#might as well get the bonus rewards and shit

[starswallowingsea]

With mergemeru coming back the same day as obbligato. And I'm going for the last 2 copies of that + 3 copies of both obbligato cards (9.5mil points) i may or may not fall off the face of the earth for two weeks.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini I want to fuck a demon boy so bad I can't. I'm so sleep deprived and this is the only thing on my mind. The idea of this powerful demon who's not used to being challenged, just ending up ass up face down on the floor, bed WHEREVER. It's not important. Ending up like that is just peak. Also I like to think they'd have sensitive tails. So. Like. I totally.

Wanna make them fuck themselves with their own tail. I think that'd be great. I think it would be awesome.

I want them to get so flustered at the idea of doing it, but do it anyway just coz I told them to. I can almost imagine them finding their own prostate with their tail, and really they can't decide which sensation to focus on. Feeling themselves clench around their own tail, or the way the slightly pointed end slams into their prostate. And bonus points if they cum and you overstim them by grabbing their tail and fucking them so much harder than they could themselves. Hooray, now they've got

your hand around their already much too sensitive tail

said sensitive tail is being slammed into their ass

it's gotta feel so good, they'd probably be so tight around themselves

your hand is gonna slip a few times, which is gonna end up in stroking their tail, which has got to feel like heaven for them

not to forget that you're thrusting their tails directly onto their prostate without letting them breathe

I just. I don't know. I think they'd look so pretty, flushed and begging to stop, even though it's them that keeps weakly trying to thrust their tail back into themselves. Also, they'd look so pathetic, sobbing from the overstimulation. I'm a sucker for tears trailing down their faces, eyes red and a little puffy. It'd almost make you wanna be nice to them. Almost.

But yknow, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And sometimes what a girl's gotta do is fuck a demon stupid with their own tail. (I don't have the same way with words as some people, but like do you see the vision)

~a sleep deprived,🧁anon

You are so smart holy shit. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Fucking a demon with their own tail? Why didn’t I think of something as great as this??! Lemme write down my thoughts for a sec- (btw I thought you are like, very religious?)

Dom!reader x sub!character

You had a long day behind you, and there was nothing sweeter than the thought of finally getting some sleep. All you wanted was to have a good rest, but to your demise you woke up in the middle of the night with something heavy on top of you. “Ops, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Oh well this will do too.” What the hell? It was a fucking person?? First thing you did was push him off of you and turning on the lights, then you thought this was some kind of weird joke. He had two horns growing out of his forehead, as well as a super long tail with a heart shaped tip. Not to mention the pink, glowing tattoo on his pelvis. When he opened his mouth again, you thought you didn’t hear right. “I’m an incubus, pleasant to meet you~ now let me feast on you, pretty please?”

An incubus, so, in other words a demon. What in the- never mind. He said he wanted to feast on you? Heck no, he woke you up in the middle of the night and is expecting you to have the energy to fuck him? As soon as he got up to try make a move on you, you flipped him over and tangled your hand in his hair, then pressed his face into your pillow. “If you are that desperate do it yourself.” Of course that little slut was into that.

He reached for his dick, but you slapped his hand away and instead grabbed his tail. “MhMngh- aaAAHhnn~!” A surprised yet blissful moan escaped him, face all red as lust fills their already sinful body. Anticipation swelling inside them at the thought of what you might do with them. That’s when they felt their own tail poking against their butt… wait wha? In the mean time you stroked it gently while whispering, “I want to watch you fuck yourself, who knows, I might reward you afterwards.” Suddenly all their previous confidence vanished as embarrassment took over. With their own tail..?? How did you even get that idea! Not even something as perverted as them had such outrageous ideas..!

In the end they could only obey without protesting, trusting their already super sensitive tail into their tight, wet hole. Each time they accidentally hit their prostate, they’d yelp and whimpers. Pretty tears are already rolling down their even prettier faces. Eyes half lidded as they whine, “mhm! Ah-ahhHh.. nghHnn~!!” All while their poor, useless dick is twitching around on its own, making a mess everywhere <3

Gojo, Sukuna, Dazai, Fyodor, Nikolai, jouno, Scaramouch, Kaeya, lyney, Ayato, Aventurine, Sampo, Jing Yuan (?), Douma - your favourites

[gojos-thot-patrol]

please can i get headcanons for gojo,geto and nanamis love languages please! thank youuuu

But of course you can Anon!! I read this request and instantly got ideas, so thank you for the ask <3 without further ado,

Now Presenting...

Starring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and a bonus Ryomen Sukuna ;)

The Touch Starved,

Satoru Gojo

PHYSICAL. TOUCH. Gojos love language is physical touch, no I’m actually not taking criticism at this time <3

“But Narrator! He always has his full body condom (infinity) on!” I hear you yell. And Yes, dear reader, that’s the point.

He’s spent so much of his life unable to let anyone get close. Touch is inherently an act of trust, and he doesn’t touch anyone.

So the first time you hug him, and he actually lets himself experience intimacy, he actually turns into a puddle and melts in your arms.

And that shit is basically coke, he’s had a taste and he can not get enough.

When you’re driving he’s touching your thigh, you’re going to sleep he’s cuddling you close, you’re taking a walk he’s holding your hand, watching a movie on the couch and his head is in your lap. You get the idea, if you’re around he’s touching you

If you really want to make his day, offer to play with his hair. There is a 40% chance he’ll tear up about it.

Honestly, I genuinely feel like he’d be a little bit annoying about it. Random hugs and kisses constantly happening, it would be hard to get anything done, I’m not gonna lie

He’s kinda like a cat! The moment you try to get any work done, he’s crawling into your lap and you gotta work around him.

Hold on, wait, where's my cat meme-

It’s Him.

I’m being serious, cup his face like that and watch him turn to putty.

Moral of the story: Gojo just wants to be held

Man is never defeating the Baby Girl allegations

The Sickeningly Sweet,

Suguru Geto

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, BABYEEEE

Suguru was born with a silver tongue in more ways than one and he knows how to use it.

“You’re breathtaking, you know that?” “How did I get so lucky to have someone as magnificent as you?” “My darling is so talented, what ever will I do when the world learns to appreciate you as much as I do?”

He’s going to single handedly raise your self esteem, watch him. He is going to pour honeyed words over you like a warm, safe shower

….Look, I’m not good with words, BUT HE IS! You get what I’m trying to say!

He would leave little notes for you to find around the house with sweet little messages. Just to give you a little dopamine rush, ya know?

He definitely sends you random texts throughout the day letting you know that he’s thinking about you and missing you.

God help you on any holiday that could possibly call for card giving. Valentine's Day, Christmas, your birthday, your anniversary, He’s going to write you a card, and it’s going to make you cry. It’s a personal goal of his.

Doing simple household chores has never felt more rewarding tbh.

Like, yea, you’re going to do the laundry anyway. But having him tell you how thankful he is for you and how much he appreciates it really makes getting through the task easier.

Would writing a song for someone count as acts of service or gift giving?...

Doesn’t matter, he writes songs for you, there I said it.

He’s 100000% The type of boyfriend that points out how attractive you are Every. Single. Time. He sees you in any state of undress. Prove me wrong, you can’t. Doesn’t matter if he’s seen it 101 times before, He’s going to call you hot.

Honestly he’s a major confidence booster.

Ngl, part of me thinks I’m giving him too much credit but oh well LMAO.

The Always Helpful,

Kento Nanami

Nanami is giving me Acts of Service tbh.

Like, he’s 1000% the “I will make you breakfast in bed” kind of husband material, and that is an act of service if I’ve ever heard it. 

Honestly, He just wants to do anything he can to try and make your day a little bit easier.

If that means doing the dishes even if it’s technically your turn, then so be it!

Doors might as well not exist to you when you’re with him, he will open them all

“I noticed your water bottle was empty. I got you another one.” “I know you’ve been stressed lately, I made your favorite for dinner tonight.” “Here, let me get that for you.”

He was made to be a caretaker tbh.

You can read between the lines there as little or as much as you’d like

If he catches you doing a chore, he’s going to find a way to help, sorry I don’t make the rules.

You’re washing the dishes? He’s drying and putting them away. You started cleaning the living room? Perfect, he’ll clean the kitchen. Oh, you washed the laundry? Looks like he’s gonna fold it and put it away.

He wants you to feel like you’re in a partnership. I genuinely don’t think he buys into this traditional idea that one partner makes money and the other takes care of the home front. Homemaking is a team effort god damn it!

It goes both ways though. If you really want to make him feel loved, a warm home cooked meal is the way to this man's heart.

He’s going to make the next meal to show his appreciation though.

 Someone put this man in a maid dress tbh.

I need me a Nanami tbh lol

The Ever-Present,

Ryomen Sukuna

OKAY sooo here’s the thing. It’s fuckin Ryomen my guy. Love languages almost require conscious acts of love, or to at least ya know admit you’re in love. In that sense, Ryomen doesn’t have a love language; he actively mocks the concept of “love languages” as humans refusing to accept the fact that their emotions are all just chemical reactions in their brain designed to make them want to fuck.

That being said, it's Quality Time. 

Ryomen’s love is always quiet. It’s him sitting in the same room as you while you read, casually talking with you while you do chores, or insisting on being in the garden while you tend to it because “It’s my (his) garden, I’ll be here if I want! Don’t think I’m here for you.” He absolutely is there for you.

His biggest act of love is letting you sleep in his room with him. That's quality time by definition my guy.

He genuinely gets so jealous when you spend time with other people because that's how he defines love. It's the person you want to spend time with (Don’t ask him about it, he won’t admit it) so you spending time with other people means you love them. And he can not handle the idea of you loving anyone that’s not him.

Remember when I said Satoru was like a cat? I take it back, Sukuna is like a cat. He wants to be in the same room as you but the last thing he wants is to be perceived by you.

He just wants to watch you read your book and not be grilled as to why he insists on being with you all the time. He’s clearly just, uh…enjoying the fireplace! Duh! Foolish mortal, why would he vie for your affections?...so, uh..whatcha reading?

He will never admit it, but his favorite thing in the world is to sit in the garden with you, listening to you talk about flowers while he pretends not to care.

This is followed closely by holding your close to him at night, whispering words of affirmation to you you will never hear when awake. 

I think that spending quality time with you is the only way Sukuna knows how to show love. I think he often gets overwhelmed by physical affection. He’s not used to it, and he didn’t immediately take to it the way Gojo did. Words of affirmation are out because he’s not a wordsmith unless he’s making threats. Can’t do acts of service because his ego would never let him do a favor for anyone else, and he can’t find any gifts that feel worthy of you- none of them feel right. So, Quality time it is.

Words may fail him, but he’s aware of how he feels. And the soft intimacy of listening to your favorite music with you, watching you hum along and dance makes him feel so viscerally raw, that it’s almost enough to make him admit there maybe more to love than just chemicals making you want to fuck. 

Should I just write a fic at this point? Maybe because GOD I am a fucking sucker for soft Sukuna. Yes I am aware I am part of the problem, I do not care, give me 2 weeks. I can fix him!

