#mickey annoys ian in every universe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

y0itsbri · 3 years

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kinktober day 13 - thigh riding @gallavichthings

the ink under my skin

alternative universe w/ tattoo artist! mickey

ian is a goddamn piece of work, but mickey is ready to turn him into a piece of art.

words: 5.2k

"get the fuck out of my store, man," mickey rubbed his eyebrow in irritation at the nuisance wasting his time.

"you said that you tattoo anything!" the man pleaded. pleaded. god this was fucking pathetic.

"i tattoo anything that's not a stupid fucking idea. if you don't leave by the time i turn around i'll chop off your nuts. maybe keep them in a jar next to your dick."

mickey didn't have to turn around to hear the gasp that the man let out. pussy. god, he probably would have passed out under his needle.

he heard the door open and close again as the man left. mickey continued rifling through his sketchbook when he felt a smack to his neck and a shrill voice pierce his ears, "stupid!"

"who me?"

"yes, you!"

"the fuck did i do?!"

mandy glared at him.

"maybe we would actually be booked if you didn't threaten every idiot who wants a stupid tattoo."

"i ain't gonna be responsible for that shit. it's bad advertising."

"i don't see why you couldn't have just given it to him anyways. he was cute."

"i'm not tattooing people just because you want to fuck them."

she paused, smirked.

"fine, tattoo them because you want to fuck them."

mickey choked.

"excuse me?"

"you heard me. you're bitchy when you don't get laid and you nearly snapped my neck this morning because you dropped your waffle."

"it was the last chocolate chip waffle, bitch, and you fuckin' know it!"

mandy bit her lip, stifling a laugh as the silence lulled over them for a minute.

after mickey no longer bordered on homicidal over his unfortunate breakfast, he sighed.

"hey," mandy squeezed his shoulder, "show me that new shit you were working on."

---

"ian, you can't be fucking serious!"

"what? it was a good idea!"

"in what fucking world!" fiona flicked his forehead from across the counter before returning to dish duty.

ian sighed, relented. "fine, it may not have been my best moment, but it didn't deserve that reaction! my nuts, fi, my nuts!"

"help me with these dishes or i'll chop 'em off myself," she pointed a spatula at him as threateningly as she could manage. despite the choice of utensil, the look she gave to accompany it was more than enough.

ian brought his plate to the sink and took over. fi leaned against the counter, sipping on her soda.

"you know, i think your heart was in the right place, but please ian, for the love of god, do not get monica's face tattooed on that set of horrendous tits."

---

mickey was halfway through an old client's new tattoo when the door swung open. when he saw who it was he jumped and nearly fucked up his lines.

"what the fuck, mick?" rossi grumbled from the table.

"my bad. take a break, i gotta take care of something."

when a milkovich said they had to take care of something, you knew better than to ask questions. rossi had been around the block enough to know better. he pulled out his phone, eager to avoid whatever confrontation the red-headed idiot was about to endure. poor bastard.

"get the fuck out."

"i just got here?" the man questioned, eyebrows furrowed.

"yeah, i know who you are, tits." mickey leaned against the countertop.

"okay, maybe we didn't get off on the right foot, but my name is ian, not tits."

mickey stared daggers into the idiot man standing in front of him, noting how his eyes seemed to look mickey once over from top to bottom and up again. mickey normally would make good on his promises of nut chopping if anyone looked at him the way ian was looking at him, and the urge was real strong, but he couldn't help but give a bit. bend until you break or some type of shit. and he was bending real hard.

"what do you want? another nudie?"

"i see how out of line i was with the whole situation. i thought maybe it would be perfect to commemorate my mother--"

"hold up, your mom?" mickey laughed, more amused than annoyed at this point, "that's fucked up, dude."

"yeah, i thought you were listening to me yesterday."

"nah, man. my brain shut off immediately after i heard the word tit."

a stare-down.

"i wanted to fix the tits." he said at last.

"so the tits are already there."

"yes." ian sighed, exasperated.

the guy reached to pull down his tee shirt, the fabric popping a bit with the stretch. mickey's stomach twisted as skin was being exposed bit by bit... until he saw the atrocity.

"no. fuckin'. way. not only is that an awful sketch, but the technique..." mickey cringed. he's seen a lot of shit, and even though this wasn't his art, he couldn't stand the sight of it on the beautiful man in front of him.

"so? will you help?"

"yeah, we're absolutely covering this shit. gonna have to pay me extra to stare at tits for fucking hours though."

"extra, huh?" ian's eyebrows furrowed again, trying to reason why any straight man would oppose to staring at the objectively decent rack imprinted in his skin. unless.

mickey had grown fidgety. he wasn't for sure that this guy was gay and even though his shop sported a rainbow flag in the front window, he still felt nervous just saying shit like that.

"uh, anyways, got any ideas of what you might want?"

"i was kinda hoping you could help with that."

"i can try, but i don't know your mom, dude. i don't wanna go all therapy in this bitch, but like, maybe we can talk between my appointments whenever you're free?"

ian perked up. was he making a move?

"but i'll be here. always here."

ian came into the shop a couple times. okay 'a few times' was maybe laying it casual. he was there everyday. sometimes twice a day. bringing mickey snacks for his breaks after learning that the man's healthy eating habits were practically non-existent. he shuddered at the thought.

ian had learned to look past the menacing front that was the threatening man with a tattoo gun. he saw mickey in his element, quiet and thoughtful. passionate and precise.

the more time that ian spent there, the more he understood that the messy décor of the shop wasn't simply clutter. it was clean and homely, in a way that felt very distinctly mickey.

mickey's sister, mandy, was there most times when he came in. she exclusively did piercings and bookings, so she didn't need to be there quite as often. usually whenever ian came in, she accepted whatever drink he brought her with a smile and a lingering touch before disappearing into the backroom for the remainder of the time.

ian didn't know much about businesses, but it assumed she was running numbers or some shit. he couldn't really care less.

mickey seemed to genuinely want to know about monica, asking about her life and their favorite times together. it was so odd to talk about her so freely with someone who had no prior judgement or hatred. he realized how deeply he missed talking about her. mickey occasionally made eye contact, looking up from whatever task he had busied himself with, eyes soft.

a few times, they had met out back, lighting up two cigarettes and sitting in relative silence. mickey looked like he had a million thoughts twisting in his head, but sometimes ian just being there seemed to calm him. towards the end of these breaks, mickey would stub out the remains of his smoke and indulge ian into a bit of his brain's workings from 'my brothers are idiots.' to 'what the fuck am i doing here?'

ian was too busy admiring mickey's profile that he didn't notice his cigarette burn to the end of the filter, slightly burning his fingertips. he dropped it with a yelp.

mickey's head snapped towards ian's then, eyes panicked before he saw ian cradling his hurt finger. he shuffled his boot towards the butt of the cigarette, crushing out the smoke, and in a move that completely shocked ian, he grabbed ian's hurt hand. mickey studied the fingers, bending them and straightening them again before kissing his fingertips. once. twice. he stood and wordlessly headed back into the shop while ian was left breathless leaning against the concrete.

at first ian had told himself that he was stopping by so often just to check in to see if mickey was there -- making good on his promise of being always here, though ian was growingly feeling dependent on whatever it was that they had going. something that felt caring and natural. something that brightened up his day.

and mickey had mostly held through on his original promise, but once ian just ran into mandy, his eyes lingering towards the backroom.

"he left early."

"you don't even know who i was here for."

mandy sighed as she laid herself across the counter, boots stacking on top of each other. "ian, you're not slick. you're a love-sick idiot. i know you wanna bang my brother."

ian's face flushed. she wasn't wrong, but he also didn't expect this kind of confrontation today.

"actually, i just thought about an idea for my tattoo and wanted to run it by him."

"phones exist?"

oh my god, ian didn't even have his phone number.

"uh, right. what's his number?'

mandy pointed to the sign with their business numbers. she smirked. "don't worry, it's his cell. can only afford one line and fucker wanted to look 'professional'." she put air quotes around the word.

"right," ian tapped the number into his phone, setting the contact name as 'mickey 🔗🥀' and then continued staring at the poster like mickey himself would just pop out of it. wondering if he would make fun of his for that contact name. wondering if he would even save ian's number.

"ian?" mandy called, halfway to the backroom already, leaving him alone in the shop.

"yeah?"

"text him!"

"right."

"fuckin' men," mandy muttered under her breath. "idiots can't even think for themselves."

ian smiled. she reminded him a bit of fiona.

[unknown number]: hey mickey. mandy told me to text you

[unknown number]: this is ian btw

mickey 🔗🥀: why the fuck is my sister telling you shit?

mickey 🔗🥀: what did she say?

ian 🚬: just that i could text you if youre not in the store. i came in today and you werent here

mickey 🔗🥀: shit yeah sorry man smth came up

ian 🚬: i need to see you

mickey 🔗🥀: oh?

ian 🚬: i think i have an idea

ian 🚬: for the tattoo thing

mickey 🔗🥀: i dont trust you. meet me at the shop later

ian 🚬: what time is later?

mickey 🔗🥀: i'll text you

ian paced in front of his cell phone for the next few hours. checking and double checking that his ringer was on. maybe he should just wait across the street from the store. no, then that would seem desperate. they were just talking. but who just talked after hours? oh no.

mickey 🔗🥀: ready now

ian was out the door so fast that the doorframe rattled and he heard something clang off the wall. that was a problem for later.

the front door to the store was unlocked, but the only light that was on was the one in the backroom. ian followed the trail of low orange light to a more private room that looked like if a teenager decorated an office space. which, in truth, wasn't too far from reality.

ian knocked on the door and mickey looked up with a smirk.

"suddenly had a tattoo revelation today, huh?" mickey questioned, walking closer to where ian was leaning in the doorframe.

"totally." ian cleared his throat and stared down at mickey's icy blue eyes.

"what was it?"

"what was what?" ian pushed off the frame, closer to mickey.

mickey chuckled, "the fuckin' tattoo, you idiot."

"right." he brought his hand up to his face, pretending to remember an idea that he never had. "there's no idea."

"i figured as much." he stepped closer so that they were practically breathing the same air at this point.

mickey raked his hands through ian's hair, somehow glowing even more vibrant in the orange lighting of his office.

he softly ran his hands down ian's chest, drawing a whimper out of the other man.

