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myfictionaldreams · 1 year ago

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Day 18: Sex Pollen - Bucky Barnes

Summary: It was your first mission out with your mentor, Bucky, but not all goes to plan when you stumble across an old Hydra laboratory and accidentally trigger a trap.

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, dubious content (kinda), mentor/protege, grumpy/sunshine trope, sex pollen, fingering, begging, crying, rough sex, multiple orgasms, praise kink, creampie

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“Can you stay close to me?”

“Bucky, if I was any closer to you, I might as well be your shadow. Will you chill out, please?”.

All the response that you are given is an exasperated sigh from your team leader, who was directly in front of you, his gun raised and pointing in whichever direction his eyes followed. You were so close to him that the head of his body seeped through his uniform and into your back as you followed his steps, almost like a choreographed dance with the synrosy.

It was technically your first mission today; even though you’d been over comms for Bucky countless times, he finally gave in and agreed that you could join. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you; in fact, he trusted you more than most. It was more due to his intense mentorship and protectiveness that he’d developed for you over the years, which had everything to do with your clumsiness.

Yes, you were an agent, but there were only so many times that you could accidentally hurt yourself before they called in your experience and practice. You were moved to a behind-the-desk job, which pained your heart, but soon, Bucky was your partner, digitally through the headset and then in person, as you begged him daily for training and a chance to prove yourself.

He was reluctant, but you were like an incessant fly, always buzzing around him with that chirpy personality that even managed to draw a smile to his grumpy old - yet handsome - face. The more time he spent with you, the more you could chip away at his heavy exterior and mask, which only hindered your chances of returning to the field again, as the thought of having you so close in the danger zone had him near palpitations.

He blamed it on your clumsy nature, tripping over your own feet or dropping vital machinery, but in truth, Bucky had wanted to prioritise your safety, which was hard when he had a job to do. However, after months of pestering, you wore him down enough to agree that you could attend the Avengers to a sweep of a supposed deserted Hydra base.

“If you continue down this corridor, I can check the rooms”, you say quietly, hardly audibly over a pin drop, but with Bucky’s increased hearing, you knew he could hear.

“Absolutely not; you’re staying with me; we’ve discussed this. We’ll check the rooms together and finish the rest of the corridor”. Bucky’s word was final, so you didn’t argue back, restraining violently to not eye roll at his authoritative tone.

“You two are like an old married couple”, Natasha quips over the comms, which was enough for both you and Bucky to roll your eyes. It was a comment frequently shared with those around you, and it warmed you to hear such pleasantries, and then the realisation that Bucky would never go for someone like you had the sensation of ice coursing down your spine.

“I think you’ll find he’s the old one, not me”, you retort sarcastically as Bucky leads the way into the first room. “This looks like Bruce’s office or something. Do you recognise any of these experiments?”

It was an old, decrepit office laced with dust and thick cobwebs, similar to something from Frankenstein with the number of attempted experiments that seemed littered around the room. Endless stacks of paper, vials of dusky-coloured liquids, and photographs stapled to the walls that were decaying with age.

“No, I don’t recognise any of this, but whatever it is can’t be good news. Stay close and don’t touch anything”. You once more refrain from the eye roll, knowing he means well, but you’re not a child who needs to be reminded to hold their parent's hand all the time. Taking a step away from him, your eyes scanned the various objects, noticing that it was in a language you didn’t quite recognise.

“Thor, I think we have some voodoo stuff here that’s from your neck of the woods”, Bucky announced through his earpiece.

“You think so?” you ask over your shoulder towards the man with his back to you.

“Yeah, I recognise some of these markings from his hammer”.

“Huh. maybe it’s one of the bases Loki was hiding in; he did like dark and damp places- SHIT!”

To your credit, you hadn’t touched anything or even tripped and knocked something over; potentially, a trip wire or a sensor was trapped in the room, but a light drizzling mist sprayed into your face halfway through your sentence. As you were talking, the concoction settled on your tongue but also seemed everywhere else: your eyes, nostrils, and ears felt wet.

“What? What happened?!” Bucky snapped, standing in front of you in seconds as he assessed you, wiping your eyes.

“I…I don’t know, something sprayed me in the face”. As soon as you’d explained what had happened, Bucky was cradling your face more harshly than you’d have liked, tilting your face in all directions, even sniffing close to see what had covered you, but it had already absorbed into your skin.

Bucky’s eyes were frantically searching over every pore of your face like it would give him answers about what had sprayed you. His gloved finger and thumb holding your chin tightened as he swore. “Fuck! I told you to be careful and stay by my side! Why would you touch anything?!”

Pushing his hands away from your face, you gave him an incredulous gaze, “I didn’t touch anything! I’m not an idiot, so you don’t have to talk to me like I’m one, bucky! Stop- stop trying to touch me, I’m fine,” he had been reaching for your face to examine it again, ignoring your sassy, angry tone. Still, you stepped back out of his reach, becoming frustrated with his lack of trust.

As Bucky’s mouth opened to probably further chastise you, the door ricocheted off the wall as The Avengers swarmed into the uncomfortable small room. Natasha was by your side first, examining your face just as closely as Bucky, but at least she had listened when you explained that you felt completely fine. Tony then scanned your vital signs, which were also fine.

“I told you! It’s probably some mouldy old water or something; I feel fine now can you all give me some space? You’re making it hot in here”. You were fanning your face to try and cool yourself like someone had just turned on the heating, but it was primarily because the small room was full of warm-blooded people.

“Let’s head back out, and we’ve nearly finished the sweep on the North side”, Tony began, the face plate of his suit sliding back into place. “We’ll continue and finish the rest.” He lifted his metal-covered hand and pointed a finger towards Bucky. “Barnes, take her back to the Quinjet, keep an eye on her”.

“No! Don’t send me back to the jet like a child. I told you, I feel absolutely fine!” you quickly tried to rationalise with Tony. Still, he ignored you, hovering off the ground and flying out into the corridor. You looked to the other Avengers with the hope that one of them may find some pity for you, but all you had in response were close-lipped smiles that notified you that there was nothing that they were going to do.

Letting out a frustrated shout, you stopped, admittedly like a child, in the direction you and Bucky had walked down. Even though his steps were silent, you knew he was behind. You could feel his stare burning into the back of your head.

As you returned to the Quinjet, Bucky continued to stay silent as you both sat on opposite sides of the seating bay. Your anger spiked as you shrugged off your jacket, still feeling slightly warm and needing air to reach your skin.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked as you moved across the jet with determined steps.

“The toilet, or do I need you to hold my hand as I’m doing that too?” you snap, cheeks heating as anger bubbles deep in the centre of your chest. Bucky, for once, looked taken aback by your tone as he shook his head and allowed you to go to the bathroom.

Once inside the small compartment, you rushed to the sink, turned the tap onto its coldest setting and began to scoop it over your skin, sighing in contentment as your skin began to cool down. Pressing your fingers against your face, you felt uneasy with the temperature of your skin, and it was like you were starting to get the flu but also not quite at the heat that concerned you. You decided it was probably from rushing back to the jet after a few minutes of deep breathing.

A rush of guilt settled heavily in your stomach as you thought about how you’d spoken to Bucky. You’d never broken rank and been that rude to him before. Not once had you ever raised your voice or even been angry with him, even through all the times that he’d declined your joining for a mission; it was always for the best, but now, everything just seemed to have escalated. You couldn’t calm yourself down like you were buzzing from the inside out, affecting your temperature and mind.

Three swift knocks on the bathroom door had your head snapping in that direction. “Everything ok in there?” Bucky asked tentatively.

“Yes! Can’t a girl pee without being interrupted?” you snapped, and immediately, you regretted the nasty tone you’d spit out.

There was a pause from Bucky before he continued to speak, but this time, he had lowered his voice in a soft and calming way. “It’s been half an hour, and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, Sweetheart”.

Half an hour?! You could have sworn it was only a couple of minutes. Rubbing your hands over your face and shaking away the tension, you nervously opened the door, tentatively looking up at Bucky through your lashes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I just didn’t want to let you down, and I promise I didn’t touch anything in the lab-”.

Bucky pulled the door open entirely, his eyes roaming over your body to check you were still in one piece before he sighed. “It’s fine, Doll. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok… Are you… ok?”

His blue eyes flicker over your face as he notices that there's something not quite right with you, but all you can manage is a shrug of your shoulders, wiping your eyes that were feeling a little irritated. “I feel mostly fine. I think I need a lie-down, though”.

Bucky looked unsettled by your words but didn’t stop you from walking over to the onboard bunker, where you rolled onto the thin mattress and promptly fell into a deep sleep.

“So, are we just going to leave her here?” Tony sarcastically asked the other Avengers members, who were now watching you sleep.

“No, asshole. I’ll take her”, Bucky grunted, moving past the billionaire to squat beside your body. You’d been in a deep slumber since collapsing onto the bed. Bucky had stayed by your side the entire journey home, which was a fair length, so he was surprised to see you still asleep. Tony had set up the screen to display your vitals, which he watched like a hawk and other than the fact that you weren’t waking, everything remained normal.

The other Avengers didn’t argue with Bucky, knowing how protective he was over you, as they shuffled out of the loading hatch. Bucky shimmied one arm underneath your knees and the other to support your back as he carried your bridal style. You moaned at the disruption, arms circling around his jacket-covered shoulders.

