#metaphorically fuck in the woods and there was an attempted kidnapping

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

Super annoying that I can't even look forward to any of my favorite parts of Sea of Monsters because they changed the show so much that who knows if any of the actual book is going to be included in season 2.

This isn't even just a SOM/S2 issue, it's a whole series issue.

[rightfulcutsiepie]

Hi

can you guys forgive me for neglecting you severely

here's more food, person in my metaphorical basement.

He always thought you knew him better than this. But when he saw your face crumble from one of determination into complete despair, he didn't really know how to feel. You surely had splinters and scrapes all on the bottom of your bare feet. Such soft and warm skin ruined for something as stupid as a failed escape attempt. It's hard to escape a house in the middle of the woods with the tightest twists and turns everywhere you look for the next 30 miles.

He wasn't playing when he said no one would find you. You were heaving, scrambling to leave once more, and he just watched you fail to escape, a pitied look on his face. He appeared magically in front of you again and you screamed in anger.

"Just let me go!! Please- I just- I can't be here anymore. No more...no more."

Your shouts turn into ugly slobs and slurring as you clench his pants, head hanging as you cry.

G Sans stares down at you as you break down. He didn't know much about humans. Always ignored them, kept his distance. The surface wasn't much of a home. At least, the humans didn't treat him like he was a part of what is supposed to be his home. But when he caught eye of you, he wanted to make it work. He wanted to talk to you. He wanted to be near you. So he took you. It didn't seem like anyone would come find you, anyways. They'd ignore your existence like they did his.

But he didn't know a thing about comfort. Feeding you, bathing you every day, doing your hair. You were a high maintenance species and he's learning that the hard way. But for you, he would deal with it just to find the way to treat you the way you needed to be treated. Even if it means finding you outside trying to leave him again. He loves you.

Today, he learned that not only do you need your hair tamed every day, fed 3 times a day, bathed at least once a day, have your teeth brushed twice a day, and go through whatever tasks you want to in order to busy yourself. But you also need social interactions to remain sane. Or at least that's what you say. But he knows that you're kind of saying that to find a way to be released back with the rest of society. But you've already been kidnapped and he doesn't need you spilling crucial information for how you met him in the first place. So, for the first time, he told you no.

"You're a fuckin' handful, sweetheart." G's voice was deep and gravely. It made you sick to your stomach every time he spoke. Haunts your dreams and fucks up your morning when he wakes you for breakfast. He pulls his pack of cigarettes out and picks out his second stick of the day, lighting it. It was pitch black in the woods, so the lighter accentuated his facial features when he flicked it to life. Smoke rose from the end of the stick and he put away the lighter, inhaling what couldn't hurt him before exhaling.

He teleports the both of you to his large bathroom and starts the faucet, hot water shooting out into the tub. "What soap do you want today? Mint? Lavender?" He digs through the cabinet under the sink and pulls out a few for you to choose from. When he turns, you're there on the ground, staring out into space, ignoring him. You looked shitty.

"Lavender it is." He pours the soap into the water, the light scent wafting throughout the bathroom. When he puts it away, he grabs a towel for you and walks over to you. It was only then, that you smack away his hands when he reaches down to help you stand. "Don't FUCKING touch me." G sighs and kneels down to talk to you. "Honey, I'm just trying to help. You look like shit and I know your feet hurt, so just let me take care of you, okay?"

He ignores the tears welling up in your eyes and brings you to your feet. He softly tells you to get undressed and you do. When you step into the tub, G has already turned the faucet off and your muscles relax at the heat surrounding you. G gets rid of the cigarette before starting to wash you.

He gently gets rid of the dirt and grime on your body for the next thirty minutes. It's until he dresses you and brings you to bed that you realize that you can never escape him. The house he owns his humongous, hard to navigate without him, you can't cook anything with the ingredients he has, but he somehow can. And you certainly can't escape. It's over for you and don't even wait until he leaves the room to start crying.

G wipes the falling tear, his cold boney hand making contact with your soft skin again. He can never get over the beautiful feeling. "What's wrong?" You stare up into his yellow eyes that reside in his dark sockets for the first time today. You sniffle, lip wobbling as you clutch your blankets. "What's with all this crying?" You and him both know the answer to that.

