#metal! minus austin

[roachyboi]

Fanfic idea for Generation Loss!

This takes place after episode three after an undisclosed amount of time. The setting is a stage that has two seats with a table in-between them. The table has a vase of red roses but their covered and dripping with slime, slime is also all around the stage and staining the chairs. A cup filled with slime is on the table and the other cup will always be empty other then a spider that has taken up residence in the cup. The background of the stage is a big window that only shows the slime dimension.

(Trigger warning for slight gore at the end!)

The host of the “after show” is Slime Demon Charlie and he interviews everyone about their time on the show, like an actual show host would. It’s kind of like how in Big Brother they show clips of stuff that happened and talk about it. It’s basically that.

He will never get up to shake their hand because he’ll get stuck to their hands and also he’s stuck to the chair.

Every single character gets their own time to talk to Demon Charlie, and I mean everyone (minus the SnowFall employees). The rats, Frank, Hetch, the Puzzler and even Charlie’s goons get their small moment to shine and be able to answer questions. I imagine that the rats and goons would share an interview as Valkyrie was the only person that actually spoke.

The interviews go well but the viewers never see the characters walk out to the stage and take a seat, in fact they move so little. Every time an interview ends it cuts to an obscure commercial for something that doesn’t exist or is just weird and useless. But other then that the interviews go seemingly well. The characters try not to be out off by Charlie’s slime and just smile and nod at his smile jokes to keep him happy. They talk about the show, things they did and life in general. Very casual for people who were just tortured, but there’s always something wrong with it.

Austin keeps insisting he has a wife and kids, Niki keeps insisting that she’s nice, Sneeg is kind of a dick and gets asked about the suspected relationship between him and Frank, Ethan talks about his fish a lot, The Puzzler talks about how disappointed he is that he couldn’t party with the four who dressed up, Vinny asks if Charlie has ever lost a sock that he may have, and Hetch talks about how he’s glad his acting was convincing enough to trick Ranboo into trusting him.

Frank’s interview is very quiet and Charlie seems to be hearing the best gossip from him. There’s even a moment where Charlie gets to interview his other personalities but it’s through an obviously pre-recorded screen as they keep talking over each other and sometimes the answers don’t match the questions.

The very last person that comes on the stage is (surprise!) Ranboo. Just like everyone else he is very relaxed and apathetic, just joking around and seemingly looking fondly back at the memories, making a comment that they wished they had dressed up a little more when they all had mistaken one of the puzzles as a dress up puzzle.

And then something glitches, the company’s filter gets lifted for a few seconds and it’s revealed that the entire time Charlie has just been a bloody rag, all the alike around the room is blood. The slime dimension window was actually a false window and behind it there was a lot of blood stains and bloodied tools.

The worst part of it all is that Ranboo is a corpse. It’s his corpse with the box still on his head and everything, covered in dried blood and it’s obvious that the body has been left to lay out for a few days.

It’s revealed the entire time, using the filter, everyone’s corpses have been limp on the couch during their ‘interviews’ being held up and positioned by metal rods stabbed through their limbs. Everything was fake. They’re being useful for the last time to squeeze a little more content out of them.

[emo-metalhead-punki]

Metal! Austin as Minus C.M

I draw this last week and I wanna finish it

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 36 (SPOILERS)

"Sherman Yang's chariot, which was still circling the statue's legs in a vain attempt to electrocute its kneecaps." Is this the same flying chariot that the Apollo and Ares cabins were bickering over during The Last Olympian and that the Lost Hero trio were picked up by at the start of Heroes of Olympus? I have a headcanon that the Ares cabin felt bad about their lack of participation after the Second Titanomachy and gave it back to the Apollo cabin and that's why it's stated as belonging to the Apollo cabin in The Lost Hero. Now with Sherman using what I assume is the same chariot 'cause there's no way the camp has multiple flying chariots laying around, that means they share it sometimes! Awww I love this background storytelling.

"Hades used to love sneaking up on me that way and yelling, 'HI!' just as I shot an arrow of death." The way Apollo knows Hades is very, very different to the characterization of Hades we're familiar with. To Apollo, he sounds like the weird uncle who shows up every winter solstice and encourages the kids to participate in dangerous activities that their parents would never let them do.

"A plague arrow" That thing is a giant metal statue. It does not have organs, nor an immune system, nor any flesh whatsoever. A plague arrow is possibly the least effective weapon that could possibly be used against it other than maybe a feather on a stick. "disease to kill the Colossus's animating power" Mmm still dubious but okay.

"And... if you fail?" "I won't have the strength to try twice. You'll have to . . . Find an arrow, try to summon some sickness, make the shot" Y'ALL CONNED ME. We've all been going "give Will plague powers" WHEN IT'S IMPLIED THAT ALL CHILDREN OF APOLLO NATURALLY HAVE HAD PLAGUE POWERS ALL ALONG. Or at least it's common enough that Apollo has faith Kayla and Austin can pull it off if he fails! So all, most, or some children of Apollo can conjure up sickness, but they either don't know or simply choose not to. Maybe Will stands a chance in Tartarus after all. After all, Annabeth made it through and all she had was superpowered weaving and the ability to bruise any immortal deity's ego.

"Sherman Yang's chariot, minus Sherman Yang." Uhh, Canoe Duo, what did you do? Tell me Sherman Yang isn't dead. All y'all had to do was tell him you have a plan and you need to borrow the chariot. "Nico convinced them to disembark." You threw them off the chariot when it was dozens of feet in the sky because talking would have taken too long? Will, you're the medic! You know you're gonna have to get them fixed up and yet you deliberately cause them bodily harm!

"after that shadow travel, Nico is going to pass out any second." "'No, I'm not,' Nico complained, then passed out." First of all, funny. Second of all, Nico got seriously nerfed. There's no way he's still recovering from fading halfway out of existence. Even with the inconsistency of demigods' powers throughout this series, Nico could open a passage to Asphodel and drag someone (Bryce Lawrence) into it without even touching them. Now he tries shadow traveling within seeing distance and passes out. Yeah, he took Will with him, but that should be easy as pie after taking three people and a forty foot tall statue overseas. And it was within seeing distance. How's he gonna survive Tartarus again, let alone save one or more people from down there? With this new revelation, I seriously have more faith in Will making it through than Nico.

"Another time, in a Stockholm tavern, I met this god who was smoking hot, except his talking sword just would not shut up." My friend tells me this is Magnus Chase reference. I think. Or it might've been Kane Chronicles. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure they said Magnus Chase. Neither of us have read either of those series.

"The arrow quivered." Do not apologize for that pun. Lol. Apollogize

"PRITHEE, SHOOTING IS NOT MY PURPOSE." PRITHEE (exclamation): please (used to convey a polite request)

"'FORSOOTH,' said the arrow." FORSOOTH (adv.): indeed (often used ironically or to express surprise or indignation)

Why does this arrow talk so loudly. Such a small thing, yet such large bellows.

"In a flash of silver light, the camp's magical barriers collapsed." Fuck.

"'You can't hear this arrow talking?' Judging from her wide eyes, I guessed the answer was, No, and does hallucinating run in the family?" This made me laugh. She really must've thought he'd gone mad. Too much time in the Grove of Dodona and whatnot.

"'I'm fine!' Kayla yelped . . . splattering drops of red all over the chariot's floor." This just about sums up the demigods' attitude toward injury.

"Only one of the missiles was unbroken, and its shaft was warped." But he's gonna make the shot anyway, 'cause he's awesome. Odd how he keeps calling them missiles, though. It never occurred to me that the word for missiles might have existed long before the missiles we know today were invented.

"STARTEST THOU: PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY." That friend I was talking about earlier: This was the line that took her out. THIS line. Can you believe...? Of all the jokes.

"My plan would take much too long, if I could even remember how to make a plague arrow. This was my punishment for breaking an oath on the River Styx." How does he know? Does he just... know? This is for using the whole anthill as a giant instrument and shooting arrows at the ants, right? So we know the geyser oath to save Meg doesn't supersede the oath on the Styx against using arrows or instrumental music and this is the punishment for it. I don't like how the Styx oath is just an excuse to do certain plot points. This plan not working could easily just be blamed on Apollo's faulty memory or human error (which is possible now that Apollo is human and really even if he weren't). Anyway, I wonder if he's ever gonna break a Styx oath and then, like it was said that Styx oaths could take a lifetime to wear you down and ruin you, the punishment doesn't take effect so soon after and he lives in fear of that coming back to bite him.

"Hey, Bronze Butt!" Classic weak Percy insult. "Over the Colossus's head" Shadow travel can't make new shadows. The volcano thing was a one-time incident and that was because the mountain gods working for Gaea interfered. Unless hellhounds have more advanced shadow travel than Underworld demigods.

"The weekend was here." I like that introduction for Percy. He's like "I got time on the weekend. Might drop by." And then the weekend comes and he shows up for this epic battle instead of relaxing weekend-related activities. Story of his life.

This post was way longer than it ought'a have been. I've written an essay. Not sorry.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Post Malone - Austin Let's be frank -- there's not much to say about Post Malone's new album, Austin (named for, well, his birth name). That's not to say this album is bad, or that there isn't anything to say at all, but at its core, Austin is a very straightforward pop record. What's interesting, however, is watching and listening to Post Malone's progression throughout his career. He started off as a "rapper" in the mid-2010s with 2016 debut Stoney, and really continued that trend with 2018's Beerbongs & Bentleys, but by 2019's Hollywood's Bleeding, he incorporated more alternative and rock sounds to his overall sound. Twelve Carat Toothache from last year really amplified that, being more of a diverse-sounding album, ultimately being a huge mess and not very interesting, but that's neither here nor there. Post Malone has always been obvious for his love of rock and metal music, but he didn't incorporate those influences into his sound, at least until now, so it's interesting to hear some of that. This isn't a rock album, by any means, but there is a lot of acoustic guitar that's featured on Austin, for better or worse. I've got mixed feelings on Austin, and that's really where my thoughts lie, because this album is 52 minutes with seventeen songs, and it does not need to be that long. This album has way more filler than it has any right to have, and I noticed listening through it again at the time of writing this that the first half of the album is quite strong, ultimately featuring some of his best hooks, but the second half is generic, middling, and uninteresting, minus a few highlights. If you like the lead singles, such as "Chemical" and "Mourning," you'll like a majority of this record, which is breezy and summery 80s-influenced pop with folk-pop undertones, but it's more so a case of when it works, it really works, and when it doesn't, it's really boring and uninspired. If this album were around 11 or 12 songs, and only about 35 to 40 minutes, this would be a fantastic record. Nothing special, per se, but a fun record, nonetheless. As it stands, though, Austin is way too bloated and full of a lot of filler. I wish I liked this more as a whole than I did, and the songs that are good are truly good, but Post Malone needs to learn about editing and scaling back. This album features the problem of having too many songs, let alone not enough to justify its length. I don't usually like really long albums and it's for this reason. You almost have to edit the album, per se, to make your own tracklisting of your favorite songs. That's what I did, and the album is only 36 minutes, which makes for a much shorter and better listen, because you cut through the fat and get to the best parts of it. When the album is on fire, it's truly good. The hooks are very enjoyable, the melodies are sticky, and Post Malone's voice sounds fantastic, but a lot of it is very boring, generic, and uninteresting, because it all sounds lesser versions of stuff already on the record. It's a very different sounding album for him, however, and I have to give him credit for that. Fans might be split on this one, especially if you prefer his first two albums, but if you want a more relaxed and blatantly pop-influenced Post Malone, you'll have a good time with this, just sift through the filler and focus on the best songs.