"mmm, would be fun to pierce those."

ian cringed, "uh... ouch?"

"but it'd be so hot." mickey countered with a lopsided grin plastered to his face.

ian considered. he brought his fingers up to trace mickey's own piercings on his eyebrow, nose, lip. mickey opened his mouth with the motion. heat electrifying ian's fingers. mickey's tongue licked out and swirled around his fingertip and ian melted.

mickey gently pushed ian backwards onto the couch. "here." he straddled one of this thighs as he focused his attention on where the imaginary piercings would be

"see, would this be so bad?" ian gasped as mickey's fingertips worked some kind of magic that ian was sure it couldn't be human. he was almost oblivious to the world under mickey's ministrations when he felt a pressure rocking against his thigh.

mickey tilted his head back, eyes squeezing shut. feeling the rhythm, ian knew exactly mickey was after. he rutted his leg up countering mickey.

"goddamn, gallagher." it was strained. oh my god.

ian lifted his hips off the couch, angling his thighs to where mickey was mindlessly aiming.

ian prided himself on his stamina, but the way that this infuriatingly small, tough-but-soft, incredibly grumpy tattoo artist nearly making him cream his pants like a fucking teenager just by grinding against his leg was ridiculous.

ian flipped them so mickey's back bounced off the couch. he scrunched his eyebrows, confused, worried? ian hooked his fingers in the beltloops of his own jeans and tugged down halfway before dropping to press his lips on mickey's neck.

despite heartbeats racing and nearly pounding out of their chests, ian felt mickey relax into the couch, up into him. his hand snaked between them, yanking down his own pants the best he could under ian's weight. ian laughed and sat up on his knees and then off the couch entirely, maneuvering himself so that mickey could get his goddamn pants off.

mickey flushed a deep red, but chuckled beside himself. ian allowed himself a moment to appreciate the fair bare skin before him, watching mickey's flush spread down his body.

ian leaned down and pressed kisses up mickey's ankles, knees, thighs, hips, stomach. mickey squirmed a bit, but his eyes held a curious gaze. ian gave one last sucking kiss to his navel before settling on the couch above him, meeting each other in the middle, building their connection towards their inevitable release with each grind.

ian's chest heaved as he diddled his fingers across his chest. after the moment had passed, ian wasn't sure where he stood. if mickey was a one and done type of hook-up guy. if he actually had any chance of getting his tattoo fixed. if he ever had a chance of getting his tattoo fixed.

"you good, man?" mickey asked from across the room, sparking up a cigarette, the cherry glowing amber.

"yeah." was all he could muster. neutral.

he made the mistake of looking over at mickey, eyes glassy and hazed, but not from the smoke.

"wanna watch an episode of friends? i still gotta lock the front door." he zipped up his fly. "hopefully tina didn't get an earful."

"tina?"

"she doesn't have a place to sleep. stays in mandy's office sometimes." mickey shrugged as if that was completely normal. and maybe it was.

"to be perfectly clear," mickey noted as the credits rolled across the screen, both their bodies too heavy to move from their position on the couch, slouched together, "the nipple piercings would be free." he smirked lazily up at ian.

ian chuckled, the breaths causing mickey's head to rise and fall with it, "yeah, great. i was really worried about paying full price for your fantasy."

mickey lifted his head just enough to give ian a stern look, "i ain't paying for your titty tattoo cover up, though. that's still on you, asshole."

ian grinned.

"wouldn't have it any other way."

mickey yawned and in a move dangerously intimate for what they were, they tucked into each other, sitcom laugh soundtracks coloring their night.

ian woke to the sound of something crashing to the ground followed by a "jesus fucking christ can you fuckin' cooperate for one goddamn day?"

he stretched his legs and let out an involuntary groan as he tried to figure out where the fuck he was.

"ah shit, did i wake you?" mickey asked, eyes wild but surprisingly apologetic.

"no." ian mumbled, sleepy heavy words riddling his mouth.

"liar," mickey walked over to the couch and ruffled his hair, paused a moment, placed a kiss on his forehead.

ian melted into the couch as he let the morning settle around him.

maybe they were something, now. maybe they had been for awhile.

"what're you doing?"

"had some ideas. mocked up some tattoo ideas for the dumbest kid i know."

"oh, who?"

mickey stared.

"right, got it."

"wanna come look?" he almost sounded nervous.

ian made grabby hands. mickey rolled his eyes and brought the book to him. his sleepy fog faded quick when he saw what mickey had been doing.

"holy shit, mickey. this is incredible." he paused, looked at the eagerness in mickey's eyes. the way that he was obviously so proud of himself but would never say it. ian would say it for him. "you're incredible."

the blush that ian had been so accustomed to the last few weeks made it's way onto mickey's cheeks again. he didn't try to deny it like ian thought he might, but he didn't accept it either. ian noticed.

"mickey," ian dropped the book in his lap, turning his full attention to mickey, caressing the side of his face with his freckled hand, "you know that, right?"

the glassiness in his eyes returned, but this time ian was there to catch the wetness. he swiped the droplet with the pad of his finger.

"you're kind." tina. "you're attentive." rossi. "you're strong." mandy. "you're hot." last night. he smiled. "you're incredible." all the time.

mickey had the softest look glazed upon his face. it twitched slightly. all his instincts told him to school it. bottle it. toughen up. but he didn't want to. he wanted to hear the words that ian told him and he wanted to believe them.

mickey brought his hand up to his cheek, pulling ian's from his face and kissing his knuckles. "fuckin' dork." no heat in it. ian grinned.

"which design do you like best?" mickey questioned, returning to the book.

mickey thought of it last night, staring at the light of his cigarette, the smoke hazy in the room, the television pixels cutting in and out, the heavy breaths and sex-sweat lingering from the man sharing his couch, pants still on the floor.

desire.

maybe ian's demons weren't his own, but hearing stories of his last few years, of his fleeting mother, he knew for sure that desire was something that ran hot in his veins as well. a desire for a better future, maybe. it was hopeful.

on the page was nearly half a dozen variations of flowers on fire. and ian had still stayed silent. fuck.

"if you don't dig the idea, i can do something else."

"how the fuck are you so good at drawing flowers?"

mickey laughed. "it's my literal job, bitch. now which flower do you want on your skin forever."

"anything will beat the titties."

"obviously anything will beat the titties. but which flowers do you like?"

after a minute, ian pointed. "these are cool."

stargazer lilies. mickey's mom's favorite. well if that wasn't a goddamn sign, he didn't know what was.

"why are they on fire, mick?" he whispered, the curiosity of a kid seeping through his voice. because yeah, that's what this is about, isn't it? the inner child making piece with the loss of a mother he never had. the woman who had accepted him when others didn't know what to do. the woman who would be so proud of where he is right now, even if neither of them knew how to support each other in the way that they needed. despite being so similar.

mickey thought about it. he had no problem baring his dick, but baring his soul was a little more than he had anticipated for the night. but hell, ian had already bared a soul and a half to him, the almost naive trust of someone who craved it.

"because it's beautiful -- the flowers, y'know. they're supposed to last forever if you take care of 'em -- press them in a big ass book or some shit. but lighting them on fire. maybe it was a choice. maybe it was by accident. and some may say they're dead, they're ruined. but they're not. they're even brighter than before. and the flowers still live on, if you look past the flames, the smoke. they may be burned, but they're still beautiful, ya know? the fire doesn't change its ability to be beautiful."

ian sat wide-eyed, clinging onto all of mickey's words like they held the secrets to the universe. like he hadn't thought mickey was actually remembering all his rambles from the past weeks.

"it's perfect," he whispered.

mickey smiled and draped himself over ian's lap, nuzzling closer because he finally could. and it was more than okay.

mickey had texted mandy to pick up extra bagels on her way to work. ian heard a ping from his pant's pocket across the floor. another. another.

he sighed and got off the couch to pick it up.

"mandy wants to know what kind of bagel i want." ian smirked.

"nosy fucker." he snorted.

ian smiled.

---

"okay, you're not going to pass out on me are you? drink enough water? eat enough food?"

"mickey, i've seen more needles in my life than your average client. and you literally watched me eat today."

mickey crossed his arms, unimpressed. "'nough of this big talk. tell me if you start feeling faint, yeah?"

"yes, sir." he saluted.

"cut that shit out," he huffed a laugh.

mickey shoved a shirtless ian onto the table, stomach first. it was after hours because mickey just fucking felt like it, okay? maybe he wanted to take his time. maybe he wanted to suck kisses onto the shoulder he wasn't tattooing whenever he wanted. and maybe he didn't want an audience today.

mickey could be professional, and he would be when it came to the things that count, but, with a heave, he perched himself up on the table, legs straddling ian's ass, crotch rubbing against his lower back.

"comfy back there?" came ian's muffled voice.

"yes, sir." mickey teased and shifted his weight on ian's cheeks.

ian grumbled something, but mickey seemed satisfied enough. they had already placed the template over the so-called "atrocious titties of ghosts' past," in mickey's humble opinion. the skin was disinfected and mickey had his favorite playlist, some space-themed shit that he made when he was high and honestly vibed to when he wasn't.

mickey brought the tattoo gun closer to ian's skin and was suddenly hit with the realization that this was the dorky kid he turned down a few weeks earlier. literally threatening to cut off his dick and balls. now laid comfortably and trusting under his own weight. he paused the gun, and pressed a kiss into the hairs at the back of ian's neck. his face turned, exposing this cheek. mickey kissed there too.

"suddenly sentimental over the tittie tat, mick?"

mickey bounced his weight, slightly crushing ian with a gasp of air.

"no."

ian frowned. mickey kissed his pouty lips.

"just can't believe this."

"hmm? getting to tattoo the hottest guy you've ever seen?"

"oh fuck off, you're not harry fuckin' styles."

"harry styles, huh?" ian teased with an eyebrow raise.

mickey flipped him off, then brought his hands to ian's lower back, massaging the muscle with the hand that wasn't currently holding the gun.

"just you. this. us?" mickey whispered.

"same." ian admitted, voice muffled again. he groaned when mickey smoothed out his muscles.

"ready, firecrotch?"

