#might add to this later the longer im here

[acestragedy]

Ace's Intro Post

Achilles/Ace, 19, he/him real trans man, new to kink stuff

Minors DNI, have some sort of age signifier in bio or intro

mainly into detrans/misgen, misogyny, free use/cnc and hypno but I'll probably end up posting other stuff as well

think im more of a dom in kink but im not opposed to rbing sub stuff

asks and dms are open, feel free to chat :>

Limits: minors, scat, diaper play, ageplay/ddlg/daddy as a title, feederism, feet, medical stuff, me sending pictures or personal information, and me being misgendered/detrans towards me

[rafeandonlyrafe]

accused (part two)

words: 1k

warnings: established relationship, accusations of stealing, protective!rafe (hes such a good boyfriend <3)

followed (part one) / accused (part two)

“hi.” you smile, cheeks slightly blushed.

“hello, beautiful.” rafe doesn't give you time to be nervous, pulling you into a hug.

you relax into his hold, taking a deep inhale and exhale as your cheek rests against his chest, remembering the solace you found in his arms when you needed it most.

“excited?” rafe asks.

“we are just getting ice cream together.” you giggle.

“yeah, sure.” rafe joins in your laughter, loving the way it sounds in his ears. “but it's an ice cream date.”

“does that mean you're gonna kiss me goodnight?” you look at the rapidly setting sun. 

“of course.” rafe loops your hands together, guiding you towards the line to order.

-- 6 months later --

“missed you.” you wrap your arms around rafes shoulders, pulling him down into a strong kiss.

“missed you too, baby.” rafe doesn't point out that it's only been a couple days, having to spend the weekend apart as you were out of town with your parents.

“what are your plans?” rafe asks, hands gently massaging up and down your back.

“hanging out with you all day-”

“and night.” rafe interrupts you, smirking.

“anyways, then shopping with the girls tomorrow. we might also go out for dinner.” you shrug.

“sounds fun.” rafe nods. “just staying on the island though, right?” rafe knows you usually like to go inland or up the coast to shop, but that's usually a longer planned trip.

“mhm. just gonna hit all those little boutiques.” you shake your head, “but i dont wanna talk about tomorrows plans.”

“what do you wanna talk about then, sweetheart?” rafe asks.

“don't wanna talk.” you admit shyly. “just wanna kiss you.”

rafe bends down, lifting you up with large hands under his thighs, rushing up the stairs. “we can definitely do that, baby.

--

“that looks so cute on you!” you squeal, grabbing your friend giannas hand and pulling her over to the mirror.

“i love it!” she gushes before checking the pricetag. “only $85, im absolutely buying it.”

“oh, girl that's a steal!” you nod. 

“it's not like you don't have rafes credit card.” tina rolls her eyes, but there's a smile on her face to convey she's not serious.

“he says to buy whatever i want, as long as i give him a fashion show when i get home.” you say as gianna heads back into the changing room to get back into her clothes.

you pull out your phone to text rafe an update as tina does the same to her boyfriend.

hey rafeyyy miss you! shopping is going so well 💕 I think we're gonna hit up like two or three more stores and then ill be home!

alright, princess. have fun. see you real soon ❤️

“can i take some of the dresses?” the voice makes you jump, not even realizing that the shop owner was standing in front of gianna, hand outstretched.

“uh, yeah.” she hands over two of the hangers. “im not getting these two.”

the owner makes a disgruntled face, looking over the other two dresses gianna is still holding. “where's the other dress?”

“what dress?” you interject.

“yeah, she only tried on four.” tina adds.

“well, i saw five go in. you'll have to empty your bag.”

gianna is only wearing a small purse, no way a dress would even fit inside of it, but that's not the point, it's the principle that counts.

“hell no!” you say. “check the security cameras if you want, but we aren't allowing you to search us.”

“really?” the shop keepers eyebrows rise, like she expected you to just bow your head since you're a group of younger girls. “i guess you'll just have to pay for the dress i saw go into the dressing room and didn't come out. its $500.”

you pull out your phone, furiously messaging rafe and sending him your location.

“you messed with the wrong person.” tina shakes her head.

“and here, i don't want these either.” gianna hands the owner the other two dresses, even the one she loved.

“yeah, we will never shop here again.” tina says.

“we don't need thieves like you, anyways!” she grabs the dresses. “just pay for the one you're trying to steal and get out!”

you're sure if she pulled this scam on other people that they'd just get sick of the arguing and pay up, but you're absolutely refusing to play into her little game.

you smile as you hear the door open then slam closed, turning to see rafe with an angry look on his face.

“thank god you're here, rafe. this lady is trying to say we're stealing from her but refuses to watch the security cameras.” you inform him.

“is that so?” rafe looks around the shop. 

“rafe…” the shop keeper mumbles, trying to figure out why she knows the name. “you're rafe cameron?”

“yeah.” he crosses his arms. “like cameron development cameron. you know, the ones who own this entire block? including your landlords?” rafe tsks, shaking his head side to side. “i wonder what my dad would say if he knew you were accosting his son's girlfriend.”

“im-im sorry. i think this is all a big misunderstanding.” the owner quickly quoted, rushing away back to the counter.

“gianna, tina, you girls okay?” rafe asks.

“yeah.” tina twirls her hair around her finger, making you give her a quick glare.

“all good, thanks rafe.” gianna nods.

“lets get you girls out of here.” rafe wraps his arm around your shoulder, leading you out of the shop. 

he presses a kiss to the top of your head once you're outside, leading you a couple steps away from your friends. “want to keep shopping? or are you done?”

“maybe…” you pout your lower lip out and look up at rafe. “maybe you could come with us to the next couple shops?”

rafe can't control the smile that stretches over his cheeks. “id be more than happy to, baby.”

you let out a little squeal, pressing your lips against his cheek. “i hate to say it, but thank god that guy followed me that day. cause i got the best boyfriend ever out of it.”

sfw taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie

[bbyobbyo]

You don’t usually wake up at the same time as Jihoon, but he definitely makes sure that you wake up with him everyday.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon x non-idol!reader, domesticity, spotify as a plot point lol

wc: 1.6k

note: inspired by this reddit post which i thought was 100% something jihoon would do especially now that i know he uses spotify lol. i feel like im the only one who finds it hardest to write for their bias, i get really in my head about whether or not im portraying him in the way I want to. i’ve never written idol!au either (bc i think it’s easy to overdo) which only adds to me overthinking ahhhh but hope that you guys enjoy this one !! as always feedback or comments are appreciated 🥰 I read all of them and they make me so happy hehe

[read pt.2 here!]

Jihoon swears there's something magical about waking up to a calm and quiet morning. The sun is barely just rising, blanketing the world in a soft twilight that cuts the dark blues of the waning night. And in his bed, he finds something equally as magical: your soundly sleeping figure next to him. The world is silent except for your steady breaths, and he has to take extra caution to not fall asleep again if just to enjoy the brief moments of tranquility like this during his otherwise busy life. Eventually he gets up to start his schedule for the day, taking one last look at your peaceful slumber in fondness before he closes the door behind him.

Make no mistake, Jihoon loves his job. Having 13 members in his group is fantastic, except when you realize that 13 people requiring styling and wardrobe before every public appearance takes a lot of time. His mornings may start early, but in reality most of his time is spent listening to music in salon chairs and dozing off in waiting rooms.

In fact, it was in the middle of getting his makeup done when he discovered that around 8:20 am every day, his Spotify (which he uses to listen to his daily Bruno Mars Mix playlist) stops playing on his phone and switches to… the speaker at home? He bought a new speaker a few days ago because the last one you had was on its last legs from years of use, but if it’s malfunctioning already then he might have to look into getting a new speaker sooner than he thought.

Upon closer observation, Jihoon also notices that the song has changed — it’s playing one of his songs, your favorite one actually. Immediately he realizes what happened. He contemplates shooting you a text to tell you to disconnect him and just sync your own Spotify account to the speaker, you’re home more often than him anyway. That thought quickly disappears, however, as he imagines you getting ready for work listening to the sound of his voice and genuinely enjoying the music that he pours his heart and soul into, he can’t bring himself to disturb you even for a moment. His eyes soften as he stares blankly at the Spotify home screen, headphones now deafeningly silent. Surely, Jihoon decides, he can live without his Bruno Mars Mix for just a while longer.

-

You sometimes wonder if your boyfriend is magic. Although a good morning text has been standard in your relationship since the beginning, it's starting to concern you how perfectly timed it is.

Normally, your morning routine is simple. Wake up. Get out of bed. Bump some tunes. Check your notifications. Brush teeth. Wash face. Get dressed. Pack bag. Leave the house.

You’re usually the one to text him good morning given your later wake up time, yet he’s been beating you to it lately. Yes, he knows you set your alarm 8:15 everyday because it's “the perfect amount of time you need to get ready and still make it to work on the dot”. But that doesn't explain why “rise n shine babe :))” pops up on your phone as you brush your teeth on the days you wake up early, too.

[8:06 am] you have to tell me how you do it

[8:06 am] Do what????

[8:07 am] im onto you mister 👁���👁

[8:07 am] 👍👍👍

You spiral through the possible scenarios in your head: he has your location, but that wouldn’t tell him when you woke up right? Does your icon move around on the map? No, the location data isn’t that accurate. Maybe when you open your phone, your Facebook status shows that you’re online? No, you know for a fact that you both haven’t opened that app in years. Hmm, did he plant cameras everywhere in the apartment? Sure, you get the security utility of it but if he did it without telling you, there would be some SERIOUS things to talk about, maybe it really is all just guesswork and coincidence?

Sigh… you’ll get to the bottom of this eventually.

-

Jihoon doesn’t plan on telling you, but rather wants you to figure it out yourself. After all, he’s been dropping so many hints already. Your chill hangouts at his studio have a gentle hum of your favorite songs as background noise. He purposely asks you about the new albums of your favorite artists that, surprise, he’s already listened to. He even makes it a point to remind you that the speaker at home is hooked to his account every now and then.

Sometimes, he swears that you’ve figured it out and were just messing with him when you make little comments about your his song choices like “Really babe, you listen to your own songs this often? Are you sure you’re not a narcissist or something?” But besides these moments, there was no indication that you knew about his secret morning routine as you questioned him regularly about his tactics.

He has to admit, it was kind of amusing to see you growing increasingly suspicious of how on earth he figures out when you wake up, being particularly fond of the cute annoyed face you make when he tells you “No babe, I did not put an Air Tag in your pajamas, you barely sleep in clothes anyway.” Even your pout is adorable as you pretend to give him the silent treatment, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long. His little secret is safe for another day.

-

Jihoon has been working brutal hours lately. As deadlines for the upcoming albums drew near, his days start earlier than ever and end equally as late. However, the one thing he can always count on is coming home to you waiting for him.

It was the night of the new album release and you were more excited than usual, greeting him at the door like a lovesick puppy as soon as you heard the door handle turning. “Hi love, what are you doing up so late?” he pulls you into a quick kiss as he sets his stuff down.

“I wanted to wait to listen to the new album with you so you could see my reaction to it!” your eyes were beaming with enthusiasm. Jihoon’s heart swells at the sentiment, knowing that his partner supports him and his passions with such sincerity. You excitedly motion him to join you in your shared bedroom, full of anticipation to hear the fruits of your boyfriend’s labor for the past months. “Alright, you’re not allowed to be disappointed then” he jokes as he pulls out his phone, quickly finding the recently released album and making sure the volume is high enough before tapping the first track and handing it over to you.

Only a few seconds of the song passes before an idea flashes across your eyes. “Wait, let’s play it on the speaker!” you interrupt. You’re on your feet in seconds and before Jihoon could even reach over to press pause, you’ve already commanded your home speaker to play the track out loud. The music immediately ceases on his phone and switches over to the speaker.

Shit, he’s done for, he thinks to himself. He studies your face carefully for any indication that he’s been found out but surprisingly, your attention is laser focused on the melodies now reverberating around your apartment. You’re mostly quiet during the songs but the rhythmic nodding of your head and facial expressions are a tell all of how much you enjoy each track that plays, contorting in a myriad of impressed shapes as killing part after killing part reaches your ears.

As the album comes to an end you look like you’re about to burst at the seams. Your boyfriend can’t control his smile as compliments and detailed thoughts flow freely from your lips for the rest of the night, not ceasing even as the both of you walk through your unwinding routines together. God, you love comeback days. The elaborate music show stages that you will undoubtedly watch later that evening has already been pre-recorded, giving you precious time together in the morning before his schedule whisks him away from your arms once again.

As you get ready for bed, you drift off to sleep knowing that tomorrow, for the first time in what seems like forever, you can finally tell him good morning in person before he can.