[austinfence]

Fence Staining Austin

Installing a fence around your home adds to the security of your home. It keeps tress passers or prying neighbors at bay and prevents your toddler or pets from wandering off! Fences beautify and demarcate your private home and backyard from the remainder of the neighborhood. There are a number of fencing choices obtainable, however you must choose carefully contemplating your property and the explanations behind putting in a fence. So we want to clarify how to choose the best fence on your house primarily based on completely different factors.

If you are installing a fence for privacy reasons, you want a tall fence with no or little house between the boards. Wood or vinyl fences swimsuit the purpose. Wooden is the evergreen selection of house owners, whereas vinyl is a upkeep-free alternative. Lately you too can get customizations on these fences like carved panels, glass marble inserts, etc. It’s an amazing concept to have such a fence in your backyard, so you possibly can sit and calm down there or play with your youngsters Commercial Fence Austin in complete privacy. It might not go well with the entrance of your home as it might completely block the view.

If you reside within the countryside or the suburbs, a picket fence would add appeal to your garden. These are brief, open fences which can be put in for aesthetic reasons. They don’t go well with all architectural styles or places, so be sure that they complement your home earlier than you spend your bucks. Wrought iron or steel fences are nice for security. If you personal a spot where security is a main concern, you possibly can install an iron or metal fence of acceptable sizes. And if you're fearful about the aesthetics, let us assure you that despite the strength and safety they provide, these fences look elegant and beautiful.

Chain link fence is great for securing commercial areas, playgrounds, swimming swimming pools, etc. It's also well-liked for residential purposes- if you happen to don’t wish to block the solar on your backyard, go for a chain-link fence. The sort of fence can brave the elements of nature, and they are easy to wash and maintain. And if you need a colored fence instead of the usual silver-grey one, you'll be able to choose a PVC coated one.

It’s advisable to rent the companies of an experienced workforce for fence installation, as the workmanship could have a direct influence on the durability of your fence. Always put money into high-quality fencing materials as your fence endures rain, snow, solar, and wind around the year. And do spend some time on its cleanliness and upkeep to keep it harm-free and beautiful.

A vinyl fence provides your property a contact of elegance. It doesn’t rot, crack or fade with time- all you need to do is slightly rinsing for protecting it spic and span. It appears to be like just like a wood fence, minus the maintenance involved. Though you pay extra when for a vinyl fence set up, you end up saving cash in the long term as they hardly name for any restore, repainting, or replacement. The only disadvantage is if it does endure any injury, you gained’t be capable of replace the broken portion without any skilled help.

If safety is your top precedence, steel fencing is a good option for you. Metal is a very arduous material, and a trespasser can not damage it using brute force. Metal fences are coated with zinc and galvanized, which protects it from corrosion. Installing a steel fence is expensive, but the upkeep price is kind of low. Hence, a sturdy and protecting steel fence is worth your money.

Aluminum fence is a durable fence that is low-upkeep as well as versatile. It is a see-by means of fence, so it provides much less privacy. If you wish to erect a decorative fence around your house, aluminum is the suitable materials for it. Aluminum is available in different grades. You may choose amongst a range of colors, or have the fence customized. If you would like extra security, you'll be able to go for a heavier grade of aluminum. Aluminum fencing can be appropriate for troublesome terrains like hills and slopes, as they can be adjusted to fit the terrain.

Chain link fences are great for places like playgrounds, farm businesses, etc. Since wind and snow can cross by it, the fence can easily battle the vagaries of nature. Furthermore, chain links are made of steel, which is a extremely durable alloy. Chain hyperlinks require little upkeep; just preserve the crops round it trimmed or you would possibly find vines rising by it. There may be one drawback of a series-link fence- it’s climbable. So install it solely at locations where safety will not be a significant concern.

Wood is the evergreen fence material. A picket fence has a traditional look, and you get to choose from different heights and materials. The upfront cost of installation is sort of low, and the fence suits quite a lot of properties and locales. While the lifespan of a wooden fence is often ten years, you'll be able to easily add more years to it with proper care and maintenance. A wood fence can last for decades with sealant application. You should also hold an eye for any insect damage or rotting. In the event you nip the issue within the bud, your fence will dwell a long life. These are the various kinds of sturdy fences. You may select one in accordance with your needs, price range, and property exteriors.

[lucky3gskittyzine]

the designs are made by @emo-metalhead-punki

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Major Updates to My Weird Idea (that includes my Nightside OCs)

Go check my previous post on this - HERE

This is mainly an update for @schizoauthoress , @the--blackdahlia , @spacelizardtrashboys , @enigmaticandunstable and @piratewithvigor and I personally think @nattinngrst might like this.

I went on a trip to the beach yesterday with my parents and my older brother (who I bored and annoyed with this idea and you'll see some of his influence in this here post)

Anything written in italics is meant to be taken as a joke as you read through this wall of text, sending good vibes as always, hope y'all are doing well.

The show is set in Canadian, Texas (real place: Wikipedia). I'm thinking of this show starting in the mid-to-late 90s (1996/1997).

I've managed to do several things with that weird sitcom idea, so, where to start, how about with the three potential titles:

1 - Neighbourhood Watch

2 - First Call

3 - First Round (Which my brother likes)

Here are some options for bar names, starting with the Cop bar:

1 - The Donut Hole

2 - The Roasted Hog (which my big bro suggested)

3 - The Sherriff's Outpost

And the Biker Bar:

1 - The Handlebar Inn

2 - The Steel Horse Saloon

3 - The Rebel Room

Next on the list of updates: Cast additions, character roles and (Finally after 2 days) Names for Everyone!!

I'll start with the Cop Bar's owner & staff:

Rosalina Asturias 'Rosa' (Played by Billie Martinez) an employee of the local cop bar. Didn't grow up in the town, moved here for work.

Violet Croft (Played by Eli Herne) an employee. Grew up in town, never left, has the hots for one of the guys in the local police.

Sunshine Crawford 'Sunny' (Played by Holly Di Antonio) an employee. Grew up in town, left for college and came back.

Roscoe Power 'Ross' (Played by Jimmy Hart) the loudmouth who owns the bar, grew up in town, used to be a car salesman.

Olesya Pavlovsky 'Olivia' (Played by Penelope Voronin) an employee who grew up in town and has immigrant parents, goes by 'Olivia' because she would rather you don't f*** up her actual name.

Winona Vance (Played by Sam Griffin Silver) an employee who moved here from New York, for unknown reasons, and doesn't really understand the small town, everyone knows everyone lifestyle.

Lavender Whittemore (Played by Victoria Lucifarian) an employee who grew up in England but moved to live in America, settled in Canadian, Texas due to her love of westerns.

Next: The Local Police Squad:

Sergeant Valentine Gautier 'Val' (Played by Bret Hart) recently promoted before the series begins but still on patrol duty, watches over his younger brother.

Corporal Buck Morris 'Buckshot' (Played by Davey Boy Smith) the gun loving corporal of the squad and the only one to have both 'work' and 'home' guns.

Captain Napoleon Cooper 'Crazy Cooper' / 'Captain Crazy' (Played by Jim Neidhart) the police captain, recently reassigned to Canadian, Texas as there were rumours abut him which interfered with his work in his previous location.

Officer Duke Gautier (Played by Owen Hart) the young, recently recruited brother of Sgt Gautier, often put on patrol alone to ensure less arguments, but always checked on by his brother.

Next: The Biker Bar's Staff:

Ozzy Rains (Played by Charles Wright) A biker and member of the staff who grew up just outside of town but loves his fellow staff members like family.

Brock Martel (Played by Henry Godwin) a biker and member of the staff who grew up on a local ranch and loves beer, football and the current Mayor's down-to-Earth style.

Vincent Gore 'Vinnie' (Played by Kane) the owner's son and a known fire loving 'freak' often protected by his surrogate family, the bar staff, Vinnie knows no better than 'ooh, cool looking fire' and must be restrained or have his hands swatted away to stop him burning himself trying to touch campfires.

Raven Knight (Played by Kirby Roussimoff) the only female staff member, but also the girl who does all the tough jobs when needed, has a side business of making and selling artwork, such as portraits to locals, has designed some of the bar staff's tattoos.

Harlow Gore (Played by Paul Bearer) the owner of the bar and a loving father to his son, took Murphy (Undertaker) under his wing when they first met and also treats him, and the rest of staff, like family.

Hunter King (Played by Phineas Godwin) Brock's cousin and a member of staff, taught Raven how to shoot a shotgun and his father owns a local tattoo parlour.

Sequoia Reed (Played by Rikishi) an employee and Frankie's (Yokozuna) cousin, also a surrogate cousin to Raven, having been best friends since childhood. Reed loves his job and his staff family and will defend both at any cost.

Lupe Zapatero (Played by Savio Vega) an employee at the bar and possibly the shortest member of staff, towered over by the tallest staff members but is not any less of a fighter because of his size, a former mechanic who loves nothing more than taking things apart and putting them back together while listening to metal / rock.

Murphy Graves (Played By The Undertaker) Manager of the biker bar and an excellent member of staff, has an outlaw rules vibe, as in he would say to the police "Your jurisdiction ends when you walk in my bar." Very protective of the staff, and the owner.

Frankie Wolf (Played by Yokozuna) the most relaxed and laid-back of the staff, Frankie would prefer to be in the kitchen making potential 'Culinary Masterpieces' as he would call them. Sequoia and Raven's (surrogate) cousin, views his staff mates as family.

Next: The Local Band (Named: Exoskeleton Samurai)/College Students

Quinn Thorn (Played by Jeff Hardy) the bassist to Ros' (Lita) vocals / lead Guitar and older brother Garth's (Matt) Drums, a face paint enthusiast and an English major in college who never seems to find time to study, but always has time to date somehow.

Roz Jerome (Played by Lita) the vocals and lead guitar for the band and an art major who actually studies, dating Garth (Matt) and met Quinn through him. Roz also studies Spanish and French.

Garth Thorn (Played by Matt Hardy) Quinn's older brother and the band's drummer, a major in psychology and a horror movie lover, Roz' boyfriend and almost totally devoted to her, even at the cost of his college work.

Next: The Local Townsfolk of Note:

Mayor Robert Sweet (Played by Jim Duggan) rarely seen, but apparently a good man with good ideas, helps out in volunteer projects and absolutely loves the town. Trying his hardest and people know this, and they love him. (did I meme correctly?)

Rusty Jarvis (Played by Mick Foley) the local hippie who has never left town, somehow managing to know both everything and nothing at the same town. (Very Dude Love with hints of Cactus Jack and Mankind) Does know how to fight when he needs to.

Redd Wayne (Played by 'Sycho' Sid Vicious/Justice) the local baseball/softball star, helps out at the local school/college teaching sports and likes Raven's artwork, he watches her draw when he can, runs the local little league & minor league baseball/softball games.

Earl Black (Played by Steve Austin) the most often seen regular at the biker bar, absolutely loves both the bar and the town, a hardworking guy who has befriended the entire staff (including Harlow and Vinnie) of the biker bar.

Lex Aston (Played by The Rock) a local struggling actor, teaching an acting class to pay the bills and an absolute ladies man, and for that reason he goes to the cop bar, to try and pick up one of the bartenders who works there, often favouring Rosa as she will jokingly flirt back.

Finally (for this section): The Degenerates and Their Benefactors:

Reign Yates (Played by Billy Gunn) Leon's (Road Dogg) best friend, often the getaway driver for the group and a scout for locations, often getting all the info on a place before telling Matty (H.H.H) and Dell (HBK). Often leaves town with Leon to get the heat off them. (and make out in secret)

Zelda Hooper (Played by Chyna) the only female degenerate but possibly the toughest, has a rap sheet as big as her arms, not to be trusted when around the other degenerates as she is usually the actual brains of the operation.