"Please let me go home." Your voice sounds dejected. Soft and waning. G coos at you. "You know I can't do that, baby. I'm sorry. I'm trying my best to take care of you here. This is your home."

[msbluebell]

Golden Deer Route AU where, at the Gronder Field battle, instead of letting Dimitri run off to get himself killed they knock him out and drag him back to the monastery.

The thing to keep in mind for this AU would be that the Blue Lions are utterly, completely, totally, broken.

Both Black Eagles and Golden Deer have students that have severe psychological issues in them. But, for the most part, they have more students that have normal lives, or managed to get themselves back up before Byleth even entered their lives. 

This is not the case for the Blue Lion students. They’re all broken well before Byelth every stepped into the classroom and MAYBE one or two of them managed to put themselves back together before Byleth. Every single one of them faces a different type of trauma, aspect of grief, anxiety, or bad coping skill. Dimitri, while the most extreme example of the negative effects of untreated trauma, repression, bad coping, and mental instability, is far from the ONLY one. Annette and Ashe both have to receive a type of medication from the Church (I speculate that Annette has anxiety based on the mission description for her medication, and Ashe’s medication description and the fact the mission is just after Lenato’s death makes me think depression). With the destruction of the Church I believe that they also no longer have access to even that bit of medication.

Why do I keep focusing so much on medication? Because, for a lot of people, medication is essential to function properly. It’s not for EVERYONE, but there are a lot of people who genuinely need it. We never get a mention of medications again outside a Church setting, which given how secretive the Church is with technology and such, makes me believe that medications were a something the church exclusively dealt with. It is possible, granted, that academics have replicated the Church’s medications, but I doubt they freely distribute them like the Church seems too, which means many common people no longer have access to such resources. (But BBell, you guys say, this is a fantasy game and you’re reading too much into the medication thing. It’s probably just basic herbalist or aromatherapy.  To which I argue that this game had Fantasy Dragon God Nukes and RHEA, who knows how to replicate such technology and actively tried to stop it’s spread, would probably have an idea about medications so don’t @ me.)

The ultimate point is that the Blue Lions are broken people with bad coping habits, and probably aren’t even aware that they need help in the first place. They’re not exactly open about their issues with each other either. Dimitri puts on a mask for his deep-seated trauma and tries to hide his auditory and visual hallucinations the whole first half of the game, and with Felix’s (understandable) reaction to Dimitri’s breakdowns, I don’t even blame him.

I think the Blue Lions lose something essential if you don’t pick their house.

Now, theoretically, the Blue Lions should be a bit better off in Golden Deer Route than Black Eagles because they have Manuela, the school Nurse, as their teacher, but they somehow seem worse off than if they have Hanneman, the more impersonal professor. Manuela should be able to identify the deep seated issues they express and address them as needed. She’s a nurse, and observant, and a very personable teacher.

Then I realized SHE’S A NURSE.

She probably had them all on medications that they no longer have.

Byleth is far more interpersonal than the other teachers. They tackle the issues each student has by getting personally involved and trying to help them through what basically amounts to therapy. Manuela, a nurse, wouldn’t get as personally involved and would instead provide them with necessary medications and have them come to her if they so choose. While Hanneman, for all he seems hands off, does tackle issues bluntly and personally. He’s not as interpersonal as Byleth, but he doesn’t ignore it if it’s a problem and tries to give advice where it’s due. It’s not therapy, but he IS trying to help them figure out how to handle themselves better. 

So if Byleth chooses the Golden Deer House they Blue Lions are in the worst possible position they could be in. It’s not JUST Dimitri who is worse off, it’s ALL of them.

Now, with that speculated, let’s get to Gronder Field.

We all know what happens to Dimitri in Gronder Field if you play the Golden Deer Route (or at least you better if you’re reading my posts or else you’re going to be spoiled). He’s clearly a madman, no one can deny it, and it’s pretty tragic to witness because he seems so genuine and nice before the war. The Golden Deer students don’t actually have much of an idea HOW or WHY this happened. Yes, they would be aware that he was accused of killing his uncle, and was exiled, but they wouldn’t have an idea about the dept of the various betrayals thrown at him, or the delusions, and it’s really sad.