"damn straight, milkovich."

ian had always liked the sensation of getting a new tattoo. given that he only has two, he doesn't have much reference, but it was enough.

but having mickey be the one behind the gun was almost too much to bear. the man who he couldn't get out of his head, his heart, his space. the man who was so much tougher and softer than anyone he had even met. who understood him without words. who brought comfort to his days. who made fun of him without any trace of actual agitation. having his art on his skin, by his own unwavering hands, was something ian would treasure, lock in his heart.

call it masochism, but ian would do anything, be anything, for mickey.

after a few hours and a few snack breaks later, mickey wiped the tattoo one final time and sealed it.

"fuckin' sick."

mickey smiled, proud. because this was way better than the titties. this was ian. and his mother. and himself. and them together. in whatever little universe that may be where nurturing parents exist and love is real. he's already halfway there, though he wouldn't admit it to himself just yet.

"i do have one thing i still want to do." ian lowered the hand mirror, done checking out his new ink.

"what's that?" mickey took the mirror back, fingers lingering along ian's in the process. the corner of his lips quipped up.

"i've never given a tattoo before. you just gave me one... seeing that it's only fair..."

"and you're paying me for this, remember? or did we accidentally poke your brains out in the process?"

"no, i know," ian rolled his eyes, "but still. would be fun."

"for you. shit hurts when you don't know how to hold a gun."

"i did rotc, i know how to shoot shit."

"oh, then you're perfectly qualified. here ya go, ya g.i. joe looking motherfucker." mickey handed the tattoo gun over. ian started it with a startling buzz, nearly dropping it.

"christ, man. okay, fuck. here." he pulled out his fake skin, "trace this shit twenty times then we'll talk."

ian shrugged because, yeah. fair enough. he set the gun down for now and sat back on the table, pulling mickey's hip flush against his widened legs as they melted into each other, orange lights flickering in the backroom of the otherwise abandoned shop.

"mick!" ian busted down the door to mickey's office where he had previously been taking a midday nap, reruns of george lopez running on the old tv.

"the fuck?" he rubbed his eyes, disoriented for a moment before recognizing the eager eyes of his boyfriend.

"i did it."

"good job.... what did you do?"

ian chucked a piece of skin onto mickey's lap. "a circle."

"congratu-fucking-lations." mickey popped an unlit cigarette in his lips.

"can i do it now?" ian lit mickey's cig.

"do what?"

"your tattoo."

a puff. two. "fuck it. said i would. let's do it."

"now?"

"yes, now. before i change my mind."

"what do you want?"

"surprise me."

"really?"

"yeah, just no genitals. too many of those tattooed between the two of us, man."

"there was only one." ian rolled his eyes.

"that's one too many."

ian laid the template on the back of mickey's neck because, to quote mickey, "if you fuck up, at least i won't have to look at it everyday," which, yeah. fair enough.

ian had meant to straddle mickey the same way that mickey straddled him for the burning flowers tattoo, but it turned out that ian did not have the same steady hand that mickey did, despite having drawn twenty perfect fucking circles.

"you got it, ian. you can go over lines again later." his voice was surprisingly calm even with ian nervous-sweating a foot above him, as if it wasn't the consequences of his own goddamn actions.

he switched the gun off.

that was enough for mickey to sit up.

"hey," he managed to catch ian's eyes that were otherwise refusing to look at anything in particular. "you did your fucking circles. you can do this. i trust you." he brought his hand up to ian's cheek, brushing back into his copper hair.

"i trust you, too."

"then trust me when i say you got this."

ian nodded. yeah. okay. a breath.

they settled and ian turned the gun on again, this time making contact with the skin on the back of mickey's neck, slightly sunburned from summer's years ago. a couple freckles hidden in his hairline endearingly sweet.

mickey didn't even flinch as ian traced and retraced over his design. as much as mickey wanted it to be a surprise, he could feel it. the curves and point. he could feel it in his skin. he could feel it in his own heart. now shared. now open. he felt warm and safe, despite the sting of the tattoo and ian's mumbled stress cursing.

in a copy of the show from when ian got his tattoo, he handed mickey the hand mirror.

"wanna see?" a bashful blush. corny motherfucker.

mickey took the mirror, but didn't hold it up. he knew where his heart was.

he brought his lips to ian's. ian's hand brushed against his ear then paused before his neck.

"fuck, i don't wanna fuck it up."

mickey smiled against his lips, leaning into his body further.

"i love you too, you dork."

"you do?"

"of fuckin' course. you're literally under my skin, man."

ian smirked. "yeah, i guess you're under mine, too."

mickey pushed ian back onto the table. it's only fair that they copy this part of their tattoo ritual.

mickey might not be able to see his tattoo everyday, but he feels it. he feels it under ian's kisses as they move against each other. he feels it lingering touches in the kitchen when ian passes behind him. he feels it when he looks at the love of his goddamn life and thinks about how their love became permanent long before rings and vows were exchanged. how both the ink and the love grew over time. new memories and declarations etched into each other, woven into them. mickey looks into the eyes of his husband, chatting with mandy behind the counter of their tattoo shop, and he thanks the lord for one god-awful pair of titties.

#okay it's more of a tattoo artist au than actual thigh riding so like ... fair warning so you're not disappointed 😅#gallavich #shameless #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #mandy milkovich #tattoo artist au #gallavich fanfiction #gallavich fanfic #kinktober #kinktober 2021 #gallavich kinktober #gallavich kinktober 2021 #GK2021 #my posts

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tellmegoodbye · 3 years

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I was inspired to do this after seeing @spoonfulstar and @build-yourself-a-myth do it, so here we go!

fandom & random questions

when did you start watching shameless?

I started in december of 2020, my dad had been trying to get me to watch for years and I finally caved. Binged the first ten seasons in two weeks.

how did you start getting involved in the fandom?

I followed a couple blogs while s11 was airing and continued to ghost around the fandom after the show ended. I assumed a tv show fandom would be too chaotic and stressful for me but people turned out to be really nice and when I joined the discord people were super welcoming and were supportive of me when I got back into writing fic after a year of not doing so, so thank you guys. ♡

favourite shameless characters

Ian and Mickey ofc, also Fiona, Veronica, Lip, and Carl

what plotline from the show irked you the most

oh where do I START 🙄 yes this is my favourite show but it really tested my patience every now and then. I think this is a popular opinion but gay jesus is definitely the one plotline I could not get through without cringing. Also the way they wrote Mickey off made absolutely no sense to me. Yes, it broke my heart (fuck you shameless) but I still didn't get why they would not just let Mickey leave by will instead of sending him to prison.

Also s11. It had less to do with the plotlines and more with the way they were executed. And the fact that I couldn't really take any of the emotional scenes seriously (deleted scene, 11x06 scenes, ect) because of the camo. Like can they please wear normal clothes so I can focus on the plot? Lastly, why did they have to include covid? Don't y'all know we're using you for escapism? It restricted so much and I would've rather waited for the season than have it be covid themed and in the same three locations. It's also really hard to fully appreciate someone's acting (and understand what they're saying) when you can only see half their face.

That being said, I enjoyed the majority of the plotlines in this show and it still owns my ass despite my frustrations.

favourite line from the show

literally anything frank or jimmy/steve said, I guess it would be a crime if I didn't include "tell me goodbye" "what you and I have makes me free" and every other iconic thing Mickey has said. Also (this addition is brought to you by my gf) when fiona said "get in there, beef!" when trying to shove the meat in the oven.

fanfics you can't stop thinking about

Since We're Alone - this officially made me an enemies to lovers bitch and finally inspired me to start watching hockey.

Cooperative Gameplay - wasn't sure about it at first, but I ended up enjoying it a lot and I constantly find my mind wandering towards Ian and Mickey in this universe.

You'll Never See Us Again - this fic had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish and I will never get this version of the boys out of my head either.

the best concerts you've been to

98rockfest, I saw bands like shinedown, seether, three days grace, disturbed, chevelle, and more

jinjer, holy fuck seeing them live may have actually changed my life.

trans siberian orchestra, everything from the lights to the music and to how much variety they fit into the amount of tike they have blows my mind.

o.a.r, their concerts are just a lot of fun and I always enjoy the end when they play crazy game of poker and people start throwing playing cards everywhere.

piercings/tattoos

I just have ear piercings. I would like to get a second set of earlobe piercings, but that's about as far as I'd go. In terms of tattoos, I'd get something small and meaningful, and nothing with colour.

most rewatched tv show

ncis and golden girls

pet peeves

people who find me losing my shit easily funny, people who tell me to calm down as if it's simple, people who are passive/aggressive with me, and we can't forget about the sjws (the annoying ones, I know they aren't all like that lol)

random fact about yourself

I can't stand most fabric sounds, like if you're sitting next to me and you start scratching the couch or a pillow I will have the sudden urge to strangle you.

I tag: @messedwithmandy @grumpymickmilk @buffymilkovich @arrowflier @howlinchickhowl @gallawitchxx @sickness-health-all-that-shit @gardenerian @y0itsbri and anyone else who wants to do this!

#har rambles #tagged

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mmandymmilkovich · 3 years

Text

#LauraMilkovich4Lyfe

Haha you thought I was done?? (part 1) (part 2)

She’s good at math, especially for someone who never graduated 7th grade.

She’s got ✨clinical depression ✨ but do you think she knows that? Nope.

Her dad used to do some work in Sears Tower and after 9/11 she spends weeks pretty sure he’d get blown up. She’s more upset about it than she’d ever admit. Her dad used to call her “my love”. (He’s still the worst though, don’t fall for it.)

She’s big on old sitcoms and movies, like the kind of stuff they play on TV in the middle of the day.

She has a lot of nicknames for people she loves, and people who annoy her, like Mickey does in the show.

Obviously she swears a lot.

“I’m 13 but I’ve seen everything” (source)

“It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue” and “American Girl”

Questionable but effective Mean Girl parenting.

I don’t think her Ukrainian is very good, and it just gets worse and worse over years of lack of practice. She’s not too bad at cooking traditional Ukrainian cuisine though.

A C A B

She thinks there’s a lot of problems with Terry, but his looks aren’t one of them.