Just imagine stargazing with Sukuna for a second. Imagine listening to the crickets chirp off in the distance, both of you are aware that it goes against everything he’s ever said for him to be out here with you, and both of you know better than to acknowledge that fact. You know you’re not supposed to love him because he claims he will never love you, but as your hand meets his, and you watch him tense for just a second before relaxing under your touch again, you both know it’s only a matter of time now. 

 I always get carried away on Ryomens section in these.

I just really love my weird little demon dude lmao. 

[imjustheremam]

Can you do a Yandere Phobos general headcanon please?

Ok!! Phobos you god complex freak I'm coming for you!!

READ REEAD!!! Warnings: this is a Gender Neutral reader, Obsession, he has God complex, kidnapping, Murder, PDA, Possessive, Manipulation and Forced relationship, Threats, Suggestive things, Forced kissing, Biting, punishment and torture.

PHOBOS

Ok... I honestly hope you die really soon or leave Nevada really soon because good lord this dude is the WORST...

If its You that made this man obsessed with you, I need you leave Nevada and never come back!! But if it's someone else then your lucky...

Phobos is the type of yandere to force his obsession into a relationship even if means he has to break them...

Now remember Phobos has god-complex so this man well makes sure you worship him even if your different....

If your a scientist, agent, soldat, engineer, or an enemy to him... he doesn't give two shits he WILL make you worship him...

He is obsessed with you aswell as possessive with you...

Now he won't stalk you... but...will send his agents and soldats after you and his minions will be questioning there purpose after spying on you...

Poor minions have to deal with phobos stupid obsession and commands...anyway...

If he sees you with your friends, say bye bye because the moment phobos sees them they will be nothing more than food for the crows...

Phobos will send his minions to kill your friends. Oh wait is your friend one his minions...guess what BAM!! They're gone...

Now when phobos had enough of spying on you for too long, he will send his minions to kidnap you. But depending how you act...

...You might get beat up for trying to resist...and Phobos will be angry as fuck...

And yes he will punish them....

Now after the kidnapping, he will keep you very close to him where you belong...

remember Phobos has god complex...yeah he also wants you to give him all the attention and worship him like the God he is...

But if you dare to give one of his scientist like crackpot or other attention he will ruin the moment by just either sending them away or straight killed them right infront of you....

Yea you have no friends...but that o- yea that is not ok...

Anyway if you been a good girl/boy/grunt he will reward you with affection and cuddles, he will even spoil you and probably secretly worship but unnoticed by everyone including you...

Oh but if you don't act like one, he will punish you and punishments are horrible like God damn you won't survive...

Also I need you to kiss him before he grabs you head and kisses you roughly because it's fucking scary and I know it...

He likes to bite you on your shoulder because it's probably the best place for him to show that he owns you and no one else....NO ONE ELSE...

now threats is not even a threat...it's a FACT, if you ever disobeyed him and act like a "bitch" this man will threatened you saying he will punish you and actually will do it... so behave...

Now you be force to be his little goddess, pet, or servant... depending on how you act... but hey atleast he spoils you...if you behave

Ok he will do PDA... like literally... but I don't like to talk about that so were gonna skip it....

Now Manipulation is something else... because it depends on how things go

if he had kidnapped you first, Manipulation won't work on you that much but you being in harms away, his words might persuade you...

Now if it was before he kidnapped you, I believe he would have easily have you wrap around his fingers, even if you work for the enemy he still gonna have it is way why? Because his a G O D

"Don't disobey me... pet/servant, you don't wanna end up like the others...do you?...so be a good pet/servant and obey your god..."

Bonus player and Viewer:

Now you probably know about a few aus about player, except for viewer that a new au I made up...

For Player being a world of madness that has godly powers is too much so this is what I would think of player

Is player(aka you) would have some ability like able to control the main 4 and others like puppets and can use cheat codes...

but even that power can't save you from phobos obsession...

But lucky for player they can control the main 4 and others, making him struggle more and probably would die trying to get to you...

Phobos wouldn't worship you why? Because their can only be one true god here and thats... him

instead he would force you into a relationship even if you disagree... but the relationship his going to be violent one...

Player may be able to use cheat codes but phobos will always get them back

Now Viewer

Despite you being a "God" in their world, your still a fragile human and phobos knows...

He even might try to break the game rules if he has to...

Viewer(aka you, again) isn't from the game we all know but the cartoon series we all know, as their ability is to rewind or go forward like a viewer...

Viewer can pause and move around but can't move the characters in the series...

However, when player pauses the game they can't move only go on menu but, for viewer it's quite the opposite...

But unlike player being called a God, viewer is call a parasite or a unknown entity in their cartoon world...

Now phobos can easily take advantage of viewer because viewer can't fight back...

But phobos would also be enraged, because viewer can just rewind the video and basically not let phobos capture them...

But then again viewers are more weaker and fragile than player, and it takes them like a few minutes or more to pause or rewind the video...

Just like any other phobos he wants you to worship him and force you into a relationship but it would be more of a... crazier than the game version of phobos...

Both phobos are the same but cartoon would be the worst...trust me viewer can fight or do anything so if viewer is trapped and can't use their rewind ability...their fucked...

Yeah now it's time for me to work on one-shot Sanford. I hope you like it if not then sorry to disappoint you buddy... here have a gif:

[decaydanceredacted]

im back. again. for tboy puppy pete…getting my dick into him as we speak. (nobody is surprised) anyways this is sort of a continuation of my last egregiously long submission i apologize for the brainrot

so like my last anon was super long and more me being weird about bruises than actually fucking pete so. yeah. i’d fuck the living shit out of him on the asphalt i don’t care. it doesn’t have to be pretty. (even though i still think this might just be where he’d be the prettiest (all bruised up with his own cum wetting his inner thighs.)) i don’t wanna be really gentle with him anyway because that would kind of defeat the purpose of us beating the shit out of each other in the first place (even though he was really just in it because it got him horny. so)

i’d barely let him recover from cumming the first time. it’d be kind of cute to watch him struggle to get his brain back on track but it’s not like i’d actually let him get away without taking at least one load, so i’d get my fingers back in there (much slicker this time, still twitching) and start trying to open him up a little. his brain would melt back into a liquid and he’d be arching his back and crying out in seconds. his baseline is “sensitive, needy puppy” and now its exaggerated about one thousand times. poor thing whimpering and stuttering about how it’s ‘too much’ already and he hasn’t even cum twice yet.

i’d keep a hand on his collar for as long as i could. if not to restrain him, then to ground him. i keep it there when i pull my fingers out, and when i replace them with my dick. i need to feel him around me so bad. he’d feel as good as he looks. i’d probably readjust myself to be more directly over top of him, maybe getting him into a position more akin to a mating press (maybe i’d even be nice enough to take off his shoes for him so his pants can go too). i wanna watch him tear up a little and see his lip quivering when i stretch him out. hearing him whine about how it’s too big (it’s definitely not) or about how he’s not gonna last (who cares? not me) or just little jumbled up curses. (i wanna look down and see his stupid womb tattoo just over where my dick would be when i bottom out. maybe press down on it a little with my free hand.)

fucking him would be super overwhelming at first i think (his puppy parts feel so good and he’s so loud and i’ve gotta hold him down and talk him through taking it like a good puppy) but i’d pretty easily quiet him down (make him cum again so he’s forced to stop thinking anything at all for a second). it’d probably only take a couple well timed brushes to his tdick and he’d be stuttering to a stop. (he cums harder than last time. absolutely boneless little puppy hanging off my cock. in a parking lot. so i would definitely mention how anybody could drive by and even though it’s dark out they’d know exactly what was happening.) (it’s honestly taking like 95% of my brain not to call him a stupid puppy literally every chance i get. he’s a stupid puppy)

i wanna fuck him through cumming so bad. watch his jaw drop open and how he’d visibly go blank. nothing in his head but how good he feels. (maybe he weakly tries to extend the feeling (no words to ask me to do it for him) by fucking himself back onto my dick. but at this point he’s definitely too tired for that.) overstimulating him because i need to cum too (and it’s just a bonus to see him try and stop himself from cumming a third time. it’s absolutely useless because he was built to take it like a good puppy.) wanna tell him he’s been such a good boy, that i’m gonna put pups in him as a reward for his efforts.

since pete is such a pretty boy and he’s taken it so well of course i’d keep my word and cum inside him. and then stay inside him (just for a little while because why the hell would i not? he feels good and warm and it’d be so nice to have him under me pressed into the concrete for a little while longer. maybe i need to lesn down and lick the blood off his upper lip. get my tongue in his mouth and give him perhaps the laziest makeout session he’ll ever have. while my dick is still inside him. yeah.)

my brain is absolutely mush right now i need to ruin him so bad Hope you understand.

- ⚙️ gear anon :-)

.

[morgana-ren]

https://www.tumblr.com/baronvontribble/733180802575302656/thoughts-on-the-vampire-ascendant

Thought you’d enjoy this bit of whump bonus

They're right. One of my age-old sayings is "Don't make a deal with a devil." Initially it started out through playing DnD very young and being tricked repeatedly by my stepdad, who always had some way to outcraft us. It is only reinforced by DnD lore, where devils are self-serving and more clever than you. They will offer you everything you ever wanted and take away everything that made it worth having until you beg for death-- and even then, you will not get it. Your eternal reward is as their currency in some form or another. The vampire ascendant. They make a point to tell you that it has never happened before. That this is a new breed of vampire with all the lusts and appetites of man, and none of the weaknesses of their kind. In exchange for a paltry 7,000 souls, this deal can be yours. The post is right. They can get that through starting a war. Through a genocide. Through tedium and meticulous crafting. Through sending their servants out into the realms of men to trick those with enough arrogance and hubris that they would tangle with a cambion. So what else are they gaining? One thing I've noticed throughout the playthrough is Astarion has a shocking lack of forethought most of the time. He is smart, but he isn't necessarily clever. He doesn't have a devious mind. He's relatively straightforward most of the time, unless you count him trying to manipulate you. He would make a horrible chess player. He doesn't think moves ahead. He sees an opportunity and he takes it.

Obviously, this seems like the deal of a bloody lifetime to him. The souls are there already with no work on his end, and he doesn't have to do a single thing but torture his former master and recite some pretty words. Bam, instant ascendant.

What he doesn't realize is that this fully indebts him to the hells, or more specifically, his new master. See, devils do not only think one step ahead, and they sure as shit aren't going to grant power like that unless they continuously gain from it.

One of the fun parts of the Arch Dukes is that they are constantly throwing each other under the fucking bus. Each and every one wants to be better than Asmodeus. Each and every one plots above their station. They aren't content making petty deals with vampires. They want more.

If ol' Mephi is making this deal, he's doing so with ulterior motives. You can bet your fucking ass on that. And what better at Mephi's command than a souless, blood-hungry vampire with ambitions of making the world kneel at their feet? Astarion slaughters, and all the souls funnel right down to sweet Mephi, a part of the bargain that was thoughtlessly glossed over. Mephi gets his soul, and all that is left is a violent, warmongering vampire with endless thirst and the means to fill it. Astarion wants to be free so badly that at several points in the game, he offers his soul to other entities. Worst entities. Raphael, who is plotting something similar to Mephi, is one of these people. There's literally a conversation you have after meeting Raphael where he essentially tells you outright that he will sell what is left of his soul for a tiny bit of freedom. He might as well, right? He doesn't think, which is why you must do the thinking for him. Why would Mephi still allow the ritual to continue after Cazador had been slaughtered unless it didn't matter who took it? Why would he offer this in the first place for what is literally a paltry amount of souls? They do nothing alturistically. Nothing. Anyway, there's my thoughts on it.