-

Your alarm rings at 8:15 am. Jihoon doesn’t need to be up this early, but he would do anything in order to be the first thing you see when you wake. You roll around in his embrace and press a kiss to his cheek. “Good morning” you both whisper to each other at the same time, sending you both into a fit of giggles as you argue who said it first.

Jihoon watches in adoration from the bed as you so naturally go through your morning routine, one that he misses out on more often than he would like. Today, you forgo your usual morning songs as you queue up your personal favorites off the new album, much to his delight. He tries his best to burn this scene into his memory as you gather your things and prepare to head out, giving him one last kiss. You’re about to unlock the door when you pause in your tracks.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” he hums back from the bedroom.

“Enjoy the speaker, I can’t kick you off today.” you say with a smirk on your face as you exit the apartment, leaving Jihoon speechless.

[antisocialties]

To those it may concern.

alright so the jig is up, i’m no longer as anxious to come out and publicly say some of this i believe should be stated about a specific blog, and it’s been some time that me and my friends @mettsturniolo and @angel-rafe have been talking about this. im-a-matt-girl is a 35 year old woman who’s had an obsession with matt specifically since he was 18. to some people that wouldn’t exactly matter but that’s quite literally the definition of hebephilia and makes me more than uncomfortable and is creepy in multiple ways, especially because at the beginning of this year she started a discord server filled with people from the ages of 18-22 and blatantly lied about her age to us until becoming more comfortable a little while later (showing she definitely knew people would not be comfortable knowing her age) not only is it weird and inappropriate but for some reason she also bashes younger fans and pretty much the entirety of the tumblr fandom, and speaks poorly of the minors on here! not to mention she also accuses pretty much everyone of stealing her story ideas and her screenshots from youtube videos, when it’s obvious multiple people are going to have the same screenshots from a youtube video and she doesn’t own the content, nor is anyone on here blatantly copying her work. and another topic to discuss which is definitely creepy regarding her age, is her weird sense of possessiveness over matt and how someone with that big of an age gap (16 years) tends to sexualize, and not be okay with anyone else having to say anything along the lines of what she does. another thing i might add is that at one point the server was apparently for those who wanted to read her smut written about matt that she didn’t post so there used to be google docs of it pinned in the server. (ss of the actual smut are not provided bc i did not take any but there is a ss provided saying it was once in the channel and anyone who joined for that can leave.)

basically the fact that it’s a 35 year old woman displaying all of these obscene and inappropriate behaviors should definitely be highlighted, and brought to the attention of the fandom on here.

i do have more ss but unfortunately it won’t let me post all of them on one single post, but i am willing to either make a separate post or send them via pm.

[beiibeiii]

Kafka Angst, delicious, thankyou for the food. Okay this was from 11:49-12:21 jeez im tired.

Anyways, here’s thing for you!

“…I remember one morning it was just like any other, you brought coffee and I brought sweets. I remember, you spilled a little of my coffee on the table and made a surprised sound, but despite that, you looked up at me and you laughed. Your eyes were shining in the morning light— In hindsight really.. They’d always done that. A little bit brighter, with the golden sun. That’s the moment I realized I was really truly hopelessly in love with you. I told myself it was a longer mission than usual. That’s all, and yet I couldn’t stop liking you past our little meetings in the morning. I couldn’t help but want to ask more and more about yourself, the silly, little details unrelated to Elio’s script.”

At least, that’s what Kafka would like to say to you. Instead she watched through your window as you cried. Illuminated only by moonlight. It looked as though a meteor shower might be streaking across your face— quick and bright slashes. A sky full of grief, guilt, longing. Kafka couldn’t help but vaguely wondering if you must mirror her own feelings so well. Kafka was a formidable woman, that wasn’t a secret to anyone. What she wanted, she would eventually obtain. However everything else she had taken now seemed so.. Little in comparison to you. So worthless. The one thing Kafka wanted, craved— No. The one thing she needed, she couldn’t have. You. A little bit of water splashes her face. Unsurprising, there’s thunderclouds rolling overhead. Rain was bound to come sooner or later. The water rolls down her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. It takes a moment to register in her brain it’s salty, and the rain has not yet begun to fall.

She looks down at her hands, those hands that have felled many. Her tongue, which has been used to manipulate peoples minds into showing them horrors to last a lifetime, that tongue that has spit thousands of lies. Her eyes, which have watched on as an opponent met a slow, agonizing end. The eyes that showed a frenzied glee at the suffering. How could she ever be worthy of you? The shining bright light in the universe who could never be dimmed. One so pure and precious. She felt her chest tighten in shame. She could never wash the blood from her hands, it stained her entire being. Deep in her mind, a maze to all (even herself) she knew that if given the chance to cleanse her sins, she probably would not take it.

So the Stellaron Hunter turns, quickly scaling her way down to the bustling streets before you might see that familiar shape crouching across the way. Your eyes make their way to the window as you see quick movement, but as fast as it appeared it disappears just as well. And a drop of water hits the glass. And another. Until your window is pelted with the sky’s tears, and the sidewalks are a black mass of umbrellas.

I hope this was this much 🤏 entertaining to you

WHAJHSGD ANONIE?? THIS IS SO AMAZING WAAA IDEK IF I CAN ADD TO IT BC ITS ALREADY PERFECTT!! IM GETTING FED SO WELLL SHJSSJ SOBBING KAFKA ANGST HITTING TOO HARD RN AJSJSJS SHES SO BABYYY I WANNA HUG HERR 😕💗

kafka wears gloves to try to hide the blood that has stained her hands to try to make herself feel better :(

kafka probably has you as a live wallpaper on her phone. she would press down on her phone and the short video of you on that flower field would play. your smiling brightly as the rays of the sunset glowed so beautifully on you. lighting up your smile even more. she looks at it with a bittersweet memories as she reminds herself as to why she joined the stellaron hunters - to understand herself to be a better person and see that beautiful smile on your face everyday. :(

she listens to voice messages or watches videos she has saved of you whenever shes stressed. hearing your voice and the way you smile at her clears her head. calming her down. she can't help but grow a little tired of hearing the same videos and voice recordings. shes determined to get some new ones soon. <3

whenever you post on your snapchat stories, instagram, tiktok, any social media platform, kafka is always on an anonymous account. she constantly comments sweet things under your posts.

"hope you had fun <3"

"so beautiful, like always dear 💗"

"such a pretty smile you have :)"

kafka doesnt even try to change the way she writes to make you not catch on. she likes your posts and is usually the first one to see them too. You can't help but sense the familiarity of the way the commenter writes their comments. its ever so awfully familiar as to how kafka types. you want to believe it but you know its not her :(

kafka secretly hopes you recognise that its her. she knows it won't happen, but she will still keep believing that you will <3

[the-ooftroop]

wait im just finding out that through the other anon that the burntrap video was taken down, thats super sad i thought it was great - did you ever say why?

Alright, I'll get in depth about it as much as I can without airing too much interpersonal drama. It's all over with now, it shouldn't be an issue.

At the time, theory landscape around Burntrap was probably about as unpleasant as it could've gotten, and the video did NOT HELP. AT ALL.

Those of us in the discussion were frustrated to all hell about how people talked about the Mimic and Burntrap and wanted to try and add something new to the discussion- the problem is being so damn heated about it only stoked the flames and one of the people featured in it made a quick reputation of being a nightmare to deal with on Twitter any time people dared discuss Glitchmic in their own spaces. Constantly instigating arguments with people and making the whole concept of Afton = Burntrap tied to negative associations with the people arguing for it. Even when people did go after them, it could've easily been dealt with by letting them be and muting/blocking.

That's my hindsight talking, though. In the moment I was more blindsided by the negative reaction to it and how much heat my friends and I were getting, so I wasn't seeing that ultimately we were just fanning flames we didn't need to fan, and I ultimately enabled the bad behavior when I could've done more to stop it. For that, I'm sorry.

Failing to recognize the problems here caused a lot of issues for me later on, both publicly and privately- at the risk of being too on the nose, I don't associate with the person whose behavior instigated so much vitriol anymore.

At some point I *might* decide to revisit the topic of Burntrap on my own with a scripted video that I can make responsibly for the sake of just... having something interesting to talk about. The Scott interview was far more interesting to me than anything we've gotten story-wise in a while and I think it paints a much clearer picture of what might be going on with the character, but that's something for another time.

I will never bring back that old discussion video, though. It wasn't a healthy one, and it has too much personal baggage for me to wanna deal with it anymore regardless.

...I also just no longer believe the conclusion we drew by the end of it, anyway. I know it and the MXES video we followed it with had their moments of humor and intriguing points, but they're toast. It's not worth bothering with, but hopefully I can make up for that one way or another.

[snowthedemonfox]

ive had a few people send me this tweet, and while it's entirely possible that this is a placeholder date, i do think some things are a bit interesting about it. this might take a bit, so i'm putting it all under a read more.

but first of all i want to say: i do not want glitch to rush out episodes. i do not want the team to force themselves to get this out asap, i do not care how long ep 4 and any future episodes take to get here!! we can wait :D

but moving on, first thing i noticed is that december 13th is a friday. glitch always drops episodes on fridays. maybe netflix does too, i dont pay attention to netflix, but that's one thing that i thought was interesting.

the second thing (and the main reason im making this post) might take a bit of context to fully explain:

when murder drones was being worked on, up until after episode 6, their release schedule was pretty consistent: a new episode every few months, from november 2022 to august 2023. after episode 6 dropped, glitch started to focus on TADC's pilot, which was one of the many reasons it took even longer than just a few months for episode 7 to release.

if you take the wait times between episodes from episode 2 to episode 6, the average amount of days was around 70-ish days. this number is important, ill mention it later on.

why do i bring this up? because im pretty sure that MD's final 2 episodes are the reason this release schedule didn't immediately apply to TADC. we knew from a post glitch made in early 2023 that MD ep 8 was going to be delayed.

i don't think it's that much of a stretch to say that while glitch had planned to release TADC episodes in the middle of working on MD, since MD caused delays, it of course meant that TADC's episodes also couldn't follow that 'new episode every few months' schedule that MD had in it's early days. this resulted in episode 2 taking half a year to release, and another 5 months for episode 3.

another thing to note is that while I have no idea how long production of a show takes when it comes to glitch, i do think that how they handled TADC was fairly different from how MD happened.

after MD's pilot dropped, there was a year of hiatus between episodes 1 and 2. i wouldnt be surprised if the reason this took so long is because production of further episodes only begun after MD's pilot started to gain attention, so glitch had the support needed to continue.

with TADC, we know that production of future episodes had started before the pilot even released. the scripts had been written, and voice lines had been recorded well in advance.

because of this, TADC didn't need a year of hiatus just so glitch could start production, so this 'new ep every 70ish days' timeline couldve still happened if MD didnt cause delays (not saying that's a bad thing, glitch should be taking all the time they need!). but now that MD is over, glitch now has the time to make TADC a priority.

not to say their focus will be completely on TADC, we still have the gaslight district's pilot that, if i had to guess, probably will release sometime between october-november 2025 (yes, this does mean TADC's later episodes will also have delays due to this. let's all remember to be nice to glitch even when this happens).

they've probably done the same thing with TGD, where production of future episodes started before the pilot. so glitch still will be working on that alongside TADC.

but back to the twitter post that prompted me to write this whole thing out: if you take the day that episode 3 released (october 4th, 2024), and add 70 days to it, you get:

december 13th! the date that netflix had listed! so either netflix got incredibly lucky with a random date, or they did their math homework and figured this would be a safe bet for a potential episode 4 release. so if i had to guess, if this date does turn out to be ep 4's actual release date, we could have a trailer by the 29th of november.

but hey, while we wait, glitchx is coming up soon! that's exciting, i cant wait to see what they reveal this time :D

[robobarbie]

im new to bloomic !! do they have canon names?

but of course

----

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.

He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun, and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last.

He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he's afraid that he'll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he'd had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right.

He walks for the entire day. By the end of the day he's really thirsty. He's been sweating all day, and his lips are starting to crack. He's reapplied the sunblock twice, and tried to stay under the umbrella, but he still feels sunburned. The windshield wiper fluid sloshing in the bottle in his pocket is really getting tempting now. He knows that it's mainly water and some ethanol and coloring, but he also knows that they add some kind of poison to it to keep people from drinking it. He wonders what the poison is, and whether the poison would be worse than dying of thirst.

He pushes on, trying to get to that small town before dark.

