably not on a huge scale, we’re all just people with phones, but you are part of collective movements opinions and actions.)

This is the most uncomfortable part. If you find yourself to be a perpetrator of something you’ve deemed harmful, don’t freak out. You are human, you are imperfect, and you can change and grow.

After identifying why and where the behavior happens, think about what you can do to break or reduce it. This might be hard. It’s okay and probably good if you have to put direct effort into it. Your brain is a ball of squirming meaty worms, and being aware that they’re squirming in a shape you don’t like won’t stop them from squirming there. Habit forming advice might be helpful here.

For example, this post is mostly talking about the tendency in fandom to focus on male characters. I’m guilty of this, and I’m working on it. Some things I’ve done/doing are: identifying women characters I already like and putting time into talking/drawing/writing/posting about them. Making effort to notice women characters in media im consuming. Figuring out why I don’t like certain women characters and deconstructing the stereotypes and mischaracterizations I often find there. Making women ocs with traits I tend to like in male characters.

These are just things that have worked for me in that area, but the energy and point can be translated into other problems as well. This is the longest step. It’s not even really a step, more of a habit to be formed. There isn’t a point where you’ll complete something and be able to go: wow, I’ve got it!

You’re also not alone. Depending on the subject, there might be books, posts, podcasts, zines, etc to help you. You can make posts yourself about it, talk to your mutuals and friends. Discuss it with people irl, if you can.

(Note, this is where it slips into minority “it’s not our job to educate you” territory. I agree with this sentiment. But oftentimes if you do a little digging, you will find someone who wants to and is making an effort to. I see this mostly in the context of white supremacy, the unlearning of which is a difficult and uncomfortable journey. Basically, don’t expect people to cater to you, but also chances are someone’s already written a book about it.)

I don’t have a conclusion to this post. It’s kinda rambly and the organization was dropped in favor of smaller more readable paragraphs.

Disclaimer! I am just some guy(?)! I don’t have that much experience! If this comes off as pretentious I’m sorry I’m just trying to be nice and understanding. I have and will engage in problematic behaviors in the past future, and right now probably, because its impossible not to. Chasing standards of moral perfection will always fail because it doesn’t exist and people are beautiful horrible messes and we all live under capitalism anyway. This doesn’t mean you can’t try to be better, but if you try to be perfect you’re going to have a nervous breakdown. Improvement is constant and eternal work!

I am personally also just naturally very self aware and good at identifying what’s going on in my brain. If you asked me how to deconstruct an assumption I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I would probably do an allegory with a big nasty knotted ball of string that hangs in your attic, and you just start poking the handle of a broom up into it at a frequency that is up to you. Once or twice a week I take a second to run through my misogynistic hall of mirrors and widen the cracks in a few of them and stick post it notes of women I love all over the place.

Also have fun and do whatever you want.

Did you know there’s a limit to the number of tags you can put on a post? I didn’t!

https://mashable.com/article/how-to-be-antiracist <- fun read, very important and topical, but also exploring ideas that can be extrapolated to other areas and biases

[aliensmoothie]

could you tell me more about the story for your garfen streets ocs? u mentioned them last time i sent an ask and the story seems interesting:)

YAY YAY .I CAN . this is going under the readmore its a long rambling one . 😁 tw for some descriptions of violence and gore ( nothing too in depth ) . also im being vague in some parts bcs id like to make a garden street comic one day and dont want to spoil things too much .however if anyone wants to ask more well then who's to say .

SO ok . its not very solidly outlined still . so some of this is Probably subject to change . but it revolves arnd the torres family ( GD , Static , Mia , Isabelle ) and the tenant who moves in to help Isabelle make ends meet ( Naomi :) ) . when Naomi moves in well . she's already kind of strange herself . but all kinds of strange things start happening around the city . people going missing primarily but all kinds of weird evidence being left in their place . sometimes gorey messes or technological junk or just other weird stuff . and occasionally just nothing . and people start acting weird too , the girls talk to people theyve known their whole lives who are just ... off . they disappear at weird times or dont remember key things that definitely happened to them . the girls definitely notice it all , but GD decides for herself that its connected to Naomi , and investigates her while she's living there .

a lot of big events connecting to the strange shit happen ( <- THIS IS WHERE IM BEING VAGUE ) that reveal that the things happening are tied to a strange Other World ( on earth as well - like a parallel plane ) . and within this world , a conspiracy is growing to harness it for the purpose of mass controlling people in the real world ( that part might be subject to change . the big bad plan is a newer decision it might not stay the same ). the girls learn about the other world and its connection to their world , and fight The Horrors to stop the conspiracy . alot of manmade horrors etc in here . i will be honest also GD is primarily the main character . alot of the adventure is spearheaded by her . grins

hmmm .what other details should i mention . ok ill be a little less vague here i think . there is at one point a doppelganger of static who shows up after static is missing for a few days . gd accidentally kills the doppelganger and it messes her up pretty bad . naomi isnt directly connected to the strange things happening , but is From the other world and used to be a doppelganger like the fake static , but was from a different wave of doppelgangers that is pretty much gone by the time of the story . i also kind of think of story beats out of nowhere sometimes those all end up in the garden street server .which anyone can join always im happy to have new people there when ever smile . if anyone got all the way down here and does want to join just ask me for an invite <3 <3

[yslkook]

TiO (8)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook is a man of mystery and you take him on a date.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, a shitty relationship, unprotected sex (pls use protection, these two are being foolish) , some choking, grinding, making out, oral

word count: ~6.3k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. a big thank you to @cutechim for creating the texts for me lmao<33

***

Jungkook remains tight-lipped about what it was he had done over the weekend, when he had gone with Jin and Mina to a tattoo convention a few hours away. They had ended up staying the night there, and while Jungkook wanted to ask you to come with him, he wondered if it was too soon to ask. After all, you were both still enjoying each other’s company at your own sweet pace.

Eventually his little secret gets put on the back burner for the rest of the week. You were supposed to get bubble tea with him on Tuesday, but unfortunately a last minute work issue with your client and your application came up. You’d ended up working late, your eyes screaming in fatigue and went straight to bed that evening. He had understood, of course he did.

On Thursday, he was supposed to grab lunch with you at a cafe that he thought you might like, but this time it was him who had a conflict. His older sister had showed up to the tattoo parlor without any prior notice. She does this every so often, when things aren’t going well with her on again, off again shitty “boyfriend”.

Jungkook had sighed, cancelling on lunch with you to spend time with Jooyeon and comfort her with fried chicken and ice cream. You had sent an understanding thumbs up and a promise to call him later and end up having lunch with your work wife, Kira instead.

Kira who doesn’t fail to point out the glow in your cheeks and your general aura, even though it’s been nearly a week and a half since you saw Jungkook last. You roll your eyes and ignore the flames in your cheeks (and her laughter), and change the subject to your work projects. She tells you about some of the coding issues and compliance issues she’s been having with her software, and you tell her about the hours you’ve been pouring into your application for your client.

It doesn’t bother you that Jungkook hadn’t asked if you wanted to meet his sister. After all, he’d told you bits and pieces about her and her relationship. And in the last few weeks, your relationship has blossomed so beautifully. There was no reason to rush, you think. You’ll meet her hopefully under better circumstances for her.

Jungkook spends most of the evening with Jooyeon, letting her cry herself to sleep in his bed. His sister hardly ever cries like this, with sobs full of pain and hurt because of another man. But it’s been happening too much lately, too many fights and too much of Joo losing herself. It makes Jungkook see red more often than not. He knows what you’d say- that she needs him more than anything else and to not be so impulsive.

He makes sure Joo eats a warm meal before she falls asleep and he shoots you a text:

Jungkook: baby

You: hi

You: everything ok?

Jungkook: no, joo’s bf is a fkin asshole

Jungkook: she’s sleeping

Jungkook: miss u

You: im sorry baby :( can i call you?

He jumps at the chance, the sound of your voice and sight of your pretty face on video call instantly calming him. Jungkook is sure to wear a beanie to hide his surprise for you (but you don’t question it. After all, you’ve seen him in beanies plenty of times before and it’s dim in the apartment.) He moves to the couch, asking softly for you to tell him about your day. You recount every single detail from memory, shifting under your covers to tell him about how you had nearly stumbled down the stairs in front of your manager’s manager because you had missed a step.

It pulls a soft laugh from him.

“Jungkook,” You say quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jungkook sighs, “She’s just… Byung-woo and her have had this on and off thing for years now. He won’t commit to her and she just refuses to see him for what he is. Like, when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. I wish she’d fucking see it for herself. I don’t know what to do anymore, baby.”

“Oh, baby,” You murmur, wishing you could hug him, “All you can do is be there for her but be honest with her. She’ll come around soon, hopefully. It’s hard to see past a shitty person sometimes, when all you want is for them to love you.”

“I hope so, too,” Jungkook says, “She’d love you, you know?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe you can meet her someday. Under better circumstances, I mean.”

“Really? You want me to meet your older sister?” You ask softly, feeling a little flustered, “That’s serious.”

“I told you, baby,” Jungkook soothes, “I’m serious about you.”

“Yeah. Seriously crazy about me,” You giggle to yourself. You know if Jungkook was with you, he’d flick your forehead.

“It’s true,” He murmurs, “Maybe I can see you this weekend?”

“Yeah, you still have to show me what you did over the weekend! Take care of Jooyeon first,” You reply, “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll drop stuff off, just tell me.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises, “Sleep well, I miss you.”

“Sleep well. I miss you.”

***

Jooyeon ends up leaving on Saturday morning after a lecture from Jungkook and with determined resolve in her eyes. You jump at the chance to take him out tonight, knowing how stressed he’s been the last few days.

You: be ready at 6:30 tn, im taking u out. and dress slutty

Jungkook doesn’t know how to interpret your text when he reads it. He considers asking Mina and Mei what this means, but ultimately leaves it alone. Replying to your message with a quick thumbs up, he busies himself with getting ready to see you (and surprising you, finally after a full week of wanting to show you what he had done.)