[adhsea]

You should give Pathfinder 2e a shot

Given the state of everything surrounding WOTC and OneD&D, I figured that now was a good time to make a post like this. I know how things like this sound, so I’m going to promise up front that I’m not here to shit on D&D. I played 5e for years and had a lot of fun with it. This is a message from someone who decided to try out PF2e and found a new favorite system, and thinks you might enjoy it too. So without further ado, here’s a few reasons to give Pathfinder 2e a shot:

Tactics and Teamwork: Combat is incredibly rewarding in 2e. Every character has 3 actions, and abilities are balanced with the idea of each action being just as valuable. Attacking multiple times a turn imposes a penalty, so it's important to figure out what you can do besides attack in order to help your party members do great on their turns as well. Attacks of Opportunity are rare, so moving into a flank position is easy to achieve. You can use skills to learn about your enemy, frighten them, knock them into the ground, it's a lot to put in one tiny snippet. If you've wanted more dynamic and tactical combat, why not give this a shot?

Balance part A: This game is incredibly well balanced on pretty much every level. The math in this game is built around the crit system, where every roll that's 10 or more above the DC is a critical success, and every roll that's 10 or more below the DC is a critical failure. This means that even as the numbers get higher and higher, they're still consistent. As a result, encounter building is simple and can be easily adjusted to fit the challenge the DM wants to give the players. It's trustworthy and reliable math that rewards tactics and good playing.

Balance part B: The martial vs caster disparity is much less of a problem in this game. Spellcasters can’t trivialize encounters with a single spell slot, and martials can feel like they have an impact on fights. For some people used to playing spellcasters, this can feel like a huge nerf. There are ways to play blaster casters and do it well, but for the most part casting is balanced around versatility and support. Martials on the other hand are stronger than in any other sword and sorcery system I've ever seen. Seriously if you've never played a martial character because you've felt they're too boring or don't have enough of an impact on the game, try one out in this system.

Character Building part Classes: As of writing this post, there are 24 unique classes to choose from in the game. 12 were released in the core rulebook, and 12 more were slowly released over the game's 4 year life span. They're not done either, there's another class coming in late summer. 2e is a game that tries to make as many character concepts possible as it can. Will you play an Investigator trying to solve crimes, an Oracle who struggles with a divine curse, and Inventor trying to create the perfect weapon, or maybe a Magus studying to deliver powerful spells through the might of your blade? The possibilities aren't endless, but they're not stopping until they might as well be.

Character Building part Ancestries: Also known as Races in D&D, your choice of Ancestry is a more impactful choice than you might expect. At various levels, you'll earn meaningful Ancestry feats that allow you to define how your character's origin shaped them. Your dwarf might've spent so much time around a forge that things like fire and smoke are easier to handle, while your goblin friend might have such a fascination with fire that they get a small bonus to doing damage with it. You can even get versatile Heritages to further define your character. Have you ever wanted to play an elven tiefling, or a gnomish aasimar? There's a lot that you can do to make your character feel truly yours.

Ease of Access: All of the rules are available for free online. Legally. This isn't a piracy statement Paizo literally makes the rules freely accessible without having to spend a cent. There's a ton of tools made by the community available online to help you play too. Pathbuilder is a great character builder that's available for free. The Archives of Nethys for 2e have the rules from every single published book available, even adventure paths. pf2easy is another great catalogue you can search through and filter. I could go on and on. The only time paizo ever really insists on payment are the prewritten adventures, which is completely understandable. And speaking of which.

The Adventure Paths: Paizo's prewritten Adventure Paths are great. They're available in physical copies or pdfs, always in sets of 3 or 6 books, with the 3 book sets being adventures spanning 10 levels and the 6 books spanning 1 to 20. They're written with making things as easy for the gm as possible in mind, and you can expect them to be mostly prepared for player approaches to problems. And hey, if the campaign goes off the rails before you finish the first book, you don't have to buy anymore and can just keep things going however you want. If you're just starting out, the Beginner's Box is a great way to get introduced to the system. It comes with simplified rules and prewritten sheets to teach you the basics if all the rules feel like too much to wrap your head around.

I'm cutting myself off because this post is long enough, and I'll just keep on writing run on sentences if I don't. If you've made it all this way, I hope I've convinced you to try out 2e. It's an incredible system that more people should know about. You can sometimes find people willing to run the beginner's box for free online, and there's no shortage of people willing to help answer questions about the system. And if you're willing to take the plunge right away, I'll leave you with the Rules Index on AON. Just click the tab that says Core Rulebook, and boom you have access to everything you need to get started. Good luck and have fun.

[rallamajoop]

The RE4 Remake and Luis Serra Navarro

I have a gazillion thoughts about the new RE4 remake, and a dozen different aspects I kind of want to talk about. But you’ve got to start somewhere, so let’s talk Luis.

I doubt it’d be controversial to call Luis “easily the most interesting new character introduced in this game.” We’ve got complex and questionable motivations, a bunch of plot-relevant backstory, and a bonus-serve of extra random details about his childhood – much of which is very easy to miss, and rewards you for paying attention. By the end of this game, I’m pretty sure I know more about Luis than I do about Leon, and I still have questions. He’s not just one of my favourite parts of this new game, he’s a perfectly little microcosm of all the ways the remake has reworked awkward aspects of the original – mostly for the better, but not without creating new problems in the process.

But to get into all that, let’s start back with the original Luis from 2004.

So, for context, I haven’t actually played the original RE4. Since getting into the franchise, I’ve been consuming past canon instalments mostly by the lazy strategy of watching cutscene compilations on youtube. I am fully aware of the important place RE4 has in gaming history, the way it defined 3rd-person-shooter over-the-shoulder-gaming (or, to use my preferred term, lookit-the-booty-shooty). I have watched Jacob Geller wax rhapsodic about multiple different versions of this game.

But for all that people remember about the original RE4, the plot rarely seems to be more than a footnote. And for my own money, all I can tell you is that either this is just not a gaming experience well-served being experienced through the youtube-only medium (hardly the stuff of serious critique), or me and the original RE4 just aren’t clicking somewhere. I’m all for campy horror (see everything I’ve ever written about the Hammer films just to begin with), but RE4’s sense of humour largely leaves me cold. And Luis is – again – a pretty good demonstration of the kind of record-scratch moments that made it so hard to get into.

You can find a compilation of all Luis' cutscenes here, for reference. Like the remake, Leon first finds Luis tied up and gagged in a village house – apparently the only un-infected person in the vicinity. His first act on being un-gagged is to ask for a cigarette – a decent little character-moment. Luis claims to be a former cop from Madrid, who quit because he felt his work went unappreciated. Given Luis’ general demeanour, it wouldn’t be surprising to learn he was actually let go for taking bribes or something, but that’s more of a vibe. When Leon admits he was a cop back in Raccoon City, Luis claims he ‘might have seen a sample of the virus in a lab at the department’, and… hang on, Madrid PD has T-Virus samples lying around? The hell? Where’s this going?

But we don’t find out, because the conversation is interrupted, and Luis makes a break for it.

As in the remake, Luis’ next scene is to show up for the cabin siege scene, where he backs up Leon with a handgun. Cool, that tracks with the whole ‘former cop’ backstory.

Luis gets two further appearances, though the first mostly consists of him running up to say “I’ve got something for you guys! What… oh, shit, I must have dropped it,” and going away again, and it’s exactly as awkward as it sounds. But he does at least establish that the ‘something’ is a plagas-suppressant, as he knows Leon and Ashley are infected, and wants to help.

His final scene has him return with the suppressant, only to be stabbed in the back and killed by Saddler. As he lies dying, he admits he was really a researcher working for the Los Illuminados all along, only lately turned traitor – and we’ve officially hit our record-scratch moment.

So what was all that stuff about being a cop? Luis has good reason to lie about being a researcher, but ‘unemployed former cop’ is a heckuva cover story for a scientist, and what was that about Madrid PD having T-Virus samples? Luis-the-researcher might well have seen the virus somewhere, but why bring it up at all?

More than anything, these feel like leftover artifacts of a character who’s been substantially reworked somewhere in development, just without actually rewriting the start of the script to match. Luis’ story, like so much of this game, feels badly in need of a second draft.

Luis goes on to get something of an afterlife in collectable documents, and another scene in Ada’s DLC campaign. He’s still trying to get a plaga sample to her in this version, and he’s still responsible for the lab that cures Leon and Ashley of their infections. Ada's commentary on his character is interesting, and documents suggest he had a grandfather who used to hunt in the region, but he doesn’t get much more backstory.

Regardless, nearly 20 years later, Luis has finally got his second draft, and there’s a lot here that’s improved. (Have a new cutscene compilation link for reference.)

To begin with, any talk about being a cop is gone (an easy win). We find out he’s a researcher much earlier too – Leon is a lot less trusting of Luis this time, and calls in for a background check. He’s informed Luis used to work for Umbrella, and reacts as you’d expect. The cabin siege scene still goes off in similar fashion (though this time, Luis doesn’t feel it necessary to comment on Ashley’s tits the moment he meets her – another definite improvement).

This time though, Ashley starts coughing up blood immediately after they escape, and Luis’ offer to help remove the parasites happens right after the cabin siege, rather than being left for some awkward whoops-I-dropped-it moment later. The new scene actually finishes with the very same exchange (“Why are you helping us?”/ “It just makes me feel better”) – but this version, similarly, feels so much better. A+ revision work so far.

The remake also spells out Luis’ deal with Ada sooner too – her first proper scene in this version is her first contact with Luis. Again, Luis’ story ends in the castle with a stab in the back, and the stolen sample he was carrying being reclaimed by one of the villains (Krauser, this time, since Saddler apparently likes to delegate more in this version). But in between, things get a little odd.

Having already offered to help them, Luis contacts Leon by radio a couple of times during the castle chapters – firstly to say he’s waiting for Leon and Ashley in the courtyard. But Luis isn’t in the courtyard. His next message claims that he ran into trouble, and he’s had to retreat to the ballroom. But he’s not in the ballroom either. No further calls happen, nor does Leon react to his absence in either location.

Leon finally runs into him, apparently by chance, after being thrown down a hole and wandering for some time through tunnels deep under the castle. How did Luis end up down there too? No idea.

I’m glad he does though, because the following chapter you spend with Luis as your cabin-siege-style partner is a very good time. Though Leon is still distrustful and Luis still evasive, they exchange some great banter and generally make a good team. We encounter Luis’ love for Don Quixote, he admits he was working for Los Illuminados… and then Krauser stabs him, and Leon lights one last cigarette for him before he dies. It’s touching and very well done (not to mention dense with slashy subtext, if you want to take it that way).