By the end of the day, he starts getting worried. He figures he's been walking at least three miles an hour, according to his watch for over ten hours. That means that if his estimate was right, he should be close to the town. Unfortunately, he doesn't recognize any of this. He had to cross a dry creek bed a mile or two back, and he doesn't remember coming through it in the SUV. He figures that maybe he got his direction off just a little and that the dry creek bed was just off to one side of his path. He tells himself that he's close, and that after dark he'll start seeing the town lights over one of these hills. That'll be all he needs.

As it gets dim enough that he starts stumbling over small rocks and things, he finds a spot and sits down to wait for full dark and the town lights.

Full dark comes before he knows it. He must have dozed off. He stands back up and turns all the way around. He sees nothing but stars.

He wakes up the next morning feeling absolutely lousy. His eyes are gummy and his mouth and nose feel like they're full of sand. He’s so thirsty that he can't even swallow. He barely got any sleep because it was so cold. He'd forgotten how cold it got at night in the desert and hadn't noticed it the night before because he'd been in his car.

He knows the Rule of Threes - three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food - then you die. Some people can make it a little longer, in the best situations. The desert heat and having to walk and sweat isn't the best situation to be in without water. Unless he finds water, he figures, this is his last day.

He rinses out his mouth with a little of the windshield wiper fluid. He waits for a while after spitting that little bit out to see if his mouth goes numb, or he feels dizzy or something. Has his mouth gone numb? Is it just in his mind? He's not sure. He'll go a little farther, and if he still doesn't find water, he'll try drinking some of the fluid.

Then he has to face his next, harder question - which way does he go from here? Does he keep walking the same way as yesterday (assuming that he still knows which way that is), or does he try a new direction? He has no idea what to do.

Looking at the hills and dunes around him, he thinks he knows the direction he was heading before. Just going by a feeling, he points himself somewhat to the left of that, and starts walking.

As he walks, the day starts heating up. The desert, too cold just a couple of hours before, soon becomes an oven again. He sweats a little at first, and then stops. He starts getting worried at that. He knows that when you stop sweating, you’re in trouble. It’s usually right before heat stroke..

He decides that it's time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can't wait any longer - if he passes out, he's dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry and cracked throat that he doesn't even care about the nasty taste. He takes another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle. He figures that since he's drinking it, he might as well drink enough to make some difference and keep himself from passing out.

He's quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him, it kills him. If he didn't drink it, he'd die anyway. Besides, he's pretty sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed to make you sick: their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up if it comes to that.

He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills, dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water. Sometimes he'll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds, lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He's careful to stay away from the movements.

After a while, he begins to stagger. He's not sure if it's fatigue, heat stroke finally catching him, or maybe he was wrong and the denaturing of the wiper fluid was worse than he thought. He tries to steady himself and keep going.

After more walking, he comes to a large stretch of sand. This is good! He knows he passed over a stretch of sand in the SUV - he remembers doing donuts in it, or at least he thinks he remembers it; he's getting woozy enough and tired enough that he's not sure what he remembers anymore or if he's hallucinating. He thinks he remembers it, so he heads off into it, trying to get to the other side, hoping that it gets him closer to the town.

He was heading for a town, wasn't he? He thinks he was. He isn't sure anymore. He's not even sure how long he's been walking anymore. Is it still morning? Has it moved into afternoon, and the sun is going down again? It must be afternoon; it seems like it's been too long since he started out.

He walks through the sand.

After a while, he comes to a big dune in the sand. This is bad. He doesn't remember any dunes from when he was driving over the sand in his SUV. At least he doesn't think he remembers any. This is bad.

All the same, he has no other direction to go. Too late to turn back now. He figures that he'll get to the top of the dune and see if he can see anything from there that can help him find the town. He keeps going up the dune.

Halfway up, he slips in the bad footing of the sand for the second or third time and falls to his knees. He doesn't feel like getting back up, since he'll just fall down again. He keeps going up the dune on his hand and knees.

While crawling, if his throat weren't so dry, he'd laugh. He's finally gotten to the hackneyed image of a man lost in the desert, crawling through the sand on his hands and knees. It would be the perfect image, he imagines, if only his clothes were more ragged. The people crawling through the desert in the cartoons always had ragged clothes, but his have lasted without any rips so far. Somebody will probably find his dessicated corpse half buried in the sand years from now, and his clothes will still be in fine shape - shake the sand out, give them a good wash, and they'd be wearable again. He wishes his throat were wet enough to laugh. He coughs a little instead, and it hurts.

He finally makes it to the top of the sand dune. Now that he's at the top, he struggles a little, but manages to stand up and look around. All he sees is sand. Sand and more sand. Behind him, about a mile away, he thinks he sees the rocky ground he left to head into this sand. Ahead of him, more dunes, more sand. This isn't where he drove his SUV. This is Hell. Or close enough.

Again, he doesn't know what to do. He decides to drink the rest of the wiper fluid while figuring it out. He takes out the bottle and starts removing the cap when he glances to the side and sees something. Something in the sand. At the bottom of the dune, off to the side, he sees something strange. It's a flat area, in the sand. He stops opening the bottle and tries to look closer. The area seems to be circular, and it's dark: darker than the sand, and there seems to be something in the middle of it, but he can't tell what it is, so he looks as hard as he can but still can't tell from here. He's going to have to go down there and look.

He puts the bottle back into his pocket, and starts to stumble down the dune. After a few steps, he realizes that he's in trouble; he's not going to be able to keep his balance. After a couple more sliding, tottering steps, he falls and starts to roll down the dune. The sand it so hot that he thinks he's caught fire on the way down - like a movie car wreck flashing into flames as it goes over the cliff, before it ever even hits the ground. He closes his eyes and mouth, covers his face with his hands, and waits to stop rolling.

He stops at the bottom of the dune. After a minute or two, he finds enough energy to try to sit up and get the sand out of his face and clothes. When he clears his eyes enough, he looks around to make sure that the dark spot in the sand it still there and he hadn't just imagined it.

Seeing the large, flat, dark spot on the sand still there, he crawls towards it. He'd get up and walk towards it, but he doesn't seem to have the energy to get up and walk right now. He must be in the final stages of dehydration he figures as he crawls. If this place in the sand doesn't have water, he'll likely never make it anywhere else. This is his last chance.

He gets closer and closer, but still can't see what's in the middle of the dark area. It’s hard to focus, and lifting his head up to look takes so much effort that he gives up trying. He just keeps crawling.

Finally, he reaches the area he'd seen from the dune. It takes him a minute of crawling on it before he realizes that he's no longer on sand - he's now crawling on some kind of dark stone. Stone with some kind of marking on it - a pattern cut into the stone. He's too tired to stand up and try to see what the pattern is, so he just keeps crawling. He crawls towards the center where his blurry eyes still see something in the middle of the dark stone area.

His mind, detached in a strange way, notes that either his hands and knees are so burnt by the sand that they no longer feel pain, or that this dark stone, in the middle of a burning desert with a pounding, punishing sun overhead, doesn't seem to be hot. It almost feels cool. He considers lying down on the nice cool surface.

Cool, dark stone. Not a good sign. He must be hallucinating this. He's probably in the middle of a patch of sand, already lying face down and dying, and just imagining this whole thing. A desert mirage. Soon the beautiful women carrying pitchers of water will come up and start giving him a drink. Then he'll know he's gone.

He decides against laying down on the cool stone. If he's going to die here in the middle of this hallucination, he at least wants to see what's in the center before he goes. He keeps crawling.

It's the third time that he hears the voice before he realizes what he's hearing. He would swear that someone just said, "Greetings, traveler. You do not look well. Do you hear me?"

He stops crawling. He tries to look up from where he is on his hands and knees, but it's too much effort to lift his head. So he tries something different: he rolls over and leans back trying to sit up on the stone. After a few seconds, he catches his balance, avoids falling on his face, sits up, and tries to focus his eyes. Blurry. He rubs his eyes with the back of his hands and tries again. Better this time.

Yep. He can see. He's sitting in the middle of a large, flat, dark expanse of stone. Directly next to him, about three feet away, is a white post or pole about two inches in diameter and sticking about four or five feet out of the stone, at an angle.

And wrapped around this white rod is what must be a fifteen foot long desert diamondback rattlesnake, with a hovering tail and rattle seemingly prepared to start rattling, looking directly at him.

He stares at the snake in shock. He doesn't have the energy to get up and run away. He doesn't even have the energy to crawl away. This is it: his final resting place. No matter what happens, he's not going to be able to move from this spot.

Well, at least dying from a bite from this monster should be quicker than dying of thirst. He'll face his end like a man. He struggles to sit up a little straighter. The snake keeps watching him. He lifts one hand and flicks it in the snake's direction, feebly. The snake watches the hand for a moment, then goes back to watching the man, looking into his eyes.

Hmmm. Maybe the snake has no interest in biting him. It hasn't rattled yet - that’s a good sign. Maybe he isn't going to die of snake bite after all.

He then remembers that he'd looked up when he'd reached the center here because he thought he'd heard a voice. He is still very woozy; he feels like he might pass out soon. The sun still beats down on him even though he is now on cool stone. He still doesn't have anything to drink. Although maybe he had actually heard a voice. This stone doesn't look natural. Nor does that white post sticking up out of the stone. Someone must have built this. Maybe they are still nearby. Maybe that was who talked to him. Maybe this snake is even their pet, and that's why it isn't biting.

He tries to clear his throat to say, "Hello," but he’s too dry. All that comes out is a coughing or wheezing sound. There's no way he's going to be able to talk without something to drink. He feels his pocket, and the bottle with the wiper fluid is still there. He shakily pulls out the bottle, almost losing his balance and falling on his back in the process. This isn't good. He doesn't have much time left by his reckoning before he passes out.

He gets the bottle open, manages to get the bottle to his lips, and pours some of the fluid into his mouth. He sloshes it around, and then swallows it. He coughs a little. His throat feels better. Maybe he can talk now.

He tries again. Ignoring the snake, he turns to look around him, hoping to spot the owner of this place, and croaks out, "Hello? Is there anyone here?"

He hears, from his side, "Greetings. What is it that you want?"

He turns his head back towards the snake. That's where the sound seemed to come from. The only thing he can think of is that there must be a speaker hidden under the snake, or maybe built into that post. He decides to try asking for help.

"Please," he croaks again, suddenly feeling dizzy, "I'd love to not be thirsty anymore. I've been without water for a long time. Can you help me?"

Looking in the direction of the snake, hoping to see where the voice was coming from this time, he is shocked to see the snake rear back, open its mouth, and speak. He hears it say, as the dizziness overtakes him and he falls forward, face first on the stone, "Very well. Coming up."

A piercing pain shoots through his shoulder. Suddenly he is awake. He sits up and grabs his shoulder, wincing at the throbbing pain. He's momentarily disoriented as he looks around, and then he remembers: the crawl across the sand, the dark area of stone, the snake. He sees the snake, still wrapped around the tilted white post, still looking at him.

He reaches up and feels his shoulder, where it hurts. It feels slightly wet. He pulls his fingers away and looks at them - blood. He feels his shoulder again - it feels like his shirt has two holes in it - two puncture holes. They match up with the two aching spots of pain on his shoulder. He has been bitten. By the snake.

"It'll feel better in a minute." He looks up - it's the snake talking. He hadn't dreamed it. Suddenly he notices - he's not dizzy anymore. And more importantly, he's not thirsty anymore - at all!

"Have I died? Is this the afterlife? Why are you biting me in the afterlife?"

"Sorry about that, but I had to bite you," says the snake. "That's the way I work. It all comes through the bite. Think of it as natural medicine."

"You bit me to help me? Why aren't I thirsty anymore? Did you give me a drink before you bit me? How did I drink enough while unconscious to not be thirsty anymore? I haven't had a drink for over two days. Well, except for the windshield wiper fluid... hold it, how in the world does a snake talk? Are you real? Are you some sort of Disney animation?"

"No," says the snake, "I'm real. As real as you or anyone is, anyway. I didn't give you a drink. I bit you. That's how it works, it's what I do. I bite. Plus I don't have hands to give you a drink, even if I had water just sitting around here."

The man sat stunned for a minute. Here he was, sitting in the middle of the desert on some strange stone that should be hot but wasn't, talking to a snake that could talk back and had just bitten him. And he felt better. Not great - he was still starving and exhausted, but much better - he was no longer thirsty. He had started to sweat again, but only slightly. He felt hot, in this sun, but it was starting to get lower in the sky, and the cool stone beneath him was a relief he could notice now that he was no longer dying of thirst.

"I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your system with the next request," continued the snake. "I can guess why you drank it, but I'm not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty. It'll make you go blind in a day or two, if you drank enough of it."

"Ummm, n-next request?" said the man. He put his hand back on his hurting shoulder and backed away from the snake a little.

