#might as well properly post it too

[serpentface]

Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[brittlebutch]

i kind of hate to say it because i feel like i'll get pushback for it,,, but i kind of feel like if you're going to be making informational posts about autism online you do need to be reading actual autism research and literature. at least some of the times. like you can't just make things up and then present them as fact.

[sannyo-appreciation-posts]

Sannyo's Flowers

You occasionally see art of Sannyo with flowers:

The reason for this is not only that Sannyo Komakusa is named after the Komakusa flower, but also that she named and themed her Spellcards after Japanese mountain flowers.

Mountain Sign "Heaven-Shaking Kumomagusa" / Mountain Apparition "Astonishing Kumomagusa" (depending on difficulty)

Mountain Sign "Usuyukisou Shining with Bewitching Light" / Mountain Apparition "Usuyukisou of Thronging Crowds of Youma" (depending on difficulty)

And of course, her namesake

Mountain Flower "Komakusa of Massacre" / Mountain Flower "Mountain Queen of Massacre" ( depending on difficulty)

Even her nonSpells resemble flowers.

Its extremely cute that instead of modeling them after smoke, or gambling, she chose some of her favorite mountain flowers. She has very unique tastes, especially the Usuyukisou which aren't quite conventionally beautiful but they definitely look like lasers with sunlight shining off of them. Though they certainly have their charm shining in the sunlight.

She actually has a few flowers in her den in Lotus Eaters as well.

After Mizutaki released the script for a bunch of Lotus Eaters. Including LE29 and 30, it was revealed that both her dragon divider and flowers were part of ZUN'S script, making Sannyo's flowers primary canon!

We aren't likely to be seeing them in Lotus Eaters again since Sannyo can only keep them on the mountain, but it's really great we got to see them when we did. It's nice knowing she canonicaly takes care of some in addition to modeling her Spellcards after them.

Also last but not least, the Title Lotus Eaters gave her was.

a very appropriate, and poetic title for her; and it explains why she loves tough mountain flowers so much. she's a bit of a mountain flower herself after all.

[riisume]

Shoutout to my goated homies for helping me out with a fun and easy activity that'll help me draw a little today ;v;

[galacticlamps]

I'm going to uno reverse card you and say: for the fic guessing game, 'light'?

lol that's fair

apparently I talk about light a lot (go figure) so have this one that happens to be in the middle of its story's 'Oh' moment:

But perhaps, somewhere along the line, Jamie had slipped, and now . . . well now, standing on the balcony of a palace on another planet, with the Doctor dipping his head nearer just to hide his eyes from the light - nearer, and not farther, which would've been just as easy - no, now he had to admit something was different. When it had changed or whether it hadn't at all and he'd simply been too fool to realize it before he couldn't say, and it didn't matter anyway - he knew it now, and that scared him.

-

And just for kicks, under the cut I'm gonna put a longer excerpt from a totally different fic that came up while I was ctrl+f-ing 'light' in my wips - mainly because it happens to be part of a scene from a longish 'the Doctor & Jamie reunite with Zoe in 6b' story which is nowhere near completion, but feels relevant given the boxset Big Finish released last week (not that I've gotten a chance to listen to it yet, but still).

Zoe sat across from Jamie, her elbows on the table, her chin resting atop her hands - but she wasn't relaxed. She stared at him intently, and actually narrowed her eyes as he watched.

"What?" he asked, already defensive, and following through on an old self-conscious instinct, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. With no mirror in sight, he looked to the Doctor to check if he'd somehow gotten something on his face already, but he looked just as baffled. Zoe hadn't broken her concentration yet.

"I'm trying to figure out if I'm older than you," she announced, still deep in thought.

"Ah--" the Doctor began, grinning wickedly, but whether he was going to answer her or merely tease they never found out, because Jamie shot an arm out lightning quick, as if to hold him back.

"No' so fast, you. Let the girl work it out."

He finished chewing and settled himself squarely in front of her for inspection. She continued to stare. "Y'know, I'm surprised you're having such trouble telling," he taunted. "After all, how old are you now?"