Bucky contemplated taking you to the medical bay for a thorough check, but seeing your peaceful face, he didn’t want to disturb you. He’d stay with you to ensure you were checked as soon as you woke up. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d stayed with you as you slept, as there were many times you’d either fallen asleep on his arm during a movie or gotten too drunk during an Avengers event that he stayed just to make sure you didn’t choke on your vomit.

As he walked through the Avengers headquarters, he ignored the call for a debrief by his teammates and continued until he arrived at your bedroom, booting the door closed behind him.

Your bedroom was just as messy as he had anticipated it to be, stepping carefully over the shoes, clothes and books that you liked to say were carefully placed into piles on the floor, but you’d simply just left them there to clean up another time. Your bed was just as bad with mountains of pillows that you insisted on having, even though Bucky thought it was severely excessive.

Trying to reposition his hold on you, he hoisted you higher to spare one of his hands to throw the numerous pillows you owned onto the floor. In doing so, your forehead rested against his cheek, and you released an unsettled whine on the impact of his skin touching yours.

Bucky froze at the noise, trying to look down at your face, but in his position, he couldn’t see properly as you were thoroughly tucked under his chin. Finally having enough space, he ever so carefully led you out onto the soft mattress.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as if you were having a nightmare. Bucky sat beside you on the bed, counting your breaths and frowning when he noticed that you were breathing more rapidly than you had been when he was in his arms.

Sweat began to gather along your temple, causing your hair to stick to your forehead, which he quickly moved to move away. As the tip of his fingers connected with your skin, many things seemed to happen simultaneously.

For one, you released a deeply pained groan as you curled your body into a ball on your side, beginning to breathe in quick succession like you were hyperventilating.

“Sweetheart?” Bucky asked with rising concern, now cupping the side of your face with his flesh hand, but this seemed to trigger the pains enough that you awoke.

Your eyelids fluttered open just to clamp shut again, squeezing as you cried in unbelievable agony. Your skin was burning as if all your nerves had been individually set on fire, causing sweat to come to the surface of your pores drenching your clothes, which was still mostly your uniform.

“It hurts. It’s too hot”, you whimpered, lower lip wobbling as eyes effortlessly tracked down your cheeks. With trembling fingers, you attempted to undo your trousers, but the stabbing pain in your abdomen caused you to curl further into a ball like you were trying to shield your stomach from anyone touching it.

“Let me help. We need to get you to cool down. JARVIS, inform the medical bay that we need some assistance”, Bucky shouted Tony’s AI that ran throughout the building.

As Bucky managed to undo the button to your trousers, JARVIS responded with news that had Bucky’s heart almost stopping. “They are aware of the situation as Mr Stark has requested that I record her vitals from returning to Avengers headquarters. You are both officially in quarantine until they can find out what it is that was sprayed and affecting her”.

The sound of the bedroom locking echoed louder than any of your sobs as Bucky cursed, running up to the barricade and attempting to break out. “You can’t just lock us in here! She’s going to die, Stark, you piece of shit! Open the door!”

“Bucky!” you cried pathetically, still attempting to remove your clothes even though all that remained was your t-shirt and underwear. Bucky didn’t immediately rush back to you as he removed his jacket, giving him more freedom to swing his metal arm back and punch his way through the bedroom door, but all it did was bend; it still wouldn’t open.

“Fuck!” Bucky shouted, seething with unending rage as he rushed back to your side, helping to pull the shirt over your head. “Christ Doll, your skin is warmer than mine. Come on, I’m going to carry you to the bathroom; we need to cool you down”.

Bucky carefully carried you to your en suite bathroom in the same bridal style as before. He tried not to grunt at how warm your body was against his flesh arm as he carefully placed you into the bath, but as he tried to move away to turn on the shower, you screamed out, grabbing onto his arm to keep him close.

“Don’t leave me; it feels good to have you close, please!” Bucky frowned, not entirely understanding what you meant, as surely his higher-running body temperature didn’t feel good when you were burning up so significantly.

“I need to turn the shower on. I’ll be two seconds, and I’ll be back, I promise”, he explained and then didn’t wait for your response as he pried your nimble fingers off your bicep. As soon as some of him didn’t touch your skin, the symptoms worsened.

Bucky flinched at the pitch and volume of how you screamed. He scrambled to reach over the bathtub to switch on the shower head high above the wall and hastily turned the temperature down until cold water was running out.

“Sweetheart, you need to move further under the water; please work with me here. You’ll feel better, you just need to move for me”.

Your whole body was shaking with such force that you found it difficult to suck in air as the heat of your skin was the last of your worries. The pain in your abdomen had turned into pure agony, and if you were to describe it, it was almost like you were cramping, waves of stabbing pain but exaggerated to a level that made it impossible to breathe, think, or even want to survive. It was so severe that you couldn’t hear what Bucky was begging because you were desperate to try and hold your abdomen as it would in some way ease the pain, but not only this, your body was reacting in an extreme way to try and fight the unknown sensation coursing through your veins.

As if to relieve the cramps, your cunt produced an obscene amount of fluid to the point that it was dripping out of your hole and pooling beneath where you sat. If Bucky turned off the shower, you’d probably appear just as wet with how much of your juices were coming out.

“Fuck this”, Bucky whispered under his breath as he failed to get you to move by yourself. Awkwardly, due to the limited space, Bucky climbed into the bath, hoisting you forward to sit behind you and force your body further under the cold water. This, in turn, means that he began to get soaked, including the tactical gear he still wore on his legs, his combat boots and the black t-shirt. He didn’t care though, not when you were deteriorating so significantly.

Bucky put it down to the water, but as soon as he was in the bathtub, his body pressed against yours and arms wrapped around your waist so that the bare skin of his arm and metal touched yours, the screams reduced to stuttering whimpers.

Your head rested back on his shoulder, out of the way of the flowing water, but as your forehead turned and met his chin, you turned further to nuzzle closer.

“More”, you whispered, fingers digging into his forearms to hold him closer.

Bucky readjusted your body so that it sat fully between his thighs. “More what, Doll?” he asked gently, his thumb rubbing in circles along your rib cage. It was only now that he contemplated that you were in your underwear, but it was an emergency, even though some part of him deep down was awakening in some deep-seated emotions he’d been trying to keep locked away.

For the first time since you’d been in pain, you responded to his voice by turning your head slightly but only to rest your lips against his neck. “More!” It was like a siren was sounding through your mind, and the sensation of Bucky’s skin against yours was quietening it to a soft buzz; even the cramping had eased somewhat to a dull ache.

Bucky frowned, confused by your demands, but he squeezed his arms around you further, deciding that maybe it was the comfort that was helping you.

“It hurts”, you sobbed against his neck, “wanna feel more of your skin”.

“My…my skin?” Bucky asked, completely confused by your request and deciding that you’d probably entered the delirious stage of whatever illness you were experiencing.

“Mr Barnes? Are you there?” came a voice from the speakers in the ceiling.

“JARVIS? Is help coming?” Bucky asked with hope pleading in his voice.

“No, sorry, Mr Barnes, but we have an update. It seems that Mr Odinson has read through some of the markings found in the footage taken from the lab. The mist sprayed was, in fact, from Asgardian origin. Mr Odinson informs me that it is most likely planted there by Mr Laufeyson as a trick he has played many times in their lifetime.”

A prank? It sure didn’t look like a prank with the way you were trembling and crying in Bucky’s arms. “So what the hell is it? How do we stop this from getting any worse?”

“This is of a delicate matter, Mr Barnes, so forgive me. Mr Odinson informs me that the chemicals used in the mist are an aphrodisiac used during specific parties in Asgard to increase the user's arousal. Still, due to the amount of time that this substance had been left in this hydra facility, it has caused the ingredients to age and the symptoms to increase in intensity. However, Mr Odinson has reassured me that the symptoms should reduce if you were to consummate”.

Bucky was speechless as he looked down at your precious, unwell body in his arms. “You can’t be fucking serious”, he’d meant to shout, but all that came out was a doubtful whisper. “What would happen if we left her? Would the symptoms lessen? She doesn’t seem to be in as much pain when touching my skin”.

“Unfortunately, after some time, the symptoms will reduce. The chemicals used are designed to last as long as possible, and as they are all out of date, Mr Odinson is unsure how long this may last, but with her vitals as abnormal as they are now, it is unwise to leave her. Mr Stark has suggested that if you cannot fulfil the role of consummation, then he would find someone who could”.

Bucky’s reaction to Stark's comment was to shout in rage, and he could picture him now smiling at his sarcastic comment. There was no way he was letting anyone else touch you. “What if she doesn’t want that? I’m not touching her if she doesn’t want-”

“I do”, you gasp whilst still resting your face on his neck, calming your cries enough that you could hear JARVIS. “I want it so bad; I need the pain to go away. Please help me Bucky”.

Whether it was the way that you begged him for the intimate act or the thought of potentially what was happening, Bucky regretted to say that his cock twitched in the confines of his underwear as he sat up further. “Sweetheart, do you understand what’s being asked? To do this-”

“I want you to touch me, Bucky; I don’t need to tell you how long I’ve wanted this. I know you know how I feel, but please, I can’t feel like this anymore; it hurts everywhere”.