Once you parallel park your car (which takes far too long than you’d like to admit), you grab the small bouquet of purple roses that you had gotten for Jungkook and text him saying that you’ll be up in a few minutes.

Taehyung had caught you struggling to parallel park, and had told Jungkook with a snicker. Which earned him a punch to the arm.

There wasn’t a particular reason that you had chosen to get purple roses for him, other than the fact that they reminded you of him. You hope he likes them.

Jungkook hears a soft knock at the door, and can already envision you behind it. He hopes you like his surprise, the one he’s been teasing you for a week about. You had given no hints of what you would be wearing- you had only sent him one selfie that didn’t give much of a hint into your outfit. He has no doubt that you’ll look gorgeous, but still.

Maybe Jungkook’s nerves shouldn’t be this intense, but he can’t help it. He swings the front door open, only to be greeted by you swaying on your feet with your hands held behind your back. His heart throbs when you pull your hands apart and present him with a beautiful bouquet of purple roses.

How ironic.

“Hello,” You say with a small smile, suddenly feeling a little shy and gasping when your eyes land on his hair, “Wow. You weren’t kidding…”

His hair is tied back into a ponytail, but it’s unmistakably elegant and so violet. Two neat pieces of his newly dyed hair fall into his face effortlessly, but then your gaze reaches the piercing on his left eyebrow. Your lips remain parted in surprise and without thinking, you reach up to touch his hair. It’s still soft, as it always is.

“Come in, baby,” Jungkook says, taking the roses from you, “You must really like me, huh? Got me flowers and everything?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, cheeks heating up, “Don’t get a big head.”

Jungkook only grins wolfishly at you and winks at you, eyes unashamedly glued to your ass. You roll your eyes, and swat his shoulder as you watch him put the rose in a vase and place it in the center of the dining table.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been in his shared apartment (that he lives with Taehyung and Jimin in) but you somehow feel shy in his presence again, as if it was the first time. The first time you had been here with him had been the first time you had spent the night at his apartment several weeks ago, after a night out with your friends.

You let your gaze wander, curious eyes settling on the subtle matching of the furniture and the cleanliness of the apartment. There’s not a stray speck of dust in sight, but maybe you’re distracting yourself from addressing the pretty purple of his hair. Your mouth is dry, and you’re probably drooling a little. You wonder if Jungkook prepared for this, the same way you did (in that you had washed your car, cleaned every inch of it and gotten a new car freshener).

A faint scent of fresh laundry and lavender sits in the spaces of his home. It calms you and gives you the boost to turn your eyes to him.

“Thanks for the roses, baby,” Jungkook says, giving you a smile and starry eyes. He pulls you into his arms, your back against the counter. “Surprise. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” You mumble, brain deciding to short-circuit with the way he looks at you. His smile turns into a smirk, deciding to further render you speechless by pressing himself closer to you and cradling your neck. He’s careful not to touch your face. He doesn’t want to mess your makeup up terribly, at least not yet.

“I know you like my hair. Your face says it all, baby,” Jungkook continues and ducks his head for a quick kiss, “You’re pretty.” He does quite like this dress, light blue and dotted in small flowers with thin straps. His eyes are instantly drawn to the drawstring at the center of your chest and he quells the urge to pull at it.

Jungkook’s mouth waters when he sees the side split of the dress but you want more from him immediately, but he pulls away to your chagrin. Even with the simple kiss, the burgundy color of your lipstick stains his plump bottom lip.

You shiver. It appears that he tried to take your words via text to heart- to dress slutty. He’s wearing a loose animal print button up, with the top three buttons undone. It gives you a delectable view of his pecs, his collarbones and a hint of the tattoo on his right side. As if you weren’t already weak in the knees for him as it was, he wears a black coat and tight, leather pants.

Jungkook pulls it off, like he pulls everything off and the purple hair blends seamlessly with his look. Tonight, he’d opted for two silver hoops in each ear and a thin silver necklace to match.

Your knees are weak, they’ve been weak since you had seen him in this offensive outfit and his hair, his new piercing that was clearly an attack on your entire existence.

The purple hair. The piercing. He’ll be the death of you tonight, you know it. Your legs are wobbly, panties already probably a little wet just from seeing him and from a few of his kisses. But you can’t help it. Without thinking, you press your lips to his, drawing your tongue into his mouth eagerly. You are so hungry, so eager to devour him and drink up anything that he offers you. Jungkook tugs you closer to him lightly by your waist but-

“Seriously? Right in front of my dinner?” Comes an amused voice from behind Jungkook and you nearly screech at the familiar sound of Jimin’s voice.

“I- I didn’t-You-” You stammer, feeling your face heat up to a degree that it’s definitely never heated up to before. You hide behind Jungkook to fix your surely wrecked lipstick. You’re certain his own lips are probably comically smudged with your lipstick as well. “Sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, we’ll leave-”

Jungkook only rolls his eyes at Jimin’s wide smirk and knowing eyes. He hears you scolding Jungkook for not telling him that anyone was home, to which he promptly responds “well, you didn’t ask!”

Despite the very natural and easy flow of conversation between you and Jungkook in your car, you still feel overheated and jumpy, your fingers incessantly tapping on the steering wheel. It’s not Jungkook, it’s you and your own nerves. It’s not the first time you’ve gone out to dinner with him and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve had him in your car. If Jungkook notices, he says nothing.

“Where are we going, baby?” Jungkook asks, looking at you. You don’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the road despite being at a red light.

“Umm, that place you mentioned the other day. The one we talked about trying together,” You say softly. Jungkook can only wonder why you’re a little quiet, but he thinks he knows. You slip into your head so easily and he doesn’t mind gently tugging you out of your thought cloud and into reality with him.

“Can you help me park,” You mumble sheepishly, “I get nervous parking in such tight spaces.”

“Yeah, pull over here before it’s impossible to,” Jungkook murmurs. You nod and do so, hopping out of the driver’s seat to switch places with him. But before you can get in the passenger’s seat, Jungkook grips your wrist loosely. You look at him curiously, with wide eyes and he drops a kiss to your lips, swallowing your surprise.

“You’re so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, “So fucking pretty, baby. I love this dress on you.” You preen at his praise, leaning forward for another kiss with a shy smile. He subtly squeezes your left tit before letting his hand travel downward.

“You look really good, Jungkook,” You murmur before he kisses you, “I-I really, really like it. A lot.”

He gently caresses your thigh from under your dress, the heat of his hand shooting straight up your core. Jungkook slips his tongue into your mouth quickly, coaxing your endearing nervousness away. As if you both aren’t pulled over to the side of the street where cars are passing you by (and surely wondering why you both were making out like this in public).

“Are we gonna be those people who have a roadside quickie,” You laugh, gently pushing his shoulder when you pull away.

“Roadside quickie? Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jungkook says but his lips twist into a wicked smirk, “But hey, if you wanna give me road head, I’m not going to complain about it-”

“Ha, you would be so lucky,” You scoff, feeling your nerves beginning to ease out of you, “C’mon, our reservation is soon. And then we can talk about road head.”

Dinner goes perfectly and after a glass of wine you feel those inexplicable nerves wash away. What did you have to be nervous for anyway? It was Jungkook- Jungkook who you’ve known for years. Your friend before any of this. He asks you about work, how your application is going-

“Your client sounds pretty demanding,” Jungkook muses, “You keeping up with it okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m not even an application engineer so I’m just learning as I go. My true roots are data and data science but I get to see all of it. Which is cool. But also time consuming, like the other evening, I had to read up on the compliance regulations. But my favorite thing is creating modeling and programs for this app, it’s really cool because it’s healthcare specific. So I’m learning about that sector as well, it’s mostly python but we’ve been doing testing with different healthcare providers in the area and they’re all responding really well to it-” You’re rambling, you know it, but your passion for your career knows no bounds and Jungkook makes no move to stop you. He only smiles at you, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching, gesturing for you to continue.

It’s funny. Not even a few months ago, you would have cut yourself off from your own rambling. In an attempt to convince yourself that the other person didn’t need to hear about it. Maybe that was Sora’s subconscious influence on you. Today, you don’t think twice about it, glowing and shimmering under the dim, blue lights of the restaurant as you tell Jungkook more about your job.

He makes your heart race and he’s sitting right in front of you. Your chin is in your hands as you listen to the pretty words slipping out of his lips. He’s so dreamy, and you struggle to not let your gaze stray from his eyes and linger on his exposed tattoos and chest. You don’t even know where to look, deciding to settle on the way his newly purple locks fall to his forehead just perfectly.

“What do you wanna eat for dessert?” You murmur, looking at the menu and cautiously allowing your foot to brush against his.

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming-

“You,” Jungkook says easily, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“Corny,” You roll your eyes, but nudge his foot again. You end up deciding on sharing a slice of decadent, chocolate mousse cake. Which Jungkook ends up finishing off when you satisfy your sweet tooth after a few big bites.

He leans over without a second thought, thumbing away stray cream from the corner of your mouth. Your tongue darts out to lick the tip of his thumb and he looks at you with wide eyes before grinning roguishly.

“Wanna get outta here, baby?”

“Should I take you home, Jungkook?” You ask, finding the courage somewhere in the remnants of the glass of wine currently evaporating from your system to take his hand in your lap once you’re both settled in your car.

“Do you want to take me home?” Jungkook asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“I have some wine I think you’d like at my place. I just got it,” You say a little breathlessly, “And I have to inspect something, I might need your help.” Jungkook laughs, a little derisively and you pout.

“You don’t have to bribe me with wine, baby. You know I would’ve been down regardless,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand, “What do you need to inspect? Do you have a leak or something?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a leak alright,” You say under your breath, thinking about the growing wetness in your panties, “My man just showed up here with purple hair and an eyebrow piercing, looking like a damn model after one whole week. I have to inspect him.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, I would love to be your lab rat. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen the inside of your bedroom before-”

“Who said you’d get that far?”