She opened her mouth at first to protest that she was under no obligation to announce her own age while he continued to keep his secret, but she still thought she might figure it out - and if she couldn't, she at least had the Doctor to rely on to make Jamie tell the truth.

So she shrugged. "I'm 41. But everyone here thinks I'm 39. I was born 39 years ago, of course, but counting chronologically from the time I left the Wheel with you in the Tardis, I aged two years before the Time Lords returned me to my own time. That was twenty-one years ago, now," she added, unable to judge if the faint waver of wistfulness in her voice was truly audible, or if it was just her own imagination. Thankfully, neither of them pressed her on it.

"Well, y'see, Zoe," Jamie began slowly, still chewing his last mouthful after she finished her explanation and sat waiting calmly for his reply. The Doctor leaned forward too, seemingly intrigued, though it must only have been to see what answer Jamie would try. "I was born in 1724," he paused and washed down his food with a swig from his glass, and for a moment Zoe had the grace to assume he was just working through his calculations, as she had done. "So I'm pretty sure I'm older than you," he finished, setting the glass back down on the table triumphantly.

All at once she felt a young girl again, a devilish light in her eyes. She wanted to jump across the table and tackle him - but that wasn't what Madam Presidents did. "Why, you--"

"They don't traditionally swear at their guests either, Ms. Heriot."

She turned on the Doctor, shocked. "You read my mind," she began, more impressed than accusatory, but he did at least have the decency to look sheepish.

He coughed politely. "Only to, ah, verify your math. And I'm sure you could feel my presence there, if you think about it."

"I could but I didn't know that's what it was. You've gotten so much better at it."

"Had to," he said simply, and shrugged, his eyes downcast.

Well, there was more to that, clearly, she thought, filing his deliberately nonchalant expression away for closer inspection later - but for now she was not about to be deterred. She snapped her eyes and her attention both back to Jamie.

"Still, we both know the Doctor obviously continues to value honesty and accuracy, so surely he'll tell me how old you are, even if you won't."

"Not if I ask him not to - right, Doctor?"

"Well . . . " he began, noncommittally drawing the word out so long that Zoe actually had time to wonder what his plan was for once he ran out of vowel. Jamie looked so genuinely horrified it was downright comical, and she had to force herself not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"We're married, Doctor," he reminded him, indignant.

"Oh, but it's Zoe," he complained, sounding every bit the petulant child she remembered he could be, all those years ago. "And as far as I can remember, none of the ceremonies we ever partook in had anything in the vows about obeying. Although I might be wrong . . ." he added under his breath, scratching his head.

"Charming," Jamie grumbled.

"Well, when we've had as many weddings as we have it can be quite a lot to keep straight in your head. You know, I sometimes wonder if we might qualify for some kind of an all-time record. If we hadn't the need to be covert about so many of them, of course."

"Stop that!" she snapped, and the Doctor turned back to her, the picture of confused innocence.

"Stop what?"

"You're trying to help him without helping him, just by distracting me. Naturally, I want to hear everything about all these weddings of yours, and I will see to it that you'll be having another one while you're here, like it or not--"

"Yes ma'am," Jamie quipped, mock-serious.

"--But first, I am going to find out how old you are, James Robert McCrimmon, and if you force me to use your husband to do it, then that decision is on you."

Jamie mopped his face with his napkin and came out of it smiling. He stretched and dropped an arm around the Doctor's shoulders, perfectly relaxed. Already, Zoe felt her heart sink, but she was careful to keep her composure.

"I'm only pullin' your leg. I'm 44."

"What, really? And you expect me to just believe that?" She raised an eyebrow in challenge but then glanced at the Doctor to confirm, and when he nodded she allowed her facade to crumble, rolling her eyes. Of course she had known when she'd first laid eyes on them that they'd be cutting it close, but Jamie still had quite a bit of that boyishness about him that had made it frustrating enough being his junior the first time around, and she really thought she might genuinely have enjoyed being just a hair older than him, for a change. After all, if you had to be ripped apart from your family and sent to separate timezones to live out your lives forever wishing for an improbable reunion, it might as well be good for something. But Jamie was far too smug looking now to be pretending, and Zoe knew it. "Oh, some people have all the luck," she groaned, dropping her arms and collapsing back dejectedly against her seat.