"That's the way it works. If you like, that is," explained the snake. "You get three requests. Call them wishes, if you wish." The snake grinned at his own joke, and the man drew back a little further from the show of fangs.

"But there are rules," the snake continued. "The first request is free. The second requires an agreement of secrecy. The third requires the binding of responsibility." The snake looks at the man seriously.

"By the way," the snake says suddenly, "my name is Nathan. Old Nathan, Samuel used to call me. He gave me the name. Before that, most of the Bound used to just call me 'Snake'. But that got old, and Samuel wouldn't stand for it. He said that anything that could talk needed a name. He was big into names. You can call me Nate, if you wish." Again, the snake grinned. "Sorry if I don't offer to shake, but I think you can understand - my shake sounds somewhat threatening." The snake give his rattle a little shake.

"Umm, my name is Jack," said the man, trying to absorb all of this. "Jack Samson."

"Can I ask you a question?" Jack says suddenly. "What happened to the venom...umm, in your bite. Why aren't I dying now? How did you do that? What do you mean by that's how you work?"

"That's more than one question," grins Nate. "But I'll still try to answer all of them. First, yes, you can ask me a question." The snake's grin gets wider. "Second, the venom is in you. It changed you. You now no longer need to drink. That's what you asked for. Or, well, technically, you asked to not be thirsty any more - but 'any more' is such a vague term. I decided to make it permanent - now, as long as you live, you shouldn't need to drink much at all. Your body will conserve water very efficiently. You should be able to get enough just from the food you eat - much like a creature of the desert. You've been changed.

"For the third question," Nate continues, "you are still dying. Besides the effects of that methanol in your system, you're a man - and men are mortal. In your current state, I give you no more than about another 50 years. Assuming you get out of this desert, alive, that is." Nate seemed vastly amused at his own humor, and continued his wide grin.

"As for the fourth question," Nate said, looking more serious as far as Jack could tell, as Jack was just now working on his ability to read talking-snake emotions from snake facial features, "first you have to agree to make a second request and become bound by the secrecy, or I can't tell you."

"Wait," joked Jack, "isn't this where you say you could tell me, but you'd have to kill me?"

"I thought that was implied." Nate continued to look serious.

"Ummm...yeah." Jack leaned back a little as he remembered again that he was talking to a fifteen foot venomous reptile with a reputation for having a nasty temper. "So, what is this 'Bound by Secrecy' stuff, and can you really stop the effects of the methanol?" Jack thought for a second. "And, what do you mean methanol, anyway? I thought these days they use ethanol in wiper fluid, and just denature it?"

"They may, I don't really know," said Nate. "I haven't gotten out in a while. Maybe they do. All I know is that I smell methanol on your breath and on that bottle in your pocket. And the blue color of the liquid when you pulled it out to drink some let me guess that it was wiper fluid. I assume that they still color wiper fluid blue?"

"Yeah, they do," said Jack.

"I figured," replied Nate. "As for being bound by secrecy - with the fulfillment of your next request, you will be bound to say nothing about me, this place, or any of the information I will tell you after that, when you decide to go back out to your kind. You won't be allowed to talk about me, write about me, use sign language, charades, or even act in a way that will lead someone to guess correctly about me. You'll be bound to secrecy. Of course, I'll also ask you to promise not to give me away, and as I'm guessing that you're a man of your word, you'll never test the binding anyway, so you won't notice." Nate said the last part with utter confidence.

Jack, who had always prided himself on being a man of his word, felt a little nervous at this. "Ummm, hey, Nate, who are you? How did you know that? Are you, umm, omniscient, or something?"

Well, Jack," said Nate sadly, "I can't tell you that, unless you make the second request." Nate looked away for a minute, then looked back.

"Umm, well, ok," said Jack, "what is this about a second request? What can I ask for? Are you allowed to tell me that?"

"Sure!" said Nate, brightening. "You're allowed to ask for changes. Changes to yourself. They're like wishes, but they can only affect you. Oh, and before you ask, I can't give you immortality. Or omniscience. Or omnipresence, for that matter. Though I might be able to make you gaseous and yet remain alive, and then you could spread through the atmosphere and sort of be omnipresent. But what good would that be - you still wouldn't be omniscient and thus still could only focus on one thing at a time. Not very useful, at least in my opinion." Nate stopped when he realized that Jack was staring at him.

"Well, anyway," continued Nate, "I'd probably suggest giving you permanent good health. It would negate the methanol now in your system, you'd be immune to most poisons and diseases, and you'd tend to live a very long time, barring accident, of course. And you'll even have a tendency to recover from accidents well. It always seemed like a good choice for a request to me."

"Cure the methanol poisoning, huh?" said Jack. "And keep me healthy for a long time? Hmmm. It doesn't sound bad at that. And it has to be a request about a change to me? I can't ask to be rich, right? Because that's not really a change to me?"

"Right," nodded Nate.

"Could I ask to be a genius and permanently healthy?" Jack asked, hopefully.

"That takes two requests, Jack."

"Yeah, I figured so," said Jack. "But I could ask to be a genius? I could become the smartest scientist in the world? Or the best athlete?"

"Well, I could make you very smart," admitted Nate, "but that wouldn't necessarily make you the best scientist in the world. Or, I could make you very athletic, but it wouldn't necessarily make you the best athlete either. You've heard the saying that 99% of genius is hard work? Well, there's some truth to that. I can give you the talent, but I can't make you work hard. It all depends on what you decide to do with it."

"Hmmm," said Jack. "Ok, I think I understand. And I get a third request, after this one?"

"Maybe," said Nate, "it depends on what you decide then. There are more rules for the third request that I can only tell you about after the second request. You know how it goes." Nate looked like he'd shrug, if he had shoulders.

"Ok, well, since I'd rather not be blind in a day or two, and permanent health doesn't sound bad, then consider that my second request. Officially. Do I need to sign in blood or something?"

"No," said Nate. "Just hold out your hand. Or heel." Nate grinned. "Or whatever part you want me to bite. I have to bite you again. Like I said, that's how it works - the venom, you know," Nate said apologetically.

Jack winced a little and felt his shoulder, where the last bite was. Hey, it didn't hurt any more. Just like Nate had said. That made Jack feel better about the biting business. But still, standing still while a fifteen foot snake sunk it's fangs into you. Jack stood up. Ignoring how good it felt to be able to stand again, and the hunger starting to gnaw at his stomach, Jack tried to decide where he wanted to get bitten. Despite knowing that it wouldn't hurt for long, Jack knew that this wasn't going to be easy.

"Hey, Jack," Nate suddenly said, looking past Jack towards the dunes behind him, "is that someone else coming up over there?"

Jack spun around and looked. Who else could be out here in the middle of nowhere? And did they bring food?

Wait a minute, there was nobody over there. What was Nate...

Jack let out a bellow as he felt two fangs sink into his rear end, through his jeans...

Jack sat down carefully, favoring his more tender buttock. "I would have decided, eventually, Nate. I was just thinking about it. You didn't have to hoodwink me like that."

"I've been doing this a long time, Jack," said Nate, confidently. "You humans have a hard time sitting still and letting a snake bite you - especially one my size. And besides, admit it - it's only been a couple of minutes and it already doesn't hurt any more, does it? That's because of the health benefit with this one. I told you that you'd heal quickly now."

"Yeah, well, still," said Jack, "it's the principle of the thing. And nobody likes being bitten in the butt! Couldn't you have gotten my calf or something instead?"

"More meat in the typical human butt," replied Nate. "And less chance you accidentally kick me or move at the last second."

"Yeah, right. So, tell me all of these wonderful secrets that I now qualify to hear," answered Jack.

"Ok," said Nate. "Do you want to ask questions first, or do you want me to just start talking?"

"Just talk," said Jack. "I'll sit here and try to not think about food."

"We could go try to rustle up some food for you first, if you like," answered Nate.

"Hey! You didn't tell me you had food around here, Nate!" Jack jumped up. "What do we have? Am I in walking distance to town? Or can you magically whip up food along with your other powers?" Jack was almost shouting with excitement. His stomach had been growling for hours.

"I was thinking more like I could flush something out of its hole and bite it for you, and you could skin it and eat it. Assuming you have a knife, that is," replied Nate, with the grin that Jack was starting to get used to.

"Ugh," said Jack, sitting back down. "I think I'll pass. I can last a little longer before I get desperate enough to eat desert rat, or whatever else it is you find out here. And there's nothing to burn - I'd have to eat it raw. No thanks. Just talk."

"Ok," replied Nate, still grinning. "But I'd better hurry, before you start looking at me as food.

Nate reared back a little, looked around for a second, and then continued. "You, Jack, are sitting in the middle of the Garden of Eden."

Jack looked around at the sand and dunes and then looked back at Nate sceptically.

"Well, that's the best I can figure it, anyway, Jack," said Nate. "Stand up and look at the symbol on the rock here." Nate gestured around the dark stone they were both sitting on with his nose.

Jack stood up and looked. Carved into the stone in a bas-relief was a representation of a large tree. The angled-pole that Nate was wrapped around was coming out of the trunk of the tree, right below where the main branches left the trunk to reach out across the stone. It was very well done - it looked more like a tree had been reduced to almost two dimensions and embedded in the stone than it did like a carving.

Jack walked around and looked at the details in the fading light of the setting sun. He wished he'd looked at it while the sun was higher in the sky.

Wait! The sun was setting! That meant he was going to have to spend another night out here! Arrrgh!

Jack looked out across the desert for a little bit, and then came back and stood next to Nate. "In all the excitement, I almost forgot, Nate," said Jack. "Which way is it back to town? And how far? I'm eventually going to have to head back - I'm not sure I'll be able to survive by eating raw desert critters for long. And even if I can, I'm not sure I'll want to."

"It's about 30 miles that way." Nate pointed, with the rattle on his tail this time. As far as Jack could tell, it was a direction at right angles to the way he'd been going when he was crawling here. "But that's 30 miles by the way the crow flies. It's about 40 by the way a man walks. You should be able to do it in about half a day with your improved endurance, if you head out early tomorrow, Jack."

Jack looked out the way the snake had pointed for a few seconds more, and then sat back down. It was getting dark. Not much he could do about heading out right now. And besides, Nate was just about to get to the interesting stuff. "Garden of Eden? As best as you can figure it?"

"Well, yeah, as best as I and Samuel could figure it anyway," said Nate. "He figured that the story just got a little mixed up. You know, snake, in a 'tree', offering 'temptations', making bargains. That kind stuff. But he could never quite figure out how the Hebrews found out about this spot from across the ocean. He worried about that for a while."

"Garden of Eden, hunh?" said Jack. "How long have you been here, Nate?"

"No idea, really," replied Nate. "A long time. It never occurred to me to count years, until recently, and by then, of course, it was too late. But I do remember when this whole place was green, so I figure it's been thousands of years, at least."

"So, are you the snake that tempted Eve?" said Jack.

"Beats me," said Nate. "Maybe. I can't remember if the first one of your kind that I talked to was female or not, and I never got a name, but it could have been. And I suppose she could have considered my offer to grant requests a 'temptation', though I've rarely had refusals."

"Well, umm, how did you get here then? And why is that white pole stuck out of the stone there?" asked Jack.

"Dad left me here. Or, I assume it was my dad. It was another snake - much bigger than I was back then. I remember talking to him, but I don't remember if it was in a language, or just kind of understanding what he wanted. But one day, he brought me to this stone, told me about it, and asked me to do something for him. I talked it over with him for a while, then agreed. I've been here ever since.

"What is this place?" said Jack. "And what did he ask you to do?"

"Well, you see this pole here, sticking out of the stone?" Nate loosened his coils around the tilted white pole and showed Jack where it descended into the stone. The pole was tilted at about a 45 degree angle and seemed to enter the stone in an eighteen inch slot cut into the stone. Jack leaned over and looked. The slot was dark and the pole went down into it as far as Jack could see in the dim light. Jack reached out to touch the pole, but Nate was suddenly there in the way.

"You can't touch that yet, Jack," said Nate.

"Why not?" asked Jack.

"I haven't explained it to you yet," replied Nate.

"Well, it kinda looks like a lever or something," said Jack. "You'd push it that way, and it would move in the slot."

"Yep, that's what it is," replied Nate.

"What does it do?" asked Jack. "End the world?"

"Oh, no," said Nate. "Nothing that drastic. It just ends humanity. I call it 'The Lever of Doom'." For the last few words Nate had used a deeper, ringing voice. He tried to look serious for a few seconds, and then gave up and grinned.

Jack was initially startled by Nate's pronouncement, but when Nate grinned Jack laughed. "Ha! You almost had me fooled for a second there. What does it really do?"