“I already did, baby. Did you forget?” Jungkook’s smirk widens, eyes sparkling with mischief. He gently cups your face, thumb on your chin and hovers just over your lips. You think he’s about to kiss you, so you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips on yours.

But it never comes. Instead, his breath fans over your cheeks and he lets out a low laugh. “I sure didn’t forget, and I know you didn’t either.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hand away, ignoring (but letting out a smile) when he chuckles. You decide to hold his hand for as much of the drive back home you can.

Jungkook’s hands are on your hips even as you’re fumbling with the keys to your front door. He’s a distraction, his warm heat plastered against your back and the simple act of opening your damn door feels like too much of a chore. When Jungkook’s lips glaze over the back of your neck, his fingers roaming your waist, it’s difficult for you to focus.

So Jungkook scoffs and turns the key for you. “Can’t open the door, baby?” Jungkook taunts and you level him with a glare.

“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself in front of my door!”

“You like it,” Jungkook says, shutting the door behind him and hugging you as you try to walk away from him to wash up. You escape his grip with a giggle and lock yourself in your bathroom, while Jungkook waits with a disgruntled pout.

When you come out, you head into the kitchen to pour out two glasses of wine and bring some snacks out. You’re not particularly hungry, though you wouldn’t mind eating and you’re sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind either.

Your train of thought is of course interrupted by the man himself and he wraps his arms around you from behind, pushing you into the counter. One might say that Jungkook is being clingy, but you know this is how he shows his affections. Through physical touch more than anything else. And you quite like it, you like the reassurance of his body close to yours. It’s what you’ve always wanted and never known that you needed.

“Missed you,” He breathes into your hair. Even if he’s been with you for the last few hours… You understand him. It feels like you’re both making up for lost time. For time that you could’ve spent together, rather than apart.

“Me too,” You murmur, “Can you take this to the couch, honey? I’ll bring the glasses and the wine.”

Jungkook hums and kisses your temple, squeezing your ass before heeding your soft demand. You sit next to him, thighs touching, and pour out a glass for both of you to enjoy. You lean against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his bicep and turn the television on. But neither of you are really paying attention.

“Hey,” Jungkook murmurs, “I had a good time tonight, baby.”

“Don’t I know it,” You say smugly, “It’s not everyday a pretty girl takes you out for din-” He cuts your words off by pulling you into his lap, somehow not spilling even a single drop of wine in the movement. You would’ve killed him if even a hint of a wine stain appeared on your velvet couch.

You press your hand into his shoulder, the hint of his tattoo and the glint of his piercing catching your eye. You swirl your glass of wine with your other hand. “What a precarious position to be in,” You say dryly, even grinding your hips into his playfully. He gives you a look, and stills your movements with one hand on your waist. Jungkook sets his glass on the coffee table behind you and cradles your neck, pulling you down for a sharp kiss. It’s almost desperate and needy, nothing like his kisses from before.

You slip your tongue into his honeyed mouth, tasting seeds of his desperation with your tongue. But then, you remember your wine glass and pull away from his lips with a lewd smack to reach behind you and place it on the coffee table as well.

“So pretty,” Jungkook moans, pushing the straps of your dress to the side and dotting your shoulders in wine-stained kisses, “Pretty girl, my pretty baby-”

You tilt his cheek towards you for a kiss, whining into his mouth at his praise. It shoots down your spine in a delicious hum and his hands roaming the expanse of your back makes you feel warm and powerful.

The way your hips move in time with his, the way you fit into the crevices of his thighs and his chest- he just wants to give you everything. He wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Jungkook will give you everything, if you let him.

“And what about you?” You rasp with swollen lips and wild eyes when you finally pull away. You press your fingers into the exposed, inky part of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned for your eyes. “You look so fucking good all the time, but-but I told you to dress slutty and you did this for me, huh? You did this for me, bunny?”

Jungkook’s cock jumps in his tight pants and his throat goes dry. Your eyes are devious, filled with mischief and sin and he gives himself to you fully and wholly.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods eagerly, “Yeah, I wanted to look nice for you, baby.”

“A-and your hair,” You mumble, feeling a little lovesick, “I love it, I love it, I love it-I just wanna- wanna make you feel good. Can I do that, bunny? Make you feel good?”

Jungkook nods with wide, doe eyes, wondering how the tables were turned so quickly.

“Take me to my bedroom,” You demand softly. The glasses of wine and snacks on the tray are left forgotten as Jungkook easily scoops you up in his arms. Even with your lips soft and slow against his neck, he somehow makes it to your bed.

It’s definitely not the first time you’ve had Jungkook in your bed (or that you’ve been in his bed). It’s not the first time you’ve peeled his shirt off meticulously and licked your way down his chest, to unbutton his tight pants. It’s not the first time he’s seen you on your knees on your bed (to alleviate the strain on your knees if you were on the floor).

By now, the shock of your impatience has worn off. Jungkook frequently reminds you to slow down, that you both have nowhere to be except with each other.

It looks like his pants are glued to his legs, and while you can appreciate the visual, you want to appreciate the real thing. You groan in frustration and Jungkook does the work for you, pushing the offending fabric away and breathing a sigh of relief. You crawl closer to him, nails featherlight against his taut thighs.

He’s golden, his body taut and spilling with swirls of color in the divots of his muscles. Your mouth waters.

But Jungkook moves your hands away when you start inching closer, wanting to palm his cock. He joins you on the bed, pushing your back to the bed and hiking the skirt of your dress up to your hips. His hands are tight and warm and welcome on your hips, a flare of desire shooting down your spine and straight to your pussy. You buck your hips up towards him with a pout but he only squeezes.

“What did I tell you,” Jungkook murmurs, swatting your thigh lightly.

“You’ll have to remind me,” You breathe.

“Told you to slow down, baby,” Jungkook says, letting his fingers trail up your thighs and slip under your panties. His hand is warm in contrast to the rings on his fingers. They do little to cool your skin, though. “Impatient girl.”

“You say that like a bad thing-”

“And you talk so fucking much,” Jungkook drawls, hovering over you and dropping his weight on top of you, nudging your cheek to kiss you. You reach upwards to thread your hands through his hair but he’s quick, so much quicker than you. Jungkook pins your wrists with just one hand, and the mere action, the mere display of strength has you sighing and your pussy fluttering.

“Lift your hips,” Jungkook says thickly, and you do so immediately. It’s easy for him to pull your black lace panties off to the side. But before he does so he gives you a small smile of approval, knowing that you wore them specifically for him to see.

“I really do love this dress, baby,” He says, “Makes your tits and your ass look amazing.”

“Take it off, then. And see the goods up close,” You say, wiggling against his grip.

“I will,” Jungkook says lazily, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Without a single warning, he lifts you up easily into his lap. Your bare pussy brushes against his bare cock deliciously, your hips moving of their own accord. He stills you again, and carefully unzips your dress and pulls it off of you. His fingers on you are soft but firm, leaving your head spinning and hazy.

You haven’t even had his cock yet, and you’re about ready to combust. Jungkook pushes you on the bed, your tits bouncing with the force of your back hitting the mattress and hovers over you. You pull at his hair a little impatiently and he groans, the sound reverberating across the walls only to ring in your head. You want to hear it again, and again and again.

“Jungkook,” You whine, “Please, bunny, do something. Look at me, look at my pussy, come clean me up-”

“So needy,” Jungkook murmurs and ignores you in favor of kissing your tits, rubbing your nipples with his fingers, “‘M needy for you too, baby.”

“You’re so hard, so big,” You babble, “Please, want your cock, baby.”

Impatient. Jungkook kisses your chest, your belly, your hips and makes you cum on his tongue twice (while you tear up and cry a little bit, gripping his purple locks fiercely and holding onto his shoulder) before letting you stroke his cock. You’re about to push him on his back to blow him with determined eyes, but he stops you.

It appears he’s impatient too, and he wants to see you cream his cock before cumming all over your tits (which has become his favorite place to).

“Jungkook,” You breathe sharply, “There, baby, right there-” You cut yourself off with a groan, stilling your hips and pushing his face into your chest. Jungkook’s groans are muffled against your tits, but you feel the wetness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue over your nipples.

“Shit,” You mumble, “Feels so good-”

“So pretty, baby,” Jungkook coos, pulling away from your tits to look up at you with lust in his eyes, “I’m yours, all yours-”

You groan, bouncing on his cock even harder as a flare of possessiveness flashes across your belly. “Move back,” You say softly, “Lay down. I’m gonna ride you so good, baby.”

Jungkook barely has a chance to catch his breath before your nails are on his chest, trying to hold yourself steady as you push yourself down onto his cock, pulling a deep moan of your name from his lips. His hands are tight on your hips, watching with wide eyes- he doesn’t know where to look, what to do.

He squeezes when one of your hands drifts over his and rests on top of his hand.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Jungkook mumbles, “Whatever you want baby, I’m yours-”

“You talk so much,” You say hoarsely, with a wicked smile, “It’s cute.” Your free hand floats upward, resting loosely at the base of his neck. His chain is cold against his heated skin but all he can focus on is the glide of your hand over his neck.

His cock twitches inside you and your smile widens. “Is this okay?” You whisper, “This okay, bunny?”

“Harder,” Jungkook groans, “Fuck, harder, baby.”

“Like this?” You ask innocently, closing your hand around the sensitive spots of his neck. His pretty eyes flutter as he nods, a quiet moan slipping out into the air.

“You’re pretty like this,” You say softly, “Shit, you’re pretty like this…”

He lets out a choked laugh at that. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his hastily. Jungkook thrusts upward, hips meeting your ass but your hand doesn’t leave his neck. Not just yet. You breathe into his mouth, allowing him to swallow your soft whimpers.

You wet your lips with a loud smack and cradle his cheek gently. Jungkook is mesmerized by the heat in your eyes, smoldering and burning through his skin. You let your fingers glide over your clit, gathering wetness and before Jungkook can ask what you're doing-

“Open,” You mumble hoarsely, “Open, bunny.”