Bucky’s eyes glazed over. All the time of knowing you, he had somewhat of an inkling of the shared feelings. Still, it was firstly unprofessional of him to act on any feelings, but his self-conscious bias of being undeserved of love due to his past as the Winter Soldier stopped him further.

However, now, you were led out before him, ready to live the dreams and fantasies he’d been stuck on for so long, but what’s worse was the pain you were experiencing. It seemed he took too long to answer as he could feel the shift of the heat radiating from you once more.

Your back arched as your fingers delved between your legs, cupping your mound as the pain increased; this time, it wasn’t just the cramps but also white-hot tingles beginning in your clit, over every little sensitive nerve that ran throughout your core.

“Please help me!” you cried, tears lining your eyes.

Bucky had to decide then and there if he would potentially watch you suffer with unimaginable pain or help in the only possible way. He’d agreed, had from the second Jarvis had suggested it, knowing that he couldn’t lose you.

Sitting up slightly, Bucky reached behind his head to pull the black t-shirt off and onto the floor, the wet material squelching on impact. With his chest bare and kissing the skin of your back, you sighed in relief, but the throbbing between your thighs didn’t cease.

“Off, I need these off!” you referred to your underwear, the bra and panties restraining the areas that hurt you the most. Using his metal hand, bucky quickly tore through both garments and discarded them onto the floor to join his shirt.

The sound of relief that you made caused his heart to beat with a more affectionate rhythm as he looked down at your now naked body. The shower continued to coat you with cool water that glistened off you. Your nipples were the first thing that he noticed, impossibly hard and aching to be touched, and it seemed he was reading your mind as you grabbed his metal hand and used it to cup the squishy mound, directing his thumb and forefinger to pinch the sensitive nub.

You released a heavenly cry, back arching and thighs clamping shut at the lightest of touches. With his warm hand, he did the same to your other breast as he carefully squished both in his palms before rolling your nipples between his fingers.

“Yes! Feels so good, just like that”, you beg, eyes still shut, but your head had rolled back onto his shoulder, giving him the space to respond to his desire of gently kissing the column of your throat. Even this sparked more moans from you, needing to feel the plumpness of his lips, needing the electrical tingles that came from his touches to continue.

The kisses were soft, like he was scared to touch you, but as your sounds of pure elation continued, so did his confidence as his mouth opened, applying wet, open-mouth kisses to your skin.

As if on instinct, responding to these touches, your hips began to rotate, pushing down harder against his groin until Bucky was moaning in pleasure.

“More, touch me more”. Bucky responded to your demands by smoothing his flesh hand down your abdomen, feeling the skin taunt, reacting to him. He moved over your mound as he watched closely from over your shoulder. This was when he felt it, the wetness that was continuing to be produced and pour out of your cunt. Even though the shower was still coating you, the substance was different, verging on feeling slimy, more slippy and seemed to cover everywhere from the waist down.

Bucky contemplated licking his fingers to taste you, especially as his mouth filled with saliva with the need pulsing through him. Still, it wasn’t about him, so he continued lower until his fingertips were parting your labia.

The second his middle finger stroked your clit, it seemed a wild animal took over you like you knew how close you were to receiving what you truly wanted but not quite going at the speed you wanted.

One flick of his middle finger against your swollen, throbbing clit was all you allowed before you were turning in his arms, pushing his arms away momentarily as you raised onto weak knees.

“Need you now. I can’t wait; it hurts so much Bucky”. As you explained your reasonings, your shaking fingers were reaching for the waist of his tactical trousers, trying to undo the belt but grunting when you struggled to do so. Bucky thankfully helped you then, ignoring the evident trembling in his fingers from all of the adrenaline as he unfastened his belt, button and zipper.

With this new freedom, you were able to reach inside the space and grasp his hard dick, pulling it out of the confines of his clothes. You marvelled at it for a single second, enjoying the softness of the skin but the firmness of the shaft, the bulging veins and tip that was bulbous and aching to be stroked. It was like your prize, your pot of gold at the end of the tunnel, and you needed it inside of you right that moment.

Seeing and hearing your desperation to be as quick as possible, as the cramps continued to pulse through your abdomen, Bucky quickly grabbed your hips, pulling you over his lap to straddle him, even with the awkwardness of the squished space in the bathtub.

Your hands rested on his shoulders as you lowered yourself. Neither you nor Bucky had ever experienced anything like it. The agony catapulting through your veins completely shifted to one of pleasure, like a switch had been flicked throughout your body as you took inch after inch of his delicious cock. Bucky, on the other hand, was having to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cumming, but he did moan in an animalistic way. He’d never been inside a cunt that was so perfect before, so deliciously warm and unnaturally soaked; you squeezed his cock in pulses that he soon realised was the thump of your heart.

“That’s it, you’re taking me so well.” Bucky couldn’t help but praise, wrapping his arms around your back to provide further support.

As your body naturally seemed to adjust to the size of his cock, you didn’t waste any time before beginning to ride him with the help of Bucky’s strong arms.

The shower still coated you both in refreshing cold water for the heat, devouring the two of you. Bucky is still wearing his tactical trousers and boots, and you are completely nude and riding him like your life depended on it. Well, it did, in a way.

Up and down, you bounced, your tits jumping on your chest, which caused your pebbled nipples to rub against his, giving extra stimulation. You were so incredibly out of breath with the momentum of fucking him, but you didn’t stop, only occasionally softening the bouncing to a soft roll which always caused Bucky to moan and squeeze the cheeks of your arse together.

In no time at all, you were finding your peak, cunt pulsing dangerously tightly around his cock as you came, face hiding on his shoulder as you slumped against him for a second. Bucky thought this would be over, that he would have to carry you to bed and hope you felt better soon, but then he began to feel the wetness flowing around his cock and the throb returning. Shortly after, you were whimpering.

“It hurts again, please Bucky, I need you again”.

Bucky didn’t need telling twice as he thrust his hips up to snap into yours, causing your delicious moan to echo around the room. He needed to hear it again, so he repeated the action, but it was difficult to find any sort of leverage in this position, so with his metal arm positioned beneath your arse, he supported your weight and stood. His boots were now the objects to be squelching as he moved towards the shower wall.

There, he pushed your back against it and began to fuck you with deep, fast penetrations. Your head fell back against the tiles, nails digging into the skin of his shoulder blades as you didn’t want this pleasure to end.

“Harder, Bucky fuck me harder!” you cried out, knowing he was still holding back. Bucky grunted, shifting so that both of his hands were beneath your arse cheeks, holding you more securely so that he could fuck you without any restraint.

Each thrust had you almost blacking out; they felt so good. The tip of his cock smashing into your cervix, which any other time would have potentially hurt, but for now, it was just what you needed.

You came again, spluttering and quivering from your mouth and cunt as he helped you over the edge. However, once more, the pains returned.

Bucky had once thought that his increased libido due to the super serum was a hindrance, but for the only time in his life, he was thanking whatever asshole had experimented on him for this moment.

His trousers and boots had been removed as he had carried your dripping body out of the shower when he realised your temperature remained low if he was fucking you. Into the bedroom, he continued his impressive and thorough fucking. Pushed onto the bed on all fours, in the spooning position, even missionary, and he wouldn’t change positions until you were a cumming bumbling mess. Wherever he decided to bend you over, it was always him on top; your legs were shaking too much to support your weight anymore, but he didn’t mind, not when he could take full control and draw orgasm after orgasm from you.

After god knows how many orgasms, Bucky finally couldn’t edge himself anymore and came with a gruff moan against your collarbone from where he lay over you, his seed seeping into your swollen hole, warming and massaging internally. This finally seemed to settle you, like it was the one missing ingredient your body needed, as you slumped onto the bed without any more cries of pain.

Bucky collapsed next to you, pulling your exhausted, limp body on top of his, your face resting on his chest as you both tried to calm your breathing.

He thought you’d fallen asleep, but then your face was tilting up to look at his, which, in turn, he looked down to look at yours. Even though you looked thoroughly exhausted, he could see that you were beginning to return to your usual self as you smiled so gently that it caused his heart to beat harder. Something you could hear as your ear rested over his heart. Tilting your head up further, your lips caressed his before Bucky could contemplate what you were doing.

The kiss was light and delicate, and it finally dawned on Bucky that this was the first kiss shared between the two of you, having been so distracted with fucking your brains out that he thought kissing would be too intimate. Neither of you said anything, just continued to smile before sleep finally captured your conscious minds.

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wheredostarsgowhenyoudie · 5 months ago

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Peter (entering the room, panting and looking panicked): Mr. Stark, I need help hiding the body!

Tony (a very tired mentor):

Peter (stares knowingly):

Tony (stares back, then sighs): Pete, kid, kiddo, beloved son of mine in all ways but blood, you know when Natasha asks that of me, I would expect she just murdered someone and needs me to turn them to dust to eliminate evidence-

Peter (scoffs): Mr. Stark, please! She's Black Widow. As if she needs help hiding a body!

Tony (face palms): You're right, but totally missing the point. Anyways, I know you don't mean that, so I gotta ask. What body?

Peter: Pffff. Oh, no, of course not! No murder, not yet, but an incoming one maybe.

From outside, they hear the enraged voice of one stressed aunt calling PETER BENJAMIN PARKER!!

Peter (hides behind Tony): Hide me, please! Cause I did something, and now May's mad and I think she's about to murder me.