Matty Battle (Played by Hunter Hearst Helmsley) the co-leader of the degenerates, often protected by Zelda or Mark (Kevin Nash). does most of the talking but has the piss taken of him for his looks often by either other degenerates or locals who don't care for the degenerates.

Romeo Colombera (Played by Mike Rotundo/I.R.S) the right hand man of the mysterious benefactor, and often the lawyer for the degenerates as well as a taskmaster for them, telling them what the boss wants done and by what date.

Mark Rake (Played by Kevin Nash/Diesel) the tallest degenerate with a rap sheet as long as his leg, a former bouncer at a now closed nightclub, alongside best friend (and possibly boyfriend) Galo (Scott Hall) and now a bodyguard (when needed) for Matty and Dell (HBK, also boyfriends).

Leon Rose (Played by Road Dogg) best friend of Reign and a scout for the group alongside him. Has found every possible way to piss off other townsfolk and often in the most fights because of it, always on the police's radar for one thing or another and constantly leaving town because of it.

Galo Villalobos (Played by Scott Hall/Razor Ramon) the only (supposedly) Latino degenerate, raised in Canadian, Texas but his parents are from Cuba, Galo is a former nightclub bouncer (alongside Mark) Galo is known (for his ability to give minus fucks) as the most relaxed member of the group.

Dell Pain (Played by Shawn Michaels/HBK) the co-leader alongside Matty, a known flirt with people regardless of gender or sexuality, just to piss them off on some occasions. Dell grew up in town, knowing it like the back of his hand.

Giles Rennell (Played by Ted DiBiase) the mysterious benefactor of the group, bailing them out if needed, he stumbled across the group after seeing a police bulletin and decided to use them to cause enough chaos to guarantee a chance in the next mayoral election.

Zac Noel (Played by X-Pac) the shortest and youngest degenerate, Zac is often treated as the child of the group, being taught how to get away with crimes and trick the police into just letting him go by clerical error and tomfoolery.

Next on my list of updates: Season 1's episode list, episode titles, episode synopses, some spoilers, and the revolving door idea a bit further explained.

Series running order:

Biker bar episode

Cops on Patrol episode

Band/College Students episode

Cop bar episode (yes these are different)

Degenerates episode

(last episode of each season/series only) town meeting/town get-together (E.X: town hall meetings, the town getting together for a sports game or barbeque or restaurant opening)

1x01: Insert Coin to Start: The pilot episode of the series sees the local biker bar of Canadian, Texas installing two, brand new, arcade machines. After leaving for the night, the team finds the bar broken into and both machines missing with no evidence or possible suspects to the robbery. The team finds the machines relatively undamaged in an alleyway nearby. By the end of the episode there's still no suspects. B plot includes an argument between father and son, Harlow and Vincent which ends when Murphy gets involved.

1x02: Hot Pursuit: Newly instated chief of police Chief Cooper [Neidhart] makes changes to the patrol teams before tasking them with looking for any persons involved with (1x01)'s robbery and break-in, leading to a high speed chase later in the episode. B plot includes the squad coming to grips with the new, and much crazier, police chief.

1x03: Making Noise: Local band Exoskeleton Samurai [Team Extreme] are writing new music late at night while Roz [Lita] tries to study for a class the following day but, during a moment of quiet, they hear a break in a couple of doors down and attempt to see who it is. The group get a glimpse of Zac Noel [X-Pac] and Mark Rake [Nash] but not a full glimpse. Now aware of the local degenerates, the band try and forget about it and focus on their own lives until their apartment gets broken into when they're not there.

1x04: Donuts & Beer: The new cop bar opens on the other side of town, serving mainly (both savoury and sweet) bagels and donuts as well as beer (on tap and bottled), the fact it's slightly more risqué gets (both good and bad) attention on the place. Winona Vance [Sam] gets in a fight with Zac Noel [X-Pac] as she's locking up. Winona [Sam] being put in the hospital with a broken arm makes the rest of [Cop Bar]'s staff double down on getting justice for the near break-in.

1x05: Dirty Work: The first episode from the degenerates perspective. The degenerates are just causing general problems for the town without reason because it's fun' but it's quickly losing their interest as the heat on them rises. The end of the episode has Matty Battle [Triple H] receiving a call from 'Mister R' [DiBiase] offering him a deal.

1x06: Blue & Black: A brawl breaks out at [Biker Bar] following whispers that the people who broke in are in the building. The bikers who work at the bar threaten to hurt anyone who works for the rival bar if they try and mess with business while in the biker bar.

1x07: Captain Crazy: A rumour that the current captain was moved location and promoted to smooth over allegations that he may not be fully sane, Officer Duke Gautier [Owen] is determined to find the truth while Sergeant Valentine Gautier [Bret] and Corporal Buck Morris [Davey Boy] are determined to keep the peace and catch the local degenerates.

1x08: Broken Strings: following an argument with an ex girlfriend Quinn Thorn [Jeff] finds his guitar smashed and has to work odd jobs to buy another one (starting a potential series c plot). Garth Thorn [Matt] ends up in a fight with Galo Villalobos [Hall] which ends when Roz Jerome [Lita] smashes a table leg over the back of Galo's [Scott's] head, knocking him out and giving him over to the police.

1x09: Badges & Bottle Tops: Captain Cooper [Neidhart] stops by [cop bar] to talk with owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart]. Meanwhile the Gautier boys [Owen & Bret] interrogate Galo Villalobos [Scott Hall] about what the degenerates are doing and why, getting no information about the mysterious benefactor over than he pays them a lot of money depending on what they do.

1x10: Paid off: The mysterious benefactor 'Mister R' [DiBiase] pays Galo's [Scott's] bail, getting him free for a while but side-lining him too. The benefactor remains hidden in shadow but Matty & Dell [Triple H & HBK] have a meeting with him to discuss money and the next job.

1x11: Written in Ink: the tattooed bikers on the staff encourage regular customer Earl Black [Austin] to get a skull tattoo on his back and even take him with them to the tattoo parlour they frequent, finding it to be burned to the ground with a 'freaks get lost' sign planted in the wreckage. Murphy Graves [Undertaker] dismisses the rumours that the arsonist is the fire fascinated Vincent Gore [Kane] and even gives him an alibi when the cops come looking for answers, putting blame on someone in town who knows about Vinnie's [Kane's] love of fire, which is nearly every person in town.

1x12: Sergeant Heartbreaker: Sergeant Gautier [Bret] is accused of flirting with the staff at [Cop bar] leading to a paid two day leave to get heat off of him while he's ordered to remain at home. Officer Gautier [Owen] and Corporal Morris [Davey Boy] are put on patrol together, leading to a high speed chase of Reign Yates, Leon Rose & Zelda Hooper [Gunn, Road Dogg & Chyna] after witnessing a mugging, assault and graffiti from the trio, the cops eventually lose them down a back road on private Giles Rennell's [DiBiase's] land they would need a warrant for.

1x13: Failing Grade: Quinn's [Jeff's] lack of sleep leads to him getting a fail on an test forcing him to do the semester again. Enraged by this Quinn [Jeff] considers leaving the school but is encouraged to continue following Garth [Matt] ending up in hospital following [1x12]'s assault and mugging on Garth & Roz [Matt & Lita].

1x14: Microphones & Megaphones: [cop bar]'s owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart] installs a stage for local acts in the bar, leading to Violet Croft [Eli] performing later that episode (the closing of the episode into the credits) and the night before the first performance the bar is covered in graffiti, leading to a massive clean up effort from the staff and local volunteers (like Mick Foley & The Rock).

1x15: Trench Warfare: Romeo Colombera [IRS] the benefactor's [DiBiase's] right hand man and go-to lawyer gives the degenerates an list of jobs, run the police chief out of town by the end of the year, run the bikers out of town, and ensure that 'Mister R' [DiBiase] the benefactor wins the next mayoral election.

1x16: Fuelling Up: after closing up [biker bar] Raven Knight [Kirby] narrowly avoids being burned by her motorbike exploding in a ball of fire. Her boss, Harlow Gore [Bearer] tells her to take the week off, leading to her coming into the bar and sitting at the back of the bar, sketching the regular customers and having a long conversation with local sports star Redd Wayne [Sid].

1x17: Brothers in Arms: Together: the Gautier brothers [Bret & Owen] are put on patrol together leading to the arrest of Zelda, Matty & Dell [Chyna, Triple H & HBK] before the trio are bailed out, the brothers interrogate Dell Pain [HBK] (leading to a very 'basic instinct'-esque scene with Shawn in assless chaps and boxer briefs) who gives them no information on their behaviour and why they are doing the things they've done.

1x18: Night Time Fun: the band attends a college party, unknowingly with Zac Noel [X-Pac] also in attendance, leading to the trio being high and drunk and the Thorn brothers [Matt & Jeff] end up in a fight, almost being thrown out of college entirely for their actions the next morning.

1x19: Head or Hart: Violet Croft [Eli] and (officer) Duke Gautier [Owen] meet properly for the first time on a blind date, leading to them walking through the streets of Canadian, Texas at night. The date is quickly ended after Duke [Owen] spots Leon Rose [Road Dogg] spray painting [cop bar] and gives chase after handing Violet [Eli] his number.

1x20: Grunt Work: The degenerates have a group meeting about how to sabotage the town meeting, leading to Rennell [DiBiase] coming out of the shadows to lead the degenerates in a coordinated attack on the town hall. Leading to the degenerates waiting until the town meeting to begin the next day.

1x21: Town Meeting: Mayor Robert Sweet [Duggan] conducts a town meeting, leading to everyone airing their grievances with the degenerates recent spree of activity. At the end of the meeting, paint bombs hidden above the townsfolk go off all at once, covering everyone in bright, almost neon, green paint.

[coolmarriagerecords]

On Chronophage

By Zachary Lipez

https://zacharylipez.substack.com/p/notes-on-the-mekons-chronophage-and

Chronophage are a band from Texas. They have been around for three years. Chronophage consists of Parker Allen (they/them) guitar and vox, Sarah Beames (she/her) bass and vox, and Cody Phifer (he/him) drums. For the new record, Parker’s brother, Casey Allen (he/him) plays synth. That’s all I know about Chronophage. The internet shows no interviews and, besides punk zines I don’t own (and presumably critics on Terminal-Boredom forums), the music press outside of Austin has ignored them. I first heard about the band from MaximumRnR, which listed their debut, Prolog for Tomorrow, released in December of 2018, as one of the best albums of 2019 (you can do stuff like that when you’re a revered punk zine). Because MRR is famously *cough* averse to cover any band that even flirts with problematicism, I don’t have to worry about my ignorance of Chronophage’s individual members potentially allowing me to big up fascists. Maybe it’ll turn out they’re Maoists (an ideology MRR is less worried about) but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when/if we come to it. Anyway, I had never even heard of Chronophage (a small miracle unto itself considering the underground’s ready access to publicists and music writers- such as myself- who love few things more than being the first to “discover” a band.). But, even while my sense of aural adventure is a bit rusty since the days of having to risk $8.99 on albums based solely on cover art and/or vibes in the air, I just knew Prolog for Tomorrow was going to scratch an itch. Maybe not an immediate itch but, when you keep as many itches on file as I do, you can afford to trust your instincts. Especially when those instincts have already been validated by some punk weirdo in Oakland who’s probably still mad at the Go-Go’s for firing Margot Olavarria fifteen years before they were born. My instincts served me well because that hypothetical punk weirdo was right! (About both things.)