"Aye," Jamie said, leaning in over the table to follow her, "and some people live 22 years on Earth before they meet a time traveler, then spend 5 years with him before his people erase their memory and send them home to live another 5 before he's allowed to come pick them up again, and then force the pair of 'em to've spent 12 years so far working for them. Some people, eh?" he finished hotly, swiping his glass off the table again and raising it to his mouth in one fluid motion to take a long drink. But even so, his face was not so totally obscured from view that Zoe couldn't make out the amused curl at the corner of his lips, and when she caught his gaze again the glimmer in his eye was all fondness, just as it was with Doctor's and, she knew, her own.

Yes, no matter the circumstances, it was certainly good to see them again.

[honeydots]

If I can ask another one ‘you’re not alone. i’m staying right here.’ and Xanlow

"You're not alone. I'm staying right here." 1.4k, xanlow from this ask game

Xander had a business trip that was taking him across the country, way up by the northern sea and among the black rocks, freezing winds, and terrible storms. It’s meant to last months, and Inigo’s bendable when it comes to location, so—he decided to go along with.

This afternoon, Inigo’s sitting on one of the rocky beaches, solidly far from the cold ocean. The air is nice and salty, he’s got a thick blanket to sit on, and he’s only been rained on a tiny bit. He has a much wider view of the sea from the apartment they’re renting, but he was getting lonely inside. So now he’s lonely outside.

Xander’s at work right now, much deeper into the still-unfamiliar city that’s strikingly more gray than Windmire’s black. And Inigo, just a short while ago, got back from a dance class he found nearby. He’d like to say he’s going to a rehearsal tonight, but… Well, he’s between jobs.

He doesn’t really have connections in this part of Nohr. It was a struggle to get them for a while in Windmire, and he made the poor assumption that because he already went through that once, he wouldn’t again. Inigo’s been beating himself up for not asking around more to see if there were any friends-of-friends around here when he had the chance. Anxiety and freelancing unfortunately do not go hand-in-hand.

He hasn’t been completely jobless, but he’s certainly not busy at the moment. It’s harder to get a shoe in for contracts and auditions when he’s relatively unknown. And even if he’s been socializing in his classes to try and make some meaningful connections, so is everyone else, and Inigo is really great at flubbing things up.

Xander keeps telling him not to feel guilty—it’s always a possibility to be without work for a while with a job like this, and Xander makes more than enough to keep them afloat. But it’s hard to help it. Inigo was hoping he’d have gotten into a groove by now, yet he very much hasn’t, and it’s hard not to feel guilty using Xander’s money for his own things.

Not that moping by the sea is improving his situation whatsoever. But it’s pretty, it smells nice. And if nothing else is lovely in this gray city, at least the gray ocean has a charm. He doesn’t get to see it often.

Inigo’s outside longer than he realizes, because he gets a text from Xander asking where he is. He’s probably home, then—whoops. He tells him he’s by the ocean side, and asks if he should come back, but Xander doesn’t reply. So Inigo stays put, sitting quietly on his blanket, until he hears footsteps from behind.

Expectedly, it’s Xander. “You found me,” Inigo says lightly, scooting over a bit to make room. Xander sits down next to him, still in his stuffy work clothes, and he kisses Inigo’s temple lightly.

“You weren’t too hard to spot.” Which is fair, since Inigo’s like, the only person out here. It’s cold today—and Xander’s nice and warm, so Inigo certainly doesn’t mind the company. He leans into him, eyes still on the ocean, loneliness drifting away for a while.

“How was work?” Inigo asks. He’s still surprised it’s gotten so late. He’s not usually the sit-still-and -close-your-mouth type, but he’s feeling awfully sluggish today. So perhaps that’s why.

Xander sighs. “Fine,” he says. “Work.”