"Oh, it really ends humanity, like I said," smirked Nate. "I just thought the voice I used was funny, didn't you?"

Nate continued to grin.

"A lever to end humanity?" asked Jack. "What in the world is that for? Why would anyone need to end humanity?"

"Well," replied Nate, "I get the idea that maybe humanity was an experiment. Or maybe the Big Guy just thought, that if humanity started going really bad, there should be a way to end it. I'm not really sure. All I know are the rules, and the guesses that Samuel and I had about why it's here. I didn't think to ask back when I started here."

"Rules? What rules?" asked Jack.

"The rules are that I can't tell anybody about it or let them touch it unless they agree to be bound to secrecy by a bite. And that only one human can be bound in that way at a time. That's it." explained Nate.

Jack looked somewhat shocked. "You mean that I could pull the lever now? You'd let me end humanity?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "if you want to." Nate looked at Jack carefully. "Do you want to, Jack?"

"Umm, no." said Jack, stepping a little further back from the lever. "Why in the world would anyone want to end humanity? It'd take a psychotic to want that! Or worse, a suicidal psychotic, because it would kill him too, wouldn't it?"

"Yep," replied Nate, "being as he'd be human too."

"Has anyone ever seriously considered it?" asked Jack. "Any of those bound to secrecy, that is?"

"Well, of course, I think they've all seriously considered it at one time or another. Being given that kind of responsibility makes you sit down and think, or so I'm told. Samuel considered it several times. He'd often get disgusted with humanity, come out here, and just hold the lever for a while. But he never pulled it. Or you wouldn't be here." Nate grinned some more.

Jack sat down, well back from the lever. He looked thoughtful and puzzled at the same time. After a bit, he said, "So this makes me the Judge of humanity? I get to decide whether they keep going or just end? Me?"

"That seems to be it," agreed Nate.

"What kind of criteria do I use to decide?" said Jack. "How do I make this decision? Am I supposed to decide if they're good? Or too many of them are bad? Or that they're going the wrong way? Is there a set of rules for that?"

"Nope," replied Nate. "You pretty much just have to decide on your own. It's up to you, however you want to decide it. I guess that you're just supposed to know."

"But what if I get mad at someone? Or some girl dumps me and I feel horrible? Couldn't I make a mistake? How do I know that I won't screw up?" protested Jack.

Nate gave his kind of snake-like shrug again. "You don't. You just have to try your best, Jack."

Jack sat there for a while, staring off into the desert that was rapidly getting dark, chewing on a fingernail.

Suddenly, Jack turned around and looked at the snake. "Nate, was Samuel the one bound to this before me?"

"Yep," replied Nate. "He was a good guy. Talked to me a lot. Taught me to read and brought me books. I think I still have a good pile of them buried in the sand around here somewhere. I still miss him. He died a few months ago."

"Sounds like a good guy," agreed Jack. "How did he handle this, when you first told him. What did he do?"

"Well," said Nate, "he sat down for a while, thought about it for a bit, and then asked me some questions, much like you're doing."

"What did he ask you, if you're allowed to tell me?" asked Jack.

"He asked me about the third request," replied Nate.

"Aha!" It was Jack's turn to grin. "And what did you tell him?"

"I told him the rules for the third request. That to get the third request you have to agree to this whole thing. That if it ever comes to the point that you really think that humanity should be ended, that you'll come here and end it. You won't avoid it, and you won't wimp out." Nate looked serious again. "And you'll be bound to do it too, Jack."

"Hmmm." Jack looked back out into the darkness for a while.

Nate watched him, waiting.

"Nate," continued Jack, quietly, eventually. "What did Samuel ask for with his third request?"

Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly, "Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him."

"Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it to me.

Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?"

"Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?"

"He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward. Like he had a lot to think about."

"Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up.

Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now, Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.

"You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position.

"Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice.

"And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?"

"Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes, straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there. With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot in the rock without the snake wrapped around it.

Jack heard, from behind him, Nate's "Just Kidding!" right before he felt the now familiar piercing pain, this time in the other buttock.

Jack sat on the edge of the dark stone in the rapidly cooling air, his feet extending out into the sand. He stared out into the darkness, listening to the wind stir the sand, occasionally rubbing his butt where he'd been recently bitten.

Nate had left for a little while, had come back with a desert-rodent-shaped bulge somewhere in his middle, and was now wrapped back around the lever, his tongue flicking out into the desert night's air the only sign that he was still awake.

Occasionally Jack, with his toes absentmindedly digging in the sand while he thought, would ask Nate a question without turning around.

"Nate, do accidents count?"

Nate lifted his head a little bit. "What do you mean, Jack?"

Jack tilted his head back like he was looking at the stars. "You know, accidents. If I accidentally fall on the lever, without meaning to, does that still wipe out humanity?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement.

A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack.

"That's the rule, Jack. Nobody else can pull it," answered Nate.

"No," Jack shook his head, "I meant does it have to be my hand? Could I pull the lever with a rope tied around it? Or push it with a stick? Or throw a rock?"

"Yes, those should work," replied Nate. "Though I'm not sure how complicated you could get. Samuel thought about trying to build some kind of remote control for it once, but gave it up. Everything he'd build would be gone by the next sunrise, if it was touching the stone, or over it. I told him that in the past others that had been bound had tried to bury the lever so they wouldn't be tempted to pull it, but every time the stones or sand or whatever had disappeared."

"Wow," said Jack, "Cool." Jack leaned back until only his elbows kept him off of the stone and looked up into the sky.

"Nate, how long did Samuel live? One of his wishes was for health too, right?" asked Jack.

"Yes," replied Nate, "it was. He lived 167 years, Jack."

"Wow, 167 years. That's almost 140 more years I'll live if I live as long. Do you know what he died of, Nate?"

"He died of getting tired of living, Jack," Nate said, sounding somewhat sad.

Jack turned his head to look at Nate in the starlight.

Nate looked back. "Samuel knew he wasn't going to be able to stay in society. He figured that they'd eventually see him still alive and start questioning it, so he decided that he'd have to disappear after a while. He faked his death once, but changed his mind - he decided it was too early and he could stay for a little longer. He wasn't very fond of mankind, but he liked the attention. Most of the time, anyway.

"His daughter and then his wife dying almost did him in though. He didn't stay in society much longer after that. He eventually came out here to spend time talking to me and thinking about pulling the lever. A few months ago he told me he'd had enough. It was his time."

"And then he just died?" asked Jack.

Nate shook his head a little. "He made his fourth request, Jack. There's only one thing you can ask for the fourth request. The last bite.

After a bit Nate continued, "He told me that he was tired, that it was his time. He reassured me that someone new would show up soon, like they always had.

After another pause, Nate finished, "Samuel's body disappeared off the stone with the sunrise."

Jack lay back down and looked at the sky, leaving Nate alone with his memories. It was a long time until Jack's breathing evened out into sleep.

Jack woke with the sunrise the next morning. He was a little chilled with the morning desert air, but overall was feeling pretty good. Well, except that his stomach was grumbling and he wasn't willing to eat raw desert rat.

So, after getting directions to town from Nate, making sure he knew how to get back, and reassuring Nate that he'd be back soon, Jack started the long walk back to town. With his new health and Nate's good directions, he made it back easily.

Jack caught a bus back to the city, and showed up for work the next day, little worse for the wear and with a story about getting lost in the desert and walking back out. Within a couple of days Jack had talked a friend with a tow truck into going back out into the desert with him to fetch the SUV. They found it after a couple of hours of searching and towed it back without incident. Jack was careful not to even look in the direction of Nate's lever, though their path back didn't come within sight of it.

Before the next weekend, Jack had gone to a couple of stores, including a book store, and had gotten his SUV back from the mechanic, with a warning to avoid any more joyriding in the desert. On Saturday, Jack headed back to see Nate.

Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of, and shouldn't really raise suspicions.

Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but that he had things to do first.

Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite.

After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year.

After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he'd been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years, working in a nine to five job for someone else didn't seem that worthwhile any more. Jack went back to school.

Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote, and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started traveling around the country for book signings and readings.

But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.

On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been a fountain of joy lately. Jack's best guess was that Nate was still missing Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn't been able to replace Samuel in Nate's eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this visit Nate didn't even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate's silence, sat down and waited.

After a few minutes, Nate spoke. "Jack, I have someone to introduce you to."

Jack looked surprised. "Someone to introduce me to?" Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. "This something to do with the Big Guy?

"No, no," replied Nate. "This is more personal. I want you to meet my son." Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. "Sammy!"

Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the dune and up to the stone base of the lever.

"Yo, Jack," said the new, much smaller snake.

"Yo, Sammy" replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. "Named after Samuel, I assume?"

Nate nodded. "Jack, I've got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around for me?" Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the edge of the stone and looked across the sands. "When Samuel first told me about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been.

"He's seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it's not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?"

Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn't even joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?" Jack could sense that was something more.

Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said, "Oh, yeah. Ummm, I've gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet ya!" Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight.

Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. "Jack, this is my first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don't even want to know what it took for me to find a mate." Nate grinned to himself. "But anyway, I had a son for a reason. I'm tired. I'm ready for it to be over. I needed a replacement."

Jack considered this for a minute. "So, you're ready to come see the world, and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?"

Nate shook his head. "No, Jack - you're a better guesser than that. You've already figured out - I'm bound here - there's only one way for me to leave here. And I'm ready. It's my time to die."

Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself. Jack could understand Samuel's decision, and now Nate's. So, all Jack said was, "What do you want me to do?"

Nate nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around the world - let him get his fill of it, until he's ready to come back here and take over. Two - give me the fourth request.

"I can't just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won't even die of old age like you eventually will, even though it'll be a long time from now. I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I'll be able to die. And I need you to kill me.

"I've even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won't work on me. And I've seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so that's out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.

Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. "I'd say an axe, but that's somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work, even on me.

"You willing to do that for me, Jack?" Nate turned back to look at Jack.

"Yeah, Nate," replied Jack solemnly, "I think I can handle that."

Nate nodded. "Good!" He turned back toward the dune and shouted, "Sammy! Jack's about ready to leave!" Then quietly, "Thanks, Jack."

Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following.

Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and stories followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general.

When they finished the tour of countries, Jack suggested that they try some undersea diving. They did. And spelunking. They did that too. Sammy finally drew the line at visiting Antarctica. He'd come to realize that Jack was stalling. After talking to his Dad about it over e-mail, he figured out that Jack probably didn't want to have to kill Nate. Nate told Sammy that humans could be squeamish about killing friends and acquaintances.

So, Sammy eventually put his tail down (as he didn't have a foot) and told Jack that it was time - he was ready to go back and take up his duties from his dad. Jack, delayed it a little more by insisting that they go back to Japan and buy an appropriate sword. He even stretched it a little more by getting lessons in how to use the sword. But, eventually, he'd learned as much as he was likely to without dedicating his life to it, and was definitely competent enough to take the head off of a snake. It was time to head back and see Nate.

When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.

When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those years ago when he'd met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn't really feel like walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he'd forgotten to figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They'd either have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.

As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his resolve, he decided that he'd go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they drove, and then they could get it over tonight.

Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out into the desert.

Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds, revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to the dunes, Jack didn't really think about it, he just downshifted and headed up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he'd decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and laughing at Jack's driving.

As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate, waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he'd gone a little too far. The RV started slipping down the other side.

Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn't have enough traction. He pumped the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and faster.

Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for it. If Jack didn't do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end humanity.

Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn't working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second, Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit the lever - he wouldn't have time to stop, but he should be able to steer away.

Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a little bit - every little bit would help. He'd have to time his turn just right.

The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something else that he hadn't seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn't wrapped around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the lever to the other side.

Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy realized the same thing.

Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone. Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "Better Nate than lever!", he ran over the snake.

[inkois]

Hopes and Thoughts on Akito5 after the absolute bombshell that was Mizuki5

Hello peeps! I am back from the dead(ty college), but here are my hopes + thoughts on things that Akito's fifth focus event(UTSU P COMMISSION HOLY SHIT NO WAY IM SO HYPE AKITO FR HAS NO BAD COMMISSIONS) will address. Judging by the name of the event and the card image, I think we might get another emotional damage bombshell after Mizuki5.

Anyways, here what I hope for Akito5 to address about his character, and always,

!SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS VBS AND OTHER AKITO EVENTS UNDER THE CUT!

Okay, so everyone here good with spoilers I shall be giving you?