Pushing a finger past his chapped lips, you gasp at the sight of him below you with your fingers in his mouth.

You could cum just from watching him. His tongue swirls over your finger before sucking lightly with a pretty flush covering his cheeks. Your eyes widen, another gasp brushing over his cheeks.

“Fuck,” You mumble dreamily, “You’re so good, bunny.”

Your body is burning, jaw slack and the feeling of Jungkook’s bare cock inside of you almost too much to handle. It was wildly irresponsible- he wasn’t wearing a condom and you weren’t on birth control, and it was a conversation for later. But you can’t think, not when it feels this good, not when you’ve had a taste of his cock in this way. Besides, he always pulls out just in time. But still, you both should know better.

“Oh, Jungkook,” You whine, “‘m close, I’m so fucking close, make me cum, bunny-”

“Baby,” Jungkook rasps, “My pretty baby looks so good on my cock like this. My smart, kind, b-beautiful girl, my angel-”

Tears prick your eyes- it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed like this. You tug your hands away and thread your fingers through his, dipping your head for a kiss.

“You like that, angel? You like being mine?” Jungkook murmurs, slowing your hips so he can take over. But he knows you’re close.

“Only yours,” You mumble. Jungkook pulls you into his chest swiftly and flips you so that you’re on your back. He places your legs over his shoulders and brackets your head with his forearms, his necklace just above your nose and his hair tickling your face. But you're mesmerized by the determination and adoration in his eyes.

“Jungkook,” You murmur brokenly, “O-oh, y-yeah, baby, there, mmmf-” You squeeze his biceps with a gasp, watching his face closely. Pushing his hair behind his ears, you cradle his cheek and pull him down for a sweet, long kiss.

His fingers dance across your thighs and rub your clit in slow circles and murmuring soft words of praise in your ear. You’re vaguely aware that your body erupts in a tidal wave of flames, warming you from inside out. You don’t hear anything except for your cries of his name, you don’t see anything but him through your blurry eyes.

“Baby,” Jungkook says through clenched teeth, “O-open your mouth, baby. Fuck, baby, this pussy- I’m gonna cum, baby, fuck-”

You open your mouth with hooded eyes and your tongue lolling out and Jungkook pulls out of you abruptly with a series of curses. He’s not fast enough to get all of his cum in your mouth, some of it landing on your cheek. You swallow his cum with a dopey smile and open your arms for him to bury his face in your tits.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook says breathlessly, rolling off of you and pulling you into his side, “This pussy’s gonna be the death of me. Where’d you learn to ride dick like that, huh?”

“I’ll never tell,” You mumble, “Gimme a kiss.”

And so he does, tasting himself on your lips. He kisses you nice and slow, just how you both like after a night like this. Eventually he cleans you up and you do the same for him.

Under the covers with only the shared warmth between your sheets to keep you company, you rest your head on Jungkook’s bicep and look up at him. Your fingers continue tracing patterns on his chest, tracing the swirls and curves of ink as they appear.

Jungkook dips his head to nudge your nose and you softly laugh as his hair falls into your face. “What are you thinking about, baby?” He murmurs, lazily draping an arm over you. By now, you’ve realized that Jungkook is possibly the most vulnerable with you in moments like this. When you’re both bare and basking in a post-sex haze.

That’s not to say that he’s not vulnerable at other times. But it’s just different like this.

You take his hand and thread your fingers through his. His fingers are bare, as you had taken his rings off and they’re currently sitting in your jewelry dish on your dresser.

“We just,” You murmur, “We spent so long being apart. When we should’ve been together. All because I…”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly but gently, “Don’t do that. You’re where you’re supposed to be. We’re where we’re supposed to be.”

“But we wasted so much time not being together because of me,” You mumble forlornly, feeling your throat getting a little dry, “Because I listened to Sora and didn’t-”

“Oh, baby,” Jungkook says, pulling you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, “That’s not true at all. We’re together now, and we both had some growing to do. That’s what matters.”

“Okay,” You reply in a strained voice. You don’t quite sound like you believe him, and Jungkook makes a mental note of that. “Do you feel like… we have lost time to make up for?”

“Do you feel like that?” Jungkook counters, making your heart skip a beat, “Because I don’t. I know it’s hard, baby, but you can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s in the past, baby. Forgive yourself. There’s nothing to race against, it’s just me and you.”

“I’ll try,” You say a little meekly. Jungkook nods and pulls you in for a soft kiss, one that has your toes curling and your belly flipping. He shifts so that you’re tucked into his side, surrounded by him and his hands on your skin. He kisses you until your previous thoughts don’t feel so loud in your head, he whispers to you and pulls sweet laughs from your throat until you can detach from the strange cloud that had suddenly appeared.

He’s your safe place.

*********

MoM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ULTRAANONYMOUSEY @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[bookwyrminspiration]

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

[minus-starcatcher-beyond]

Ok this blog is gonna be more active soon but!! I have a lot of ideas that I am unable to keep inside of my brain so here’s some characters that will get MSc designs in the near future!!

Mouse.AVI, Cuz he’s been requested before- he might actually come on the blog at some point once I make him! The idea I’ve had is that he’s this mischievous teenager who likes doing graffiti a lot. He always has spray cans on him and stuff. And yes, he and Oswald are still brothers! But after getting glitched and everything he’d probably be a little messed up from that experience, I’d imagine. He hasn’t been through nearly as much as his original counterpart though, but that may be subject to change…

Ron, Little Man, and Bob, but specifically the Power Hour versions of them. The icons look rlly cool and that is the only reason why. Oh and also my partner made versions of em and they were really neat too and was kinda inspired by that- im getting evil sludge abomination vibes not gonna lie so thats probably what im gonna go off of for them. But they wont be on the blog. Unless you want them to be in which case I will immediately cave in and add them

dang I had some other ideas but I completely forgot all of them. Oh well hahah

[saigonharrington]

boyfriend // g.w angsty one shot

I would like to say hi to my 30 followers I love you so freaking much thanks (and sorry) for following me 🧡 and to all my non-followers thank you for reading my story

It would be nice if you guys could reblog my works, it helps me grow and motivates me so much

By the way, it’s the angstiest one shot I have ever written so before you can ask, I can assure you that I will make a part two ( there will be link to it if it will be posted) because I don’t want to leave your relationship with George like that

My last one shot was for non gryffindor readers so this one’s for you gryffindorks

George Weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

The year when the Yule ball was held

Warnings: swearing and different swear words, cheating, mentions of cheating, crying, some unkind words about slytherin (im so sorry guys really I love you)

Word count: 2k I think

angst angst and once more angst

also I did it in 2nd person (I wrote it in 1st and then changed it so sorry if there are mistakes) because I read on someone’s blog that you prefer it like that ❤️

———————

The Triwizard tournament despite being a dangerous experience had some perks. Maybe not for me, but for some, the Yule Ball was the hot topic all the time. Boys were freaking out because they didn’t know if the girl they’d planned to ask will say yes, while girls were comparing their dresses and talked about crushes they developed to have. Everything was a mess, even teachers seemed to talk only about the night that the ball is held.

And here you were, not going.

“Honestly, Y/N, even though Adrian doesn’t want to go, does not mean that you should spend this night alone. You can always join our group.” Angelina spoke to you, seeing your upset face. You were sitting in the dormitory, girls were putting their dresses and make-up on, trying not to mess up their hairstyles.

“You’re going with Fred, each one of you has a pair, I don’t want to interrupt.” You explained.

“Don’t be silly, we’re going as friends and nothing more. And I bet everyone would agree with us that you should go, for once thinking about yourself. I’m sure Pucey won’t mind. Although he’s sick, that doesn’t mean you should babysit him or sit all damn night here without a soul to talk to.” Alicia encouraged you.

“I’m not sure. It’s too late to start preparing. I don’t even want to go, dancing isn’t my thing. And all that stuff that makes this night official, it’s so stressful.” You are a good friend, right? It isn’t your night, tonight is only about them. You don’t want to third wheel anyone.

“You know we can help you. Boys can wait 30 minutes longer. And think about it, you’re not the only one who’s going without a pair. George, Katie, and Lee are going alone. Also, Harry and Ron set up with Patil twins, these girls will leave them after ten minutes, because boys do not match their personalities, I tell you. Believe it or not, maybe 30 percent of people will be at the ball with the one they fancy. It’s about fun, not significant others. Some younger students are also attending this ball, you can’t tell me that you resign because of your boyfriend. He wouldn’t feel betrayed just for the reason that you’ll show up to the dance where are teenagers, or frankly speaking - children. You’re going with us.” Alicia ranted, sick of your excuses.

“And I agree with Alicia. No time to mope around. What could be wrong with spending time with your favorite people? We’re gonna dance until our knees become weak, and then we’ll be eating til’ our tummies can’t take more. Also, can you imagine those Durmstrang boys in suits? You can’t say no to them. Bet they look freaking good and every one of them will want to dance with a girl like you. Now get your butt here, someone’s got to help you with make-up. Alicia can you do her hair then?” Angelina got excited and made you sit in front of her to have your make-up done.

“But what will you wear?” Spinnet asked when she finished her job.

“Actually, my mom sent me a dress, which I keep deep in my closet because I knew I won’t go…” You whispered.

“Shut up! And you didn’t tell us?” Angelina exclaimed. “Now it would be extremely dumb not to go. This dress can’t be wasted, put it on!”

You did as they wished, putting on the clothes. You didn’t have the right shoes, so you decided to wear casual black sneakers.

“You look amazing, Y/N” “Yeah, Adrian would’ve been sad if he knew how fine you look tonight.” Girls complimented you. “I bet our friends are waiting in the common room. We should go.”

Lee, Katie, George, Fred, and Alicia’s partner sat by the fireplace talking about something.

“You’re finally here!” Katie shouted smiling wide. “And Y/N! I’m so happy that you’re going. Your dress is phenomenal.” She squealed.