#irondad #incorrect avengers irondad #irondad & spiderson #spiderson #avengers #mcu #peter parker #tom holland #tony stark #may parker #spider-man #ironman

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stayevildarling · 2 months ago

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could you write a natasha x reader fic based on the song wait a minute. maybe reader leaves her diary in nat's place and she reads it? something smutty, possibly a bit of corruption?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader- Wait a minute

A/N: thank you for this request anon! I'm always a bit self conscious about writing smut because I'm worried it's bad but here we go.

tags/warning: female reader, nsfw, corruption kink, mommy kink, bondage, oral, fingering, reader receiving

word count: 5.5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometimes , @wastdstime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay , @blu3dimples

The sound of grunting echoes through the training room inside the avengers compound, your body hitting the mat for what feels like the hundredth time today. Gasping for air, you look up at Natasha, your mentor, towering over you, her chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm. Every movement she makes is controlled and calculated, fitting for the woman who had been a trained spy and assassin at first before becoming a famous avenger.

,,Focus, солнышко'' she teases in a low, provocative tone, offering you a gloved hand to pull you up. ,,If you keep getting distracted, you will never improve''.

You can't help but flush under her gaze, sighing at the same time. The black widow has always had this effect on you, ever since you joined the recruiting programme several months ago. Mr. Stark had come across you through his contacts and wanted to bring you along straight away but some newer rules and contracts insisted on every potential new avenger to go through their skilled training programme, making sure you are ready to fight in battle. Steve Rodgers and Natasha mostly led those and much to your disliking, you had been paired with the redhead. Ever since seeing her in person for the first time, you had been in awe, feeling the attraction towards the woman and unable to shake it.

You knew from the start you shouldn't glance at her the way you did, but there was something about her that you couldn't shake. The way her body moved, the command in her voice, the knowing smirk on her lips every time she ghosts over you, the faint smell of her perfume mingling with sweat. It drove you crazy, made you forget every single thing you had trained so hard for, your goals, your desires and your usual shyness around strangers, only ever focusing on your work and goals and never usually one to back away from those, mostly keeping to yourself.

Her fingers curl around your wrist, pulling you up effortlessly as if you weigh nothing at all. She doesn't let go right away though, instead she holds your hand just a second too long, her eyes flickering down briefly to where your skin made contact. Your breathing hitches, your pulse quickening in your chest in that all too familiar way again.

,,You're distracted again'' she murmurs, barely above a whisper, some more recruits slowly filling the training room. She leans in close enough that her breath brushes your ear. ,,I think I know why''. In response you swallow hard, stepping back as you register more people in the room and trying to remain professional, your shy side suddenly bubbling to the surface. Natasha doesn't miss the way your eyes dart around the room, the blush on your cheeks. She never misses anything.

,,Again'' her voice snaps you back into the moment and she was already preparing for the next round. You couldn't concentrate, not when every fiber of your body feels turned on whenever she is around. The way she stands, the curves of her body, the glint of amusement in her green eyes, her red curls falling freely- god she was breathtaking and you weren't sure how much longer you could keep this up.

A few nights later, the compound is completely silent, most of the avengers either sound asleep or on missions. As the seasons had changed, the rain was now a constant friend, always pattering against the large windows and making the days much colder. Natasha finds herself lingering outside your room. She hadn't meant to, her legs had simply carried her there after a few days of noticing how you fumbled around her, how you could barely meet her gaze without the signs of nervousness. It was cute really. The black widow had been curious about you from day one, noticing you in the room full of recruits that Tony so enthusiastically introduced. You had been so excited, yet so shy around everyone, especially the avengers but especially her. Then she began training you, excited after everything Tony had told her about you and your shyness only turned her on more, seeing how she can make you an absolute mess with a single glance or touch, causing you to forget your strength, causing you to falter and since then she had been fantasising what you would feel like underneath her, falling apart but the way she wanted you, underneath her, naked.

The redhead had mostly been curious, something about you intrigued her, the raw mix of innocence and desire that you tried so hard to keep hidden, expect you were doing an awful job of it. The door to your room is slightly cracked and Natasha's eyes almost instantly fall on your small desk near the window. There it is. A small leather bound journal, half covered by some files, left innocently open. A smirk tugs at the corner of her lips, it's too tempting to resist.

She slips into the room, making sure the hallway is clear before she quietly shuts the door behind her. She had known about your journal for a while now, sometimes seeing you in a quiet corner writing in it's pages while looking so innocent and she had grown curious, needing to know the contents so badly. With silent and practiced movements, she moves towards the desk. The journal is well worn, it's pages slightly curled at the edges, as if you had been pouring your thoughts in this for years.

Her fingers ghost over the corner of your journal, her eyes glinting with curiosity and something darker. She can't help but flip it open gently, the pages crackling under her touch as she reads through the first few entries. It's as she expected, your experience training, notes on some training missions, thoughts on the avengers and compound. A few personal notes about your upbringing, your family, some rough days. But as she goes further, the writing begins to shift and her name appears for the first time. You had done your best to keep your feelings and desires hidden but within these pages you let go, writing about your fantasies, how her touch lingering made you feel, how your heart races whenever she is nearby, how it would be like between you two if things could be.. different.

The further that she reads, the more personal and explicit it becomes, your handwriting shaky as you describe how it feels when her hand brushes your waist, how the heat spreads through your body when she hovers above you while training. How you touch yourself to the thought of her, how the mere mention of her name sometimes causes you to force your legs closed, how you want to feel her lips, her hands roam your body, wondering what her lips taste like, what it would feel like if she would make you feel so good. A few pages further and you begin revealing your desires, wanting to completely give your trust to your mentor, have her blindfold you, have her tie your hands, give her utter and full control over you, wanting to obey her so badly.

Her lips curl into a smile, her amusement deepening with every paragraph. This was all the proof she needed, you had been thinking about her, just like she had expected. Only you had been obsessing a little more than she initially believed, your innocence, so eager to prove yourself, yet so naive and unguarded, leaving your room open while doing your late night training in the gym, leaving your desires written for anyone who might find them. Well, Natasha had found them and that changes everything. She closes the journal quietly and slips it back exactly where and how she had found it, her mind already miles away. She suspected the attraction was mutual but now she knew just how deep it runs through your body and it thrills her.

She knew just what to do as she goes to bed that night, tomorrow she would act like nothing had changed, she would still be your mentor, the black widow and avenger, calculating and composed but she had the upper hand now and it both aroused and excited her.

The next morning, you enter the training room, trying to shake off the lingering sleep. You shiver slightly, the rain and slight wind causing you to freeze a little. You hadn't noticed anything unusual this morning, everything perfectly in place. But as you step inside the empty training room, seeing Natasha standing on the mats, arms crossed, watching you with an expressing you can't quite understand, something feels different.

,,Good morning Y/N'' she says smoothly, her voice almost a little too casual, making the shivering go away as your body burns within an instant. ,,You ready for more sparring?'' she asks and you simply nod, trying to ignore the way her eyes seem to linger on you a little longer than usual. You muster up your courage, after all Natasha always had a way of making you feel like this. Today, it feels even more intimate though, like she is waiting for you to slip up.

As the session begins, you can't help but shake the feeling that she is playing with you. Every one of her moves feels calculated, like when she catches your wrist and twists you around, pinning you to the mat. Instead of pulling back immediately, she leans down, her breath warm against your neck her body pressing into yours, just enough for you to feel the heat radiating off her.

,,You're not focused again'' she murmurs, her lips barely an inch from your ear. ,,You know I hate when you're distracted, right?'' she tuts. Your heart slams in your chest, was this simply your head or was she toying with you? It was like she knew what her closeness did to you, how your thoughts are spiralling with each fleeting moment and every time she touches you.

And then she leans in even closer, her breath ghosting over your ear yet again. ,,Tell me detka'' she purrs, her voice dropping to a whisper that only you can hear. ,,What keeps you so distracted? is there something I should know about?'' she questions so innocently. The question hangs in the air, thick with implication. She doesn't move, her body still pressed against yours, her hand gripping your wrist with just the right amount of control. She is daring you to answer, daring you to reveal the thoughts she already knows. You swallow hard, your pulse racing. You can't form words, you can't breathe but yet you can feel her smirk against your neck, like she is finally waiting for you to crack- waiting for you to admit what she already knows.

,,I'm right here, you know'' she whispers, her voice suddenly utterly comforting. ,,All you have to do is ask'' she teases, causing you to gather control of your strength and escape her grasp. Instinctively, you take a step back, putting a distance between you both as her words repeat in your mind over and over again. You freeze, heart pounding so loudly that you are sure she can hear it. ,,All you have to do is ask'' the words send a flush of heat through your body, right to your core, causing the inability to look at her, or ever respond.

The redhead however feels no rush, not moving an inch as she takes in your features, watching your pretty little brain do all the work as her words sink in. She reads your body language, how you are squeezing your fists, the trembling of your lips and breath. And in that moment you realise she is playing with you, every action before, every word deliberate. She is pushing you, testing your boundaries and suddenly the thought crosses your mind whether this was some sort of avenger thing, whether this was part of your training, whether this was to teach you about distractions on missions and you begin doubting yourself, suddenly feeling embarrassed as all the ,,what if's'' cross your mind.