“I’m on his nerves, I’m pissing him off and ruining his day.” (source)

“You want your stupid eggs or not, dad?! Stop being such a prick, I’ll even make you sausage.” (x) & “Get out and help me push, tough guy.” (x)

Loathe to admit it, but there were positive qualities of their relationship... Food in her belly and a roof over her head. Protection. Mickey and Mandy and the other kids (family). Having a “place”, like being able to walk into any room Terry’s in and being able to put her arms around his shoulders and belonging somewhere (Mitski’s “Me and My Husband”).

“I am a house gutted by fire“ - Rainer Maria Rilke

I thought I’d be all about ice or the drowning motifs for her (The Mountain Goats’ “No Children”) but really songs about arson just connect to Laura so well.

“She Used to Be Mine” - Waitress

Sometimes I imagine she haunts 1955 Zemansky Rd. In season 11 when the house is foreclosed on because the meth lab in the basement blew up? That was her 👻your fave could never. (Did she also possess that nun and murder Terry the day after she herself died 13 years prior? Yes, yes she did.)

It's a sad song / It's a sad tale / It's a tragedy / It's a sad song / But we sing it anyway / 'Cause here’s the thing / To know how it ends / And still begin to sing it again / As if it might turn out this time - Hadestown, “Road to Hell (Reprise)”

Like, she’s this tragic figure, almost mythical, pinned down by fate. But there’s also all these forks in the road and opportunity that at every step you have to hope things go differently. That’s why she’s so well suited to AU stories. Like in every universe Ian and Mickey find each other and fall in love. In every universe we as readers want to spare Laura, but we also want Mickey to live.

“Family’s Family” That motto Mickey repeats in different ways isn’t a Milkovich trait, it’s a Laura trait. You can’t tell me that Terry would have fostered that sort of devotion and loyalty in his kids (Cousin Joey, Sammy, Aleks, & Zofia are willing to shoot themselves rather than help Terry). That ride or die, get-Lip-into-uni, what-we-owe-to-each-other mentality is Laura, and it sprang up as a response of her not wanting to be like her own parents.

In an alternate universe, we’re all fans of the show “Dysfunction” 😆it’s darker than Shameless but still a dramedy.

Mickey and Mandy graduating high school is important to her.

Laura takes over Terry’s drug business. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. She gets out of it eventually though.

Once upon a time there was a picture of the Milkovich house with a cat on the front porch. Do you think I can find it now? No. But anyway, this can adopts Laura.

Terry’s birthday, Father’s Day, the day Terry died... these dates continue to haunt Laura (mostly because of her terrible in-laws, but also a desire not to have her children have terrible daddy issues).

A lot of Laura’s main story would be about women’s trauma, especially the unexplored “Shameless” trauma and abuse of its women characters. Ethel, Sandy, Mandy, Molly, the Russians, Karen, and how all of this connects to Laura as she desperately tries to hold things together and deal with her own trauma.

EP 3x03 would have been a bigger storyline as Laura beats on predators.

At the end of S4 she does see the Levchuks again.

She joins PFLAG and then is like... “what do you mean we don’t threaten or beat up anybody? What’s the point of this? If we’re going to get rid of conversion therapy we have to electrocute someone.”

She can be soulmates with (Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s) Charlie Peters as a treat.

She likes Lip way more than she likes Ian. More Lip and Mickey scenes. More Mickey and Gallagher scenes tbh.

Laura, Lip, and Brad should do the motorcycle thing together with the Russian prostitutes.

Of course Lip would have a crush on Laura at some point because he’s dumb.

She’d accidentally enter that throuple with Kev and V and none of them would know how to break up with each other.

She would not just lose track of Mandy(!!!!!!!!!), and Mandy certainly would not have left in S5 with Kenyatta, Jesus Christ.

More dumb Iggy and Colin foolishness.

When Laura talks about her kids with strangers they assume they’re in the single digit age bracket.

#laura milkovich #mickey milkovich #mandy milkovich #shameless #shameless us #shameless au

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deanie1987 · 5 years

Text

My thoughts on 10x8 (LONG and SPOILERY)

Hey how about that episode huh? I have a lot of thoughts about it so this may be...uh pretty long. First off, I really liked the episode (at least the Gallavich parts that’s all I’ve seen so far. I am SO happy that I understand where they both are coming from and I don’t have to head canon anything. That in itself makes this episode much better than I thought it would be. Also, I have been vomiting my opinions all over The Internet so I apologize if I’m repeating myself.

First the good stuff: OPEN AFFECTION AND LOVE AND SMILES! The warmth that their happiness gives me could heat my entire house for a year. It is such a wonderful thing to see. From them arm in arm to holding hands in the diner to that incredible kiss at the courthouse (which has now jumped into my top 3 kisses) it truly is making the season for me. I miss the sex scenes and they don’t get enough screentime, but they feel like lovers to me, not roomates or pals. Finally. I also love that it seems like Mickey is 99% comfortable with it, but there is still that 1% of holding back.

IAN. Oh my god Ian!! *Fiona voice* He is trying so hard. He is doing his best to really communicate with Mickey and maintain a healthy relationship. But it’s hard for him and he’s not good at it and he gets really jumbled and nervous when he’s trying to get his thoughts out (god I relate to Ian so hard sadly.) He is initiating so much of the affection and the declarations and wanting Mickey to know that he loves him. We have been waiting for so long to see it and I’m so thankful.

The acting - Noel and Cam are a gift and they give this mediocre material such depth and emotion. No matter how ridiculous the plot, they know their characters and they take them seriously. I can’t imagine caring about this couple even a fraction as much if they weren’t played by them.

The character consistency (which is an extension of the acting) - Puppy Ian has made a triumphant return but that is tempered by his life experiences. He isn’t naive and idealistic anymore. His confidence and self-worth have taken huge blows over the years and it shows in how he approaches the proposal and then of course in his cold feet (and how desperate he is for advice now as compared to before his diagnosis). It seems perfectly in character for Ian to grab onto an impulsive notion with the best of intentions and then second guess himself and fuck it up the second it really matters. I think he is trying to control his impulses and I DO think that he had the best of intentions with the proposal and the marriage idea, but the self doubt crept in at the last moment like it always does. Having said that, they were fighting and rushed and I don’t blame him for wanting to take a step back to figure things out once circumstances changed. Unfortunately, his impulses once again ended up breaking Mickey’s heart and I appreciate just how good Noel is. The script never once referenced anything other than their current situation, but you could read on his face the toll of years of disappointment and humiliation and anger. My god.

Which leads me to the bad:

The last scene - I know that a lot of people hate the punch and think its out of character for Mickey, but I just don’t. Violence isn’t a first resort for either of them anymore, but it is definitely still in their arsenal. They threw punches in season 5 (Ian being the initiator), Mickey drugged Sammi in order to torture her, they shoved and pushed each other in season 7, Mickey tried to start a fight with one of the cartel guys then as well, he stabbed people in prison for pay, he and Ian both stabbed Chester with no qualms and Ian was prepared to do it again, he and Ian physically fought in 10x3 (they each shoved each other pretty hard), Ian threw punches in season 6 and physically threatened a lot of people as Gay Jesus. They grew up around casual violence. In the first few seasons they both sported cuts and black eyes all the time. They got hit by their parents, by their siblings, by strangers and by each other. It might not be as frequent as it was when they were young, but it is still a form of communication for them both, for better or for worse. Beyond that, Mickey is an abuse survivor who spent the last few years either in jail, on the run or in a Mexican drug cartel. To act as though violence isn’t part of his life anymore just makes no sense to me. He has grown tremendously and I do think that violence against Ian is something that probably horrifies him, but that punch was YEARS in the making. He tried to remove himself from Ian and the situation but when Ian asked him to communicate how he felt about things, you could just see in his face the disbelief and incredulity that after all his words and his grand gestures, that Ian would STILL somehow not know how he felt. So he walked back up the steps, maybe hoping that he could come up with words that would adequately convey the heartbreak, anger, betrayal, loneliness, humiliation and disappointment that he has felt for years where Ian was concerned. But instead he punched him. I don’t like it but I get it. And Ian seemed more annoyed than scared or genuinely angry, and I will be shocked if a big deal is made of it by anyone in the next episode. The falling down the stairs and leg breaking was an accident obviously and necessitated by Cam’s leg, but it wouldn’t shock me if the writers had something like that in the script beforehand. These are damaged guys who grew up and still live in shitty environment full of poverty, ignorance, crime and casual violence. The Gallaghers may be on the edge of upward mobility but they aren’t all there yet and that probably goes double for Mickey.

All things Terry and the Milkoviches - I appreciate that Mickey is no longer afraid of his father, but that whole scene sat terribly with me. This is one of the areas where Noel’s 5 year absence from the larger Shameless universe really stands out and it’s clear that trying to pick up where they left off really doesn’t work. The new Milkoviches are bland and dumb as well.

Ian’s jabs - I’m really ready for Ian to knock it off with the digs about Mickey to Lip. I’m glad that Mickey challenged him about murdering people (although again, seriously is really THAT much of a stretch to think that Mickey has been involved in something a little seedier, though you would think that Ian would know by now.) I hope it comes up again and Ian apologizes for thinking that way about him.

Episode as a whole - I didn’t watch the rest of the episode yet (maybe more thoughts on that if anything inspires me) but fast forwarding through the other scenes made the lack of character interaction that much more noticeable. It is ridiculous that Ian has had more scenes with Tami than with Carl. I hate it.