“It’s their fault.” You pointed at Angelina and Alicia. “They persuaded me.”

“That’s good! It’s going to be our night, and you’ll have fun despite Pucey’s absence. I can’t wait!” If Katie could fly, she would do it right now.

“Confidence looks good on you.” George interjected, walking closer to you. You were friends for a couple of years. He was always by your side, along with his twin, but You never bonded with Fred that well as with his younger copy. You got through so much together, that only made your friendship stronger. Frankly speaking, You were quite happy that he was going alone. Since your boyfriend didn’t go at all, You wanted to have someone to talk to.

“Thank you, Georgie. Do you think it would be alright if I tried to check up on Adrian? I’m worried about him and I don’t want to seem selfish.” You changed the subject.

“You know that it’s hard to get to a different gender’s dorm. Not to mention that it’s the slytherin boy’s dorm.”

“I won’t go then. But please try not to joke about slytherins this night. It’s my boyfriend’s house therefore it hurts me a little.”

“Whatever you want.” He didn’t seem to worry, but You were completely serious. His pranks sometimes went too far. Adrian didn’t care bout them, while you personally found them inappropriate. You love George, he’s your best friend, but his hate towards slytherin house and all the members drove you mad. You thought that people are done with stereotypes and generalizing.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked you, seeing that you do not pay attention to what’s happening.

“Nothing important. Let’s head to the table.” You replied, intertwining your hands, taking empty seats next to Fred and Angelina.

“You know guys, we’re gonna dance first, we’ll come to eat later.” Alicia took her partner’s hand and dived into a crowd on the dance floor.

As time went by, Angelina and Fred disappeared as well, showing their moves as if they were taking part in some kind of competition. The next thing You knew is that you and George were left alone by the table because even Katie and Lee were in the mood for a party.

“It would be lame if we stayed there and eat all night. If you will?” George asked for your hand, and you joined your group on the floor. Everything was great, You wanted to thank the girls for making you go, but before You had a chance, a slow song started playing, and people divided into pairs, leaving you and George next to each other.

“You know, I might go check on Adrian, I’m sure he doesn’t want to sit in the dorm all night, and maybe we could talk for a bit.” You panicked, seeing a couple of slytherins looking at you as if they wanted to kill you for spending time with the Weasley. To be honest, You felt uncomfortable with it and you didn’t want to seem careless.

“Just one dance, please? Then you can go.” George pleased.

“Georgie?” You asked, while resting yout head on his arm. “These people are staring, and it makes me very anxious.”

“Maybe we should give them the show that they’re asking for.” George replied and before You could think about a response, he kissed you in your mouth. If felt so strange, yet so good. His lips were so soft, his big hands on your waist were holding you tightly, warm feeling entered your body. You returned the kiss, forgetting about the whole world and people around you, who probably glanced at you, but you couldn’t care until it hit you.

“George, I’ve got a boyfriend.” You almost cried, knowing that now You cheated on Adrian and the whole hall witnessed this.

“And yet you kissed me back.” He smirked, not worrying about it as much as you did.

“I should tell him the truth.” You said to yourself, exiting the ballroom, running in panic to Slytherin’s common room.

“No, Y/N, wait!” George shouted. “I wanted to do it for so freaking long. And you showed me that you might feel the same way about me, you can’t just walk out of the Great Hall and leave me alone. I deserve explanation.”

To say you were furious would be an understatement. How could he make this about him, when clearly You were in worse situation.

“George shut up for a moment! Can’t you see what I did? I let you kiss me, returning it. Don’t you know what people will gossip about? Me. Only me and my bad actions, because t’s always the girl’s fault. I do have to tell him before he finds out from someone else. You have to understand me and for once, give me some time. We’ll talk later, I promise.”

“But I love you. I love you since our second year, and now that I showed my affection and had the courage to make the first move, you’re leaving me. You’re always talking about Adrian. It makes me sick. How can you be with someone like him? He’s bad, like most of the Slytherins plus you must be blind not to see the way he treats you. He’s always so mean, doesn’t like to hold hands with you, does not understand your jokes. But I do. I’m always with you and for you. I’m the one who wipes your tears after he does something stupid, I’m the one who’s wanting the best for you. I’m really fucking mad that you’re with him. I should be your damn boyfriend who can hold your hand forever and will never let go, who will kiss you so passionately until you lose your breath. And I wouldn’t cheat on you as he does. I couldn’t help myself. When we danced, you looked so fucking perfect. You always look like that. And Pucey cheated on you, at least twice. I saw it with my eyes, I swear. I thought about it all the time, wanting to punch his face so bad that his own mother wouldn’t recognize him. No one cheats on a girl like you, Y/N. No one should ever cheat. He managed to do it more than once and I hate him for that.” He admitted, not noticing that You were already crying. “But you know what? If it makes you feel better, you can go to him. I know he’s not sick, he’s sitting with one of his girls, avoiding you, and no doubt, he’s doing more than kissing her. You can see it for yourself if you don’t believe me.” He almost shouted.

“Fine! I will! Even if it’s true, it wasn’t the right time to kiss me in front of that many people! I’m going to be called a whore and no one will protect me, because they saw what we did. It’s not going to be your fault, but I’m blaming you. Because you said no one should ever cheat. And what you did, was the exact opposite. If all boys are like that, then I’m fucking done.” You exclaimed, leaving him outside the common room.

You tried to control my tears, yet you lost your control while you heard weird noises from your boyfriend’s dorm.

“I was so damn stupid that I believed you! Do what you want, asshole, I’m not your girlfriend anymore. As if it mattered anytime.” You screamed, being pissed off at him, yourself, and George. Because his words were true, and you didn’t notice it earlier. You felt so fucking stupid.

You ran through the empty corridors, trying to focus on finding the shortest way to your dorm room. You passed by some couples kissing, but they did not saw you. Or they didn’t want to. You tried not to stare at them too, being in the worst mood you ever could be.

“Do not say a thing Weasley. I want to be alone.” You spoke, seeing George waiting outside your common room, and before the boy could reply, you disappeared at the door.

please reblog and comment because I want to interact with you and the more people are enjoying the story the sooner I’ll write the second part 😊

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

More than a memory

Sorry if this is formatted really horriblly I finished this up on mobile I hope you like this there’s about 2 paragraphs I cut of ruby nerding out

Once they got to Vacuo oscar was sorta unofficially a huntsman now laws are a lot looser here so he’s been saving quite a bit of money from going on missions after team rwby and Jaune came back it was weird they were only gone a month but so much had changed the merge was almost finished he could feel it every day he felt less like himself he didn’t even object when Theodore called him oz anymore he and ruby weren’t as close anymore whatever happened wherever they were changed her he got bits and pieces from Jaune and yang but the others kept quiet he knew that he’d be gone soon so he wanted to leave something for her kinda like proof that they ever met in the first place so he was now standing in a vacuan market at 12 am alone with a lot of lien on him this was probably a bad idea but at one point he heard ruby ramble about this gun shop that they were the best at what they do so he called made an appointment it just so happens they prefer to see let’s just say unofficial clients at night he knocked at the door it read “bikal bullets” it opened and an old owl faunas man opens it his large yellow eyes are piercing “hello mister pine headmaster theodore told me to expect you” oscar rubs his hands together “yes mister bikal he said to come late” mr Bikal leads him inside on the walls hang dozens of expensive weapons “so mr pine what are you looking for” oscar took the blue prints out of his bag and set them down on the drawing table “um im looking for something custom built its for a friend” mr bikal takes the blue prints and examines them “these are pretty impressive mr pine did you draft these yourself theses yourself” oscar nods “mostly i had a little help with the math part of it but the mechanical stuff i did myself” mr bikal nods “something like this will cost a good amount even with the discount you get for being school staff” oscar nods “do you have an estimate on the price and how long it'll take to make” mr bikal snaps his teeth “around 12000 lien and 2 weeks” oscar nods he had 140000 saved up but he did want to buy some more things for the others “alright i can uh i can afford that” mr bikal goes over to what looks like a drawing table and pins them up “i will start work immediately mr pine you make your payment on completion if you desire the school has credit with me the price includes 3 magazines and a case so that will also be custom made shall you pick it up or would you prefer its delivered” oscar stands uncomfortably as mr bikal starts measuring out pieces of fine metal “ill pick it up dont worry” mr bikal nods and says “alright mister pine your can go now its not a good look for a young man to be out so late especially so close to the red light district” oscars face gets red “yes of course” oscar leaves and walks back to the academy sneaking back into his dorm room was easy tho nora did pester him about where hed been he had left a note saying when he would be back for the next 2 weeks he kept a poker face nora helped him set up his bank account so the sudden spending of 12000 lien did give her pause so she decided to ask him about it

He was sitting on his bed reading some Treatise about some long-forgotten subject she knocked on the bedpost and he looks up “hey Nora did you need something” she sat at the end of his bed “hey what did you spend 12 thousand lien on” he hides his face “please don’t tell anyone it was on something for ruby” she smiles “ah young love I was worried that you wouldn’t make your move so what kind of thing sets you back 12 thousand it’s something big right” he nods his head “its a gun i-i had it commissioned for and it’s not really cause I’m trying to make a move or anything it’s more like a going away gift” Nora frowns and shakes his leg “where you going taking a vacation or something” he feels tears bite the edge of his eyes “Nora the merge it’s soon I know it won’t be long until I’m gone and I want you all to remember me but her especially I don’t want to be just a memory” he struggles to keep the tears at bay but nora pulls him into a hug tighter but somehow softer than her usual ones “hey you will never ever be just a memory you will always be you and even if your not you'll always be one of us we all love you so much” and then the damn breaks and he sobs into her shoulder “i don't wanna go away nora i want to live i wanna go to school see my aunt again” she rubs his back and says “i know sweetie you'll get to do all that ok i promise” he sniffles “nora i need you to do something for me if i do disappear ok i need you to go back to my aunt and tell her everything ok it can't be oz ok don't tell her how to find him it won't make sense i'll just hurt worse i dont want that for her” she nods “i won't ever have to do that ok but i promise” she holds him until he stops crying and they take a a a nap they always helped him calm down