I think there's a fifty-fifty shot of it being a cute, happy event, or another emotional damage to the max. On paper, the plotlines I want to see fulfilled could be done through a cute filler event, but if you really think about Akito's character and his sole reason for living/singing being tied to a single goal and that goal now being gone, it could get angsty quick. It also doesn't help that Akito's previous events had darker plot lines, as well as song lyrics.

one

The biggest thing I hope they address about Akito's character is his future goals and where he will go now that he has surpassed RAD WEEKEND. His to goal surpass RAD WEEKEND is an integral part of his character. This goal is the sole reason he hasn't burnt out and remained directionless, like after Singing for a Summer Festival. It was reason why he continued to stay and sing on Vivid Street, despite the humiliation he faced in Find a Way Out. What happens to you when a goal that's so intertwined with your personality gets completed? I imagine that feeling would be incredibly strange. On one hand, the nebulous goal that he had set for himself got completed. On the other, his sole reason for continuing to live is gone. I would like to see where Akito will go now that he no longer has any goal in mind. How will he find a new direction? Will he branch out to try new things now that he has the time to focus on not surpassing RAD WEEKEND? Will he open up to his teammates further, as he will no longer have a reason to stay stoic and so focused on his goals? To add more to this, healing from something like getting all your satisfaction from a single goal is difficult and takes a long time, but I want to watch him learn to find joy in living life. I also wouldn't mind if Akito's growth takes a longer time and overlaps with other events that he's featured in.

two

Second, I want the event to address Akito's poor sense of self esteem. At the moment, his sense of self esteem seems to come from outside sources, such as whether or not he performed well or how well he was able to support his teammates. I want to see him grow from wanting external sources of validation to learning and accepting internal sources of validation, and acknowledging how hard he worked to get to his current point. Again this process takes time, but I would love to see the groundwork of this growth being laid out for his character in this event.

third

The third thing I hope they address about Akito's character is him learning how to enjoy the process of growing as a musician. The groundwork for this was laid out in both Find a Way Out and Burn My Soul. At the end of Find a Way Out, Akito has a moment, just a single moment where he feels the joy of being able to recognize his improvement. Of course, immediately after he has that moment, he shuts his feelings of success down, telling himself that he will only deserve to feel successful if he manages to surpass RAD WEEKEND. Later on, in Burn My Soul, with his one-on-one training with KEN, Akito is encouraged to find those feelings of frustration, joy, anger, fear, shame, everything he felt in his journey as a musician in order to create a performance that can be felt by audience. When Akito finally figured out how to allow himself to feel things, he became a far better musician. I really want to see how much further Akito can go if he just lets himself enjoy singing with the squad and not worrying about being perfect and being at 100% all of the time. Also cuz my son deserves to feel good about things and not be goal oriented and focused all of the time(shhh im not projecting, you are).

four

This one is a little bit of a long shot for it to be completed in a single focus event, but I would like to see Akito learning to open up even further to others that aren't in his immediate group. For a long time, Akito has only been able to rely on himself, as despite Ena caring deeply about him, she hasn't been in a good place emotionally to support him(holy fucking shit guys its not solely ena's or akito's fault that their relationships dysfunctional you try supporting someone when your mental health is in the drain). He's also seen to be emotionally distant from his parents; rarely speaking with his father or mother. At this time, Akito is the closest to his partner, Touya, as well as his team, but even then, he doesn't tell his closest friends everything, probably due to the trauma of being humiliated in Find a Way Out. Akito is so used to people around him being hostile towards him that he automatically reacts to it with the customer service persona or with more hostility. I hope that in this event, he will able to learn to trust his team more and learn to let go of some of that gruffness that allowed him to survive in Vivid Street's harsh environment.

five

I hope Akito gets to scream in his comm. Fumiya Imai has a crazy vocal fry and I hope he gets to use it in the Utsu P commission. send tweet. Anyway, jokes aside I'm incredibly hype for an Utsu P commission and I cannot wait to see how it turns out!

TLDR; In Akito5, I want to see Akito find a purpose that doesn't revolve around surpassing RAD WEEKEND, learning to let himself be satisfied with his skill while still wanting to grow, letting himself open up to people who aren't just Touya and his team, and a banger commission song(which is kinda guaranteed cuz its an Utsu P commission).

What hopes do you guys have for Akito5? Lemme know in the comments and reblog :D!

[safehaven3d]

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: low appetite & binging :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

unpopular opinion, but I hate when I suddenly lose my appetite.

you see, unplanned fasting is the main catalyst for my binges. a sudden loss of appetite ruins everything from things like what i’ve planned to eat that day, to my exercise routine & fasting schedule, to even the excuses i had planned if i were prompted about my eating and wellness habits. it really, really, gets in my way. and that sucks. but i've found some ways around it!

i personally suffer from ocd, so something i haven’t necessarily planned is sort of unwelcome, esp if I end throwing away food - which I personally don't like since i’m p00r and my mom would have my head if she knew haha.

in regards to having no appetite, you might be thinking“oh no but that’s great, that means less c@ls today!” but as i said, unplanned fasting leads to binging 99.9% of the time, so if you’re having binging problems, my advice is try having more consistent meals. my tip if you’re inappetent, smelling garlic/garlic paste, fresh perilla leaf, or munching on pickled ginger (even having ginger tea! ginger is 👑) works nicely.

so you might be asking yourself, what do I eat when my i’m trying to bring back my appetite so i don't binge? well i’m glad you asked! and if you didn’t, im gonna go ahead and tell you anyway!

i reach for foods that are either high in fiber (keeps you regular/helps with constipation) or protein (keeps you fuller for longer) or conversely, foods that are low c@l, very liquidy or high in water content. It depends on my mood or what I am doing later (i.e.,if i am working out or i have a meal planned afterwards). to give you an idea of what that might look like, here is a small list:

high protein:

yogurt

pb

chicken

boiled egg

high fiber:

(any kind of fruit or veggie basically)

green grapes

apples

iceberg lettuce

tomato

avocado

low cal:

tea and a splash of plant based milk (this will keep you satiated for a lil longer and help with digestion)

any sort of clear broth

soup

on the topic of soup, here's the reason that soup IS the goat of all goats, it’s because it can include actually EVERYTHING on this list and STILL be low c@lorie. from a high protein source, to fiber, to even carbs if you wish to add them (psst: i usually do to mine! it's easier to extends fasts that way, but if i am low on appetite, I just sip on the soup broth first and work from there to see if i can stomach a full serving). let me know if you want a recipe! soup is one of my go-to meals nowadays, but i’ve always been a soup lover lol. i also have some simple snack ideas that i mostly got from pinterest as well so lmk if you’d like me to share some recipes.

that’s all for now! lmk if any of y’all have any more tips to curb inappetence! hope this help and rmbr to take it easy peeps. take care <3

please share with others if you think it might help, ik some of you are struggling with binging (and i still do!) but this has really helped me with it, it might not be for everyone but it’s worth a try! haven't seen anyone talk about it this way!

(updated: 10-21-2024)

[wildernezz]

dead poets society scene that cannot be slept on any longer (im just rambling and analyzing the sillies and pretending to be smart. also spoilers loll)

I GET THAT THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY BARELY HAS A FANDOM BUT WHY DOES EVERYONE SLEEP ON THE PUNCH SCENE WITH CHARLIE AND CAMERON?? IT'S GENUINELY SO WELL WRITTEN AND PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST DIALOGUE SCENES I'VE SEEN IN FILM??? HELLO?????

every single actor in this scene does such an amazing job. they genuinely all feel like such real and complex characters it's insane.

i don't care if you hate cameron's character but you cannot deny that his scene was amazingly pathetic. his actor did such a perfect job at portraying him almost like a rat backed into a corner. he's doing everything he can to save himself, telling himself he's the one in the right, the one with common sense, when he knows he's faking it. all his dominance is such a pathetic lie and it's genuinely impressive to watch it be portrayed so accurately. it is exactly what it's like to watch someone desperately claw for an ounce of respect. cameron was always a desperate character, and the moment he got the chance to drop his friends and come out "higher" than them, it just made him even sadder to watch.

and meanwhile charlie's the perfect example of failed justice and passion being outpoured all at once. he has so much determination and desire to stand up for what he believes, but it's all pouring out at once. he doesn't know how to handle all of it. he knows he's done for but he can't give up for the life of him, and it all comes out in a solid swing to cameron's face. that single punch probably sums up everything about charlie, and honestly everything i love about him as a character. he seems like a menace-y little bastard, but at the end of the day he just genuinely wants to do what he thinks is right. he's fiercely protective of the people he looks up to but he'll never admit it. that little shit has ZERO clue how to handle his emotions rationally and it's honestly respectable. he doesn't know exactly who he is, but his values are so strong that he's unknowingly guided by them. basically he's just a silly little guy and i hope he punches people more often :3

AND TODD THE BELOVED <33 he is so underrated in this scene it's insane. every word feels like it's falling out of him. he's lost his best friend and he's lost all control over himself. it's powerful seeing such quiet and reserved character unwillingly transform into everything they've been trying to keep down. i will forever be in love with how his character completely breaks down after neil's death. this is kinda just me projecting but he fr feels like a representation of all of my own thoughts when breaking down, except he's actually voicing them. todd supremacy for-fucking-ever.

THE OTHERS ARE ALSO SPECIAL TOO BUT THEY DONT GET A LOTTA LINES FOR ME TO ESPECIALLY ANALYZE SO IM JUST GONNA ADD RANDOM TIDBITS OF THE OTHERS HERE.

i absolutely adore how knox acts in this scene. especially his lines of "don't touch him charlie, you do and you're out," and then for that to be followed by "you don't know that" after charlie's little "i'm out anyway"?????? knox's entire personality in this movie might be about trying to rizz up girls (and it's a little concerning now but it was a different time guys please he's silly guys i swear), but he's honestly SOO sweet when he's not focused on that. he's just as protective of his friends and it's so nice seeing him be the voice of reason. like did u guys not see how quickly he reached for charlie when he was about to kick cameron's ass????? he genuinely wants the best for his friends and he knows them well enough to try and stop them from doing any irrational shit (even tho it failed later but shshsh). love knox for that.

meeks and pitts don't say anything in this scene, but their looks alone give off so much. you can just SEE how much meeks feels betrayed by cameron, and then pitts looks like he's still trying to process the fact that cameron would even do something like that. it's honestly so sad but god it's so amazing to watch.

anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk plspls ask me about films or drop ur random analyzations to me im so desperate to analyze my favorite little guys :33

[ale-cart]

I’m absolutely dying for any information on Dave and Karkat in your gleestuck au. Im obsessed.

Okay so first of all I'm sorry sorry for this being so late- I've had to think real long and hard about what I wanted to add here.

Second, I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this as much as I do. It genuinely makes me so excited when I see y'all's tags and reblogs :')

Hmm I guess I'll start with how they met? Which would be in middle school when karkats family moved to town.

Almost immediately they Didn't like eachother, karkat didn't like Dave because of his "douchebag shades make me want to punch him". And Dave actually didn't mind karkat until he found out why karkat didn't like him, then it was, "Jesus what a prick, maybe I'll fuck with him later."

After that it sort of just began a whole "I can do better than you just watch." Sort of deal, UNTIL karkat started gleeclub in freshman year (when Jake started teaching) Dave basically saw that as karkat trying to one up him again but he legitimately could not join. Mostly because of his dad (bro) having just started being enemies with the glee teacher, and well because he knew he couldn't sing. "Touche vantas"

That being said, Dave had been playing the drums and the piano since before he had met karkat. He would always practice late in the band room when he'd have a particularly bad day, otherwise he'd wait til he was home to use his own.

Funny story actually, karkat (for the longest time) had a crush on dirk. Until he found out that dirk was interested in the schools paranormal obsessed dork. He only found out after accidentally hearing Dave rant to rose about it, afterwards he gave up on liking dirk completely (besides being friends).

Junior year, Karkat has just heard about dirk wanting to try out (due to johns antics) and went to look for him to ask to do a duo together. That's when he passed the band room and accidentally seen Dave just hammering on his drums. He then sort of snuck in, about to give Dave an earful about being in there without permission, when he actually listened to what Dave was playing and "woah isn't that one of the songs we were practicing earlier?"

Which Dave didn't hear obviously, but when he looked up and saw karkat you bet your ass it scared the shit out of him, falling out of his chair and on his ass with surprise.

That's when karkat just sort of blurts out that he should try out for glee, that they needed more people anyways and since his brother was joining he might as well too. Dave immediately shuts him down, making a joke about being too good for the club which pisses karkat off and gives him a new purpose at the school.

Getting Dave strider to join glee club.

Which proves to be a bigger hassle than he'd imagine because damn, striders are really fucking stubborn. But so was karkat, and eventually he had to settle with what they were best at doing. He called Dave out for being a Wuss, practically. Told him that he was admitting that karkat was better than him because he wouldn't join.