,,What's wrong?'' she asks, noticing how your behaviour changes from flustered to embarassed and uncomfortable within an instant. ,,You've gone very quiet'' she teases. And then again her tone makes it obvious, causing you to believe she is doing this on purpose. ,,Natasha I-'' you struggle to form a coherent sentence, overwhelmed by your insecurities, the doubting but also the clear attraction and signals your body is sending you.

,,I have read your diary'' she whispers, her voice soft but dangerous. Your stomach drops, a sharp wave of panic surging through you as the words sink in. She knew. Suddenly your face goes incredibly pale as the realisation sinks in that she had read every single one of your thoughts, every filthy dirty secret. Before Natasha can carry on with her game, you abruptly leave, at first feeling like you are going to be sick before feeling the pure embarrassment of this situation. You run to your room so fast that everything begins spinning but Natasha of course is much faster than you.

As you reach your room, a panting mess as you lean against the nearest wall, she is already right behind you, closing the door, before halting. ,,I know what you want detka'' she continues, her tone smooth. ,,I know exactly what you feel when I touch you, when I'm close to you''. ,,You've been thinking about it for a while haven't you?'' You can't help but bite your lip, desperately trying to catch and control your breathing. There is no point in denying it now, she has all the power.

,,Natasha I-'' you start again but your voice falters, you can't admit it, not yet, not with how she is so close yet so far away. ,,It's okay, you don't have to say anything darling'' she teases. With slow and deliberate steps, she approaches you but you back away just as slowly. And almost as if the two of you dance, your breath hitching with every step she is taking towards you, you suddenly reach the wall, again now her having the full control over you.

Her fingers slide down your arm, trailing over your waist before settling at your hip, her grip firm and possessive. She doesn't move quickly, she isn't rushing. She is savouring this, taking her sweet time with you. ,,I can make it real for you'' she whispers against your ear, her lips barely brushing the side of it. ,,Everything you wrote down, every little thought sweetheart... I'm going to give it to you''.

Your breath hitches, a small moan slipping out, the promise of her words causes your head to spin, You feel her pressing closer, her hand slipping up your side, leaving a trail of heat. You can't help but arch your back, just slightly, into her touch. The tension had been building between you for so long and it's finally there that you can't fight it back any longer.

,,You have thought about this detka, haven't you?'' her voice is low, her lips ghosting over your skin. ,,About me doing this.. holding you down, making you admit how badly you want it''. And of course the trained spy was right, it had been there all along in your journal, the words you had spilled out late at night while touching yourself to the thought of her. You had thought about her in control, the way she could dominate you, and now she was right there, willing to give it all to you.

Her fingers curl into your waist, tugging you just a little closer to her, enough for you to feel her breath hot on your neck. ,,I know you want this'' she whispers, her voice soft but commanding. ,,You don't have to hide it anymore, pretty baby'' she encourages. You tremble under her touch, the weight of her words sending a thrill right through you. Every inch of you is tense with anticipation, waiting hoping. She had taken the first step and there was no turning back now.

,,Tell me darling'' she murmurs, her lips inches away from your own, her voice dripping with control. ,,Are you ready to stop pretending?'' she questions.

,,Yes'' the answer quite literally bursts out of you as you meet her gaze, unable to pretend any longer, needing her, wanting her with every fibre of your being. A knowing smirk creeps it's way onto her features, this being what she had wanted all along and now she had you right where she wanted you. ,,Good'' she whispers before stepping back. ,,Meet me tonight in my room at 8pm'' she instructs and your mouth is left hanging open in shock. ,,What?!'' you ask, your breathing heavy. ,,And don't you dare touch yourself darling, I need you to be good and patient for me'' she teases, kissing your cheek before disappearing from your room, leaving you a panting mess.

The rest of the day passes by in a painfully slow blur, your mind completely consumed by her words, her presence still lingering on your skin, and the promise of what was to come tonight. Every second feels agonisingly slow, despite you opting for an everything shower, taking your sweet time as you get your body clean and ready for the redhead. You make sure to choose one of your expensive lotions, your favourite underwear and dress. ,,Don't touch yourself, darling'' the words keep repeating in your mind, your body aching with frustration.

Your entire focus is on 8 pm tonight, when you would finally be in her room alone. What would she do? What would she want from you? The very thought makes your stomach flutter with a mixture of nerves and excitement. You try and distract yourself as much as you can but nothing can pull you out of the haze that Natasha has left on you.

By the time you arrive at her door, your heart is hammering in your chest. You stand there frozen for a moment, nerves twisting in your stomach, your hand frozen mid air before knocking. Finally, you force yourself to tap your knuckles against the wood, the sound final and sharp. The door creaks open almost immediately, revealing Natasha standing there, dressed in something far more relaxed than her usual combat gear, a simple black tank top and loose sweatpants. But there is nothing casual about the way she looks at you, her eyes roaming over the dress, your exposed skin. ,,Come in'' she offers, stepping aside to let you pass.

You swallow hard and enter the room, it's dimly lit, warm and inviting but the air feels thick with tension. Natasha closes the door, behind you with a quiet click and suddenly it feels like you are trapped, no escape or turning back. You stand in the middle of the room, unsure what to do with yourself as your body buzzes with anticipation. The redhead circles around you slowly, her eyes never leaving yours, as if she is savouring every second of your discomfort, every tremble running through you.

,,You listened to me didn't you?'' she asks, her voice low and teasing. ,,You didn't touch yourself?'' she questions, causing you to nod quickly, your mouth dry, struggling to find your voice. ,,Good girl'' she praises, stopping in front of you, her hand reaching out to gently cup your chin, tilting your face up to meet her gaze. ,,You're going to be so good for me tonight, aren't you?'' she whispers. Her words send another shiver down your spine, you open your mouth to respond but Natasha doesn't give you the chance. Her lips crash into yours, hot and demanding, her fingers gripping your jaw with just enough force to keep you exactly where she wants you.

Her lips overwhelm you, consuming every bit of you, gaining every ounce of control over you within an instant as her mouth moves against yours, her tongue teasing, coaxing you to give in. You can't help but melt into her touch, your hand instinctively reaching for her waist, pulling her closer to you. But before you can lose yourself completely, Natasha pulls back, her breath heavy, her lips swollen from the intensity of the kiss. She smirks down at you, her thumb brushing over your bottom lip as if she is claiming it, marking what is now hers.

,,Patience'' she whispers, her voice sending a thrill through you. ,,I'm not done with you yet'' she teases as she steps behind you. You close your eyes, feeling her circling you like prey again. Before you know it you feel a cool silk fabric covering your eyes as she blindfolds you, just like in your entries. Next, her hand brushes down your arm, finding your hand in hers and leading you somewhere. It felt both scary and exciting, giving her control, strangely trusting the woman with your entire life. It all passes by in a blur as she lays you on what you assume to be the bed, in an instant lifting your arms above your head before you feel something cool but much sharper on your wrists and the clicking moments later only confirms your fantasies about being chained to her bed.

The room is absolutely silent, the only sound to be heard your own breathing and despite your inability to see you can feel the woman's presence as the bed dips moments later. ,,You have been so patient, waiting for this so long detka'' she whispers as she hovers above you, her breath hot on your body. Her fingers begin gently trailing down your arms, causing you to shiver, your breath hitching yet again. Her hands begin trailing lower and lower but painfully slow, causing you to move your hands, testing the restraints but you quickly learn it's no use, Natasha smirking as she finally had you right where she wanted, solely in her control.

The black widow takes her sweet time, watching as goosebumps form on your arms with every bit of movement of her fingers, watching as your thighs press together when her hands slowly reach your bottom half. Your nipples perfectly peak through the dress, causing Natasha to bite her lip in anticipation. She had every intention of taking it slow with you, knowing she could do anything and everything but there is something so sweet, so innocent about you in this moment that she finds it hard to control herself, wanting to feel you right now, wanting to draw out all those sweet little noises she had fantasised about for weeks now.

After endless teasing and her kissing about every inch of your body, already having you a whimpering mess, she finally begins moving your dress, exposing your underwear and she smirks as she notices the mess you had made simply from her touches. ,,Oh my..you are soaked'' she smiles, causing your cheeks to glow red but your breathing still heavy as you need her so badly at this point. ,,Please Natasha'' you beg, unable to keep any form of dignity at this point as you need her to touch you, to make you feel good just like she had promised you.

And this time she uses the surprise element, ripping off your underwear in one deliberate movement before her tongue dives right into your glistening core, giving you no chance to adjust, no chance to catch your breathing as you begin whimpering uncontrollably. The redhead begins devouring you, your taste even sweeter than she could have ever imagined, knowing already she was never going to get sick of the taste. Your hands form into fists despite the cuffs, your chest heaving as the pleasure runs through your body, so close to the edge already as you had waited so long, so patiently and had grown so desperate. ,,Fuck'' she pants as she catches her breath for a second. ,,You taste so good detka'' she praises, sending you into another moaning fit.

The black widow had considered for a while just what she was going to do to you tonight, whether she was going to use any of her toys on you, stretch you out the way she had imagined. But again she had learnt through your diary that you aren't too experienced, wanting to cherish tonight, do exactly what she had read you wanted. And so she begins diving into you again, this time at a much more brutal pace, causing you to lose yourself completely in the moment, the only thing you are able to do at this point, breathing and moaning. She doesn't stop, relentlessly pushing her tongue into your core, already able to feel you clenching around her, your juices flowing freely on her tongue, causing her own arousal to get the better of her.