One last negative I guess. Every scene that we have gotten with Mickey and Ian together have been nearly perfect, but it isn’t enough and I really wish that they had started this storyline at the very beginning of the season and not rushed so much of it. I still kind of want a season 11 with them in it, because there is so much stuff that we don’t know. For example, I find it really interesting that in some ways, Mickey and Ian are somewhat back to their earlier selves. In season 4 and 5, Ian sort of devolved into drugs, prostitution and various scams (mostly due to his illness of course) while Mickey tried to be at least a little bit more on the up and up. They sort of met in the middle of the criminality spectrum. But now they seem to be more closely aligned with their seasons 1-3 situations. Obviously, Mickey is out and Ian has been diagnosed with bipolar, so their personalities have definitely changed since that time. But in the years that they were separated, Ian sort of pulled himself back into “normal” society for awhile with a legit job and vaguely middle class aspirations (at least until he went off the deep end and stopped taking his meds). In the meantime, Mickey was sent away to a real prison and worked for a Mexican drug cartel. No middle class aspirations there. For as much as they are in love and as much as I believe that they know each other better than anyone else, they have changed a LOT and experienced things apart that are hugely impactful to their development as adults. They are coming together again, but not as the teenage boys that they once were, but the products of their experiences mostly while they were apart and I really wish that that would be explored more. I know that fanfic can fill a lot of holes, but I have been so impressed with the way that Noel and Cam have played everything so far that I want to see them on my screen as these characters for as long as I can.Finally, next week looks interesting. I think that the majority will be played for laughs but judging from the stills, the emotion is going to knock us on our asses. I can’t wait.

#Shameless season 10 #10x8 #Review and thoughts #Gallavich

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loftec · 5 years

Photo

It’s been four years today since I put up the first chapter of NTW. Let’s celebrate with a new chapter, and a couple of sneaky extras.

I have been editing old NTW chapters (which has been slow, painful, discouraging work) and it felt impossible to write new chapters before I had finished the edit. I am not finished, but I reached the roguish chapter 20 last week and managed to talk myself into a bit of a compromise. So,

here is chapter 43, effing finally

and a lengthy account of this editing malarky under the cut:

This is a strange one, and I’m not sure what you’re going to think about it. Will this upset you? Have I ruined something you liked? I don’t know. I just know that it’s been four years (FOUR YEARS) and I really just needed to do this. So I’m going to go through the whole process with you here, to catch you up on why and what, and where.

(If you’re not interested in these changes, or in reading my rambling explanation, please have this PDF of NTW chapters 1-42, unedited.)

So.

Why!

I have been writing this story for a long time, and I was in a very different place when I started it. I’m hopefully better at writing, now, and I have a slightly different approach to how I write. Every time someone commented that they just started reading NTW, I would feel really awkward about it, because I knew there were specific weak points in the first half that I wish I had managed better when I wrote them. So I decided to go back and edit a little, no big deal, right? Well.

I ended up doing a little bit more than just correcting typos, and I realise that this might feel like a bad thing to some of you who care about this story, and have been reading it almost as long as I have been writing it.

What??

Not everything has changed, I promise. The story is still the same, and I have tried my best to keep the bottom line the same for each and every scene that have in some way been adjusted. The edits can be divided into three levels, in order of severity.

Level one: tone consistency

Little things you hopefully won’t notice. Trying to get the first half to stylistically better match the second half. I can’t promise it’s better, but it’s different and oh dang… I hope it’s better.

Level two: alternative routes

More noticeable changes which still remain faithful to what they used to be.

Example! In chapter 7, Ian and Mickey talk about coffee. Ian makes a pointless reference to Clueless, because 2015 me thought it would be funny. 2019 me would still make that pointless reference to Clueless, cling to it for a minute, and then admit to myself that it isn’t particularly funny and definitely isn’t in character, and then rewrite the scene. So I rewrote the scene. They still talk about coffee, all the main points are still there, but this time it makes some god damned sense.

Level three: DEMOLITION SCHEDULED TO MAKE WAY FOR AN INTERGALACTIC EXPRESSWAY

Substantial changes and additions.

Example! In chapter 16, I originally wasted some 1000 words ranting about Halloween before getting to the point. Why? Because 2015 me had thoughts about Halloween and figured what the heck, Mickey can have those thoughts too, that makes sense. Guess what, 2015 me? It didn’t! But the point of that section was never supposed to be “Mickey hates Halloween, here’s why”, but “Mickey is grumpy because his son chose to spend Halloween with his mom for the first time in ten years and it sucks”... which did not come across super clearly, all muddled up in me projecting my own thoughts on the poor guy. This has been rewritten to better reflect what I wanted to say with that section, and also include more Yev and better introduce Mickey’s friendship with Sonya. It’s more in character, it’s more fun to read (I hope) and it makes some god damned sense.

We also have a couple of pure additions, such as the second half of the infamously incomplete chapter 20, and little bits here and there.

WHERE?

Here’s a list for reference.

Chapter 1: edited (level 1)

Chapter 2: edited (level 1)

Chapter 3: edited (level 3), slight addition/change

Chapter 4: edited (level 3), slight addition/change

Chapter 5: edited (level 1)

Chapter 6: edited (level 2), slight alteration in dialogue

Chapter 7: edited (level 2), slight alteration in dialogue

Chapter 8: edited (level 3), pretty hefty edit, but no real addition

Chapter 9: edited (level 3), added dialogue in the beginning, minor changes throughout

Chapter 10: edited (level 2), slight alteration in dialogue

Chapter 11: edited (level 1)

Chapter 12: edited (level 2), slight alteration in dialogue

Chapter 13: edited (level 1)

Chapter 14: edited (level 1)

Chapter 15: edited (level 2), mostly just a level 1 edit, but I think I added a paragraph at the end that wasn’t there before

Chapter 16: edited (level 3), the start has been rewritten, large bit has been added, the rest has been heavily edited/rewritten

Chapter 17: edited (level 3), a few smaller additions throughout, pretty heavily edited

Chapter 18: edited (level 2), some heavier edits, mostly bits and bobs

Chapter 19: edited (level 2), pretty heavily edited, but no major changes. Except one, concerning Monica’s death (mentioned). Let me know if you want me to elaborate on why I made this change (or any change, of course).

Chapter 20: edited (level 3) FINALLY ADDED THE SECOND HALF. It’s nothing special, but IT’S THERE NOW OMG I’VE BEEN SO ANNOYED BY THIS FOR SO LONG. Also edited.

(Chapters 21-40 to come.)

And here’s the thing. I think the story is a lot better now, but I 100% understand if you don’t feel the same way. I needed to rewrite the version of it which is published online under my pen name, so I changed it. But! That doesn’t mean you have to read it. Here’s the link to that PDF again. Let me know if the link ever stops working, and I’ll fix it.

Lastly. I want to thank you (YOU) for letting me grow and get better, in my own time. Editing the first twenty chapters was a painful experience for me, they were incredibly uneven and occasionally mortifying. But I thought they were fantastic when I wrote them, and first put them up on AO3, and not one person told me a single discouraging thing about my poor grammar, sloppy spelling, or contrived references. And that means something.

I deal with a lot of “constructive feedback” in my actual work, and I know the value of it. But there is also something so uniquely wonderful about allowing someone to grow at their own pace, purely by encouraging them to keep going and do what they love, exactly the way they want to do it.

I would hope I am a more refined writer now than I was four years ago, but I wouldn’t be writing at all if I hadn’t dared to start somewhere and received the encouragement I needed to continue. So download the pdf and enjoy my humble beginnings, or come with me and enjoy a whole host of new typos in the freshly edited NTW universe. But whatever you do, please know that I remember and appreciate every click, kudos, and kind word you’ve ever said to me on the way. Thank you.

(If you have any questions about any of this, general or specific, please ask me!)

#shameless us #ian x mickey #fan fic #update!#NTW

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incomingalbatross · 4 years

Note

For the ask: 001: Doctor Who; 002: Wodehouse ship of your choice; 003: character of your choice from Psych.

Thank you!

Doctor Who

Favorite character: ...I mean, it has to be the Doctor. He’s the embodiment of Chaotic Good, and he’s so entertaining and absurd and so deeply good at the same time. Even if there are regenerations I like less than others, I always love the Doctor.

Least Favorite character: ...Rose Freaking Tyler. I don’t talk about her much, because I don’t want to inadvertently start something with anyone who feels differently, but this is not a Rose-friendly space.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Canon-ish: Ben/Polly, Amy/Rory, Martha/Mickey. Non-canon: Harry/Victoria, Jenny/the son of Kate Stewart (he only barely exists in EU, but the idea of the Doctor’s daughter marrying the Brigadier’s grandson is just really cute to me)

Character I find most attractive: ...Hm. The Eighth Doctor, maybe?

Character I would marry: Harry Sullivan. He’s a sweet, gentlemanly dork of a Naval surgeon with traditional values--what’s not to love?

Character I would be best friends with: The Doctor. Not so much because he’s the character most like me, but because he’s very good at Being Friends With People.

a random thought: One thing I really love about the New Series is the increasingly consistent trend--especially in Moffat’s era, I think?--of explicitly treating the TARDIS as another character. It’s been there implicitly for a long time, but they made it much more canon and I appreciate that.

An unpopular opinion: Missy is not the Master, and I’ll never believe she is. This isn’t even about her gender, but about her whole personality.

My Canon OTP: Ian/Barbara, from the First Doctor’s era. This isn’t exactly controversial--I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything, in fandom or EU, where they weren’t happily together--but I love them.

My Non-canon OTP: Master/Clara... Which is entirely the fault of my sister’s fics. I wasn’t expecting to ship them!!

Most Badass Character: ...There’s so many to choose from. Aside from the Doctor, maybe Sarah Jane? Aside from being one of the greatest companions, she got her own spinoff show in which it was established that she’s been regularly saving the world on her own, she adopted two children and began mentoring three more in her fifties, and she was generally amazing for five seasons.

Most Epic Villain: ...The Master gets highest points for Presentation (as Megamind would say), and the Daleks are the most consistently menacing... But I think Rassilon scares me the most. He’s the founder of Time Lord society, and he’s evil.

Pairing I am not a fan of: The Doctor/anyone other than River, honestly. (Well, or his Gallifreyan wife from pre-canon days--I assume they were a good match, from what canon evidence we have)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): ...A lot. Today, though, I’m going to say Sarah again. As said above, she’s a hero in her own right, and there’s no force in the universe that could stop her from having adventures. Reducing her to “female character pining after the Doctor and unable to get over losing him,” as they did in “School Reunion”, was a massive injustice to her character. (ESPECIALLY since their Classic relationship was not romantic. I mean, they’ve been shipped, of course, but their was nothing romantic in the writing or--IMHO--even the acting.)

Favourite Friendship: I think I’ve said this before, but the Doctor and the Brigadier. I love constant their friendship is, how much they’ve done for each other and respect each other, and how easily they fit back together every time they reunite.