Exploring Luis’ lab during the game’s final chapter adds some nice details too – equipment pilfered from Umbrella, an old photo with his colleagues, and naturally, text documents everywhere. But it’s his email logs with “A.W.” (Ada, obviously) that will most reward anyone paying attention – particularly the line you still remember the code phrase?

In this version, ��got a smoke?’ is still almost the first thing Luis says to Leon. But you might notice it’s also the first thing he says to Ada. And this time, we’ve got a whole new explanation as to why.

Admittedly, the execution is still a bit lacking. Luis calls Ada by her first name just a few lines after using his ‘code phrase’, and seems to know her well enough not to need a code phrase, so what's going on here? If Luis knew Ada herself was going to meet him, why try his code phrase out on Leon? Alternately, if he suspected Ada might have sent someone like Leon instead of coming in person, how did he know it was her when they met? Maybe we could still have used another draft. But it’s a otherwise a fun little easter egg to recontextualise something from the original in a creative way.

Much more has been added to Luis’ backstory hidden in documents from the village. You can find photos of 'a boy with his grandfather', an old diary left behind by said grandfather – and if you’re paying really close attention, a label on another copy of that photo naming the pair ‘Navarro’ – Luis’ last name. You might also notice that the boy in the story has Luis’ fixation on Don Quixote (another character trait added by the remake).

But young Luis’ story ends in tragedy, the conclusion picked up elsewhere in the village elder’s records: the grandfather is bitten by a wolf, begins experiencing what seem to be known symptoms, and tells the village elder "you know what to do." The old man is killed, and his cabin and everything in it burned to the ground so the infection can’t spread.

Now, the idea the village has been quietly dealing with plaga-infected wolves for generations despite the fact that the plaga were supposedly sealed under the castle until recently has problems of its own, but that’s a bit beyond scope. The more relevant problem is the idea that Luis comes from the same village where all the action takes place – why? What does this add to the story? With Luis’ new Umbrella-Europe-backstory, making the village his birthplace seems like little more than meaningless coincidence, thrown in without anyone thinking it through.

But there is one intriguing possibility buried in the subtext of Luis’ story, and it’s an angle I’d love to see explored.

The village records end with the scene of a young Luis watching in silence as his childhood home burns to the ground, his only family still inside, then walking away, never to be seen again. Now, suppose that’s the very moment that inspired him to go into medical research, driven to understand infectious agents like the one that took his grandfather’s life, that the people he grew up with only knew to treat with medieval superstition. Suppose that’s what made him seek out shady employers like Umbrella, the only outfits with the interest and funding to delve into that area. The drive to find cures, to find proof that what happened to his grandfather didn’t have to be treated like a ritual witch-burning could’ve fuelled a lot of denial in Luis about where the funding was coming from. And after Umbrella’s collapse, you can only imagine how he might jump at the chance to work on the same parasites that had infected that wolf from so long ago.

If that was the intent, though (and damn do I want it to be), I honestly think it’s a little too buried in layers of subtext to carry. I can only hope maybe we’ll be seeing more of Luis in DLC to come – in Ada’s Separate Ways, if not his own – that might expand on those parts of his history a little more explicitly. Or at least cover what he was actually up to all that time he keeps messaging Leon from different parts of the castle (did he genuinely run into trouble? Was Ada pushing him to keep Leon moving for her own purposes? How did he wind up down in the mines?)

The notion of Luis as a village native still has its problems though. The house you find him in seems to be the same one he grew up in – it’s a cabin by the lake, his grandfather’s diary and photo is there, etc. Only those old village records spell out very clearly that that cabin burned to the ground as part of a major character moment. Which is it, game? You can’t have it both ways.

Even if we ignore that awkward ‘burned to the ground’ detail, are we to take it the ganados caught Luis in his old house and left him tied him up in his own cellar? Wouldn’t they move a prisoner like him? Speaking of which, was that one guy banging on the floor supposed to be hammering the hatch shut? Why? Was Luis being left down there to die? Don’t they still need to question him about that sample he stole? This stuff does not stand up to scrutiny.

And the idea of Luis as a native still doesn’t completely work for me, because shouldn’t there have been some clue in the way he talks about the place? Chief Mendez is a man Luis knew from his childhood – when Luis sees him coming in a cutscene, his reaction betrays no more familiarity than ‘not this guy’. In that cabin siege scene, surely there must be faces in that crowd he’s firing on that he recognises. And fuck, how do you come back to the place you grew up, find its residents reduced to zombie slaves, and think, “sure, I could work for these people…”?

I do realise expecting this level of humanity out of characters in a Resident Evil game might be a little much, but this stuff throws me. It builds the impression the Luis who grew up in the village is a character that exists only in text files, largely independent from the cutscene-Luis of the rest of the game. When you expect your audience to notice minor details like a surname on a photo in order to put together a main character’s backstory, you’re demanding they pay close attention. And once you’ve demanded that much investment, it’s worth keeping track of whether the cabin by the lake was supposed to be burned down or not, why Luis should be able to call Ada by name but treat Mendez like a stranger, and other such confusing detail. And Luis’ story is still positively logical and consistent compared to that of Chief Mendez himself, or anything much else in the game’s lore.

Luis is genuinely one of my favourite parts of the remake – he’s complicated, interesting, and fun. But trying to make sense of him could be a more rewarding experience. Many things are improved from the original, but for my money, they could still have stood to go for a third draft.

[meyerlansky]

what is special about civilisation vi? (i really love strategy games and i want to know if it's worth buying during the sale :)

tl;dr ABSOLUTELY worth the sale price, which is, holy shit, 95% off? that's SO STEEP, literally everyone on the planet should buy it right now

uh that totally threw off my train of thought, that is. so cheap. ANYWAY. with the caveat that i haven't played previous civ games, and with the second caveat that i am the type of person to sink hundreds of hours into a single game as a matter of course [please do not ask how many hours i have in patho 2, dwarf fortress, or crusader kings 3], there is something REALLY addictive about the gameplay loop in civ vi, and the many varied routes to victory opens up so much potential for replay value. i also really enjoy that there's built-in challenges in the achievement list [in steam, at least] for every civilization, in addition to the "win with x civ" chievos—they're fun hints for different ways to play a given civ that's not necessarily what that civ is suited for. i'm thinking specifically of the genghis/mongolia bonus achievement:

as fits his whole shtick, genghis is suited to an early/mid-game domination victory, so going for the cultural victory instead opens up other options, ones a player might not think to try were there not a reward for doing so! there's a lot of stuff like this in the bonus achievements, and it definitely makes the game even more fun for me

the gameplay itself is... i think if someone doesn't have experience with strategy/4X games, there's a bit of a learning curve, but i did find the in-game hints system pretty useful for my first few runs. if you DO have experience with those kinds of games, i get the sense civ vi isn't very far outside the expected format/play style, so it should feel pretty familiar. firaxis has also put out a LOT of updates; they've almost tripled the amount of leaders playable since launch, added new modes, and introduced different playsets you can turn on or off at your leisure. a lot of the DLC is on sale as well as the base game, and the total's pretty steep if you're buying every pack, but that 95% off base game is doing. a LOT of heavy lifting. good god that's such a discount.

[themagicalghost]

OK I FINALLY GOT TIME SO this is probably gonna be a series of asks if Tumblr decides to limit my characters (i dont feel comfy coming off anon in the tt community sorry)

First we gotta talk about the Cogs since all of the gag/reward stuff is gonna have to be based on them

.Exes and .Mgrs were a very welcome change. .Exes instantly give every battle some variety in requiring you to think to take them down instead of memorizing a chart of which combos wipe a group (fuck Zap Camp too btw), and .mgrs were a much needed shakeup, away from the 4 main bosses which got repetitive as hell, that allow just about all the gags and prestiges to shine in some way

Skelecogs and Virtuals in the same way as .exes force you to be on your toes thanks to the varied hp and debuff resistance, virtuals in particular being a good choice for the OCLO, sorry v2.0s but you're boring

Cogs do more damage in general, which emphasizes either taking them all out or stunning them, and Content Sync definitely helps with that. Even with how controversial it was at the start, it was a good choice

Cogs have proper scaling AND HAVE LEVELS HIGHER THAN 12 FINALLY TTR WAS SO BAD AT THIS AND THEY DONT EVEN LET YOU SEE THE NUMBERS WHY TTR MUST YOU BE LIKE THIS

Ok now onto the gags:

But before each one, even more TTR ranting:

WHY CAN'T YOU CHANGE GAGS TTR

ORGANICS ARE SO BAD, PRESTIGES ARE SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING, FUCK GARDENING ALL MY HOMIES HATE GARDENING

Level 7s, while I miss Railroad my beloved, were really badly done and limited where the game could go

LURE COMBO BONUS SUCKS DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Ahem.

Toon-Up: As stated, Cogs deal much more damage, so TU has much more use, especially in .mgrs. The self heal was also something that shouldve been in the game forever ago, and not just relegated to a prestige. At least the Prestige makes you heal even more now. However, TU MISSING was a shit idea on TTO's part because it was the only way they could get Toons to go sad in the sound spammy lure left kill right meta if everything missed. Now you might be forced to take damage, so your cannon missing would be a death sentence. Thank god they removed that early on in 1.3. also the accuracy buff is AN INTENDED MECHANIC THANK GOD

Trap: Trap FINALLY HAS USE CASES OUTSIDE OF LIKE LAWFICES. First off, it's an .exe killer. The hard counter to them. Bye bye mr .exe. And then Clash gave it Dazed, which made Trap/Drop an intended strat too. But also it's just BIG NUMBER. The Prestige is EVEN BIGGER NUMBER. This means you can oneshot even really big Cogs with like a prestige trapdoor where TTR wouldve needed an organic (also bad) TNT

Lure: Yeah Lure Decay was bad but they learned in 1.3, and instead we have a much better system with the per-gag knockback, which lets you deal even more damage with each throw or squirt gag you use, where instead of a hypno doing the same 50% total base damage as a $10 bill, $10 bills do more damage than hypnos. I legit almost stopped carrying 10 bills in clash entirely and went with like 15 magnets instead UNTIL they changed it like that. Also, using a Group Lure with a Single Lure actually synergizes well, especially with Throw setups in like OCLO, since the damage values vary, you can lure and IOU (more on that later) both, with your main target getting a 50 bill, before nuking them with 4 throws, for at least 400 extra damage (460 with prestige!), ON TOP OF THE ADDED COMBO DAMAGE SINCE LURE KNOCKBACK COUNTS FOR IT NOW BY THE WAY. In comparison to TTR which actually nerfed the most useless Organic. And again, I must stress this: LURE BONUS SUCKS DIIIIIIIIIII-

Throw: I'll admit, when I saw it in the QA patch notes, I was hesitant to say the least, but THROW SWAPPING WITH SOUND CHANGES SO MUCH. First off, NO MORE "you lure and throw, ill wedding *uses bike horn*" GREENING. Second: THROW IS JUST SO GOOD AS A DAMAGE DEALER. Combined with the lure changes above, you can deal insane damage to .mgrs with it and Lure. You could probably do an entire Litigation Team with just Lure TU and Throw if you wanted. But it doesn't stop there. Something i neglected to mention is how ALMOST EVERY GAG HAS A UTILITY ATTACHED TO IT. Throw's is a 10% damage vulnerability, and it allows you to do so much. Fun fact tho, it used to have that damage vulnerability as a Prestige, and it scaled with each throw used, but only for 1 turn, and this was when throw was second to last, so it was only really useful for Drop. Now only one person needs to use it and it affects EVERYTHING past it. Got a higher level cog in the mix with some easily soundable ones? Just hit it with a cream, and now it takes even more damage! Just soaked and trapped a .mgr for the accuracy boosts on drop? Add one more debuff to boost Prestige Drop even more (with a free stun!)! AND THEN you add the cherry on top of the Wedding Cake, the self heal prestige. This was absolutely a welcome change, taking some of the heat off of TU and unites as your only healing, to the point that I'd say you should always have your Throw Prestiged. My only complaint is that Toons should take a bite out of it and say "Om nom nom" to heal before throwing it if it's prestige.