It would be hard to say what makes them knock him out and drag him back with them before he gets himself killed. Maybe Byleth does it because they recognize he’s mentally ill, maybe Claude doesn’t it because Dimitri is a good guy deep down and he knows he can help (that and keeping Dimitri alive serves him better than letting him die at the moment, idk), or, and this is my favorite, maybe Marianne asked them if there was anything they could do to help Dimitri, because he was a friend hers and she can’t stand the idea of watching him die (their support chain is so fucking precious and cute and just mutual Trauma support buddies and omg, I’m in hell thinking about them and their beautiful friendship. I ship them as platonic, but if I wasn’t so far in Dimileth hell I would totally have them in the running for possible romantic supports.). 

Either way, it ends up with them taking a lucky moment to knock Dimitri out and get him off the battlefield before he dies.

Getting him off the field is a bit harder than it should be. He’s a big guy, and made of solid muscle and heavy armor, and Gustav and the army is hardly going to sit by quietly while you basically kidnap the crown prince.

(But the thing that gets Dimitri off the field is the fact that Gustav LOVES Dimitri. He loves that boy like a son, like he’s his own. And he would NEVER admit it, but it’s true. And it’s true for Rodrigue too. And Dimitri is unconscious, and his face isn’t a scold for one, it’s the most peaceful he’s looked since they find him in the woods, and the sight of him like that nearly brings tears to both their eyes. They’re both failed fathers. Gustav failed Annette, and he failed Dimitri. And Rodrigue failed Glenn, and then Felix, and now Dimitri too. And they’re both realizing that Dimitri is so terribly broken and they don’t know how to fix him and it may be half their fault, and so when Byleth convinces them that this is what’s best for him, that they can HELP, that he can get better if they just let Claude give him the resources he needs to recover…well, they can’t say no. It’s the strongest Rodrigue has been in a long time, he thinks, finding the courage to agree despite knowing that Dimitri won’t be happy. And it’s also the closest he’s been to keeping his promise to Lambert).

So the Golden Deer get the unconscious Dimitri back to Garreg Mach, the army of Faerghus on their heels.

There’s a lot of debate about what to do from there, but since Claude is the highest authority there  (with Dimitri unconscious and not yet fit to rule) it all defers to him and his council. In the end it’s decided Dimitri is a danger to himself and others for now and has to be kept somewhere out of the way, but where he can be observed to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. (And, oh, isn’t that a gut punch to Gustav and Rodrigue).

So they set him up on the Arch-Bishop’s floor since no one is using it for now. That way he has plenty of space, a room, and can go onto the balcony if needed. It’s just until he recovers a bit, CLaude and Byleth promise, and we’ll let him down as soon as we’re sure he won’t hurt himself or others. Besides, they need to figure out what caused the madness in the first place.

It’s actually Manuela, Byleth, and Marianne that end up being the most valuable resources to Dimitri’s recover. Manuela and Byelth are both good at identifying the issue. Dimitri sees and hears the dead. This isn’t just a metaphor, he’s having active hallucinations brought upon by survivor’s guilt and isolation. The five years on the run would have only worsened this.

But it’s Marianne who understands the core issues outside that. She, like Dimitri, has severe survivor’s guilt, and wishes to die. She won’t kill herself, just like Dimitri won’t, but she prays for death. In a way, she speculates, Dimitri is also praying for death. For him, vengeance is either his reason to live, the reason for why HE had to live while everyone else died, or the road to take to reach the death he feels he deserves. He feels he’s undeserving of life, or kindness, but he’s still alive, so he has to do something to make up for that fact. She explains that to the others, and she understand because she feels that way too sometimes, and it’s critical in their approach to Dimitri. It’s something that will definitely take a lot of time, but I think that, with more than just Byleth trying to do something about it, then there can be progress that doesn’t necessarily NEED something as dramatic as an assassination attempt to snap him out of it (why we needed that assassination attempt in the game is worthy of it’s own meta, but the long and short of it is that the timing drastically needed it before they marched to Enbarr and Dimitri needed to realize FAST that his 1) his actions are awful 2) people DO still love and care about him even despite his actions 2) HE IS WORTHY OF LIFE)

The other Blue Lions are there too, most of them anyway. Ashe is a traitor, Felix claims, because he sided with the Empire after Lenato’s Death. But most of them are there, and far more broken than they were, and none of them are even surprised Dimitri has fallen so far because most of them aren’t much better. Sylvain always had an inner darkness in him, and while he’s not outright insane like Dimitri, he’s gets intense on the battlefield. Ingrid is barely holding herself together, dealing with the loss of everything and the war trauma, and Felix is left to realize that the only thing worse than being right about Dimitri was watching it happen to everyone around him too. Mercedes and Annette are there, too, and they’re better than everyone else, but still, it’s not GREAT.