“Ah, yeah. At least you’re done now.” Xander’s work clothes are also gray, sometimes black, and sometimes Inigo gets him to wear a colorful tie. But he’ll always have a shock of blond that keeps him standing out. Inigo’s just the opposite, hair gray and dull, but he likes to wear blues and greens and whites. Sometimes purple, too, because his mother likes it most.

Xander puts his arm not quite around Inigo, but sets it down behind him so it crosses over his back. “How did your class go?”

Inigo shrugs. “Good, it was good. Pretty fun today, we worked on new stuff.” He inhales, then slumps. “I, uh. I’m kind of sort of making some friends?” It’s hard to be a socialite when the one tactic he had is completely off the board, now. Getting married kind of kills the flirting game. Not that he always got the best results with that, anyway.

Xander hums. He leans into Laslow, too. “I’m glad it’s coming along.”

“Ah, that’s a good term for it.”

A cold and slightly wet wind comes by, and they both shiver. Even if you can’t see the sun in Nohr, the nights are still colder than the days, and the evening is rolling in without a second thought. It was already chilly, but it’s getting chilly chilly.

“What are you doing out here?” Xander asks, and Inigo chews on his cheek. There’s why is he out here, and why has been out here for so long, which are two different questions with two different answers.

And despite what he asked, Xander’s probably looking for the latter. “I… Just got lost thinking, for a while,” he says. He looks down at his knees, covered by soft blue sweats and not doing a great job at keeping the cold out. “Wishing I’d get a call back, or something.”

Xander does put his arm around Inigo now, rubbing his arm gently. It warms him up a bit, and Inigo goes on. “There's this terrible feel of… Isolation, that I've got. Like—if you and I weren’t doing this together, what would I be doing? Living in a hovel and eating stale bread, workless as I’ve been?” He huffs, and cuddles into himself. “I hate having nothing to do.”

Xander scowls, in a very cute way that involves his lips scrunching a bit as his eyebrows lower. “You aren’t alone, there’s no point in giving what-ifs attention,” he says. “I’m here, I don’t mind. Take your time.”

“I know, I know,” Inigo says with a pout. “And I’d rather you here than not. It’s just—boring. And depressing. And you work for entirely too long, I get lonely.” That being, Xander works a respectable nine-to-five which he’ll only sometimes come back late from, since Inigo pesters him immensely otherwise.

Xander gives a small and considerate looking grin. "Maybe I'll try harder to beat the traffic next time," he says, which is nice. “Do you have plans for tomorrow yet?”

Inigo’s classes are every other day with a three-day weekend, so when a fraction of his time isn’t taken up by that, he’s sort of left open ended. Not that Xander doesn't work tomorrow, though, so he can't count on his company until later.

“I might go to the gym?” Inigo says, since he’d much rather be ready than not if he does end up getting a proper contract. “And, uh—if we need anything, I could go shopping, too.” Xander thinks for a moment, and so does Inigo—and then he completely hangs his head. “I feel like—like, I’m all washed up. Don’t I sound washed up? Am I still young enough to say I’m not old enough for this? ”

And Xander does not seem to appreciate the comment. “You aren’t washed up,” he says firmly, then frowns. “You were doing fine in Windmire.”

“But I feel like I am, and that makes all the difference.” Inigo throws out an arm, like he’s presenting himself. “Look at me. Sitting dramatically by an ocean, on a dark cloudy day, getting rained on—”

“Is it raining?” Xander says, interrupting Inigo’s self-deprecating rant and glancing up to the sky.

Inigo lets it go pretty seamlessly. “Oh, it has been. Only a little.”

Xander looks similarly unamused. “We’re going back inside,” he decides, and starts standing, leaving Inigo quite cold and alone.

“What? Nooo,” he says, since he was slightly enjoying the miserable feel. “I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

Xander extends a hand to Inigo. “You’ll get yourself sick.”

Inigo just looks at his hand for a moment. And then he frowns, and takes it, and as he’s pulled to his feet he grumbles, “I won’t get sick.”

“You will,” Xander says, meaning Laslow didn’t mumble his grumble enough. “And then you’ll sulk around the apartment feeling useless all day.”

Laslow snatches up his blanket from the rocks. “I do that anyway.”