Squirt: Squirt in TTR, Throw's crappier brother. Squirt in Clash? Oh man. I'll go more into it in Zap's section, but Zap alone gives Squirt so much use. On its own though, it's still very good. Soaking is good as a dodge debuff, setting up for quick drops on Cogs. But the SINGLE change that made Squirt so good is Splash Damage. Before 1.3, Squirt soaking multiple Cogs was stuck behind a Prestige, so you were basically forced to either run Pres Squirt or don't run it at all. Now, however, not only can you soak multiple Cogs, but it deals free, non-unluring damage to the Cogs on the sides! You can effectively just chip away at a lured Cog until you're ready to take it down, which like the Throw/Sound example above, allows you to lower the Cogs to juuuust enough in just the right way to where a specific Sound threshold kills. Unfortunately, Prestige Squirt kinda gets the short end of the stick, since unless you're running a solo building, you kinda don't need it for most situations. idk what they could do to fix that tho, it's still fine on its own, just usually overkill.

Zap: And now, the thing that singlehandedly both gave Squirt a purpose and alienated a ton of TTR elitists for the better or worse. Before 1.3, Zap was fuckin weird. Zap could change direction, but only if it was prestiged, jump over other cogs including dead ones, there was no jump pool, just a specific set of 3 decreasing numbers correlating to the order it jumped to, which led to charts getting made for specific groups- it was a lot to take in. Those who were able to master it were REALLY GOOD at taking down groups, but were also pretty toxic usually (hence the "fuck Zap Camp" comment earlier). Also, it was the same as Squirt: either run it prestiged or not at all, which fed into the toxicity even more. Now though? It's pretty good. It can be a few different things, a decent AoE on 3 Cogs with lower damage on 2 of them, high damage on 2 Cogs, with some thought into aiming based on prestiges (for unprestige, aim directly at the target, for prestige, aim at the opposite target for more damage), or a kill confirm on an already soaked Cog. It's way more user friendly now, and I will say seeing Zap Camp's charts be completely ruined gave me a little schadenfreude. Sorry, this was a little community ranty, I again have bad experiences with some of the older members.

Sound: SOUND IS NO LONGER META. I REPEAT, SOUND IS NO LONGER META. This comes down to Squirt/Zap being good AoE, as well as 2 more changes to Sound itself: 1. Sound swapped with Throw in the gag order (from 1.2 and back, not tto), and 2. Encore and Winded. First, the swap makes it to where if you're using Sound on Lured Cogs, it's less likely to troll, but for a specific reason. And even if it is to troll, there's ways to get around it better, since Throw and Squirt won't be affected now. And then we have Encore and Winded, two sides of the same coin. It's great to use your Encore bonus to deal tons of damage to a single Cog, but you could always risk being winded to take out an even bigger group now at the expense of having to wait to use sound again. This alternating pattern of Sound into anything else, along with the fact that Sound can't just wipe out everything in the game now makes sure Sound isn't necessary to beat most things. It's still kinda meta for Buildings and Facilities, but those are kinda harder to fix. Oh, also the prestige is the same as Trap, bigger number is better.

Drop: Oh boy, another gag with a tumultuous history. I'll go over this in the IOU section (yes im doing rewards), but to be Barry Brief, in the early days of Clash, Drop had a bug that made it do AoE damage, which some toxic players abused to hell and back, cramming Drop into the top spot of gags, before being squashed in the 1.2 OCLO update. As for Drop now, it's a really nice damage dealer. Not so much for normal bosses, where it's typically just a finisher for a big Cog, but for .mgrs it can be devastating given enough setup. Trap, Lure, Squirt, and either TU for accuracy or IOU for damage, then Throw and 3 Drop. Now, if you were running Unprestige Drop, it would only get a slight boost thanks to Throw, and the other gags the turn before were just to make sure it hit. But slap a Prestige on, and a single debuff adds 10% damage, with an extra 5% for each additional debuff, with Throw's vulnerability counting as a debuff, which STACKS with the Prestige boost, so those two turns just got you an additional 20%, on top of what Throw adds on the pile. And then consider Drop has a 30% combo multiplier instead of the usual 20% combo damage, and .mgrs start dying quickly. Most .mgr fights I do, I run Prestige Drop.

And now, onto the rewards.

IOUs: So before 1.3, we still had SOS cards, but these were the trickiest reward to balance, even more than Unites. On the underpowered side, we had the 1.2 SOS: a percentage increase for 2 TURNS. PERIOD. Wanted to setup for Drop? You better do it quick, because if Drop misses on that second turn youre SoL. Not that it'd matter because for a lot of gags it did jack. But then we have the other, darker side. The ORIGINAL SOS CARDS. If you played TTO or TTR, you already know how busted those things were. But do you remember that bug I mentioned making Drop an AoE gag? This is where it originated. SOS Cards inherited the Combo damage dealt to a single Cog and gave it to the rest of the Cogs as well, so you could potentially deal a ton of damage to multiple Cogs just by nuking one with Combo damage and using an SOS to spread it out. Do you remember Rain, that random IOU you get guaranteed in the VP that gives you and a friend a +15 damage boost on your next turn? Yeah they used to be a simple 20 damage Drop SOS you could get (and farm) from Derrick Man. You know, in TTC. Who at the time had only 63 HP, enough for an Opera pre-1.3 to kill in one hit. All that's left is an incentive to use Drop en masse... Oh? Old Drop had increasing Combo damage for every Drop gag used, up to 50%? And every Prestige Drop used added an additional 5% Combo damage, up to 70% with 4 Prestige Drops, or 65% with one person using an SOS? You can probably see where this is going. The only thing holding it back was the fact that it wasnt guaranteed to hit- OH WAIT TOONS HIT EXISTS IN ITS ORIGINAL FORM STILL. It was bad. Like "anyone who deviates from the Meta is bad" bad. I was one such very vocal dissenter of Team Drop, advocating that Throw was a good gag, and I got shit on hard for it, to the point where the people who still had a grudge long after fabricated false accusations and threw me out. Ugh this got too personal, sorry. Where were we? Oh yeah, IOUs! They're pretty good now! The fact that they use flat numbers and last a set amount of GAGS used means that setups are easier than ever, and even if you miss, you can still use it again with the boost! They're good for pumping out big numbers! They also affect things like Throw self heal and Splash Damage, so keep those in mind too! I personally like using a Sid Sonata after firing the first Cog after feeding round in CEOs to save on operas.

Unites: I have mixed feelings on how Unites were handled, but I'll save that for the Forges section. As for Toon-Up Unites in their current state, they're pretty good! The Cooldown is honestly a needed nerf (so much so that TTR has it now lmao), and the fact it's percentage based means the heals are more fair! (though if someone is really underlaffed for a fight, they might still get squashed even with a unite). Pretty gud!

Forges: Rest in Peace, Gag-Up Unites. You were so slept on. Forges are the worse version of Gag-Up Unites. Instead of everyone getting their gags restocked, even by a little at the expense of you specifically getting a decently sized cooldown, you can only restock a single gag at a time, and if that gag is too high, you get put on cooldown. Why. In a vacuum, they're ok, but it just feels wrong. They could have left Gag-Up Alls in the pool and kept them how they were with only level 7s or lower, but no, ALL GAG-UP UNITES MUST GO apparently.

Sues: honestly better than fires, imo. Let me explain. Both Sues and fires remove a Cog from the fight. "But wait!" You say. "Sues dont remove a cog from the fight, they just make a Cog not attack!" In theory, yes, that's all they do. But because they don't attack, they're basically out of the fight. However, they aren't OUT of the fight, meaning they take up a slot. And because they take up a slot, that means you can just ignore it and focus on the other 3 that are there. And guess which gags work very well with 3 Cogs instead of 4. Just remember to give them a tap every now and then and they won't ever bother you. Also iirc theyre meta to deal with oclo phase 1 lmao. However some fights don't let you use them as much, so be careful.

Fires: Despite what I just said, Fires are still really good. It's just their uses are more limited. The main examples I can think of are the first Cog after feeding round in CEO, as stated earlier, the Featherbedder fight, and Major Player's Dance Partners. Killing a Cog instantly is still killing a Cog instantly, after all.

WHEW that was a long one, sorry for the personal bits, I just wanted to share my thoughts on Clash's balance for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got to do so. Clash is in a much better state than it's ever been, and I can't wait to see how things are shaken up later.

Oh, one more thing.

LURE BONUS SUCKS DIIIIIIII- *gets sniped by TTR staff*

That's a whole novel in my inbox holy FUCK

This is a lot to take in and I love it, some gags and rewards just used to be broken like woah?? It's nice to see how much progress Corporate Clash has really went through all these years to balance the game out to become as fun and good as it is today

I was curious about those Gag-Ups after seeing them from a Multislacker fight stream just a year ago because I didn't know they were still around at 1.3, too bad they don't exist anymore 'cause they would be very useful in longer fights such as with Pace (round wise) and Chip. Maybe there's a good reason for the removal balance wise... hopefully

The SOS cards was something I was wondering about too after hearing someone say a long while ago that they wished those were still around, based on this I can see why they were removed though

Also I don't mind the personal tangents at all, I love hearing about the details of personal experiences and opinions as it puts it on perspective on how things were back then as well as adding to my own knowledge of it. Thank you for the very long info dump :]

[crystalelemental]

Okay, for real this time. Unicorn Overlord defeated. There was a bonus chapter. It legitimately feels like a victory lap where every fight was pretty easy to beat. We got Alain's team to level 50. No one else, but like. A lot came close. Anyway! Now that it's definitely 100% over, I wanted to record the teams I used, with some comments on how they did.

Alain/Melisandre, Scarlett/Rosalinde/Nina The ace team. Nina is absurdly strong, Melisandre is a great dodge tank, especially backed by Alain's constant defensive coverage. Alain feels excellent for defense, if crap on offense. He's an excellent general guardian and leader, given the boosted Valor gain and cav movement. Melisandre is wonderful, but I do have to admit, the way I used her she was more an evade tank with incidental offense, rarely getting much out of Meteor Strike but being able to immediately destroy high evasion Scouts. Scarlett's excellent because Innocent Ray removes debuffs from the entire enemy team. Rosalinde did alright, I don't consider her damage output to be peak, but she's definitely great at offense once she gets Elemental Impetus. Nina's hilarious. Sapphire Pentant + Enrage into Assaulting Blow to regain AP every KO. Phenomenal work, girl.