For a moment she stops, not to punish you, not to torture you longer but simply to smile at you. You are perfect, exactly what she wanted and needed, a perfect little toy for her to play with, so good, so obedient and she knows she wanted to take your time with you from now on, not wanting this to be the only time she would get to see you fall apart for this. She watches in awe as you move against the restraints, your body simply a shivering mess before she smirks ,,You have done so good sweetheart'' she praises, causing you to smile a little which only makes her feel even more for you in this moment.

Without warning she enters one of her fingers and you immediately clench around her, the release so close yet so far away. She knows you could fall apart simply from one finger but she needed to hear you, needed you to beg for her. She hovers over you, her finger still moving inside you before she kisses you, her tongue fighting for entrance and you grant it immediately, moaning as you taste your own arousal on her lips. ,,God Natasha please'' you beg as she pulls away and the woman is enjoying this far too much. She leans back, before relentlessly adding another finger, curling them perfectly just to hit your sensitive spot.

,,Please.. god.. Tasha.. Please'' you beg, needing permission, needing her to finally let you cum and feel so good. ,,You sound so good when you beg for me sweetie'' she teases, causing you to pout in frustration. ,,How about you tell mommy exactly what you need?'' she teases, casing you to moan at the name she had chosen for herself, a drooling mess at this point. It takes you a second to recover before you respond. ,,Please mommy, can you fuck me? just fuck me please... I wanna cum for you, I want you to make me feel so good mommy please'' you beg over and over again, the sound so sweet it almost causes Natasha to tip over the edge.

,,Good girl'' she praises before she begins relentlessly pounding into your glistening pussy, her tongue finding your clit and the sensation sends you into overdrive, causing your entire body to shake as your orgasm begins washing over you. ,,Please mommy, may I cum?'' you ask and this was it. This was exactly what Natasha needed, she never expected you to be this good and obedient especially after the first time and she was sure she was going to please you in every way now. Her fingers move faster, curling deeper and harder into your core as her tongue flicks circles around your clit, and before you know it, she feels your walls tightening around your fingers, your white precious liquid spilling out of your core and onto her fingers, the sweet juice hitting her taste buds again as her tongue savours every single drop.

You didn't even realise you had been screaming for the entirety of your orgasm, never having felt something like this feeling in your entire life. Natasha had simply enjoyed, watched you as she savoured every bit of your dripping cum, her fingers still right where they had been. ,,Oh god'' you moan as you try and catch your breathing. ,,You did so good detka'' she praises as she finally pulls back and slowly extracts her fingers, knowing you must feel so sensitive now. With slow and gentle movements, she undoes the handcuffs and blindfold, finally granting you freedom again. You feel dizzy as you open your eyes, still in a haze of the orgasm that had washed over you moments before, your breathing still heavy. ,,Taste yourself detka'' she orders as she holds her two fingers out to your mouth and you obey as she hovers above you again, meeting her eyes that now seem much softer, much more content, almost as if you had pleased her.

She smiles as she kisses your lips, before pulling back ,,You did so well detka'' she praises, causing your cheeks to coat in a slight red shade again. Before you know it however, she gets up, leaving the bed as she gets rid of her supplies, walking away to get a wipe and clean her hands. Despite the daze of your orgasm and this night, your heart still pounding in your chest, you sit up on her bed, collecting yourself and pulling your dress up. ,,What are you doing?'' she questions, her eyebrows knitting as she comes back from the bathroom. ,,Um I- I wasn't sure if you wanted me to leave now'' you mumble, almost a little shy and she tilts her head before tutting. ,,Leave?'' she chuckles lowly. ,,Oh detka, I'm running us a bath, I'm far from done with you'' she teases and your stomach drops at her words, the earlier excitement rushing right back through you, knowing this wasn't a one time thing and curious what else she had planned for you. And if one thing was clear, Natasha wasn't going to let you go, not now, not ever, having found her perfect little detka, so innocent, so sweet and so obedient, just for her.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #nathasha romanoff x female reafer #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #black widow x you #scarlett johansson #scarlett johansson x reader #marvel #mcu #anon #requests #ask

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nataliasquote · 9 months ago

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Can’t You See This Is Breaking Me? | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha isn’t quite ready to give her entire life for the woman she loves

Warnings: injuries, blood, stitches, no happy ending

wc: 5.2k

note: this idea was given to me by @katyaromanoffpetrova (love you 🤍) and she’s fuelling my love hate relationship with angst. Also, this was so hard to condense, so I’m sorry if it’s lacking detail. I tried to cram three years of a relationship into 5k words :)

-⧗-

It was no secret to anyone how little regard Natasha had for her own life. Even since her very first Shield mission, she’d been a force to be reckoned with, partly down to her pure destructive nature. She didn’t care if taking down Hydra agents meant coming away with a bullet wound or two. Or if destroying an enemy testing laboratory meant four broken ribs and a cracked collar bone. As long as the job was done, that was all she cared about.

Nick Fury was getting tired of how many lectures he had given a young, 25 year old Natasha in his office when he’d read her completed mission report. He knew why she had such a blatant disregard for her life but it didn’t make it any easier seeing one of his best agents beaten and bruised each week. The redhead barely flinched when her wounds were inspected, but to be honest she didn’t really react to anything.

She was more of a ghost really, a pale figure soundlessly walking the halls at night. If her injuries didn’t let keep her awake at night, then the nightmares gladly took their turn, drenching her entire body in a cold sweat and leaving her shivering in her tangled sheets. But if the dark circles under her eyes looked worse, her friend and mentor Clint didn’t utter a word.

The structure and routine that manifested week by week kept her grounded and focused. Wake up, train, eat, surveillance, sleep. Missions were a welcome break from the otherwise monotonous rhythm Natasha had found herself in. She much preferred working solo as opposed to in a team, but Shield was all about team work so she had to suck it up.

A lot of the time she found herself alongside Clint Barton who weirdly offered her a feeling of comfort. She liked how he never pried too much into how she was feeling, or her past, but kept a look out for her whenever they were together. Her icy demeanour slowly melted away thanks to his warmth that he never failed to show her.

He showed her how to let people in, how to not keep her heart so tightly guarded in fear of actually feeling something about someone. And as much as she would hate to admit it, he was right. It did feel better knowing people cared about her. But it also terrified her at the same time. Vulnerability wasn’t her strong suit.

Yet somehow she had managed to let her tough exterior be pushed aside just long enough for a certain someone to wiggle her way in and take up permanent residence inside the redhead’s mind.

Y/n Y/l/n wasn’t really anyone compared to Natasha. Sure, she was a shield agent, and a high ranking one at that, but that was nothing compared to an Avenger. She’d spend years in their shadow, always looking up to Natasha Romanoff. I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s pretty badass.

But the young agent thought her relationship with said Avenger would end at idolisation and daydreaming. She never expected to suddenly be living amongst them in the compound. But when an empty training room was suddenly disrupted at three in the morning, it was a sign things were to change forever.

Y/n relished the silence that the training room at night brought. Most of her colleagues preferred to train in a group at 7am, but insomnia often brought her into the gym a lot earlier. She loved it though; a way to clear her head and exhaust her body whilst maintaining peak physical fitness required in case of a last second mission.

Lost in a world of music playing through her headphones, Y/n failed to notice the door slowly open, caught up in her boxing routine on the punch bag. She should have been more aware of her surroundings, like she’d been trained, so that she didn’t nearly jump out of her skin as a voice cut through her music.

“You’re gonna get a sore back if you keep using the wrong form.”

Without having ever met in person, Y/n would recognise that voice anywhere. She whipped around and quickly pulled her headphones off around her neck, cheeks flushing as she took in the woman in front of her.

A black sports bra and navy sweatpants was all that adorned Natasha’s toned body. She stood there with a hand on her hip, the other holding a small towel, a water bottle and her own pair of headphones. Y/n desperately tore her eyes away from the widow’s toned abs, feeling her own insecurities creep upwards. She itched for her sweatshirt that lay discarded on the bench just out of reach. That was the last time she ever trained in a sports bra.

“You keep twisting your back as you punch. You need to move from your hips.” Y/n just looked at her with surprise, not fully processing that they were having a conversation at all. “Do you want me to show you?”

“Yeah, sure.” That snapped her out of her trance. Y/n took a step back and allowed Nat to place her things down before she packed a swift punch to the bag, sending it swinging slightly on its stand. Y/n couldn’t lie, she looked really good, arm muscles tensed as she threw a few more punches. Her form was impeccable, but of course it was.

“When you swing round you have to rotate your hips for momentum. Just turning from your back will cause injury.” Y/n nodded, mirroring her stance on the punching bag beside Natasha. “Unless you’re doing lots of smaller ones, then you need to keep your hips still. That just comes from your shoulders.”

Nat threw a few more punches before Y/n copied, missing the small smile that broke out on the Russian’s lips as she observed. Fast learner, she noted, nodding in approval as Y/n turned back to her.

“Very good.” She bent down to grab her things, back muscles on full show to Y/n who just could not stop staring. You’d think she was used to the sight of toned bodies after working out everyday, but there was something different about Natasha and she couldn’t quite work it out.