They start walking back together. Xander looks pretty cold in just his button up, so maybe it’s better they do. It’ll only be getting colder, after all.

And Inigo guesses—even if he’s feeling guilty and washed up, and even if he’s antsy all day and anxious all night—

It’s pretty nice to have somebody who’ll take care of you, too.

[desiredcrescent]

contemplatin and havin thoughts. do i giggle and talk abt a super protagonist flavour text aspects i project onto my guys. Do i discuss this on my blog?? Is is ok to???

[l48yr1nth]

Hi. Just wanted to say I really like your art. The way you use shapes is truly amazing and I love every art piece that comes up on my dash. :).

I AM. GOING. TO CRY.!

thank you and i love you and ur awesome and . i love you. :) :) :3

[septimus-heap]

Wait hang on. In magyk marcia says

“I had just passed my final exams and I’d gone over to see Alther to thank him. Well, soon after I arrived a messenger rushed in to tell him that the Queen had given birth to a baby girl. We were so pleased—it meant that the heir to the Castle had at last arrived.”

So like. Did she even graduate. Like we get told there's a portrait of her in her apprenticeship graduation gown (??????) but did that ever happen bc this makes it sound like it couldn't have

[arolesbianism]

Ok did some fact checking and yeah unless I missed smth outside of Wendy, Walter is the character who refers to Abigail by name the most! Which is absolutely delightful news for me, the number one Abigail Walter besties believer

[real-life-cloud]

trying to convince my dad to adopt this sweetie on our porch.......

[exisntidonot]

So I was googling old tv shows I used to watch, procrastinating on my homework, and guess what show popped into my head, after not seeing it for a very, very, very long time?

The haunting hour.

I only remember that show because it used to be on YTV, at like, 10-11 o'clock at night, and I would watch it. I was really obsessed with the show, even though I barely understood what was going on.

And the nightmares. I used to get really, really bad nightmares after I watched the show, and after like 3 months of me watching it, and getting nightmares of it, my mom enforced a screen-time limit, mainly for shows after 9:00.

And I remember that show so damn much, mainly because of the body horror stuff, and how freaked out I was over it.

Anyways, one of my most vivid memories of the show was this one about this kid who was obsessed with ancient egypt stuff gets frickin. sucked back into time to be essentially another person's body or something??

And I googled it I googled rl stine show ancient egypt and I finally found the name of it. I'm gonna watch that episode, and get me a bit of nostogia

[the-archer-anon]

Oh, another one.

At least he can do what he likes with this blog

No lore needed.

. . . Ok fine maybe a little lore.

But nothing more than just a nudge here and there.

((OOC EDIT SORRY IF I DISAPPEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A RP I EITHER FELL ASLEEP OR PANICKED AND AM TAKING FOREVER TO COME UP WITH A RESPONSE))

[canid-carnival]

Selfship art?? On my otherkin focused side-blog?? More likely than u think. Anyways I think I most definitely am sick. So I made this to make myself feel better. It’s of me (the small crying one) and my oc Rain (the large one with the white spot) I haven’t shown Rain on here before (and have only showed them Once on my main) but they’re my fav character Ever so who cares.

Tldr: gay shapeshifters

[unproduciblesmackdown]

payoff of being embedded in a unit of authoritarianism since birth is sure then being able to go like "wow this is just like dynamics & phenomena i experienced up close & personal, repeatedly, in many contexts & configurations in my first two decades of life" plus also beyond that in abuse culture world & the noncoincidence that even interactions beyond the confines of the home(tm) reinforced / did not contradict the hierarchy & concomitant abuse within....but then like hey yeah also the Larger Units of hierarchy & abuse / authoritarianism (ft. their logics & practices necessary for continuously & continually shoring up that hierarchy) can also make it like hey yeah the Two Parent abusive nuclear family more like the Two Party [the US is also a one party state but in typical american extravagance they have two] where right wingness is defined by the degree of directly embracing white supremacy & "left wing" is "anything else" hence like wow The Left is always infighting (everyone with any ideas besides "umm christofascist white ethnostate?" so like yeah there are many other ideas) vs The Right's admirable cohesion (simply re: the white supremacy idea which also necessarily embraces all other Out Group / Nonperson paradigms & practices b/c that's what all already has been necessary for shoring up the [when has the US been a nongenocidal non white supremacist non oligarchy])