I’m not sure how to describe Chronophage. I’m not a major fan of the comparisons, to Swell Maps or the Messthetics comps, that the punks made. I don’t dislike either point of reference but knowing Chronophage supposedly sounds like both doesn’t affect how I hear the band. Prolog for Tomorrow’s inner sleeve art has “Curse of Chronophage” scrawled, which may be a reference to The Curse of The Mekons. Or maybe not. I’m trying not to project my bullshit on the band. Matter of fact, Chronophage don’t sound anything like the honky-tonkin’-Mekons. Not because Chronophage aren’t honkys tonkin’ but because, historically speaking, American bands aren’t as hung up on sounding American as English bands are. The album art for Prolog is reminiscent of much of the (actually) cut and (actually) pasted Pavementisms of the ‘90s, which in turn was lifted directly from The Fall and all that band’s adherents. Like early Pavement and The Fall, Chronophage are full of hooks, some overt and many buried under transient skronk. But, unlike all the obscurist indie Chronophage shares a typewriter with, the basic template on the album, if there’s one at all, is “folk punk.” I suppose? At least the sense of that genre is present, if dependent on an expansive notion of both “folk” and “punk.” Minus any busking grotesqueries in the “Wagon Wheel” vein, there’s the strum and twang of barely distorted guitars, every string visible in the mind’s eye, maybe in need of tuning or maybe just playing those jazz chords I hear so much about at music critic parties. While only three musicians play on Prolog, horns and keys go in and out of the songs like a C Squat marching band showing up to support the potluck. Adding to the offhand spontaneity of the proceedings, there’s intermittent cowpoke yowlings, some very live sounding drums, and at least one poetry reading. There’s a real anarchist house party vibe but just when it feels like Chronophage are going to lose their train of thought or, worse, ask to borrow the touring band’s kick drum pedal, another fragile and plaintive power pop chorus arrives in time to keep me from retreating to the kitchen to bum beer off strangers.

If we’re going to (re)subscribe to my initial thesis that there are certain sounds made by certain bands that provide a messily alluring alternative to the pat and disingenuous cleanliness of overculture, therefore making a prickly honesty worth striving for (even if that striving lends itself to either self delusion or a romanticizing of failure), then Chronophage are what we’re talking about. Even if on their new album, The Pig Kiss’d (out on November 23), they kind of fuck a significant amount of my thesis over by showing that they do, in fact, know what they’re doing. Whatever. I deserve it. The whole mythology around The Mekons as a band finding dignity in the face of drunken ineptitude was a fib. While not having the chops of The Texas Playboys, and certainly often drunk, The Mekons, by the mid-’80s, were writing and performing songs as subtle and dynamic as any non-boring rock and roll, not to mention post-punk, band could aspire to. Because perfection is so oppressive, its absence will always be its own inherent virtue. But even better than not being able to play your instruments is being able to play them real pretty, but throwing some ugly in anyway. Just to show all the aesthetic bible thumpers that heaven isn’t always the hot shit it purports to be.  

The Pig Kiss’d is a sharper, more streamlined, proposition than Chronophages’s first record. The guitars, thankfully still mainly free of any distortion mush, ring out as cohesive riffs. Even while the lite-funk chunka-chunkas still occasionally approximate Desperate Bicycles covering Steely Dan (an under-appreciated subculture band influence… a lot of people don’t know that Big Black’s name was short for “Big Black Cow”), and the snare underpinning gives them a decidedly peace punk punchiness, the riffs now transform into razor-like, no wave leads instead of the decays into noise (or just silence) prevalent on Prolog. While the previous album positioned voices as hesitant souls in conversation, Chronophage’s dual singing is now consistently commanding. Not to say that either Allen or Beames are preoccupied with auditioning for American Idle anytime soon, but they both have cool, heavy-on-personality punk voices, ranging from conversating chill to accusatory growl, which the mix now accentuates. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss the feeling of a sinking ship, barely kept afloat by the bodies of oogles under the hull, but I’m also glad for a recording that doesn’t sound like the studio engineer is holding a personal grudge against the drummer. Of course, in no longer sounding a mess, Chronophage runs the risk of just sounding like, you know, a rock band. Of which there are plenty. Luckily this ain’t the case. The desperate, weird energy of Prolog for Tomorrow is still abundant. It’s just put in the service of songcraft more than ADD-infused mood. If there’s a newfound, almost psych, expansiveness in the songwriting, it’s a psych fueled by strychnine over any slouching towards bliss. And when the songwriting contracts, we get instant classics like the album closer, “Name Story,” which could be an undiscovered New Model Army a-side. So much does “Name Story” sound like a lost hit that I had to write the band and ask if it was a cover. (They responded that the aim was to sound like New Order… which is amazing.) Still, by contemporary indie standards, Chronophage sound like countrified First Wave of Black Metal-ers running through the American songbook. By contemporary post-punk standards, which can be applied now that New Order are on the table, Chronophage don’t sound contemporary at all. They sound out of the timeline; Richard Lloyd skipping post-punk entirely to jump headfirst into college rock, making that nerd rock hip, and vice versa. Lightning striking itself. In the face. Repeatedly. And by folk punk standards, if we’re bothering to still apply it, Chronophage continue to sound like the only true freaks in a field of future beer reps.Like I said, I don’t know much about Chronophage. While writing this, I exchanged emails with Parker but, preferring the mystery, I only asked about pronouns and whatnot. Maybe they’re apolitical. Maybe they are Maoists. Maybe they’re neither but still find my chronic naysaying abhorrent and dull. For all I know, they all campaigned hard for Pete Buttigieg and all the proceeds from The Pig Kiss’d are going towards having Chronophage Brand hostile architecture benches placed near the homeless encampments in Austin. Guess we won’t know for sure till the album comes out. But this feels like opposition music, and, more importantly (to me) it feels like music that speaks to a refusal to simply be grateful for the crumbs handed to us. Nit picking, as it were. If not exactly “dignity in the face of drunken ineptitude” then, in the face of endless war and empire and an oligarchal insistence to smile more, Chronophage make a sound that- equal parts sweet fury and sweaty sweetness and spilling over with a feisty, chaotic grace- approaches dignity. If the next few years are great, then great. We can play Chronophage at the cookout we’re all invited to. And if the next four years are instead a happy faced atrocity exhibition, at best a grinding exercise in defending cops, creeps, and landlords for the sole reason of the other side’s cops and creeps and landlords being so much worse? Then Chronophage’s sound will prove to be the kind of correct that’s too sloppy to be smug. Even under austerity, the anarcho-freak punx got bops. So even as COVID, the ice caps, or capital’s poptimist truncheon bear down on us, threatening to tickles our little chins, let us, at least, enjoy this thing.

https://zacharylipez.substack.com/p/notes-on-the-mekons-chronophage-and

* The cassette version of Th’Pig’Kiss’d Album will be available soon on Cool Marriage. Check this blog for updates. 

[rawiswhore]

Triple H, Shawn Michaels, x Fem Reader- “Hot Tub Sex Machine”

By late 1997, you're an overnight sensation, helping the WWF garner ratings and make headline news, you're just as big of a star as the likes of Stone Cold Steve Austin.

One of the things that helped make you a star was your beauty and sex appeal, especially exploiting it.

Since sex sells and most of the WWF's core audience is horny teenage boys, you in WWF magazine have to pose in slutty, skimpy bathing suits and bikinis, which you don't mind.

However, sometimes you have ideas for your poses and photoshoots in magazines.

One photoshoot you did on the beach was one where you're lying down in the sand and by the surf wearing a metal dress that exposes your rear end as well as basically what's underneath your body, and you have no clothes underneath that dress.

It's the same dress Samantha Fox wore on her "Hurt Me Hurt Me (But the Pants Stay On" single cover.

The dress was uncomfortable to wear, but you can do something about the discomfort and pain it's caused on your body.

After that tedious photoshoot wearing that dress, you're now sitting in a hot tub in a massage therapy room, completely stark naked, not a single stitch of clothes on your body.

You're not alone in that hottub, two very sexy men, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, are in that hot tub too, albeit, they're both wearing swim trunks.

No one else is in this massage therapy room except for the two of you.

Triple H is sitting in the corner of the jacuzzi, you're sitting on his lap, your back touching his chest, and you're sticking one of your legs and feet out, Shawn is right in front of you.

The hot tub was turned on, the jets running the water and bubbles were forming and bubbling all over the tub.

Shawn's busy rubbing and caressing the leg you're sticking out with the warm water the 3 of you are sharing in that hot tub, his hand elevating and running up and down your leg over and over again.

Triple H soaked his hands and fingers in the warm water, where he placed his hands on your shoulders and began massaging them.

It honestly felt a little "hard" in your shoulder area as he massaged your shoulders, but that's to be expected for a shoulder massage.

His hands were warm on your skin, some of the water that was on his hands rubbing your shoulders dripped down your skin, on both your chest and your back.

It honestly felt so good having him massage your shoulders with his warm water drenched hands, orgasmic even, and your body was aching from wearing that uncomfortable dress.

You leaned your head back and somewhat rested it on Triple H's shoulder, your eyes had shut and your mouth was slightly open.

"Ohhhhhhh, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" you moaned, dragging your words out, sounding like you were having sex. "This feels soooooooooooo gooooooooooooooood"

Triple H wasn't even having sex with you, but you were moaning like he was!

Shawn saw you moaning and looking like you were having an orgasm, and he leaned his face closer towards where you were sitting on.

He could see you were naked sitting on Triple H's lap, but Triple H was wearing shorts, so you weren't having sex.

Plus, you were riding and bouncing up and down Triple H's dick, so you weren't having sex.

The tenseness and pain on your body was being taken away thanks to Triple H massaging your shoulders, but they weren't the only body parts he wanted to massage.

He then moved his hands under the water and rose them up from the water, where now his hands were soaking wet and warm.

He then placed those hands on your breasts, his palms covering and shielding your tits, nipples and areolas, giving you a Janet Jackson-esque "hand bra".

He then began massaging, rubbing and caressing your tits with that warm water, soaking your breasts.

Your tits were beginning to get shiny thanks to being under the buzzing lights turned on above you and the water Triple H was caressing on your tits, and Trips can't wait to see that.

His warm water soaked palms brushing your nipples felt so good, like you were having an orgasm and about to climax.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" you moaned, your eyes closed and mouth open.

Triple H could hear you moan, and he decided to spice things a bit up.

"Does that feel good, baby?" he purred in your ear.

"Yesssssssssssss" you whined.

"You have such hot, sexy tits" he purred, his voice warm and husky, like the water you were soaking in.

Shawn, meanwhile, placed your calf he was currently rubbing down, where it rested under the water, and he put his hands behind your other calf and picked it up, lifting it up until a bit of your toes were sticking out of the water.

He began running his hands up and down your calf like he did with your other calf.

His hands rubbed up the sides of your calf as well as the middle, smearing your calf in warm water.

He didn't really caress and rub your thighs for some reason, but I guess because your thighs are already drenched in water.

He also didn't rub your feet, but maybe that can be for another time.

Triple H didn't just caress your tits and whisper sexy things in your ear, he leaned his face into your neck, where he pressed his lips in the crook of your neck, giving little kisses behind your neck and on your shoulders.

His kisses were relieving your aching shoulders and body and felt sooooo good.

Shawn decided to do what Triple H was doing.

"Y'like me rubbing your legs, babydoll?" Shawn purred, albeit his voice was kind of being drowned out by the hottub.