Virginia/Fran, Kitra/Leah/Miriam This team was structured because Knights of the Rose with the descendant and her wife, Leah. The team was always pretty damn strong, though occasionally they'd meet something that would push their entire shit in. I couldn't really tell you why. Fran focused on direct offense rather than Fatal Dive, so great on cavs but otherwise alright. Kitra is Nina again. Leah aimed more for offense, but to be direct, I think she's outright worse off than Melisandre. Evade tanking with Swordmasters doesn't go so well long-term, and offensively, Meteor Strike leaves a lot to be desired, being 2AP and easily Guarded by heavy shields. Their high Initiative works against them, as armors are almost always able to jump in. I have some ideas for Playthrough 2 to test getting them more offensively motivated, but we'll see how it goes. Miriam as a holy knight feels...fine. I admit, I don't think too highly of Holy Knight, I like the magic negation but on a rounded tank like Virginia, it's unnecessary.

Railanor/Ithilion, Eltolinde/Gammel/Galadmir Eltolinde team. Eltolinde herself is very comparable to Rosalinde, having the Elemental Impetus into heavy offense, so I like her setup a lot. I opted for both Fencers due to their regaining 1AP on a successful dodge, and paired them with Gammel, who can spread Blind to a whole row. Galadmir is just some extra damage output and potential freeze to slow down the enemy offensive, because this team is ridiculously frail.

Celeste/Liza/Yunifi, Tatiana/Lhinalagos Second only to Alain. Celeste went for Fatal Dive, which came together excellently once we acquire the Ervelda's Talisman. Column-wide true damage that can't be guarded, uses unique items that most others have significantly less use for, she's great. Liza was excellent the moment she dropped, Sharpshooter might be my favorite underrated class. High shielding, healing, solid damage output; like her stuff a lot. Yunifi was high-risk high-reward. Counterattack focused, hitting three enemies for full damage whenever she dodges or takes a hit. Tatiana had the staff to grant Overheal, pushing Celeste's damage even higher up. Lhinalagos was nice magical damage, and had Ice Arrow to set up a powerful Yunifi follow-up.

Ochlys/Fodoquia/Raenys, Sharon/Auch Ochlys' life is funny. Comes in amazing as a pre-promote, falls off around mid-game when her stats and extra AP/PP aren't as impressive anymore, then comes back doing pretty alright by endgame. I don't think she's excellent, but I like her. Raenys is ridiculous. Her ability to just shred enemy PP is staggering. Fodoquia is all nonsense, outright reflecting magic back at opponents. Sharon is the healer because come on, while Auch...kinda showed up on this team early game to easily manage the first Galarius fight, and just never left. He kept being useful.

Hodrick/Monica, Chloe/Ridiel/Berenice Hodrick and Monica are fantastic. Heavy shield defense, and the ability to negate an entire magical attack thrown at his whopping 1 Mag Def. Chloe showed up on this team early, thanks to her ability to heal Hodrick and keep him tanking early game, and just never left. Ridiel was added for magic damage and because Chloe/Ridiel is good, while Berenice is the persistent physical offense with...I can't remember the name of the skill, but similar to Nina is gives +1AP on a KO.

Hilda/Jerome/Lex, Yahna/Primm A little slapped together, but it works. Hilda has Fire Breath supplemented by an Ice and Freeze effect from Yahna, inflicting two good status conditions on a row. Yahna herself casts Trinity Rain, and Primm has Quick Impetus to get her firing immediately. Lex specifically prevents Hilda from getting bopped by anything, and has the shield that grants max initiate for whoever he's covering, which is usually Hilda or Yahna. Jerome's around. I can't really say much about him, he's fine.

Clive/Adel/Renault, Gilbert/Aramis Cav Charge. Clive, Adel, and Renault all have Cavalry Call as a stackable buff, and then just blitz enemy columns, or regain AP constantly with their variation on what Nina does. Gilbert is excellent for applying Initiative for the team, and then even more attack boosting. Aramis was chosen because I was doing rapport stuff with Gilbert, but if I were to make a switch, it would be to Sanatio. I think the cavs, rather uniquely, would love the Endure effect. They're a hit and miss kind of comp, where the miss usually means the entire front row getting decimated. Sanatio would easily prevent them from taking all that much, thanks to the block to an clean KO.

Berengeria/Gloucester/Travis, Mandrin/Selvie This team never took off. I blame that partially on mobility, resulting in their level falling behind the curve and just never catching up. The rest is that I think some of these components are a problem. Berengeria herself is excellent, but really wants the opponent to have some kind of detrimental condition. Travis was set to be that condition, with row-wide Blind. Gloucester can also Burn a whole row and has good offensive pressure. The problem is really in the back row. Mandrin offered nothing of particular interest to the team, just kind of existing, while Selvie can debuff but isn't really doing anything novel. Like, Travis doing his job means the offense debuffs aren't necessary, and Selvie is competing openly with Beregeria for a good on-entry skill. I might split them up next run.

General Impressions You may notice, no Bestrals. That's because by that phase of the game I was super stuck on my current teams and just wanted to progress, stopping only for some favorites and tests that I felt important. As a result...I literally don't know what they do. I intend to fix that on round 2, their actual skills didn't seem too influenced by this whole day/night cycle thing. In particular, Ramona sounds ridiculously good. Flying means evasion, and evasive healers are great, but having one that also supplies good PP control is divine.

I really like how most of these teams came out. There are a few I felt were a bit low-effort, but it wasn't enough to make them detrimental. I'd like to experiment a bit more with alternate combinations, and focus on different strengths. Some major goals are: making Meteor Strike Melisandre a damage focus of a team (the plan is Aubin's War Horn), testing out Bestrals generally, actually playing with more staff effects, and getting a team that actually uses Selvie that I'm happy with. I like debuffs! I should like this class, but everywhere I put her I just felt it wasn't that great! I don't know what happened, I know they can be devastating, I've faced them!

I'll be picking up Round 2 shortly. Want to catch up on Dungeon Meshi and Frieren with my wife, but will likely start a new playthrough tomorrow morning. I might try a harder difficulty. Normal was fairly simple to clear, and I don't really know what changes with difficulty selection, but it might put a bit more pressure on my comps. I'd at least like to try.

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 1.6 Review, Continued: Scotty flirts, BJ is spanked, and Kelvin says "Let's hook up."

This is a continuation of Episode 1.6 Review: Kelvin sees Keefe's cock, and gets a big head.  Sounds like a fun evening

Earlier in this episode we saw a lot of innuendos about Kelvin and Keefe's relationship going to the next level.  Now it's time to concentrate on Gideon and Scotty.

They are very rude: Since the van is gone, Scotty has to live in a tent. Why doesn't Gideon spring for a cheap hotel?   Gideon tries to help him set it up, but he goes dark again: "I'm tired of this shit, and I'm tired of your fucking family! They are very rude people!"  But at least he looks hot in a black vest with no shirt.

"It's in my uncle's garage," Gideon tells him.  Completely ransacked, with all of Scotty's stuff taken.  Scotty is irate: he needed that stuff!

Cut to Jesse and Kelvin informing the crew that they have the van. Inside they found a sleeping bag, tongs, a copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics (so Scotty is a Scientologist?), some potato chips, some beans, soiled Q-Tips, and yellow, crusty paper towels. Conclusion: the blackmailers are "fucking amateurs."

Suddenly all of them get a phone call from Scotty.  He wants his van and his stuff back, or "I'm a fuck your life in the ass."  I'm surprised no one riffed on that.  "I'm a release the video."  Scotty and Gideon clasp hands.

Jesse doesn't think he has the video, and tells him to fuck off.

My Slim 3: After scenes with Baby Billy and Judy at the Salvation Center, rehearsing. and Jesse and his crew (without Kelvin) throwing their ceremonial coins into the swamp, we return to the campground.  Gideon has brought lunch for the two of them (Subway-type hoagies). but Scotty goes beserk, destroys his sandwich, and yells that he's going over to the Compound right now to kill Jesse.  Gideon points out that this will keep them from getting the millon dollars.  Scotty gives up the plan, and grabs Gideon's sandwich, a "Slim 3."

Kelvin comes out on top: Meanwhile, no doubt as a reward for his success with Dot Nancy, Eli has assigned  Kelvin the job of learning enough Swahili to greet the Kenyan refugees who will be welcomed into the church on Sunday   He's already learned fuju karibu, which means "mess around," "have sex."  (He wanted karibu, welcome."  Uh-oh.)  Judy disapproves, and physically assaults Kelvin. 

Why Kenya, when it's a haven for refugees, not a source  (it's the 13th largest asylum country in the world, with 650,000 refugees)?  Maybe because Swahili is the most well-known African language (viewers might not recognize Hausa or Xhosa). Or because it's 60% Protestant, so joining the Salvation Center makes sense. 

Jambo instead of Karibu: After a scene where Jesse tries to reconcile with Gideon (they admit that they "like" each other), we cut to the church.  As the Kenyan refugees file onto the stage. Kelvin says "Jambo!" and tries to make small talk with each ("I like your outfit!"), and Keefe hands each a white rose.  Two takeaways here: Kelvin is pushing up the flamboyance, and he and Keefe are already inseparable. 

Meanwhile, Eli yells at Baby Billy for stealing his daughter ("Just like you took Aimee-Leigh").  The incest runs hot and heavy with these guys.

The full review, with a nude Kenyan bonus, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I haven't really made a post going into my thoughts on Sonic Superstars yet but I think they're pretty brief so ig I'll do that now, full game spoilers and all that.

I think the base story mode is pretty alright, levels have nice enough theming and some fairly interesting gimmicks, the length is enough to easily replay the thing in a single sitting which I love in my 2D Sonic, the levels that make you play as a certain character are really good opportunities to let the level designers build something specifically for that character which is really nice, also a good opportunity to add some variety to a playthrough if you've not been switching characters on your own time (switching on your own time is also great btw). The pacing is pretty off though, most zones have 2 acts but some have 3 and there's a regular zone just in the middle of the game with only 1 act, it can feel downright random whether an act is gonna end in a boss fight or not, and there's even a schmup stage in there since I guess that's a thing Sonic games love now. I definitely think the stages are more hits than misses but there are absolutely zones I wish I saw more of and zones I wish I saw less of, and I really don't imagine myself looking forward to a few of them on a replay.

Really hate the boss fights, there's a few solid ideas for some of them and they're definitely the most elaborately designed boss fights in any of the classic styled games, but they take so fucking long and have such ridiculously long invincibility frames (the animation for which ends several full seconds before you can damage them again btw so that can feel cheap and impossible to meaningfully read), and other than like one or two of the Chaos Emerald abilities you can't really do anything to speed them up, which just feels lame. Conventions of game design suggests this might be better than bosses where you just spam 8 hits on them before they can even get an attack out but at least those bosses don't test my patience in a game about going fast.