“Thank you. I’m Y/n, by the way. I work in-“

“I know who you are,” Natasha said casually, looking the woman up and down. “You work with Hill. She talks about you.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “She does?”

Nat smirked. “Yeah, why? Does she not talk about me?”

“No, she does- we do-“ what happened to calm and collected shield agent she once was? Reduced to a stuttering mess of words in front of a pretty redhead. God, Y/n cursed herself for not being able to talk to women.

“I’m joking, don’t worry.” Natasha gave her a soft smile before walking off to the weights section, her headphones shutting out the world so she could focus.

Y/n however, could not focus on anything except that brief interaction. It was probably so small in Natasha’s life, yet it would consume Y/n for at least a week, if not more. Maria was going to have a field day with this.

Except it wasn’t small in Natasha’s life. The flustered agent had left quite a mark and Natasha found herself creeping down to the gym at 3am most mornings, hoping to see the woman she’d grown to love so much. And, more often than not, Y/n was there, punching away at the bag and pausing when Nat came in.

Over a course of many weeks, both had changed their training plans to match each other. It felt nice working out with another, Natasha had to admit, and Y/n was so easy to talk to she set the redhead right at ease. They talked and laughed and Y/n noticed how the usually uptight Russian had come out of her shell a lot more since that very first night.

However, one night didn’t go so smoothly. Y/n was in the training room first, of course. She sat on the bench and adjusted her socks, keeping herself busy until Natasha arrived. The past couple of nights had been just her as the redhead had been on a mission, but Maria informed her that she would return tonight, so Y/n anxiously awaited her return. She was more worried about Natasha than she let on, but they had no relationship outside of those four walls so she bounced her knee, willing her new friend to walk through the doors.

And she did. Except this wasn’t the confident Natasha she usually knew. No, this Natasha was walking stiffly, almost as if she was in pain.

“Nat?” Y/n asked, standing hesitantly at the sight of her. Small cuts and bruises littered her face and what skin was exposed under the neck of her tactical suit. Agents always had to report to medical following their return from a mission, but by the looks of Natasha, she hadn’t done that. “Why- what are you doing here?”

“Can’t miss training with my favourite girl, now can I?” She tried to sound upbeat but it fell flat, her pain evident even in her voice.

Y/n pushed aside the butterflies that erupted in her chest at those words and sprung up to help her, guiding Natasha to the nearest bench and forcing her to sit. She took note of how Natasha’s hand tightly clutched her side and she feared the worst.

She thought for a second, feeling Natasha’s eyes all over her face. “May I…?” She gestured to the zip on Natasha’s suit and the redhead nodded, stiffly manoeuvring her arms out of her sleeves as Y/n tugged it down to her waist. The agent had switched to processional mode and ignored how close Natasha’s bra clad chest was to her face as she inspected her side.

“What happened?” She asked, crouching down with a hand gently resting on the redhead’s knee as she gently felt the skin around the wound.

“Some stupid agent snuck up on me and threw his knife. Shit aim though.” Of course she tried to make a joke, but Y/n wasn’t laughing as she looked into her eyes. The redhead almost wanted to roll her eyes, and she would have done if anyone else looked at her with pity like that, but Y/n was different. Safer.

“Why didn’t you go to medical?”

Nat looked down, averting her eyes. “I didn’t want to. I hate it there.”

Y/n knew not to push. She didn’t know much about Natasha’s past but knew enough to know that it must have been horrific to endure. She sat back on her heels and bit her lip in thought.

“Will you let me sort it? I keep a suture kit and supplies in my bathroom.” She caught Natasha’s eye and gently squeezed her knee, trying to establish enough trust between them to let her accept the help. But Natasha was stubborn, so there was truly no way of knowing which way she’d swing.

“Ok.” That was not the expected answer but Y/n was happy to hear it. She knew not to help Natasha up, the redhead probably would have punched her, so she collected her things and led them both back to her apartment, walking a bit slower than normal to help Natasha keep up.

Her room was nothing special and probably looked identical to Natasha’s as they both had Shield issued rooms. Although Natasha’s would be fancier thanks to Tony Stark and his upgrades.

There were no personal items on any of the surfaces, not even in the bedroom. Natasha looked around with a frown, not liking how bare everything seemed. Not homely, that’s for sure. Even the bedside cabinets were empty, not even a picture frame for decoration.

“Take a seat anywhere, I’ll be right out.” Natasha chose the couch by the small coffee table and sank down onto it. The couch wasn’t anything special and neither was the table, ring marks displaying its age and use on the surface. The overhead light was dim but brightened up as Y/n stepped back into the room, a medical kit tucked under her arm.

She worked in silence, only broken by a hiss of pain from Natasha as the alcohol stung her wound. Y/n muttered an apology under her breath but kept working, fingers brushing gently over the soft skin as she made light work of stitching it closed. They weren’t the neatest but they’d do the job just fine.

“Thank you for this,” Natasha spoke into the silence, her eyes fixed on her fingers that rested on her lap. “You didn’t have to.”

“Maybe not, but I wanted to. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, trying to organise her thoughts. She had people who cared about her, the Avengers, but not quite like Y/n had. She didn’t care who Natasha was, or how well she could take down enemies. She just enjoyed her presence and cared for her as a human being, something she rarely felt like she was.

“Can I make this up to you?” She tentatively asked, the strong Black Widow now a weird mess of nerves. What even was this?

“No, you don’t have to-“

“Come out with me on Saturday, into the city. Can I buy you lunch?”

Y/n stifled her smile and hid her face whilst packing up her equipment. She knew Natasha was asking her out on a date, albeit in a very roundabout way. It warmed her heart though, seeing her so soft. It was a side very few people ever got to see.

“Ok, sure. I’d really like that.”

Natasha smiled. “Now I know where you sleep, I’ll come pick you up.”

Y/n scrunched her nose at the odd phrasing. “You had to make it weird.”