Character I most identify with: ...I honestly don’t know. I love almost all of them, but I don’t think any of them click in quite that way, you know?

Character I wish I could be: Romana, maybe? She’s a Time Lady who traveled with the Doctor--that’s a pretty good deal!

Wodehouse Ship: I’m going to go with Mike/Eve here, for fun

When I started shipping them: As soon as the name “Jackson” appeared in Leave it to Psmith, I think. I trust and support Mike’s judgement. :P

My thoughts: I wish we’d, you know, seen them together. But I like that Mike has a wife he can take care of! I think that suits them both. (I also have a headcanon that Psmith went off--to the Drones, maybe?--and dug up dirt on Rollo, and that these discoveries were what pushed Mike to propose. Because he’s an honorable boy, and I think getting him to propose to an engaged woman would take some intervention from Psmith... Also I don’t like what we’ve heard of Rollo.)

What makes me happy about them: That they exist. That they got their farm, and that their best friends married each other, so the two couples can look after each other when they need to!

What makes me sad about them: No content. :(

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: ...I’ve never read any fic of them that wasn’t written by myself or one of this Tumblr microfandom, so... Nothing, really!

Things I look for in fanfic: Anything of them interacting with Psmith/Eve is especially fun. (Someday I’d like to try the scene where they find out Psmith and Eve are engaged. Because A) if they’re told soon enough, it would be the same meeting where they share the news that they got the farm, which sounds delightfully chaotic B) last they knew, Psmith and Eve hadn’t even met, and C) the second Mike heard they’d met at Blandings, he’d know Psmith was behind getting them the money. Somehow.)

My wishlist:

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: ...I’m sure there are other Wodehouse Protagonists who would suit them, but none come to mind. They’re good with each other.

My happily ever after for them: Hmm... For them to have lots of kids, and the Psmiths as neighbors, and play cricket with their combined families every summer. Margery can visit and be the fun aunt, and since they’re doing well financially maybe the Jackson parents will come live with them at some point? (I’d also like them to have a chance to help Psimth and Eve out of some significant trouble, since it’s usually the other way around... I don’t know what, though.)

Psych character: ...I’ll pick Henry, since I’ve been talking about him a lot lately

How I feel about this character: Good! He’s a good, though flawed, dad, and a good cop. (One of the few Lawful Goods in this cast, in my opinion.) He’s solid, and principled, and one of the few people who can really, truly keep up with/keep a hold of Shawn.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: His wife, I suppose? I don’t remember being a big fan of her, but he clearly still loves her, and I’m a sucker for “divorced couple reconciles” anyway... So yeah, Maddie.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Shawn, of course. Henry just... he built his whole life around raising his son, and it shows with him and with Shawn. They’ve both affected each other so much, and I love that the show just shows them being more openly important to each other as it goes on.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m not sure what’s “unpopular” here... But I think his training of Shawn was less about wanting him to be a cop, and more about giving Shawn A) something halfway constructive to do with his racing brain, and B) the tools to survive whatever trouble he'd get into in the future. Because, even then, Henry knew Shawn was never going to stay out of trouble.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish Shawn had told him he loved him out loud, to his face, which I don’t think quite happened. I’m pretty content with Henry’s content overall, though, I think.

Favorite friendship for this character: I’m going to cheat slightly and say Gus. It’s not exactly a friendship, but I love the implicit history there, and the way that Gus is practically his second kid and they both relate to each other as such. (I am also highly indignant that the “Henry & Gus” tag apparently doesn’t even exist on AO3... Distressing.)

My crossover ship: ...I got nothin. However, I have decided that in a Star Trek fusion AU (sort of a crossover!) Shawn’s mom would be a Vulcan. That’s the closest I’ve got.

#doctor who #psmith #psych #Mike Jackson #Phyllis Keeble #mike/phyllis #henry spencer #long post #ask games #isfjmel-phleg #thank you!

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meta-squash · 5 years

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I just saw a post about someone headcanoning that Mickey didn’t have internalized homophobia/wasn’t ashamed about his gayness and like I respect that headcanon and I definitely think that’s an interpretation that people are allowed to have, for sure. But it just made me think about my own interpretation I’ve had and now I wanna write it down because I haven’t properly like sat and thought about it before but one thing popped in my head so.

My immediate reaction to reading the post, aside from “Hm, not the way I see it, but I get where it’s coming from,” is that a big, annoying, whacked out thing about the human brain and shame/self-hatred is that you will do something while hating yourself for it at exactly the same time.

What I mean is, in the early days it would be quite easy for Mickey to be fucking Ian, enjoying the physical pleasure of it, while simultaneously totally hating himself for it. People do that with other things, like food or spending money or whatever.

My thoughts about Mickey and self-hatred/internalized homophobia have always been that up until he had to go search for Ian in S4, it was definitely something he was dealing with. I think, at first, it was simply a knee-jerk reaction for him to say “I’m not gay, this is just a good fuck and it’s easy”. He probably didn’t try to logic his way around anything. He probably didn’t try to convince himself that there was a difference between why he liked fucking Ian vs Angie or y’know whatever. We all know Terry was a monster, and probably some of Mickey’s brothers (beside Iggy) were like mini Terrys. I’m gonna guess he’d had homophobia drilled into him pretty early on. He probably did what I said above: fucked Ian while hating himself for it simultaneously, then tried his best to shove it all away. He’s a dick all the time because he’s terrified of being found out and because he doesn’t really like himself in the first place.

I don’t think his internalized homophobia was any better when Kash shot him; I think he was forward about it because he assumed he had the upper hand and definitely didn’t expect to get shot. At this point, he and Ian are at least kind of like friends, so there’s more of a fwb thing going on and he can excuse it all on that level.

I don’t think he really relaxes about it until after his second stint in juvie. 95% of his need to kill Frank is probably fear that someone in the neighborhood is going to find out, whether it’s his father or someone else, and he’s gonna go down for it. The other 5% is that fear of being seen as gay not because of other people hurting him but because he can’t quite admit it to himself. That’s where the “warm mouth” comment comes from. I think if he had admitted to himself he was gay, he’d have said something just as harsh at that moment, considering how bad he’s freaking out, but I do think it’s interesting that he reduces Ian to something fairly universal, a mouth. Again it’s an attempt to convince, like a “I could get whatever I want, girls too, this is just convenient and easy.” He will not acknowledge the fact that he’s the one getting fucked. Especially after Frank’s just found them in a compromising position.

But I do think he chills out. On coming back, he literally tells Ian he missed him (or his dick, I guess). They fuck in broad daylight, where anyone who knew to go under there could find them. At this point I think he’s managed to admit to himself that he likes fucking Ian (liking what I like don’t make me a bitch), he’s managed to admit to himself that he wants to spend his time around Ian. I think at this point he still doesn’t quite see himself as gay or at least can’t admit it to himself, because he thinks of gay people as much more flamboyant. That’s why he’s flip about using slurs about other people: he sees himself as different from them. But, again, I think he’s slowly warming up and growing out of that.

And then 3x06 happens, and I think it throws him backward in one way and forward in another. I think, after Ian leaves, or maybe even before, probably around the kiss (because it’s clearly something he mulled over after Ian’s comment), he’s realized that he’s gay. That he can’t change, will never change. That’s the forward part: that he’s admitted it to himself. I think, though, at that point, with Ian leaving and Svetlana pregnant, he does hate himself for it. That’s the backward part. There’s a massive difference between Ian and Mickey (obviously) in that Ian has a supportive family: if a Gallagher had walked in on them fucking, there would probably be some annoyed shrieking, but not violence. If Ian ever told his siblings what happened that day (clearly he didn’t), they would have rallied around him if not Mickey to support them. But once Ian leaves, Mickey has literally no one to back him up. Mandy, to some extent, but they’ve never been that close and Mandy’s got her own issues with a) Gallaghers and b) Terry so that’s not great. I think he knows he’s gay but he hates that he can’t change and he also probably hates that he knows he can’t fight back when it comes to Terry.

I think that a huge factor in Mickey’s internalized homophobia, his self-hatred, his irritability and aggression and anxiety, is the fact that Terry is around. We see this fairly well in the show, that Mickey genuinely is a lot more relaxed, more talkative, kinder, etc when Terry isn’t around. So once Terry gets sent back to the can for violating his probation, it seems like Mickey has a lot more space to think about his feelings and stuff.

By the time he goes to find Ian in S4, I think he’s kind of reached a point where the self-hatred has turned to exhaustion and the internalized homophobia has kind of fallen away. He still is absolutely in no place to confront his issues re: Svetlana and 3x06 judging by like every interaction they have with each other, but I think he’s been worried about Ian this entire time and once he knows Ian’s back there’s not a lot that’s gonna prevent that pull between them.

Again, I think a lot of his self-hatred isn’t just homophobia. There’s a lot, psychologically, that goes on growing up in an abusive household like that and in a financial situation like that where literally nothing is guaranteed, not even basic necessities.

But I think his time staying with the Gallaghers helps monumentally. Because he gets to see the way Ian’s family doesn’t even bat an eye at them sleeping in a bed together, that Carl is asking about their relationship in a purely innocent, curious way rather than a “can I fuck this guy up” way. Fiona interacts with him basically like he’s almost part of the family. The Gallaghers integrate him into their fold fairly easily. It’s very different from the “every man for himself, watch your mouth and watch your back” vibe of the Milkovich household.

I think the worry about Ian plus their mutual experiences and the fact that Ian is the only person he’s comfortable being out to (at the point of season 3 ending) is a huge factor. By the end of S3, we also know that Mandy knows. I think Mandy’s reaction helps some: while she doesn’t really have Mickey’s back, he knows she’s not going to snitch and also now knows she doesn’t care. I think all those factors and the time apart while Ian’s gone means that when Ian does come back, Mickey is fully ready to throw everything he’s got into this.

The other thing I think that helps is the extreme loyalty. Mickey and Mandy are both this way, and we don’t know anything really about the other Milkoviches, so we have no idea about them, but Mickey and Mandy both definitely completely dedicate themselves to people they love. I think to some extent they’ve even done that each other, though there is a little distance there just due to like a) being siblings and b) having to grow up in the Milkovich house like at all. But by the end of season 4, Mickey has definitely like fully dedicated himself to Ian. He wouldn’t have come out in the Alibi like that if he wasn’t 100% in it. He probably would have told Ian to fuck off and stormed out if he was anything less than totally dedicated to Ian. Somewhere between Ian leaving and the fight at the Alibi, Mickey decided that Ian was what he wanted.