Finally, after a long 2 weeks, he goes to pick it up when he goes inside Mr. Baikal shows him the box it’s a beautiful dark red mahogany wood he opens the case and looks at the pistol inside its silvered handle and barrel were beautiful he’s almost afraid to touch it the engravings were perfect exactly as he had drawn them if not better the moon and rose he had designed look perfect he takes it gently in his hands he looks down the sights the night sights glow a brilliant carmine red he looks at the magazine even it was of an amazing quality everything down to the smallest detail was exactly as he pictured it he sets it back into the case “thank you, mister, Bikal it's absolutely perfect” Mr. Bikal smiles and nods “I’m glad everything is to your satisfaction Mr pine if you find there is anything wrong with it or you want something changed everything I make comes with a lifetime warranty the paperwork is in the case as well as a certificate stating that I am in fact its builder” they shake hands and oscar takes it home in his bag he excitedly gets back to his dorm he sets it down still in his bag on his bed now all he have to do is give it to her

He sits on it for a few days but finally decides to just give it to her oz has his reservations about this but decided that oscar deserves this to maybe say goodbye in his own way

Ruby was going on walks around shade it’s something he noticed so he waited for her to go on one of those walks it was cool in vacuo at night the air was nice compared to the oppressive heat of the day she was meandering along the walkways he followed behind her a bit the case hung heavy in his bag even tho it wasn’t heavy at all after a while she sits at an old wooden bench overlooking the gardens he approaches and she perks up “oh hey oscar are you going somewhere” she says pointing to his bag he shakes his head “do you mind if I sit” she shakes her head “no go-ahead did you need to talk, something about Theodore?” he sits down on the other side of the bench gently setting his bag between them “no uh no I just uh I wanted to give you something” he opens his bag and takes the case out holding it out to her she takes it “it’s not my birthday is it this looks really nice you didn't have to do this” ruby says smiling “well i've been wanting to do something nice for you” oscar says rubbing the back of his neck she lifts the top and gasp gently lifting it from its case “oscar this is this is amazing” she drops the magazine and pulls the slide back making sure its clear and runs her hand along the engraving her symbol etched into the left side of the grip “oh thanks i uh actually designed it myself oz helped me with the math” she looks at him her eyes wide “oscar it took me 8 attempts to successfully design a functioning crescent rose gun design is really hard how long did you spend on this” oscar blushes “the idea kinda started in atlas i was gonna ask you to help me make one so i wouldn't have to rely on my cane but everything happen and when you were gone i kept messing with the idea and i kept thinking about you so i kinda ended up designing it for you more than me eventually do you like it” ruby scoffs “oscar do i like it i love it its probably the single greatest gift anyones ever given me” he smiles wide “really that makes me really happy I was worried you wouldn’t like it” she sets it back gently into its case “really Oscar it’s amazing you have a knack for design your gonna have to show me the draft notes and everything cause this is this is amazing I can’t wait to shoot it this is wow” she chokes up and he leans down “ruby are you ok” she nods wiping her face of nonexistent tears “no worries this is just really cool and sweet and god your so amazing” he felt his heart flutter and his cheeks heat up “the guy who built it that bikal guy you talked about was just as great as you always said” she puts a hand on his shoulder “are you telling me Hephaestus bikal made this Oscar” she says seriously “uh yeah why is that bad” she kisses his cheek and squeals “oh my god your amazing this is now even better god I could die happy wait his rates are insane how did you afford this” still recoiling from the kiss he bites his lip “uh huntsmen work” she narrows her eyes “how much did this cost Oscar it had to be expensive” he shakes his head “not telling it’s a gift you don’t need to worry about it just enjoy it” she punches his arm “I will but I am going to repay you for this somehow ok” “you already did” he says quietly he says rubbing the back of his neck “ruby I don’t really know how long I have left and I would like to spend at least some of it with you I understand if you don’t I know it might make it harder when I’m gone bu-whoa” he’s pulled into a hug she pulls his head into her shoulder and holds him tight “I wanna spend more time with you too but you will always be Oscar ok oz is oz you are you” he sighs and smiles “see what I mean by paying me back”

[sunbeams-and-honey]

hi im new to astrology and i just wanted to know what does it mean/how it affects me and my future if i have sun, mercury, venus all in gemini 10th house, moon in aquarius 6th house, virgo rising and also pisces mars in 6th house. thank youuu.

Hi darling! Thanks for the question.

Your combination of a Gemini Sun and an Aquarius Moon makes you a very captivating person. You're someone who can definitely trust in your intuition and you also benefit from a witty foresight. You are absolutely capable of improving yourself and making positive changes for yourself. You're intellectually energetic, which means that you can go on for ages with any activity involving your mind, such as writing or solving puzzles. You have a deep need to express your individuality as much as you can, as well as being stimulated at all times. You are more or less terrified of being bored. You are so busy so much of the time that boredom seems to affect you more intensely as you're not used to staying still and relaxing. You really enjoy and benefit from finding new ways of looking at and thinking about something, and also from establishing connections between different things. It's really satisfying for you when something finally clicks in your mind.

Your Sun is in the 10th House, which means that you work hard in order to achieve your goals and to also reach a certain status. You are excited by the idea of having power, but make sure that this desire does not make you cruel. You might want to be famous at some point in your life but you want to live an honourable and dignified life while doing so. That being said, you may be prone to getting into scandals if you're not careful. You want to be in charge where possible and you aren't afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. If you were to be put into a position of leadership then you'd know exactly what you'd be getting into. You're very determined to make a name for yourself and to be a good role model to others. You're likely to have a good reputation.

You have your Moon in the 6th House, which makes you someone who is obsessed with being healthy and organised at all times. A lot of your emotional satisfaction and stability depends on how hard you work, which can be a problem if you don't work as hard as you think you should. You have to understand that you have limits and you're allowed to relax without having to work for it. You are caring and emotional, and very empathetic. You get very stressed when you can't be of any help to anyone else. You may be prone to have physical pain when going through emotional distress or pain. You tend to feel very energetic and alive when there is nothing worrying you and when everything is going your way.

Your Gemini Mercury means you have great social skills. You are charming and eloquent in your speech. You are a quick thinker decision-maker. You always have something interesting to say so people always want to talk to you. You may find that you're the one carrying the conversation a lot of the time. You have the tendency to exaggerate sometimes. People are fascinated by your intelligence and knowledge. You know a bit about everything. You're constantly thinking about more than one thing at a time and because of this, you can forget about very important things every now and then, such as birthdays or anniversaries.

Your Mercury is in the 10th House, which makes you very good at solving problems under pressure. You're not one to back down from a challenge just because everyone else does. In your personal life, there will be a huge emphasis on self-improvement and general achievements. You highly value your goals in life and you are a natural communicator and public speaker. Even if you're shy, you have a great way with words, which leave a huge and lasting impact on those around you. You're very articulate. Your career is very important to you. You don't see it as merely a job, it's something with which you put effort into and care about.

You have your Venus in Gemini, which means you are very talkative and witty, especially when with your friends. You are very skilled with your words. You may love deep and complex subjects such as philosophy and once you find someone who shares this appreciation, then there will be no one stopping you from discussing it at all hours of the day and night. You are skilled with mediating conflicts and settling arguments before they become too big and destructive, and this is largely down to your persuasive skills. You need someone who appreciates and, to an extent, shares your intelligence and thirst for knowledge. You are very transformative, most likely going through many important changes throughout your life.

Your 10th House Venus makes you someone who wants to make a valuable contribution to the world. You want to change things for the better and will do everything in your power to make that happen. You want to make the world a brighter place too, spreading love and positivity wherever you go. You'll probably make a good career out of one of your hobbies. You might be the type of person to have an Etsy shop. You like being the centre of attention because you want to be appreciated for the things you have done. Some people can see you as pretentious because you want the nicer things in life and because you surround yourself with influential people. They don't realise though that you do this to keep as many doors open as possible when it comes to opportunities.

All of this means you have a Gemini stellium, which means you really embody Gemini qualities, more so than your average Gemini Sun. You are quick to both crack a joke and to put the pieces together and solve a problem. You are probably the life of the party. You have a great ability to relate to anyone, which is something that really helps other people. You may find that others often turn to you for comfort and support because they feel seen and heard by you. People can struggle to keep up with you at times albeit entertained by the stories you have to tell. You always have something interesting to say.

This also means you have a 10th House stellium, which makes you someone who loves their independence. You're not one to typically listen to authority figures unless you absolutely must. You might benefit from working for yourself one day rather than for somebody else. You are ambitious and not one to mess around once you get down to something. You may have had some kind of issues with a parent, or someone you viewed as a parental figure, at some point in your life. You know the best path to success, and are hellbent on staying on that path.

I've already gone over what it's like to have a Virgo Rising! You can find the post here.

Your Mars is in Pisces means that you are the kind of person to fight for your dreams. You are a walking contradiction, both sensitive and powerful, though perhaps it is your sensitivity itself that makes you powerful. You prefer to go with the flow rather than planning for the future or being in control. You want and expect things in your life to just happen naturally. Even if you are a hardworking person, you don't expect all your hard work to just go to waste. You want to get something from it. This can make you confident enough to go after your goals and dreams, but it can also lead you to getting easily disappointed.

You have your Mars in the 6th House, which makes you someone who is prepared to work incredibly hard for your dreams and goals. You love helping other people, but you have to watch out for people who use this kindness of yours and exploit it. Remember you can say no. You are productive, efficient, and almost always ready to work. You rarely ever seem to get tired so you do run the risk of burning out because you work so hard. You have the tendency to become impatient and irritable when other people do things in a different way to you. You have an amazing capacity to pick yourself up after failure or mistakes.