like obviously individual experiences & contexts vary but like narrowing in on [the Family as immediate relations ideally cordoned off into nuclear households] ft. [Parental Authority the top priority of which is preserving that authority, ideally patriarchal, an abusive mother e.g.? hey, that ought to be the father] times it's like, think people tend to struggle re: having the "nicer" / "safer" parent who was also shitted on as well but also at the end of the day would always side with the "meaner" "more dangerous" parent, even in whatever terms most sympathetic to the abused parties, with the underlying logic that we're always just going to have to deal with them so some secret strategic mitigation is the best that can be done, perhaps the equivalent of being sent a ":(" after an Onslaught Of Expressed / Enforced Authority(tm) event....the tendency to see the best in any lack of actual intervention / protection on the assumption That Could Never Happen Anyway & forever At Least that the one parent isn't as bad as the other [the Not That Bad / Could've Been Worse infocation, like free bingo square in manifestations of minimization if not outright abuse denial] & all the sympathy for, you know, being human & doing their best(tm) &c which sure might all be true but the abused parties (oft children, more vulnerable than adults, by virtue of being children i.e. considered legal property of some specific adults & theoretical property of any adults in general (the paternal logic in any "protect [xyz]" like maintain one group's supposed ownership / control over [xyz] "for their sake" then? great) & also generally smaller & newer at being alive in this world) but who are liable to not extend that sympathy to themselves (or certainly not be extended that sympathy....when is "they're doing their best / they're only human / they mean well or whatever / they love you, they're family" successfully deployed the Thwart an abusive parent like it is to tell an abused child to not be too resentful of this situation, when is it actually deployed toward the abusive parent at all really. & again in the lack of boundary between the authoritarianism within many individual family households & that of the state they exist in (here re: the US) like that naturally one encounters the logic of abuse expressed just as "common knowledge" & the Assumptions of other people, e.g. the rejection of a parent having zero access to a child, the reinforcement of automatic apologia deployed for whatever a parent could possibly do, argued for "family", yet not deployed the same way to automatically defend anything thee child(tm) could do, thinking emoji lol....see: like the non boundary between [the Patriarchal home/family(tm)] & capitalism when uh oh capitalism the system of continuously maximizing exploitation Needs various forms of labor to be unpaid, uh oh another lack of boundary when white supremacy is used to also shore up the patriarchy that shores up the white supremacy, e.g. that even if in some "inferior" class it's treated as More Important that at least you're not that And black, the theoretical ideal/normal white man is a person while a white woman is a woman while a black woman is black, white women could have any legal property via chattel slavery which needed white women's participation to help enforce, the specter of sexual violence all coming from nonwhite & especially black men & it's up to the genteel white man to Protect Women (see prev, implicitly white or you'd have to specify otherwise)

anyway that is to get around to pointing to the Two Parent System wherein so shockingly the results are the same as the One Parent System re: abuse maintaining The Family (properly, i.e. unquestionable & certainly undeniable parental access to children, & "ideally" ofc again the patriarchal Father as ultimate authority w/ownership over the Mother, who in turn is theoretically honored for that motherhood (at least you own your children, insofar as it doesn't contradict w/what the father wants to do with his superior claim to ownership) & then finally all the obviously shittiness from being in that position in a patriarchy is in turn dumped on The Children who are ungrateful & owe the mother everything Because of what the broader society & immediate personal expressions of that abuse have done to her. see also ofc that two adults likely don't have the resources to raise a child in time or money or energy, maybe there's only one but also even an extended family's worth of adults aren't enough, is it enough when a child is sent to school for some other adults to be in charge most of the day, or even if someone is hired to look after them beyond that, all this ofc with the assumed premise that a child is always limited to the various Domains of The Adults In Charge, & from there i segue into how naturally being in gay baby jail unless & until adults are no longer recognized as Legally In Charge Of You (the grand like 5 minutes it's relatively been since the ideal timeline of a woman's life wasn't being legal property of her father until asap passed along to legal property of her husband. still considered ideal ofc but like with "maybe you can have a bank account" now & "maybe you can become 29 before you're in Old Maid danger" Maybe, i said, Maybe....anyway that obviously adults(tm) being divided up (atomised. spritz) into Households isn't even supposed to be enough to live on their own, re: necessitating Marriage, much less uh oh having kids who are stuck with their parents who are stuck with them, but then all the obvious actual problems & abuses inflicted on Adults to have to have their family households & exploited jobs are dumped on the children who Must appreciate & be loyal to the parents (i.e. never Deny Access) while yknow kids have Fake Problems they're whining about, the one Real Problem of having to pay a bill gets the payoff of leverage to tell your children to shut the fuck up or perhaps the more vulnerable spouse