But, I think, they CAN get better. Not fixed, but in a better place. After all, Dimitri even states in the Blue Lion Route that he’ll always live with his hallucinations. The thing, though, is that getting better requires active care, time, and effort (both from the patients and the people that need to help them) and Dimitri and the Blue Lions get all three at the end of this scenario.

[sam-i-am-27]

Split

Summary: Felix just wanted a birthday with his friends. Mark just wanted to go home and not bother anyone. Instead of getting their wishes, they and Ethan are kidnapped by a strange man in a doctor’s outfit and a German accent.

Word Count: 1700

Warnings: Kidnapping, Nudity Implication, Urine, Abuse, Crying

Yes, this is an AU of the movie Split. 

At the party, there were almost a dozen teenagers gathered around one boy with bleached blonde hair and the beginnings of a thick, curly beard. All of them were belting at the tops of their lungs a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ as they stared at a chocolate cake decorated with the same words. All of them seemed happy, except one. This boy was sitting over to the side of the party, looking out the window and ignoring all the celebrations.

Ten minutes later, the boy was still sitting there, now on his phone and talking to someone quietly. The birthday boy walked up to his mother and best friend, shrugging. “Mercy invites always end up like this.”

“It was your idea to invite everyone in your editing class,” his mother said.

“What? That’s literally the rudest thing anyone could do, especially since she has no social media that I know of and because of that, I had to ask her either up-front or not at all.”

His mother smiled. “I’m proud that you think that way, Felix… I hope my pride is in the right place.”

“I mean, Mark’s one of those people who’s a bit of a rebel. He yells at teachers a lot, and consequently, he gets detention a lot.”

“What a big word, Felix!” his friend commented.

“Shut up, Ethan,” Felix said, giving his friend a playful punch in the shoulder. “Maybe she can uber?”

“No, we’re not leaving until she’s got a visible ride outside the door. And that’s final,” his mother said. They quieted down as Mark got off the phone and approached the three.

“Yeah, uh, my uncle’s stuck in heavy traffic and won’t be here for another three hours or so. I’ll be fine waiting by myself. Or even better, I’ll take the bus” he said.

“You’re not taking a bus. We’ll drive you home, it’s fine,” Felix’s mother smiled softly. “This may be the last time I get to drive you around since Felix has almost saved up enough for his own car!”

Felix scowled at his mom, his ears growing a bit red as Ethan hid a smirk behind his hand.

“Uh, no. I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

“Nonsense, it’ll be fine!” Felix’s mom said.

“All you’ll be missing if you don’t come is a weird music choice somewhere between Bowie and Cardi B,” Felix said.

Without much choice, Mark followed the family out of the establishment and into the parking lot, lagging behind a little since he didn’t really know either Felix or Ethan. They reached the car and slowly began piling Felix’s coutless presents into the trunk. As Felix and Ethan piled into the back seats of the car, Mark helped Felix’s mother with the leftover food and gifts.

“Thank you, Mark. I got the rest,” she said, giving him a warm smile. Not wanting to argue, he got into the shotgun seat and waited quietly. In the back, he could hear Felix and Ethan laughing about whatever videos they had found posted by their classmates. There was a thud as the trunk closed and instinctively, Mark glanced at the side-view mirror to see if something was coming up behind him.

There was nothing there so when the door next to him opened, he pulled on his seat belt. As he was about to fasten it into the lock, he glanced back into the mirror. Boxes of cake and pizza were splattered all over the ground. Birthday gifts were strewn about the food.

As slow as possible, Mark turned in his seat, letting the seat belt fall back into place. In the place where Felix’s mom was supposed to be was a middle-aged man wearing a long white lab coat, rubber gloves and spotless teal scrubs. His hair was mostly hidden by one of those weird hats but a few strands of green were poking out around his square-rim glasses.

He sighed in annoyance, pulling out a green cloth, wrapping it around his index finger and scrubbing the little hula lady atop the dashboard. He then began to meticulously pick up little pieces of trash and place them into the cupholder.