Which is how we get to the Alibi. And, consequently, a direct line from the end of season 4 into Mickey’s growth in season 5. We don’t get to see Ian’s depressive episode except for the beginning of it in the last episode, but we know from throwaway lines at the beginning of season 5 that it lasted quite a while, and that he presumably stayed with Mickey the whole time. So I bet caring for and worrying about Ian during that time solidified for Mickey his dedication, and probably made him realize (if he hadn’t already at the Alibi) that he was straight up in love with Ian. Which, again, then makes the rest of S5 storyline track easily.

Basically, this is a long-winded (because when am I not) way of saying that in my interpretation, I do think that season 1&2 and even early 3 Mickey had internalized homophobia and/or self hatred. It would be somewhat difficult for him to not, in the environment he grew up. I think it’s also probably mixed up in other not-gay-related self-hatred he has as well. But I think eventually he admits to himself that he’s gay and kinda stops hating himself for it, and it turns into a fear of being caught and hurt/killed (S4), a fear of outside homophobia, rather than a hatred of himself, and then once he confronts that fear (Alibi fight), he’s able to really grow as a person and dedicate himself to Ian and really realize the full extent of his love for Ian, as we see in S5.

#shameless #shameless meta #mickey milkovich #gallavich

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izzyspussy · 7 years

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The Babysitter’s Here (6/6): Ian/Mickey + canon divergence, kid fic

1: he’s tall as my dad 2: we both eat spinach (just sometimes, not all the time) 3: tonight was just great 4: all that mascara 5: the king of romance

6: the sign for peace

also on ao3

A lot of things happen in quick succession after Mickey and Ian start showing little bits of non-platonic affection out and about in the wider world. Lip gets offered a TA and research position from one of his undergrad professors, which he accepts without any fuss whatsoever - things really have changed a lot in all the time Ian's been gone. Debbie gets an acceptance letter and a scholarship offer from her first choice college for next year. It's not a full ride so they'll still have to do some figuring, but Fiona and Ian both scream and cry about it in pride. (Mickey is there when that happens but he only laughs a little at their antics. A little while later Ian catches him nudging Debs with a shoulder and telling her good job. He feels like he could explode, in a good way for once.)

Most notably, in a day-to-day sense, all the Milkoviches seem to smile more. Ian earns some new nicknames: Svetlana reprises and makes stick "Pretty Nanny" and Mandy calls him "Shitty Brother 2.0" and once Yevgeny accidentally calls him "Daddy" (Yevgeny is embarrassed about it so nobody mentions it again, but when he's in private Ian repeats it in his head over and over and over again). Mickey also brings back some of his old nicknames for Ian, and gives him some new ones too. Firecrotch, Tough Guy, Private Benjamin, Red, Lover Boy, Van Damme, Gryffindor, Romeo, Rudolph when Christmas gets closer ("It's my hair that's red, not my nose," Ian laughingly complains), and on and on. By now, Ian answers to the tone of Mickey's voice more than anything else.

Mickey holding Ian's hand as they walk somewhere becomes a favorite activity of theirs, and Mickey starts kissing Ian at the door to places when they have to part. It's just a quick chaste thing, and Mickey pretty much looks like he's freaking out every time, but he does it. He does it and he keeps doing it, and Ian is so happy and proud of him and. Just. Fuck. How did they get here? From where they were? Ian tries not to think it's too good to be true. He doesn't wanna jinx it.

"It's about time," says Kev easily when Ian kisses Mickey goodbye at the bar in the Alibi without thinking because it's opening time and only Frank is there, still passed out outside on the stoop. "He missed you, man. All four years. It was pathetic."

"Hey, are you gonna expand on the babysitting thing?" Kev asks before Ian leaves. "Vee and I aren't interested in the canoodling part, though." Ian laughs, and tells him that canoodling is extra.

Mickey's brothers react about the same - which is to say, they pretty much don't. Except once Iggy looks up from the bowl he's packing in the living room with a dramatic gasp (it isn't lit, house rules since Yevgeny was a baby are that smoking happens outside, but from the smell of him he's already had one) and says, "Mickey, you totally banged that weird guy, didn't you." Mickey just spreads his hands and scowls at him, the universal 'what the fuck, man' gesture, and that's that.

Ian does end up expanding on the babysitting thing, taking on Amy and Gemma and Dominic and relocating so that all the babysitting happens at casa de Gallagher so that he can keep an eye on Liam too when he gets home from school (he's in second grade now, but Ian refuses to be one of those annoying grown ups who cries all over you because you're growing up too fast, especially since it's Ian's own choices that have made him miss so much). Fiona tries to pay him like everyone else, but Ian won't take it, reminding her that she never paid any of them for watching Liam before and Ian would just turn around and put it right back into the squirrel fund anyway.

Mickey and Ian and Yevgeny usually walk to the Gallagher place in the mornings now, and when Kev brings Amy and Gemma over the two of them go to the Alibi together like an on-foot carpool. It's all so domestic and routine, like their lives are really just normal regular lives. And then when the work day is over Mickey picks Ian and Yev up and they go back to the Milkovich house and sometimes dinner is waiting for them or sometimes they're the ones who make it and sometimes they watch a movie as a family - Ian and Mickey and Yevgeny and Mandy and Svetlana and sometimes Iggy. Sometimes Ian and Mickey have quiet sex and sometimes they just fall asleep. Sometimes Yevgeny wakes them up in the morning and sometimes it's Mandy or Svetlana or the sun through the window, but they're always together.

Ian is the one to take Yevgeny in to get signed up for preschool.

"Thanks, Mr. Mom," Mickey says that morning, with a kiss on Ian's cheek that he has to stand on his toes to give. "Ay, will you pick up some bread on your way home?"

They make out on the couch, right out in the open, and never worry about getting caught, not even by Yevgeny, who only giggles and tells them they're gross.

"I'll show you something gross," Ian threatens nonsensically with a grin, and leaps off of Mickey to chase Yevgeny in circles around the couch until the kid is positively shrieking with laughter and can't run anymore, Mickey watching them with that look Ian could never manage to catch before.

For Yevgeny's birthday, Kev and Vee offer to host him for a sleepover with Amy and Gemma, and Svetlana gives the affirmative before Mickey or Ian even think about it.

"We will have celebration here during day," she tells them imperiously, though her eyes are bright and mischievous the same way they always are when she calls Ian the nanny. "We will drop Geny off-"

"Yev," Mickey corrects, his lips twitching, just being ornery on principle or for the fun of it.

"-Zhenya," Svetlana says.

"Not much of a compromise," insists Mickey, grinning now as her lips curl up into a smile she can't quite bite down.

"We will drop him off before dinner," Svetlana finishes, Mickey not having anything to interrupt her again over. "Mandy will come with me and girls. We have our own sleepover."

"Sounds kinky," says Kev, and Mickey makes the most exaggeratedly disgusted face Ian has ever seen. Which is saying a lot, since Ian regularly tries to get toddlers to eat vegetables.

"Bye, Daddy! Bye, Ian!" Yevgeny calls over his shoulder as he races out the door before his mother, hugging the board game Ian gifted him to his chest, excited to share it with Amy and Gemma.

"Have good night with my husband, Pretty Nanny," Svetlana says to Ian with a solicitous wink as she follows her son out.

"Oh, I will," Ian promises, enjoying the soft blush making its way across Mickey's nose.

Ian puts in a movie he knows they won't be watching and Mickey puts a baking sheet in the oven. He sets the timer and then puts himself into Ian's lap until it beeps.

"Pizza rolls?" Ian laughs when Mickey brings the hot sheet over to the coffee table.

"Sleepover take two," Mickey says, his grin turning a touch regretful. But Ian doesn't let the mood dip, laughing again and pulling Mickey back into his lap.

"We live together," he points out. Mickey only hums in acknowledgement and kisses him and lets the pizza rolls go cold.

They make love on the couch, and Ian doesn't feel like calling it that is a death sentence on them anymore, and they don't have to be even remotely quiet. Ian thrills when Mickey calls out his name, and thrills to gasp and moan Mickey's back to him.

"You can leave marks anywhere now," Mickey tells him after they've caught their breath, faux casual. "If you want."

So obviously they go again, and Ian leaves marks everywhere. And Mickey leaves plenty of his own this time too.

"Jesus," says Kev when he sees Mickey next, Ian in the kitchen with Yevgeny washing off the remnants of breakfast. "You look like you got mauled."

"You should see the other guy," Mickey quips back, and his voice is light and easy.

He's happy. They're all happy.

Ian can't remember really ever thinking it was too good to be true, never thought he'd dwelled on it long enough for the universe to catch him. But apparently he must have.

Three days before Christmas, as the Milkovich household - of which Ian definitely considers himself a member, now - is putting up the last of their modest holiday decorations, Mickey's phone rings. Ian's the closest and the least occupied, so he's the one who answers it.

"Hello?" says a woman's voice Ian doesn't recognize on the other end. "Is this still the number of Michael Milkovich?"

"Yes, can I take a message for him?" Ian says, watching with a grin as Mickey lifts Yev up onto his shoulders so that the toddler can smack a window cling of a reindeer up as high as possible.

"This is the courtesy call he requested, from the parole office?" the woman says. "Terrence Milkovich is being released tomorrow afternoon."

The happy, colorful scene in front of Ian goes grey from one blink to the next, the sounds of Yev's laughter and Mickey bickering with Sveta and Mandy going all muffled like the snow from outside has come in. Ian shivers in that cold, his fingers going chilled and numb.

"Hello?" says the parole office woman.

"Thank you," Ian manages to croak out. "I'll let him know."

"I'm sorry," the woman whispers, her voice scratchy through the phone line, like she knows exactly what kind of news this is. Maybe she does. That doesn't make Ian feel any better. When the line clicks, Ian drops the phone onto the couch and then leans over the back of it, taking deep slow breaths and swallowing to try and loosen up his too tight throat.