"Hmmmmmmm?" you asked, your neck stretching out so you could hear Shawn better.

Shawn saw your neck stretch out and asking to hear him better.

"I asked, 'Do you like me rubbing your legs, babydoll?'" he asked, not sounding sexy like he did before.

You nodded your head, your head moving up and down quickly to nod a "yes".

Shawn smiled back at you, his smile warming your heart.

It's a shame Shawn has to dip tobacco, because he truly will lose his beautiful and adorable smile.

Even though Shawn can't hear you amongst the running jacuzzi, he will eventually be able to whisper in your ear when he gets a turn to massage your shoulders and tits.

This is a wonderful moment you're experiencing with 2 hot guys, but you wish other hot wrestler guys or even hot guys in general could join you in the hottub.

Billy Gunn (although, he was so much hotter in 1997 when he didn't have that corny mushroom cut, minus when he had that unfitting brown hair), Davey Boy Smith, that cute Rob Van Dam wrestler who had a short stint in the WWF and maybe even Bret Hart too.

But Billy Gunn isn't really all that sexy right now, which is a shame, how cute was he at the end of 1997 with those "South Park" shirts and those rags tied in a bow in his hair, Davey's hot but not hot enough, Rob is in ECW and you're in the WWF (so is Shawn and Triple H for that matter), and Bret is in WCW (he also doesn't like you that much because you're slutty) and Bret is hot but not that hot.

Triple H and Shawn Michaels, though, are the hottest (and hot as in sexy) guys in the WWF right now.

Speaking of Triple H, he didn't just caress your tits in warm water.

He dunked his hands under the water and lifted them out, now drenched in more water.

He ran his hands down your torso, his hands on opposite sides of your torso, where he caressed his palms up and down your torso, washing your body, washing and cleaning the part of your body under your tits.

The warmness of the water was easing the tenseness of your body from wearing that uncomfortable dress and it felt so good, orgasmic even, you could lean your head back it felt so good.

Shawn could see your tits in front of him, shining thanks to the buzzing lights on the ceiling making your breasts shine.

You honestly spent a bit too much time sitting on Triple H, and you told these 2 wrestlers before the two of you got in the hot tub that they were both going to take turns rubbing your legs and massaging your shoulders and tits, which they both loved the idea of.

You told these 2 wrestlers it's time to switch; you've had enough time with sitting on Triple H's lap and Shawn rubbing your leg.

While Triple H was having fun rubbing and caressing your tits and massaging your shoulders, the 3 of you are spending a bit too much time in the hot tub and you want to cut it short pretty soon.

Trips slided off of where he was sitting in the corner of the hot tub, where he walked over towards where Shawn was sitting in the middle of the jacuzzi, his body being devoured and swallowed by the hot tub's water.

Shawn, meanwhile, crept up to where you were sitting on the corner of the hot tub, and once he was next to the corner, he slid smoothly towards you where you were sitting.

He placed both of his hands on both of your hips and lifted you up, where he slid to the corner of the hot tub until his hip nudged the wall of the jacuzzi, where there was a little seat that Triple H sat on for Shawn to sit on, and Shawn indeed sat there.

Him lifting you up surprised and shocked you, your mouth wide open, but at the same time smiling.

Once Shawn was sitting on the seat at the corner of the hot tub, he plopped you on his lap.

Once you plopped on Shawn's lap, you stuck one of your legs out in front of Triple H to rub on.

And now that's over with, let's get it started in here!

Shawn moved his hands from your hips and dunked them down in the water, only to lift his hands up from the water, his hands completely soaked and dripping wet.

He then placed those hands on your shoulders, your shoulders in between his fingers and thumbs, and he began massaging your shoulders.

The water on his hands and fingers dripped down your back and down your chest, some of the water dripping back down into the water.

It felt a little hard as he massaged your shoulders, but that's to be expected.

Triple H, on the other hand, held your leg out with one of his hands, where your leg was sticking up out of the water.

Your leg was dripping wet, some of the water dripping off of your calf dripped back down into the water.

Both of his hands were drenched and soaked in water, and he placed another hand on your calf, where he began caressing and rubbing your calf with both of his hands.

His hands ran up and down your calf, lathering your leg with the water and bubbles.

The bubbles and water combination was making the bottom of your leg look shiny, and the lights above the room were helping as well.

Shawn, meanwhile, suddenly took a break from massaging your shoulders, where he ran his hands up and down across your arms, wetting and drenching your arms with his wet hands.

Didn't feel as good as massaging your shoulders, but it is something nice of him to do.

Triple H also changed what he was rubbing.

Instead of rubbing up and down your calf, he now suddenly was rubbing your foot, his fingers lacing through the empty holes in between your toes, cleansing and cleaning your foot.

How nice of him to do that.

While your foot wasn't aching or anything, it's still nice of him to rub your foot.

Though, is it necessary?

Considering not only is your foot not really hurting, but it's kind of gross he's rubbing your foot; something that's a bit dirty and he'll rub your other leg again after rubbing something dirty.

Although, your foot was soaked under the jacuzzi's water, so it isn't too bad.

The warm water dripping down your foot made your clit tingle and jump up, it felt so good.

Speaking of feeling good, Shawn lifted his hands off of your arms and sunk them under the water, where he lifted his hands up from the water, his palms holding foamy, frothy bubbles and water.

He tried his best to balance and hold both of those things in the palms of his hands.

He directed both of those hands to your tits, where he splat the water and bubbles on your tits, some of the water and bubbles dripping below your tits.

Once his hands and palms were on your tits, he began caressing and massaging your breasts, the palms of his hands rubbing and caressing your breasts.

He ran the palms of his hands in circles on your breasts, rubbing and smearing water and bubbles over and over on your breasts, smearing your tits with those substances.

Shawn's palms caressing your tits brushed your nipples and areolas, causing you to feel sensitive tingles in your areolas that felt so good.

The combination of bubbles and water made the skin on your breasts look shiny, and Triple H could see your tits looking shiny as well as being smeared in water and bubbles, which very heavily sexually aroused him.

Though, he as well as Shawn were both already sexually aroused considering they're both massaging and sharing a jacuzzi with a sexy naked chick.

Shawn's face was right next to yours, you could hear him breathing in your ear, and he decided to spice things up, especially considering he's right next to you.

"You have such hot, sexy tits, baby" he purred in your ear. "Y'like me rubbing your tits?"

His voice made shivers travel down your spine and make your clit jump up a bit.

"Yes" you answered.

"You've got such a hot, sexy body" he purred, his voice as warm and husky as the water the two of you were bathing in. "And that body belongs to me"

Triple H, meanwhile, sunk his hands under the water and placed his hands on both sides of your other calf, where he lifted your other foot out of the water, until your foot was sticking out of the water as well as your calf.

Once your other foot and calf was slightly sticking out of the water, he put his hands on your other calf he was previously rubbing and put it back down under the water.

When he did that, you let your leg and foot that Triple H was about to rub stick out and didn't mind him putting the leg he previously was rubbing down in the water.

Trips sunk his hands under a part of the water where the top of the water had bubbles over it, only to lift his hands out of the water, holding and carrying the foamy, frothy bubbles on his hands.

He placed those hands on your foot sticking out of the water, putting one hand on top of your foot and the other at the bottom of your foot.

The bubbles and water was dripping down your foot and into the water again.

He began to rub his palms up and down your feet, his fingers lacing through the spaces in between your toes, cleaning your toes and feet.

His palms and hands caressed your feet, cleansing your feet, which, luckily, weren't sitting on the jacuzzi's dirty floor.

His hands lathered your feet like it was actual soap.

Your feet are a bit ticklish but not that much.

"Am I making you feel good, babydoll?" Shawn purred in your ear, his hands still caressing your tits.

"Fuck yeah" you replied, your voice sounding breathy and sexy.

He decided to do something different to your tits.

Instead of caressing your tits, now his hands were squeezing your tits.

This did surprise you a bit, but he didn't squeeze your tits too hard.

Triple H suddenly put his hands back down in the water, rinsing his hands under the jacuzzi.

Good for him

His eyes searched somewhere in the hottub for an area that had bubbles above the water, and once his eyes caught a pile of bubbles in the jacuzzi, his hands leaped to a perfect place in the hottub that had frothy bubbles atop of the water, his hands running still underwater.

Once his hands were at the spot he wanted to find some frothy bubbles in the jacuzzi, he rose his hands from the water, his palms holding up a huge pile of frothy bubbles.

His hands were also warm, hot and dripping wet, and that's perfect.

He directed his hands towards your leg currently sticking out from the hot tub, where he placed his palms on your calf, smacking the bubbles on your calf.

He began caressing and rubbing both of his palms up and down your calf, both of his hands on opposite sides of your calf.

Not only did his hands and palms travel and slather both sides of your calf, but also the middle of your calf as well, as well as the upper and lower part of your calf.

Some of the ends of his hair was soaking in the jacuzzi's water.

And speaking of water, he dunked his hands back down under the water, in an area that didn't have bubbles above it, only to lift his palms and hands out from the water, his palms holding the warm water, trying to balance and hold the warm water in his palms so it won't slip back into the water.

He directed those hands to your calf still sticking out of the water, smothered in bubbles, some of the water was dripping down onto your calf and rinsing your calf, and placed them on both sides of your calf.

His hands began caressing up and down your calf, rinsing the bubbles off of your calf, his palms were warm and hot.

While he rubbed your legs, his eyes were staring at your calf, making sure to rinse and get every spot smothered in bubbles and rinse the bubbles off of your leg courtesy of his palms, though you could just dunk your leg back into the water.

His palms also brushed the foamy bubbles off of your leg as his hands ran down your calf.

As this was going on, you were watching Trips clean your calf, he's so caring and gentle with your legs.

Wonder if he can see your tits looking shiny under the lights?

Once he was seemingly finished washing your leg, you hopped off of Shawn's lap and sunk your naked body into the middle of the jacuzzi, where the warm water everywhere was easing the tenseness of the dress you were wearing.

Warm, hot water was up to your neck, erasing the stress on your body, which made you feel like you were having an orgasm.

You didn't tilt your head back and moan like Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally", but you nearly could.

Your fingertips probably look like dried up prunes by now, so does Shawn and Triple H's finger tips, for that matter!

[the--blackdahlia]

This Life Chapter 1

Title: This Life Chapter 1

Summary:  Dean Winchester is the Vice President of the motorcycle club The Hunters. After almost 7 years in prison, he's free. But things have changed and Dean has to figure out how to put things back together.

Warnings: Language, drugs, gang related activity

AN: So this will be sort of a Sons of Anarchy crossover. They might be mentioned, but they aren’t actually going to show up. And thank you to the amazing @callme-kaz2y5-baby for being my beta! Love you girl!

AN 2: I’ve decided to start adding songs to each chapter! The song for Chapter 1: This Life by Curtis Stigers & The Forst Rangers

Six years, five months, twenty-two days.

It has been that long since Dean Winchester had been a free man. Getting pulled over with several pounds of coke for a customer isn't something easy to walk away from. Especially when the cop that pulls you over isn't getting kickbacks from the club.

But it wasn’t like Dean had had almost seven years to think about it or anything like that.

He walked out of the prison like he had walked in, with his back straight and his head held high. They had given him his belongings back after they had arrested and sentenced him, minus the cocaine. And he had a nice, very big fine that he would have to pay within the next year. But he was free now.

It was May and the sun was high in the sky. It was starting to get warm out. But Dean had just been about two weeks shy of missing the heatwave that had struck Central Texas. He did get yard time, but he was too busy doing others things to worry too much about the heat. Like charming the guards and winning favors from other inmates. Dean was the kingpin of the prison system. It was a god given talent if there ever was one.