I think the new special stages are okay, it's nice that they're a wholly new concept and you definitely can play skillfully and beat them super duper quickly, as well as do micro-decision making in terms of oh chase the Emerald or potentially lose time grabbig rings, it's neat, buuuuut they're just not really very fun lol. I did play bonus stages early on and they mimick the Sonic 1 special stages but the physics are so different that I couldn't get used to them. Oh well. The reward for bonus stages, as well as some special stages depending on the ring type, as well as most exploration in general, is medals, which are used to customise your character for the battle mode (this character also appears as a boss in the story mode which is actually cool as fuck since hey if you wanna give yourself a Metal Knuckles boss fight or something you can), and like they can feel decently rewarding to collect until you realise it's an absolute fucking grind to actually get enough of them to really buy anything in bulk in said character customisation thing, especially because for some reason if you buy something in there you don't just have it now, they're like limited resources, if I buy red and use it on the arms then I am now out of red, gotta grind to buy more, gotta buy red like 4 or 5 times to make my Metal Knuckles. It's lame. In general I think medals are only really rewarding if you actually intend to do multiplayer stuff, which I don't not get, but I wish they were good for single player too. I mean hey the game has character skins, why not let you get some of those with medals? Nah kill yourself dude character skins are for preordering the game or buying digital deluxe or signing up for newsletters or shit. Trip doesn't even get any. I think skins could be a pretty rewarding game system if they were implemented as such but instead it's just a "did you spend more money" check. Lame.

Uhh, Chaos Emerald powers. They're okay. I think they're a solid enough idea to add some more depth to a classic Sonic game and let it stand out from others, and they're generally still simple enough to fit what you'd expect from the design philosophies of these games. But they're also largely pretty situational, and a few of them I may as well have never even used. The game does prompt you to use the less useful one sometimes which is neat, like oh hey you designed the section with this ability in mind, let's see how it works out. And that's kinda fun. But I could take them or leave them. It seems like you can only get one Chaos Emerald per zone which I do think sucks, since it means hey here's an ability you won't get until near the end of the game and so can't really take advantage of it on your first playthrough at all, which is just a bit boring. You also can't switch abilities while using them and they're all on a countdown, so if I like accidentally use vine then I just can't use another ability I'd actually want to use until like 10 seconds later, which is a bit annoying. Super forms not being able to use the other Chaos Emerald powers also feels like a missed opportunity to make them feel really powerful. Oh well. On that note I hate Super Trip btw, she takes the form of a large dragon who just does not interact with the rest of the game in a fun way, she has her own control system that's just really cheap feeling directional flight with no physics and that moves super slowly. She can skip platforming and stuff by way of flying, but she'll also break out of automation and you need to find your way back into said automation. Just feels actively less fun and not even a satisfying power Trip (HA) for the gameplay sacrifices.

On Trip though, I like her as a playable character enough. Also as an actual character in that she is very cute. But as a playable character she has a nice double jump and can stick to walls and ceilings and roll across them which is nice. Once you beat the story mode and unlock her I recommend going through it again with Trip this time. I don't recommend doing Trip's Story, which is all the worst stereotypes of classic Sonic design fully realised. Were you going too fast and couldn't see that enemy? Get hit asshole. Was there no conveyance about whether that jump is safe to make? Die asshole. Are there spikes literally fucking everywhere? Get pricked asshole. "Sonic is inherently bad because you move too fast to react to oncoming obstacles" has always been a criticism of the series I've felt was in bad faith and isn't even reflected in any of the classic titles, and yet here we are with Trip's Story doing all of it. There's just so much enemy and spike and bottomless pit spam right out the fucking gate, it doesn't feel like an actual difficulty spike either it just feels like a troll level. It is actively frustrating to go through and actively unsatisfying to beat. It's not even like that design philosophy accommodates Trip to begin with so it just feels fucking bizarre. Actually didn't mind the giant robot Fang boss fight but the insta-kill attacks are pretty lame and him getting a "I'm going to smash the stage and make the ground fall" attack at the end of the fight with very poor telegraphing is pretty cringe.

Reward for beating Trip's Story and also that you have all the Chaos Emeralds by now is Last Story, which is a Super Sonic fight against a giant purple dragon. Super Sonic final boss fights are already kinda weird in that they're usually cool as all fuck as setpieces but from a gameplay perspective make you learn a new style in the final hour which is pretty questionable, but I'd say they're usually familiar or intuitive enough to be acceptable and certainly a fair level of challenge, moreover the player usually has good control over the pacing of these fights, such that you can get actually get better at them and do them faster and with a higher finishing ring count, stuff like that. I say all this because that last part just isn't true for Superstars' Super Sonic final boss. Rings basically appear at fucking random so good luck feeling like you've got any control over the timer, which wouldn't strictly be a huge deal but the thing is the boss only has 2 attacks per phase in which you can actually deal damage to him and yet has like 6 attacks in the first place as well as things that are not attacks at all but are full animations he does just for the hell of it during which you can't damage him. And these attacks don't hurt you either since you're Super Sonic. So the boss, naturally, consists largely of waiting. Waiting through attacks there's literally no incentive to dodge until you can get to the point where you do attack him. Rinse and repeat. You won't ever feel like you're getting better, just that you're getting luckier. The boss didn't do this attack on this run. Tails flew by with rings more often. Your game didn't bug and freeze you in the death animation and render you invisible for a time this attempt. And hey, if you do fail, gotta sit through the whole like 6-8 minute fight again. It's bad. It is actively unfun. Doesn't feel cool, doesn't feel rewarding, narratively it's barely anything, for some reason Amy doesn't get to appear even though Tails and Knuckles do, it's just shit and a test of patience. Much as I don't like the bosses in the rest of the game I can at least say "well they are built for multiplayer so maybe that's why they take so long" but the final boss is a single player only gig so that defence doesn't even work. It just sucks.

I think the game looks nice enough on platforms that run it fine, unfortunately I'm on Switch. The music is either pretty good or really bad depending. I haven't played couch co-op yet but I did an online battle mode run and it's like, not the most bare-bones thing in the world but I also cannot even imagine being able to get invested into it. Greatest credit I can give it is giving us designs for Metal Tails and Metal Amy, and even throwing in a Metal Trip for the hell of it and fucking Metal NiGHTS too, badass. I'd like to see Trip again.

Maybe like, 6/10, or 6.5 or something. Doesn't really compare to any of the games it's emulating and certainly not to Mania, but it's still decent fun for the main story mode and they are trying to do new stuff. There's already rumours it'll be getting DLC, I have no strong feelings on this one way or the other. Playable Mighty and Ray wouldn't be bad though. Penis chat.

[annakie]

So, some thoughts and screenshots on the first few hours of BG3 --

Indyara is my Half-Elf Bard. She's a character I have played in several D&D games, wanting to find a game where her backstory mattered and we actually finished the game. I'm actually in that game right now, playing every other Saturday morning, though there was one other game it... almost worked out for her.

Bard is my favorite D&D class, going back to when I played one in a 3/3.5e game for several years in the early 2000's, and I played BG1 & 2 with one.

Decently high CHA (16) but not sacrificing INT, DEX, and CON (14) while having a bad WIS (9) and STR (8). Let's see how that works out for her.

High Half-elf for that sweet CHA bonus and getting Firebolt, so I have an actual useful damaging cantrip. (Do not ask me for my diatribe about why everyone is wrong about Vicious Mockery being a good spell unless you want an earful.)

Absolutely fuming that they still are leaving the version number up and it's visible in screenshots. Cannot believe that oversight. Also that they leave menu buttons visible in cutscenes, what the fuck Larian? Found out last night that apparently hitting f10 should stop that, but that removes the entire UI and obviously you need to turn it back on. But for now my entire first day's of screenshots and videos look like ass and I'm mad about it.

Lots of screenshots and commentary below the cut. I didn't make it too far in-game and honestly I don't talk about the plot much.

Hey, look lady, we're both stuck here. Indy is very patient and diplomatic, whatever it takes to make it through every day as unscathed as possible, but this one might try that patience. At least she's useful. Let's see if we can make a friend.

Indy did save Shadowheart from her pod, but the way she and Lae'zel bicker is already giving her a headache.

Well this certainly is a development, and I'm sure whoever these two are will be completely unimportant in the hours to come.

I told myself I wasn't going to savescum when I failed a roll, but look, I'm not about to let Indyara Nat 1 on a CHARISMA check about magic when she very first meets the future love of her life. I reloaded this one.

Indy's initial impression on meeting Gale: a few seconds of "Wait, THIS is the one I'm going to fall in love with?" met with "Oh. I get it." a few seconds later. Very smart, polite, charming and funny? Sign me up, please.

Plus, we look great in screenshots together.

(Indy's hair is definitely lighter in sunlight than I intended, her hair was supposed to be brown with pink streaks (for bardic flair) but it comes out looking dark honey in direct sun. Ah well.)

A few minutes later though "Wait, this one is as charming and me, and extremely heroic? Are you SURE we made the right choice? They're both great. Can't we have them both?"

(Sorry Indy, we don't need two high-CHA characters in the main party. He's saved for another playthrough.)

Oh come ON. This isn't fair. Another one?

Poly mod... when? Or at least a list of who is officially OK with poly in-game? Shadowheart is growing on me, too, after a bit of a rough introduction.

I'm sorry, Astarion. I already took a level dip in rogue to be the party trap/lock skill monkey since we're bringing along the Wizard, Cleric and, for now at least, the fighter. (We'll see how long that lasts. This game needs more tank companions. Though I don't mind companions that are challenging, generally.)

I love having a camp again. Need better camp clothes, though, for all of us. I did do the Twitch Stream unlock thing, but haven't found those rewards in-game yet. Anyone?

Literally already started unlocking the Gale romance by the time I was just wandering around the Emerald Grove area. He loves almost every decision I make and I'm glad of it.

...of course there's a catch.

Hahahaha holy shit, Volo! I love being a bard in this game and loved bullshitting Volo, and he loved knowing he was getting bullshitted.

See, wasn't this a nice time, ladies, listening to this other bard sing? Let's have less bickering, more listening to Bards. <3

Astarion... I'm just not into Vampires. At least not with this character. Still, I like you. I wish I could have offered to help him find food here instead of just sending him away, but I let him down easy.

Indy found a cute hat at camp and is wearing the FUCK out of it. I mean look at her! And it helps with song of rest! (though it does considerably shorten her hair, but hey, it's a MAGIC hat so that's just part of the magic.)

I've played a Larian game or two before so I picked up Speak with Animals as one of my first level spells and do not regret it. However, I feel like I didn't help this Owlbear enough, though I let her and her cub be. Probably missed out on something cool here. Again, I'll pick it up in another playthrough. I'm trying to not google for answers to every puzzle this time and just play through blind.

OH HOLY SHIT WHAT DID I WALK IN ON. I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU AND FOR ME.

Oh no, Gale is into some other woman... oh wait that's Mystra. I get it, you're a wizard. And I'm a smart Lore bard who's also very into magic so uh, let's make some magic happen? Also, sorry we got this cutscene when Gale was at like 2hp so he's all bruised up. I love that it shows on the character models though.

Ohhh wait you DO want to make magic together? I'm down with that, and got to put bardic flourishes on all my responses to Gale's instructions. I LOVE this game, I LOVED this scene. Though I hate what the magic VFX did to Indy's face here.