"So what's the buzz, Ms. Potts," Mickey demands cheerfully as he flops down on the couch in front of Ian, making his phone bounce across to the next cushion. Yev is now being held up by both Sveta and Mandy, haphazardly twining mismatched strings of tinsel garland around the top bars of the blinds. Ian can't even manage a half-hearted glare or laugh for the new nickname.

"Your dad's getting out," he says. He doesn't say it loud, just lets it out into the room on an exhale, but somehow the girls manage to hear him too and they go just as quiet and serious as Mickey does, setting Yevgeny down onto the ground with grim faces.

"What are we gonna do?" Mandy asks Mickey.

"We'll handle it," Mickey answers her. "We knew he would be back eventually. We'll handle it. I'll call Iggy. We'll handle it." Ian slips out the door as Mickey scoops up his phone in one hand and his son in the other.

Ian goes back to the Gallagher house that night, and Mickey comes and drops Yevgeny off in the morning. He kisses Ian for much longer than usual, holding Ian's face in between shaking hands.

"You gonna leave me again?" he asks when he finally lets Ian breathe. He has his eyes squeezed shut tight, their foreheads pressed together, Yevgeny uncharacteristically quiet even in the face of their gross PDA. He must be able to tell that something serious is happening. Kids are smart like that, and Yevgeny's pretty smart about that stuff even for a kid.

"No," Ian promises, and hopes he'll get to keep it.

Terry doesn't get as handled as they might like, but he gets handled enough for now. As handled as they can get him for now without doing anything dangerous.

Ian figures he'll move back into the boys' room at the Gallagher house, but Lip offers up his room instead because Mickey's over so often and for so long.

"Who knows whether I'll go back to college or Terry'll go back to jail first," he tries to joke, and Ian gives him a smile even though it falls a little flat. "But either way, it won't be for long."

The Milkoviches have their Christmas at the Alibi with Kev and Vee so that it's not too suspicious for the Gallaghers to be there. Terry complains about the new house rules with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a beer in his hand.

"You trying to raise a pussy?" he demands of Mickey, and Mickey's teeth grind so hard Ian almost thinks he can hear them from where he's sitting at a safe distance a few tables away.

"I'm trying to raise a kid that don't have asthma or a drug addiction," he says, and Ian is impressed in spite of himself at how perfectly neutral Mickey manages to keep his tone, even though Ian can see the accusation in his eyes - even though childhood asthma is the very least of what Terry has done to him. "That shit's expensive."

Terry gets drunk and talks a lot of shit, but no one plays into the fights he tries to start (not even fucking Frank, for once, but everyone would still rather he wasn't there either anyway). Yevgeny has already gotten mostly used to Terry after living with him for a few days, but even still he clings to Sveta's or Mickey's legs and peers around shyly like he hasn't done ever since Ian's known him. He calls Terry 'Grandpa' but he does it with that quiet reluctance that toddlers have about things like going to bed in the dark or saying goodbye. Ian wishes he could still get drunk too, crumbling peanuts in his hands and grinding his own teeth down to dust.

"Fuck Terry!" Mickey explodes one day when he shows up to pick up Yevgeny, who is asleep upstairs. "Fuck Terry, fuck Terry, fuck Terry, fuck Terry."

"Fuck Terry," Ian agrees readily.

"Yeah, fuck Terry," says Lip from the couch, the words garbled around the filter of his unlit cigarette, but enthusiastic. Ian grins at him and Mickey throws him a dismissive middle finger.

They fall into a new routine. It's not as nice as the old one, not as comfortable, for obvious reasons. They shuffle back into the closet, the door just barely cracked, the space inside cramped and familiar. The soft crunch of eggshells underneath their feet becomes the normal background noise of their lives.

And then one day, Mickey brings Yev into the Gallagher kitchen in his arms and Yev is crying that he wants to go home. Mickey plops him into a chair and turns to Ian.

"I don't know what the fucking issue is," he says, running stressed hands through his hair, making it stand up. Ian smiles and reaches out to fix it.

"Don't touch my dad!" Yevgeny yells before Ian's hand can make contact. He jumps out of the chair Mickey dumped him in and-

He punches Ian in the thigh.

"Yevgeny Mikhail!" Mickey snaps as Ian lets out a yelp that is mostly surprise. Yevgeny pulls his tiny fist back for another hit, and Ian moves out of the way as Mickey yanks him back by the hood of his coat. He opens his mouth to scold Yev more, but shuts it again when the kid bursts back into tears. "What's the problem?" he demands instead. It would sound waspish to anyone who didn't know him, but Yevgeny is used to his father's brashness so he just takes in a big gulp of air, knowing Mickey really wants to know what's wrong.

"Grandpa says Ian makes you sick," he gasps out, wet face scrunched up and scared. "He says you'll die."

Mickey clamps a hand over his own mouth and turns away from Yev so that the toddler doesn't see him get angry when it's not him he's angry at. Ian watches him as he breathes in slow and deep, and he does feel a little sick - sick to his stomach not knowing what Mickey will decide to do, sick to think that he might lose them after all, that Terry will have taken Mickey away from him again and he won't have any way to fight it again and Yevgeny won't ever trust Ian again… But he blinks back his own tears and he waits. Mickey said he would handle it. Mickey had asked Ian not to leave. They both promised, so maybe…

Mickey squats down in front of Yevgeny, brusquely wiping his tears away.

"Sickness is caused by germs, right, Yev?" he says, and again Ian can't help but notice how steady he keeps his tone. "You know that, right?" Yevgeny nods solemnly, sniffing. "And germs do bad stuff to your body, right? They make you hurt or get all snotty or whatever, and that kind of bullshit shows, right?"

"Right," Yev agrees, his voice a little whiny from crying.

"Right," Mickey repeats, and tugs Yevgeny closer so he can scoop him into his arms and stand up with him. He props Yev on his hip and brings him over to stand in front of Ian. "He look sick to you?" Yevgeny peers up at Ian, lip wobbling. He shakes his head.

"No," Mickey agrees. He shifts Yev around in his arms so that Yev is staring at him instead. "I look sick to you?" Yevgeny shakes his head. "No." Mickey pauses. Takes a breath. Takes another breath. Glances at Ian out of the corner of his eye like he's nervous, but then looks back into his son's eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with Ian," he says firmly. "And there's nothing wrong with me. Your grandpa thinks people who are different than him are bad, but he's wrong." Yev wipes his own face now, sniffing again.

"What makes you and Ian different than Grandpa?" he asks, still a little watery. Ian holds his breath as Mickey sucks another deep one in and lets it out slow.

"Ian and I like other boys the way your grandpa thinks boys should only like girls," he says. His voice is quiet but strong all the way through. He doesn't stutter or hesitate. Ian breathes. Yevgeny's little face scrunches up, but only in confusion this time.

"But… You always liked Ian," he says. "He said you'll die." Ian wonders when they got the chance to explain death to him. Hopes he didn't learn about it from Terry.

"He's wrong," Mickey repeats firmly. "Okay?" Yevgeny nods meekly, and permits himself to be handed off to Ian. Ian hugs him close, both in relief and to comfort him.

"Sorry I hit you," Yevgeny mumbles into Ian's shoulder, exhausted from the excitement. Ian can feel his weight sink more firmly into Ian's hold as he starts to fall asleep.

"Alright," Mickey growls then. "Seems like I didn't handle that fucker well enough." And he marches out the door, his face so stormy Ian almost thinks he can hear the thunder rumbling, before Ian can tell him to be safe.

...

Mickey is running on feeling more than thought as he storms his way to the Alibi to confront Terry, his baby's crying echoing in his ears the whole way there. The snow crunches under his feet and he stomps on it to hear it get crushed. Over that sound Mickey hears all the much less satisfying echoes of all the bullshit Terry has said about people like Mickey, about Mickey, about Ian, all the times Terry hurt Mickey or someone Mickey loves (fuck Terry fuck Terry fuck Terry) and Mickey couldn't- didn't do anything about it.

But Mickey is stronger now. And above all else, he's a good fucking dad (fuck Terry fuck Terry fuck Terry).

Mickey tosses the door open and it slams against the wall, and the freezing air follows him inside, a fitting entourage for the icy rage that is pulling Mickey around by his balls. Terry is sitting at the bar, his back to Mickey, but he turns at the bang of Mickey’s entrance, laughs gruffly and raises a hand in greeting. Like Mickey might be glad to see him. He doesn’t even fucking notice the hatred Mickey can feel coming out of him in fucking waves. Like he hasn't done anything fucking wrong in his life that Mickey might be upset about.

Mickey marches right up to him and tells him in a furious rush, “If you ever scare my son like that again, it’ll be the last thing you ever fucking do.”

Terry’s smile drops abruptly, and Mickey’s stomach follows it, swooping painfully like he’s been launched into the air and gravity held it behind without him. The anger Mickey coasted in here on is still there, but like any time Mickey stands in front of Terry the old fear can't be kept all the way down.

Terry stands, slowly, deliberately, with presence. He’s an ox, a hulk, a mountain or a volcano, the god of abuse – larger than life in the terror he brings. He looks down at Mickey, and Mickey feels like he’s about to be stepped on.

“Are you threatening me, boy?” Terry asks lowly. The question is a warning, and the whole bar hears it and quiets. Mickey would love nothing more than to simply be silent like everybody else, to give up and crawl back into his cage, but he looks at Terry’s huge shoulders, his gut, his cruel face, glances down at his own shaking hands, and tries to imagine how this monster must look to Yev. Mickey thinks he knows. He remembers, after all, how Terry looked to him when he was as small as Yevgeny is now, crying quietly alone in his room with bruises on his face and that fear in his heart, not old yet then, and listening to his mother bustle about in the kitchen because her own fear convinced her that damage control was enough.

The knowledge that damage control is not enough sits like hot coals in Mickey’s belly, and he squares his shoulders, meets his father’s eyes, and the helpless anger he has lived with since he realized other kids had good dads, or at least dads less shitty than his, finally – finally – feels like something powerful, something Mickey can use instead of drown in, when he shows Terry all his teeth and snarls-

“Yes.”

#jack facts #shameless #gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #yevgeny milkovich #my fic #the babysitter's here

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