The sun almost blinded Dean as he walked out to the parking lot where his bike was waiting, fresh from impound. He smiled some at his beautiful baby. It wasn’t the car that had once belonged to his dad, but it was his. He glanced around the parking lot and that when he saw another bike sitting not too far from his. And someone sitting on it, puffing away at a cigarette.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean laughed, walking over to the other bike. “Is this the best welcome wagon they could muster up?”

“What can I say brother?” Benny Lafitte flicked the cigarette onto the asphalt and snuffed it out with his boot. “I must be the only one that wants to see your sorry ass.” He got off his bike and walked over to Dean, pulling him into a hug which Dean took. “Glad to have you back Dean.”

“Thanks man.” Dean said, patting his back before they separated. “It’s good to be back.” He looked around at the parking lot. Cop cars and visitors. But no one else from the club. “Seriously, where the fuck is everyone else?”

“Back at the club, waitin’ on you asshole.” Benny teased. Dean rolled his eyes but he had a smile on his face. The got on their bikes, revving them up. A few bystanders looked at them, but Dean and Benny didn’t bother making eye contact. Some people were afraid of them, some people loved them. But most of all, they were respected. The patches stood for something. Since Dean was sixteen, they had been his everything. They represented family. And if Dean was anything, it was loyal to family.

The pair sped away from the prison. It was settled in Travis county, right by Austin. But they were heading south away from it. Towards the small town nestled between San Antonio and Austin. But just because it was small didn’t mean it could be underestimated. Wolfpine, Texas had a lot of spirit. It just wasn’t always the good kind. People say the town had gone to shit in the past forty-years, and a lot of people told them to never let their kids go to Wolfpine. But people still lived there and people still came to visit for one reason or another. Dean didn’t know too many people who had left Wolfpine after high school.

Well, except for one.

They rode side by side down I-35 before they could get off at their exit and take some more scenic roads towards Wolfpine. Dean was enjoying the breeze in his face.

Six years, five months, twenty-two days.

He was starting to think that he would never be on the road again. He could stay on the road as long as he paid that hefty fine and could prove to anyone who asked that he wasn’t just some worthless junkie. Which they should have noticed with the countless drug tests he had to take. But when it came to possession, people always assumed that you were taking it. Everything always went hand and hand when it came to cops.

And Dean knew firsthand how they tried to find other things to charge you with while you were already trapped in those concrete walls.

He took a glance over at Benny. He had his own helmet on and some dark sunglasses. His helmet had a new sticker on it that wasn’t on it when Dean had been sentenced.

RIP John Winchester

1954-2001

True Man of Mayhem

Dean gripped the handlebars a little as he thought about everything he had missed while he was forced to be gone. There was so much that had happened in that time and Dean truly hated how much of his own life had flown by without him.

A bit later, they finally passed the sign that Dean had been longing to see the entire time he had been gone.

Welcome to Wolfpine!

Home of the Wolfpine Warriors

Dean couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face as he saw the familiar territory of his hometown. Though he had been born in Kansas, he had grown up here in Texas. Wolfpine was his hometown, no matter what hospital he had been born in and which apartment his parents had for a couple months after he was born. There were a couple more For Lease signs than he had remembered in the past, but for the most part, things were still the same.

Benny and Dean pulled into the parking lot of Winchester-Singer Auto Repair. A joint venture between Dean’s real dad and his surrogate one. The one that helped John raise him and Sam when Mary was six feet under. John and Bobby had been friends on and off for a long time, taking their love of cars and bikes to a new level when they started The Hunters. A simple garage turned into so much more.

But it all felt so strange to Dean, knowing that John was gone.

“Here we are brother.” Benny said as they parked their bikes over by one of the junker cars they scraped parts off of. Dean looked over at the office as he took his helmet off. Ellen Harvelle was running the desk like normal, but her usual smile that she had on wasn’t there.

“Bill?” Dean asked. Benny sighed.

“Caught in the crossfire.” Benny stated. “Left Ellen and Jo behind.”

As if on queue, Dean heard the hard thud of a wooden broom handle hitting the asphalte, followed by the cries of a teenage girl.

“Oh my god! Dean!” Jo ran over and tackled hugged Dean then. She knocked him off his balance some, since he wasn’t expecting her. “You’re here!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He pushed her away some and saw that she was taller and leaner than the last time he had seen her. “Damn Jo, when did you grow up?” She was about two and a half years younger than Sam, and had become the Winchester boys unofficial little sister, no matter how much they wished she would just leave them alone.

“Hey Jo, Dean’s got some business to attend to inside.” Benny said. Dean and Benny headed towards the shop, where no one seemed to be. Jo watched him and sighed before picking her broom back up and working on sweeping the parking lot.

“Girl got curvy.” Dean joked with Benny as they made their way to the heavy metal doors. They passed through them, walking past shelves of parts and other materials.

“Yeah. But anything’s gonna look good to you after seven years of sausages.” Benny laughed. Dean rolled his eyes but followed Benny through another set of doors. This one let them into the bar that the Hunters hung out in. But, yet again, there was no one there.

“Okay, what gives?” Dean asked as they entered the bar. “There’s no one here.”

“Just wait.” Benny assured Dean. With a smirk on his face, he pushed open the heavy wooden doors to their meeting room. Heads turned to look at them as they entered. Dean’s eyes immediately fell on head of the table. The chair that once belonged to his father. In his place sat Bobby Singer.

“Dean.” Bobby said, standing and round the table. “Welcome home son.” He pulled Dean into a hug. Dean returned it, loving the feeling of being home. “It’s so good to have you back.” Dean looked around the room as they pulled apart. Dean saw familiar faces and couldn’t help but smile.

“Garth? He’s just a prospect!” Dean laughed.

“Not anymore Dean man.” Garth said, showing off his patch. “Haven’t been for a couple years.”

“Was one of the last things your dad did.” Bobby explained. Dean looked around, his smile falling some.

“Where’s Sammy?” Dean asked. Benny and Bobby looked at each other. “Guys?”

“Dean, I think we need to talk.” Benny said, offering Dean a seat.

Forever Tags: @imboredsueme @aiaranradnay @theas-bedtime-stories @cutie1365 @dekahg @marvel-af @bandobsession98 @sammat97 @nanie5 @dslocum89 @i-would-die-for-woodland-demars @newtospnfandom @xxwarhawk @luciathewinchestergirl @tina8009

Supernatural Tags: @essie1876 @smoothdogsgirl @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @sabigmart @jadepc @winchestergeekfreak @winchesterslibrary @atc74 @anathewierdo

[madameocotillo]

Haunted house stories please?

HAHA oh man, sure!! This was not something I really expected to be asked after I tag-talked about it lol, but I have plenty to share.

A preface: I was at House of Torment in Austin, Tx for 6 years, until I moved cities, and was a floor manager for 5 of those. What this means is I was in costume every night, but instead of being in a single scene like most actors, I got to run around a huge portion of the haunt. I took care of the actors in my zone, while also checking on/fixing props, dealing with problem customers (MANY of these, but all the managers had radios w/ earpieces & were kept updated constantly by the control room staff monitoring the night vision cameras in almost every room), and scaring everyone else. Being a manager, I had a lot more......leeway in what I could do, namely dangerous stunts and shit that scene actors were not permitted to do for legal reasons.

Worth a mention as well; I have always been an athletic dumbass with a high degree of flexibility and pain tolerance, so let’s start with that as a baseline. This is long, so i’ll just start with one! I may reblog it to add more later though.

CHAINSAW TAG: An upgraded children’s game w/ 120% more terror.

Picture this: It’s 1am, and the building is closed & empty. The actors have gone home, the music is off, and the bright house lights are dark. You are alone, creeping along in the dim glow of the operating lights, using your familiarity with the terrain to keep as silent as you can, while also avoiding stumbling over the uneven floor as you strain your ears to catch any sounds not generated by you.

Over the thud of your own heartbeat, you hear something: careful steps coming up the stairs several rooms behind you; whomever is making them is obviously trying to remain as unnoticed as you are, but doesn’t know enough to skip over the top two steps, which always groaned under pressure.

There’s no way to know who is behind you, and the risk of staying to find out isn’t worth it. There are a few hiding places you know of in your vicinity, and the one that is better than all the rest is also unfortunately the most difficult to get into swiftly AND quietly. You make your choice, and straighten up to begin trying to unlatch the cabinet door that actually contains a small passage onto a metal ledge, hanging 20ft above the floor below, with a large, heavy, hinged grate that actors can push over to scare customers with its deafening crash. The cabinet hinge squeaks loudly if opened too fast, you know, so you pick the slow and stealthy option. This was a mistake; you are TOO slow.

There aren’t quiet steps behind you anymore, because now they are advancing rapidly, with heavy footfalls. The unmistakable sound of a cord being pulled several times, an engine starting, and by the time they burst into the doorway of your room, the chainsaw in their hands is revved and roaring.

Your heartbeat goes haywire, and your mouth goes dry as adrenaline kicks in like a shotgun blast. Silence be damned, you rip the cabinet door open, climb onto the counter, and hurl your body forward through the 2ft entrance as the person, still dripping with the blood they wore that night while out on the lot, terrifying customers to take their minds off the line, lunges for you with a shriek. You ARE fast enough this time, the cabinet door bangs shut and the latch re-engages behind you, but the chainsaw-wielder is just as aware as you are of the tiny ledge, with no exit but the way you came, that you are now perched on. You hear them start to fumble with the latch.

Heartbeat still thundering, you smile. You don’t expect them to know this, but this area happens to be one of your favorite spots in the building for three reasons.

1) It’s a part of your zone, you have spent hundreds of hours patrolling it over the course of the season, and you are very, very comfortable in it.

2) After the grate is pushed over by an actor, and the resulting noise causes the customers beneath to drop to the floor, hands over their ears, screaming like they think the world is ending, they always recover and look up to see what made it. Through the metal mesh of the ledge, they can see the actor that scared them, the grate, and you as well if you’re there that time. Usually one person laughs at the rest of the group, and they make to continue down the hall, content that the monsters are two stories up and cannot reach them.

3) As mentioned before, you are a gigantic dumbass with the impulse control of a particularly acrobatic toddler.

The sets in this building are movie-grade, meant to take abuse from staff and guests alike, and built to facilitate the high-intensity scares your company is known for. This means almost everything is weight-bearing, baby.

The would-be killer gets the cabinet door open just in time to see you roll off the edge of the platform, slowing your decent to the concrete below by pushing off the metal sewage pipes that jut from the wall to enhance the atmosphere. Ricocheting all the way down to the ground floor, instead of rushing forward like you normally would, at the practically incoherent group you just landed a few feet in front of, you race off at full speed down the hallway, while the thwarted maniac calls down that you’re a bag of dicks, and they’re going to go eat the half-sandwich you left in the break room.

This my friend, is Chainsaw Tag!! Only played by management & equivalent level staff, after the haunt was closed for the night, it was a dangerous, no-holds barred, showdown-survival match between a bunch of people trying to ‘survive’ as long as they could, and one with a real chainsaw (minus chain, jesus christ we weren’t trying to actually kill someone) & a desire to give their friends minor heart attacks. Haunted house employees are not known for their strong survival instincts.

