#michelle o'neil

[adamwatchesmovies]

Prophecy of Eve (2014)

You’ve never heard of Prophecy of Eve and the odds are good you will never see it either. If you do, however, you’re in for the kind of catastrophe that rarely gets released. Appallingly acted, unconvincingly choreographed, incompetently written, poorly shot, clumsily recorded and flawed from the moment it was conceived, this film would be laughed off of YouTube.

As a child, Eve (Ia Villatuya) witnessed her parents’ murder at the hands of demons living among us. Growing up on the streets alone, she has evaded everyone, even the members of the mysterious ‘Order’ - a secret organization that trained her parents to fight the forces of evil. A prophecy claims Eve will cause the world to fall to darkness if she becomes corrupted by those demonic forces. Years pass, then, Eve re-emerges as a leather-clad swordswoman and everyone scrambles to win her over.

Prophecy of Eve is a laughable attempt to create a new version of Kate Beckinsale’s Selene from the Underworld series but with a microscopic budget. Everything about the film screams "bargain bin". The fight scenes are obviously either excerpts from a karate class or students from the same dojo in costumes. Even if the moves were impressive, you wouldn’t be able to tell - the camerawork is so wobbly. To compensate, the editor repeats actions 2-3 times, often in slow-motion. At least it’s easy to tell what just happened. You’ll need every bit of clarity to untangle the mess of a story the non-actors are struggling to make their way through. You’ll be watching, trying in vain to remember all of the identical-looking characters (none of which have any personality) when director, producer, editor, production designer, art director, set decorator and costume designer Ron Santiano introduces someone new. You swear you’ve been watching the film for at least half and hour but if they’re still setting up the plot, the lack of talent must be bending time itself. It makes the movie simultaneously predictable and so novel you’ve got no idea where it’s headed.

Not one of the actors in Prophecy of Eve has a chance of ever breaking into the big league because the performances are on the same level as a kindergarten play. In their defense, there’s laughable dialogue aplenty and the special effects seem to be barely trying. Just about everything is bad, which means you’ll never run out of things to criticize or make fun of should you decide to seek out the film. A word of warning, however. Prophecy of Eve does the one thing no movie can afford to do: skip out on the audio quality. Much of the dialogue sounds like it was recorded by a mike at the end of a cardboard tube. This makes it even harder to piece together who’s who and what’s going on because you’ll only catch about half of what people are saying. You’ll be laughing or groaning so hard on top of what you can hear that subtitles are a necessity.

You can’t make a movie like Prophecy of Eve by accident. These people thought they had the hottest, sexiest thing ever on their hands. What they didn’t realize is that they had just soiled their pants out of excitement on their way to the stage. This film tries so hard to be awesome it spirals around and becomes so lame you’ll wonder if you didn’t stumble upon the wrong movie by accident. And that ending. It’ll have you screaming in frustration at the top of your lungs at the sheer audacity on display. I could never recommend it to anyone. Even as a bad movie, you could do better. I must admit that as I sat through its meagre running time, I had a lot of laughs. I almost want to see a sequel... but not really. (May 15, 2020)

[scarliefrancis]

If you're looking for a free funeral, you can go fuck yourself. No way, nada, nein, nicht.

BRASSIC — 3.02

[brendanfraserss]

SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR

by Michael O'Neill 1997 For Scream 2

[burrowingdweller]

Themmmmm

[thekeypa]

“We must keep doing everything within our power to ensure there is a full and immediate ceasefire. We cannot and must not give up until there is a free Palestine, where the nation and its people can prosper free from the shackles of occupation and colonialism.”

[39raccoons]

sometimes you just gotta sit down and make very self-indulgent fanart of a show that gets you through the day

[dontwanttobeasexyvampire]

[wolfpup026]

Part three of character sketch requests!

Empress Georgiou (Star Trek: Discovery) for @mirilyawrites and Jack O’Neill, John Sheppard, and Ronon Dex (Stargate) for @chaos-monkeyy!

[vox-anglosphere]

Sinn Fein's victory puts the future of Northern Ireland into question.

[robertocustodioart]

Michelle Pfeiffer by Terry O'Neill 1990

[april-n-irma-my2favedudettes]

[turtlesoup1990]

This movies April O’Neil is slept on.

[msuljic]

Redbubble designs!

[scarliefrancis]

BRASSIC (4x02)

[lgspears]

if The Jetsons live action movie was made in the 90's, Paul Reiser, Bob Saget, Scott Bakula or Mark Harmon would make a good George Jetson, Bonnie Hunt, Linda Purl or Deidre Hall for Jane Jetson, Jonathan Lipnicki or Liam Aiken for Elroy Jetson, Michelle Williams or Beverley Mitchell for Jane Jetson, Danny DeVito of course would be Cosmo Spacely, Leslie Nielsen as Henry Orbit, Ed O'Neill as Mr. Cogswell, Rosie O'Donnell as Rosey, Daniel Stern as M.A.C.C. and this one i think will be good, Dave Coulier as Atsro.

[thekeypa]

“The Israeli bombardment of Gaza and slaughter of the Palestinian people must end now. We need immediate ceasefires, dialogue and the creation of a free and viable Palestinian state.”