Felix and Ethan’s laughs subsided as they finally realized that Felix’s mother had been replaced.

“Sir, I think you have the wrong car,” Felix said.

The Doctor didn’t say anything, only completing his doctor-look with a surgical mask. Mark’s mind raced a million miles in less than half-a-second. He was either protecting his identity or was protecting himself from something airborne. Either way, this wasn’t the situation he needed to be in and he needed to escape right now.

The question was answered within seconds, he had locked the doors and was spraying some sort of chemical into both Felix and Ethan’s faces, making them cough for a few seconds and then pass out cold.

Mark’s world tunneled. Definitely not a situation he needed to be in. Everything was going in slow-motion, the only sounds were Mark’s own heart beat and the annoyed sighs of the Doctor as he continued to clean the dashboard with his yellow cloth.

Not daring to breath, Mark reached up and grasped the door handle with two fingers. He needed to be as quiet as possible about this as possible… the Doctor didn’t even know he existed yet…

The sound of it unlocking and the sudden beeping was as loud and sudden as a gunshot. The Doctor whipped around, surprised at the noise, and looked Mark dead in the eyes. In that instant, Mark knew there was no escape for him.

He sent a pleading look to the Doctor He wasn’t supposed to be here! He was supposed to be on a bus heading home! Tears began to roll down his face. Please…

The Doctor only scowled, pulled the mask on again and held the spray can up to Mark’s face.

A long hallway filled with pipes and dim lights… He was being rolled somewhere…The squeak of metal on metal…

Where was he?

Something soft and warm…

He opened his eyes a crack and saw Ethan and Felix huddled together on a single cot, breathing rapidly and looking absolutely terrified beyond words.

When Felix saw him awake, he tapped Ethan’s arm quickly.

Neither of them said anything as Mark sat up, his stomach sore from sleeping on it for however long he was out. In front of him was a large metal door surrounded by polished dark wood. The metal was rusty but smoothed down so there was no chance of a hand-hold; same with the wood.

“We woke up in here,” Felix said as Mark turned to look at the small, pure bathroom. A toilet, a shower, an oval mirror and a sink. Everything inside was blinding white except a single yellow tulip sitting in a glass on the sink.

He pushed himself up and took deep breath.

“What the fuck is going on? What are we doing here? Mark, do you know what happened to my mom?”

“Shh. He’s out there,” Ethan whispered.

“Do you know what happened to my mom?” Felix repeated desperately.

A door closed loudly outside of the one they were looking at. They all began to breathe heavily, at the sound, keeping their eyes fixed on the door. Lights began to turn on as the door handle turned and the door itself was opened by the same man in a white lab coat. He was carrying fold-up wooden chair and didn’t say a word as unfolded the chair, keeping his annoyed expression focused on the three.

Before he sat down, he pulled out the same yellow rag and wiped the seat clean of any and all dirt, folded it up into a neat little square and put it into his pocket. He folded his arms and stared at them. He glanced over at Ethan, who was obviously the most uncomfortable, rubbing his thumb rapidly on his thigh.

The Doctor stood, pointing at Ethan.

“I choose you first,” he said in a heavy German accent. He folded up the chair with a snap and brought it into the back room. In the short amount of time he was given, Mark examined the room. Dirty cement walls, a large clothing rack… and not much else from where he was sitting.

The Doctor returned just as Felix was beginning to comfort Ethan again. He walked to Ethan deliberately.

“Zis vill only be a minute,” he said, grabbing Ethan and ripping him from Felix. Both yelled in agitation, but Felix was at least smart enough not to try and take Ethan back, falling back to screaming into his hands from the cot. Ethan managed to pry himself from the Doctor’s grip long enough to run to Mark.

Mark took his face in his hands and muttered, “Pee on yourself,” just before the man got ahold of Ethan again and forcefully carried Ethan out the door. Ethan tried in vain to grab the door itself, but received a sharp slap in retaliation. His screams still echoed in the small room even after the door was closed. They could hear him whimpering, pleading for the Doctor not to do… something.

Felix ran to the door and began to pound desperately, screaming for the Doctor to release his friend. “No! No! Open the door!”

The Doctor suddenly heeded his cries, throwing the door open and carrying in Ethan. He set him down between the two cots and growled angrily, shaking his wrists in attempt to get something off of his hands. He leaned against the door and yelled between his teeth, almost pained by whatever was on his hands. With one last, growl, he slammed the door shut, leaving a sobbing, urine-covered Ethan, being comforted by Felix.