People ask me a lot, “Why do you hate horror movies, if you love horror video games and work in a haunted house??” The answer to that is, IT’S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT BALLGAME IF I CAN PERSONALLY INFLUENCE THE OUTCOME OF THE SITUATION. The experience of having, as far as your brain is concerned in the moment, a real person with a chainsaw hunting you down is unlike anything I can possibly think to compare it to; you instinctively go into a genuinely terrified state, it doesn't matter how logically you know that the asshole stalking you with a chainsaw isn’t really going to kill you, you promised to buy him Wendy’s on the way home, the second you start to doubt that the sounds you are hearing are coming from a fellow ‘victim’ your brain is already off and doing its thing. When a chainsaw starts up in the dark, one room away, you run, but most importantly, YOU CAN CHOOSE EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE TO TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ‘ALIVE’ THAT MATCH, THERE IS NO WAITING AROUND KNOWING THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU IS GONNA HAPPEN BECAUSE THAT’S THE WAY THE DIRECTOR SHOT IT.

We didn’t play every night, and sometimes games lasted until the sun rose, before we all trudged off to try to make it through classes/daytime jobs, but MAN was it worth it. I feel like i’ve actually got some honest to goodness experience surviving a slasher movie lol, and as long as I knew the terrain and was lucky, I might actually survive. The building we were in at the time was 40,000 square feet, and most of it was the extremely intricate haunted house, so there were a ton of choices players could make in how they hid, where they hid, if they took a stationary approach or a more active one, the way I did, et cetera.

The building also used to be an old warehouse, complete with steel beams criss-crossing the length of the ceiling, and if you think I didn’t hang like a bat from them, 40 ft above the ground in an open area that didn’t have any false floors, with a flashlight in hand so that as soon as I spotted the person who was ‘It’ I could switch it on and make a godawful Dracula impression at them, you would be thinking wrong.

I have thought before that if I owned/had access to some wooded land, or a building that was built up in a way to make it fun, I would love to run my own game of Chainsaw tag with friends. There really is nothing else that can come close as far as the rush you get when playing it, much less surviving till the end of the round and getting to laugh at the dumb ways your friends ‘died’. Of course people snuck off to make out, and YES they totally did get caught & killed with MUCH more frequency than those of us who knew better, that’s like one of the basic tropes of horror movies, good god.

And yes, the chainsaw wielder DID have to touch you with the chainsaw in order to tag you out, and there were no safe zones (that were respected, anyways).

[1962dude420-blog]

Happy Birfday Michael Haaga Born: June 4, 1969 in Chicago, Illinois

Born Michael Alan Haaga, he came to local prominence as a founding member and the singer/guitarist of Houston's Dead Horse. The band released two demos and two albums with Haaga in the group between 1988 and 1992. Haaga is also credited on the first release from Superjoint Ritual titled "Use Once and Destroy" as the band's bassist and backing vocalist but his credit is buried 14 lines down below the other listed band members, just below the disc's "Photography" credit. On tour supporting that release he was replaced by Hank Williams III.

Haaga went on to form The Demonseeds with drummer Joseph Fazzio and bassist Craig Cazaubon and managed one album entitled Knee Deep in Hell's Grasp released in 1999. The band was also nominated by the Houston Press in 2000 for "Best Metal/Hard Rock" but didn't manage to win their category as far as the "Readers Choice" was concerned but did manage to win the "Critics Choice" for that category.

He also went on to release a solo LP with the backing of several musicians from the Houston and Austin area entitled The Plus and Minus Show. It was released in late 2004 and it managed to garner four Houston Press Music Awards in 2005 or really five awards if you include the one awarded to Best Guitar winner Kelly Doyle that year, who in addition to playing in The Plus and Minus Show, also played in Houston Bands Three Fantastic and Clouseaux. Haaga's first solo effort won Album of the Year, Songwriter of the Year, Song of the Year and Local Artist of the Year. The band broke up shortly thereafter.

Find out more about Michael Haaga's art and music at https://www.mhaaga.com/

[emo-metalhead-punki]

Halloween (not really) 🎃

Scene! Ash is Nyan cat and metal! Henry is B-side lemon demon UuU

And don't worry, metal! Austin is minus Austin heheheee!!

And also here some lazy references of their costumes

[kbox-in-the-box]

Austin Kingsley: Star Prodigy — Episode 1, “Saving Alexandria,” Part 2

The cheery yellow 1971 Honda Z600 puttered to a stop in front of the imposingly monolithic warehouse, surrounded on all sides by a manufacturing park that had long since fallen into disrepair.

The driver stepped gingerly through the shallow puddles that dotted the grimy pavement, not wanting to muddy either her broken-in but still mostly white Adidas sneakers or her hot pink leg warmers.

“According to this, this is the place,” Mitzi Klingfeld confirmed, brushing back her billowy blonde hair as her bright blue eyes skimmed through the folder of loosely organized documents that Ms. Van Doren had handed her. “Building 49-A in the Hammersmith Industrial Development ... God, who would want to set up shop in the middle of the Engine Block?” she wondered, tugging at the loose neckline of her oversized sweater to keep it from falling off her shoulders.

As her sweater settled back down to its normal level, Mitzi spotted a small, seemingly hand-carved wooden sign, next to the structure's only visible entrance, whose homey and ornately rustic charm felt incongruous with the featureless exterior of the inner-city facility.

“The Bookhouse,” Mitzi read aloud, tracing her fingertips along the rough grain of the letters, before she fished a key out of the sheaf of paperwork with which Ms. Van Doren had entrusted her.

“Hello?” Mitzi called out nervously, as she was struck by the stark contrast between the sun outside, nearing its midday height in the Southwestern sky, and the murky darkness inside, punctuated only by perplexing, intermittently flashing, tiny chirping computer lights. As her eyes adjusted, she could make out towering shelves stocked with an eclectic mix of antique museum pieces and futuristic-looking devices whose functions she couldn't even begin to guess at. “Jeez, it's like the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark in here.”

“Quest Tracker recording, Star Point Portal experiment 51,” a man's voice announced, from further in the depths of the labyrinthine shelves. As Mitzi followed the voice to its source, she suddenly found herself facing the backside of a naked young man, standing inside a large upright ring, spreading his legs to plant his bare feet firmly at its base, as he extended his arms horizontally for his hands to grip the ring. Even as Mitzi quickly averted her stunned stare, she couldn't help but be reminded, by the pose of his body, of a five-pointed star.

“This is Austin Imhotep Kingsley, conducting scientist and guinea pig,” his voice reported for posterity, with enough of a wry tone that Mitzi could practically see his smirk, even as he continued to face away from her, “attempting to activate the Ouroboros on its own, minus the key of the star segments, by redirecting my recently received energies into the artifact.” As the ring's glow grew, Mitzi traced the light trails of its wires and tubes to a much smaller ring, an engraved stone relic on which the metallic model appeared to have been based.

“And with that, I suppose all that's left to say is ... Desperta Ferres,” Austin Kingsley declared tremulously, as his naked skin lit up with neon yellow symbols and patterns, whose energy pulsed and flowed, first into the larger ring, then into what Mitzi guessed must be the Ouroboros, illuminating them both with a rising hum, until crackling sparks flew from where Austin's hands and feet made contact with the ring, and an explosive force blew him backward, out of the ring and into the nearest row of shelves, where Mitzi had hidden to spy on him.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” Mitzi repeated frantically, even as she immediately rushed out to grab the glaringly red extinguisher off its wall mounting and douse the flurry of flames that had replaced the shower of sparks coming from the ring, before she turned to Austin, who'd been knocked out by the blast. “Mister Kingsley?” she patted his face anxiously, hoping to revive him, while pulling a heavy wool blanket from the floor around him for warmth. “Please say you're okay.”

Austin coughed himself awake, to discover his head resting in Mitzi's miniskirted lap. He blinked his wide blue eyes at her, and she realized that his smooth, handsome young face made for a fitting match with his sleek, attractive body ... not that she'd been looking, of course.

“It didn't work, did it?” Austin checked, his tone so despondent that she couldn't resist brushing his silky, sandy brown bangs back from his knitted brow.

Mitzi shook her head with regret. “Whatever you were trying to do, I don't think it happened.” Curiosity overcame her. “What does 'Desperta Ferres' mean?”

“It's a Medieval Catalan battle cry,” Austin grunted as he rose to his feet, sloughing off the rough blanket like a snake shedding its skin, which compelled Mitzi to grudgingly turn her appraising gaze away yet again. “It means, 'Awake, iron,' which couldn't help but seem appropriate under the circumstances.” When he turned back to address her, he noticed her attention was fixed intently on the ceiling, her arms crossed tight over her broad chest. “Why are you ... oh, right. Western culture, nudity taboos. Sorry. I still forget sometimes.”

“Yeah, think you could take care of that? Thanks,” Mitzi requested curtly, and instantly felt a twinge of guilt over her mild abruptness, as Austin slipped on the same pair of black casual pants and matching utilitarian top he'd apparently been wearing before his experiment. The band collar with the gold trim opened into a low but narrow neckline, that allowed him to slip it over his head while barely mussing up his floppy mop of hair, and only exposed glimpses of the peach fuzz on his chest to those who were genuinely trying to catch sight of it.

Mitzi cleared her throat, as much to rouse herself from her reverie as to attract Austin's attention. "Look, I'm sure whatever you're doing here is super-important, and it's not like I'm in any position to judge how anyone else does their business, so if you could just fill out these forms, that Ms. Van Doren sent me over here to get completed, I promise I'll leave you alone, to strip down and electrocute yourself to your heart's content."

Austin rolled up his gold-hemmed sleeves as he scanned rapidly through the thick stack of expense inquiries. “Of course Nora sent you,” he muttered, as much to himself as to Mitzi. “Only seven keys in all of creation can open the doors of the Bookhouse, and they can't be duplicated.” He stopped short, in the midst of his nimble fingers flitting quickly through the overstuffed binder, to separate out a single sheet of paper from the pile. “This belongs to you, actually. It's your résumé from ... Trust-E Temps? And you might as well return the rest of Nora's tedious attempts at bookkeeping to the Athenæum on your way out. Please tell her I have no time to be nickel-and-dimed by the same company my parents started and her family stole.”

“Tell her yourself, Buster!” Mitzi slapped Austin's proffered paperwork against his chest, her temper finally flaring. “I'm tired of you two treating me like one of those little plastic players on a foosball table, and I couldn't care less about whatever sordid soap opera drama you've got going on between you!” She sighed wearily, her shoulders slumping so low that she briefly resembled a deflating balloon. “If you send me back there empty-handed, then Nora, or Ms. Van Doren, or whatever I'm supposed to call her? She'll call my agency, and I'll get a bad eval, and I'll be out of a job. And I've got a little girl to take care of, so that is just not going to happen, okay?” Mitzi mostly succeeded in keeping the tremor of impending tears out of her voice.

Austin so obviously had no idea how to handle such an outburst that Mitzi almost felt sorry for him, until he broke into a giddy grin that did little to reassure her. “Wait ... ah, why didn't I see it before? Stupid, Austin! Um ... Mitzi, is it? Or Ms. Klingfeld, if you prefer? If all you need is a new employer, then I could just hire you to help me out here! Oh, you'd be perfect!”

Mitzi winced reflexively. “It's not that I don't appreciate the vote of confidence, but ... well, I've been in enough bad relationships already that the absolute last thing I need in my life right now is to nursemaid yet another crazy person who's trying to kill themselves. No offense.”

“Two minutes,” Austin cajoled, holding up two fingers. “Give me just two minutes, maybe three, to give your perspective a paradigm shift ... and I'll fill out Nora's forms for you, regardless of your decision,” he exhaled heavily at the apparent weight of his concession. “Please.”

“Two minutes?” Mitzi checked skeptically.