Words Of Advice:

Learn to relax more, maybe even meditate!

You need to learn how to balance your work life and your personal life.

Try to depend less on validation from others.

Maybe choose an area to specialise in rather than knowing a bit about everything and not properly committing to something.

Be more open to new experiences.

You don't need to take on every single challenge thrown at you.

Try changing your ways of doing things every now and then.

Remember to slow down every now and then.

You don't have to be working 24/7.

Pay more attention to your friendships.

Be mindful of who you spill your secrets to.

Try to keep your expectations realistic.

Thanks for the question darling and I hope this helped! Sending good vibes your way and have a wonderful rest of your day!

[pizzaboat]

So I've seen alot of people give their theory's and opinions on what's going to happen to Lilith in season 2 of the owl house, whether or not she's forgiven, where she's going to stay and how she'll act I guess, and the major thing being if she's redeemed or how redeemed she is.

I'm just going to throw my own thoughts out there and say that obviously there's still alot to do with her character. I also have no intention of bashing her character, I actually enjoy when she's on screen. I do like her but she's still problematic. So buckle up this is a long one.

To get my thoughts straight I'll break what I have to say down into parts, cause I get distracted easily.

First up im going to say I think she is far from redeemed. My impression of her is that she regrets cursing her sister, but she also finds some sort of sick pride in it too, as shown in agony of a witch when she screams " then why were you so easy to curse!?".

She also has no problem hurting literal children to get what she wants either, but that's another issue I'll discuse.

Lilith seems to resent her younger sister to an extreme, unhealthy degree. I could sit here and theorise about her child-hood and teen years wondering what could have created such insecurities in her, but im not going to. That is irrelevant to the point im trying to make. What's important to keep in mind though is that she was "perfect prissy Lilith"- the covention growing up, Eda was good at almost everything, and that Lilith cursed Eda to secure a spot in the emperors coven when Lilith was 18-19 and Eda was 16-17.

Is she redeemed ?

No i don't think she is even half way there. She cursed Eda in her sleep to win a fight. Lied for over thirty years to Eda about that curse. Mocked Eda for the symptoms of a curse she put on her "Why don't you go home and rest wouldn't want you breaking hip"- sense and insensitivity . she kidnapped Luz to use her against her sister, used Luz as a human meat shield in her and Eda's battle during agony of a witch, was generally quite rude to Luz when she wasn't dangling her over a pit of spikes, and also SPIKES.

Taking on half of a curse she put on her sister in the first place doesn't begin to cover the trauma and pain she's caused in the name of healing her sister, enforcing the emperors laws and joining said emperors coven.

I would also like to point out that she had a way to elevate her sisters pain all this time but she didn't. I've seen arguments like she trusted the emperor to heal her sister but I can already point out so many things wrong with that.

even if she did trust him, no normal person could sit by and watch any family member they claim to care about suffer, if she trusted the emperor so much she would have split the curse sooner, (providing Eda would have let her of course) and had him heal her or Eda both.

But she didn't do that she lied to her sister for years, partly because she was scared of losing Eda and also Eda's reaction which was, and would always be unbridalled rage. but also to an extent it suited her, it suited her to be the successful sibling, the sibling doing things "right" Lilith seems to be as I said before extremely insecure, and I think that just going off the episodes she was in and the impression the show puts forward.

If what I've noticed is correct, Lilith has spent her life in her sisters shadow, bullied in school as revealed in the end of something ventured something framed, nobody took her seriously due to her appearance and probably being a late bloomer in a lot of ways. She would have jumped at the chance to be given the same respect that Eda and other talented witches or well off, higher up witches recieved.

In other words the emperors coven fed Liliths' battered ego, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to let that go, but in the context of what has happened and the fact she seemed to still try and stick with the emperors coven before Belos sent her to be executed along with eda and king.

She isn't redeemed, she probably doesn't see much wrong with how she's behaved up until now(besides cursing Eda) and there's still alot of work for her to do. She only split half the curse because her expulsion from the coven forced her to address a mistake she made for once.

Season 2 and maybe more seasons looks like where she'll be earning her redemption. Hopefully she'll be forced to face more of her flaws and short comings and work on them.

Will she be forgiven?

Lilith from what has been shown has hurt;

Eda Luz, King, Amity, Willow and Gus. They all have different reasons to be hostile towards her.

Eda

She cursed Eda and almost subjected her to a faith worse than death, lied to her, mocked her. Kidnapped her apprentice and almost got Luz killed a number of times,using her as a sheild. She dragged Luz into the whole messed up rivalry. I don't think Eda will forgive her emediatly, after all, even if she can forgive Lilith for what she did to her, she would also have to forgive her for what she did to Luz.

She essentially kidnapped Edas' surrogate daughter, Eda was much angrier about Luz's suffering than her own "you hurt luz, you cursed me. before anything turns me to stone I'm going to tear you apart!" - young blood, old souls

Yeah Eda was fit to murder her sister, taking some of the curse probably only got rid of her homicidal desire towards Lilith, thats it.

Luz

I've seen some people make fan content in which Luz immediately forgives Lilith or comes round eventually to her when Lilith acts nice around the house.

That seems super out of character for Luz, sure Luz is characterised to be kind and sweet but if the final proves anything its that she has a ruthless streak that comes out when she tries to protect the people she loves, her family. Lilith has threatened the people she cares about. I don't see Luz letting that slide, and she would probably still be on guard. Luz may have accepted her help in young blood old souls, but that was only because she wanted to save Eda she told Lilith she didn't like her "whole deal" and she meant it.

Lilith would have to prove she's really changed for the better for luz to begin to for give her.

King

I like the idea of King and Lilith becoming friends simply for comedy perposes, if King were to forgive her and I think he'd be one of the closest to it out of the main characters.

They'd be a force of sheer stupidity and ego they'd be bad and good for each other, King weirdly enough would be more emotionally mature since he's learned things like you can't be posesive over people in really small problems it's a lesson Lilith needs to learn since she seems to resent Luz to an extent, thinking Luz was taking her sister from her "Edalyn is with her family, her real family. Go back to your world human this one is ours" - agony of a witch

Of course before this she needs to also earn his forgiveness, he wasn't there for agony of a witch but he did experience the fear and worry of losing eda in young blood, old souls the only person he had up until then was Eda " King and I, we don't have much in this world. we only have each other"- A lying witch and a Warden. Lilith helping rescue Eda might have helped improve his opinion of her, but Lilith would have to get over herself first to begin her redemption.

Hooty

I don't think Hooty would hold a grudge, mostly because he's comic relief and weird. Since I personally think no one in the owl house would be bothering with her, and I see her being forced to live In the shed. I think Hooty would be her only company and I think it would be unexpected and really funny if he's the first person/bird thing to open her eyes to her awful behaviour. You gotta start somewhere and Hooty is it.

Amity, Gus and Willow

I think Gus and Willow will be stand-offish until Luz and King forgive Lilith.

Once Lilith has developed more as a person she owes Amity an apology for how she behaved as a teacher. Amity would be mad after the covention episode, but almost killing her crush would make her protective of Luz, and wary of her in general.

Conclusion

Lilith hasn't been redeemed in my opinion, there's still alot of growth she needs to go through, she's made alot of terrible mistakes and decisions, its what makes her so interesting. I like her but she's a sh*t person, but she can learn to be less of a sh*t person.

I'm aware this is a kids show and she probably won't get all this development or she could get different character development and that would be awesome, its just my thoughts and opinions and I'm really excited for season 2.

[pavlovs-drug]

I would love to read about BPD Boxman..... haha, jk....... unless? 👉👈😳

hey anon? thank you for being a blessing. i am going to write this for you.

note before we begin: i am prof diagnosed with BPD. this isnt fetishization or self diagnosis and im not ‘armchair diagnosing’ either- im just pointing out symptoms i have that boxman also has! im also not using like a resource for this so some of my info might be wrong- feel free to correct me if i mess up! :)

basically i can start by breaking down stuff that boxman does that i also do. namely the black/white thinking (splitting) that bpd is sort of known for as well as abandonment issues, miscalculation of the closeness of relationships, erratic/impulsive behavior and attention seeking. some examples: the splitting: this is actually the easiest for me to show because it’s really obvious when its done. i think the best example of this is in lad and logic, when hes fixating on destroying the plaza he refuses to listen to reason, and swears off friendship entirely when he feels like hes been ‘betrayed’ by mr logic. often when people with bpd split they see things as strongly good/bad without anything in between, and in this case it would be ‘the plaza’ as bad and anything to do with it is enough for him to cut ties entirely with mr logic (not talking to him until thank you for watching the show, years later!) - also often, when people with bpd feel theyre being ‘abandoned’ they lash out and cut ties with the person first! there’s also lesser examples like how he can switch on a dime with how hes feeling about someone (namely the bots) and idolization (venomous) - not that either of those immediately indicates a bad relationship, i dont want that to be what people get out of this; boxman loves his kids and his husband, its just convenient that his kids are also technically immortal.

abandonment issues: again super easy for me to show. because its made really obvious! when presented with the notion that venomous was going to cut off their business partnership in we’re captured, but changed his mind, boxman reacts as follows:

“You… still… want my robots? You still…want me?”

this is actually something i’ve probably said line for line in real life lol. im sure there’s more examples too, but another one i can think about it is very early on in the series, in the second episode! this is more subjective though. there’s a scene where boxman is taunting KO, and i always thought what he said specifically was interesting.