“He wanted me to dance… the outside door is locked,” Ethan muttered, stumbling quietly to the bathroom.

Felix let him go, understanding the need to shower off everything that had just happened, physically and metaphorically. He took a shaky breath. “We’re okay… we’re okay…”

He went into the bathroom to help Ethan, leaving Mark on the cot, breathing just as shakily, tears slowly forcing their way out of his eyes. This couldn’t be happening… it couldn’t…

Uh... yeah! 

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Taglist: @nightmarejasmine

[midoriko-sama]

What did Hiccup do to be the Badass Chief™? I'm guessing some Cattongue stuff again

…

So basically the answer to this question is the first half of Niflheim’s plot. Buckle up, sonny. Here we go.

Hiccup and Astrid have a few very happy years. They have one daughter, Frida, and Aetta is practically theirs. Then Aetta is eight and Frida is three, Astrid is pregnant with their second (third) child in her eighth month (round about; I’m not sure I’m no @e–wills​ guys). And shit hits everywhere.

The heirs of all the tribes except Loki (Tuff and Cami’s son) and Frida who are only three are on one of Gobber’s islands.They are having an overnight stay without dragons to learn wilderness survival. Phlegma is with them, and Astrid goes for her very last flight to visit Aetta.

Frida and Loki are the only ones spared the ordeal. But Aetta is there and Thug’s son Jarl, as is Spit. And all the first children from all the tribes being taught.

The Orcfang tribe (or Skullcrushers - I am unsure on the name) swoop in, on information one knows not whose (Hint: It’s Drago), and capture them all.They intend to sell them all off to slavery. Including a very pregnant Astrid.

Unfortunately for them. The minute they approach the cage, she slaughters every single guard. In front of the children.With her bare hands.

The leaders of the tribe are so entertained that they make a sport of it.She can keep herself and he children unsold and herself unraped of she keeps winning.If she loses even one bought, she will be raped her unborn child killed and the children sold. And the older girls, probably, raped. Brutally.

She doesn’t lose. But she suffers greatly. The first time she’s called before the tribe leaders she stakes her claim as a chief wife, and they laugh in her face. They try to kill her there and then and she kills three people before they bring Aetta in and hold her at knife point as they chop Astrid’s hair off for daring to make such a claim.  It is humiliating, and Hiccup loves her hair; the psychological trauma of it all begins as they methodically divest her of her dignity.

She’s even more savage after that. She kills many, many people and suffers many injuries.  She loses the pinky and ring finger on her ring hand to an axe blow in one fight. And she almost gives up. Because now she can’t even wear her wedding ring again.She doesn’t because of the children, and because of the baby still hanging on inside her.

Through all this she doesn’t stop hoping for Hiccup. Hiccup meanwhile was alerted to the happening when Stormfly limped back to Berk. Rushed to the island, found the signs of battle and the disaster, rallied the other chiefs. And he says this one phrase that is just so metal. He’s panicked and furious and terrified and Frida is asking for mummy. And everyone in the great hall on Berk is yelling. And he says something on the lines of ’a slave takes his revenge right away. A fool never takes his revenge.’

And the thing is, these fuckers have no idea what they’re up against, because Drago is using them to test the strength of the archipelago. He sent the Orcfangs/Skullcrushers to kick the metaphorical hornet’s nest to let someone else see how bad it stings. This tribe are slave traders from a small island near Norway. They don’t know and don’t care about foreign tribes, and Drago slipped them the information. Told them that easy targets would be on that island. He wants to kill the heirs, the future of the tribes, and de-stabilise them, and check the strength of their response in one fell swoop.

Unfortunately for the Orcfangs/Skullcrushers (oh, you guys name them. Pick one of the two names), they are about to find out you don’t fuck with Hiccup Haddock.

Remember how he killed the Berserkers? That pales in comparison. Astrid is in captivity for six weeks. Between her closeness and the stress she goes into labour. Lucky for the baby, the child took after Stoick. Not so lucky for Astrid, they care enough about their prize fighter to get her on her feet again, and not about her future. Astrid will later find she cannot have children again (sort of, she does have another one, but he’s a surprise accident - Hiccup Haddock IV). In any case, the birthday of the chief’s eldest daughter is approaching. Ships with goods land on their island, and entertainers. One of them is a street flute player with one leg.