“Maybe three,” Austin repeated, before venturing, “Possibly four?”

“Let's make this simple,” Mitzi held up her hand, before fetching her burgeoning purse from where she'd set it on the floor. “Lucky for you, I'm a sucker for hopeless headcases.” She fished through the depths of her handbag until she found her Walkman, the cord of its headphones still wound round it securely, to keep its cassette from popping out. “I've never been able to resist giving at least a single dance to just about any fella who can work up the nerve to ask. If he knocks my socks off, we keep on dancing. If he doesn't, I thank him kindly, and he still gets to say he got a free dance from a classy gal.”

This time, it was Austin's turn to pull a befuddled expression. “I ... never really learned how to dance.”

“That figures,” Mitzi snorted, before retrieving the tape marked “Heart: Alone/Barracuda” from the player, and holding it up to Austin's line of sight. “I'm guessing this'll be your first lesson on the Wilson sisters too, then.” She replaced the tape in the player, snapped its lid shut, hung its headphones around Austin's neck, and dialed their volume to maximum, before holstering the Walkman on the waist of her miniskirt. “I picked up this single during the summer. I've practically worn out the A-side since then. The song's about three and a half minutes, and you'll pardon the pun, but I know it by heart.”

“And I have the length of this song to make my case,” Austin grasped, as Mitzi noted that he seemed suddenly invigorated by being assigned such concrete parameters.

Mitzi beamed with approval in spite of herself. “Clever boy, Mister Kingsley.”

[barinacraft]

NFL Football Team Cocktails - Drinks For Every Roster

Game Day Drinks And Cocktails For All 32 NFL Football Teams

Football season means great tailgate parties away at the stadium for home games and at your in home bar for away games when your team is on road. These NFL football team inspired cocktails* will give you lots of game day party ideas for themed drinks for all 32 NFL teams out on the gridiron.

The cocktails were chosen based on a number of factors including team names, colors, mascots, player and squad nicknames as well as city, regional and state monikers, landmarks, festivals and more. A few were created as signature drinks for specific football teams, but most were added to the roster because they were a good fit for that club.

Whether its pre-season scrimmages, regular season games or the playoffs; Wild Card, Divisional, Conference and the Superbowl, there's a drink listed here that's perfect for your pigskin party. Some of the squads have several symbolic sips which lets you substitute your drink line-up based on the schedule.

So, with one hand waving your favorite team's foam finger shouting you're #1 and the other hand free for a refreshment, the only question is:

Are You Ready For Some NFL Football Team Cocktails?

American Football Conference Team Themed Drinks

AFC East

Buffalo Bills:

Buffalo Bill - equal parts apple cider or juice and bourbon or rye whiskey.

Niagara Falls - a fancy drink named after the natural attraction nearby the city along the Canadian border.

Miami Dolphins:

Mojito - the national drink of Cuba is a favorite in Little Havana as well as one of the most popular cocktails in Florida and throughout the rest of the states.

New England Patriots:

New England Highball - when it comes to cocktails, what's better than a highball while watching football?

Red, White and Blue - a pousse-cafe drink layered in patriotic colors.

New York Jets:

Manhattan - along with Brooklyn has the highest concentration of fans according to a 2013 Facebook study.

Bronx - followed by Queens borough, the former home of Shea stadium, also love the J-E-T-S. This drink is basically an Income Tax cocktail minus the bitters.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens:

Purple Hooter - black raspberry liqueur colors these tailgate party potations plum perfect.

Cincinnati Bengals:

Bengal Tiger - the namesake is a tawny, red brandy drink while an original recipe adds black licorice stripes to an orange vodka cocktail that could be a spooky sip on Halloween too.

Cincinnati Cocktail - fill your favorite beer glass half full with a bold brew and top off with soda water.

Cleveland Browns:

Brown Cocktail - equal parts gin, light or dark rum and dry vermouth.

Brown Derby Drink - legendary football coach Paul Brown who the NFL team is named after was known for wearing his iconic hat on the gridiron sidelines. It was a fedora, but the (brown) derby is de rigueur.

Brown University Cocktail - their namesake college football team drink would love to be drafted by pros for game day. The “Brunonian” is equal parts bourbon and dry vermouth with a couple dashes of orange bitters.

Pittsburgh Steelers:

Black & Gold - refining iron ore put this steel town on the grid. Their NFL football team inspired gridiron drink adds a precious metal to the mix. Combine black vodka with gold flaked cinnamon schnapps two to one.

Monongahela Cobbler - named for one of the waterways which flows past Heinz Field (formerly Three Rivers Stadium) that's known for its rye whiskey.

AFC South

Houston Texans:

Black Gold - a nod to the city's former franchise, the Houston Oilers.

Longhorn - another college sports team themed cocktail that would like to be drafted by the NFL, especially from the same great state and mascot. The burnt orange color of the University of Texas at Austin inspired this recipe with lemon rum, orange rum, vodka, orange vodka, orange soda, ice and oranges.

Indianapolis Colts:

Horse's Neck - this drink is named after its garnish.

Jacksonville Jaguars:

Jaguar - a Barina Craft original drink recipe that is spotted with southern sipping favorites.

Tennessee Titans:

Lynchburg Lemonade - Tennessee whiskey, sweet & sour mix, orange liqueur and lemon-lime soda makes a southern sip worth suing the distillery over.

Tennessee Tea - same as above, just substitute cola for lemon-lime soda.

AFC West

Denver Broncos:

Orange Crush - this NFL football team inspired drink celebrates the nickname given to Denver's opponent crushing 3-4 defense and the Broncos bright colored home uniform jerseys in the 1970s.

Kansas City Chiefs:

Arrowhead Cocktails - the Chiefs' logo is carved in stone and one of these drinks is cherry.

Kansas City Ice Water - flows thru the fountains at Arrowhead stadium and in the veins of the players and fans who as of this writing boast the loudest sports crowd roar.

Las Vegas Raiders:

Casino Cocktails - now that the team is located in the Entertainment Capital of the World, famous for gambling and other activities throughout all the city's mega casino-hotels, these drinks are a sure bet for Raiders fans.

Oakland Raider Cocktail - a black rum and cola mixed with a shot of silver tequila over ice. This silver and black drink symbolizes Raider Nation whether they're playing in Oakland, Los Angeles or Las Vegas.

Los Angeles Chargers:

Charger Cocktail - toast the team's moniker to 'charge' when the bugle call sounds with this cherry brandy and rum sour.

San Diego Seabreeze - this legacy drink preserves team history. 1 oz vodka, ½ oz each blackberry brandy and blueberry & raspberry schnapps, plus 2 oz each orange and pineapple juice in a tall collins glass over ice.

National Football Conference Team Themed Drinks

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys:

Cowboy Cocktail - throw the cream away and drink the shot of whiskey straight up.

Fedora Cocktail - in honor of their legendary head coach Tom Landry who wore his heralded headgear on the sidelines for 29 seasons.

Thanksgiving Cocktails - dubbed America's team, they always play football on this holiday.

New York Giants:

The New York Cocktail - the entire state loves the NY Football Giants, except for parts of the city per Facebook 2013. This is an interesting whiskey sour style drink with rye, lime juice, grenadine and an old fashioned sugar cube.

Philadelphia Eagles:

Eagle Cocktail - Philly is the perfect roosting place for this classic drink.

Eagle's Dream - sugar and egg whites substitute for maraschino liqueur in this variation of the Aviation drink recipe.

Washington Commanders:

Cherry Blossom - this national flowering festival held locally is closely associated with the area as is a rumored story of a namesake founding father chopping down a certain tree.

Gin Rickey - “air conditioning in a glass” is the unofficial official drink of D.C.

Political Cocktails - any number of these drinks could be served at a game day party in this city if you want to mix politics with religion, er, football that is.

NFC North (Black and Blue Division)

Chicago Bears:

The Chicago Cocktail - pretty fancy for football but it is the city's namesake drink.

Detroit Lions:

Lion's Tail - Detroit is one of two NFL teams along with Dallas to always play a game on Thanksgiving to start the Xmas holidays so the use of an allspice liqueur, dubbed “Christmas in a glass” by Murray Stenson, in combination with the drink's name make this cocktail a perfect match. 2 oz bourbon, ½ oz each pimento dram and lime juice, ½ tsp simple syrup and 1 dash aromatic bitters.

Green Bay Packers:

Blood and Sand - Johnny ‘Blood’ McNally, who took his nickname from the movie and loved to sing Galway Bay while standing up on bar table tops, was a star player for four championship Packer teams in Green Bay and one of the original members inducted into the Pro Football Hall Of Fame.

Brandy Old Fashioned - to wet your whistle in Wisconsin, just replace the bourbon or rye you normally use in the recipe.

Minnesota Vikings:

Purple People Eater Elixir - raise your Viking drinking horn and toast possibly the best defensive line of any football team in NFL history.

Scandinavian Glogg - this Nordic mulled wine really packs a punch.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons:

Georgia Peach Cocktails - did you know some suggested the Falcons be christened after the official state fruit?

Scarlett O'Hara & Rhett Butler - these two drinks are both named after characters in Gone With The Wind which was set in and around Atlanta.

Carolina Panthers:

Carolina Iced Tea - spiced rum, vodka and both peach liqueur & schnapps along with some southern style sweet tea in a tall glass or mason jar.

New Orleans Saints:

Sazerac - the official drink of New Orleans often referred to as America's oldest cocktail.

Vieux Carré - the signature drink of the French Quarter named after the “old square” at the center of the Crescent City.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

Bumbo - a pirate's poison.

Filibuster - although its more closely associated with politics these days, the word originally derives from the Dutch term vrijbuiter for pirate, which means "to plunder," where vrij means "free" and buiter means "booty."

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals:

Cardinal Cocktail - a Kir drink variation also known as Communard which substitutes red wine for white.

Los Angeles Rams:

Greatest Show On Turf - a nickname for the team's record breaking offense during the 1999 through 2001 National Football League seasons when they were the Saint Louis Rams.

Ram Cocktail - seems appropriate that the helmet battering Rams namesake drink is a variation of a Harvey Wallbanger.

San Francisco 49ers:

Barbary Coast Cocktails - a pair of pigskin party picks named after the city's seedy, crime ridden, red-light district during the California gold rush and beyond. One drink has equal parts gin, scotch whisky, white chocolate creme de cacao and light cream or half and half. The other is mixed with dry gin, cherry brandy, lemon juice and grenadine.

Frisco Sour - the tasteless moniker given to this gold drink garnished with a red cherry which matches the football team colors.

Seattle Seahawks:

Emerald City - a signature drink for this city with the blue green nickname whose major league football, baseball and soccer teams all sport these colors.

Share & Compare This List Of NFL Team Drinks For More Ideas

This list of libations is a work in progress. Be sure to check back for updated ideas, more NFL football team inspired cocktails and links to additional information.

Have a suggestion for a game day drink recipe for your favorite NFL team? Contact us or post on our Facebook wall.

Want a generic gridiron geared gulp instead? Check out these pigskin potations penned for plays, points and positions like the Block & Fall, Quarterback and Touchdown.

Please, always drink responsibly.

* - DISCLAIMER: NFL related images, logos, etc. are shown only as a point of reference / commentary for names, mascots, colors and so on as potential drink inspirations and do not represent an affiliation, sponsorship or endorsement by the league, any individual team or associated person or group.

[lucky3gskittyzine]

Scene minus punki: well, at least he didnt kill you

Metal Minus austin: and you two didnt say sorry

Scene minus punki: fine im sorry

Scene minus punki: BITCH

pfff *giggle* good move mate