“They found out you came here, K.O., and they're clearly seething with rage at having to waste their time rescuing a nuisance like you. “

i’ve always read this, and the lines that come after, of boxman projecting his own fears and experiences onto him. again, very subjective.

miscalculation of closeness: were getting into EVEN MORE subjective territory here so bare with me! when i said miscalculation of closeness i mean thinking that a relationship is closer than what it actually is. this can easily be shown when boxman hugs venomous at the door in we’re captured, despite only being business partners, and when he tries to hold dr.blight’s hand in the power is yours. (dr.blight also uses boxman’s emotions to easily manipulate him - thankfully venomous does not do this.)

erratic/impulsive behavior + attention seeking: i think this one is pretty much self explanatory, and there’s even an entire episode about it (stop attacking the plaza)! boxman has a lot of issues with self control, acting reckless and doing things without thinking of the consequences (and then feeling guilty afterwards) - another good example is boxman crashes, where he just sort of shows up at venomous’ place and wrecks it, and then feels guilty and makes it up to him by making that trike for fink :) he’s also really bad with money which ties into the impulsivity (and also is a very common trait in people with bpd)

anyways thank you for reading my absolute mess of a post. if anyone wants to add onto this i’d really enjoy seeing what you guys have to say!!! :D

[zmayadw]

Hello, hello!

Time to continue. I’ll post 2 parts again, so lets begin..

First one :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 11        

Jessy came to Aurora shortly after, finding Phil and me sitting in the booth laughing and chatting. „You two are awfully cheerful.“ She said nearing us. „Hey Jessy“ i chimed back cheerfully „Well, Phil is a good company, how not to be cheerful.“ Phil grinned at her, wich made her look both of us skeptical „Yeah, yeah, if you say so.“ „Aww, sys,  dont be so cruel.“ He teased her. She made a face at him, turning to me „You ready? Im starving!“ „Ready“ i told her, taking my stuff and getting up. „Cya, Phil, thanks for everything.“ I said, smiling at him. „No worries, Maya, glad we talked. Dont be a stranger.“ He said, winking at me as he got up and went towards the bar. „What was that all about?“ Jessy asked as we left the Aurora. „Oh, nothing really.“ I replied, wich made her look at me with doubt. I quickly tried to change the subject „So, where are you taking me for lunch?“ i asked, grabing her under her arm. „I tought some junk food is what we need after last nigh, hamburgers and fries might be a good choice.“ She grined. „I totally agree.“ We walked to the hamburger place, wich wasnt far from Aurora. We sat at one of the tables, and ordered some food. As we waited for it, she told  me how Dan managed to wake up just before she left, begging her to drive his car back, and bring him some food. „He can really drive me crazy sometimes!“ she told me. „Aww, c'mon, thats why you like him.“ I teased, and she laughed. Our food arrived, and we started eating. After a while, i finaly told her, between my bites „I saw Jake last night.“ Jessy almost spat her drink. „What?“ she almost screamed „What? Where? Talk!“ I told her all about it, from the hoodie part, to where i left him standing. When i was done i added desperately „I messed up everything again, Jessy. I didnt hear him out, i was just so tired and frustrated.“ I sighed tiredly „Why is it always so hard with him?“ i paused before i said, sadness creeping in my voice „I just dont know how much more i can go on like this.“ Jessy looked at me, sympathy and care all over her face „I know, Maya. Its hard sometimes, God only knows how much.“ She started „Im just gonna say one thing. Just be totally sure you tried everything there is to get to the bottom of things with him, to be on the clear, once and for all.“ She paused before continuing „I can see how much it pains you, and i see you really care for Jake.“ „I do, Jessy, more then you can imagine. But im tired, so tired of constant fights with him, and not getting anywhere.“ „I know. And i really hope you will resolve it soon.“ She looked at me, giving me a reasuring smile „In the mean time, you can talk to me whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.“ I smiled „Thanks, Jessy. I really appriciate it, you have no idea how much it means to me. Im really greatful to have you in my life.“ She looked at me, took my hand and squeezed it „Im here for whatever.“ We continued with our food. When we wer nearly done, she oredered some food to take for Dan, and when it was done, we payed and left. As we walked back to the Auroras parking, Jessy asked me, all serious „Maya, what's going on with you and Phil?“ I looked at her „Aghh, its complicated.“ She stoped walking, and i did the same „Dont get me wrong, its non of my business“ she started „But to be honest, i've never seen Phil act like this, towards anyone. I think he's really into you, and, well, with all thats happening with Jake..“ „Dont worry, Jessy“ i said „I actually had a long conversation with Phil about all this earlier.“ She looked surprised „He knows  about Jake?“ „Not exactly. I didnt mention Jake per se, but he knows something is happening.“ I paused before continuing „I like Phil, Jessy, and he knows it. But we came to a mutual understnding about it all, so noone could get hurt in any of this mess.“ She continued walking „Aright, thats good. He is a jerk sometimes, but he's my brother, and i do wish him well.“ „I know, Jessy, and trust me, i dont want for anyone to get hurt here. I hope all will get in the clear soon.“ „I hope so too, Maya“ she said, as we came to Dans car „I really hope so, for both your sake, and the others.“ She gave me a tight hug, before entering the car, and smiled „Im here if you need me.“ „Thanks , Jessy, same here.“ She started the car, honking as she drow off , me waving her as i entered my car. Driving to the motel i tought about all that Jessy told me. I hoped she was right, and things will get clear soon. I really was torn inside. I had some decisions to make, and not an easy ones. And i was scared.

When i got back to the motel i realized i left everything in such a mess, and decided to clean it. I collected the sutff  thrown all over the floor. I grabed Jakes hoodie, burrying my face again in it and taking a deep breath. Damn, i tought, i wish i could talk to him, i need to know what will be with us. If there even is a possibilty of 'us'. And all that was going on with Phil was making me confused. My phone rang then, and i quickly put the hoodie on me before answering it. I checked the caller, it showed no number.. Could it be Jake? Then again, why would he hide his number? I answered the call „Hello?“ but there wasnt any replie. I said 'hello' few more times, before whoever was on the other side ended the call. Strange,i  tought, but decided to ignore it, someone probably just dialed the wrong number. I continued with cleaning, realizing i should get some laundrey done. I saw a self-service laundrey in town, i should wisit it tomorrow. When i was done, i decided to try and do some work. I sat at the table, opening my laptop, putting some music on. It always helped me while working, and this time wasnt any different. At some point, i checked my phone ,it was past midnight. Nice, i managed to finish on the project i took, without any interruption. I closed the laptop and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As i got to bed, i thought of Jake again. I hoped we would talk soon, i meant what i said to Jessy earlier, i really didnt know how much more i can go on like this. I sighed, closed my eyes, wishing sleep comes fast.

           When i woke up i felt quite rested. Even tho my mind was a complete mess, i had a good night sleep. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed. I took the laundrey, grabed the car keys and my purse and headed for town. I parked near the self-service laundry place and took the stuff from the car. Putting the laundrey to be washed, i decided to go for coffe while it wasnt finished. I left the laundrey place, and walked to the coffee shop near by. I sat at the table outside, and ordered myself a big coffee and a toasted sandwich, might as well get some breakfast since im here. I took my phone out checking for some more work and found few interesting ones. Some alone time just working might be what i need now. I checked the news feeds and mail while drinking coffe. Jessy called at some point, telling she will be going to her sister for a few days, apologizing for leaving me on my own. I told her not to be silly, that i'd be working mostly eitherway, so she felt a bit less guilty about it. She promised we'll meet as soon as she's back, wich i acceptet cheerfuly. I was done with coffee so i paid and left. I collected my laundrey, deciding to get some stuff from the store before heading back to the motel, so not to do unnecessary trips to towns center every little while working. When i was done, i got all the stuff and headed back to the motel. I putted the stuff away, and clean laundrey in the closet. I went out of the room to get some ice from the machine by the entrance to the motels office. When i got back, i poured a drink ��and took my phone. There was a missed call on it, and the number was hidden. Again? What the heck, i tought. Work was calling, so i dismissed it from my toughts, and focused them on working instead. I worked till late again, before deciding i had enouhg, chrasing to bed.

The next day i spent most of it working. I stopped only to eat and drink something in peace, and i took a short walk to stretch my legs a bit. I took a shower before going to bed, luling my self to sleep with some movie on the tv.

On the next morning, after i got up, i decided to quickly go to town for some fresh coffee. I drove to town, stoping at the caffee and getting myself the biggest 'coffee to go' they had, heading back to the motel. I got back to working, but was interupted by my phone ringing after a while. I checked the phone, and smiled when i saw who the caller was. „Well, if it isnt my favorite barkeep!“ i cheerfully said in my phone. „Hello gorgeous.“ Phil answered me. „Where you hiding at?“ he asked. „Oh, im at the motel. Working my ass off.“ I told him. „I'v been lazy with it lately, so it's taking its tol on me now.“ „Aww, sorry to hear that.“ He said „But, even so, you need to take a break. Bring that pretty ass of yours to Aurora tomorrow night, we'r having a party!“ he said cheerfully, and before i could even start to protest „And i'm not taking a 'no' for an answer here!“ „Aww, c'mon Phil, thats not fair.“ i started teasingly „You took all the fun out of it! I'm good at protesting!“ He laughed „I bet you are. So, see you tomorrow?“ „Ofcourse.“ I said, adding „Hey, Phil, whats the party for, by the way?“ „Oh, right, i keep forgeting you're not from around here.“ He said. „And i tought Jessy might already told you.“ „Nop, she didnt tell me anything, and since she is with your sister, we havent really spoken much these last few days.“ „Ahh, i see.“ He said „Well, in that case, it's the Aurora's opening day anniversary, and its pretty packed for that night,with drinks being cheeper. So be sure to come early, i'll save you a seat at the bar.“ „Thanks, Phil. I'll bring myself and my pretty ass then.“ I said teasingly „Thats the spirit!“ He chimed. „Alrighty“ i said. „See you tomorrow, then.“ „Cant wait.“ He said „Laters, Maya.“ That migt be fun, i tought. And if im lucky, i might finish with work by tomorrow morning, so some fun would be like a reward for it. I continued working, and was happy that i actually finished before i tought i would.I  checked the time. It was almost 3 in the morning! Ohh, guess i would sleep till late again tomorrow. And i didnt mind. The work was done, i had nowhere to rush, some sleep will do me good. I crushed to bed, burrying myself under the covers, sleep coming almost instantly at me.