That is Hiccup, yes, scoping the situation. And he finds out where everyone is being held.The night before he just sits for a few moments with Thug, crying with happiness that he has a son and his wife is alive. All their children are alive. What he doesn’t know is that the chief plans to take Dunkr and give him to the his daughter as a gift, a plaything of sorts.

Astrid goes back to her cell after another battle to find Aetta bloodied, Gustav and Thug’s son also hurt. And Dunkr gone. 

And Hiccup is leading this operation and already his mercy was at an all time low. Astrid breaks out of the prison cell before she can be rescued, intending to find her son and kill them all. Her husbands already on it.

As Hiccup’s commander of the joint  allied tribes, not even Thug can dissuade him from giving the order.

They take the village first. The chief and leaders of the tribe live in a fancy moated castle. And they make it easy for the allies, because they don’t even realise that anything is wrong and that they’re being invaded on silent, deadly reptiles. And Hiccup orders everyone killed; man, woman and child. No prisoners. No mercy.

When they break into the cell and find Aetta with her hands broken and her nose bruised her teeth kicked out, Jarl bloodied and Gustav injured and they tell them they took Dunkr and Astrid went after them…

Yeah. Once they see that, it’s over. It’s done.Everyone is ordered dead. The people in the village are still civilians… but they’re all killed. Not one left.

They first round up the people in the village with stealth. Kill all the soldiers first. Then sneak into the cottages and kill the sleeping people. Hiccup kills all the babies in the cradles himself.

Astrid hears the commotion and assumes they found out she escaped. She hides in a barn but Hiccup sees her and pursues.The barn is dark. And Astrid is thin, her hair shaved. He doesn’t recognise her.

Only just avoids killing his wife. He sees the frost bite scar on her ear from her time  at the shrine in Winter. And once she realises it’s him she’s hysterical. She doesn’t want him to come close and see her. But she wants to hold him so badly. And she wants to find her SON, they took her son…He manages to calm her, takes her out. The others have meanwhile rounded off all the remaining men. They strip the men of their guard uniforms and half their force walk Hiccup and the other chiefs at spear point to the castle.

Astrid is standing there beside him, tall and proud and furious.They burst into the hall on the birthday feast and the chief is all ‘wtf is going on!’ At which point one of the ‘guards’ informs them that they ‘captured these invaders’ And then Hiccup introduces himself and demands they give him his son. And his daughter. And the sons and daughters of six fucking other tribes.The chief pisses himself because he’s heard of Hiccup and the Battle of the Berserkers at least.

Hiccup says he’ll go if they give him Dunkr. Once they do, he goes oops. I fucking lied.

A signal goes up. Snotlout comes in with the joint dragon riders and break in through the windows. The ’ guards ’ kill the others and Hiccup participates in the slaughter. Astrid can only hold her baby and cry at this point. Though she does kill one of the soldiers personally. He’s the one who tries to rape her most often. Head of the guards, and arrogant prick who always thought he’d have first pick with her. Astrid is still very beautiful, even after two kids and horrid mistreatement.

They kill everyone except the chief. Him they drag back to Hopeless, the Meathead island, for torture/information. Jarl had half his ear cut off defending Aetta (there is a crush triangle going on there between the kids, sorta. Aetta has a crush on Gustav but she’s a little girl to him [he’s 14 about], and Jarl has a massive crush on her. Jarl is Thug’s son… He wins out in the end). We only saw the nice side of the Meatheads because they are on our side. They are not a forgiving tribe.

Hiccup’s last order is for Snotlout to stay behind with a group of dragon riders and make sure that anyone from the tribe who was off fishing or journeying or escaped into the woods, and returns to the island or village, is also killed. The tribe is essentially wiped off the face of the earth, and rune rocks are left at every port and landing mark, a well as at the village and castle, telling what happened on the island. It basically tells anyone who lands there ‘This tribe committed horrid kidnapping and attempted murder of the heirs of the Barbaric Archipelago. They pissed Hiccup Haddock off, as well as the allied chiefs. Now they all be dead. Ye be warned.’

That is why people in the Barbaric Archipelago Do Not Piss Off Hiccup Haddock.

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