hm didn't segue right into "so shoutout to like The Ratchet Effect diagrams lol, the "Two" Party System where its supposed left wing Blocks Movement To The Left, right wing Moves Everything To The Right" but even that is like, mm, conferring a passivity to what democrats do in the continual movement to the right (won an election? lost an election? the lesson either way is The Right Is Right; exact same logic as in "winning or losing" "the war on crime" like the collection & analysis of whatever statistics show the trend of some "crime" is increasing in frequency or magnitude? show that it's decreasing? the lesson either way is Cops Need More Power) like the institutional effort of democrats to push a candidate nobody wants through primaries (did we even do that this time around. oh great that the assumed candidate even graciously agreed to not force themself as The Candidate, & now like 5 min left with the Next In Line candidate dumped on everyone now with the lesson for the left(tm) to shut up already lol) & then it's up to Grassroots Voters. it's up to Unity & well we all Need to listen to the white supremacists, points were made, in the "elections" with voting as limited as possible & with the electoral college & supreme court as Safeguards against democracy & here's the senate, eternally thus, & again the conclusions will always manage to be moving To The Right, paraphrasing from twitter like democrats are about to be or already at the point of "in the name of unity we will no longer be running against republicans; it's too divisive :(" which yknow is already The Statements of all of yesterday from various like "i'm the republican official white supremacy agree-er now" after also the entire campaign of "no, I'm the fascist" where like wow shocking that the appeal to the fascists didn't win a) the fascists who will ofc want the even more overt fascism, why wouldn't they or b) the people who want antifascism actually, and do not want fascism; who could have foreseen? & it's always the fault of being Too Antifascist for the actions of the fascists or the Diplomatic Comprimises the other party makes with the fascists &/or their Failure to thwart them....the Nicer, Safer party in power is surely doing their best & at least they're not the Meaner, More Dangerous one but at the end of the day they'll always side with that party over america(tm) & those bearing the brunt of the actions of State Power can be told to keep their chin up or else to stop acting out b/c how do you expect that state power to respond, cmon, you bring it upon yourself, & you Have to work with them & understand all their feelings & your role in resolving those feelings by being lesser inferior property, you do Have to understand, b/c in the end this is All About Family, surely Good & Necessary, whoops i mean in the end this is All About America