Oh my God, is this the first flirt scene!?! Tell me it's the first flirt scene!!

I imagined slipping my hand into his hand on a romantic walk and... he liked it. This was very, very sweet. And getting to flirt over a shared love of magic was... *chef's kiss*

I'm also making great progress with Shadowheart. Okay, we can be BFFs. <3

Things to come indeed, Gale.

----

In Early Access I didn't get very far and honestly I think last night I made it about as far as I ever made then, or close to it. I basically went "Whelp I love this game, I don't want to spend my time playing through this now when I can go through it fresh later in like a year." (and then it was THREE, but that's fine.)

I'm fighting Phase Spiders but fuck that, I might come back when we all hit level 4. That fight sucked. I am trying to make "good" choices but have probably really screwed some stuff up. i feel bad that Astarion and Wyll get left at camp but they don't fit into my party makeup (I think I'll do a Paladin next and bring both of them along instead of Gale and Lae.)

Absolutely love all of the chances to shortcut quests and fights by Barding / persuading / lying my way out of it. So few things I don't love so far, though I definitely feel like I'm stumbling my way through the dark, not knowing if I'm doing the right things.

Can't wait to do almost nothing this weekend but play BG3. A full day of work, first, though. :(

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 2005

DOOMGUY AND THE REVENGE OF THE HELLISH GOBLET OF CHOCOLATE – REVENANT AWARDS 2005 EDITION

Since 2005, I have been a waste of air and space on this God-forsaken planet (but not as much as some of the other losers you will see being laughed at on the Internet) for the entire decade. In the same year, the Doom franchise reached twelve years of existence by that point. Not to mention the second Cacowards appearing in 2005. So why won’t we take a look at the WADs that were rewarded to some degree by that award ceremony in the rip-off of mine?

SOLE SURVIVOR – BEST ONE-MAP LONG WAD OF THE YEAR

Choosing the winner for this award was kind of tough; not only due to it having five contestants, but all of these maps having at least one incredible thing (for the 2005 standards) to offer. On the other hand, most of these maps have annoying shit in them. Jägermörder 2 looks and plays incredibly well in spite of six years of hell development, but the beginning part of this map is such hitscanner-filled bullshit that it has a chance to make you not want to play the rest of it. HeDRoX is really good on its own, but it kind of fades in when placed next to the rest of the one-map WADs of 2005. And Temple of Chaos 2 has a gimmick that does incredibly well... over the cost of fair difficulty, unfortunately.

So now we are left with Dutch Devil’s two maps – Altar of Evil and Total Control. Both are really good, both are equal when it comes to quality, and both have similar background areas when you look at the window (without counting what surrounds the map) but if I have to choose one, I will give the award to Altar of Evil. Simply because it doesn’t have hitscanners. And also because it has custom monsters as a bonus.

PUG-OF-PINK – BEST 2-7 MAPS-LONG WAD OF THE YEAR

When it comes to the Vanilla section of this award, there isn’t really that much to offer since both For Whom the Bell Tolls and Suspended in Dusk are basically fine WADs. But at least I can say that the former WAD doesn’t have obnoxiously tight mazes or annoyingly painful to listen new sound effects. And for these reasons, For Whom the Bell Tolls gets the award in the Vanilla section. Suspended in Dusk might look like a masterpiece but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not really that fun to play.

As for the source port section, Hi-Tech Hell 2 - Alien Tech gets the award too (by default though). I could care less about the plot in this WAD along with the cutscenes, but Alien Tech is rather fun to play and looks incredible by the standards it was released.

Comparing these two winners, Alien Tech gave me more fun than For Whom.  

FULL DECK OF DIAMONDS – BEST 30-32 MAPS-LONG MEGAWAD OF THE YEAR

Karma Shawarma better be thankful for winning this award in the Vanilla section by default. Now look, I’m not saying that this MegaWAD is bad ‘cause it’s not. It looks impressive by the vanilla standards and has some really good levels in it (especially Stairway to Heaven), but it’s targeted closer to the people who eat a bunch of slaughter maps for breakfast in a row. Not to mention how the reasons behind this MegaWAD getting Mockaward still baffle me, but I already ranted about it in my review of this WAD.

And as for the source port section, the choice between Scythe 2 and Congestion 1024 couldn’t be more obvious and one-sided: Scythe 2 easily gets the award in this section. It’s just a great MegaWAD that doesn’t feel polarizing like Congestion 1024 was (although that WAD project had some strong moments too). Not to mention being a great sequel to the original Scythe WAD.

And yes, Scythe 2 gave me MUCH more fun than Korn Shoe.

OFF THE WALL – BEST PARTIAL/TOTAL CONVERSION WAD OF THE YEAR

Another case where one WAD is much superior to another. In this case, it’s Simplicity gaining the award over Happy Time Circus. Happy Time Circus might be the most unique map in this roster but unfortunately, it is just an okay map at its best, with a strong start and ending, and an utterly tiring rest of it. Simplicity is just incredible and you should check it out, like immediately.

OTHER AWARDS

There is one last WAD to reward. And that is Crimson Canyon earning the Platinum Revenant award for the best 10-19 maps long WAD/MegaWAD of the year. It doesn’t really distinguish itself from other WADs/maps but on its own, it does a good job. And also, since I forgot to mention it in my review, I like the fluent transition between the maps.

CONCLUSION

And that’s all for the 2005 edition of the Revenant Awards. Another year of WADs from the 2000s decade done. Time to take another week-long break before returning back to making WAD reviews. But not with the 2006 roster of WADs, but with Perdition's Gate (if I manage to launch it since it is a really old, archaic WAD).

I’ll see you in the future.

Bye!

[jaythelay]

The thing is, why would you want to be a Teacher?

Lemme put it to you this way, ya go to college to learn to teach kids and think it's gonna be a good time. Turns out the pay is dogshit and the working conditions unmanageable. The fuckin janitor makes more than you with more time off.

That is just a recipe for hiring and creating abusers. If mcdonald's was a daycare, they'd pay more Knowing it'd keep abusers and riff raff away and increase chances of a good candidate. Y'know, to be around children without parental supervision for hours n hours? Might be worth being strict with who you hire?

My solution is fire all teachers, raise pay, lower classroom sizes, more time off for student and teacher alike, take a year to close schools to rehire. Then we gotta work on that silly ol' "Children are being shot dead in school" problem. Y'know, if that ever becomes important to america.

As is, if ya raise pay ya just gave a bonus to the job that enables, creates, and rewards abuse, filled with established abusers. They will not give up their job benefit of being able to excert too much control over children just because conditions and pay are better, it's apart of the job to abuse children and they will continue to no matter what. Fire em.

As far as how kids are behaving today compared to my time, which was dreadfully peaceful and thus easier for staff to abuse children, I imagine it has to do with dogshit staff and dogshit conditions and dogshit protection alongside dogshit education and while boomers scream about the sanctity of life (clumps of cells in other people's bodies) they're also ensuring even more escalatory school shootings to keep growing.

So you're forced to be somewhere filled with abusers, surrounded by enablers, and timmy's dad hit timmy a lil too hard and now he's got a gun in school. Yeah I'd not take anything seriously in school either, it's an absolute fucking joke, we made a place to force children into that is now a pachinko machine of "Who Dies? And How Horrifically?"

We just had a non-binary child murdered in school and governor and principal alike danced on their grave. Cmon. Tell me otherwise at this point that school isn't a pachinko "who dies?" filled with established abusers. When the government is helping a child be murdered, school no longer is safe for your child. Simple as.

Don't get me started on how we handled Covid, we just doomed a generation to not taking diseases seriously by forcing them back to public school practically in the middle of the pandemic. Fucking stupid shit. Oh and if your gram gram died of covid? Best bet a kid is gonna blame school if they manage a thought that far. I would. Absolutely I would. THE place for diesease to spread and ya forced children into it to spread back to their homes killing family. I'm speechless. But don't take it seriously folks! It's just the flu! Just send your kids into the disease machine to come home with it! This place isn't a fucking joke at all!

No your anecdotal "Cool Reddit Teacher" is not common, they are uncommon and usually in well running blue states. Not red states or dying blue states. If you're in a good school, congrats on the unicorn, just understand that unicorn ain't anything but a severe rarity I guarantee only you can relate to.

I kinda approve of how the youth are in school tbh. No room for a teacher to try and fuck with you because their life is more miserable than your child-self's own. Just saying, if ya want the respect of your students, be a better person?

Or accept the system is so fundamentally broken that the generation you're dealing with has already got more to deal with in their future than a doubling of your past. Your dumbass ain't the target in a school shooting 9/10 times. You're paid. They're wasting their time being in absolute danger.

Undeniably they're wasting their time, since anytime the topic of teaching 'how to write checks' is met with "but you'd sleep through it" Good point, cancel education folks, the teacher just said their job is frivilous and I say we listen to them this one time.

Clearly this topic was solely about checks and not the demonstrably broken system we have in place that doesn't prepare you for quite literally anything. Cool place to end a topic, cancel school because no one actually uses it, got ya. Smart. (This happens so often I'm convinced it's an open secret between teachers that they just want the power, since money or education clearly ain't apart of it)

Regardless, not everywhere teaches the same things and as a teacher that shouldn't have evaded your awareness, but it did, because it further helps normalize and enable how you treat people with no way to defend themselves. If education isn't important, then what is? Obviously, abuse. Otherwise you'd not make my point more abundant by doubling down your belief that kids are stupid and the problem (and thus are deservedly abuseable, just finishing your thought.)

Sincerely believe parents told their kids "Don't take any shit from teachers, they fucked with me and my friends all the time, fuck with them back." and ya'll gotta deal with it. Sucks if you're caught in the crossfire...but like...you chose the job that creates abusers and dead children? A place that enables bullying and eggs bullies to target specific kids? Not sure why you'd be upset at your own decision making- like you probably went to this school? Wait, you weren't targeted and had everyone supporting you? Oh that's why you have the wrong opinion about school, makes sense now.

Anyways fuck public school, teachers are barely more trustable than a cop. Kids are uppity because there's no point to being in a dangerous place that admits it has no purpose and given the conditions, only hires and retains abusers, in a system dying from R interference, they elect to blame the children, for the job they chose not to really fight for when it mattered politically.

Yeah nah, I'm still on the side of the little scared people who don't know enough about the world to recognize that their neurodivision causes an untold amount of rage in your fucking entire body to the point ya try getting them arrested and start stalking them to the point of them becoming a NEET, and these days, your ass is on "THE" list and my ass is laughing at it, thank ya for coming to this deliberately awful ted talk, believe children over teachers pls. There's little point not to given being a teacher or cop is less respectable than being a janitor tbh.

Also google Kids4Kash and see how fucking bad it got in my time. I have no sympathy for teachers today. Sucks, but ya'll ensured parents told their kids to stand up to you. Maybe next time find a better career than child abuser if ya can't handle it? Just a thought. :) Better, respectable career options is all. :) Try becoming a Veteranarian? :) Oh wait, too much empathy/sympathy required for that, guess ya gotta be homeless. oh well.