Dave being, well, Dave. Immediately jumped to being defensive, "fuck it! I'll join!" And boy did he, and boy did he like it, and boy was karkat getting cute? Oh shit.

I'll leave this here before it gets too much longer haha, but please! Feel free to ask me more, there's so much I can say on this au (there's so much for everyone please ask me about everyone pls pls)

[paunchsalazar]

hey so I really enjoyed your kyokao longfic and i was wondering what the writing process was like since im planning on writing a fanfic (first time).

did you plan anything with an outline? or did you wing it?

anyways thanks in advance (and btw im doing another reread of your fic, it's so narratively satisfying!!)

omg woah first!!! thank you so much!!! that is seriously the most touching thing to possibly hear T-T

This is going to be such a long-winded answer but I definitely did not wing it!!! apologies for the long post but I love to see behind the curtain and think about process so...

That fic was my first multi-chapter story and waaaay longer than anything else I’ve ever made… so I kinda had no idea where to start. I wanted to make a rough outline to see if it was even feasible - was there a beginning, middle, and end? Even a super hazy one? before jumping in and writing a whole long project… (I had no idea how long it would be, but knew it was definitely longer than a few thousand words.)

it started as a timeline - trying to keep track of all the canon events via bonus chapters and sketches, then working to fill in the gaps with headcanons. Even though Ouran is silly, by the end they’re operating within a normal timeline lol….

After filling out a lot of the timeline with headcanons then organizing them in chronological order.. started to see the plot/opportunities for change - in the characters, their relationships, the state of their lives - especially with school, moving, etc. all of the above

I tried to make myself a guide to keep organized lol (totally unnecessary, but helped me keep track of things!)

the timeline started as bullet points - if there are any settings or occasions that would justify an “episode” - major holidays, group trip, etc. At least with Ouran, I tried to play around with the settings - The host club has unlimited resources which is a rare luxury… but wanted to keep in the realm of what they might do + think about fancy rich people things they hadn’t yet covered “on screen”

From there, it went to sub-bullet points, then trying to nail down each beat I'd want to cover - through narration or dialogue

It's hard to pin it down but sometimes certain moments - a visual, an exchange of dialogue - play out really clearly in my head… so would occasionally find that moment and then reverse engineer what would lead to that, then follow the thread to where it would potentially go…

Usually went in chronological order or at least made a list of beats all the way through, but then would jump back and forth to fix little things or add in details I realized needed to move sooner/be foreshadowed…

Outline/timeline > beats > rough draft > going line by line to edit + then hopping around to fix things accordingly

I had a lot of different docs... just because they get so big

+ I like to put unfinished things in blue (or any color, I like blue because red feels more negative to me lol) and then change them to black when they feel "locked" or at least like they're functioning. It helps me keep track of how much is left to do + makes it easier to find spots that need attention!

+ also like to have a "cutting room" document for everything I cut/don't know where to put/is redundant in case I want to use it for later, or even just to try to see what I was going for!! I've found it to come in handy down the line

Here are some examples of the WIP bullet points/blurbs lol... I also like to make "off-screen" notes to myself just to keep in mind, I did have a friend beta-reading some parts, but kinda do this for myself anyway just to keep it in mind.

From there it was just writing and rewriting... I usually go through a scene from the beginning and read until something trips me up, try to either fix it or make note of what the intention was and then go on to the next beat. I went chapter by chapter, in order, and tried to get each locked before going on to the next one.

Should also note that this fic took me a long time!! And I wasn't working on it with a super set schedule. It was purely for fun, so I just worked on it when I felt like it (and as it grew, I found myself wanting to work on it more and more! so it was exciting more than a chore).

I talked to friends about it, even if just kinda laughing about headcanons or jokes, and had a few people read through the beats and a few scenes to see if it flowed/if the dialogue sounded in character!

+ I did a lot of revisiting the source material or even just watching a clip when I felt like I was losing their voices. Idk if it was that successful... but it helped to keep them in mind!!

Anyway... I can only speak for what works for me! and I think a lot of these habits are coming from my storyboarding workflow.

Writing is so personal and there is bound to be trial and error!! I hope that you have so much fun writing, whatever approach you take!!!!!

Also what thank you so much for reading my fic at all and for your kindness!! If you ever publish your fic, please send me a link!!! even if it is ages from now!!!!!

[comingdownwithme]

Hello!! You, your (amazing) artwork and your headcannons have single-handedly gotten me back into the Creepypasta fandom, I cannot describe the reaction I had to seeing your artwork but everything you draw just feels so good to look at? I’m not explaining this very well, but your art style is so pleasing to my eyes, there’s just something about the shading, the lines and the way you capture emotions/expressions it’s just; chef’s kiss (I had a question I promise lol)

What made you draw Toby and Jeff as a ship/what are some past/future headcannons that you have for them? Or just in general if you want to use this as an excuse to ramble about them go for it, anything you say about them I will listen!

Secondly, what is your general headcannon for the rest of the Creepypasta’s? Also it might be because I’ve been out of the loop for a few years but I didn’t really realise there were ex-proxies now, if it’s something you’ve come up with for your story that is insanely cool to read about (anything involving the like, political(?) state of the proxies is fascinating to me).

This has gone on longer than I thought it would, many apologies! I hope you’re having a good day!

I'm?? So honored that my art and headcanons have influenced you?? Skjdjd IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AND MY CONTENT, REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME AND ADDS A FEW MORE YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN LMAO

As for what got me to drawing Ticcijeff, honestly? It started out as simply drawing the two characters I liked when I was a kid back at the archaic era of 2015 Youtube interacting, then it kinda... it snowballed from there– 😭

They both make me happy individually, so I figured bringing them both together would give me twice the serotonin (which did tbh) alongside the parallels of them both being reborn through fire, and my growing interest in these two were only enabled further by the few good Ticcijeff fanfics on AO3 lmao

As for headcanons? I'm just gonna,,, link some posts abt my dynamics for them and their lore and background so far because if I wrote all my thoughts abt them here we'd be here all day. (though there's absolutely more to come)

About their Childhood friendship

Another post about their childhood friendship! (Featuring the two's dynamic, Jeff's intrusive thoughts, and some additional background info on Jeff)

About Jeff and Toby meeting years later

What happened following the previous post

As for general headcanons for the creepypastas? Their world is a little bit more fucked than our own. Strict rules are set by authorities, there's a tight curfew in place for the safety of people, and death and missing persons cases have become common enough in recent times that it's become a morbid part of normal life.

Unbeknownst to the lay person though, the killers and criminals roaming the night aren't the worst one could encounter. There are incomprehensible- even malevolent horrors that defy the rules of the universe, that cross the boundaries of logic and reason, and even the dead won't stay dead for long in this world. In a twisted universe plagued by death and unknown creatures, even the scum of humanity have to carve a place out for themselves and survive.

Soooo uh, yeah, that's a gist of it lmao, but I'm gonna dump some specific headcanons too for the creeps, especially for each characters like I did here for the girls and here for Jack and Ben eventually!

Also, as someone who's been out of the loop for years (I just joined the fandom officially this year, the only social media site I had back in 2015 was YouTube 😭) I HAD??? NO IDEA EX PROXIES WERE A THING WHICH IS HELLA INTERESTING

I'm definitely gonna write down and flesh out the proxies and their relationship with the Slenderman, but thaaatssss for another time 👉👉

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

okay, so ive decided this is temporarily going to be a plush review blog. ill stop reviewing plushes whenever i feel like it, i might even feel like stopping after this one. who knows. get ready for some plush reviews, incoming.

the second plush im going to be reviewing is one i have. it's the new ENA plush.

for reference, this is the character this is a plush of.

okay, so first off, i am VERY impressed by this plush. it has many unique features, such as poseable limbs, and a zipper behind her hair with a turron plush hidden inside. so it has lots of cool features, and comes with a little something extra. and btw, her arms can be posed to be holding the turron, which i find very amusing.

a few problems with her i do have is that you can kind of feel the skeleton inside her; the stuff that allows you to pose her. this does mean the arms and legs can feel a little hard in some places, but she makes up for this by having her head be the softest thing ive felt in a long time. her hair is also a bit shorter than typically presented in the show. this might be to allow easier access to the pocket behind her hair, however i am all about accuracy, and i would much rather it be longer than have easier access to the pocket. but it's not too much of a problem to me seeing as the hair length is inconsistent in the show itself.

but on the other side, there's still some really good consistencies, such as her torso being all blue, as is canon. i also love how asymmetrical this plush is. which i'll get into later.

now, something i haven't mentioned is that this isn't actually the first official ena plush to exist, the original looked like this.

this was the plush that joel g originally sold for a limited time. i have also got this plush, although it's not in the greatest shape right now. i unfortunately didn't take the best of care of her.

some differences to note are that her clothes can be taken off, and this one has hair closer to the length typically depicted in the show. however, i still believe the new one is superior in almost every way.

for one, the new one's face has its parts outlined in black, which is not only accurate to canon, but makes her face look generally better imo. also, the new one has both ears. ENA typically has one ear covered, the original plush did not care to give her the covered ear, and her new plush does, which is neat.

something else i disliked about the original is how symmetrical she was. ena is a very asymmetrical character, and although her old plush did show her asymmetry with her blue and yellow sides as well as her socks, other than that, everything is symmetrical. which feels wrong with how asymmetrical her character design is. her old plush's arms are very symmetrical despite her arms being of different shape in the show, with her blue arm being blockier.

her asymmetry is portrayed much better in her new plush. it doesn't replicate the blocky nature of her blue arm, which is understandable, i wouldn't expect a plush to be able to pull that off well. however, it makes up for that by having the poseable positions be asymmetrical. not only can you pose the arms and legs in different positions, but the blue arm and leg both have joints that the yellow ones lack, which helps the asymmetry in her design come through better here. also, i believe her head is slightly tilted, which adds a lot to the asymmetry.

overall, this new official plush is great, and a much needed improvement to the original official plush. it doesn't cut corners, and manages to portray ENA's character very well in plush form, with lots of bonus features to come with her.

9/10 plush, love her. will give her lots of hugs.

[wildglitch]

A long Side tangent for the WIZ!Spidey x DCU AU

A longish post on what I think happened to the other dimension travelers. This is gonna be semi canon with the other heros! Timeline I sometimes mention. This means some of what I say is canon, some might be subject to change, while others I have decided to write total bs for.

And YK what the best part is? You get to figure out which one is which :D

Since this is gonna be focusing on a lot of other characters that aren't Peter, this is gonna be a bit longer so the characters can get at least one paragraph to them.

This is mostly gonna be off the top of my head since I only know what happens to Loki, T'challa and Bruce. The others I'm gonna figure out as we go, so we are doing this together

Anyways- let's start.

-Ok so lets break this into sections

Main canon: the one every post is talking about unless I say otherwise. Yk, the main au

Other Heros: the au where I add characters that didn't show up in the show, but canonically they do exist in the main MCU timeline so theoretically they could also survive. Yk, the Daredevil au I wrote a bit about where everyone dies, this is if they live

Absolut BS: Is there gonna be bs in the other sections? Yes. Is there gonna be anything serious in this one? Absolutely not. This is for those sweet non canon MCU characters. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, but sometimes I get an idea so good I wanna add it, but refuses cause I gotta lay in the bed I made for myself (it's fine lol). This is for stuff we know aren't canon or are very heavily implied not to be in the MCU. Yk, for funsies, (and cause team red is missing its degenerate, yes Im weak Im sorry! Deadpool you still aint canon to this until your movie comes out! You too Logan!)

With those out of the way, lets start of with the

Main Canon

-So, starting off simple are the people on the ship. T'achalla in my opinion, looking at the movies, is weaker than Peter. And since Peter dies in most of his crashes if there is no interference, the answer is clear to see. After all, the black guy always dies first :^

...MOVING ON-

No, uhh, to not just leave it like that cause, yes, it's sad- I like to think that if he dies then his ancestors and powers let him transcend a bit to the point of minor godhood. Meaning that if there were ever a godly meeting the avatars had to attend to, Peter would be in for a big surprise

-Scott, wtf happened to you bro-

He survives due to the fact he had the cloak of levitation, he has no clue what happened and due to his lower weight, gets blown away by the wind, never to be seen again. So sad

...anyways he ended up in a box-

No clue how he got there. He just knows that one minute he was disoriented as hell in the sky, the next he's stuck in some crate in some magic labyrinth with no hope of rescue. Long story short, he's stuck there for many, many months.

Scott: How Am I Still Alive!?

-Bruce is the Hulk when he gets chucked into the DCU, he's also at an old abandoned military base...why are there people here?