“You know me,” she replied with a wink.

~~~

That date was a catalyst for many more to follow, and many midnight training sessions too. It took six more months of flirting and secret meet ups before Natasha pulled her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, asking Y/n to be her girlfriend.

The agent wasn’t stupid, of course she said yes. And at first their relationship was purely in the honeymoon stages; sneaking kisses in the hallway, comforting touches underneath the table, more midnight training and also moving in together. Natasha’s apartment was bigger than Y/n could ever have imagined and she adored the bed, starfishing face down on the mattress the first time she saw it.

But that was two years ago. Sure, they were still very much in love but something had shifted between them, creating a rift that Y/n had started to notice more and more. She knew what was causing it too.

Natasha was going on missions every other week, for days at a time. And she’d fallen back into her old habits, putting the job and the result over the safety of herself. More times than not did she come battered and bruised, open wounds bleeding as she walked into the bedroom. Y/n begged her to stop, to stay home more, to reduce the amount she went on even just to one a month, but her desperate attempts were met with a slammed door and a wall in Natasha’s mind. But she still persisted, trying again the next time Natasha came home. But it was useless.

Y/n always waited up for her though, the nerves of what state Natasha would be in when she returned making sleep pretty much impossible. Whatever she imagined, somehow it was always worse. She used to quiz Natasha as she led her into the bathroom and patched her up, placing kisses on each bruise that she found.

But now they barely said a word, Y/n almost running on autopilot as she cleaned cuts on Natasha’s back for what felt like the millionth time. It was draining her, anyone could see that, and being on edge all the time had made Maria notice.

“Take a week off to clear your head,” her supervisor had ordered, not taking any protests into consideration. “I don’t want to see you in this office before next Thursday, Y/l/n.”

A week off would have been great for anyone else but her. Natasha was away, again, which left Y/n with no ways to fully distract herself like she usually did to cope. She spent the first day in bed, holding onto Natasha’s pillow as her tears soaked the pillowcase. She hated how out of control she felt when Natasha was gone. It was her job, yet Y/n often wished Nat would retire, or at least pull back from constantly being in the field. But that’s what her girlfriend loved, so she had no choice but to respect it.

But on the third day of very little sleep and increasing stress levels, Y/n hit breaking point. She stared at her ghostly reflection as she splashed her face with some water, trying desperately to snap herself out of the lie she was feeling. But under the glaring lights all she could focus on were the heavy bags under her eyes and her discoloured skin, pink blotches littering her cheeks and forehead. She’d been picking at her skin to cope, but it did nothing but make her look worse.

She remained a zombie all day, curling back under the covers at 7pm to shut out the world. There was no telling when Natasha would return but part of her didn’t want it to be yet. She didn’t want to see the state she was in, the mess that she’d have to clean up. She loved Natasha, she really did, but with no contact allowed on her missions and no updates from the team, Y/n was starting to question if their relationship was even working.

She flicked off the light and turned to face the wall, images flashing in front of her as she worried herself stupid about her girlfriend. What if she wasn’t coming home? What if she’d been kidnapped? What if-

The apartment door opened.

Y/n held her breath, pulling the covers tightly under her chin as she waited. She knew the sound of Natasha’s footsteps based on her different moods, but the assassin stepped so lightly it was hard to tell. She felt footsteps getting closer and closer and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to face the horrors to come. She wanted one more blissful moment, but her heart was racing in her chest and her throat was getting tight.

The bedroom door opened.

Light from the living room flooded in through the small gap as Natasha stepped through, brows furrowed at the darkness. It wasn’t that late, but maybe she’d missed something. Wasn’t like she was around much.

“Y/n?” She whispered, not wanting to turn the light on. But she didn’t need to worry about that when suddenly the room was bathed in light. Her girlfriend was sat up in bed, eyes blotchy as she stared at her with a hand on the light switch. “What happened?”

“What hurts?” Y/n asked, sliding off her side of the bed and padding over to the bathroom. “Stitches? Probably bruising too.” She was talking to herself more than Natasha, hands working to gather her supplies. But she was stopped when a pair of rough hands gathered hers inside them, tugging her away from the sink. “What are you doing?”

“I’m ok,” Natasha said, removing one of her hands to gently cup Y/n’s chin, tilting her eyes to meet her own. “Just a couple of bruised ribs, but that’s nothing.”

“At least let me look at them.” Natasha knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer so she unzipped her suit and pulled it to her waist, revealing the nasty colourful sight. It was swollen and tender and Y/n cursed under her breath. She grabbed the tiger balm and gently applied it, trying to steady her shaking fingers as they touched Natasha’s skin.

“How have you been? How’s work?”

“Its fine, thanks.” Y/n wasn’t going to admit that Maria made her take a week off. She avoided Natasha’s gaze as she worked, even though there wasn’t much she could do for bruised ribs. “I’ll get you an ice pack when you’re dressed.” That was Natasha’s dismissal cue and she took it, but not without lingering in the doorway to watch Y/n for a moment.

By the time Natasha was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Y/n had wrapped the ice pack in a towel and handed it to her. There was an uneasy tension between them and Natasha could see something was on Y/n’s mind, just waiting to be said.

“Y/n-“

“This is your last one, right?” She couldn’t help herself but blurt out. Somehow she found the confidence with her back to Nat, sitting on her side of the bed. “Please tell me it’s your last one.”

“Of what?”

“Your missions, Natasha.” She bent one knee and tucked it beside her as she turned her body to face Natasha who was still standing in the middle of the room, ice pack pressed to her ribs. “How many times are you going to keep doing this? Coming home in a state! I never know if one day you’re just not going to come home at all.”

Natasha bit her bottom lip. She knew this was going to happen, it always did. And shutting Y/n down didn’t exactly get easier with practice. “Don’t do this again Y/n, please. You know what my answer is.”

“No, Natasha. I’m not gonna accept that anymore. I’m not asking you to quit all together. I just mean reduce the number you go on, take up desk work or surveillance, just something, anything, to get you out of the firing line.” Y/n ran her hands over her face, trying to keep herself together. But the more she spoke, the stronger her emotions got. “I can’t live like this anymore!”

Natasha had placed her ice pack on the bed, not feeling the need to hold it up right now. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted to run to Y/n. “I know you don’t like it-“

“I hate it.”

“Ok fine, you hate it,” she held her hands up in defense. “But that doesn’t mean I suddenly have to stop.”

Y/n stood up from her position, not wanting an ache in her back from turning so much. She and Natasha were now at eye level although the redhead’s stoic face was a lot more composed than her own.

“You’re not listening to anything I say. I never said you had to stop. Ever. Because that would be hypocritical coming from me.” Natasha pulled a ‘sounds about right’ face which Y/n just ignored. “I’m just asking you to reduce the amount you go on. Once a month, maybe? You can still be in the action, still do everything you love, but that way you’re safer and you’re here more. I hardly see you.”

Natasha shook her head. “Our line of work isn’t safe Y/n, even you know that surely.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was getting defensive, having reached her limit of Natasha trying to shut her down.

Natasha was too stubborn to give up, even when she knew she fucked up. She just couldn’t let it go. “You rarely leave this place! Always stuck in the same office, the same four walls going insane every day! I don’t know how you do it! I’d rather quit than do that.”

“I do that because I can still contribute to the missions without the risk of getting blown to hell,” Y/n spat, taking full offense to Natasha talking down about her job. Sure, she didn’t go into the field as much as the other agents but she preferred to be in the chair, handling everything from above. “And you know damn well those missions you love don’t work without someone like me.”

“And that’s great, for someone like you. But I can’t do that, you have to understand me. I can’t be behind the fight, I have to be in it.”

“No one else goes on as many as you do, Natasha. Don’t you think that just once, someone else can take a mission-“

“I don’t care Y/n!” Natasha may be a passionate person but she never raised her voice. So her elevated tone made Y/n’s jaw clench, her innate response whenever someone shouted at her. “You don’t get to dictate my life! That wasn’t our agreement-“

“Agreement? What, so this is, are we some kind of, I don’t know, contract that you’re obliged to?”

Natasha scoffed, her eyes rolling back at the pure ridiculousness of her statement. This whole argument was pointless really but she entertained it, too stubborn to give in or let Y/n win. “Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m just sick of lying here in fear every week wondering if you’re actually going to come home or not! I can’t keep doing this Nat.” Y/n was having a hard time keeping Natasha in her vision as tears blurred in her eyes. But she wouldn’t let them spill. Crying meant Natasha won and she was done with backing down.

“We can’t keep having this conversation, Y/n,” Natasha grunted, running her fingers through her hair and tugging out the messy braid. “You know I can’t stop. This is my life, it’s what I was made to do. I can’t live without this job!”

“And I can’t live without you!” Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down but she fought the urge to wipe it, praying Natasha didn’t see. But she did see. Of course she did. The Russian noticed everything.

Natasha went silent. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. In this line of work, relying so heavily on someone wasn’t a good idea. She knew that, it had been drilled into her since she was a child. But Y/n didn’t, and that’s where she slipped up.

“Don’t say that.” Heavy emotions and Natasha Romanoff didn’t really mix well. “You have to, one way or another. You can’t just rely on me Y/n.”

“Nat, I am in love with you but lately it feels like all you care about is your job. When is it going to feel like you actually want to be here? With me?”

“I do Y/n, I do-“

Y/n dropped her head. “I know there’s a but coming.”

Natasha looked at the defeated form of her girlfriend and winced. She never thought she’d ever be in the position where she had to choose between family and her job. But she knew what her choice would be, what it always had been. Long before she even had a family.

“This job means everything to me. I didn’t choose this life, like you did, I was forced into it. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t just stop doing that to be with you.” The second those words fell from her lips Natasha knew that was the wrong thing to say.

Y/n adjusted the collar of her shirt and started to pace. If she was sitting down her leg would have been bouncing all over the place.

“What, that’s it? You’re just gonna call this whole thing off because you can’t take a break from your job?”

“What ‘whole thing’?”

“Us, Natasha! Us!” Y/n stopped in her tracks, gesturing between them both. They were on opposite sides of the room, a clear divide in space and opinion. “Unless there isn’t an ‘us’ anymore. Maybe I’m just the girl who keeps your bed warm and stitches you up in the middle of the night, no questions asked. Occasionally gives you head if you are really in the mood-“

“Stop it Y/n.”

“Stop what? It’s the truth, isn’t it? That’s all I am to you.”

“‘No, you’re so much more.” Natasha’s fingers were fidgeting with each other and they’d stumbled across a small cut on her palm that they were now playing with, the pain trying to keep her grounded. “But you have to understand that I can’t just take a step back. I love this job more than anything because I actually get to do something good with my skills that have been used for the opposite my whole life. I just need you to understand that, please!”

“You’re not gonna stop, are you?” Natasha just stared at her, chewing on her bottom lip. “No matter what, you will keep coming back here in a mess and I will keep fixing you up and we will keep having this conversation. Is there an end to this?”

“I won’t come here then.” Natasha stated simply, eyes darting momentarily to the bathroom door. “I’ll go to medical, where I should be.”

“You hate it there.”

“You hate me here.”

Y/n sighed, her breath shaky. This was the longest they’d ever fought for, and fighting Natasha was mentally exhausting. She had an answer to everything.

“I don’t hate you here, I just wish you’d fucking listen to me for one goddamn second!” Natasha nodded, almost challenging her to speak.

“I am.”

“I didn’t want to say this, but you haven’t exactly given me much of a choice. It’s me or the job, Nat. You choose. And you know what? If you choose me, you still keep half your job! But if you choose the job, you don’t get to keep half of me.” The last part sounded stupid but Natasha knew what she meant. She only had half of Y/n right now. The half that slept in her bed and fixed her wounds. If she chose her, she’d get the other half she fell in love with back.

But she couldn’t, could she? Natasha looked down, not wanting to watch Y/n’s face respond. “I’m sorry…”

“Get out.” It was barely a whisper but Natasha heard it. “Get. Out.” Y/n didn’t want Natasha to see her cry but when their eyes met again, Y/n’s were flooded with tears. She didn’t care, how could she when the green ones staring back at her were so cold. Natasha didn’t say a word, only grabbing her sweatshirt and slipping out of the room. The faint jangle of her keys sounded as the door slammed shut and only then did Y/n allow her walls to come crumbling down.

She collapsed onto the bed, only this time hugging her own pillow close as she choked out her sobs. They echoed around the room and her gag reflex kicked in from how hard she was crying. But all she could see was Natasha’s emotionless face staring back at her, not a hint of remorse visible in her eyes.

Reaching to flick off the light, Y/n caught sight of something that made her cry harder. Her bedside table hadn’t been empty for two and a half years. A single picture frame now sat there. And it was in that moment that Y/n wished it had just stayed empty.

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