anyway yeah i'm like damn my "nicer" (also shitty) father who was also the even more sexist & racist (& certainly no Less ableist, queerphobic) parent was basically the democratic party of the Two Parent System of Family Government lol. b/c we Need to perpetuate this Family, no other logics much less actions are acceptable....& people struggling with the Parent / Adults in their life like that who were the "safe" & "protective" ones who markedly failed to protect & minimized the harm afterwards but also in general, never to confront the reality of the situation, or do damage control like "aw some points were made at all :( ah i see you have Feelings about this :( hmm yes the Parental Power is gonna have to make some changes" & then as soon as possible (assuming reeling in the party who was deviating too much) these changes(tm) are already compromised or diminished if done at all, & then oops things incrementally might be right back to how they always were, no guarantees it won't be Worse b/c the Power is even more insecure / aware of weaknesses, & the only way this is thwarted is if the Wayward Parties can actually leverage new boundaries / less vulnerability, not b/c the supposedly sympathetic parties, who never came through where it counts & likely would also become overt antagonizers / wielders of whatever power within the Family hierarchy / turn on the more vulnerable parties to Get Them In Line, actually came through. movement Away (more disruptive to the maintenance of The Family, The State) is blocked, incrementally only ever moving everything back, & then Further....& despite this being what the power structures are, & do, the Disruptive parties liable to be scapegoated lol, can't believe the scapegoat child is ruining everything for everyone, this Family would totally improve & start being everything it could be otherwise & we ignore who actually has the power & is actually enforcing the hierarchy harming everyone to point to that scapegoat; can't believe thee left is destroying america (republican voice) can't believe the left is destroying america (democrat voice) So You See? The Undeniable Consensus. just like how i believe it was my fault my family unit was Like That & i had those experiences, according to the vast majority of Input from that family & even others who, knowing nothing, would say how Lucky i was to be relatively close to home, or just of course that oh well parents love their children & mean well & try their best. just like how i believe that being treated like i've been generally as a neurononconforming person, i.e. hated & the interpersonal abuse & bullying & ostracization & [attention possibilities: ignored, responded to but negatively, interacted with to get something from] & actually rewarding interactions or just actions being liable to get Deluxe authority responses as disruptive(tm) & ofc disobedient(tm) like hell fuckin yeah lol. just as i don't think that other people who have similar experiences or ones i don't have, i.e. assessed race being automatically seen as wrong / inferior, being isolated & undermined from all around? well gotta be their fault then, cmon lol....Abuse is actually normative, not extraordinary, in every Arena of interactions, & so are the logics / apologia / assumptions

anyway lol re: like yeah people struggling with the like betrayal of the "nooo i'm on your side, i sympathize, i'm the one who's nicer & you Need so that things aren't even worse" party, not even One Big Novel betrayal, but rather that that's what's Been done the whole time & doesn't stop. that supposedly if you have Any sympathy for that party you have to be like aw :( keep doing your thing (necessarily reining everyone in) or if you have Any sympathy for the people who also want things to improve but blame & take it out on the more disruptive parties (more disruptive to an abusive family e.g., btw. & not like i see Cohesion as necessarily some Good rather than neutral? when i'm autistic / my existence is supposedly antithetical to this? or when i'm able to look at a zillion hypothetical or actual situations & recognize how "cohesion" isn't the best goal / a destructive one / a vague concept anyways like cohesion Between Whom? on what basis? recognized & pursued how? why? up next: same as vague shit like "family" or "community" &c) then it's like yep gotta be Responsible for their feelings too if you're at all sympathetic & capitulate, The Only Possible Action, vs the idea of those in power actually making things shit stopping, much less being stopped / having to stop in the various ways that can happen....one way being "oh no, adult children who choose to be no-contact with parents" which is seen as A Tragedy, & sign of a Deteriorating Society, take me back. ah jeez oh no, look at the divorce raaates....Oh No, twentysomething women aren't pursuing marriage enoughhhh....again the undetectably identical echo when people peak vaguely talk about "conflicts" that thwart "community" or whatever, ugh nobody will date anymore, commit anymore, be friends anymore, hang out as coworkers anymore, talk to me if i want to talk to them anymore, &ccccc....

the real tl;dr is like wait ""two party"" (one party) US electoral system, just like ""two parent"" maintenance of thee family lol. ratchet effect raise your hand if you've only ever experienced Movement Away from the abusive family blocked, forever incrementally ratcheted back in to the desires & pursuits of those most in power / top of the hierarchy / thus of course most invested in the abuse, that's what the power & hierarchy is made of, sustained by, perpetuates....sorry doing our best :( sorry that's just all that's realistic, no other choice Really. cmon. kind of Your Fault if you don't agree to that & whoops now Everything is the fault of whoever doesn't agree & cooperate enough :( now look what you've done & brought upon yourself :( & we'll just forget the eruption of violence suppression happened & will happen again & be the overhanging threat all in the meantime