Ya so, apparently the abandoned base he was Hulking out at against a bunch of Zombies, wasn't so abandoned in the DCU. In Fact it's one of, if not the most top secret base there is in the U.S military. So imagine with me, this X foot tall green beast appears out of nowhere and is in some sort of rampage at this super secure military base. You're welcome, I just put Bruce on the Villains list. I can see a few JL members or maybe some YJ kids showing up and dealing with him. And since we know that Hulk is sentient enough to make friends and enemies, Hulk is sent to some top of the line prison while Bruce is unconscious in the back seat. The JL try to interrogate him, but they only get vage half formed sentences about being weak (not a good look) people (Valkyrie, his best bro, is very much missed) and a mission (protect spider...Batman filed that one away for later)

-Bucky...Ha! No

I've proven to myself that I like his character enough to make him important to Peter's Character and the Plot (since when is there plot-) so Ima save him for another post.

-Thor (+Rocket and Groot)

These 3 didn't get split up, Surprisingly. They end up traveling through Africa (yes, the whole thing) trying to find their way back. Thor in his depressive state, keeps fighting and trying to find a way to his brother, since he could tell that whatever happened to them, it happened because of Loki.

Rocket and Groot are just there, since they're aliens who have never been to Earth before, they are just treating it like that. Though they do know something happened and they aren't really in the same place as before, they aren't struggling as much as the Earth natives. Thor is also having an easier time, but he keeps forgetting he isn't well known here. It's actually a bit refreshing.

Think of it like a road trip DnD adventure as they travel through Africa then Europe then Asia, trying to find his brother but having no clue where to go. Saving people and gaining a sort of reputation as “That nice aussie that saves people'' alongside “The raccoon and Groot” (Everyone loves Groot)

Rocket Is a good dad and is just there protecting Groot and scamming people. And Groot discovers the internet. They continue to save people because that's what they did with their family, so they will continue to do that even if they can tell it's just the two of them again.

-Loki, my God…you sneaky shit-

When I tell you, Loki dropped in the middle of a league meeting. Im telling you, he dropped in the MIDDLE OF A LEAGUE MEETING! JL Light, JL Dark, YJ, the Titans, literally everyone was there! Why? 1. The league has a yearly meeting where they try to get every superhero team and hero esc people in the room so they can touch base. 2. Loki's magic…scared the hell out of them. The meeting was really soon and all of a sudden they get a really strong magic signature tearing reality apart? Yeah, they are gonna move the meeting up by a week to see what the heck is going on. Only for this British fuck to drop onto the table just ozzing out the energy they where Looking for. Yeah, you can bet all hell broke loose. 

Loki gets locked in a cell on the tower as they try to figure out who he is, but they have absolutely no experience with his realitys magic so they can't get anything off of him. Some of the more godly inclined (Captain Marvel) can tell that he's a god from another universe, but comes to the conclusion that it's best to just let things play out. 

Loki:...

CM:...

Loki: you’re quite the interesting child

CM: nOPE! You’re on your own. Good luck with that.

The hero's try interrogating him, trying to find out what he wants, and Loki is just like “nuh uh” and is just enjoying his time in his cell like the chaos god he is. Obviously he's playing all of them and getting info off of every single one of them, figuring out slowly where the other people could be and sending Peter to investigate the leads. Could he escape? Absolutely, he has walked to the kitchen more times than he cares to mention. Will he leave? No, he is in the most strategically useful place at the moment so he will stay there screwing with Batman until the League get bored of interrogating him. There are moments where they think he means no harm, and while that is true, it also means they might kick him from the tower, and he can't have that. Besides, scaring the Flash in front of everyone to keep his danger status is just so much fun.

And that everyone that should be in the Main Canon, onto

Canon Divergents: Other Heros.

Ok, so I like to think, personally, that everyone on this list died a horrible gruesome death before the episode started. But I can tell that some people like to keep them alive, and what is this if not just us having fun right? So this is a little “what if '' of the “what if ''. I don't know why they weren't in the episode, maybe they left, maybe they thought they were dead, maybe they were on another mission, who knows, you choose. But like I said, this is for fun so I’ll let you lil’ brains figure it out.

Lets start of with

-Kamala Khan. Ok so with this, Ima play with the timeline again. We never get confirmation if she blipped or not, but I don't think so(correct me if I'm wrong). So looking at her age I’d say she's around 16? In the year 2024 (holy shit thats this year-) so in 2018 when the blip/ the episode happened she would have been 10-11

You see my vision? Little 10 year old Kamala was possibly one of the youngest kids of the group, so her getting chucked into the DCU can only land her in one place. Foster care. You can make the argument that months of zombies made her jaded and able to survive the apocalypse and thus the streets considering I gave her the bangles. But I honestly think she was found right away and protected by everyone because of her age no matter the fact she has the bangle. She’s so small, it doesn't even fit her right. I think she's still a sweet, excitable little girl that is traumatized, but spent most of her time at the base being protected and cheering the others up.

 So, her being this excitable and happy gets placed into many foster homes. But she also has trauma and issues so the family realizing she's not an “easy” kid sends her back, moving her around a lot. I can totally see Peter actually finding her but the only thing keeping him from getting to her is the constant address changes and his lack of funds. 

-Darcy Lewis is truly in her 2 broke girls era as she takes the Identity of “Max” and starts working at a shitty Cafe.

-Moon Knight system

Remember how I said that only Jake was present for the Zombie Apocalypse? Well-

M: 8 MONTHS!?

S: Where are we!

M: 8 months!

S: What happened?

M: 8. Months.

S: Why weren't we here! Wait as second we- who are you 2?!

M: 8. Months…

S: Ahhhhhhhhh

J: *end me now* ( o_o)

Ya so instead of them trying to find the others, the 3 of them are actually trying to learn how to live with each other. The multiple Identities and accents are throwing Peter off

-Barton children

Ok Ima rapid fire this

Lila: somehow ends up with the arrows and being her fathers daughter, shows them up. Artimist likes her a lot

Cooper: He ends up in (you decide) city, and being his mothers son, starts doing some spy shit trying to find the others.

Nathen: lil’ baby somehow showed up at the Kents farm instead of his, and they sort of just …*adopt*. He's good friends with Jon.

Bonus points: Pizza dog is found as a Puppy by the kid and adopted as “emotional support” and “I must protect this poor dog, he doesn't have an eye for pete's sake!”

(These can not all happen, you gotta pick one kid for your hc cause I refuse to let all of the kids live no matter the au. The angst potential is the best part people)

-Last but not least Matt

He was found by a Church, the church sent him to the hospital, the hospital called him insane and sent by a psych ward, the psych ward said nope and sent him to arkham. He's pissed about it but like the reasonable guy he is, understands. Lots of the guys in there call him a “wanna be batman”.

He has no clue who that is but he is deeply offended.

I can totally see Peter finding him within a few days of looking and just going to visit him under the guise that he's his son. 

Peter:...

Matt: …

Peter: *glare*

Matt: soooo, how have you been?

Peter: I Thought You Were Dead!

Peter cant get Matt out cause Matt keeps beating the other rouges up. Peter is so done with his shit and Matt regrets nothing. That 2 face piece of shit had it coming.

Bonus point for the Batfam finding out Peter’s “Father” is in arkham. Just Bruce and Matt having the most awkward silent meeting. Neither talk for like 15 minutes at first. It's glorious.

+Miles morales. Oh you thought I was done? Tf I am! He's canon to the MCU so I’m rolling with it. Timeline wise, I’d say he's about 6-8 years old give or take. He can either A: get the spider powers and survives just like Peter until they find him, and Peter taking him under his wing, or B: im being the only person Peter could save because…idk, maybe he was having a confrontation with Aaron at his apartment and it turns out Miles was there cause he wanted to go trick or treating with him and is wearing a spiderman custom, awww, and kinda awkward for the two (mostly Aaron). Zombies come in, and Aaron sends Miles with Peter because yk, good Uncle. Yeah that works-

Miles' face is planted right in the center of brooklyn and like the good boy he is, waits for someone he knows to find him, (if lost, wait at the spot you are until they find you). He tells people his guardian is Peter Parker, but since Peter is going under a different allies, they can't find him. But Miles is determined and decides that he needs to stay In Queens so that Peter can find him, he knows he will.

And that wraps up that part which leads us to

Total Bull Shit

Yep, this is for those sweet non MCU canon characters. (No other fandom ones though, I haven't fallen that far from grace) (with this au at leasts)

These are just for the sillies and won't be canon unless they somehow become canon to the MCU (*stares intensely at Deadpool and Wolverine* sooooon)

-Wade Wilson

We all have seen the trailers ok, I see him, he's coming, we have all waited for this. And not only is he coming to the MCU but his reasoning works really well with this fic. He's crossing dimensions to fix the timeline and shit and he somehow gets chucked into this storyline as he's doing it. With his awesome fourth wall breaks, I can just see him showing up in Gotham for a bit, causing shit, and breaking Matt out of Arkham because he wants to do the Team Red thing. I can totally see him being super excited about meeting his first spidey lol. And Peter and Matt are just in a constant state of “wtf” as they deal with this guy that is apparently from the same multiverse and Universe(?) as them. Also, apparently it shouldn't even be possible for them to be in this universe, so that's fun

They warm up to each other and end up having a bit of fun I swear. He wont stay for long cause I can see this as being like a quick side plot in both the AU and the movie as he tries to get back to whatever he's doing.

-Logan. He's there for like a Minute, he gets there trying to get wade back to whatever they are doing, and ends up getting stuck too. Peter and Matt help them get back to whatever they were doing and when they offer a way back to their home, they say no for a number of reasons. Logan still ends up giving them a dimension hopping thing just in case.

-Andrew!Spidey from the main timeline NWH. Techincally hes canon, but hes also kinda owned by Sony so ima let this slide. Hes there for like just a minunte ok- he gets pulled into Deadpools And Wolverings Shit and decides “Fuck it, we ball” and helps the out. He sees little WIZ!Peter and thinks, “Holy shit, I just saw you!” and tells Peter about the weird shit he just went through with the other version of him and Peter is just amazed. Like “wow, a world where my friends are alive, a world where no Zombies came and destroyed the lives of the people I love. A world where I got to have more time with aunt May….must be nice”

Sorry-

Also- *has flashbacks to Andrew Garfield and Ryan Renolds kissing and the canonical list of people Deadpool is allowed to cheat with. ( o_o)

DP: heya hot stuff

A!S: No.

DP: yes

Wiz!P: Wtf is happening

DD: Look away kid

*Deadpool and Spidey comic dynamic of full display*

-Harry Osborn.

Peter: Hey Harry, who are those guys?

Harry: idk, my dad is working with these biochemists for a company from Russia. I think the name was some Greek monster? I don't really care. 

Peter: Oh ok, I'm gonna say hi to them

Harry: Sure, but be mindful of the creatures they’re working on

Peter: Got it!

Boom there’s your origin story. Peter just wanted to say hi to the nice looking Hydra agent and Harry let him.

Could we have him be hobgoblin alongside Peter when they are in gotham? Sure. Have it be like a nice spider that does no harm and his mean goblin bodyguard. Except it's the spider who can truly kick your ass. Also, just the absolut drama these 2 can have with each other is just *chefs kiss*

-Gwen Stacy

Just- just Gwen dude. Maybe she's from the DCU and they have a meet cute at a coffee shop. Maybe Peter Meets this super cute girl hiding out in a lab in the middle of the apocalypse. Maybe she's dead. Idk, idc, I love Gwen’s and Peter’s dynamic in TASM movies and I can see a traumatized dark humor version with these 2. Just give Peter his Girlfriend pls 

-Johnny Storm is one of Peter's best superhero friends in the comics. Spidey's first appearance is also in a FF comic, so it just feels right. Just integrate that into the story and you're golden. I can see them having inside jokes and stuff no one will ever get cause “you had to be there”.

-Nova, because I'm pulling from my experience with the 2012 show. No, I bring him in because I think it could add not only to Peter's character but also rockets and groots, considering they just heard the Xandar was destroyed, and all of a sudden they find this kid with an old bucket. They’re gonna get some feels, small as they might be.

Also, the ultimate 2012 team may have treated Peter like shite, but with better writing and stuff, these 2 could have been good friends. Sadly that doesn't really translate that well in the show imo.

Uhhhhh, anyone else for this monster of a post? No. Ok cool-

Idk when I'm gonna post the next part of the main lore stuff, but I'm gonna post this and some DC p.o.v's to flesh out some stuff. I might also post a bit of art and another fic in between the posts.

This is too long- have fun with this while I go pass out for a bit lol